#partly because I've done a lot this week lol

[exeggcute]

well it's been almost six months which I think is long enough to break my posting embargo, so, uh: guess what! I got liposuction lol. specifically hip/thigh lipo to quell some pretty wicked dysphoria that stemmed from having such a feminine silhouette… and I have to say I'm really, really pleased with the results.

tbh my initial plan was to keep things under wraps for good which is why I haven't said anything about it yet (and even as I'm typing this up I keep debating whether to post it or trash it)—partly because I was/am worried people might Act Weird about it and partly because I get a little embarrassed talking about bodygendershit in general. but here we are. one reason I do feel compelled to finally share, other than being super happy about how everything went, is that I haven't encountered a lot of discussions about body sculpting as a possible avenue of gender-affirming care (although, to be fair, maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places) and I figured at least one person out there would be interested to learn about what I did and where I've ended up so far.

anyway. pics/details under the cut—nothing even remotely risqué (or yucky), I just know that body image stuff is fraught + not everyone is eager to hear surgery talk.

to be precise: I got tumescent liposuction of the inner and outer thigh, plus this ultrasound thing to help the skin shrink. a different surgeon who I consulted (but ultimately did not go with for a number of reasons) said that even if I got the results I wanted from lipo, which he claimed was unlikely, the affected skin would look loose/baggy/weird forever... and that surgeon was wrong on both counts lol. my elasticity was great bitch!!!!

they didn't take out that much fat overall, only eight pounds or so, but it's way more about the Where than the How Much. my actual surgeon (who kicks ass btw) said lipo isn't that great for weight loss per se, and what it's really good for is sculpting targeted areas—so basically exactly what I did. six months post-op I actually weigh about the same as what I did pre-op, but the distribution has held steady; more weight goes to my stomach now and less, proportionally, goes to my hips since there are fewer fat cells in that area now. so my silhouette retains its new shape!

the overall change is admittedly on the subtle side, since I'm pretty short and have wide hip bones (and you can't change your literal skeleton) but it's still gone a looooooong way. the main thing I requested from my surgeon was "I want to fit in men's pants" and boy did he deliver.

also a good place to note that if you're in the las vegas area looking for a plastic and/or cosmetic surgeon—this guy is board-certified in both btw—then I absolutely have the guy for you. feel free to DM me for details. lipo is clearly his specialty (and it shows!) but he also does a lot of breast revisions/mastopexy (i.e., fixing implants that other surgeons did a bad job putting in), regular implants, and face work (particularly facial feminization surgery). one thing that sold me on this guy was an enthusiastic yelp review from a local stripper who said he hid the incisions for her breast lift in her armpits so none of her clients would notice that she'd had work done... a true master of his craft

okay you've scrolled enough so I'll give you what you're here for lol. I don't have many pre-op pics because I was obviously unhappy with how I looked and was not taking full-body selfies on a regular basis, but here's a few I took ~2 weeks beforehand:

these super thin men's joggers were my go-to dysphoria pants, to the point where I bought five pairs in different colors, but now they're so baggy on me that they have the opposite effect and make it look like I have wider hips than I do. so I retired them from my wardrobe...

...except not immediately because I had to wear compression garments 24/7 for the first three months post-op and these joggers were just loose enough to comfortably wear a medical girdle underneath them at all times, 110° degree temperatures be damned. (not that I was going out much for the first month since I was soooooooooooo fucking bruised and sore lol.) here's a few post-op pics in the same style pants:

(first pic is less than 24 hours post-op, about to go to my follow-up appointment, looking greasy as fuck because I wasn't allowed to shower yet; second pic two days post-op and also post-shower, thankfully; third pic is about a month post-op.)

so, like, CLEAR improvement already. I will not be posting pictures of my black-and-blue-and-swollen-all-over legs but considering how puffy I was from getting internally pummeled with a cannula it's wild that I still saw improvement literally as soon as I came home.

recovery was obviously not a blast in the moment but I got off easy, all things considered. I was supposed to get drains put in and was Not looking forward to that at all lol. the first thing I asked when I woke up after surgery was "how many drains?" because they weren't sure if I'd end up needing two or four, but it turned out the answer was zero. no drains!!!

I did have to lie with my feet elevated for the first two weeks straight, and had major bruising that receded over the first month (you could barely see my regular skin underneath all the mottled spots), but little to no nerve pain, no weird complications, and I was more or less back to normal after six weeks. also noelle took very very good care of me and was brave about injecting me with blood thinners so I wouldn't get clots and die :)

when I went into it I was fully expecting to get huge vertical scars up and down the sides of my legs (and had made peace with it!) but instead I wound up with four tiny incisions like this, each less than two inches long:

what's totally crazy is that the scars are basically Gone now. like even when I'm trying to find them I struggle to locate the ones in the front. I joked to noelle that if someone did an autopsy on me they might not figure out that I'd had cosmetic surgery, especially since the skin on my thighs is back to its normal color and texture. (in this scenario I like to imagine that it's dana scully giving me the autopsy and I'm in an x-files plot where instead of regular lipo I got alien lipo and mulder figures it out purely by accident.)

with lipo it can take up to a year to see the full results but I already feel so much fucking better in my body that seeing old pre-op pics throws me for a loop. and I can absolutely wear men's pants now—pants for short and stocky men, to be fair, but actual regular men's pants and not exclusively Pants For Men With Huge Butts And Legs. which is the only style I could even hope to fit in before. and even then it was a stretch.

big pic dump of shitty mirror selfies taken over the last few months:

:)

(also I really debated sharing this one but I already included it in the yelp review I left my surgeon so fuck it: here's a tasteful before-and-after in my undies where you can see my bare legs for easier comparison. left pic is one week pre-op, right pic is about five months post-op. including it as a link instead of embedding it in the post in case your boss happens to be reading over your shoulder at this very moment. also this is the one and only time you will ever see me stripped down on tumblr dot com so don't get used to it lol.)

[sturniolodreamz]

first time - matt sturniolo

summary - Y/n finally decides she is ready to have sex for the first time, and she couldn't be happier that it is with Matt of all people.

warnings - smut, loss of virginity, protected sex. if you dont like it, dont read!

a/n - this was my first smut so hopefully yall like it! i also write regularly on my sfw tumblr account, so i am going to try and post at least 1-2x a week on here. please dont hesitate to send me requests, because sometimes it can be hard to come up with them myself. make sure to read the first chapter where i list what i will and will not write. let me know what you think! also, sorry if the ending seemed a little rushed, i didn't really know how i should end it lol

Matt and I have been dating for about a month now, but we have never done anything more than making out before I stopped it from going further. It was obvious that he knew I was a virgin, and I had never asked him but I assumed he had had sex before at some point. I knew I wanted him to be my first, I trusted him, but I just personally didn't feel ready at the time. But lately, I had been thinking about it a lot, and I decided that I felt as ready as I ever would. I wanted to bring this up to Matt, but I was afraid of it being awkward.

One night, Nick and Chris decided to go to a friends house, but Matt and I decided to stay back at the house and watch a movie together. We were laying in Matt's bed, and he had pulled up a movie on his laptop. We snuggled up under the blanket together and he hit play. I was pretty distracted with my own thoughts, so I wasn't really paying attention that closely to the movie. I kept thinking about having sex with Matt, and the feelings I had that wouldn't go away. I decided I was going to take my chance and talk to him about it. I mean, it was the perfect night, seeing as Nick and Chris would be gone until way later. Matt must have noticed that I was spaced out, because he paused the movie to turn and look at me.

"Hey, you seem lost in thought. Wanna talk about anything?" he asks me gently.

I took in a deep breath before responding. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." he replies, grabbing my hand to hold it.

"Okay. Have you had sex before?"

He coughed, surprised at the question, but began to answer me.

"I, um, yeah I have a few times. Why, whats up?"

"I just, I've never done anything like that before, but I think I'm ready, Matt."

"Okay," he replies, taking in what I said. "Like, do you want to have sex right now? Chris and Nick won't be home for a while."

