#or actually someone tell me if it ok drawing them getting married inside the church i have tons of pictures L

[kittyvidele]

⚜️ Daytime walk in Jackson Square, New Orleans, LA 🦌🌈

They totally got married in St. louis Cathedral. It's true cause I saw it with my own two eyes skskss 😤

[collecting-stories]

Flowers on the Grave - c. 10 - JJ Maybank

Summary: Everything finally comes to a head. 

A/N: So...massive thanks for following this series all the way through to the end. Seriously, means so much to me cause I was so unsure of this when I started it. 

You Are Ok Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

✞ I was on the verge of breaking down when you came around ✞

The phone rang, shrill in your ear, and you felt like a weight had settled on your chest as you waited for someone to answer.  

Timothy was talking about the same three things that he had overwhelmed you with at the Wreck. Getting his pilot’s license, becoming a missionary, and his strength in the Lord. When he said it you could almost feel your father’s gaze burning into you, your own strength barely a register on the scale. 

He had questioned you further the night before, after he had sent everyone home you had spent nearly the entire night sitting at the kitchen table with the two of them, demanding a repentance for your sins as you tried not to tell them everything that you had done to betray them. If they knew half of it...if only there were nunneries for Baptists. Your eyes had stayed on the clock, watching minutes turn to hours and knowing that JJ was waiting for you. That you wouldn’t make it.  

Now you sat in the living room, watching those same minutes tick away, an escape plan the only thing on your mind as you listened to all the voices around you mingling. All you could imagine was yourself with JJ in Charleston and you desperately wanted to be there, wished you could transport yourself there.  

You excused yourself from the couch beside Timothy, walking into the kitchen under the guise of needing something to drink. In actuality you just needed the moment to breathe. Everyone in the living room seemed fixated on the impending nuptials, regardless of the fact that Timothy had yet to propose to you. It didn’t seem to bother anyone, Timothy’s mom and your’s gushing about what sort of dress you would wear and your flowers. Every second spent with them felt like you were sinking further beneath the waves, unable to get your bearings, you imagined yourself drowning in all of this.  

You glanced over your shoulder to make sure no one was watching you before sneaking out the kitchen door, pulling it closed behind you so that it didn’t make any noise. The back patio had been cleaned off and all the kids were around the front of the house, playing between the church and the front porch.  

“Ace,” the familiar voice came from your left and you almost burst into tears at the sight of JJ stepping onto the patio, careful to stay out of view of the window.  

“JJ...I-”  

“It’s okay,” he said, cutting you off. His eyes looked bloodshot, more so than when he smoked too much and you realized that he looked like he had been crying. “It’s okay...I know your family is inside and all, I just wanted to stop by to, uh, to see you...” he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.  

“What, I don’t-”

“I understand, I swear. I knew that you might not come, that wasn’t like...I get it.” He insisted.

“No, JJ...” you shook your head. Careful not to draw attention to yourself as you slipped passed the window to meet him at the edge of the patio, you placed your hands on either side of his face, heartbreaking at the way he turned his eyes away, “my parents found your vape pen in the house. I...my dad like freaked out on me, I’ve never seen him like that. I couldn’t come to see you, I wanted to, so badly...I still want to.” You swore. “I love you.”

The words processed a little slowly, giving you the opportunity to watch JJ’s face as realisation sunk in. You hadn’t left him waiting at the Phantom because you were choosing what your family wanted, you hadn’t been able to get there. “Seriously?”

“Yes, I swear. I told you I was coming and I was. I just-”

“Hey, it’s alright, I get it.” He promised. He knew how dependent on your family you felt. How dependent they made you feel.  

“Is it too late?” You asked, looking back to the screen door as if someone would walk through. The bruise on your arm was still there, stinging under the sleeve of your dress but somehow it didn’t feel as harsh as before, as much like a shackle as it had last night, “is it too late to leave?”

JJ looked surprised, “you still want to?”  

“Yes. But we have to go now.” You knew there was no way you could go back inside that house.

The renewed sense of optimism that gripped JJ was not without understanding that your window oy opportunity was limited. Leave now and you still had the chance to make it to Charleston before dark, wait and there was a chance someone would step outside and see you.  

“Okay.”

Your absence was becoming increasingly noticeable until finally your mother stood up, promising that she would be back in just a moment, she needed to find you first. “She has a tendency to wander off, probably playing with the children.” She explained as she walked into the kitchen, positive that she had just heard the screen door creak shut.  

Stepping out onto the porch, she looked quickly around the yard, a survey of the area within the trees, looking for you by the clothesline or the church or the old swings that had been set up nearly five children ago. You weren’t there though, the yard was empty. She pushed the door open again, walking back into the kitchen and catching sight of the refrigerator. A note, scrawled on the grocery pad that was kept by the door, had been tacked to the front of the fridge along with a delicate gold cross hanging from a chain.  

Mom + Dad,

Sorry, I told dad I wouldn’t marry Timmy and I meant it. Call you when I can.  

Ace

Your mother screamed so loud it was a wonder that you didn’t hear it, running through the trees with JJ, your hand in his. Once the woods parted to make way for the closest drive-way you saw JJ’s dirt bike. There were plenty of times that you had almost taken him up on the offer of riding on the back of the bike with him but you always backed out at the last second, far too terrified of falling off or getting hurt. Today you hardly thought twice of it, climbing on the rungs and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. You leaned forward, kissing JJ’s cheek before he kicked up the stand and took off, “I love you.”

“Love you.” JJ replied quickly before taking off, grinning at the feeling of your grip on his shoulders tightening.  

The middle of the afternoon was far different from midnight and Heyward’s was open, Pope and Kiara coming out when they heard the sound of the dirt bike, as if they’d been waiting. The moment you each dismounted Kiara was pulling you into a hug, swearing that she ‘knew it’, knew you weren’t standing him up. She passed you over to Pope, who hugged you and whispered in your ear that he was glad you came, knowing without having to tell you that you understood just how much this relationship meant to JJ.  

“Come on,” JJ grabbed your hand, pulling you away from them. “We gotta go.”

“You can take ten seconds to give me a hug JJ,” Kiara said, already pulling him into a hug.  

“Okay, okay,” he laughed, hugging her back and lifting her a little off the ground before letting her go, “we need to leave, I love you guys, I’ll see ya soon.”

“See ya man,” Pope hugged him, “call us.”

JJ was guiding you away from them again, over to where he had docked the Phantom. He had taken your duffel bag the day before and it was still sitting there under the bench along with his backpack. The last time you had been on a boat with JJ had been out on the Pogue, in the Marsh. This was a lot different, the outlet to the ocean just beyond your vision but getting closer as JJ steered the Phantom. Kiara and Pope shouted their goodbyes from the jetty and you waved, suddenly feeling like that weight that settled on your chest was gone.  

“Are you freaking out?” JJ asked, catching your attention.  

You got up from the bench, careful as you walked over to him. “No but I'm sure my mom is.” You replied, laughing a little when JJ wrapped his arm around your waist and guided you in front of him, putting you between him and the wheel. You turned your head, tilting back to kiss him.  

A police car rushed past Kiara and Pope as they stood outside of Heyward’s, heading in the direction of the church and your house. When Shoupe pulled in, the yard was quiet. Your siblings and their families were all inside, your oldest sister trying to do damage control with Timothy’s family while your mom and dad stood outside, your mom clutching the letter and the necklace.  

The cross was something that your mom had given you on your thirteenth birthday, a symbol of your devotion and love for the Lord, now it was tucked in her hand as she tried not to absolutely fall apart. Timothy’s mother was simply upset that you had seemingly skipped out on her son but your mom was dealing with the reality that you were gone and she had no idea where you would even go.  

“When was the last time you saw her?” Shoupe asked, skeptical as he took down your information. You were 18, according to your parents, 18-year-olds didn’t need permission to leave home without telling anyone. So far, he was unconvinced of a crime.  

“Hardly an hour ago.” Your mom replied, thrusting the note into his hand, “she left this...I know that boy she was sneaking around with put her up to it.”

“Do you know this boy’s name?” he asked, looking over the vague note you had left.

“JJ Maybank.” Your father said.

Shoupe frowned, if there was any name that immediately sparked his interest it was JJ’s. It didn’t matter whether JJ was guilty of something or not, nine times out of ten Shoupe was positive that any misconduct on the island could be traced back to JJ and his friends. “Look, usually in cases like this I would tell you that, your kid is 18, if you haven’t heard from her in 24 hours then I’ll file a missing persons. But I know that Maybank kid...I’ll talk to his friends, see if anyone knows anything. You hear from your daughter, you let me know.”  

“Thank you, deputy.” Your father said, his arms around your mom as she continued to cry. You were gone and he wasn’t sure if he was angrier that you had walked out on your family’s expectations of you or that you were embarrassing them in front of a potential future husband. Either way, the thought that something they did contributed to your disappearance never occured to them.  

-

Charleston wasn’t half-way between North Carolina and Florida. There wasn’t anything special about the place and even Pope had asked why JJ didn’t just take the Phantom down to Georgia for a stopover. JJ’s only explanation was that he knew a guy in Charleston and, technically, he did. When Luke had served an 18-month sentence for a petty misdemeanor his cellmate had been an in-the-process-of-reforming drug addict who took himself down to South Carolina to work in a program for recovering addicts. He kept in touch with JJ, making sure that Luke was treating the boy right and JJ always lied through his teeth that everything was great.  

“Nothing to worry about.”

But he’d called a few weeks before with an odd favor. One that Luke’s cellmate readily agreed to, no questions asked, but a strange request all the same. “Meet me at the courthouse in Charleston.”  

Now you stood outside, scuffing the toe of your converse against the pavement, JJ’s cellphone held in a vice grip against your ear. Independence didn’t exist in your family, at least not for you. You belonged to your father until you belonged to a husband and there was no other way around it. JJ was sitting on the hood of his friend’s car, talking about heading down to Flordia, watching you as you stood a few feet away, fiddling with the strings that tied the dress he’d bought you in Chapel Hill. You’d dug it out of a drawer in your mom’s room and wore it now, a small symbol of freedom.  

“Hello?” Your mother’s voice came through the phone, a little grainy.

“Mom?”

Suddenly she was shouting for your father and you could practically hear her switching the phone over to speaker so he could hear you too. His footsteps were heavy in the background and when you were sure he was in earshot you spoke again, not ready to hear whatever bible verse he had earmarked for this very specific occasion.  

“I just wanted you to know I’m okay, JJ and I are heading down south. We’ll be staying with a cousin of his until we can get our own place.” You told them, “but we’re safe. Kiara told me you called the police; you can tell them you made a mistake...I left on my own.”

JJ stood up, walking over to where you stood, nodding to you as if silently asking you to put the phone on speaker. You held it away from your ear and tapped the button on the screen, your father’s reprimanding voice pouring through the phone.

“Stop, stop,” your mother insisted, cutting into the conversation with the only thing you knew she cared about. “What am I supposed to tell Timothy’s parents?”

“Tell ‘em she’s already married.” JJ answered for you, winking at you when you smiled. Charleston wasn’t anything special, expect they let you get married the same day you applied for a license and you knew it was the only thing your parents would listen to. When you had told JJ he’d been more than onboard with the idea. Surprisingly okay, eager even.

“What?” Your father practically shouted through the phone. He had sat up the night, waiting for the call you promised them only for it to come through early in the afternoon the next day with this, news that you had married this kid.

“Ace-” your mom seemed like there was something more she wanted to say, something that she couldn’t say with your father hovering beside her.

“I’ll be in touch, love you.” You said, ending the call and realizing, as JJ pulled you into a hug, that you were crying. “I really hate them sometimes but I don’t...want them to hate me.”

“Trust me,” JJ reassured, “I know all about it.”  

-

Your shoes sat abandoned on the small front lawn, socks stuffed inside as you stood a few feet away, ankles deep in a plastic kiddie pool that was slowly filling with hose water. You still had your uniform on, a short sleeved, short-hemmed, yellow waitress dress that buttoned up the front. Balanced on your hip, your arms around her, was JJ’s cousin’s daughter, his niece for the sake of simplifying things. She wore a white bathing suit with rainbow flowers all over it, a frilly skirt around the waist. Her Elmo submarine bobbed in the water as it got higher.  

“Look, Daisy,” you cooed, drawing her attention to you and then pointing to the object of your interest. An older model Ford truck pulled into the driveway, JJ behind the wheel. “Whose that?”

“JJ!” Daisy clapped her hands with each syllable, thrilled at the sight of him.  

The car door slammed behind him, standing there with his coverall’s tied at his waist, white wife-beater dirty from work. His cousin had gotten him the job at the autobody shop that he’d been promised and JJ was enjoying it more than he thought he would. The smile on his face when he saw you was infectious.  

“Where’s Brett?” He asked, looking around the small yard of the trailer. It was nothing terribly special, a double-wide trailer that JJ’s cousin Brett had bought after his girlfriend got pregnant. Now he lent out the room that Daisy had been sleeping in to you and JJ, asking only that you pay for groceries every other week and babysit whenever need be.  

“Went to meet April for lunch.” You replied, “you’re early.”

“Don’t act so excited.” He teased, getting close enough that you could kiss him, Daisy reaching out for him and calling his name again. “As soon as I change Dais,” he promised, kissing the baby’s head.

“Kiara called, asked if we’ll be up for Pope’s birthday?” You mentioned, setting Daisy down in the kiddie pool and getting out to shut off the hose. “I said yes.”

“Yeah, definitely.” He nodded, pausing at the steps as if he wasn’t quite sure what he had intended to do next, finally turning to look back at you as you kneeled down on the outside of the pool in hopes of keeping your uniform clean. “You okay with going back for a weekend?”

“Now that I’ve fallen into like, total debauchery, definitely.” You joked, “my parents probably won’t even recognize me if I don’t, you know, get stuck down by lightening just walking onto the property.”  

JJ snorted, “slow your roll there Cheech, you still can’t smoke and you definitely can’t handle your liquor.”  

“Go get changed so I can...Brett basically handed me Daisy, threw a shirt on and left. I didn’t even get to change.” You mentioned, pointing to the dress, “I know it’s some weird turn-on for you but I’d like to put a bathing suit on.”

“Hey, I’m happy to oblige,” he called, the screen door clambering behind him as he disappeared into the trailer.  

You had tried to imagine a few times, what you would’ve been doing right now if you had stayed in the Outer Banks, if JJ had never asked you out to begin with. Probably packing for Tennessee, signing off on a life-sentence with someone who thought your greatest contribution to his life would be in how many children you could give him and how well you kept his house. Certainly not living in a trailer in a small town, saving dollars in a jar, with a future ahead of you that was as much yours to decide as JJ’s.  

“Alright, get your ass in there and change.” JJ said, coming out of the trailer. He’d left the white tank on but changed into an old pair of swim shorts, climbing into the kiddie pool as if it was intended solely for him.  

You stood up, brushing grass off your knees and leaning over to kiss JJ one more time, “be right back. Don’t have fun without me.”

“Oh we’re gonna have all the fun!” He called as the door shut behind you.  

As you passed the mirror on the door you stopped to look at your reflection. You looked the same as you had when you left for Florida four months ago but there was something there, something so different that you couldn’t recognize yourself sometimes. A good different though, the kind that settled over you like a warm sun in the summer, the kind that blossomed up in your chest and let you know that all these decisions that led to right now had been the right ones. 

-

Taglist: @outrbanks @mendesmaybank @thehomeiknow @minnie-bby @katiaw2 @2kayla64 @stevie-buck @bijleegiregi  @vitaminekabc @minigranger @teamnick @just-smile-darling @obxsummer @damonsalvawhore27 @isqbella @tomzfrog @fangirlvoice @phantompogues @98starkeys @ilovejjmaybank @lemur46 @khiaraaa-in-spacee @babygal-babygal @niya-savage @divvrx @princess-of-the-fandoms @thecaptainsgingersnap @jenjie @yourprincess-maybe @wowmaybankk @goldeng1rl8 @heavenlymama @vindictive-hearts @alexa-playafricabytoto @dontjinx-it @randomficsandshit @niamhobrien @strangerthanfanfiction713 @tovvaa @freckled-and-daydreaming @harleylynn @bibliophilewednesday @dpaccione @bolaurel @poguestyleskye @beautyandthebleh @under-a-canyon-moon @outerbankspreferences

[raysofcrosby]

HOMETOWN PT. 3

"𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵, 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦." – 𝙎𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙝 𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙣, 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙏𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧

𝘨𝘪𝘧 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵 (𝘹)

𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥: yes and no

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨(𝘴): just some angst (ofc) and bad language!!

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 7,059

𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺: give me back my hometown by eric church

𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰: i did with you by lady antebellum and what if i never get over you by lady antebellum ( like deadass on an epic repeat plz check out these songs!)

𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦: if you haven’t read the first two parts, you can find them here and here! okok so this has been rough to write bc i couldn’t figure out how i wanted it to end and whatnot. but it’s done and i’m actually lowkey sad lmao. but don’t worry the angst has come to an end :-) also s/o to @freddiesandersen for showing me ‘what if i never get over you’ bc that song played a huge part in this finale!! ok enjoy :-)

He was dreaming. He had to be dreaming.

There was no way that you were sitting across from him in the diner right now. Maybe he’s not even here right now. Maybe he’s sitting at a table at the reunion, drunk off his ass and just imagining that the two of you were here. Yeah, that’s it...this was all a dream. Josh blinked once, twice and then shook his head as if this entire situation was some shitty etch-a-sketch drawing he could erase. But he wasn’t coming back to his dream reality– he was here, at the diner, this was real.

Which meant you were real.

“This wasn’t exactly how I planned this going…” You said, talking to yourself as you brought the shake towards yourself and took a sip.

He continued to just stare at you and if you didn’t already find it scary, you’d laugh a little bit. But you understood how he was feeling. Hell, you contemplated turning right back around the moment you found him here, but you had a plan, and dammit, you were going to woman up and face your past. Yet the moment you sat down in the booth, it was like every word you’d saved for this very moment over the last 10 years had just dissolved and you were left with a blank slate, which was fucking terrifying. What the hell were you supposed to say to the boy who single-handedly broke your heart 10 years ago with a few measly sentences?

“H-“ Josh cleared his throat, bringing you out of your thoughts, showing that he too was nervous about being here with you. And you didn’t know whether or not to be offended by that or grateful because you weren’t alone. “Hey Y/N.”

“Hey yourself,” you replied, sliding the shake back to the center and nudging it more towards him with your index finger. “Want a sip?”

You watched as he eyed the delicious drink, your heart hammering in your chest and hoping that he’d accept it. Maybe it could be the peace offering to start off the conversation. He reached out of it, resting his fingers on the base of the glass. “Strawberry?”

Instinctively you smiled while letting out the breath you’d been holding. “With one scoop of vanilla. Wouldn’t order anything else.”

A corner of his mouth turned up as he brought the glass towards him and took a sip from a separate straw. His eyes were trained on how much of the drink he was taking in, while yours were trained on him. And all you could think at that moment was– He remembered.

Josh could groan in relief right now from how delicious the milkshake was. But instead, he just focused his eyes on the inside of the glass and took a few sips. He couldn’t believe that you remembered the shake the two of you would always share. Yet again, he never forgot either. It’s what deterred him away from anything Strawberry flavored for the last 10 years. At first, it hurt too much to even look at something without thinking about the explosive break up, right here in this very booth. But as the years went by, like all things, it got easier and easier and before he knew it, avoiding it was like walking down the street.

“You know,” He sighed, pulling away from the drink and pushing it back towards you. “This is the first one I’ve had in, God…so long.”

“Really?” You asked, bringing the glass back to you and using your straw to stir it around. “Strawberry is your favorite, though.”

“Yeah well, it didn’t really bring up good memories, so.”

Shit. He thought that sounded too harsh, right? He didn’t mean for it to come across as aggressive as it did– it just kind of…slipped out. He immediately looked at you and felt his throat tighten a little. You weren’t making eye contact with him. Your eyes were focused on the milkshake, just staring into the glass, not even stirring it anymore. He fucked up and he knew it. “So uh, life! How’s life?”

You shrugged your shoulders, keeping your gaze on the glass. Your brain was still trying to process the tone of his voice when he had basically implied that your breakup was the reason he no longer drank Strawberry milkshakes. “Fine, I guess. A lot can happen in 10 years.”

“Yeah…it can.” He replied, sinking down into his seat as he tapped his fingers on the table. He was trying his best to take you in without getting caught; still in disbelief about just how grown up you’d come to be. And that’s when he saw it.

The ring.

At that very moment, Josh could feel his stomach drop into the bottom of his shoes, but he couldn’t even begin to understand why he had that reaction. As far as things were considered, neither of you belonged to the other, so what was it to him that you were marrying another guy? Why was it that picturing you in a white dress, making vows and dancing to your dream first dance song with someone that wasn’t him…was making him feel so hurt?

“That’s a uh…” he cleared his throat and nodded at your hand. “A pretty ring.”

Nice job Josh, that’s a good way to ease into the conversation, he thought. But why was it any of his business to ask further questions about your fiancé? Were you two even friends anymore?

He watched your eyebrows furrow as you looked down at your hand, only for them to soon relax before you looked back up at him. “Thank you, it was my Grandma’s.”

What dude proposes with your own Grandmother’s ring? He thought only for another thought to intervene about just how much your Grandmother meant to you and how romantic and meaningful the gesture would mean. “So who’s the lucky guy?”

He mentally groaned. That could have been said in a less cringe-worthy way.

Your eyebrows furrowed again as you brought your hand up to your face, twisting the ring around your finger. Only then, did he see you begin to blush. “Oh no,” you shook your head, laughing. “I’m not engaged.”

“Oh!” His own eyes went wide before he nodded his head. “Well, that’s good.”

“It is?”

“Well I mean, uh…” He could feel the foot he shoved into his mouth travel further down his throat as he gulped. “Yeah, I don’t know what I mean.”

He kept looking between you and the table, unsure of how you were going to react. And when you just smiled and shrugged, he felt a heavy weight lift off of him.

“I actually always wear it on my right hand when I go to events like this,” you sighed, switching the ring to your opposite hand. “But yesterday, Amy had the bright idea of me wearing it on the left. ‘That way people won’t know you’re still miserably single’ I believe is what she said.”

Josh laughed. “She said that?”

“Oh yeah, but you know her. She’s never had a filter.”

Josh shook his head and let out a relaxed laugh as he watched you fiddle with the ring. “Well has it been?”

“Has what been?”

Josh regretted asking that first question because he knew that he wouldn’t be able to come up with a different question and turn away from the awkward moment he was no doubt, creating. “Being single? Has it been miserable?”

You stared at the ring a little longer before looking at Josh and nodded. “I mean, I’ve met a lot of great guys and I’ve been on dates but nothing ever just felt right, you know?”

Josh knew, hell he fucking knew more than anyone else how you felt. There was a reason why he hadn’t been in a solid relationship since the two of you broke up and it was because nothing ever felt as right as it did when he was with you. The countless hookups and one-night stands held nothing against his years with you and that scared him to death. He wanted the whole shebang one day– wife, kids and a house with a dog or two. But he was terrified that he’d never find that with someone else, who wasn’t you.

“Of course you wouldn’t, Mr. Professional Hockey player,” you joked, shaking your head and letting your hand fall onto the table. “What about you? Any prospective Mrs. Andersons cross your path?”

He knew he could go two ways with this. The first, lie straight through his teeth, play along with your joke and say that he’s found one or two. The second was to tell the truth and open a door to the conversation that the two of you no doubt, both wanted to have, but terrified of doing so. “Nope, not even close. It’s been 10 years and I haven’t really been able to find someone who makes me feel…” He stopped; realizing that a simple ‘No’ would have sufficed and just shook his head. “Never mind.”

An awkward silence fell over the table and you couldn’t help but think about every moment over the last 10 years that you hoped Josh had grown up and was able to own up to your break-up. That by the time the two of you would reunite, things would be easy to talk about. You’d get a fairytale ending without well…the happily ever after standing by his side. But that was not the case. Instead, you got a half-empty milkshake glass, awkward silence and Josh barely able to keep eye contact with you.

You couldn’t help but think that maybe chasing after him was a mistake and his silence wasn’t helping you think any different. “I think I should–“

“Well as I live and breathe,” Mrs. O’Donnell walked up to the booth with her signature friendly smile on her face. “Is that you, Y/N?”

You put on your best smile as you turned to face the elderly woman. “Hi, Mrs. O’Donnell.”

“Oh sweetheart, don’t just greet me. Come give me a hug!”

You stepped out of the booth, thankful for the distraction as you hugged the woman who was like your own Grandmother. “You always give the best hugs, Mrs. O’Donnell.”

She pulled away and cupped your face, keeping her friendly smile on her face. “Gosh, just look at you. You were always such a pretty girl, but you grew up to be a stunning woman.” She turned her head towards the kitchen. “Hal! Hal get out here!”

You shuffled back into the booth, looking at Josh who has his attention still on the table. “What is is Diane?” Mr. O’Donnell replied, coming through the kitchen door.

“Oh shush with the tone and look who’s sitting over here.”

Mr. O’Donnell looked over in your direction and smiled. “Diane, who do you think made Y/N that milkshake?” His eyes moved over to Josh and he walked over. “But this strapping young man, I’ve yet to see. Look at you! Win a Stanley Cup, bring it home and then never come back?”

Josh laughed and stood up out of the booth giving Mr. O’Donnell a hug. “Sorry sir, life’s just been…hectic.”

“Oh cut the shit,” Mr. O’Donnell said, pulling away from him and wagging his finger at him. “You come home more often from now on, okay? You, and the rest of the boys. Who else is going to keep this place in business with their monstrous orders?”

Josh just laughed and nodded sitting back down in the booth. “Oh, will you look at this?” Mrs. O’Donnell smiled, walking three booths down and coming back with a picture frame from the wall, in her hands. “I almost forgot this was added onto the wall.”

She put the picture frame down onto the table in between both you and Josh and your stomach sunk. “Look at the two of you. Gosh, I can’t even remember how long ago this picture was taken, but I do know it was in this very booth!”

“10 years ago…”

“10 years…”

You and Josh looked at one another for a split second before turning your attention back to the picture. It was a picture of the two of you, obviously, with a milkshake sitting in the middle of the table and both of you leaning across the table with smiles on your faces. It’s funny. Josh remembered a lot of things about that fateful day where the two of you broke up– but he didn’t remember Mrs. O’Donnell taking this picture.

He knew it was from that day because, in the picture, you were wearing his Knights shirt, the same one you’d leave on his front porch three days post-breakup and the one that he buried in the bottom of his dresser drawer, never to touch again. He stared at the younger version of himself and wanted to do nothing more than to reach into the picture and yell at him for being such a douchebag. Or at least warn him for what was to come.

He looked at you, trying his best to read your expression. You were never really good at shielding your emotions and that was something he remembered and was now extremely thankful for. Because this could be his way to find out just how you felt about seeing him again…about the break-up, 10 years later. Yet, he didn’t know how to feel once he saw the sadness in your eyes…or at least he didn’t expect him to punch him in the gut as hard as it did.

“You two were the cutest things,” She smiled, picking up the picture frame and looking at the two of you. “It makes my heart happy to see you two sitting here together again, and in the same booth too.”

“We��re closing up in about 15, but you’re more than welcome to stay here. We can just clean everything up and then leave the keys with you so you can lock it up and–“

“No, no uh…” You cleared your throat and pushed the milkshake back towards the center of the table. “That’s fine. I think we’re good here, right?”

Josh furrowed his eyebrows, as he looked at you, both confused and a little bit angry. There was nothing ‘good’ about anything. You hadn’t even had a conversation! “Actually–“

But you were already standing up and giving the two O’Donnell’s warm hugs. “I’ll stop by before I leave again, grab something quick.”

Josh felt like it was all happening again, you leaving him there in the booth with a goodbye and nothing else. He pushed himself out of the booth as you walked out of the door and looked at the couple. “It was nice to see you both again.” He smiled.

Mr. O’Donnell nodded and walked off back into the kitchen and Mrs. O’Donnell grabbed the glass off of the table, grabbing onto Josh’s arm before he could leave. “Josh?”

“Yes, Mrs. O’Donnell?”

Her gaze went off towards the door before returning back to him and immediately he knew what she was going to say. “Girls like her don’t come around often. Now, I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but what I do know is how good you were together, friendship wise and relationship wise.” She turned the picture frame towards him and put it into his hands. “It’s not a coincidence that the two of you found your way back here.”

Josh swallowed and looked down at the smiling faces of your younger counterparts. His eyes lingered on your smile and he felt something that he hadn’t felt in a long time– warmth in a place within his heart that nobody had ever been able to reach. He looked up from the picture and nodded. “Thank You, Mrs. O’Donnell.”

He turned away from her and ran out of the door, stopping on the sidewalk and looking out in the parking lot for you. He spotted you halfway across the parking lot, making your way out to the street. “Y/N, wait!”

“Go back inside Josh, please.” You replied, keeping your back to him, but he wasn’t oblivious to the emotion in your voice. You were crying…or at least had cried since you left the diner.

“Y/N, please we need to talk.”

“I don’t want to.”

He could feel the frustration from the last few hours begin to bubble up inside of him. “That’s why you came here, isn’t it? To talk about what happened?”

You had reached the street corner and stood beneath the street light, keeping your back to him and subtly wiping your cheeks. “Just forget it, Josh, it was a mistake, okay?”

“No, I’m not going anywhere because I want to know why you came all the way here, leaving the reunion early. I know you had people you wanted to see and catch up with. Hell, you liked more of those people than I ever did. And yet here you are, away from your old friends and the party to talk to me and you run away…again.”

You kept silent as his steps grew closer and his voice louder. “Stop shutting me out, Y/N. You don’t get to do that, not when you came here to find me!”

You whipped around and faced him, not caring if your eyes were still letting the small tears fall. “I didn’t think it’d still hurt!” You yelled, a small sob escaping from your throat. “I-I thought that maybe I was over it all. That 10-years was long enough f-for me to get over how you broke me into pieces, but it turns out the joke is on me,”

You lifted your arms, only to let them drop to your side again. “Seeing you at the reunion was like every good memory from our relationship flashing in front of me like a movie.” You wiped beneath your nose and shook your head. “But seeing you sitting in that booth again…it was like reliving that day. Only this time, it somehow hurt a whole lot worse.”

For the first time, you took into account just how close Josh was to you. He was standing maybe two steps away from you and you could smell the hint of scotch from his breath and feel the heat radiating off of him. He looked like he wanted to say something and the struggle behind his eyes was showing just how badly he was fighting with himself on whether to stay silent or speak up.

When he didn’t say a word, you just nodded and laughed. “Figures you have nothing to say Josh. 10 years later and yet you still act like you’re 18-years-old,” you turned away from him only to turn right back around, thinking of more to say. “I hated the fact that our breakup ruined me as bad as it did. I’ve met great guys, guys who would make amazing boyfriends and amazing husbands. Who’d treat me right and who’d listen to me and not jump to conclusions, but I can’t allow myself to get attached to them.”

“Do you want to know why Josh? Why I can’t allow myself to open up and care for these amazing men?” You walked towards him and shoved a finger into his chest. “Because of you. Because you basically attacked me with accusations of holding you back that day in the diner. When all I did was give myself, my hopes and my dreams, for you– and you go and switch it around on me.”

You shoved him back with your whole palm, the tears stinging in your eyes as he allowed you to hit him. “I hated you for making me feel like that. I hated you for making me so scared of opening up to another man because I was terrified that somehow, even if the situation was nowhere near as similar– it’d end the exact same way.”

Car headlights caught your attention and you sniffled, wiping your eyes as the car pulled up. “Y/N L/N?” The driver asked through their rolled down the passenger window.

“That’s me,” You said, adjusting your jacket and opening the back passenger door. You turned back to Josh and looked at him through teary eyes. “Why did you have to come after me?”

He just stared at you, not saying anything, so you shook your head and sniffled again. “Goodbye, Josh.”

Josh stood there, frozen in place as he watched you get into the car and drive away. When the car was far enough away, he clenched his fists and screamed into the night sky. Once. Twice. Multiple times before he even felt a slight weight lift off of his shoulders, only for it to crash right back down. You were right there, pouring your heart out to him and he wanted to reach out and take you into his arms so fucking bad, but he couldn’t get himself to move. He couldn’t even get himself to speak.

He ordered an uber back to the school, not bothering to go back inside and see if you had rejoined your old classmates. Instead, he got back into his truck and drove away from his own personal hell. Part of him wanted to just get up and leave, he had the opportunity to do it, and had, by all means, fulfilled his promise to his friends by attending the reunion. Yet he couldn’t ignore the feeling inside of him that was telling him to stay.

And so he did. Pulling up into the driveway of his childhood home, he sat in the car and stared off at your parents’ house just two doors down. Were you inside? Would your parents remember him? God, did they know how bad things ended all those years ago and hate you now? Pulling the keys out of his ignition, he got out of the car and opened the back door, grabbing his suitcase and closing it soon after.  He walked up to the front door, hoping it wasn’t too late and that his parents weren’t asleep yet. Then he’d have to hear the lecture about forgetting his copy of the house key back at his apartment in Columbus. He felt a sense of relief when it was his mom who answered the door and no sooner than she opened it, was he in her arms, giving her a hug.

“Oh!” She said, obviously caught by surprise, returning his hug just seconds later. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Damn it. Now he was wishing that it was his dad who answered the door instead. He should have known she’d read him like a book. “I saw Y/N.”

He could feel her stiffen but keep him in a firm hug as she rubbed his back. “How did that go?”

He could feel his right foot begin to shake as he got anxious and he knew that he was only moments away from his emotions taking over. He took a shuddered breath, holding her a little tighter. “It really fucking hurt.”

“Josh, I need you to be honest when I ask this, okay?” The more she rubbed his back, the more he relaxed into her embrace and with one shuddered inhale, his exhale was a small sob– the first time he’d ever remembered crying about your break-up since it happened. She pulled back, bringing a hand to cup the right side of his face. “Do you still love her?”

When he looked her in the eyes he could hear your words echoing in his head and how bad the guilt from what he did to you 10 years ago was weighing him down. “It doesn’t matter Mom, she hates me.”

She gave him a small smile and brushed back the hair out of his face. “Oh Josh, I don’t think she could hate you even if she tried.” She sighed and patted him on the cheek, nodding into the house. “Come sit down and tell me what happened. Your dad is out in the shop.”

And just like that, for the first time in a really long time, Josh loved being home. He knew he missed both of his parents, but talking to his mom about you and telling her what had happened at the diner with his friends, the reunion and ultimately your blowup on the street– he felt a little bit lighter, but that lingering feeling was still sinking him down. But perhaps telling his mom everything was the best thing because she was able to give him a perspective. Not your full perspective, of course, but a female perspective in general. Plus it helped that she and your mom were best friends, so she had some insight on how your life has been the last 10 years.

As he stared up at the ceiling of his childhood bedroom, he couldn’t stop thinking about what she had told him. How after College you had gotten your dream job in Detroit– only a mere three and a half hours away from him.

How you tried dating and ended up dating a really good guy a few years back, one that your parents thought was going to propose and how you broke it off with no reason, at least no reason to them.

How you were doing pretty successful in the said job and that your parents were shocked when you had requested to be transferred to Toronto out of the blue just last month.

He learned of your life of the last 10 years, one that sounded like you’d reached every dream he knew that you had and he was happy for you, he really was. Yet the one thing that perhaps was bothering him the most, was that you were in Detroit this entire time. You had been so close to him, yet so far. If he had known, maybe he would have reached out and talked about things sooner, invited you to a game. And maybe things wouldn’t have been like this. Maybe you’d be civil towards each other, friends even. You wouldn’t have screamed at him in a parking lot.

And he couldn’t help but think on the happily ever side that maybe, just maybe if he knew you were so close, he would have reached out and the two of you would have cleared the air and ended up back in one another’s arms again. But that’s exactly what it was: a fairytale, and unless you’re the Royal Family, that shit didn’t exist.

He sighed and his eyes, already adjusted to the darkness of his room, wandered over to his dresser that was no doubt still full of clothes he hasn’t touched in years. He couldn’t help but wonder though, if the one thing he had hidden in there was in fact, still there. Pushing himself out of bed, he felt his joints ache in ways that no 28-year-old’s joints should and he walked quietly over to the mahogany dresser. Using the flashlight on his phone, he propped it up against a picture frame and opened the second drawer. 

As expected, it was full of old t-shirts he hadn’t worn in years, including the one you’d given back to him. He pushed them all aside, flipping them up as he looked for it, but it wasn’t there. He sighed, thinking maybe that it was in the third drawer. Flipping through old shorts, again, he came up empty. His eyes settled on the top drawer and he mentally cursed himself for being such a typical boy. Opening it, he flipped through the countless pairs of boxers and briefs, coming to a stop when he lifted up his old, favorite Stewie boxers.

He smiled and picked up the black velvet box, opening it to reveal the golden chain with the matching locket and charm of his number, nestled inside. The very same one you had dropped onto the table in front of him 10 years prior before telling him to ‘have a nice life’ and walking out of his life, seemingly forever. He didn’t even have to try to be able to remember the day he gave it to you.

The locket, one his mom had helped him pick out, was a gift for your 16th birthday and an early 1-year anniversary present. His mom had picked out her favorite picture of the two of you to go on one side and he left the other side up to you. That Christmas, coincidentally, the clasp on the necklace had broken and he took the opportunity and told you he’d get it fixed for you. And he did, but when he gave it back to you at the old park, it was wrapped up in a small box, this black velvet box, and had an additional charm on it– his number.

Up until the moment you left it on the booth table that night at the diner, you had never taken it off. And besides seeing it on display in a store, Josh had never seen it anywhere else, but on your neck. Which is why, when you gave it back to him, he put it back into the box and shoved it in his underwear drawer. Not wanting to see it because it only reminded him of how much of a jerk he was to you.

Seeing it and holding it now though, was a whole different story. While he was easily reminded of the way you looked at him and the sound the locket made when it dropped against the table– all he could think about was the way your eyes gleamed when he’d given it to you the first time. How excited you were about printing out the perfect picture for the other side. The way you giggled when you noticed the added charm on the chain and told him you’d ‘wear it forever.’ 

Since he arrived back in town, even though most times he wasn’t really aware of it, you were on his mind. Just like Tucker said, this place held so many memories, everywhere he went, he swore he could see younger versions of the two of you there too. It’s been 10 years. 10 years of pointless hookups, miserable nights spent drinking away a pain the alcohol was never able to touch, and even the joy of winning the Stanley Cup couldn’t ease it. Yet, it only took him 10 minutes of being back in the town he tried so hard to put behind him, to realize that you were it.

You were the one thing he’d been missing all of this time. The ache in his heart, he could never seem to fix. The reason why every failed attempt at trying to fill a void with mindless sex never worked out. You were his person. His endgame. His, once in a lifetime, girl.

You were it for him and he still loves you.

                                                         ──

The next morning, working off what little sleep he had gotten, Josh greeted his parents, ate his moms cooking while downing a cup of coffee or two and then raced over to your house. He had hoped that by the time he knocked on your front door, you’d be awake and maybe even answer the door, but that wasn’t the case. Your mother greeted him instead and gave him a hug, a reaction he was surprised to receive– which possibly meant that you hadn’t fully disclosed why your relationship ended so long ago.

After cordial greetings with her and your father, Josh asked if you were home. His heart sank the moment they told him no, that you were out and about. But when he asked if they knew where you were going and your mother told you, a sense of hope rose within him.

You were exactly where they said you’d probably be which only made his hope grow a little more. You had your back turned to him, sitting on the swing set on the old park that overlooked the lake where he had kissed you for the first time.

Your park.

He took deep breaths trying to calm his racing heart as he made his way over to you, unsure of how to greet you when he got close enough. Should he say hi? Jump right into a conversation? Maybe just turn around and call it a day? He came to a stop only a few feet behind you and watched as the wind whisked a few pieces of your hair behind you. Your shoes were dragging in the woodchips, keeping your swing in place, but giving yourself small pushes every now and then.

With each second he stood there, he could feel his heart rate begin to rise. But he was going to do this. He needed to do this. “It killed me,” your swing had stopped and your body had perked up at the sound of his voice. He cleared his throat and took another deep breath, closing his eyes only for a moment before returning his gaze back to you. “Seeing you at the reunion…it killed me. Hell, even thinking about running into you at the reunion killed me.”

“Josh…”

“No, Y/N,” His voice was raised, a sign his emotions were taking over. So he did what you and his mom always had him do: close his eyes, count to ten and take three deep breaths. He opened them again to see you with your back to him still and he had to admit, he was disappointed. “You had your turn to talk and I listened, now it’s my turn.”

“It killed me, the thought of seeing you and actually seeing you because I know how bad I fucked up back then,” He exhaled, feeling his chest quiver. “I know how bad I hurt you when I suggested that you were trying to drag my career down, but I was 18 and a total fucking idiot.”

“I’m not making excuses, understand that. Back then I had the NHL draft, London putting pressure on me to stay, I was trying to figure out what my family thought was best…and you. I had to think about you and what would benefit our relationship the best to where we could both follow our dreams. It killed me to hear that you didn’t apply to UBC, Y/N because I knew that was your dream school. You’d been wearing your dad’s old hoodie since you were 9 and suddenly, you didn’t apply?”

You hadn’t made an effort to turn around to face him, which Josh couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. But he wasn’t going to question it, he wanted to get out everything he needed to say…even if it turned out that you had blocked him out the entire time.

“I was 18, I was naïve and selfish and I attacked you over something I had no knowledge of because I was stressed, insecure and I didn’t want to think that I was the reason you weren’t following your dream when I was able to follow mine. It was fucked up and I know that now and I’m so fucking sorry.” He took a deep breath and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Hell, it’s been haunting me for the last decade, Y/N.”

“You know how we were talking about relationships? And you said I fucked you up? Well, I guess I fucked myself up too because I haven’t been able to even consider a relationship with a girl since you. I’ve had meaningless sex, drank myself into blackouts– hell even winning the Stanley fucking Cup wasn’t able to fill the void you left in me.”

He swore he could hear you sniffling, that or it was just his imagination getting to him. He didn’t want to make you cry, that was the last thing he wanted. But maybe, he thought, maybe it was a good sign because that meant you still cared. You still felt the slightest way that he did.

“I want to get married. I want kids. Two, three, six– I don’t care, but I know I want a family. I want a dog, a beautiful house in a city I love– hell maybe even a cliché ass white picket fence. I want it so fucking bad, I know that I do. But the thing is,” he took a few more steps closer to you, wanting to make sure you were hearing what he was saying. “I can’t seem to find a single person that gives me a feeling like you did when I was with you. All of that stuff? It’s you. In my 10 years of being single, you’re the only girl I ever saw that happening with.”

This time he was sure you were crying. He didn’t know if you knew how close behind you he was, but he could see the movements of your hands coming up to your face to wipe your cheeks and your sniffles being carried through the summer air.

“I know about Grayson, my mom told me. She said that your parents thought that the two of you were it– that he’d propose and you’d get married. That you seemed…” he took a deep breath, not wanting to imagine you marrying someone that wasn’t him for it hurt too damn much. “That you seemed happy and in love, but that you broke it off and never gave them a reason why. But I think that you do and I think that I do too.”

“You couldn’t go on with him because somewhere in your heart, whether it be deep down or right there on the surface, you knew the truth. That it’s been 10 years and somehow, you still haven’t forgotten about me or all of the times that we had and it scares you.” He walked up to the empty swing beside you and dug into his pocket, bringing out the black velvet box with your necklace inside. He placed it down onto the empty seat and backed away. “It scares you that you still love me…just like I still love you. It’s been 10 years for me too Y/N and I swear on everything…I’ve never been able to forget you. You’ve still got my whole heart.”

As he stared at your back, he could feel the weight from holding everything in begin to lift off of his shoulders. That was it, that was everything he had to say and now all he had to do was wait and see if you said anything back. Seconds went by and you hadn’t even looked at the swing beside you to see what he had put down. He sucked in his bottom lip and nodded, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his shorts as he went to walk away.

He turned back and took a deep breath, deciding to say one final thing. “I leave tomorrow night to go back to Columbus. I know that you don’t owe me anything, especially since what happened was all my fault…but I’ll be at the diner around 1:30 tomorrow to grab something before I head off...”

With one last look, he nodded his head and turned away from you, walking all the way back to his car knowing that he did all that he could. If you wanted to talk to him, you knew where he’d be. And if you didn’t show up, he’d know that it was time to start putting effort into moving on.

But God, he really hoped you’d show up.

                                                         ──

Another night of restless sleep had Josh looking like a zombie that afternoon when he walked into the diner and headed over to all too familiar booth. Not even the three cups of coffee with his breakfast this morning could have masked just how late his thoughts about you and whether or not that you’d show up, had kept him up.

Mrs. O’Donnell had greeted him with a warm hug and a strawberry milkshake with two straws already placed on the table. He didn’t know what she knew, but if there was one thing he was grateful for, it was how hopeful and positive she was that this thing…whatever it was, would work out between you two.

He had ordered a basket of fries to munch on as he repeatedly checked his watch and grew more anxious as the time neared 1:30. Maybe it wasn’t smart, suggesting that she come to the diner– maybe he should have picked a different spot. At least, that’s what he was telling himself so he didn’t have to face the only truth– that she didn’t want to come because there was no way she could forgive him or even see herself with him after everything that happened.

He was halfway through with his fries and the whipped cream on the shake was starting to melt when he looked at his phone again.

1:40.

The bell above the door rang out, but he didn’t turn around. No matter how much he wanted it to be you, he knew that there was no chance that it could have been. The place was packed and he was sure that it was just another table leaving or another family coming in for some food for the day.

He sighed and popped another fry into his mouth before taking a sip of the milkshake, letting the taste linger as if he was drinking it for the last time. When he went to reach in for his wallet to grab some cash, he saw someone place something in the middle of the table. When he looked at it, he saw that it was the black velvet box, opened…and empty. His head shot up to see you standing there, wearing that old UBC sweatshirt and your hair tossed up and out of your face.

Peeking out from the collar of your sweatshirt was a gold chain and though he couldn’t see what hung from it, he knew was it was. The empty box told him.

You took a deep breath and sat yourself down, unwrapping the second straw and plopping it into your shared milkshake, tossing the wrapper off to the side and looking up at him with a small, but hopeful smile. “Third time’s a charm, right?”

[jamielea81]

A Walk in the Park

Chapter 7

Read chapter 6 here

Description: When your husband dies in an accident, you try to move on with your life. When the memories of your shared home become too much even after two years, you make a drastic change and move to California. A new career, a new way of life, and an attractive new friend help you move on to find the happiness you need. *This will be a slow burn*

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader, Tim OFC x Reader (Face Claim - Tom Welling)

Warnings for this chapter:   So much fluff! A curse word or two. Angst (Sorry not sorry).

Unbeta’d, so all mistakes are my own. This is purely for fun. Comments and reblogs give me life. Tags are open. Please send me an ask or leave a comment if you would like to be tagged.

Saturday came and went. The wedding was small but beautiful. The bride and groom had clearly invited the ones that they loved the most and those people loved them back. You may or may not have teared up during the ceremony. The bride wore a long, white, sleeveless, flowy gown that wasn’t technically a wedding dress, but it was perfect for the beach. The groom wore a crisp white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black slacks. They were both barefoot which you felt was a nice touch. It was exactly the kind of wedding you would want for yourself if you ever got married again.

That was a really big if. You weren’t sure if that’s what you even wanted. You most definitely wanted a partner in life, you and Caleb even joked about that. Nothing serious but you had told him if something had happened to you, you would want him to be happy and find love again. He said he wanted the same for you. But getting married again, you weren’t sure. You and Caleb had the big wedding. Both of your families were there including great aunts, uncles, cousins, your cousin’s children, childhood friends. You were married in your family’s church and then had a huge reception at a beautiful hall. You opted for a DJ rather than a band because you wanted particular songs played that you grew up with and meant something to you. Dinner was served table side. You had a large three-layer cake with various cupcakes encircling the cake. It was a perfect day and you wouldn’t change a thing.

You met Erika and Emma at a nail salon that also doubled as a bar. Since you needed a mani and a pedi, you figured a place that served drinks killed two birds with one stone. Since it was spring you opted for a light pink color for both your fingers and your toes.

You were sitting between both ladies with your feet currently soaking. The chair had various massage features so you were currently playing with the settings not noticing both Emma and Erika eyeing you. Once you found your ultimate relaxation mode on the massage chair, you let out a loud moan and let your head hit the back of the chair. Emma cleared her throat and you turned your head to her.

“What was with the question about Chris?”

“What do you mean?” You asked. The relaxation you just felt slowing fading.

“You know.” Erika said. You turned your head her way. “In the group chat. You asked if we hung out with Chris a lot individually.”

“Y-yeah. And?”

“That’s kind of a strange question. What’s going on? What brought on that question?” Emma asked.

Your nail techs had come at that point and you welcomed the distraction. “Could I get a vodka sour please. Heavy on the vodka.” You weren’t doing this without a drink first.

“So? What gives?” Erika asked.

You held up your hand. “Drinks first.” They both laughed and placed their orders. Your tech started to scrub your right foot and you had to strain not to kick her. This was the worst part of a pedi for you, the touching of the bottom of your feet. Besides being a head sweater, you were so damn ticklish on the bottoms of your feet, and really, everywhere else too. Your drink arrives and you try to take a sip without spilling it as the tech goes to town on your left foot now.

“Now that you have your drink, spill.” Emma says.

“It’s hard to explain.” You take a deep breath and another sip from your glass. “After game night, Chris started to text me a lot.” They both nod. “We then started to meet up almost every day and he would spend the night at my place or me at his.”

Emma gasps and Erika gives a wicked smirk.

“No. No, no. Known of that. Like we just hung out. Watched TV, movies, ate dinner, that kind of thing. Sometimes it was late and he would stay over. Just to sleep, I swear.”

“In the same bad?” Erika asks, smirk still on her face.

“Yes, but nothing happened, just sleep. Maybe a tiny bit of cuddling, but mostly with Dodger. I swear.” You say holding your hand to your heart. “And when I slept at his place, I slept in one of the spare rooms.”

“OK, well, that doesn’t seem too bad.” Emma says.

“Yeah, but Chris and I never do that. He’s never slept at my place and most certainly not in my bed. And we maybe see each other once a week, but more often than not, once every few weeks. We do text several times a week though.” Erika says.

“Same.” Emma says. “Now that you say that, it does sound like a lot.”

“But here’s the kicker. All this week, I’ve hardly heard from him. Like I’ll text and he either doesn’t get back to me at all or when he does it’s the next day and it’s a one-word answer. I haven’t seen him in a week either.” You sigh. “This would totally be fine except for the fact that previous week I saw and heard from him every day.”

“When’s the last time you saw him?” Erika asks.

“Last Saturday. He spent the night and was out of there early Sunday morning. Like, he was probably going to sneak out with out saying goodbye if I hadn’t come out of the bathroom right before he left.”

“Wait, wasn’t your coffee date with Tim on Sunday?” Emma asks.

“Ooohh.” Erika says.

You roll your eyes. “Ooohh? What does oh mean?”

“I think someone’s jealous.”  You scrunch up your face and shake your head. “Hear me out. Chris spends an extraordinary amount of time with you. You guys are practically BFFs at this point. Really, practically dating from what you are saying, minus the sex.” Erika says.

“The day you have your date with Tim, he practically ghosts you.” Emma adds.

It makes sense. You can’t argue that. But he hasn’t actually ghosted you. He’s gotten back to you on a few of your texts and he let you know he’d be busy and out of town for a while. Not to forget, he doesn’t like you like that. He’s never made mention, he’s never kissed you, and he’s never asked you out. How and why would he be jealous.

“Okay. I hear you both. But. But, he doesn’t like me like that. He’s gotten back to me a few times so he hasn’t ghosted me. And did I mention he doesn’t like me like that. I don’t think Chris would have any problem going after what he wants. It just doesn’t make sense.”

They both kind of shrug and look away. You take the time to down the rest of your drink. Your pedi is finished so you all get up and head to the manicure stations. “Did I tell you Tim is cooking dinner for me tomorrow?” They both gasp and awe and you proceed to tell them your plans.

You slept in on Sunday, like really slept in. Okay, mostly you were on your phone while you laid in bed, but you didn’t get out until lunch time. Staying in bed so long helped the day to go by fast.

Tim lived about forty minutes away, so all in all, not a bad drive. You pulled into a parking lot of a tall and sleek high rise. The building couldn’t be more than a few years old. You texted him that you were there as you waited by the condo’s entrance. A few minutes later, Tim was opening the door for you as you walked in. He gave you a quick hug hello before taking your hand and leading you to the elevator. You both got in and he hit the button for the 10th floor.

“You look beautiful.” He said.

“You look pretty great yourself.” You said. You hoped your voice sounded even, but since he was still holding your hand, that’s all you could really concentrate on.

The doors to the elevator open and he leads you to his door. He opens it and gestures for you to enter. Besides the delicious aroma of roasted potatoes and beef, you notice the modern design of the unit. It’s masculine but tastefully done. Lots of grays and blacks. Large stainless-steel appliances and dark emerald counter tops make up the kitchen. The living room has a large black couch that could probably seat ten. Two dark wooden chairs with cushioned seats sit opposite the couch. A large flat screen television is mounted to the wall above a gas fire place that’s currently turned on.

“I love you space. I could spend hours on that couch watching movies and napping.” You say with a smile.

“That’s why I got.” He says throwing you a wink.

Tim did not over promise, he’s actually a great cook. You’re both too full for dessert, so you both settle for a glass of wine and make your way to the couch. It’s so large you don’t know where to sit. He’s standing waiting for you to pick a spot, so you choose the middle and plop yourself down. He sits right next to you and reaches for a remote on the coffee table. He presses a few buttons and soft instrumental music starts to play. It’s nice. It’s dark outside and the lights inside are dim drawing your eyes to the fire place. Tim sits back throwing and arm around your shoulder. You snuggle a bit closer. You like the pace this relationship or friendship, or whatever the current status is going. Tim’s a bit of a romantic and you welcome it.

“This is nice.”

“I agree. I think I would like to share more nights like this with you.” Tim says stroking your arm.

