#outgrow individuals

[ryonello]

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[theoldandnewfirm]

WHAT IF TROLL SKIN WAS AN EXOSKELETON

Sorry, I got ten words into a fic that required a troll to encounter a caustic plant and had to stop and spend the next hour working through the logistics of troll skin.

[vaingod]

anyway i wonder how bad addictive personality and general adhd is in my family when my brother was telling me coke aint shit and it wears out too fast for him and my moms drug talk to me included her telling me she has done coke and it doesnt work and will harm your body and if i wanted to have fun i could drink like a regular person like it sucks being raised as the mentally ill burden only to learn you get those qualities from someone

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

[creature-once-removed]

.

[ms-demeanor]

Due to some stuff brought up in recent posts I believe it is time to once again extol the virtues of Ms-Demeanor's Patented Where Did I Put That Fucking Paper Organizational Binder.

Hello! I am a disorganized adult! This is the system by which I manage my important shit like pink slips for my car and medical records and tax information.

You're going to need:

A 3-Ring Binder

Transparent Sheet Protectors

Notebook dividers (optional but VERY useful)

A backpack (optional)

So the way this system works is you put the sheet protectors into the binder. You can either use the dividers to divide the binder into sections or you can label some of the sheet protectors to make different sections but what you are generally going to do is make sections of the binder labeled things like "taxes" or "vet" or "doctor" and put a few sheet protectors in each section.

Then all of your papers with important information get crammed in that folder. You don't organize them, you don't sort them by date, you don't alphabetize. You put things vaguely relating to taxes into the sheet protectors in the taxes section. You put things relating to cars in the cars section. You don't even attempt to make this readable - you're not using sheet protectors so that you can read each page and keep it legible, you're using sheet protectors because it's a cheap plastic bag that will sit nicely in a binder.

You CAN put stuff into the individual sheet protectors when you get it, but let's be realistic you probably WON'T do that, so just tuck individual papers into the front of the binder until you get to a critical mass of paperwork then take an hour to sit down and sort into categories and put it in the binder once every six months to three years (depending on how frequently you get paperwork). Sometimes these sections will outgrow their original allotted space - since my spouse had a transplant surgery the medical section has had to become its own folder - and that's okay. If you end up with multiple folders just keep them together (this is why the backpack is an option, and one I strongly recommend).

Because yeah, if my organization system relies on opening up a drawer and putting something where it belongs as soon as I get the paper, I will simply not be organized. It's not going to happen. But I can handle a messy stack of paper that sits in one place and grows until it is time to shove it into a binder. I can't organize things for thirty seconds a day every day but I can organize things for an hour once every year or so (maybe two hours every five years when I sort out stuff I don't need like copies of warranties for parts on a car I don't own anymore).

When my mom died she had about fifty pounds of paper files in her office that were neatly organized in a system that didn't make any sense to my dad, my sister, and I. I ended up sorting through those files for twenty hours, tossing out copies of paid invoices from ten years ago and student handbooks from my junior high school. I reduced one filing cabinet, two desk file drawers, and a foot-high stack to a six inch binder that I gave to my dad. My mom died five years ago; two months ago my dad asked me about a medical document and I was able to tell him to go look for it in the medical section of the binder. It was there, because ALL IMPORTANT SHIT GOES IN THE BINDER.

Where is my birth certificate? In the binder. Where is my tax return from 2017? In the binder. Where is the record of my dog's last rabies shot? In the binder. Where are the records for my life insurance? In the binder.

A lot of what people consider "being organized" breaks down to whether or not you can find the specific things that you're looking for. Does my binder look nice? Is it aesthetic? Does it have color-coded tabs and papers all laid out neatly? Absolutely fucking not. But if you ask me where to find a paper I know that I can do so within about five minutes of shuffling through the pile of letter-folded sheets that I pulled out of the appropriate section of the binder.

I've discussed the Where Did I Put that Fucking Paper Binder before, but now it is time to expand that concept to the Backpack of Important Shit.

You likely have Important Shit that does not fit in a binder. Some of my Important Shit that does not fit in a binder is stuff like jewelry and the spare key for my car. Other stuff - the reason I decided to bring this up at all - includes my backup hard drive and packaging (including product key codes) for pretty much all of the software that I own. This is also where I store printed out copies of the recovery codes for most of the online accounts that I have.

There's a lot of weird fiddly shit that we have to have that we might not access all that often. This is the kind of stuff that might end up in junk drawers or under sinks or in disused laptop bags or kicking around under a bunch of papers in a desk drawer.

It doesn't matter so much when that weird fiddly shit is a set of hex keys or a utility knife or a protractor or a copy of a student handbook but it DOES matter when it's something that you might need to put your hands on in a hurry. If your computer crashes, you're not going to want to track down the software in the back of a filing cabinet and the backup drive from somewhere in the bowels of your desk. If you lock your keys in your car you are not going to want to figure out if your spare is in a junk drawer or the old purse where you keep semi-important stuff or the tin on your desk that has buttons and pins and headphone covers. Just put it in the Backpack of Important Shit and when you need it you know where to look.

So anyway, if you are a person who is a minor disaster who has trouble finding important things when you need them please don't think that you have to get your life together and have a nice organized filing cabinet or clear plastic bins full of documents or a neatly divided storage closet where everything from board games to backup drives has its own neatly labeled place. Just assign ONE LOCATION for important shit and start putting the important shit there. It doesn't matter if you have a filing cabinet where you keep old copies of homework and printouts of online orders and family history records - you do not need to keep everything that is file-able in one place and depending on what level of catastrophe you are it might be detrimental to you if you try to do that. It doesn't matter if you have a jewelry box where you keep your collection of gauges and wrist cuffs; if you are going to stress out about where grandma's ring is when you're digging through your collection of cheap earrings and silver pendants then *do not keep grandma's ring or any other Important, Vital, Cannot Be Lost jewelry in with your day-to-day wear*.

I live someplace that has fires. My binder got upgraded to my Backpack of Important Shit when the fires were getting uncomfortably close to the house I was living in and I wanted to have one bag to grab if we had to get out fast. Once I did that, I never took the binder out of the backpack and the backpack has now made three moves with me and has meant that I've had my birth certificate handy when I needed it in the middle of a move between two states, I was able to provide a history of my cholesterol panel going back six years to a visiting nurse, and I was able to give the exact names and contact info of my spouse's previous surgeon to the hospital when I had unexpectedly moved to a new state with three bags and my work computer at the beginning of the pandemic.

Get yourself a backpack of important shit and a folder of where the fuck did i put that paper. It is so much easier to search a backpack for important shit than to go through an entire house and it is so much easier to flip through a binder than it is to dig through a filing cabinet.

Anyway good luck and happy adulting.

[thearchercore]

charles is a PR genius. and here's how he's trying to slowly rebrand his persona to strenghten his personal brand:

recently, especially after the triple header, you could notice charles had a period of time when he distanced himself from ferrari and clearly changed his public statements about his goals. he went from saying he wants to win with ferrari to saying that at his core, he just wants to win. and that he would leave ferrari if he didn't believe the project.

he also changed the way he communicated with fans, through social media. you can notice the change of wording in his post descriptions:

both posts are from the same year, but the wording is now different. he refused to use the ferrari branding and stopped using the typical ferrari-PR wording he was conditioned to use.

fast forward, he started interracting with ferrari by abu dhabi and seemed to be finally happy with the direction the team was taking. however, he still managed to build something from this anti-ferrari period -- the slow rebrand from being "charles, the ferrari driver" to "charles, the f1 driver".

charles is slowly, but surely working to increase the value of his personal brand to possibly gain more negotiating power, and other bonuses that come with having a strong personal brand not tied to any team in particular.

in general, the goal would be to outgrow the team so you are known as an individual athlete, not just someone who drives for the particular team and has their identity tied to the team only.

he also signed with WME for advertisement purposes, he started wearing his personal clothing brand CLACE again after ferrari banned him to do so. he clearly regained more confidence in what he can do as an athlete within the contract (that's usually very limiting from ferrari's pov).

how does he otherwise work on his personal brand? relatability. charles is a gen z child first and foremost, he knows parasocial relationships play a huge role on social media. he works on side personal projects like the LA vlog -- the vlog that had little to do with racing but still showed charles completely SUCK at basketball.

why would you include it, you may ask? it makes him relatable, it makes his personality more interersting. more fun.

his first public post from winter training then was him falling

why did he post that? well, a) he's a silly guy. but more importantly, b) he's not crafting up a perfect PR image, he's aiming for being relatable, showcasing more of his personality. he wants to stand out as an individual in the sea of other f1 drivers who posted more pre-planned content during their winter training.

in the LA vlog he also left in a little dig at carlos. why? because he can. he also used his twitter likes to like controversial things that ferrari wouldn't let him say. he very much knows how to navigate online spaces and how to create more boundaries between his personal brand and the ferrari brand.

additionally, he also now hangs out with people like max publicly even if they don't benefit the ferrari brand. max, in general, isn't liked by the tifosi or ferrari in general. but charles still makes sure to hang out with him on track and outside of it, once again, securing his personal brand and not pushing something that ferrari would prefer.

it's all very interesting to watch, seeing how carefully he's rebuilding his public image and how he communicates on social media with the world.

[neyafromfrance95]

the thing is, there can be a character development journey about galadriel outgrowing her pride without it feeling sexist.

galadriel's pride can be seen as her individualism and her belief in her own exceptionalism. she has a god complex after all.

and her journey can be about her learning how important a community is, how it can uplift her and let her shine and lead if she does right by others.

the way they go about it is that galadriel sacrifices herself as the way of resisting sauron so the elves take her back in their community.

but galadriel's issue has never been that she doesn't sufficiently resist sauron or is not ready to die in order to defeat him.

her issue in s1 is that she doesn't let anyone in and no one really tries to stand at her side. she is alienated and it is not just her at fault - the people around her fail her and turn their backs on her when she is hurt. they treat her trauma like a burden.

sauron is the only one who tries to understand her and patiently encourages her to open up, thus she lets him in, and he tries to heal her (in his own way)!

but no one, NO ONE, bears the responsibility for alienating galadriel in s2... they just sideline her and doubt her. elrond's "tough love" is fun to watch and all, but man, he could have been a bit softer and more empathetic. gil-galad's joke about her finally being quiet after she wakes up from her suicide jump is... well.

therefore, the season fails to deliver what i suppose it intended to. it feels like a proud female warrior is getting slut-shamed and humbled by the bunch of men who are wrong to have ever doubted her to begin with... ultimately proving sauron right about all others looking on her in doubt.

in the end, it indeed is sauron alone who sees galadriel's greatness and has never doubted her light to overpower her darkness that mirrors his own. i believe that is one of the reasons why he admires her and literally wants to bind her to power.

he does lose it after she tells him that the door is shut and binds her to his darkness in desperation, but the insinuation that the elves take away her sword yet sauron gives her a weapon far more powerful is almost delicious tbh.

it could be a redeeming opportunity to dismiss the sexist development of s2 as a red-herring and further explore galadriel's struggle with her darkness, having her outgrow it in a more interesting and meaningful way.

[intuitively-her]

First energy I'm picking up on somebody that you recently cut off or you need to. This could be someone apart of your friend group. I feel like you were put into a situation with this person that made you realize that they aren't really down for you like you thought. You made the right decision cutting them off. They are a straight up user and opportunist. Now they're pissed because they can no longer eat off your plate. They are now forced to watch you be happy from afar.

Second energy This is someone that works in the same field as you. I feel like most of you know who this is. This person tries to one-up everything you do. They might even try to dress better than you. This energy is SO immature lol. It feels very petty and tit for tat. My advice is to just ignore them. Don't give them any type of reaction because that's exactly what they want. For some of you, this person will try to extend an "olive branch" and act like they want to help you with something. DO NOT accept anything from them. They want to sabotage what you have going on.

Message from spirit📞 Stop worrying/overthinking so much about this situation. We are protecting you all the way through. Put your focus back into what matters most as you go through this transition.

Main energy This is a family member or lover. This could also be a sibling or parent maybe? I feel like y'all aren't as close as used to be. You could feel like you're outgrowing this person. They feel very rejected by you right now. This person has shown you time and time again that they are unreliable. They are jealous the love and praise that you receive from others.

Message from spirit📞 Allow this relationship to fall. You know this person cannot come with you.

First energy I'm getting strong 3rd party vibes. There is someone that feels like you have what's theirs or vice versa. I keep hearing "he/she's mine!" This is making me think of that movie "Obsession". Go watch that. Someone here recently found out that “their person” is dealing with someone else and they are PISSED.😭 This is "the other woman/man." They are mad that they no longer have access to your person. Especially if your person has money and likes to spoil/take care of you. I feel like your person was juggling you and this other individual in the past, or maybe they dated them once and things didn't work out. Regardless, this other woman/man is mad because your person chose to be with you instead. Don't pay this person any mind lol.

Second energy This is your ex. This person is lurking harddd on your socials. You've probably been noticing hella fake pages popping up on your feed, and it's definitely them. If you've started dating again or talking to someone new, they are mad as hell.🤣

Message from spirit📞 You need to do some self-reflection. Heal from the things that once hurt you. Figure out what you love about yourself/ what you'd like to change. Do more of what makes you happy. Cut out distractions and meditate for a clearer outlook.

*ONLY TAKE WHAT RESONATES*

💖Please DO NOT copy, repost, or steal my work. Thanks!💖

[erijt]

Spine Hosts

Old Selkie practice of parasitic implantation to gift individuals with the ability of empowered vivimancy. Such practices have slowly faded with the passing of time along with suppression by the conquest of the Goblin tribes from the south, many of whom find the practice abhorrent. Those Selkies gifted with the parasite were feared by Goblin tribesmen during the years of conflict due to the terrifying nature of a "dying" host in combat.

Hosts struggle with endless vivimancy transformation throughout their lives, their bodies shifting between periods of benign existence and parasitic metastasis. The parasite slowly grows in strength over time and with its growth comes mastery over vivimantic powers, along with an appetite for biomass that must be maintain else the carrier risks their own body as the final meal. Upon reaching its final stage of life such parasites will inevitably outgrow their host and seek out a location where it might laydown to "die" among a large enough gathering.

[growingstories]

La vie est belle

Thibault, a 35-year-old with a big chest, strong arms embodies the ex-jock look with his abs covered by the good French life. He lives in a quaint French countryside filled with wine farms that have been in his family for four generations. Thibault is a hard worker who has dedicated himself to weightlifting at his home gym and running the farm. However, he struggles with finding a romantic partner as there are no openly gay individuals in his small town, and he despises city life. Thankfully, his mother and his four loving sisters constantly pamper him.

Despite his weightlifting and because of his mother's delicious food he said goodbye to his abs when he returned home after his economics study. Home made pies, foie gras, cheese boards, stews, etc, all made it impossible to live on just chicken and broccoli. Thibault has always harbored an ambition to win prizes for his family's wines. However, the sudden death of his father left him unable to achieve this dream as his father didn’t get the chance to leave him the family’s wine blending secrets. As a means to gather feedback, Thibault starts dining at a restaurant that sells wines from the region and forms a bond with the owners who pamper him with delicious food. Unfortunately, indulging in these culinary delights leads to him gaining some weight. Mainly around his belly.

After a few years of trying out blends Thibault's fortunes change when he becomes the winner of a prestigious regional wine festival. Thrilled with this recognition, he takes his wines to various other festivals and attends big parties and tastings. However, as he immerses himself in this world, Thibault's belly continues to grow alongside his success.

Thibault's wines gain popularity, and upscale restaurants invite him to bring his wines for menu tastings. His mother, concerned about his well-being, packs snacks for him to enjoy during the long drives. These snacks, along with his indulgence in fatty breakfasts to combat hangovers, only contribute to his expanding waistline. Eventually, Thibault finds himself needing to buy a new wardrobe to accommodate his weight gain.

To combat the effects of his overeating, Thibault starts running. However, his fitness journey comes to an abrupt halt when he injures his ankle, rendering him unable to do anything but focus on exercises for his chest and arms. This setback only serves to bulk up these muscles, causing Thibault to outgrow his gym shirts.

His awarded wines give him to write about his passion in the culinary world. As a food and wine critic for a prominent international newspaper, Thibault finds himself in the perfect position to recover from his injury. His mother aids in his recovery by preparing delectable food pairings for his wine tastings, and farmers from the countryside send him their specialties to try. These days are filled with writing and indulging in delicious meals.

Unfortunately, Thibault's mother falls ill and entrusts her daughters with taking care of him. Each night, a different sister cooks for him, ensuring he has big portions of food to fuel his growing business and appetite. As a result, Thibault's belly expands exponentially, making simple tasks such as tying his shoes more challenging and leaving him out of breath quickly.

Due to his expertise in the wine industry, Thibault is appointed as the chairman of a prestigious wine qualification company. This honorable position brings him recognition from farmers who send him gifts, food, and wine. As Thibault visits various towns for his work, he finds himself surrounded by enticing food and never-ending parties, causing his weight to steadily increase.

Thibault's godson Bernard, the son of his closest friends and neighbors, came back from university in the US. The boy turned into a handsome and muscular young man, expresses a desire to work for his godfather. Thibault gladly accepts and tries not to fall in live with the young man. Wanting to keep his beloved godfather happy, Bernard takes charge of cooking their lunches. Bernard had learned to cook big American meals in dorm combining this with French taste. Thibault, trying to hide his crush, started to eat everything in sight. As Thibault becomes a charitable figure, he is invited to various events and wants Bernard to accompany him everywhere.

While Thibault sleeps off the hangovers from wine filled nights Bernard starts his days with a run and picks up breakfast for his godfather. One morning Thibault looked out of the window and sees his godson shirtless sweating and stretching after his run. The sight is amazing, the young man has sculpted abs and a big chest. Amazingly big legs and a round ass. He feels his dick getting hard, but when he looked down he couldn't even see his feet anymore. Bernard caught Thibault staring and waved and holds up a bag of pastries. Thibault is embarrassed. How can he be attracted to his godson, its just wrong he tells himself. Bernard brings up the breakfast to his room, still shirtless. He gives the bag to Thibault and tells him he bought som extra for the long roadtrip. The trip is tense, Thibault didnt dare to speak and ate all the pastries within in the first hour. Bernard thinks his godfather is just hungry and after pumping gas he returns to the car with more food.

This can’t continue Thibault thinks to himself as he looks down to his massive belly sitting in his lap. Looking at his reflexing in the car mirror, he suddenly realized what happened to him, he wekt from fit college jock to grey haired morbidly obese 43 years old single gay wine farmer.

Stay tuned for part 2

[grapejuicestyless]

Burn Out

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

Summery: Y/n was often labeled, “the gifted kid.” She can’t help but feel like she’s falling behind when everyone’s suddenly leaving her behind

link to request HERE.

She’d heard it her whole life. From the day she could walk to her first report card with letters on it, her mother always threw the term around to all her friends. She bragged to her relatives, boasted to her co-workers. It felt nice to be good, to get good grades, to do well in activities after school. But with each passing year, Y/n grew up wanting to be great.

She was tired of her mother raving to Susannah about how good at writing she was for her age. She didn’t want to be good for her age. She just wanted to be great. It seemed that no matter how much she excelled, she was forever bound to that boundary that left her feeling less than.

