#or rhat someone wants to know better and make the efforts

[rosecochonnetduprintemps]

🥀

[quiveringdeer]

Now i want to know your answer to this one if you please :D Cloverfield: If you were in the zombie apocalypse/alien invasion, would you hide, and if so, where would you hide? What group of people would you want with you through this?

Ooooo!!!

Zombies: Ok so i consistently thought of this through hs and college. Now it just pops into my head every so often. While I don't ever feel like I want a gun of my own it just came up at dinner last night that a friend is gonna work to get their license here and I'm thinking of tagging along cause I dont wanna be in a situation where I dont know how to use it and also suck at aiming. So practice practice.

Also as for where to hide out. I currently live in the southern appalachias and I think mountains are totes the best place to be for zombies. I've also thought rhat while most people will be headed to walmarts or lowes and places like that I'm gonna skip those as they will probs have a high infection rate in the beginning. People be hidin wounds and shit. So no thanks to epicenter places. Even these buildings in rural areas are gonna be a no for me. I do think I'd hit up any smaller medical pharmacy and such if others had already broken in to begin looting--tho with this recent year's experience the panic buying of pains meds and stuff may deplete those rather quickly, outside of the like stronger stuff in the back you'd need prescriptions for. Which would be my main objective in a looting situation! First my own depression meds and shit cause i dont want to deal with that on top of the apocalypse. And then higher dose pain meds for when I now doubt have to amputate someone's limbs who has an extremity bite. But also like common first aid stuff in bulk. Cause the goal is to hole up somewhere far away from populations.

Also there is an army surplus store around here so I'd have a friend go with me if we had early stage warnings and stock up on MREs. Dried beans, rice and other non parishables. Oh! And water pruification tablets/drops. I have a life straw but not passin that around.

as for shelter I was thinking that most public land agencies (of which I work for one and wouldnt have thought of this otherwise) but they generally have multiple maintenance yards/compounds that are generally completely fenced in with sliding gate systems that work with a code, which hopefully could be modified to be done by human effort to conserve energy resources. There are also a number of places that have solar panels on buildings here so tracking those down to being to whichever maint. yard my crew chooses. Probs would be stickin with coworkers and callin close friends to invite them here. Then it'd be a matter of building up the integrity of the fence structure, adding in barriers to keep things further from the chainlink, ala the way Negan's camp is in the walking dead?? where they even employed zombie wardens out front to cut down on humans trying to infiltrate.

There is also my thought that I may consider moving north where snowfall and ice are more prevalent. It'd be fuckin miserable to live theough the winters. But on the off chance zombies existed even though I feel like rotting corpses couldn't maintain the musculature control to remain upright for long--plus without pain sensations they're more likely to overexert their muscles and stuff which leads to tears in muscles or tendons which would lead to lower mobility I could assume. Since pain keeps us from breaking ourselves by not exerting to our fullest capabilities. Anywho, regardless of all that. Heavy snowfalls and freezing temps should render them almost inert in the harsh northern winters. Making them easier for human hunting parties up for the task, to decimate their populations around the area.

Though the thaw in summer would probs be awful with the smell, while our mighty decomposers do their job! not to mention these wonderful animals, insects included, who have larvae that thrive on eating rotting meat? those guys will be active during the warmer times and help more quickly decompose the zombies. Yay nature havin our ill-adapted/evolved humans!!

So then it's a matter of waiting out things. I may even draft up a email with my plan to be able to mass send through our agency servers so others could hopefully mimic in their areas so that we could have multiple holdouts of humans to be able to have an better mix of human genetic diversity once we wait out the zombie decomposition and need to repopulate.

Also, another thought. I'm sure many Indigenous people, especially those unfortunately forced on reservations, will be amazing strongholds. Cause when they shut their borders they SHUT their borders lol From experience with the tribe next to my park and their protocols for the early pandemic. So potentially calling in friends and contacts to set up alliances eventually.

I think that's all the main important bits. I wont drone on with plans for accepting those in need into the compound and such. Cause while i'll definitely be using my voice to speak up for that, if it works out that a bunch of coworkers from my park are within the compound with me those decisions will probably run through the incident command protocols and hierarchies already set up within the national park structure. I'd just try to implement myself within those teams that are making decisions cause I feel I'd have thw most useful plans, obviously. 😌 lol

but yeah. Thanks for asking this question my darling!!! There are other things i probs left out but it's super early and my cats are yelling at me that i havent fed them since i chose to answer this upon waking lol

Aliens

suicide mention in this one 😬

Ok so aliens i havent thought about as extensively. I'd probs try to communicate I'm not a threat and hope they arent the type to want to subjugate humans. If so I mean my fantasy brain is like-- are they attractive aliens to me?? cause 👀👀👀 If not and they're the subjugating kind I'd probs off myself I guess?? Like I don't want to be forced into perpetual servitude and hiding out to try and survive without being captured seems miserable sooo yeah.

[modern-oedipus]

Rant I think

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I have to keep remind myself that even though the person I love the most in the world is suffering and is not likely to stop suffering for the rest of his life, it is not entirely my fault and me blaming and punishing myself or thinking about just destroying myself won’t bring them further happiness and I must not take my own happiness away by my own hands... or should I?

I always feel guilty enjoying my life when my dad’s so stressed, but I can’t ever change him to open up no matter what I do; and he always works hard & says I should just enjoy myself and live my life & provides me with all good for that, but then whenever I see him being so upset— for years— and whenever I just... I don’t know. I literally went suicidal because of guilt of existing and being a burden back then, even though he explictly states that it’s his own choice to have kids, that he loves me, that he’s proud of me, that I mean the world to him, etc, and he proved his words thousands of times, but-

But he doesn’t seem to understand I care about him as much as he cares about me.

And I feel so guilty living my life and being happy when he is not.

But I can’t make him happy ornsolve his problems— those are real adult stuff that’s beyond my power.

But when I live my life and enjoy it I feel like I’m being ignorant and I feel so guilty.

When I punish myself for that— emotionally and literally, I end up depressed and not good. And that’s dangerous. Depression is so dangerous especially in such a young age that I am in, so god forbid that-

I don’t know what to do, honestly. I feel so guilty enjoying myself and I feel downright shitty if I don’t enjoy myself. Nothing solves the problem.

The regret and fear is always eating me alive.

Even though there is nothing I can do.

It hs been like this from as long as I can remember my life.

I just want him to be happy, well-rested, and at peace. He wants same for me.

We never get both in once. Bwcause he’s always the one who gives. Always so self sacrificing. I used to think my dad is absolutely perfect but I think that’s very damgerous to give too muxh of yourself even if it’s... family. I’m... grateful of course... how can I not... but then I feel like a parazyte or something....... and I wouldn’t exchange his well being for anything else......... and yet.... I.... uh... my head’s gonna burst. I am just typing because I pushed this thought away so many times in these last days and if I pushed it away again it’d lead a really bad breakdown. I need to avoid that so I need to speak. Not to anyone particularly. Maybe I should seek a therapist. But still. Only place I can apply due outside conditions would he that in myncollege and I don’t think there’s place there. But still. I can’t afford another depression in the years that should be the most fun so I’ll have to keep my mental heath in check no matter what. So I guess it’s better to just write it out— maybe not scientifically most suggested or verified theory but I can’t expect things to be perfect to start working on them.

So yeah.

Basically.

I am so full of love and life and joy nowadays.

But I also feel so undeserving for all or them.

Sometimes I feel smart and beautiful and productive and loved. Mostly.

Then I feel guilty for itntoo, even though I worked so hard for all of them— I worked so hard to understand all scientific shit, not only textbook wise but actual effort to adapt to scientific thinking. I worked hard in gym to get the body I want and I paid attention to my appearance and manners and culture, yet I still feel undeservjngn of beauty aometimes. I overcame social anxiety years ago and every friendship & communication I make successfully are big amazing achievements that may come naturally to extroverts but to me they took hard work. Sometimes, mostly, I’m like, “Wow Nila, well done! Amazing!” Then other times I’m like “Do you even?? Deserve your food?? Or your life??????? Do you even?? Deserve a warm bed when there are homeless people?? Do you even??? Deserve all these friends????? When you’re just?? You??? Do you even deserve enjoying your life when your parents are being quite exhausted and upset to provide for your spoiled rich kid life????” and...... like... this got me in serious depression before which onlynupsetted them further and they couldnt understand what was wrong woth me because they “gave me all”, emotionally and financially. They just couldnt ser that I felt like a parayste that’s sucking life out of them, as if Imm killing them by my own hands, andnidk.

Maybe I’m being too dramatic. Maybe that’s not the case. My parents strictly say they’re proud, that zi’m loved, that itms theirnown decision and not mine, etc., etc. I have no dark past, a clean family with no sad stuff or abuse or anything, and honestly, I don’y know.

I just want to see them happy and at peace too. Thst’s only way I can feel content. But I can’t change them. I can’t control a big majority of the spendings I have. I don’t know shat to fo. Thjs has been a problem for so many years. Itms not sth that appeared yesterday. Sometimes I can ignore. But then the feeling comes back like a ghost. That I’m undeserving. That I must be ashamed for enjoying myself.

I want to tell that it’s a lie, that it’s just a depressed thought and as a scientist I can’t trust a brain in clinical depression cause that’s chemical imbalance. That’s literally what keeps me sane, knowing that depression is a medical condition and any depression triggering thoughts are NOT REAL snd they’re just some medical imbalance of hormones and transmitters so I am just fine.

I’m not depressed, not really, I still feel excited and hupe and happy today. But this thought lingers. I couldn’tbhave afforded to push this thought away for the fifth time in last two days otherwise it’d break me. So I’f rather write it.

I keep telling myself that I am truly deserving to live and enjoy live.

I seriously had to rmeind myself two days ago like “just because you got a bad grade does not validate you starving yourself, you are deserving to eat rven when you are not doing well” tben I did buy myself my healthy food and ate it but...

Can I even... prove that I’m worth it??

Scientificaly??

I know for a fact rhat me trying is a good reason. Me working hard is a good reason. But not an enough reason. I need to be productive. I need to make myself happy. I need to make people I love happy. I neef to bring smiles to faces people I love— I need to get accepted to that project so I can perform researches when I’m off school so I can design drugs and save people so that my life and existence can be allowed and appreciated. I need to write fanfics and news and produce creative content to let my heart out and share joy with friends so we feel happy and alive and connected so it has a meaning. I need to save street animals so I actually have a meaning living my life.

Am I really deserving????

I am, I say myself, but then a voice whispers, but... are you sure?

I again say yes, I’m sure.

So far, I’m surs.

A little hesitant, but tjat must be some invalid creeping thoughtrather than a feality. Sveryone is deservijg of a happy joyful life so why not me??? I’d never say someone is undeserving of happiness unless that someone had an inexcusable crime like murder or something; and since that doesnt really happen in real life i’d sAy yes we all are deserving but...

I dkn’t know.

Maybe I should talk to someoen instead of mindlessly typing.

A therapist sounds nice but not too affordable. I’ll still try on Monday— wait no I hVe a midterm. Tuesday. I’ll try. If it’s not abailable maybe I can try some online therapy which is more convenient. I don’t know. Imm still feeling alive an happy and not detachef which is good but I don’t want this feeling to lead anywhere bigger, if it makes sensez

I just keep reminding myself that I am worth safety and love and joy as much as everyone else is

[somethingimnotembarassedbylater]

ugh i’m just in the mood right now. i just don’t know like what am i even doing cause how am i lonely like that’s so fucjing lame that’s such a lame problem to have that’s so trash that’s absolutely terrible i hate it so much what the hell im just not into the concept at all i don’t wanna face it cayse when you think about it what friends do i really have lmao??????????? this is my fault for sure like i can’t even blame anyone else for fhis i’ve been purposefully not putting in effort and putting it off as a oh im taking time for myseld so it’s self care,,, thats a lie self care would be doing things id actually feel good at the end about. i’m just alone huh like when i think about it’s not bad i’m not mad at it i don’t hate it cause i have the things that bring me joy and i have the things i don’t thats life for everyone but then being seen as lonely rhats fucked up i hate that so much like someone’s gonna pity me,, ME??? i have a perfect life haha why would anyone think about me and not be jealous why would they think of me and feel bad for me why would they think oh poor girl let me try harder as some charity like this is my absolute worst nightmare and the fact that i’m triggered so easily too especially by her but i don’t know what it is about her like is it that she’s extremely aggressive when talking to me or is it that she reminds me of who i really am i can’t hide behind a screen in front of her she knows i got no friends and i don’t think she’s exactly subtle about bringing it up again and again like i get it a joke is a joke but i am sensitive i’ll admit i get my feelings hurt so quickly and there goes my entire day you know like i haven’t done anything and i don’t know if i will and i don’t feel fulfilled at all and i’m lacking im not spiritual i’m not good at anything i’m literally just here i’m not even contributing i’m legit just here and i can’t lie about that this isn’t enough ofcourse it isn’t cause is anyone even happier seeing me anyone even think of me in a fond way am i even someone’s go to cayse i don’t think so no ones my fucjing go to anymore i hate it so much i’m just a lonely loser who sits in her room and eats and takes and hoards and is awkward and has nothing to show for herself no social skills no attractive attributes nothing about me is someone i’d willingly talk to cause fr there’s absolutely nothing of substance i ever have to say ,,, the last time i had a real conversation God i can’t even remember cayse what the fuck who am i even honest to? who’s gonna sit there and listen to me? is fhis why people want a boyfriend is rhis why girlfriends are important? as if anyone would ever try to even have a conversation with me cause who the fuck am i even what do i have to say? all i do is distract distract distract like from what? what even is inside me? nothing right? i’m not a real person i have no personality i’m just a parroted version of other people i’ve seen i legit have no respect no attributes about me that anyone would ever want to have so then i jisy change my appearance and bet everything on that so that i can be interesting there’s absolutely nothing of substance in me i hate it i hate it here it hate it i don’t hate me there is no me i jisy fuckijg hate it i don’t know how to be a person i feel like i’m just fundamentally missing a part of a person that lets them have a spine and make decisions or do things that they like or express any kind of emotion cause havent i just been fake as hell to everyone and fuck they all think i’m an attention strived baby who can be quelled with some affirmations right? like no one will ever ask about me right? it’s not like i’m asking either am i ,, so it is my fault right? i look and am pathetic to anyone who knows me and they all look down on me i fucking hate it i imagine it’ll be better if i meet someone who understands but clearly it’s been 19 years no one fucking does

[justiinets-blog]

MANADES LEARNINGS AND INSIGHTS

To start off, I think that my MANADES (Management for Designers) class under the BS-Industrial Design in De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde, of Sir Rino Datuin is essential when it comes to being a future Industrial Designer. There may be a lot of cases where fresh graduates of Industrial Design courses would not know how to deal with people and how to effectively work in groups when they start out.  As designers, many of us can be branded as “introverts” but have many ideas in our heads. I, for one, am one of those people, so I think having a class like this would push me further to understand how people work. This class have given me tips on how to deal with people.

As this class was firstly structured under Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Effective People, it made me very curious as to what these 7 habits are. Though they were discussed in class, I would still want to tackle these habits intensively in the future. I have actually tried asking my relatives whether or not they have the book, hoping that I can push myself to read it. 

