#out of cruxis

[originskey]

(This is the funniest thing and I didn't even order the comm, Lloyd's mun did, and I can't stop laughing)

Credit!

[lastthroes]

i feel a bit bad for bursting the theory crafting, but though they did accidentally remove a whole text box without moving the dialogue in it to a previous one, the part about colette being the seventh chosen was never there in the japanese script in the first place: you can check it by yourself by watching gc gameplays in japanese (15:50)

レミエル「我が名はレミエル」 remiel: "my name is remiel." レミエル「マナの血族の娘コレットを新たな神子として天にみちびくクルシスの天使」 remiel: "i am an angel of cruxis who has come to lead colette, daughter of the mana lineage, on her journey to heaven as the new chosen."

my assumption re:the missing text box is that that's just an accident from the remasters being based in the ps2 version of the game. that text box, as you can tell by watching the video, was added during the game's location process. something happened there that they couldn't just add the rest of the text without it i suppose, maybe character limit? interestingly enough, that text book was never there in the spanish gc edition in the first place either, so it just ommits the last part from remiel's lines instead

i'd be willing to think the location team made a mistake with an old part/version of the script (unused stuff is often still left in the gamedata, and just as often it gets localized, it just goes unused and you can't see it through normal means) but considering i never heard of anything similar, it seems to me this is just a typical case of mistranslating instead. it's not the first time there's a mistranslation in a tales game for whatever reason and it won't be the last one

tl;Dr mistranslated so not canon, feel free to disregard it. besides, as you pointed out, it wouldn't make sense with the number of floating coffins in the tower. that, and that the lineage of mana isn't a recent thing in-game either

so this text box got eaten in most ports, but in the original gc release, Remiel says Colette is the seventh Chosen

*glances inside the Tower of Salvation*

how..... exactly, does that reconcile

[richea]

[Translation] Kratos of the Expiation: Chapter 1 parts 2-3

This update brings us to page 28/317. As I mentioned in my prior post, please think of this as a first draft translation. Starting with this post, I'll be linking to a playthrough (both dubbed and subbed) for those who wish to watch along to the corresponding game cutscenes as they read. Dubbed / Subbed (video picks the wrong choice, here's the choice in Japanese)

Chapter 1: Part 2 of 6

It has been 15 years since Kratos last descended onto earth.

Long ago, Kratos betrayed Cruxis and defected from the organization. He had since then rejoined Yggdrasill’s side, but only on the condition that he wouldn’t be allowed to descend onto earth as he pleased.

Northwest of the Tower of Salvation lies an area thick with trees. Along the shoreline, at the foot of a small mountain, a village can be seen. It’s Iselia, which was known to be the headquarters for the Church of Martel. This is the place Kratos set off to visit.

The entire world has its watchful eye on Iselia. This is due to the fact that the Chosen One was born within its hold, of whom would set off on the Journey of World Regeneration, saving the world from destruction. On the Chosen’s 16th birthday, she is to receive the oracle from an angel of Cruxis and set off on her journey. Today is that very day.

Thinking of the phrase “World Regeneration” brought back harsh memories for Kratos. It was as if a pain pierced his heart. However, there was nothing Kratos could do at this point. He had become completely void of any way to fight against Mithos. In a way, maybe that was for the best. Even if the path there wasn’t pretty, so long as the world would be regenerated, then―

The sound of people fighting grated Kratos’ ears the second he looked at the plateau to his left. He has a heightened sense of hearing. The range of which he can pick up sounds is expanded, and he is able to hear things with clarity that are not normally able to be processed by the human ear. The same is true for his vision. By focusing his attention on something, he is able to see things far away, down to their very texture. Thanks to this, he’s able to tell that there’s a rather intense battle happening atop the plateau.

Kratos took a deep breath before spreading a radiant blueish-white light from behind his back. It glistened and swayed, like the shimmer of hot air. Protruding from his back were wings of condensed mana which allow him to fly. A circulation of his bodily mana takes form and is expended from his body in the form of radiation.

Kratos’ body lifted into the air, and he beelined it towards the plateau. Below him, he could see a cluster of corpses spread about. They were all priests of the Church of Martel. It seems a scandal unbefitting the Day of Prophecy has taken place here.

Atop the plateau lies the Martel Temple. A fight was breaking out there. Kratos landed at the base of the plateau without a sound, put his wings away, and dashed up the stairs towards the temple.

What he found in front of the temple was a band of infiltrators that seemed familiar, and a group of kids who were picking a fight with them. It was immediately clear to him that the kids were at the disadvantage.

“Man, this guy is really tough!”

One of the boys had floundered about in his stance, and the enemy took advantage of that. The giant man he was fighting was swinging around an iron ball above his head, and brought it down to strike the boy.

In the nick of time, Kratos put himself in between the iron ball and the boy, unsheathing his sword to strike at the weapon. He cut the chain that held the ball in a flash, rendering the weapon useless.

“Huh? Who are you?”

“Get out of the way.”

Kratos ordered the boy to stay put and closed the gap between himself and his opponent. He leaped towards him and thrusted the tip of his sword towards the man’s throat.

“Are you the rats I was told to exterminate?”

“Rgh...”

The large man froze and awkwardly turned his gaze towards his superior. That was enough of an answer for him. Without hesitation, Kratos plunged his sword deep into the man’s neck, and then pulled the blade out as he kicked his body backwards. Using the recoil he hopped back, as a rain of blood poured onto the spot he had just been standing.

“I never thought you’d show up.” The man’s superior stood on the other side of the pool of blood, glaring at Kratos. “Retreat for now!”

At that order, all of the soldiers left in a hustle. The remaining survivors carried the corpses of their fallen allies and skillfully scampered down the stairs of the plateau. Kratos shook his sword to fling the blood off of it and sheathed it.

I see, so it’s just as I heard. This Chosen is a perfect match. That must be why the “rats” are making their move.

As the enemies dispersed, the children who had been discouraged all of a sudden perked up. He kept his back turned to the teenagers who were being their typical, noisy selves, and an old woman approached him. He could feel an air of refinement from her. He could immediately tell she wasn’t just any ordinary old lady.

“How can I ever thank you for saving the Chosen?”

At this, Kratos turned his head to look at the children. The silver-haired one seemed to be in his early teens. He used magic during the battle, so he must be either an elf or a half-elf―Kratos found the latter more likely. He felt something off about the boy in the red outfit, but it was probably nothing to worry about. In any case, both of them are boys, so it’s not either of them. The Chosen of Regeneration would be a girl.

“...I see. So this girl is the next Chosen.”

Kratos shifted his gaze towards the blond-haired girl, who the two boys were guarding. When the girl met his gaze, she seemed startled for a second, but then innocently smiled at him. He wondered if she was aware of the fate set before her. Kratos frowned, and the girl’s face suddenly lit up.

“That’s right! I have to go accept the oracle!” The girl rushed over to the old woman, continuing on with a dignified voice. “Grandmother, I’m going to undergo the trial now.”

“What trial?” asked the boy in the red outfit.

“The monsters, I assume. An evil presence radiates from inside this chapel.”

He wasn’t lying. The temple was normally under a holy presence, but he could sense monsters lurking about. Since Kratos was pretending to be a mercenary, he figured flaunting this knowledge might prove useful. He needed to show off a little so they’d let him guard the Chosen.

As expected, the old woman seemed impressed by his analysis and turned to face him.

“Yes, that is correct. The Chosen is to receive judgment from heaven. But the priests that were to accompany her fell at the hands of the Desians.”

Kratos’ mouth twitched at the word “Desian.” I see, so the rats are doing a good job at hiding who they really are. But what good would killing the priests do if they just left the Chosen alive anyway? It seems like their leader’s habit of never being able to do anything right rubbed off on his subordinates.

“Then I’ll take on the job of protecting Colette.”

All of a sudden, the boy in the red outfit cut in between Kratos and the old woman. So the Chosen’s name is Colette. Kratos couldn’t believe how ridiculous the request the boy made was. He was probably self-taught, but the way he wielded his dual blades was hard to watch. Kids can really have way too much confidence sometimes.

“Lloyd? ...I would be uneasy with just you.”

Hearing this, Kratos’ entire body jumped. He whipped his head around to look at Lloyd, this time really studying his features.

The image of his lost baby son popped into his head. It was as if the memories he had tried so hard to bury came bursting out the door of his recollections.

Fifteen years ago, he had a family. It was him, his dearest wife Anna, and their son, Lloyd.

But his son is dead. By all means, he should be dead. He was 3 at the time, and had he survived, he would be the same age as the boy he sees here, but...

“Your name is Lloyd?”

“Yeah, but who are you to ask for my name?”

Lloyd gave Kratos a sharp look.

Fifteen years had passed since then. There’s no way he’d know for sure. Children grow fast, and their faces totally change. And Lloyd was only 3 at the time; there’s no way he’d even remember him. Really, he had no proof that this boy was his son, Lloyd.

As if to escape Lloyd’s gaze, Kratos turned back to the old woman. His mission took priority right now.

“...I am Kratos, a mercenary. As long as you can pay me, I’ll accept the job of guarding the Chosen.”

The old lady sighed and nodded.

“...Under the circumstances, I have little choice. Please be of service.”

“It’s a deal, then.”

Kratos nodded back at her. That was a relief. Now he could guard the Chosen. That’s the most he could do. He started walking alongside the Chosen, Colette.

“W-Wait! I’m going, too!”

Lloyd ran after them.

“Lloyd, you’ll only get in the way. Be a good boy and wait here.”

Hearing Kratos’ rejection, Lloyd’s face bubbled with anger.

“What did you say?!”

“Did I not make myself clear? You’re a burden. Go home.”

As if to prevent Lloyd from running his mouth further, the Chosen, Colette piped in.

“Um... Mr. Kratos, would it be okay to take Lloyd along, too?”

“But...”

“Please. I get nervous when Lloyd’s not around.”

There was a warm smile behind Colette’s words, and Kratos sighed. He figured the Chosen always stuck up for Lloyd like this. Well, it’s not like the monsters in the temple were that bad anyway.

“...Do as you wish.”

Kratos said this with his back turned to them and made his way towards the temple’s entrance. World regeneration can’t even begin until the first trial is cleared. And the Renegades will likely become a hindrance along the way. He really wanted to get this first trial over with, quickly.

“...Let’s go, Genis!”

“What?! I’m going, too?!”

“Of course!”

Kratos heard Lloyd and the silver-haired boy―Genis, apparently―bickering behind him.

He let out another sigh. Such a bustle brought back some memories of long, long ago.

“This isn’t a field trip, you know.”

While trying to conceal how pleased he was at the nostalgia he was experiencing from overhearing them, Kratos entered the temple.

Chapter 1: Part 3 of 6

The base of Cruxis, Derris-Kharlan, is a massive comet. The central part of the comet houses the residential area, Welgaia, as well as Vinheim, Mithos’ castle. It is rumored that a part of the facilities are recycled from when the ancient elves lived there, but the details are not fully made clear. Even among the Angel Class, only a tiny portion know the truth behind it, so there is no way that Pronyma―who is of the Desian Class―would know about it.

Holding such a massive celestial body in place above the earth would normally be impossible. What makes the impossible possible is a sword known as the Eternal Sword, which the Summon Spirit Origin gifted to Yggdrasill. This sword is capable of manipulating both space and time, so Yggdrasill used it to both split the world in two as well as hold Derris-Kharlan in place. Pronyma admires him, honoring him as such a magnificent person.

Though “respect” on its own doesn’t convey the magnitude of the feelings she holds towards him. Perhaps “affection” or even “yearning” fits the bill better. She finds Yggdrasill so awe-inspiring, and even finds herself attracted to him.

Half-elves are viewed as heretics just for existing. Humans fear them for their outstanding powers, while elves abhor them for having human blood. Among all of the people who live on earth, half-elves are considered the race that nobody loves; they’re considered the people in the middle, and are oppressed.

Pronyma was once a victim of such oppression. She was ridiculed, abused, and recruited as a weapon for battle due to her abilities. Had Yggdrasill not saved her from such a fate, she likely would have met her end on the battlefield, never seen as more than a weapon. Yggdrasill is a savior in Pronyma’s eyes, and he is her hero for trying to make a world for half-elves to live in. She would do anything if it meant helping him. Being used by him is enough to make her happy.

Pronyma is currently working as one of the Five Grand Cardinals, which commands over the Desian Class.

Cruxis is made up of two classes: the Angel Class, who are given hi-Exspheres―Cruxis Crystals, and the Desian Class, who are given regular Exspheres instead. The Desians operate to terrorize the people while the angels instill an offering of peace to them via spreading the word of the Church of Martel. Between the both of them, they have full control over the hearts of mankind.

Those in the Desian Class are given all sorts of jobs. They always operate in the declining world. By doing so, the people in the declining world will pray for salvation, while the people in the prospering world will fear their eventual decline. This setup ensures that both worlds turn their prayers to and rely on the Church of Martel.

Just recently, the Tower of Salvation appeared in the declining world, Sylvarant, marking the beginning of World Regeneration. Though describing it as “appearing” is a tad misleading―the tower is always there, it’s just hidden behind a sort of shield so that people in the declining world can’t see it. To ensure that the two separated worlds aren’t sucked up into the dimensional rift between them, there are two points in which the worlds hold contact with one another. One of these is the Tower of Salvation. The top of the Tower of Salvation is connected to Derris-Kharlan, and it’s used to allow the angels and the Desians to communicate with one another.

What made the tower visible is that Sylvarant's Chosen of Regeneration had embarked on her journey to become Martel’s vessel. Pronyma needs to hold a meeting with an administrator in Welgaia in order to move the Desian Class into action. This is just a practice that’s held every time a Journey of Regeneration begins, but to Pronyma, it means something more. It’s an exciting time, where she is able to closer visit the place where Yggdrasill resides.

Pronyma used the transporter to teleport from the Tower of Salvation to Welgaia. However, the angel that was normally there to give her the order was nowhere to be found.

“I was under the impression I was to receive orders from Lord Kratos.”

Pronyma inquired this to the gatekeepers by the teleporter, and one of them replied to her.

“Lord Kratos is currently on Sylvarant on a mission. I regret to inform you that you will not be able to meet with him.”

“Lord Kratos is down on Sylvarant?!”

Pronyma couldn’t help her face from warping with fury.

“What is the meaning of this? He is a traitor, who defected from us 70 years ago. Mi... Lord Yggdrasill may have forgiven him, but to think he would be permitted to go down to earth!”

“Not another word, Pronyma.”

“...I know. It is not my place as one in the Desian Class to speak poorly of one of the Four Seraphim.”

Still, Pronyma couldn’t accept this. Sylvarant was where Kratos fled to when he betrayed Cruxis so long ago. When he was eventually accepted back into Derris-Kharlan, he was forbidden from going back down there.

Pronyma never liked Kratos. He’s the only human among the Angel Class. Him being a human was irritating enough, but he’d also taken advantage of Yggdrasill’s trust and betrayed him without warning. He disapproved of the Age of Lifeless Beings and left the organization. In the end, all he’d accomplished was finding a lover, having a child and playing make-believe at having a family. All he did was run away from reality. The damage he did to Yggdrasill from his silly game of playing house was immeasurable. Pronyma saw his suffering up close, and due to this, she started to seriously distrust Kratos.

“Pronyma. The messenger has arrived.”

A gatekeeper called to her and Pronyma turned to look at the central part of Welgaia. Amidst the soulless looking angels silently floating about, she saw a messenger angel headed her way. But it wasn’t one of Kratos’ messengers. Based on the color of the band on the arm, it was one of Yggdrasill’s.

“On Lord Yggdrasill’s orders?!”

The unexpected development had Pronyma’s heart pounding out of her chest, and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

Pronyma wasn’t in a position that allowed her to see Yggdrasill very often. The last time she had seen him was when Kratos shamelessly came back 15 years ago.

Pronyma was determined to not let Yggdrasill suffer like that again, and she vowed to do whatever it took to ensure that.

[umbry-fic]

Epitaxy

Summary:

Cursed to be the saviour, she wonders if she must walk eternally alone.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia

Characters: Colette Brunel

Relationships: Colette Brunel & Lloyd Irving

Rating: G

Word Count: 5584

Mirror Link: AO3

Original Post Date: 29/08/2024

Notes:

Written for the TOS 21st anniversary celebration! Happy birthday Symphonia! 🎉 (This is the furthest thing from the theme of "celebration" haha but I wanted to write my favourite character :P)

Something of a Colette character study, written to Empurple by Harumaki Gohan. There is a slight canon divergence regarding Colette's illness. More notes are in the endnotes on AO3.

~~~

The world had fallen away from her unfeeling fingertips, numbness creeping up her skin like an insidious creature, seeking to devour her whole. Her mouth tasted like ash, her heart coldly silent in her chest, so much so that it could be mistaken to have shrivelled and died. Rays of sunlight danced cheerfully across the room, but they seemed so oddly far away, their warmth unable to reach her. An unbearable pressure was building up inside of her, but when she opened her mouth to let it rush out of her, she found that it got stuck in her throat, her lips unable to utter a single sound.

Her entire body beginning to tremble, she raised her gaze to the mirror she knew hung on the other end of the inn room, already certain of the sight that would face her.

Red eyes met her gaze.

Colette shot awake, blanket clutched close to her chest as she panted, panic squeezing tight around her heart as she struggled to get air into her lungs.

She had no desire to find the same mirror that had starred in her nightmare, hanging tauntingly on the opposite wall and encroaching into the corner of her vision, reflecting her terrified form. But she had to know - and thus, keeping her gaze firmly rooted to the floor, she silently got off the bed and padded over with hesitant steps, her breaths still rattling in her chest and threatening to overwhelm her.

Heart pounding in her ears, she jerkily raised her head, bracing herself for what awaited her.

Blue. Her eyes were still blue. The same as they were when she checked every morning after waking up and every night before going to bed.

All the breath rushed out of her, and she gingerly placed a hand against her reflection. Her mirror image didn't waver at all, nor did it dissipate like a mirage crafted just to dangle false hope over her head. Her wide blue eyes didn't darken and dissolve into red - they remained the very shade she'd been born with.

Just a dream, she told herself, in an attempt to calm her rapid breathing. It was then that she noticed that the glass against her palm, which should have held the early morning’s chill, didn’t register at all against her skin. Neither did the smooth wooden panels against her bare feet. There was only the faint echo of sensation, a prickling like the cold was attempting to force its way past a nigh-impervious barrier.

Turning her hand over, she sighed, watching her Cruxis Crystal wink in the morning sunlight as she shifted away from the mirror. One of those days, then.

“Colette?” A voice blearily called out her name, a messy head of brown hair slowly finding its way out of the mess of the covers she’d made in her flight from the bed. “Is something wrong?” Lloyd asked, holding back a yawn, sleepy russet eyes blinking at her.

For a moment, she was tempted to say nothing. But…

Redirect, Zelos had sighed the last time they'd seen each other, reluctantly giving her advice as he slumped over a table, the shared weight of her secret, heavy but brittle, resting in the space between them.

“Bad dream is all,” she whispered, her shaky voice easily carrying over the silence.

It wasn’t a lie.

Just not the full truth.

“Come here,” he offered readily, his gaze flooded with so much affection that she couldn’t help but look away, guilt raking its claws over the walls of her heart. The boy she loved wore his heart on his sleeve, and he was not at all aware of the complicated web of deception she had once again spun around him as she continued to pull the wool over his eyes. Nails digging into her arm, she wanted nothing more than to confess the truth, to ease the vice grip over her heart. But as always, the words stuck in her throat, growing thorns that lodged themselves into flesh.

Even now, she couldn't live true to herself.

Still, she gladly clambered into his open arms, his familiar embrace calming her as she buried her face in his chest, grasping for the tiny fragments of warmth she could salvage. His presence was comforting - that was a single truth that would never change. Fingers ran through her hair as his lips brushed against her forehead, his gentle touch slowly soothing her, even as she was stabbed in the heart with a dozen broken shards.

As she took his hand, she prayed that one day, he might understand.

