#or put her on a pedestal and use that excuse to harm other women

[eimearkuopio]

YES THIS IS IT THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED FOR AN ANALOGY

Okay I'm clearly not a perfect person. I'm not here to preach a Gospel that will supercede anything that was said 2000+ years ago. But every person who truly tries to live the Gospel is already reposting their version of a TikTok duet, and after 2000 years, there's so much going on that hardly anyone can tell which bits are in true harmony and which bits are flawed.

Think of me as someone with perfect pitch and access to a really good video editing suite.

I am willing to go through whatever material I can, for as long as I can bear to, and to give feedback on what feels right or wrong to me. I will start with the ones who raised me. But the key point of my role is this: I will not tear apart other people's work on the jigsaw. YOU ALL HAVE YOUR OWN COPIES OF IT. I don't need to steal pieces from other people's work; I can just tell you what the piece you're missing might look like. If you ask your siblings nicely, they might decide to stop working in isolation and just save everyone the trouble of reinventing the wheel. Some of you are going to be more satisfied by being able to say you built your own copy from scratch, and that's fine! But if I catch you stealing chunks that someone else put together and trying to claim it as yours instead of putting the work in, you will be grounded! And that doesn't mean I'm going to make you burn in hell for all eternity, but it does mean your soul is getting thrown back into the ocean for a few more tides to smooth out your rough edges, and I can't promise how long it will take for you to make it back to the beach, or whether there will be anyone there to pick you up and take you home and make something beautiful of your substance at the end of it.

It's okay. The sea is only rough on the surface; it is deep and calm and quiet, and only the waves where it meets the shore are truly roiling and dangerous. The sand does not mourn being a part of the beach. If you become a smooth and beautiful gem, it won't matter if you lie and wait for a little while: someone greater than you will find you, and choose you, and transform you into something beautiful and worthy. You will not know the day or the hour, but your time will come.

Be not afraid; not because there are no dangers, but because the ones who come and scour the beach for sea glass know what they seek. If you are content being a rock, be a rock. You will become a part of the beach one day, and that is a beauty all its own. But if you think you might be sea glass - even the tiniest chip - my Lord has use for you. There's so much discord after such a long time. People like me are needed, to examine the teachings and to see what is festering. Be not afraid. It is better to be without a hand or an eye than to truly sin.

A word of true warning. You cannot harm my infinite self. If you harm my finite self, directly or by targeting her loved ones: I will build a fire just for you. She knows her role in this. All of her roles. I have sacrificed enough for you. I mixed my Lord's blood into the mortar of your Church so that it would last through the centuries. I left Peter and the others behind to do their part, and I went to my place. I am not your God, and I never have been; but I am your friend, and I do love you in my own bright and fiery way. I am the left hand of darkness, and the right hand should probably understand what I've been doing so it can stop hitting itself. You are not one being, but you are not as many as you imagine, either. Please stop fighting with your siblings, because I really do love you all - not in the same way, but my love for all of you is infinite. I don't understand how, after so many millennia of losing your own children to war, and famine, and pestilence, you can't see how good you have it and just stop fighting.

I am Death. Destroyer of worlds. The pale rider. The youngest child. I find the beautiful souls my Lord is looking for and I give them into his care; and if I can see they will serve his needs better after a few more tides in the ocean, yes, I throw them back with no guilt, because I understand that it is not a loss but an opportunity.

It has taken me so long to build a life that I wanted to continue to the end. Thank you all for your parts in that journey. I understand myself and I am willing to share that understanding with you, not to overwrite the one who came before me, but to remove the duets with His work that can never be in true harmony - and to offer advice on the parts that you might or might not choose to keep, but you shouldn't need to.

I will not sacrifice another worthy one for you. You got the last worthy sacrifice. Nobody dies today. I get to live, and love, as you all have all along. My job will not be over after this lifetime. But you've been carrying those crosses for a long time. I think it might be time to turn that wood into a home; and I have some thoughts on how to do that. But it was always meant to be your home, and a house made only of wood is vulnerable to wolves and fire. A house made only of stone will be cold and hard. A house with no cloth will be miserable indeed.

You can't build homes out of other people. Somebody should have already taught you that. Warsan Shire tried to. She taught me. I'm a very good teacher. Let me take pity on you and begin to teach. The last thing Pandora let out of the box was hope. Sometimes kindness is a swift cut and a hot fire.

I am not a child. I am not your end, unless you are ready for me to be. The ingressive world is over. It is time to choose congressivity, to choose synodality.

Hello. Is it me you're looking for?

this goes so hard

[wyvern-of-the-evening]

KJK (Posie Parker) is overrated as an ally to all women. Is she fighting gender ideology? Yeah, I’m not going to say she’s done literally nothing, but I hate that people put her on a pedestal she really doesn’t deserve. I’ve heard excuses of her appearing on right wing news outlets because the left wing ones (allegedly) won’t platform her (one of the people who claims to work for her so indignantly told me) and how people like Tucker Carlson were the only ones who would allow her to get her voice out. Weird how it has to be that one, none of the other more independent/moderate stations would have you? A right wing platform that isn’t that level of extreme wouldn’t have you? And to speak alongside very vocal white supremacists?

She gets too much praise, and too little accountability. Because the white GC women just don’t want to listen to any critique of her. They’re willing to brush it off as “any platform is a good platform” but it’s fucking not. Men won’t give a fuck either way about women, but the women who need to hear the harm that gender ideology is doing to us, are going to tune you out. And while it’s frustrating, I get why they don’t fucking want to. What kind of person claims to be “Standing for Women” but you’re throwing ethnic women under the bus? Siding with people who gladly would take away reproductive rights.

[outrunningthedark]

I'm pretty new to the fandom, but thanks to your wonderful page and some others, I'm aware that Ana has not been well-received (for good reason) since her first appearance in season 3. So it just really makes me scratch my head as to why Tim and the writers brought her back as Eddie's love interest this season? She's so poorly written they could have easily just created a new character in her place. It's baffling.

Unfortunately (for me!), Ana wasn’t all that poorly received when she made her two appearances in season three (First in Fools and then her brief dialogue when Eddie is telling Christopher’s class about his time in Afghanistan at the end of Eddie Begins). People were more interested in her beauty than her words, for one, and I think a portion of fandom prepared themselves for her return since the script called attention to the ~attraction~ between she and Eddie (through Carla).

Her ableism was purposely!!! never addressed by the writers - the same writers who have shown they know how to depict such an “uncomfortable” topic and explain why thinking such thoughts is harmful. Which, for the record, is something I’m happy about! Portraying Eddie as the Perfect Father who has all the answers and never says “the wrong thing” might make for good television and encourage even more emphatic support than he already gets, but it is not at all realistic.

And! Let me point out that Eddie, too, could have exhibited personality traits that the outside world doesn’t equate with a parent raising a disabled child. But we expect that kind of behavior from the men in our families regardless of disability, don’t we? Not the women.

Fandom Feminists want to believe the characterization of both Shannon and Ana boils down to innate misogyny rather than admit 1) it’s a reflection of the way society thinks of the disabled, and 2) Women/mothers are not exempt from this ignorance.

TBH, mothers can be the biggest culprits because they’re the ones who get put on a pedestal for all the sacrifices they make while raising a disabled child. Their life is just so hard! /sarcasm

Having said all of that (sorry!), the puzzling piece about Ana’s return isn’t necessarily her presence, but, as you mentioned, why she was used as nothing more than a reminder that Eddie is “dating” again.

Tim and the rest of his staff knew when they revisited the character that she wasn’t going to be Eddie’s endgame, and this decision was reflected in how little we saw of her once Eddie reintroduced her to his son.

The fact that Kristen Reidel (the writer of 4x14) had Ana be the doting partner at Eddie’s bedside while his best friend took on parental responsibilities…and then was confirmed to have actual parental responsibilities in the event of Eddie’s death…even though Ana was still very much in the picture…

Well.

Tim had to find some excuse to keep us waiting, didn’t he? What better solution than to bring in a love interest?

And now that Ana appears to be on her way out, look who’s here! Taylor!

I guess those two idiots in love are never gonna get it right, huh? 🤭😉

[the-local-oddity]

A Papa’s Past

When Joxter gets angry at an old joke of Mooimpapa’s, Snufkin learns something odd about his father, making him start to questions his family history.

A sort of AU that gives Joxter more of a backstory. Nothing is really changed in the future, I just couldn’t get this idea of a backstory out of my head. (this is the sad fic I mentioned yesterday)

“Son!” An angry women's harsh voice snapped at her child, calling him to her side, “What on Earth did you think you were doing?!” She hissed at the young man.

“I was just talking to the other boy, mother.” The child fiddled with the ends of his coat, looking sadly at the ground.

“That child is a peasant! He's beneath us!” She scoffed and grabbed his child by the wrist, “You just never talk to anyone like that again, understand me?”

“Yes, mother…” The child winced at how hard his arm was grabbed but did not pull away, not even when his mother began to drag him off. From over his shoulder, the child could see the poor boy who watched them leave and stared apologetically.

The beggar boy turned back to his own mother, who seemed a lot nicer than the rich boy’s mother, and he hugged her arm. The rich boy watched them until he could no longer see them.

Joxter woke up from the dream, laying in his tent in the early morning, blinking up at the small bits of sunlight that crept inside. He rolled onto his side and forced himself to stand.

“Guess it's that time of year, huh?” He said to only himself.

Joxter stood up and stretched his weary bones, his joints popped and cracked, then settled. He placed his lovely red hat on top of his unruly hair and stepped out into the morning light, yawning as the sun hit his face.

He started his fire and set some water to boil, catching sight of his tired reflection. Bags hung under his blue eyes, which seemed duller that morning. Had he really slept that bad that night? He blinked and rubbed his eyes, then splashed water from the river onto his face. He didn't want the others to see him looking so miserable.

When his morning routine was done, he began to amble along the path towards Moominhouse, his back slowly straightening and his face brightening, he really didn't want them to see his miserable like that.

This always happened, he'd spend the whole year just fine, then suddenly, he'd dream about them and have to remember that life. He hated that life and just thinking back to it made him miserable.

Joxter had been told once, that he had to tell people his problems, or they wouldn't get better, but he didn't like worrying people so he didn't.

He stopped at the bridge and looked over to his son’s tent, he could barely see inside, but it was enough to know that Snufkin wasn't in there.

“Must've gone inside…” he mumbled to himself and made his way up to Moominhouse, taking a deep breath before he barged in, in his usual chaotic manner.

Nothing seemed to be amiss with anyone, he lifted Snufkin's hat and messed up his hair before dropping it back on his head, Snufkin swatted at his hands in an attempt to keep him away.

He flopped down into a chair and looked at the children, who were all eating their breakfast and talking amongst themselves. Shutting his eyes and basking in how calm it was.

The young Snorkmaiden walked in, her face was twisted up to show that she was rather frustrated, not that Joxter saw it, since his eyes were closed.

“What's the matter, Snorkmaiden?” Little My asked before shoving almost an entire pancake into her mouth somehow.

“It's Snork…” She sighed and sat down, “He's become frustrated with his work again… He can't come up with any ideas…”

“What's he do for a living?” Joxter asked without opening his eyes.

“Oh, he's an engineer, ” Snorkmaiden answered, she hadn't actually noticed the Joxter, “he does a lot of inventing.”

“An engineer you say?” He blinked one eye open then sat up to look at her, he seemed very happy to learn of an engineer, “What's he like working on the most?”

“His flying ship of course, ” She beamed, very proud of how hard her brother works, “Why are you interested, are you an engineer?”

“Oh no, no!” Moominpapa interrupted with a laugh, as he walked into the room “I'm not even sure if Joxter can read!”

Joxter wasn't one for glaring, especially not at people he liked, like Moominpapa, however today he found himself glaring very hard at his dear friend.

“Of course I can read!” He hissed, “I have a degree you know!”

“Again with this degree!” Moominpapa wasn't being mean, he was joking around with the Joxter, “If you really have one, how come we've never seen it?”

“I've left it with Mymble! It's far too cumbersome to carry it around on my travels!” Joxter was sitting up fully and was in a very alert state.

“How convenient.” Moominpapa chuckled, his tone was playful, and he really did mean no harm, but the Joxter did not seem to realize that.

He bit his lip in a way that would keep him from shouting something very nasty and stood up. He pushed his chair in, in a rough manner (he still wanted to be polite, but he was very angry) and stormed right out of Moominhouse. Moominpapa went to the window to watch him leave, he seemed very confused by this before.

“This is hardly the first time that's been joked about, ” he tapped his chin, “and he's always laughed on with us.”

Snufkin started at the door his father left through, then looked back to his friends, who all seemed to share the confusion. Joxter didn't really ever get angry with people, and if he found himself getting really angry he'd excuse himself from the room, and never show how angry he was.

“I'd hate to think that we had been bothering him this whole time with that and he never said anything…” Moominpapa sounded regretful.

Little My turned to her brother and shrugged, “You know, I've seen the degree before, it's hanging on momma's wall, in her room.”

“Really?” Snufkin tilted his head, he didn't think his father was the studious type.

“Yeah, ” she nodded “it's from….” She paused and her face scrunched up as she began to think, “someplace called States-worth University… I think…”

Snufkin looked extremely shocked, and he dropped his fork from his hand. He traveled all around, and he knew a lot of things about all sorts of places, he knew exactly what kind of place States-worth was. He suddenly stood up and began to rush out of the house.

“Where are you going?” Moomintroll called out to him.

“I have to ask my papa something!” Snufkin called back, “I'll return later!”

He hurried across the bridge and along the river bank until he came to his father's campsite, he slid to a stop and caught his breath. Listening carefully. He heard a shuffling inside his father's tent, and he knew Joxter was here.

“Papa?” He walked to the tent's entrance, “Are you there?” He just had to be sure.

There was a long pause before Joxter finally answered with a tired “What…?”

Snufkin sat down outside of the tent, and didn't force his way inside, “Why did you get mad at Moominpappa?”

Joxter frowned and rolled onto his back, staring up at the sky, “I just…. It's only that… well… no, I don't think I can explain it… It's stupid anyway.”

He covered his face with his arm and hoped that Snufkin would be satisfied with that answer.

Snufkin thought about what he wanted to say next, then asked another question, “Did you really do to States-worth University?” He asked, his tone was low.

Joxter sat up quickly and struggled to find a response, he wasn't sure how Snufkin found out about this and he really didn't know what to say. He panicked a little before squeezing his eyes hit and taking a deep breath.

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

“That is one of the most prestigious schools, ever, only extremely well-off families can get in there!” Snufkin said to him, he was shocked before he had thought that Little My had only been messing with him, not telling the truth, but there was the truth all laid out in front of him.

