#operation make sonny happy is a GO!

[delstroyer]

Tottenham vs. Liverpool | 2-1 | Saturday September 30th, 2023

[bullet-prooflove]

Stockton!Series Part Seven: Graveside - Nestor Oceteva x Reader (feat: Marcus Alvarez)

Tagging: @anime-weeb-4-life @danzer8705 @drabbles-mc @alwaysachorusgirl @witches-unruly-heart @mysoulisasunflower @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @est1887 @mortal--soul @buddinglinguist @spookyboogyuniverse @thanossexual @lexondeck @weiwei0210 @trublu2u @justreblogginfics @oklahomapeach @keyweegirlie @wnbweasley @skyesthebomb @dakotapaigelove @jadesamhart @sisinever @msjava1972 @trublu2u @fleureeee @jp1019 @thiashazzywriting @jeybae @thiashazzywriting @collegegirl83 @fanfic-n-tabulous @ravennaortiz @just-a-throw-away

Stockton!Series:

Part One: El Cuchillo - An incident in the clubhouse causes ramifcations for the entire club.

Part Two: Always - Nestor learns about what happened.

Part Three: In the Dark - You and Nestor wake up to find armed men in your house.

Part Four: Sierra - Marcus takes care of the men who tried to kill you.

Part Five: Maternal - Nestor and you take refuge at a familiar location.

Part Six: Times Are Changing - Bishop and Marcus discuss the future of the club.

The light shines through the trees, highlighting the colours in your hair as you stand in the cemetery before the grave of your mother, clutching a bouquet of sunflowers. For a moment it feels like Marcus has seen a ghost, Sierra standing in the midst of the greenery. He thinks that’s what Ramos saw that day in the clubhouse, Sierra’s ghost haunting him. When you tilt your head to look at him, he sees Javi’s eyes and he knows that’s the reason that Ramos tried to kill you that night. You were evidence of a past he didn’t want to confront, a reminder of what Javi had taken from him. A shot at a wife, a family. He wouldn’t have been happy until every last trace of Javi was eradicated.

For Marcus right now the past is overlapping the present. Sierra was never the same after the night Ramos hurt her, and neither was your father.

Marcus remembers the days you had spent at his home, him and Izzy looking after you because your mother couldn’t bring herself to leave the bed and your father was too busy trying to take care of her. He recalls you cuddled up on his chest as he read to you, putting you to bed and whispering sweet dreams before he turned the nightlight on.

Sierra had disappeared not long after that, they’d found her car at the Sonny Bono Wildlife Reserve. Her and Javi used to go hiking there, they’d taken you a handful of times for picnics. Her body had been found in the clearing you’d frequented; a suicide note tucked neatly in her purse.

I just can’t live with what he did to me, it had read.

Your father had gone after Ramos that night, he’d beaten him so badly he’d almost killed him. The only reason Marcus had put a stop to it was because of the shit that was going down with the cartels. Ramos was the lynchpin to the whole operation, if he died, then they’d be looking at a war and the cost of that, the bloodshed, it would have been far too much.

It’s not a pardon, he had told Javi, it’s just a stay of execution.

How wrong he’d been. Ramos had used his position and his connections to make himself untouchable in the years that followed. Javi had thrown himself into raising his daughter, being the best father he could be in Sierra’s absence.

It was your attack that changed things, Marcus thought. The powerlessness, the helpless, it brought back the memories of your mother, what Ramos had done to her. He thinks that’s why Javi started stalking Ramos, learning his routine. That’s what he’d been doing the night that he was killed, the cops had told them he’d been side swiped by a drunk driver, but Marcus knew the truth. Ramos had made his move and taken Javi out. He just hadn’t been able to prove it.

Your father’s death had sent you off the rails, it was the catalyst for everything that followed after.

Marcus clears his throat as he comes to stand beside you, in his own hand he holds a bouquet of lilies, not white but purple. It had been Sierra’s favourite colour. He puts his flowers alongside yours before straightening his spine.

“Do you think she’d be proud of me?” You ask him, the edges of his mouth tip up into a small smile.

“I think she’d like Nestor.” He tells you, clasping his hands in front of him. “I think she’d be wondering why you haven’t married him yet.”

You laugh, the back of your hand rubbing across the tears on your cheeks.

“I don’t think she’s the only one.”

Marcus bows his head before his gaze comes to rest upon the gravestone in front of him. He thinks of the last conversation the two of them had.

“You’ll look after her for me, won’t you?” Sierra had said when he’d visited her at the house. You were in school, and he’d wanted to give Javi a break.

“You’ll be looking after her soon enough.” He’d told her, smoothing the hair away from her face. “You just need to get yourself better.”

That had been the day before she’d driven out to the Wildlife Reserve.

“I think she’d be happy with the life that you’ve build, the fact you help people.” Marcus says finally, his arm coming to rest upon your shoulders. He feels you begin to tremble, hears the catch in your chest.

“I miss her.” You choke out and it breaks his heart because if Ramos had had his way, you’d be in the grave alongside of her, alongside your father. Your whole family would have been obliterated because of one man and his selfishness.

“It’s ok mija.” He says, his hand rubbing soothing circles over your back. “I miss her too.”

Love Nestor? Get added to his tag list!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[seroothincs]

Speaking of Tony and Legs. It's time for Louie. Master Gunner = He usually makes sure that all cannons and weapons are in working order, this guy usually leads a small groups who each operated on the artillery on the ship. To become a good gunner took years of practice and training. Which got me thinking, Louie was possibly a young kid in Italy who dreamed of nothing else but to become a gunslinger, now his parents weren't happy with that since being a gunslinger was not exactly a real job and they couldn't imagine their own son operating guns. They talked with him and tried to get him to settle on becoming a butcher like them but in the end they settled on Louie becoming a Master Gunner in the Navy. Now Italy didn't have a Navy at this point so they sent him off to Britain so that he could study there, he managed to get a job as a Powder Monkey and slowly rose up in the ranks. His Officer was impressed by the little kid's ambition and hard-work. (Side Note: In this AU, Louie was born in 1693 so it would make him about 23 in 1716 when he's apart of Tony's crew. Meaning he would have been 16 years old when he first met him in 1700) Eventually the day came where Louie was allowed to come with on an expedition to the Caribbean, though they were soon under attack by Tony’s crew and once all members off that navy ship were killed or thrown overboard, Tony saw Louie as he was curled in a corner, afraid of what was even happening. The captain was a feared and ruthless killer but after seeing this lonely kid being scared half to death, he took him into his own crew and treated him like his own son. Now he operates as the Master Gunner. Cabin boy = This is a very low-ranking employee off a pirate ship, usually taken hostage or kidnapped, they attend to the needs of the pirates and are servants to them. Frankie absolutely takes this role, he likely is a hostage and just over the years that they continued to keep him he just slowly became part of the family. Feel like they either got him directly from Sicily when they were on the run or they just took him when they raided an Italian merchant ship. Heh, it's funny how they just saw him and Immediately went, "Yeah, you're ours now." and he's like, "Okay?"