~~~

When she’d stepped out of the Seal of Fire and into the arid desert, leaving behind crumbling rocks and a smothering sense of heat that had been relentless, she didn’t realise she’d left behind something else among the endless, smouldering lava, lost forever.

Agony had held her in its clawed grip as she struggled to draw breath, what felt like burning hot metal pressed against her chest. Sleep was the furthest thing from her mind that night, and she gasped a sigh of relief at the peek of the morning sun over the dunes of sand, for with the gentle touch of sunlight left the pain, leaving her hollowed out but alive.

It was only once the sun said farewell once more, sinking below the horizon, that she was able to place a finger on what had been missing for the entire day as she walked alongside everyone else, seeing nothing at all as she retreated into her thoughts. The gradual pull of fatigue had been absent, leaving her wide awake even as darkness set in. Sleep had been a constant, if unnoticed, companion all her life, and it had simply vanished within moments, leaving her to stare at Kratos’ still back under the brilliant light of the stars as he sat guard and she feigned sleep.

Quietly, she told herself it was a good thing. It meant she would never again be plagued by nightmares of her possible failure, of all the people she would have condemned to suffer if she didn't complete this Journey. It meant she had more time at night to let her gaze rove over the friends she held dear, who she would inevitably have to let go of when she ascended the Tower. Her gaze lingered on Lloyd - the unruly flop of his fringe over his eyes that could never be tamed, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the soft expression on his face as he slept.

Just a little more time to memorize that which was precious to her.

As the days passed, bone-deep exhaustion settled in every inch of her body, unable to be alleviated by the solace of sleep. While her eyelids didn't feel heavy, her head did, like her brain was stuffed full of cotton wool, liable to leak out of her ears. She passed the nights counting the stars, staving off thoughts about all the ways she was inadequate. Already, she was so far from the perfect image of the Chosen that existed in everyone's minds. A lost cause from the very beginning, no matter how many times the priests chastised her, for it seemed nothing could mould her into that perfect figure that everyone wished to see.

Unbidden, her thoughts turned to an old memory. Of waking her father up as a small child, no longer able to remember the bad dream that had so rudely torn her from the gentle embrace of sleep, but still shaken, tears welling in her eyes. Before everything had changed, before she’d learned to hide her emotions and draw away from those around her even as she stood right next to them, to tuck away anything that could be considered undesirable.

Suddenly blinking away tears that never came, she was glad that they had been taken from her, if only so they could not give her lie away.

With the chilly night air that made her shiver and the stars as her only company, she passed the night alone.

~~~

She’d denied it, at first, the hints of green speckled on her shoulder the more pressing issue. She'd brushed off the gradual wavering of her senses as nothing, firmly pushing it into a tiny box in her mind that didn’t need to be opened. Nights when she couldn't sleep were simply because of worry, keeping her up and unwilling to give her a break. Meals she couldn't taste must be because of anxiety. Days when the touch of her peers faded to a whisper of warmth…

As the green scales continued to spread down her arm, each inch of skin it took hostage radiating a burning pain, she kept quiet. There were more important things to be done! Like reuniting the two worlds, putting a stop to Cruxis’ machinations, and ensuring no one else had to suffer. Compared to what everyone else was going through, her own problems were minuscule.

Even after her affliction was exposed to everyone, as she shied away in shame, clutching her arm close to her side, she said nothing. She was already worrying all of them enough, making them run around the two worlds, wasting time just to find a cure for her. This would surely go away once she was cured, so there was no need to tell them.

None of them suspected a thing. The genuine joy that had bloomed in her heart when she’d first wrenched free of the prison her soul had been trapped within had been enough to convince them that the loss of her senses had been put far behind them, even as that joy withered.

After all, it had been enough to convince her as well. The soft brush of the wind against her skin, the patter of raindrops against her palms as she’d raised them to the sky, the food she had practically shovelled down during dinner, the taste enough to bring her to tears… It had been enough to convince her, for a short time, that it was over. That she could be…

It's your own fault, her voice echoed in her ears when she stared into the mirror, watching herself get consumed by scales that glinted in the light of the dawn, reminding her of the Cruxis crystal attached to her neck, no longer able to be removed, a constant reminder of the role she had played.

Surely this was punishment for her failure. For abandoning her duty, for hesitating at the final sacrifice. For even daring to think that she was allowed to be happy. An imperfect weakling, through and through.

All she could do was endure.

~~~

She frowned when she raised the fork with spaghetti wound around it to her lips. It tasted like nothing, its texture like cardboard against her tongue. Across from her, Lloyd was grimacing and eating around the chunks of tomato like his life depended on it, loudly complaining all the while and barely avoiding spitting chunks of food into Genis’ face as Genis frowned at him. The sight, and the usual consequences (namely Professor Raine smacking Lloyd on the head with a rolled-up textbook) were usually enough to elicit a smile, but now all they did was light an uncomfortable flame in her heart, licking at its walls.

So this was the next thing to be sacrificed, then.

When Lloyd ran over to her and offered her the tomatoes, as he’d been doing since they were children, she took them from him, telling him that he didn’t need to take her bell peppers anymore. Ignoring his surprised blink and the slow furrowing of his brows, she forced down the tomatoes he’d left behind on the plate, feeling each piece as they dragged painfully against her throat. Her free hand held onto his tightly, refusing to let go, clinging to his gentle warmth.

She could still remember the moment she’d first tasted bell peppers as a small child. Her grandmother had packed her lunch for a long afternoon spent entirely with the priests memorising the scriptures, having to endure their barbed tongues whenever she stumbled over a verse. She’d sat down on one of the pews, shoulders slumped in exhaustion, before sitting ramrod straight when she felt a glare settle on her. Shakingly taking one bite of her lunch, she’d promptly choked and spat out the accursed slice, unable to stand its texture against her tongue.

The priests had not been happy. To be picky over food was too petty a thing for the Chosen, they had said with those severe expressions drawn on their faces, reminding her of the leering monsters that crept in dark shadows in scary stories. Think of the people who had laboured over the fields to grow this produce, who had shed sweat under the vicious sun, while the threat of the Desians hung over their heads all the while. To refuse to eat the food that had come from those efforts would be like spitting on it, like forsaking the gratitude of the people she would save.

It was not fitting behaviour for the Chosen.

So this was a good thing, she decided on the days to come, as she accepted new meals from whoever was cooking that day, uncaring of what it contained as she forced down all that she could. There was no longer any need to be picky when everything tasted the same.

She could finally live up to those virtues that had been hammered into her skull since she was young, which had always been out of reach, no matter how much she chased after them with her hand outstretched.

Because without that, she had nothing at all.

~~~

“Couldn’t sleep?” Zelos’ casual voice broke the silence of the night as he slid smoothly onto the stool next to hers at the otherwise empty dinner table.

She swallowed, realising she hadn’t heard him coming at all, as lost in thought as she had been. Over the flickering flame of the candle that had been burning all throughout the night, valiantly keeping the shadows to the corners of the mansion, his piercing gaze rested on her, causing her fingers to tighten on the handle of her cup. A cup of coffee that she knew was hot, but was barely warm in her hands.

“You're really not going to tell anyone?” he asked, leaning forward, their respective Cruxis crystals reflecting the waning light, the tone of his voice telling her exactly what he was talking about. The tension leaked from her shoulders, and she sighed. Figures he would be the one to catch her in the act.

It might have been easy to pass him off as nothing more than a lazy, arrogant young man, but behind that facade was a highly observant person who had also worn the mantle of Chosen, who had witnessed the ugliness that hid behind the shiny veneer of the title.

“You didn't either,” she whispered. It was not an accusation, nor a judgement. Simply an observation.

Sheena had told her about the orange wings that had shone on his back in the darkness of the Tower. And that would mean he’d endured the very same process she had - slowly losing everything, and yet keeping it all under wraps, a secret cradled close to the chest. He'd done it alone, spent the sleepless nights awake without letting anything slip.

“You're right, I didn't.” The smile that sliced across his face was bitter and tired, a far cry from his usual smirk. “But you could say there were… extenuating circumstances.”

She sucked in a breath, feeling the cold of steel against her bare neck, and shoved those memories far away.

“I will tell him.” She hated how weak her voice sounded to her own ears, even though she wasn’t painting yet another lie. She wanted to tell Lloyd, with her own words, without needing to have the truth dragged out of her like a chain, link by painful link. She wanted to place her trust in him, like he’d told her to, for she knew he would never betray it. “Just….”

It was so difficult to push the words onto her tongue, to ignore the tiny voice that still whispered in the back of her mind that her suffering was hers alone to endure.

“I know.”

She stared at the steam rising from her cup, and they both lapsed into silence. A moment of commiseration between two liars who had never learned how to stop lying, who found it nearly impossible to bare their souls, fearing a retribution that would never come.

Two smiling fools, through and through.

“You don’t have to stay up with me, you know.”

“I really can’t sleep.” Zelos waved off her protest, and she smiled gratefully at him, even knowing the reason he couldn’t shut his eyes was because of the vivid images that would flash behind his eyelids when he did, haunting him even now, months after the worlds had been reunited. She had experienced the same, after all.

It was the simple matter that her heart now felt just a little lighter, the weight of her secret shared between two souls.

~~~

Stumbling out of the Balacruft Mausoleum, she heaved a sigh of relief, having once more successfully driven off the assassin that kept popping up along their Journey. She wished to know what fueled the determined spark in the assassin’s amber eyes, so that they might come to an understanding and lay down their weapons. She had no desire to shed any unnecessary blood.

“Colette!”

She turned as Lloyd’s voice reached her ears, eyes widening when she nearly lost her balance and fell. It was then that she realised he was holding her hand in his.

When… had he taken her hand? She hadn’t even noticed. Had he been holding it the entire time? How… hadn’t she…

“Your hand!” Lloyd exclaimed, worry written across his face, and she stared at the blood oozing from the cut in her palm. A wound she hadn’t even felt, would never have even realised she’d sustained if he hadn’t pointed it out.

Red leaked and leaked over her skin, and she found herself suppressing trembles as she was unable to tear her gaze away, even as he fussed over her. The dying embers of her soul scattered to the wind, pouring out of her from a crack that could not be sealed as she remained frozen in her own tiny world, an incessant buzzing in her ears. She had long since stopped resembling anything close to human - she was no longer even the girl who had walked out of Iselia, knowing she would never return.

Even as Lloyd refused to let go of her hand, she found that she could no longer feel his touch. Not the roughness of the calluses she had memorised long ago, not his fingers running soothingly over her knuckles, not his warmth which had never failed to make her feel safe. It had been locked away from her forever, and she could only struggle to remember the ghostly remnants of it, nothing but cold emptiness against her skin.

This was fine, she whispered to herself that night. It meant she could no longer feel pain from all the tiny scrapes and bruises she accrued from her various trips and falls. She would no longer have to bite her lip to stop herself from crying out in pain, rapidly wiping away tears with her arm so no one would see. It was…

Curling into a tiny ball, she screwed her eyes shut, all the lies she had told nipping relentlessly at her heels.

~~~

It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried telling him. There were so many instances when she had tried, when she had opened her mouth only to stumble at the finish line. When she’d taken a bite of the lunch they’d prepared together while camping in the forest and found it bland against her tongue. When he’d rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stretched his back while she sat calmly, having counted the stars all night. When she’d tripped and he’d caught her, the two of them nearly toppling over, his arms securely wrapped around her waist, his warmth failing to reach her.

She had tried, and tried, and tried, in a way she never had before. To clumsily get the words out, to explain that the Angel with eyes the colour of blood had never left, looming behind her at all moments with a cold hand on her shoulder, grip so tight it hurt.

But he always seemed so happy.

So light, the weight that he’d carried with him for the final leg of their journey having been lifted, scattering into tiny motes of stardust. His smiles were bright as he explored this newly reunited world, awe and wonder clear on his face as he helped as many people as he could, all while collecting Exspheres at a steady pace, moving ever onward towards his goal.

(There were, of course, still nights when he awoke gasping, eyes wide and seeing something else entirely, his hands twitching for his swords. She would hold his hand on those nights and hum softly under her breath, running her fingers through his hair until he relaxed.)

And, every time, she would close her mouth, swallowing the words.

She didn’t want to weigh him down. To hold him back in any way. To shatter that joy with something as trivial as what she was facing. After all, it was nowhere near as bad as it was before!

On most days, she could enjoy the warmth of his embrace. On most days, she could fall into the thoughtless escape of sleep, letting all of her anxieties dissipate. On most days, she could taste the sweetness of fruits, coming to rest on her tongue. On most days -

Whenever her thoughts raced in this direction, she would forcefully bring it to a stop, letting her excuses run right into a brick wall. She could at least admit to herself that it wasn’t alright, not at all. That she was once more drowning as she painstakingly maintained the perfect facade, waiting and waiting for the day the forming cracks got too wide. Terror that she was doomed to slip back into that prison roiled within her - a wild, vicious beast, clawing away endlessly at her insides. Old guilt over her perceived failure as Chosen still refused to die, hissing in a discordant chorus that this was already a merciful punishment - she deserved so much worse.

Holding close the memory of a little girl who had so easily opened her heart, she would sit silent, reminding herself not to lie to her own self anymore. At the very least, she could do that much.

~~~

Lloyd had dug and dug, refusing to give up, until he had finally dragged the truth from her. The ugly, bleeding truth, once more leaving her hollow, her heart having been scooped out of her chest long ago. But somehow, he hadn’t glared at her in disgust, even knowing now what she’d become, knowing that something had broken permanently inside of her. He had only pulled her closer, and she had -

Her throat had burned, and she’d wanted so badly to cry, for reasons she couldn’t understand. But she could admit that it was nice, for someone else to know. For there to be someone helping to cover for her, so that she didn’t need to pretend so much to be sleeping, or eating. For a few moments, she could release the mask and let it drop to the dirt, and simply be. Now there was someone who really knew, who could pull her back when her mind drifted away into that endless void. She was so exhausted, whole minutes slipping between her fingers sometimes when she couldn’t recall what she’d just been doing.

The fourth seal stole her voice, and swaying unsteadily outside the Tower of Mana, she barely restrained herself from scratching at the pale skin of her neck, hoping that it would somehow free what had been taken from her. With her voice permanently dead in her throat, there was no longer any hiding her condition from the rest of her companions. The veil had been ripped to shreds, leaving her vulnerable.

There was no rejection to be found there either. Only compassion and even anger, all for her sake, so passionate and warm as it washed over her, patching the cracks in her soul. It was a kindness she didn’t deserve nor understand, but she craved it nonetheless, cherishing it as she counted down the days till which she would have to climb the endless stairway to Heaven.

Still, she concealed the final piece of the puzzle, knowing she had to keep it hidden at all costs. That was a truth that no one else could know - it was a truth that she could no longer even reveal, no longer having the words to do so, even if the temptation was there.

Slipping from her inn room in Hima after speaking a farewell for each of her friends in her thoughts, she gave the stars that had kept her company for the past months a final glance, before taking the first step towards the Tower that loomed in the distance.

~~~

She giggled when the little puppy licked her hand, its rough tongue leaving a trail of sticky saliva behind. Not at all minding the mess, she petted its head with her clean hand, ruffling its brown fur as its tail rapidly wagged. Next to her on the bench, Lloyd grinned and leaned back against steady wood, content to watch her as the gentle breeze caressed their skin.

“Bye, puppy!” She waved farewell to the dog as it padded away. It was so cute! The ways its ears flopped, its soft fur… There hadn’t been time to come up with a name for it yet, but if she and Lloyd came across the same dog tomorrow, she would certainly do so!

Turning her head to once more squeal over the puppy to Lloyd, she met his warm gaze, and… And all of a sudden, she found that she didn’t want to lie anymore. She didn’t want it hanging over her head constantly, creeping into her thoughts during peaceful moments like this one, casting a cloud over her cheerfulness as she suddenly found it impossible to breathe.

“Lloyd? I… I have something I need to tell you,” she whispered, taking his hand, watching his expression go from curious to worried, likely finding this situation very familiar. Even as she sat silent, slowly mulling over the words she was attempting to string together, he didn’t say a word, occasionally squeezing her hand to remind her that he was right there beside her, ready to listen.

The unrelenting fear from before was still there, rearing its ugly head and beginning its final vicious struggle. Fear that something terrible would happen, that this was still her fault, really, that she should just shut her mouth and endure like she’d always had. But it was easier to pin the emotion down, to take a deep breath and step past it, for she could vividly picture Lloyd’s reaction - he would call her an idiot for keeping any of this from him, and then he would do his very best to help her. Because he loved her, even if it had taken a while for that to sink in and become fact in her mind.

Perhaps he would be angry that she’d kept this from him for so long, lied and concealed as if her life had depended on it when she’d promised she wouldn’t do it again. But she could deal with what came after. Once she was finally free, once she had eased the burden she’d carried, once she knew, with full certainty, that she would never need to let go of that which was precious to her.

She wanted to be the one to speak the truth this time, instead of having to hiss it through gritted teeth. To finally break the cycle.

So she pushed past the lump in her throat, letting the first word fall from her lips. Clumsy, messy, unrefined. But it was a start.

The rest would follow.

~~~

With her heart locked in chains, all she could do was curl into a tiny ball, no longer bothering to suppress the tremors that wracked her entire body.

She had all the time in the world to think, watching through red eyes as her body moved without her input. The world seemed so far away, muted and quiet, and so she pulled further away in the opposite direction, inch by inch, something shuttering in her heart. All that swirled in her mind were not the memories she had wished to cherish before she had set out for what she had known to be her final journey, but rather the events of the last few months.

Everything that she had lost, her entire self gradually, excruciatingly being carved out of her, for this. She had thought what awaited her was death, but surely this was worse. Unable to die, all of her thoughts stuck in a never-ending loop in her head as she slowly faded away, endlessly facing her failures, reflected in the floor of the Tower of Salvation, and carrying the legacy of a dozen other girls, staring at her with dead eyes and wings that had lost their light long ago.

What appeared in her mind was the young girl who had been so open with her feelings, who had freely sought the company and comfort of others, who hadn’t hesitated to speak the truth. That girl was long dead - she had personally sunk the knife into her heart and scattered the tiny pieces into the night, murdering her old self in pursuit of the perfect Chosen who she could never find.

Yet she was all she could think of now.

