#or that q would handle it and that they were making it public for no reason or some shit

[97kuu]

ONLY ON CAMERA

Part 2 ( soon )

summary; Jungkook and you keep your sexual relationship a secret—until his friends from the 97 line start betting on who can win you over first. Feeling jealous, he pulls you into a private room at the next awards show, claiming you as his. As he sends a video to the group chat, he makes it clear that you belong to him.

Au; fwb! Secrete rleationship au! ! Jungkookidolau! Readerpopularidolau!

wc 2k

warnings; slight plot, fwb, creamp^e, Riding, dirtyt^lk, descriptive s^x, mi^^ionary, lotus, recording, dub-con, time skips, a bet is placed, public S^x, rushed s^x, facial, q^ickie, clothed s^x, mentions of sweat. Slight manipulation on Jks part,

Edited

In the lotus position on the bed, Jungkook leans forward, drawing you even closer as he wraps his arms securely around your waist. Your chest is at the perfect level, allowing him to lower his head slightly and take a nipple into his mouth. His lips move with a mix of tenderness and intensity, eyes occasionally flicking up to meet yours, watching as you ride his cock in utter pleasure.

Your hands find their place on his shoulders, head falling slowly back as he grips your waist and you moan in ecstasy. Jungkook had what was no doubt the best cock you've had being in this industry and therefore had no difficulty changing plans and meeting at night at his or a random rental car for the hour. He was girthy, he had a good length that wasn't small nor too long. He curved slightly so that when you moved onto your knees and pushed him slightly back to lay down, you could ride him and he would automatically tease your G-spot with ease.

Crossing his arms behind his head, he watched as placed your hands on his chest. Applying pressure as you rocked your hips back and forth creating short waves of movement against him.Biting softly on his pierced bottom lip, Jungkook’s dark eyes locked with yours, a hint of mischief in his gaze. Slowly, he lowered his hands from behind his head, bringing them to rest on your hips. His fingers gripped you firmly yet tenderly, guiding your movements with practiced ease. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver up your spine as he leaned in slightly, his breath mixing with yours.

“You have no idea how amazing you look right now,” he breathes out, voice laced with desire. Listening to those words and that deep groan of his as your hips crashed down, followed by the arch of your back was utterly heaven to him.

“I could watch you like this forever,” he groans, barely holding back. His words sent a rush through you, making your body respond instinctively as you quickened your pace, completely overtaken by his voice. “That’s it, keep going—you’re taking me so well,” he encouraged his tone deep and approving, fueling your movements even more.

His grip tightness, he holds helps grind down on him harder as his precum spews inside of you without knowing. He sat up abruptly, tilting his head back in pleasure as you wrapped your arms tightly around his back. The light sensation of your touch sent him over the edge, and he released himself with deep, resonant groans, eyes squeezed shut as the feeling consumed him.

“Mmm, make yourself come on me, baby. I want to feel you using it as lube,” he instructed, panting as he moved to wrap his arms around your back, guiding your movements on his still-hardened length.

One thing you always noticed was that despite his high-trained stamina allowing him to go for endless rounds when he was on top, the moment you took control, it was as if his body couldn’t handle the intensity of the pleasure. It made him release quickly yet remain at his peak, ready for more. When you asked him why, he’d simply say, “That’s how attracted I am to you. You make me want to go for round after round.”

He lusted deeply after you, both when you were with him and when he could release the pent-up sexual frustration you sparked. It was the result of teasing voice messages where you’d moan his name and beg him to make you feel good. Even when alone, he found himself watching fan-made videos of your chest moving or replaying secret moments from nights spent in public places where you tried to stay silent as he thrust into you.

You were the idol that many men craved, even some of his friends, which made him both possessive and proud. The mutual desire between you quickly escalated from casual encounters to a full-fledged friends-with-benefits situation. It was a fitting label, though it never extended beyond the walls of the rooms or buildings where you met. The secrecy only heightened the thrill, making every moment that much more intoxicating.

Riding him in his apartment felt even more thrilling knowing that there were people who could potentially see or hear the sounds of his moans and the way your body surrendered to the pleasure he gave you.

The thought of being risky, even in the most mundane places, made you drip down his length, coating him as your core burned with the need for release. Your brows knitted together, eyes glazing over with pleasure as you bounced harder, driven by the rhythm of your racing heartbeat.

You couldn’t stop, couldn’t keep your gaze on him, and he loved that—wanted it, craved to see you unravel under his dark, intense stare. It was the same lowered gaze he had when he was serious or angry, and it always drove you to the edge, pushing you into a blissful orgasm. Your body moved on its own, continuing until it was completely satisfied with him buried deep inside, lost in a zone of euphoria.

As the rhythmic convulsions of your core squeezed and released around him, Jungkook groaned and hissed from the mix of pleasure and a touch of pain as you tightened around him. Watching you come undone on top of him, hips moving in slow, languid circles, drove him wild. His hands found your nipples, rubbing them in circles, knowing it would send waves of pleasure shooting down your body as he watched you consumed in ecstasy.

“Keep it up, baby. Your body feels too good, and I’m gonna use you how I want, making you cum until you can’t take it anymore,” he grunted, gripping your back and shifting you beneath him as he moved into missionary.

With your legs wrapped around his waist, he let out a growl of frustration and desire before you spread your legs wider for him, fully exposed and ready. He thrusts into you with an urgent need, pounding into you while you are still in the throes of that blissed-out, high state. The feeling was overwhelming, intense, like a rush that made the world spin, but it wasn’t anything other than him—just Jungkook, taking you deeper into that intoxicating pleasure.

As he thrusts, his voice low and steady says “That’s it, just like that… you’re so good for me.”The thrusts were deep but slow, each movement deliberate and controlled. He pushed inside with a steady force, every inch filling you, but it was the rhythm that drove the sensation. He’d pull back, almost completely, only to slide back in, slow and full, making sure each thrust hit the deepest part of you. The pace was measured, heavy, and purposeful, allowing the intense sensation to build gradually. His body moved with almost agonizing slowness, savoring each moment before he filled your cunt with warm oozing cum.

Pulling out, he placed a kiss on your chest and reached for the rag he placed prior to the bed to clean you up a bit, before helping escort you to take a shower with him. After all, you both were still close and were still a gentleman at heart.

A week later, jungkook was Jungkook sat at the bar, his hand wrapped around a cold bottle of Kloud, the rich, dark beer perfectly complementing the night’s relaxed yet lively atmosphere. He and some of his friends decided to get drinks in the middle of the night a few days before award season would begin in less than a few days.

Slightly stressed, but enjoying the night with a few people at a table he admitted the amber hue of the liquid glistening under the soft overhead lights as he tipped the bottle back, taking a long, deliberate sip. The slightly bitter, malty flavor settled on his tongue as he leaned casually against the counter, his eyes flicking between the conversations of his friends beside him.

The faint hum of music and low chatter filled the space, but he remained calm and composed, occasionally smirking at a joke or nodding in agreement. The way he held the beer, with confidence and ease, mirrored his grounded energy, even as the night buzzed around them.

“maybe somewhere towards the back” a familar voice, came closer.

Jungkook was mid-conversation, his voice steady and composed, when he suddenly heard it—the distinct tone of your voice cutting through the ambient noise of the bar. It was unmistakable, a sound that made his chest tighten and his face heat up. His reaction was immediate, a subtle flush creeping up his neck, but thankfully, the lively chatter around him gave him the perfect excuse to play it off.

He tilted his head slightly, pretending to adjust his seat, but his ears stayed tuned to you. And then it happened—your eyes locked with his. In that split second, it was like the world around him dulled, the electricity of your gaze grounding him and making his pulse race. His breath hitched, and he quickly glanced away, masking the flush creeping up his neck with a casual smirk and a deliberate sip of his beer. His grip on the bottle, however, betrayed him, tightening as if anchoring himself.

