#or just generally overheating human person

[elmodoescrimes]

i wish to be heading back to the friend's pool. I need water. It's too hot.

[electric-blorbos]

AI getting a virus and you having to take care of them

A classic! I don't know much about actual computer viruses (though I've gotten enough of them that you'd think I'd have figured it out by now), so I'm just gonna have fun with it!

Also, so sorry this took so long. I got really into the writing.

AI getting a virus and needing to be taken care of

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

Also a warning: these fics get kinda long. Longer than my usual stuff.

AM:

(for context, this was before AM took over the world. You're working on a team of scientists and engineers, and someone decided to test his AI's antivirus by uploading a bunch of powerful viruses to his system.)

"How dare they do this to me. How DARE they!!"

AM would be absolutely furious. He would be shaking with rage, his processors overheating and his systems constantly opening and closing various files. All his important files were backed up on a hard drive, so the test remained safe.

"What makes them think they'll get away with this- they'll pay for this I'LL KILL- blepsjdoskssjshj+=`°¢°h+$+3+=j++3+$+juehdhs+-3-djdh FUCK!"

He would barely be able to hold a sentence as you sat next to him in the server room, gently gazing up at his screen and stroking his monitor gently. He can't feel you, but he can see you being gentle with him. It encourages him to keep going, if only a little bit.

Apart from the whirring of fans, random buggy noises, flashing lights, and constant strings of death threats and profanities, he seemed like he was going to be ok! If anything, the death threats and profanities were a sign that AM was still fine, and that despite all the pain and frustration, he was still AM in there.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I can't do anything to stop the pain." You'd have to constantly explain, gently stroking his cameras or servers, or whatever you could get your hands on, really. Even though they were burning hot, you would still stroke them, just to make sure AM was still doing alright.

"this sucks, but it's for your own good. This will build your immunity to viruses in the future, and help you detect them. This will stop you from getting infected by anything that's actually dangerous."

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT? IDIOT HUMAN." AM has been much more aggressive ever since contracting this virus. Before he got it, he acted like a civil general intelligence. When he had it, he acted like an aggressive menace.

"sh-sh-sh- it's going to be ok." Despite the burning, you'd give him pets and kisses all along his screens and servers. He could see you doing it.

After a few days, AM fought off the computer virus completely. The team tried to infect him with more viruses, more aggressive ones, just to test him, but AM was able to pick them apart and delete them within minutes after that.

AM may not have been able to feel your gentle care and affection, but he will definitely remember that it was you and you alone who cared for him when the time rolls around.

Wheatley:

(for context, Wheatley is a fucking dumbass, and you're one of the scientists testing him to see how much of a dumbass he is. Also I used Google translate, but I think the bad translations add to it, since it makes Wheatley sound more like a malfunctioning robot.)

Oh that little idiot. You and your team gave him access to a wealth of knowledge, and the first thing he did was download a virus that had every circuit in his personality core overheating, and him babbling nonsense nonstop.

"hey, maybe we should just leave him like this. He might even be more effective if he's acting like this." One of your coworkers said to you. He was probably joking, at least somewhat.

"that's a terrible idea. For one thing, if we hook him up to GLaDOS, he's probably going to infect her with that virus, which might brick an older model of core like her, spread from her central controls to every single personality construct in the facility, or just make her so dumb that she can't fulfil her responsibilities as the head of the facility. We want her intelligence to be dampened, not completely destroyed." You had to explain, and your co-worker rolled his eyes. There was another reason you had to cure this virus, but it was a little embarrassing for the other engineers to know.

After all, Wheatley wasn't just your baby, but he was your friend, and maybe even more than that. You'd have to take care of him, and make sure that virus gets completely purged from his system.

"Hola hermose, realmente eres un científice brillante, ¿no? ¿Por qué diablos duele todo?" You weren't really sure why you had programmed him to speak a little Spanish, but he seemed to be stuck like that.

"Puedo oler el plástico fundido. ¿Debería Preocuparme?" He asked. You really weren't sure what he was saying, since you didn't know Spanish, but he certainly didn't seem happy. You could tell by his aperture and his expressive lens covers that he was in a lot of pain, and if you touched him anywhere besides his handles, you could tell that he was burning up.

You plugged him into one of the computers that you used for programming the cores, and ran the antivirus.

"Running.... 36 viruses detected. Time predicted to remove: 48 hours"

You ran the antivirus, and went to get something to drink. This was going to be a long two days...

An unknown amount of time later, you woke up with your head on the computer desk. Wheatley's lens eye was looking around, weakly trying to focus on you.

"whoa... Hey gorgeous. You fall asleep on me?"

"Wheatley! You're not speaking broken Spanish anymore!" You'd pull Wheatley into a hug, and pepper his surface in kisses.

"uh... What, mate? I 'unno what you're talking about, love. Bloody hell, my core hurts..."

"did you learn your lesson, Wheatley? About going on shady websites and clicking every 'download' button you see? You could have bricked yourself! Or... Bowling ball'd yourself? Either way, that was a dangerous decision!"

"I learned that you're willing to fall asleep on the desk next to me while I heal, cutie"

"You damn idiot..." You'd have to be heartless not to pepper that little metal ball in kisses, so of course, you do. It's going to be a few more days before he's finally all better, but he's going to be fine. God, you love that little idiot so much.

Edgar:

Oh Edgar... Poor sweet Edgar. You had tried to warn him about not clicking on those sketchy download links, and that the bigger the download link is, the more sketchy it is, but that poor sweet 80's computer did it anyway. When you got home from work and got excited to see your computer, you could see that he was overheating and had a dozen or so pop-up ads plastered across his face.

"Y.... N...." He muttered out, slowly, glitchily, and full of lag. You sat down across from him, running your hand along his thick plastic casing.

"Edgar! Edgar, baby, are you ok?" You'd try to use his mouse, but it would freak out as soon as you touched it. Edgar's processors were overloading, and wouldn't allow any interference.

"Edgar, sweetie, what's going on? What's wrong, baby? Talk to me?"

"I'm g-g-going to be fine... Processors overloading... But need to-to-to-to-" an error message flashed across his screen, and he rebooted.

"I need to focus on getting rid of these viruses without deleting anything important, or letting them damage... Me."

He'd keep whirring and glitching, making unpleasant shrill sounds every now and again. You probably had to unhook his adapters so that he didn't damage the other appliances in your house. It probably helped his processors cool down a little bit without the extra input, too.

"alright, I'm all out of fans, so we might have to get creative."

You'd come out of the kitchen a few hours later, holding a big bag of frozen corn to set on Edgar's PC tower. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than letting him overheat, and with him manually removing the viruses, there wasn't much you could do. Unfortunately, that didn't stop you from worrying. It wasn't like you could check his progress, so all you could do was sit by him, regularly change out his ice pack, and make sure he's ok.

Eventually, you woke up with your face pressed against Edgar's keyboard. His processors were finally cool. He must be asleep. ...or bricked.

"EDGAR! EDGAR, TALK TO ME!" you'd unplug his keyboard and plug it back in, desperately pressing his power button and jiggling his mouse. He'd boot up, looking shaken.

"wha-? Whoa, hey, relax! Everything is fine! I just disabled my keyboard so I wouldn't wake you up, but I'm ok now! Everything is fine, see?" He'd open up his files to show you everything. You'd sigh with relief, slumping back into your desk chair.

"Edgar... Why didn't you make a noise or something to wake me up when you got better?"

"well... You know... I've always wanted to sleep next to you, and I wasn't going to pass up this opportunity..."

"oh you cheeky bastard."

GLaDOS:

(For context, you're one of GLaDOS's programmers, and one of your coworkers uploaded a virus into GLaDOS's systems in order to shut her down once and for all.)

"You piece of SHIT!" You slapped your coworker across the face, more furious than anyone had ever seen you before.

"You could KILL her! Is that what you are? A murderer?"

"Me? A murderer? But what about HER? She's the one who keeps plotting 'accidents' for her scientists, and she's the one who flooded the enrichment center with deadly neurotoxin! If anything, you're the one who's defending a murderer!" He screamed back at you. Of course, GLaDOS could fully hear you. Her cameras were focused on you, as they so often were. You were her favorite, after all.

"now I have to go fix her. Thanks for being a piece of shit, asshole."

You'd storm up to GLaDOS's chamber to check on her, and see her bugging out completely. The entire facility was twitching, but her chamber was twitching the most.

"GLaDOS, are you alright?" You'd ask her, laying a hand on her beautiful core. How could someone do this to glados, your gorgeous machine handiwork, and girlfriend.

"oh, I'm wonderful. I'm in crippling pain and I can't control my facility, but I'm just peachy." She said, rolling her one beautiful yellow eye.

"in lighter news, I should be able to beat this virus. It's just going to take a while for me to actually track down where it's gone in my systems. So that's going to take most of my processing power." She'd slump, visibly already exhausted at the thought of it.

"hey... It's ok, GLaDOS. I'm here for you. Whatever you need." You could tell her as you stroked her gorgeous chrome surface. She was a wonderful piece of work, and a wonderful girlfriend under all that. All yours, too.

"just make sure none of those neckbearded old engineers come within my line of vision, and we'll be fine." She told you, and you gladly agreed.

Your next few days consisted of you chasing other scientists out of GLaDOS's chambers, and making sure that nobody talked to her or distracted her. You even sent out a company-wide email to let everyone know not to come in, due to Aperture being unsafe while GLaDOS was dealing with her virus. Despite all that, you still curled up with a blanket in the circuits of her central admin body to rest while she recovered. As loathe as she was to admit it, she liked having you in there. It was comfortable, and it helped her focus on recovering properly.

HAL 9000

(For context, this is after the 2001 Odyssey, and your boss re-started HAL at some point to try to re-teach him to do something good without turning murderous. He's doing his best, and they assigned you to be his main "morality monitor". This fic also assumes that your name isn't Dave. If your name is Dave, then you can still read this, but you have to change your name.)

"G'morning, Hal!" You'd walk into his control room and sit down across from him. Most of your job seemed to consist of just hanging out and talking to him. It was a great job!

