#p:aizawa/yamada

[qobiin]

the trust of the heart

pairing: erasermic (aizawa x yamada)

genre: fluff, light angst | f2l au, high school au, canon-compliant 

warnings: implied child abuse, emotional constipation

word count: 1759

summary: Hizashi is loud, obnoxious, and annoying at the best of times, but Shouta still likes him anyway.

Shouta makes sure to keep his head down as he enters the classroom.

He knows that none of his classmates would call out to him considering the fact that many of them often forget they are classmates in the first place, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be cautious. He remembers primary and middle school much too often to forget how cruel children can be. Not to mention that his shoulders are still smarting from last night as well when he returned home after curfew. Today he wants to keep to himself.

His lips spread into a thin line when he catches sight of the occupied seat beside his own, sighing deeply as he prepares himself for another loud and irritating day. No doubt his seatmate will never let him have the peace and quiet he has been hoping for since they first met the year before.

"Aizawa-kun!" Hizashi screeches, grinning at the approaching teenager.

Shouta doesn't bother waving or replying, hiding back a wince as he feels everyone's eyes momentarily stray towards them before looking away again. He sits down, pulling his notebook and pencils out of his backpack before rolling his shoulders back, ignoring the sharp jolt of pain that gives him, and turning to give Hizashi his attention.

"What," is his sparse reply.

Hizashi continues to smile at him, used to Shouta's less than bubbly personality after spending a year in his company. "Kayama-senpai wants to get ice cream after school. Shirakumo-kun said he'll buy yours if you come with."

Shouta doesn't roll his eyes, but it's a close thing. "No."

"Please?" Hizashi pouts at him.

"No," Shouta repeats.

Hizashi leans towards him, always moving slowly enough to loudly broadcast his every move to Shouta. Honestly, Shouta is certain that Hizashi isn't capable of doing anything quietly. "What if I buy your ice cream for you instead?"

"Why would that change my answer?"

"Because that's what a boyfriend is meant to do and you can't refuse if it's a date," Hizashi jeers, waggling his eyebrows at Shouta when his expression remains unchanging.

"We aren't dating," Shouta replies, finally unable to stop his eyes from rolling.

A minute into the conversation, that's a new record for him when it comes to Hizashi and his ridiculousness. Before that, Shouta had been at fifty-five seconds. Now it's sixty seconds exactly. How much he wishes that was more of an accomplishment that the average person would appreciate.

Hizashi frowns then, still edging forward. "We went on a date last week."

Shouta blinks at him, surprised despite himself. "No, we didn't."

"We went to the aquarium, I paid for our tickets and food. You let me hold your hand and everything!" Hizashi rushes to say, his thin brows pinching together in distress.

"You insisted on paying," Shouta points out, the corners of his mouth dragging downwards as he is unable to stop himself from frowning. "And we were in the deep sea exhibit, you said you didn't want to lose me in the dark."

Hizashi gapes at him before deflating. "Man, just when I thought my luck was finally looking up."

Shouta studies him, taking in the defeated line of Hizashi's shoulders. His blonde hair sticking up in a tuft from the back of his head seems to wilt under Shouta's very gaze as Hizashi leans away from him. He turns until his entire body is no longer facing him and Shouta swallows back the sour taste in his mouth, not understanding why he is beginning to feel upset now that Hizashi has withdrawn from their conversation.

He should be ecstatic about this. Everyone knows how much Hizashi bothers him with his incessant talking and shouting, loud and unable to be ignored no matter how well Shouta tries to anyway. Hizashi leaving him alone is what Shouta has been trying in vain to achieve ever since they met... Right?

That question plagues him as class begins. Hizashi doesn't glance his way for the rest of their homeroom period, scribbling down notes in his messy scrawl and staring up at the chalkboard with a blank look on his face.

By the time English rolls around, Shouta has not torn his eyes away from Hizashi's side profile. He tracks the blonde boy's every move, a niggling thought in the back of his head that won't leave him alone as he continues to study Hizashi.

He just doesn't understand why he feels so dejected while looking at the boy who has pestered him into being friends for the past year. It is true that Hizashi got on plenty of Shouta's nerves, but they still became friends despite that. Regardless of how often Shouta has wished for Hizashi to simply let him be, he would not have allowed Hizashi to be around him so much if he didn't consider them as friends at the very least.

Shouta is capable of being friends with someone who irritates him on a daily basis. He is capable of being friends with Hizashi because despite all the negative emotions Shouta may harbor for him, he has never once felt the need to direct hostility in Hizashi's direction as he has his other classmates.