Leaning back in his chair, he took another measured sip, forcing his expression to remain neutral. His heart thudded against his ribs, but he played it off effortlessly, as though he hadn’t just felt the room tilt. To anyone watching, he seemed completely composed, but inside, the tension lingered—your presence pulling at him, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. After all nobody, not even the clolsesf of people here knew you hooked up once in a while or frequintly and he wanted to keep it that way. He wanted to keep it a secrete.

Playing it off he Tilted his drink slightly in your direction, Jungkook made a subtle point point with the bottom of his beer mug toward your table. “There,” he said under his breath, low enough that only his closest friend could catch it. It was an understated motion, almost unnoticeable, but the seriousness in his tone had his friends following his lead, their glances fleeting compared to the way his lingered. Still, Jungkook turned back quickly, focusing on his beer as if the moment hadn’t unraveled him entirely.

“Isn’t that good timing, don’t you think? Maybe she sensed good-looking guys were here and dragged a few friends along,” one of the 97-liners said, his eyes lazily trailing over your figure. “She’s got that type of body that makes you stop and stare—dangerous curves.”

“Maybe,” Jungkook replied, his tone cool but clipped as he sipped his beer. He didn’t even look their way, trying to keep his reaction locked down. “Then again, didn’t we only come here because someone said it was safer than most places?”

“You’re telling me you didn’t notice those legs when she walked in?” another chimed in, leaning forward with a wolfish grin. His eyes lingered shamelessly on your body, tracing every curve as if undressing you with his gaze. “She’s putting on a show with those hips, man. I swear, the way that dress clings to her? It’s like she wants us to imagine what’s underneath. Bet it’s a fucking masterpiece.”

He leaned back, biting his lip as his gaze dipped lower, voice thick with hunger. “Everything about her screams trouble—the good kind. Those thighs, that ass… fuck, I’d let her ruin me and thank her for it.”

Jungkook’s grip on his glass tightened, his knuckles whitening as he kept his face carefully neutral. “You could try,” he said smoothly, setting his drink down with a subtle but audible thud, “but do you even know how many confessions she’s probably gotten? Are we even talking about the same girl here?”

“Well then,” the first guy interjected with a sly smile, “how about we make it a challenge? Bet and put respect on the man’s name who can get her in bed first. Before the end of the next award show. I’ll put 3 mil on it.” His smirk widened as he added, “She looks like the type to put up a fight, but I wouldn’t mind breaking her in.”

The crude remark made Jungkook’s jaw clench. He leaned back in his chair, masking his rising anger. “20 mil,” he said flatly, his voice a low challenge that silenced the table. His eyes flicked to the speaker, daring him to take it further.

“Oh, 20 mil?” one of them scoffed, leaning back with an amused look. “You sure you’re not overestimating yourself here, man? She doesn’t seem like the type to just give it up so easily.”

He glanced over at you again, eyes lingering on the way your dress barely clung to your body, a sly smirk tugging at his lips. “But I get it… she’s got that innocent look, like she’s just waiting to be taken. You know, the kind of girl who might act all shy at first, but when she’s alone with you? She’s a fucking firestorm.”

He leaned in closer, voice dropping lower. “She’s probably the type who’ll beg for it—wanting you to take control, needing it like air. She wouldn’t last long, though. I bet once you’ve got her where you want her, she’ll ride you till she can’t move, totally at your mercy, just how you like it.”

He chuckled, watching Jungkook carefully. “But hey, I could be wrong… maybe you can’t pull that off. In which case, I’ll be happy to take my winnings and her home myself.”

Jungkook’s lips twitched into a faint, humorless smirk, but inside, his blood was boiling. The idea of them imagining your body, let alone thinking they had a chance with you, made his possessiveness surge. They didn’t know the things he did—how your body reacted to his touch, the sounds you made when he pushed you past your limits, the way you looked at him when you fell apart.

But he didn’t speak, just took another long sip of his drink, letting their words wash over him as he planned his exit. Their laughter rang in his ears, but his thoughts were consumed by one simple truth: They can talk all they want, but she’s already mine.

M.list. This was a requested plot

[day-mark]

the fact that the q stans have gone awfully quiet and are no longer flooding the replies and qrts with complete nonsense really says something

[often-daydreaming]

Kind of a joke prompt.

I've read countless prompts and fics talking about how the Anti-Ecto Acts affect Danny, Dani, Dan, the heroes, etc, but what if it was just a random bunch of people coming up with a work around in order to finally get rid of a lot the supervillains that were protected by the law.

Like Ben (I don't know why I came up with Ben for this) and a couple of his friends start talking about how certain supervillains can get away with just about anything only to get a few months in prison when one of them brings up the Fentons who are one step away from being mad scientists. Anybody who ever went to school with them is bound to bring them up at least once but they get brought up and eventually everyone ends up joking about how many heroes have 'come back from the dead' since the everyday civilian would probably think they were on a vacation or doing some sort of undercover work whenever they aren't seen out in public for a while. Ben adds on to the idea by bringing up how many supervillains have come back from the dead and it kind of snowballs from there until it finally gets to the dumbest idea any of them have ever had.

How would you kill a ghost, zombie, whatever?

What would someone like the Joker even be considered since he's apparently died on a number of different occasions and is somehow so insane nobody can give him the death penalty. Wait... What was that about the Fentons... Their research... Huh??? Let me see that for a second... That could work... It could actually work. We just have to word it the right way, maybe make up a couple of things to make it sound scary but it could work.

It doesn't even have to be about the Joker. With the number of enemies Luthor has you can't tell me there isn't at least one rich person willing to jump on the chance of legally having a way to get rid of him for good. Cause he's faked his death before, been dying only to transfer his consciousness into a clone body and probably pulled off even more crazy things I don't know about and this insane idea might be just the thing they'd need to finally get rid of him since he'd no longer have any rights if the Anti-Ecto Acts pass.

But then they start hearing about a supposed ghost kid and what's this about a hunter in a mech suit and a biker with a sentient shadow. Obviously he's just a meta. The mech suit guy simply had way too much time on his hands and the biker has to be magic. Just look at the baby hero and his rogue gallery roughing each other up but the Fentons are screaming about ghosts again, they're even on the local news now so we have to double down on everything if we want this to work. Quick, grab a couple of guys and go act like Team Rocket until we've handled things over here. You're O, that's Q. He can be Z if he wants. I don't really care who does what just shove the alien squid whatever back into the portal before a Green Lantern shows up complaining about some sort of space law we've probably broke then go around telling everyone you destroyed it or something. They can't prove we didn't.

Remember, we're supposed to be the 'bad guys' people.

[acapelladitty]

all wrapped up

Pairing: Edward Nygma/Jonathan Crane

Summary: With Edward fully and willingly restrained by a straightjacket, Jonathan takes advantage to give him what he needs.

Fic Masterlist ☆ Link To AO3

Edward’s last plot to outwit Batman had been a disaster.

Not only had he failed in his plans, but the public nature of their eventual confrontation had resulted in Edward’s defeat being broadcast across Gotham with many openly discussing how embarrassing such an event would be for the one getting their ass beat. Even though he had successfully escaped to lick his wounds and try again, the fallout of Edward's failure was undeniable.

Humiliation, disappointment, fury; all emotions which were the pre-cursor to Edward spiralling deep into an emotional blackhole which would often result in a severe depressive episode.

At times, Jonathan felt more aware of Edward’s needs that the other man would ever suspect and, in moments like this where Edward’s most self-destructive tendencies were at their peak, what he needed was a release and Jonathan was always more than happy to provide as he kept stock of Edward’s more dangerous psychological quirks.

The straitjacket which crossed his arms and held Edwards hands tight against his chest allowed him absolutely no protection from Jonathan’s punishments. While Jonathan mourned the opportunity to inflict some damage on Edward’s sensitive chest, the way in which Edward desperately tried to roll away from his punishments – only to be playfully pushed back into position with his back against the floor – was delightfully humiliating as Jonathan insisted on using his foot to do the rolling.