Now to just have filled the main roles with the main characters. I did order more minor mafia members into roles as well like Joey “The scar” who could be the Boatswain, this man was in charge of keeping the ship in shape for travel and battle, they would supervise all activities on the boat and I feel like Joey would take that role. We do not know anything about him from the show but he does seem like a serious man with a sweet side to him. Then there’s the Carpenter, who mostly answered to the boatswain, was in charge of ensuring the ship’s structural integrity. Being tasked with fixing holes after combat, making repairs after a storm, keeping the masts and yardarms sound and functional, and knowing when the ship needed to be beached for maintenance or repairs. Willie whatever definitely takes this role, fitting since I also headcanon him as a mechanic in the original show. And I just wanted to include him into this since it would be funny if Joey wanted him to do something and Willie would be like, “Whatever.” and not do it until 5 minutes have passed. He’s just a dude that procrastinates a lot, cut him some slack Joey. Sonny Go-Along would most definitely be the musician on board who gives the crew members some entertainment and lifts their moods up, maybe they took him from another ship or maybe Sonny just signed up to become a musician on board Tony’s ship. A few others I made some thoughts about are Jimmy “The Snitch” who likely could be a French nobleman who once got caught by Tony’s gang and held aboard for ransom. While there he overheard everything that Tony had on plans for their next raids and where to set shore, once the ransom was paid and Jimmy returned back to France he immediately told everything to the government of England over what the fearless and notorious Captain Fatso Antonio had on schemes. Luckily the crew could escape these hunt downs by the English but man were they pissed after they found out who snitched on them.Now to Tony’s crew, They're most definitely all Italians who were outlaws in Sicily and on the run from the police, they needed to go somewhere where nobody could find them and where they still could operate their many businesses from. So they settled on a life on the sea in the Caribbean.

Imma stop at this point since it's getting rather long- but those are just my ideas poured out.

[child-of-of-the-sunshine]

Somebody’s Everything

Chapter 2 rewrite

A/N: as we know I’m not good at rewrite I don’t stuck with it, but we also know I started out writing for seal team on this app so to bring it back makes me really happy and to be writing for one of my favorites again Brock enjoy chapter two of this rewrite guys

Everything was going smoothly for Lindsay. Tony was talking to her weekly and Tali loved it. It was the second week that Lindsay had a smile on her face again. But they decided they should stay friends in the end. It was better; Lindsay loved her job, and she couldn’t give it up. Maybe for the right person, she would give it up.

5 months later

Lindsey was on the president's bodyguard in Norfolk. That is how she met Nick Torres when both were doing the same thing and got drinks after and started dating.

It was their first deployment since they became a couple, and they were talking in what little time frame she had right now “You know I think your dad is catching on to late-night calls.” Nick laughed on the screen “Also how much longer?” he questioned her “two months and two days.” She smiled happily, Nick laughed, he really missed her, the door opened behind Lindsey “We’re wheels up in 20.” Ray said before leaving “Off to save the world.” She laughed, before they hung up, she ran to briefing ans stood next to brock “Now that everyone is here.” Daniel said, Daniel gave them the target package

2 months later

The plane landed, Linsdey walked off, very content being back on US soil, “You coming to the bulkhead?” Nate asked, looking at lindsey “No, I got nice bed and human body pillow.” She smiled “Is this guy you met while in Norfolk a couple months ago?” Sonny asked “I’m not telling.” She said walking away from the boys, they all looked at Brock “I may be her best friend, but I know nothing.” Brock said raising his hands up

Lindsey walked towards and saw Nick leaning against his truck

The team could all see the little reunion between Lindsey and her mystery man. Sonny and Nate were first to walk over “Who is this?” Sonny asked crossing his arms, Nate did the same “Nick Torres.” He said holding out his hand “How do know her?” Nate questioned him, “Um.” Nick swallowed hard, he was being integrated by two tier one operators “I’m her boyfriend.” Nick said, “Oh you the mystery man?” Nate questioned him, tilting his head “Guy’s stop.” Lindsey said giving them a look “Not a fan of the protective brother act?” Sonny questioned her “Not really.” She said crossing her arms

The rest of the team stopped to watch “Are playing overprotective brothers?” Lisa questioned the guy “They have her six anywhere.” Ray said they watched Nate and Sonny walk back “Don’t like him.” Nate spoke as he came into earshot of the team “Didn’t you say that about Tony?” Trent questioned him “He had a kid, even if he didn’t know about said kid.” Nate spoke

As they drove to Norfolk “Hey, I’m really sorry about the guys.” She said, looking at him “I get I mean, there's your team, a new guy comes around.” Nick laughed, “If you really want you should see all of them…” Lindsey paused realizing she was about to say some classified information “See them all what?” Nick asked “I can’t it’s a little classified.” She said shaking her head “Was it the same op Brock saved your ass?” Nick questioned her, she shook her “Also I did the same thing with my sister.” He said changing the subject “You guys are related Nate and Sonny, just adopted me as there own one day.” She laughed shaking her head

“You tried.” He asked, grabbing her hand “Yeah.” She said closing her eyes “Your place or mine?” He questioned her “Your’s it’s closer.” She smiled at him

He he finished the drive to his apartment in Norfolk once we got there he grabbed my bag before opening my door for me, we walked up to his apartment and went inside as soon as we got inside I walked to his bedroom and grabbed one of is sweaters and then walked back to the living room where Nick was, Nick watched her “You stealing my stuff again?” He questioned her "Yeah the sweater I took with me needs a refill," she said smiling, Nick had no idea one of his hoodie was missing, until he wanted to wear it. He walked over and grabbed her hips and brought her into a passionate kiss

[jtardich2]

Hotel Industry

I think owning and operating a hotel is a huge responsibility that can be both scary and exciting! I have learned many things about the hotel industry and how much work and time goes into owning a hotel. In the film, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, the owner Sonny takes on so much in his dreams of having a hotel. Sonny has to deal with issues concerning finances, plumbing, and electricity while also ensuring his residents are happy. I think it would be hard to deal with these problems all at once and have the normal responsibilities that a hotel owner does daily. However, there are things that make having a hotel worth it. Putting something together and making it your own is something that can be very special. Additionally, sharing that with other people and seeing them enjoy your place would be a great feeling. Sonny definitely loved this feeling, and also he built so many wonderful friendships with the residents, and they became family. I really like building connections and hearing about other people’s stories, and to me, that would be worth owning a hotel. 

