#ouiser

[sideshow-tornado]

Steel Magnolias (1989)

[teddypmedley]

I watched steel magnolias and was overcome with rage when nobody had written any clairee/ouiser fanfiction. so I did it myself

[yeehawesome]

no longer want a brotp, want whatever Ouiser and Drum Eatenton had.

[swordbisexual]

Love Gale’s slutty little earring and slutty little tiddy tattoo. That’s a bisexual right there babey.

[mentally-at-home]

[i-lovefandom]

Ladies of Steel Magnolias

[drustvar]

Ch. 8: Bitter Shadows

Everything begins anew right where it began : at the tavern.

WC: 1,437 A/N: Double chapter drop this week YEET. I think with chapters that are under 2k words I'll be doing that, at least until I catch up to where I currently am (~ch. 18? I think?) Ao3 Link in reblog || Full text available under read more.

The Rowdy Raven was a completely different place during the day. No crowds gathered around card tables or uproarious laughter to interrupt shanty music. Instead it was quiet and empty, a stark contrast to the past two times Rosie had been there. When she and Portia had arrived, she hadn’t even been sure it was open yet. The barkeep hardly looked up from the glasses he was cleaning as they entered, just rolled the toothpick in his mouth and gave them a nod.

“Are you sure he’d be here? It’s not even noon yet,” Rosie asked in a hushed voice, not wanting to break the glassy quiet. 

“Trust me, I know my brother. If he were going to crash anywhere it’d definitely be a place called ‘the Rowdy Raven’. And if he’s in the kind of mood I suspect…well he’d have out-drunk any sailor on the seas by now.” Even though the sun was shining brightly, the ambient light in the tavern was still dim. The two women squinted as they scanned the floor of the bar. A glimpse of auburn in one of the far corners caught Rosie’s eye.

“There,” she whispered and nudged Portia. Julian was slumped over a table, empty tankards scattered around him. His hair fell messily over his eyes; she couldn’t tell if he was awake or not.

“Oh boy,” Portia’s mouth was set in a hard line. “There he is. Listen, when he gets like this, what he really needs is a good boot to the ass. You want to deliver it, or should I?” “You go ahead.” Rosie had a feeling that the very last thing he needed in his state was to be chewed out by the woman he’d so adamantly broken things off with just a few nights ago.  “Right.” Portia strode over and slammed her hands on the table. “Ilya! What do you think you’re doing?” Julian startled, sending a few of the empty steins clattering onto the floor. He lifted his head slowly, his eyes bleary and red as he blinked at them “P-Pasha?” His gaze drifted past her and filled with guilt as he saw Rosie behind her. “Rosie…how did the two of you — where did the two of you come from? How’d you find me?”

“Oh it was easy. We just followed the sounds of miserable spiraling and day drinking. What are you doing here?!” Portia’s voice took on a more urgent tone. “Do you want to be caught?” 

“Caught? Here?” Julian drained the last of his drink from the tankard in his hand. “Nonsense. The bird would fly in and cause a racket.” “Oh, and I’m sure you’re just as spry after a dozen drinks too, right?”

He sighed and slumped back over the table. “If I did get caught I’d deserve it. It’s not safe for either of you to be near me. You’d  better go, before you get tangled in my mess.” He reached for another one of the tankards, but Portia swatted it out of his reach.  “We aren’t going anywhere without you!” Portia grabbed his arm and started trying to pull him out of the booth. “You’re my brother, I’m already tangled in your mess. Do-” her voice finally broke. “Do you have some kind of death wish, Ilya?!” 

“Pasha, oh, oh no. Don’t cry, don’t-” “I’ll cry if I want to! This is your fault, you know!” She wiped angrily at her eyes and turned away, her lower lip trembling. “Y-you’d better hold me back, Rosie. B-before I hurt him!” Rosie wrapped an arm around the shorter woman and pulled her close, rubbing her shoulder. “Pasha, oh Pasha, I’m sorry, I-” “Julian,” Rosie’s voice was measured when she finally spoke. “Do you remember what you promised me?” 

“I…I’m sorry. I’ve caused so much trouble for both of you. Wherever I go, misery follows.” 