The lesson that struck me the most in this class would be the first habit: Being PROACTIVE.

Though I think I am slightly proactive when it comes to the problems I think about and can face again in the future, I still think that I lack the discipline to practice it in every situation I encounter. 

The video we watched in class actually impacted me because it made me realize that what I have been doing barely compares to what the now successful people do. It made me feel frustrated because I felt like I still was not doing enough, but also enthusiastic because I know I can do more from now since the concept of being proactive has been discussed with us. The class has required me to put in more effort, time and work into the things we were required to do, but I can’t see myself complaining about it.... maybe juuust a bit :)

But I still think the things we were asked to do in class is essential and has contributed to the improvement of my own self-discipline. The incentive presented to us pushed me to want to revise my works in case I learn that something is missing, and I hope that I get to practice it even in my future works. 

Seeing other people’s works in class has also triggered my standards and has been itching me to try and compete with them. I see someone’s work that’s really good and nice, so that makes me want to do better or at least be at par with them. 

The final requirement was to interview a successful Industrial Designer. Even if finding a person to interview can prove to be quite difficult, I think it was actually an opportunity that was forced on us since it is a requirement. That requirement has made me converseand interview with Odo Fioravanti which is a tremendous opportunity. Here's our video interview: https://youtu.be/01pbeDGC8Ac The one that impacted me the most would be where he mentioned rhat he would only look at portfolios of people who join competitions because it shows that the person has more drive and passion as compared to those who just study in school. Though I have tried joining some contests, I have had more thoughts of joining contests rather than actually joining them. I just hope I can push myself more to join competitions in the future.

So with that, I’d like to say: Thank you, Sir, for teaching and providing me with opportunities I wouldn’t have stumbled upon by myself. :)

[josthecommision]

Chapter 1: Fighter’s Guild jr cup

1. The Elder Scrolls Short Story:  Jozre 4E 4rth of Frostall 196, Cyrodiil

It was a joyous time among the students of Bruma Academy and their teachers now that the anticipated extracurricular event of the fall had finally come. The grand academy festival of martial skill was hot vibrant with the cheers of students and family alike, all scattered across the campus among the events. None were more exited of this event then the students of the junior fighter’s guild and their mentors both teacher and parents. It was at this time of the year were the young fighters proved their merit and skill in sparring against each other to see who was best. Jozre Antonius Alkazier was among the exited hopefuls ready to prove himself in combat for the girl, or as his friend liked to correct, girls he liked.

The young khajiit was of the cathey-rhat sub species known for their naturally enhanced stature and muscle bulk and it showed as the young squire towered over the other children. Many of the young contestants of equal or lesser skill tended to lose confidence over this costing them the match, a fact Jozre was all too reliant of in the past. Having lost several matches to the more skilled and confident squires, Jozre was set on wining the competitions this time around after hard earned lessons of the past. This time, the teen-cub had actually practiced his swordsmanship and was ready to conquer.

Jozre’s golden brown eyes scanned the competition and events almost as if absorbed into it all because he could hear his best friend call out to him in frustration. It was only when the blue eyed bosmeri half-blood elf tugged on the green tunic of the dark brown maned and light brown furred khajiit that he got the feline’s attention. “Jozre, come on man, nirn to Jozre!” Cody the bosmeri half-breed snapped his fingers at Jozre before presenting his short sword in fencing motions.

“hmm? sorry there Cody, I kind of just drifted there. You were saying?” Jozre asked as he fixed his blunt bastard iron sword on his back by its rope when the smaller friend rolled his eyes.

“what, already day dreaming of the sexy girls we are going to enjoy once we win? Or I hope I win, you think the girls are interested in a swift fencer? I know I can’t win against Uldisiel and his halberd but perhaps I can insert the ladies. What you think?” Cody asked his friend as he thought of the guild undefeated champion and Aldmeri hopeful who was extremely skilled with the halberd pull ax. It was understandable how the High elf boy was not popular among the nords and imperials, a fact the elf never seemed to care about despite his polite yet professional attitude towards everything. A true altmeri perfectionist on the endless quest.