Being good for her age didn’t feel like a compliment after she reached double digits. She felt stupid. Why couldn’t she be more? Why was she subjected to only be allowed to succeed within the group of individuals who all shared the same birthdays, birth years? Why wasn’t she ever compared to the big kids? The varsity athletes who complimented her and the art prodigies who urged her to pursue it for longer. Why couldn’t anyone see how hard she was treating to be the best she could?

It was obvious she was going places. How while Conrad and Steven ran around throwing footballs and splashing around in the pool, Y/n was curled up in the grass reading best selling novels and scandalous news stories. She was set on being great her whole childhood, never enjoying the simple things. But her love for reading and writing that developed in her tween years is what started her spiral.

Y/n was set on being a journalist. She had her future planned out. She wanted to go to an Ivy League. The state or the name didn’t matter. She wanted something she could put on her work resume to show everyone what she could do. She worked for it. She dropped all of her sports, all of her art classes. She was set on this career path she wanted so badly. She wrote for the school newspaper, the yearbook, the town paper. She did it all. Even without the early morning wake ups in the summer, her eyes carried heavy eye bags from her obsessive work ethic. She sat at the desk Susannah and Laurel had built for her by the bay window. She wrote and she wrote until her palms were grey with graphite and her fingers calloused and aching.

They all said she would outgrow it. The desire to be the best, the competitive nature she had. When she didn’t, they began to realize their mistake. Y/n never saw her peers as her biggest competitors, but herself as her biggest threat. She wanted to out write herself, make everything she could the best possible so even when she was old she could smile and say she was proud of it. To everyone, it seemed that with her obsessions and excessive efforts, she was headed right where she wanted to be.

Y/n’s mother always believed she wouldn’t have to put any money away for Y/n. Surely, she would be able to manage a full ride somewhere wonderful. A penny wouldn’t be spent on anything more than the books and the comforter for her dorm room. The added pressure to Y/n’s already rotten mind tainted with the intense pressure to remain as gifted as her mother had always convinced everyone she was.

Quickly, it built. Her hands still ached and she still spent hours at her desk, but she couldn’t write anymore. It all came out in short sentences that led her no where. There was no connection to make it make sense. She couldn’t think of ways to out do herself, ways to reinvent the greatness she knew she had within herself. She couldn’t spend every hour studying until her eyes drooped and the pages were stuck together with her drool. She couldn’t do it anymore.

The only way to describe what Y/n felt was burnt out. Sluggish. She moved through the days just the same, but they dragged. She wasn’t productive. She laid in bed eyes crusty and dry from all of her tears being wasted on her pillows.

She was failing. Not only in her head now, but now everyone else knew it. She was barely passing English and now calculus and physics seemed like too much to juggle. She didn’t feel wise beyond her years anymore. She felt right where she started, bound to the boundaries of her own age. No matter how hard she tried, her motivations were gone. She wasn’t a prodigy, she just tried. She wasn’t gifted, she was simply obsessive. She had little friendships left, no boyfriend. Her own dreams got in the way of her childhood.

When the letters came in, she watched how everyone around her rejoiced, basking in their victories. Steven was going to Princeton. Jeremiah to finch and Belly would surely follow him. The one that stung the most was Conrad. He’d already managed a spot in Browns pre-med program. Not that Y/n wanted that for herself, to be a doctor that is. No, but to have to ability to show everyone from her small hometown she had the brains to escape, be known. But Brown was never enough for Conrad. How could one of the hardest Ivy’s to get into ever be enough for the overachieving blonde? The boy who never really had to try in order to be great. He had to rub salt into the wound by getting into Stanford the following summer.

Y/n never hated Conrad for it. It wasn’t his fault he was just naturally better than her. But it stung that the only college that she could afford would be the safety state school. Her mother was partially to blame. Even though Y/n had gotten into some of the hardest schools to attend, none came with the financial aid she needed. She was good, but not enough. Without any savings from her mother, the money she had saved was not nearly enough to travel the map for school. She would forever be stuck somewhere she didn’t want to be.

It wasn’t like she cared the most, less work in some senses. Yet, the pounding headache that constantly beat at her self esteem screamed at her. How the voices that taunted her for all these years had finally been proven right.

Y/n would always be good, but she could never be great.

Careful of the heaviness of it all, Conrad treaded lightly to her slumping frame.

Sitting in her room, shadows casted over her quilt, her eyes stared blankly into the old oak desk she once considered something short of an oasis. Her papers were neat, pencils dull. Used up from pointless ideas and messy attempts to grasp at her lost talents.

Holding the letters, detailing how much she owed to prove herself, the debt she ultimately couldn’t afford, she began to grow resentful. How she had wasted her best years on something she couldn’t afford to achieve. While everyone else had memories of beach volleyball and sandcastles, Y/n had paper cuts and tired eyes. It was all so defeating to realize.

While many could brush her off as too sentimental, too emotional over something so small, Conrad knew her better. He saw the way her eyes dimmed, her heart stuttered. She died just hours ago in that once lively kitchen when reading the news.