She’d been such a fool. Who had she really been lying to all this time?

~~~

She couldn’t breathe, the air freezing in her lungs as blood congealed in her throat. Her wings, usually weightless, now felt like they were pulling her to the monochrome earth. An Angel, chained to the ground, unable to fly -

Someone shook her awake, her breaths coming rapidly, one after another, tumbling into each other until they all got tangled together. She couldn’t see much through her blurry vision, just a smudge of vibrant colours that was a stark contrast to the images that had flown through her mind just moments before. A hand gently brushed the tears from her cheeks as a voice calmly talked, all while she simply breathed, returning to a steady rhythm instead of the stuttering mess it’d been before.

“It was just a dream,” Lloyd whispered into her hair as she opened her eyes once more, his arms lowering to wrap around her - an impregnable wall that would always protect her. “You’re alright now.”

Taking a few more deep breaths, she leaned into his touch, resting her cheek against his shoulder. Warm, though it was a little muted.

“How is it today?” he asked, because he always did nowadays whenever she awoke violently from a nightmare. It was a routine they’d both become used to. Her sense of touch was the most volatile, and it tended to fluctuate with her mood. It was useful for him to know if it had gotten particularly bad, so he could keep a watchful eye for the things she tended to miss whenever it dipped below a certain threshold - the small scrapes she sometimes accrued from innocuous activities, or the larger injuries that she might not realise she’d sustained from when they stumbled into an unavoidable battle.

The tender manner with which he tended to her wounds - carefully bandaging a deep cut, or applying ointment to a small scrape - always made her heart clench in her chest as gratitude welled in her heart. He never begrudged her for wasting time, never complained, even when she was the one to bring up how it was an inconvenience. Only bumped her shoulder with his, telling her with great conviction that he really didn’t mind.

On the worst days, when all her senses went haywire and everything was too loud, each little sound blaring in her ears like a siren, he would sit with her and keep her company, gently refusing her insistence that she was fine to move on. And on the best days, he would initiate contact as much as possible - the curling of warm fingers against her own, the brush of soft lips against her forehead, the safety of an arm around her bare shoulders - giving her more to remember on days when she felt endlessly cold.

“A seven?” she replied, pressing her hand against his to gauge if the number was accurate. “I don’t think it’ll get any worse.”

Nodding, he opened his mouth to say something more - only to let out a massive yawn that made her giggle. “We… can rest for a little while longer.”

Still giggling, she snuggled closer to him, amused to find that he had fallen asleep mere moments after those words had left his mouth. Letting her eyelids flutter shut, she pressed her ear to his chest. Wrapped in a gentle embrace, she drifted off to the steady sound of his heartbeat.

In this moment, she was loved.

[frayed-symphony]

Once upon a time I had a Tales of Symphonia OC called Reimi.

It was the early noughties. I was a teenager obsessed with 2 things - Tales of Symphonia and Full Metal Alchemist. I had seen on my favourite website at the time; DeviantART, that people would sometimes self-insert themselves into their favourite shows/games and even though I'd thought about it before, I loved these two things so much I finally decided to do the same and 'Reimi' was born.

She was my ideal version of how I looked and because I was being bullied almost every day at school, the world of Symphonia in particular was a great comfort to me. Anytime I had a particularly bad day I started to draw Reimi.

I did have one real life friend, my best friend from primary school and we'd chat on the phone every night. I convinced her to play ToS with me and the two of us fell down this rabbit hole and I made her an OC too. We called her Beatrix and she was Reimi's older sister. It was your typical 'human girls fall into fantasy world and crush on their favourite character' story. I liked Lloyd and my friend liked Kratos. We would roleplay them together and write stories for each others birthdays and Christmases. It got me through the horrible things happening at school.

In time we started to make other characters. I decided I wanted Reimi to have a summon spirit - a polar bear called Meikai who could change between human and bear form. My friend had a similar 'devil' summon, Kainashi and I started to draw them as well. (Totally stole this from Sheena but it was very fun)

The final character we designed was Harvey - he was the only one we tried to give a canonical link to Symphonia. He was the Prince of the Tethe'allan royal family and Hilda's brother. The reason you never saw him in the game, we reasoned, was because he didn't want to be a Prince and left to travel the world in secret. He runs into our heroines and becomes a part of the group. I also wanted to write some love triangle stories at that point so he has a crush on Reimi.

For a long time these characters were my whole life. They filled my brain and I would always be thinking of stories for them. The ToS characters always factored into these stories but I was too embarrassed to draw them or have anything romantic happening and that might have been because of the backlash I saw a lot of self-insert authors get. I kept my stories mostly off the internet.

But I kept drawing them as the years went on, even designing bosses and creatures for them to fight, this was one such creature - 'Malcolm' the robot. One of Rodyle's machines.

In time life got in the way. My friend and I didn't get to speak as much so the drawing motivation started to fizzle out.

I still thought and cared about these characters but there was no fresh ideas forming for them. As I got older I started to have less time for them.

This is the last drawing I ever made of them and though you might still see me draw Reimi from time to time, its been years since I drew any of the others.

I did use them for animation practise on my University course though

So that's where we are today. I had a lot of AUs for Reimi. You may have seen this potion shop picture before, it's one of my favourite ideas where Reimi is living in the slums in Meltokio, working to keep her family's store open by selling potions. It even got a Daily Deviation on deviantART! I'm sure most people didn't know it was a self-insert drawing.

Another idea I liked was Reimi being the daughter of Kvar. She's grown up in the human ranches (though largely away from their brutality) and Lloyd's group visit is a wake-up call to her that what her father and Cruxis are doing may be wrong.

I came up with way too many stories to list here.. but uh... maybe I did draw some Reimi/Lloyd art occassionally...

and thats all you're gonna see!!

Anyway I just wanted to revisit these characters since I've been doing that with my books this month. Maybe you already knew about this, maybe you didn't!! It's just a fun look into my teenage self. I am trying to draw a new outfit for Reimi now, to see how much I've improved drawing her. I hope I can post it soon.

Thanks for reading!

[baronaliswritingcorner]

TOS Replay Stray Thoughts #3 (Palmacosta Pt. 2/Thoda Geyser)

-Lloyd chewing out Dorr is very powerful – Scott Menville knocks it out of the park here – but much as everyone remembers “Don’t you start spewing the word “justice!” I hate that word!”, I always wondered where that came from. Yes, it’s easy to tie into his frustrations with empty platitudes surrounding racism and sacrifice, but remember that he’s still very naïve to the Journey of Regeneration’s true nature (let alone the existence of Cruxis) and thus he maintains a very black-and-white disposition towards the Desians. There’s the Iselia Human Ranch incident, yes, but “justice” isn’t one of the hollow excuses by given Iselia’s mayor/citizens, so it feels a little sudden.

Putting this way: we’re (successfully) roused by Lloyd taking action as everyone else keeps their heads down, but I always felt this particular outburst still feels a little undeveloped/early.

-Speaking of justice, ever notice the inconsistency with Dwarven Vow #7? In cutscenes it’s “goodness and love will always win”, but in the battle quote, it’s “justice and love will always win.” A localization error, perhaps, but I wonder if Lloyd’s second-hand embarrassment plays a role into his feelings over justice…?

-“My healing arts cannot save even one single life…?”

This line from Raine also struck me as a tad odd – yes, it’s meant to show her regret with Dorr breaking through the cold pragmatism she always displays, but it also implies a perceived inadequacy with her healing magic that’s never touched upon again. Always felt like a clumsy attempt add another layer of depth to a already tragic scene. - “And…if you somehow find a way to save my wife…please, help her return to her human form. When my daughter comesback, I don’t want her to be all alone…” Oh no…we save his wife much, much later, but Clara’s the one who ends up all alone. And we never see her reaction to her family’s death. How sad…

-It’s sorta funny how key items randomly drop into your lap early on, but I guess the Desians WOULD be carrying that Hakonesia Peak pass, huh? Throwing around their murderous weight as they travel to and fro, I’d imagine.

-Magnius is pretty boring – the other Cardinals usually have something going on but he’s just there to screech “vermin” in that generic bad dude voice of his while twirling his non-existent mustache. He’s not much better in the anime – ever notice he just straight up disappears after Colette’s hypnotic Holy Song? – but the manga’s interesting in how he divulges Raine and Genis’s half-elf identities. (In the game, he just mentions how they “can’t let go of their elven blood” – which, to its credit, does tie into Raine’s assurance to Genis that “we’re not like them – we’re different.”)

-Raine sure is worldly, but how is she so familiar with magitechnology? Might it have something to do with her time in Tethe’alla? Hmm…how many times did she play with the self-destruct button over there?

-Check out that highly disappointing ranch explosion – the prowess of Gamecube graphics right there LOL

-The washtubs are a perfect symbol of Sylvarant’s…uh, antiquatedness. Prime comedy, right here. Poor Raine, having to endure low-budget tourism…twice over!

-wait how did Noishe fit in the washtubs

-“Even I make mistakes. I made a terrible one…”

Laying it on a little thick, aren’t ya, Kratos???

(Actually, that reminds me: did you ever notice how the PS3 port removed ellipses wholesale across the script for whatever reason? Personally, they tend to play into the basic syntax I mentioned before with unvoiced dialogue, but as you can imagine, that “throw the baby out with the bathwater” approach leads to problems of its own.)

-killer starfish comin’ at ya and getting all slaphappy!!!

-this boss is the worst ugh I hate that bubble gun attack

-wait how’d they set up camp on that tiny hot spring

-“When you become an angel, I wonder if you'll go to the Tower of Salvation, too? If that's the case, we should just ask you after you go. I'm looking forward to your stories!”

oooooof

[darkhymns-fic]

The falling snow tells us, our love makes us strong

Months after escaping Welgaia, Lloyd Aurion and Colette Brunel are on the run from Cruxis. But a brief rest in Flanoir has them considering an important question: Why not get married?

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel, Altessa, Pronyma, Genis Sage Rating: T Word Count: 11,232 Mirror: AO3 Notes: It's Colloyd Day! So here is the art and fic collab me and @frayed-symphony have been working on for our Cruxis Lloyd AU. More notes about this fic are on the AO3 mirror. Thank you to everyone who joined in on today's event too! ✨

--

When they had arrived at Flanoir, it was the very first time that Lloyd had ever seen snow.

They hadn’t had much time to really explore the area, already searching for an inn. That and Lloyd had been looking at every passerby with suspicion. It was routine for Cruxis to instill agents into towns, but none gave them more than a passing glance. It was just the two of them, like any couple visiting for a holiday—or perhaps any pair of travelers embarking on a pilgrimage.

He thought he could even see the spire points of a cathedral, far ahead…

“Hey, Lloyd!”

He turned, a little wired from their travels but trying to shake it away. “Huh?”

“Here!” Colette giggled as she held out her cupped hands to him. Within those hands was snow she must have gathered as they walked into the town, pure white and just so cold. He could see her shiver from the touch, but she seemed to relish it. Her smile was ecstatic, the flush on her cheeks as pretty to him as the sunrise on this world.

Tentatively, he held out his hands, accepting the snow from her as it slid down from her palms to his. “Uh, what do I do with it?”

“You can use it to make a snowman. Or even a snowball!” She tilted her head, looking at the drifting flakes around them. “At least, that’s what the child from before told me, hehe. I don’t have much snow where I come from either.”

Lloyd looked down, already feeling so cold that his hands were becoming numb. Even though he still wore his gloves, his Exsphere winking from its place on the back of his left hand, he could still feel the chill wind cutting through the fabric—and still feel the warmth of Colette’s cheeks whenever he touched them.

He grinned, packing the snow more firmer between his palms. “I think I read about this once. You gotta make it like this!”

And before Colette could ask him, Lloyd had somehow made the snowball into a doggy-shaped snow sculpture instead. It had a snout, two floppy ears, and even a tail, indicated by the small nudges in the snow. It had been carved with dextrous fingers, its simplicity belying the little details Lloyd had accomplished with it.

“Wow! How did you…?”

“Pretty cool, huh?” Lloyd said with a smile, then carefully handed it to her. “It’s…probably gonna fall apart if you so much as breathe on it, but it’s for you!”

The little doggy did look as frail as anything, already a few flakes off the top of its head blowing along with the wind. But Colette held the snowdog carefully in her hands, cupping it just so that it could be safe, as well as comfortable.

Lloyd couldn’t help but be in awe at her consideration for what was just a silly thing he made. He chuckled slightly. “You don’t have to be that careful, Colette. I don’t want you to have to keep that thing around while we walk.”

At his words, Colette raised her head, blinking curiously. “But you made it for me, Lloyd. I’d like to keep it for a little longer, if that’s okay.”

Lloyd instantly flushed. Now he worried that he sounded like he was blaming her for her caution. “I mean, you still can! Just… uh, never mind.” Sometimes he still spoke so awkwardly… and maybe it was because someone like Colette was right in front of him, caring for something that wasn’t even a living creature.

She smiled at him, holding up the snow doggy, marveling at the little details that were already in danger of melting away. “He kinda looks like the dog you have… Noishe, right?”

Lloyd swallowed, remembering Noishe, shocked almost at how much he missed those high whines of him. “Heh, yeah. I guess I was thinking about him.”

Colette nodded. “Me too.” Her gaze lifted to the far south, past the snow-coated stairs that led further into town. “I heard this place had some famous ice sculptures. Maybe we can put Snoishe there and he can be with friends!”

Lloyd almost hadn’t caught it, waiting a full three seconds before asking Colette, “Snoishe?”

“Oh!” Colette giggled and flushed as well, the redness in her cheeks matching prettily with her hair. “Hehe, that’s what I named this little doggy. Is that too weird?”

“No way! It’s…it’s cute.” Lloyd brushed away the snowflakes from his hair, feeling it grow damp. Or maybe he just needed something to do with his hands. He could always make another snow dog. “Want to see those ice sculptures then?”

And as they climbed the stairs, Colette still holding her precious doggy charge while Lloyd made sure she wouldn’t slip on any icy surface, he couldn’t help but feel warm, even in such a cold place.

He hoped they’d stay safe here, at least for a little while.

.

.

.

Because it was only just a few days before, when they’d have to lay low within a strange home carved into the mountainside within the dark, hoping no one would track them down.

Hoping Cruxis had long lost their scent and was now searching for scraps of their existence.

Lloyd remembered heavy footfalls coming through the open door, his nerves still on high-alert. But Colette’s hand in his grip didn’t tighten, didn’t flinch at their visitor. He willed himself to calm down, raising his head towards the dwarf.

“Is it alright to come near?” asked Altessa.

“Uh, yeah,” Lloyd answered. He tightened his fingers around Colette’s, feeling nothing back. Both of them sat on a bed, the guest bedroom a generous offering from their host. “She won’t do anything.”

And how many people could Lloyd say would ever take in those such as them; a boy who knew so little of the worlds below, and a girl who couldn’t speak, couldn’t laugh or cry, but only gaze ahead?

The dwarf entered the room, his eyes hidden beneath heavy brows, his beard trailing nearly to the floor. Back in Welgaia, Lloyd had never seen a dwarf, had barely even known about their existence except in books. But ever since he and Colette had escaped, Lloyd had seen so many things, so many different people that were not just the impassive faces of angels.

He looked to what Altessa was holding in his grip. “What is…”

It glinted in the lamplight. At first glance, it looked like a necklace, but the characters written into it were so ancient that even Lloyd could barely read it. A looped chain trailed from the fashioned piece of metal, the links made in it so miniscule. It seemed that even a good tug would rip the thing apart, but Lloyd recalled what Kratos told him about dwarven craftsmanship.

“The Rune Crest, by what you and that girl from Mizuho were able to give me. The old Key Crest still lives on in this.” Altessa held the accessory facing upwards, and Lloyd remembered the red jewel that had been a part of the Key Crest that Colette used to own. He couldn’t help but notice how the jewel was the same color as Colette’s eyes...

“It was still very good work, with a strong foundation and a knowledge of the craft.” Altessa gave a nod, or Lloyd assumed he did. It was hard to tell through the thicket of hair that made up much of the dwarf’s face. “But without the right ingredients, such a necklace would have only stalled the inevitable. Was it yours?”

Lloyd hadn’t expected the question, momentarily stunned as if he had been struck over the head. “Uh–I, um…” He looked away, rubbing a thumb over Colette’s skin. “Another dwarf made it. Back in Sylvarant. His name is Dirk. I don’t know how to make things like that.”

Dirk had also been one of the first people Lloyd had met since escaping Welgaia. A man with a loud laugh, a shorter beard than Altessa’s, but his eyes had been more open, more friendly to his and Colette’s plight despite barely knowing them. He was also an old friend of Kratos.

How did dad even meet a guy like him? But it was a question he wasn’t getting an answer out of anytime soon. Kratos had been gone, continually trying to throw Cruxis off their trail. There had been no guarantee if he’d even see his father again, a father he still felt he barely knew.

Lloyd rubbed a hand over his forehead, feeling dizzy. Feeling oddly alone. Because Colette still wouldn’t hold back his hand.

“Ya haven’t eaten or slept in hours, boy,” spoke Altessa once more, his voice as gruff as rocks being grounded to a fine dust. “Let Tabatha treat you to some dinner, and I will work on affixing the Rune Crest.”

“Huh? But, I’m fine.” Yet even as he said it, he was already swaying, losing his balance, and—

And Colette held onto his hand, swiftly. To keep him from tumbling to the floor.

Lloyd stiffened, suddenly so wide awake. Any of the fatigue had vanished with a faint hope that was already lightening his chest. He quickly turned to Colette, who sat on his left side. “Colette? Are you–?”

When they had left Welgaia, they had only the clothes on their back. Seeing Colette against the soft lantern lights that hung from the wooden beams overhead, she still wore her Chosen outfit, white trimmed in a light blue that turned dusky in the atmosphere. Her hair still held a golden shine, and her other hand was placed limply over her lap.

Yet even as she held onto Lloyd, Colette only continued to look ahead, her eyes steeped in red emptiness. Her wings, also, were framed behind her like a faded stained-glass window.

In every other aspect, she didn’t move. She didn’t speak. She sat there, frozen, like a sculpture.

Had it only been reflex? Was it foolish for him to think it had been more? Lloyd felt the sudden hope in him melt away.

He felt another hand press against his shoulder, roughly. Fingers kneaded through the fabric to grab his attention. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Colette just yet.

“Does this mean she’s still in there?” he asked Altessa.

The dwarf took a moment to form his answer. That silence was already enough to tell Lloyd what he thought. Still, he spoke, “Many who succumb to their Exspheres react on their motor skills alone. She also has that ancient sickness.”

Lloyd knew what he meant. The patches of green crystal were still present on her, reaching up to her cheeks. It had worsened since when they first met.

There was always a chance that Altessa’s craftsmanship might not be enough.

“Go now. Or you will distract me from my work.”

You’re useless here. Lloyd heard the meaning between the words. He couldn’t deny it.

Lloyd stood up finally, letting go of Colette’s hand. Her fingers slipped from his so easily, her hand going to join with the other in her lap.

Maybe it had just been reflex, after all.

Lloyd left the room, his stomach hurting, and only hoped that Altessa could cure all of their problems.

.

.

.

It wasn’t long after they visited the ice sculptures, and Colette had placed little Snoishe next to one that was called Bigfoot, (and seemed kind of intimidating… Did these kind of monsters really live on the worlds below?) that Lloyd noticed something. Even though they were still outside, the snowfall not lessening, and the chill continuing to make them shiver, Colette started to take off her gloves. First by the top right of her left hand, pulling at the fabric until it was free.