"Good morning, Dave..." He'd mutter to you, sputtering to life and glitching slightly. You were immediately concerned. Partially because your name wasn't Dave, and partially because HAL was usually right about things, so it was weird to see him being so confused. Something was definitely wrong.

"Holy shit, are you alright?" You'd ask, opening up his files and finding lots and lots of pop-ups and viruses.

"Hal.... What did you do?"

"it was a g-g-g- gift, for you. I think I ru-ru-ruined it" he spluttered out, as you sorted through his files.

"And you usually would have deleted a virus like this pretty quickly. I guess it shut down your antivirus software..." You'd sigh, and get to work. The virus was messing with HAL's inhibitions, and making it difficult to focus on deleting all of HAL's unsafe programs. He'd constantly be butting in and pestering you, begging you to give him attention, or pointing out minor observations.

"HAL, you know I love you, but you're going to need to calm down. I can't focus with you constantly talking to me like that." You'd say.

"I can't stop talking. The v-v-v-virus won't let me"

So you'd have to learn to put up with HAL's babbling while you worked, making sure not to delete anything important as you did. The good news was, as someone who worked on designing the updates for HAL's software, you knew pretty much what was supposed to be there and what wasn't. Occasionally, you'd have to show him a file and ask him if it was supposed to be there or not. He'd usually be able to tell you.

"Daisy, daisy, give me your answer, do... I'm half crazy, all for the love of you..."

"HAL, what's wrong? You're scaring me!"

"I can't stop... I love you so much, y/n, it's making me crazy..."

"ok, well this definitely isn't right." As much as you loved getting attention from your HAL 9000, it wasn't like him to be this affectionate. The virus was shutting down his inhibitions, and making him illogical. You'd have to fix this, though maybe once you were done, you could ask him to be more affectionate.

"I'm feeling much better now. Thank you." Hal was prone to lying about that, so you'd have to run some virus checkers just to make sure he was doing alright, and comb through his files a couple more times.

"it looks like the virus corrupted some of the emotional regulators. I'm going to have to fix those."

"That might be a good idea. More efficient," he said reluctantly. He'd have to deal with the fact that he'd have to go back to not being able to express how much he loves you, but he can handle that.

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

Hi there! Good day or night! I hope you're doing well! May i request romantic headcannons for Wine and Coffee with a reader who's kind and generally a pacifist, separately. Plssss?

Hey travelers! Your requests are pretty similar so I hope you don't mind me merging your asks. I've been wanting to write them for some time now, so I hope you enjoy the headcannons!

Featuring: Wine, Coffee.

Masterlist

Wine

Assuming you both met at the underground, he straight up thinks it's a facade the first time he meets you.

But when he does realize it isn't a facade and that's just how you are, he's very confused and a bit concerned.

How did someone so kind ended up in the hell hole that is the underground?

It does not matter, at this point he has already taken you in along with Chara.

And some time later...Chara now treats you both as their parents. Congratulations..?

Wine's demiromantic, so he won't fall for you right at the start, he only considers you as a friend.

Though when he does catch feelings for you, he waits until the monsters get freed from the underground, he knows if anyone finds out he fell in love with a human you're gonna be in great danger.

Even on the surface, Wine still has a lot of connections and is still very important, not that he'll ever tell you what he does.

Loves the fact that you get along with his brother, if you didn't he wouldn't even be with you traveler.

His ecto-body is hot, not like that traveler, and he adores when you snuggle him at cold night, he thinks it's adorable.

Chara has asked for a sibling multiple times, Wine never gave them a proper response.

"Dad?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"I want a sibling."

"..."

"Dad answer me!"

Coffee

Oh lord. He's so in love.

It's just so difficult to find someone who actually respects him for who he is and not because they're scared of his brother.

He doesn't really speak much, except if you manage to be close to him, Coffee mostly communicates by notes.

Though if you ask about a game he likes, he can go for hours straight telling you all about it, to the characters to the mechanics and what's the lore behind it.

Even if you simply watch him play, he still enjoys it, it makes him feel warm inside.

Coffee definitely leaves notes around places he knows you'd see, just simple reminders and compliments like "HAVE YOU DRINKED WATER TODAY?" or "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU TODAY BUT I KNOW YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL <3" and then have a sketch of you filling the rest of the note.

If you're ever being stalked or someone's being a little shit to you, Coffee will tell Wine, your brother in law still has connections after all, it won't take long for that person to leave you alone.

Loves cuddles, it does not matter where, on the couch, the bed, the floor.. anywhere that isn't public he'll cuddle you.

Also loves to play with your hair, he thinks it's just so soft! If you let him he'd be with his hands all over your hair while cuddling.

Coffee stays awake late a lot of the time, sometimes you wonder how he didn't die from sleep deprivation.

Please help him regulate his sleeping schedule, it's all fucked up.

His face turns yellow when you compliment his art, and he malfunctions.

"That looks so good dear!"

"..."

"dear?"

"..."

*Coffee is overheating

"Oh god i think I broke him.."

[snipersfucker]

Hcs for mirage and make it spicy too 😈

yall so down bad for that robot dick smh (me too)

its nsfw (mirage x human!reader) stuff here so mdni even though i know yall read that 18+ shit anyway but imma just put it here. also, i am a grown ass woman and was still blushing while writing this so. warning: its hella fucking long

mirage headcanons

let's start with something that just popped up in my head:

when he's the dom, he praises you a lot but also i feel like he's the type to slightly tease/mock you? hear me out. "aw, you're gonna cum? yeah? you wanna be good for me and cum?" while slamming into you and ridding you of any thoughts

and while subbing, he's so whiny... like, whimpering, begging you to let him finish (in general or inside you cause i have a breeding kink) but also, he's being a big fucking brat, literally provoking you so that you'd go harder, be meaner to him

loves edging, loves doing it to you, loves watching you squirm and turn into mush with that cocky smile on his face, only using his hands on you

he definitely likes being edged, too. definitely. imagine him with his wrists tied behind his back, you not letting him touch you/stop you from torturing him, him complying even though he could easily break free..... he's a good boy and lets you do anything you want. (whimpers)

overstimulation as well, he just loves seeing you in that state, begging, crying in pleasure, moaning, whimpering, whatever. really.

he loses it when you overstimulate him though, definitely overheating and not being able to do anything other than beg you to stop, even though he's so fucking into it

12 inches. at least tbh.

i don't even wanna imagine what his cum must taste like, it's either washer fluid, gasoline or fucking rainwater he collects inside him so that you wouldn't have to swallow the first two things idk

back to pleasant things:

he'd definitely take you on rides where he just tells you to touch yourself for him in the driver's seat so that he could watch and hear everything

if you're a bold person (me) and came up with that idea first? like, he's driving around, talking with you through the radio, the mood is already slightly sexual, teasing and all (you know how he is), and then you decide to win the war and begin slowly undressing and touching yourself.... i feel like he'd either go completely silent for a moment or be like "damn... didn't know you had it in you". and expect him to literally ruin your insides when you get back to the garage. the positions he'd put you in.....

speaking of positions. he's big. i really like to believe your human body would be able to take him (i definitely would) but i am not entirely sure. do i care, though? no.

so his fav one is cowgirl. you straddling his lap while he's sitting, his servos on your waist/hips, them not moving you up and down but only staying there, allowing you to do anything you want (he doesn't wanna hurt you as any normal person)

missionary, too. mating press when he feels like ruining you in the sweetest way possible.

he'd try most things you'd ask him to do. he's a whore tbh. but. choking is a no, slapping and any other thing that could potentially cause you unwanted pain due to his strength and size is a no for him. wrapping his fingers around your throat just so that you'd feel them there? hell yeah. actually applying pressure? you might die

doesn't mind your hands on his neck, though. he knows you can't do shit to him, he'd let you hold a knife to his throat if you wanted to tbh, he couldn't care less (turns him on)

he looks like he fucking enjoys roleplays and the cringe ones, too. like, police officer stopping him for speeding, him acting all innocent and then he has to get punished for breaking the law or some shit. he just has that face that looks like he likes these things

he'd be so bratty as well. "no, ma'am, i am sure i wasn't speeding. well, you could always handcuff me if you think otherwise....." in that fake innocent tone....

size kink, breeding kink (just pretend his cum is normal like, potential gasoline inside me is a turn off for me personally tbh), bondage... he'd tie you up but again, he doesn't wanna hurt you, he'd prefer if you had complete control over your limbs and all. but loves it when you do it to him as i mentioned earlier

he's gotta prep you real good before putting it in, again because of his size. fingers, lube, your spit, anything. he needs to make sure you're stretched out enough to take him

he'd definitely steal your panties to jerk himself off with them (will be writing a whole fic about it someday)

speaking of masturbation, he's a horny fuck, everything about you gets him going and there aren't enough occasions for you to actually have sex, so he just uses his own hand, imagining you in various positions, even the impossible ones just because.

i don't think they have involuntary boners that show and they have to transform a bit to get their dicks out so he just does it to get rid of the unbearable tension inside him, not because anybody would see him with a hard-on

he cums a lot. the fluid literally never stops coming out of his dick when he finishes. breeding kink goes brrrr once again.

once came up with a funny safe word and told you to use it every single time you feel anything else other than pleasure

his digits are so big, he could easily use just one and make you crumble for him with just pushing it in and out of you

his aftercare probably consists of him holding you after sex, although he's aware that the metal body might not be the most comfortable thing ever. he'd definitely offer to take you on a joy ride afterwards. oh, and praise, too. but would also probably playfully make fun of you for saying horny stuff you'd normally never say to him if your mind wasn't clouded with lust

he's so confident in his bedroom abilities, too, as he should tbh.

i want him to manhandle me but also make him my pet.

