#or maybe i read it all wrong
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I just think it's really interesting how, when Zane died, Kai shut off, got drunk and violent. But when Nya 'died', Kai shut off and went to find other kids he hadn't failed yet. Nya was his little sister, he raised her, taught her everything he could and in the end, it didn't help. She was gone. He'd failed to protect her. So he channeled his anger at Kalmar and Wohjira and all the villains that kept on threatening his family and tried to help the new generations by teaching them to have no mercy because that's how the villains he encountered operate.
And by his willingness to come back so easily when Cole and Lloyd come a-knocking, we see, that yes he isolated, but maybe it wasn't his choice this time. Maybe he left because everyone else did and now that he had time, he got himself a bunch of new siblings to prepare for all the bad things in the world and this time he would not fail. Shows his growth of character in comparison to the role he took on when Zane died. Still unhealthy but better than Drunk Underground Fight Club.
idk i just think that's neat.
but yes, on another note, I really wanted Kai to lose his shit at Jay way sooner. He was Nya's brother and Jay really made it seem like he was the only one who lost someone. So yeah, Kai should've handed his ass to him the moment Jay started accusing everyone of having forgotten Nya up in that lighthouse.
Kai can't sadness, but he can anger.
Im SO annoyed seabound Kai just did not care about Nya TURNING INTO THE OCEAN likeee a few offhanded comments here or there but truly no REAL reaction
#i just think thats neat#ninjago#kai ninjago#jay ninjago#seabound#or maybe i read it all wrong#kai big brother not able to handle sadness#for nya they should've unpacked all the GRIEF
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I swapped them around in a silly doodle
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#Vasco! what have they done to you?!#he finally caught the skrunklies#it's contagious#or maybe there's something horribly wrong with the ambient pressure and he's not agreeing with it at all#it's jarring that (at least to me) both Machetes read as Machete they're the opposite ends of the Machete spectrum#his form oscillates between an exposed nerve and a unicorn I get it#but swapped Vasco is#a whole new mystery critter#actually he's kind of cute#I would take him home#give him a bath in the sink and feed him some grilled chicken maybe that'll make him feel more like himself#real Vasco is toasted to perfection this one looks burnt at the edges and raw in the middle#I love his little off-model sheep ear#couldn't even keep his glorious floppers poor boy#gift art#foilthepiglin#own characters#Machete#Vasco
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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I've seen a lot of different takes on Fear Toxin/other fear causing stuff (Yellow Lanterns Ring or something)(later just called Fear Toxin cause I'm lazy) but here is another one.
Danny seems like he isn't affected by Fear Toxin because his biggest fear is that his accident changed him so much he is no longer human, he can no longer truly experience human things.
So when he gets lungful of fear Toxin, he feels normal. He was antsy before, because c'mon, it's a rogue attack but it's not worse. Or so he thought. Because the anxiety lingers. Not enough to register as abnormal just this slight hypervigilance that makes you see things about yourself and your surroundings that you'd never realize otherwise. He'd realize he doesn't blink as often. He'd realize that if he doesn't consciously focus, he sometimes seems to not touch the ground. Forgets to breathe. He can't feel his own pulse at time. He'd realize people will miss him when he's walking down the street as if he was invisible (people just don't care about everyone they pass by). When he'd look straight into his reflection, he'd look slightly to the left. Not enough to actually name anything that was wrong but just stretched enough to fall on the wrong side of the uncanny valley. If he just caught his reflection in the peripheral vision, it'd be vaguely shadowy creature with glowing green eyes and white smoke instead of hair. Overall he'd be just wrong enough to be distinctly not human.