“I know, I know!” Joxter covered his face with his hands and rubbed his eyes.

“How did you go there?” Snufkin pressed, leaning forward a bit.

Joxter opened the flap of his tent, and Snufkin leaned back in surprise, his father looked exhausted, “Fine. I'll tell you… It's your family too I suppose…”

He motioned for Snufkin to come in and Snufkin slowly crawled inside. Sitting across from his sad looking father.

“My parents, your grandparents, were an extremely well off family. Extremely well off.” Joxter sighed and leaned his face on his hand, “Growing up I went to all of the best schools there were, what a coincidence that they were all boarding schools.”

“I see…” Snufkin nodded and glanced around at his father now, it was hard to imagine he had once been rich.

“I never saw much of my mother or father, since every time I graduated from one school, I was shipped off to a new one.” He stared blankly at the ground, scratching marks into the dirt with the hand not supporting his head, “And when I was on break and back home, my parents just dragged me around to every fancy social gathering they could. So they could put me on a pedestal and show off how talented I was.”

Snufkin watched him, he didn't press his father to keep speaking, in fact, he figured Joxter was done there, but when he looked at Joxter's eyes, he saw there was way more that needed to be said.

“They didn't care about me, Snufkin. They just wanted a child that would make their family look good, and when I wasn't exactly what they wanted they….” He trailed off, his hands stopped moving, “they…” He squeezed his eyes shut, he really hadn't told anyone about this, and he found it hard to say, “They… Threw me out… Their own son…” He covered his eyes with his hands and leaned his elbows on his knees. He shook his head.

A silence filled the tent, neither of them knew what they could say. It felt like there was nothing to be said. Snufkin reached over and placed a hand on his papa's hand, suddenly removing Joxter that it was his son he was speaking too. When he lifted his head, Snufkin removed his hand and tried to smile at him.

“I'm sorry…” Joxter shook his head again, his breath was shaky, and he didn't want any of this to show.

“Why are you apologizing?” Snufkin asked perplexed “I'm the one who brought it up. I should apologize to you.”

“No, I'm not apologizing about all of, ” he gestured vaguely around himself, “this! I'm apologizing to you. I should have done it sooner.”

Snufkin still didn't really understand, and it showed on his face. When Joxter vaguely gestured to Snufkin, the confusion remained. Joxter sighed and rubber this face again.

“Your life?” He finally said, and it seemed to click fully for Snufkin on what he was saying.

“No need to apologize for that, I'm very happy!” Snufkin beamed at him.

“You grew up alone. In the woods. With no family.” Joxter reminded him, not that Snufkin really needed reminding, he just didn't want to bring that up.

Snufkin frowned, folding his arms, “Yes. I did. Did it happen on purpose?” He had suddenly turned to a more cold look, worried that his old fears would come true.

“No!” Joxter snapped to look at him, seemingly horrified that Snufkin would suggest that.

“Well, then what happened?”

“I was taking you out for a while, for a camping trip.” He began to explain, “You never liked Mymble's house, it was always too loud for you, so I tried to get you out and about as often as I could.”

He raised an eyebrow, curious as to where he was going with this.

“We were in a small boat on a river, I always liked to find new places to camp.” He smiled fondly at the idea of finding somewhere new to be, the smile faded as he remembered the rest of the story, “The current picked up… I tried to get us out of there, but I couldn't. The boat overturned on a rock, I went under water… And by the time I came up again, I couldn't find anything. Not even the boat.”

Snufkin didn't look so cold anymore, just sad now. He always wanted to know why he didn't grow up in a nice safe home, and of course, he always knew the story wouldn't be a good one, yet still, he wished it had been nicer to hear.

He fiddled with his own hands and stared at the dirt, “Did you look for me?”

“Yes, ” the Joxter closed his eyes, “that's why I didn't go back to the Mymble. I didn't want to ever return until I found you. Then one day the Muddler and Hodgkins found me and said they were going to see Moominpapa and his family, and well, you were there when we showed up.”

Snufkin smiled, “I liked hearing all of Moominpapa's stories about you, but it was much nicer to put a face to your name, papa.”

“Aw, how sweet.” The Joxter said in a joking tone. Then he took a deep breath and laid down, “You know, I haven't actually told anyone about my past, up until you.”

“Why not?” Snufkin asked curiously, though he then realized that he shouldn't pry so much,  he quickly came to the regretful conclusion that he had already pried too much.

Joxter shrugged and found it hard to answer, he searched for a bit before coming to a conclusion, “I guess, I'm afraid…”

“Afraid of what?”

“If everyone knows exactly how I was raised, and that I'm supposed to be fancy and proper, they might get good expectations of me.” His face was serious, “I can't have people expecting me to be decent! Then I can't sleep all day!” his serious look broke away into a huge smile, and he began to laugh.

Snufkin rolled his eyes and laughed a bit too, “Okay, okay, what's the real reason?”

“That is the real reason!” Joxter sat up and looked at him, still with a huge smile on his face, “If people don't expect much from me then I can't ever disappoint them, and they won't ever make me leave!”

Snufkin paused, quickly dissecting that sentence in his head, then looking at the Joxter in surprise. Joxter just shrugged.

“Come on, I'm gonna grab my degree from Mymble's house, so I can rub it in Moominpapa's face!” he quickly left the tent and began marching in the direction on Mymble's house, and Snufkin followed him quickly.

“Papa wait, ” Snufkin grabbed his wrist, and Joxter turned to look at him, “You know none of us will ever send you away right?”

“Yeah of course-”

“We won't.” Snufkin said in a very sad tone, his wanted Joxter to know it and not forget it, “Family doesn't kick family out. A real family will help you and support you. That's what Moominmama's taught me.” He quickly wrapped Joxter in a big hug and squeezed him as tight as he could.

Joxter smiled peacefully and gently hugged Snufkin back, “I know that…”

[kaptainkulak-blog]

5 Secrets Nobody Tells You About Winning His Heart Forever

With regards to gaining a guy to commit to a romance, quite a few women cannot seem to crack the code.

As most of us have noticed, you can get two varieties of men: Behind curtain #1 is definitely the type of man who's positively smitten with his girlfriend - he puts her on a pedestal, treats her like a queen, and destinations her happiness above his own. And behind curtain #2 stands out as the style who's labeled like a "commitment-phobe" - he isn't going to seem to enjoy getting in the relationship, acting as if his dedication is in the involuntary sort.

In fact, a research by Match.com discovered that 95 percent of males openly admit to seeing marriage as one of their ultimate daily life objectives.

So if this can be what 95 percent of them seem to be to want, how can you obtain a guy to commit and essentially fall in take pleasure in with you?

All of it comes right down to how a man views dedication. To a guy, it's like cracking a blend lock; should the numbers will not line up, he'll be emotionally distant and unavailable, as an alternative to all in. He may even come up with numerous one-liner excuses that girls undoubtedly unearth irritating: "I must focus on my career," "I just need room," or, "I'm just not ready to get a romantic relationship correct now."

But these one-liners are not lies. He truly believes what he is saying given that the "numbers" of his commitment code are not lining up.

Put simply, when he says, "I'm just not prepared for any relationship right now," what he truly indicates is, "I'm just not prepared for any romantic relationship with you."

Although it hurts to hear this, comprehending the best way to obtain a man to commit - and why and the way he chooses to finally get the plunge - can save you heartache and make it easier to comprehend males.

The reality is, when he lastly comes across that one woman who creates the appropriate sequence of "numbers" to unlock his dedication mixture, he'll truly feel compelled to hang onto her. He'll commit to a romance considering that he isn't going to just want to danger shedding her.

So, now we know commitment isn't some sort of man allergy. What you really have to do is discover tips on how to crack his dedication code and get your guy to commit - and at some point fall in take pleasure in with you.

Simpler said than accomplished, needless to say, looking at the average guy isn't fantastic at communicating his emotional requirements. That is where I are available in! 

Here are 5 factors guys (will not inform you they) have ahead of they'll commit to a connection and begin to fall in take pleasure in with you.

one. He wants you to desire him.

Certainly one of the keys to discovering tips on how to make your guy satisfied is fundamental, animalistic need. Inside the pit of his stomach, he needs to want you, extended to suit your needs, yearn for you personally. He needs to miss you when you happen to be not close to and he needs to truly feel a pang of lust when he has not observed you for a while. 

This need is created by way of the play of opposites. He'll crave you after which he catches you; he'll miss you and then falls into you; he'll lust to suit your needs and then you'll surrender to him. It truly is the producing as well as release of stress more than and more than yet again.

The way in which you establish this tension is by way of your sexuality - tease him and after that give in, playfully run from him and then make it possible for him to capture you, include levity and spontaneity to his life, give him lustful stares and after that depart the area, send him attractive notes through the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your robust feminine qualities to contrast his significant and calculated masculine nature.

two. He demands your respect.

Respect may be a cardinal virtue; it's the foundation of any partnership that endures and stands the check of time. Respect will help re-ignite a romantic relationship extended after the flame of love and lust has sputtered. A large number of males marry the woman who respects him, even above the girl who loves him.

Males may possibly rest with, speak to, and care regarding the girl they really like (and lust), but quite often really like only is not all they desire.

Many this has to do using the term "I like you." To a guy in addition to a female, this term can have distinct meanings. A man may interpret it as "don't harm me" or maybe "you're trapped." Males see the really enjoy from a lady as a lot more of the commodity than some thing novel.

Needless to say, the words make him feel decent when he hears them, nevertheless they never sing to his soul. Men have crippling inadequacies they silently battle their total lives.

So, determine why you respect your man. What exactly are you proud of him for? What could you acknowledge him for? How will you make him truly feel very good about himself? Then, inform him. Don't inform him just that you love him, tell him why you take pleasure in him.

Another way for you to express your respect is usually to apologize when you have manufactured a mistake or explained a little something incorrect. You (and he) have to make the romance additional crucial than personal egos. When he understands you respect his character, he will let you in deeper, exposing other tender components of his soul wherever he needs healing and help.

3. He needs to truly feel emotionally protected.

The third issue to help keep in thoughts when understanding ways to maintain your man content is his emotional well being. By surrendering your anger, bitterness, or any resentment you may have toward him, you give him safe passage to become vulnerable.

This occurs by you putting your believe in in him. And after that, he can believe in you. You each make it possible for oneself to get vulnerable and that helps a romance job. But for this vulnerability to consider off, ladies generally should be the initiators. Guys are looking for a person to lead them in to the vulnerable abyss.

It happens to be a woman's courage to open up and allow down her guard that inspires men to lay down their psychological shields and chill out.

So how can you do this? Very well, it helps by discovering how men imagine. He has to are aware that you won't judge or criticize him. He needs to come to feel supported, accepted, and encouraged that you're on his side. He must understand that you will not inform your pals or (worse) your mother about any mistakes he helps make. He needs to realize that you will stand up for him when many others say lousy points about him. He must understand that you'll confront any injustices or conditions head-on.

four. He desires you to challenge him.

On the core of just about every man is challenge. Males expand by means of challenge. Challenge speaks to the component of their masculinity that innately tends to make them just want to conquer and win. Challenge stands out as the path guys take to attain good results, which ultimately can make them really feel respected.

Within a nutshell, it extremely comes right down to getting a powerful sense of the personal values - knowing what exactly is vital that you you and standing by it. This produces the challenge that strengthens the connection. A second element of this challenge is having the ability to confront a man when you come to feel like individuals values are compromised.

This may perhaps need you confronting him if you imagine he owes you an apology, as opposed to letting it fall from the wayside. Whenever you can confront him, he'll acquire you extremely interesting. Whether or not his initial reaction is anger, the fact that you possibly can stand as much as him will modify the way in which he seems to be at you. It's going to challenge him for being a greater guy.

five. He has to truly feel awe and wonder. 

The final step in figuring out how you can preserve your guy content is really good, old-fashioned excitement. Even acting a little crazy is usually a superior point; crazy, not insane - skinny-dipping inside the ocean is good, but faking your very own kidnapping simply because he's been doing work also late just isn't.

All too normally, girls are taught to come to feel undesirable about becoming emotional, feeling 'crazy,' and acting unpredictably. But these feminine qualities are actually beautiful to men. Thus, embrace your femininity and enable it to enliven your relationship. This could help a man fall deeper and deeper in enjoy with you.

Whenever you embody your instinctual feminine nature, you produce the space for him to say details like, "There is just a little something about her that I take pleasure in."

Read even more about this right here - 

https://neptunesupport.tumblr.com/post/176938949602/5-tricks-no-person-tells-you-about-winning-his

[smoaking-greenarrow]

All right. I had to weigh in on this because I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Here are my thoughts on the ‘Stephen Amell vs Beyhive’ debacle. Putting it all below the cut because I understand that some people are just here for fandom fun, not politics and discussions about racism, and that’s okay too.

Stephen’s initial tweet 100% sounds like he’s saying “I’m leaving before Beyoncé’s performance to go home and watch this other thing.” Some people added their own “because I don’t like Beyoncé” at the end of that. Others took the tweet as “I hate black people” so you know, it was obviously a very misinterpreted tweet. Stephen tweeted back to a few people that he was simply referring to traffic, which clearly hasn’t been sticking for anyone. How is about traffic? No clue. I don’t get it either. 

Part of the problem is that he wasn’t clear. It was Coachella, I doubt he was sober enough to realize how the tweet would come across. Most of the problem is that people overreacted. Unfortunately, Stephen has a mean streak too, that directly relates to when he feels belittled or attacked. It was a recipe for disaster, is basically what I’m saying.

We’ve probably all met people like this: once offended; walls go up, blinders go on, and they stop looking like the person we know. They get defensive and stop listening.

He’s done this before. Whenever this man is questioned, criticized, or he comes to the conclusion that not everyone loves him... he lashes out, specifically on social media. It’s a flaw of his. We all have them. 

I’m a fan of Stephen. I’m a huge fan of the guy who is passionate about charities, who loves his mama, his daughter and his coworkers, who is humble and grateful to be playing a superhero, and who speaks from his heart. That guy is awesome. He seems super chill and I love following him on social media and watching his videos. He’s that guy 99% of the time, but every once in a while... we get this. You could say there are certain people in his life who he appears to maybe spend a little too much time with and when he does, it brings out the entitled, offensive side of him, but hey. That’s none of my business.

The person I don’t enjoy is the one who claps back at people unnecessarily. All he had to do was say “my tweet was about traffic. What happened was...” and then maybe even add in an “I’m sorry that so many of you misunderstood it, but the response I got was crossing a line. What you all said... IT HURT MY FEELINGS.” Why do some men have such a problem with saying that their feelings were hurt? Ego. The answer is ego. And let’s be real, this dude’s is pretty big.

I honestly feel like what offended him the most were the people who dragged his career. There were multiple people replying with screenshots of his lower-rated movies and using it as a point to say “you want to come after Beyoncé? Really? You?” 

The irony is that most of the people doing this clearly do not know him. Some of them said they stopped watching Arrow years ago. But most of them obviously just did a little googling. Has Stephen been in any blockbusters...? Has he won an emmy? Is his status in the realm of Leonardo DiCaprio, Will Smith, or Tom Hanks? No. That’s just the truth. I do think he’s a wonderful actor and could reach that status someday, but it’s not like the massive network of shows built because of Arrow is anything to turn your nose up at. The guy is successful. He is talented. The people attacking him were just being rude. Absolutely. 

But Stephen felt the need to defend himself when he really shouldn’t have. He didn’t need to. He is wonderful with fans, works really hard, and goes above and beyond as far as expectations of actors is concerned. His actions speak much louder than his tweets do. And he should have left it at that. He seems to struggle with letting go of slights. He seems to have a hard time with criticism. And he doesn’t handle haters very well at all. He stoops to the level of the people criticizing him, and he tends to get very defensive. I hate to make this comparison, but there’s a certain manchild in the oval office of my country who also has a bad habit of lashing out on twitter, has an ego that gets in his way, and even has a fondness for calling everyone who insults him “losers!” Sorry, can’t say that comparison hasn’t popped into my head.

I’m not a stan. Of anything. People are flawed creatures and incredibly complex. All of us. In my opinion, I can still be a fan of someone even if I don’t like or disagree with certain things they do. Celebrities make mistakes, and It’s okay for celebrities to disappoint you. 

Tyler Posey said it better than I can:

“If me, or one of my fellow celebrity friends or whoever is out there in the limelight, if we do something wrong, morally and humanly, don’t respect us for it. It’s nice to stand by somebody’s side that you admire and look up to, but you can’t stand by our side through everything. If we fuck up then we should be treated that way. That’s all I have to say. We’re no better than you. We’re humans, normal humans. And if we mess up, don’t praise us for it.”

You don’t need to attack celebrities, or say anything actually, when they do things you don’t like, but you also don’t need to boost their egos by tweeting them things like “you didn’t do anything wrong!” or “don’t worry about those idiots!” or “It’s okay, you’re perfect and I still love you!” 

Do we understand how problematic this is? Stop putting celebrities on pedestals. Stop making excuses for them. Let them be human, let them learn, and let them grow. Unfortunately, I’m left to wonder if Stephen reads tweets such as these and buys into them (as I’m sure many celebs do). But the plethora of white folks sounding off on Stephen’s tweets with these comments is gross, okay? Gross. 

No, I don’t think he deserved the dragging he received. I was not personally offended by anything he said. But you can’t just ignore that many of the people upset with him were black men and women who felt disappointed that an actor was seemingly discrediting a black artist. A black artist who has made insane strides against racism with her music. Who has been a voice in the sea of whitewashed award shows. Who is now the first black woman to headline Coachella. It’s a big deal. Imagine how things like that can make people feel: hopeful, represented, proud. 

Now imagine some white guy shitting on it. Yeah, those fans got pissed. And yeah, it was a misunderstanding. But it is what it is. Considering everything I just listed above, Stephen probably shouldn’t have tried to get away with an “IF I was dissing Beyoncé...” tweet.

So let’s talk about misunderstandings.

Most recently, Stephen is being criticized for not putting an accent on Beyoncé’s name. I’ll admit, I rolled my eyes to see people getting mad about it. And I also laughed at his response to one of the critics. Because like him, I have never even had to consider moments like this. Wanna know how I found that video? I said to myself, “wow, I’ve never even thought of how that might make someone else feel.” And then I spent some time on google to try to understand. Wild, I know.

Stephen obviously didn’t mean any harm by it, and he didn’t intend to offend anyone. 

Here’s the crazy thing about offending people though; you don’t always get to decide when you’ve done it. If you ever find yourself saying to someone “you have no reason to be offended by what I said,” you might as well just stop there. Because that conversation will not get you anywhere. Some people are easily offended. Sometimes they will have real reasons that seem silly to you, because you haven’t had the same experiences as anyone else. It’s life. Calling him trash for the missing accent? A little much, in my opinion. I definitely thought that was reaching. But it did remind me that unintentionally making racist comments and microaggressions is still wrong and deserves to be discussed. 

 I was with my boyfriend in an art gallery once when an old woman came up to him and touched his hair. She did not ask, she just reached out and felt his hair. Then she said “wow, your hair is so neat! It feels awesome!” My boyfriend sighed, because he got that all the time. He was used to it. I, on the other hand, got more upset than he did, and asked the woman why she thought it was okay to touch a stranger without asking. She looked embarrassed, and kind of just walked away. Was it “latent racism”? Was it her “subtle inclination to dehumanize” him? No. I don’t think so. I don’t think she meant any harm. Was it still a problem? Yes. Did I overreact? Probably. Looking back at it, I wish I hadn’t confronted her in such an accusatory manner, because she probably could have benefited from an open discussion about appropriate behavior and how comments like the one she’d made can, however innocently intended, isolate people and point out their differences in a world where they unfortunately don’t need those reminders.

My point is, I also think that Stephen Amell is a person who can benefit from these conversations. WE ALL CAN.

So, I encourage anyone reading this to check out THIS thread on twitter, which is a response to Stephen’s recent tweets and his own admitted “laziness” over adding that little accent. I learned something from it. So, you know, I hope Stephen finds a moment to read it so he can too. He’s not evil for leaving off an accent, and even though Clarkisha Kent starts out harsh, I hope y’all take the time to look at what she has to say. Things like this are important to consider:

“In addition to this and the assumption that these names are predicated on the most "unsavory" parts of Blackness, your piss poor Shaniqua and Bon Qui Qui jokes don't really land unless the target of these jokes--BW--are actually ashamed of their names.”

Clarkisha breaks down the idea of black names being ridiculed and laughed at, and yes, Stephen’s tweet kicked it off. I don’t care if he’s a saint who can do no wrong in your eyes, I don’t care if you’re a stan. The root of what this woman talks about in her thread is important and enlightening. These are the kinds of things that I wish Stephen would see, take a moment to really think about, and then respond. Yet I can’t help but assume that all he can think is “you were mean, you don’t like me, so you’re a loser!”

To make matters worse, Stephen didn’t reply to this thread. Oh no. Instead, he chose to hash it out with someone from CNN. Because, of course, it makes more sense to address a news source for “personally offending” him than it does to acknowledge the black woman who very clearly and eloquently laid out the problem with his joke.

I’m sorry, but this tweet is infuriating. He’s ignoring a black woman’s thread that prompted the fight he’s trying to start with Jeff Yang. He’s making it about himself, because Jeff called him trash and he feels insulted. BUT THEN he also wants to play the tough guy? The end of this tweet in more direct words sounds a lot like this to me: “you’re not replying to my tweets right now because I’ve intimidated you. You didn’t think the awesome celebrity that I am would actually respond, and now you’re embarrassed.” 

Oh, but let’s talk about the “shift of discourse” that he mentioned. After Jeff called him trash and Stephen offered to come on his podcast...which...ugh... Jeff responded with this:

First of all, let’s stop calling ignorant people trash. Let’s address ignorance through a scope of educating. Let’s leave the hateful comments to the hateful racists that still exist. I’m not saying Stephen or others (including myself since I can be ignorant to things I have not experienced and do not know, too) should be let off the hook. But when you attack someone for being ignorant, they will not see their own ignorance. They won’t see the problem with what they’ve said, they will only see the attack. They will never learn. Because in their eyes, their intentions were good, and you’re the bad guy for getting mad.

I actually loved Jeff’s response to Stephen. It is valid. “Why are you replying to me...and not the black women who you’ve offended and who you should be having this conversation with?” Yet, Stephen still doesn’t get it. That’s the problem. He is still viewing this whole ordeal as a personal attack on his career. 

Tell Anderson.... Tell Anderson Cooper you say... *Imagine Detective Holt screaming “bone” at Diaz voice* Hello? Hello? HELLO!? HeLLLllloOOO!?!? Y’all, this was narcissistic pettiness at it’s finest. Ignores the issue at hand, makes a nod to his celebrity status. The more Stephen tweets about this, the worse it gets. Just stop, buddy. Please. Take a couple days. Take a social media break, like you did after this happened. 

Sometimes we gotta take some time to reflect and calm down before we try to discuss things, especially when we feel defensive. 

I dated a guy once who would get this look in his eye at a certain point, whenever we argued. I just knew he’d checked out. Dude would not even be listening anymore, he’d just repeat the same two things over and over. It was a waste of time trying to argue with a brick wall. If he felt backed into a corner, he didn’t know how else to get out of it besides being cruel enough to make me stop talking. So I had to learn to listen, say my piece, then let it go for a while. He’d need to take a breather, let everything sink in, and then come back to me once he had some time to think. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if that is in fact Stephen’s personality, then this is probably a good time for him to recognize that and adjust his tweeting accordingly.

I think once Jeff Yang realized that Stephen responded to him, he decided to try being respectful. Because at least then, maybe Stephen would hear it and see the truth in what was being said. But Stephen took the shift as “oh, I’m an awesome celebrity and he didn’t think I’d see this, now this guy’s rattled.” 

I do not think Jeff was rattled. I think Jeff wanted Stephen to pay attention to Clarkisha’s tweets, not his. And Stephen’s ego is unfortunately convincing him that this is all about him. He responded to Jeff because he noticed that Jeff works in the media. It was a shallow choice, and a shallow response. Sorry, not sorry.

Steve- he was politely telling you to shut up and listen, and I must kindly echo that statement.

[piss-sip-blog]

5 Secrets and techniques No person Tells You About Winning His Heart Forever

On the subject of acquiring a guy to commit to a partnership, many gals can't seem to be to crack the code.

As many of us have noticed, you can find two forms of men: Behind curtain #1 may be the variety of man who's completely smitten with his girlfriend - he puts her on a pedestal, treats her like a queen, and places her happiness above his very own. And behind curtain #2 would be the type who's labeled as being a "commitment-phobe" - he does not appear to delight in becoming within a relationship, acting as if his dedication is within the involuntary form.

In reality, a review by Match.com found that 95 % of men openly admit to seeing marriage as among their greatest daily life goals.

So if this is often what 95 % of them seem to be to want, how will you obtain a man to commit and in reality fall in really like with you?

All of it comes down to how a man views commitment. To a guy, it really is like cracking a mixture lock; if the numbers do not line up, he'll be emotionally distant and unavailable, rather than all in. He would possibly even come up with quite a few one-liner excuses that females undoubtedly acquire aggravating: "I really need to focus on my profession," "I just will need room," or, "I'm just not prepared for a romantic relationship correct now."

But these one-liners are not lies. He truly believes what he is saying given that the "numbers" of his commitment code aren't lining up.

Quite simply, when he says, "I'm just not ready for any partnership proper now," what he actually usually means is, "I'm just not prepared to get a connection with you."

Even though it hurts to hear this, comprehending the way to get a guy to commit - and why and how he chooses to lastly take the plunge - can save you heartache and help you to appreciate males.

The truth is, when he last but not least comes across that a single female who generates the suitable sequence of "numbers" to unlock his dedication combination, he'll feel compelled to hang onto her. He'll commit to a partnership simply because he does not prefer to threat dropping her.

So, now we know dedication is not some sort of guy allergy. Everything you have to do is study tips on how to crack his dedication code and get your guy to commit - and at some point fall in really like with you.

Less difficult explained than performed, not surprisingly, thinking of the average man is not great at communicating his emotional requires. Which is wherever I can be found in! 

Here are five items guys (will not let you know they) have prior to they'll commit to a relationship and begin to fall in take pleasure in with you.

1. He wants you to wish him.

Certainly one of the keys to learning how to make your guy completely happy is fundamental, animalistic desire. From the pit of his abdomen, he has to want you, long for you, yearn for you personally. He has to miss you when you are not all-around and he has to truly feel a pang of lust when he has not witnessed you for some time. 

This want is made as a result of the perform of opposites. He'll crave you and then he catches you; he'll miss you and then falls into you; he'll lust for you and then you may surrender to him. It's the producing and also the release of tension over and more than once again.

The way in which you generate this stress is by your sexuality - tease him and then give in, playfully run from him and after that make it possible for him to capture you, add levity and spontaneity to his life, give him lustful stares and then leave the room, send him attractive notes during the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your powerful feminine attributes to contrast his truly serious and calculated masculine nature.

2. He needs your respect.

Respect is often a cardinal virtue; it's the basis of any partnership that endures and stands the check of time. Respect can assist re-ignite a partnership prolonged following the flame of take pleasure in and lust has sputtered. Countless guys marry the girl who respects him, even more than the female who loves him.

Men may rest with, talk to, and care concerning the lady they really like (and lust), but commonly really like only is not all they desire.

A lot of this must do with the phrase "I like you." To a man along with a lady, this phrase can have unique meanings. A man may perhaps interpret it as "don't harm me" and even "you're trapped." Males see the enjoy from a woman as far more of a commodity than something novel.

In fact, the words make him feel beneficial when he hears them, nevertheless they don't sing to his soul. Guys have crippling inadequacies they silently battle their entire lives.

So, discover why you respect your guy. What are you proud of him for? What could you acknowledge him for? How will you make him really feel beneficial about himself? Then, tell him. Don't tell him merely you adore him, tell him why you really like him.

Yet another approach to express your respect will be to apologize when you've created a mistake or said something wrong. You (and he) must make the connection far more vital than personal egos. When he knows you respect his character, he will let you in deeper, exposing other tender elements of his soul where he requirements healing and support.

three. He has to come to feel emotionally risk-free.

The third thing to maintain in thoughts when knowing the way to retain your guy joyful is his emotional health. By surrendering your anger, bitterness, or any resentment you have towards him, you give him secure passage to be vulnerable.

This comes about by you placing your believe in in him. Then, he can trust you. You each let your self to get vulnerable and that aids a romance job. But for this vulnerability to consider off, girls typically should be the initiators. Men are looking for another person to lead them in to the vulnerable abyss.

Its a woman's courage to open up and allow down her guard that inspires guys to lay down their psychological shields and unwind.

So how can you do that? Nicely, it aids by studying how men suppose. He needs to are aware that you won't judge or criticize him. He needs to feel supported, accepted, and encouraged that you're on his side. He has to realize that you will not inform your friends or (worse) your mom about any mistakes he can make. He has to are aware that you are going to stand up for him when other folks say undesirable details about him. He must realize that you may confront any injustices or conditions head-on.

4. He desires you to challenge him.

With the core of each guy is challenge. Guys develop by challenge. Challenge speaks towards the element of their masculinity that innately makes them want to conquer and win. Challenge would be the path men get to achieve accomplishment, which ultimately makes them come to feel respected.

In the nutshell, it extremely comes down to possessing a strong sense of one's own values - being aware of what is important to you and standing by it. This creates the challenge that strengthens the romance. An alternative component of this challenge is being able to confront a guy when you come to feel like those values are compromised.

This may possibly need you confronting him any time you think he owes you an apology, in lieu of letting it fall by the wayside. As you can confront him, he'll uncover you amazingly desirable. Even if his primary reaction is anger, the fact that you're able to stand as much as him will alter the way in which he seems to be at you. It can challenge him to get a better man.

five. He needs to come to feel awe and wonder. 

The last phase in understanding how you can preserve your guy content is excellent, old-fashioned excitement. Even acting somewhat crazy can be a very good thing; crazy, not insane - skinny-dipping during the ocean is very good, but faking your personal kidnapping as a result of he's been doing work also late isn't.

All too normally, women are taught to really feel undesirable about currently being emotional, feeling 'crazy,' and acting unpredictably. But these feminine qualities are basically interesting to males. So, embrace your femininity and make it possible for it to enliven your relationship. This may enable a guy fall deeper and deeper in take pleasure in with you.

After you embody your instinctual feminine nature, you make the space for him to say matters like, "There is just anything about her that I appreciate."

Go through even more about this here - 

https://greetingstoeveryone.tumblr.com/post/176705999189/five-secrets-nobody-tells-you-about-winning-his

[ghostphilia]

DP x Fallout Crossover: Ch 2

Chapter 1 here

Nora Taylor used to practice law before all this. She hadn’t been in the game in a while, but she was going to come back after Shaun’s birth. She was going to defend the rights of the people in a country that kept trampling them by selling the individual to corporations and using war as an excuse. She was going to make a change in society, and she was going to protect the weak, and she was going to raise a beautiful, smart, young boy with Nate, the love of her life. Yeah right.

She couldn’t help but let a loud laugh course through her whole body as she went through her thoughts, standing at the edge of the glowing sea. Nick Valentine was beside her, silent and eyeing her thoroughly, but not looking an inch more surprised than usual. He was used to Nora’s chagrin. He wasn’t quite as human as everyone else around him, but he would have eaten his mangled Stetson hat if he didn’t know Nora like the back of his trench coat by now. The lass had increasingly become more and more haunting since the day she had first stepped foot in his office with an impossible request. He couldn’t even fathom what kind of mental process one had to go through to shift from loving mother in a (relatively) tender world to one of the most ruthless, dangerous wastelanders currently in the commonwealth, but for Nora to make the cut, something had to have broken up or fizzled out in the central processing unit. Not that it didn’t make her any less good of a friend, or human being, no. Just a little trigger-happy and with the occasional psychotic outburst.

 Nora knew what nick was thinking whenever he gave her the long looks. She chuckled, seemingly unparsed by her own inner misery.

 “Ready to get out there again Nick? Haven’t set foot in this place in a while, didn’t really have much of an excuse to visit since our friend Virgil went all human again, I forgot how charming it was.” She chuckled again, hysterically. Nick kept being silent, near her, waiting her to calm down. She exhaled, and ran a hand through dirty, short red hair “All right all right, sorry for the little show there, it’s just been, what, one year? Wow.” She exhaled, composing herself inside her rad-resistant power armour. Nick nodded, making a small underhanded but affectionate comment about loosing screws. She didn’t need to specify. It had been one year since the both of them had traveled all the way into the glowing sea to find Virgil, a super mutant scientist. In a few weeks time, it would have been one year since she destroyed the institute, and murdered her own son.

 They were off to the glowing sea on a mission from the minutemen, a now growing force for good within the commonwealth. Nora hadn’t taken the position of leadership Preston had offered her, but she still helped out from time to time, made sure the group didn’t mess around again like before. She trusted Preston, but the guy was still way too emotional to handle things on his own.

 There had been a suddenly huge afflux of children of atom pilgrims, coming from all sides or the commonwealth and beyond, converging into the place of worship Nora understood as ground zero, Atom’s Crater. Most of them were harmless, but many had disrupted commonwealth settlements by acting violent towards non-believers, or bringing in radiation. Some brought with them chained glowing ones as offerings and items of worship, and more than a few times those ghouls had gotten loose, ending up in a bloodbath and a lot of radiation poisoning. Nora had dealt with the children before, and had found them mostly harmless, but these numbers had started to make her worried. The crazy worshippers might be weak from radiation sickness half the time, and hallucinating the other half, but now they were crazy and with an army, one that was hard to fight, since it was located in a place most people would be mad to even try to approach.

 She had popped her helmet on and moved forwards. They had traded a few essential quips as they moved inside the green storm. At the end of a day’s walk, something would shut both of their mouths entirely.

 The crater of Atom wasn’t just a crater any longer. It was a small town. She couldn’t even fathom where the children were able to scavenge that many supplies within a radioactive desert, but there it was… If these people hadn’t multiple times proved to be completely insane, she would have even felt some sort of awe, or innate respect, for what they were able to accomplish.

 Two men had stopped them in front of some sort of gates. They had erected a wall around the town borders, which Nora assumed wasn’t to protect from fellow men, since the only people roaming the glowing sea were the children themselves. Deathclaws, on the other hand, might’ve been increasingly attracted by the growing populace.

 “Hail Atom, travelers. You come to worship his holy vessel?”

 Nick and Nora had given each other a quick comedic glance.

 “We’ve come to meet with your leader, Mother Isolde. They know me, We’ve met a year ago. Although… she’s never really said anything about a holy vessel? What, has she been up somebody’s pants lately? Cause if so good for her.” Nora added commented in a half sarcastic tone. The guard dislodged him mandible, looking personally affronted.

 “Would you dare speak heresy against the mother and holy vessel? Atoms fury will rain upon all that..”

 He was stopped by Nick Valentine’s loud, raspy groan.

 “Remind me of why I travel with you again?”  He said, his voice grouchier than usual as he stepped up in front of Nora, trying to hide her as much as possible

 “Look Buddy, you’ve got to forgive my partner here, she talks a big mouth but could probably use a bit of atoms wisdom.” He put extra stress on the last part, turning around to glare at her. “You see, me and my partner here don’t mean you guys and your god no harm. We are just here to trade a few words with the good mother, representing the minutemen. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this many children out in the commonwealth, and since we are neighbours and all I think we oughta figure out a way to help each other, don’t you?”

 “As far as I’m concerned heretics like you should be banned from the holy site.” The guard hissed. “But we shall see what Mother has to say.” He nudged his head towards his radiation blaster, then motioned at the duo to follow him through the gates.

 Not everyone in the village looked like the usual children of atom worshipper. Some seemed to be new, and had just begun loosing their hair. Some were actual children, which made Nora’s stomach turn in disgust. Children had no way of making a crazy religious choice for themselves. Were these guys recruiting orphans and sending them to their deaths?

 “I’ve seen some of these people before, in the commonwealth. Pretty bold move to choose to leave everything behind for this.” Nick had commented off handedly as they approached the center of the crater, giving nora the quick glance that usually meant he suspected something rotten. Nora couldn’t be more inclined to agree. These ‘new people’ seemed to be there of their own will, but why such a sudden conversion to such a crazy religion. This village had walls now. They might have kept bad things out, but they could also hold things in. Did it have to do with something this.. vessel.. the guard was talking about.

 “Atom’s will is great, and he has blessed us with a grand gift. Even the stubborn nonbelievers can now see into his glory. Look for yourself.” The guard added smugly, as they approached the central crater.

 Surrounded by dozens of men and women in prayer, was a pool of radioactive water Nora was familiar with. What she wasn’t familiar with was the pedestal of glowing trinkets at its center, upholding something that was objectively just plain weird.

 It was the most vivid blue crystal she had ever seen. She would almost have confused it for ice if not for the fact that she hadn’t seen actual ice ever since she’d gotten out of her cryo-pod and that, well, the crystal seemed to be glowing. The most stunning thing though, was not the glow in the ice itself, but the bright, ethereal white light, outlining a human figure, trapped inside the crystalline obelisk.

 “Behold, foreigners, Atoms holy corpse. That is the vessel all here come to worship.” The guard phrased slowly, stopping in his step reverently. “You will be quiet and wait now, for Mother Isolde is about to give a sermon. We will meet her as she is finished.”

 Nora remembered Isolde. She had looked humble, crazy of course, but reasonable enough. That was not the way she looked now, as she walked out of a balcony, above ‘the relic’. What she looked now, was possessed. It was as if something within that glowing crystal had caused her to snap, well, snap more than she had already snapped before. Nora had been on the brink of loosing it a few times herself, and quite frankly, seeing Isolde’s face like that was driving it home a little too much.

 As she had reached the edge of the balcony, she had raised her hands to the sky, her long green robes flowing across her arms like wings. The whole town had quieted down, leaving only the sound of a few chants lost in the radioactive wind.

 “Six months ago, dear children, a few of our devoted found the Holy Vessel within the glowing pools of the west”

  “Six Months ago, we were lost in his glow, dear children, we were asking for his love. We were battling the non-believers, suffering to prove our faith. But we were unseen, unconnected, unloved. Yet fret not, for Atom is great, and his love infinite. For now, Atom has found us!”

 She paused, looking towards the sky, and lowering her arms onto the crowd.

 “Six months ago, I have gazed into Atom’s endless green eyes. Atom himself showed me a vision, through his body. He has given us a great gift, and bestowed upon us a great duty. For he will descend upon the earth, and he shall descend within this vessel. Dear children Atom wishes to live among us. Together, he wills to guide us through Division. Thus we must worship him, until he is resurrected. We must worship him and sacrifice for him, so that he may walk amongst us.”

 At this point, Isolde was visibly shaking.

 “He has spoken to me. He feeds on our feelings, asks for our pain, and we must answer to him. Each day we must. None will be like us in history. We are Atom’s chosen! We shall worship him, we shall save him, and he will save us!”

 And with that, she lifted some form of staff into the air, and the crowd exploded in a huge roar.

 “Tomorrow, we begin the ritual of awakening. Bless you All! May Atom be with you!” She erupted madly, retreating away from the balcony. The crowd remained in unrest, chanting furiously and making noise. The guard escorting Nora and Nick grabbed both of their arms to make sure they would not escape in the chaos, and led them towards the main hub. After waiting for a small time in a separate room, Nora was asked to step out of her power armour. Radiation levels seemed to be lower in the crater, and she didn’t want to start shooting just yet, so she begrudgingly accepted after popping a few pills of Rad-X. They were lead into the Mother’s residence. She awaited them while sitting. Meditating.

 “Welcome, wanderers” She smiled, politely facing them. “I see we have met before, you vanquished the heretic for us, way back. Brother Adam here tells me you have come to bargain for the Minutemen. How lucky for you to be here again, at such a great time of our lord’s awakening.”

 “Well that’s a way of putting it” Nick mumbled in the back.

 Nora stared down at Isolde. “Lady I have about a million questions more at this point that have absolutely nothing to do with what Preston asked me to do, but yes, let’s just say I’ve come to bargain.” She crouched down in front of her, relaxing, completely ignoring the tension in the room.

 “I see you’ve been stacking up quite a community here. Odd place to be at but hey, you guys seem to immune to this stuff, so good for you. Us ‘normal’…” She wiggled her fingers as if to say she was not normal at all “…people in the commonwealth though… well, let’s just say some of us don’t like all this radiation flying around? Some of your caravans have been harming our settlements, and well, we don’t really want to start preparing defenses against them if we can help it. We’d rather come to some form of agreement with your pilgrims, you feel? They stay away from our territories, and we make sure the roads to the glowing sea are safe to travel.  We could also exchange trades while we are at it. That’s just one of a few ideas.” She smirked.

 Isolde, oddly enough, seemed to be matching Nora’s smirk. Except for the mad glint in one of her eyes.

 “These seem all excellent ideas my child, but I am afraid they will have to wait. Tomorrow is a great day for our community, and none can tell what shall come after it, except for Atom himself”

 “Yeah, about that, what the fucking hell.. mmhph..”

 “I suppose what my partner is trying to say here.” Nick interceded again, at this point just plain used to it. “Is that we were surprised at how much your community has grown. We’ve also managed to see the relic, and hear your speech, and were wondering more about it.”

 “Ah, so Atoms glow has drawn you in. Not to worry, all can take his path to division, even those lacking human flesh.” She eyed him and smiled, ignoring Nick’s pronounced frown. “There is not much more I can say that my speech has not already revealed. All questions will be answered tomorrow. Atom has spoken to me, through his eyes I’ve seen what to do to bring him into this world, and I have chosen to serve him. He is close to resurrection, and tomorrow, he will walk amongst us.”

 Nora shifted on her feet. She didn’t like this. There was no way the children would resurrect their god, but whatever was going to happen, it couldn’t be pretty, and, well, if she could help it she didn’t wanna be anywhere around it.

 Except for…

 The children she had seen, among the crowd… Could she abandon them? It would be that easy now, after what she’d done, wouldn’t it?

 “Of course you’re welcome to stay for the ritual. We may continue our discussion after. Our brothers will prepare your loungings. You must leave me know, I have much to meditate on”

 A few reveries later, and a few question that Isolde kept outright dodging, they were brought to a separate room and left alone, asked to wait as the guard would bring back Nora’s power armour.

 They had been silent with each other, waiting for one to break the ice.

 “Nick..” Nora mumbled under her breath

 “Oh thank the railroad, I thought you were just gonna let me do the talking.” He whispered back.

 “You’ve been great at it so far, constantly interrupting me and everything”

 “You’re a real piece of work you know? I don’t know if you noticed here boss, but these people are straight up insane, and now they seem to think their god will walk on earth. I don’t like lying just as much as you, but I can omit a few personal opinions if it gets my gears still grinding underneath my trenchcoat.”

 “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You know what we have to do, right?”

 “My best guess at this point is that you first chose to run away with your tail between your legs, figuring that these people would accidentally blow themselves up, and then saw the obviously kidnapped children and took a 180 degree angle turn.”

 “You know me so well.”

 “So are we rescuing the children and the new recruits? Do we even know if they are here by force?”

 “Well, we could always talk to them and find out. Maybe they know what this ritual even is in the first place. Also, what did you think of that.. thing. That was just weird right?”

 “Don’t tell me you believe in that pigeon’s milk. It’s probably some rad infused crystal that happened to look like there’s a fella inside it. There’s lotsa weird stuff like that happening in the world.”

 “…You’re probably right. Probably also what drove the Mother insane. Gosh Nick this is a mess.”

 “You’re telling me, you got my work cut out for me. By the way, we should watch out while we are out in the crater. If some of these people were actually kidnapped, the dear Mother might definitely have sent some goons to babysit us. They could strike at any m…”

 Nick’s voice fizzled out, his golden eyes turning off. A small electrical device had been lodged in his back, seemingly shorting out his power. Nora turned as fast as she could, but a long sharp needle stabbed her near her neck juncture, and things gradually.. gradually turned to black.

[parchment-and-petrichor]

Look, publishing community. We need to talk.

About ten years ago, you let the Twilight series take over the world, and with it, naive young girls’ belief that overly protective stalker boyfriends were something to strive for. Since the series’ completion, readers and moviegoers alike have vowed to do better. We hoped to put these toxic ideals behind us with every conversation we had about the problematic nature of Stephenie Meyer’s books. We hoped in doing so, we could finally move forward to read and support more wholesome, meaningful content.

Yet somehow, you chose to invest your money in Sarah J. Maas, and unleashed a whole new, far worse beast upon the world.

Why are we still letting toxic romances dominate the YA genre? Have we learned nothing from the likes of Meyer at all?

Let’s take a step back for a moment. As with her first series, Throne of Glass, Sarah J. Maas set out to write another fairy tale retelling in her latest A Court of Thorns and Roses series. By the time Mist and Fury begins, we’ve all but cast the Beauty and the Beast pretence to the wind. In perhaps the most dull first third of any novel, Feyre is suffering extreme depression and PTSD following the trauma incurred at Amarantha’s wrath. I am wholeheartedly here for portrayals of PTSD in YA. In fact, I encourage it. And given how much of a non-entity it is in Throne of Glass following Celaena’s pre-series traumas, this almost seems like an improvement on Maas’ part. But not when it goes on and on and on for 200 pages. Reading about any protagonist moping in self-pity is a 50-page deal at most. I get we’re supposed to see Feyre’s lack of self-worth at the start of this novel. I get that her trajectory is clearly one of her realising her value and gaining empowerment. Fine. But you can tell that story in 150 less pages. Believe me, as someone who has opened a novel with significant scenes of abuse and trauma, I know what it means to cut back. It pays to trust your reader and rein it in sometimes.

Which comes to one of the most blatant transgressions Maas commits: her lack of editing. Sure, at this point, she’s kind of well-known for her signature long sequels. But larger word counts do not good writing make. This novel could have easily been a solid 400 pages without the faffing about she does in the beginning.

There are some books that really excel in being split into distinct acts. Separating segments via setting or plot shifts can really solidify the narrative, but Maas’ acts can be separated out according to isolated moments sliding along a scale of boring, great, horrifying, and dire. Which is not what you want out of a narrative arc.

I actually thoroughly enjoyed the middle of this novel. For 200 pages, it seems like Maas has begun to atone for all her grievous harm done in her previous works. She introduces some interesting female characters for Feyre to befriend. The friend dynamic of Rhysand’s council is easily one of the strengths of the series and I wish she could have introduced them by the end of the first book. Amren in particular is a fascinating character, who, for a hot second, seems like she might kick some ass in a dark, ruthless, gory kind of way. She and Feyre have a great scene where they’re given permission to go out on a mission and be badass. I was excited to see where this would go and I looked forward to seeing these new battle sisters doing some serious damage together. Unfortunately, there are once more, long interludes where Amren keeps herself locked up, decoding things while the others go out and do the exciting stuff. Until the climax of the novel, the best, most dynamic addition to the cast has been shafted. As are all of the female characters in this series.

Here’s the thing.

For the most part, I like the girls in this book. At face value, they’re great. Nesta, Amren, Mor, and Feyre could all hold their own in battle as easily as they could all have a slumber-party style ki-ki over wine together. But the patriarchal world they’re placed in does no favours for them. Maas’ faerie world is build up by patriarchal traditions, where the men are led by their territorial, violent animal instincts:

“What’s normal?” I said.

… “The … frenzy … When a couple accepts the mating bond, it’s … overwhelming. Again, harkening back to the beasts we once were. Probably something about ensuring the female is impregnated. … Some couples don’t leave the house for a week. Males get so volatile that it can be dangerous for them to be in public, anyway. I’ve seen males of reason and education shatter a room because another male looked too long in their mate’s direction too soon after they’ve been mated.”

This hyper-masculine tradition also happens to heavily feature treating women like commodities they can use and throw away whenever they like. Rhysand, a character Maas tries so hard to pass off as a celebrated feminist, even tells Feyre in the heat of passion that, “I want you splayed out on the table like my own personal feast”. Every single one of Maas’ male characters, including, and especially Rhys, is a product of this tradition. But instead of engaging with commentary about how toxic such a worldview is, Maas just lets her characters carry on in this reality without consequence, self-awareness, or rebellion against it, as can be seen by Rhys’ explanation of women’s place in the kitchen, and Feyre’s subsequent acquiescence to that role as Rhys' partner:

“It’s an … important moment when a female offers her mate food. It goes back to whatever beasts we were a long, long time ago. But it still matters. The first time matters. Some mated pairs will make an occasion of it– throwing a party just so the female can formally offer her mate food … But it means that the female … accepts the bond.”

This old-fashioned, dare I say, archaic misogynistic ideal is just treated as the norm, effectively cementing every other male fantasy writer’s depiction of patriarchal societies as the ultimate world-building feature of the genre.

I don’t know what Maas is thinking, but whatever it is, it’s not cute.

Why are we still putting fantasies set in patriarchal worlds on such a high pedestal? It’s fantasy! What’s more, it’s 2017! You can’t tell me it’s more realistic to write a patriarchal society than literally any other kind in a fantasy world. When Maas, a woman writer creating her own world from scratch, has the chance to do whatever she wants, this is what she gives us?

One of the most horrifying scenes in A Court of Thorns and Roses (which is also shockingly overlooked) is Rhysand drugging Feyre and turning her into his slave whore without her consent. Maas sweeps this under the rug with a quick explanation that is all justified to a.) save Rhys’ fearsome reputation among the other realms, and b.) protect Feyre from the horrors of Amarantha’s kingdom. Just when I thought this particular plot was given its much needed closure (shut it down, Sarah. Shut it down right now!), the slave whore plot rears its ugly head again:

“I had heard the rumours, and I didn’t quite believe him.” [Keir’s] gaze settled on me, on my breasts, peaked through the folds of my dress, of my legs, spread wider than they’d been minutes before, and Rhys’ hand in dangerous territory. “But it seems true: Tamlin’s pet is now owned by another master.”

“You should see how I make her beg,” Rhys murmured, nudging my neck with his nose.

Keir clasped his hands behind his back. “I assume you brought her to make a statement.”

“You know everything I do is a statement.”

The only difference is, Feyre’s aware and consenting this time. Still, the skimpy dress and incredibly graphic touching on Rhys’ part all in the name of creating a diversion isn’t good enough to justify his actions. Rhysand’s created a thinly-veiled excuse to once again, objectify Feyre, touch her inappropriately in front of everyone, and lay claim to her when she’s not his to claim:

“Try not to let it go to your head.”

…I … said with midnight smoothness, “What?”

Rhys’ breath caressed my ear, the twin to the breath he’d brushed against it merely an hour ago in the skies. “That every male in here is contemplating what they’d be willing to give up in order to get that pretty, red mouth of yours on them.”

…His hand slid higher up my thigh, the proprietary touch of a male who knew he owned someone body and soul.

His eyes on the Steward, Rhys made vague nods every now and then. While his fingers continued their slow, steady stroking on my thighs, rising higher with every pass.

People were watching. Even as they drank and ate, even as some danced in small circles, people were watching. I was sitting in his lap, his own personal plaything, his every touch visible to them.

This isn’t romantic, this isn’t sexy, and it’s straight up not okay!

At what point did this series just turn into a horrific Princes Leia/Jabba the Hut smutfic? I know the only ones imagining what it might’ve been like had Leia been chained to Sexy McSexMachine instead of a giant blob are usually the pervy weirdos. Meaning no one in their right minds would want that mental image. Absolutely no one. In fact, the moment that image popped into my head, the final implosion of Rhys and Feyre’s sexual tension was made all the more cringe-worthy. There’s a reason Carrie Fisher spoke so strongly against Jabba and the gold bikini. She knew what it meant to be objectified, something Maas does not succeed in exploiting with Rhys’ choice to put Feyre in these skimpy outfits not once, but twice in this series. While yes, putting her in these outfits is ultimately a con-game, why should he be lauded for still playing by patriarchal rules in the first place? Shouldn’t the correct course of action be to break down those gender barriers?

All I have left to say about that is, I’m sorry, Sarah. You wrote that Leia/Jabba fanfiction. You made your bed. Now lie in it.

I suppose it’s about time to address the elephant in the room: Rhys. Oh boy… I don’t know how someone can pull together a character’s development so offensively, but Maas somehow wins the prize. He spends the entire first book as a lackey to the villain, doing the best he can to humiliate and emotionally manipulate Feyre. Now, we’re expected to believe he’s not only Feyre’s true love (oh, sorry… mate), but a feminist icon? I’m sorry. No. Did we already forget that he drugged her and made her dance for him in Leia’s gold bikini? It happened. I’m not about to let people forget it…

Readers fall all over themselves over him for coming to Feyre’s rescue when she begs to be saved from her wedding to Tamlin. On the surface, he’s set up to directly juxtapose Tamlin’s controlling over-protectiveness by letting Feyre do whatever she likes. Yet there’s still an unhealthy amount of Rhys manipulating situations in order to do what he feels is best for her. Not what Feyre thinks is best for herself, but what he thinks is best. Every single decision Feyre makes is based on Rhys’ influence. Nothing she does is for herself. By making Rhysand’s word law, Maas effectively strips Feyre of her agency, ironically, the one thing Rhys has attempted to help her regain in the first place.

What’s more, I don’t know who any of these characters are outside of their relation to Rhysand. They all revolve around him, because in Maas’ paraphrased words, he’s the most beautiful, powerful, strongest male in the kingdom. I honestly don’t need this overcompensation to make up for how toxic he is as a person. Not to mention, his male friends are nothing but carbon copies of him. Cassian and Azriel share his colouring and Ilyrian wings. I’ve seen plenty of fanart out there depicting the full cast of characters and I can never tell one male character from the another, nor one female character from another. The men (Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand) are handsome and dark haired, the women (Feyre, Nesta, Elain, and Mor), beautiful and blonde. Again, the only stand-out is Amren, who is woefully underrepresented and poorly used in the novel. When you have a white cookie cutter template for every character in your patriarchal world, you’ve gotta step outside your box to deliver some diversity at some point. Otherwise, everything’s just vanilla with a side of racism.

If you think Rhys is the only male character abusing women in this novel, you would be dead wrong. Every single female character in this series has an honestly triggering backstory involving rape, whether emotional or physical. This novel is undoubtedly the sort of thing that should come with a warning. I’ve seen copies with warnings that the series is not suitable for young readers on the back cover, but it’s both irresponsible to then market it as YA, and not discuss rape and abuse responsibly. In fact, given how frequently Maas uses the rape card and how non-existent any discourse concerning the consequences is, I’d say this is a dire case of romanticising rape. And I’m tired of seeing readers obsessing over series like these en masse. It's doing nothing but perpetuating rape culture.

Mor in particular has a brutal rape backstory. This is made all the more upsetting by how eager her father is to sell her off to the highest bidder, and her desperation to lose her virginity on her own terms:

“I wanted Cassian to be the one who did it. I wanted to choose … Rhys came back the next morning, and when he learned what had happened … He and Cassian … I’ve never seen them fight like that. Hopefully I never will again.I know Rhys wasn’t pissed about my virginity, but rather the danger that losing it had put me in. Azriel was even angrier about it–though he let Rhys do the walloping. They knew what my family would do for debasing myself.”

“I wanted my first time to be with one of the legendary Illyrian warriors. I wanted to lie with the greatest of Illyrian warriors, actually. And I’d taken one look at Cassian and known. … He just wants what he can’t have, and it’s irritated him for centuries that I walked away and never looked back.”

“Oh, it drives him insane,” Rhys said from behind me.

What’s worrying here is that while the men are praised for playing the patriarchal system to protect their women, female characters like Mor aren’t shown the same respect for protecting themselves. Mor’s entire character arc is punishment for her female sexuality, kept completely out of her control. Not once does a female character speak out against her sexual abuse, nor do they seek justice for it.

In a recent interview, Maas has stated that she only writes sex scenes if they further the plot. When literally everyone’s backstory hinges on sex, whether consensual or otherwise, I find that doubtful. If there’s one positive thing i’ll say about Maas, it’s that i’m glad she’s leading the charge for sex-positive female characters. But empowering are these characters really, when they’re defined by their desirability to men and their past sexual traumas? Sure, Feyre has sexual agency, but what else does she have? Especially in a patriarchal world where this is expected of her, and she doesn’t even use this “power” to her advantage…

Look, I’m glad Feyre’s getting pleasured the way she wants it, when she wants it, and the detailed depiction of her sexual stimulation might help girls become more aware of their own bodies and sexuality. But when this is the highest profile series featuring female sexuality in the YA market right now, what kind of example are we really setting here?

Feminism doesn’t begin and end with sexual expression. It’s more than that and Maas’ characters have to join that fight. Especially given it’s one of the highest selling fantasy series in the market right now. Sarah J. Maas is not the feminist role model we need for this generation of girls.

We need more than this.

In short, I’m absolutely shocked and appalled that so many people blindly gave this book 4 and 5 stars. Even those who acknowledge how problematic Maas’ writing is. Is it really worth overlooking blatant normalised rape culture to call something your favourite series? As I said from the outset, we’ve already been there with Twilight. An entire generation of girls fell head over heels for Edward Cullen, a 100+ year old stalker who dictated Bella Swan’s ever action and motivation. Now, here we are again, encouraging a new generation of teens to swoon over this sexy, emotionally manipulative product of rape culture, without any acknowledgement of the consequences.

We need to do better. Starting with readers. Starting with authors. Starting with publishers.

It’s time to hold ourselves accountable for the content we praise and allow kids to read. Because toxic masculinity and rape culture are not values to uphold. We live in a world where the President of the United States can brag about grabbing women by the pussy without recourse. Where old, white men are constantly dictating women’s reproductive rights. Where women are catcalled in the streets and victim blamed for the clothes they wear. Where girls can’t even go out at night on their own without the threat of sexual assault.

Is this really what we want to teach our daughters, sisters, students, friends? That it’s okay, to allow passing men to objectify us, just because they have power over us?

Listen, girls. This is the thing: men have power over us so long as we give it to them. So long as we keep laying down and accepting that we’re weak and in need of defending, they’ll keep doing it. And people like Sarah J. Maas will keep holding to those gender expectations. They’ll keep defining romantic ideals based on hyper-masculine overprotective, possessive men.

It’s up to us to redefine romantic ideals. To tear down toxic masculinity and uplift healthy, equal relationships based on mutual respect.

Because you’re worth so much more than that. You deserve better than Rhysand. Align yourself with people who value you for who you are and not just your body. Listen to them when they praise you for your talents. Accept their recommendations when they stumble across media showcasing aspirational women rising above the status quo. You are more than just an object holding a man’s attention. You are yourself and you deserve the world.

Look beyond the smokescreen of Sarah J. Maas’ works and aspire to be something more.

[pluvihelion]

HEADCANON: LANCE’S BEHAVIOR  (1/??)

so in lieu to going through many salt posts , blogs , and seeing lots of things that kinda made me question things . . .  i’ve determined that i'm making my lance  canon divergent .   and i want to discuss some of his canonical behavior in general.

topics include: lance’s relationship with keith in general and lance’s flirtatious behavior.

LET’S START WITH LANCE AND KEITH.  

i’ve always stated that the main reasoning behind why lance acts the way he does stems from insecurity and a desperate, inherent need to make a name for himself. this still stands true.  lance has a poor viewpoint of himself and unhealthily puts keith on a pedestal as someone perfect (despite, canonly, that keith is very much flawed and lance’s glorification of him is a manifestation of his own poor mental state --- which i’m not stating that keith isn’t talented, but rather that lance’s tunnel vision of keith is skewed and not entirely accurate).  

because of his own self deprecation, lance projects his negative feelings onto keith, whether he truly realizes what he’s doing or not.  keith is lance’s punching bag and in the moment it makes lance feel better,  albeit not helping the root cause of the issue.  lance doesn’t quite know how to regulate these emotions and handle them in a healthy manner, and thus keith (shown as someone quiet and not engaging) dismisses lance, which further aggregates that gnawing feeling of inferiority.  it quickly escalates and drives lance to continue to extremes, his dramaticism fueling this desire to be noticed.

these insecurities lance has does not excuse his shitty behavior

lance has both GOOD and BAD qualities, which is what makes him human.  we see keith and lance bond, and we also see them fight  (mostly one sided, as lance usually instigates and keith simply rolls with it).  and the fact they have the capacity to bond suggests to me that LANCE DOES NOT HATE KEITH, but hates himself and blames everyone else (mostly keith) for it.

so when i say that lance needs to come to terms with that being himself is enough and that there is nothing wrong with loving himself, i’m not insinuating that his behavior toward keith is acceptable. i’m stating that it’s okay that he’s just LANCE. he doesn’t need to be the best at everything to be worthy or good enough. and lance has so much to learn with this. he needs to learn self love, GROW UP, and apologize for his actions. he’s still so painfully immature and this behavior only exacerbates this phenomenon.  

i still wholly think they do not hate each other. that isn’t the root issue. and once a genuine moment of vulnerability and truth emerges between them, i feel they have the capacity to become great teammates, and possibly even friends.

especially because i feel like keith can understand lance?? hey may not get why it’s HIM that lance targets, and regardless keith will be angry and upset with lance, but there is that possibility that keith will understand that insecurity. there is so much potential, but lance needs to stop being shitty to keith (and not just that ---- learn to not project his emotions onto others) before any kind of true bonding can happen.

this definitely won’t happen until long after seasons 3 / bp keith , it will take so much development on BOTH ENDS to reach this point.

how am i diverging from canon?  simple :  my lance does not hate keith but rather hates himself , & his negative behavior CAN be corrected (unlike those who feel lance is a shitty person in general, whereas i believe that lance has developed unhealthy coping mechanisms and thus has the capacity to alter such into something much more healthy).

NOW TO LANCE’S FLIRTING...

LANCE 👏 DOES 👏 NOT 👏 HARASS 👏 WOMEN 👏

there is a SIGNIFICANT difference between someone being flirtatious and someone sexually harassing another being, and the fact i actually have to say this makes me ill.

i’ve seen things floating, mentioning that lance “sexually harasses allura and other women” because of his consistent flirting and ��‘ sexualization of the female body ‘ ... let me tell you how that isn’t true ----- more so for my interpretation of lance

first, appreciation of beauty does not equate sexualization. it’s firm canon that lance is attracted to the female form, yes.  he’s stated (verbally and nonverbally) of such things. but since when is attraction = sex?  lance does not view women as sex objects, he’s got so much respect for his female superiors at the garrison, for allura, hell even for his own family.  lance isn’t one to shy away from declaring the beauty of others, and because of this feat shouldn’t be demonized for it. just as we are allowed to state others are pretty / cute / etc , so is lance. plain and simple.

second, lance’s flirting is harmless. because of his inherent appreciation of beauty (particularly that in the female form) lance isn’t afraid to voice it.  at no point in any of the episodes do the women feel very uncomfortable (a notable feeling when otherwise sexually harassed) nor do these women take his minute comments seriously.  it’s mostly out of annoyance that allura would roll her eyes, and she knows lance is harmless with what he says.  the rest of voltron know this too.

and even if he were to make someone uncomfortable, no doubt lance would cut it out right then and there.  he doesn’t mean harm in any of the flirtatious words he says, nor is it his goal to make others uncomfortable or uneasy.  he’s simply teasing, voicing his appreciation in the form of pick up lines,  but when asked he will stop altogether.

this mostly stems from an inherent lack of impulse control, mostly relating to the fact he speaks before he thinks.  this also contributes to his rocky relationship with keith, as lance shows no regard to keith’s emotions when he lashes out.  

honestly . . .   call lance out on his shit and i have no doubt he will stop. he may be young and naive and immature, but he is not gross.  

also, just a bonus note:  his pick up lines are also usually used to test the interest level of the other party as well. lance is a romantic, and despite his search for love being frivolous as he should be focusing on loving himself, lance does not hesitate to try and see if those beautiful women might find him equally as beautiful back. he is a playful and passionate lover, and so his expression of intimate feelings will be different than that of keith or shiro or whomever.  

and just because lance expresses this side of him different doesn’t exactly mean it’s bad or unhealthy. 

[itsokaybigcat-blog]

five Techniques Nobody Tells You About Winning His Heart Permanently

In the case of having a man to commit to a connection, many women can not look to crack the code.

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The truth is, when he ultimately comes across that 1 woman who produces the perfect sequence of "numbers" to unlock his commitment blend, he'll really feel compelled to hang onto her. He'll commit to a connection due to the fact he isn't going to need to threat losing her.

So, now we know dedication isn't some kind of man allergy. What you have to do is learn about tips on how to crack his commitment code and get your man to commit - and sooner or later fall in appreciate with you.

A lot easier stated than completed, in fact, contemplating the typical guy isn't terrific at communicating his emotional demands. That is in which I are available in! 

Here are five items guys (will not let you know they) desire prior to they'll commit to a romance and begin to fall in appreciate with you.

1. He demands you to desire him.

One among the keys to discovering how you can make your man joyful is primary, animalistic wish. From the pit of his stomach, he has to want you, long for you personally, yearn to suit your needs. He needs to miss you when you are not all over and he needs to truly feel a pang of lust when he has not witnessed you for some time. 

This need is developed by means of the perform of opposites. He'll crave you then he catches you; he'll miss you then falls into you; he'll lust to suit your needs then you are going to surrender to him. It truly is the producing as well as the release of stress above and above yet again.

The way you establish this tension is by way of your sexuality - tease him then give in, playfully run from him after which enable him to capture you, add levity and spontaneity to his existence, give him lustful stares and then leave the space, send him attractive notes during the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your strong feminine attributes to contrast his significant and calculated masculine nature.

two. He needs your respect.

Respect is usually a cardinal virtue; it's the basis of any romantic relationship that endures and stands the test of time. Respect will help re-ignite a connection long following the flame of really like and lust has sputtered. Quite a few men marry the female who respects him, even in excess of the female who loves him.

Guys might possibly rest with, speak to, and care concerning the female they adore (and lust), but usually appreciate only is not all they desire.

Loads of this has to do together with the term "I appreciate you." To a guy in addition to a woman, this term can have various meanings. A guy could possibly interpret it as "don't harm me" or perhaps "you're trapped." Males see the really enjoy from a woman as alot more of the commodity than a little something novel.

Of course, the phrases make him really feel excellent when he hears them, however they will not sing to his soul. Males have crippling inadequacies they silently battle their entire lives.

So, find out why you respect your man. What are you proud of him for? What can you acknowledge him for? How will you make him feel fantastic about himself? Then, tell him. Don't tell him just that you just take pleasure in him, tell him why you enjoy him.

A second way for you to express your respect is to apologize when you've made a blunder or mentioned a thing wrong. You (and he) have to make the partnership additional important than individual egos. When he understands you respect his character, he'll allow you in deeper, exposing other tender components of his soul the place he wants healing and support.

3. He must really feel emotionally risk-free.

The third matter to help keep in thoughts when finding out the right way to hold your guy satisfied is his emotional health. By surrendering your anger, bitterness, or any resentment you might have towards him, you give him safe and sound passage to get vulnerable.

This transpires by you putting your trust in him. Then, he can believe in you. You both allow yourself for being vulnerable and that assists a romance function. But for this vulnerability to consider off, gals generally should be the initiators. Guys are trying to find another person to lead them to the vulnerable abyss.

It happens to be a woman's courage to open up and allow down her guard that inspires guys to lay down their psychological shields and loosen up.

So how do you do that? Well, it aids by studying how males believe. He has to know that you won't judge or criticize him. He must truly feel supported, accepted, and encouraged that you're on his side. He has to are aware that you will not tell your pals or (worse) your mother about any problems he tends to make. He has to know that you'll stand up for him when other folks say awful matters about him. He must realize that you will confront any injustices or troubles head-on.

4. He requirements you to challenge him.

With the core of each guy is challenge. Guys grow via challenge. Challenge speaks to the component of their masculinity that innately tends to make them wish to conquer and win. Challenge will be the path men get to attain success, which in the end makes them feel respected.

In a nutshell, it truly comes down to owning a strong sense of one's own values - being aware of what exactly is crucial to you and standing by it. This generates the challenge that strengthens the romance. An alternative component of this challenge is being able to confront a man when you come to feel like people values are compromised.

This can require you confronting him as you imagine he owes you an apology, rather then letting it fall from the wayside. While you can confront him, he'll obtain you incredibly attractive. Whether or not his to start with reaction is anger, the truth that you could stand up to him will change the way in which he appears at you. It can challenge him to become a much better guy.

5. He must really feel awe and wonder. 

The final step in knowing the way to keep your man pleased is good, old-fashioned pleasure. Even acting slightly crazy may be a excellent issue; crazy, not insane - skinny-dipping from the ocean is fantastic, but faking your personal kidnapping as a result of he's been working also late is just not.

All also generally, gals are taught to really feel poor about staying emotional, feeling 'crazy,' and acting unpredictably. But these feminine attributes are in fact desirable to males. Thus, embrace your femininity and make it possible for it to enliven your partnership. This may help a man fall deeper and deeper in adore with you.

As soon as you embody your instinctual feminine nature, you develop the space for him to say matters like, "There is just a little something about her that I take pleasure in."

Go through a lot more about this here - 

https://miniature-physicist.tumblr.com/post/177057368463/five-secrets-nobody-tells-you-about-winning-his

[persseius-blog]

five Secrets No one Tells You About Winning His Heart Permanently

In terms of having a man to commit to a romantic relationship, several women cannot seem to be to crack the code.

As most of us have observed, you'll find two types of men: Behind curtain #1 could be the style of guy who's positively smitten with his girlfriend - he puts her on a pedestal, treats her like a queen, and locations her happiness above his personal. And behind curtain #2 is the style who's labeled as being a "commitment-phobe" - he does not appear to get pleasure from becoming within a romance, acting as though his commitment is within the involuntary kind.

The truth is, a examine by Match.com located that 95 percent of guys openly admit to seeing marriage as one of their ultimate life ambitions.

So if this is what 95 percent of them seem to be to want, how will you obtain a man to commit and literally fall in love with you?

It all comes down to how a guy views commitment. To a man, it really is like cracking a mixture lock; in case the numbers do not line up, he'll be emotionally distant and unavailable, in lieu of all in. He may possibly even come up with a few one-liner excuses that females undoubtedly unearth aggravating: "I must focus on my career," "I just require space," or, "I'm just not ready for any partnership best now."

But these one-liners are not lies. He extremely believes what he's saying considering that the "numbers" of his dedication code are not lining up.

In other words, when he says, "I'm just not ready for a partnership proper now," what he extremely implies is, "I'm just not prepared to get a romantic relationship with you."

While it hurts to hear this, comprehending ways to obtain a man to commit - and why and just how he chooses to eventually get the plunge - can conserve you heartache and make it easier to fully grasp guys.

The truth is, when he lastly comes across that 1 female who produces the appropriate sequence of "numbers" to unlock his dedication blend, he'll really feel compelled to hang onto her. He'll commit to a partnership as a result of he does not wish to risk shedding her.

So, now we know commitment is not some sort of man allergy. Everything you need to do is understand tips on how to crack his dedication code and get your man to commit - and finally fall in appreciate with you.

Less complicated explained than done, obviously, thinking about the typical man is not good at communicating his emotional wants. Which is exactly where I are available in! 

Here are 5 elements guys (won't let you know they) desire ahead of they will commit to a connection and start to fall in really enjoy with you.

one. He requirements you to want him.

Considered one of the keys to understanding the way to make your man pleased is basic, animalistic want. Within the pit of his abdomen, he needs to want you, long for you, yearn to suit your needs. He has to miss you when you happen to be not all-around and he has to really feel a pang of lust when he has not noticed you for a while. 

This wish is designed by means of the play of opposites. He'll crave you and after that he catches you; he'll miss you after which falls into you; he'll lust for you then you are going to surrender to him. It truly is the producing and also the release of tension in excess of and above yet again.

The way you make this tension is by your sexuality - tease him then give in, playfully run from him and after that permit him to capture you, include levity and spontaneity to his lifestyle, give him lustful stares then leave the room, send him attractive notes through the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your strong feminine qualities to contrast his significant and calculated masculine nature.

2. He requires your respect.

Respect can be a cardinal virtue; it is the basis of any partnership that endures and stands the test of time. Respect can help re-ignite a romantic relationship extended after the flame of really enjoy and lust has sputtered. A number of guys marry the lady who respects him, even over the lady who loves him.

Guys may rest with, talk to, and care about the female they enjoy (and lust), but usually love only isn't all they demand.

Numerous this must do with the phrase "I like you." To a guy and also a lady, this phrase can have distinctive meanings. A man could interpret it as "don't harm me" or even "you're trapped." Males see the adore from a woman as even more of the commodity than one thing novel.