I giggled, partly out of nervousness. "Yeah, that's kinda what I was thinking too." I replied.

"Well in that case, we won't be needing this anymore." He says with a laugh, getting up to put the laptop back on his desk.

He walks back over to the bed and sits back down next to me.

"Do you trust me?" he asks me.

"Of course."

With that, he gently pulls me into his lap and places a cautious kiss on my lips. I cup his cheeks in my hands and kiss him back passionately. We begin to make out, something we have done before, but this time there is more passion behind each kiss than I have ever felt. After a few minutes, I begin to feel more confident, and I start to grind down on his lap as we kiss. He moans into my mouth at the feeling, and I can't help but think about how hot he sounded.

"Can you take this off?" I ask him, tugging at his shirt.

Without a word, he sits up slightly so he can slide the t-shirt off of himself.

"Well now it's only fair that you take yours off, too." he smirks.

I felt slightly nervous, but I went with it, leaving me bare on top.

"God, your beautiful, y/n." he reassures me.

I giggle, but it quickly turns into a gasp as Matt flips us over so he is on top. I couldn't help but look down at the bulge that was now forming in his sweatpants. He begins to kiss my breasts, leaving light hickies. As he kisses down my stomach getting closer and closer to my waistband, I feel butterflies start to form in my stomach. When he finally reaches the waistband of my pants, he hooks his finger into it before looking up at me.

"Can I?" he trails off.

I nod at him, giving him permission. I wasn't expecting him to pull down both my pants and my underwear at the same time, leaving me bare as I felt the cool air hit my body. Without any warning, I felt Matt's tongue hit my folds, kitten licking my clit as I arched my back.

"Ah, fuck Matt! That feels so good!"

I felt him hum against me, sending vibrations of pleasure through my body. He continued eating me out until I felt myself getting close.

"Matt, I think I'm gonna cum!" I told him.

"Mhm, cum for me baby." he told me.

Before long, I was literally seeing stars as I had my first orgasm, overwhelmed with pleasure. Matt pulled away soon after, not wanting to overstimulate me. He wiped his mouth before coming up to kiss me again.

"Did that feel good, baby?" he asked me.

"Oh my god Matt, that was incredible!" I replied.

I kissed him again, still catching my breath. My gaze was brought back down to his crotch, thinking about what I wanted to do.

"Matt, will you teach me how to suck your dick?"

"Fuck, how could I say no to that?" he said with a small laugh.

We switched places so he was now the one laying on the bed, with me in between his legs. I began pulling his sweats down, and he lifted his hips to help me out. Once his pants were off, I looked up at him, both for permission and because I was hoping he would tell me what to do next.

"It's okay sweetheart. There's no right or wrong way to do this, just do what feels right and I'll guide you." he reassured me.

"Okay, thank you." I said.

I decided to try and tease him a little. I could see the outline of his boner through his boxers, and I lightly traced my finger down the shaft. When my finger grazed his tip, he bucked his hips up a bit.

"Sorry babe. But fuck, please don't tease me!" he told me.

I listened to him, wanting to make him feel as good as he made me feel.

"Can you take these off?"

Within seconds his underwear was on the floor, and he was bare in front of me. His dick wasn't huge, but in my eyes it was the perfect size. I remembered what he told me, just do what feels right. I started out by kitten licking the tip, tasting his salty precum. Then I began cautiously jerking him, working up the courage to put him in my mouth.

"You got this, sweetheart. You don't have to take it all at once. Just make sure you cover your teeth with your lips." he advised.

I giggled nervously, not wanting to hurt him. I decided it was now or never. I took his advice and covered my teeth so I wouldn't scratch him, and slowly took him into my mouth, jerking what didn't fit.

"Ahh, yeah baby just like that, keep going!" he moaned.

Knowing that I was making him feel good boosted my confidence, and I continued sucking him off. I reached my other hand down and began gently playing with his balls. That must have been the last straw for him, because he stopped me, pulling out of my mouth.

"Fuck y/n that felt so good, but I don't want to cum yet. You did such a good job." he tells me, giving me a kiss that said I love you without actually saying it.

"Do you want to keep going?" he asks me, making sure I was okay.

"Yes Matt, more than anything."

He smiles at me as we reposition once again to where we started off, with me laying on my back. He leans over to his nightstand, grabbing a condom and a small bottle of lube.

"Wow, you came prepared." I tease.

He just blushes and hands me the condom.

"Put this on for me?"

I may be inexperienced, but I do know how to put on a condom. I tear open the condom and roll it on his dick, which was now in front of my face. He positions himself in between my legs.

"I know your still wet, but I'm gonna use lube too. It will help this not hurt so bad." he told me.

That was the first time I had thought about the pain, but I tried to push the thought to the back of my head and just enjoy myself. He squirted some lube on his hand and rubbed it over the condom, getting closer to me.

"Are you ready babe?"

"Yes, but please be gentle!" I said nervously.

He brought his hand up to gently cup my cheek.

"Of course sweetheart. If it's too much, just tell me and we can stop, okay?"

I took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm ready."

He lined himself up to my entrance, keeping his eyes on me as he slowly pushed himself in.

"Ah!" I whimpered, feeling a burn as he stretched me out for the first time.

"I know hon, we're almost there." he told me.

Once he had bottomed out, he paused, letting me relax and get used to him before he began moving. After a short time, I felt ready for him to move.

"Okay, you can start moving."

He began slowly thrusting in and out. He was right, I think the extra lube definitely helped. The pain slowly faded into pleasure as I began to enjoy the feeling more.

"Faster, Matt!" I told him.

He smiled down at me. "Fuck, there's my girl! You're doing so good baby." he said as he picked up the pace.

Every few minutes he would pick up the pace, going impossibly faster and faster. He leaned down to make out with me some more, while still pumping in and out of me at an ungodly pace. I felt myself reaching another orgasm.

"Matt, I'm close!" I warned him.

"Me too baby. Where do you want my cum?" he asks me.

"I want you to cum in my mouth." I told him, wanting to taste him again.

"Fuck! Oh my god..." he trailed off.

After a few more thrusts he pulled out, sliding the condom off. I sit up and stick out my tongue for him to cum on.

"Shit baby you look so hot like that!" He jerked himself a few times before I felt his warm white cum on my tongue. It was the perfect mix between salty and sweet. I looked him in the eyes as I swallowed, showing him my empty tongue.

"That's my girl, y/n! You did so good for me." he praised, flopping down beside me.

"Fuck Matt, that was incredible! Thank you for being so patient with me."

"Of course y/n, I love you so fucking much." he said, kissing me once again.

"I love you too, Matt. Let's go to bed now, yeah?" I asked him.

"Yes, please."

He wrapped his arms around me, and we fell asleep just like that.

[fansplaining]

IWTV is the best show on TV. In today’s media environment, it is singular to be able to enjoy a show without the toxicity of the large fandoms. I have found that a majority of the show’s fans are hardcore Anne Rice fans making conversations about the show far more interesting. I am concerned of how this will change once S1 premiers on Netflix. The show deserves a larger audience and it will get it after it premiers on Netflix, but I hope the show runners remain true to the source material and continue on the path they have laid. Looking forward to future IWTV episodes.

Hello! Apologies for the delay in answering this, which I believe was in response to this article I wrote about the show and its audiences. With the official announcement this week that the AMC slate of shows are coming to Netflix on August 19th—

(also: lol Netflix, thank u)

—I was reminded to come back to it!

I totally agree with you re: the show itself, of course—but I also think you've curated your feeds very well haha. I've been observing many corners of the fandom throughout s2, partly because I was reporting on the fan/creator stuff, partly because I'm in the fandom, too. Fandoms are multifarious, and I'm not trying to paint with an overly broad brush—I've seen a ton of creativity and plenty of smart analysis etc. But I have also seen *so* much toxicity and *so* many willfully bad readings over the past few weeks, it's been shocking. Twitter in particular seems to have a literal Discourse of the Day and I don't understand how this is going to be sustainable over the year+ until s3 (lord help us all when s3 arrives lol).