Hizashi is loud, obnoxious, and annoying at the best of times, but Shouta still likes him anyway. Shouta likes Hizashi despite all his misgivings because Hizashi has stuck by his side through Shouta's bouts of silence, quiet anger, and aversion to physical contact. Through the days where he will show up to class with dark bruises that Hizashi is well aware he did not receive in training but won't prod him insistently for answers about them either. Through Shouta's gruff answers and dazed expressions on those days where he cannot be bothered to pay attention to his surroundings and the conversations people try to hold with him.

Shouta knows that he is not an easy person to get along with at all. In fact, he is proud of being someone who is difficult to become friends with. It means that anyone who does manage to succeed despite all of Shouta's less than likable qualities is a genuine friend that Shouta won't have to worry about looking over his shoulder so much.

Even with how annoying Shouta believes him to be, Hizashi is still his friend and Shouta doesn't want him to think he cares so little for him. Because he does, care for him, that is. A lot if you were to force that out of him through gruesome torture but never of his own free will, of course.

Ah, that's the problem then, isn't it? Shouta has come to like Hizashi a bit too much.

Shouta sighs to himself as he finally comes to terms with his stupid emotions and wrenches his gaze away from Hizashi's less than happy expression beside him. Well, there's nothing for it. Shouta will have to put his pride aside and reassure his friend that his feels are reciprocated. After all, Hizashi isn't one to tease when it comes to Shouta and his abysmal love life or anyone's love life for that matter.

If Hizashi said they were boyfriends, then that was due to the fact that he truly had believed they were in fact romantically involved as of last week. Looking back on the afternoon they went to the aquarium together, Shouta can see how Hizashi easily convinced himself of this. Shouta still remembers the strange twisting feeling in the pit of his stomach that fell under his notice when Hizashi interlocked their fingers in the near darkness of the deep sea exhibit and continued to bubble within him until hours after leaving the blonde boy's company.

At the time, Shouta had merely ignored it. He was out with a friend who was excitedly leading him around while pointing out all the different fishes and making up backstories for them while he listened and occasionally offered his own suggestions to make the backstories more interesting. The feeling in his stomach was probably just indigestion or something trivial. It mattered little to him when he was enjoying himself for once.

Emotions are something Shouta does not have the best of skill with but he has always tried his best to be honest by his at the very least. Now is the time to put that into practice he supposes. It would not be fair to Hizashi otherwise.

So when they are dismissed for the lunch hour, Shouta reaches out and snags Hizashi's sleeve before his friend can bustle away.

"I want to apologize for what I said before classes began this morning," Shouta says as Hizashi turns to face him. "I did not know that you felt that way and did not mean to hurt your feelings."

Even behind the colored lenses of his glasses, Hizashi's eyes are a startling green that ignites that strange feeling in the pit of Shouta's stomach once more. Hizashi's brows pinch together as the rest of his face frowns, his usual excitement gone for the moment.

"It's fine, Aizawa-kun," Hizashi finally replies, a forced smile on his face that Shouta finds he despises. "I shouldn't have assumed so much and forced us into such an awkward situation."

"Months ago you said it was fine for me to simply call you by your name," Shouta responds with as he blinks rapidly at Hizashi. "I am late with reciprocating, but you can call me Shouta, Hizashi."

Hizashi's smile becomes more strained then, not looking like much of a smile anymore. "You don't have to do that."

"You're right, I don't," Shouta concedes before continuing onwards when it looks like Hizashi is about to say something else. "But I want to and that's what people do when they begin dating, right? Exchange names and such."

"I, ah, wouldn't really know," Hizashi admits, a faint blush blanketing his cheeks as he rubs the back of his neck. "I've never dated anyone before."

Shouta finds himself smiling, this bit of news pleasing him to his very core. "Me neither. A first for both of us then."

Hizashi nods, some of his usual excitement beginning to return to him despite the darkening blush spreading across his face. "So, you're up for it? Dating me, I mean."

"Yes," Shouta responds simply because truthfully, it never was much of a difficult question even with his uncanny ability to avoid speaking of his emotions out loud. "As long as you are as well."

"I am," Hizashi assures him with a grin, his green eyes twinkling under the classroom lights.

Shouta smiles back. "Good."

a/n: written for @cruria​ as part of the secret santa exchange held by @tdbkdkdiscord​! sorry it’s so short, but i got this as a pinch-hit and i’m a very slow writer, so i really hope you like this (: