#pappy clip
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karyan156 · 5 months ago
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REIGN💕
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rebouks · 10 months ago
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Idk if you’ve already done this (newer follower and still catching up) but would you ever do a post on how you plan a post? Like what your planning process looks like with shots, poses, etc? You’re one of my favorite storytellers and I hope to get on your level one day but no idea what goes into a true story telling post
Ooooh hi hello, welcome! I don't believe I have ever gone into my process, no! but how interesting.. what better excuse! let's take yesterdays post as an example, shall we? 👀
First of all, we start with the premise/notes, which are very rough n' look like this in a word document...
Camping – the twins are fiiighting/being a pain, Oscar loses temper with em n almost says why can’t u be like ur brother?! throwing him into memories of Salton saying that to him all the time :[ he catches himself like no wait ur perfect I just gotta finish this, twins like wtf?? But robin ofc knows what’s going on with his pappy.. Oscar wanders off later n Robin sits with him, ur not like them u kno, what? Grandma n grandpa ur not the same, OUGH ;-;
2. I suppose this step changes depending on what I feel like, sometimes I'll make the poses/take the screenies first, then write the dialogue, other times I'll write the dialogue first.. I try for the latter since I can make more accurate poses, but time is usually my enemy here cos dialogue needs a nice quiet period to write lmao (let's call this step dialogue for now though)
3. Rip sims for blender, make poses, then head in game to dress everyone, set dress and take screenies, I take a LOT and choose the best ones but here're some unedited examples for you... In this case cos there was a flashback, I also had to remake Oscar/fam as a child n' whatnot, but luckily I have their old house saved so I plonked them all in an alternative save to take those.
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4. Now we have our dialogue/screenies, it's time to throw it all together in photoshop, I usually edit the screenie first to fix any clipping etc, fix the lighting, sharpen it up a bit maybe.. but that's about it! Then I press my handy lil (custom made) storyboard action and end up with smth like this, to which I add the text! (this step takes the longest prolly.. cos it takes me forever to pick the screenies I wanna use my GOD 🙈)
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VOILA! Once I've chosen all the screenies in the right order I go thru each of em in PS one by one to edit/add captions, then we're done! \o/
I realise this probably seems quite quick/vague or even streamlined if u wanna toot my horn lmaooo but I've spent a while doing this by now so ig I've kinda figured out the quickest way of doing it - still tho, I'd imagine the above still taking between 4-5 hours from start to finish! I usually spread these things over days/weeks in advance tho like.. during the week I mostly make poses/take screenies and write, then at the weekend I'll usually edit a bunch n' throw it all together, so it doesn't rlly feel tedious since I'm switching it up all the time/doing what I fancy.
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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 6 months ago
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I've listened to the last couple of episodes of the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby show on Radio X, because for the last two weeks it's been the Matthew Crosby and Nish Kumar show, and I really really like listening to Nish Kumar talk. That podcast is one of the few where I've decided I will pick and choose and listen to a few episodes if they have on someone I particularly like, without feeling obligated to listen to every episode (of the few shows that I've set out as exceptions to my completism rule, two are Crosby-based as Pappy's is another one, though I know at some point I will end up going through all of Pappy's Fun Club). And for most of the episodes of the Gamble/Crosby podcast I've heard, the guest who drew me to that episode was Nish Kumar.
I do like listening to Ed Gamble talk as well, it was no slight on him that this week I picked two episodes where he was away (being replaced by Nish) to jump into that radio show. But I think I am getting enough Ed Gamble from other sources right now. Spent yesterday going between the Crosby/Kumar thing, and listening to Ed Gamble... hopefully not really physically attack a guy until he drew blood during a podcast recording in 2008. I mean, I'm pretty sure they were just pretending on that. Hitting something else to make the sound effect. But they put in a lot of fairly believable detail on that lie. I mean. There's no way that was real. Physical assault is an actual crime, and you can't commit crimes on podcasts, even if it's 2007. It had to be a lie. The Ray Peacock Podcast is sure an experience.
Anyway. As I'm getting more than enough Ed Gamble, possibly too much Ed Gamble, from my Ray Peacock Podcast completist run, it was nice to have the much more chill, just jump into an occasional episode of Matthew Crosby on Radio X to balance it out. And these couple were fun. It was also nice to hear from Producer Vin again, who is the best. I have decided he's the best one. He's one-upped Chris Skinner off The Bugle as my favourite in that role.
Anyway, I have dedicated much of this blog before to cataloguing comedian football gossip, so here's some more of it:
I enjoyed that greatly, as I do any clip in the more specific sub-genre of comedian football stories called: Nish Kumar's trash talk:
Of all the comedy events that I don't get to see because of the Atlantic Ocean, those yearly Alex Horne-organized Chicken vs. Egg comedian football matches are pretty high on my list of things I'd most like to see. I see why they don't film those, but I still wish they would.
I love the phrase "Achilles Brain". I might start using that, in real life. There are many terms we use to describe athletes who perform much better in practice than in competition because they struggle with the mental game. My old coach used to call them "head cases", which I found quite offensive, as a person in that category. I guess the term wouldn't necessarily have been offensive if he hadn't specifically meant it in an offensive way. But if you're going to be offensive about it, it's much better to go all the way and be over-the-top offensive for comedic effect about it, and go with Achilles Brain. I'm going to start telling athletes they have to work on their Achilles Brain.
Good chat, Nish. Every time I hear Matthew Crosby talk I'm reminded of how much I like Matthew Crosby. Also, for anyone listening to this without context who may be concerned, I am genuinely sure that Ed Gamble didn't break a guy's nose during a podcast record in 2007. They just fairly convincingly pretended he did. But I do not recommend listening to the Ray Peacock Podcast. It's very funny and I'm hugely enjoying it and I recommend it to absolutely no one.
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beardedmrbean · 2 years ago
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Joe Biden has been slammed as a "dummy" for not following instructions during a military inspection in Poland.
The American president made a surprise trip to Ukraine this week as he visited Ukrainian counterpart Volodymyr Zelensky in Kyiv, and the cameras were out in a big way as Biden then arrived in the Polish capital to make a key speech.
On Monday, he reviewed a military honor guard alongside Polish President Andrzej Duda outside the Presidential Palace as part of a welcoming ceremony. Biden was filmed moving off the red carpet during the inspection, as the Polish president and others guided him back onto it, which was picked up by some on social media.
Taking footage from Ruptly TV, some social media users like Matt Clark of Patriot One News shared a 12-second clip that showed President Biden's awkward moment.
"Oh FFS! Biden can't even follow simple walking directions while inspecting the Guard of Honor in Warsaw, Poland," Clark wrote before addressing the president. "You're supposed to stay ON the red carpet dummy!!"
The footage shows Biden walking alongside Duda on a red carpet wide enough for two people. As they reach the end of the line, they swing around to seemingly walk back the same way, but Biden appears to walk off to the left before he's urged by an aide to walk back the way he came along the carpet.
When one Twitter user pointed out that both presidents are walking off the carpet, Clark replied suggesting that's not the case. "Yeah, to save Joe the embarrassment. The guide literally points to the carpet hoping Joe would get back on it, but NOPE!" he wrote with another crying laughing emoji. Dozens of people commented on Clark's initial post with laughing emojis.
Clark wasn't the only one who was scathing in his assessment of Biden in Poland. "Someone come get their pappy," wrote the Twitter Blue subscriber Matt $RPatriot, as he claimed Biden looked "to be in a state of trance and lost."
"Guys trying to teach Biden how he's supposed to walk on the red carpet and it's not working!" wrote Twitter user @kung_fu_jedim retweeting the video. "What an embarrassment to our country, watching a dementia patient being paraded around like a toddler! The world thinks we're idiots!"
Dozens of people commented on Clark's initial post with laughing emojis.
Others stuck up for 80-year-old Biden during his frantic 48-hour trip to Eastern Europe. NBC Chief Foreign Correspondent Richard Engel commented on Monday night that Biden is "showing a lot of stamina" before listing the details of his journey. "A secret visit to a warzone. Two ten hour train trips. A major speech in Poland. The travel alone would be exhausting," Engel wrote.
However, some Twitter users pointed to the video Clark shared as an example of him not showing great stamina. "You cannot be serious right now," one Twitter user wrote to Engel.
This latest clip of Biden, which was criticized by some, came after many had speculated Biden fell down the stairs of Air Force One after a blurry video showed someone tumbling down the steps. Newsweek confirmed that the person seen falling wasn't the president after a different video, shared to YouTube by ABC News, showed that Biden walked down the steps of the plane without falling.
Biden visited Zelensky in Kyiv on Monday, with the months of security planning only being signed off officially on Friday. The White House social media accounts shared details of how it happened, as he landed in Poland, took a 10-hour train into Kyiv, before leaving again over five hours later.
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obsessiveviewer · 24 days ago
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OV448 - Smile 2 (2024) & Your Monster (2024)
This week, I’m riding solo to review Smile 2 in a non-spoiler and spoiler feature review. Before sharing my thoughts on romance-horror-comedy, Your Monster in a non-spoiler secondary review. I also share some thoughts on some movie news, run down what’s playing this week in Indianapolis theaters, and share micro reviews of Another Happy Day, My Old Ass, and Wolfs.