There's a running joke—made so many times I'm not even thinking of a specific post—that people fear ~the Netflix masses~ will bring Bad Takes, but it seems highly likely a casual viewer will go, "Wow! Entertaining!" and move on with their lives, whereas existing fans of this show are already rocket-launching The Worst Takes at each other like clockwork (and even at random viewers who love the show but aren't a part of fandom conversations—because they don't like a person's phrasing, or the picture they chose for a post, etc etc etc).

As far as the idea that Rolin Jones or AMC will waver from their plans, I absolutely don't see that happening. AMC has long licensed their shows to large-audience platforms (Netflix in particular), but they're not making TV *for* those platforms. Jones and (IWTV EP) Mark Johnson have been pretty explicit about how they only could have made this show at AMC. I also found these post-finale comments from Jones very interesting:

I’m confident that we made the best vampire show we could make. I’m proud of the adaptation. There’s the element of second windows, how these things are going to be disseminated going forward. There does seem to be a lot of legwork done by fans. I look at 98 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and part of me is like, Ugh, that’s way too high. If the intention here is to make something that will haunt you and that will work 15, 20 years from now, did we piss off enough people?

There was another interview I cannot find now about how a larger viewing audience in those "second windows" means more chances for the people who really connect to the show to find it. I've loved seeing that this season, even—people who hadn't checked it out for whatever reason and have now been changed by it. When I wrote that article, fans were kind of cycling in an information vacuum, with minimal signals from AMC/the creators that the metrics for success weren't a pure numbers game. But in the final press run, they hit that message hard—they are in it for the long run, they want to make the best show they can, and they understand this is a sustained partnership with fans. I think they're going to continue taking the biggest creative swings they can, and I can't wait to see what's next.

(BTW, IWTV folks: I pulled @flourish away from their baby for 90 minutes and despite their combined total of perhaps 10 hours of sleep over the past 4 weeks lol we managed to finally record a season 2 special episode. It should be out for patrons early next week!)

[jessicas-pi]

DIRECTOR'S CUT ON COMMIT TO THE BIT but only like the first two chapters i am so far behind 😭

girl I wish I had been as productive as you think i've been 😭 there's only two chapters so far-

(But, hey, good news! Chapter three is verging ever closer to probably being done! And it's only taken me about... eight months... hahaha *dies on the inside*)

Anyway, i'll do what I did with the other ask and just go through it and talk about stuff!

Okay, so this fic was originally called "The Con" because it involved winning a lot more bets via subterfuge and holding hands. That changed and so I renamed it!

Oh yeah! And so, this fic was partly inspired by the song Summer Nights from Grease, where the guys and girls are enthusiastically listening to completely different stories of the same event. I flipped it around so they had completely different reactions to the same story and Sabine and Ezra were very UNenthusiastic and that was what the scenes with their friends were based on!

Aylan (the vostress kid) definitely heard some obitine stories from his dad and finds the parallels very amusing.

I know i've said it a few times before, but it always delights me to mention that the three Togruta sisters (Chisica, Am-lee, and Khenna) are based on me and my sisters.

OHHH fun fact! Originally the conversation where they split up the profits from the bet and the conversation where Sabine brought up fake-dating were two different conversations! The first one was as-is in the fic, but the other one happened like a week later when Sabine was hanging out in a tree coral with some of the girls and watching Ezra doing lightsaber forms and maybe drawing him shirtless a little bit and they hype her up to "ask him out again" and she goes over and interrupts him and they end up having the fake-dating idea conversation while he's not wearing a shirt and she's blatantly checking him out (and at one point actually half-reaches-out to touch his abs before she catches herself) and he's just "????" the whole time. It was funny, but I decided it was too early in the (fake) relationship for her to be so obvious about it, and I needed Fenn Rau to overhear the conversation and that was easier if they were on the Ghost, so I combined the scenes.

Oh also! Originally, both Vinn AND Tarik were gonna get kicked out of the friend group for being nasty but then I decided to make Tarik less nasty and give him a redemption arc.

ok, reading on, la de da...

The post-stargazing scene! So, I had to keep dialing things back because my shippy writer brain was moving their relationship ahead WAY faster than it was supposed to go. For example, in this scene, originally, they were going to share Sabine's bunk and definitely not cuddle or anything, it won't be weird at all, but again--just too soon. I made up for it with excessive cuddles in the end of the chapter & in chapter 2.

KATKA CAMEO!! Ok so for those who don't know---katka is an OC from my Teenage Rebellion AU. She's Gar Saxon's niece but she's utter sweetness (with a slight twist of crazy) and totally on board to stick it to the Empire. In the TRAU, she also has a massive raging crush on Ezra (albeit an Inquisitor iteration of him), so when I needed a random character to be envious of Sabine here, I figured I'd reuse her lol.

Oh yeah! Another condensed scene! Where she tells him about the Mandalorian ways of saying "I love you" and where she asks him to fake marry her used to be two different scenes! Like with the other one, I added the second one to the first. I went through a few versions of the fake-marriage-proposal, including one where Aylan came along with Ezra to Mandalore and was the one to suggest they tie the knot, apparently unaware it's all fake (but actually 100% aware it's all fake because his psychometry revealed it)

not to brag or anything but "Ezra did not regret fake-marrying into money" is one of my favorite lines i've ever written.

(btw, I still crack up when I remember that in your comment on chapter 1, you called Ezra a repressed victorian maiden for panicking over being able to see sabine's arms and legs. and I think everyone should know that You Are Right, Ezra Is A Repressed Victorian Maiden.)

OK ON TO CHAPTER 2!

i had so much fun with this chapter because they're both full to bursting with love for each other and neither of them will admit it until the last possible moment. I think that might actually be why Chapter 3 is taking so long--they're not hiding their feelings anymore so there's no more poetic internal monologues about how much they adore each other lol

Ah yeah on the topic of repressed feelings--the line "Kanan is fairly sure it’ll take at least five years and possibly a child for Sabine to admit that she’s actually in love with her husband" was supposed to actually be what happened. Sabine and Ezra were going to go on pretending the marriage was fake for years and finally one night when they were cuddled up, Sabine blurted out that she was in love with him and he was like "Yeah. I know." and she was like "wait what?? how did you know?? I was so subtle about my feelings!!" and he was like "Sabine, you kissed me good-night ten minutes ago. you're constantly calling me extremely romantic pet names in mando'a. we have two children and only one of them is adopted. your feelings are about as subtle as a paint bomb to the face." and she was just like "....oh." and then that was the end of the story! BUUUUT then I decided to do a love confession during the Lothal arc, and that led to the... surprise... at the end of chapter 2, which led to there needing to be a THIRD chapter!

OH HAHA OK MORE FUNNY STUFF. So the part with sabine's nightmare that leads to the "two besties chilling in a bathtub...?" scene was ALSO split up into two different events! I've been thinking about doing some edits of both chapters of CttB because I didn't really stop to edit either of them before posting (and a good chunk of chapter 2 was literally written the day before I posted it), which I mention because I was considering reverting the two scenes back to their original versions because the og tub scene was pretty funny. It's hard to describe in brief words, but basically... yeah it's too hard to describe, just take my word for it, it was pretty funny. (it involved Ezra singing along to We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together with a shampoo bottle for a microphone and Tristan playing a petty revenge prank that goes sideways.)

The cut between Ezra worrying about Sabine being upset about his feelings for her and thinking "what would she think if she knew??", and sabine's pov opening with "Sabine can't stop thinking about kissing his stupid face" never fails to make me snicker.

Oh hey I just got to the thrawn pov and that reminds me. at one point I was thinking about having a scene including Ezra and Thrawn's conversation aboard the Chimaera and thrawn REAAAALLLY pushes his buttons about Sabine, using the information that he figured out about their marriage. Actually, if I do that edit, I might write that scene.

