#or do work or watch movie or smth
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hiiiiiiiiiii all i’m back home. notable moments from my flight. i watched the first 14 minutes of inception. that’s it
#also i watched another movie n got the window seat#but it was a good flight p quick or quicker than it took to get there#inception was good but i watched another movie bc i realized the flight would b over before i finished the movie soooo yeah. watch me forget#to get back to watching it oml. anyway#back home. tired. probably going to sleep for 2 days straight maybe or boot up my ps4 or#or do work or watch movie or smth#aaaaaaaa. no more traveling for a while maybe#but it was good to see family#my text
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'All I ever wanted, all I want is always you
It's always you'
Taglist♡: @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @sosoftandsweet @changeling-selfship @i-love-you-by-thunder @limey-self-inserts @drjohndisco @bob-in-tekken-8
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self shipper#self insert x canon#oc x canon#wlw selfship#lesbian#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls world tour#queen barb#trollsona#🎸 hard rock hearts 🎸#HEEE#i drew this tonight to relax a little bit#i got the next 3 days off to work on Project but i wanted to do smth fun rn#especially since i watched the movie again and ALSO the holiday short >//<#barb is so cute ugghh!! 💖💖💖💖#and my troll is inspired by mitski's music so she's serenading her with a mitski song!#what will i do now? who knows#maybe eat i need to eat#anyways UHHH HERE#the sillyyyyyy#Spotify
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i've been rotating the "this doesn't make any sense!" response to boy and the heron in my head and i wonder how much of it comes down to like...the kind of audience that engages with ghibli movies vs the kind of audience that mostly only engages with weird art movies vs the kind of audience that only really engages with blockbusters and marvel movies, and the overlap of those groups in the theater.
because, like, the boy and the heron is far and away more straightforward, from a plot perspective, than a lot of other Weird Extremely Personal Art Movies i've seen and love, but it IS a Weird Extremely Personal Art Movie even so. usually the only people seeing Weird Extremely Personal Art Movies, especially in theaters, are people who like that and expect that and have seen those types of films before and are therefore capable of engaging with them even when things aren't as clear as they'd be in an average blockbuster flick. like, nobody who only cares about Cinema to the extent of marvel movies and MAYBE john wick is going to see beau is afraid, and if they did they wouldn't have the tools to engage with such a dream-logicy movie. it would just be a weird thing that doesnt make sense to them, at least until they worked their media engagement muscles with other weird films. there's a lot of self-selection to the kind of person who usually sees these kind of movies.
while boy and the heron is weirder and more complex than a lot of other ghibli movies, as far as weird art films go it is incredibly, INCREDIBLY straightfoward. every weird plot point is explained very clearly to the audience, very little is up for interpretation from a strictly "what was the plot" point of view. boy loses mother. father remarries and moves the family. boy struggles to contend with grief. boy is pulled into a magical world by an old man who wants to use him. time is weird and fucked up in the magical world, but the movie is going to go out of it's way to highlight who's who and make it clear how the time travel works and the characters' relations to one another. the boy refuses to take over the magical world because he wants to live in the real world with the real people he loves. boy leaves the magical world having learned an important lesson about moving on. but the boy and the heron trusts its audience, doesn't handhold, and expects the audience to engage seriously and with focus to its plot and characters and stories.
a lot of people never watch movies like that! a lot of people are used to uncomplicated superhero movies and romcoms and that's it. the difference is that those people were never going to see beau is afraid, so the discussion about that movie instead comes from people who have the tools to engage with it. but because of the aesthetic-ification of ghibli, a lot of people who don't Do art films but are really into the aesthetics of cute little guys and girls in pretty dresses went to this art film and were confused that it was weird and dream-like and dark and strange and requires more of its audience than just passively watching.
