#or if I need to circumvent the process

[klysanderelias]

head in my fucking hands. I'm 32 and I still have no idea what I have to do in order to get people to understand the words I say. This applies to a lot of things but today in specific I stopped by the vet office and I was like. my cat turns into a ball of hate every time I come in. I would like to bring him in and have the tech or vet come in for like 5 minutes so that he can get a little more used to the experience, but not have anyone mess with him. He hates the vet and part of that is because he gets held down and stuck with needles. Can we please do a little exposure therapy where he gets told he's a lovely young man and gets some wet food.

And when they called me back they were like 'have you considered trying to get him more adjusted to the carrier? we can give him more meds. there's a virtual pet behavior service you could try.'

It's like the IT problem where yeah, probably 90% of the calls you get CAN be solved by turning it off and on again. You can probably just mindlessly run down the script and get a reasonable solution for the average caller. But for the remaining 10%, you do actually have to use your brain. You do actually need to process the things you're being told.

it's just so disheartening to literally be standing there watching my words fly over someone's head in real time. I can't count the number of times I've seen someone's body language clearly indicate to me that they've stopped caring and they're just waiting for me to stop talking so that they can walk away.

I'm about to hit the point of like, making people repeat the gist of the conversation back to me at the end of it.

[arlo-venn]

Arlo & I are making this trip via this route after next week, if anybody lives anywhere we're rollin' through and wants to say hi :-) I can't cross into Canada at all because my passport is expired.

I can't post specific dates publicly bc I don't trust my last two exes not to be insane, but I can via DM :)

[justtogetthrough]

I need a craft or a hobby. I need to do something with my hands. My hands are unfortunately very painful and I have poor dexterity and grip. I can’t hold things for very long.

I’m once again googling crafts and idk none of it seems doable. Scrapbooking might work, but because of my pain n stuff I don’t actually have experiences or events to memorialize. I wonder if making a scrapbook about my traumas would be helpful or just retraumatizing lol I literally have nothing else to think about

[icannotgetoverbirds]

currently drinking my lunch out of a cup. the future is now, folks, and it tastes like oatmeal made with hot cocoa for water and toffee bits sprinkled in

[taikeero-lecoredier]

Chat Control in a nutshell (please reblog this, US people)

Find out more about Chat Control here TAKE ACTION HERE ! OR HERE Calling is much more efficient ! The latter link will redirect you to the official websites of your respective reps. Under the "read more", you will find what you need to say/write when contacting your reps. You will also find an alternate format of this comic,and I give explicit permission for people to translate it and spread it anywhere for awareness. Credit really not needed, I don't care about that rn Even if this is a EU proposal, I am urging Americans to also share this, since it goes hand in hand with KOSA. DON'T FORGET TO JOIN OUR DISCORD SERVER AGAINST CHAT CONTROL ! https://discord.com/invite/e7FYdYnMkS

(Latest update on Chat Control was the 12 september 2024) This is a little long, so feel free to shorten it as you wish : Subject line: "2022/0155(COD) Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my grave concerns regarding the proposed introduction of "Chat Control" This measure poses a serious threat to the privacy and fundamental rights of all EU citizens and stands in stark contradiction to the core principles that the European Union seeks to uphold. The proposed Chat Control contravenes Articles 7 and 8 of the Charter of Fundamental Rights of the European Union, which guarantee the right to respect for private and family life and the protection of personal data. The indiscriminate surveillance of private messages without specific suspicion or cause directly violates these fundamental rights. The General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) sets out stringent rules for the processing of personal data. The proposed indiscriminate surveillance and scanning of private messages before end-to-end encryption is fundamentally incompatible with the principles of data minimization and purpose limitation enshrined in the GDPR. Specifically, Articles 5 and 6 of the GDPR, which govern the lawfulness and principles of data processing, would be violated by the introduction of such measures. The implementation of Client-Side Scanning (CSS) on devices means that all messages and files are scanned on the user's device before being encrypted and sent. This effectively nullifies the protection offered by end-to-end encryption and opens the door to misuse and additional security vulnerabilities. Moreover, the technical capability to scan such content could be exploited by malicious actors to circumvent or manipulate surveillance mechanisms. Such far-reaching surveillance measures not only endanger privacy but also freedom of expression. The knowledge that their private messages are being scanned and monitored could significantly restrict individuals' willingness to freely express themselves. Additionally, trust in digital communication platforms would be severely undermined. I urge you to take a strong stance against this disproportionate and unlawful measure. The privacy and digital rights of EU citizens must be safeguarded. It is imperative that we protect our fundamental rights and ensure transparency in the decision-making processes of our leaders. For more detailed information on the proposal and its implications, please refer to the following resource: Link to Netzpolitik article. https://www.patrick-breyer.de/rat-soll-chatkontrolle-durchwinken-werde-jetzt-aktiv/ Thank you for your attention to this critical matter. Sincerely, [Name] Art. 10 GG , Art. 8 & 11 EU Charta , Art. 8 EMRK (Alternate comic here V)

[mysterycitrus]

I know a lot of ppl ask u abt jason or dick but im wondering now, what do u think about bruce? I find him a very interesting character whose characterization is incredibly feeble, both bc of his 80 years of history and the tendency writers have to project their own male fantasies on him. So i'd definitely love to hear ur own thoughts about him. I personally enjoy depicting him as someone morally grey, although my sympatization for him changes day to day. Wether you think he is a good or a bad person, i believe u need to make him dedicated to gotham and the bat as a symbol, and that comes with all its advantages and drawbacks

bruce wayne is sooooo interesting (derogatory) because like u said, he carries the baggage of every masochismo author that decided batman was too woke and should hurt his kids and that supporting gotham’s infrastructure is for pussies. there’s also the flipside of that, where he’s the perfect father who’s waaaay too emotionally regulated for my taste. both of these interpretations are bad imo, and both functionally miss the point.