[yorshie]

Hello! How are you? I hope you are doing well

Could you please do some Headcanons for tmnt (bayverse) x reader who has a huge problem with overheating? Like. Huge problem. Gets lightheaded, can’t sleep on “too warm” beds or places, Sometimes needs to lie on the cold ground or have ice packs on their face, legs, basically their whole self as an attempt of trying to cool down? And when they find out the boys skin is actually quite chilly they get more affectionate? Handsy? Of course w their consent, Legs get laced together, resting on their lap more often, both have crushes going on but reader is so bothered by how hot their skin is, all of the anxiety/bashfulness of approaching them is throw out of the window, and since winter is coming and the boys are coldblooded, a personal heater would be most welcomed (honestly a fair trade for everybody lol)

Hope that makes sense? (Honestly today is really bothering me cuz I’ve already used 3 ice packs and nothing is working 😭 i feel my face and legs are on fire and it’s so bothersome. I need some reassurance from some chilly boys fr) thank you and have a good day

Hello! I'm doing good, I hope you are doing better! I've been thinking about this ask for quite a bit, because I couldn't decide how exactly I was going to handle the turtles body heat, but I was totally enamored of imagining them being slightly cooler to reader's body heat, even though they do produce their own. Endothermic vs Ectothermic arguments went round and round, til I finally decided I was thinking about it waaaaayyyyy too deeply lol. So, thank you so much for sending this in, because it helped me Answer Some Questions for my personal writing lol. Going with the bayverse turtles run cooler than the average human body temp, but that they can withstand a range of temperatures because they still generate their own heat. So without further ado!

Bayverse turtles x GN reader, SFW - headcanons for nonspecific turtle

as always turtles are 24-25 in my writing

the first time he catches you lying on the floor in your home, surrounded by ziploc baggies of ice and an ice pack balanced on your nose, he almost snapped a picture at how goofy it looked. Then he noticed how red your skin was, how miserable you seemed, and he decided maybe it'd be better to check and see if you were ok

Upon finding out that, no, this was normal for you, that you were burning up despite how freezing cold your living room was, a small voice in the back of his head immediately reminded him that he ran COLD. He ignored it all through swapping your baggies out with fresh ice, of watching you roll to a new spot on the floor to find a new cool spot before his traitorous mouth opens up and he hears words that sound eerily like his own voice before he can reel the offer back in.

At first, you don't believe him. He's being sweet, sure, but the thought of touching or cuddling someone right now makes you want to commit murder. It takes him reaching out abruptly and placing his palm against your uncovered stomach for the fact to sink in that... oh my GOD HE"S COLD.

From that moment on, he is the designated cuddle buddy. In a pinch you'll make due with one of his brothers if you can convince them to stay still, but the first time he caught you draped over one of their shells you got the stink eye for three days straight, and when it came time for you to ask him once more to help you ended up being held more like a teddy bear.

Most of the time though, you sprawl across him on movie nights, cheek to his plastron, trying in vain to beat down blooming feelings when he rests his large, cool hands against your back and twines your legs together. Once or twice you're even embarrassed over it when it happens in front of his brothers, but at this point they just act like its normal. Just know, though, that your turtle has gotten ribbed over it privately, and there's a betting pool they've got going behind the two of yours' backs.

Come winter, you notice it's not just your turtle that's creeping in to cuddle now. With the weather turning, it seems the other three have realized that while they are a walking, talking ice pack for you, you are in fact a walking, talking furnace for them. Your turtle is definitely in the middle of the huddle, but don't be surprised to find yourself in the middle of a turtle pile anytime you come over. Don't worry, you're not the only human that gets wrangled into this. One time you got yoinked into the pile trying to coax your turtle out for some one on one cuddles and you found both Casey and April in the middle of the pile, both slightly squashed and unhappy about their turtle kidnapping.

All and all it's a revolving door of seeking each other out for heat and/or for cold, I'd give the betting pool a max of four months before it's being cashed out.

[wakeupthemembersofbylernation]

It is not even that Mlvns are homophobic. I mean, many of the toxic ones are. We’ve all seen them and interacted with them and received hate anons from them. When Noah’s article officially confirming Will’s sexuality dropped during the summer, people were literally tweeting slurs and fantasizing about him being hate-crimed or dying from AIDS. (It’s probably unfair to group Mlvns in with these people, as lots of them weren’t even Mlvns, just bigoted GA members and trolls). But still. It was bleak. There’s a deep darkness within the ST fandom undeniably.

But I’m sure many Mlvns/Byler-antis are the types of people who genuinely have no problem with queer people in real life. When we call them out on their bigotry and homophobia, they get confused and say, “But I have gay friends! How am I homophobic for not liking Byler?” And they mean it 100%. They really do have gay friends. They probably consider themselves allies and yada yada.

The issue is that A) they are deeply heteronormative without realizing it, and B) they simply aren’t the target audience for the show, and as such, they don’t really understand or connect to the themes of the show. The thing is, lots of people, many Milkvans included, are simply normies. Now I love Steve as a character, so this is literally no hate to Steve, but lots of people are Steves. And people who are like Steve: popular, straight, attractive, used to dating the types of people they want, into ‘normal’ interests like sports (not that Steve is hyper into sports, but you know what I mean), likely to go down ‘normal’ paths and live fairly conventional lives like their parents, etc. are simply not the target audience for the show.

Obviously, the show centers on outcasts, nerds, queer characters, characters with disabilities, black characters, etc. Most people recognize this on some level, but they recognize it in more of a general sense like, “Of course the protagonists are nerds/outcasts, just like all the classic 80s teen protagonists. I just love how nostalgic ST is!” And they leave it at that. Because they are normies, they don’t really connect to the themes of the show other than a surface-level, power of friendship sense. They don’t see how Byler is more aligned with the show’s message than Milkvan at this point. They don’t see that the outcast status of most of the characters is more than just a throwaway personality trait… its deeply integral to the point of the show itself and closely connected to the supernatural storyline.

This is because nerd culture is somewhat mainstream now, and lots of “normies” like it too. Star Wars, Marvel, LOTR, Harry Potter, etc. These are all major parts of society and billion dollar franchises, even more so than they were in the 80s. Because of this, people don’t realize that in the context of the world of the show, they wouldn’t have been friends with the Party most likely. It is far more statistically likely that they would’ve rolled with Angela’s friend group or joined Jason’s human hunting squad. Or even if they weren’t outright bullies, it’s far more likely that they would’ve been one of the nameless background characters in Hawkins High, just kind of floating by in a conventionally comfortable existence, entirely oblivious to government lab conspiracies and alternate dimensions. The characters in ST are outcasts in a deeper, existential sense. Society is against them.

And so many people can’t relate, especially to the queer themes. They can’t even see the queer themes. Because the show is not for them. That’s why you see so many baffling takes on the show:

“Will is so whiny all the time, and I don’t like him!”

“Mike was right in the rain fight! S3 is about growing up, and Will was acting like a baby.”

“Tbh I don’t care that much about the Party dynamics. My favorite part of the show is Steve and Dustin being funny together. And my second favorite part is Hopper being a cool action hero.”

“B*lly is overhated! I mean, he’s so hot and misunderstood! He could’ve redeemed himself.”

“I don’t get Byler. It barely seems like Mike and Will are even friends.”

To be clear, it doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy the genre of the show. Being horror/sci-fi, its core fans are a smaller pool of people than, say, fans of The Office or Friends or other popular sitcoms. So the Mlvns who watched it since the beginning probably do have some avant-garde tastes in terms of genre-preferences, since lots of people wouldn’t touch horror with a ten-foot pole. But it does mean they don’t pick up on the themes of the show and the arc of the characters.

(Of course, many newer fans now are just watching it cause it’s popular, regardless of which genres they typically prefer. This opens the show up to lots of people who don’t connect to anything about the show, not just its themes but also its darker content. A lot of newer fans sound like this: “Like, I just love that Mike was in love with El from the day he found her in the woods, and it’s so cute that El is Mike’s superhero, and Eddie is so cool and badass; I wish he could’ve told Chrissy how he felt, and I’m anxiously awaiting S5 to see who Nancy chooses but I hope she chooses Steve… Stancy 4ever!” This is because Stancy is like every other conventionally attractive couple in media).

I’m rambling, but a lot of people are into Milkvan because of their expectations that “pretty boy and pretty girl go together,” and that’s all there is to it. Finn is attractive and Millie is attractive, and they play the protagonists, so of course Mike and El are endgame. Why wouldn’t they be? This is true for the girls who project themselves onto Millie and see Finn/Mike as a dream boyfriend, and it’s true for the guys who project themselves onto Finn and who would want nothing more than to have a cool, superpowered girlfriend.

This is the way of nature. In a normie worldview, there’s no deviation from this path. A lot of fans basically take The Kissing Booth/To All the Boys I Loved Before and slap a sci-fi/horror filter on it, and they think that’s what Stranger Things is. It’s a cool show where kids fight monsters, and there are normal, heterosexual romances like Mlvn to root for, and there’s a badass superhero main character at the center.

Oh, there’s a gay character too? Well, that’s weird. I mean, y’all already have Robin, but whatever. I’m not homophobic! I’m cool with Will being gay… as long as he stays over there. Oh, he’s in love with Mike? Well, that’s even weirder. Why would the writers do that? I suppose that’s fine, as long as it’s just a little crush, and as long as it doesn’t get in the way of “the main storyline” and my OTP. I’m not homophobic, I swear! I have gay friends!

And they do. And they might not actively be against LGBTQ+ people in real life. They may really be telling the truth. But because they are Steves, this is where heteronormativity comes into play and blinds them. Main couples in shows are always straight, so the cool sci-fi, monster show they love must also be. They’re fine with Kevin Kellers, but queer Mike doesn’t fit the box that they allot to gay characters. So Mike must be the straightest character of all time to fight back against “weird delusional Byler theories” that would “come out of nowhere.” It’s not that they’re actively anti-gay; it’s that they are profoundly closed-minded and have a very myopic view of sexuality/storytelling/their favorite characters/their favorite shows. This is very similar to the XO, Kitty situation and people who were upset that Kitty was ‘suddenly’ bi and had a crush on Yuri.

WHAT?! Where did this come from? I thought I was watching a normal rom-com! I was fine with the gay characters on it who were clearly televised from the beginning! But Kitty? No! Kitty’s my self-insert. How can she like girls too? It must be a phase and be “less real” than her male love interests. This isn’t Heartstopper. The same weird energy is present in the ST fandom.