“Would you stop with the dramatics for once?" Portia wiped her eyes again. "We already-"  "It's not dramatics if it's true."  "But that doesn’t mean you can just give up! Y-you'll be killed, Ilya!"  “Maybe I deserve to be,” he shook his head and swallowed hard, slumping back into his seat. “Barth? Barth!” he all but wailed. “I need another stein over here, please. Make it another Salty Bitters.” “No, I think you’ve had enough,” Rosie said. “Will you come with us or would you like the three of us to sit here all day cryin’ into our drinks like miserable drunkards?” 

“...It’s not the worst idea. The beer is especially good today.” 

“Or, we could figure out the truth behind what happened. Put this all to rest.” 

“Or, third, we get Ilya out of town ASAP.” 

“I can’t just run away, Pasha. I tried that before, didn’t turn out so well. It’s time to face the music.” “Oh, for God’s sake,” Rosie pinched the bridge of her nose. “If you won’t get off your ass I suppose I’ll just have to carry you." Julian didn’t have time to react before Rosie had pulled him out of the booth and slung him over her shoulders.

“R-Rosie, put me down!” 

“Quiet. Portia?” 

"Right, so as I was gonna say. If you didn’t kill the Count, someone else must have, right?” Portia said. “Well I...I didn’t actually think about that. Either I did, or there’s another killer on the loose. Which is…bad, obviously. Bad if there’s another murderer out there who isn’t me.” He started to gag, and Rosie quickly set him on his feet before his previous drinks could make an encore appearance. “Though let’s uh,” he cleared his throat. Rosie pressed her palm against his back to steady him. “Let’s be honest here. All signs point to me as the culprit.” 

“We still don’t know that, Ilya. Shouldn’t we find out for sure? For all we know you could be being framed for some political assassination that had nothing to do with you." “I suppose you make a good point...But I, and I truly hate to admit this, if it wasn't already made clear how badly I wish you two weren't getting involved-" "Too late. We already are," Rosie said as she squeezed his arm.   "Yes you've made that very clear, dear. But I...I really can't do this on my own."  “You dunnae have to,” Rosie's hand slid down to grasp his. “We’ll figure this out. Together.”  “So if you won’t leave the city yet, where do we go? What do we do?” 

‘We need a solid plan,’ Rosie thought. ‘We can’t just keep running around willy-nilly. Julian’s life is on the line. If he could just remember...' “We have to start at the scene of the crime. It might jog your memory enough to figure things out from there.” 

“That won’t be a problem for you and I, Rosie. But how will we get him into the Palace? If…if someone sees him, it’s all over,” Portia said.  Rosie grinned, her teeth glinting in the low light. “Magic.” 

“What? Do you mean I’d become another person?” 

“No, you’ll just look like one. Think of it as a stage trick.”

“That’s all well and good, but who ?” 

 Rosie and Portia exchanged a look. They both knew there was only one person that would make sense to be accompanying them to the Palace.

‘ Knowing they’ve got a history… ’ Rosie grimaced. ‘ Maybe we just don’t tell him .’ “You’ll still be just as handsome, don’t worry,” she said, waving off the question. “Let's go into the alley. There’s too much residual energy in here for me to properly cast.” She led the way out of the tavern, Portia followed, supporting Julian against her shoulder despite his protests that he needed no help staying upright.  “Now, illusions aren’t much my specialty,” Rosie said as the three ducked into a secluded corner. “So if you feel any kind of tingling, itching, or burning sensations, please speak up.” 

“What uh, what does it mean if that happens?” Rosie shrugged as she rolled up her sleeves and scooped up a handful of dirt. “Dunno. Could mean you’ll turn into a newt. But you’d probably get better.” Julian leaned against the wall, looking very pale.  The dirt shimmered in the air as she blew it. It settled finely on his skin, visibly rippling with magic. Illusions were different from true transformation, always faster and always neater. As soon as the dust had settled, Julian was no longer standing in the alley with them. “Oh, who’s that?” Portia asked. “He’s handsome!” 

“What? What do I look like?” He scrambled to a nearby puddle and dropped to his knees, staring down at his reflection. “Oh my God,” Julian, now wearing Asra’s face, shook his head. “I’m definitely too drunk for this.” 