“I sure hope so for your sake, Uldisiel is apparently a young generous and I can’t expect to beat him. Not that I will not go down without a fight” Jozre commented just as they were actually passing by the young high elf who had likely heard them but showed no care in the world, simply nodding to the duo before continuing his training wile whispering something.

“man, doesn’t he ever stop practicing?”

“being a genius takes effort and you know how Altmer are, their perfectionists by nature” Jozre simply responded with a shrug as they continued to walk across the festival.

There was a great amount of merriment as the people celebrated youth and the growth of new warriors of Cyrodiil and of their community. Little children enjoyed events perfectly fitting for them as apple bobbing, animal petting with goats, sheep and small cows from the neighboring farms. Even the children were given a chance to show their fire to fight as little children were given padded armor and spongy clothed sticks standing for swords to fight each other while supervised. The older warriors would get a kick at watching children hit each other with spongy sticks while pretending to be great heroes. It was all very adorable to watch and most of the boys seemed to love it.

The boys were just sightseeing and enjoying the sights of the food offered to the populace, the jesters pulling tricks and the cute girls of ages 12 and up for the ever enthusiastic Cody. Jozre was sometimes put off at how someone so young as Cody could be thinking of wooing as many girls as a guy could but their instructors always said how boys would be boys. It was when they arrived at the archery contest just as it was beginning when Jozre’s thought of archery drew him of Cody yet again but this time at his lack luster archery when it came to the heavier bows for a bosmer.

“so light hunting bow as always Cody? Have you ever thought of lifting weights to get stronger, you know, for the war long bows” Jozre said, leaning on the fence that separated the shooting ranges from the spectators as he pointed at a 60-pound war bow sitting beside the much lighter hunting bow.

“no man, that muscle stuff is for the big guys, I like it nice and fun sized. Besides, I am really good with the hunting 30 pounder. You think would appreciate bull’s eyes?” Cody asked, knowing that the 30 pounder did not have nearly the same penetration force then the stronger war bows but he was fine with having perfect aim. “anything is possible I guess, there are bound to be girls who like someone that hits the center every time”

“Ok then, you convinced me. Going to show them why the bosmer are the most accurate shooters in the land!” exited and about the contest he would do best at despite using a weaker bow, Cody and Jozre clasped hands together with a smile as they wished each other good luck “hey, isn’t the sparing competition starting soon? Better get going then man, I’ll come find you when the archery is done.”

Jozre was surprised at the realization as the archery competition started just before the sparring and tended to end half way through the sparring. The friends clasped each other’s palms and tugged at each other in a form of manly salute before parting ways, promising to cheer for each other on. I only gearing up for sparing did not take so long. …

After approaching the location of the sparring tournament, Jozre knew that his mother was waiting for him with his gear so he was not in any rush to arrive so he took the time to inspect the competition. The grounds were thick with spectators and among them were the contestants who were mingling among the crowd and their family. Champion Uldisiel was not hard to spot as he silently gathered with his haughtier family members, all sporting high end elven garbs and even his father looking like Thalmor. Uldisiel himself wore a high end gambeson with an outer layer of silk and the signature gold falcon armor of the Aldmeri dominion, gleaming even without polish. The teen-cat felt a bit of relief seeing as the junior champ seemed to be a man of action rather than bragging like his family although he could be less cold about the world and perfection. It was then that Jozre was pleasantly spotted by the secret girl of his heart currently.