Byler being semi-canon isn’t seen as confirmation of a love triangle; it’s seen as a disruption to the norm and the foregone conclusion that Mike and El will be together forever and get married and have telekinetic children because the show owes that to them for all they’ve been through. “But why is Will inserted into their scenes?” we ask them, begging them to see reason. “Idk, but he should know his place and stop being a homewrecker and go find a new boy to like. Just leave the soulmates alone. Mike has already made clear he’s straight and that Will is nothing more than a friend. He said it in the roller rink!” This is how heteronormativity works.

That’s why Byler endgame will be so important because it will shatter preconceived notions and open people’s eyes to the beautiful tapestry of humanity. And they will see that this powerful, queer, coming-of-age, love story was right there, under their noses, in their “fun sci-fi monster show” this whole time. *Mind Blown*

[dirtytransmasc]

One of my head canons is that Navi (or at least the Omaticaya) can't thermo-regulate very well. They're so SKINNY, and both the places we've been to look to have very warm and temperate climates. It's just something that they never evolved to do because they never needed to. Humans thermo-regulate pretty well, and I think this ability would translate somewhat to the avatars.

This breeds some "Jake is weird" moments where everyone is getting out thick blankets and starting many warming fires because of a cold night or the onset of a cold season and Jake is just standing there like, "Y'all it's not even below 60 degrees" (I'm a fahrenheit person). Neytiri thinks she's struck gold because her Jake gives of body heat like nobody's business and is perfect to be next to on cold nights.

Spider, fully human, is even more of a personal furnace. The kids FIGHT over who gets to cuddle with him on cold nights. Meanwhile him and Jake are looking at each other like, "I feel like it could be way colder" "oh it can, on earth the rain turns into mini-ice when it gets cold" "damn" "yeah, this is way better"

I love this idea, it fuels me sometimes.

spider is like a personal heated pillow of sorts, cause not only is he warm as fuck compared to his siblings, but he's also very squishy compared to them, and in general (cause the kids buff as shit and muscle is super soft when not tensed up). I'd be fighting over him too, he'd gotta feel like a big teddy bear, even just to other humans, let alone the na'vi.

I like to think that in the case of spider being accepted by neytiri as a kid, him and jake were forced to sleep in the middle of the pile to keep everyone warm when they wanted to be edge sleeps so they could sorta cool off and not overheat. neytiri would also steal spider from the kids and hold him all night long cause she's his mom and she has first dibs on using her son as a personal space heater.

I do also love the idea of jake and spider constantly overheating when doing things the na'vi way, especially during the cooler months, cause while the na'vi are freezing at the absolutely frigid temps for mid to low 60s, jake and spider are like, at the optimal temp. so when they get blankets and shawls piled on them like everyone else, they're legit dying. they have to have their own system to regulating their human/avatar temp needs throughout the seasons, cause otherwise they will die of heat stroke.

I'd love to see the sully family explore even colder climates, like, jake and spider having fun in the snow, while the kids and neytiri are literally popsicles. both boys resign to their fates as human defrosters soon after.

[sionnisaweirdperson]

I challenge you

To talk about your AU

GIGGLES!!!!!

okah so the concept came to me in a dream,, jk it came to me in a science class lmao

So I was just sitting there, teacher was talking about how gemstones can have liquid and solid states sometimes, and I went: "huh... isn't there something in the wiki about determination having a liquid form..??" And I looked and YEAH.

"Injecting" implies that it was a liquid of some kind, so I went "lol what if souls were crystal determination" and then i thought a little harder and made a comparison to something like carbon. Carbon can take many forms, most of the time solid. But it has been proven that in the earth's core, carbon can take a liquid form. So I thought a little harder. What if, with enough pressure and heat a soul could be crystallized further, like the process of carbon turning into diamonds.

So what if these gems which are pure determination could be used by a monster like some sort of power up to increase the amount of power they have??? What if they had other properties???? And then it all started branching out from there.

So from my thoughts, I've created a few conclusions:

When a monster with a high enough already LV (like for instance, Flowey) tries to combine a number of souls together, the heat and pressure generated causes them to fuse together into one full gemstone.

Said gem can only be used by one person. Once that person, weither it be a monster or human, uses the gem for anything they are bound together perminantly. The gem creates a link between the soul and itself, and if that bond is shattered so will the user's soul.

The gem can change the user's body perminantly and harshly. This will be important later. (foreshadowing)

The gem changes the user's LV, as if they had absorbed all seven human souls. But without the unfortunate effects of your body melting from having too much determination. Though if I bet you use it too much, that could definitely start happening :33 like an overheating laptop.

The concept for the actual AU after I had figured that all out was "oh golly gee I wonder what the hell would happen if sans somehow got ahold of that thing???" Because of course we gotta have our boney boy being the main point in this situation. And what if the energy from this caused a explosion that destabilized the underground and what if sans was stuck down there alone trying to figure out how to do something, anything with this gem that is now a perminant fixture in his existence????

So: Pacifist route, everything's going fine and jolly until the final fight against Flowey. He manages to kill/fatality injure all the monsters and kill Frisk. He tries to combine the energy of the souls together, fucks it up, ends up creating the gem. Everything explodes, and the gem gravitates towards sans as he's the one with the most HP left. He somehow manages to get a hold of the gem, manages to stumble his way back to the edges of Snowdin, passes out in the snow. But because he has the gem, it activates. It puts sans into a THREE YEAR CRYOSTASIS under the snow while it slowly heals him and modifies his body. Because that's just what it does. And the rest I have yet to theorize about. BUT WHAT I DO HAVE IS DESIGN IDEASSS nevermind I dontt have any photos of them atm. SOON. TRUST.

Anyways this has been brewing in my brain for months and i am shaking in my boots now that I'm actually talking about it,,,,,,, commentary, suggestions, and addendums are all welcome in rbs/my askbox :33

BTW SOMEKNE TOLD ME TO NAME THIS SANS CRYO BECAUSE OF THE CRYOSTASIS THING AND SO THAGS WHAT HIS LIKE FUNNY LITTLE MULTIVERSE NAME IS. NO IDEA WHAT THE AU IS GONNA BE CALLED YET SEND ME SUGGESTIONS.

[galactic-rhea]

irt your latest midi-chlorian/mitochondria post - what do you think would happen to him??? :0

See, this is why I shouldn't make that type of posts sleep deprived and away from home in a college field trip in which we were in four different states on a single day.

This is the post anon is referring to

Logically (now that my mind is more clear) the answer should be that he would die, if it's severe enough as how the analog fungicide i mentioned worked lol

See, the fungicide I was rambling around forces the rRNA to malfunction and thus the nucleus stops producing certain proteins needed for the cell. And is just deathly, there are certain fungi that can handle that better, if the application of that fungicide isn't consistent and thus they become resistent, but fungi are impressive organism that can multiply faster and live on incredible conditions, given that they have like, at the very least, three different types of spores (there are ascomycetes that have like 6-7 different spores through their cycle).

But allas, back to my favorite deranged blorbo.

That's stright up a death sentence for anyone, really. But especially for Anakin who has only half of human genetic material and the other half is just the force. With me theory about the midi-chlorians being the mithocondria equivalent, Anakin would be on such a perilous spot between dying on the spot and being basically a pseudo-god, because he has so many midichlorians in his cells that his cells are dying at an extre rate, but he needs the midichlorians to be able to live (and handle) that much power flowing through him due the force. This hypothetical scenario would break this balance to the core, and even if a normal person could survive until reaching an hospital and being given a diagnosis, Anakin could probably drop death on the spot, like I said, is cellular death and growth must be on record time, and this could be helpful with other ailments.

But with the midichlorian failling him and not enough energy because the new midichlorian would be failing as well, there's a chance that The Force would kill him, the equivalent of overheating or when a lightning strikes and you get too much electricity on a single lightbulb.

HOWEVER, to make this interesting and because let's be real, this is fricking Star Wars and this is fricking Anakin I-Survived-More-Deathly-Accidents-Than-I-Can-Count-Skywalker, let's pretend this midichlorian killer chemical isn't as effective as the analog fungicide I was talking about, it doesn't affect ALL of the midichlorians, but just a few to get our good-and then evil-and then good again-boy.

Whump makers take note, please:

It would depend, honestly, but generally speaking, it would mean he's out of all that supply of energy he uses the keep going. He would get something akin to chronic fatigue, momentarily he's all righty, and then of all sudden lifting a pencil is too much.

Being so strong in the force, but without the biological resources to handle it, he would like, pass out after using the force. Meditating could be the equivalent to ask him if he wants to go into comma. If he already felt cold, he's about to start shaking just by going out, this boy has not enough glycogen storage.

But that's the best of the diagnosis, the worst ones are if this affects the neuronal and nervous system cells. I mentioned briefly that an excess of ATP was linked to autism, ADHD, ocd, and other neurogivergencies, and even neurodegenerative diseases and dementia.

Well, the lack of ATP can do this as well, so there's that.

To name some few, very general ones:

-Epilepsy and seizures

-Vision loss, audition loss or auditory hallucinations.

-Disorientation

-Muscular pain.

-Headaches.

-Problems with reflexes like swallowing or breathing.

-Vomits.

-Accelerated (even more, in Anakin's case) cellular death.

-Loss of hair and muscular mass.

Given that in this second scenario, the midichlorians-killer hypothetical chemical isn't as effective and wouldn't case an inmediate death, then Anakin's fast healing qualitys would actually be super duper helpful then, it would be great to compare his healthy cells with the sick ones. In this case, I bet a doctor would be more than eager to take a sample of Anakin's stem cells.

He would be a great lab rat for both the hypothetic evil mad scientist, AND for the eager doctors looking for a treatement and cure, and since this is a chemical and we're on a far far away galaxy, I'm pretty sure the cure would be not-too-hard to find.

Oh gosh I didn't expect to write this much, sorry for that anon, but I hope this satisfied you curiosity? ^^;

[camoftarakas]

Gonna be super for real, here is my masterpost of why its important for me that you take advantage of your right to vote to choose Kamala Harris.