If I had all the resources in the world, I would build one hotel for families and another for older adults. The hotels would be joined so residents could experience the two hotels. It would be built on the beach and be in a place with an active environment with things residents can do outside of the hotel. The hotel for older adults would have a calmer feel with activities like a spa, painting room, library, and other relaxing things. Then the other side for families would have fun things like sports courts, dance/night clubs, etc. Residents can go to either side of their choosing or want to adventure out. My hotel is different because everyone is usually grouped together in one place. At my hotel, people choose where they want to stay or go based on whether they want a relaxing or fun-filled and exciting vacation. If I could spend a week in a hotel, it would be Post Ranch Inn in Big Sur, California. I am sure there are so many great hotels that are beautiful, but Post Ranch Inn is on my bucket list! I think the view is breathtaking and even more so when the sun sets. Just a couple of days at this hotel would be so awesome!

[foryouthem00n]

“Alive.”

TW: Mention of blood, mention of a shooting

-

Sonny has been undercover for about a week now. He’s been trying to get details on a sex trafficking ring that SVU is investigating and trying to bust. You’ve been worried sick about him ever since he started the operation. Not knowing if something would happen to him, thinking about the disgusting, dangerous people that he’d be interacting with. It was eating away at you.

It was late on a Friday night, and you couldn’t sleep. You tossed and turned in your bed, thoughts racing. You were just hoping that Sonny was okay. You wouldn’t be able to sleep until you got that confirmation, which, unfortunately you wouldn’t get until he was done being undercover.

When you finally started to doze off around 2 am, your phone vibrated on the table beside the bed. You picked it up, looking at the screen. Olivia was calling.

You answered immediately. “Liv? Is something wrong?”

“There’s been a shooting… Carisi isn’t hurt, but he was the initial target… He’s just a bit shaken up right now. We’ve taken his statement, and I think he’d be really happy to see you and get back home.”

Your heart dropped in your chest hearing Olivia say that there’s been a shooting. You were so glad to know that Sonny wasn’t shot but the fact that he could’ve been and almost was made you so scared for him.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thanks, Liv.” You hung up and slipped on some sweatpants, a sweatshirt and shoes and ran out of the apartment.

You got to the scene of the crime and made your way through police officers, EMS, and possible criminals and suspects. You saw Sonny sitting in the back of an ambulance, covered in blood with a blanket wrapped around him, Olivia standing next to him. He was staring at the ground, completely zoned out, and more than likely traumatized.

You ran over to the ambulance. You didn’t touch Sonny right away because you didn’t want to spook him. He didn’t even notice that there was someone standing in front of him.

“Dom?” You quietly called out.

Sonny lifted his head and immediately got up and pulled you in close to him. He didn’t say anything, he just let out a deep sigh as if he had been holding his breath for as long as he could.

“Y/N…” He cried.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m here now. I’m so glad that you’re safe.”

Sonny continued to stay silent, holding you as tight as he could.

You let go of Sonny, looking up at him. “Why don’t we get you home, hm?”

He nodded, and then turned around to face Olivia. “Let me know if you need anything tomorrow.”

“Take a few days, Carisi. You need it after all that you’ve been through this week. We’ll be okay until you come back, I promise.” Olivia reassured.

Sonny nodded yet again, not having anything to say. You took his hand, leading him away from the ambulance.

You turned around and mouthed “thank you” to Olivia before making your way back to the car. She gave you a smile and walked away to talk to another officer.

The car ride home was silent, as you expected. You held Sonny’s hand the entire way back to the apartment, squeezing it every so often to let him know you were still there with him as he wasn’t mentally present.

Once you got to your apartment, you sat Sonny down on the couch and went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. He chugged it as soon as you gave it to him.

“I’m gonna run a bath for you, okay? You need some time to relax a bit.”

Usually Sonny would object to things like you running him a bath, or any kind of act of taking care of him in general, but this time, he didn’t. He just nodded and sat on the couch, zoning out yet again.

When the bath was ready, you went back out to the living room to get Sonny. You took his hand and helped him up off of the couch.

“C’mon love, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Sonny followed you to the bathroom, and you carefully took off his clothes, throwing them on the floor.

As Sonny climbed into the bathtub, you began taking off your clothes and then you got in with him. He sighed as he laid back against the tub, taking in the feeling of the warm water.

You got a wash cloth and dabbed his face as gently as you could, washing the blood off. You finished cleaning his face and moved farther down to his neck, shoulders and torso, washing him regardless of whether there was blood or not.

“Oh Sonny, you have such bad bruises.” You pointed out as you rubbed soap onto his torso.

“Yeah...” Sonny mumbled as he looked down at the bruises.

You could tell that Sonny was uncomfortable, so you diverted from the subject by grabbing some shampoo and rubbing it in your hands.

“Come here, let me wash your hair.” You told Sonny, motioning for him to move closer to you.

He bent his head down and you massaged the shampoo into his scalp.

Sonny quietly hummed in pleasure as you washed his hair.

You smiled at him. You loved getting to take care of Sonny the same way that he takes care of you, especially when he needs you most.

You stopped and rinsed your hands in the water while Sonny laid back and rinsed out his hair. He sat back up and looked at you, staring intently.

“Where’s your head at, Dom?”

Tears started to form in Sonny’s eyes as you waited for a response. He then started to sob. “I... I thought that I was gonna die.”

“Oh, my baby,” You wrapped your arms around him, rubbing his back. “You’re here and you’re alive.”

Sonny cried into your shoulder. “I didn’t think that I’d ever see you again. I wasn’t going to be able to say goodbye.”

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore, love. I’m right here with you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can’t lose you.” Sonny whispered into the crook of your neck.

You released your hold on Sonny. “Hey, look at me.”

Sonny lifted his head up and looked at you, his eyes bloodshot, swollen and filled with tears.

“You’re not going to lose me, baby. I’m not going to let that happen. I’m right here with you, always. I love you way too much to leave, Dominick Carisi. You know that.”

Sonny engulfed you in his arms, holding you as tight as he could, not saying a word. He didn’t have to say anything though, you already knew what he was thinking and feeling.

You pulled away after a while. “Let’s go to bed. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

Sonny nodded as you both stood up and got out of the bath. The two of you dried off and got into your pajamas and climbed into bed.

Sonny sighed in relief as he wrapped himself around your torso and laid his head on your chest. Just the sound of him breathing in and out, and the feeling of his heart beating against your body made you feel at ease after all of the worrying you did when he was undercover.

You ran your fingers through Sonny’s damp hair, over and over again, as he laid there with you in silence. It was soothing for both of you. Not long after you started, you could hear Sonny begin to lightly snore. You removed your fingers from Sonny’s hair and kissed his head.

“I’m so glad that you’re alive.”

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

The Best of Sun Rockabilly, Vol. 2 1986 Rockabilly / Rock & Roll / Country

Before I dig right in to reviewing this comp, allow me to contextualize it a bit first. The Best of Sun Rockabilly, Vol. 2 is a UK-released compilation that was put out by one of those "retro and reissue" labels called Charly Records, which is sort of like a UK counterpart to what Rhino is in the US.

Throughout the 70s and 80s, there was a big revival period for rockabilly music, a genre that began in the 50s in the American south that more or less blended country music with primordial rock & roll. Rockabilly revival was spurred on by films and TV shows like American Graffiti and Happy Days.

And it was big in the UK too, so much so, that a whole clubgoing and record collecting subculture sprang up over there because of it. And one of the greatest rockabilly revival DJs and collectors out in the UK was a guy by the name of Tom Ingram, the person who's responsible for putting together this here comp.

One of the most important labels in the history of rockabilly, country, and rock and roll is the Memphis-based Sun Records. Sun was the first label to record Elvis, Carl Perkins, Roy Orbison, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Charlie Rich.

Now, Ingram could've just taken the easy way out here and just given us a "just the hits" kind of compilation. I mean, it's Sun Records. They have lots and lots of hits.

But Ingram's a DJ, so, naturally, that's not how he operates. Instead, while he plies us with some rockabilly classics, a lot of time is spent on giving us underheard, overlooked, and flat-out forgotten gems from the Sun catalog. Some of the tunes on here, in fact, had only just recently been unearthed, and some of them had also not yet been digitized to CD, a format that was still relatively new in 1986 when this release originally came out.

So, here we have a rather good and uniquely nuanced look at the Sun Records catalog, delivered to us through the eyes of a preeminent British rockabilly DJ and record collector.

Now, when it comes to rockabilly music, the stuff I tend to grab onto is the rollicking, barn-rocking type of stuff. And while that's not what this comp is entirely, there's more than enough of those types of tunes to make this comp more than worth my while. Billy Lee Riley's "Baby Please Don't Go" and Warren Smith's "Miss Froggie" feature both men's raw and scratchy vocals; Barbara Pittman sports her uniquely squeaky-shrieky-hiccup style over a tumblingly jutty rhythm and melody for "Sentimental Fool"; and outside of the instrumental surges on Jack Earls' "My Girl Mary-Ann," I dunno what's providing the percussion, but I'm pretty sure it's not drums. Unorthodox rhythm going on there on that one for a 50s rockabilly tune. Nice.

Simply put, this comp is a lot of fun to listen to. I get the barn-rockers I want, some cool slept-on gems, and a bunch of classics too. I don't love all of it, but it's a good and nuanced historical look at a towering, foundational, and indispensable label that changed the course of music forever. And it's a bang-up job by Tom Ingram to put his own spin on it.

Highlights:

Sonny Burgess - "Itchy" Billy Lee Riley - "Baby Please Don't Go" Barbara Pittman - "Sentimental Fool" Warren Smith - "Miss Froggie" Jack Earls - "My Gal Mary-Ann"

[curioussubjects]

“Probably think you’re overcompensating:” Perception, Masculinity & Queer!Dean

So I’ve been wanting to write about my particular take on Dean, queerness, and masculinity because all the time I see takes, and I get into discussions, and I keep having to repeat myself. Not exactly an issue except peddling takes via hyperlink is much easier. This post is a bit of a journey, as anything I write tends to be, but the central thread here is fairly straightforward: emotional vulnerability. Most of my understanding of Dean circles around issues of emotional vulnerability and perception, which is not wholly unconnected to my reading of Cas and happiness -- that is, allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable, and accepting your worth is crucial to accurate perceptions of reality. 

In the beginning, we had John Winchester: after Mary died, John “was just a shell.” He became entirely closed off and focused on one thing, and one thing only: finding YED and killing monsters. John actively suppressed his grief over Mary by immersing himself in hunting, a new found mission meant to avenge and protect. The change in John is so marked that in our encounters with younger John lead to his own disgust at the parenting Dean describes, without knowing it’s himself he is censoring. Furthermore, in the Winchester motto being “saving people, hunting things, the family business,” we can see into what drove John in his mission: his guilt in not being able to save Mary, hunting as an outlet for that guilt, the imposition of that mission onto his sons. When Mary died, John’s entire philosophy and modeling of how to be Father and Husband (and Man, really) rested on his ability to be a sword and shield. A protector, unflappable, steady, focused. Someone who should always put the mission first, with little to no distractions. 

Dean, as eldest son and the natural second in command, inherited John’s mission and philosophy. While John was away, Dean was in charge of protecting the family (Sam), and was expected to that steady, unflappable protector. Someone who was in control of their vulnerability and never open to weakness. If John’s mission was to avenge Mary, Dean’s mission was to look out for Sam. Anything that caused Dean to deviate from that was a failure. It meant that Dean failed as A Father (and Husband mirror, not that he was a spouse proxy, but that John projected his own image onto Dean). Crucially, when we see Dean “fail” in the mission of looking out for Sam, they're due to Dean doing something for himself, or even doing something for Sam -- hence how he ended up at Sonny's for shoplifting. because apparently theft is wrong if it's not credit cards scams, thanks John. And in looking out for Sam, we find the first fault line in Dean being able to uphold John’s maxim of being invulnerable because to protecting Sam also meant, to Dean, to shield him from John’s abuse and expectations, it meant that Sam was nurtured, as best Dean could manage. Beyond protecting Sam, however, Dean would also inherit John’s mission should he die in the line of duty. And so Dean did. He was tasked to kill  the YED and even Sam if Sam became a threat. Anything that would make Dean deviate from that single minded mission was to be purged. Or shoved so far down that the mission would not be affected. 

In short, the baseline of duty Dean was operating on was: look out for Sam, look out for the Family, obey orders from the Father, carry out the Mission, avenge mom, kill monsters (noble and good, sure, but still immersed in the revenge mission). Whatever tool you use to carry on another day is acceptable, so long as it is ephemeral and utilitarian. If you need to drink, fuck, etc, in order to keep going so be it, but whatever you do must never impact the mission. College, relationships, picket fences, and dogs, are distractions. They are things that would necessarily take you from The Life. They can only ever be the rewards for completing the Mission. Paradise, if you will.  

Emotional vulnerability, then, that which allows the world to thing touch you that deeply is a distraction. You have to be a shell. You fight, but you also fight because the hunter life is not for others. All in the hopes that one day the mission will be done, and there’s an end of the tunnel with peace and a normal life, which is a lie. Not a lie because hunting is antithetical to happiness, but a lie because the mode of operation created and imposed by John makes it impossible for one to ever reach happiness. Happiness needs a way in. 

But what’s all this have to do with Dean being queer? Well, this has everything to do with how Dean experiences his queerness. A lot of the time I see people thinking of Dean as someone who suppresses, or, even worse, represses his sexuality when neither of those things are true (someone suppresses or represses their queerness doesn’t go around loving queer film, gushing over crushes, and making queer cultural references). Personally, I don’t think Dean represses as his go to coping mechanism (though he does repress, sometimes, like how John wasn’t a good father, actually). Dean is much more likely to suppress his feelings and his trauma: those are his to handle, and his to stow so he can Get the Job Done. But if Dean ever suppressed his bisexuality, which at some point he might have, I’d argue had much more to do unnecessary risks, than something like self-hatred.

Nevertheless, the issue when it comes to queerness, then, wouldn’t be Dean fucking men or being attracted to multiple genders. It wouldn’t wholly be an issue with masculinity either because the Masculine Values™ the Winchesters operate under a very specific to their situation, as I described above. It’s less about manly posturing, and more about being the perfect soldier (and, eventually, commanding officer). However, queerness brings with it queer & homophobia. As such, one’s sexuality could be leveraged as a weakness. It's something that can be exploited, if one allows it to hurt them. It’s also something that could draw attention to oneself, which is a bit dangerous for a hunter. So, for me, if John ever knew about Dean being bi (and with his neglect, he very well might not), his main problem would be with it being unnecessarily dangerous. Taking these issues into account, it makes sense to me that Dean would be uneasy with being perceived as queer because of it being a tactical disadvantage rather than him having an actual problem with being queer. So when we see posturing and overcompensation, when we see Dean lean particularly hard on the more overtly macho sides of his personality, it’s a mask. Incidentally, if Dean ever found himself in queer spaces he wouldn’t be so uneasy to the point of having to lean into the overcompensating mask -- which, of course, is influenced by cultural heteronormativity and all that mess. 

Ultimately, Dean wants to control how he is perceived because it gives him the upper hand. He had to learn to be a chameleon to survive, and he had to develop a thick skin because to show weakness is to fail the mission, and weakness means that you die, or, worse, the one you are meant to protect dies. It’s no wonder that Dean’s character development had little to do with him accepting his queerness (which canon, refreshingly, presents as just a fact of who he is, no fuss), but learning to be emotionally vulnerable. To let love and happiness in. To be who he is completely, without fear, without guilt, without shame, and without self-doubt. That letting himself be happy isn’t a sign of weakness or leading to failure, that it isn’t a gateway for hurt. And none of that, none of it, is about some internalized hatred of his own queerness. Finally, Dean’s freedom and lesson is that the true steadfastness is self-actualization, and really, to quote Cas:

I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're “daddy's blunt instrument.” And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are.

[enamoured-x]

Exceptional

Sonny Carisi x Reader 

Summary: After a few harsh words thrown at Sonny, you decide to make him feel better. 

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, oral (male receiving) 

Word count: 3.5k

a/n: It feels good to be writing for Sonny again! I got inspired for this right after the most recent episode, Sonny did not deserve to be talked to like that so here’s a little relief for him. Enjoy! 

*Not my gif

Stress didn’t even begin to cover what you had been feeling lately with your most recent case, so you couldn’t imagine just how heavy it was all coming down on Sonny. After your team decided to take on the infamous Judge Gallagher for rape allegations from his past at Harvard, you had all been running around talking to vics and trying to get Sonny a solid case. But from where you were standing, you had the easy job, Sonny was the one who was taking the harder hit. 

You and Sonny had been dating for a little more than a year which you two deemed it was time for the next step. Moving in together. It was a big change but one you and Sonny found was most definitely the right move. You got to see each other every night and go to bed in his arms, there was no way around how good it felt to finally share a home with him. Which is why you knew just how much pressure he was under with this case. It killed you to see him in such distress, chugging copious amounts of coffee to stay up late to string together his case. You offered to help in any way you could, whether it be something as little as making him lunch or getting him coffee. You were always there to offer your support, always standing in Sonny’s corner, which is why when you finally had a sit down with Gallagher and his attorney, Rita, you were about to explode. 

You were all there to talk about a plea. Although you could sense Rita and Gallagher would not be easy to persuade into a deal especially if it meant dropping out of the attorney general race and resigning from the bench, which was exactly what you wanted him to do. Rita was up in arms right away.

“No deal. Absolutely not. This is a personal and political attack.” Rita expressed, in utter shock with Sonny���s offer. 

“This isn’t personal and it isn’t political, your client is a rapist.” You spoke up, sending daggers at his smug face. He reeked of arrogance and abuse of power and it disgusted you entirely. 

“Take the deal, counselor. Your client could walk.” Sonny said. 

“Respectfully, pass. Judge, let’s go.” They both went to get up and Gallagher laughed.

“You people have no idea what you’re up against.” He said to all three of you and then turned to Sonny, “you keep this up and I’ll see to it you're disbarred. If you’re lucky, the NYPD will take you back doing traffic stops on Staten Island.” His words stirred an anger within you at his threat but Sonny laughed it off at the mere absurdity of it all. Of course he would make a threat, it’s how guys like him operated. Once again trying to abuse his power because he didn’t like to hear the truth. Rita and Gallagher were leaving when Gallagher turned back around. 

“Something they can’t teach you at Fordham, how to belong. The people who nod at you on the eighth floor, they can smell the flop sweat and the garlic coming off your cheap suit.” You were boiling with rage now and you went to say something before Liv pulled you back. 