i think part of this (in fandom) is an obsession with moral angst — u can either be a good person doing good things, or a bad person doing bad things. think about how some characters are crucified while others are babied. someone always has to be absolutely right, and the other has to be absolutely wrong.

in reality, there are a lot of people who are fundamentally kind and fundamentally want to do good that are really terrible to the people in their lives. bruce wayne being someone who relies on having so much control that it implodes his connections to the people around him is an important part of his character. his profound love for his children, for gotham and her people, for humanity in general and his belief in peoples ability to change, doesn’t circumvent the fact that he’s often an emotionally abusive man who hurts others to achieve his own ends. he contains multitudes.

writing him as a functionally irredeemable, violently abusive person is the anti-thesis to the symbol that he himself created. no, i personally don’t believe he actively beats his kids (even though it’s supported in the text). no, i don’t think he’s an irredeemable sadist (as much as frank miller wants u to believe otherwise). to have people like dick grayson and diana and clark and dinah love and believe in u means that there has to be something there worth caring about, otherwise the whole universe is gonna fall apart.

that’s what makes his relationship to cass so interesting — he sees his neuroticism, his dedication to the cause above all else, and does not find it admirable. he finds it confronting and upsetting. and to be clear, cass (like dick) is very much the moral ideal of what batman should be, but still bruce finds it hard to deal with!!

his abject failures — his treatment of the robins, his crippling guilt about jason, his fears of becoming a killer, the impossible load he gives himself to carry — means that when he’s shown as someone who genuinely cares, it makes him more complex. like yeah, bruce isn’t actually a cold hearted person. he really really gives a shit. too many shits, to be totally honest. he’s a morally grey person that wants to do good, but is so terrified of losing control that he keeps others away and hurts them in the process. there’s a reason why his emotional crutch was a traumatised eight year old fr. nothing is more important than the mission, including bruce wayne himself

[forlix]

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀・779 / 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴・hyunjin x gn!reader / 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲(𝘀)・fluff, established relationship, intentional lowercase / 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲・inspired by That ig post and my own recent visit to tokyo. happy birthday, @astraystayyh; consider this my official proposal (˘⌣˘ )♡

𝟭𝟳:𝟱𝟮 — when you slip out the hotel’s double doors, you’re stunned to find the world has gone completely dark.

just a few hours ago, you were oohing and ahhing at the colorful chaos of tokyo as the van trudged slowly along the jammed freeway. now, blue has been overtaken by obsidian, and the illuminated city sprawls beneath an invisible horizon like stars plucked from the empty sky.

“the sun sets early here, huh?” hyunjin hums as he appears at your side. his dark hair is scented and silky from his shower, his broad shoulders outlined by the denim trench coat he’s thrown over a black turtleneck—the most beautiful boy on earth, and he’s yours.

“i was j-just thinking that,” you answer through chattering teeth, and your boyfriend’s chuckle hits the air in the form of a silver cloud.

“i told you you’d need this.”

he drapes a puffer jacket around you; his arm follows, draws you near. you slot into his side perfectly.

“better?”

your eyes lock with hyunjin’s, then flicker downwards. the doormen are busy loading a luggage cart. the foyer is empty for the most part. empty enough. 

“better,” you respond, moments before you lose yourself in the warm pressure of his lips.

soft hair tickles your cheeks like butterfly wings. hyunjin’s been tempted to cut it recently, complaining that it’s getting too long. you’ve been rejecting the notion vehemently, and this is one of many reasons why. your fingers skim over the base of his neck, and the air that hyunjin sucks through his teeth whistles past your parted mouth.

“cold,” he whines. 

a giggle escapes your throat. “sorry.”

recently, your and hyunjin’s schedules have been clashing so awfully that you really only see each other before and after bed. both of you are well accustomed to these cycles of mutual scarcity by now; it is enough, during such times, just falling asleep to the sound of the other’s voice, or waking to kisses scattered across every inch of exposed skin and a quiet, melancholy “see you tonight, angel.”

but then, you miraculously stumble upon a free weekend that coincides with the last leg of hyunjin’s tour. he’s on the phone with staff within seconds of hearing the news; your boarding pass arrives in your inbox later that night; now, here you are, in japan on a friday night, burrowed in your boyfriend’s arms, your sights set on a tiny udon joint in the back alleys of shinjuku.

going out in public with hyunjin feels like you’re playing poker. dispatch is your opponent and the deck is always rigged. ninety-nine percent of the time, you prefer to circumvent the game entirely. 

you’re all in, tonight.

“it’s a twenty-seven minute walk.” dark locks fall into hyunjin’s face as he looks at the navigation app on his phone. “is that okay?”

“you tell me. you’re the one who rehearsed for three hours today." you reach for the loose strands; tuck them behind the cuff of his ear. “maybe we should just take the subway.”

“but i wanna explore the city with you.”

“and we can, after your concerts.”

“i only have you for two days. let’s start now.”

the funny look you give him says, we have an apartment together, idiot, and he hastens to add—

“okay, i only have you here for two days. it’s different.”

that, you can’t argue with. hyunjin takes your lack of a retort as his cue to begin your journey, dragging the both of you onto the sidewalk. 

“i will not be the one answering to chan when you oversleep tomorrow,” you mumble.

his hand stretches out where it rests on your shoulder, silently asking for yours. you oblige before you even process his request, your fingers sliding thoughtlessly in the spaces between his.