  Timestamps
Show Start - 00:28
Playing in Indianapolis - 06:00
News - 10:15
  Feature Review
Smile 2 - 15:55
Letterboxd Rant - 46:17
Spoiler - 51:42
  Secondary Review
Your Monster - 1:15:27
   Potpourri
Another Happy Day (2024) - 1:42:44
My Old Ass (2024) - 1:46:41
Wolfs (2024) - 1:52:35
  Closing the Ep - 1:58:18
Patreon Clip - 2:00:00
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No Sleep October: The Silent Night, Deadly Night Franchise - Nick Rogers
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Gimme Toro: Pappy McPoyle - Evan Dossey
Gimme Toro: Blade II - Sam Watermeier 
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OV449 - Here (2024) & We Live in Time (2024)
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  Check out this episode!
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pappypaws · 9 months ago
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Why Pappy Paws Services are Considered the Best in Pet Grooming in Noida
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Pappy Paws stands out as a premier pet care marketplace dedicated to delivering top-notch grooming services for dogs and cats in Noida. Renowned for its commitment to treating pets as cherished family members, Pappy Paws acts as the bridge connecting pet parents with skilled and professional groomers who conveniently bring their expertise directly to clients' doorsteps. This innovative approach ensures a hassle-free and convenient grooming experience, sparing pet owners the need to navigate to a distant salon.
Pappy Paws boasts a comprehensive array of grooming services, encompassing bath and dry, ear cleaning, brush out, and sanitary clipping, all meticulously designed to cater to the distinctive needs of each pet. With an unwavering focus on quality, hygiene, and a team of trained groomers, Pappy Paws has garnered a stellar reputation within Noida's pet care community. The company's steadfast dedication to providing personalised and high-quality grooming services establishes it as a trusted choice for pet parents seeking nothing but the best for their beloved furry companions. 
Pet Grooming in Noida
Pet grooming in Noida involves the process of maintaining the cleanliness, health, and general well-being of pets through various grooming practices. These practices typically include tasks like bathing, brushing, hair trimming, nail clipping, ear cleaning, and other hygiene-related activities. The specific grooming requirements vary based on the type of pet, its breed, coat type, and individual needs.
Professional pet groomers undergo training to handle different animals and address their specific grooming needs. They utilise specialised tools and products to ensure that pets not only appear well-groomed but also remain comfortable and in good health. Beyond the aesthetic benefits, grooming plays a crucial role in preventing health issues such as skin infections, matting, and parasitic infestations.
Pet grooming in noida can be found in grooming salons, pet spas, or can be carried out by individual pet owners at home. Regular grooming sessions are essential for sustaining the overall health and happiness of pets, offering an opportunity to identify and address potential health issues or irregularities.
Why is Pet Grooming important?
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Taking care of your pet is very important, and grooming is a big part of that. Grooming includes things like giving your pet a bath, brushing their fur, trimming their nails, and cleaning their ears. These activities help keep your pet clean and prevent problems like tangled fur, especially for pets with long hair. Grooming is not just about making your pet look nice; it also keeps their skin and fur healthy by spreading natural oils, stops dental issues, and helps find health problems early. When you groom your pet, it's not just about the way they look; it's about spending time together, making them comfortable, and building trust. So, grooming is a really important part of keeping your pet happy and healthy.
Several reasons make Pappy Paws stand out as the best pet grooming service in Noida:
1. Convenience at Home:
The Pappy Paw offers the unique advantage of bringing professional pet grooming services directly to the pet owner's doorstep. This level of convenience sets Pappy Paws apart, making it easier for pet parents in Noida to ensure their fur babies receive high-quality grooming without the hassle of travelling to a pet salon.
2. Personalized Care:
Pappy Paws emphasises treating pets like family members. By having groomers come to the pet's home environment, they can provide personalised care tailored to the specific needs and comfort of each individual pet. This approach ensures a stress-free and comfortable grooming experience for the pets.
3. Comprehensive Grooming Services:
Pappy Paws goes beyond just basic grooming by offering a comprehensive set of services, including bath and dry, ear cleaning, brush out, and sanitary clipping. This holistic approach ensures that every aspect of the pet's grooming needs is addressed, contributing to their overall well-being.
4. Trained and Professional Groomers:
Pappy Paws takes pride in its team of trained and professional groomers. These individuals are skilled in handling pets with care and expertise, ensuring a safe and positive grooming experience. The emphasis on professionalism contributes to the trust pet parents place in Pappy Paws for their furry companions.
5. Quality and Hygiene Standards:
The Pappy Paw maintains high standards of quality and hygiene in its grooming services. From using quality grooming products to maintaining cleanliness during the grooming process, Pappy Paws prioritizes the health and well-being of the pets they care for.
6. Positive Reviews and Reputation:
Positive reviews and a strong reputation within the pet community in Noida contribute to Pappy Paws being considered the best in pet grooming. Word of mouth and satisfied customers play a crucial role in establishing trust and credibility in the pet care industry.
Conclusion:-
Pappy Paws Services is the top choice for pet grooming in Noida. They're known for making it easy by bringing professional groomers right to your doorstep, saving you the trouble of going to a pet salon. Pappy Paws treats pets like family, providing personalised care in the comfort of their own home.
They offer a complete range of grooming services, including baths, ear cleaning, brushing, and more, ensuring every pet's needs are met. Their groomers are well-trained and professional, making sure your pet has a safe and positive grooming experience.
Pappy Paws maintains high standards of cleanliness and uses quality grooming products, prioritizing the health of the pets they care for. With positive reviews and a strong reputation in Noida, Pappy Paws has become the trusted choice for pet grooming in Noida. So, if you want your furry friend to receive top-notch care and attention, Pappy Paws is the go-to service in town.
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soberfructosecornsyrup · 9 months ago
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X-Files, Season 3, Episode 2: Paper Clip
Let's wrap up this three parter, baybeeeeee
Mulder and Scully's family members are dropping like flies.
I can't believe I watched the end of season 2, and was like "I'm gonna wait" because I'm a dude that needs closure on stories and the way season 2 ended and I just said "Welp I'll save this for another day" is not a character trait of mine.
I love the idea that there's a paper trail when shadowy groups are doing massive global conspiracies.
Cancer Man's posse is calling him out
Is Mulder's pappy a nazi?
And he worked with the Cancer Man?
Lol, the FBI Woman
I don't know if I want to keep calling him Cancer Man, probably going to go back to Smoking Man.
Smoking Man is getting real worked up over the DAT tape. That's what you get for lying to your crew
Wonder if Scully will finally start believing. You just saw a stampede of aliens.
Skinner kinda got hands. Didn't expect that. But he's on his second ass whoopin in the three parter.
I didn't even recognize the dude they almost blew up as Mulder's temporary partner from the beginning of season 2 lol. I'm so bad at faces.
This dude is a bootleg Michael Cane.
So dark asking your wife which one you'd miss the least so they'd get abducted.
Smoking Man asking Skinner does he want to know what it's like to die in a plane crash is so lmaooooo
Skinner, you clever sumbitch, having Albert memorize and spread the word about what's on the DAT tape.
RIP Melissa Scully...
A good conclusion to the the arc that's part of the main arc. Not the best but it was good. I'd honestly give it a 4.5 out of 5 (spoilers for two lines down) but I can't cut emoji's in half. Next, looks like we got a young Jack Black in D.P.O.!
Rating: 🛾🛾🛾🛾/🛾🛾🛾🛾🛾
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carrieway · 1 year ago
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im so scared for the last part of limitless sky bc it looks like itll have pappy n harrietts clips n I Was There.......i could be caught in the video n thats a terrifying thought
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manawari · 10 months ago
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Thankie, Leels!
Relationship status: single!!
Favorite color: grey/white/black (yeah, don't judge)
Song(s) stuck in my head: Request by Krage, でも、by Toya Takase, Can't stop loving you by Toya Takase (ft. Emi Noda), Level by txt, & Walk me home by Chelsea Cutler
Last song I listened to: Cruel summer by Taylor Swift, a Japanese cover by Shayne Orok
Dream trip: Switzerland!! Yep, I've always wanted to go there for a long time after seeing so many breathtaking clips and photos. I'd like to go to Greece as well. But if it's within the country, Batanes and Palawan (miraculously, the latter is coming true this May, so that means, another dream trip is coming true for me!)
Last thing I searched: pappi — y'know, those little things in dandelions? I've always been curious.
thank you for the tag @kkomaism <3
Rules: Tag 10 or more people you want to get to know better
Relationship status: not single
Favorite color: pink and blue
Song stuck in my head: Seven by Jungkook
Favorite food: that soup my grandma makes with chinese cabbage, potatoes, carrots and meat and if it has a salty boiled egg oh my god it hits i'm so good nomnom
Last song listened to: uhhhhhh Seven by Jungkook LMAO otherwise I want to end my life by Takayan
Dream trip: like uhhh all over asia! i wanna go back to vietnam at least once, maybe thailand too, travel to taiwan with my friends and being by their side is the best treasure i have in my life, anywhere is a dream trip HAHAHA
Last thing I googled: "crueller" was trying to figure out why my gdocs was telling me to write cruller instead of crueller and wondered if i actually spelt crueller wrong somehow
tagging @yoodokjas @ekanatsume @rusquared @yukarishoodie @lee-hakhyun @headphonemouse and anyone who wants to join <3
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princessphilly · 3 years ago
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A Merry Holiday
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Just a set of vignettes from the couples in the ABAO universe.