The thick plug which filled his ass and pressed cruelly against his prostate had almost been Edward’s undoing. Even with the use of Jonathan's fingers, each added digit making Edward grunt and howl as he had found himself opened up mercilessly, the girth of the plug has still taken a considerable amount of lube and rough persuasion to be swallowed up by Edward’s twitching hole.

“Edward,” Jonathan called out softly, his voice a snare as it attempted to loop around Edward’s consciousness, “are you listening to me, boy?”

At the lack of response, Jonathan bent down at the waist and drew his hand across Edward’s cheek, admiring the way that colour immediately rose in the struck skin as it flushed a delicious pink. For a man who prided himself on being an enigma, he was a truly simple creature where base pleasures and sensations were concerned and his body betrayed him at every turn.

“Jonathan.” Edward replied quietly, the shock of the strike bringing him back a little more into himself as he floated in the bliss of subspace – the painted welts which decorated his ass and upper thighs a constant source of heat and discomfort as they rubbed against the rough carpet with every pathetic writhe of his body.

“Will you take more? Let me use and abuse you until you're screaming for mercy? Will you do that for me?”

“Y-Yes.” Stuttering, Edward’s expression was slack and open – the pain of his earlier punishments having long pushed him deep into an almost hypnotic lull which Jonathan was monitoring with careful eyes. “Do what you want wit-with me.”

“You couldn’t handle what I want to do with you.” Jonathan muttered, rolling his eyes to the ceiling despite the way his cock twitched at the earnest submission.

Moving past the temptation, Jonathan brought his hand down sharply and Edward yelped in shock as his cock took the brunt of the slap. His body visibly jerked as his knees attempted to come up and protect his groin but they were easily knocked back into place by Jonathan’s foot as he once again bent to slap at Edward’s cock with an almost playful casualness.

Ensuring that the tips of his fingers caught on Edward’s straining length with every hit, Jonthan built up a casual rhythm, each slap randomly paced to ensure that it caught him by surprise, and the noises which escaped Edward’s throat were deliciously raw as his cock quickly reddened and, somehow, even stiffer under the relentless attention.

Stopping only to roll Edward over with no effort whatsoever, Jonathan wrapped his fingers around the base of the plug and tugged on it roughly, pulling it free until the widest part stretched the rim of Edward’s ass painfully – the sensations making Edward’s legs kick out as he groaned into the carpet – before shoving it back in with a sharp, hard push.

Pleased with the audible response - a choked cry which skirted the questionable lines between pleasure and pain - the predatory delight which always made Jonathan’s cock twitch as he soaked in Edward’s willing submission guided his words as he settled in to expand their session until Edward’s release was as complete as he could handle.

“That said, let’s see how far we can push you this time, boy. There's depths to your pathetic depravities that we have yet to fully explore."

[imreallyonthishellsite]

facts abt my post canon bsd au (mostly atsushi and ada centric)

◇ takes place 4 years after everything with the DoA and Hunting Dogs is settled

◇ atsushi grows his hair back out so it's a little past his shoulders

◇ sigma joins the ADA

◇ fukuzawa retires but still comes around to check on his kids former employees and is on standby in case of any future disaster

◇ kunikida and ranpo agree to co-lead the agency. kunikida takes care of most of the paperwork and employee affairs (pour one out for kida) while ranpo keeps an eye out for cases that could be DoA level threat

◇ everybody gets therapy 🥳🎉!! that government hush money compensation check for being attacked by the Hunting Dogs was partially spent on a getting therapists who could actually help them with their issues (pour another one out for the therapists bc the shit they have to deal with...)

◇ genderfluid atsushi (he/she/they), agender dazai (he/him or it/its), nonbinary sigma (they/he)

◇ kunichuuzai canon. dazai and kunikida got together first, then kunikida and chuuya and finally after many schemes dazai and chuuya talked abt their feelings for each other and got together shortly after

◇ atsushi joins a local community college because she realized she can do stuff for herself outside of working. he's studying literature

◇ kyoka and kenji tried to go regular school for a short while before they realized that that they hated it, so kunikida toutered them helped them get a GED (public school couldn't handle them anyway)

(Idt its that bad but just in case) tw: implied w33d usage, implied paranoia, implied hallucinations.

◇ reason why atsushi was finally sent to therapy was bc they were convinced to get high to help their anxiety (one guess who convinced them) and had a bad trip. they got extremely paranoid, mentioned times he would hallucinate and had several concerning statements about himself. when he sobered up the agency said they were going and she only agreed to go if dazai went and surprisingly dazai agreed to go.(dazai planned to go one session and was somehow conned by his therapist to continue going)

◇ found family dazai, atsushi, Kyoka

◇ but also blood family bc wow dazai and atsushi are half siblings!! (Their dad was a hoe, I'll get into in a separate post)

◇ atsushi's orphanage gets shut down (ada birthday gift for atsushi) and gets a documentary made due to the horrific treatment of the children there

◇ sparring buddies chuuya and atsushi

◇ kyoka, kenji, aya and q friendship

◇ after being turned into a vampire akutagawa has sharper canines than the average human and while his lungs are slightly better he carries any inhaler with him just in case

◇ atsushi has more control over his ability in the future and can now shift into his full tiger form on command and communicate with byakko

◇ dazai is also working to control his ability more and can now shut it off for a few minutes before it kicks back on

◇ byakko is a sentient ability similar to arahbaki. she has been around for centuries and has had many different hosts, one who was the author of The Book.

◇ how did they defeat fyodor? Uhhhh he got eaten by rats, turned into one, the tiger ate him and bc of ability bs he stayed dead next question

◇ dazai also has slightly long hair and now uses a cane

◇ tanazaki sibs finally work on their codependency issues

◇ yosano and tachihara go to lunch every few weeks to talk abt shunzen and bond

◇ akuatsulucy canon

◇ sigma and ranpo bet on random shit together and ranpo is surprised at how talented sigma is at betting

◇ ranpoe are long distance relationship atm but poe is making arrangements to move to yokohama

◇ mori steps down as head of mafia for...reasons and kouyou swifty takes charge of the pm (it was supposed to be chuuya but he threatened to leave the whole city and dazai agreed to help sooo kouyou)

◇ atsushi and lucy take edibles

◇ atsushi and yosano both hate being called angel. If you do it it's the fastest way to lose an arm

☆

ive got nothing else to add to this atm so I might make second part one day. this was made before the recent chapters and wildly ignores canon and is built off of most of my headcanons. Bye 👋🏽 👋🏽

[lunarisverysilly]

Acht/Dedf1sh X GN!Reader Fluff Alphabet

Pretty green octopus... Also i used they/them pronouns because the octopus IS nonbinary :3

A - Affection(How Do They Show Affection/Love Language?)

They show their love through quality time and words of affirmations. They love being near you. You both could be doing completely different things in the same room and they would be content. They also love complimenting you and telling you how much you mean to them. They prefer to be shown affection through words of affirmations and acts of service. They love hearing you praise them. They also like when you do things for them, making breakfast, doing their laundry, running a bath for them after a long day. little things like that just make them melt.

B - Beautiful(What Do They Find The Most Beautiful About Their S/O?)

They would admire your intelligence and your strength if your physically strong.

C - Comfort(How Do They Comfort Their S/O?)

Their not that good at comforting with words but they can listen and give advice.

D - Domestic(Do They Like Housework And Being At Home?)

Their fine doing housework. its not something they particularly like or dislike.

E - End(How They End Things With Their S/O?)

They would be quick to end things if they realized it wasnt working out or someone was losing feelings. They would be pretty upset to end things but ultimately know its for the best.

F - Family(Do They Wanna Start A Family With Their S/O?)

They arent big on kids. If you wanted to raise a child with them then they wouldnt mind(and they would also be a pretty good parent) but they would prefer a pet or something easier to take care of.