“deal.” hyunjin presses a swift kiss to your temple, your eye squinting shut at the contact.

if you’re being honest, you hardly remember the walk to the restaurant. all the bright lights are beautiful but get old quickly, eventually blurring into a forgettable, fluorescent mass.

what you do remember is hyunjin’s excited gasp when he recognizes the anime being advertised on a distant billboard. hyunjin’s flawless japanese as he helps an old couple with directions, and the proud smile he wears afterward (he’s been practicing). hyunjin’s fingers pulling you close by the loops of your jeans, his mouth slanting over yours for the ninth, tenth time with no justification except for you’re just so pretty. hyunjin’s hair fluttering over his eyes when he tilts his head at the camera, the resulting picture so maddeningly beautiful that it becomes your new wallpaper right away.

what you do remember from that evening, and what you would remember in every iteration of your life, is hyunjin.

(you remember the udon, too. it was very good.)

🔖 (send an ask to be added)・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@skzms・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn

© 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘅 (est. 090323) · 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡

[lulu-nightbon]

alright, i... didn't want to do this. i didn't want to have to do this. especially with all the hate ive been getting in my inbox recently. but i don't have a choice.

hi. im lulu. im a 21-year-old autistic immunocompromised queer person. i currently live with my mother (senior) and my little sister (10 years old). i need your help to get out.

(context and avenues to help below the cut)

as some of you may know, my stepfather died on august sixth from a heart attack. we lived in his parents basement, as it was all we could afford, and we depended on his income. he had a stable job, and mom decided to become a housewife and sell some things from the buisness they created together. when he died, the buisness was dissolved, as it was an llc partnership. his parents are extremely controlling, and as such, he was only able to finally start building up credit when mom came along, and we were almost at the point where he could qualify for a home loan so we could get out and get away from his parents.

that's gone now.

mom cannot qualify for a home loan because of her student loan payments and the credit card payments. we do not have the money to pay these off, and mom is trying desperately to get a job. we need the money to get out, as my stepfather's parents have been trying to get my sister away from my mom and shove both her and i out of the family for years. things are only getting worse now as we have reason to believe they are spying on our conversations and even going so far as tracking us (for example, they found a spare key to the car and went and took it and "cleaned it out" without mom's knowledge or permission, as it's her car now). they have been trying to circumvent mom and go behind her back during the entire process with the funeral home, coroner's office, all the legal documentation, and they are extremely infuriated that they cannot decide anything or push mom out because they are not the next of kin and have been trying to circumvent this. we have reason to believe that they're going to attempt to sell the cars that are still in my stepfather's name to collect on the money and never give us a dime, like they had with almost all of the money my little sister received as part of the college fund we set up at my stepfather's funeral as well as any money that my little sister had won in the past. we will never see a dime of it, and it's extremely upsetting that they are doing this. they have been running scams for years, and they have been nothing but hellish towards my mother, claiming she's withholding information from them when she has offered more than they've asked for and they have done nothing but take my little sister out and about without ever telling mom anything (for example- they screamed that mom was withholding information when she said she didn't copy the tox report for them because it was empty and claimed they needed to know his cholesterol levels [which doesn't even show up on a tox report- they didn't run his blood, either, and they didn't check his cholesterol levels anyway because they know that's what killed him, they could see it] and would not provide reasoning why [it does not affect them anyway just by nature of it being cholesterol], while on sunday they took my little sister out the whole day and failed to communicate with my mother that she would be with them and would be home after dinner).

they have been screaming at mom for collecting social security as though she was stealing their money and demanded that she doesn't get a job, and we have more than enough reason to believe that they are trying to get her to default on the bills so they finally have legal grounds to take my little sister and kick us out, leaving us with nowhere to go and no options. they have even gone as far as to threaten to take my sister away using force in the past, and, as they have firearms, that is a terrifying threat. they are unhinged and extremely upset that they cannot control us and make us do what they want, how they want, when they want, and they are up in arms over it.

when we move out, all hell is going to break loose, but the longer we wait, the worse it's going to get.

my stepfather, being 37 when he died, did not like thinking about his own mortality, so he didn't have a life insurance policy, a 401K, a will, nothing. we have been left high and dry by his death, and that is pushing aside the grief. we do not have the money to pay off the bills, pay for a lawyer, pay to have the car re-keyed to keep them from stealing it again, or to even flat-out buy a house to circumvent needing a loan, and on top of it all we have to deal with stepfather's parents not allowing us to grieve and implying that mom is a tramp and a heartless bitch that will blow any money given to her when she is more financially responsible than them. we also have to worry about them stealing our things, especially with how much they complain about how messy the basement is when most of the things here are theirs (stepfather's parents are hoarders- more specifically, his father hoards cars, and his mother hoards everything else, going out and shopping frivolously almost every day).

we need help with money, and i hate to ask, especially with the requirement of revealing my legal name and in light of the harassment i have been receiving for over a month now, but we need to get out of here, and we need to get out of here soon. it's only going to get worse the longer we stay. we need money to help with the bills, my mom's student loans, getting a lawyer, and getting a place to move into.

im posting this because im the only one my stepfather's parents won't find on any platform that i choose to use. my current goal is $9,000 USD, if only just to get enough money to get a cheap plot of land to move into, or one of the really cheap houses out here. this won't cover the loans or bills in addition, or the cost of getting a lawyer or anything else we need, but it is enough to get us a cheap place to live. i know it's a lot of money, but we are in a dangerous situation and need the money to escape. if we were to pay for everything, the goal would be in the hundreds of thousands, and i feel horrible just asking for this much. if you can't donate, please reblog, even the visibility might help and please do not spread my legal name. please remember to put "payment" or something generic in the reasoning box if it's required so that i will actually receive the funds instead of having my account purged from the site. i didn't want to ask for this, but i have no other options. please help.

c*sh*pp: $lulunightbon

v*nm*: @Lulilial

Goal: $0/$9,000

[lazyyogi]

Essentially everyone is walking around with some form of trauma lodged within them.

These traumas, these wounds, are our triggers, sore spots, cringy insecurities, or deepset fears.