In order: Kevin and Marisa (Jelly Donuts and Shorties)
Sidney and Nina (All Bets Are Off)
Jamila (Plain Jane)
CW: grief, covid, angst, fluff
@chara-hugs @newlibrary @huggybearmylove43 @starshine-hockey-girl @himbos-on-ice @pagirl6866 @thighlerseguin @thebookofmags @whatishockey @squidlywiddly87 @t0xickisses2 @joelsfarabee @nugnthopkns @extratragic @shelbsatans @miracleonice87 @myhockeyworld87
There was the biggest hole that couldn’t be filled. Yet, as his heart ached, Kevin smiled and toasted his father-in-law as he wrapped an arm around his wife’s shoulders.
Rich Neroni yelled out, “To Kevin, my favorite son-in-law and my little girl, may this coming year be fruitful. I’m ready for a little bambino or bambina.”
“He’s your only son-in-law,” Marisa interjected, “And it’ll happen when we’re ready.”
Marisa looked at her husband, his eyes pained. She knew what he was thinking. They all missed Jimmy even more at the holidays. Sharing a look with Shelagh, Marisa whispered, “Let’s take a break, babe.”
Easing their way out of dinner, Marisa guided Kevin to one of the quieter rooms. Tonight was the Feast of Seven Fishes and the first time the Hayes and Neroni families had truly been together since their wedding. It had been a couple of years but Marisa knew that Jimmy was missed the most at times like this.
Sitting on her old childhood bed, Kevin pulled Marisa into his lap. Holding her there, they sat for several quiet moments. Then Kevin said, “Jimmy would be excited at our news. He loved his boys so much and he was looking forward to being an uncle to ours.”
Placing a hand on her stomach, still flat, Marisa smiled. “He’s still excited, he’s just excited at being guardian angel uncle up in heaven.”
“I’m not ready to share the news yet.”
“Neither am I. I’ve just taken a few sips of my red. Luckily Jamila is here visiting so no one is going to suspect anything.”
After some more moments of companionable silence, Marisa kissed her husband slow on the lips. “Let me know when you’re ready to go back down. But I need to go pee.”
“Go pee, Risa.”
After his wife got off his lap, Kevin slapped her ass, laughing when Marisa gave him the finger. 
****
Sidney resisted the urge to yell as he saw the clip on ESPN Sportscenter. Yesterday morning, he was just playing with Matt, on the ice at PPG Paints Arena, when Matt scored a goal from mid-ice. Someone had filmed it and sent the tape to ESPN. It was a fluke but there was already people trying to start buzz about his boy being the next one.
Sidney didn’t want to yell. He was ready to kill.
“Relax, Sid, it’ll be fine.”
Sidney looked at his father-in-law. Vernon was looking at the TV as he ate some cashews. As if he could read his mind, Vernon added, “The media isn’t going to burden Matt the way you think. Plus, this fam won’t let it get to him.”
“I had the pressure of being the next one on me from when I was five years old. It was horrible, Mr. Vernon, I don’t want my boy to go through that.”
“Sidney, there’s going to be some pressure on Matty just because he’s your son, no matter what. But what I’m saying is that our family won’t let it get to him the way you’re fearing. Jason has been a huge talent since he was in sixth grade. I’ve seen the vultures and the pressure. We will keep our boys from feeling that pressure, Matty and Jaden.”
As if Vernon spoke him up, Sidney’s nephew came running into the room. “Pappy! Unca Sidy!”
Getting up, Sidney picked up Jaden. “Hey little fella! How are you?”
Jaden pointed to his sweater, a Christmas sweater with a teddy bear and a candy cane. “I got car and blocks unda da tree! And a kitchen and a Lego set-”
“Bragging already, Jae?”
Jason shook his dad’s hand before clapping Sidney on the back. “I’m so glad we played on Thursday night, glad to be home with the family this year.”
“I know that feels good. It feels weird this year not to be flying in. Retirement is weird,” Sidney replied.
“Ahem!”
Everyone’s eyes flew to the doorway of Sidney’s basement mancave. There was Nina, holding a squirming Matthew. “Um, you forgot to say hi to the hostess, Brother.”
Putting her son on the floor, Nina opened her arms wide as Jason hugged her before picking her up. Then he asked, “Where’s Yanni?”
“She’s with Mom, Trina, Troy, Taylor, and Amber. Some of the guys from the team will be coming by later. Get ready to sign autographs and hear about fantasy football.”
Jason laughed as he shared a rueful glance with Sidney. Sidney piped up, “I don’t miss that part.”
Nina sat in the chair next to her father as her son played with her cousin. It was good that they were all together again, for the first time in months. “Also, Jason, can you remind Sid that no one is going to harass our son.”
“I saw that clip, get the person who sent it fired. And don’t worry, the Jacksons are very good at keeping people humble. I mean, let me have any kind of game and I get texts telling me how to improve. No really, relax Sidney and enjoy your retirement without worrying about every little thing.”
That very moment, Matthew and Jaden were playing hockey with the net in the corner. Jaden scored on Matthew and yelled, “I score, I got 1.”
“See, Matthew let a goal in, he’s not the next one,” Nina joked
**
“I still can’t believe you brought this little baby all the way up here.”
Jamila grinned as Myrtle fussed. Maya was curled in her arms, sleeping soundly as her great-grandmother good-naturedly fussed. “She’s so tiny and on an airplane, girl. I don’t know.”
“I rented a private jet, Grandma Myrtle. I wanted to make sure you’d get to see Maya.”
There was a sobering silence. Myrtle was in a wheelchair, the result of a fall that fractured her hip. The surgery was successful and Jamila poured money into making sure Myrtle had the best rehab possible. But it was obvious now that her grandmother was getting older and didn’t have as much time left on this world.
“Don’t worry girl, I’m not going to see my lord until I see you happily married to someone, even this girl’s daddy.”
Jamila snorted and Maya startled. Rocking her slowly, Maya went back to sleep. Myrtle softly smiled before taking a wizened hand and running it over her soft forehead. The baby already had some hair and very dark brown eyes, darker than hers and Jamila. “Maya looks a little bit like your grandfather. She has his nose.”
“Really?”
Jamila sniffled a bit as she looked at her bundle of joy. Stephen Brown had passed away before Jamila had been born but her grandfather had been well-loved in her family. 
“Yes, really. You know I have to fuss but I’m glad to see you this Christmas.”
“Same, Grandma.”
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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 9 months ago
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I feel like too many of my posts lately have been related in some way to some deep emotional personal thing or whatever. Or to 2003. So for something completely different, please enjoy some guys on a Pappy's podcast giving amusing answers in what is, technically, a Mock the Week round.
The whole episode was very funny, I do recommend listening to that whole one to anyone who is interested enough in Pappy's to listen to some of their podcast episodes but picks and chooses for the best ones. I've heard maybe 15 Pappy's episodes total, spread throughout their catalogue, so I don't really know enough about the podcast to be able to say what's a good one. But that one sure made me laugh.
The whole episode was good, but I chose this particular clip to cut out mainly because I enjoyed the fairly accurate lampooning of the Comedian's Comedian podcast (which is of course excellent, and Marc Maron's a dick, and Stuart Goldsmith is a much better interviewer than him, though Stuart Goldsmith is a better interviewer than most people, and most people are better interviewers than Marc Maron). And because they did a Mock the Week round. Even though I think Pappy's is mainly patronized by comedy fans who would (probably accurately) consider themselves too good for TV panel shows. And I find that funny.
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springbandit · 10 months ago
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"Hey genius, while you're on her pappy's payroll, he's your old man." He sneered, laughing at the idea of being chained down to such a strange arrangement. He'd never tie himself down to other people. He'd never be stupid enough to clip his own wings for the benefit of someone else. "You should kill him anyway, just so I don't have to hear about him no more." The constant talk about this other man was making Stu feel jealous, even though he knew he didn't feel like he had a reason to be jealous. It was just more emotion he didn't know what to do with. "You want to bring out my brain? Look, I'm into some unusual things, but, I might have to draw the line there. The last girl I rolled on the ground with tried that, and, it didn't end well for me."
@lcvenderhcze
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"HER OLD MAN. AND WELL, IT'S FUN, ISN'T IT? and besides .. i met her. i despised her almost immediately. the little bitch has it coming." it was no lie to say that cecilia fucking pederson had reminded her of someone that she despised in a strange way and yes, that had made it so she wanted to get rid of her or .. keep her miserable. and yes, she had to admit that it helped that she was being paid for it. right? "NO, HE'S NOTHING TO ME. JUST A PAWN. I'D KILL HIM IF I HAD TO. GOD KNOWS I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT DOING IT PLENTY OF TIMES." it helped that he was so fucking insufferable and that she had considered it plenty of times. right? "i do indeed," she didn't let herself think about what that meant. about what.. she had done. "i think there is, actually. you just need some help bringing it all out. hm?" @springbandit
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victorsandvanquishers · 4 years ago
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Body guard for Secre and Lumiere..., the reincarnation reunion we deserve.....
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Bodyguard is probably the most popular prompt in my inbox, so I’ve decided to combine these two requests into one! Thank you to @icewitcher and anon for the requests!
The fic will include romantic!Secre/Lumiere and Parental!Secre and Asta, as well as background!AsuYuno and background!Charmy/Rill, all under the Bodyguard prompt. Happy reading, and don’t forget to watch Bodyguard, starring Kareena and Salman! (ïŸ‰â—•ăƒźâ—•)*:✧
~~~
Time moved differently with Secre Swallowtail. She hadn't physically aged after being cursed into a antibird, but once she'd regained her body, the crow's feet came as naturally as the longer hair. She still had the ability to transform into an antibird, and had, after retiring from the Black Bulls and leaving Clover Kingdom, chosen to remain a bird for small periods of time. It was easier to travel in her inhuman form. She could eat from the land, and contemplate in privacy.