Poor Hera--she keeps unintentionally being responsible for all of the sabezra relationship development lol.

OOH SOMETHING ELSE! So, originally, the love confession was WAY different. First of all, it wasn't in their room--it was in one of the caves. Sabine still went looking for Ezra, but she found him by following a Loth-wolf. And he actually confessed his feelings first! In this version, he was afraid he was going to die and impulsively blurted out that he loved her. Then he got nervous and started rambling a little and she shut him up with a kiss. But I changed it--I wanted her to be the one to take the leap and 'fess up, and if I set it in her room, I could have the funny Ketsu scene afterwards.

And then True Love's Kiss woke someone else up! (aka kanan got yoinked out of his comatose state by telepathic TMI)

oh yeah and to anyone wondering, that "another dawn breaks" line from the Kanera scene was ABSOLUTELY a reference to A New Dawn.

Oh and that Ketsu scene---that was actually a scene I saved and reused after cutting it from a different WIP of mine! There were two variations--the one I ended up using, and one where she accidentally interrupts the very first kiss and they're both like "OH COME ON!" because they've been waiting for this moment FOREVER and like ten seconds in, it gets interrupted, and Ezra decides that, darn it, he's been waiting for this for so long, he's not going to wait any longer! and he just pulls Sabine right back into the kiss and uses the Force to shut the door in Ketsu's face. I did this version so that I could include dialogue!

I'm just now realizing that I actually skipped over the entirety of Family Reunion and Farewell, I went straight from Jedi Night to Happy-Ever-After. But in my defense, plot-relevant episodes don't matter much when it comes to crack fix-it fics.

And... I think that's all my thoughts I have on this! Thank you for the ask!! :)

*roll end credits*

[finalgirlminamurray]

alright i'm gonna do it. my tcm fanfics:

The Sawyer Sisters, Fifty Years Later. the first one i posted which i wanted to get done in time for the 50th anniversary of the events of the first movie (not the movie itself, that was this year). consider it an introduction of sorts to the setting and characters of my gender-swapped au. written as an in-universe journalistic article but the kind that someone may have written out, sat down and looked at for a while, then discarded. i wrote it a few weeks before posting and i think it came out well enough. i felt like i should do something to celebrate the date and also establish my ideas.

The Texas Chainsaw Tarot. a conceptual piece that just consists of my descriptions of what i'd imagine a tcm-themed tarot deck would look like. i'm interested in tarot from an artistic/symbolic perspective and designing fandom-themed tarot decks is always fun, but i can't draw so i have to write it out instead. i'm glad i posted it on ao3 because it got some decent engagement. i still stand by all my choices.

don't question the virtue names: the sawyer sisters saga. this is my collection of all the sawyer sisters-verse fics i've posted. i'd already had these written but i did some significant edits before posting, and i think they turned out alright. still it's a very niche thing to have written so i didn't expect much of an audience. it's possible to read these like original fiction, but it would be too much to make the necessary changes to make it actual original fiction, you know? anyway what i've posted so far is focused on chastity (chop top's counterpart) and what she was doing in 1969-1973, because i felt that needed the most elaboration in this universe, and it turned into a whole thing because i just kept writing more and more detailed lore. i'll probably post more stories focused on other characters and time periods at some point, but for now we have a three-part history. (chass has kind of become my blorbo from my brain due to how much i've expended on her story, and she's not even really my favorite of the sort-of ocs!)

features a lot of 60s-70s cult stuff, partly inspired by some of the true crime literature i read around this time for "research", and partly by just the general vibe of the era. i deliberately didn't want this directly based off of any real-life things even though it's impossible not to be influenced, just as real cult leaders were probably inspired by the tactics of others before them. also features a lot of ocs.

i actually wrote these in reverse order of how they ended up being posted. i just kept going further back in the timeline while i wrote

ace of swords, or the rhythm of life (is a powerful beat). the first in the aforementioned series. chastity goes to la, meets and eats a girl, joins a new community, meets another girl, and... this was just meant to establish how she got to the final point, but it became its own thing soon enough. 2 chapters, 14k words.

hit the floor (and crawl to your mama). chastity goes to a party and has her first negative experience with the cult, then goes home, but not for long. originally written as an interlude of sorts. the last chapter takes place later in the timeline than everything else that's been posted so far, because again, these were written in reverse order. 3 chapters, 12k words.

the flesh failures (let the sun shine in). the last part...for now. chastity does something she's not proud of and unintentionally performs a heroic action, then gets her head bashed in for it. 3 chapters, 14k words.

more to come if i ever post the rest, and then...who knows? i'd also really like to expand on this verse here in ways that wouldn't fit into a published fanfic, regardless of whether anyone else cares lol.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Spoilers for JJK 261:

🫠🫠🫠

Is it weird that I love and hate this chapter at the same time?

I hate this chapter because of what was done to Gojo and Yuta. I understand that the jujutsu world is cruel, and Gojo, who when he was born, shifted the balance of the world. He was born with a duty, which is to be a tool that protects the jujutsu world. He was raised that way, alongside everyone else, they all went into this job knowing that they would die anytime. They are jujutsu sorcerers, not heroes, as stated by Megumi to Yuuji way back. I also understand why everyone reacted the way they did in this chapter. Everyone who was born into the jujutsu world understood this. Gojo understood, that's why he decided to be the monster, partly also because of Geto. Geto became a monster to save his comrades, and Gojo didn't want to leave his friend alone again. I won't say much about the others because I am waiting for the full translation by tcb to come out before I make my final conclusion and maybe wait a few chapters to see how things go.

I love this chapter because Yuta understood all these but still insisted that Gojo shouldn't have to be the monster, he is so selfless, or you can call it selfish in a Sukuna way, that he is willing to cast aside his humanity to be the monster and fill in Gojo's shoes when others couldn't. Yuta kept his promise of not letting Gojo kill his best friend a second time, and also his promise to Gojo for taking care of his students.

A lot of people I see on twitter/youtube, hated Yuta for taking over Gojo's body and the others for agreeing to this plan. I understand them, I also want a proper burial for Gojo, but we have to remember who they are facing right now; the strongest sorcerer in history. If you want to defeat a monster, you have to become a monster. I see some people saying that Yuta could have chosen other ways of fighting Sukuna, but what other ways are there? I couldn't think of a single way of them winning Sukuna now other than Gojo returning or plot armour. Gojo returned in a really unexpected way, but at least now they have a chance at things.

The only consolation I have is that at least Gojo died on the same date as Geto, his one and only best friend. I am glad that he was at least satisfied with his death and could be with his friends in the afterlife airport.

That's all I can think of today 😂 I might change my opinions, but for now, I am gonna cry myself to sleep now and listen to Daddy's home to cope. Sorry for my long rant, I am depressed again, not as bad as chapter 236, but it's up there because, I think this chapter truly confirmed that there is no way of Gojo ever returning, and Yuta might be gone after 5 minutes too. Last week was Choso, this week is Gojo for the second time, that's what is fucked up for me. Next chapter who? Yuta? I don't want to think anymore. SORRY FOR MY RANT AGAIN, GOOD NIGHT AND THANK YOU FOR READING MY RANT. 🫶🏽

Hi sweet anon! THERE'S NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR RANT AT ALL!!

I agree that it didn't hurt as badly as 236. So much has happened. It's hurt so much. And while it's meant to, that's not a comfort.

I've been convinced for a while that Gojo wasn't coming back. I was honestly really hoping that it was Sukuna seeing shit as he died, but alas, 'twas not.

I've also seen a lot of Yuuta hate, for various reasons. I didn't realize people hated Yuuta so much lol but they can fuck off because Rinko and I will protect that lil bean with our LIVES.

There's more I could say, but I've already said a lot of it and you've voiced similar thoughts as the ones I have lol but I am proud of Yuuta for thinking of Gojo, for calling the others out for being fine with letting Gojo become a monster all by himself. I think it proves that Yuuta understood him better than the others, I think likely because he also lost someone dear to him and lived in purposeful isolation for so long. Yuuta knows what it's like to be alone, even if it was technically by his own choice.