The majority of us have found ways to cope. Ways to compensate for, avoid, or otherwise circumvent our hidden wounds. That way we remain functional despite our hidden damage.

But coping is not thriving, nor is it healing. It is just easier than doing the self-work.

To seek out and heal your traumas is a deeply uncomfortable and unpleasant experience. It can be so uncomfortable and so scary that sometimes we prefer to keep our traumas over healing from them. And we learn to justify this by assimilating those traumas into our identity. This only makes things more difficult, because any suggestion of healing that trauma becomes an affront to your very sense of self.

Needless to say, although the result is powerfully liberating and an immense relief, the process of healing can be a rough time.

Which is why I notice that the people who tend to actually heal their own traumas are the ones who at some point had been rendered non-functional by them. They had no choice but to find a way to heal.

Once you've healed from an internalized trauma, you're more likely to do so again for other traumas. You understand through your own direct experience that the temporary suffering of the healing process is worthwhile to endure over the cyclical suffering of the unhealed wound.

My challenge to you is this: Become aware of the ways in which you cope. Discern what internalized trauma is causing you to rely on coping. And then observe the ways in which your coping mechanisms are selling you short. Observe the things--the freedoms--you give up in order to continue coping.

Eventually through repeated observation and contemplation, you may become intolerant of just coping. You may develop the urge for freedom.

Healing from a deep trauma will only ever happen in its own time. Sometimes we have so much going on that it needs to be addressed at a later point, from a position of greater strength and groundedness. But that doesn't mean we cannot start preparing ourselves for that moment now. Today.

Otherwise, we will live the rest of our lives resigned to a tolerable form of suffering because we refuse to tolerate the temporary discomfort of healing.

And we will also be inflicting our suffering on others, because at some point people will invariably activate our triggers--whether intentionally or accidentally.

A book I always recommend is The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron. It is a pragmatic and insightful text that guides the reader through the practice and process of looking within at all the things inside us that make us feel squeamish and uncomfortable. This will gift you with an incredible power.

May all beings be free. May all beings be healed.

LY

[freetheshit-outofyou]

Folks, I'm Tired

The United States is NOT a nation of immigrants, it is a Nation of Citizens. Those Citizens often came from someplace else, embraced America as their new home and blended their culture and uniqueness with the United States making all of us better Citizens. Adding to our diversity, to our strength as Americans. Those who come here and have no intention of following the laws of the Citizenry, who have no intention of becoming an American or a Permanent Resident (I-551 card holder) need to go. Those who come here and try to make where they are now in the states, the same mess they left are not Citizens, they are not immigrants they are leaches and a drain on this Nation and a detriment to the Citizenry. Before any of you starts yelling about how I'm a bigot and isolationist, this is my story. My Ex-wife and I were married 9 ½ years, we spent 5 years and 10,340.00 for her to become an American Citizen. I know how shitty the U.S. immigration system is first hand. How shady and scummy immigration lawyers are. How frustrating it is to submit documents to the State Department for them to lose them over and over. For Immigration officials to say something was submitted wrong but literally accepting that same form just resubmitted on a different day. I started this process in Central America where I lived and still spent 4 more years in the states to get it done. The system is shit, that doesn't mean folks can just circumvent it and piss on all those people in the Immigration process. I’ll add for clarification, she is not my ex because I did not love her, she developed a very serious mental health issue that became dangerous for both of us. She stabbed me one night as I was walking down a hallway screaming about demons. She refused treatment over and over and one night when I came home from work she was just gone, nothing in the house missing, no money from the account gone, everything where we had left it. Having someone you love vanish literally without a trace is deeply unnerving. After 14 months I applied for and was granted a default divorce. At the point of our divorce her parents, sisters and brothers had not heard from her. To this day, 21 years later, I still worry for her and I hope she is ok and found the help she needed do desperately.   Sorry, I am venting, earlier today an "illegal migrant" with a freaking ancle tracker, 3 kids and a wife following him got all huffy at for me not giving him money to feed his kids in the Wal-Mart parking lot. While holding a sign saying “waiting on My asylum, need money”. Fuck man, I am a compassionate person and give when and where I can, but my compassion tank only has so much in it. When I am struggling to just get by for my own family, and people are following me in the parking lot asking me for money while the husband and wife are holding cell phones and everyone is dress and clean it makes me question their level of need. I have to take care of mine first, then the rest of the world.

I’m tired of being tired and feeling beat on for just trying to live a life that’s honorable and means something.

[agalaxycloserthanyouthink]

yknow that moment in she-ra season 5 when catra zaps glimmer into space and bow catches her and adora reels her in? when bow holds onto glimmer so tightly and the abruptly lets her go to be mad?

adora says that bow missed glimmer so much and was so focused on getting her back that he hadn't processed all his stuff - yknow feelings about glimmer almost destroying the world. but I think there's another layer to it.

bow holds glimmer for the first time in too long, having spent weeks afraid he'd lose her, and realises just how deeply he loves her, how he always wants her close, how he wants to hold on and never let go again.

and in that same moment, he is confronted with the truth: that glimmer chose a destructive path that invited horde prime's invasion and almost cost innumerable lives, only circumvented by adora's actions.

these are huge oppositional feelings that he can't reconcile at first. because glimmer did a big, bad thing, and yet he can't help but love her.

he is confronted by his own capacity for unconditional love. and he needs to take the time and space to process the hurt before he can trust her again, before he can love her well.

[kinardsevan]

30 day fluff challenge, day nineteen

yall didn't think I forgot about this, did you!? I took the liberty of writing this as pre-canon of the aneurysm fic. hot and sweet <3 (you don't have to be reading that to enjoy this.)

beach day - mature (bordering on explicit)

It hadn’t been their plan to end up at the beach. Evan had come off a rough shift and wasn’t feeling great, although he couldn’t entirely put his finger on why—that wouldn’t come along for weeks. But he’d been restless after dinner, too anxiety-riddled to settle down quite yet for the evening. And even though Tommy had come off a rough shift of his own and was exhausted, he’d suggested the water, because it always seemed to make Evan feel better after a bad day. 