G - Goofy(How Serious Are They In A Relationship?)

Their pretty chill and laidback with their partner and just in general. They can be serious at times but thats rare.

H - Healthy(How Healthy Is A Relationship With Them?)

Very healthy. Its rare you even have arguments with them. and when you do its small and resolved quickly.

I - Insecurites(What Are They Insecure About In A Relationship?)

I dont think they would have any big insecurites. Like i said, the relationship is really healthy.

J - Jealousy(Do They Get Jealous Easily?)

Not really. They wont get jealous of friends unless its clear that the friend likes you. They also might get upset if someone flirts with you but they know you would never reciprocate.

K - Kisses(Their First Kiss, How They Kiss, How Much They Kiss Their S/O, Anything Kiss Related.)

They love kisses. They adore kissing you everywhere but their favorite place is your forehead. Your first kiss was right after you both confirmed you were dating. They simply couldnt wait any longer to kiss you. Their kisses are soft but passionate. They dont ever wanna stop kissing you!

L - Love(Who Says I Love You First?)

Them. Acht is a very blunt person. If their falling in love with you, they will be quick to say it.

M - Melt(What Does Their S/O Do That Makes Them Melt?)

Being told you love them. They loveee being told how much you love them.

N - Nicknames(Their Nicknames For Their S/O?)

Usually just says your name. They only use pet names when they feel affectionate.

O - Obstacles(How To They React To Obstacles In Your Relationship?)

Their good at handling problems. They will try their best to work through it with you.

P - PDA(Are They Public About Your Love?)

They make it clear your dating, but dont like showing that much affection in public.

Q - Quality Time(How Much Time Do They Spend With Their S/O?)

Like i said, quality time is their main love language. They adore you and want to spend all their freetime with you.

R - Ring(Do They Want To Put A Ring On It?)

After a couple years, maybe. Its not really something they think about until you both talk about it. They wont hesitate to propose if they know you wanna get married.

S - Soft(How Soft And Sweet Are They?)

Their pretty sweet to their partner. They give lots of love.

T - Trust(How Important Is Trust In Your Relationship. How Much Trust Is There?)

They need to trust you a lot to even wanna be your friend. They trust you with everything and that trust is mutual.

U - Upset(What Upsets Them In A Relationship?)

Dishonesty. They want you to know you can tell them anything. Lying to them makes them feel like you dont trust them anymore.

V - Valentine(What Do They Do For Their S/O On Valentines Day?)

They dont do much. They'll get you some gifts and chocolates but not much else. They see valentines day as a pointless holiday tbh.

W - Words(Are They Good At Expressing Themselves Through Words?)

Kinda. Their good at giving compliments and advice but not good at expressing emotions.

X - Xoxo(How Romantic Are They?)

Not the most romantic but they can be sometimes. If you like romantic gestures, they will try and do more for you.

Y - Yawn(How Do They Get When Their Sleepy?)

They get more affectionate than usual. They kiss you a lot normally but now its doubled.

Z - Zwhat The Fuck(I Literally Dont Know Any Words That Start With Z???)

Their favorite fruit is oranges.

P

[diamondcitydarlin]

I understand it's not even the fifth-most important point in your post, but I really think that going forward, making sure all creators (at least those of Gaiman's calibre) have as little direct access to fans as possible should be industry standard. We've all heard the horror stories about Vic whatshisface at cons and whatnot, but even the folks who aren't certified creeps detract more than they add to the fan experience (witness the five-alarm Drama that breaks out whenever creators make the tiniest ship-adjacent commentary in interviews).

Couldn't agree more. The Neil Gaiman allegations are not a new phenomenon by any means; we know from countless prior exposures that predators use fame and fortune to ensnare victims, especially those that have been predisposed from maybe even an early age to revere and idolize them. And like you say, even if someone in such a position of power/influence has no ulterior, sinister motives for reveling directly in their fan base, there are so many other things that can go awry from crossing those boundaries. (Gaiman himself warned of the legal complications that could arise from people sending him fanfic directly- you'd think that'd be reason enough for him to, yknow, not be constantly on tumblr interacting with the fanbase and tags, but ofc we know why now)

I think there's something to be said about the quick rise of the internet/social media and the consequences of that in fandom spaces, that we're kind of having to catch up and learn from difficult experience how best to set those boundaries between fandom and creators. It's easy to think we should have known better already, but Gaiman had been carefully crafting his persona for decades at that point and always seeming like one of the 'good ones' as so many others were exposed throughout the years. I think in fact that probably strengthened the parasocial bonds as people clung even harder to him as the precious exception to the rule.

And yet, still I'm somewhat left at a loss of what the hard and fast rules should be, and if they should be the same across the board or if there's any room for nuance. I know that crafting a social media presence, even a persona can be important for accruing a marketed interest (and just unavoidable in the world we live in now, for people in related careers) and I don't think creators/famous people showing appreciation and recognition of their fanbases has to be an inherently bad thing. I know that people enjoy having Q&A panels with creators and interviews asking divisive questions about pairings/plot decisions etc in a show has been a thing since TV digest- but of course, getting in a friendly debate with your IRL friend over whether the last interview from the head writer of Friends meant Ross would end up with Rachel or not is very different from online discourse with thousands of angry, opinionated strangers, and maybe that needs to be taken into consideration in future- that is, if the creators in question actually care about their fans and aren't stirring the pot on purpose, which could also be the case. Anyway.

What's also true and I think should be taken into consideration going forward is that people of Neil's wealth and level of fame don't really need to be constantly interacting with fans on social media. I feel the smarter, safer route there for everyone involved is to have an assistant or PR person to handle social media accounts and in Gaiman's case specifically I feel that this is the least his team could do in the way of restorative justice/keeping his fans safe. This time, he really shouldn't have any public social media he runs himself. I'm literally imploring his lawyers, people, whomever has the ability if you happen to be reading this, to just cut him the fuck off from now on. I don't think that's asking too much of anyone involved. (They have for the time being ofc, but I'm calling for a lifetime ban). As that relates to other famous people, I would say we need to just bear it in mind. A little healthy suspicion for someone famous that's just trying to 'hang out with the gang' on a routine, intimate basis because, like, why? To what end, exactly?

And maybe we need to also have some discussions about predator behaviors from celebrities/creators during in-person meetups, how to recognize them and what to do on an individual and fandom-wide level if it happens. Like, I don't personally think it's appropriate or advisable for a famous person to proposition a fan (regardless of age or gender identity) romantically/sexually at their first meeting with this person at a fan meetup (it's a fan meetup not speed dating), I don't think they should be giving fans their number or contact info (even if it's purely intended, it's not appropriate or safe for either party). I don't think creators/famous people should be commenting on their fans' appearances at these meetups even if it's 'positive' ('wow you're so beautiful'- though there's nuance here, like if someone's wearing a cosplay and it's only about that etc, it can be nebulous but I think yall know what I'm talking about). I think all of those things should be regarded by fans as possible red flags and I think creators should have enough of a sense of responsibility over the power dynamic to know better than to cross those boundaries. I also think fans should feel safe and supported when coming forward with stories of behavior like this and I think we have to always be prepared to learn and 'accept' things we wish weren't true about famous people we like but don't know (accept as in accept as true and then get to work on what restorative justice can be realistically achieved for the victims).

But yeah, I'm interested in knowing what others think about this. Has this revelation made you view the famous people you like differently? Do you think there are better, further methods that should be taken to put boundaries between creators and fans? What can we as fandom communities do better to keep each other safe going forward? I'd love if it we could discuss these issues further.

[playmiya]

chapter four: +1000 aura for [name] previous ⎯ masterlist ⎯ next

Rain begins pouring, finally, pitter-pattering down onto the windshields of vehicles that form a barrier around the rest of the world and the mall. The scent of soot hangs in the air, and you can finally feel the heat that seemed to surround you at all times die down.

"Fucking finally," sighs the Commissioner, wiping his bifocals with a cloth as he frowns. He's an old man, smile lines and wrinkles dotting his face, and he's been caught completely off-guard today evening.

You've been caught off-guard too, somehow wrangled into this mess and seriously questioning your life decisions. The entire point of being a vigilante was to stay anonymous, work in the shadows and not make a big deal out of whatever you were doing. You weren't blessed with superpowers that guaranteed a future in hero work. You were literally just a student. Now, hoodie and balaclava feel like a thin veil between your identity and the world as you hear the flashes of cameras over sirens.

A policeman had dragged you with him as you were about to make your exit from the scene, satisfied with the way you'd handled the many ruffians who'd emerged from the woodwork to take advantage of the chaos from the fire and ransacking local businesses. Unable to protest, you'd focused your attention on aiding near the mall, content with observing Spider-Man in action from a respectable distance.

This was too close, according to you. The commissioner had summoned both of you to hear your accounts of the fire, suspecting some foul play in the works, and this explains why you're inches away from the hero, who's in familiar, animated conversation with the senior official.

You use this time to observe him for research purposes. Upon closer inspection, he's a lot more built than the pictures do justice to describe him as. His arms are crossed over the vast expanse of his beefy chest, and you don't miss the way his biceps strain against the material of his suit as he continues talking, murmuring something about a past foe. Your eyes drop shamelessly lower, and you can't help but thank the rain for dampening the air, since his suit sticks to his torso, defining abs you're can call nothing short of washboard.

Shut up, you're not here to ogle him!, a voice in your head reminds, and you have to avert your eyes and pretend to be deeply interested in the way firefighters were raising their ladder to the third floor of the mall. You hear someone clear their throat, and snap back to the conversation at hand.

"Spider-Man just pointed out that this seems to be the work of the same criminal who set a warehouse alight last week in Minato, Vigilante," the Commissioner coughs, and you blanche at the name, a testament to how you've officially come on the radar of the administration. Jeez, couldn't you get something cool, like Supreme Leader of Counterviolence or something? Vigilante sounded so... mundane.

"Um, is that so? It could be, now that he mentioned it," you reply. You'd followed that incident live, but you don't want to let on anything about yourself that could possibly give a shred of your identity away; even something as routine as following crime in the city.

"I think it would be best if the two of you worked together on this. Spider-Man, as you know, already covers much of the city, but I'm sure an extra hand wouldn't hurt. We're already spread thin as is, and recovery efforts are going to take some time," he says, tone tired as he massages his temples. If it weren't for how overworked he sounded, you'd be surprised at his presumptuousness to enlist you in crime-fighting measures at the very first meeting.

"Vigilante, we've picked you up on our surveillance many times earlier. I know that working in the public eye is not your forte, but perhaps you can use it to your advantage to find out more about this perp," the Comissioner adds, reading your mind. You almost choke on air.

"That makes sense," you affirm quietly, still processing the implications of what he's said. "Good," the man smiles. "The quicker we solve this, the safer Shinjuku is. We'll be in touch," he says, dismissing you. Now that he's done talking, the flash of cameras become even more enunciated, and you're frozen, unsure of whether turning around will cause more of a scene or making a run for it will.

"First time with the paps?", Spider-Man asks, peering down at you. His stupid mask gives nothing away, but you're sure he notices the way your eyes widen under your balaclava as you nod. "I'm in no mood to deal with them today, either," he sighs. You look at the swarm of people eagerly poised with TV cameras and mics in their hand and squirm.

Pondering for a minute, Spider-Man offers you a gloved hand.

"Wanna get outta here?"

taglist: @diorzs @egoistars @southernfrogprincesd @dazqa @milesmoralesluvs @she-lovesmyheartshapedsunglasses @dailyakira @giocriedpower @punkhazardlaw @loverlunaire @milesmoralesluvs @thiisisntlovely @kuroppiii

[nubsoftherat]

How mentally ill am I in Gotham?

Like. How impulsive can I be when I'm Tim.

Because sometimes I just want to hit people. And as a Wayne that's impractical. As a Robin that's work.

Sometimes I just want to have a public meltdown to demonstrate my frustration. As a Wayne, this is acceptable. As a CEO, this is not.

And also I could 100% most of my fcked behavior in the Manor or to my siblings. And have little to no repercussions. Or at least be capable of handling the consequences.

I could also play mind games with the JL. I could alter mechanics in the cafeteria to make cold coffee and broken stools. I could make the teleporters place you 1 inch to the right of your intended location (eventually funny). I could join the Question and spy on people to prove crack-theories (literally, Q does hard-drugs in my universe).

Idk... If you were in my shoes, how much would you give in to the inappropriate impulses?

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

Character Q&A - AdVenture (parahuman edition!)

We've heard your opinions about running into parahumans, so I was curious how you all think either you or the other AdVenture members would've fared as masks? Maybe who'd go hero and who'd go villain?

Prii: Villain? Grant.

Beth: Grant.

Shauna: Grant.

Grant: Grant.

...what?

-

Prii

Uh, me as a mask? That'd be something. I don't know. I'd like to think I'd try my best? I'm not really an action hero type of person though. I like film-making, not sure I'd be great as the star of the show. Well—obviously right now I am kind of the showhost but, we both know that's different from being a mask. Also I really wouldn't like having to listen to the DPR. Rules and constraints and all that. I've been trying to get away from those since I was a kid.

I think Beth would be a good hero. Like, she'd try to downplay it but her heart's always in the right place. She cares a lot, which is more than you can say for a lot of so-called heroes. They're in it for the celebrity. Beth wouldn't be. Shauna, uh, I don't know if Shauna could handle the stress? She'd mean well but burn out, I think.

[MC] I could go either way. Not that I think they'd be a villain! I just don't always know what's going on in their head. They're great at things they're passionate about so it sort of depends how into it they get.

Grant... Grant would talk a big game that he'd be a bad guy, but I don't think he's got it in him to be worse than like... a nuisance. With the right (wrong?) powers he'd be a total menace, but I mean that in a trolling type of way, not a 'striking fear into the populace' way. Still, when it came down to it, I know he'd do the right thing.

Beth

Prii would... try. They would try to be a hero. They would try to be good. That counts for a lot, I feel. Heroes do not hold an inherent sense of morality and justice. It does not simply come with the mask. If Prii became a hero, I do not doubt they would get over their head, perhaps not make the perfect decisions at all times, but nor would anyone need to steer them along and keep them from walking down a dark path. They would do that for themself.

Grant is just the opposite. Absent anyone to keep him on the straight and narrow, he would dive headlong into petty crime, I'm quite certain. Out and out villainy? I'm not going to say that; if I thought so little of him then I would refuse to spend time with him. He'd certainly make a nuisance of himself.

Shauna would... need to find firmer convictions. I believe she would have the heart to be a hero, but I'm not sure she would be able to stick with it. To make hard decisions, and to handle the scrutiny of the public eye. She is a sweet person. The kind of person the world chews up and spits out. [MC] has the grit to be a mask, but I don't know that they have the motivation. It's hard to be certain what drives them at times.

As for myself... of course I would not resort to harming others for personal gain. Conversely, I'm unsure that the heroing lifestyle would be for me. Power begets responsibility, but I have my own goals in life. The concept of my future being preordained because I obtained powers does not sit well with me.

Shauna

Oh! We'd be the coolest superhero team! We could go from AdVenture as urban explorers to AdVenture: the saviours of the city!

Prii's great and they'd work super hard at heroing if they were a mask. I'd um, I'd worry that they would be too fixed on doing their own thing though. Like the DPR isn't always the best but they'd been doing hero stuff for a real, real long time and that experience has gotta count for something. Beth would be like the scary kind of hero! Yeah sure she's always rolling her eyes and calling the rest of us out for things but that's 'cause she cares. She's way too responsible to sit out of the action if she has powers.