When they had left Welgaia, her crystallis had worsened, taking over that certain hand completely, encased in glass that looked in danger of breaking into pieces at any moment. Though she kept up her smile, it was clear that she was in pain, her fingers too stiff to even move, the skin always threatening to crack.

But now her hand was clear of any crystal. She could flex her fingers into her palm. The only memory of the crystal left were a few lines of scars here and there, a dim pale white against peach.

With both ungloved hands, she cupped them to her mouth, breathing out. To warm them. 

He must have stared for too long, for she caught his gaze, her head raised and her blue eyes catching the brief sunlight that could pierce through the thick clouds. Her smile made him waver a bit, made him clear his throat as he tried to cover up the embarrassment.

“Hey, um, if you’re too cold we can go inside somewhere,” he said, hoping his voice wasn’t as shaky as it sounded in his ears. “We can try staying at one of those inns you mentioned before.”

Colette once again moved her fingers, blowing out another warm breath that turned to mist in the air. She paused, looking at her hands with curiosity.

This got Lloyd to worry, a frenzy of thoughts rushing through his head. Was there suddenly a lost sensation? Did the crystal sickness come back? He walked up to her before he could think. “Colette?

And then, without any hesitation, she reached for his own hand, clasping his right together with both of her own.

Lloyd stopped, flushed deeply, but said nothing else.

“I really am cold,” Colette said, but she said so with such joy that he could feel it in the way she gripped his hands, and could see it in the turn of her smile. Snowflakes caught onto her eyelashes, only some of it falling away with a blink. “And I’m so, so glad. I also feel my own breath when I try to warm them, and I can feel you now! I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to again…”

They hadn’t really talked about it before, their rush from Altessa’s home before Cruxis could find them again overtaking their thoughts. But Lloyd rushed a thumb over Colette’s own, feeling her shiver, then clasping their hands more tightly together.

“I promise you’ll never have to go through that again.” Another brief gust of wind blew past them, whipping up their cloaks around their bodies. Lloyd shuddered a bit at how the cold bit at his ears. “And, I think we should definitely head inside somewhere. I don’t want you to suddenly get sick just after getting your sense of touch back.”

Colette giggled, taking his grip more firmly, entwining their fingers together while she let one of her hands fall to her side. “Can we keep holding hands as we walk? If that’s okay.”

Lloyd did all he could to not grin like an idiot, but by the stretch of his cheeks, he had already failed hard. He didn’t care. “Heh, yeah, I’ll keep you warm then! You can count on me!”

If he had been back in Welgaia, someone (like Kratos) would have told him to tone down his voice. How one didn’t need to shout, or show such emotions so freely. But Colette absorbed his excitement with a glow on her face, giggling along with him as they went back to the stairs that led to the different levels of the town. 

Lloyd tried to recall where the inn was exactly. Didn’t we pass by it before? He was about to lead them down, until Colette gave a little tug with their interlocked hands. 

“Hey, Lloyd. Do you see that? It looks so beautiful.”

She was looking upwards, just past a lamppost they were standing under, the light inside its glass container flickering. He followed her gaze, past the light, blinking away the snowflakes that flurried around them both.

It was only then that Lloyd suddenly realized how close they were to that cathedral, its spires reaching high into the rapidly darkening sky. Though it was up another flight of stairs, he could now clearly see its architecture. Dark stone cut walls that steeply climbed, its rooftops covered in several inches of snow. But what made it fascinating were the myriad of colors that reflected off its many windows. From sharp crimson to ever gentle green, and what little left of the sunlight making such colors shimmer before them. 

It was beautiful, and yet also so familiar. In Vinheim, Lloyd was sure he’d seen such similar designs too. He saw the shapes of people pass by it, some going through its great double doors, hearing the wood creak. 

“I know what it is now,” Colette spoke softly, catching his attention. She kept their hands clasped, even as she looked further away at the structure. “There’s another church similar to this back in Sylvarant, so grand and wonderful. A place where you could pray to Martel. I know it’s made by Cruxis, but…” 

Lloyd heard the strange note in her voice, a mixture of emotion he wasn’t sure he could identify. Sadness? Or pain? Maybe even anger at all the lies Cruxis had fed her all her life? “Colette… If it’s too much, we can leave this place. We’ll find another town to rest in.”

“No, that’s not…” She shook her head. He noticed how the flush rose in her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Lloyd. But, it’s not that I’m unhappy seeing this. It’s, well, it actually reminded me that I wanted to ask you something…”

He didn’t understand just yet, but he wanted to. He wanted to learn more about Colette, as eager as a starving man stranded in the wilderness. Because that’s what all these years had felt like without her; empty and weary, but her face broke the pattern of the gray stillness he had long been used to.

Maybe it showed in Lloyd’s face, his desperation, until Colette’s eyes met with his. She held his hands gently, as she did with that silly snow dog he had made, unaware he had crafted it in the shape of Noishe. Is Noishe okay with Dirk? he asked himself, remembering seeing his dog, once his only friend, comfortable in the makeshift stable the dwarf had created for him, as if the place had always been his home.

Then, Colette lifted up his hand, still encased in his glove. It had been too cold for him to remove it like he did with hers. He wasn’t used to this weather, to the changing seasons as with everything else that made up both Sylvarant and Tethe’alla. 

She held up his hand by the fingers, his knuckles then pressed against her lips. She did it softly, the warmth of it rushing through the fabric, making his chest tighten and his heart beat rapidly. Suddenly, his face felt hot, despite all the snow.

It took him a moment or two to realize that she had just kissed his hand. He didn’t even know what to say.

Back in Altessa’s home, underneath the night sky, he had also felt this same sensation when she…

Underneath the softly flickering lamplight, as the snows fell around them both, Colette finally asked her question.

.

.

.

“Keep her hidden,” Kratos had told Lloyd on his brief visit—so brief, Lloyd could barely remember if his father had mentioned anything else. “And don’t bring attention to yourself.”

On Welgaia, before they had made their escape, Lloyd had rarely left his room. He made sure to keep the door locked, and to sneak away food from the nearby supply machines. Arms full of gels, of fruits and vegetables, and other packaged assortments that he had never seen another angel ever eat. But just like with the coffee from before, he shared such treats with Colette, who stayed huddled in the blankets of his bed.

Lloyd tried to get rid of the nervousness of having another person in his room, messy as it was. Just his bed and some sparse furniture, along with a few plants he had focused on to grow underneath artificial lights. She didn’t seem to mind though, especially as Noishe had nuzzled her cheek with affection, his tail wagging at the excitement. It was probably one of the first times Lloyd had ever seen Noishe not balk or whine at the concept of a new person hanging around.

Colette, sitting on his bed and wrapped in blankets, had been busy scratching behind Noishe’s ears before Lloyd relayed her the news. The crystal over her arm had slipped past her sleeves. She unconsciously pulled it back down, hiding it from sight.

“Mr. Kratos was here?” she had asked him.

“Yeah…for a little bit.” He scratched the back of his neck, taking a roll of bread from the stash he brought, and taking a big bite from it. “I don’t know what he’s up to though. He never really tells me anything if he can help it.” He swallowed, then offered the other half of his meal. “Want some?”

Colette nodded, her own bites a small nibble in comparison, as if she didn’t want to intrude too much on this offered food item. She made a curious noise in his throat. “This tastes a little strange…”

“Huh? Is it bad?” He was sure the bread hadn’t gone stale… It physically couldn’t, unless the machine was broken.

“No, not bad… just different. Maybe because it’s not made the way our bread is back on Sylvarant.” She tilted her head. “Or…are my senses being strange again?”

Lloyd didn’t know. If Kratos was still here, he could have probably asked him, but his father never stayed in one place for so long. “It’s probably because it’s, uh, synthetic? I think that’s the right word. Hey, I can just get us more food though!” With a quick gulp of a gel, Lloyd got up, then wagged a finger at Noishe. “Don’t eat the gels, Noishe. They’re bad for you. Too much sugar!”

A soft plaintive whine, followed by Colette giggling besides the furry creature. “Can I feed him some of these sausages then?”

“Well… just a little!” Lloyd answered as if he never snuck his dog a pile of sausage slices himself. “But try to stay quiet in case anyone’s around. I’ll be back!”

Colette nodded, smiling at him. “Okay. You be careful, too.” She said so while still wrapped in his blankets, her hair shining brightly, even in the dimness of his room.

He had only known her for a few days, keeping her in his room. She had slept for so many hours, catching up on the rest she had sorely missed during her sickness. She saw her yawn a bit, and was certain she’d take another nap again.

No one else had ever slept in his bed before. Noishe didn’t count.

Lloyd left quietly, letting the door, powered by magitechnology, whoosh past him to slide shut. He left the hallway, finally making it out of one of the many empty buildings for the supply machines.

Welgaia had always been a place filled with silence, the air charged from remembered encounters. It wasn’t like Lloyd talked with people every day—sometimes not even for weeks at a time. The entire population was filled with other angels who barely spoke, who barely moved a muscle, letting their wings take them where they needed to go. They never even needed to blink.

Lloyd brushed past some of these angels, who conversed with each other only when it concerned with their duties (“Lord Yggdrasill has stated retrieval of the Chosen as our top priority.” “The warp pad is currently at 70 percent efficiency. Repairs are forthcoming.”) Few barely gave him a glance. It seemed these angels weren’t given the information that it had been up to Lloyd to find the Chosen.

He was so glad none of them had the capacity to be curious enough to ask.

His wings dissipated as he flew towards a platform for a familiar machine—one that should work and not be close to breaking down like a few others. Lloyd always wondered if all the machines suddenly stopped working, would he just starve? No one else seemed to ever need to use these. 

It won’t matter once we leave, he thought, fiddling with the buttons and dials, until he felt a presence near him.

He didn’t even need to hear her speak to know who it was.

“You again.”

Lloyd, with half an orange gel in his mouth from his latest stash, turned around quickly to face her. Keep an eye on your surroundings, Kratos had told him. If his dad had been watching right now, he would have given him a failing grade.

He had met Pronyma enough times, as she tended to visit Welgaia. The lady was hard to miss. Her attire did all it could to make an entrance, the fanning blades of her armor now enclosed around her, like a shield of metal. But Lloyd knew if anyone got close enough, those same blades would reach outward, impaling anyone who came too close.

Lloyd didn’t remember this exactly—but Kratos had mentioned how at seven years old, he had nearly gone too close to the woman, wandering to her in curiosity. Kratos still sported a scar across his forearm when he had shielded Lloyd quickly from the attack. “Said she never liked children,” Kratos had said, his tone completely humorless. Even though it had happened years ago, Lloyd had never seen his father so quietly angry.

She wasn’t as close to him now, but her dark eyes, painted in kohl, riveted onto him, as well as onto the several gels he was holding in his right palm. No one really hung out around the food dispenser he was at—he was still one of the only people here who regularly ate food. Or gels.

Then again, Pronyma wasn’t an angel. Does she actually use these?

“You… need something?” Lloyd mumbled in confusion, still chewing on his gel.

At that, Pronyma snorted in disgust. “So, you still talk with your mouth full, I see.” Then a smile, her lips cutting across her face in a dark line. “Lord Yggdrasill is truly so merciful.”

It was more than just her words—her tone was biting into him. But Lloyd held back any remarks he was tempted to make. Kratos had told him not to, that and the gel did effectively keep him from talking too much.

Even after all this time, Lloyd knew so little about Pronyma, or what exactly her role was besides being a Grand Cardinal. It was also so rare to see her on her own, usually so attached Yggdrasill’s side, like some loyal dog.

And like a dog, she obeyed her master’s commands, punishing Lloyd to the fullest. His side still ached from the last time.

Frustrated she was still here, Lloyd pointedly turned away. “I have to go,” he said.

He didn’t see her expression, but her tone did all the imagining for him. “Oh? Does this mean you actually have your other duties to attend to, besides stuffing your face? Or that you will finally do what Lord Yggdrasill has ordered of you?”

Find the Chosen. Find Colette. And bring her to Lord Yggdrasill.

He would never follow through on that last command.

Gritting his teeth, he turned back—and that was when Pronyma moved a fraction closer.

Lloyd did all he could to not relinquish any space to her. She was his same height, but her demeanor made her more intimidating than even Yggdrasill at times. “Each of Lord Yggdrasill’s servants have their tasks. You’d do well to remember that.”

He never understood why she seemed to hate him so much.

At that point, Lloyd couldn’t help it. “I’m not his lackey,” he said, and that unlocked even more from him. “I’m not like you!”

He inwardly winced. That was a mistake.

Pronyma frowned immediately, uncrossing her arms. She just barely floated in the air, the tips of her steel-toed heels hovering only an inch above the floor. She floated towards him again.

Lloyd instinctively unsheathed one of his swords, practically hearing Kratos’ reprimanding voice in his head the very second he did so. Another mistake.

“And what exactly do you expect to do with that?” she asked him. She leaned over, Lloyd unsure whether to raise his sword or put it away, and instead held it mid-level. Her smile was so cruel and poisonous, that he tried not to look at it. But there wasn’t much elsewhere to retreat to. It seemed like she blocked any reasonable path of escape.

It was the same smile she had given when she attacked him on Yggdrasill’s orders. Cruel and vindictive, and oddly joyous at him failing to do anything else.

She saw him hesitate. She deftly knocked the sword aside with her heavy mace she was suddenly holding, the metal glinting a bright gold in its arc.

The quick motion had made him drop it. His grip had been lax, his nerves had been shaky. And his mouth still tasted of the orange gel. 

“I could very much report to Lord Yggdrasill that you are causing trouble again, ignoring your task . It would be simple, since you already do so often enough.” Then, surprisingly, she moved back.

Lloyd found himself breathing again. He hadn’t before?

With a bored shrug, she was turning away again. There were different parts of Welgaia, and the hint of violet above for what served as their ‘skies’ was broiling, more evident out here, more aware that Yggdrasill’s domain was not far ahead.

“The Chosen must be retrieved soon. Surely you remember that.” She said the words in nearly a hiss. “Or do you wish for your father to die?”

The words sent a brief flash of rage through him. Rage and contempt. His father had been under their noses, had even visited Lloyd, and Pronyma still had no clue. Or she wouldn’t be talking so easily about Kratos with that awful smile on her face.

“You can’t even find him like you can’t find the Chosen!” he shot back. “So do I even have anything to worry about?”

Immediately he felt a backhand across his face. The force was so strong he thought he had been hit with a boulder. He stumbled, hitting the side of the machine roughly, hearing the metal dent and crack.

And when he raised his head, Pronyma’s smile was gone. Her teeth were bared, and her eyes suddenly looked so dark and furious.

“Impudent little pest. You’ve been on such good behavior, even agreeing to follow on your latest orders. And yet, you would go and ruin all that?” She then grabbed Lloyd’s chin, bringing him around to face her again.

“H-Hey! What are you—?”

“Be quiet, Son of Kratos. Pure filth. All your little rebellious attempts have given you nothing. A pity you simply can’t be executed along with your miserable traitor of a father, but Mithos saw there was more use for you. I won’t question him. My Lord knows best.”

The shock and discomfort he was feeling was soon overtaken by confusion. “Mithos?”

Pronyma’s eyes widened.

“You called him—”

“Shut up.”

She tightened her grip, nails digging into his skin. He reflexively reached for her wrist to pull away—but it was like she was made of stone. “Let me go!”

“Did you forget your other sword?”

She pushed him away before he could respond. Lloyd stumbled, his back hitting the machine again . Though he flinched, he tried to keep his eyes open. He could already feel his wings start to form to each side of him, his emotions still running high.

Any of the previous shock from before had left Pronyma’s face. Instead, she smiled once more. A cold expression, her lips in a thin line. “Or maybe Yggdrasill’s lesson has rubbed off on you. I will be sure to give him the good news.”

With that, she vanished, lines of shadow cutting through her image before she fully faded away. Lloyd had already turned away by then, looking towards his fallen sword.

Dammit. He winced, trying to stand, his face now feeling sensitive. Guess that could have gone worse.

Lloyd attempted to get back to getting more of the food from the machine until he took another look at it. It was almost half-destroyed, the front glass of it cracked, and the buttons dislodged. Electricity sparked from its sides. 

It was completely broken, another machine left to decay in this already dead world. Lloyd sighed, looking at the few orange gels he had managed to snag before the end. 

At least he and Colette wouldn’t starve just yet.

He couldn’t even remember the journey back, his motions almost mechanical. A quick flight past other angels who still didn’t give him a glance, a turn into an empty structure, then unlocking his door. The orange gels already felt too warm in his hands, and he sighed at his incompetence of even doing this single thing right.

“Hey, Colette. Sorry, I wasn’t really able to get much…”

He stopped when he heard a startled gasp. Raising his head, he saw how Colette had already left her cocoon of blankets, rushing up to him.

“Lloyd! Your face…”

“Huh?” He pressed two fingers gingerly against his cheek, then winced. Ugh. If it already hurt this much, he could only imagine how bad the bruise must have been. “Sorry, I just…got caught off guard.”

Colette still looked at him with that worried expression. She reached out her hand—the one where the crystal had spread up past her wrist—and then hesitated. Yet, it was only for a second, for she then pressed her hand against his cheek so gently, so softly. 

Lloyd felt sensitive at being touched, but it didn’t spark any new pain. He found himself leaning into that touch, without fully realizing it.

“Who did this to you?” she asked him. She talked to him in such a soft voice, that it almost made his heart break.

He couldn’t remember anyone ever talking to him like this, like he was fragile and precious. If Kratos ever did, it was probably back when he was a kid, back from when he could barely remember anything.

Lloyd shook. “It’s…nobody. Nothing.” He looked away. “I’ll heal up quick. That’s what my Exsphere is for.”

“But…it still hurts you, doesn’t it?”

It did so, so much.

Lloyd couldn’t find it in himself to answer, but he felt Colette take his other hand, leading him to the bed. Sometimes, after a punishment from either Yggdrasill, or from Pronyma, or even another angel following orders, Lloyd would collapse onto his bed, waiting for the pain to finally fade away. Maybe, in some ways, he was a bit jealous of the other angels. They didn’t have to feel anything like this.

But then they didn’t feel anything at all regardless.

The last time he had done this, he had been paralyzed, Yggdrasill standing over him and giving him his orders to bring Colette. But now, it was Colette who led him to it, who wrapped the blankets around him, and then her arms. 

She laid with him on the bed, holding him close. To his other side, he could feel Noishe curling up beside him, his wet nose nuzzling against his hand.

“We can give you an apple gel if you’re still feeling bad,” Colette told him. Her head was pressed into his chest, her hair tickling his chin. “I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“Don’t…apologize. How is it your fault?” But even as he spoke, something in his voice cracked. His body shook, and then his arms wrapped around Colette so tightly. She didn’t seem to mind the strain. “It’s never your fault.”

A pause, before Colette whispered to him, “Then, please know that it’s not your fault either. Don’t blame yourself for getting hurt.” She looked up at him, her eyes bright in the dark.

There was something there that she knew, more deeply than anything else.

They continued to hold each other in the bed, quietly, even as Lloyd felt himself sobbing for the first time in years.

.

.

.

“Lloyd, will you marry me?”

Colette’s voice was as clear as a bell within the winter air.

How she held his hand was that same gentleness from before, all those nights ago. Even with his palms callused from his training, from using his swords to fight against the angels that continually chased after them, she handled it delicately within her own.

He stood there, his cheeks hot, his mouth half-open. Only dimly was he aware of the townspeople that walked around them, traveling up those same stars, going into nearby shops or even to that same church. 

“I…” he croaked out, his voice halting. 