anyway there's nothing wrong with not having the muscles to engage with weird art films, though i do think everyone should challenge themselves with the kind of stuff they watch. there's nothing wrong with preferring simple straightforward uncomplicated plotlines. but it is really interesting seeing people talk about the movie like it's insanely weird and doesnt make any sense meanwhile me and the friends i've chatted with about who DO have experience with this kind of film all feel insane because the movie is SO clear and SO straightforward by the standards we're used to. its just a neat crossover re: the kinds of movie fans that exist
#rain speaking!#does this make sense#its like if this was a live action more or even an animated movie from another studio half this audience would never engage with it because#it is on its face a weird strange art movie about the director working thru smth#but ghibli is as much an Aesthetic (a highly simplified 'cozy' and uncomplicated aesthetic that has very little to do#with the kinds of films ghibli actually makes) as it is a studio so a lot of ppl whod otherwise never touch this type of work#are going to be in theaters for it#WHICH IS GOOD!! i hope watching it inspires those folks to engage w more weird shit#sorry for the beau is afraid comparison they rly have very little in common it was just the first thing that came to me#when i was thinking abt other weird highly personal art films made by directors who are clearly#expecting the audience to have a really solid base under them re: their ability to engage with complicated films#boy and the heron spoilers /
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u know surprisingly i don't have a very high tolerance for gore/horror i can watch zero horror movies and the scarier something is the less likely i will ever engage w it
#like through osmosis i knew what fnaf was as a kid bc my siblings were into it and it fucked me uppp#and dont even get me started on doctor who........#had a crushing fear of daleks through elementary school among other things bc of that show#like mannequins mirrors god not the mirrors i used to have a big fear of mirrors#and gore can leave me like out of commission even just reading abt it sometimes#this ofc can all be avoided if i sexualize it all enough (<-my number one coping mechanism)#thats why gore this kinktober has been workable. except like one fic i tried to read ive been good at it#trying to get to the level of being able to sexualize anything so i am no longer afraid of it and its lowkey been working#however i still cannot do horror movies. had to watch smth that i didn't know would be horror w my siblings the other night and#i was like haha! this is gonna fuck me uppppppp#and u know what. it has but to a lesser degree than i expected. perhaps there is hope for me yet
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youtube
IS THIS REAL !??!?!?!?!
EOZ GOTEN REAL !??!?!?!?!
#I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT with the endless content theyve been pumping out itr was just a#MATTER OF TIME befroe i got to live to see them do smth with eoz goten.#A matter of time before we got to see that design again. Having not seen him in official work since like the 1990s.#THAT TIME IS NOW ?!?!?!?!?#HIS HUGE SHIRRRRRT /WATCHES THIS LIKE A MOVIE#dballz posting#Youtube
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AUGH I DIDN'T LOOK CLOSELY ENOUGH AT THE ASSIGNMENT THAT'S DUE TONIGHT I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS A TWO AND A HALF HOUR MOVIE AND TWO WHOLE ARTICLES... WAILING IN DESPERATION I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!!
#perhaps if that was All i had to do tonight it would be manageable (still awful)#but then i have group project work i have to finish and a draft of smth for french...#will just work on my composition while i watch the movie maybe. :(#i'm god's strongest fucking soldier btw if you didn't know#valentine notes#academia
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local woman gets two consecutive weeks off work, immediately starts experiencing some type of Ailment
#literally#yesterday all day at work i was busy but manageable. just started feeling the tiredness set in near the end of the work day tbh#biked home feeling perfectly fine. got in and pretty much instantly i got 1. the worst headache 2. blurry spots in my vision?#i was like lemme relax by watching a movie but then was like huh. entire spots are missing when i try to look.#popped a big painfkiller and drank some tea in case it was dehydration or smth and by the end of the night it had improved but i still#went to bed early just listening to a YT vid letting my eyes rest and falling asleep p quickly even if i did wake up a few times in between#this mornign i was fine. but after a few hrs it's starting to settle in again and idk what to do abt it. i was gonna catch up on bridgerton#then mb get some reading done but like i need my eyes fr that... why is my vision still fucky.does ayone know what to do about it?#mb it's a delayed stress response frm the week ive had? is it a nutritional thing? baby's first weirdass migraine but it comes and goes???#i would do further research trying to read up on whta the hell i got but 1. reading extremely difficult feat and 2. internet said eye tumor#so im like oh fuck OFF#any and aall advice welcome though rip thanks#*edt lying down wi one episode of iwtv later and vision has +- returned to normal. so additional screentime....good???? make it make sense
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need a friend who does not prioritize a romantic relationship over ours desperately i’m so lonely lmao
#not criticizing them for prioritizing that!!#i just do not care nor have the time to date anyone but i want people to do things with#a best friend where we have the assumption that if we have free time we will be spending it together#like they all do with their boyfriends.#even my roommate whom i adore is on facetime like 24/7 with her long distance boyfriend#so even if we’re home at the same time i have to ask like a day in advance if she wants to plan to watch a movie or smth#my best friend is amazing but they made a five hour drive to spend the weekend with their ex and cancelled our plans#to make it up they are visiting on actual halloween but that’s a school night lmao#i have to be up at 6 the next morning to get ready for work so it’s not the same#i know we all just have different priorities but it’s 2am so it’s sadposting time it just feels like#they’re all the people i want to see most but i’m not theirs :/#whatever#personal#delete later