ANYWAY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR RANT. I APPRECIATE IT. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO RANT IN MY INBOX WHENEVER YOU WANT OR NEED!! 😊

I hope today is a better day for you 💕💕

[allisonmourning]

🦋ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅🦋

New song this week! However, I first need to give some updates on the Winter Butterfly remake.

Winter Butterfly is turning TEN(!!!!) this year. Originally, I was going to remake this album in celebration. However, things didn't go as planned, so I've decided to cancel the remake.

However, on Winter Butterfly's 10th anniversary (July 3rd), I will be releasing my new album, Phoenix. I will also be posting all of my old music for download. This is around the time that the Spinster remake and the original version will be uploaded to Youtube. So Winter Butterfly will technically still be coming out on the 10 year anniversary, but it'll be a re-release of the 2014 and 2017 versions.

🦋ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅🦋

There's a few reasons the remake didn't work out. The short explanation is

(1) Producing/Mixing/Uploading Phoenix took all my time.

(2) Phoenix still isn't done. I want to use Rin on the Spinster remake, and I'm hoping I'll be able to afford her soon. Additionally, the other remake on Phoenix had a lot of key changes, so the guitar part took a long time to rewrite. I'm also currently experimenting with Glitch Hero for the drums, which is making the track take longer then usual.

(3) The amount of work Winter Butterfly needs just can't be done in 2 months. Partly because:

(4) Winter Butterfly has 2 track listings. One from 2014 and one from 2017. In 2017, I didn't want to release the same exact same album a second time. So I decided to take out all the slow songs that I (at the time) thought were boring and replaced them with newer songs that were a little more musically matured. With the exception of Trash lol. So if I were to release a "full" version of Winter Butterfly, the album would become a slog because of the over-representation of slow songs.

The other reason Winter Butterfly can't be done in 2 months is because

(5) Winter Butterfly isn't very cohesive. Hear Me/Epitaph are thematically consistent with My Suicide. Imogen is part of a series with Amnesia, Can't Let You Go, and Eternity. Sacrifice and Forgetting Me belong with Rivalry/Lies and Riverbanks/Decereus' Aria. Words Elude Me/The Meadow and Sarah Ann's Lullaby belong with To Save Him.

(6) I'm at a point where I kind of just want to move on. My plans in 2020 included remaking my old stuff one last time and finally putting those songs to rest. When I decided to come back to being a vocalo-p, my first instinct was to pick up where I left off. Especially since Winter Butterfly is turning 10 this year and I wanted to do some kind of 10 year edition. But when I started working on it, I was just overwhelmed.

So many songs on this album are divorced from their context. While recreating Sacrifice, for example, I found the songs that Sacrifice was created from: The Mystery Girl and the Kitten, Requiem, Opitus, and Family Secrets. Rather than put Sacrifice back into a Winter Butterfly remake, I think it would be more fulfilling to put it back into its original context, rather than release it with songs like Hear Me/Epitaph, The Bottom of the Lake, or Haunt Me.

Additionally, I turned 30 last October. The oldest lyrics on Winter Butterfly, The Bottom of the Lake, were written when I was 14. That's more than half my life ago! The earliest songs from this album (Sarah Ann's Lullaby, Forgetting Me, Sacrifice) have lyrics that were written when I was 18 and music that was written when I was 19.

From this point onward, I think I'm going to focus on new music. I'll probably integrate some remakes into future albums (like I'm doing with Spinster and the other unannounced song). But some songs need to be fully re-contextualized. Other songs just need to be completely broken down and their parts re-used.

If anyone was looking forward to this release, I'm sorry it ended up not working out. I hope the release of Phoenix and the upload of my discography will make up for it 🖤🖤🖤

🦋ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ॱ🖤ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅🦋

To anyone who's read this far: THANK YOU. I know that was a lot of text. Now here's some info on the song I'll be releasing on Friday :)

The Forbidden Fruit started out as a song called Whore. It took a lot of influence from symphonic and gothic metal artists who've incorporated Latin choirs, like Epica, Within Temptation, Evanescence, and Theatre of Tragedy. The Theatre of Tragedy song doesn't have a choir, but it still illustrates how ubiquitous Latin is in gothic metal.

The Lady Parsec demo of Whore was first shared on Youtube in 2018. The first demo vocalist was Miku, then it was changed to Cyber Diva. When I was researching Latin phrases, I accidentally used a fraternity's motto, leading to a necessity in replacing the Latin lyrics OTL

This year (2024), the lyrics were entirely rewritten to be more metaphorical and to utilize the characters/motifs that I've been introducing since my rebrand.

Lyrically, The Forbidden Fruit draws on many songs I've released in the past. Every day this week, I'll be uploading a demo that's either referenced in or a thematic precursor to The Forbidden Fruit. Since this is a post related to Winter Butterfly, the first demo I'll be sharing is the Winter Butterfly 2017 version of Blood and Wine.

🦋ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ॱ🖤ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅🦋

[timeisamarmaladeconstruct]

Super random, you don't know me lol, but I was looking through the notes of the most common breakfast post and I was wondering if you'd be willing to share your breakfast cookie recipe. I've been wanting to make some but the one recipe I tried I didn't like, and I haven't been motivated to look for another one

i actually love this ask and that's partly because @averymayhemeveryday just asked me for this a few days ago and i typed it all up into a discord server we're in, so i'm just editing that braindump into a slightly neater recipe and including the pictures i took on my most recent batch. still, i made this up from nowhere and i cook on vibes, there is precious little exact measurement in here so you will have to do your own experimenting and figure out what you like.

recipe is Long so it's under the cut

step one: soaking your grains

i mix about two cups old fashioned oats, a couple tablespoons or so of chia seeds, about a cup of unsweetened applesauce, and enough (oat) milk/water to get it fairly loose, then let it sit in the fridge for at least a few hours to let the liquid soak into the grains. overnight is better. i've done it for over 24 hours and i really like the texture i got. i tend to mix in a bit of instant coffee granules at this point for taste and caffeine content, maybe a tablespoon or two. you can add cinnamon or other spices before or after soaking, i think i've done it both ways. iirc em said they put in cardamon after soaking and wished they did it before so it would soak into the grains more.

step two: mixing in the rest of your stuff

after soaking, i put in a generous amount of peanut butter, maybe like a third/half cup? i don't measure it at all really, just scoop it in. sometimes i add a bit of molasses, you could do brown sugar too. might be nice to do that before soaking so it soaks into the oats, idk i don't think i've tried it. usually like a big spoonful. i frequently do mini chocolate chips, but i usually do sweetening OR chips, not both, that's just a lot of sugar. then if it's too stiff i put a bit more water or milk in, i get it a little looser than traditional cookie dough but still thick enough to hold together.

left picture is straight out of the fridge after soaking, right is ready to bake

step three: baking

i use a cookie scoop but if you don't have one a spoon is fine it's just more work, flatten them down because without any butter or some kind of fat they won't flatten themselves, you can pack them onto a cookie sheet tightly cause they won't rise or spread, whatever shape you put them into the oven in, they will stay that shape and size. bake about 25 minutes at 375f. might want to check them at 20 depending on your oven. they get a bit brown around the edges when they are done. i use two cookie sheets stacked together, it's a trick my mom taught me that decreases the risk of burning the bottoms.