You hum in response staring into the fire. You can feel his eyes on you.

Just kiss me. I just want to feel if this is real.

You’ve cuddled and shared hugs with Chris, but it’s never like this. Not that you would mind spending nights with Chris like this, hell, you would love it. But Chris wasn’t exactly talking to let alone spending nights with you.

Stop thinking about Chris! Tim is here. Tim is sweet. Tim is gorgeous.

You turn your body a little to face him more directly. He’s looking you in the eyes with a soft smile on his face. He places his wine on the table in front of you. He takes his now free hand and gently brushes your cheek. His thumb trails down to your jaw as he starts to caress it. Your heart starts beating fast and you can’t look away from his mouth. His lips look so soft and you just want to feel them on anything other than your cheeks. He starts to lean forward and you stop breathing. You’ve been kissed by a few guys on those first and second dates that never went anywhere. But this is the first time since Caleb that you’ve really wanted to be kissed. You’re ready for this. You close your eyes and then you feel it. It’s soft and tender. Not rushed. He’s holding the kiss to see if you pull away, but you don’t. Your heart flutters and you start to move your lips. He removes the arm that’s draped over your shoulder and places his had on your other cheek.  You feel him smile as he returns the kiss with a little more firmness. It’s still light. He’s not pushing, not trying to devour your mouth. Just gentle kisses. After what feels like several minutes, you pull away and place your forehead against his. He’s still holding your face. You brush your nose against his and he closes his eyes. He licks his lips and you both slowly separate. He opens his eyes and you finally breathe.

“Hi.” You say. It’s mostly breath rather than a solid word and you almost wonder if he heard it.

“Hi.” He says back. You both smile. You’re still holding your wine glass but he takes your free hand in both of his. You both sit there quietly just enjoying each other.

Sometime later you say goodbye. He walks you to your car where he kisses you again. It’s still soft and cautious, but it makes your heart flutter again.

The week moves quickly with small events early in the week. There’s a larger wedding on Saturday so you end up with a lot of office work Thursday and Friday. You’d be at the church and reception hall all day Saturday, so you welcomed staying off your feet for those two days. You’d be working the wedding with Colleen, Victoria, and Juliet, Colleen’s actual assistance. The poor woman.

You haven’t seen Tim all week, but every morning you receive a sweet text from him wishing you a good day. You both exchange selfies and you share pictures of the sunsets from your evening walks when you have them. He shares pictures of his food which makes you laugh.

You get a text Friday midmorning from Erika asking if your going to Chris’ for game night. You reply back that you didn’t know he was having game night and you thought he was out of town.

Your phone chimes again, but this time it’s the group text with Erika and Emma.

Erika: You’re coming to game night.

Emma: You’re totally invited. Why wouldn’t you go?

Y/N: Honestly guys, I wasn’t told there was a game night tonight.

Erika: And what do you mean Chris is out of town?

Emma: Wait, Chris is out of town? Why would be going to his place if he’s out of town.

Erika: *eyeroll* He’s not out of town. He’s having a game night tonight and you are coming.

Y/N: Well, he never invited me. I haven’t even talked to him in over a week.

Emma: Not at all? What the hell?

Y/N: Not at all. Not even a text.

Erika: Why do you think he’s going to be out of town?

Y/N: He sent me a text a little over a week ago saying he was going to be busy for like 3 weeks traveling. I haven’t heard from him since.

Emma: I’m tellin’ you, he’s jealous.

Y/N: You guys! He’s not jealous.

Erika: What ever you say. But your coming and I’m picking you up at 7.

Y/N: Fine. But it’s going to be awkward as shit.

Emma: Yay! See you tonight.

You tried to concentrate on work, but answering e-mails wasn’t high on your priority list right now. You texted Chris once early in the week and he never replied. Maybe he was ghosting you. Smacking your hand against your face, you threw your whole body back against your chair causing it to wheel back a bit. Why am I going tonight?! It did bother you that he had planned a party but didn’t invite you. Plus, he said he was going to be out of town!

You packed your laptop up deciding you would head home for the rest of the day. You fired a text off to Victoria telling her you would see her tomorrow.

Digging through your closet you decided on a pair of skinny jeans and floral blouse. You touched up your hair and makeup before grabbing a beer from the fridge and sinking into your couch. Before you could even drink half your beer, Erika texted that she was there. You chugged the rest of it before dropping it in your recycling bin just outside the door. Tonight, was going to be a long night.

Erika pulls up to Chris’ house and you notice a few more cars parked in front of it than last time.

“Just to warn you, I’m Ubering home.”

She gives you a look.

“I have to work tomorrow so I can’t stay late. I promise it’s not because of the whole not being invited thing.”

“Okay, okay. But you’re have a couple of drinks.”

You nod in agreement as you both get out of her car. Rather than knocking, Erika walks in and you follow close behind her. In the kitchen were Nick, Justin, Will and another guy you hadn’t met. Emma was in the living room with Tim. They both looked up to see you both walking in and Tim got to his feet. You didn’t know he would be here, but frankly you didn’t know you would be here either.

“Y/N.” He says smiling as he walks up to you. The guys in the kitchen all turn to look as Erika makes her way toward.

“Hey! You’re all healed up.” Nick yells. You give him a questioning look. “No more crutches, I see.”

“Oh yeah. All better. Sorry, it’s been a long day.”

Justin walks over handing you a beer and you gladly take it.

Tim pulls you in a hug and you pull the beer away from him so that you don’t spill it, but hug him back with your free arm.

“I didn’t know you’d be here. When you didn’t mention coming, I figured you had to work.”

“I didn’t plan on it, but those two made me come.” You pointed at Emma and Erika who both looked offended. You didn’t want to tell Tim you weren’t invited and have it be a whole thing.

“Yeah, I didn’t think I’d make it, but I the interview got completed early.”

As part of the studio’s public relations team, Tim often had tag along to interviews his clients had. While he found that aspect of the job a little boring, you loved hearing about it.

You heard his laugh before you saw him. Chris had walked into the kitchen from some other room in the house. He was with an attractive petite woman who was smiling up at him with her hand resting on his arm as they walked. Her other hand was playing in long dark hair. Was that jealous you felt; you weren’t sure.

“Erika! Glad you finally decided to show up.” Chris says pulling her into a hug. You were still by the front door with Tim’s arm around your waist.

“Yeah, well, this one slowed me down.” She says pointing to you. A payback comment from when you accused her of dragging you here. You nervously start to drinking your beer taking a long drink from the bottle as Chris’ eyes slowly meet yours.

He gives you a slight wave. “Hey Y/N. Great to see you.”

You’re crushed. No hug. No warm welcome. He is pushing you away and it hurts.

“Hi.” You wave back with the beer in your hand. He’s attention is now back on the mystery woman. You pull away from Tim and start to walk over to the couch taking a seat. Tim joins you followed by Emma. She gives you a knowing look, squeezing your shoulder before she takes a seat.

You hear Chris introducing the mystery woman to Erika. Even though he hasn’t introduced you to her or vice versa, you hear that her name is Joanna. She’s cute and you can see her and Chris together but you’re far too bitter right now to have those types of logical thoughts. Tim is here. Be happy that Tim is here. Think of his kisses. Okay, you’re better.

Tim throws his arm over your shoulder and pulls you to him. You instantly relax and concentrate on the feel of his hand moving slowly up and down your arm.

Will and Justin have turned on the PS4 and are playing some sort of military ops game. You watch for a bit, while enjoying your beer. Emma slaps your knee, startling you out of your haze.

“Shots!” She says. She stands up and starts walking to the kitchen. You finish your beer and look at Tim.

“Are you coming?” You ask.

“Nah, I’m going stay and watch. Besides, as soon as one of them dies, I’m in.”  He throws you a wink.

Your arms encircle his waste while leaning your head on his shoulder. He kisses your temple twice before you let go and stand up taking your bottle with you to throw out. Chris is cutting up limes while Emma is pouring shots of tequila. Erika’s speaking to Joanna about some band but you aren’t paying enough attention to catch which one. Now’s your chance to try to talk to Chris, so you approach him and lean forward so that his eye catches you.

“Hey you.”

“Hey Y/N.”

“How’s work been?”

“Work? It’s just mostly interviews.”

You nod your head and just stand silently watching as he slices the limes.

“Are you ready with those limes Evans?” Emma asks.

“Yeah, yeah. Your limes are ready.” He replies as he carries the cutting board over to the island where the shots are lined up.

He doesn’t even look at you. Part of you just wants to leave right now. You’re staring at him so intently that if anyone else were to notice, they’d feel uncomfortable. He looks up, face straight and you can’t get a read on him, but you’re doing the same. Emma slides a shot glass over to you breaking your gaze. You lick the back of your hand. Joanna takes the salt shaker sprinkling some on you.

“Hi. I’m Joanna.” 

“Y/N.” You say. You offer her a small smile. 

Emma clinks her shot glasses against everyone’s letting out a ‘wohoo’. You, Nick, Joanna, Erika, and Chris do the same, but he doesn’t meet your eyes. You lick the salt, throw back the shot, slam the glass back down on the counter and reach for a lime to throw in your mouth. “It’s like I’m back in college!” You giggle. Emma laughs and pulls you into a one arm hug. “Another!” You shout while throwing your hands in the air. 

Emma pours another round but only she, Joanna, Erika, and you partake. I don’t have to be up that early tomorrow. You grab one of the shots the boys skipped out on and down it. 

You see Erika watching you so you send her a wink. She motions with her hand for you to follow her out on the patio. You step outside, the cool air feels wonderful against your warm skin. You both take a seat on the cushioned lounge chairs on the patio. Dodger comes bounding up to you. You were so concerned with Chris you completely forgot about your cuddle buddy. He’s excited, jumping up and down vying for your attention. You go into full baby talk mode rubbing his fur and accepting puppy kisses as soon as they were thrown at you.

“What’s going on tonight, Y/N?” You keep stroking Dodger but look up and give her a shrug.

“You were right. He’s ghosting me.” She sighs and quirks one side of her mouth into a small smile. “He won’t even look at me, Erika. I haven’t talked to him in awhile and he can barely say two words to me. I really feel like I’m not over reacting here.” 

“You aren’t. Something’s going on there, I just don’t know what.” 

“Tim is great. Things are going well. He’s a great kisser by the way.” Your face heats up and you see her grinning. “But I can’t get Chris out of my mind. There’re feelings there. Even if they aren’t mutual.” You voice barely a whisper. “I didn’t know it was possible to like two guys at the same time. This isn’t me.” You sink down in your seat with your elbows resting on your knees, hands holding your face. “What would Caleb think of me?” She gets up charging toward you. 

“You stop that right now. You aren’t doing anything wrong.” She’s rubbing your back and you start to take deep breaths. Tears are prickling in your eyes. “You’re allowed to develop feelings, Y/N. You’re allowed to be confused about what you want. And Chris is being a giant asshole.” You let out a dry laugh and start to wipe the tears from your eyes.