Which was how he found himself walking through the wet sand, surf intermittently slapping at his toes every few minutes. They’d left their shoes by the truck in deference of having them filled with the tiny grains. Besides, Tommy always kept a spare towel in the back seat of the cab so that if they found themselves there, they could clean their feet off before climbing back in. 

Tommy slides his fingers into Evans as they trudge along the shore, glancing down the coast towards seagulls several hundred yards away. 

“Was it a bad call,” he asks, glancing up towards the blonde. 

Evan shakes his head, skepticism crossing over his features. “No. I just feel…” He pauses, glances off into the water as though the depths of the ocean willl provide him with the answers he can’t find. “I don’t know. Unsettled?” 

“Hmm.” Tommy hums in response, but doesn’t give any further information on his inclination towards the younger man’s emotions. He waits a few minutes, letting Evan process through whatever is happening inside his head before he speaks again. “Anything to do with the wedding? I know we’ve got some deadlines coming up.” 

Evan whips his head back then, shaking it quickly. “No, not at all.” He presses his lips together in a hard line has he looks beyond Tommy, uncertain. 

“I don’t know what it is,” he admits softly. “Something just feels off.” 

Tommy nods, squeezing his hand. Evan leans the front of his shoulder into his fiancé’s, dropping his face against the curve of Tommy’s shoulder. His heart flutters in his chest—an odd feeling, something he’s noticed a few times now. He sighs. 

“Maybe we just need to take a trip out of town for a few days,” Tommy murmurs before turning his head and kissing the top of Evan’s. Evan wrinkles his face, contemplative. “We could fly down to San Diego for the weekend. Maybe sneak over the border to TJ.” 

Evan chuckles at the suggestion, lifting and turning his head towards Tommy. “And what? Get drunk on cheap tequila?” 

Tommy shrugs, smirking at him. “I mean I think Maddie might kill us if we get married in another country.” 

Evan’s grin pulls further across his face. His family would definitely not be okay with them circumventing all the wedding plans with all the work that’s already been put in. He had argued with Maddie for weeks purely on the discussion over whether he and Tommy should have a theme or just choose colors. It had taken even longer to convince his sister that navy and evergreen would be prettier in November than black and silver. 

Tommy nudges at the back of his head with his mouth and Evan leans up, looking up at him. Tommy turns, faces him. The wind blows and he shivers. Tommy chuckles, grabbing his wrists and sliding them inside his open sweater. Evan smirks at him, tilting his head as he slides his fingers down towards the hem of the sweater, finding the hem of Tommy’s henley and slipping his fingers beneath it. Tommy shivers at Evan’s cold fingers on his skin as he tugs him in, brushing his lips over Evan’s. 

“I really love you, you know that,” he murmurs softly, brushing a hand down the back of Evan’s head, his gaze drifting across Evan’s features like he’s trying to memorize him. It’s that gaze that makes Evan’s heart feel like it might leap out of his chest, like the stuttered beats are brought on by the level of love that Tommy shows him. His heart starts to pound—something he’s all too used to at this point—but it still makes him a little breathless. 

“Sometimes I still don’t know how I got this lucky,” Evan whispers back, leaning forward, bumping his nose up againt Tommy’s as he grazes his lips against his fiancé’s. Tommy closes the millimeters between them, sucking Evan’s bottom lips into his mouth. Evan groans softly, the slightest bit of pain radiating in his chest at the weight of it all. His toes curl in the sand as his grip tightens on Tommy’s back, fingernails digging lightly into his skin. Tommy groans back, his tongue finding its home in Evan’s mouth. Tommy’s free hand slides down Evan’s chest between them, lightly fisting the fabric of his hoodie when he finally pulls away. 

“Little bit excited,” Tommy teases, smiling at the way Evan’s cheeks are flushed, his eyelids fluttering and his lips still parted, swollen. He can feel Evan’s heart racing under the fabric. 

“You make me insane,” Evan rasps, leaning in and brushing his lips over Tommy’s once more. “Now please rail me in the truck because I’m not going to make it home like this.” 

Tommy chuckles, his smile growing wide. He glances around the empty beach and then back in the direction of where they parked. 

“Anything you want,” he replies hoarsely. Evan gulps, seeing the way Tommy’s pupils widen as he looks back at him. Oh fuck.

Sometimes he wonders when they’ll get sick of each other. It’s been over a year and a half, pretty damn close to two. Still, as they trudge up the sand, he struggles to see the downside of anything in their relationship. Sure, they fight sometimes, and they’ve had the hard discussions. They both have a hair trigger when it comes to the other getting injured at work. But Evan had been sure that the level of in love he’d felt at six months in, when they were still close enough to being brand new that nothing felt like it could go wrong, and also comfortable enough that everything together felt safe, that it would never get better than that. That he could never find a way to love Tommy more. Sometimes he wishes he could go back and tell the version of himself that had been sure their relationship was over after their first big fight—he’d been reckless in a save that had almost gotten him killed and Tommy was pissed—that it got better. It got so much better. 

They reach the truck and Tommy spins him, pressing Evan’s back flat against the steel frame, finding his lips effortlessly as he tugs on the handle of the backseat passenger door. When he gets it open, he steps back just far enough to get Evan away from the frame before he’s lifting him underneath his thighs, settling him inside the vehicle. Evan pulls back, sliding backwards on the seat as Tommy steps up on the doorframe and then comes in after him, pulling the door shut behind him as he kneels between Evan’s legs on the seat. His f-150 isn’t nearly big enough for both of them in the back seat, let alone for a quickie, but they’ve done it before and they’ll probably do it again. 