There were downsides, of course. If she spent too long as an antibird, returning to her human form could mean spending a full day chopping off the overgrown locks, clipping her nails, and trimming the rest of her body hair. Even though she looked largely the same as she did six hundred years ago, the cells in her body continued to regenerate a bounty of beautiful black hair, and glowing skin.
But Secre disliked long hair, and she disliked pretending even more, so she chopped, clipped, and trimmed the years away.
She'd retired from the Black Bulls seven years after the invasion of the Spade Kingdom, and left Clover Kingdom after Asta died peacefully in his sleep at the tender age of ninety-four. The Spade boy he'd married decades earlier had passed away the year before, and Secre had known that it was only time before Asta went to sleep one night and didn't wake up again. The wails from his grown children began while Secre laid flowers on the ageless skull still standing on the outskirts of the village. She, of course, had known he'd passed the night before, but she didn't think it appropriate to wake the whole house at three in the morning just for that. Asta would have hated it.
He was laid to rest next to his husband, the Spade boy who never took up his princely crown, a boy who became a man, and then an old man who passed away from a heart attack in the middle of game of chess Asta was losing miserably.
Asta had cried about the boy being dramatic until the very end, and the wind spirit wept with him, wailing and begging for her Yuno to come back, to take the stinky shorty instead, and Asta cried with her because the Spade boy had meant everything to them, had meant everything to Asta.
She left identical white flowers on all three graves before she flew away – the bleached skull that still stood sentry after all these centuries, and the two graves of the two orphans who went on to become the greatest leaders Clover Kingdom had ever seen.
*
In a way, Lumiere hadn't been wrong. The world was cruel, even unbearable at times, but it still had its merits.
She met new people along the way, ones who sometimes asked too many questions, and some who didn't even say hello, merely passed her a plate of food and turned their attention back to their book, their own food, and once, a window looking out towards a bleached sky and golden fields. It was the kind of peace Secre hadn't ever experienced before, the peace of anonymity, of mutual respect for life, of living and letting live.
With Asta, there had never been a moment of silence. Secre was an observer more than she was a participant. Zagred had thought her foolish for that, and had been sealed away for his arrogance. She was a watcher, a recorder, someone who existed on the fringes of a memory that had long since faded away.
She was a hateful woman, too. No god of any religion would ever forgive her for making the decision to use a poor, magicless child for her own ends. She'd manipulated his despair and his longing, and she'd used it to her advantage. She'd used Asta – and she'd paid for it by losing Lumiere forever.
Secre had made many mistakes in her life, but never one as egregious as that one. That's why she had to atone – that's why she had to stay by his side until he'd perished peacefully.
She still bled, even if the blood was viscous black instead of smooth red. Lumiere had forgiven her for her transgressions, of course, but Lumiere forgave everything, even the genocide of his own brother-in-law's tribe, because Lumiere was barely a person even when he was alive. He'd always been god-like in her eyes, and perhaps that's why she'd been punished, because Lumiere had been human, he'd just been too kind, too dumb, too full of faith for his own good.
And then there was Secre – five hundred years as a bird, and she'd latched onto the first child that reminded her of a dead dream. She wasn't afraid to admit it anymore, of course. She hadn't just chosen Asta because he'd looked useful, but because he'd also looked the way she'd imagined her son would, because Secre was just as bad as Lumiere, had dreamed big dreams, and then lost everything in the process.
A woman who loved a man she couldn't have, and desired to bear children the man would never have given her – that was the unfortunate tragedy of one Secre Swallowtail. Secre had told Yami Sukehiro her story once, and he'd laughed at her, because who the hell cried over spilled milk?
Who, indeed.
Ten years after Asta passed away, she climbed aboard a ship and left the continent.
*
The decades went by, and her names changed. She continued to chop away at the black locks, and kept her nails trimmed and her wardrobe full of muted colors. She didn't return to the continent until a hundred years had passed, once the dragons had returned and the spirits of the sun and sky had finally awoken, and once the dwarves had returned from the deepest parts of the forests. By the time her wings touched the skies above her home continent, a second moon had appeared in the sky, and the elves of the other continents had deemed her continent safe again.
Kings had come and gone, but the great forest remained a deep green. The skull was still bone bleached white by the sun, but now there were more buildings in Hage, and dwarves who traded pelts for tatoes, and children of mixed heritage who didn't have to live in the forests of the Neutral Zone for fear of persecution.
Asta and Yuno's children's children had born and raised their own children, and now their grandchildren ran the farms, and even the schools, and maybe, just maybe she'd encountered one boy with deep red hair who reminded her a little of the Spade boy who'd sobbed freely on his wedding day to her son, her Asta. Names changed, but maybe souls didn't. Maybe souls always remained, maybe the souls of Asta and Yuno were in every single person inhabiting the bustling village that was no longer a village, maybe even the dwarves who'd emerged from the great forest had felt these souls, the souls of the wizard kings who'd married in front of the whole country and led their kingdom into the future.
“Well, well, well – if it isn't little miss songbird herself.”
Secre turned around to face the demon who hadn't made a sound at Asta's funeral, the demon who now walked freely with its black and white skin, and eyes as bloody red as the rubies that used to adorn Lumiere's crown.
“You're still here.”
“Where else would I be?”
Secre didn't answer him, instead turned back to the human and dwarf children squealing and running around a pen full of clucking chickens, daring each other to pet one of the creatures. She'd never experienced this kind of peace, because she hadn't been raised with love and freedom to breathe. She was born to serve, and serve she did until there was no one left to serve.
“That one,” the Anti-Magic Demon pointed to a short, pretty woman with hair as blue as the sky, “is the dwarf girl's daughter with that crazy human that used to paint pictures of everything. The dwarves can live almost as long as us, you know. The old bat is still around here somewhere, but she mostly stays inside now.”
“What are you still doing here? You got what you wanted, remember?”
The Anti-Magic Demon bristled, but didn't budge. “I'm here cuz I wanna be here – why are you back?”
Secre shrugged. “No reason, seemed like as good a time as any.”
Finally the demon went quiet, and Secre exhaled.
*
Before she'd left, she'd blessed Asta and Yuno's grandchildren with small kisses on top of their little foreheads. She didn't have much money to her name, but she had Lumiere's jewels, old and dull, but still good enough for a pawn shop or a merchant. She'd left them to Asta and Yuno's children before she'd left, and now that she'd returned, she'd expected them to have already paid for someone's wedding, maybe even a house. Instead, Secre found the jewels encrusted into busts of Lumiere, Asta, Yuno, and herself.
Secre stared at her doppelganger, unblinking.
“Is that yer mumma,” Secre heard a loud, squeaky voice say. Secre ignored the voice, and continued to stare at the busts.
“Oi! Old lady! Don't ignore me!”
Secre turned her head in a flash, because she was still inhuman, still two steps from becoming a demon like the Anti-Magic Demon and Zagred, and she was mad, she was horrible, and she just wanted to be left alone.
But the little boy with fat cheeks and stocky legs had other plans for her.
“Don't ignore me, Old Lady!” He fumed. Secre balked at the feisty little child, barely two feet tall.
“Don't bother the nice lady,” called a pretty voice, and it was a voice Secre hadn't heard in almost two hundred years, so she whipped around to face her demon, the demon impersonating his voice.
“Pappy, the old lady is a ghost!” The boy squealed, half horror and half amazement etched on his face as his father plucked him off the ground and into his arms.
“That's not very nice,” said a short man with thick frames, dusky colored skin, and Lumiere's voice.
“Oh my god,” the man gushed in awe, and Secre was barely five feet tall, but she had at least half a foot on the dwarf man, the man who had Lumiere's voice, and Lumiere's aura, and his beautiful, glowing smile.
“Pappy, ghost!” The little boy complained again, and Secre wished she could just disappear, maybe she should disappear, because the more she stared, the more the little boy looked too much like Asta, was too loud, and there was a dwarf with Lumiere's soul standing in front of her, and Secre had wished she'd stayed away, far away.
“Are you the esteemed Miss Nero?” The man began again. “Oh my god, you are her! They said you'd return, but no one knew when! My students at the school, they play games with the antibirds, pretending one of them is you! It is you! I can't believe it! We thought you'd never come home! Have you met the Sister at the church? We've been waiting for you! It's really you!!!”
And Secre drowned, drowned in the liquid gold eyes, drowned in the the beautiful smile, the beautiful voice of the dwarf who'd inherited Lumiere's soul.
*
“Well, now you have to stay. Can't sleep with a single man who's just tryna raise his baby in these trying times – if yer gonna taste the forbidden fruit, then commit.”
“Should I be hearing that from you?” Secre snapped back at the demon lounging on a bed of flowers.
“I'm just sayin', little songbird – when you get to my age, you see it all. You want it all, so why not take it?”
“Because they're dead,” Secre concluded. “A moment of weakness doesn't need to turn into a lifetime of regret.”
“Who said you needa regret anything? He loves you, and his kid calls you Ghost Mommy when he thinks you're not listening.”
Secre flinched, because it's true, because she overstayed her welcome, because she gave false hope to a man who's now hopelessly in love with her.
“Don't think of it as use, and be used,” the Anti Magic Demon chuckled harshly, as if reading her mind. “He had a choice too – to choose to ignore you, and to move on with his life, but the minute he saw you, he fell in love. You wanna say no, then say no, but remember – he chose to be with you, and you chose to be with him.”