“I’m a failure.” It was all she could manage. Three shaky words that broke between, her breathing coming out in quiet gasps. It was like a knife to the heart, realizing someone so persistent was finally giving up. Crumbling.

In her mind, she had made every mistake possible. She’s given up something so important, risked the loss of her childhood all for some dream she herself couldn’t even achieve with all the hours of work she forced upon herself. Yet, to Conrad, she hadn’t failed in the slightest. Y/n was wise well beyond her years. She had a mind like no other, a way with her words but also reasoning behind each sentence that made even the most outlandish claims seem more truthful than a defined fact. To him, she was the definition of greatness.

“You have your whole life ahead of you.” He’d tried to reassure her, words muffled against her hair. She smelled of coconut and fruits. Freshly washed hair as clean and neat as her mind once was. Still, his touch and his words held no weight in Y/n’s racing mind.

How could she explain to him each detail of the situation, each complexity that made her so distraught, so self destructive? Not only had she failed, but in all her efforts, she’d missed out on the best years of her life. She wondered if she would have to live with herself, from now for eternity wishing she could go back? Lay out under the stars and watch as satellites became mistaken as comets by her friends.

“Will it feel like this forever?” She’s asked almost too innocently. It was a genuine question. Would the stabbing pains in her heart, the throbbing inside of her skull ever full into an ache she could ignore for her own good? Would she ever stop living in regret and just be able to live her life without her own fears of missing out, of falling short?

“It’s gets better.” He’d promised her. Truthfully, there was no way he could’ve known. He was blessed with the ability to be effortlessly great. Always at the top without any struggle for the power that came with it. All while Y/n had to fight for even a spot on the podium.

Conrad only had one regret then. That he hadn’t been quicker to stop Y/n from falling so far, so hard. He knew it better than anyone, he lived and breathed burnouts. He crashed constantly, falling flat on his face. Yet, somehow he never slipped from where he stood. He wished that she could see just how amazing she was.

“What if I don’t?” It was a double edged sword. Both a question of mentally and physically. Would the pain ever ease? Would the slump fade into a distant memory of her teenage years? Would her skills resume into a climb of greatness as Y/n developed into something just short of Shakespeare? She still longed for that sense of accomplishment in her life. She still strives to be at the top and it was killing her. The fact that in her constant need to get better, she had fallen into a state of panic when she saw no progress. She feared that in her best efforts, she’d already given up all the best parts of herself, to no avail.

Conrad couldn’t promise her that she would. She had worked so long, fallen just short of what she deserved, all at the faults of the pressures of her youth. All responsibilities she never deserved to have to carry in the first place.

Placing a kiss to her temple, he held onto her like a promise, keeping her locked away in his heart. Silently, as her eyes settled back on the old oak desk, Conrad prayed. He never did that. He wished that there were some alternate universe. One where Y/n could live in peace, free from the restrictions and pressures of her childhood. A life where her future wasn’t something she had to know so early. He hoped that somewhere in that universe, she realized just how important she was, at least to him.

He swore then, even in her darkest hours, despite what the world thought, he would always love her. He only wished that she could see what he thought of her. That she was the greatest thing to ever happen.

[krisluxxeeempress]

RETROGRADES | ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS

i have observed individuals with retrograde planets in their chart, experience the most rejection in that particular area. You have to, you may, understand that retrogrades ultimate purpose is to ensure you have an OVER-STANDING of yourself and of course, others and life in general. Most people lack self awareness, TRUTH and consciousness. Most people want things that come easy and are quite eager to create shortcuts in all aspects of life. Retrogrades force you to experience a situation, a lesson - revisit pain , trauma - to rethink decisions that have resulted in repeated mistakes, heartbreaks , consequences and so forth.

When you have retrogrades planets natally, you will indeed attract people , places and things that come with a price - a harsh lesson & rejection. The rejection comes into play because like planets that come into another planets orbit - you will attract others into your retrograded planets orbit and they, them or it , will now be influenced by YOUR retrograded energy.

Energy rubs off everyone. Example, If you come into an angry, toxic or happy persons orbit - in most cases, their energy will rub off on you.

Your retrograded energy will most certainly cause others -who are fighting to avoid self awareness or in other words - GROW THE FUCK UP & TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY- to reject you in some manner.

Again, retrograde energy forces accountability, honesty, retakes , edits , starting over & over & over , rethinking , double checking and taking the longer route … All of which, MOST people avoid, reject, deny and make excuses for.

Others will gravitate into your ORBIT, not necessarily by their choosing - a higher power is at play. The reason for this is because they NEED to rethink, slow down , GROW THE FUCK UP, LEARN & BECOME AWARE OF THEMSELVES but instead you will observe rejection, a tower or a breakdown of the relationship because they refuse.

Others may flat out avoid you all together. They will act like and treat you like you’re invisible because energetically they know, their lower selves know what will happen if they allow themselves to gravitate into your orbit. “ HEAR NO EVIL, SEE NO EVIL” is how they FEEL you. You would make them aware ( depending on the retrograded planets you have) of their inner evil that they refuse to become aware of - let alone change, heal and outgrow.