Tommy’s hands shove under Evan’s hoodie and t-shirt and he ducks down, attaching his lips to a spot on Evan’s ribs and then moving upwards, kissing along his body, sucking in a nipple, flicking his fingers over the other while Evan yanks at his jeans, trying to get Tommy free. 

“S-stop,” he stammers, pushing himself up against the driver’s side back door. Tommy comes up, flushed, licking into his mouth as Evan pulls him forward, shifts his legs around until he’s kneeling while he continues to pull on Tommy’s pants, getting them down to his knees. Tommy makes quick work of Evan’s pants, and then he’s kicking them down, and they slump into a pile on the floor before Tommy is pulling him over his lap, shifting Evan over him until he’s nudging at his rim. Evan whimpers, leaning down and kissing Tommy fully. Tommy slides two fingers in just to test, making him squeal into his mouth, and then the fingers are gone and he’s adjusting himself again, easing Evan down, drinking in the cries that fall out of the younger man’s mouth as he settles. Their lips break apart as he bottoms out, Evan entirely settled on top of him, their breaths hot and hitting a wall against each other. Tommy squeezes his ass and Evan grunts softly, nudging his nose against Tommy’s as he feels the shift inside from the small movement. 

“I love you,” Tommy states hoarsely. Evan grinds his hips. “Oh fuck, Evan, I love you.” 

His heart is racing, and he’s hot, both literally and figuratively, and all he can think is, life can’t possibly get any better than this. 

[andypantsx3]

do you have any tips or advice for being more confident about your writing / avoiding the comparison trap on here? /gen

Hello my love!! Oh my gosh, I have a zillion and one thoughts on this subject. Please excuse how disorganized this is but I am so happy to word vom at you lmao.

I think to start with, it depends on what you're comparing: whether it's the work itself or the metrics surrounding it! I will start with the work itself, and move on to talking about metrics if that's cool.

Your Story

In terms of the quality of your work, there are a couple key things to remember!! Firstly, think it's easy to feel like so many tropes and story lines have already been done, why would anyone want to read mine? But you can circumvent this quite intentionally in your writing by thinking about what new thing you can bring to that trope or story line. And make no mistake, there is always something new, whether it's a plot twist, a unique motivator, a different character's perspective, etc.

For example, I've read and loved several merman Shouto fics, and I also wanted to write a merman Shouto fic. In the development of something in the water, I sat down and thought about what things I'd read about merman Shouto before, and how could I add to that, outside of rehashing what I'd already read. I discovered I wanted to expand on mating rituals, spend some time on the cultural differences a human and merman would inevitably have, and linger in the feeling of a tropical island because at the time of the fic's conception it was like, the dead of my winter LOL. And I do think that something in the water has turned out pretty distinct for that effort; as far as I am aware no one has written merman Shouto being wheeled into a tropical bungalow in a wheelbarrow to watch The Little Mermaid lol.

So you can always bring something new to the table! And it will make your work feel standout to you, as well, as you will be very aware of all the things you did that were unique!! You will not feel like you're just rehashing something that has already been done, you will feel like you're adding!

Also in terms of quality, I think it's helpful to look at fic writing like a growth opportunity rather than a permanent, established skill set. The "quality" of your style is not fixed, it something you actively develop by reading, digging into other people's styles, seeing how they make their writing work, and trying out some of those elements for yourself. Maybe someone has a really rich descriptive style that you find beautiful, maybe someone writes dark psychological fics that thrill you; if you spend time looking at the words they are using and how they use them, you can replicate those techniques in your own writing. You can quite literally make your own writing look more like the writing you admire by reverse engineering authors' techniques.

Conversely, writing as a growth opportunity mean you do not have to be perfect. The process of writing is the process of figuring out what works, mechanically. It's not a reflection on you at all. You don't have to write anything "good," you can publish something you had fun with, see what people react positively to in it, and turn around and take those elements forward in your next story, while abandoning the things people maybe did not love or had questions on. And rinse and repeat over and over until you do end up with something you'd term "quality."

To me at least, that thought is a huge relief. Because I can just have fun, let people say what they say, and do something different in my next story if needs must. It's like any skill set, I think. It takes time to hone but no one would call, like, Van Gogh untalented because he once started with rough and heavy pencil sketches, right?

It's the knowledge that I'm building up my future self's skill set that gives me confidence to publish, even if I'm not quite where I want to be currently! And I really hope this helps you the way it does me; the knowledge that you can do anything, write like anyone, but that it's all part of an overarching process to learn to enjoy writing like you!

Which brings me to:

The Metrics

I am just going to say flat out that you should try to ignore metrics as best you can. In my experience, metrics are absolutely no indicator of a work's quality. Some of the work I am proudest of is what anyone would consider a "flop" by note count, whereas I think some of my most trite & banal works would be considered by some metric quite "popular." And I think that way about some of my favorite fics too, one of my absolute fave fics of all time only recently broke 100 kudos on ao3 after being up for years!!

I especially think this is true on tumblr, where a work's packaging and digestibility seem to be the key elements in gaining notes (ao3 does not allow the same level of customization). Fics with elaborate headers, cute & small fonts (I am guilty of loving these), and eye-catching graphics all naturally draw attention more easily in the sea of other fics, so it makes sense why more people would tend to look at those, and subsequently like or reblog them. I also think bullet-pointed headcanons or single/short paragraph works tend to skyrocket in notes here because they're quick and easy; and that makes sense too, right? If it's easier to read of course it's likelier to be read more!