For everyone else, he'd be just a dude. Literally couldn't find more normal dude than this dude. Will pass as absolutely normal human unless someone is specifically looking for ecto-ghost stuff. Even most magic users wouldn't clock him at the glance
Tldr: Fear Toxin makes Danny perceive himself as some sort of eldritch horror but not enough to make him believe he'd actually be affected, while from outside perspective he's Just A Dude™
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#fear toxin#please no Ghost King#nothing against this au but i don't think it'll mesh well woth this idea#probably works best with danny soon after accident#maybe still believing all of his parents anti-ghost propaganda#that'd add to angst for sure#idk why he is somewhere where he could be affected#idk who would realize something is wrong#up to whoever wants to do expand on this prompt#he'd cry when someone tells him he's been in fact affected by fear causing thing#because this means he *is* human and while he was fundamentally changed by his death#it didn't fully get rid of his humanity#but he won't tell that too busy being relieved so whoever delivered the news would be in for the ride#actually it'd be cool if it was someone who has superpowers but they showed up later in their life#parallels y'know#... i may still not be normal about “i wonder what could lie beyond infinity” by Numinous_Scribe on ao3...#top notch fic go read it great Clark characterization#anyway because plot kinda escaped me#hope this idea scratches someone's creative braincell or something#im curious what y'all will make out of it#yellow lantern#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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We are never fucking escaping gender essentialism
#also like. i feel like the implication is that reddit is where people have long discussions about their interests#and tumblr is where people go SQUEEEE MY BABIES UWU#maybe im reading it wrong but. really just feels like we're repackaging 'autistic boys are all geniuses and autistic women are just weird'
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(OC Lore and design time!)
(it got longer again ... sorry ... idk how to make things short, i just need to talk, but i guess if you can read the written stuff in the pic thats the barest bare bones of what i wrote here)
i was asked what new lore story stuff i had thought about that made me sad which i mentioned a bit ago, and while that is too hard to explain given all the missing context i thought i could at least talk about lore having to do with it :D
so, (Lord) Eadrya is one of my fav OCs (big blue lad, here a rough sketch in humanoid form) they are both one of if not THE most powerful demon alive and the most battle trained;
at the mid point of the story the demon world gets invaded by the celestials (the angel inspired things i talked about in the previous lore post with Xaror) and Shargon, as the king, should be their first and only frontline, but at this point his life is only being sustained by maschinery after being mortally wounded, he cannot fight (he realizes what is going on, rips himself off the maschinery to get at least his youngest child to safety, barely managing it before dying- the guardian, the demons god, takes over his body to attempt to fight against the celestials but cant keep itself alive long enough since its host is already dead) Eadrya takes the role of the frontline fighter (despite being very full of themselves and aggressive they care about their 'job' of protecting their own, also giving them the chance to show off just how strong they are); the fight was going well for them all things considered, but when the guardian activates it drains the power of all elemental lords (which Eadrya is one of, and since they have the most strength it also takes the most from them), so much so that they lose the fight and suffer deadly wounds (the worst being a spear through the chest made of a material that grows hard, root-like formations when in contact with demonic blood like a fungus but worse, also stopping any self healing processes) after the guardian falls apart it creates a huge shockwave of energy that stuns every living thing within a certain distance and possibly more-
Eadrya (in true demon form, so like a blue whale in size at least) was likely taken through an active gateway to the human world in a large tidal wave also created by the guardians fall; they wash up in the harbor of a small secluded village, the head of which is 'lady 13'; although never having seen a demon before and everyone being afraid (largely thinking its a strange hurt animal, only she suspected otherwise), they still gather all villagers to pull out the celestial spear, which is diffcult and brutal given that its already taken root, but the village lacked both knowledge and means to help any other way- doing so damaged their heart which is how they were able to collect samples of all three demonic blood types ('normal' -red like humans-, energy -essentially purely magic- and heartblood -highly concentrated energy only found within the heart of a demon and the only one to contain genetic material) (this is the start of Eadryas character arc, having to deal with the fact that their world is likely destroyed, them failing what they didnt think they could fail, having lost a battle so badly (even if not really their fault) for the first time and not knowing if literally anyone else has survived .. also being now stuck in the human world, which they dont like)
Lady 13 (placeholder name? stands for experiment 13) is a human that was tricked by demon hunters to enroll into a series of experiments trying to create hybrids of demons and humans, which they hoped would be powerful and easily controllable tools for their endeavours, though the two are inherently not compatible, they tried grafting body parts of demons on humans to make them compatible- all experiments failed except for her, more or less, though she never got to see the hybrid she carried and was then told it had died too, they threw her out believing she wouldnt survive much longer either and all such experiments were cancelled due to the high cost of human life, research material (demons are still rare) and upkeep with no successful results Lady 13 survived though (perhaps even via the pirates picking her up?) and she ended up living in said small village far away, hiding her half demonic body, though most know there soemthing 'wrong' with her (her being this tall when it doesnt fit the rest for one), only few know the full extent; she enjoys the life she has now, perhaps on the more poor side but safer and more loved than ever before; she largely lead the efforts to try and help Eadrya when they ended up in the harbor, though there wasnt that much anyone could do it was still enough- they leave immediately after waking up, but return after really having nowhere to go and struggling to deal with everything that has happened; over time (probably years) they start to open up towards the people there (though not .. very much) enough to get rather close with Lady 13 too- she actually falls madly in love but after Eadrya (extremely aro/ace) rejects all her attempts quite clearly she respects their boundaries
However, after hearing news of potential demon sightings Eadrya decides to leave in hopes of not being the last demon left after all; Lady 13 then decides to reveal her secret to them (though hearing and seeing what lengths hunters would go to for their experiments makes them absolutely seething with rage- she insists on not being out for revenge) and asks if they would be willing to donate a small amount of heartblood; shes always wanted to be a mother but is now incompatible with humans too- through things she picked up back at the experiments facillity, hers and her doctors research she is sure that is all that is needed, she dares to ask since she does not know when, if ever, she will meet another demon, much less one she could actually trust enough for this though Eadrya hesitates (why would she want to go through the same thing again that didnt work and threatened her life, if it does work, do they want to be involved with any of this? what if hunters find out it worked after all?) but after her ensuring that they would have no part in it other than giving up a little blood and would not be considered a parent in any way, nor made responsible for anything that might happen to her, but considering it all in the end they agree to it
only for her to reveal shes had a small bottle of it already, along with multiple samples of the other types, which she collected when Eadrya was bleeding out into the harbor not knowing if they will survive, though not wanting to make use of it without their consent either way (they are actuallly rather touched by this)
alot later the main group returns here and it turns out to have worked (though she is unable to walk/bedridden for a long while bc it did alot of damage to her body, which can heal since its demons parts, but only really slowly bc she does not have a full functioning system and no demonic blood of her own -she uses the other samples for the healing process-) though its a little awkward to explain, especially considering that 13.1 took alot after Eadrya xD (their theory as to why it worked so "well" that time is that even though the sample was already taken, them giving their consent for it still made it less likely to be rejected; demons dont need partners to have offspring, and all can do it, they just have to decide to- so them agreeing to it, even though its long been outside their body, still had an effect on the blood sample)
#ganondoodles#art#ocs#original art#oc lore#demons#monsters#WHY does writing things liek this take me so long#i spent two hours again on this and im falling asleep as we speak bc its almost 2 am#ANYWAY this was alot again ... sorry#but its a relatively new storyline that i have been afraid of telling#since it touches on things im afraid might come across wrong and uses themes im a lil uncomfy with#but i found it interesting ... and works well with eadrya as a character bc it challenges alot about them#yes im wrote and mean this genuinely#i would have made the cut from her human body to the demon parts more smooth ... but this hard cut is the point#so that she looks rather normal on the upper part and can hide the rest#thoguh im unsure about the color scheme and if maybe i should be more creative with the demons parts#then again its largely just legs lol#if anyone actually reads this ........ i hope it comes across correctly#i like to use darker and more mature themes but am riddled with anxiety over how it will be understood#im gonna work on zelda comic stuff again now .. sorry for all the oc spam#but if there are questions PLEASE feel free to ask im pretty sure i have answers to almosst anything?#also i havent thought of a name for her or the kid .. though im starting to like lady 13#13.1 wont do as a name though poor kid deserves a proper name after already being a weird hybrid that shouldnt exist#either way ... going to bed now GOODNIGHT q-q#(any typos are excused by me being deadly tired ok)
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not enough discussion about the gavins' complicated relationship with feminine-coded/beauty products, i don't think.
#for klavier because it's not as direct it's about how we never see him actually wearing lipstick? even though apollo literally attends#a concert of his which is where you'd most expect him to wear makeup. but apparently he just doesnt. or at least not in public#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#i feel like there are several ways you can read into it. the misogyny/toxic masculinity one is really obvious clearly with kristoph's#singling out of men specifically and klavier's (probably accidental?) condescending manner of calling women 'fraulein' plus his general#mildly patronising attitude towards many of the women in the game (also probably unintentional)#(i think he's trying to be charming and it's coming off wrong to some of them. like ema. and me.)#but i feel like there's also maybe an element of... inherent perfecfionism to it? like both of these products are conventionally beautifyin#products and kristoph while he is open to showing people he uses nail polish specifically chooses one that's clear and missable unless you#see him apply it. he also feels the need to justify his use of it and specifically spell it out as something he chooses to do rather than#needs to do even though duh. that should be obvious.#idk there's just something about his seeming need to take control of that narrative that i find interesting. his need to spin it into a#'there's nothing wrong with my nails but I had the foresight to see that even the smallest parts of my appearance should be kept immaculate#and it's a choice i'm making to refine an already adequate part of my personage /not/ to cover some unsightly defect.' the need to emphasis#that specifically is so. hm. and with klavier i could see it being a case of him liking makeup liking the pops of colour yet being unwillin#to admit to it because he's afraid that other people might see it as him being dissatisfied with his own appearance regardless of if he is#or isn't. or even just perceiving colourful makeup as being unseemly because it's so overt and unnatural.#like i can see this as them both viewing 'real' beauty to be that which is inherent to a person and seemingly effortless#thus somehow negating the beauty which one achieves through cosmetics or other external means.#and if you want to use external means to achieve beauty or neatness or whatever then your only valid options are those which blend into you#natural state. like clear nail polish. or really awful spray tan.#i feel like klavier's less confined by these ideas (if they hold merit at all) considering he actually owns coloured lipstick and he wears#jewellery (admittedly quite 'masculine' jewellery no gems or pearls or anything like that but jewellery nonetheless) but i think it just#makes it more interesting that he doesnt seem quite able to cross the line anyway. like it's that ingrained into his system.#anyway that's all i've got. you guys should tell me what you think too#annotations
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Based on somewhat real events
I spent way too much time drawing this...
But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you
A continuation (kinda)
#sometimes my skin smells too strongly and I hate it. I wanna crawl up and die. it's not that bad usually#only when I'm already overstimulated#there were 2 times where I was sick and I started crying and almost threw up because the smells were too strong#one time the smell of tge city. the other time it was roasted chicken. I still feel sick when I smell reheated chicken to this day#I'd love to have someone comfort me and rub my back in these moments but 1. I don't want anyone to touch me and#2. I feel like I don't deserve to be touched because it's an inconvenience to others#anyway enough about me. I am now projecting in these characters#I hate drawing their faces so much#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#young stan pines#art#fanart#traditional art#comic#long post#watercolor#forgot to mention but I can't take a shower when the sun is still up except if I was swimming in a pool/sea. no specific reason I just can'#projecting to Ford because Stan would never feel like that :/ oh well#is this cringe? maybe. probably. do I care? no. not really#I'm self diagnosing myself with 'definitely something wrong but not further specified' because this can't be normal#btw sorry if this is disappointing. I tried my best (the first part is pretty neat imo)#wonder if anyone is gonna read all of these tags#is this the worst thing you've seen yet?#teen stan#teen ford
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What in the toxic yaoi…..
#anthonn gremminger#marionetta#tonny marionetta#sahed marionetta#ringillusion#sahed x tonny#sahonny#bro it’s when I like tonny with sahed and julia more than sahed and julia together#maybe cause tonny is one of my favorite characters ever#pls pls pls plot twist where sahed actually likes Tonny but he confuses his feelings with julia as romance#PLS PLS IT’LL BE SO COOL#TOXIC YAOI THEY R EVERYTHING TO ME#or julia and tonny……. i will settle for them…#I finished reading all the released chapters#ITS THE WAY TONNY MAKES HER FEEL SAFE#is tonny fully innocent nah#i don’t trust him completely but he can do no wrong 😍 /j#he’ll protect her RAHHHH#It’s doomed het or toxic yaoi with me ig#or that strange doomed polycule#OH AND DOOMED YURI (Kamjul / Rainflower)
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[intro]
Bakugou is a prideful, arrogant person. He holds himself to the highest standard; he is the best and everyone else is simply below him. Everything he has ever done was in pursuit of being number one, shining above the rest. He has to have a perfect victory, he has to be a perfect student, he has to win to save.
He pushes and pushes and won’t let anyone see his weaknesses or his insecurities. He can never lose, he can never fail, he can never show that he regrets or hesitates or that he hasn’t thought everything through. He must never be vulnerable in every sense of the word.
Then why is he standing in the rain.
To apologize shouldn’t be a sacrifice, but it is for Bakugou. To pour his feelings, to admit his wrong, to let down all of the walls he has built and be vulnerable. And in front of his whole class.
He is willing to sacrifice his pride, to fully sacrifice any superiority he could have, to bare his soul and even risk rejection. Because he knows Midoriya is more important. Because he wants him to come home, he wants him to know his true feelings, because he wants things to change.
Because Midoriya has changed him. Midoriya has opened his eyes; by showing him he’s allowed to be open, that his feelings should be expressed, that he has so much to learn, and so much of that was learned through Midoriya just existing.
He isn’t sacrificing his safety frivolously because he’s expected to as a hero; he is doing it because he has grown. He is doing it because he has finally admitted to himself that he wants Midoriya to be with him and safe.
So I will sacrifice this for you. Not because it will change anything, as much as I want that I know that I can’t just fix all the wrong with just this. And I am willing to do as much as it takes to earn your forgiveness. But I don’t need that from you, not now and not ever if you don’t want that, I just need you to rest. I did so much wrong. And I am sorry for everything. You don’t have to do this alone. Lean on us. You are so strong and being supported doesn’t discount that. You’ve taught me that.
I hate the rain. But I will brave it for you.
He would do everything in his power, admit so many things, just to get Midoriya to take care of himself. We see him being the most vulnerable he has ever been in front of people that aren’t Midoriya. He does so much completely out of character, all in pursuit of being there for Midoriya.
For Izuku.
He finally gets over himself and finally tells Midoriya the feelings he has felt for so long.
He lets go of this idea he is inherently better and finally acknowledges that his hatred for Midoriya has always been about his own shortcomings and insecurities. But he still wants to be better, they are still rivals. He isn’t going to sacrifice that part of him because that is just who he is; he is still going to push to number one.
But now it’s different.
There is verbal and vocal acceptance and respect. Before it was unspoken; their relationship had changed ever since Ground Beta. They were proper rivals, with mutual respect and care, they were actively making each other better.
But Bakugo finally verbalizes it and tells Midoriya, not only is he sorry, but he wants to actually have a proper friendship; he wants to continue to become better and earn his forgiveness. He wants them to push each other to be better, he wants to continue to fight for the top spot, he still wants to be the best.
But when did it become something else?
When was the turning point when it started to shift from wanting to surpass Midoriya and be the best, to wanting to keep up with Midoriya and stay by his side?
Bakugou has already sacrificed himself for Midoriya before. His body moved on its own; with no hesitation, he would save Midoriya. He has already risked his life for him. But there is a layer to it that I don’t think people talk about.
He tells Midoriya he shouldn’t try to win this on his own.
He disguises his concern with an insistence that he’s in it to fight for himself when he initially joins the battle. But it is to fight by Midoriya’s side and support him.
But taking the hit for Midoriya, jumping in the way isn’t just support. This is sacrifice. This is giving yourself to ensure the safety of someone. And it was second nature.
There are two reasons and both are a sacrifice of something in the moment.
It is knowing someone is so valuable, so great, in all senses of the word, that they must be protected. Bakugou is sacrificing his body and admitting that Midoriya needs to stay alive, for personal reasons and/or for the world. He needs Midoriya to be okay, Midoriya can’t fight alone and Bakugou will do anything to make sure he will be okay.
But the sacrifice of ideology.
With every development, he has relinquished parts of himself. When he sacrifices himself he is not only sacrificing his body but is admitting that he can’t do this on his own; he needs Midoriya too. This isn’t him wanting to be better than Midoriya, it’s him wanting to do it together.
Midoriya changed him.
He doesn’t die for Midoriya. He wakes up and just as his last thought was Midoriya, so was his first as he woke up. He runs to his side. People are dragging him back, trying to have him rest, knowing before he even said anything that he would lose his mind over Midoriya’s situation.
Everyone sees how Bakugou feels about Midoriya.
