#phil is such a menace sometimes lmao

[dandp]

You know, I thought maybe the horny energy when they're wearing each other's clothes would remain unspoken subtext but good to know Phil's now in the mood for breeding!

[phregnancy]

Sometimes I read bottom Dan fic from a few years ago and I'm like "who are these people?" lol. It's like people totally disregarded Phil's personality in order for him to fit the stereotypical mold they'd cast him in. It was the same for Dan tbh. Lbr the only reason why people thought Dan was the bottom is bc he's younger and more outwardly feminine than Phil. The idea that bottom= submissive and top= dominate is flawed anyway, but also...Dan is not submissive. He's quite bossy and controlling. In the past, I'd even say he could be domineering. I don't see their dynamic as even being Dom/sub tbh. It's more of a playful power struggle. Except Dan fights by asserting dominance and Phil fights by being cute and whining until Dan gives in or being an absolute menace and annoying Dan into submission lmao

rewriting this for the third time because my app keeps refreshing </3 but i agree with alllll of this. putting it under a cut because i got way off course and went on a tangent lol

someone recently said that they can tell who of us have been actively engaged in diverse irl queer communities (clubs, bars, sports leagues, activism groups, etc) vs who of us haven’t and i’ve been thinking about that a lot in regards to this. obviously nothing wrong with not engaging with your irl queer communities, some people don’t have access or don’t feel comfortable or simply don’t want to and all of that is fine - but you do have to work harder to unlearn a lot of heteronormative concepts like these and you have to familiarize yourself with queer culture and history (outside of social media). people’s outward presentations of masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with their sexual preferences, and dan has shared that exact sentiment in so many words (wondering if people think he’s a bottom because he’s slightly more feminine, and then discouraging that narrative as a whole). i also think there was a lot of hyperbolizing with their masculine and feminine presentations, because for a long time dan really was not that feminine and phil really was not that masculine. they were both emo nerd boys who played video games and drank too much soda. even now with personas like sister daniel, that really is not the height of femininity in queer culture or drag culture.

i think there’s also something to be said about people’s lack of familiarity with queer culture showing in people’s thoughts on them being in an open relationship and also 2009 bottom dan.

i don’t particularly care about the open relationship discourse one way or another, but a lot of mlm relationships are open. there are studies and statistics on this, gay men are the most comfortable and open to open relationships. if they hooked up with people when dan was touring or even just someone every now and then, it wouldn’t be as shocking as some people make it out to be. i also think there’s a problem with people conflating open relationships with polyamory, and those two things are often very different. people in open relationships tend to be committed to each other, but will sometimes want to have noncommittal sex with other people. polyamory is having multiple committed relationships (romantic or sexual). clingy phil and possessive dan having noncommittal sex with other people wouldn’t change that they’re still clingy x possessive. and if you’re actively engaged in irl queer communities vs online echo chambers you’ll learn this.

i’m getting way off course here lol but then in regards to people thinking 2009 dan was bottoming as a default, that’s been a pet peeve of mine since forever because it shows a lack of familiarity with mlm relationships. it’s extremely unlikely that dan’s first gay sexual experiences were being on the receiving end of anal sex, that takes time to get used to (with yourself and with a partner) and often isn’t most men’s first gay sexual position. they also weren’t together long enough until phil got his first apartment to have dan be familiar enough with anal to take phil’s dick every time he visited. i know everyone thinks little twink dan taking phil’s big dick is so hot, but big dicks can be painful and are something you work yourselves towards. and y’know, who knows what actually went on in that bedroom so much cherry everywhere, but i do think we should dispel some of these beliefs that again are playing into heteronormativity (little feminine dan taking big masculine emo phil)

dan has always been bossy and controlling and he was quite confident with the people he was comfortable around (phil + other youtubers + his audience) and then grew to be a confident person in general. i see them as a real brat x brat relationship with them being bratty in different ways (bossy/teasing vs whiney/pushing buttons).

here’s my last thing (thanks for reading this novel if you made it this far) - there is a difference between knowing all of this, and still just preferring bottom sub dan x top dom phil because you think it’s hot, vs believing there’s no other dynamics that could exist because of heteronormative stereotypes that you are actively playing into. like what you like and have fun! but please work on educating yourself and unlearning heteronormativity. sorry for the spiel!

[cssnder]

Happy STS! Are any of your characters based on people you know/knew/met irl (whether loosely or specifically)?

warning: long rambling and probably a bit senseless because I can't think today.

Hello, you!

Real life is the greatest source of inspiration. I believe that to write characters that feel real, one must draw from real life. I suppose it is not surprising if I tell you that that all my characters are inspired by real-life people: me, my family, my friends, the toddlers I babysit, the people I met online, and even complete strangers that I have observed whenever I'm out. Writing good characters, characters that'll remain with the reader long after they finished their reading, demands a keen eye, an openness, and a certain objectivity.