EDITING THIS TO ADD: please grease your cookie sheet or use parchment paper you do not want to try to bake something without any fat in it and then get it totally stuck!

notes:

i find that it makes enough to eat 6-7 a day for a week, i keep them in the fridge so they don't try to mold or anything, i just split them out into individual storage containers so i just grab one each day and eat on the way to work. i usually take the container out of the fridge the night before so i'm not eating them cold because that's a misery tbh.

for the weekend i usually crumble up that day's portion into a bowl and mix in more applesauce and milk so it's a bit of variety.

my friend em doesn't like peanut butter so we talked about ways to replace that for texture, since it helps it hold together in addition to adding protein. obviously another nut butter or sunbutter would be great if you need to eliminate it for allergy reasons. we talked about using cream cheese instead and i tried that this week, that's the batch those pictures are, i used half a 16oz block and still put in a little peanut butter, and honestly it may be the best batch i've made yet.

honestly it just now, as i am editing this for tumblr, occurred to me that you could add an egg or two in place of pb for protein+holding them together. i'm allergic to eggs so i didn't think of it before and i'm not sure how the texture would be but it might be worth a try.

this week's cream cheese variation, baked, with bonus roasted veggies that were in the oven at the same time, sunday is batch cooking in my house cause i never have any energy (or executive function) by the time i get home from work on weekdays.

they really are more of a cookie by shape than anything, the texture is not at all what a traditional cookie would be, but i quite enjoy them. even on the weeks that they don't turn out quite as well, it's something to nibble on the way to work and i'll eat practically anything half awake at 730am if it means i won't be shaking with hunger halfway to lunch. this week they are so good i am really sad when i reach the end of the day's portion and i will for sure be doing cream cheese again.

[get-rammed]

would you tell me more about skeevy drug dealer Diego? 👀 does he still think he's hot shit? and how does he know Bonnie? did they meet before or after Bonnie met Monty? it'd just be funny if he met the both of them without realizing they're related or finding out later on lol

God complex given human/big crocodile form. He is an absolute unit. Standing at 7 feet tall while Human, and 15 feet tall while gator. Absolutely shredded. Knows he's hot shit. Knows he can wreck your shit.

Also has a wide variety of goodies for the depraved. Doesn't really sell directly anymore, but will to a select group of people. Everyone else has to go to one of his lackeys.

Kinda guy you see and immediately make room for because he will not move for you.

He met Bonnie on accident. He was barely 16 at a concert. Dawn took him to go because she liked the band, and wanted to bond with her newly adopted son and show she cared for him.

They got to meet the band up close and something just kinda clicked. Bonnie and Diego talked a lot after and hung out a lot in the weeks following. Just getting high and vibing, going on trips an such. Dawn didn't care too much as Diego got a friend, and didn't get the vibe Bonnie was being a creep. He genuinely wasn't, just kinda clicked with the kid. Straightened him out a little.

Until Diego got into selling shitty weed and worked his way up. Then he became a plug for the band and their staff. Yes Freddy has done some drugs, but not anything too hard. Man just wants to a lil weed and to pass out sometimes.

Skip a few decades and waddles in a 23 year old Monty to replace Bonnie. Diego basically brushed the guy off and told Bonnie he'd be better off else where. Didn't mention they were related. Didn't feel it was worthy of bringing up.

They are related by blood. Diego's bio parents gave him up when he was born, and he got bounced around a lot. Made him a lot of different types of traumatized. But felt so safe and secure with Dawn, and she helped him find some of his family that did want to see him.

Monty's mom adores Diego, partly because he looks just like her. Careful not to say he looks like her sister, his mom. Who was ostracized from the family a number of years prior for just being a shitty person overall. And partly because he's a polite young man who's been nothing short of friendly at the family gatherings :)

Diego doesn't much care for any of his bio family, but knows how far a thank you and a smile can get him :) especially with the scary croc lady

Diego and Monty's relationship is very "we're related, I see you once a year at family gatherings. Don't talk to me.". Diego has always lowkey viewed Montgomery as a loser. A runt who wasn't ever going to go anywhere. He would die the useless sibling to his family.

Yes he has said that to Monty. No Monty has never told anyone. He was 15, being berated by a cousin he didn't know for no reason other than Diego wanted to make him cry and knew Monty wasn't a narc

Bonnie of course asked Monty later if he knew Diego, and got the hint pretty fast how that whole situation is. Didn't really do anything with the information because it didn't seem relevant to him at all. Diego has been his friend for a long ass time, and he just needs Monty to play well so he can retire.

Within the current timeline of the were AU, Monty is 26ish (I've probably said other ages in the past but for now slapping that age on), where Diego is 47, and Bonnie is 55 (not old, old, but old enough to know he wants to kick back. He's been rocking for just over 30 years man).

Diego has made passes at Y/N. Mostly because he knew it upset Monty.

He gets along fine with Morgan, but Montana he's always butted heads with. But he respects her enough to leave her alone.

[angst-in-space]

october '24 writing progress

words written: 11.5k

most words written in a day: 1,781

least words written in a day: 0

yearly total: 126.2k

projects worked on:

ya sci-fi book edits

planning adult sci-fi book

bsd regency au

sylvix week fic

published spy x vacation piece

planning alnst fics

works published in september:

mama bear (spy x family / gen)

october goals:

do some more edits on ya sci-fi book and send to friends!!

finish planning + draft most of sylvix week fic

finish ch 1 of bsd regency fic

post ch 4 of renga practice kissing fic (maybe chapter 5 too if i have time?)

work on other fic if i have time

november:

HAVE FUN IN JAPAN 🇯🇵

more ya sci-fi book edits, maybe send out to friends

finish draft of sylvix week fic

work on / plan other fics if i have time (i probably won't)

notes:

october was a bit all over the place for me. i was traveling for the first week-ish of the month and then the rest of the month... well, didn't get a lot done but that's partly because I'M GOING TO JAPAN IN THREE DAYS (!!!) so the last few weeks have been a lot of planning/preparing etc. plus stressed about...other things going on in the world, so i just did not have as much mental energy. but oh well that's ok!

i still did a bit more editing of my ya sci-fi book, mostly on One Chapter that has been a pain in my ass. but i think i am almost done with it now and hope to send it out to critique partners soon. i'm hoping i can also do a bit more general editing and be able to send the whole book out to some friends/fam to read for fun (maybe by end of the year at least)... feel like i need a positivity pass very badly lol.

also did a bit of planning on an adult sci-fi book idea i've been thinking about for like... a year-ish now. still am trying to figure out a lot of plot details, but i did at least sorta figure out the ending i think!

i got a fair amount of my sylvix week fic done (i think about 2.5k so far) but uhh not as much as i hoped. i'm nervous about getting it done on time bc i haven't even finished the first chapter (out of a planned 4 chapters) annddd i am gonna be in japan for half the month and have accepted i will not have time to write lol. plus there is thanksgiving and everything after that... 😅 but i will try my best o7

oh yeah i also fell very far down the alien stage rabbit hole (i sure do love that.. angst in space....hahaha) so that has basically consumed my entire brain for the past week. literally like a day after i finished watching all of it / consuming all the bonus content i started planning two fics immediately, one of which i've written like 3k words of notes for so errmmm. i'm not sure when i'll actually have time to write those, maybe if i can actually finish writing a thing or two by the end of the year lmao.

soooo yeah that's what was up with me this past month! november i'm just going to focus primarily on enjoying my trip, but i hope to get a bit done here and there too. happy november and manifesting that this month treats us all well 💖

[superfluouskeys]

Personal ask anon here! Yeah, no worries, it is a bit of a personal question! I just found that even though I never thought I'd have a partner and least of all get married, I have completely accidentally met a woman I'm now engaged to, and it has been such a weird experience, in the sense that I am not even remotely as crazy about it as I thought I'd be. I never believed in engagement nor marriage, and then one morning relatively recently I was just totally impulsively like haha, this is so great, marry me? And she was like, yeah! :) And I was so taken aback by my own behaviour that it took me several weeks to process lol, especially because I feel no regret about doing it. I have had dozens of weird flings, situationships, relationships, and most of them were toxic and weird as fuck, but then I find myself at almost thirty (which is still pretty young imo), this woman comes along and I rediscover the power of love lol?! Is that what getting older is?? I simply wanted to hear from someone my age or older who might have Thoughts to share that are not "uwu you've Found One True Love Disney Bullshit" haha! I genuinely think it is a shift in me personally, and not me just finding the perfect person that Cured Me, even though we are objectively a good match on many levels. It just feels so normal?? Anyway, this was ranty! You don't have to respond, I just thought you might have interesting opinions on this topic, you vibe like someone who has Lived Life in the sense that you're not a chronically online person whose perception of relationships is forged on the internet lol

Ahhh, I understand now!! That's really wonderful news, congratulations!!!!!