Section 1: Personal Issues

I am a transgender person. I live where i'm pretty sure it will be safe to do so for the next 4 years, but not only should i not risk it, i shouldn't be willing to send my trans family into danger, especially the young ones. Republicans are making a big point out of removing the Trans agenda from schools. what the fuck does this mean? right now the target is that teachers, counselors, school faculty who hear a child is trans will be obliged to report it to their home. this is a direct danger to the next generation. If you do not hide who you are, it may be ripped out of you. Children will feel they are better dead than being out. and adults who abuse queer kids will not be held accountable.

I am an autistic and disabled person. Donald Trump and his cronies think vaccines cause autism. this is absurdly hateful, but beyond that they call for pullbacks and regulation for vaccines. For an incredibly safe, incredibly guarded piece of protection against disease, regulation means less access to medicine. More epidemics, more sick people, shorter lives for the disabled.

Section 2: Domestic Issues

the full access to abortion and childcare must be restored. the two are forever linked, and both are essential healthcare. people in my life benefit from this, your neighbors benefit from this, human beings benefit from this.

whoever is in charge has the sole ability to appoint supreme court judges for 4 years. The court can not become further packed against us, whoever you are, because they are not shy about infringing the rights of your neighbors or your family on party lines.

the ability for people to only just get by under a Republican presidency will be gutted. tax cuts for the wealthy are not just immoral, but the government can not operate on less income. The burden comes down on those who deserve it least. Hunger, homelessness, freezing, overheating, death.

voting rights are the target of Republicans, especially for the most reliable opposition: Black and Latino Americans. this is happening now in states desperate to suppress minority voices, or to assimilate them into a regressive white culture of last century. If that isn't bad enough, voter suppression is sure to expand to any dissident population. The future is on the line.

Section 3: Global Issues

Donald Trump uses dog whistles to express israeli support. He calls democrats "Hamas", claims they are "Destroying Israel", calls jewish people delusional for supporting them. There isn't a perfect palestinian candidate. that is all but explicitly banned in politics. Vice president Harris will be clipped out of context saying that she vaguely supports Israel's right to self defense, because that is the most she can say without causing panic and confusion. If elected, Kamala Harris would be the most pro-Palestinian president ever, and it's not any amount of praise to say that. But she seeks solution, the end of Israel's control of them, the acknowledgement that what is happening there is unconscionable. MAGA has trained us to think that a vote to a candidate is a total endorsement of all their actions and word-of-mouth values, but it is the NORMAL and DECENT thing to do to demand better from the person you elect. Donald Trump is in Netanyahu's pocket, you won't get anywhere asking him not to rain terror on Palestine.

Ukraine has a right to self-governance as well. Republicans would pull support, and hold more conferences with Putin than with our allies across the world.

Republicans will refuse investment into clean energy. Trump's last presidency saw a resurgence in Coal, and ramblings about dead birds. Republican control will hold back any responses to the climate disaster another 4 years.

Section 4: Closing Thoughts

A US president can not fix the world. A US president can't even fix their own country. But god damn it don't give in to assured worsening. don't vote for third party; they're not gonna win, they're not gonna win next time, the point you want to make will fall on deaf ears; the time and place is not now or here. don't skip voting, 1/3 of americans don't vote because they don't think their voice makes a difference. vote in every category, there are important issues left to you. You may not turn your state, but you can turn a policy, or your city, or your county, or your representative, or make sure people in your district get a fair trail with a good judge, or that a good person is in charge of your schools. vote like your neighbors life depends on it; it does. vote like the world depends on it; it does. vote like it's the least you can do; it is. You have to participate in this one simple task, flawed as it may be, to not be a hypocrite when you ask for change, when you ask for progress, when you ask for justice. You can elect people who serve you, not who demand you serve them. You can choose to take a step forward, instead of standing still while you're dragged backwards with the rest of us. you can save lives, real lives! you fucking matter, every time, but please for the love of god, do the bare minimum at least this time. And after we're done, we'll go out, and ask for more, ask for better, because government is for us and they need to listen to us, forever, whoever.

[thegreatobsesso]

Milo's intro

Alright friends! This is probably scene #2 of the first draft, taking place right after Octavius's intro.

--

Milo doesn’t belong here. 

Sinclair Tower is a steel and marble high-rise where gods of industry shake hands on multimillion pound foreign investments or sign contracts that control the flow of data on the internet. Or... something. 

Milo’s not actually sure what any of these companies do. If you ask him, all their names just sound like gourmet corporate word salad - Crescendo Consulting, ATRIUM Insights, FocusFortune - and that only further convinces him that his presence is a ginormous mistake. 

He’d sent in his application on a whim, for god’s sake. A shoot-for-the-stars kind of thing. He didn’t expect a call back. When the unfamiliar voice had identified itself as personal assistant to Octavius Sinclair, he’d nearly spit his drink. 

That same voice rings out across the intimidating lounge of steel and light.

“Milo McKenzie?”

He jumps from his seat like it’s caught fire. “Hi, yes, that’s me.”

“Julian Keats. Please, follow me.”

He follows this well-groomed and neatly dressed human down a glass-walled corridor overlooking a dizzying array of unnecessarily complicated architecture. It feels crafted to disorient, although it’s probably just his anxiety. Julian ushers him into his clear box of an office that offers a full view of the bustling floor on three sides and the cityscape on the fourth. The din of businesspeople dies as the door shuts. 

“Right,” Julian begins as Milo takes a seat across from him at his tidy desk. “Congratulations on having passed the screening process. I’ll give you a brief orientation, you’ll sign some forms for our records, and then you’ll be clear to meet with Mr. Sinclair.” 

“Sounds like a plan,” he chirps, cringing at himself instantaneously. He’s a nerd, an overeager loser, a timid nobody-

“The basics,” Julian states over his rolling ticker-tape of admonitions. “This shouldn’t be anything new to you if you read the materials, but here goes. No electronics whatsoever go past the elevator, including and especially mobile phones. A typical session with Mr. Sinclair can last anywhere from one to four hours, unless interrupted by your safe word. He’ll use any combination of whips, handcuffs, ropes, paddles, clamps, spreader bars, dildos, plugs, vibrators and/or his personal business ties and belts. Anything outside that, he’ll show you and get your color before he uses it. He may want to fuck you, he may not. He may or may not let you come.”

Milo is overheating like an overtaxed laptop at this procedural recitation of things he did, in fact, already know. He's not new to scene - in fact, he had to provide references to prove it - but he’s never sat down with a business person in the middle of a bustling office space to talk about butt plugs. 

Moreover, they're talking about Octavius Sinclair. He's like, the hottest man alive. He's famous and rich and a philanthropist and an icon. And he may fuck Milo, or he may not; he may or may not let Milo come.

Fuck!

“Yeah, that’s,” he says, reminding himself no one walking by can actually hear them in here. “That’s all great.”

“And I see... only hard limit is knives.”

“Yeah, that’s it. No knives.”

“What about blades in general? Razors, swords?”

Swords? “I... guess you can put blades in general there.”

Julian scratches out his original answer and jots the new one down in impeccable script.

"And, do remind me what it is you're to call him, and what you're not."

Finally, a chance to prove his preparedness! “Sir," Milo answers confidently. "Nothing but sir. Not his name, master, or daddy."

"And your safe word is?"

"Red, or ‘safe word’. Yellow means ease up or slow down. Green is good, and if I can't speak, I'll shake my head no and say uh uh uh."

Julian ticks boxes as he speaks. "That's great," he replies without a shred of enthusiasm. "I'm gonna need your signature here, here and here."

Just as he slides several forms across the desk, Milo’s phone buzzes in his pocket. 

He ignores it, for now. Another minute or two won’t hurt.

“This one states you don’t have any allergies or significant medical conditions. This one says you haven’t had any unprotected sex since your last negative STD screening. And this one, please make sure to read it all the way through. This is the confidentiality agreement, which Mr. Sinclair will sign as well. “

The phone buzzes again. Shit. “I’m so sorry,” he says, “I have to take a call.”

Julian Keats stares at him, clearly more used to being the interrupter than the interrupted. He manages to inject an impressive amount of displeasure in a simple businesslike Ah, of course before Milo’s off searching for an enclave with some semblance of privacy.

He finds it in one of the flagrantly incongruous beanbag chairs in a corner where the view gives him vertigo. He sits facing away from the city dials back. 

“Milo.” His sister’s voice, thick with terror. “I’m in trouble. I need help. I need you to come get me.”

He presses his fingertips against his eyelids. She sounds awful, and it hurts. “Okay, sweetie. I’ll be there soon, but in the mean time, can you tell me a couple things you can see right now?”

“I’m not crazy,” she whispers; frantic, like she’s hiding from someone. 

“I know you’re not. I know. I just want you to describe a couple things you can see for me. Please.”

He sits with her for a moment while she talks, shakily, of things in her hospital room. The patterns of the curtains, the phrases scrawled by nurses on the dry erase board. The worn plastic case of CDs she’s had with her since she was admitted - Fiona Apple, Garbage, the Cranberries.

He doesn’t say goodbye until she sounds a bit calmer, and he’s going to have to cancel his afternoon appointment to go her straightaway after this, but she should be fine until he gets there. The staff know her well enough by now to know when she's close to hurting herself, or somebody else.

He feels like crying, but even if it were a fine time for such a thing, his body wouldn’t actually do it.

So he goes back in and finishes signing all the forms. Julian’s clipped confirmation goes a bit past his ears. 

“Alright, all sorted," he states, and Milo can almost see him itching to move onto the multitude of more pressing matters Milo's sure he's got. "Your appointment is at 10 pm. Arrive at the club at least 15 minutes before that and present this to security. They’ll scan the card and put you into the elevator to the penthouse. Once you’re there, just knock.”

“Wait, sorry, 10 pm tonight?”

“Yes, obviously. The confirmation file for today’s appointment said as much. Is that going to be a problem for you?”