He sacrifices himself because Midoriya can not die on him. Midoriya has to stay alive. Midoriya has to keep fighting.
There can not be a world that doesn’t have him in it.
This is the culmination of what has been developing ever since the final exam where Bakugou finally works with Midoriya; the day that win to save, save to win was noticed. Then furthered after Ground Beta where they finally talked to each other and something changed within them both.
But the final sacrifice is the culmination of Bakugou’s character.
He knows what this decision will mean. Everyone screams for him not to. He knows that he is going to die. He knows he will not win this fight.
This isn’t dying for the cause. This isn’t just a hero complex. This is because he can help Midoriya and he will. This is for Izuku.
I will sacrifice myself for you. To give you more time, to give you even the slightest chance of winning. I will sacrifice myself for you because you are who can win. I am going to die. I am going to die and in my final thoughts, I will ask if I will still be able to be by your side.
It is no longer can I beat you. It is no longer can I surpass you. It is can I still catch up to you. It is can I still even be equal to you. He has already sacrificed the idea that he could beat Midoriya, that isn’t what he wants anymore. What he wants is to stay here with him.
I will sacrifice everything I am. I have wanted to be the best. All my life I have wanted to surpass you and everyone around me. But you. I will let that go for you. I let it go in my mind for so long now and I have never wanted to admit it. Is it even possible? Is it even possible for me to catch up to you? Is it even possible for me to stay by your side. I can’t be that anymore. I am sacrificing even that now. I will never be number one now. I will never become the person I always dreamed to be. I will never surpass you. I am forever sacrificing that now. I will die here.
But can I still be with you?
The sacrifice of his life is him fully relinquishing everything he is, admitting that he can’t keep up, losing all of the progress he has made, letting go of everything that made up his character.
And the last thing on his mind is if he can still be able to be by Midoriya’s side.
He won’t let him go again.
#EDITED BC I REALIZED I DIDNT PUT A READ MORE SO IT MUST BE SO OBNOXIOUS#so I finally finished putting in the images and mustered up the courage to post it#I’m always so nervous about posting opinions or anything long bc I get super passionate and I’m scared it’s wrong—#i added pictures as evidence but in reality is was bc i was super insecure that no one would want to read all that--#the intro was so long and was also made to apply to both togachako and bakudeku so i just made it a masterpost instead#this is still very long i am sorry but i have so many thoughts#but like yeah this is just my little essay about sacrifice and love and how they’re intertwined#and it goes both ways#but that’s for another day and another essay#togachako follow the sacrifice and love perfectly#so I will probably write one for them as well… maybe#bkdk#bakudeku#bnha meta#bakudeku meta#bnha analysis#mha analysis#bnha spoilers#<- for the whole manga but cmon if ur reading this you know it all#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku
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I'll be honest gang if u aren't reading IT with the understanding that it's about childhood trauma and how it shapes u as an adult and prevents u from becoming a fully functioning, independent, balanced individual then we aren't reading the same book
#mayeb its just bc i have a laundry list of extensive childhood trauma but idk#listening to this podcast where these 2 guys r reading it (one has before#one hasnt) and im p sure both of them have said they had fairly stable and normal childhoods and its like. theres certain parts#where when they talk abt it im like ur missing the very obvious explaination behind literally everything here. its just trauma#this is all jist trauma man#idk maybe im wrong here. i dont think i am but still.#even if i am tho we still aint reading rhe same book lol#IT 1986#IT Stephen King#spam brain
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God, the bit in TSC where Jean is furious at the accusation that he didn't fight back because he did. Until one day he just couldn't get back up.
He was just a kid. He still is
#the sunshine court#tsc spoilers#jean moreau#am I doing a reread not 3 weeks later#maybe#am I going to cry just as many times reading this one?#oh absolutely#Like don't get me wrong#Neil is absolutely fucked up but he's always ready to throw down at a moment's notice#boy is absolutely feral#while jean just had the fight beaten out of him systematically until all he had left was the ability to get through
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i know there seems to be an implicit agreement about edwin acting all embarrassed when crystal walks in on him and charles making out but like.
consider.
this is edwin payne, the bitchiest gay this side of forever, king of such serves as "now you won't leave either" and "i'll jot that down in my journal of opinions i do not give a damn about"
he wouldn't give a single fuck about crystal. nonono. imagine, if you please: edwin, standing between charles' legs where they've been kissing each other quite enthusiastically, until crystal throws the door open, voice raised as she's almost launching into the details of what she's found out about their current case, only to stop and yell "holy shit--"
and edwin, without even looking at her, breaks the kiss, and says, voice terrifyingly even and absolutely acerbic, "it would be in your best interests to turn around and leave immediately, crystal" before he goes right back to kissing the unliving daylights out of charles
charles, meanwhile, just laughs and kisses him back.