( people avoid expensive stores because they know they can’t afford the merchandise. They will either quickly glance or not look at all. Some may even PRETEND they can afford the merchandise and when it comes time to put their money where their mouth is- THEY DISAPPEAR)

If you have more than 2 retrograded planets , all the more power to you…

Understand, you are walking KARMA for people, and they will avoid you at all costs or pretend and eventually get exposed i.e.. the relationship breaking down.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

What Carmy wants

IMPO it's pretty obvious that what he wants is Reparation by Opposition.

In Psychogenealogy and Transgenerational Therapy this means that when you come from a family that was the source of trauma, your responses can only be 3 potential ones: Repetition → status quo that only serves to perpetuate the trauma, Opposition → breaking the cycle but in spite, not as a reparation but as defiance, again: trauma response, OR REPARATION BY OPPOSITION → the only response that includes real healing and liberation from that trauma, which entails not perpetuating the toxic cycle, not acting in spite and just to challenge the status quo to prove "them" wrong or that they don't own us, etc. It's the only mature and healthy response, although the other two do not necessarily imply a conscious conflict. Some people can lead a seemingly "conflict-free" life even when perpetuating the status quo or opposing to it in an act of vengeance, like our case study here:

He wants his legacy to be all he never had growing up:

A panic-less environment.

Anxiety-free.

Be square with everything and everybody.

To make it good, he'd have to filter out the bad.

I already went over this in terms of the show in general because I firmly believe those lines are nothing but a huge foreshadowing of the show's whole arc, and as usual, Storer hid it in plain sight:

That is why MEAT was in the background, in the frame, in the center, because what Carmy was saying was the whole "meat" of the show:

However, as for Carmy, individually speaking, those lines are ANOTHER PIECE OF HARD EVIDENCE, we, Sydcarmy truthers can and should hold onto and go by, to back up our SYDCARMY ENDGAME claims and wishes. We are not delulu. Well, not because of believing in Sydcarmy endgame anyway...

There is no way on Earth Carmy can achieve all that with the C person. Someone who represents his past and triggers his trauma to the point of causing panic attacks, someone who he associates with the "old Carmy" he wants to outgrow to get to where he wants to be and spend the rest of his life in (his purpose). Of course, she represents the status quo for him, the literal girl next door who is totally familiar with his past family trauma and all the things he wants to leave behind. She is what his toxic family wanted for him. She is in no way, shape or form a symbol of progress or healing, you can read about that in pretty much ALL my C Person meta, here ↓

The only character on the whole show that represents change, evolution, growth, and progress, is:

Every one of Carmy's breakthroughs, had her presence in them, in one way or another.

He started turning The Beef around when she came along, even when everyone was still opposing his leadership because he wasn't alone anymore:

He accepted his shortcomings and vowed to change:

He shared his dream with her because he trusted her fully, even when he had only met her for a few months at that point (he didn't even trust C with his right number even after knowing her for years)

He shared her dream:

He put everything in her hands and then couldn't live with the guilt of having let her down, which triggered ALL HIS DEMONS.

She was also there when he gathered the strength to confront his abuser:

Summing up, the only one who can bring out this Carmy we all want, including himself, is Sydney and he already knows that, he told her:

Bonus track: What Syd always wanted and still does is this ↓

The great news is that what Syd and Carmy want are FULLY COMPATIBLE things.

which is the key to any healthy and lasting relationship love story. Not wanting the same things, none of us want the same things as our partners at all times, it's impossible and or childish because we are dynamic beings and individuals, and any relationship that annuls or censors our individuality can't or shouldn't last. Now, finding someone with whom you can be yourself, NOT LOGAN:

Being accepted by them and at the same time inspired and driven to change for the better, as opposed to remaining stuck in the past, THAT IS LOVE and that is at the very least PROMISING. A relationship based on that and on trust can only be a good one, no matter how toxic or hard it gets at times, as most relationships at some point do or might because that means that all the tools to "fix" it, are there, at hand.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[breached-containment-script]

Some arguments KA shippers make are valid and true. But that they don't necessarily do anything nearly enough to be valid anti-zutara arguments!

Stuff like, that quick burns probably wouldn't scar (Katara's hands) or that if she had gotten scarred, that Toph's feet should have gotten scarred too. This is valid.

That it's true that when Aang's negative aspects get developed to their final extreme forms in theories and fanfiction, it can feel weird and offputting to people who naturally gravitate towards staying approximately around canon vibes; that some descriptions of behaviour sound too strong to some people which results in pushing them away from zutara as a negative reaction to associated criticisms of Aang. But that also personal headcanon developments (even those with strong foundation in canon) are individual preferences and people are able to choose which headcanons to like, without using disliked ones to paint an entire show interpretation negative.