“Keep going, Judge.” Was all Sonny said. You could tell now that the Judge’s words made their mark. Your heart ached terribly and you tried to step forward but Liv pulled you back again and shook her head. 

“Yeah? What do you want to hear you dumb dago.” Your heart fell into your stomach. You’ve heard that slur before, a derogatory slur for Italians. You were going to kill him and this time you yanked yourself out of Olivia’s grip but Sonny was the one to get in Gallagher’s face.

“Fine, I’ll take you right here.” Sonny argued, trying to step closer to the man but Liv pulled him back and Rita was ushering Gallagher out the door. 

“You’re so far in over your head you don’t even know your career’s dead and buried.” Gallagher’s threat were the final words to watch Sonny slowly start to unravel. 

“Are you okay?” You asked him, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. 

“M’fine, screw him.” Is all he said before he grabbed his briefcase and walked out. You and Liv shared a look, stunned at what just happened. Sonny was relatively quiet that night. You didn’t know what to say to make this better without sounding like you were saying it just because you were his girlfriend and you were ‘supposed’ to comfort him. You knew Gallagher’s words struck a chord with Sonny whether he admitted it or not. 

You had dinner ready for him when he came home, wanting him to relax after the long day. He had thanked you with a kiss and dug into his meal without another word. 

“Sonny, do you want to talk about it?” You asked your boyfriend as he looked over his papers once you two retired to the couch after dinner. 

“No, doll. I’m fine.” He didn’t even look up at you as he sorted through his stuff. You grabbed his hands and laced your fingers with his. He sighed and his eyes met yours. 

“Baby…” You tried but he shook his head.

“I’m embarrassed. I don’t want to talk about this right now. I want to get my bearings together and take this son of a bitch down.” You bit your lip and nodded. You knew Sonny would talk about it when he was ready. The fact that he even admitted to being embarrassed was sign enough and it also made your heart ache something fierce. 

“Okay. I’m going to go to bed but I need you to know there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Especially not with me. His words weren’t true. Don’t let him get to you, baby.” His face was flushed pink and in that moment you wanted to find Gallagher and knock him out. But he’d pay, he wouldn’t get away with this. You had complete faith in Sonny’s courtroom abilities and he wouldn’t go down without a fight. 

“Thanks, doll.” He gave you a half smile and you pressed your lips to it. You put more effort in this kiss. Wanting him to know just how much you loved him and that you were there for him. 

“I love you, Sonny. We’re going to get him.”

It was a rough few days in court to say the least, of course when you thought Sonny was winning over the jury, Calhoun would come in and tear apart Sonny’s pull on them. And vice versa. You didn’t know what to think anymore and as much faith as you had in Sonny, you were worried that the jury may just let Gallagher off the hook like he always had been. But after another ADA, who testified against Gallagher, recorded him admitting to what he had done, it was game over. Rita came to a deal with Sonny and they took it in front of the judge. You weren’t all that happy with the outcome, the fact that he would be free of his own accord within an ankle monitor's limits… it wasn’t fair. It was disgusting honestly. And just when you were about to cut your losses and count this as a win, the judge spoke up. Not liking the deal that was offered, she demanded that Gallagher spend his year of house arrest in a jail cell. To say you were all relieved and emotional over the verdict was an understatement. Was one year enough for a man like Gallagher, not even close, but for now it would do. Sonny was happy with the outcome as he told you he’d see you at home after he finished up at the courthouse. 

You were more than eager to get home before Sonny, an idea formulating in your head of how you could celebrate this win for him. He deserved something special after such a stressful week. When you got home you received a text from Sonny alerting you he was on his way. You excitedly slipped on a lacy little number you had bought just last week and threw your silk robe over it. Sonny deserved some stress relief and you were going to give it to him. You heard the jingle of the keys in the lock and then he walked in. You walked over to him, a smile on your face. You wore the robe all the time so it wasn’t odd that Sonny didn’t think anything of it. He definitely didn’t know what was hiding underneath. 

“You did it, baby. I’m so proud of you.” You pulled him into you for a hug and he wrapped one arm around your waist and buried his other hand in your hair. 

“Team effort.” He said, pulling away. You rolled your eyes at his humbleness and placed a small kiss on his lips. 

“It was all you. Go sit down, I’ll get you a beer.” You patted his chest and he nodded, placing a kiss to your temple and sitting down on the couch. Taking off his jacket and loosening his tie. You went to the kitchen and to the fridge to pull out one of Sonny’s favorites, you twisted the cap and then walked over. Handing it to him from behind the couch. He took if from you and you placed your arms around him from behind. “Hey,” you whispered in his ear. Placing a kiss on the shell of it and lightly tracing your way down his neck with your lips. He hummed and when you ran your hands down his chest he set the bottle down on the table. 

“What’re you doing, doll?” There was a hint of amusement in his tone and you smiled. 

“I thought you deserved a little stress relief after this week. Figured you deserved a little something for all your hard work and dedication.” You whispered in his ear, he shifted slightly. 

“What’s this little something?” He asked, sounding out of breath already. You giggled and withdrew from him. Going around the couch to stand in front of him. He waited and when you started to undo your robe his brows lifted. The real treat was seeing his face as soon as the robe fell to the floor in a crimson heap. 

“Jesus christ.” Your red lace was a bit more scandalous than others in your collection and even had a garter belt which Sonny was eyeing appreciatively. 

“Now, Sonny, I thought you weren’t supposed to take the lord’s name in vain.” You crawled onto his lap. His hands immediately grabbed on to your waist and ran down to your thighs, getting his hands on whatever part of you he could. It felt comforting and you hummed in response. 

“Doll, this is…” He shook his head, not being able to find his words. You smiled and leaned down, pulling him in for a kiss. It was slow, and wet, and everything you both were needing. You could feel the tent in his pants as you sat comfortably in his lap. 

“Put this on just for me?” He asked, leaning forward to nip at your neck. You tightened your grip on his shoulders as he grabbed your ass in his hands and squeezed. You rocked forward on him making him groan as your clothed center slid across him. You let out a little whimper at the contact and continued to slowly grind down on him. Both of you needed this intimacy after a long week of work and barely any interaction. 

“Mmm, Sonny. God, you get me so wet without having to do anything.” It was true. Just one look from him and your thighs would clench. He had this air about him. He let out a groan at your words. 

“Listen to me,” You told him, taking his chin between your thumb and pointer finger to get him to meet your eyes. His were filled with need and you were going to give him what he wanted but first you needed to make sure he knew how important he was. “You, Dominick Carisi Jr. are one hell of a lawyer. One hell of a man. So damn intelligent. So fucking kind.” 