Colette was patient with his shortcomings as always. She smiled at him, even as she shivered in her cloak. “I know it’s sudden,” she said to him. “And I know we haven’t even known each other for that long… But I’ve never been happier than I am with you. I feel…more alive than I ever have before.”

Alive. Something in that word held meaning. 

Lloyd, whose memories consisted of the dead world of Welgaia, knowing only the dead eyes of angels—had he ever been living before?

Colette laughed slightly, nervousness finally leaking through. “But, we don’t have to! It’s a little silly, isn’t it?” Her fingers tapped against his hand. He still remembered the feel of her kiss against it. “And you must be really tired from all that traveling—”

“I want to.”

Colette paused, blinking. She stared up at Lloyd, the snowflakes catching onto her eyelashes. It made him want to reach out and brush them away so much. It made him want to kiss them, to hold her close, to feel the heat even in the deep chill.

“Wait, I mean yes!” Lloyd restrained himself from smacking his own head. “That’s what I’m supposed to say, right? So, yes! I want to marry you!”

He spoke so loud that a few heads turned at his shouting. Some with raised eyebrows, others with laughing grins. Lloyd flushed in embarrassment. Maybe they thought he was proposing when it was the other way around…

“Lloyd…” Colette said his name in soft whisper, holding it as gently as she held his hand. “Are you sure?”

He grinned wide, gripping her hands back and bringing her close. He embraced her, just as they did in his bed, but with a giddy happiness this time. A hopeful thing blossoming in his chest as the wind gently tugged at both of their cloaks.

“Colette, I want to marry you,” he said, and knew what that meant, even having grown up in a world where such things hadn’t even been a possibility.

To say yes was to continue to live.

.

.

.

“You’re very weird, you know.”

Lloyd jumped, turning around to see the small child next to him in the kitchen of a wooden home. The boy’s silver hair shone from the sun beaming through an open window, the locks hiding his long ears. Genis had called himself an elf, but Lloyd could sense the mana coming from him. The mixture of human and elf was something he was all too familiar with, remembering the angels back home.

“...I don’t follow,” Lloyd said. He was leaning on a counter, to the spot closest to a window.

Genis rolled his eyes. “You act like you’ve never seen trees before.”

“...Ohhh.” Well, of course. “Uh, they’re kinda rare where I’m from, you know! So it’s kinda new to me.”

Nice save! Lloyd thought with pride. 

He probably shouldn’t have just begun staring at the trees out the window for what must have been more than ten minutes, but there were just so many! After escaping from Welgaia, it was all he could do to not just examine every small thing he came across; from the river that cut through the ground just past this house, to even the home itself with its walls made of cut wood. The only real metal he saw was from Dirk’s blacksmithing corner of the house, along with a cooking pot that hung near a stove—the same cooking pot Genis was using now, cutting some vegetables to dump into the pot.

Lloyd shifted his feet, hearing the wood creak underneath his boots. He and Colette had arrived here just a day ago, finally making their escape from Welgaia. He thought he’d be prepared, but he didn’t expect such a stark difference from the world he had lived in for all of his life.

Everything here just felt so alive.

“So… have you been living in someplace like Triet? I guess there’s not many trees there.” Genis seemed to really ponder on this, still staring at Lloyd with some suspicion, even as he multitasked on his cooking. His sister, the one called Raine, had apparently gone to see Colette who was still upstairs, but she hadn’t looked at Lloyd with much welcome in her eyes either.

Lloyd wondered if it was the way he was dressed. He supposed he hadn’t changed out of his training outfit yet…

“It seems like a very strange ecosystem that you lived in if trees really are a rarity.” 

The kid really wouldn’t let it go. Lloyd tried to shrug nonchalantly, eyes fixated on a little snail that crawled by the riverbank in the distance. So that’s what they look like… “Well, I just traveled around. Like my dad. We never stayed in one place. Uh, like places with not much trees!”

Oh, now he just sounded crazy.

Lloyd really just wanted to keep exploring this strange land, and was half-tempted to just leap through the window to do so. When he and Colette had escaped through one of the working warp pads from Welgaia, the sheer amount of greenery and fresh air was something he was still reeling from. But they’d had to rush from Kratos’ directions, finding this home that belonged to a dwarf, one that Kratos had apparently known for years.

And one of the first things the dwarf had said upon greeting Lloyd, warm eyes beneath bushy brows, was, “Haven’t seen ya since you were a small babe. You’ve truly grown.”

It set something aching in Lloyd, suddenly, even with Dirk’s kindness. I could have lived here.

Genis was still staring at him, even as a breeze picked up and blew through the window, tousling both of their hair. The wind brought in the scent of the nearby oak trees, making Lloyd’s nose tickle.

And Genis still kept staring at him.

“Do you…have to keep looking at me?” Lloyd asked, not without some annoyance in his tone.

Genis was not put off. In fact, he raised his head to meet Lloyd’s eyes fully. “Hey, you’re the one that’s hanging out in the kitchen with me.”

“I’m just waiting for Colette to be done, that’s all!” he said in a huff.

“And that’s another thing. My best friend suddenly shows up with some guy who doesn’t know what trees look like. I’m supposed to just accept that like it’s no big deal?”

“But I’m not doing anything!” Lloyd groaned, crossing his arms. “I just haven’t been here before.”

“Hm. And that you’re Kratos’ son?”

“Hey, I know he’s mentioned me!” Kind of. Sort of. Lloyd shook his head, going back to looking at some wildflowers growing in a pot by the door. Something new to look at, because even though the trees were fascinating, it did get a bit boring.

Then, a sigh from behind him. What else was this Genis kid going to complain about next?

“I thought I’d never see Colette again.”

The tone of Genis’ voice startled Lloyd enough to turn around. Suddenly, any of that attitude from before had evaporated, leaving a boy with sad eyes, looking towards the boiling cooking pot.

“When I saw her get taken at the tower, I thought… that would be it. She was gone forever, and Kratos was the one who took over. I didn’t even know it would be like that until…” His voice died, still looking away, the sun beating down on his silver hair.

Lloyd just stood there, unsure at first what to say. Would anything he said even be wanted? Kratos’ son. From what Colette had told him, they thought his father had betrayed them, giving her to Cruxis. So, would they really trust his son any better?

He thought on it for so long, with only the birdsong to fill in the silence—which was another fascination that Lloyd experienced. To hear sounds that weren't just the hum of machines or electrical wiring. There was the wind, the rustling of the trees, and the small animals that scurried into the bushes, away from his eyes.

“So, is it true?” Genis suddenly asked.

“Uh, what?” Lloyd asked dumbly. Damn, he was really not doing this first impression thing well. 

The boy took a moment before he followed up with, “That you’re in love with Colette.”

…

What?

Lloyd was still, a thousand lines coming up in his head, none of them making sense. Most lines were said in his father’s voice, telling him to do something to minimize the damage to the situation, and that he was being reckless again. 

And then he realized he had stayed quiet for too long. Long enough for Genis to be smirking at him like that.

“Who told you?” was what Lloyd finally decided to say.

And then, Genis was smiling. His expression held a smugness to his features that confused Lloyd.

“Wow, you admitted that pretty fast. And here I thought you’d try to keep denying it!”

It took a moment for Lloyd to really process the word. “Wait, did you just trick me? That’s not fair!”

“Is it really tricking you though? Geez, you’re really bad at lying. But, I can see why Colette likes you too.”

If it was possible, Lloyd’s face got even redder—at least it felt like it did. Then…

Colette likes me?

But before he could even begin to ask Genis how he would know anything about that, footsteps echoed from the stairs above.

“Genis! Lloyd!” Colette had quickly run down, with the woman called Raine following behind. Lloyd thought Raine had seemed cold to him, but did something change recently? He thought her eyes looked softer. “Sorry, I got caught up telling the Professor…” She looked over at the pot. “Oh, you’re making lunch?”

“Yep!” Genis said with a bit of bravado only a twelve-year old could pull off. “Some of your favorite soup to celebrate you being back with us!”

“Oh, thank you, Genis! I missed your cooking so much.” Colette then looked at Lloyd, her hands clasped, still covering up the green patches on her skin. “Are you doing okay, Lloyd?”

Lloyd tried to answer, but the words from Genis, I can see why Colette likes you, kept echoing in his head. He eventually said, “Uh, yeah! Just excited to eat, too!”

This would be the first time he would have real food, not made in a machine, but by another’s hands.

“You’re lucky I made enough for everyone,” said Genis, but already he poured the soup he made from the pot into a wooden bowl, handling the ladle with expertise. Then, he handed the bowl to Lloyd. “Here.”

The contents were an orange-red color, thick when Lloyd stirred it with a spoon. He thought he could smell spices from it.

“What is it?”

Genis grinned. “Tomato soup. Go on, try it!”

And when he did so, he just proved Genis’ point in the end. He really was a terrible liar.

.

.

.

“I guess it’s called eloping. I mean, with what we’re doing.”

“Eloping…” Lloyd stretched out the word, trying to figure out its meaning and contours. He might have come across that word in a book, but the definition escaped him. “Is that bad?”

At that, Colette flushed, huddling into her cloak as they climbed their way up the stairs. She fiddled with something over her finger, turning it every which way. “I think I used to believe that… But it doesn’t feel that way now.” She faced him as they reached the top steps, smiling. “It just means we’re getting married without our parents knowing. But we can always tell them later!”

That made sense to Lloyd! “Yeah! We can just tell them how it went.”

“Mmhmm!” Colette nodded, then grabbed for his hand to rush for the double-doors. “Let’s go inside!”

In the swirling snows, Lloyd caught the silver gleam around her finger, but once inside the church, his attention was soon drawn elsewhere.

The interior was softly lit up by candlelight, which were placed in intervals by the walls of the church. A few people were inside, some of them sitting in the pews that lined up on both the left and right sections of the tiled floor. Up ahead, Lloyd saw a dais, near where those in cloth robes softly spoke with each other.

Sometimes, with the help of his Exsphere, Lloyd could pick up on whispers that were spoken from across the room. Kratos had taught him how, and he had kept that sense on, in case someone from Cruxis was nearby, spying on them.

But what he heard most of all was the name Martel.

It was a name that he heard Yggdrasill speak of. Yggdrasill and, sometimes, his father. And whenever they spoke of her to Lloyd, it always sounded like they talked about two different people. 

Lloyd let his eyes roam across the church, from the polished marble tiles to the stained glass windows. It did remind him of Vinheim, in some ways. Except, this place wasn’t in ruins, the walls crumbling and the windows shattered. It also wasn’t empty or devoid of any life. People moved around, albeit in hushed tones. Footsteps echoed around the interior, and even a stray cough could be heard clearly. It made one feel exposed to something grand and imposing. In that way, at least, it was like Vinheim.

Lloyd saw the workings of Cruxis woven into every fiber of its construction, from the sweeping pillars to the dazzling colors of those windows. In one of them, Lloyd saw a woman’s face that was inlaid in the glass. She had long locks of emerald hair and soft eyes, half-lidded in prayer. Her arms were stretched out wide, as if in welcoming. 

His first thought as he looked at her was, That’s Martel.

He felt a gentle tug on his sleeve, turning to Colette who waited by his side patiently.

“Oh, sorry, I was just looking around. This place is really big…”

But she smiled at him knowingly. Her eyes also glanced towards the stained glass window, seeing the woman depicted. Rays of the sun shone behind her head, and a flowing dress hugged her form as she stepped over green hills. Even in the dim evening, every detail could be seen.

Colette started to lift both her hands up to clasp, then stopped herself. She hesitated before letting her hands fall back to her sides. “I know Martel isn’t really a goddess. Not after everything we’ve seen… It’s just hard to break the habit sometimes.” She once again fiddled with the gleaming shine from her finger. “But, you know… I think that actually makes me feel relieved. It means, she never chose for any of this to happen.”

A few people shuffled past to enter the church, and both Lloyd and Colette hurriedly moved out of the way. Colette did a small trip against one of the tiles, and in reflex, Lloyd reached out, holding her by the waist. The suddenness of it made them both retreat even further into a darker corner of the church, hidden from the candlelight, and even the shine from the windows.

Lloyd looked down at Colette, her face so near, and the air so hushed from whatever reverence the people had for this church, for the deities that Cruxis had laid out for them all. But he didn’t really think about any of that, still so focused on her eyes.

It was strangely dark here, in this tiny corner of the Church, and one of the pillars was effectively hiding them away.

Colette placed both hands on his chest, fingers moving underneath the cloak that still hung around his shoulders. Suddenly, she was quiet. Suddenly, they were both quiet.

They had run and rushed through so much to finally escape, to come here—and now that they had, everything froze completely.

Lloyd hugged Colette so closely then, hands against her back, feeling her warmth. She embraced him back, and they were like that for a while, hiding in the dark of the church. He didn’t want to ever let her go.

He loved her. And he’d known that for a long time.

“Is it still okay to get married here?” Colette asked him softly. He felt her fingers against the back of his neck, along with something cool and solid. “Maybe it’s odd with Martel looking down at us…”

At that, Lloyd grinned, reaching to take one of her hands and hold it in his own. He saw clearly the ring on her finger, matching his. They had bought it from the jewelry shop, cheap ones that they could afford. But it was enough. “You know, I think she’d like this… That we’re doing this.”

Colette raised her eyes at him curiously. “Really? Why do you say that?”

Lloyd’s eyes grew soft, lost in memory. “Because whenever my dad mentioned her, he talked about her like she was a real person. Maybe she was like us, too.” He shrugged. “It probably doesn’t make a lot of sense now that I’m saying it out loud…”

But the small laughter he heard from Colette, as she also entwined their fingers and matched with their rings, let him know that maybe what he said hadn’t been so out of place after all. 

“I think so too,” she said, then added shyly, “Maybe she felt the same way about someone else.”

Lloyd didn’t know, only having half-told stories and proclamations that he had heard all his life. But he wanted to believe it, more than anything. 

.

.

.

Once, Colette had believed herself to be at peace with her death. 

After all, she had been prepared for it for much of her life. Her journey emphasized it with each step of the way; a loss of her senses, a loss of her voice, and a loss of her place within the world. No one else had wings such as hers, and no one else looked to the tower as she did, hoping and dreading, wanting and detesting. But the chain that tethered her to what would be her final resting place couldn’t be broken. Each seal she unlocked further took away her humanity. 

Except, she had just been lying to herself. At the final seal, as Remiel looked down at her with a deep-set frown, she realized she didn’t want to die after all.

And didn’t that make her such a worthless Chosen in the end?

“...lette? Colette?”

She blinked, and the shadows cleared from her eyes. The soft lamplight that hung from the ceiling made her feel suddenly so fatigued. Her limbs were heavy, and she thought she had been laying down for a week or more. But no, she was seated on a chair, numbness leaving her throat, and a fog lifting from her mind. Memories coalesced, shifted with the reality of the home she woke up in, of the boy who stood in front of her, hands linking with hers.

“...Lloyd,” she spoke, her voice a bit dry and cracked, as if she had been wandering the desert. She couldn’t help but cough a little, and immediately, a water cup was handed to her by another soul in the room. She looked to her right, seeing a woman with long green hair that rippled down her back in a neat braid.

“Please. Drink this,” spoke the woman, as halting as the strange angels she had seen up in a place she once thought to be heaven.

Lloyd immediately unlinked their hands, his cheeks flushed, but heaving a sigh of relief. “You’re back, Colette! I was really worried because at first it didn’t seem to work but, Altessa said it might take time… Ah, sorry! You don’t know him, he’s—”

“The dwarf that lives here?” Colette said, half-confused at her own words. She shook her head, finally gripping the water cup in both hands. “I think I remember. We were running from Cruxis because they had caught up to us and…”

And then sudden darkness. She fell into cold waters and couldn’t seem to get herself to reach the top. So stuck she had been, seeing muted pictures moving before her, hearing half-whispers that sounded like her name. Such memories slowly started to fall into place…

She had left Lloyd alone, with no idea of how he could save her.

Lloyd smiled sheepishly, and his breath was shaky from past worries. But when he smiled at her, it was so beautiful that she temporarily lost her breath. She then took a sip of the water, tasting its freshness, relieved she wasn’t back to her senseless state again.

“I’m really sorry to have caused so much trouble,” she told him, heaving out a sigh. But a quick glance at her hands told her something else, noticing the lack of crystal over her skin. It’s cured? she thought, and of course if she could now speak, and feel, and no longer was left in an endless dusk, Lloyd would find a way to cure her.

Alive, and with no mark of her failure on her anymore.

“I can get you more water,” spoke the green-haired woman, again in those halting tones, taking back the cup. Something about her seemed so awfully familiar to Colette, and it was beyond just what she might have experienced in her soulless state. Looking at the woman brought a sense of nostalgia to her, something she had known since she was little—but the woman left the room, and such thoughts were set to fade once more.

She tried immediately to stand up, and struggled to do so. Her legs were wobbly, her steps more unsteady than usual. Lloyd immediately went to her side, holding her up by her right arm.

“Hey, you should keep resting for now!” His touch was warm on her arm, and she was suddenly so very hungry to keep feeling it. She almost latched onto him in a fierce hug, stopping herself from doing so.

Instead, she said, “But, I think I want to see the stars. Would it be okay to go outside?”

Maybe it was selfish, and she could see the hesitation in Lloyd’s eyes, but a quick look towards the windows seemed to decide for him. “I guess it’s pretty calm out there. Are you sure you can walk?”

At the question, Colette couldn’t help herself. She was always adept at lying, after all.

“I think I could use some help after all,” she said with a smile, happy to feel his touch just a little bit longer. 

Altessa’s home was situated in an isolated place, the rocky cliffside so very steep, but facing a dense forest to the north. The sky outside was full of wondrous stars, inlaid with streams of violet stuck within the black. Colette looked out to it, relieved to see such a sight was still familiar, even in this other world.

It had been the same feeling when in Welgaia, seeing the stars just outside the tower, so high up it pierced the very clouds. 

She glanced a look at Lloyd, who also raised his head to the night sky. He still wore his clothes from back on Welgaia, a wine-red outfit that echoed Kratos’ when he had traveled with Colette on Sylvarant. In the dimness, she saw even more features of her once-bodyguard in Lloyd; in the spikes of his hair, in the sweep of his neck, and the soft russet eyes that reflected back those stars.

But there was something else, something that was decidedly Lloyd’s that gripped at Colette’s heart more than anything else. She had never felt this way with anyone before. She had never thought it to be possible, always keeping such feelings down before they could blossom past admiration or childhood crushes.

She was in love with Lloyd. She didn’t know when it started, but she knew this to be a fact, as sure as she once did in her fate as a Chosen.

Except this time, it filled her heart instead of leaving it hollow.

“Sheena said we could head to a place up north next,” Lloyd was saying, looking out over the horizon. “She said it’s called Flanoir, and that we could travel to it on an EC? I don’t really know what that is though…”

Colette blinked, feeling a little ashamed that she hadn’t been thinking about Sheena, or Genis and Raine, or the other new friends they had made like Presea, who had shown them the way to Altessa’s home, or even Zelos, another Chosen like her… Was he still in Meltokio, unable to move from his place because of the Pope keeping an eye on him?

“Will Sheena be coming with us?” she asked him, unsure what she was hoping to hear.

Lloyd shook his head, the moonlight bouncing off his hair, casting it almost silver. “No, she has to go back to Mizuho, in case anyone from Cruxis comes by… I wonder if they’re still tracking us.”

Colette read between the lines. “So we’d be by ourselves?”

Lloyd cleared his throat, but she thought she saw the red dusting his cheeks again. “Eheh, yeah. But don’t worry! I’ll be better at fighting them off this time, I swear! I won’t… I won’t let them do that to you again.”

Colette’s memory was still hazy, but what she could recall was the imprint of her hands around her chakrams, Remiel going near her, reaching out to her Cruxis Crystal before everything went dark, like a candlelight going out.