“I just didn’t expect to have these feelings. And I really didn’t expect Chris to treat me the way he has. Even if this is just a crush and he has no interest in me, I don’t want to lose my friend Erika. More than anything, I want my friend back.” The tears have come out in full force and are streaming down your face. You’re sure your eye makeup is shot. She pulls you up by your hand and throws her arms around you in a tight embrace. You hear the patio door open and you both look up. Chris is gawking at your both with his mouth agape.

“What’s going on out here?” He asks.

Tagging: @crimeshowtrash @cocomel0613 @flamencodiva @the—blackdahlia @thefandomzoneisdangerous @maddie-laufeyson @shameless-pope @tessvillegas @pivans @angelus320 @symonlyjen5 @inlovewith3

[okimargarvez]

SHE IS PERFECT FOR HIM

Original title: Lei è perfetta per lui.

Prompt: Spencer and Lila are getting married; handbook for shippers.

Warning: mention of various kind of TV-series.

Genre: comedy, humor, romantic, friendship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, O.C.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 33 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💏😘🎈.

Song mentioned: L’amore e basta, Tiziano Ferro.

GARVEZ STORIES

I mentioned many of my ships from various series: jelinda (Jim Clancy and Melinda Gordon, Ghost whisperer) ; Elliot and JD (Scrubs) ; Ted Mosby and Robin Scherbatsky (How I met your mother); Tate (Caitlin Todd and Anthony Dinozzo, NCIS) ; Jack and Amanda (Diagnosis Murderer) ; Danny Messer and Lindsay Monroe (CSI New York) ; Semir Gerkhan and Andrea Gerkhan (Alarm für Cobra 11 – Die Autobahnpolizei).

This story is dedicated to @thinitta cause it's just one way to say something I think I don't say to her yet: I love you, we are like a sisters even if we live so far... And I love our crazy conversations XD

SHE IS PERFECT FOR HIM

Luke Alvez didn’t know he was so sentimental before he saw Penelope, sitting in the church next to him, crying during a colleague's wedding. Yet, a song doesn’t stop turning in the head, even after, during the reception, especially when, with great joy, he ends up again next to the blonde IT, sitting right in front of him.

I change, perhaps, always nice, no, nice for me, that I see you always nice that I feel like dying. Even if you close the doors in front of me, sometimes, even if I’m alone and far away, sometimes, and when I am in the hotel, I’m less mine and more of the fate, and write it in a terrible letter, but if you carry a cross, don’t keep it in silence in the soul, love, shout it out loud!

He has eyes just for her, the whole table realizes it. He already feels lucky like that, a whole day without unsub to chase, so long time to admire her. But she, as always, ignores him, talks to JJ about the marriage of the latter and a missed one, hers. And while he feels jealousy rise, towards a stranger who has had the ardor of asking Penelope's hand, something falls on his shoulder. He raises his head and understands instantly.

-Well, they say: wet bride is a lucky bride!- someone exclaims, while some women scream, complaining about the hairstyle cost hours and money. Luke has always loved the rain and today his level of worship goes up considerably. The hotel where the reception is held obviously had foreseen this eventuality, in fact the tables are ready inside, in a decidedly less suggestive, but dry environment. Even these with the seats assigned and not exchangeable. He and Penelope, jubilation, end up with a group of strangers, or rather unknown. The bride's friends and bridesmaids.

-Excuse me.- Penelope draws the attention of a waiter. -There must be a mistake. We... I should be with the groom's friends.- the young man looks displeased.

-I'm desolate, miss, but these are the procedures. Take this opportunity to make new friends.- and he goes away. He never thought that Garcia had these problems, indeed, the opposite, but today she seems so lost in her thoughts. In the end she surrenders, sits down next to him and sighs.

-Well, it seems that fate wants to keep us close.- Luke says, not very loud, pouring himself a drink. Then he asks her if she wants the same, and she shrugs, holding out her glass. Their fingers touch each other.

-Yeah, Newbie, I bet you did it raining, on purpose.- he chuckles, glad that she wants to play in this way. It is definitely a beautiful day.

-Yes, uh, it happens that I have a friend in the meteorological institute...- it's not even a complete lie. He approaches slightly, winking at her and the blonde can’t help but smile, shaking her head.

-Hey, it looks like you've impressed someone.- she whispers softly, causing shivers down his back with her hot breath. They look at each other, he with a confused expression. -Do you see that beautiful brunette, on the other side of the table? Since we've arrived, she's just staring you.- Luke raises his head to check and she stops him. -Stupid, she could see you!- their mouths are only a few centimeters apart and for a moment he loses control. Then Penelope lets him go and returns to a normal position.

-Too bad that I prefer blondes.- he comments shamelessly flirtatious.

-Ha ha, very funny. Instead you look exactly the kind of man who likes brunette, Latin, slender, tiny, in short...- she gets stuck, because she ended up on rough terrain. He laughs openly.

-Brunette, Latin...? That is a feminine version of me. So boring.- the waiters pass to collect the dishes with the leftovers of the appetizer. It will be a long day. -No, I repeat, I’m attracted more to blondes. Light hair, fair skin...- he passes the tongue on the lips. -Better yet, if she wears glasses.- he dared too much and in response receives a weak fist on the arm.

-The more time passes and the more you become stupid, Alvez.- but at the same time Penelope keeps an eye on the brunette who keeps looking at them.

-It's the effect you're doing to me.- she seems to be back in time and there's Morgan beside her, not Luke. She misses to flirting with a man, but she doesn’t flirt with him, never, it's too... dangerous. She looks up at the sky. Without stopping to stare her, the man tries to grab the glass, but he clashes right with... that brunette. Penelope doubts that she took the opportunity to find an excuse to start talking. -Oh, sorry .- Luke is forced to turn around.

-Don’t worry, it was my fault, I'm so clumsy...- yes, she's definitely right, the woman did it on purpose. Penelope finds herself annoyed, but believes it is due to her feminine pride. She would never falling in down to impress a man. Luke smiles politely at the chick. -You're a federal, are not you? I think I saw you on TV.- he nods, shrugging his shoulders modestly.

-I could say the same thing. I'm Luke, nice to meet you. And she is Penelope, the best computer technician in the world.- uh, definitely exaggerated. The blonde is stunned by this presentation, especially because the last time he had said to her a compliment like that, it was a mockery. She merely smiles and shakes her hand.

-But sure, you both work for the unit of behavioral analysis with Spencer!- apparently they are more famous than they thought. -And... if I can ask, sorry but I work for a tabloid newspaper... professional deformation... how long have you been together, you two? There would be perfect to write an article on the changes in recent years within the federal regulation against fraternization at work.- Penelope, who was drinking, almost chokes, while a smile on the face of Luke is painted. However, she talks first.

-No, we're not engaged, we're just colleagues. Just colleagues.- any psychologist could tell him that repetition is certainly a sign of nervousness, present when trying to tell a lie. And Garcia has never been good at lying, as far as he knows. In addition, she seems decidedly blushing.

-Ah, weird. I could have sworn that...- even the brunette who, according to Penelope was interested in him, remains confused. Before she can restrain him, Luke decides to say his own.

-Well, it's actually she who thinks so, but I'm not satisfied to be just his "colleague".- he says the last word in a strange way. -And I don’t give up. She's about to go down, I feel it.- the blonde's protest is slowed by the arrival of the first plate. Spencer have been very attentive and warned all staff that she was a vegetarian. What she doesn’t understand is why the waiter served the same dish also to Alvez. He understands where her gaze fell. -I didn’t want you to feel alone...- he whispers softly, and the tone seems very serious. Penelope swallows and chooses to ignore it.

-Wow, guys, you'd be perfect for a TV series. There is so much feeling between you two. One shot and we would already have a million shippers, I'm sure.- the IT decides to change the subject.

-Do you know who is the best ship ever? Melinda and Jim. Ghost whisperer. Fabulous. They have shown that there is no need for the typical tension of the "before they get together" phase to drive fans all over the world crazy. When he dies, he refuses to leave her and enters that body and forgets her, but he is still pushed towards her... and then when he finally remembers... I have consumed a box of tissues, and if I accidentally turn on the TV and there is that scene, it's the same thing, always.- Penelope talks in one of her passionate monologues. He loves to listen to her, because every time he discovers something new that concerns her. In this case, the thought of her that looks at such shows and is moved doesn’t surprise him. He had imagined it exactly like that.

-You are right, it's one of the best ships that exist. Then Jennifer Love Hewitt is a great actress, very beautiful, without falling into the vulgar, intense... however, I'm so stupid, I realized I hadn’t introduce myself yet. I'm Clara, one of the bride's bridesmaids.- Penelope has definitely changed her mind about the brunette and now they're both immersed in sharing ships, one of the quickest methods in the current millennium to make friends instantly. If you share my ship, then I could even fall in love with you.

-And in your opinion? What is the couple that made you suffer more and that was successful?- Luke has been transformed from an object of desire to an uncomfortable third wheel, and is not sure that it displeases him.

-Elliot and JD, definitely.- seeing the confused expression of Penelope, she opens her mouth. -Don’t tell me you never watching Scrubs!- the other hurries to deny. -Oh, you scared me. It was a continuous back and forth, but even when they were separated... it was as if they were together anyway. And in the end, they got married. Better than that, it could not have ended.- both women utter dreamy sighs. -Now it's your turn.- of them three, Luke is the only one who is eating.

-Ok, I'm a bit ashamed, but... Ted and Robin.- no need to specify which series it is, he even understood it. -I think that producers and screenwriters have found a good idea, that of a father who tells his children how he met their mother and ends up putting in everything about the period of his youth... I do it for anything, talk nonsense, I mean, as at this moment.- they laugh in an accomplice way. -But in the meantime they needed something to move it all, and although the ship between Lily and Marshall is great...- spoiler alarm. -...it is still the canonical ship and it needed a more... messed up. But they have definitely exaggerated, creating the story of Ted and Robin. The French horn was the pinnacle, but there is so much to tell you...- Clara nods, but doesn’t seem entirely agree.

-I have a confession to make, that I fear will break your heart.- even if she is a journalist, it could very well be an actress like Lila. She takes Penelope's hand in hers. -I went on the dark side...- the blonde opens her eyes and nods her head. -Yes, I'm sorry... but I prefer Robin and Barney.- it can be true friendship only if you are able to overcome the diversity of opinions on one of your favorite couples. Penelope nods, not letting go.

-Yes, well, I find them nice too. It is difficult to choose, I think the producers have just done a bullshit, with this double possibility. But after all, their goal is only to have ratings, that people look at it so as to continue to obtain financing.- the sad reality behind every alleged work of art. Sad and resigned sighs.

-But let's move on to really important things. Do you love more the couples who are already canon, engaged, married, like Jim and Melinda, or those of which we see the slow development?- oh yes, it is these, the fundamental things of life. But he is curious to discover Penelope's answer.

The woman seems to think about it. -It's a difficult question, I love both possibilities. Perhaps, but... more the second. I believe that, even in real life, the phase in which everything is in the balance, in short, it is clear that two people are going in one direction but there is still uncertainty, every moment is full of possibilities... is the best. Like the moments before the first kiss...- Luke manages to attract his attention brushing her arm. -What's there?- for a thousandth of a second they look into each other's eyes and only they exist, as pure spirit.