“Is it them?” Secre whispered.
“Maybe, maybe not. Does it matter?”
“Secre! Secre, are you out there? Dinner's ready!” Called a voice from far away.
“Lumiere couldn't cook for his life,” she whispered hollowly, wiping tears from her cold cheeks.
“And the little brat never disrespected a woman in his life, but the second that little punk saw you, he called you a crusty little ghost. How's that for a reincarnation?”
“Bird Lady, dinner is ready!” The little boy with the fat cheeks and stumpy little legs screeched louder than Asta ever did, and she cried, she cried because she missed her Lumiere, and she missed the magicless little boy she grew to care for like a son.
“See, little songbird,” the Anti-Magic Demon whispered, sliding closer, so close that he was mere inches from her crying face, its own eyes hollow and cold and lonely, “after a while, it doesn't matter anymore. After a while, we die too, and death – it's a cold, lonely affair. You got nothing to lose.”
“Bird lady?” The little boy called hesitantly, staying some feet back, because the Anti-Magic Demon was the village watcher, the wraith that simultaneously protected and scared the living daylights out of the creatures living in Hage.
Secre wiped the tears from her face and climbed to her feet. “I'll be right there,” she called back, and the little boy nodded once before shooting back to the little house they called home.
“You found your home,” Secre surmised.
The Anti-Magic Demon hummed in response, laying back against the flowers, eyes fixed on the twin moons in the sky.
“Home,” Secre repeated to herself as she made her way back to her little house with her two little dwarves.
It seemed she'd finally found one as well.
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shootingcookielover · 5 years ago
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I did a thing
I couldn't stop myself so I wrote some Royaliceit angst/comfort
Is that the correct terminology-
Anyway. Description:
Deceit is sick of Patton lying to himself and Roman pops in at some point, too, because he was around and heard crying.
I'm bad at descriptions. Or summaries. Or whatever they're called.
Warnings: Uh, Idk. Patton thinks badly about himself and there's like some impersonation and a bit of mean lying from Deceit? I'm also bad at Warnings, apparently. If you notice anything, tell me and I'll put it here.
Characters: Patton, Deceit, Roman and Deceit kinda shapeshifts into Virgil and Logan at one point, uh, Remus is mentioned
Pairings: Royaliceit but maybe not quite? It's not really an official relationship at this point, I guess it's platonic? Honestly don't know at what point a relationship goes from platonic to romantic
Hope you enjoy! Hope it's not too bad!
Patton sank down on his bed.
He didn’t like this. None of this. His room was too empty, too quiet, too
 him.
It reflected him too much, bounced his emotions right back at him, it was like the room took his head and shoved his face into everything Patton didn’t want to think about.
The first tear fell unnoticed.
He was useless, he was making Thomas feel bad. He was making everything worse, he was annoying and stupid and- and-
Everyone hated him!
The second tear was quickly wiped from his face as he stood up. He didn’t feel like sitting anymore, there was a restlessness in his legs that brought him to the mirror on the wall. Pictures were clipped onto it, held aloft by magnets.
Pictures of him and his famILY.
Of Roman and Logan and Virgil. Of days spent together laughing. Having fun.
Patton bit his lip, trying to stifle the sobs wanting to escape him.
He was fine. Just one look at the pictures confirmed it; his life was great, he had no right to be upset.
His famILY loved him, he loved them. They were famILY.
Even a look into the mirror itself was enough to come to the conclusion; Patton was fine. Happy-pappy Patton!
He was smiling after all, and those tears could only be happy ones!
Because he was okay. His life was too good to be upset about things.
His hands curled into fists nonetheless. A quiet hiccup left his throat and this time he bit down on his fist to stifle the sound.
He was fine!
“You know, before I couldn’t do much, but now?”
Patton whirled around. Deceit was sitting on his bed, one leg crossed over the other.
“I am capable of so much more.”, the lying side stood up in one fluid motion.
He reminded Patton much more of a snake, in moments like these.
The moral side stumbled back, hitting the mirror behind him and wincing in light pain as Deceit advanced towards him. There was something predatory about the way the lying side moved.
So deliberate and calm, as if he knew his prey was trapped and he was only playing around, waiting for it to tire itself out before striking.
“W- what do you mean?”, Patton choked out. His emotions were surrounding him like a tornado, an invisible force that tore him apart from the inside.
Fear was the most prevalent at the moment.
Deceit stopped when he was barely an inch away from Patton.
The lying side might not have been as tall as the moral one, but the dangerous glint in his eyes, the menacing shine of his scales and the threatening length of his canines was enough to make Patton feel as though Deceit were towering over him.
“Your lies, Patton.”, Deceit replied. His voice was smooth as always, slick and easy to fall for. “They reek. I’ve been smelling them for so long now...”
Deceit reached up and Patton could feel himself freeze up. The fear made his heart beat faster, the terror in his eyes was overwhelming.
But all the lying side did, was push a stray strand of hair behind Patton’s ear, careful not to upset his glasses.
“But I can finally come forward. My dearest Patton, whyever do you feel the need to lie to yourself?”
The moral side had no time to respond as Deceit stepped back, just enough that Patton felt he could breath again.
“And, perhaps more importantly, to your oh so precious family?”
For the first time since he’d appeared, Deceit’s eyes strayed from Patton to the pictures on the mirror behind him. There was a small crease forming between the lying side’s eyebrows and Patton almost wanted to reach out and smooth it down. Almost.
“W- what are you talking about?”, Patton asked, forcing as much cheer into his voice as he could. It still came out shaky, but it was convincing enough in his opinion. “I don’t- I’d never lie to my kiddos!”
Suddenly Deceit was so close to him again. His face was almost touching the moral sides.
Patton could see the lying sides forked tongue, flicking out, as if to taste the air. The frown on Deceit’s face was easier to see now.
“Don’t”, he hissed, before seemingly getting himself back under control. “You can’t lie to me, Patton.”
The hand was back again, this time laying gently against Patton’s cheek.
The moral side wanted to lean into it, to fall forward and be comforted, but this was Deceit.
Patton batted away the hand. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, kiddo.”
Deceit backed up again, some more this time, leaving Patton enough space to step away from the mirror.
“Of course you don’t.”, the lying side sneered. “Because you’re happy, aren’t you, Patton?”
The moral side startled as he heard Virgil’s voice and saw not the snake but his strange, dark son. “What are you-“
“I may not know about emotions or have any, for that matter, but I will assist you however I can.”, this time it was Logan and it looked so wrong, seeing him slither closer, like the venomous snake Deceit was.
“Padre, you look positively horrible! What happened?! Is there a fiend in need of slaying?!”, Roman stood so close to Patton, he could see the red dots in his green eyes.
The tears were back and Patton choked down a sob. “S- stop-!”
“You know you can tell us everything, right?”, Deceit was so close.
He looked and sounded so much like Virgil.
Another choked sob freed itself from Patton’s throat.
“I- I know!”, the statement almost sounded broken. Patton’s eyes sank closed, tears still running free. “I- I’m s-sorry! I didn’t
 I didn’t want to lie to you!”
He knew he was being dumb, that it was just Deceit in the room with him, but the admission felt so, so good, like a weight being lifted from his shoulders.
His eyes slowly opened again, though he didn’t dare look at Deceit. “
I didn’t want to burden you with my
 my problems.”
A quiet sigh and there was again a hand, on Patton’s shoulder this time. “Your problems could never be a burden to us, Padre! Don’t you know that? We care about you. You’re important to us. We want to help you.”
The moral side felt his chest constrict. He looked at Roman with mistrust in his eyes, yet such a desperate need to believe what the creative side was saying.
Except it wasn’t the creative side.
It was Deceit.
Patton gave a wet laugh, pushing through his tears. He wiped them quickly. “Y- you’ve i- improved, Deceit!”, he complimented, trying to hold onto some form of composure.
Patton sniffed, wiping at his face some more.
Roman looked confused. Then he glanced over his shoulder.
Patton followed the gaze and found
 Deceit.
In all his glory standing behind them. He was leaning against the wall, a bitter smirk on his lips. He gave Patton a tiny wave.
“B- but-“, Patton sputtered, his eyes focused on Roman again.
The creative side smiled. “It’s actually me, Padre.”
The tears were back.
The moral side slumped forward against Roman, burying his head in the creative side’s shoulder.
Roman threaded his hand through Patton’s hair carefully. “Why did you lie to us, Patton?”, the creative side asked, voice low. “We want to help you, but we can’t if you don’t talk to us.”
Patton sniffled. His eyes were closed again and his glasses were pressing against his face uncomfortably. At this point they were probably so smudged he wouldn’t be able to see anything even if he did open his eyes.
“My
 my life is good.”, the moral side mumbled, holding onto Roman for dear life. “I- I shouldn’t- I don’t- I can’t have problems! I- I h- have it s- so much better than- than others and yet—“, Patton stopped himself, instead breaking out into more sobs.
Roman hushed him quietly, rubbing soothing circles into his back. “It’s okay, Patton.”, he reassured. “You can have problems. Your problems aren’t any less valid than other people’s. It’s okay.”
The two of them somehow ended up on Patton’s bed with the moral side in Roman’s lap.
Just as the moral side managed to calm down a little, Deceit spoke up again.
“Well then.”, the lying side said, “I accomplished what I came here to do. See you never.”
He was about to sink out, when Patton cried: “Wait!”