Kaylias, a ginger blond haired girl of pasty pale skin dotted with freckles and the bluest eyes one could get lost in, or as it seemed to the smitten Jozre, has spotted her secret admirer in the crowd “hay Jozre, how’s it been? Cant believe your participating! I can’t wait to see you in action!” Kaylias’ words of encouragement were followed by the ugliest smile a girl of her age could have: yellow teeth browning from over consumption of brown sugar and maybe even moon sugar.  Jozre listened to her with a love smitten expression barely hidden as her flaws were completely ignored by the Khajiit, flaws that kept on coming and flaws Jozre ignored because he truly loved her “hello? Nirn to Jozre!” Jozre was startled back to reality, noting he had quite the problem for day dreaming

“oh yea, the competition. Yea, sure am and I can’t wait to prove myself. You know, because I am awesome haha” Jozre said, taking a dorky pose that made Kaylias laugh “sorry, I still need to work on my pose ” Kaylias stole a look of her former crush Uldisiel who she was very vocal about until he out right rejected her after her confession to the elf to which Jozre was there to comfort her sadness. Even when she would never give him a second thought.

“Are you sure you want to? You’re going against Uldisiel the champion. He is so gallant and perfect with the halberd that he did beat you really bad the last 2 years”

“hah, I still have to try. Right?” Jozre declared just as his expression became solemn and thought this was the best time as any “listen Kaylias, I need to confess something to you and its very important so please hear me out” Jozre spoke as the world around him seemed to mute around him and he remembered all those times he stood by her when she was sad and hurt and alone whenever someone would reject her or even bully her about her pail skin, her yellow teeth or her second bellybutton. All of this apparent flaws to her that made her the subject of ridicule from others were trivial to Jozre because he saw the beautiful and up lifting girl that she was. This was his hour to make good on his feelings for the flawed yet perfect girl before him.

“what is it, you can tell me” Kaylias asked, giving him a smile that vanished as soon as Jozre took her by the hands so suddenly and held them in his paws as if they were made of gold.

“I….I have been meaning to tell you this for years and you know. Ok, just going to say it. I love you and have loved you sines the day I meet you!” Jozre would have continued with a request for her affection but the feeling that he had already been so intrusive kept him from doing so. Kaylias just stood there, shocked and when she did move, it was to with draw her hands and mumble to herself “oh…umm well” she could only blurt out before turning tail to run away just as confused as Jozre who ended up wandering where he went wrong or if he actually did things correctly. Jozre simply stood there before the bell signaling the start of tournament rang loudly, Uldisiel gone long ago which startled Jozre and set him rushing to his station.

Rushing to his block were his gear was and his mother who would assist him, Jozre came in running and took in his surroundings, hoping he was not too late warranting disqualification. His mother made sure to convince the judges to let the others go first which was not a real problem.

Maravi, a suthay-rhat,was almost an original template of Jozre by her fur’s dark and light brown combining colors and patterns similar to an ocelot but her eyes were darker and her hair lighter. Pointing to a rack holding up a plain but thick gambeson and an old iron sword and a kettle helm, her mother began to scold him for his lateness “where were you, hmm? Your 10 minutes late. You’re lucky I could convince the judges to let the other contestants go first! Now get ready and gear up. Make us proud ok, do your best!” Maravi spoke with a motherly passion that made Jozre happy they were alone. Giving her cub a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug, Maravi rushed out to find a seat on the stands before the good ones were taken.

The Khajiit was not of a rich family but being able to make do with what he had, Jozre was able to buy himself functional but affordable gear. Jozre began to put on the gambeson with practiced ease as the frontal belts and the belt on his hips were strapped rather swiftly and not just because his match might start soon. Jozre could feel excitement in the thought of finally getting somewhere in the festival rankings that he could swear he could not feel his kettle helm and stuffy armor on. Fastening his gloves and take in hand his buckler shield and iron sword in hand, Jozre took in a deep breath at the sound of the bell and announcement of the next participants to fight.

“In the left, hailing from the dunmer lands of Morrowind just to prove his people’s superiority, the representative of the slavers of Ebonheart! give it up for Jubal!” the dark elf was probably as arrogant as any elf trying to proof something to everyone, wearing some sort of bug armor with the slaver’s chain of Dres in his chest. This would be fun. The crowd of dark elves more in touché to the savage ways of Morrowind cheered while the races and families of the oppressed and enslaved booed as hard as they could that it almost ended in a fist fight.