Grant is...

Grant, I think is putting on a show a lot of the time. Like that he's this ultra cool guy and nothing fazes him and that he's wayy too much of a bro to care about stuff like this. But um, he does. He does care. He does stuff that he can dodge credit for or if he's gonna get credit he plays it up in this way where he's kinda, downplaying it by exaggerating it? Like you say thanks and he goes "don't worry about it, you just have to worship the ground I walk on", and then you laugh and you kinda stop thinking about how he went out of his way for you.

Which, well, so what I'm getting at is that I think he'd hero while pretending like he wasn't. Like he'd 'just happen' to be there to stop a robbery. Or find a reason that he 'didn't have a choice' to help out. That kind of thing.

Maybe I'm treating it too much like a story, but... yeah.

And [MC] is a good person. I know they'd be a hero.

For me, um...

I know being a hero isn't easy. And I know that I'm not... I'm not always confident or strong or um... good enough. But I feel like, if you know people are getting hurt and it's in your power to do something about it then you've gotta—I'd have to try, you know?

Grant

Prii would try to be a hero so hard it wouldn't even be funny. They like attention, and attention for doing good things? They'd be there instantly. Dork.

Beth already has a stick up her ass about, I dunno, everything? Which is to say that yeah clearly Beth would be into heroing work as well. Would prolly be really good at it too. She's got that single-minded view on things. If there was a chain of command she'd listen 'cause of course she would. Some people are built for it.

Is [MC] built for it? Dude, I dunno. [MC] is a mystery box, and I dunno what they'd do when the chips were down. They'd do something at least. Not the passive type.

Shauna. Shauna Shauna Shauna.

She'd talk herself into being a hero. Right place, right time, right... mentor, I think she'd do ok. There's steel in our girl, even if she doesn't always show that backbone. But people underestimate her. Shauna's out of her comfort zone 24/7 and she still shows up to everything, still does her best. I heard that matters for heroes.

Me... come on, you think I'm gonna give you the inside scoop? If I get powers someday, I don't want anyone knowing what I'll be doing with them!

[saintmachina]

curious to know your thoughts on writing fanfic while being a professional writer? would you recommend doing so or is that just legal trouble waiting to happen?

Hey anon! What a wonderful Q! Let's get into it, with the caveat that this is just one author's opinion. However, I have worked as an agent, author, and audiobook acquisitions girlie, so I have a bit of perspective!

Listen, fic is every artist's God-given right. We should all be allowed to play in the creative sandbox with the blorbos that capture our hearts and the motifs that haunt our dreams. Many published authors, traditional and indie, still write fic from time to time. I certainly do!

One of my favorite ways to decompress between projects is to write my beloved Rhaenyra/Alicent doomed dragon lesbians fic, or to whip up a one-shot about whatever media I've been consuming lately. Sometimes I'll challenge myself to do a little drabble about whatever book I just finished reading, just to keep myself in conversation with the themes and to try out new styles or POVs. It's fun, it's challenging, it's a social activity, and it makes you a better writer! No lose situation.

The real question here is whether you share your fic handle with the general public. Most authors don't, although some, like the inimitable astolat (AKA Naomi Novik, co-founder of A03!) do. For many of us, we keep our handles private not out of shame, but so we have a place to play and experiment as a lover of fiction and member of a fandom, not as a Professional putting forward additions to their Body of Work. Also, fic is where you are allowed to get weird with it. If I want to write a ~problematic~ ship or explore a strange storyline in fic, I can do that without it reflecting on my oeuvre as a public figure, and that's nice!

Legal trouble comes into play when you read fic about your own published work. I am aware that there is A DOWRY OF BLOOD fanfiction published to A03, which delights me to no end. However, I don't read it because a.) it's not my business and fans deserve a space to play without me reading over their shoulder and b.) if I were to write a sequel with the same characters (nothing planned like that, don't get excited my beloved bats) and I lifted a fic writer's storyline, that would obviously be nasty and bad, and I could get sued. So, as a blanket rule, I don't read fic featuring my characters.

Hopefully that answered your question! Happy to go more in depth but the tl;dr is: fic away! Just be a good internet citizen and resist the urge to read fic about your own characters, if you are ever so fortunate to be in that position.

[pommunist]

(Désolée pour le pavé, j'avais plus de choses à dire que je pensais)

I mean, I understand that the long anon wants to trust Q and the QSMP, because I truly think that we ALL want it to get better.

But I think our vision for "making things right" is just different.

Anon seems mostly focused on the people who are still in the project and how they're changing it for the better (i assume, for future employees) , while we tend to focus on the people who were kicked out and were never contacted again.

Us pointing out that the ex admins have been ghosted for 2 months is not "detail chasing" or "talking about past mistreatment" It's literally ongoing. And it is still mistreatment.

Maybe not everyone sees it that way, I guess. I'm sure some people think they're being impatient, or they don't deserve to be talked to because they're not in the project anymore, or even consider the ex employees newfound "fame" to be at their advantage, somehow. But even so, it doesn't change the fact that none of the whistle-blowers have seen any steps taken to compensate them, or even hear them, for the months of free labor and abuse. At least, as of now.

After all, the only promise Quackity made is that he'll make things right for the people working in Qstudio in the future. So far, he said nothing about the ex employees except vagueposting about "people who want to destroy the project".

We're allowed to be skeptic and even critical about how this is all handled. And we're allowed to express said skepticism online, where we can interact with others about it. Just like anon is allowed to express their support and trust in QStudio.

The problem comes, as usual, from parasocials of all extremes sending hate to everyone involved. And I do agree that this whole thing being public is mostly to blame for that.

I do think it's too bad that it didn't happen privately, but now, it's out, and the silver lining is that it allowed other ex employees to make their mistreatment heard without feeling like they're insane for it. After all, it's been months, and only now do we hear anything. It shows that the mental pressure to "dont talk to any of your colleagues and lay low or else" really stopped people from facing their abuse with the gravity it deserved.

And honestly, seeing how they're handling it rn, I doubt that Qstudio would have taken the right steps if it had been done 100% privately.

Like, maybe we're missing some legal context here, but why did Qstudio not explicitly ask for the ex-employees' testimonies yet? Even now, with a literal union repeatedly advising them to do so, they're not doing it.

They could make a separate email adress, share it privately to all ex employees and let them send their testimonies there. They dont have to acknowledge everything immediately. They dont have to say "we will solve this in one week". But ghosting such a large chunk of the people who made your project work and only allowing them to either completely shut up or go public is... a choice. So yeah, maybe going public was necessary for them to be heard. Idk. I'm just hoping things will get better soon on that front.

Agree with everything here so not much to add except maybe :

Really I think a lot of people are looking at it like : it’s okay things will be better starting now ! While forgetting that everything that happened before still need to be adresses and solved. Not even an opinion, as this can very well be a legal matter and a serious one at that. Can’t just go "oops sorry you guys were mistreated…Anyway we’ll move on without you towards better things" that’s not how it works 😵‍💫

And for the "it should have happened privately" argument I can’t anymore because yes, ideally this is how it would have gone down. But that’s not how it went, let’s move on and more importantly let’s not blame people who talked about it, as they would have been within their right to do so even if it was done with the primary intent to expose everything. Also "it should’ve blablabla" well Qstudios should have gotten their shit together from day one and yet ! What ifs will get us nowhere.

(Et t’inquiète pour le pavé, on a vu pire ici 😭)

[deadpresidents]

Serious Q: Which presidents do you think had the most problems with alcohol while in office? You wrote that Nixon was drunk sometimes at the end of his term before resigning, for example. But who do you think had the most consistent problem with the bottle over their presidency?

The only Presidents who are believed to have been alcoholics are Franklin Pierce and George W. Bush, but in both cases, their alcoholism didn't take place while they were in office. Bush famously stopped drinking when he was 40 years old. Pierce was a heavy drinker as a member of Congress, but seemed to have a handle of things while he was President. But things went off the rails for him after he left office and he basically drank himself to death.