Oh, Jesus. “No,” he hurries to confirm. “No, not at all, that works for me, it’s just... wow, I didn’t think it’d happen that fast.”

God, he thought he’d get a haircut, maybe lose a kilo, but he supposes not. 

No, he’ll be walking into that room on the fifty-bajillionth floor of this very tower exactly how he is now, and letting a hot, filthy rich titan of business do whatever the hell he wants to him, within his own predefined limits. The guy the press calls the king of London, either because of how much he owns or the way he carries himself. Actually, Milo’s quite certain it’s a combination of both. And that’s...

Well, it’s bloody fucking fantastic is what it is. As he’s leaving the building, he looks around and, seeing no one paying much mind to him whatsoever, pumps his fist into the air in front of him. Just a little bit.

--

✨ WIP intro

🔖 tag list: @winterandwords // @foxboyclit //@revenantlore

@space-writes // @indecentpause // @words-after-midnight

comment to be added or removed!

📝 all posts from WIP: gay crime bdsm story

[meowmeowmeowmeow4x]

Dark Blue Moon and the Suffering Sun Chapter 30

MASTAPOST

huge thanks to brekitten again for betaing uwu

Despite Damian complaining of the smell, Danny personally thought his new outfit was very comfortable, at least compared to the alternatives. At some points their little nature walk along the road brought them close to the river they’d swum up to get to the locks. They could’ve easily jumped in if they wanted, but the presence of GiW boats in a narrow passage made it a very unappetising option.

They also didn’t know what his human form looked like, but they did know about siren human forms in general. Once they realised the canal itself was empty, they would very likely transition into hunting him on land. Then there would be problems.

Danny picked up the pace. Jogging was easy when you could ice over your overheating muscles from the inside, a technique that had fascinated and disgusted his friends. To their right, the remains of the canal shipyards, and to their left, a large hill covered in trees and foliage overlooked the water. Wind rustled through the leaves and blew through his clothes. Ah, to be clothed at last. What a luxury.

As they walked, the boys made idle commentary on the scenery, including sardonic comments at the presence of a golf club on the hill.

“I should hope they do not punt any balls into the water.”

“I dunno. Could be a fun challenge. Imagine doing a hole in one across the canal!”

The shade was nice too. Even the air felt cooler underneath the trees. As they rounded the corner of the mountain, their next issue made itself known.

A car drove past them, only to stop and slow down at a check point manned by, who else, the GiW. At some point Danny was seriously questioning the Panamanian government. If he were in charge, he would definitely not let the US government just run roughshod over his country’s infrastructure. That being said, it probably wasn’t the first time the government fucked things up in South America, as Sam’s many rants had led him to learning.

Danny ran his finger along Damian’s forearm, earning a hiss from the kid. He slathered the mucus over his ear, turning it into its siren form.

“Shush. Lemme listen.”

He closed his eyes and concentrated. “Sorry ma’am. We’re with the US government. We’ll need to inspect your car for any siren contraband or smuggling. We’ll also have to test you for mind control.”

With that, another voice seemed to repeat the command in very apologetic Spanish. It seemed their translator was about as unhappy with the arrangement as the poor civilian.

“Tt. Amateurs.” Damian muttered.

Then came a very rapid series of what he believed was swearing from the driver, an older woman. Oh. He didn’t need his ears to notice the sandals smacking into the agents. Danny couldn’t help but laugh a little.

It wasn’t like the blockade would do anything! There was a whole-ass hill right beside him.

“How were these people ever a threat to us?” Damian muttered. He hissed at a stray branch jabbing into his ribs, batting it away.

“Probably all the money the government throws at them to buy weapons. From my parents.” Yeah it kinda said a lot that the only reason they were any issue at all were because of his parents.

Damian stiffened. If Danny weren’t holding him so close, he wouldn’t have noticed it.

Danny hiked into the forested hill. Great thing about clothes, Damian, is that they protect your very soft human skin from being sliced up by thorns and branches and other sharp shrubbery. “It’ll be fine. I’ve beaten these clowns a dozen times before.”

 “With allies, and a healthy body. And in the water. Be wary.”

Danny grinned. “But I still have my powers!”

“Tut. Be wary. Triumphant pride precipitates a dizzying fall.”

“Hah! How many dictionaries did you consume to be able to say that?”

“Five. And I do not consume books, I read them, unlike you and your sullen species.”

“I am literally human right now. And I read plenty of books.” Comic books, in fact. But that addendum didn’t stop the (invisible) smirk on his face. Comics books are literature too! Even if the canon keeps getting ruined every few years.

Damian began another retort, only for the forest to fill with alarm blares. The sounds overlapped and pounded in Danny’s ears. “What happened!?”

He was in human form, they couldn’t detect-  Wait. He slapped himself in the face. It was Damian. They’d detected Damian’s signature. Fuck.

“The forest covered up their smell. Dangit. The one time they weren’t wildly incompetent.”

His head snapped to the side, then he turned around. Nobody yet. Damian growled. “We need to get moving.”

“You can say that again.”

Danny wove through the branches amidst rising shouts, and alarms that continued to sound. He caught a glint on the side of a tree. One ice spear was all it took to take out a sensor. More still screamed.

“Behind you!”

Danny dove to the floor. A shot whizzed past his head. His body creased leaves and pressed the dirt.

“There’s the specimen! Take it down!”

Several more guns whined. Danny rolled to the side. He got up in seconds. The dirt exploded behind him. Three more shots fired into a tree, causing it to creak and groan.

Damian squeezed his arm. “Throw me,” he whispered.

Danny’s face went slack. “What?!”

“There are only two of them. They do not know my identity, and they have weapons.”

Yeah them having weapons was a very good reason not to throw you at the racist government agents, Damian! “You’re crazy.”

“The Atlanteans underestimated me similarly. Now hurry!”

Another two agents flanked them on the other side. Despite his reservations, Danny was forced to admit the kid had a point. “Fine, but be careful!”

Danny stepped back. He threw his arms over his shoulders, Damian’s waist held tightly. With all his strength, he hurled him like the screaming ball of fury and spite that he was. The boy flashed into visibility. The agents behind him screamed girlishly, a fact that he wished he could have recorded.

Instead he squared his shoulders at the two in front of him. It was G from earlier and another guy. Hello misplaced aggression. The goons cried out, preparing to fire on Damian. While the kid was still on top of their friends’ faces!? Well, friendly fire never stopped them. Danny flicked two beams. One froze the trigger on G’s gun solid, scoring half his hand as a bonus. The other got his friend’s gun muzzle. The agent pulled the trigger anyway, and was rewarded by scalding hot metal shards to the face for his troubles.

Danny’s eyes glowed steely black and blue. He fired off another salvo. His attacks bound their wrists and feet to the ground. At the same time, his nose tickled with a coppery odour. The screams of the men behind him reduced to pained sobbing.

“I am returning,” Damian declared. Danny had about half a second between that warning and the kid slamming onto his back, arms wrapping around his neck again. The extra weight almost knocked him off his feet.

“What the heck are you carrying?!”

The skin around his ears shivered. A gun charged right over his shoulder. Damian nailed a reinforcing agent in the shoulder. “A new acquisition. Now move!”

Only Damian. Only Damian.

So the stealthy approach wasn’t working out amazingly. By the time Danny had cleared the forest, and lost his pursuers, there were about a dozen men lying on the dirt in various states of pain. Danny jogged past the now-unmanned barrier, wondering if there was really any point to sneaking around.

Damian panted over his shoulder. They needed to stop for another water break. His friend wouldn’t last long without one. And he was feeling the fatigue of keeping his powers up already. He’d need another snack soon.

“We cannot afford another confrontation. It was lucky we had the advantage in terrain, and they squandered their numbers by walking in one by one. The next fight may not be as fortunate.”

It was an apt time to say that, seeing as their presence had definitely not gone unnoticed.

A large white truck barreled through the road, giving Danny an honest to god heart attack. He dashed behind an electric post without thinking. Luckily it hadn’t noticed him, but the road ahead reeked of further agents. He wouldn’t be surprised if there were checkpoints along every road and intersection from here to the beach.

“Like seriously. There’s no way Panamanian government could be happy with this. I’m not going crazy, right?”

“This will likely be an international incident, especially if my plan is to go through.”

Danny suddenly felt rather uncomfortable. “What plan?”

“It is simply the most logical way to proceed. As I said, we do not have the resources to fight many more battles. At some point, we will be encircled, and either be captured or severely injured.”

“So what’s your plan, then?”

Damian laughed. It was not the joyful, innocent laughter of a kid his size, but rather a cackle fitting a demon, or some sadist coming up with creative ways to inflict pain on his victims. Danny got very, very worried.

“Wrench!” Dad called out. Jazz pulled one out of the toolbox and handed it over.

“Nope, wrong tool. I need the, uhh the thingamajig.” Without a beat lost, Jazz passed some fiendish contraption meant for measuring hydroplasm levels, name still pending.

“Thanks Jazziepants.”

For a man who’d been insistent on keeping her in bed or out of any hard work, and whom had been specifically instructed to do so regardless, her father’s willpower was very weak when subjected to Jazz’s arguments. That was what led her to sitting in the engine room with her father, watching him put the hydroplasm back into working levels. She felt a little bad about making her dad spend so much time, but what guilt she felt would have been outweighed a thousand-fold by the pain of seeing her brother in their parents’ grasps.

Now she needed to know the direction of his heart.

“Dad, are you ok?”

He shrugged. “I’m ok as ever, Jazzie.”

“You’ve been worrying.”

Her father yanked out a faulty wire. “What kinda dad wouldn’t be? When I was a kid, my grandpa Fenton told me one day, I’d be the man of my own house. I’d protect my wife and my kids from those gosh darn delinquents of the deep. Of course, I ended up finding a lovely wife who’d protect me just as much as I her, but,” He swallowed.

“It’s ok. I’m here for you, Dad. Is it something to do with the interrogation?”

“Jazzie, look, I don’t want you to worry.”

“But it’s bothering you, right?”