#payneland#paynland#edwin payne#charles rowland#dead boy detectives#dbda#guys ive read so many fics where edwin's edwardian sensibilities have him all embarrassed after being walked in on and don't get me wrong#i love every single fic!! i do!! i really really do!! this fandom is so amazing and talented#BUT CONSIDER#this.#just. this.#maybe ill actually write this we'll see#let edwin payne be the absolute bitch he is
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one of my favorite things about pride and prejudice is that in the last third of the book Elizabeth’s internal monologue about Darcy is her admitting that she’s in love with him but also putting all sorts of qualifications around that statement that kind of ...tamp down the level of emotion (the “feelings, if not as tender as Jane’s for Bingley, at least as just” line, even the whole thing about her and Darcy being well-matched objectively speaking) and as soon as she’s engaged you get the unbridled joy in the narrative about her own joy, cc: “I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.”
#pride and prejudice#jane austen#this is very obvious but it's in the narration itself#that she's trying to sort of distance herself from the depths of her own feelings in case this DOESN'T work out#i also think the rational stuff is totally true and she would say that after as well but she would say it in a different way#idk i just love it. it's so subtle and it's so true#also very obvious?? i feel like i'm making a very obvious point#but anyway 'elizabeth's feelings soon rising to playfulness etc. etc.'#also this is why i hated the end of a civil contract actually#i felt like she was tamping it all down and for some reason it just made me SO mad#like no. it's supposed to OVERFLOW NOW#adam being like 'and in the end the rational choice was jenny' sir i will FIGHT YOU IN THE PARKING LOT#idk i was student teaching and very emotional at the time maybe i missed something and read it wrong#but my entire spirit REBELED#like. how honestly DARE#i'm avoiding grading can you tell#yes you can I will go now
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chat i think im gonna be sick
(Powers of X #6)
#xmen#xmen comics#powers of x#charles xavier#snap scans#snap chats#moira stronger than me like ik why we here we're gonna die if not and so that is why she is stronger than me she is committing#i woulda kissed him in this moment too tho she and i are family on that front im afraid i do find him very cute#also. SIDE TANGENT. i loved the art before this of charles slowly processing the horrors of moiras mind ...#EXCELLENT art i must eat it at once#the most devious part of this is after i finished reading i went to go to my brother to talk about What I Read#and the second i pulled up like 'his sad eyes Brother im gonna be sick' he immediately quoted this page I HATE IT HERE#thats why they had to put that dome over charles' eyes so no one could look at his sad eyes anymore#this is in fact something i love and always love seeing but it still hurts i will not LIIIEEE#cant wait to read bout how this all goes horribly wrong ....#while my bro and i were talkin we were talkin bout other in-between stories an i wanna check those out at some point ...#maybe ill check my comic shop sometime in the future idk. for now im gonna throw up !!!!!!!!!!#i will simply spend tomorrow watching the rest of 92 im almost done with it. relatively speaking i will feel healed then probably#i got like two seasons left which is basically the same length as season 3 and then its onto 97#thats just one season for now so ... should finish that quick ..#ok bye i have Being Sick to be
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nyalon
#talon LOVES eye contact...originally it was power move thing to intimidate others but now its also more he#doesn't like to really Share much about his status or feelings or anything so he'll stare at you hoping you can read his mind thru his eyes#i like to think that smunker and al ''decode it'' eventually ykwim#not realistic at all but more like how in the venture bros the venture family can all understand H.E.L.P.E.R even tho he just Beeps#talkys#oc text#maybe only in silly context though bc its part of talon's plight that he cant get help if nobody know's whats wrong#qnd he struggles so much to share it#talon
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