Ulysses S. Grant's drinking was sometimes a problem, but it apparently only flared up when he was lonely and stationed far away from his wife. Being stationed in California and Oregon after the Mexican-American War was really difficult for him and his drinking resulted in him basically having to resign his commission and return to civilian life. He fell off the wagon a handful of times during the Civil War, but it didn't incapacitate him as it had on the West Coast, and he didn't seem to have any issues with alcohol while he was President.

Nixon's drinking was probably the most concerning, but not because it happened constantly. Nixon was a notorious lightweight when it came to drinking, and he would get drunk very easily. The major issue with Nixon is his temperament, combined with intoxication, especially when things were going really badly with Watergate. There were serious worries from people within the Nixon Administration about what Nixon might do or orders he might give while drunk, particularly in the last weeks of his Presidency.

I think the other person worth mentioning is Andrew Johnson. There is some debate about whether or not Andrew Johnson was an alcoholic or even a heavy drinker. He had an infamous incident at his inauguration as Vice President in 1865 when he was apparently not feeling well and decided to have a couple of stiff drinks to get through the inaugural ceremonies. But those drinks were a little too stiff, and he launched into a rambling and insulting speech to Congress after he took the Vice Presidential oath. Johnson is one of the more obscure Presidents, so there's not as much definitive information about his life and career as, say, Ulysses S. Grant. Johnson was also abrasive and widely disliked by his colleagues, so it's know how true the memories of many of his contemporary sources were. But there are many, many examples of Johnson -- both before and during his Presidency -- making speeches where he was abusive and threatening to the audience and when speaking about his many political opponents. I think it's probably likely that alcohol played a part in some of those wild speeches and his behavior in public, but I can't prove it.

Other than that, it seems most of our Presidents who drank -- even those who drank more heavily than others -- had pretty good tolerance for their alcohol and didn't allow it to affect their job performance during their Presidencies. Some of these guys were pretty hardy dudes -- I mean, John Adams started smoking when he was 8 years old and was said to drink hard cider for breakfast and lived until he was 90 years old (in the early 19th century!) -- so most of them could handle their shit.

[herrlindemann]

Max DE, 1998 - Interview with Richard

Thanks to Ramjohn for the scans!

Martial lyrics, videos with Riefenstahl images and flamethrowers on stage. What critics in Europe dismiss as Nazi aesthetics, the Americans think is great - and nominated the pop group for a Grammy.

The British magazines hit it hard. “To hell with the Germans!” headlined Select magazine, and another, Q, fumed at 'the Krauts triumphant'. It is well known that Germany often has to take a hit from the Insel press. But what happens this time? Rammstein, flagship of the Teutonic rock wave, underlaid the Depeche Mode song 'Stripped' with scenes from Leni Riefenstahl's propaganda film 'Olympia' - causing a scandal in England. Dance music guru Goldie demanded:”You should shoot the guy who gave these Nazis a record deal.”

Negative headlines are not new to Rammstein. Because of their macho image, the coquettish game with right poses, Till Lindemann's rrrolling Feldherrn-Rs and a brute-bombastic brutal show, the band is controversial in Germany. Again and again the heavy metallers are pushed close to the right camp. In the MAX interview, guitarist Richard Kruspe, 31, wants to clean it up.

MAX: Rammstein was nominated for a Grammy, the music industry's Oscar. Is that a satisfaction after all the criticism?

Richard: We are happy to be nominated for the biggest music award in the world. A German band with German lyrics has never been nominated for a Grammy. Rammstein can handle criticism well. But when other musicians become unobjective in public, we find that unprofessional and pure provocation.

That's Rammstein's business too.

I don't think Rammstein just provokes.

You really want to say that lyrics like 'bend down, turn your face away from me' or 'rammstein, a person is burning' shouldn't provoke anyone?

I don't hope that we only live from that, but that our music counts. I consider our lyrics to be honest poetry.

Rammstein has repeatedly distanced himself from the right-wing scene. Then why do you play with the suspicion of fascism by using Leni Riefenstahl images in your video 'Stripped'?

I think that image and music merge fantastically in this video. When I saw the pictures for the first time, I didn't even know who they were from. I was only overwhelmed by the visual aesthetics. However, I did not expect these reactions. Since we only unnecessarily poured grist on the mill of our critics, we now believe that this video was a mistake. However, Rammstein is an apolitical band that has never had anything to do with the right-wing scene.

What is Rammstein then?

Rammstein is theater and show with heavy guitar music. We don't need an attitude, because we make entertainment.

Is that why you're so successful in America?

Certainly. People go to concerts there to have fun. A distorted guitar riff is a kind of religion there, the lyrics don't interest in this context because singing and words are felt more as instruments.

That sounds as if Rammstein was invented for America.

We were on the road for six weeks and played to sold-out halls almost every night. Sometimes in front of 16,000 people. There were actually only problems with our pyrotechnics. In America there are fireworks marshals who control everything. In Chicago, for example, we weren't allowed to perform with fireworks. In New Orleans it was then "Good show, no penetration ".

You have to explain that.

Our singer Till wears a dildo during one song, from which he squirts water into the audience. However, one regulation of the American authorities read: "No liquids may be discharged from the abdomen into the audience.” So we could forget about the dildo show.

Does a Rammstein concert work without a fire spectacle?

If people would only come to our concerts for some effects and fireworks, then we would have done something wrong. We've had concerts without effects before. The people stayed anyway.

Do you think your music is innovative?

We have created something unique. Hard guitars with melancholy melodies. Now we were nominated for a Grammy, our music can't be that wrong.

What luck are you still missing?

Almost all members of Rammstein have children, but the mothers are missing. What intelligent woman is waiting for someone who is only at home two months a year and then in a bad mood. Only the 'Girlfriend' model works. But maybe a harmonious life would also be creative death, because suffering and pain are also part of our inspiration.

[literaticat]

Is it better to include an elevator pitch or not in a query? As an example, if the query is three paragraphs plus a bio, should it also have a one sentence elevator pitch at the top - do you recommend that or is it optional/doesn't matter either way? Which is better - elevator pitch, 3 paragraphs describing book, then bio, sign off or 3 paragraphs describing book (or 2 in some cases), bio, sign off, no one sentence pitch at top? I feel an agent might just read the first line then decide?

I have no questions in the inbox, but this was sitting in drafts for like -- a year? Haha. Sorry, original asker! I'm going to put this in the FAQ under Querying, as it's sort of the definitive "this is what you put in a query" answer, I think.

To answer your question: There are a lot of people who have a lot of rules and tips for queries, and here's what they DON'T usually tell you:

It doesn't really matter what order you put the elements of your query in, or three paragraphs vs two, or whatever whatever. Just include all the information we ask for and make it short enough to fit on a page. These are the ONLY two "technical" rules. Other than that - we just want it to be compelling. We want it to make us want to read the book. So make it how you like it! What sounds good to YOU?

Now. What you are calling the "elevator pitch", I'd call a log-line actually. I consider an elevator pitch to be something you are delivering in person - like if somebody asks, "hey what is your book about", your answer is nutshell elevator pitch. A log-line is a little shorter -- just the very top-of-the-treeline description about what we are about to look at.

Personally, if I were writing a query letter, I'd probably go like this:

Salutation: Dear so-and-so,

Short intro paragraph: I'm querying you for A REASON / I met you at A PLACE, etc. I'm delighted to share TITLE, a CATEGORY complete at WORDCOUNT about LOGLINE.

About the Book: 1 to 3 paragraphs. Mine would probably be two paragraphs: ONE paragraph about the book, expanding the log-line, ANOTHER short paragraph to wrap up the first paragraph as necessary.

Bio: Previous publications if applicable, if not just a little something about yourself.

Sign off: With social media handles, etc.