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ate a big breakfast this morning and took my meds when I got to work so an hour later than usual let's see if this makes a difference
#might just mean the crash hits an hour later today we'll see#if it doesnt help then tmr maybe ill take it half an hour before i eat just to see if that affects how i absorb it or smth#i just gotta get to saturday.. i can play around with it a little bit#im a little tired my sleeps felt weird the last few days. also woke up early and tried to get back to sleep but kept having scary dreams#abt various Creatures.. ah!!#and im def coming down with a mild cold my nose has been stuffy n my hearings worse than usual :-( but ill survive#just gotta make it to this evening.... we r watching titane btw >:)#yesterday we almost watched another weird pregnancy movie LOL but i thought 2 nights inna row might be a bit much#i do still wanna see it tho.. ik roommate was gonna watch it this week anyway maybe ill ask if she would mind me joining#its called good manners btw. 2017 portuguese lesbian werewolf movey..#anyway gotta get some work done sigh.. see yall later if i make it out alive#.diaries
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WHY TF DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE SAD SHIT
#i had to watch a few movies on netflix for work#i mean I DIDN'T HAVE TO#but i wanted to do good on this project we're working on#and one was a documentary abt dolphin abuse and the other was a romance drama#and i started that one and decided to look up the ending and UGH#ITS SO POINTLESS#WHYYYY DO PEOPLE LIKE TO SUFFER W MOVIES LOL#it's fine i'll just go rewatch nimona or good omens or smth#work adventures
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Searching for very specific book recs again because people on goodreads can't read:
Looking for a book like Contact by Carl Sagan, realistic science fiction about alien contact that's subtle with no big wars or battles or alternate histories or dystopian futures or greys or such, more of a focus on the characters, on people and their reactions, and doesn't stray too far from actual science, set preferably mostly on Earth in an unchanged present day/or within the past 30-50 years/maybe next 10 years at most, more on the scale of wow, this could really actually happen like now or something like that. Preferably NOT YA.
Alternatively:
Also searching for a sci-fi book (again NOT YA) where I can get overly attached to a funky little scientist man. In the sense that I am currently projecting all my love on Newton Geiszler from Pacific Rim right now when I didn't even have particularly strong feelings for the movie itself.
#book rec request#sci-fi#grounded sci-fi#book recommendations#spare book recs sir spare book recs?#me on goodreads: i want subtle alien contact story set in present day#goodreads response: here is a book set in the year 3000 where humans and martians have become mutant hybrids after the sun exploded or smth#i really really really liked the level of realism in the movie contact and how it was in a way quiet but never boring#i'm waiting for the book in the mail#but like it was a first contact story with a passion for science but quintessentially a passion for the human aspect#idk how to really describe what i loved about it but it was so well made and then the dichotomy of science vs faith#it's so !! and i like seeing all the scientists get excited and doing their work and solving it all and all and !!#there was no changed history no phlebotinum they were working with the science we had in the 90s#and working off of how it might look like if that happened for real like !!#and they don't ruin that immersion with showing us something alien they show us something we can comprehend#they show us cosmos they show us a father and daughter and a form taken to not break our minds#i'm explaining badly but no one gets what it is about it that makes it what it is#go watch contact 1997 and maybe you'll appreciate the beauty of humanity's love affair with the search for alien life and the cosmos
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#to do my fortnightly (?) mopey post!: i’m almost finished a big piece i’ve been working on && planning on finishing editioning smth i meant#to finish like this time last year - and i don’t hate either of them too much but i’m deffo not pleased lol#fgfjfn i feel like the year is slipping away from me already & i need a month off or smth to restart e/t & get a proj going for the practice#but i’ve litch HAD that in the last 6m & it did nothing lol#like.. there’s only so much knowing ur interests & taste can do for u if u can’t figure out any approaches or imagery ://#i kinda wish i worked w a more collaborative medium maybe or that i thought my stuff could stand ANY critical rigour lol#anyway ! remind me to watch a movie tmrw
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art is so crazy in general. i have this revelation like twice a day and it never ceases 2 amaze me . tbh
#like ppl… make tht .. u liteslly made that. the omly person who couldve ever envisioned it the way u did#like a glimpse into ur mind . thats u in visual form .#also im always so impressed by people who manage to have such consistency in their work#like drawing on demand . and in the same style w the same rendering process#and it always feels complete it always feels like . Ueah u know what u were doing#im so envious of that tbh. (crossing my arms)#its smth i need to train me thinks . my creativity is lacking and i need 2 Pick it UPP‼️‼️‼️☝️☝️#like to be able to watch a movie n go home and just draw what u r feeling#I WANT 2 DO THAT!!! i can do that i need to do that more#i need to go to live drawing sessions i think .. 2 better visualize physical form#its always been smth ive wanted to do (eyes go big round and dark)#tht and i need 2 shut the hell up and jst not care . wheres thst tumblr post#thags like oh u cant draw the way u wanted to? who cares draw it anyways❤️#nodding .. yeah..#do u guys also have that imposter syndrome thing where even if u draw#u feel like u are somehow exempt from creating .#ur like oh yeah that was luck thats all but one day its going 2 run out and#HELPP#i keep having those ‘one day’ thoughts its so silly#like ih well one day ill get there#girl that day is TODAY!!!!