Since I didn't want to answer the first question (which I suppose is a kind of answer lol) I wasn't sure how to frame the rest without more info! I definitely find lately that I'm thinking a lot about how I used to view and be in relationships when I was younger, and especially how much I've chilled out about it lol! I think it's partly just getting older, but it's also learning and growing from your past experiences, and being open to the changes within yourself! Lots of people get older and keep doing the same shit, and/or they're the ones out here propagating fake bs that makes themselves feel better about their shitty choices while making esp younger people feel like they're just doing it wrong, or like that's something they could never imagine for themselves. Learning from both good and bad experiences and choosing to do and find better is not nothing!

And I definitely feel you that it takes a little bit of an adjustment period just to be like, 'oh, i guess i'm like this now?? huh.' I used to be really emotionally closed off and guarded, and it took me an unreasonably long time to even decide if I liked or could trust someone on a very baseline level. Not too long ago I realized I'm fairly open-hearted these days, and that I can trust my instincts--when I know I like someone, I know, and if it turns out it doesn't work for other reasons, I can accept that it's not some kind of moral failing on my part. But it took a couple of months of just sitting with that realization before I could be like, yeah, I think this is just how I feel now, and I need to adjust how I act accordingly to respect that change in myself!

And god I also used to hate how people would be like 'you'll just feel different when you're older, your priorities will just change uwu' when from my perspective they were justifying settling for less than their worth LOL! When really what I think it comes down to is meeting someone you click with when you're both ready for it, and you've done enough work on yourselves to be able to roll with the punches! It's a truly beautiful thing to realize one day that in spite of everything, you're willing, able, and ready to love! I wish you all the best, and thank you so much for sharing!!!

[drippingmoon]

Hi Moonie! I’ve missed you!!

I have a few weeks of freedom before the next semester starts, and I’m trying to be active on here again! So how have you been, dear friend? How is the writing going?

- from @mel-writes-with-her-dragons ✨

MEL!

(Without the tiny fangs, but alas)

MEL! MEL! MEL! Have to pinch myself, but I woke up so happy when I saw this message from you! How have you been, old buddy?? How's uni going? Want me to kick its arse? I know the adjustment is horrible, and in these few weeks of freedom you have, I hope you get plenty of rest and entertainment and love and everything (and I'm so proud of you for surviving!!!) Hnngh, I gotta have you sit down somewhere because I wanna hear as much as you have the energy to share🤩 How's your writing been??

MEEEEEL.

(Okay, I'm partly done, sue me<3 <3 <3)

Life's been better for me lately, and a lot freer after the three years of hell, so you're finding me well. Writing's been keeping my sanity afloat, and I've somehow become even more manic about it than I was lol. To make it short, 'quiv's being beta read and very very close to being done🤯 and I have a second series, Aberration of Sunlight, that's bringing me joy right now.

My tumblr activity's also plummeted like a dumped dumpling, which you can tell by how it took me a bit to get to this:( (basically I become active for a while, then go underwater for a few weeks, even months) BUT I'm super excited to see you and everything you wanna do!!

And, and, of course, WELCOME BACK, MEL!!🥳🥳❤😍🥂 Man, feels like a dream to see you again🤩🤩🤩

[magnetarmadda]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks @organchordsandlightning for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

85, 1 HFTH and 84 TMA

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

314,915

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

I've got a lot of wips for a variety of fandoms that haven't yet seen the light of day. TMA most prominently of course, HFTH (and a few wips in the back burner), Murderbot Diaries, Star Trek, Sherlock Holmes, Tell No Tales podcast, and Mistholme Museum

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Lucky Stars

Mysterious Love

Here to Forever

Terror in the Archives

My Arms Around You

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do, although not nearly as regularly as I used to. It can take me months to respond, but I always will!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

This Is Our Last Goodbye - Jon leaves Martin in the tunnels without saying goodbye

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Okay, actually, the one I think has the happiest ending hasn't been posted yet (upcoming for jmart week 2024), but this one is in the same vein of healing and recovery and finding happiness after an unimaginable tragedy - I Have So Much of You In My Heart

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Every once in a while, though it's so rare

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

I do, yes, but not often. It's definitely very vanilla, and it almost always portrays some of my own experiences with asexuality and desire

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

I don't, but not because I don't like them. I just personally find it hard to write them--one of those kinds of fics that don't store well in my brain. I've read quite a few I really love, though!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

I have, but it's been a long time now since that happened, and I don't know of any of my recent fics being stolen

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

I haven't, I don't think

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Yes! I co-wrote all the time with my best friend when we were growing up, and it was a great experience

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? 

Genuinely, I don't know. The ship that's seemed to move into my brain forever is JonMartin, and I do desperately love them, but there are plenty of other ships I truly love but don't engage with in a fandom sense

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

I have a couple that I just lost the ideas for (my memory is like a sieve anymore, thanks brain fog), and I may not finish them because I'll be unable either recall where I wanted them to go or find endings that feel meaningful/in line with what I've already written

16. What are your writing strengths? 

I'm great with dialogue and with passing on emotions to readers, and I think I'm pretty funny and good with metaphors and descriptions

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

I really struggle with writing action and with pacing out stories in a way that lets all of the characters grow along with the narrative

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

I have no issue with it, but I'm not sure it's something I've done? Partly because I'm only fluent in English and my smattering of German and French wouldn't be very helpful with that lol

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

Encyclopedia Brown, actually, and I'm sure my mom still has the stories somewhere

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

So, caveat--this is the fic I'm most proud of having finished and shared, making it my favorite for very personal reasons. I started i am loving myself out of the dark as both a response to @probsnothawkeye's coffee shop AU series and as a way to process some of my own trauma, and in the year since I finished it, I've actually used pieces of it as touchstones on my healing journey

On that very light note lol, here's a handful of tags, if you'd like to do it: @therealandian, @cirrus-grey, @ollieofthebeholder, and anyone else who'd like to share about their fics!

[sunshinechildskywalker]

20 questions for fic writers

Hi, friends! I was tagged by the forever-incredible @ladyvader23- thanks for the tag, my friend!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

I have 12 works and counting!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

67,866 words (woah! More than I realized!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write primarily for Star Wars, but also write for Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and believe it or not, the Simpsons! Sideshow Bob sparked something in my bestie and I that kicked off a year of non-stop Google Doc sharing and squee comments on each other's works XD

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Grounded (578)

L & V One Shots & Ficlets (554)

Convalescence (278)

Tortured Soul (191)

Come With Me (159)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I sure do! I always try to respond with a least a "omg thank you!!!" or something of the like to show my appreciation. I wish I could go more in-depth for them all, and I do for the really long ones, but I end up not always having the time or energy to pay each comment the response it deserves. As always, thank you to everyone who has commented on my stuff!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's actually one I haven't posted yet (nor finished, and that's one I def want to be done before I post it). To give you context without too many spoilers, basically it's an alternate ending to ROTJ in which Vader doesn't die...but Luke does. I've been writing it on and off since my freshman year of high school and am excited about it, but damn, it's so hard to write because it makes me so sad!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Grounded! That was the first one I ever posted (during my first week of senior year of high school!) I feel like that one wrapped up nicely.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Once in a great while. Most of the hate comments I receive are digs on my characterization of Vader. One time I got a negative comment on a oneshot that I specified was part of a larger story I would recommend reading beforehand, and the commenter didn't understand why Vader was written the way he was, when in actuality, it had a lot to do with his development in the larger story. That one was a detailed hate comment and was hard to shake, but I'm learning how to let them roll off my back.