Deceit stopped mid-sink-out. He raised one eyebrow at the moral side. “What? Any other lies you need me to coax out of you?”
Patton was still busily wiping his face, but there was a blush slowly creeping up his neck. “N- no
 I just
 wanted to thank- thank you.”
“Ah, well, if that’s everything.”, Deceit took off his hat, showing beautiful, curly brown hair, and bowed. “It was my pleasure. Now-“
“Deceit?”, Patton cut off. He had scooted down from Roman’s lap who was watching the exchange curiously. “D- do you
 uhm
”, Patton was blushing harder now.
“Do I what, Patton? As much as I enjoy uncovering lies, I do have a tight schedule.”
“A- ah, then maybe not
”, the moral side conceded, head low, eyes averted.
Roman shot Deceit a look. The creative side gestured at Patton and the lying side had hung around Remus enough to understand it meant: “What are you doing you moron you’re being a socially inept asshole again!”
Deceit sighed. He wanted to help, he really did, but the ‘light sides’ (delightful name) simply didn’t make any sense to him. Sure he could replicate their mannerisms, but why they acted like that in the first place? He had never been able to grasp it.
“Fine. Patton, what is it. As it turns out my schedule just cleared up.”
Patton shook his head. “N- no, if you have something else-“
Deceit cut him off. “Patton, just tell me. I’m here because I don’t want to help and you’re not making it difficult at all.”
Roman shot him another glare, but Deceit ignored the creative side in favor of Patton who looked up at him almost shyly.
“O- okay, if- if you w-want to
 m-maybe
 could you
 stayhereandcuddlewithus?”
Patton squeezed his eyes shut, anxious about Deceit’s answer. He’d asked.
The lying side was sure to turn him down, to call him a weirdo and sink out.
A hand was placed under Patton’s chin. His head was lifted gently and the moral side’s eyes met the bewildered ones of Deceit.
“You want to cuddle with me?”, he asked.
“Y-yeah, I mean
”, Patton tried his best to avoid looking into the other’s eyes, which was hard considering their proximity. “Y-you have s-six arms right? So y- you must be am- amazing at cuddles and- and also you’re a snake and snakes need heat right, so I thought it made sense-“
He was rambling. The moral side cut himself off as soon as he realized, chancing a glance at Deceit.
The lying side looked even more baffled, but slowly, a smile worked it’s way onto his face. “I would hate to cuddle with you.”
Patton beamed at Deceit and immediately surged forward, wrapping his arms around the other side’s torso. His face was smushed against the lying side’s shirt and his glasses were really in the way now.
“Splendid!”
Roman tackle-hugged the other two sides.
Somehow the three of them ended up laying on Patton’s bed. Deceit was in the middle with Roman and Patton snuggling up to him.
Patton had been right; the six arms were incredible at cuddling.
The moral side in question had fallen asleep by now, his glasses securely on a nearby nightstand.
Roman, meanwhile, was still awake. He looked up at Deceit with an almost confused gaze, though it was interlaced by something akin to awe.
The lying side’s eyes moved from Patton to Roman. “Something wrong?”
His voice was even more wonderful when he talked so low, a soothing deep rumble that made Roman feel much better than he had in a while. “No.”, the creative side admitted.
He was still staring up at Deceit who raised an eyebrow.
“Well then why aren’t you staring?”
Roman huffed, a content smile on his face. He himself was on the cusp of falling asleep, his eyes already drooping, though he didn’t want them to.
“You’re just so beautiful.”
The creative side didn’t see or hear Deceit’s reaction.
Roman and Patton awoke the next morning to only each other.
Confused, Patton sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Where’s Deceit?”
Roman yawned and stretched. He hadn’t slept this good in a while. “Dunno. He did say he had a tight schedule, I suppose.”
Patton sighed. “He’s a great cuddler.”
Roman nodded wistfully. “Yeah.”
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blogging-time · 5 years ago
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Mealybugs
Send me a random word and I will attempt to write a Hurt/Comfort Fic containing/based on it. My Fic Masterlist
Word: Sick - Submitted by @3amthebitchinghour! 
Summary: Roman couldn’t deny the fact that he’d found Patton’s seemingly unjustified concern to be somewhat endearing at first... but now things were quickly getting out of hand...
If only Roman had known why Patton felt so protective over him, it could have saved the pair oh-so much heartache. 
Warnings: Mild illness/fever. Very brief Remus mention.
Pairings: Platonic Royality. (Can be interpreted as romantic.)
Word Count: 3,595
~ ~ ~
Roman couldn’t deny the fact that he’d found Patton’s seemingly unjustified concern to be somewhat endearing at first. Despite his well-sown fear of appearing both feeble and childish, there was just something about the dad Side’s ever-blossoming kindness that chipped away at the prince’s protective thorns until he was nothing more than a delicate collection of crimson rose petals in the botanist’s careful hands.
Perhaps to Patton, Roman was little more than a single clipped rose, powerless to fight off the tender love and care that he had deemed the prince beautiful enough to be deserving of. Still, Roman had enjoyed every last moment he’d spent simply being a part of his friend’s heavenly garden. Every day he’d let his roots embed themselves further and further into the soil until there was seemingly no moving him, and every day his friend would come by to perform his routine check-up.
“It’s always a pleasure to see you flourishing, kiddo!” his friend would chirp with a carefree smile.
But even the most attentive of botanists will one day see their flowers wilt. Even the most well-tended gardens can become victims of disease. And when this happens, perhaps one of the worst things you can possibly do for an already suffering rose is overwater it.
In the beginning, the whole thing had seemed as innocent as a timid field mouse cautiously poking its head up to greet the cold evening breeze. True, you typically wouldn’t want to see any type of rodent rummaging around in your garden, but there had just been something so careful and genuine in Patton’s eyes that had made the man seem far sweeter than any succulent berry he could possibly steal away.
Besides, Patton had been Roman’s faithful botanist, not some common thief. The prince knew there was nothing in this world that his friend would intentionally deprive him of. However, the intention doesn’t always match the outcome, and one simple observation was all it took to set off a rather unfortunate series of events.
~ ~ ~
“Oh, kiddo
 you’re sick,” Patton had commented, concern dripping from his voice like melted ice-cream.
“Oh, Padre, you’re too kind,” Roman had joked back, hoping against all odds that he could bury the dad Side’s concern with his quick wit.
But Patton’s heart was not so easily satisfied.
“What in Thomas’ name do you think you’re doing out of bed? You should be resting.”
The prince sighed before answering, “It’s just a passing cold, Patty-cakes. There’s no need for you to be getting your buns in such a twist.”
“You leave my buns out of this, little mister,” Patton countered, taking a step forward and gently placing his hand on the ill man’s already damp forehead.
Looking back, perhaps the moment Roman instinctively let himself melt into the touch of the moral Side’s cool hand was the moment he’d sealed his fate.
The botanist’s persistent supervision began not long after that.
~ ~ ~
It had all started with a humble offering of chicken soup.
“Now you just lie here, Roman, and I’ll serve you up one of my very own Patton-patented pawsitively palatable poultry plates in just one moment!”
“Now look who’s paid a visit to the alliteration station!”
Then came the many cutesy looking coffee mugs, almost all of which contained some different variation of Healthline’s ‘Top 10 Healthiest Herbal Teas You Just Have to Try!’
“As the wise Uncle Iroh once said: Sharing tea with a fascinating stranger is one of life’s true delights!”
“Padre
 we’ve known each other for almost thirty years.”
“And yet this dashing prince simply never fails to fascinate me!”
And who could forget all of those simple yet tedious everyday tasks that Patton had offered to fulfil in Roman’s steed?
“Oh, most sweet and noble knight of mine
 are you absolutely certain that this quest I have assigned to you won’t prove itself far too time-consuming or demanding?”
The moral Side chuckled faintly at that.
“My liege, I can assure you there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll see to it that Master Thomas gets his chance to rehearse this afternoon, and that the last of the required props are picked up from Ye Olde Hobby Lobby in plenty of time for supper!”
“You have my eternal gratitude.”
“And you, my tissues.”
One could easily argue that the feverish prince had been entirely too willing to comply with the botanist’s generous wishes during those first two days, but how was he to know just how overbearing his friend would become over the course of the next seventy-two hours?
It had all started with Patton’s refusal to let Roman prepare his own toast.
“It’s just a simple slice of toast, Doctor Ramsay,” Roman bantered, “And if it’s any consolation I’ll promise not to cut the bread with my sword this time – Prince’s Honour!”
“Kiddo, you shouldn’t be handling food at all while you’re not well; that’s how you end up spreading germs.”
“To whom? Myself?”
“You never know, Roman. Please
 just leave all of the cooking to me for now. I can have everything done within five minutes.”
Then came the many unnecessary yet incessant visits to Roman’s room that Patton would make throughout the day.
“Knock, knock!”
“Oh, I wonder who could possibly be there?” Roman drawled.
Patton giggled weakly at that.
“Just your happy-chappy pappy checking up on someone sappy!”
“Somehow I don’t think I’m the sappy one here, Patton.”
And how could Roman ever overlook the fact that he’d practically been put on strict bedrest for multiple days when there were so many other things he’d rather be doing to elevate his growing boredom?
“Listen, nurse
 I understand you’re just trying to look out for me, but I can’t see any good reason as to why I shouldn’t be allowed to go and play ‘Mario Kart’ with the court jester. I feel like I’ve done nothing these past few days, and besides, my temperature barely even meets the criteria for a fever anymore.”