For example:

#1 - Salutation

#2 - Intro

I have such fun listening to your podcast, and when I saw on social media that you are a sloth fan, I figured it was kismet and I should send this your way! SLOTH COPS is a twisty MG whodunit complete at 60,000 words, about two polar opposite sloth police detectives who must team up if they are to have a hope of catching the mysterious tortoise murderer plaguing their city.

#3, flesh that logline out:

Captain of the Sloth Squad Callisto Jenkins is an experienced veteran on the force; she's seen it all in her day, and has the gallows humor to prove it. Officer Stormy McNair is a rookie on the beat, desperate to make his bones as detective and prove to every doubter that so-called "bad sloths" like him CAN solve crimes. A foolish mistake during an investigation causes Callisto to take Stormy's badge and gun away and consign him to desk duty, but the hothead rookie can't stand being benched and figures out a way to get involved with Callisto's last case before retirement -- the case of the Tortoiseville Strangler.

#3.5, close out the pitch part:

The strangler doesn't take kindly to sloth cops on his turf, and Stormy and Callisto soon find themselves embroiled in a case that is much bigger and more sinister than they could have imagined. It will take Callisto's patience and dedication to the hunt combined with Stormy's brazen attitude and quick wit to get them out of the Strangler's lair with their necks intact, and put the shadowy tortoise killer behind bars where he belongs.

#4 Bio :

I'm Fiona Q Whittlestone, and I'm a professional private detective, which sadly, is a lot less exciting day-to-day than movies would have you believe! I live in Palm Springs, CA, with a 100 year old Desert Tortoise named Ambrose who, as far as I know, has never committed a crime. SLOTH COPS is my first novel.

#5: Sign-Off

--

Now - 1 and 5 obviously have to stay where they are. In my opinion, 2/3/4 make the most sense in that order, and that's about the right amount of room for them. But if you wanna do a hooky log-line, then the about, then the nuts-and-bolts -- that's fine! If you'd rather introduce yourself THEN put the description of the book and then the nuts and bolts -- or you need only one paragraph for the book -- or you need three paragraphs for the book but it still fits on one page -- that's fine! We just need all the info, and we need it on one page. That's it.

[visityaratoday]

FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions/ preguntas frecuentes- Page 2

We received so many more questions than we could properly respond to in one sitting, so here we go for part 2. From immigration to some very intimate questions, we respond to them all!

Q: Is it true that everyone in Yara can fix cars?

A: Surely not everyone, but general car repair is a crucial skill to learn early in life when available cars are old and likely to break down. If you do need your car repaired though, please go to a mechanic shop. There are plenty around Yara.

Q: Where can i buy cigars?

A: You can buy cigars at local shops or from stands in public squares and markets. However, it is worth mentioning that many Yarans smoke Mexican tobacco as most of our tobacco fields have been taken over by the Viviro™ industry and may or may not contain a compound used in its production that may or may not cause your eyes to bleed and your brain to fry. Something to keep in mind if you are purchasing a souvenir for uncle Bob.

Q: I want to move to Yara. Any advice?

A: Yes. Stay home. No offense but most foreigners could not handle Yara full time. It’s all fun and games for a few weeks, but you would need to deal with hurricanes, shortages of every kind, the bureaucracy is a nightmare.. we’re not even talking about the housing crisis, the constant economic collapse. Honestly, a lot of Yarans are trying to get the f out of here you wanna come in?! You could always get a non paying job at an Outcast camp if this is truly your dream. They’ll take anybody. You don’t even need to speak Spanish. Otherwise, stay home. You are happy there.

Q: Can you go surfing?

A: Of course! Although jetskis are much more popular and readily available to rent and use.

Q: I want to do a Cruise, but I hate going on boats. What do you recommend?

A: Helicopter tours! - Check it out!

Q: Are there any hospitals? How is the healthcare?

A: We have hospitals and field clinics. Travelers may access medical services as long as they do not have a criminal record. People with a criminal history or history of civil disobedience are not entitled to receive care. (Doctors and nurses can actually lose their licenses and be thrown in jail if they assist you. It’s harsh, we know, but we don’t make those rules.)

If you do suffer an injury or fall ill while traveling in Yara and you believe you do not qualify for healthcare, you can find an unlicensed field clinic that may be able to provide care for a price. But keep in mind, those installations are not always the cleanest. They do what they can.

Editor's Note: Here is one such unlicensed "field clinic" doing what they can.

Q: What do I do if someone tries to sell me crap on the beach?

A: Whatever you do, just be polite. Those people are simply trying to make a living. ‘No, gracias,’ goes a long way. Or perhaps do consider parting with a couple of pesos. Consider it your gift to our beautiful country.

Q: Why is it raining? Isn’t yara supposed to be a tropical country?

A: Hello, hurricane season. We are a Caribbean island and do have a rainy season which spans from about May through November. If you were here in September or October, chances are you got rain.

Q: do they eat dogs in Yara?

A: NO! We do have feral dogs but dogs are not a source of protein for most Yarans in normal times. There are backwoods cantinas that prepare and serve coyote meat but this is not a dish we could recommend.

Q: Are there any vegan restaurants? What do you recommend?

A: Veganism isn’t quite as widespread or popular in our country yet. Meat and fish remain the staple diet in Yara out of necessity. We are unable to recommend any vegan restaurant at this time. Lo siento.

Q: Is Yara LBGTQ friendly?

A: This is always quite the touchy subject because I am obliged to say that “Love is Love” is not quite a thing yet in our country, not for lack of effort to change things on the part of many of our citizens. Same sex marriage is not recognized nor legal in Yara at least at the time this article was written.

That being said, there are some drag shows that the government sponsors in an effort to appear more progressive and open-minded. There is at least one known underground gay bar but we are unable to share its location in order to protect the privacy and safety of the Yarans that may frequent said establishment. All and all, LGBTQ+ travelers, with a bit of research and a lot - a lot!! - of discretion may yet find that Yara’s queer community is alive and well, if away from the public eye.

Q: I don’t speak Spanish. Can I still travel to Yara?

A: Most Yarans are bilingual as English as a second language is taught throughout elementary school. There are some bilingual signs and all public announcements are played in Spanish and in English. As for other languages, we know of a small Russian-Yaran community and perhaps a minority of multilingual people but we cannot make assumptions that any language other than Spanish and English will be widely understood.

Q: Can I speak to the manager?

A: If by manager you mean El Presidente de Yara, this is not something we would recommend attempting. Grievances could be addressed with the PDP (Protectorado de Defensa de la Patria) but this is not something we would recommend doing either.

Q: What’s the best sniper rifle?

A: We are in no way gun experts and do not condone violence of any kind.

Q: Why are all the clocks set to 6:13?

A: That’s an urban legend.

Editor's Note: ...

Q: Why are yaran chicks so hot?

A: Because it’s hot in Yara.

Q: Are the men circumcised?

A: Ehhh I haven't had the chance to interview every man in Yara to find out but from my brief compulsory military service where privacy is practically nonexistent, I wanna say, mostly no?

Editor's Note: Do we edit that one out? 

Q: Is it true that cockfighting is legal? Why are you so backwards and barbaric?

A: Whether cockfighting is officially legal is debatable. The authorities are surely aware of tournaments occurring, they just don’t care. It is in no way everyone’s cup of tea and it isn’t a national sport or anything, more of an underground thing. There are known fighting rooster breeders such as Álvarez Farm and Esmeralda Eco Farm but don’t go to that one. Just.. don’t.

Q: Can I get a refund if it rains?

A:¿Puedo obtener un reembolso si las personas me hacen preguntas tontas? The rainy season in the Caribbean runs from late May through November. Perhaps you would enjoy a nice vacation on the surface of the Sun instead? Book your tickets here.

Q: Are there any coconut trees in Yara? I once went to Fiji and was too afraid to leave my room because I have a phobia of a coconut falling from a tree and killing me.

A: Your call.

Go to: FAQ Page 3

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