You rolled your hips as you spoke, keeping his gaze locked with yours. 

“I’m so proud of you. You should be proud of yourself. You’re exceptional, Sonny. No less.” You leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lips, “no less than exceptional.” When you pulled back his eyes were not just dark with lust but a gleam of love and appreciation. His eyes sparkled as he teared up. You knew your words got through to him, you knew he understood just how much he was loved and cared for. 

“I love you, curore mio.” My heart. You smiled and pulled him in for another kiss, letting it get away from you as your tongue met his. Eventually you had half a mind to pull away, still trying to stick to your plan. An exceptional man deserved something exceptional. 

“Gonna make you feel good, Sonny.” You said and slipped off his lap. He was confused at your withdrawal until you placed your hands on his thighs and got down on your knees, pushing his legs open to make room for you. 

“Fuck…” You smirked at his speechless state. You bit your lip as you undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants. He sat up to help you ease them down along with his briefs. He was already hard and leaking, his cock now pressed against his abdomen. You licked your palm and then placed it on his member, starting to slide it up and down. He groaned but kept his eyes on you. You leaned forward to have a taste, your mouth watering at the sight of him. You licked the precome off the tip and he let out a curse. He was always so sensitive and it only turned you on even more. The tang of him stayed on your tastebuds and you wanted more. You licked the underside of his shaft all the way back up to the tip, his hand tightened on the couch. 

“My handsome man,” you licked again, “so sexy, sonny.” Then another, “all mine.” 

“Shit, doll. So beautiful like this. Always so good to me.” He groaned as you took the head in your mouth and sucked. You flicked your tongue into the slit as you sucked a little harder and his hand flew to your hair as he moaned. You smirked around him and then pulled off to talk. 

“Want you to come down my throat.” Is all you said before you took him down your throat. He threw his head back as you encased him in your mouth. The warmth and weight on him on your tongue only made you wetter. But this wasn’t about you. 

“F-fuck, baby. That feels amazing, just like that.” He tried to control his hips and the hand in your hair as you bobbed up and down on his length. Taking him all the way down to the base and swallowing. He particularly liked that and had no control over his hips as he bucked deeper down your throat. You gagged on him but made no movement to stop which looked like he was about to suggest. As much as Sonny loved this, you loved doing it. Seeing him come undone above you, it was a heady kind of thrill and you only wanted to keep it going. You kept the fast pace, his cock now messy with your spit and his precome. You knew he was holding back, not wanting to hurt you as he simply kept his hand on your head, not pushing or pulling. But you wanted him to push, wanted him to let go and use your mouth. Wanted to see him come completely undone. You pulled off him and placed sloppy kisses down his cock and took his balls into your mouth as you stroked him.

“Oh god, doll. Fuck yes.” He panted as you sucked his balls and made them wet. 

“Don’t hold back, Sonny. Fuck my mouth.” You mumbled against his sac, mouthing at them and then sliding back up his cock to take him back into your mouth. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, worry evident on his face.

“Yes.” Is all you said as you take him back down again. He took a firmer grip on your hair and then bucked into your mouth, making you gag as he pushed you down with his hand. You encouraged him by not pulling off. He did it again and again.

“Oh, fuck. I like that. So good for me, so good…” He trailed off as he threw his head back and kept using your mouth to get off. Tears were rolling down your face and drool hung from your chin but you had never been wetter. You and Sonny we're no strangers to certain debauched activities but you two had never done this. It was making your center throb as his tip met the back of your throat. The sounds were obscene as he got off on your mouth. 

“Stay down on it, doll.” He breathed out as he held you down, your lips at the base of his cock. You placed your hands on his thighs and dove further into him making him yelp as he went farther down your throat. You then opened your mouth wider to stick your tongue out to lick right at his balls.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come. Keep doing that. Jesus christ, look at you.” He had his eyes on you again, as he had his cock down your throat and your tongue on his balls. You hummed around him and he started to come undone. 

“I’m coming.” He said before he started bucking fast into your mouth, you choked but tried to breathe through your nose as best as you could in order for him to get off. You reached up to fondle his balls. He let out a loud groan as his seed painted the back of your throat and he held you down as spurt after spurt of come was released. It was enthralling to watch him let go, powerful to know it was because of you. He loosened his grip in your hair once he came back down from his climax and you slid off him to swallow what you had. Sonny looked wrecked, not that you probably looked any better. You placed a kiss to his tip before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. 

“That was… fuck that was amazing. Are you okay?” He asked, tugging at your arms for you to slide into his lap. You complied and placed your hands on his chest. 

“I’m fine, that was hot.” You said biting your lip. Your panties were definitely ruined with how wet you had gotten. 

“Yeah? Enjoyed that just as much as me?” He asked, against your neck as he trailed one hand down to your panties and slipped his fingers in. 

“Jesus, you did.” He said as he ran his fingers along your wet folds. You whined and bucked into his touch. You were already so close. 

“Like that, Sonny.” You moaned and arched your back as he rubbed at your clit and slipped two fingers inside you. You were already burning so damn hot with need it wasn’t going to take much to come just from his fingers alone. 

“Let me get my mouth on–”

“No, I’m not gonna last long. Just stay like that.” You held his hand in place with your other hand gripping onto his shoulder. You rode his fingers fast, so close to the edge after having your mouth on him.

“Fuck, doll. Look at you. So fucking needy. Want you to come for me.” He put more pressure on your clit and curled his fingers inside of you and you were done for. You let out a cry as your orgasm crashed into you, arching your back as Sonny continued his ministrations through your high. Your head clouded and your eyes grew heavy at the relief of your orgasm. You pushed his hand away once you came down, your clit now extremely sensitive. The build up of being turned on while going down on Sonny worked you up really well. 

“That was hot.” Sonny said as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean. You groaned at the sight and leaned your forehead against his. You two were quiet as you gained back your breath and he pulled away to take your face in his hands.

“Thank you. For this but also for what you said.” He whispered, eyes staring right into yours. You knew the judge’s words hit a spot within Sonny, but so did yours and you knew they overpowered what was thrown at him the other day. 

“Exceptional, Sonny. Exceptional.” 

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 13*

Did I inadvertently make Sonny a supervillain? Maybe.

Chapter 12

Chapter 14

HAHAHA SOOOOO funny story....if you saw the "preview" post, turns out I didn't even get that far written down. My bad!