“First of all, we’ve already spoken about you referring to Virgil as the ‘court jester.’ Second of all, the reason your health has been improving is because you’ve taken the time to do nothing. Thirdly, Roman you’re far too competitive to be playing videogames right now. You’ll just end up psyching yourself up too much and making your headache so much worse.”
The prince had done his best to tolerate this sort of treatment for five whole days before allowing himself to finally admit the obvious: Patton wasn’t his knight in shining armour; he was the dragon-witch responsible for keeping him locked up in a tower.
He knew confrontation was inevitable if he wanted to see the outside world again anytime soon - Too long now had he been kept inside of a restrictive vase as opposed to an open flowerbed. Still, going into the discussion, Roman had downright dreaded dealing with the resistance he would surely be met with from his fellow Side. Of course, he knew the moral Side would never be mad at him for standing his ground, but if he didn’t want his friend to worry then he felt he’d still have to prepare a solid rebuttal.
The creative Side had braced himself for his moral counterpart’s troubling frown. He’d fully anticipated his friend’s most frequently recycled justifications and prepared what he considered to be an adequate counterargument for each. Heck, the prince had even taken the liberty of preparing an evidence casefile should the dad Side ever demand to see proof of his ongoing recovery.
“Behold! The piece of evidence that clearly contradicts the witness’ testimony!” Roman rehearsed, finger pointing rather dramatically at his bedroom mirror, “If you take a good look at this thermometer, you’ll see that my temperature read as 98.6F this morning. Mr Sanders, you claimed I couldn’t leave the room for as long as I have a fever, but this device clearly shows I now have a perfectly normal body temperature!”
Undoubtedly Roman had done enough preparation to ensure that even a man as tight-lipped as Logan couldn’t help but feel proud of his work. If only history had been kind enough to repeat itself, then perhaps the creative Side could have even found himself standing in the middle of another ‘Sherlock Holmes Fan-Fic’ type situation.
However, there had been one rather unfortunate series of developments that the prince had not fully fortified himself for – one that had proven itself to be far more regrettable than unlikely, and one that the prince would have no choice but to embrace as he failed to sway the conversation back in his favour.
For within mere minutes of opening his carefully planned, well-constructed and adequately researched argument, both the poor over-watered wilting rose, and his apparently not-so-attentive botanist had completely abandoned their cool demeanours in exchange for a far more contentious persona.
“Roman, please, just be reasonable,” the dad Side pleaded, arms outstretched in a halting motion as he took yet another step back towards Roman’s doorway.
“Oh, my stars!” the aforementioned Side proclaimed incredulously, “Do my ears deceive me? Or is that truly ‘The Hypocrite of the West Coast’ sincerely asking me to be more reasonable?”
Had the man standing before the prince been anyone but his favourite fatherly figure, then surely he would have pressed him on the long sigh he just let out.
“Kiddo, I understand why you’re upset, but you know I’d never try to deter you like this if I didn’t think it was absolutely necessary. I hate seeing you cooped up in here just as much as you do!”
“Then why won’t you set me free?”
“Because I believe-”
“Oh yes, because you believe it’s the right thing to do, don’t you? That’s always what it seems to come down to at the end of the day! Everything in the entire Thomas-sphere has to revolve around what Morality thinks is right and wrong! Honestly, what have the rest of us ever done to deserve a seat at the table?”
The moral Side’s entire body seemed to tense at that, his breath hitching as though he were trying to force some unsavoury words back down his own agitated throat. Tears were now threatening to spill from the corners of his eyes, yet his gaze remained almost perfectly fixed.
“Roman
”
“No! I don’t want to hear it, Pat! I’m sick and tired of listening to what you have to say!”
“You’re sick and tired, full stop, Roman! Please, you should really just go back to bed while I-”
“While you do what, Patton? Are you planning on tucking me back into bed again? Perhaps you could infantilise me even further by reading me another bedtime story, or- Oh! I know! Why don’t you go and prepare me yet another bowl of your infamous chicken soup? I’m not sure the first couple-hundred bowls have made me entirely anti-poultry yet!”
Undoubtedly, hunched up shoulders and pointedly narrowed eyes weren’t a particularly good look on the usually oh-so-cheery dad Side, but he simply couldn’t help the fact that his composure was shrivelling up so fast.
“If you really want to get me out of your hair so badly, then why won’t you just let me take care of you? The sooner I can get you healthy again, the sooner I can leave you to your own devices!”
“Because it’s not your job to take care of me, padre!” the prince snapped back, this time sounding utterly exasperated. “I’m not some delicate little flower that you should feel obligated to attend to! You’re not my designated botanist! You
 You know what you are? What you really are, Pat? You’re just some aggravating little mealybug that’s latched onto my leaves that now adamantly refuses to let go! You’re sucking the life out of me, Pat, and it’s causing me to wilt! How on Earth do you expect me to stand it?”
With those words, the last of the moral Side’s composure finally slipped away.
“I don’t know, Roman! How do you expect me to cope with losing Creativity again?”
The words had come barrelling out of his mouth before he could even think to stop himself, and the tears don’t fall too far behind.
The room fell completely silent in an instant, bar the sound of the dad Side’s sombre hiccups.
Try as Patton might, he genuinely couldn’t help the feeling that he was being cruelly suffocated and torn apart from the inside. It felt as though someone had forced him to swallow an entire packet of dandelion seeds, and now the unwelcome plant was blooming, stems sprouting painfully from the pit of his stomach before forcing its way up through his throat, and finally bursting out dramatically from his silently screaming mouth. It seemed that no matter how hard the botanist had tried to suppress this unruly weed, the truth was always destined to come to light in some horrific way.
“Patton
?” Roman hesitantly asked, his previous shouting voice having been replaced by an almost-whisper.
The man in question only let a single choked sob escape before continuing to speak

“
He was just like you, you know
” he blurted out, voice sounding unnaturally strained from trying to suppress his own emotions. His eyes were now utterly transfixed on the floor, almost as if he were willing it to magically open up and swallow him whole.
The prince audibly gulped as he mentally prepared himself for the question he’d inevitably have to ask, regardless of whether or not he already knew the answer.
“Who was, Pat?”
Another choked sob escaped; this time followed by a long, shaky, uneven breath. The question seemed to hang in the air far too uncomfortably for far too long as one Side watched the other pathetically curl in on himself.
“The King,” Patton eventually rasped out, words slicing through the tension in the air so swiftly and so grotesquely they almost seemed to mimic the actions of a rusty lawn mower blade.
Roman could practically hear the machine whirring around inside his head.
“He told us all it was just a cold – That he’d be perfectly fine if we just left him alone for a few hours
”
“Patton
”
“He told us all to just go out and play
 He promised us he’d come and join us as soon as he was feeling better
 At the time none of us even realised that would be our last chance to run around in the garden together
 Our last chance to marvel at the early Spring flowers together
 Our last chance to weave intricate little flower crowns together with the King
 and so we missed it
 We missed our final chance to say ‘goodbye’ and then he was just
 gone
”
As the well finally overflooded, allowing for two long streams to suddenly pour down the older Side’s fiercely flushed face, the young prince swore he could feel his own still beating heart immediately split in two.
“Patton,” he tried again, “Surely you don’t blame yourself for any of that. I highly doubt there’s anything you could have done to prevent such a fate from befalling the old Creativity – and even if there had have been, you couldn’t have possibly known any better!”
“I could have been by his side!” Patton snapped back, punctuating his words by gripping his upper arms even tighter. “I knew one of my friends was sick and I did nothing to help him! Worse than that, Roman, I left him alone to play hopscotch.”
“Darling, it’s not your fault for having such faith in an old friend. He was the one who told you to give him some space! You were only doing what was asked of you!”
A sudden wave of realisation swiftly struck down the prince’s confidence the moment he heard those words aloud.
“Oh, my dear little heart
” he cooed as he watched his shaking friend visibly shrink. “I’m so sorry, Pat
 I didn’t mean to-”
“No
 No, you don’t have anything to apologise for
” Patton sniffled as he tried to stand up properly. “I
 I understand I may have been a bit
 overbearing these past few days, but I
” He was getting choked up again. “I
 I just couldn’t risk losing Creativity again
 I couldn’t risk losing you. I love you so much, kiddo, and I genuinely don’t know what I would do if I ever-”
Roman decided to silence that oncoming tangent by abruptly pulling his spiralling friend into a warm embrace. Perhaps the experience would have been a little more pleasant had his own body not decided to start trembling mere moments ago, but none of that seemed to matter as the dad Side slowly melted into his soothing touch.
“Do you want me to let you in on a special little secret, padre?”
The dad Side merely nodded his response into the crook of the prince’s neck, causing the slightly calmer man to let out a faint chuckle.
“The truth is
 when I first appeared here in the mindscape, I really didn’t know much at all about
 well
 anything! Sure, I had a decent enough hold on what sort of things inspired Thomas, what stories he wanted to tell and how he wanted to go about telling them
 but when it came to Thomas’ internal ‘Breakfast Club’ I was almost completely at a loss! By all accounts your quizzical looks should have made me feel like a Roman gladiator thrown haphazardly into a colosseum without so much as a broken stick to defend myself!”
“I’m sorry if any of us startled you
” came a muffled response.
“But that’s the thing, Pat,” Roman recounted with a kind smile, “None of you ever did
 In fact, from the very first moment I ever laid my dazzling eyes upon all of your startled yet adorable – if not slightly nerdy – faces, I honestly never felt anything but
 safe, secure
 welcome, even! Now I know that may not make much sense at first given how little I actually knew you all at the time, but I happen to have my own little working theory as to why I felt that way. Would you like me to share it with you?”    