She saw the worry flit across Lloyd’s eyes, and wondered if he was reliving that memory, one that was much clearer to him, one that he must have repeated in his head while she was locked inside her body.

“But I’m okay now,” she reassured him, placing a hand over her heart. She felt her own heartbeat, wondering if that same heart had slowed when her soul was trapped in chrysalis. “And we can keep traveling together too!”

Somehow, that question set something conflicting in Lloyd’s face, one that made her want to reach out and touch, to calm. “Is that really what you want?”

She stopped hesitating, and reached out her hands to his face.

As she did so, she felt her wings span out from her back. Maybe it was to test if she still held her angelic powers, or maybe it was the sensation of Lloyd’s skin against her hands, setting her heart racing. She saw the color of her wings reflected in his eyes, how he stared at her, seeing only her as the crickets chirped in the nearby grass, as the nightbirds sang in the distance.

She saw his own wings move past his shoulder blades; grand ones that were a brilliant blue, like a mid-afternoon sky. She felt such wings could wrap around her and keep her safe, but could she do the same for him? Could she keep him safe from all that had happened, and continued to happen as they tried to find a way to change the broken scales these worlds were balanced on?

“Of course I do,” she told him, drawn in by his eyes, feeling more brave than she ever had in all her life. “Lloyd, I’m so happy to know you. And I want to keep staying by your side.”

Like the Goddess, she felt she had been asleep for so very long, until Lloyd came into her life.

She had never kissed another person like this, lips pressed against another’s. But underneath the stars, she felt she could do anything now. And when she felt the soft, gentle pressure against her own mouth, Lloyd’s body closer to her now, it didn’t feel like a mistake.

She was so happy to be here and alive with him.

.

.

.

In the Flanoir cathedral, Lloyd and Colette got married underneath the stained glass window that depicted the goddess Martel. With witnesses that generously spared their time, and a priest who felt such sympathy for them, they were wed in the later evening hours, just as the bell rang for a final mass.

But the goddess Martel was no goddess, and Colette recognized the depicted woman’s face as that of Tabatha’s. She wondered at that connection, at those green eyes that showed her such kindness. But if such eyes did, then surely whoever Martel was would also feel the same.

“And I love you!” he said to her, so simple and so excited. It made her giggle, already leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, and then his lips, and then Lloyd copied her by kissing her forehead, then at her chin, before the tired priest had to tell them that they still needed to say their ‘I do’s.’

She hardly remembered the actual ceremony, dazzled instead by Lloyd’s eyes, by his smile, by the way he held their hands together, as if he never wanted to let her go.

But she had already known, for perhaps even longer than she realized, that she wanted to be with Lloyd, to have him by her side, and to declare that in some way. 

She remembered the weddings held in Iselia would bring in days of celebration and dancing. But somehow, underneath the soft light through the windows as the snow fell outside, Colette was happy with this—perhaps even more so.

Would it be selfish of her to keep Lloyd to herself just a little longer?

It’s what she thought when she was already rushing Lloyd with her down the aisle, leaving through the doors so quickly just to be out in the snow again, the difference in temperature so sudden that she immediately shivered.

“And I love you too,” she said to him, her voice shaking from the cold, or maybe something else. She had already said the words to him inside the church, but she now needed to say it again, just as the stars shone a bit brighter.

Let me keep loving you for as long as I can. Because the future was still uncertain, and they were still adrift, trying to change what seemed impossible.

But she had once thought it impossible for her to keep living past sixteen.

Lloyd wrapped her in his arms, leaning down to kiss her again—on her forehead, on her cheeks, on her lips, over her closed eyes—and whispered, “I’ll always stay by your side.”

And she knew for a fact that Lloyd always kept his promises. 

[indig0trolls]

Market Meet-Cute

Google docs link Word Count: 1266 Character(s): Peityr Rhudan & Cruxis Cathar Flashback- Pete makes a new friend at the farmer's market

It’s so bright out.

Bright enough to disorient, bright enough to make your head spin.

You don’t spend nearly enough time outdoors, not like you used to do. But it isn’t as if you have a reason to anymore, not anything like you used to. (There is that little voice that pretends to be Sid reminding you that your health is a perfectly good reason to get outside, but you ignore it)

There are many, many people milling about, looking at shop stalls, speaking in overlapping tones to each other. Many more people than you’d expect to see in a farmer’s market in the middle of some nowhere town in the middle of isolated Alternian country. 

The light of the two moons glares strangely bright over the bustling scene.

Since when were the moons so vibrant anyway? It makes your eyes sting. 

You miss the twin suns of Nataii’ae, soft light filtering through green and gold leaves, leaving delicate streaks of warmth across skin. The moons, by comparison, are garish, their strange dual-colored glows dashing color in patches across the ground, across market stalls and people alike, making it all look so surreal.

You can’t remember why you stopped here, or how you got out this way in the first place. You never leave the city for anything.  Did you drive? You must have. Where is your car?

Your ear flicks automatically in response to some sound you should be hearing, but aren’t, and you draw a deep, ragged breath, only now aware of your pulse ringing in your ears, drawing out all else. You hate being alone, you shouldn’t have come out this way. Why did you even stop? You don’t have time to cook, what would you even do with fresh produce?

You fumble for your keys in your pocket with your free hand, sure that they’re there, and find that they are not. Cold panic knifes through you. You inhale sharply. That same small voice that can’t be Sid, because Sid would never berate you, reprimands you for coming out here alone, for not waiting for him to visit. Now look what you’ve done, it says, you’ve gone and lost your keys.

You could cry. You might cry, ears pinning back, what’s left of your fins fluttering frantically against your jaw.

The sensation bothers you, and you make to rub your jaw, skin tingling with your discomfort and anxiety, and–

Your key rings, warm from being clutched so tightly in your non-dominant hand, brush against your throat.

You might still cry.

But you laugh instead, a sharp and sudden thing that hurts your throat and makes nearby shoppers look at you strangely.

You’ve made such a deal out of nothing.

You should go home. At least the long drive might calm you. You pivot on your heel and set out briskly towards the lot you came from.

The moonlight still glares off stalls and it makes you nauseous, so you hunch down, keeping your face angled so you’re looking at the dirt under your feet rather than what’s ahead of you.

So you are surprised, somehow, when you slam straight into what should be a wall but instead has two firm hands that grip you by your shoulders as you stumble back.

There are tomatoes now on the ground, rolling away from your feet, but there are ones that have been crushed too, and you can’t help but to focus on those, your breath catching once more, ears pinning back. Tomatoes have odd insides, all structured flesh except for the seeds in their mass of goo that holds them to the fruit, much like the softest parts of a body, diagrams you’ve studied half a million times, on paper and in a lab. These look especially awful in the contrasting glows of the moons, squashed as they are, juice trailing out. You feel your head tilt, your lip curling over your teeth at the sight of them and you–

You’re being gently shaken.

Your head snaps up, and the ringing in your ears subsides, and you’re suddenly aware of how tightly you’re gripping your keys, metal digging into the flesh of your fingers. The man who has you by your shoulders raises his eyebrows. It’s only a slight shift in expression, but it betrays neither contempt nor concern. It occurs to you that he’s not a wall at all, and you’ve just run smack into him. You should apologize, so you open your mouth, but he beats you to the punch.

“Are you alright?”

No, no you are not. But what comes out instead is, “Are you aware you’re made of a wall?” You’re pretty sure he knows, because his lips quirk in that way Sid’s do when you’ve said something especially observant. You look down again at the smashed tomatoes.

“I’ve ruined your tomatoes.”

The man seems to realize he’s still holding you, and drops his hands with a strange sigh. Disappointed, no doubt, over the loss of his once perfectly good tomatoes, now gored on the ground.

“You did, but I’ll get more.”

“I’m sorry.”  These tomatoes look wrong, still, unnatural. So it’s not much a loss, is it? “I think you’d be happier with better ones, anyway.”

“Why do you say that?” His voice is strangely calm, a note of curiosity.

“Look at them, they’re all…” Gore, on the ground, shining red and green and pink in the light. Your head spins. You pause. “I ruined your tomatoes. I should get you more, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to do that, it’s alright.”

“Where did you get them?” You don’t wait for an answer, though. You just grab him and drag him along. For whatever reason, he doesn’t really fight you, instead heaving a sigh before pulling you in a different direction, towards a produce stall run by a young tealblood girl.

She seems surprised to see him. “Gener– Cr-Cruxis. Back so soon?” Her wide eyes flick to you, and back again. He grunts by way of response.

Cruxis. His name is Cruxis. You won’t remember that, but still, it’s nice to know for now. A small detail to hold on to.

“Um, hi, I ruined his tomatoes, do you have–” He’s already picking out more in your peripheral, though he seems reticent.

“Oh uh. How’d…How’d you manage that?”

“Being observant. How much?”

You deposit the coins in her hand, and–now satisfied that you’ve repaid him for his trouble and loss–turn to actually look at him.

He’s looking at his new container of tomatoes like they’re puzzling to him, as if he’s not sure how they got into his hands at all, a feeling you’re familiar with, but his lips are quirked that way like Sid’s again.

“I’m sorry. About the tomatoes.” “It’s alright.”

“Are the new ones–” “They’re fine.”

Anxiety, not like before, worms into your chest, hot in your throat, breath catching. His eyes flick up to your face, deepset, blue and sharp under heavy brows threaded with grey, and a frown creases his face.

“I mean it, it’s alright.” His voice is firm, but kind. You nod mutely.

“Are you alright?” Again, you nod, but he doesn’t seem to believe you, his lips quirking again.

“What’s your name?” “Peityr. Uh. Pete.” Your voice sounds high, strained even to your own ears. No, you’re not alright.

“Why don’t I walk you to your car, Peityr? We can talk more about the tomatoes on the way.”

You let him take your arm gently, and he reminds you how to breathe the whole way there.

You don’t forget his name.

[trion-revolutionary]

The last comic was longer than this next one will be. (Cruxis!Lloyd.) I have two panelled out and another which needs a write up and will only exist so I can draw Kratos's house and have Mithos be both thoughtful and incredibly threatening.

[thornbriar]

Kranna Week 2023 Prompt: Western (late)

So I kinda wanted to do a big of a cyberpunk/sci-fi western mix AU where Cruxis is still Cruxis except both worlds have advanced tech (varies though) as well as also opting to exile people to barren wastelands. Once the organization gets taken down, kratos heads out there to resolve the wrongs of the people who were sent there.

To his surprise, among the outlaws there is his Anna, who was assumed to be dead. That and she’s wanted for taking out corrupt officials running the place among other things.

Anyway another piece finally done. I started this around the end of July and just getting around to finishing this now ah well it’s done. I still got a bit more though It may be slow still so do bare with me.

Coincidentally around the time I started drawing this YouTuber and singer Annapantsu released a cover of Poor Man’s Poison’s Hell’s Comin’ With Me, which is among the current song I keep playing over and over

Here’s link to it if anyone wants to check it out.

Also thanks if you read all this and made it here 😉

[osovereign]

˗ˏˋ plotted starter for @ednaeflowers *˖ ☆

❝ kiddo—edna  i—  ❞  but  he  catches  the  rest  of  his  words  they  spill  onto  the  air  as  oral  tradition.  kratos’  days  had  been as  clockwork  long  ago:  wake  up ,  eat  breakfast ,  carry  lloyd  to  primary  school ,  work ,  leave  work ,  meet  his  wife  to  pick lloyd  up , and  home.  it  was  a  cycle  always  kept  on  rinse  and repeat,  that  was  until  that  one  faithful  day,  until  his  route  wasn’t  so  new  day ,  same  shit  any  longer.  the  one  day  he  had  to  stay  late  with  yuan  to  finish  up  the  last  bits  of  a  presentation  that  was  going  to  have  cruxis  (  the  founder  and  pinnacle  standard  of  all  things  magitechnology  ):  that  he  had  first  saw her ,  a  girl  that  always  seemed  more  half-wild  and  half-hallowed  than  a  mere  high  schooler.  it  had  started  as  all  things,  with  small  acts  not  meant  to  amount  too  much:  a  few  extra  sandwiches  from  work  here  and  an  old  jacket  or  pair  of  jeans  of  anna's  there.  that  was  in  the  beginning  though  and  kratos  aurion  was  far  beyond  the  beginning.  now, but  he  could  recall  it  ever  so  bittersweetly.  as  how  then  his  5:30pms  had  been  spent  actively  seeking  the  misplaced  girlhood  out  whenever  he  could.  she  was  always  so  shy  and  skittish ,  yet  also  forlorn  (  a  thousand  yard  stare  filled  with  a million  ghost  eyes  ):  but,  that  was  then  and  this  is  now.  like  genesis  it  started  like  so,  but  not  as  forbidden,  but  still  forcibly  as  pulling  teeth.  she  was  snarky  with  massively  spit  fired  tongue  and  quick  witted  enough  to  put  yuan  to  great  shame.  yet,  underneath  kratos  knows,  had  seen  it  all  too  well:  that  she  was  just  a  very  sad  and  very  alone  little  girl.

so ,  of  course  he  begun  gathering  information  here  and  there (  what  was  the  point  in  being  a  high  ranking  member  of  cruxis  if  he  couldn’t  pull  a  few  strings?  ):  but  she ,  now  known  as  edna ,  pulled  and  tugged  and  resisted  as  prey  trapped  inside  a  hunger  hunters  eyes.  for  naught  but  a  moment ,  ephemeral  and  still  closely  guarded ,  the  hollowness  and  snark  within  her  seemed  to  disperse  and  she  seemed  to  be  so  much  more  earthbound ,  so  much  more  grounded  in  an assumption  (  of  remembering  how  it  felt  to  be  loved  and  cared  for  ):  had  she  had  let  go  of  her  walls ,  let the  name  of  her  only  living  family  slip  (  how  she  waited  and  waited  and  kept  every  letter  as  it  was  her  own  living  gospel ,  as  her  own  written  alter  of  worship  ):  how  the  name of  eizen tied  with  his  military  branch  and  deployment  unit  had  connected  far  too  easily ,  how  shattered  the  lingering  fragments  of  a  girl  whom  now  was  lost  amongst  the  pieces  laid  before  his  feet  and  kratos ,  even  with  his  love  by  his  side ,  wasn’t  sure  what  to  do. but  what  else  was  kratos  nor  anna  meant  to  do?  it  was  the  eve  of  nine  months  of  …  somewhat  knowing  her  and  kratos  did  what  he  could ,  what  he  was  allowed  to  do  (  a  combination  of  what  he  thought  was  best ,  therapist  advice , and  what  edna  gave  within  arms  reach  ):  but  wasn’t  this  the  purpose  of  abundance  and  adulthood ,  hadn’t  this  been  the  point  of  being  able  to  provide  in  excesses  for  his  family — to  also  give  those  without  a  home  one  too?  grief  did  not  have  a time  limit ,  even  if  we  often  wished  it  too.  how  could  he  compare  (  kratos  couldn’t  nor  would  he  ):  maybe  he  could  share  the  closest  he’d  ever  been  to  loss ,  mayhap  he  could  talk  about  the  first  women  whom  had  ever  loved  him ,  before  he  even  knew  what  he  was  to  love  and  be  loved:  his  dearest  mother.

it  is ,  however ,  a  moment  of  sentimental  frailty  that  is  not  meant  to  last:  kratos  wishes  to  speak  on  the  love  that  can  still  be  found ,  even  within  the  loss ,  longing ,  and  grief  but  would  the  words  that  he  wanted  to  leave  his  tongue  even  come  close  to  her ,  in  the  ways  that  he  would  hope  would  reach  her?  kratos’  soul  twists  and  turns  and  bites  at  itself  in  a  deplorable  devoted  act  of self-punishment  and  within  him  is two  beings  chanting  (  something  about  duty  /  something  about  god  ):  truly ,  even  one  blessed  as  he  still  held  much  sin between  his  teeth  but  where  there  was  sin  lay  the  grounds  for  redemption  and  repentance  and  divine  self-sacrifice.  ❝ eiz—he  wouldn’t  want  you  like  this.  to  miss  someone  is  a  means  of  knowing  how  much  you  loved  them. when  it  gets  too  much,  ❞  it  was  spoken  from  experience,  from  a  place  of  the  purest  love.  in  the  doorway  of  her  bedchambers  was  anna  ready  to  jump  need  kratos  find  his  words  giving  additional  trials  to  the  living  embodiment  before  him,  but  his  will  and  kindheartedness  had  gotten  them  to  this  point  and  it was  an  attempt,  a  closer  attempt ,  and  for  kratos ,  that  would  be  enough.

❝ whenever  i  miss  her,  my  mother.  ❞  because  even  a  living  god  king  could  grieve,  what  was  a  man  if  not  the  grief  of  all  those  he  loved  and  would  ever  love?  ❛ i  recall  all  the  parts  of her  i  loved,  and  yes  it  was  everything,  her  laugh ,  the  way  she  would  hum  while  cooking  stew ,  the  smells  of  her  favorite  perfumes.  ❞  but ,  as  with  all  things ,  grief  was  still  grief  and  it  had  no  time  limit.  ❝  everyone ,  including  myself  at  times ,  wants  you  to  stop  being  sad  but  you ,  like  myself:  will  never  stop  being  sad.  how  could  they  ever  expect  you  too,  how  could  we?  how  could  i?  ❞

its  the  way  he  looks  at  her  tucked  in  form ,  she  was  already  incredibly  small  but  this  way  she  looked  even  smaller  (  all  the  more  childlike,  all  the  more  wounded  ):  and  mayhap ,  he  would  have  found  some  piece  of  beauty  in  this grotesque  decadence  (  death  held  much  beauty ,  for  it  had  once  held  life  ): if  only  it  had  come  as  the  payment  for love ,  without  the  transaction  of  loss  and  for  stolen  happiness — but  all  he  feels  is sorrow  and  grief , sainted  yet  acrid ,  as  in  his  soul festers  a  venomous  blasphemous  maw:  the  weary  bones  of  a  man  only  trying  his  best.  ❝ it  has  been  said  time  heals  all  wounds  but  i  do  not  agree.  much  time  has  passed  since  the  loss  of  my  mother  and  i  long  for  her  embrace  everyday ,  i  have  never  once  stopped.  like  you ,  i  nearly  lost  myself  or …  did  lose  myself  for  much  time  within  the  sadness  and  grief.  but ,  with  time  also  brought  the  acknowledgment  of  accepting  but  never  forgetting.  even  discussing  her  with  you now ,  it  hurts ,  my  heart  weeps  but  my  soul  doesn’t  shatter ,  not  anymore.  ❞

that  is,  what  kratos  doesn’t  say.  he  doesn’t  say  how  his  soul  cannot  shatter  any  longer  because  the  soul  of  whom  he  had  been  before  anna ,  before  lloyd — before  his  family,  edna  included,  had  been  broken  into  pieces  that  could  never  be  put  back  together.  his  mind ,  having  gone  insane ,  had  covered  the  hollowed  memory  with  scar  tissue  to  cope ,  but  the  pain  had  never  left  him  and  much  like  edna ,  would  never  leave  him.  ❝ when  you  no  longer  are  lost  in  the  grief ,  in  the  longing  for ,  in  the  loss.  ❞  gently ,  his  hand  extends  to  gently  pat  her  hand ,  his  eyes  noticing  how  her  sleeves  had  become  soaked  from  her  snot  nose  filled  tears.  ❝ we’ll  be  right  here,  edna.  ready  for  you  in  whichever  way  you  will permit  us.  ❞  because ,  sometimes  life  gave  too  much  unhappiness  and  tragedy  to  those  whom  did  not  deserve  it ,  least  of  all  the  flowering  youth  of  tomorrow.  kratos  and  the  budding  flower  child  before  him  where  grief-stricken  and  desperate for  the  warmth  of  a  summer  that  never  came  during  their  coldest  and  loneliest  of  winters  but  mayhap ,  together  his  family ,  their  family  could  make  even  the  closest of  winters  bestow  upon  their  lives  the  warmest  of  sunlight  upon  their  blossoming  earth.

[originskey]

Hellooooo everybody

Activity on my accounts has been a little slow. Without going into a lot of details I've been in a lot of pain for the past two weeks due to some Unforeseen Complications with a typically mild procedure. It's almost debilitating and I'm working with my doctor to find the happy medium for pain management. I don't usually like posting about this kind of thing but it's put a damper on a lot of things, esp writing, and comes with fun side effects like confusion and forgetfulness (among other things)

Eventually(tm) I'll get to responses, but in the meantime thank you for your patience and understanding <3

[goron-king-darunia]

Annon-Guy: The 18 Symphonia Characters are held in a torture room... but instead of being harmed, they are being tickled instead!

How do they respond to their tickle torture!? (Assuming they are ticklish)

I would argue that tickling constitutes harm if the person being tickled is ticklish. Obviously not a grave harm. Better than regular torture for sure. But there is a reason it is called... Tickle Torture. I'm assuming the hypothetical tickling is not meant to actually drive them to hypoxia, i.e. it's not so severe that they can't breathe, for the purpose of this ask.

Gonna be a little mature with some of the responses. With that said, here we go.

Lloyd: Not ticklish, nothing bothers him. His body is as much a tool for him as it is a vessel for his existence so he's used to being touched. If he was ticklish, he wouldn't bother trying to hide it. He'd be openly laughing. Would enjoy it from friends and hate it from anyone else.