To take my main novel for example, a lot of Oliver's thoughts, fears, and memories are directly taken from my diaries from a certain time in my life. His life at the beginning of the novel — in a small village, living with his parents who barely seem to care about him, and an overwhelming desire to leave this place and experience something new in a way only Emma Bovary could understand —, that too is inspired by my own life. And it doesn't necessarily stop to characters. Oliver wants to flee his house every time he looks out the window in his kitchen. Why? Because from there, he can see the church from the village he lives in and he fears he'll die before he ever got to leave this place, and will be buried in the church's cemetery. I suppose you won't be too surprised if I were to tell you that from my kitchen we can indeed see the Church of the village I live in, standing tall and menacing like a bad omen. He loves modernist poetry, I do too. At some point in the story, he gets gastritis from stress. I had to go through this ordeal last year too lmao. Of course, he's not the only one to have bits and pieces of me.

Wilhelm does too, although his traits are mine but exaggerated. His moral nihilism, his tendency to be quiet, his apathy, his rarefied talent for secrecy. But also, the way he learns languages to pass the time and, as a result, became a polyglot. He cannot hear too well from his left ear — I had too many otitis as a child and it damaged mine too. He fears reincarnation — this, I did too at some point. The idea of my soul just hopping into another body every time I died, even if I were to kill myself, and being unable to stop this loop didn't sit with me very well.

I'd say most of my characters have bits and pieces from me, but they do so in varying degrees. Oliver and Wilhelm are, quite obviously, the ones with the highest quantity while the other characters have some but it's more like added details, you know. After all, I'm the one to write them and, I suppose, it simply slips out. Sometimes, when I enter a room, I tend to open the door by lazily giving it a hit with my shoulder. This is something I didn't know I did until my sister pointed it out. This, for example I gave it to James. In our house, we can always hear music coming from my room, including a lot of classic records, that too, I gave James. He doesn't like being talked to in the morning, neither do I. But a lot comes from other people I've known throughout my life. The way James likes to read a certain genre of books, generally vintage sci-fi/horror: Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank; Swan Song by Robert McCammon — this one, James actually buys it during the story —; Strange Eons by Robert Bloch; The Incredible Melting Man by Phil Smith; Horror House by J. N Williamson; The Cats by Nick Sharma; but also books by P.G Wodehouse sometimes, too. I knew a guy like that who would read nothing else but those books. The way James can be easily irritable. This comes from my father. His love for animals, — petting every cat he meets and even discussing with birds — it comes from my brother. The way he sits, holds his cigarette, and stands — it all comes from different people's I've observed whether in my circle or outside while I was grocery shopping or going out somewhere. And this is generally the case for most of my characters, really. They're a carefully crafted mix of all those people that crossed my path. You could be smoking a cigarette in front of me right now and I'd be observing the way you hold it, what brand you smoke, the way the smoke moves around you, the way you move, what you say and how you say it — I'd be taking notes in my mind and giving it to a character.

Now, I rarely have a character that's based entirely on one person only for that book. But it does happen. Oliver's parents are strictly based on my own. Donna, who was supposed to be a minor character but finally ended up being more important than I had originally planned, was, in a high degree, based on my best friend the same degree that Oliver was mostly based on me. Her height, her tooth gap, the sound of her voice, the way she speaks, her red hair, her obsession with movies but also the way she's easily scared of horror ones, her zine that she discreetly distributes to other students... All those things are based on my best friend.

I am just enumerating a few details here and there but there are so many. However, it'd be far too long if I were to keep going and go over all my other characters. And this post is already getting too long. So, I am going to leave you with this:

I think I've already said it on my blog but I strongly recommend writers to journal a lot. You never know when a certain thought can be thought by one of your characters later on. I record everything in there, all in past tense, as if it were a novel — conversations I had; taking note of the way people talk, or move; places; weird dreams I had; thoughts; feelings; ideas; even the weather, for it exercises my description skills. Anything and everything really. It's an excellent exercise but also, I found, an excellent place to put observations and details that will help shapes future characters et hoc genus omne.

[anrisimps]

Ch 391

"...I'm glad I listened to Yuder at that time. Knight Commander Phil really enjoys being teased. Whenever I say something, he shivers so much, it's as if winter has come around him." "It's a shame I couldn't see it myself." "Right? If we go together now, we can see it. Want to come?" "I have something to do right now." As he answered, embedding his sincere regret, Finn laughed cheerfully.

Sometimes I forget the Eldore siblings are only two years younger than Yuder physically. Yuder acts too mature and they act too childish at times but of course that doesn't mask their inner gremlin. Menaces to the society all of them, if left unchecked. Yuder fears no one, listens to no one (except Kishiar) and they follow in his steps to wreck havoc on the knights, be it imperial or Tainu knights.

They have enough qualifications to become the troublemaker squad of the cavalry (Demons in others' humble opinions), always ready to throw hands to defend their commander's honour or just fuck with the knights for recreational activites.

There has never been a peaceful day in the Imperial knights' life ever since the Cavalry was founded lmao