It'a true that most of Aang's bad behaviour in the show can be attributed to him being just a kid and not being self-aware enough yet. He's not intentionally malicious in most cases. His negative reaction towards Water Tribe culture and food is a depiction of a kid not knowing how to respect something that makes him uncomfortable, even if this kinda clashes with him having already had friends from all over the world. Unfortunatey, canon progression doesn't depict him learning as many lessons as he should nor does it show him outgrowing negative traits even though it should have. THIS is the source of headcanons which appreciate intentionally exploring main character developing in a negative light. His negative traits constantly repeat and have a common stay in his canon character. This is a fact, especially with his claim that he'd be in the Avatar state had it not been blocked, out of frustration that actors on a stage implied Katara doesn't feel the same way about him. This is a very bad thing, we've seen both him and others being afraid of it, it causing massive destruction and Katara having the burden of calming him down. How would she theoretically calm him down in the case he did enter the Avatar state because of this reason? Assuming she didn't have romantic feelings for him (which should always exist as a valid option for any character, to test if they have a healthy interaction) - she could pray he'd accept it and calm down on his own, or be under extreme pressure to lie that she likes him back. Even if she did like him back, having to admit under the threat of a destructive force being unleashed, IS NOT GOOD. Especially as the characters never addressed this later.

Yes, Zuko did a lot of bad things but not only are they overblown by KA-fans and Zuko-antis, they constantly purposefully ignore that he got punished repeatedly, suffered in canon for his actions and kept doing very risky and selfless things to make up for his past, they also forget that time flows FORWARD and that WHEN events happened on a timeline MATTERS. It's not an argument that Zuko burned Suki's village in book 1 when he helped rescue her and others by risking his life in book 3 and she forgave him. One thing is collateral damage in a cartoon filled with cartoon violence, and another when for example Long Feng kills Jet. Viewers should be able to discern the tone difference, because shows (or any creative work) especially with multiple writers, aren't homogenous, and aren't tonally or message-wise completely unified. Don't start your deduction argument from the idea that a show is fully consistent and is absolutely sending a singular message, start an inductive analysis from ideas about what a show's context is, what its goals are, what the tone feels like in each section, did it accomplish what it was aiming for, etc. Likewise Zuko could have been written even better in some areas and with more context!

However him hunting down heroes, knocking out Katara etc. isn't a gotcha argument some people think it is, because Katara knocked him out as well, twice even so badly he didn't wake up for quite some time; and he was struck, rejected, ignored, mocked and criticised by both Iroh, the gaang and Katara especially after he sided with Azula under Ba Sing Se, but then they forgave him as he actively worked to atone, and Katara herself forgave him for what he did. She then risked her life to save him back. The writing is very logical and consistent in this.

[blues-valentine]

The thing is, Paxton was a great first boyfriend for Devi but it was never meant to be. He represents a different Devi, the high school part of her that wanted to fulfill dreams for external validation. Dreams that she has simply outgrow and she can allow herself to admit that now because her dreams have evolved. In another life, one in which Devi didn’t idealize him, maybe they could’ve worked but Devi was not in love with Paxton. She was attracted to a romanticized idea of him. That’s always been the problem with their relationship, the fact she always saw him as a symbolic dream, her rise to popularity — a thing she thought would give her the self love and normalcy she craved. Once she dated him, lost him, got over him, got to do some evolving herself, and was able to date outside of her bubble, her feelings for him weren’t there anymore simply because they were not longer under those rose colored lenses. She was able to recognize what has been there the whole time. Devi wasn’t longing for Paxton. Not in the ways she has longed for Ben, because the Paxton she wanted was someone she made up in her head. And Ben has always been the real deal for her. Her nemesis, her academic rival, her friend, her ex, her boyfriend. Devi, just like Paxton, deserve someone that makes you feel all the emotions, all the stomach knots and that crazy passion.

As Devi said, Paxton was a good boyfriend, but a much better friend to her. I like their closure. I like that they were able to cherish the influence in each other's lives while moving into new things for them. Things that are better suited for what they want from life. Not all relationships are meant to be and that doesn't diminish it.

Then there’s Ben. If anything showed this season is that she loves him irrevocably, with all his good thing and bad qualities too. And Ben despite all his dumbness this season, he loves Devi. There's no one else for him. He could date all the cool girls and Devi would still be the one for him. They’re the type of love Trent described on Season 3. “We rile each other up and then we love each other.” Ben and Devi are soulmates. They fit in a way that they appreciate each other's drive, weirdness and unattractive qualities. Devi is so herself with him and Ben was never a fantasy, he was a very tangible person that has a lot of flaws and a lot of that grow (for her and Ben) had to be individual before coming together. And they'll continue growing together.

The romantic themes of the show have always been very clear. It's about what Devi thinks she needs to be normal vs the things she will realize she wants and fullfills her. She got all of the things she wanted in the pilot, the difference is that pilot Devi asked for those things to satisfy an external filter but she not longer craves that because she has grown. Devi ended the show happy and fulfilled with her life, in her dream school, comfortable with herself, her culture. Devi could've perfectly ended up alone and that would have been totally okay too but Devi loves love and I'm happy she got exactly that.