“yea that’s right you worthless scum, you all belong in cages!” the young Dres brandished his forked staff as if to use it to pin all none dunmer to the ground.

“and in the right corner, hailing from Elswayr and now a member of our community, member of the lesser noble house of tradesmen. Give it up to Jozre!” Jozre came out of his booth swinging his iron sword as if to challenge the slaver causing the crowd to cheer just because a khajiit was finally going to put a dunmer slaver in their place. Joining the cheers in the stands was Maravi who was pleased that so many cheered for her son even if it was situational and beside her were the rest of his family.

To her left was his father Skhar, a Cathey and just below Jozre in height, was of tall and of strong broad shouldered build who had suffered from the unfortunate belly of a beer drinking office worker. To her right was Dah-rha, cathey-rhat, and the tallest of the group despite being the youngest wile sporting the thin but athletic build of a fast runner. Dah-rah sported a peculiar feature that set him apart like his father in having a well pronounced and downward curving snout and nose. Next to him was suthey-rhat Rafra who was the wisest of them all and dark of fur like his father and baby brother, his thick build echoed the long ours in the Imperial humane resources offices. And last but not least was Skhar Jr, or Oscar as he liked to be called was the oldest of the litter arguably the tallest as a cathey-rhat and member of the Imperial military. Jozre took strength by the fact that his family was there to cheer for him, even if it was for a moment as each one had places to be.

With the bell ringing loudly, the fight was on the way and soon the two warriors began sizing them up, or at least Jozre did as the Dres boy was sure of his victory by racial virtue alone “so, cat, ready to eat dirt like the animal that you are?” the dunmer spat the word cat as he tried to seem bigger then he really was, almost a foot shorter than the still growing Jozre. Fighting against the urge to go berserk on the elf, Jozre studied his situation to find an opening as he noted he had the strength advantage but not the speed nor the reach thanks to the forked staff of the slaver who continued the taunting “so, ready to lose?”

“Big mouth for a privileged snob like you who’s ugly armor those not even have a scratch on it! what, first real battle little elf?” Jozre taunted back, noting that the bug looking armor was so pristine and scratch less that it had never seen real combat “you never actually fought have you? Only had slaves to spar with?”

Jozre had unwittingly guessed correctly as the Dres had little experience with a real fight unlike Jozre and in an attempt to prove the khajiit wrong the Dres boy attaced. Seeing the faint trace of mounting frustration, Jozre decided to block and side stepping the jabs the dunmer while looking for an opening in hopes of frustrating the elf “Is this all you have ashy? Man are you slow!” Jozre added salt to insult by rushing forward after a slightly clumsy thrust from the dunmer to bash him in the face with his sword’s pummel before stepping back.

The Dunmer screamed in agony right after stepping back, the blow of metal on bone having fractured on of his teeth as noted by the bloody drool and the faint sound of cringing. With his enemy stunned, Jozre took the chance and slashed at the dunmer’s knee before finally tackling him to the ground only to sit on top of him and bring his blunt iron sword between the gaps of the Dres’ helmet and breastplate “got you now.”

The judges had seen enough and rang the bell signaling the end of the match, sending guild members to aid the participants as Jozre got up with a smile on his face “match set, victory goes to Jozre” the crowd cheering for Jozre and for the defeat of the Dres roared in approval as Jozre took in the sight and lifted his sword in triumph “how those it tastes to eat the dirt an “animal” stepped on, eh chimuelo?” Jozre taunted and spat at his direction while no one was looking before rushing odd before the Dres could respond, cackling along the way. It sure felt good to put a jerk like that in his place but he had to keep that from going to his head, it was bound to get harder from up to that point. Little did the Khajiit know just how difficult the day was going to be because talented opponents were not the only threats Jozre would face that day.