That question was apparently enough to make the dad Side look up from where he had been nuzzling his tear-soaked face into his friend’s now admittedly rather damp shoulder. The sight of his puffy eyes alone was enough to make Roman want to tear off his own crimson rose petals and use them as an overly extravagant tissue on the botanist’s grief-stricken visage.
Alas, a small piece of his velvety sash would have to suffice for now.
“Please,” Patton tentatively begged as the prince carefully wiped away at his cheeks.
“I reckon it’s because the Creativity you once knew never truly left. Even if I didn’t maintain the vast majority of his memories, I vehemently believe that all of those otherwise inexplicable feelings were the by-product of him having once loved all of you. He never felt betrayed
 He never felt lonely
 He never felt as though you let him down, padre, because it’s abundantly clear didn’t.”
“But how can you be so sure his feelings never changed?”
“I don’t know, my own little Patton-ted Piglet
 How can you be so sure they ever did?”
Something in the moral Side’s expression seemed to change in that moment
 Something subtle yet unmistakable that let Roman know he’d finally gotten through to the man.
It was only a matter of time before a contented smile had taken place on both of their blushing faces.
“I suppose I never really thought of it that way
” Patton sheepishly admitted.
“Yet you’d dare to entertain the thought that your dashing prince would ever leave you?”
The creative Side had fully intended for his sentiment to come across as light-hearted. Rather unfortunately for him, it appeared his words only served to make the dad Side feel more guilty.  
“I’m sorry for blowing up at you like that earlier, kiddo
 and I’m sorry if my paranoia ever made me act unfairly towards you
 I guess I just let my parental instincts get the better of me sometimes
”
“I’ll consider it all water under the bridge so long as you promise not to tell Teach I had to take a leaf out of his book today,” Roman joked, earning a stifled burst of heartfelt giggling from his now slightly more chipper and upbeat friend.
When the laughter eventually subsided, the dad Side decided to take a step back and get a better look at Roman, consequently breaking the embrace as he did so.
“I can’t tell if you acting all logical is supposed to be a sign that your health is improving or deteriorating,” he playfully teased.
“Well whichever one of the two it is, I just hope all of this exposure you’ve had to my sorry-self over these past few days hasn’t been enough to infect you.”
“Oh, Roman, I hate to tell you this, but I was already sick,” Patton merrily admitted after only a brief pause.
“What?” the prince dramatically exclaimed, voice suddenly sounding perturbed. “Oh, padre
 Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well? We need to get you tucked into bed with some medicine and a bowl of chicken soup right away!”
Although Morality had tried to contain their mildly inappropriate giggling, he simply couldn’t help but be amused by the irony behind Creativity’s words.
“I’m afraid there won’t be any need for that,” he giddily reassured, “After all, doctors say there’s still no known cure for love-sickness!”
~ ~ ~
General Tag-List:
@lunamay2006, @not-so-innocent-bi-sander, @saphael-malec102, @anastasialestina
Note: It’s been a long time since I’ve posted a fic, so this tag-list may be a little outdated. If at any point you want to be added/removed from my tag-list then feel free to let me know!
Secondary Note: I may come back and edit the ending a little at a later date. This fic had been sitting in my WIP’s for far too long, so I’m worried it may have come across as rushed due to the fact I really wanted it to be completed.
As always, feedback is much appreciated! I was very out of practice and sleep-deprived here, so I’m sure I’d benefit a lot from constructive criticism! I hope you’re all having a fan-der-tastic day!
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incorrect-egos-quotes · 6 years ago
Note
Yo! Do you think you could make a list of all of the egos, who they belong to, and a sentence about their origin. I know all the Jacksepticeye ones but I’m getting lost with the rest
Yeah sure! I’m sorry if I end up forgetting one though (I usually forget one).
Markiplier:
Darkiplier: Dark is one of the main egos on Mark’s channel and I think the oldest. His official origin is in Who Killed Markiplier? but I think the first video was Don’t Blink in June of 2012. He’s involved in a ton of other videos like A Date With Markiplier, some of the van videos, Markiplier TV, Dark vs. Anti, and, more recently, go back to sleep.
Wilford Warfstache: Wilford is the other main ego on Mark’s channel. His origin is also in Who Killed Markiplier? but also branches out in Wilford ‘MOTHERLOVING’ Warfstache. He’s also involved in Warfstache Interviews Markiplier, The Ned Affair, and The Warfstache Affair. 
Silver Shepherd: Silver’s one of the egos made with Cyndago. He’s a goofy superhero starring in Super Infidelity with his sidekick Ibis and it’s all ridiculously funny. (You can also spot him in Markiplier TV but all of them are in Markiplier TV I think.)
Bim Trimmer: Bim, another Cyndago ego, is an insane game show host from Hire My Ass who’s in love with Matthias 
Googleiplier: Google is the human-version of Google. His primary objective is to answer all questions as fast as possible. His secondary objective is to destroy all mankind. He stars in Google IRL, Google Gets An Upgrade, and Mark’s 360 Let’s Play Minecraft video. 
Bingiplier: Bing is the human version of Bing. Seriously, imagine Bing as a person and that’s it. He also stars in Google Gets An Upgrade.
King of the Squirrels: The name is pretty self-explanatory. He’s the king of the squirrels. He’s also covered in peanut butter (so the squirrels can lick it off obviously). His first appearance was in King of the Squirrels and the follow-up King of the Squirrels Returns.
The Host: Also known as The Author, he is a writer and narrates everything. Anything he narrates happens. He knows what he’s doing. He stars in Danger in Fiction and Danger in Fiction: Chapter II. I don’t think it’s ever explained why he has no eyes but yeah. He has no eyes.
Yandereplier: Yandere stars mainly in the Yandere Simulator series but isn’t all that big of an ego.
Eric Derekson: Eric is a new one from Mark’s Christmas charity Livestream where he nervously tries to sell Mark’s merch for charity while being yelled at by his father, Derek Derekson. He has no feet and all of his brothers are dead.
Derek Derekson: He is Eric’s dad who wishes he had anyone other than Eric still in his life so he can have a legacy to look forward to and just an all around unpleasant person. He also stars in the charity livestream, although I’m sure you could find playlists with clips of them.
The Jims: The Jims are ridiculous reporters that are all named Jim. All of them. They run Jim News and report on all of the WKM shenanigans. 
Dr. Iplier: Dr. Iplier (another Cyndago ego) is a medical doctor featured in Worst News Doctor and Markiplier TV.
Dr. Plier: Do not get Dr. Plier and Dr. Iplier mixed up. Dr. Plier is a therapist featured in My therapist, Dr. Plier. He also tells dad jokes so I love him.
Ed Edgar: Ed (Cyndago ego) is a southern cowboy-type person who sells kids and also his own kid in Ed Edgar Adoptallott’s Baby Bulk Buy.
Santaiplier: It’s Santa. That’s it. He stars in Santa’s Rampage, Very Organized Santa, Santa does Omegle, and Santa spills the tea where he talks shit about some of the egos.
Edit: 
Harold B. Darrensworth: Stickler for the law. Responsible for shutting down the OG Conga server for crimes relating to eggs. The man who killed the congays. The B stands for Benis and Henry (Mark & Amy’s dog) does NOT like him. “The law is your friend!” shut up fool you took my friends.
JackSepticEye: (you said you knew these but I’m gonna do them anyway)
Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein: A German doctor who claims he is the best doctor and is featured in a Power Hour, a ton of Bio Inc Redemptions, and just about any doctor-related game Sean’s ever played.
Jackieboy Man: A superhero who originated from Cool Patrol and stars in Welcome to the Game #2 and the South Park series.
Marvin the Magnificent: He’s a magician from the Marvin’s Magic Power Hour.
Chase Brody: Chase is a depressed divorcee who lost his kids and stars in a Power Hour where he does trick shots and near the end of TIE.
Antisepticeye: Anti is the Glitch Bitch who first appeared in a ton of videos over the course of October 2016 leading up to Say Goodbye but he also features in Kill Jacksepticeye, JJ’s Power Hour, Dark Silence, and Dark vs. Anti.
Jameson Jackson: A dapper silent film star who is mute and stars in his own Halloween Power Hour where he carves pumpkins. 
Rob the Zombie: He’s not recognized as an actual ego but he was adapted from a game thumbnail and has been adopted by the fandom anyway.
Thomas Sanders:
Patton “Morality” Sanders: Our Peppy Pappy Patton serves as Thomas’ morals and heart in the series The Sanders Sides but he’s also featured as the Dad character in Thomas’ many shorts, vines, and videos.
Virgil “Anxiety” Sanders: Virgil serves as Thomas’ anxiety and appears later in the series in Taking on Anxiety.
Logan “Logic” Sanders: He’s Logic. He’s the brain and provides most of the information. He dislikes Patton’s penchant for puns and emotions in general.
Roman “Creativity” Sanders: Nicknamed Princey, he’s Thomas’ creativity and ambitions and is very extravagant. 
Deceit Sanders: He’s the lying snake that appeared in Can Lying Be Good? and is a confirmed Dark Side. He doesn’t always lie and he seems to share Patton’s affinity for puns.
Sleep: A character featured in Thomas’ short videos nicknamed ‘Remy’ by the fandom. 
Edit:
Printer: Nicknamed Percy by the fandom, this is the printer featured in many of Thomas’ shorts.
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