-Nothing, I wanted to know if the ladies liked to drink.- he also winks at Clara, who is quick to hand over her glass. Penelope nods her head. But is it just a casual gesture, or should he read more behind it?

-Anyway I agree, those are among the best moments, even if I always find myself shouting at the television as it is possible that someone is so naive as to not understand when the person he is in love with, feels the same.- the blonde doesn’t notices it, but Clara launches a decidedly explicit look at Luke, and certainly not to flirting with him. The man tightens his lips and raises his eyebrows, as if to say that he no longer knows what to do. -And how kind of dynamic? Friends or enemies? Or, let's not forget, there is also the "first in bed and then exchange of names" version. Usually these are the couples that last longer.- she laughs, while Penelope blushes.

-Uh, I'm a bit bad, but I love when the man is clearly the more taken and she, although not fully aware of it, for some reason decides to keep him at a distance and treat him a bit bad... I don’t know, I think it is guilt of my feminism.- Luke chokes with a mouthful and is forced to drink again. He swaps another look with Clara.

-Give me an example.. it is now clear that the journalist has decided to give him a hand, even if she doesn’t know why. Perhaps she got slightly carried way by this story of the ship.

-Well, Kate and Tony. Although there the situation was fairly balanced, but between the two, in the end, he was the more taken. When Kate died, I stopped looking at NCSI.- a thoughtful pause. -Jack and Amanda. Diagnosis Murder. It's an old series, but, hell, I rewatched an episode by mistake last week and... I realized I was shipping them even more than in the past. Unfortunately, between them there was been only a kiss...- Penelope hasn’t quite understood that she is ending in a trap. As the protagonist of any self-respecting fanfiction, she is naive and unaware.

-Yes, I remember, when Jack saves her life, one of many times.- the blonde nods with emphasis. -But don’t you think that their relational dynamics could be described as that between brother and sister? I don’t know about you, but I grew up with two older brothers and they treated me that way, but they weren’t in love with me, I assure you.- Clara has launched the supreme challenge. She has to demonstrate that her ship contains the motivations to become canon.

And the IT certainly doesn’t hold back. She positions herself better on the chair, waits for the waiters to pass with the second plate, and starts to talking, as a lawyer who exposes his plea in court. -I have three brothers, no, it's not their case. These are imperceptible things, because after all it is not a comedy, but an old-fashioned crime, so relationships develop in the margins, as a boundary and are often used to create hilarious situations. But if we go to see the nuances well, Jack is clearly jealous of Amanda, like in that episode with the doctor who finally flirt with her friend in front of her and it turns out that he was also the killer...- Clara nods, looks a second to Luke, almost winks and then returns to focus on Penelope.

-Yes, that Jack is interested in Amanda is also clear to me. But to be together, they must both be involved. And you say that from the way she behaves with him, that is, because she treats him badly, it's clear that Amanda also feels something for him. I say wrong?- well, Phil will not be offended to share the rule of his best man with Clara. If this is successful, it is the least he can do to thank her.

Luke turns directly to look at her, but Penelope doesn’t notice, so taken by the defense of her ship. -No, that's right. Because... after all, to treat badly, to keep at a distance, they are all defense techniques. The same thing happens between Danny and Linsday. At the beginning they can’t stand each other, they have to argue on any occasion, they prick each other and then... they even end up having two children. I think it's the crime couple with the most consistent dynamic, as Andrea and Semir of Cobra 11 Special Team for the action series.- Clara nods, then, after a few seconds, she stands up.

-Sorry, I... I'm going to the toilet for a moment.- she winks at Luke, who returns her.

Penelope turns to him. -Well, I was right. It seems that something is being born on this table. You'll have to thank your meteorologist friend...- the man smiles, but then realizes that she has clearly misunderstood.

-What are you saying?- meanwhile the time continues to flow, inexorable.

-You and Clara! Hey, I saw that you looked at each other all the time. When she comes back, I'll go to the bathroom, so that you can...- he silences her with three moves at the same time. Leaning forward, bring his face close to that of the woman; he puts a finger on her lips; with his other hand he grabs her arm.

-But what…? No, Garcia, you didn’t understand anything. I don’t care Clara, I told you, she's not my type. You see too many TV series and you can’t help shipping, even in the real world.- it sounds a bit too much as a reproach. She looks at the amber fingers around her arm. -Really, don’t you get it, Penelope? Even Clara noticed it, that’s the reason why we looked at each other while you are talking about couples and relationship dynamics and those things. Why can’t you apply the same parameters to yourself?- he lets her go and she starts breathing again. She can’t think, is confused.

-To myself?- she asks, with a little voice as a child.

-Yes, to yourself. Why the way Amanda treats Jack should be symptomatic of her interest, and the same behavior, yours with me, is not it?- again, she's out of breath, swallows, turns her head. Her body implements every possible defense to prevent that thought from making its way into her mind. -Why did you keep me at a distance before you even met me? And you call me Newbie?- too many questions, she feels like she's being accused, on the stand.

-I... you know. I told you, you took Morgan place, who was my best friend. I promised myself that I would hate anyone who replaced Derek, so it has nothing to do with you. You're not special.- she at least manages to convince herself.

-No, it's not just this. You were jealous of Roxy, when you thought she was my girlfriend. And you can’t hate people, Penelope.- damned all the profilers of the universe. -Do you say that you really don’t feel anything for me? That you don’t even like me a little?- he looks straight into her eyes, as he asks her, he doesn’t even know with what courage. Despair, of course. Clara will be take time on purpose to give them time to conclude.

-Uh, Luke...- signs of surrender: she has used his name; dilated pupils. -No, you're not my type. Surely many women think differently, that you're an attractive man, and there's nothing strange, because it's true.- she got messed up by herself. This time nobody will come to the rescue. -I mean, it's an objective fact, like... like... something that I can’t remember of right now.- she blushes to the tips of the ears and he swears that she's also sweating. -But the physical aspect is not enough, you know?- why she persists to treat him as if he were a superficial playboy?

-I know.- he blames the blow well, after all. -I told you, in fact, that as well as blonde, with clear skin, glasses, the girl I like also has a huge heart, is sweet, playful, and an absolute genius?- maybe white wine that Luke is sipping it was been altered by some substance or he doesn’t hold alcohol at all. It is the only explanation.

-Listen, Luke, I also love flirting and play this game, but sometimes less is more.- she makes clear, while in the distance sees Clara come.

-But it was never a game for me.- he tries to take her hand and sees her wavering.

-No?- before he can answer, the brunette sits, apologizing with her eyes.

-I couldn’t really miss the dessert.-

And... and I’m the only one who knows every answer, and I will not change with the passing time, and while I lose myself thinking about just love... and you remember that this is what I’m, and I challenge life always with my head down, because I care about just love... and I’m the only one who knows every memory, and for me you're not the first thing to come along, because for me you're just love... and I’m the only one who know my mistakes, even if there is still a trace left, in front of everyone for you I’m just your love...

 The wedding is over, the couple have flown off for their honeymoon and everyone is slowly moving towards their respective destinations. Penelope doesn’t understand why Luke is still following her. -Hey, Newbie, the party is over, you can stop playing the part of the seducer, now.- if he was another type of man, would take her by the wrist and making her a turn that would catapult her in his arms. But, unfortunately, he is part of those who struggle to expose themselves with gestures of that kind, the opposite of macho.

-Play the part? Do you seriously think that I am like that? No, but you would like it. It would make things easier. But no. I'm the opposite of a seducer, and I'm not ashamed to tell you. I always thought it was better to be alone, don’t bind me, especially while I was at war. I'm not good with women, I don’t go to a romantic date since high school. I'm a complete landslide.- his words had the strength to stop her and force her to turn around. Luke performs in a sad smile.

-Why are you telling me all these things, Luke? Do you want to pity me? Do you need someone to vent your masculine instincts?- damn it, this woman would put a strain on anyone. -Because, I'm sorry, it's a tempting offer, I don’t deny, but...- he reaches her, shaking his head and sighing.

-Fuck, Garcia, do you think I just want to fuck with someone? Getting that would definitely be easier than a hug from you. We've known each other for two years, and the only kind words you've addressed to me have actually been directed to my dog. You don’t want to give me even a miserable chance.- she has never seen him so much altered, not with her, over all. Penelope trembles, but the fear of getting hurt is stronger than everything else.

-Chance for what, make me believe you're crazy in love with me and then make fun of me? You're not the only one who's been dry for quite a while. I'm better alone.- finally the truth. -It's just because I treated you badly, if you're so attached to me, don’t you realize? If only I...- Luke shakes his head and slowly lays his hands on her shoulders, then down the arms.

-No, it's not just for the chase, it's that I'm fine when I'm with you. I can’t hold back the smiles. And I feel like one of the protagonists of your TV series. And if you want to know, we already have a fan club. And a ship name.- Penelope opens her eyes and mouth. -All the team, but not only.- he answers to her mute questions. -People from O'Keef, Phil, even your Morgan. And Clara.- she doesn’t reply anything. -Garvez, the name is Garvez. Garcia and Alvez. It's not bad, what do you think? It’s by JJ.- of whom others, she had been the founding partner of the ship.

To get out of the quagmire, Penelope finds herself saying the first bullshit that goes through her head. -Lila is perfect for Spencer, because she will never ask him to stop loving Maeve.- Luke is so surprised to let her go. The mouth bent in his typical crooked grimace.

-You are right, she is perfect for him because she can understand and make him happy, even if they are completely different or maybe because of this. But what does it really mean what you said? That your first love is dead, or that you will never look at me in the way you look at Morgan?- the woman understands that he has no intention of surrendering. She sighs, bites her lips and returns to look at him.

-Of course, I'll never look at you as Morgan, you're not him. You're another person.- a calm, resigned tone. In the air around them it is possible to see the formation of the written canon in the sky, in cloud’s shape.

-And this is good or bad, for you?- it can’t just be a fixation, it can’t be just for the thrill of hunting, it can’t be just to take her to bed, it can’t be a sophisticated revenge. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

-I don't know.- she shrugs and he takes her face in his hands. -I can’t risk, do you understand? Because it was so damn taken for granted that I would have a crush on the new one, everyone was expecting it and I hate the obvious things, I hate them to death...- maybe when the man's soft lips press on hers, she changes her mind. A delicate kiss, trembling, at the same time intense. And in those few minutes a real process takes place in Penelope's mind. The defense attorney is herself, the only one to say no, she's not feeling anything because Luke is indifferent to her. Luke is the lawyer, that is the banality. The witnesses at the stand are all their friends and even some strangers. The jury is the heart of Penelope and the judge, who issues the sentence, the one who has the last word... is her head.

The blonde suddenly pulls off and looks at him. Luke thinks he messed things up, but it would still be worth it. Both the mind and the heart are repeating the same thing: you are perfect for him and he is perfect for you. Nothing else matters.

The bang of the gavel. The verdict is: guilty.

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