But those things mean absolutely nothing about the quality of the work within. And you can take reassurance from the fact that you too can replicate those elements if note count is what you are truly after here! You can make a video header with any of the premades on Canva! You can try different font arrangements or cool graphics. You can even write a paragraph and tag it with a bunch of different characters for maximum exposure. There is no reason to get jealous, I think, if you can do it too!!

I also think you have to be conscious of different factors at play with authors. Some authors have been around since the inception of the fandom you're in, and naturally will have had more visibility for longer than you, but that also says nothing about the quality of their work. I've been around in the BNHA fandom for four years, and by a mixture of luck and timing ended up getting to publish a lot of my work during the pandemic when more people than ever were getting into BNHA. But does that make me better than some of the newer authors joining the fandom just now? HELL no lol, if anything maybe I could be getting complacent!

And this goes for the size of fandoms and the popularity of certain characters as well!! A Shouto fic is not going to do as well as a Bakugou fic because Bakugou has like, three times the stans. A Shinsou fic is not going to do as well as a Shouto fic because Shouto has like, five times the stans lol. And a Kaiju no. 8 fic is not going to do as well as a JJK fic because the fandom size (and therefore potential audience pool) has a significant discrepancy! Don't gauge your fic's success against someone else's in a different fandom or for a different character (or honestly even at a different point in the source material's storyline because sometimes a character has a moment where they are most popular but that drops off - think BNHA Hawks in 2020/2021 vs now lol).

There is a huge variety of external factors at play that determine your exposure and audience, but absolutely none of those can ever say anything about the quality of your work. So I hope you can try to distance yourself from the need to compare your metrics to anyone else's, because quite frankly they do not mean shit.

TLDR, think the best way to overcome the comparison trap is to write a story you love and feel is unique, something you are proud of. Because no one is ever going to tell a story quite how you would, and therefore no one can ever be compared. & I hope this was helpful and addressed whatever specific area of concern you have!! But let me know if not and I'm happy to discuss more!!

[jokertrap-ran]

Disney’s Twisted Wonderland: NRC Magic Assault Practice with Crowley Episode 1- Orientation Translations

“I am Night Raven College’s Headmage, so it is without a doubt that I am strong. Terribly so, in fact, so you’d best be prepared.” *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut*

Event EP 1 / Event EP 2 / SSR / Album Lines

Crowley: I see that you have all gathered. I’m happy to see that you’re all here on time.

Crowley: Now then, let’s start your practical training orientation, a compulsory subject that you are required to take… Oh, wait!

Crowley: Hear me out first. I recently went to the town at the foot of the mountain.

Crowley: I’d heard that a store specializing in gibier cuisine had opened there, and I just couldn’t sit still.

Crowley: I waited in line for three hours, and I wasn’t quite sure whether it constituted lunch or dinner by the time I got in, but… I must say, it was very delicious, indeed!

Crowley: Did you know? Gibier refers to the game meet, and as such, comes in many different varieties…

Crowley: If not properly processed, the meat will smell and be too tough. Hence, the art of processing game requires a skilled hand, honed through many years of experience.

Crowley: It also requires a lot of spontaneous decision-making on the spot, so this skill isn’t something that can be learned and attained overnight.

Crowley: What an exquisite art form! Fascinating, wouldn’t you say?

Crowley: …Excuse me, why do you all look so uninterested in what I’m saying? This has to do with all of you as well!

Crowley: It’s important to have the ability to make spontaneous decisions based on experience. This applies to mages as well.

Crowley: And the reason why practical training is a compulsory subject is because actual combat experience is what makes an excellent mage.

Crowley: Therefore, I’d like all students to participate knowing the importance of this lesson.

Crowley: “An all-out magic brawl seems fun.” You’ll be in for a hard time if you think lightly of this class!

Crowley: Ahem… And there you have it. Now then, allow me to explain the basics of this class once more.

Crowley: This practical training class is where you’ll be putting the knowledge and skills you’ve learned in practical magic to use.

Crowley: We will be moving to the Coliseum where a virtual arena has been set up. There, you will all be made to make full use of your abilities, pushing them to their limits.

Crowley: Everything that goes on in there will be monitored, and I will personally judge just how effective your day-to-day studies have been when put into practical use.

Crowley: …Hm? Is there really a need to carry this out in a virtual arena, you say?

Crowley: BUT OF COURSE!!!

Crowley: It is true that past practical training sessions have been held outside of school grounds, such as uninhabited islands or locations that the school has specially rented for the sole purpose of hosting it, but…

Crowley: There have been past incidents of students going missing and taking advantage of the teachers’ blind spots to circumvent supervision!

Crowley: Students dissatisfied with their teachers have also engaged in full-out brawls… In short, it’s more trouble than it’s worth.

Crowley: Huff… huff… Anyway, there’s no longer any need for us to travel that far away from school grounds now.

Crowley: Magical projector tech has greatly improved in recent years, and it has now become possible to virtually recreate areas and enemies alike.

Crowley: With this, we can now cross deserts, forest bathe, and even walk across the ocean floor in the comfort of our own homes. Canceling plans due to bad weather is now a thing of the past!

Crowley: There was many an occasion where we had to postpone it due to sudden storms and blizzards… so we should all be thankful for technological advancements!

Crowley: In any case, since this training is going to be taking place within a virtual arena, you will all be fighting a virtual enemy created by the magical projector.

Crowley: An enemy… modeled after me, Dire Crowley!

Crowley: Taking everyone’s safety into consideration, my virtual clone’s magical abilities have been limited. Although it is a far cry from my original capabilities…

Crowley: I am Night Raven College’s Headmage, so it is without a doubt that I am strong. Terribly so, in fact, so you’d best be prepared.

Crowley: …Heh. I know what everyone’s thinking. “Even with the limit, the hurdle’s still way too high!” …Right?

Crowley: That’s true. However, if you work hard to overcome this hurdle, your efforts will certainly bear fruit.