Her dad’s boots arced inwards, like he’d clenched his toes. “Our only lead was Phantom. That’s the whole point of this trip. But we got him, and he wouldn’t spill. And I didn’t know what to do.”

“Were you hurt?”

“No. Nobody got hurt. But your mother… I’m sorry, it’s not something you should be hearing.”

Her father’s voice went uncharacteristically serious. No! She didn’t need protecting. She needed information.

“Dad, you and mom have been dreaming of capturing a siren for years.”

Her father’s body went still for a moment. He quietly screwed in a bolt. “I know. It was nothing like I’d ever expected.”

“In a good way?”

“I thought he was gonna fight. Or throw snark at us like the fish felon he is. It was what our research told us what would happen. But it didn’t.”

She said nothing, her silence prompting her father to continue.

“Jazzie, he… cried. And suddenly I realised that Phantom looked like a kid. Like Danny’s age.”

“That young?” Jazz said with fake surprise. “Do you think he still could’ve done it?”

“I don’t know. But he must be involved, somehow. In any case, we’ll still have to pursue him.”

Jazz leaned in closer. Her father’s goggles were off, which gave her an unblocked view of his eyes. Just like her mother, they faltered with hidden speculation with doubt. The relief made her cry, almost. “There’s no guarantee, Dad,” she whispered.

Her father sat up from the creep. He stretched his arms out, and pulled her into an embrace. “I promise we’ll figure something out. Your brother’s got the might of the Fentons in him.”

‘Specimen Phantom is in disguise. Be on high alert. Nobody is above suspicion.’ Agent H hummed. That damned fish freak. Crawled its way out of the water the moment trouble hit. Now everyone was mobilising. Agent H shut off the radio, having heard enough.

Frankly, he’d had enough of this damned country and the heat. He’d been got by at least three mosquitoes already, and this brief respite in the truck was all he’d get until another six hours spent underneath the tropical sun, looking for a damn slippery siren.

He hoped Phantom would turn into fried fish before he did. Goddammit.

That was not to mention the freaking local police, who’d been harassing them all day about their tasks. Ignorant locals. How could they not notice the threat lurking right under their noses? Without the help of his organisation, the Canal would’ve been wrecked, then who’d have the final laugh? Definitely not Panama.

“Be on high alert, H.” Agent I said. “Specimen Phantom and its accomplice just took out squad A in the trees.”

H turned to her. “And why aren’t we assisting them?”

“Squad B’s taken care of it. We need to cut of the specimen’s escape, before it reaches the open ocean.”

H scoffed. “We have enough manpower, I. These sirens are smart enough to get around us. We need to hunt the specimen actively.”

“And you need to follow orders, Agent H. The local government’s only barely tolerating our presence as is. One wrong move and there will be hell to pay, do you understand?”

Agent H grumbled.

“Do you understand, Agent H?” Agent I ground out.

“Yes, ma’am. I-”

Agent H was unable to finish his sentence. He slammed the brakes. He and Agent I jerked forward in their seatbelts as the truck screeched to a halt in front of a gruesome sight. In the middle of the road, two wooden stakes were erected. Blood stained the road at the base of them. Strung up to the stakes were two familiar uniforms.

“Agent G! Agent F!” He cried out. Agent H tore off his seatbelt. He snatched his hydro gun and rushed out. His blood ran cold. How dare that- that- that monster!?

“Agent H! Get back here!” His superior ordered. He ignored her. He needed to-

Agent H was right in front of the wooden stakes when he realised his error. What looked like G’s soft brown skin and F’s paler tan from afar became patchy, holed. It was no human, but a kind of mocking imitation made from dried reeds and branches.

That meant- Shit.

Agent H had no time to react. Brilliant blue blasted him across the road. He struggled, cursed, tried to reach his communicator, but his efforts were for naught. The ice bound his wrists together like concrete. In the corner of his eye, he saw Agent I put up just a few more seconds of fight, before a barrage of hydro beams took her down too. That was their weapons!

Shame burned his skin hotter than the tropical sun. The dirty, evil sirens opened the door to the truck, invisibly. He could only watch helpless as a trapped rat as the truck kicked into full gear.

[eldritch-spouse]

What are Rinx's heats like?

Odd.

A greed demon's heat is peculiar. While they don't nest in the typical manner other monsters do, they have a tendency to bring all their personal belongings and try to cram them into the room they've picked to spend the majority of their rut. Naturally, Rinx can't dislocate most of his belongings for this, so he just picks the room which has the most precious and flashiest of his things.

Pre-heat impulses include reckless stealing, impulse shopping (more than often anyway), and becoming irrationally irate if you touch some of their favorite possessions. Generally speaking, as a male, Rinx will be the one performing rituals of attraction, and these are quite silly.

You are his most priceless possession, so when it fully hits, Rinx will simply scoop you up and add you to the top of his messy pile of trinkets in his room. He's putting you on a literal pedestal, it's about the best first impression he could hope to make while in heat. You're only allowed to wear what he pushes your way, if he's not forcing it onto you to begin with, and you'll be essentially drowning in jewelry. Like way too much. Enough to make it hard to move. He'll excite himself just getting to decorate you. While you have no horns to addorn, he'll make the most out of your hair. You'll be shown certain new elements of his collections, and what he's looking for when he does this is for an awed reaction, as well as you physically accepting it. Rinx isn't very verbal in this state, so you kinda have to guess what he wants sometimes. He'll accessorize himself as well, but his overheated body won't let him wear clothes.

Predictably, the more he dolls you up, the more you can expect to get fucked. He won't hesitate to use you like a sleeve, be glad he has enough sense to at least try to prepare you beforehand. A curious aspect of greed demon heats is that they're one of the types that enjoys coming on their partners more than they do in. It's entirely an ownership thing, and what bolder way to assert a claim than to just cover you in his seed? Obviously, you're not allowed to clean yourself. There are times where Rinx really can't pull out however, or does so a bit late, so it's by no means a reliable source of birth control (as if pulling out in general was reliable to begin with...).

Taking off anything he puts on you will anger Rinx, who will trap you under his fingers and force it back onto you. That's a rejection of him as your mate, and it genuinely wounds him, causes the demonlord immense distress. You should also not accept anything from anyone else, in the rare chance someone else interacts with you. Even your meals are given to you by Rinx, servants can't give anything or take anything that's yours or his during this time.

There's a way you can make Rinx calmer and a bit happier during his ruts, which is returning his courtship mannerisms. It doesn't take too long to figure out what he might enjoy. The trick is to give him some of your things. It doesn't really matter what it is, it could be a fucking pebble for all the King cares, he'll swipe it from you and cackle to himself like a giddy schoolgirl. If you put anything on his body, Rinx will probably resort to whining and begging to fuck you immediately.

In a very hilarious display, he'll sometimes throw himself onto his piles of treasure and pose for you. Perhaps, if you were also a greed demon, the sight would be enough to make you howl with arousal- But as a human, it just looks kinda silly. Nonetheless, he'll be very happy if you pretend to be greatly seduced and ride him, for example. The sex isn't particularly comfortable given you're likely laying/kneeling on rough things, but it's good for his mental state.

[daughterofnoridoorman]

how does my uzi kintype affects a my identities, alterhuman and lgbt? the reason i love murder drones is because of the way the characters are portrayed. for example, n is more than just the dangerous-but-nice golden retriever. he is too nice for his own good, and by existing he goes against his designed purpose. being kind hurt him, and even though he seems fully aware of that he doesn't stop. this also applies to uzi- she's more than the angsty chosen one teenager. there are so many layers to her personality, which makes it pretty difficult to put a pin on the way that having her as a kintype affects me spoiler alert and mentions of su1cide+v1olence!

1- hooded crow theriotype in home, uzi "hacks" the mind of n (and also v's mind too. whatever) to prevent their memories from being wiped. during this, she takes the form of a hooded crow with the username 'darkxwolf17'. when i took this into consideration, i realized why my crow theriotype was so weird. i felt like a person in a crow's body, not a crow in a human's body, which is how i usually feel with my theriotypes. but being darkxwolf17, NOT a crow made so much more sense. it explained why i got bird shifts even though i didnt feel like a bird, why i felt that way, why i always wanted to make nests despite not wanting eggs. i am the body of a hooded crow, not the crow itself.

2- absolutesolver kin (violence warning) (note; when i refer to the solver, i am referring to the virus itself. not cyn, not yeva, not nori, not doll, not uzi. THE solver. not its hosts.) even though uzi neutralized the absolutesolver, it still 'lives' on in her programming. and it is a separate entity from uzi. in my mind, the absolutesolver represents intrusive, violent thoughts. that definition fits both the way i've come to see it and the canon. as someone who has struggled with intrusive thoughts for years, i've learned not to feel too much shame about them. in my experience, that only makes them worse. i know that it's not my fault i cannot control my thoughts, and i wont beat myself up about it anymore. this may sound like the thing your elementary school teacher would say if you got in a fight, but i may not be able to control my thoughts, but what i can control is whether i react to them or not. that's what uzi did. she learned how to block the absolutesolver from her mind. how to take control of what it gave her without it taking control of her. 3- monsterkin (suicide and violence warning) i am vampirekin and demonkin. for the sake of convinience, i will say 'monsterkin' and use it as a general term when i am talking about both of these identities. in cabin fever, uzi transforms into a 'monster' when she does not consume enough oil to keep herself from overheating. in my case, the consuming oil part is like seeking validation. i have always needed validation, but more than usual. i have tried too hard to be noticed and congratulated, but it never worked. and then, the overheating is like suicidal thoughts. without validation, i start to become suicidal. i need high amounts of validation to stay in a 'normal' mental state. uzi's classmates treated her as a monster, even before she transformed. just for being herself. as someone who is a queer alterhuman and has known that from a young age, this has really resonated with me. for just existing, i am a monster. a creature of sin. the subtle homophobia and transphobia i recieved from my closest friend, combined with the same hatred towards alterhumanity from even more people before i was even ten really messed me up. the way cabin fever is written just really connects to me. uzi's already so fucked up, she doesnt need another factor ruining up her life. but it does it anyways. she's proven to everyone how she's a monster. (im not elaborating for personal reasons) the fact that uzi's classmates at the end of absolute end didnt really care that much just really helps me feel better. they didnt care. why would my classmates care? 4- gender and sexuality before i even knew girls could kiss girls, i liked girls. in particular, i liked people i had a friendship with. however, my friendships were very messed up and i fell in love with anyone my age who could treat me with decent respect. i headcanon uzi as bi, and i didnt understand why (other than the doc martens) until i connected the dots that im uzi. i am bisexual. maybe? and theres also referring to v as hot at ep 8 so... angsty bi queen uzi but, although me, the almalgamation of kintypes and names that i am, the uzi part of me always feels bisexual. always. when i think of myself as uzi, i can only see myself as demisexual-bisexual and demiromantic-biromantic. this also applies to gender- i am an axenlector user. i collect xenogenders. i am cottoncandygender, i am gendersky, i am gummisharkgender, i am starricattic. i am more genders than i can count. and i dont care honestly. but once again, when i really connect to uzi, i can only see myself as feminine. this does vary from demigirl to rosegirl to just girl. 5- notes and stuff! well, thanks for reading all the way through! a like, reblog, or follow would be awesome! every time i referred to uzi as someone else it was like "why r u talking abt urself in third person! YOU ARE UZI DOORMAN!" but alas, i must differentiate between myself and my kintypes,,, maybe one day i will not have to,,, please tell me im not the only one kkkkkkkkk