[wiltingdecay]

the catalyst for julian realising that he's down horrendously bad for rowan is when he notices that they drooled all over his pillow in their sleep and his immediate reaction is "aww he's so cute 🥰"

[swordbisexual]

Crafted some fucking delightful masterwork armor for the girl.

[love-and-hisses]

Ouiser's all "Barkeep, keep 'em coming, and don't be stingy with the green beans!" 😺

[starfxkrinc]

i never talk about naming patterns when it comes to the girls but ima do that. im not gonna get into the etymology bc thats kinda boring but more into why and how they would be named the way they are.

kiara is a very like. early 00s black girl name. i have a cousin named that (pronounced diff but its the same name) and like yeah. her parents would absolutely name her that esp because they're the youngest of all the pogue parents. she's born like 2001-2002 as well and while the name peaked in 199 it was still fairly popular with black people. the only girl i'll talk avout syllables with bc the others we dont have enough info. but mike (1 syllable) and anna (2 syllables) having kiara/kie (1-3) makes sense when you put all their names together. its common for people to name their daughters names with 2-3 syllables for some reason and very rarely does the name become more complicated than the parent. you see mike, anna and kiara together on paper and it makes sense.

sarah's simpler because that will always be a popular name. and it's a name that doesn't ever feel or sound old because of how popular it is. was prob named after a relative.

wheezie is similar in that she was likely named after a relative (p sure her bame is louisa) and that relative also likely went by wheezie or ouiser (think steel magnolias. also set in the south but this time its louisiana).

ruthie's name made me giggle bc like. its about time a ruth/ruthie showed up. southern white ppl (esp rich ones) keep names in the family forever like up above and its quite common to see young girls with "old" names. with wheezie and ruthie their names will never quite be at the top of a name list but it's about legacy not popularity.

cleo is interesting because if i had a nickle for every time a character from an island/ "island continent" (colloq) id have two nickles. but its strange that it happened twice but no seriously cleo is a very odd name in that it's simple, but there's something about it that sounds and feels exotic. people from islands do tend to have these lilting, sing-songy names (if you knew how many island ursulas i do...) and cleo is one of them. its like they take their accent into account when naming people.

[rowanisawriter]

fic writer appreciation day recs!

happy fic writer appreciation day, everyone ♥️ i’m going to limit myself to 3 writers in 3 of my main fandoms and their gorgeous fics i would like to rant about in this post otherwise it would be 40 pages long

✨@yourworsttotebag - goldenhearts on ao3

if you want to read very fun and well written AUs, this rec is for you. their latest, reality check, is a REALITY SHOW BG3 AU and it’s just as fun as you would expect, also delivering sweet, unexpected moments of quiet sincerity. i also have a soft spot for their modern AU Wherever You Go, which is a long conversation that takes place entirely on an airplane

✨@baejax-the-great - Baejax on ao3

author of my current fave patrochilles fic, Broken Oaths, no joke i RUN to read updates to this gorgeous AU, it’s funny, it’s haunting, it’s a blast, it’s taking familiar characters and giving them a fresh new perspective

✨@swordbisexual - ouiser_boudreaux on ao3

it has been so much fun watching ouiser’s descent into madness playing dragon age for the first time and it’s resulted in so much good fic omg, i’m particularly crazy about the hawke/anders mess that is developing over one shots like Running Through Their Skin and When the Night Comes

[feralgoblinqueen]

Price: You know you would be a much more content and pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time.

Ghost: I am pleasant. Damn it! I just saw Soap eating in the mess this morning and I smiled at the son of a bitch before I could help myself.

-_-_-_-_-

A/N: watched Steel Magnolias the other day and it made me giggle to think about Ouiser’s situation this way.

[itsmyfriendisaac]

Steel Magnolias: in the late 1980's, a group of women from Chinquapin Parrish, Louisiana are bonded together through the trials of life. M'Lynn, Truvy, Clairee, Annelle, Ouiser, & Shelby share the perfect onscreen dynamic in this incredible dramedy!

[two-of-them-tournament]

Two of Them Tournament

[wiltingdecay]

horrible thought: rowan falls asleep with their head on julian's bare chest, gets their eyebrow piercing stuck in his chest hair, cue violent screeching from them followed by a flurry of apologies from him when a half-asleep julian tries to roll over