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prof said congrats for writing up a proposal so early i am going to get a good grade in. well this is literally going to be graded. but yk the meme
#i really hope its decent proposals are really hard for me to write. i never really understand how much im supposed to say#also i dont plan stuff in advance! i hate drafts and proposals why cant i just jump in and run w my topic#i dont Know exactly what im going to cover just yet can i get back to you once ive covered it#levi.txt#i spent One page just opening the two page proposal so. i know it needs some cleaning up#but the last time i wrote one of these i only got a 75 (not a bad grade but i could do significantly better) bc. and i am not kidding.#i wrote a several page intro abt the themes of a story i was super pumped to write. and forgot the /plot characters and title/#a 75 was honestly generous. that prof already liked me and knew my work so i got very lucky#also i just think the guy im working with for my essay is so cool and i want to impress him bfhshsk#ive taken 2 classes with him before he is so smart and so enthusiastic. i was 1 of only 3 who was there for every class both times#everyone whos helped me has been so cool and very nice to me i want to do a good job and prove that im as capable as they think#and also jesus fucking christ ive worked so hard for this degree PLEASE#if i dont get honours im walking into the forest laying down and letting the fae take me as they will#side note: i have 1.5 movies left (its late and im finishing army of the dead tomorrow + watching evil dead rise)!! thats so exciting#theyve (mostly) been really fun and i feel like i have a really good general idea of where im going w my essay now#the movie eras are starting to kind of organize themselves into coherent themes in my mind#i think its smth along the lines of racism/xenophobia -> social change -> satanic panic -> action and militarism -> prejudice/bias#and i actually think were in smth of a thematic reckoning w zombies rn as a culture that im excited to discuss!!#for so long weve accepted that zombies arent people but weve really been starting to interrogate that since abt the mid 2010s#w tropes like searching for a cure (not just a vaccine) or movies like warm bodies or evil dead where you can truly turn back#and im really excited to see where the future takes the zombie genre!!
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ohhhh the new exorcist movie was directed/written by david gordon green. goes back to sleep
#(⬆️ new halloween trilogy guy. needless to say i don't care for his work.)#now i was never exactly excited for this movie but i at least planned to give it a fair chance#but now i think i will just not watch . unless someday i do a Big exorcist deep dive. tbf i might do that.#sorry i don't even . like dgg's halloween movie that was supposed to be 'good' i think its overrated and the writing sucks#and that's still the best one in the trilogy don't even get me started on Ends.#i will admit he had some good ideas he just executed them in a way that was both. bad. and also actively annoying as hell#maybe let him be a producer or smth and let someone else write and direct the ideas. maybe#avpost#anyway cant wait to watch this guy get handed every iconic 70s horror franchise -_-
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fnaf movie has so many baffling decisions in its writing, editing, scenes, character choices, and just. generally. holy shit. how did they not do a few more drafts of this script
#txt#watched it last night and the amount of stuff that doesnt make sense or like was just poorly done. hooooly hell#fun enough to watch w a friend to laugh at it but like. uhhh. yikez not good movie. josh was fun to watch though#ive never been into fnaf so i didnt get any of the lore refs so that didnt tint my experience#joshs character spends half the movie literallly asleep..#theres one bit where hes at work then smth happens then it cuts and hes heading back to work even tho. he should have. been there already.#i honestly thought id missed a scene or something#mental image of the animatronics cleaning up the blood from the breaking in ppl. i got stuck on the point that most of it got cleaned up#did the aunt get killed in his house? probably! but we never deal w that!!#them not knowing what to do w the cop character so just having her unconscious at the end. okay whatever#etc etc etc etc etc
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