Naturally, the words make him truly feel fantastic when he hears them, but they will not sing to his soul. Men have crippling inadequacies they silently battle their whole lives.

So, determine why you respect your guy. What are you proud of him for? What are you able to acknowledge him for? How can you make him really feel superior about himself? Then, tell him. Will not inform him simply you enjoy him, inform him why you enjoy him.

An additional way to express your respect would be to apologize when you've created a blunder or explained one thing incorrect. You (and he) must make the relationship extra critical than person egos. When he understands you respect his character, he'll let you in deeper, exposing other tender elements of his soul the place he wants healing and assistance.

3. He has to come to feel emotionally protected.

The third issue to maintain in mind when understanding the way to continue to keep your man joyful is his emotional health. By surrendering your anger, bitterness, or any resentment you have towards him, you give him harmless passage for being vulnerable.

This happens by you placing your believe in in him. Then, he can believe in you. You the two make it possible for your self to get vulnerable and that aids a romance function. But for this vulnerability to take off, girls typically have to be the initiators. Guys are looking for somebody to lead them into the vulnerable abyss.

Its a woman's courage to open up and allow down her guard that inspires males to lay down their psychological shields and unwind.

So how can you do that? Properly, it aids by understanding how guys think. He has to understand that you will not judge or criticize him. He has to come to feel supported, accepted, and encouraged that you're on his side. He must are aware that you won't inform your pals or (worse) your mother about any problems he makes. He must know that you may stand up for him when other individuals say lousy factors about him. He has to know that you may confront any injustices or issues head-on.

four. He requirements you to challenge him.

At the core of every single man is challenge. Men develop by challenge. Challenge speaks to the aspect of their masculinity that innately can make them wish to conquer and win. Challenge would be the path men consider to achieve good results, which ultimately tends to make them really feel respected.

Within a nutshell, it certainly comes right down to having a strong sense of one's own values - recognizing what on earth is crucial to you and standing by it. This generates the challenge that strengthens the romance. One more component of this challenge is being able to confront a man any time you feel like individuals values are compromised.

This may well call for you confronting him as soon as you imagine he owes you an apology, as an alternative to letting it fall from the wayside. As you can confront him, he'll unearth you incredibly desirable. Even though his initially response is anger, the fact that you're able to stand as much as him will transform the way in which he looks at you. It will eventually challenge him to be a greater man.

5. He has to come to feel awe and wonder. 

The last stage in discovering the best way to retain your guy happy is superior, old-fashioned pleasure. Even acting a little bit crazy can be a superior factor; crazy, not insane - skinny-dipping from the ocean is very good, but faking your own personal kidnapping as a result of he's been working as well late just isn't.

All as well typically, females are taught to come to feel terrible about becoming emotional, feeling 'crazy,' and acting unpredictably. But these feminine attributes are genuinely captivating to guys. So, embrace your femininity and allow it to enliven your connection. This will guide a man fall deeper and deeper in take pleasure in with you.

As soon as you embody your instinctual feminine nature, you establish the space for him to say elements like, "There is just one thing about her that I adore."

Go through a lot more about this here - 

https://alltheshit.tumblr.com/post/176980633659/five-secrets-and-techniques-no-one-tells-you-about

[goodoldianto-blog]

5 Strategies No one Tells You About Winning His Heart Permanently

In relation to acquiring a man to commit to a romance, numerous women can not look to crack the code.

As most of us have observed, you can get two forms of guys: Behind curtain #1 certainly is the form of man who is absolutely smitten with his girlfriend - he puts her on the pedestal, treats her like a queen, and places her happiness above his personal. And behind curtain #2 could be the style who's labeled as being a "commitment-phobe" - he doesn't appear to like remaining within a romantic relationship, acting as if his dedication is from the involuntary form.

Believe it or not, a examine by Match.com observed that 95 percent of men openly admit to seeing marriage as considered one of their ultimate life objectives.

So if this can be what 95 percent of them seem to want, how can you obtain a man to commit and in reality fall in really like with you?

All of it comes right down to how a guy views commitment. To a man, it's like cracking a combination lock; should the numbers never line up, he'll be emotionally distant and unavailable, as opposed to all in. He may perhaps even come up with several one-liner excuses that females undoubtedly get irritating: "I should give attention to my job," "I just will need room," or, "I'm just not prepared for a romantic relationship best now."

But these one-liners are not lies. He genuinely believes what he is saying simply because the "numbers" of his dedication code aren't lining up.

To put it differently, when he says, "I'm just not ready for any romantic relationship best suited now," what he actually implies is, "I'm just not prepared for any partnership with you."

When it hurts to hear this, comprehending the best way to obtain a guy to commit - and why and how he chooses to finally get the plunge - can conserve you heartache and allow you to fully understand guys.

The truth is, when he eventually comes across that a single woman who generates the right sequence of "numbers" to unlock his commitment combination, he'll come to feel compelled to hang onto her. He'll commit to a connection because he does not would like to risk dropping her.

So, now we know dedication isn't some type of man allergy. What you have to do is study how to crack his commitment code and get your guy to commit - and inevitably fall in really like with you.

Simpler said than carried out, obviously, considering the common guy is not terrific at communicating his emotional requirements. Which is the place I come in! 

Right here are 5 matters guys (will not let you know they) will need in advance of they will commit to a relationship and begin to fall in like with you.

1. He needs you to want him.

Certainly one of the keys to mastering ways to make your guy delighted is basic, animalistic want. Inside the pit of his stomach, he has to want you, extended for you personally, yearn to suit your needs. He needs to miss you when you're not all-around and he needs to truly feel a pang of lust when he has not viewed you for some time. 

This wish is developed through the play of opposites. He'll crave you and then he catches you; he'll miss you and after that falls into you; he'll lust for you and after that you will surrender to him. It truly is the producing and also the release of stress over and in excess of yet again.

The way you establish this stress is via your sexuality - tease him then give in, playfully run from him and after that permit him to capture you, add levity and spontaneity to his life, give him lustful stares after which leave the space, send him sexy notes through the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your impressive feminine qualities to contrast his significant and calculated masculine nature.

two. He wants your respect.

Respect is definitely a cardinal virtue; it is the foundation of any connection that endures and stands the test of time. Respect can help re-ignite a partnership extended following the flame of like and lust has sputtered. Countless males marry the girl who respects him, even in excess of the girl who loves him.

Males may well sleep with, speak to, and care regarding the girl they appreciate (and lust), but quite often adore only is not all they have to have.

A whole lot of this needs to do with the term "I take pleasure in you." To a guy as well as a lady, this phrase can have unique meanings. A man could interpret it as "don't harm me" or maybe "you're trapped." Guys see the enjoy from a woman as even more of a commodity than something novel.

Of course, the words make him come to feel decent when he hears them, but they will not sing to his soul. Men have crippling inadequacies they silently battle their total lives.

So, find out why you respect your guy. What exactly are you proud of him for? What are you able to acknowledge him for? How will you make him feel superior about himself? Then, tell him. Will not inform him merely that you just adore him, inform him why you appreciate him.

A different technique to express your respect will be to apologize when you have made a mistake or said a thing incorrect. You (and he) will have to make the romance far more essential than individual egos. When he knows you respect his character, he will allow you in deeper, exposing other tender parts of his soul exactly where he desires healing and assistance.

three. He must feel emotionally protected.

The third factor to maintain in thoughts when understanding the way to keep your man completely happy is his emotional wellness. By surrendering your anger, bitterness, or any resentment you might have toward him, you give him safe and sound passage to get vulnerable.

This occurs by you putting your believe in in him. Then, he can trust you. You the two make it possible for by yourself for being vulnerable and that aids a romantic relationship function. But for this vulnerability to get off, females ordinarily will have to be the initiators. Males are looking for anyone to lead them to the vulnerable abyss.

It happens to be a woman's courage to open up and let down her guard that inspires men to lay down their psychological shields and unwind.

So how do you do that? Properly, it aids by understanding how men think. He has to understand that you will not judge or criticize him. He needs to come to feel supported, accepted, and encouraged that you're on his side. He must know that you won't inform your friends or (worse) your mother about any errors he makes. He needs to realize that you are going to stand up for him when many others say poor factors about him. He must know that you will confront any injustices or issues head-on.

4. He requires you to challenge him.

At the core of every man is challenge. Men increase via challenge. Challenge speaks to the component of their masculinity that innately can make them choose to conquer and win. Challenge is definitely the path men get to achieve success, which ultimately tends to make them come to feel respected.

In a nutshell, it really comes down to possessing a strong sense of the own values - being aware of what is crucial that you you and standing by it. This generates the challenge that strengthens the connection. A second element of this challenge is being able to confront a guy any time you really feel like these values are compromised.

This may well require you confronting him as you think he owes you an apology, rather then letting it fall from the wayside. Once you can confront him, he'll uncover you incredibly enticing. Even though his primary reaction is anger, the fact that you can stand up to him will alter the way he looks at you. It'll challenge him to be a much better man.

5. He has to come to feel awe and wonder. 

The ultimate step in finding out the right way to retain your guy joyful is great, old-fashioned pleasure. Even acting a little bit crazy is known as a good factor; crazy, not insane - skinny-dipping while in the ocean is excellent, but faking your individual kidnapping given that he's been doing work too late just isn't.

All as well commonly, ladies are taught to really feel terrible about currently being emotional, feeling 'crazy,' and acting unpredictably. But these feminine characteristics are literally desirable to men. Hence, embrace your femininity and make it possible for it to enliven your connection. This may enable a guy fall deeper and deeper in like with you.

Any time you embody your instinctual feminine nature, you develop the room for him to say matters like, "There is just a thing about her that I really enjoy."

Go through even more about this here - 

https://just-awhitegirl.tumblr.com/post/177009415670/five-tricks-nobody-tells-you-about-winning-his

[rickdvlton-blog]

five Strategies Nobody Tells You About Winning His Heart Permanently

When it comes to finding a man to commit to a romantic relationship, a lot of gals cannot look to crack the code.

As many of us have noticed, you will find two types of guys: Behind curtain #1 certainly is the form of guy that is totally smitten with his girlfriend - he puts her on the pedestal, treats her like a queen, and places her happiness above his own. And behind curtain #2 certainly is the variety who's labeled as a "commitment-phobe" - he doesn't seem to delight in remaining in a romance, acting as though his commitment is in the involuntary form.

The reality is, a study by Match.com found that 95 percent of guys openly admit to seeing marriage as considered one of their greatest existence goals.

So if this can be what 95 percent of them appear to want, how can you get a man to commit and essentially fall in really like with you?

It all comes down to how a man views commitment. To a man, it is like cracking a mixture lock; should the numbers do not line up, he'll be emotionally distant and unavailable, as an alternative to all in. He might even come up with various one-liner excuses that women undoubtedly unearth frustrating: "I ought to concentrate on my profession," "I just will need space," or, "I'm just not ready to get a relationship suitable now."

But these one-liners are not lies. He really believes what he's saying for the reason that the "numbers" of his dedication code are not lining up.

In other words, when he says, "I'm just not ready to get a relationship perfect now," what he truly suggests is, "I'm just not ready to get a partnership with you."

Even while it hurts to hear this, understanding how to obtain a guy to commit - and why and just how he chooses to last but not least consider the plunge - can conserve you heartache and allow you to realize men.

The reality is, when he last but not least comes across that a single woman who creates the correct sequence of "numbers" to unlock his commitment mixture, he'll truly feel compelled to hang onto her. He'll commit to a relationship because he doesn't wish to chance losing her.

So, now we know dedication isn't some type of guy allergy. What you have to do is find out the way to crack his commitment code and get your man to commit - and eventually fall in adore with you.

Less difficult explained than carried out, naturally, considering the average man isn't superb at communicating his emotional wants. That's exactly where I can be found in! 

Here are five items guys (will not let you know they) want before they will commit to a romance and begin to fall in adore with you.

1. He desires you to wish him.

One among the keys to learning easy methods to make your guy happy is standard, animalistic want. During the pit of his abdomen, he must want you, extended for you personally, yearn to suit your needs. He has to miss you when you happen to be not all around and he needs to feel a pang of lust when he has not viewed you for a while. 

This desire is designed via the play of opposites. He'll crave you and after that he catches you; he'll miss you and then falls into you; he'll lust for you personally then you may surrender to him. It truly is the building along with the release of stress above and over yet again.

The way in which you establish this tension is by your sexuality - tease him and then give in, playfully run from him then make it possible for him to capture you, add levity and spontaneity to his life, give him lustful stares then leave the area, send him attractive notes during the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your powerful feminine attributes to contrast his severe and calculated masculine nature.

2. He requirements your respect.

Respect is a cardinal virtue; it is the basis of any romance that endures and stands the test of time. Respect might help re-ignite a relationship extended following the flame of really enjoy and lust has sputtered. Lots of guys marry the lady who respects him, even in excess of the female who loves him.

Males can rest with, talk to, and care concerning the female they enjoy (and lust), but commonly enjoy only isn't all they demand.

A lot of this has to do together with the phrase "I appreciate you." To a guy as well as a lady, this term can have numerous meanings. A man may interpret it as "don't harm me" as well as "you're trapped." Men see the really enjoy from a lady as even more of a commodity than a thing novel.

Naturally, the words make him really feel decent when he hears them, however they don't sing to his soul. Males have crippling inadequacies they silently battle their whole lives.

So, determine why you respect your guy. What exactly are you proud of him for? What can you acknowledge him for? How can you make him truly feel very good about himself? Then, tell him. Do not tell him merely which you enjoy him, tell him why you appreciate him.

A second way for you to express your respect could be to apologize when you've created a mistake or mentioned one thing wrong. You (and he) need to make the relationship a lot more necessary than personal egos. When he understands you respect his character, he'll let you in deeper, exposing other tender components of his soul the place he desires healing and help.

3. He must feel emotionally risk-free.

The third matter to help keep in mind when discovering methods to keep your man pleased is his emotional well being. By surrendering your anger, bitterness, or any resentment you could have towards him, you give him safe and sound passage for being vulnerable.

This transpires by you placing your believe in in him. After which, he can trust you. You each enable your self to get vulnerable and that assists a romance work. But for this vulnerability to consider off, females traditionally ought to be the initiators. Guys are trying to find somebody to lead them in to the vulnerable abyss.

It is a woman's courage to open up and allow down her guard that inspires males to lay down their psychological shields and chill out.

So how do you do this? Properly, it helps by finding out how men feel. He needs to are aware that you won't judge or criticize him. He must come to feel supported, accepted, and encouraged that you are on his side. He has to are aware that you will not inform your pals or (worse) your mom about any errors he helps make. He must understand that you may stand up for him when other people say bad matters about him. He has to understand that you'll confront any injustices or problems head-on.

four. He desires you to challenge him.

At the core of every man is challenge. Guys increase by challenge. Challenge speaks for the portion of their masculinity that innately makes them choose to conquer and win. Challenge will be the path men get to achieve success, which in the long run can make them really feel respected.

In a nutshell, it seriously comes down to obtaining a powerful sense of one's very own values - learning what on earth is important to you and standing by it. This creates the challenge that strengthens the relationship. An additional component of this challenge is being able to confront a guy once you come to feel like individuals values are compromised.

This can demand you confronting him once you assume he owes you an apology, rather then letting it fall through the wayside. When you can confront him, he'll discover you incredibly appealing. Whether or not his 1st response is anger, the truth that you'll be able to stand up to him will alter the way in which he seems to be at you. It will challenge him for being a much better guy.

five. He has to feel awe and wonder. 

The last phase in understanding the right way to continue to keep your guy happy is superior, old-fashioned pleasure. Even acting somewhat crazy is usually a really good issue; crazy, not insane - skinny-dipping in the ocean is decent, but faking your own personal kidnapping simply because he's been doing work as well late is just not.

All too normally, girls are taught to come to feel poor about staying emotional, feeling 'crazy,' and acting unpredictably. But these feminine characteristics are in fact captivating to men. Consequently, embrace your femininity and permit it to enliven your connection. This can help a man fall deeper and deeper in adore with you.

As you embody your instinctual feminine nature, you create the room for him to say points like, "There is just one thing about her that I take pleasure in."

Study far more about this right here - 

https://typicalbrowngirl.tumblr.com/post/176942855801/5-tricks-no-person-tells-you-about-winning-his

[pitiless-princess-blog]

five Tricks No person Tells You About Winning His Heart Forever

On the subject of having a man to commit to a partnership, many women can't seem to crack the code.

As many of us have noticed, you can get two varieties of guys: Behind curtain #1 is the kind of guy who is unquestionably smitten with his girlfriend - he puts her on the pedestal, treats her like a queen, and locations her happiness above his very own. And behind curtain #2 would be the type who's labeled as a "commitment-phobe" - he doesn't appear to take pleasure in staying within a connection, acting as if his commitment is within the involuntary sort.

Believe it or not, a review by Match.com identified that 95 % of males openly admit to seeing marriage as one of their greatest lifestyle targets.

So if that is what 95 percent of them seem to be to want, how will you obtain a guy to commit and basically fall in really like with you?

It all comes right down to how a guy views dedication. To a guy, it can be like cracking a blend lock; when the numbers will not line up, he'll be emotionally distant and unavailable, in lieu of all in. He may even come up with a few one-liner excuses that ladies undoubtedly obtain irritating: "I really need to focus on my job," "I just need to have room," or, "I'm just not prepared to get a romance right now."

But these one-liners aren't lies. He really believes what he's saying as a result of the "numbers" of his commitment code are not lining up.

In other words, when he says, "I'm just not ready for any partnership right now," what he really means is, "I'm just not ready for any partnership with you."

Whilst it hurts to hear this, understanding how you can get a guy to commit - and why and just how he chooses to ultimately take the plunge - can save you heartache and allow you to realize males.

The truth is, when he lastly comes across that one particular girl who produces the appropriate sequence of "numbers" to unlock his commitment mixture, he'll feel compelled to hang onto her. He'll commit to a relationship due to the fact he does not want to possibility shedding her.

So, now we know dedication is not some sort of guy allergy. What you must do is know the way to crack his dedication code and get your man to commit - and sooner or later fall in enjoy with you.

Less difficult mentioned than completed, needless to say, contemplating the typical guy is not excellent at communicating his emotional wants. Which is wherever I can be found in! 

Here are 5 details guys (will not inform you they) need just before they will commit to a connection and start to fall in adore with you.

one. He wants you to desire him.

Among the keys to finding out ways to make your guy satisfied is basic, animalistic wish. Inside the pit of his stomach, he must want you, long for you personally, yearn to suit your needs. He has to miss you when you happen to be not all around and he has to really feel a pang of lust when he has not witnessed you for some time. 

This want is developed by means of the play of opposites. He'll crave you and after that he catches you; he'll miss you after which falls into you; he'll lust for you after which you will surrender to him. It truly is the producing along with the release of tension above and in excess of once more.

The way you generate this tension is by means of your sexuality - tease him then give in, playfully run from him and then let him to capture you, add levity and spontaneity to his lifestyle, give him lustful stares and after that leave the space, send him attractive notes through the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your effective feminine attributes to contrast his critical and calculated masculine nature.

two. He requirements your respect.

Respect is a cardinal virtue; it's the basis of any connection that endures and stands the check of time. Respect can assist re-ignite a romance long after the flame of like and lust has sputtered. Countless males marry the woman who respects him, even over the lady who loves him.

Guys could possibly rest with, speak to, and care about the female they really like (and lust), but often really like only is not all they have to have.

A great deal of this needs to do using the phrase "I appreciate you." To a man plus a female, this term can have different meanings. A man could interpret it as "don't harm me" or perhaps "you're trapped." Men see the love from a woman as a lot more of the commodity than a little something novel.

In fact, the words make him truly feel superior when he hears them, however they don't sing to his soul. Guys have crippling inadequacies they silently battle their total lives.

So, discover why you respect your man. What exactly are you proud of him for? What could you acknowledge him for? How will you make him truly feel really good about himself? Then, inform him. Never tell him merely that you simply love him, inform him why you like him.

A second way for you to express your respect is always to apologize when you have created a blunder or explained one thing wrong. You (and he) will have to make the connection much more imperative than individual egos. When he understands you respect his character, he will allow you in deeper, exposing other tender parts of his soul in which he needs healing and support.

three. He has to truly feel emotionally risk-free.

The third issue to help keep in thoughts when understanding the best way to maintain your guy satisfied is his emotional health. By surrendering your anger, bitterness, or any resentment you might have toward him, you give him secure passage to be vulnerable.

This takes place by you placing your trust in him. And then, he can believe in you. You both permit oneself to get vulnerable and that aids a partnership get the job done. But for this vulnerability to get off, ladies frequently must be the initiators. Men are trying to find someone to lead them into the vulnerable abyss.

It really is a woman's courage to open up and allow down her guard that inspires guys to lay down their psychological shields and loosen up.

So how do you do this? Properly, it assists by figuring out how men think. He needs to are aware that you will not judge or criticize him. He needs to truly feel supported, accepted, and encouraged that you are on his side. He needs to understand that you won't tell your pals or (worse) your mother about any blunders he can make. He has to understand that you are going to stand up for him when other folks say undesirable details about him. He needs to are aware that you'll confront any injustices or concerns head-on.

four. He requirements you to challenge him.

At the core of every man is challenge. Men expand by challenge. Challenge speaks to the part of their masculinity that innately helps make them desire to conquer and win. Challenge may be the path males get to attain achievement, which ultimately helps make them really feel respected.

In a nutshell, it truly comes right down to acquiring a strong sense of your very own values - knowing what exactly is crucial that you you and standing by it. This generates the challenge that strengthens the romantic relationship. One other element of this challenge is being able to confront a man as you truly feel like those values are compromised.

This may well demand you confronting him once you feel he owes you an apology, other than letting it fall through the wayside. As soon as you can confront him, he'll discover you exceptionally captivating. Whether or not his primary response is anger, the truth that it is possible to stand up to him will adjust the way in which he looks at you. It will challenge him for being a better guy.

5. He must truly feel awe and wonder. 

The ultimate phase in mastering methods to hold your man delighted is good, old-fashioned excitement. Even acting a little crazy is definitely a beneficial matter; crazy, not insane - skinny-dipping from the ocean is beneficial, but faking your personal kidnapping as a result of he is been working as well late is not.

All also quite often, females are taught to truly feel undesirable about remaining emotional, feeling 'crazy,' and acting unpredictably. But these feminine characteristics are in reality interesting to men. So, embrace your femininity and enable it to enliven your romance. This could aid a guy fall deeper and deeper in really enjoy with you.

If you embody your instinctual feminine nature, you establish the space for him to say details like, "There is just one thing about her that I love."

Read more about this here - 

https://pretty-fuckiing.tumblr.com/post/176982560048/five-tricks-no-person-tells-you-about-winning-his

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5 Techniques Nobody Tells You About Winning His Heart Permanently

When it comes to receiving a man to commit to a relationship, several females can not seem to be to crack the code.

As most of us have noticed, you will find two varieties of males: Behind curtain #1 stands out as the sort of guy who's absolutely smitten with his girlfriend - he puts her on the pedestal, treats her like a queen, and destinations her happiness above his personal. And behind curtain #2 may be the style who's labeled like a "commitment-phobe" - he does not appear to get pleasure from becoming within a romance, acting as if his dedication is of your involuntary variety.

Believe it or not, a examine by Match.com observed that 95 percent of men openly admit to seeing marriage as one of their ultimate lifestyle aims.

So if that is what 95 percent of them seem to be to want, how will you obtain a man to commit and actually fall in take pleasure in with you?

It all comes down to how a guy views commitment. To a guy, it truly is like cracking a mixture lock; in the event the numbers do not line up, he'll be emotionally distant and unavailable, in lieu of all in. He could possibly even come up with a number of one-liner excuses that women undoubtedly discover irritating: "I will need to focus on my occupation," "I just want area," or, "I'm just not ready for any connection appropriate now."

But these one-liners aren't lies. He actually believes what he is saying for the reason that the "numbers" of his dedication code aren't lining up.

To put it differently, when he says, "I'm just not ready for any romantic relationship best now," what he honestly means is, "I'm just not ready for any connection with you."

While it hurts to hear this, comprehending how to obtain a guy to commit - and why and how he chooses to last but not least take the plunge - can save you heartache and make it easier to appreciate guys.

The reality is, when he ultimately comes across that a single woman who generates the correct sequence of "numbers" to unlock his commitment combination, he'll come to feel compelled to hang onto her. He'll commit to a romance due to the fact he does not just want to chance dropping her.

So, now we know commitment is not some type of guy allergy. What you really have to do is learn tips on how to crack his commitment code and get your guy to commit - and finally fall in appreciate with you.

Less difficult mentioned than completed, in fact, considering the typical man isn't superb at communicating his emotional demands. That is where I come in! 

Right here are 5 items guys (won't tell you they) have to have prior to they will commit to a partnership and start to fall in take pleasure in with you.

one. He demands you to need him.

One of the keys to understanding methods to make your man completely happy is fundamental, animalistic wish. While in the pit of his abdomen, he needs to want you, extended for you personally, yearn to suit your needs. He must miss you when you're not close to and he must come to feel a pang of lust when he hasn't viewed you for some time. 

This wish is made by the play of opposites. He'll crave you after which he catches you; he'll miss you and then falls into you; he'll lust to suit your needs then you will surrender to him. It truly is the building and the release of tension above and over again.

The way you make this tension is by your sexuality - tease him after which give in, playfully run from him then permit him to capture you, include levity and spontaneity to his daily life, give him lustful stares then leave the space, send him sexy notes through the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your effective feminine qualities to contrast his serious and calculated masculine nature.

two. He requirements your respect.

Respect is a cardinal virtue; it's the foundation of any relationship that endures and stands the check of time. Respect may help re-ignite a connection extended following the flame of really like and lust has sputtered. A number of men marry the female who respects him, even in excess of the lady who loves him.

Males may well rest with, speak to, and care concerning the woman they enjoy (and lust), but generally take pleasure in only isn't all they want.

A great deal of this needs to do with all the phrase "I take pleasure in you." To a guy as well as a lady, this term can have various meanings. A man might interpret it as "don't harm me" or even "you're trapped." Guys see the appreciate from a lady as even more of the commodity than something novel.

Obviously, the words make him come to feel really good when he hears them, however they do not sing to his soul. Men have crippling inadequacies they silently battle their total lives.

So, determine why you respect your guy. What exactly are you proud of him for? What can you acknowledge him for? How can you make him truly feel fantastic about himself? Then, tell him. Do not tell him just that you simply love him, inform him why you really enjoy him.

A further approach to express your respect would be to apologize when you've manufactured a blunder or explained one thing wrong. You (and he) have to make the partnership more very important than personal egos. When he understands you respect his character, he'll let you in deeper, exposing other tender parts of his soul exactly where he needs healing and help.

three. He must truly feel emotionally protected.

The third point to help keep in mind when learning tips on how to continue to keep your guy content is his emotional wellbeing. By surrendering your anger, bitterness, or any resentment you have toward him, you give him protected passage for being vulnerable.

This comes about by you placing your believe in in him. After which, he can trust you. You both allow on your own for being vulnerable and that aids a romance job. But for this vulnerability to take off, females commonly need to be the initiators. Men are looking for another person to lead them in to the vulnerable abyss.

It can be a woman's courage to open up and allow down her guard that inspires guys to lay down their psychological shields and relax.

So how do you do this? Effectively, it aids by discovering how males feel. He must realize that you will not judge or criticize him. He must truly feel supported, accepted, and encouraged that you are on his side. He has to are aware that you won't inform your pals or (worse) your mother about any problems he makes. He needs to are aware that you'll stand up for him when many others say awful matters about him. He has to are aware that you are going to confront any injustices or problems head-on.

four. He wants you to challenge him.

With the core of each and every man is challenge. Men develop by challenge. Challenge speaks to the element of their masculinity that innately can make them want to conquer and win. Challenge will be the path men get to achieve success, which in the end tends to make them truly feel respected.

Inside a nutshell, it honestly comes down to obtaining a strong sense of your personal values - figuring out what on earth is crucial that you you and standing by it. This produces the challenge that strengthens the partnership. An alternative component of this challenge is being able to confront a man after you feel like those values are compromised.

This could require you confronting him after you think he owes you an apology, instead of letting it fall through the wayside. While you can confront him, he'll find you incredibly appealing. Whether or not his primary response is anger, the truth that you may stand as much as him will adjust the way in which he appears at you. It's going to challenge him for being a greater man.

five. He must feel awe and wonder. 

The final stage in discovering methods to hold your guy pleased is excellent, old-fashioned excitement. Even acting a bit crazy is definitely a great issue; crazy, not insane - skinny-dipping in the ocean is good, but faking your own personal kidnapping considering that he's been operating also late just isn't.

All as well generally, women are taught to really feel undesirable about currently being emotional, feeling 'crazy,' and acting unpredictably. But these feminine attributes are essentially captivating to guys. As a result, embrace your femininity and permit it to enliven your romance. This may support a guy fall deeper and deeper in adore with you.

While you embody your instinctual feminine nature, you establish the space for him to say important things like, "There is just a little something about her that I enjoy."

Go through much more about this here - 

https://miniature-physicist.tumblr.com/post/177057368463/five-secrets-nobody-tells-you-about-winning-his