On a side note, this is partly why I don't ask for constructive criticism; I have OCD and fixate on even little comments people make that could possibly be construed as negative, real life included. I'm working on how to let them go and look at the facts before I run off with some wild tale about how someone hates me for sure. I'm growing and learning how to manage, but like I said in my AO3 A/Ns, OCD is a bitch ;)

9. Do you write smut?

Sure do XD It's pretty much all Skysolo (which you will see in an upcoming Skysolo story I'm almost done with *wink wink* ;))

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't before, but I'm entertaining the idea of some kind of Star Wars/Harry Potter type thing. To be completely honest, it's inspired by the Sims I made in Sims 4 lol XD. I had my HP Sims meet my Star Wars Sims and it was so funny to see how they all interacted. Luna immediately grabbed a book off of Leia's bookshelf, Anakin began cooking dinner, and Harry and Luke were talking privately in a separate room from the group- I like to imagine they were talking about how hard it is to be "the hero" and have the world literally depending on you. If I do end up writing this, I'll be sure to post XD *cue Spongebob's "when worlds collide" lol*

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, so hopefully that answer is no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but would be open to working with someone to translate!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Nothing I've posted, but I co-write Simpsons stuff with my real life bestie. Sideshow Bob has us in a chokehold XD

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I love Skysolo and always will, but I think Finnick and Annie from Hunger Games takes the cake for me. I could go on, but the way they've both been through similar trauma and care for one another gets me big time. And Finnick is one of my all-time favorite characters, so I'm a little bias XD

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Tbh, both of my Whumptobers lol. I bit off more than I could chew both years between that and school, work, life. Hopefully I'll plan a little better this year and will be able to finish!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I write hurt/comfort well, and it sounds weird, but I write crying pretty well too lol. I think I'm getting better at imagery and sentence structure too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with writing action, and I tend to write run-on sentences. I'm hoping to work on this for future fics!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I haven't done this personally, but I have a lot of respect for others who do. I think it's wild people can speak a whole other language period, but using that language in all its differences stylistically to tell a story? Absolutley amazing.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Hunger Games! I wrote Finnick becoming like a big brother for Prim after the war (flash back to me furiously typing out hurt/comfort scenes on my ipod notes in middle school LOL XD)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I have a special place in my heart for Convalescence; I live for that kind of hurt/comfort and angst, and I'm excited to finish it.

Thanks for reading if you did! I'll tag @spell-cleaver and @starr234, but don't feel obligated if this doesn't interest you!

May the Force be with you, friends!!!

[froizetta]

For the fic writer asks!

1. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

1. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

Writing serious/dark stuff! Since I first dabbled in writing as a teenager, pretty much everything I've written has been comedic or light-hearted. Most of what I've written this year has followed that trend, with the exceptions of moments of angst or tension. But I've been trying to branch out a little. I've written the start of a genfic about Jason's pre-Bruce childhood (sort of a reflection on child abuse), which is by its nature much darker; any humour is fairly black.

What's In A Name? (my most recent fic) is my first completed fic with a generally darker tone. It's not THAT dark, tbh, but it definitely felt quite different to write. I'm actually really happy with how it turned out, and would definitely like to write more stuff along those lines!

12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

The real but boring answer is probably An Honest Conversation. It was probably the most creative writing I'd done in years, so there was definitely a learning curve as I went. Also, its sheer length compared to everything else I've tried to write meant there were a lot more moving pieces to keep track of, a lot more depth and complexity, an actual plot - just generally a lot more to think about. Case in point: compared to the oneshots I've published, which were mostly written within a week, it took me the better part of the whole year to finish it (although admittedly that's partly because I wrote half of it alongside my doctoral thesis; strangely enough, fic writing progressed quite a bit faster after I'd submitted lol).

[darkacey]

Amber/peridot

Thanks anon for the asks! (And apologies for taking so long to answer - figuring out my response to Peridot was harder than I expected it to be.) Original list can be found here!

As usual, my response is super long, so check them out under the cut.

Amber: Something you learned from writing your wip

Two main things come to mind

While figuring out what sort of gloves Lucas wears, I found that hairsheep leather is a special type of very supple/fine leather made from hairsheep! They have hair instead of wool, and they're primarily raised for meat/leather. (I went with leather instead of silk for Lucas because silk would get dirty way too quickly and probably get destroyed by everything I put him through).

Hairsheep Leather

Characteristics: This type of leather is known for its great strength and natural elasticity, which helps the glove to fit properly. Hairsheep is neither thick nor bulky, but is instead a lighter material to work with. Best of all, hairsheep is buttery soft to the touch, and provides lasting comfort for the wearer.

When I was stuck on the Atohl's End segment, I toured an actual salt mine and learned a ton about how it's mined, how it is/was used, and what it is/was like for the miners. I could probably make an entire post about all the stuff I learned there, but basically I figured out that Atohl's End is definitely an iron mine and not a salt mine. But I still haven't done a lot of research into iron mines lol

Fun facts about salt mines

The walls sparkle!

Mining is done through a checkerboard pattern. They take out large "rooms" in between pillars, and they have to be careful to mine within specific mud lines or else it causes the ceiling to collapse.

To control airflow, emptied "rooms" used to be boarded up with empty explosives boxes filled with trash salt. Nowadays they use heavy curtains because the boxes used to be knocked over by explosive blasts a lot.

"Anything that comes down, stays down" - this refers to the fact that unless it's absolutely necessary, everything you don't need doesn't come back up because the hoist is so tiny (4 by 6 feet), it's only cost effective to bring up salt and miners. To get anything down, they had to take it in pieces (this includes cars - they'd dismember them, discard windshields/whatever else was unnecessary, and then reassemble them underground). Tools, trash, etc were all abandoned once they outlived their usefulness.

Salt mines are a great place to preserve stuff. The one I visited has a lot of Hollywood memorabilia because the air is dry, temperature is steady, and there's next to no chance of natural disasters destroying anything.

A ton of other stuff that I'd probably spend a week explaining, but I have writing and other things to do. ^^; (That said, if you have specific questions, I'd still be happy to answer when I have time.)

Peridot: What is your protagonist’s greatest strength / weakness

I think technically Lucas is my protagonist, but I see him and Ari as dual protagonists. For both of them, their curiosity about all things gets them into so much trouble. They show their curiosity in very different ways (Lucas has to write everything down and analyze things, Ari has to experience and/or create new things). The more I think on this, though, it isn’t really a weakness. That would mean it hinders the progress of their goals, which it doesn’t. They’re just unlucky.

Hmm… With that angle, it seems more apt to say that Lucas’ weakness is overthinking, getting stuck in his head instead of actually reaching out. Lot of reasons for this (mostly related to godhood and self-imposed isolation that’s become so ingrained, it’s still there even after amnesia), but it’s also partly due to the way his brain works. (I could also point towards his dogmatic inclinations/abitrary rules, but I've downplayed those in Who Remembers a God as an implied-autistic trait for Rules as Comfort).

Lucas’ strength is hard for me to pinpoint. I could again look towards his curiosity, and his passion to record everything, but it's hard to say that he's actually good at it. (I say this affectionately, but this man is a hoarder of knowledge, and only lifetimes of experience have taught him how to have any semblance of organization).

I think what Lucas naturally excels at is his people skills, actually (which is ironic given the stereotypes about autistic people). His instinctual inclination to be a showman, to spread joy intentionally or accidentally, allows him to gain friends and allies wherever he goes. Plus, it's extra helpful to collect all the stories he loves cataloging. (Sure, excessive miracles cause him quite a bit of grief, but he's used to bad luck).

Now, as for Ari, their strength is probably just the fact that they're a jack of all trades. Whatever they put their mind to, they're able to figure out with reasonable degrees of success. (Being an Earthmate gives them an unfair advantage, but my point still stands.)

Conversely, because Ari is so good at so many things, they unfortunately feel the need to do everything for everyone else. Their weakness is their inability to easily trust other people. While this usually works out just fine (who doesn't appreciate extra help?), it does hurt their relationships when they cross boundaries.