Colette: Very ticklish and very giggly about it or at least she was before her angelic transformation. With angelic powers, she can probably turn off the ticklish response if she wants to. Automatically associates tickling with friendship, though. Enjoys being tickled. Would be 300% confused if it was explained to her that the tickling was meant to be torture.

Raine: Was ticklish as a child, is no longer ticklish. If she was ticklish, she would be a beast at hiding it. Would hate it from anyone if she was still ticklish.

Genis: Still ticklish, hates it. Associates it with being treated like a child. But he's also pretty good at hiding it. He can control himself from even breathing weird for about a minute before snapping.

Sheena: Ticklish but you literally would never know. Hides it even better than Raine. Actively trained to control her breathing during tickling. Skin still twitches as a ticklish response, though. Would summon Corrine to free her and absolutely kick your ass for tickling her.

Zelos: Also grew out of being ticklish. Would laugh while being tortured anyway just to fuck with you. Would absolutely use a girl's ticklishness against her. If he was still ticklish, he'd make you feel gross for daring to tickle him if he didn't want it. He would actively imply that it's a sex thing for him while being tortured until you stopped. Unless you're a pretty girl, then he'd let you keep tickling him.

Presea: Would be ticklish by nature but isn't due to the effect of the botched Exsphere thing. Would probably regain being ticklish as the effects of basically being poisoned by a parasitic rock wears off. Would probably invent a charm to help the user grow out of being ticklish. Finds ticklish sensations unpleasant and inconvenient.

Regal: Not ticklish. If he was ticklish he'd be indifferent to it. The laughter response would be reflexive and he'd have no real opinion on it. "Being ticklish is a natural human thing. We can't be certain of the evolutionary purpose, exactly, but we have several theories." 8 minute lecture on possible explanations for why people are ticklish.

Kratos: Not ticklish, would absolutely hate it if he was. Would cuss you out between reflexive laughter if you tried to tickle torture him. Would hate it and find the forced laughter shameful. Would kill you for doing it.

Seles: Ticklish but good at hiding it. Would probably die of a coughing fit from laughing too hard if tickled without an Exsphere. Would absolutely bludgeon you to unconsciousness for tickling her if she had an Exsphere though. Would allow it as friendly play from Zelos and probably enjoyed it as a child. Hates tickling from anyone as an adult.

Mithos: Would kill you before you got the chance to find out. Is ticklish. Permanently turned off the ability to feel ticklish sensations with his Cruxis Crystal.

Emil: Ticklish. Unreasonably so because Ratatosk dumped all the ticklishness into Emil. Would laugh to the point of tears. Hates being tickled because it's overstimulating. Ratatosk: Not ticklish. Would have been only slightly ticklish before shoving all the ticklishness into Emil. Would absolutely answer the question of "are you ticklish?" with "I have diarrhea" because he knows that's the only response that would keep people from trying to tickle you. Fails to recognize that that response basically tacitly admits that he is ticklish. Even though he's not ticklish, he would murder you for trying to tickle him and would double murder you for tickling Emil into laughing so hard he cried.

Marta: Ticklish but only wants to be tickled by Emil. Very giggly. Got into tickle fights with her mom and dad when she was young and got VERY frustrated when she figured out Brute wasn't ticklish and was just laughing and letting her win to appease her.

Richter: Not ticklish. Answers the question of "are you ticklish?" with silence. Will twist your wrist if you try to find out. If he was ticklish, he would be so poor at hiding it. He'd be tearing the restraints and/or dislocating his own joints attempting to avoid being tickled. But he would pretend to be ticklish if he was, say, hiding a centurion's core on his person in an attempt to avoid being frisked. Would beat you up and call it sexual harassment if you tried to tickle him, regardless.

Aqua: Not ticklish. Pretends to be. Thinks tickling is a cute human bonding activity. Wants to be tickled by Richter.

Tenebrae: Not ticklish. Pretends to be, but only to shame people that touch him without permission by startling them with overly loud laughter.

Alice: Not ticklish. Would kill you for trying to find out. If she was ticklish she would kill you for even looking at her funny because she 100% got tickle-tortured as a kid at the orphanage. Would fake being ticklish to make you let your guard down if it made it easier for her to get what she wanted from you.

Decus: Not ticklish. Pretends to be exclusively as a ploy to get Alice to tickle him as "punishment."

Bonus: Aster is ticklish and it's 100% both a sex thing and a bonding thing. He has several loose screws in that brain of his and this is one of them. Would get kicked out of the Tickle Torture rooms for getting off on it.

[richea]

[Translation] Kratos of the Expiation: End of chapter 1

This update brings us to page 50/317. It's a long one, covering 22 pages and 3 chapter parts. If you're interested in Kratos backstory crumbs, this is definitely one you'll want to read. For part 6: Dubbed / Subbed

Chapter 1: Part 4 of 6

Having received the oracle, the Chosen returned to her home with Kratos in tail. For the journey ahead, they’d need to write up his contract as a mercenary, as well as decide who would be tagging along. A map detailing the surrounding area was spread atop the dining table. The Chosen―Colette Brunel, her father―Frank Brunel, her grandmother―Phaidra Brunel, the village mayor, and Kratos all sat around it.

The first trial the Chosen must undergo―receiving the oracle―went as well as expected. It was the first time Kratos had witnessed it himself, but it went exactly as it had been described to him. The angel bearing the oracle descends and bestows a Cruxis Crystal upon the Chosen. A Cruxis Crystal is the same thing as a hi-Exsphere. Wearing this, the Chosen is ready to undergo the process of becoming an angel. From there, the Tower of Salvation―the symbol of regeneration―appears, and the Chosen is dispatched towards her next location. This was how the trial of the oracle always went. Remiel had been the previous oracle-bearing angel as well, and he seemed competent at the job. It seems he’d been informed that Kratos would be tagging along, which is why he wasn’t surprised to see him. Kratos wondered why he was acting as if Colette was his daughter, but he soon learned why. Apparently a rumor had spread in Iselia that the Chosen’s real father was actually an angel, and Remiel used that to his advantage.

“I suppose the place to start would be Triet. This was where my sister first embarked during her journey,” Phaidra, the old woman, stated as she gave the map a sharp look.

Phaidra is the previous Chosen’s younger sister. The air of refinement Kratos sensed when he met her in front of the temple wasn’t unfounded. She was a lot like her sister, Aithra. Kratos had been in charge during Aithra’s journey too. She left home on her Journey of Regeneration, carrying the hopes and dreams of humanity on her back―and perished. That was 70 years ago.

The Chosen’s lineage all grow up hearing various secrets of World Regeneration. Those secrets are not shared with the outside world, but are instead passed from parent to child, and child to grandchild. Many of those secrets involve the mortality of the Chosen, and due to this, those in the family tend to be clad in a different air than the rest of the world.

“Indeed. Triet is a city in the desert. We’ll need to prepare carefully in order to reach it.”

Kratos pointed out the route from Iselia to Triet on the map.

“This route is the best, as it gets us there the fastest while also avoiding as much trouble as possible. If you took the more direct path, you’d run into the sandworm’s nest.”

“You certainly know your stuff,” Frank said as he looked at Kratos with a hint of praise.

“I’m a mercenary. I need to know these things to get by.”

Kratos darted his eyes away from Frank and folded his arms. He stroked the muscle of his arm with his fingertip, and discovered that he was more tense than he realized. Explaining the route from Iselia to Triet had dredged up memories of that abhorrent journey. Even though he was an angel who wasn’t able to feel physical fatigue, the strain on him mentally made him feel weary. He felt an intense exhaustion wash over him, and before he knew it was forcing himself to blink back tears.

He knew the route between Triet and Iselia so well it hurt. That was the path he had taken when going to Iselia with his family of three; the village with a non-aggression treaty and ties to the human ranch.

“We’ll be leaving tomorrow, right?” Colette asked. Her hi-Exsphere―the Cruxis Crystal―glistened on her chest.

“Yes. It’d be best to leave as soon as possible. I’d like to set out before sunrise.”

“You’ll be leaving that early?”

Frank looked at Colette, worried. He was sending his daughter on a journey to her death, after all. He likely wanted to drag out their parting for as long as possible. But with the Renegades on the move, they didn’t have that luxury. Cruxis isn’t aware of this, but the one leading the Renegades is Yuan Ka-Fai, one of Cruxis’ top men. Kratos kept that a secret from everyone. It’s not like Yggdrasill had any interest in the Renegades, anyway.

Yuan probably wants to kill Colette as soon as possible. The Renegades operate to stop Martel’s revival, making Colette a big threat to them since she’s such a close match. Luckily, Yuan is currently overseeing Tethe’alla’s preparations for the World Regeneration, so he shouldn’t be able to do anything until he’s done with his briefing session with Pronyma, the leader of the Desian’s Five Grand Cardinals. Kratos wanted to pass through Triet before this happened. According to his research, the Renegade’s base was somewhere in Triet’s desert. Before Yuan returned to his post as one of the Renegades, Kratos wanted to cross through the desert.

The room had a heavy, gloomy atmosphere. As Kratos stood up to excuse himself as the only non-family member, the doorbell rang.

“Oh, that must be Raine.”

Phaidra got up to open the front door, and on the other side stood a beautiful silver-haired woman.

“I’m terribly sorry for running late.”

“We’ve been waiting for you. Come on in.”

Phaidra beckoned her inside, and Raine sat in a chair at the end of the table. Her eyes scanned the faces of those present, stopping at Kratos.

“Is this the mercenary who helped my students?”

Kratos nodded, and Raine flashed an obligatory smile at him in return.

“I’m Raine Sage, a teacher for this village’s school. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

It was a fair introduction, but Kratos could tell that she was being cautious. She seemed to be quite the wise woman.

“Kratos Aurion, a mercenary. I’m traveling around looking for work.”

“Work? In this area?”

“I’d heard rumors that the Chosen would soon be embarking on her Journey of Regeneration. I figured I’d swing by and see if any job opportunities popped up.”

“Then it sounds like you got exactly what you were looking for.”

Raine stared Kratos down. Kratos met her gaze, and Raine seemed content at that. She turned to look at Phaidra.

“I heard you wanted to speak with me?”

“Yes. Allow me to ask you once again: Would you be willing to accompany Colette on her journey? Your wisdom, calm decision making skills and healing artes would certainly come in handy.”

“I would love to, but I can’t just leave my brother Genis behind...”

“That child is your brother?”

Kratos thought back to the silver-haired boy from earlier that day. He used magic, and the only ones who are able to do that are those with elven blood. There are those out there who can get an injection that allows them to use magic, like Kratos himself did, but that’s limited to those within Cruxis’ ranks. Knowing that elves are almost extinct in Sylvarant narrowed down what these two might actually be.

“Yes.”

Raine looked at Kratos, cautious.

“We’ll look after Genis for you.”

Raine seemed shocked at Frank’s suggestion.

“Well... But why do you want me to go with her so badly? I’m aware the priests were killed, but surely there’s―”

“I wanted to have you accompany her from the get go,” Phaidra interjected quietly. “The Chosen of Regeneration will be on the path to her end, so I want a woman to accompany her, of whom she can confide in.”

“Her... end?” Raine muttered, and Colette flashed her a smile.

Seeing that smile made Kratos realize Colette truly had understood her fate as a Chosen. That’s likely why she was always so polite and warm.

“The Chosen undergoes a series of trials, and in doing so becomes an angel. After becoming an angel, she’s taken in by Cruxis, and there loses her life.”

Raine’s entire face stiffened. On the contrary, Colette kept a gentle smile on her face and nodded.

“By sacrificing the Chosen’s life, the world will be regenerated.”

“I... I can’t believe this...”

Kratos closed his eyes hearing them talk.

This conversation likely happened among the Chosen’s lineage each time the World Regeneration began. Though this wasn’t the full truth.

The Chosen doesn’t exactly “die.” She becomes a vacant, living corpse, and Martel takes over her body. From there, the Chosen herself ceases to exist and Martel takes her place. If this doesn’t happen, the Chosen is simply killed. Either way, the Chosen is doomed to a horrible fate. Kratos’ job was to lead her to that doom.

A demon. That’s what he was―a demon. He was neither angel nor human, just a horrible, terrible brute. Despite this, he knew that if the Chosen―if Colette succeeded and let Martel take over her body, the world would be saved.

“Professor Sage, please. I’d like you to come with me, and then return home to tell Lloyd and everyone else about my journey. You can tell them that I became an angel, and I’m living happily by the Goddess Martel’s side. I think that’d be better than them knowing I’m dead.”

“Colette...”

Raine desperately tried to hold back her tears at Colette’s words.

“I’m so sorry to ask something so hard of you, Professor...”

How would that boy react if this strong, kind Chosen were to disappear? The boy who had the same name as his son popped into Kratos’ head.

Chapter 1: Part 5 of 6

Botta’s report was incredibly irritating to Yuan. How embarrassing it was to have to send out a whole squad just to kill a 16 year old girl, and still manage to shamefully come back having failed to do that. He could maybe understand if they had just felt remorse for having to kill an innocent girl, but it wasn’t that. They had simply failed to do their job at all. How pathetic was that?

Though in a way, he couldn’t blame them given the circumstances.

Kratos Aurion had appeared. He was Yuan’s friend, as well as his biggest foe. It’s true that Botta likely wouldn’t hold a candle to him.

Yuan lost count of how many times he’d let out a deep sigh, and tossed the documents he was holding onto the desk.

It was frustrating to be stuck in Welgaia at a time like this. Though it was thanks to his position that he was able to swiftly get so many leads on what the Chosen of Regeneration was doing. He was stuck getting insider leads, but for someone who doesn’t like meticulous planning ahead, this was incredibly suffocating to Yuan.

There you are, getting mad again. There’s no need to stress so much. Just take a deep breath.

He felt as if he heard the voice of a woman he once knew.

Yuan gave a bitter smile. It was exactly times like this that required a clear and steady head.

Anyway, typically speaking, it would be unfathomable that Kratos would be at Iselia. Yuan was pretty sure Kratos wasn’t there by choice. That was a cursed, horrid land where Kratos lost his family. Even should he descend down to earth, that one area was the last place he would want to go.

There was only one person who would be able to order Kratos to do something against his will.

Mithos Yggdrasill. This was all likely part of his ruse. Yuan felt ashamed at his own inability to foresee this. He knew that this Chosen had a high chance of succeeding and that Yggdrasill would likely take whatever measures needed to ensure her success, but he never expected that he’d dispatch Kratos in order to do so. To Yggdrasill, Kratos was both the human who had betrayed him, as well as the very seal that holds back his biggest trump card. If by some chance Kratos were to die, Yggdrasill himself would fall.

Perhaps Yggdrasill doesn’t believe that “some chance” will come to pass. If so, the faith he places in Kratos is almost akin to a religious devotion, in a similar vein to the love he holds for his older sister, Martel.

The ringtone to his office’s communicator rang. Yuan hit the switch on the speaker system, as if it was the most irritating thing he’d ever do in his life.

“What do you want?”

“Lord Yuan. It is I, Pronyma of the Desian’s Five Grand Cardinals.”

“So you wish to speak about the World Regeneration. Very well then.”

Shortly after, Pronyma appeared in Yuan’s office. She bowed, and Yuan started to speak.

“So the time has finally arrived.”

“Indeed it has. The Tower of Salvation has appeared in Sylvarant, as I have seen with my own eyes.”

“Is that so. Then the Chosen is likely to embark on her journey soon enough. Speaking of,” Yuan continued on while keeping himself composed, so as to not raise suspicion, “have you finished your meeting with Kratos?”

Despite being one of Cruxis’ top men, Yuan hadn’t been informed that Kratos was down helping the Journey of Regeneration. Kratos is Sylvarant’s overseer. If he was down on earth, that would mean someone else is controlling the Desians. Depending on who was in charge, that would change how Yuan would have the Renegades operate. He needed to pry this information out of Pronyma.

“Did you not hear of what Lord Kratos is doing? It seems Lord Yggdrasill sent him down to earth on a mission.”

There was bewilderment in Pronyma’s words.

“...No, this is the first I’ve heard of it.”

Yuan responded to her, feigning ignorance, which prompted her to tilt her head in confusion.

“Perhaps news is simply coming slowly to you because you are the overseer for Tethe’alla instead. I heard Lord Yggdrasill sent him as a bodyguard for the Chosen.”

Yggdrasill has no doubt about this Chosen becoming Martel’s vessel. He’s probably just keeping information tight in order to make sure absolutely nothing can go wrong. There’d be no other reason why Yuan would be kept this in the dark.

“...Lord Yuan, do you truly see no issue in Lord Kratos being a bodyguard?”

“What are you implying?”

“Nothing really. It’s just that when I heard that Lord Kratos had descended onto Sylvarant, that past incident sprung to mind...”

“I see.

Yuan glanced down at the map of Sylvarant and rested his elbows on his desk, exhausted.

It’s been 70 years since Kratos defected from Cruxis. The event had been a complete and utter surprise to both Yuan and Yggdrasill. Despite a number of quarrels, they had been under the impression that Kratos was going to support Yggdrasill in working towards his Age of Lifeless Beings. But unbeknownst to anyone, Kratos’ heart had made a quiet shift away from following Yggdrasill. He descended onto Sylvarant and seemingly disappeared. It was decades until Cruxis was able to find him again. When they finally did, Kratos had a woman by his side―his wife, Anna.

Anna was held in a human ranch as an Exsphere host body―a test subject who would grow an Exsphere in her body to produce a Cruxis Crystal, as part of the Angelus Project. However, she escaped from the ranch with the Cruxis Crystal still growing within her. Kratos had assisted her in doing so. The two of them wandered about Sylvarant aimlessly, as if looking for something, and Cruxis pursued them relentlessly.

It was during this time that Yuan, as the leader of the Renegades, secretly got in contact with Kratos. The two of them―rather, their family was staying in a small abandoned fishing hut by the seaside. When Yuan visited, Anna wasn’t found within the building that was falling apart.

---

“So this is where you’ve been living,” Yuan asked. Kratos―who was on night watch―lifted his head. His Cruxis Crystal had been removed from his hand. The light from the fire flickered against the battered boards of the hut’s wall. Strung up by pillars with rope was a cloth that Yuan didn’t recognize the purpose of.

“Yuan. Have you come to kill me?”

“...No. I came here as your old friend.”

“...Is that so.”

Kratos lifted up the pot and poured its contents into a cup. It was a very pleasant-smelling coffee. Yuan removed his cape and sat across from Kratos.

“Where’s Anna? It’s not safe for a woman to be wandering about at this hour.”

“She’s on the beach. Noishe is with her. Our son wouldn’t stop crying, so she brought him out so the sounds of the waves would calm him.”

“Son? You have a son?!”

Kratos nodded and handed Yuan a cup of coffee.

“He’s three months old.”

Yuan was dumbfounded and looked up at the ceiling of the hut. That weird looking cloth he saw hung up was a diaper. The is the man who was once a world-famous captain of the knights. For some reason, thinking about this made Yuan sad.

“I can’t believe this. Do you even understand what kind of position you’re in?”

“I’d like to believe I do.”

“What were you thinking? Having an infant around will only hinder you when you’re constantly on the run.”

“...You’re not wrong about that.”

A smile crawled on Kratos’ face and Yuan let out a sigh.

“What is your aim right now, anyway?”

“The same thing you’re trying to do. I want to stop Mithos and his Age of Lifeless Beings.”

It’s true that Yuan was operating as the Renegades in secret. Such a thing only made him more acutely aware of how hard it was to go against Yggdrasill’s operations.

“What exactly do you think you can accomplish all on your own?”

“I am alone, you’re right, but I have a trick up my sleeve that you don’t.”

This was true. Kratos possessed the one and only thing that Yggdrasill feared. Kratos was capable of disabling the Eternal Sword―the very thing that had allowed Yggdrasill to seize control over the entire world.

Long ago, Mithos Yggdrasill had won over the trust of the Summon Spirits and been adored by them. The Eternal Sword was granted to him by Origin as a sign of said trust. However, surely the King of the Summon Spirits wouldn’t approve of how the world had been split in two, as it still currently is. Therefore, Yggdrasill sealed Origin away. He used Kratos’ mana in order to do so, and Kratos would need to die in order for the seal to be undone.

“Your trump card costs you your very life. How do you plan to work around that?”