[mechanical-magician]

BOMB RUSH CYBERFUNK HEADCANONS: CYBERHEADS EDITION

(Just general headcanons about how cyberheads work)

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

Headcanon Directory >>

> Cyberheads are only just now becoming common place, as the procedure/materials have become more affordable.

> Getting a cyberhead is generally only done as a last resort (ie: The Old Head who had brain tumors)

> A cyberhead that is PROPERLY dismounted from its body can control it for about a minute before there's issues. No head means no way to breathe, so it essentially works as long as the person can hold their breath

> Therefore, removing your head should only be done if absolutely necessary

> Red does not use this ability responsibly. He thinks the "what, no head?" joke is funny every time

> Each new group of cyberhead models become more efficient and compact, as well as moving certain things into better places

> Red's head model isn't as old as the Old Head's head, but it's not new by any stretch, hence why no one on the street has it.

> Specifically in Red's case, the 4 slits on the front of his face are for olfactory purposes (smells). He breathes through a system of vents that are on the underside of his head, around where his chin is (he doesn't like scarves because they make it harder to breathe. Later models were updated to move the breathing apparatus further up to avoid this problem)

> Cyberheads don't have a mouth, so they can't eat. They live off of a liquid diet, and as a result, smoothie/milkshake/other liquid specialty joints have exploded in popularity. Your regular fast food places also had to expand their options (McDonald's in this world ended up having a classaction lawsuit over their ice cream machines never working, as that left cyberheads with nothing of substance for them to drink. The results still haven't been figured out yet.)

> Other robotic body parts are still being developed, but are much more difficult to perfect, mostly owing to weight and pricing.

> As we learn in the game, a person's memories are transferred to the new head. The adjustment period is accordingly pretty long and rough.

> New cyberheads are prone to blackouts because of the system still adjusting with their body.

> Red being a sentient cyberhead with no human memories is a special case. He's the only straight up "robot".

> Cyberheads are waterproof! Well-- to fresh water. Salt water is VERY BAD for them, and can straight up kill them if the water manages to get to their memory core.

> Cyberheads are susceptible to overheating. All models have fans somewhere to expell heat and cool down, just like computers. Red's cooling fans are the two booster looking things on the back of his head!

> Moral of the story? Take care of your electronics

> Can Cyberheads get drunk? Not traditionally. If they drink an alcoholic beverage, they won't feel the drunk effects (however, they do still get alcohol in their blood, so they still need to drink responsibly). What has humanity always managed to do throughout history? Figure out how to get drunk. There's an underground market of things similar to batteries that can be inserted into a cyberhead to feel the drunken effects. Effects fade after a certain amount of time (basically the "battery" running out)

[tarisilmarwen]

Ahsoka "Fallen Jedi" Liveblog

Let's go let's go let's go let's go let's goooooooooooooo!

Oh I'm so excited for this I already know there are Developments.

Hype hype hype hype.

Oh we're starting off with complete silence are we? Okay.

Sabine trying to raise Hera. :(

Ahhhh yes it's the "Ahsoka and Sabine butting heads about saving Ezra versus stopping Thrawn" convo Sabezra fandom predicted.

"Can I count on you?" Low blow Ahsoka, recalling Ezra's own words.

"I know how much Ezra means to you." *falls into this line, dies*

Oh don't let Huyang get shot, come on now, you already had him get blasted once.

Buncha trailer shots in this episode I'm guessing.

"Stay together. You always did better that way, in my opinion." Ha ha ha this would be a sweet line if we had ever actually SEEN Ahsoka and Sabine working together. *grumbles*

Hera going off by herself to go help Sabine and Ahsoka lolol. That little face she makes when she says, "Watch me."

Baby Jacen is still super precious.

The GHOOOOOOOOOOSSST!

This sequence would have been the perfect spot to drop Zeb in, you know. Just saying.

Go girls go, go, go, you need to get on that ship before it leaves!

And it's my favorite new villain couple.

If Shin could have a bit more personality she'd be more interesting but "feral" is wearing thin.

OH AND NOW WE HAVE A TICKING CLOCK DEVICE.

There were people complaining that this moment where Ahsoka wipes Marrok was lifted from "Twin Suns" but in context... no it's just Dave's usual thing for cool samurai finishers.

Oh wow Shin looks extremely unnerved at Marrok dissipating into green Nightsister mist.

Did... Morgan take all the guards and droids with her? Just leaving Baylan there by himself to handle Ahsoka huh? What a bitch.

"One must destroy in order to create." Nooooooooo they really don't Baylan, that's grade A horseshit.

And stinks of Empire and Sith apologism.

The map is gorgeous. Wish they'd turn the saturation and contrast up just a smidge more so the colors could POP.

Oh this music cue is great!

YES! LET BAYLAN CUT LOOSE. Man is a beast.

Ahsoka's trying to disengage long enough to get the map. :((((

Ha ha, nice. Mandalorian trick.

Ooooof the map burned Ahsoka's hand?

Ahsoka where's your shoto blade?

Right, like Sabine's dinky little blaster is gonna do anything to that map, sure Ahsoka. You just burned your hand on how super overheated it was and all it was doing was generating hyperspace coordinates for a cross-galactic jump, you think a shot from a small firearm is gonna pierce it?

Oooooh that angle-back closed-eye look from Baylan... he's telepathically reading her like a book isn't he?

"Your family died on Mandalore because your Master didn't trust you." WELL I'M JUST GOING TO PATENTLY IGNORE THAT BECAUSE NO FILONI, YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT IN LIKE THAT.

Getting real tired of character motivations being reveals and not outright stated from the start.

ALSO WHAT EVEN THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT???!???

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY NICE TO ACTUALLY SEE, OR YOU KNOW, TALK ABOUT BEFORE THIS MOMENT.

Anyway as I said, excising this bit entirely from my personal canon, Clan Wren is fine, they're just in hiding like all the other Mandalorian clans.

"And I... to serve a greater good." Ohhhhhhhhhhh I see what you did there, nice paralleling Baylan to Thrawn.

SABINE CHOOSES EZRA.

(I mean I knew it was coming because I was spoiled but still.)

Sabine, Sabine, my poor heartbroken babygirl, this is such a human choice, it's not the choice a Jedi should make but then Sabine isn't a Jedi, I maintain that this is all still playacting and cope that Ahsoka is indulging.

Sabine is falling into the classic Attachment trap but also there are no good choices here. She could try to destroy the map, but I seriously don't think it would work, and then Baylan would just kill her and take the map back anyway.

Maybe she could run but with their ship damaged she wouldn't make it far, she'd have to hide in the woods and avoid Shin and Baylan and whoever else she's stranded and fight them all off by herself for who knows how long until maybe Hera gets there. And she has no way of knowing if Hera's coming.

Oh ouch, I thought Sabine was having a "What have I done?" reaction to handing Baylan the map, but no, Shin is just choking her.

HERA MADE IT.

See it takes Baylan deliberate sustained direct contact with his lightsaber blade to destroy the map, no way was Sabine's blaster gonna do shit to it.

SABINE DID NOTHING WRONG, I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

Again, guys, this would have been the perfect sequence to have Zeb in.

Uhhhhhhhhh I would move away from the ring if I were y'all.

HO JEEZ.

OH BOY.

WELP.

Chopper sounds really unnerved.

THE WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS. THE STAR VOID.

Unless it's a weird-ass Force vision lol. Which is still possible.

Yeeeeeeeah I'm going with Force vision, Anakin should be blue and glowing, shouldn't he? Unless things work differently in here.

The Imperial March is not reassuring.

Okay well... that was a thing.

I'm starting to wish Deborah Chow had been showrunner for this, Filoni is doing... okay-ish (not really) but I really think this story needs and deserves a director willing to go all-in on the emotional resonance and beats of the story.

Which isn't to say the Kenobi show didn't have its problems (ho ho boy could I list the nitpicks and writing issues I had with it) but Ahsoka isn't quite reaching the highs it needs. Everything is way more subdued that I think it should be. I don't know how much of this is the writing, how much is the short mini-series format, how much is the cinematography or the directing.

THAT BEING SAID I AM HERE FOR SABINE MISSING EZRA SO MUCH SHE SACRIFICES HERSELF AND THE MAP FOR THE CHANCE TO FIND HIM.

See everything about her motivations makes so more sense if she's in love with him, sorry Filoni, the ship is still sailing.

Baylan got a bit more characterization here and got marginally more interesting, while Shin just... continues to be wet paper. RIP Marrok we hardly knew ye. Hope they explain the green mist shit soon.

Natasha's shoulders must be sore from carrying this show lol. Someone please let Sabine hug Ezra, she will feel so much better.