Crowley: Well then, steel yourself, for practical training is now in session!

Crowley: Now, show me how wonderfully you’ll all overcome the challenges in this special lesson from yours truly!!!

☪⋆ ────── ⋆⋅☆ 𝔗𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔢𝔡 ☆⋅⋆ ────── ☪⋆

[pancakeke]

yesterday I had a meeting with my future boss to go over an issue I asked the whole sales dept to work on cause it was causing customer-facing data problems.

explaining the multiple root causes of everything that led to this one issue felt like describing a negative skill tree. as in, here're all the branching points of failures these guys have been earning over the years to continuously do their jobs dumber and worse.

convo went:

salespeople either do not adequately manage their customers' inventories or don't attempt managing them.

salespeople either do not create processes, do not document processes, or do not train others to follow processes.

salespeople do not understand how to format csv file downloads to begin managing inventory unassisted. their overall knowledge of excel is frighteningly limited.

salespeople do not communicate problems or needs when they do not have the skills or tools to resolve problems effectively on their own. instead, they choose to act on impulse without fundamental understanding of how their actions might impact anything.

salespeople intentionally misuse editable attribute fields in our system to suit their random one-off needs, creating bad data.

salespeople have created such an incredible amount of bad data (and continue to do so) that many basic filters are completely unusable.

salespeople do not understand (or care) how bad data affects other parts of our system.

salespeople have far too many permissions to edit critical data in our system.

the combination of salespeople's wide range of permissions and lack of processes (or just plain inconsiderate behavior) allows them to circumvent critical checks and balances (and I've caught them doing this shit before).

salespeople have been allowed to show blatant hostility for so long that it is impossible to bring issues to their attention and have those issues resolved. they refuse to work toward solutions if they feel slighted.

I could go on.

[hurtmyfavsthanks]

Febuwhump Day 18: Too Weak To Move

Content warning: (temporary) body modification, manipulation

“I truly must commend you for your efforts today. I know it was challenging, but I appreciate how cooperative you were.” Whumper complimented, tucked away in the dim light of the medical bay.

Whumper was meticulous in their work. They carefully stitched the wound together, unconcerned with the blood flowing between their fingers. The wound in the subject’s arm was a neat cut, running from the base of their forearm to just below their palm. It was deep, deep enough for Whumper to extract its right ulna.

They usually wouldn’t perform such care. It largely served to obstruct their view of the regeneration, the sort of disruption they would never allow. They would allow it today, however. Seeing how quickly the subject could regenerate such a grievous injury under optimal conditions was their goal at the moment.

Later on, they would need to see the bone’s regeneration firsthand. Flay the skin open, set a camera to diligently record the creation of bone from seemingly nothing.It would be fascinating. But that would come later.

The subject didn’t respond to the compliment, simply continuing to stare listlessly as Whumper worked.

Whumper gave the limp limb a tentative squeeze. Just faintly, they could feel the bone beginning to regenerate itself. If they had to guess, it would be fully reformed within a week.

They took a moment to mark down their findings, unbothered by the bloodstains they smeared on the notebook in the process, before continuing. “I'm still working to find a sedative that can circumvent your healing ability; as it stands, your body purges toxins too quickly for anything to be effective,” Whumper chucked. “On the brightside, that means you never have to worry about disease or infection. There’s a silver lining.”

”…How long until we’re done?”

The words were spoken in a whisper, as if the subject hadn’t wanted to be heard. Whumper finished on the last bandage. “We’re done right now, actually,” they kept their tone chipper, pretending not to understand. Giving the subject the chance to reconsider.

They didn’t. “Um. No I meant,” they licked cracked lips, voice hoarse from their screaming during the extraction. “This. I know it’s important. I know, I know but…,” a hitched breath, “I’m tired. I want to go home.”

Whumper paused, considering their response. Their research was too important to be restrained with a deadline. They would take all the time they needed to understand every aspect of its regenerative abilities, understand it so intimately that they could recreate it within another individual. It had taken months so far, and it would take several more years at least. That was the price to pay for progress.

They couldn't throw that potential away for one life. Whumpee was a selfish, selfish little thing for asking as much. In the back of their mind, Whumpee decided to put their research into an effective sedative on pause.

But the subject didn’t need to hear criticism. Whumper swallowed their anger.

“Soon, Whumpee” they lied, rubbing comforting circles into the subject’s limp hand, smearing blood. “The work we’re doing here will save millions. We’ll eliminate disease, make breakthroughs in the medical field only dreamed of. Just a little bit more, and I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

“I know, but—”

“Think about Caretaker, Whumpee,” They interrupted. “They're sick, aren't they? They’re the reason you’re doing this. Aren’t they worth the sacrifice?”

The subject fell silent. Whumper could see conflict in their eyes, selfishness tempered by their love for Caretaker. Even that, Whumper knew, was selfish. That they’d willingly doom humanity to suffer the woes or mortality, but would hesitate for a single individual only spoke to how much of a base, self-serving thing Whumpee truly was.

When the subject turned their eyes downward, sucking in a shuddering breath, Whumper knew they’d won.

“I–I’m sorry. You’re right. I…We’ll keep working. I know you’re trying just as hard as I am.”

Whumper didn’t have to pretend to smile. “We’ve both had a long day, that’s all. I’m sure you’ll feel better once you’ve had a chance to recover,” Whumper scanned the subject’s barren room, considering. “Perhaps I can find something to liven this place up. Would you like that?”

The subject didn’t respond. their lips were a tight line, body trembling and tears beginning to form. It turned away, giving a silent nod.

Whumper made quick work of cleaning up their supplies. Once they were done, they left Whumpee to rest without another word. They closed the door behind them, not bothering to lock it. For now, the promise of healing Caretaker was confinement enough.

When that changed however, Whumper would be ready.