“That’s where you come in. I have an idea.”

Kratos stared at Yuan with determination in his eyes. Yuan stared back at him.

“My plan is to kill you and get Origin to recognize me as the Eternal Sword’s master. Are you saying you’ll give me your life?”

“Yes, after I land a lethal blow on Cruxis.”

“A lethal blow? Such as?”

“...I’m going to kill Mithos.” Kratos gulped down his coffee. “Once things are settled, you can have your way with undoing the seal on Origin.”

Yuan was speechless.

Killing Mithos―the weight of those words was not lost on Yuan.

He was a friend of theirs who they had spent months―years together with. He was the disciple to Kratos’ teacher, and at the same time, he was like family; they had such a warm bond between one another. Yggdrasill’s older sister―Martel―had entrusted Yggdrasill to Kratos. And even if Kratos did defeat Yggdrasill as he claims, he will perish along with him.

“Kratos... We have spent far too long simply twiddling our thumbs. We had simply tried to overlook the fact that Yggdrasill―no, that Mithos’ light no longer flickered as it once did. I know you feel the same way I do.”

Kratos gave no response. The hut fell silent, making the sound of the flames flickering feel even more prevalent. From a distance, the sound of a lullaby could be heard. It was Anna.

“Was having a family what finally turned you to determination?”

Kratos set his cup down and stood up. He was likely going to see Anna.

“...When the time comes, I’m going to have my family escape to Iselia. That village has the non-aggression treaty in place, after all.”

“Does she know about your plans?”

“...No. Not a thing.”

“And you’re just fine with keeping her in the dark?”

Yuan stood up as he asked this. He wasn’t actually looking for an answer. Words weren’t needed for Kratos to express affirmation. That’s just the kind of man he was.

---

“...I doubt we have anything to worry about.” Yuan spun around to face Pronyma and crossed his legs. “What matters is that he did come back. He even pledged his allegiance to Lord Yggdrasill.”

“Do you truly believe so?”

“Hmph. I see women are doubtful no matter the race. Kratos... has changed. Losing his family caused him to cast off his shell, becoming a mere husk of what he once was. What exactly do you think a husk is capable of doing?”

“...You are correct. I was too abrasive in my words, wasn’t I? I do ask for your forgiveness.”

“It’s no matter. Traitors are to be doubted. I do have to ask though, if Kratos is down on the Journey of Regeneration, who is it that’s controlling the Desians?”

“That would be me. I am to control them and report everything to Lord Yggdrasill.”

Pronyma had confirmed what was the worst possible scenario.

“...I see. Then there’s nothing to worry about.” Yuan tried his best to hide his internal conflict from Pronyma and gave her a nod. “Then let us discuss what is to become of Tethe’alla post-World Regeneration.”

Yuan slipped Pronyma the documents he had gathered. As she was distracted examining them, Yuan started to plot a way to bring about Yggdrasill’s demise.

Chapter 1: Part 6 of 6

Walking through the forest at night overwhelmed Kratos with a sense of deja vu. This was the first time Kratos had ever walked down this road, that was for sure. And yet the scenery itself was familiar.

That was 15 years ago. Dashing earnestly through the forest at night, chasing after his wife Anna and his son Lloyd. No matter how many he took down, enemies just kept popping up. It felt as if an entire lifetime passed before he finally caught up to Anna and Lloyd.

“Genis, why are you coming along?”

Walking in the front was Raine, who was speaking to her younger brother Genis who was trailing behind her. Hearing this snapped Kratos back to reality.

This wasn’t the same forest as back then. It was close, but it wasn’t the same place. What he’d seen was a mere illusion, prompted by some small obscurities lining up.

Deep within this forest lies the house of a dwarf. Raine claimed the dwarf was Lloyd Irving’s adoptive father. Colette wanted to say goodbye to Lloyd tonight, since they’d be setting off so early in the morning. Knowing the fate of the Chosen, it was only right they let her. This was her final farewell, after all.

Kratos surveyed the forest with a complicated feeling in his chest. Iselia Forest was familiar to him, and there was a boy here named Lloyd, who even had the same last name as his wife Anna―Irving. Things lined up too perfectly for him to simply dismiss it as all just being a coincidence. It’s not like Kratos had seen his son’s corpse with his own eyes. He wanted to hope that such a miracle had actually occurred. Simultaneously, a part of him begged that such a miracle didn’t occur. Either way, he was terrified of whatever the truth was.

“R-Raine, you’re scaring me.”

Genis shivered and hid behind Colette, who was walking beside him. Kratos couldn’t help but snicker at how he and Genis got scared at the same time.

“Wh-What’s so funny, mister?”

“...Nothing, ignore me. However, I think fear is something you feel from deep within your own heart. Perhaps you feel guilty about something, and that’s why Raine’s voice scared you?”

As if hitting a bulls-eye, Genis gulped.

“Genis. Did something happen? Your clothes do seem awfully dirty. Don’t tell me you got up to some sort of mischief?”

“N-No way! I was just, um, doing something with Lloyd, and...”

“Don’t tell me you got him involved too.”

“I-I said, I didn’t do anything bad! Geez! Can’t I just do stuff without you having to know everything? It’s none of your business!”

“...Fine. This forest is dangerous though, you know. I didn’t want you coming along.”

“It’ll be fine, Professor. Kratos is with us!”

Colette said this so innocently that all Raine could do was shrug her shoulders.

“You’re not wrong about that. Having a mercenary with us is reassuring, but...”

Raine stared at Kratos. At this, Genis also looked up at him.

“Mister, are you going with Colette tomorrow too?”

“I am.”

“Wow. Hey, how long do you think it’ll be until the world is regenerated?”

“Who can say?”

“I’ll do my best to come home as quickly as I can!”

Colette made a pose triumphantly. Genis grabbed at the end of Colette’s skirt and furrowed his eyebrows sadly.

“...Okay. We’ll all be waiting for you.”

They continued up a small hill, and the sound of a small stream came into earshot. In between the trees, a light could be seen. The dwarf’s house was close.

With his heightened hearing, Kratos could hear the sound of Lloyd and a man who sounded like a dwarf arguing.

“You didn’t let the Desians see your Exsphere, did you?”

Kratos felt as if a stake had been driven into his heart. He stopped in his tracks and shut off his hearing.

He’d seen that Lloyd had an Exsphere during the quarrel in front of the temple. But what did he mean by it being an Exsphere he had to hide from the Desians?

He wanted to know, and he also really didn’t want to know. He felt completely torn between the two options and bit his lip. While Kratos stood there completely spaced out, the rest of the group had already approached Lloyd’s house. It seems they’d finally also heard the argument from inside the house. They were standing in front of the door, looking at one another. Kratos approached while suppressing his hearing to the normal human-level. Even then, he could clearly hear Lloyd and the dwarf arguing. A shiver ran down his spine.

“...That Exsphere is your mother’s keepsake. The Desians killed your mother in order to take it from her.”

“...They did?”

“I told you about how I found you at the cliff near the ranch, right? Your mother was still conscious at that time, so she explained everything. There’s no doubt about it.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?!”

That was his limit. Standing behind the others, who were bewildered, Kratos shut his eyes and turned off his hearing entirely. He couldn’t bear to hear another word.

There was no doubt about it. He was... Kratos’ lost hope.

He sensed a person approaching. Kratos opened his eyes to see Lloyd standing there, looking at them all rather awkwardly. Kratos adjusted his hearing to be the normal level once again, and the boy’s voice filled his ears.

“Oh...let me guess...you heard that just now?”

“I’m sorry, because of me, you...”

For some reason, Genis was apologizing to Lloyd over what happened. Kratos wondered why, but that was the last of his worries right now. Kratos studied Lloyd’s house while taking shallow breaths so that nobody would notice. It was a wonderfully built two-story house. Dwarves typically live in caverns, so this was likely built for Lloyd’s sake. There was a bench, a flower bed, a clothesline...

As Kratos’ eyes scanned the surroundings, he spotted a stone monument in the garden. His eyes immediately went to study the stone’s engraved words.

Here lies Anna Irving.

Kratos’ face stiffened.

“Lloyd, let’s go up to the terrace.”

“Sure.”

Lloyd went to follow Colette inside the house, and Kratos uttered without thinking.

“This gravestone...”

“Huh?”

Lloyd stopped and turned around.

“Whose gravestone is this?”

“Ah, you heard, right? It’s my mom’s.”

“Anna...hmm... Is your father alive?”

Kratos wondered if his voice was quivering as he asked this. He swallowed. If Lloyd remembered anything from when he was an infant, then maybe...

“...I don’t know. But Dirk is my dad.”

It felt like all of the energy drained from Kratos’ body. He couldn’t tell whether it was from disappointment or relief.

“...Yes. That was a careless thing to ask. I’m sorry.”

One thing was clear.

Lloyd―his son that he failed to protect was alive and well.

Kratos felt as if he had finally regained the life he lost 15 years ago.

[sakuraswordly]

If there is evil in this world, it lurks in the hearts of man.” - Edward D. Morrison (Tales of Phantasia)

If you see in ova, Dhaos already tried to tell them and warn them but humans always thought they know better and if you did not side with them, you were enemies. Dhaos choice to use force and change to evil even if he needs to take blood in his hand.

True that defeating Dhaos was wrong at the end of the game but if we don't defeat Dhaos, he will destroy every human. Dhaos also tried to listen that humans can change like what Chronos thought in Tales of Xillia 2 and Mithos in Tales of Symphonia. So Cless chose to continue to defeat Dhaos because Dhaos's judgement was wrong. There were good humans. If you just wide out everything, that's not going to be better. The same way for Lloyd Irving did in Tales of Symphonia. He knew what he tried to change Colette back to live normal life is wrong but she became like this because Cruxis Crystals or Mithos tried to resurrect Martel. This is wrong even if Mithos planned works and saves the future, this is nothing different from what Dhaos did too. So Lloyd's choice is right to defeat Mithos for the same reason as Cless.

[crush3dmary]

Sair's Fic Recs 2023

Stuff that lives in my head rent free. I may try to update this list from time to time, but these are my All Time Faves (tm). This got long so under a cut. Mostly Tales of Symphonia/Crestoria/Yugioh with some others sprinkled in there.

Tales of Symphonia

Daystar by Windian T / 2.6k / oneshot / Genis/Mithos / character death I'm a sucker for Cruxis Genis AUs and this made my heart ache.

My Goddess by silver_fish T / 4.3k / oneshot / Kratos/Yuan/Martel / no warnings apply Musings on the Kharlan War: Taylor is one of my favourite authors and I'm proud to call them a friend now too, this was the first work of theirs I read and it hit in all the right ways.

Better Luck by QuillMage G / 3k / oneshot / gen, Zelos centric / no warnings apply A fascinating study of the parallels between the people Zelos has allied himself with.

Holy Mother by Phlyarologist T / 1k / oneshot / gen, Mylene centric / no warnings apply Study of Mylene before her death. I really really loved the characterization in this fic, such a fascinating look into Zelos' life and family pre canon.

Guardian by VSSAKJ T / 10k / oneshot / gen, Kratos & Zelos / no warnings apply Lol I'm blocked by this author on twitter but the fic still slaps. A "what if" about the sort of father-son relationship Kratos and Zelos could have had pre canon.

Journey of Forlorn Hope by toniwilder T / 52k / incomplete / gen, Zelos centric / violence, suicide If you liked the "Zelos as chosen of regeneration" bit from Weltschmerz you'll love this. Frankly I think it knocks my fic out of the water, but unfortunately it was never finished. It's still an interesting take on the concept that differs from how I pulled it off.

Lights Out by theexistentiallyqueer G / 400 words / oneshot / gen, Zelos centric / character death Musings on Zelos' "bad end". Absolutely gorgeous.

Paradise by caseyvalhalla M / 3.5k / oneshot / Zelos/Lloyd / mild sexual content Lloyd and Zelos in Flanoir. Well known by now, but one of my favourite zelloyd fics out there.

Between Day and Night (an Everlasting Twilight) by SuikaShoujo T / 8k / incomplete / gen, Zelos centric / no warnings apply My wife's fic! A take on what Zelos' life may have been like in the years between "you should never have been born" and the start of the game. Everyone read it and go bug her to update.

Kratos dies on Derris Kharlan. by jonphaedrus T / 1.3k / oneshot / gen, Kratos centric / character death I'll be the first to admit that Kratos isn't my bias but holy shit, after reading this fic I get it. There's something so wonderfully tragic about his arc and I love that in this time loop fic, every loop ends the same.

Dead Man Walking by SuikaShoujo T / 3.5k / oneshot / onesided Zelos/Lloyd / suicidal ideation This was written for me right before me and my wife started dating, but it's still to this day my favourite of her stuff. I love onesided zelloyd just as much as requited zelloyd, and to this day I still go back and reread this fic, it impacted me that much.

The Broken ones by KujaTribal M / 202k / complete / Zelos/Raine / sexual content, violence I don't remember the last time I was as unable to put down a fic as I was when I was reading this one. An absolutely INSANE (affectionate) epic surrounding Raine and Zelos unleashing a new enemy. Made me see Raine in a completely new light.

Tales of Crestoria

You had it coming by Darkhymns M / 6.8k / oneshot / Vicious/Aegis, onesided Aegis/Rebecca / no warnings apply I'm in a mutual block with this author for unrelated reasons, but this is still one of my favourite fics of all time, like hands down. It was such a beautiful exploration of Aegis' grief and guilt, which is something I wish fic authors would play around with more. One of the only fics to ever make me cry.

Don't Leave by RisuAlto M / 300 words / oneshot / Vicious/Aegis / no warnings apply Some musings on a Viae FWB relationship. Risu if you're out there I miss u but no seriously, I still wonder how you were able to pack such a punch with just a few sentences.

iced tea imported from england by r0wlets T / 1.8k / oneshot / gen, twins centric / no warnings apply Honest to god another one of my favourite fics of all time because funny enough, when I was reading it I laughed so hard iced tea came out my nose (it was, however, not imported from England, just the same old Canadian stuff we get at the grocery store). Parody/crack fic about the twins.

Sinister Desires by bibliophileemily M / 800 words / oneshot / gen, Aegis centric / some violence and sexual content Another study of Aegis that I can reread over and over again. It surprised me to hear Emily wasn't too big on Aegis before she started reading my stuff, because I read this piece she did and thought "you GET it, you GET him". Great little ficlet about Aegis' repression and desires.

The Two-Faced Breeze by SystematicAphrodite M / 90k / ongoing / Aegis/OC / violence Yall ever give something you're a little averse to a chance and end up just totally loving it? Yeah, that was me with this fic. I started reading it in its early days and offered some crit, and SA (who is a good friend of mine) took it and ran with it and turned this story into something excellent. A totally interesting and wild take on Crestoria's lore with a very fun OC. If all fics were as creative as this one I'd never get bored.

Other Tales

The Most Honest Truth by Gargant (Tales of Xillia 2) T / 50k / complete / Julius/Rideaux / no warnings apply Canon divergence AU where Julius looks for a way to save Elle. I won't give away too much, but the journey is just as important as the destination here, I've reread this fic so many times.

Closure by secretagentfan (Tales of Xillia 2) E / 9.6k / oneshot / Victor/Jude, Ludger/Jude / noncon, sexual content I only bookmark porn if there's plot and HOO BOY did this one ever hit. It almost felt more like a character study than it did porn, which I think is why it resonated with me so much haha. Takes place during the fractured dimension where you go to Victor's house.

Volunteer by vandesdelca (Tales of the Abyss) M / 1.8k / oneshot / gen, Van centric / no warnings apply I'm rusty on abyss but Elivan's stuff just gets me every fucking time man. The Van studies and the exploration of why he is the way he is... gut punch after gut punch, and the fact that I got destroyed in less than 2k words!? Impressive. This one in particular I really, really recommend.

Blame by vandesdelca (Tales of the Abyss) T / 300 words / oneshot / gen / no warnings apply Same author as above, this is one of the fics that got me hooked on second person as a style of writing. Amazing prose, and you know how I feel about prose.

Out of Oblivion by silver_fish (Tales of Arise) M / 19k / oneshot / Alphen/Shionne / suicide and violence And again Taylor never fucking misses. A study of Shionne and her relationship with suicide- so much of this resonated with me and my experiences as someone with BPD, I swear I've read this like at least 5 times since it got posted. It's a heavy read, but so worth it.

Achillea by DisappearingMuse (Tales of Berseria) G / 396 words / oneshot / gen / no warnings apply I'll be the first to admit I'm rusty on berseria knowledge but the PROSE in this, damn. I had no idea my heart could break in less than 400 words.

ripe and wicked plums by pixiecircle (Tales of Berseria) E / 13.8k / complete / Velvet/Magilou / sexual content, character death AGAIN, I wasn't much of a magivel shipper (though my Berseria knowledge is a little stifled these days) but this fic absolutely blindsided me. Warning for porn, but the way the author develops their relationship through their series of trysts is just beautiful. The perfect amount of heart wrenching angst to satisfy me.

Yugioh

Scar Tissue by Cliscia E / 91k / unfinished / deathshipping / **warning for everything you can possibly think of I am not fucking around** Bad End AU where Ryou obtains all the Millennium Items and makes the entire world his plaything, particularly Yami Marik. This is my favourite fanfic of all time, NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART, and unfortunately was never finished. Still, it tore my heart out and made me feel things I didn't think fiction could make me feel.

Can't Take It With You by parsonsaj T / 212k / complete / some tendershipping at the end, mostly gen / violence A character study of Ryou Bakura from the beginning to the end of the series. Okay so. This is another fic I absolutely zoomed my way through, all 200k+ of it, because I was just so hooked. I love the author's interpretation of Ryou and the canon divergences were so good. This fic actually inspired something I've got planned at the moment (for symphonia, sorry ygo fans) and I just know I'll be rereading the hell out of it.

Dusk by Ariasune T / 7k / oneshot / thiefshipping / violence Anyone who knows me knows I'm a suck for those "in between" moments we don't see in canon and this fic just satisfies all those urges with thiefshipping for me. And the prose!! Oh my god the prose. I love it.

but what remians by orphan_account T / 823 words / oneshot / gen, Ryou centric / no warnings apply Another second-person fic that really just hits. Wish I could have seen who the original author was and leave them a proper comment, but this little piece is such an interesting dive into Ryou's mindset re: being the host to a malignant spirit.

Rien by RandomDraconic T / 6.9k / oneshot / gen, implied tendershipping, Ryou centric / no warnings apply A beautiful exploration of Ryou's grief with losing Bakura and all the complicated feelings that come along with that. After I read this fic I thought about it nonstop for like 3 days but forgot to bookmark it and spent forever trying to track it down again. It's another one that Just Hits, Man.

Every Loop, It Feels So Real (The Puzzle Pieces All Conspire) by SheIsHoldingACat T / 3.2k / oneshot / gen, Kaiba centric / violence, character death This is another fic I think about over and over again, as you can see by now I'm a real suck for anything with time loops and Charles is an excellent writer who pulls it off beautifully. This one is an exploration of Kaiba's mind crush coma where the only way out is to heal his inner child. Yeah, it's just as good as it sounds!

AN UNWHOLE HALF // IMBALANCE by SheIsHoldingACat T / 11k / ongoing / tendershipping, puzzleshipping / violence I couldn't help myself from putting another Charles fic on here, even if this one isn't finished yet. His writing style just vibes with me so much, and he does my boy Ryou so much justice. One of my favourite interpretations of Ryou here (along with Scar Tissue).

To the Heart by girahimu_sama M / 128k / complete / thiefshipping / no warnings apply I just finished this one recently and it absolutely blew my mind. A canon divergence AU where Marik and Bakura form their partnership before Battle City, culminating in a redemption arc for the Thief King. Can't recommend this one enough.

Other

caught up in circles by sloppybxtch (IT movies) T / 15.3k / oneshot / Eddie/Richie / no warnings apply My sister went through a Reddie phase and I am adamant about the fact that I'll read anything, so they sent me a couple Reddie fics and this one really stuck with me. Time loop with a happy ending, and the fic that showed me how effective it can be to play around with formatting (which is now a staple in my works).

Aeromancy by Measured (Fire Emblem: Tellius) T / 16k / oneshot / Ike/Soren / violence Canon divergence AU where Soren is royalty. I'll admit I need to revisit this one, but I remember it having just the perfect gut punch after gut punch and really loving the writing style.

Mistakes by Antartique (Fire Emblem: 3H) M / 5.5k / oneshot / gen, Sylvain centric / referenced sexual content and abuse Another one that made me go "ah, I get it now". I was neutral about Sylvain until I read this character study.

Through the Night by ageha_nacht (Dr. Stone) T / 999 words / oneshot / Senkuu/Tsukasa / no warnings apply Okay so, once again I don't go here but I'll read anything and my friend Ageha said it was her best work, I can definitely see why. Highly recommended if you're up for a short but emotionally devastating read.