I really did want to, and I was almost there, but it's gotta go to fifteen and too much story in chapters won't leave enough to stretch! I'm sorry!!!

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-----

Meanwhile

At the hospital Sonny walked into your room where you were talking with the doctor. The doctor acknowledged Sonny when he came in.

“As I was telling Miss Y/L/N, she unfortunately is going to need a liver transplant,” He looked at both of you grimly. “And unfortunately because of her years of alcohol abuse and history with addiction, she won't be that high on the transplant list. I'm uncertain if she'll even get one,”

“Oh god…” Sonny whispered, looking at you. You had tears in your eyes, still in shock over what the doctor was actually saying. Your brain couldn't really process it; and even if it could, you weren't really sure that you cared if you lived or died at this point seeing as you lost the one good thing in your life.

“Is there any way that I could donate part of my liver?” Sonny asked.

“Well that's what I was going to talk to you about Mr. Carisi,” the doctor said. “If you have any friends or family members that you think would be a good match and would like to get tested to donate their liver; I would suggest doing so as soon as possible. Usually immediate family members are the best match,”

“Yeah of course,” Sonny nodded. But in his mind he was thinking he didn't know if he could convince any of his and your family members to donate part of their liver. Changing their lives completely for a girl that had been nothing but trouble since she came to live with them. He could at least get tested though.

He walked over to you as the doctor walked out and held your hand. “How are you doing sunshine?” He asked.

“I.. I think I need a minute to process all of this, Sonny. Can you please...leave me alone?” you said softly, trying not to cry.

“Yeah sure, whatever you want,” He nodded softly and walked out of the room.

He instantly felt the guilt in remembering what he had told Rafael yesterday. He did promise him that if something went wrong with you he would call him but he also didn't want him to get any closer. But his guilt overruled his worry, so he texted him:

“Y/N is going to need a liver transplant, if you want to get tested,”.

------------

Rafael immediately showed up at the hospital where Sonny met him in the waiting room.

“Where is she?” Rafael was practically huffing and puffing, he ran so fast when he got Sonny’s text.

“Hey, slow your roll there counselor,” Sonny put a hand up. “I just asked you to come down here and get tested to see if you wanted to donate to her,”

“For what? To prove how much I care about her to you? Is that some kind of test?” Rafael clenched his fists.

“Maybe.. I don't know... I was just desperate Rafael, okay? And I promised you I would,” Sonny yelled.

“Okay well I want to see her first," Rafael demanded.

“No way,” Sonny protested. “First you get tested. And then if you’re a match, I'll let you see her,”

“What?” Rafael blinked. “You’re insane--”

“So you're just gonna refuse to potentially save my cousin’s life, just because I won't let her see you. Is that really loving her at all?” Sonny pointed out

“...All right, show me where to go,” he sighed, defeated. Rafael hated that he was right, but he was. After a few minutes Rafael was done getting his blood work and he returned to the waiting room where Sonny was.

“Have you gotten tested yet?” Rafael asked.

“Obviously, I was the first one to do it, Barba.” Sonny replied in an obvious tone.

“And…?”

“...And I'm not a match,'' he sighed.

“And the rest of your family?” Rafael asked.

“....Most of them haven't gotten back to me yet,” Sonny admitted in a small voice.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Rafael asked, astonished.

“Well I mean...I told you my family's history with Y/N,” Sonny rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“But she's dying!” Rafael practically screamed. “You're telling me not one person in your family has a fucking heart to at least try and help their niece/cousin out when they're dying?!”

“Look you have no room to judge my family, okay Barba?!” Sonny argued back. “You don’t know what we’ve all been through--”

“What YOU’VE been through?!” Rafael was now full out screaming, he was livid. “God the whole Carisi clan is a bunch of martyrs, aren’t they? Everything happens to them, they never do anything wrong,”

“Hey FUCK OFF, Barba,” Sonny shoved Rafael, getting heated himself. If there was one thing you didn’t do, it was to insult his family.

“Whatever,” Rafael calmed himself, looking around at the shocked spectators. “How long does it take to find out if you're a match or not?

“Actually just like a few minutes they run it through a computer and see if your blood type matches up with hers.” Sonny answered softly, hoping the onlookers would go back to their business. As if on cue the doctor returns to the waiting room with a piece of paper.

“Well Mr. Barba, it looks like you're a perfect match to Y/N’s blood type,” He smiled as he handed Rafael the piece of paper.

“As if there was any doubt,” Rafael smiled as he read the results. He knew you were a perfect match from the moment you met, now he had physical proof of it.

“Great…” Sonny muttered.

“Alright, so here’s your proof,” Rafael presented the paper to Sonny. “We are perfectly matched. Now let me see her,”

“...Nah I still think you need to actually do it, Barba,” Sonny denied him again.

“Excuse me?” Rafael was absolutely floored. He couldn’t believe Sonny was making him jump through this many hoops just to see you. He knew he was against you being together, but this was above and beyond.

“Look Barba, we don’t know if Y/N’s body is gonna take to your liver. And she could die on the table. There are so many more moving parts and I don’t want you to start getting your hopes up or getting closer to her and then she dies on you. And-- And I don’t want her to get closer to you if she’s dying because then she’ll just be angry at God.”

“You’re fucking delusional you know that Carisi?” Rafael spat. “This isn’t about sparing my feelings, or even Y/N’s. It’s about you, and what you want to do. And you want to keep us apart-- and I’ll bet money it’s not for all the ‘noble’ reasons you proclaim either,”

“Oh for Christ’s sake Barba,” Sonny laughed. “You cannot possibly think this is just because of some crush I have on you--”

“Oh I absolutely do, Carisi,” He stepped towards him. Sonny was substantially taller than Rafael, but he intimidated Sonny nonetheless with his aggressive stance and personality.

“Well it’s not,” Sonny stepped forward as well, towering over Rafael this time. “And regardless of the reason, you’re still getting anywhere near her until I say so,” He had never stood up to Rafael like this, and Rafael didn’t like it.

“...I’m only doing this for her, know that,” Rafael growled as he went to set up an operation time.

-------------

Meanwhile, Sonny went to tell you the good news. He practically sprinted down the hall and swung your door open with a huge happy smile.

“What in God’s name did they give you, and where can I get one?” You teased him.

“Guess what Sunshine,” He beamed at you. [pun intended]

“What’s that?”

“Turns out I’m a match for you!” He threw his arms around you. “Thank God, I was so scared I was gonna lose you,”

“Oh, really?” You gave him a small smile. “That’s great,”

“Y’know you don’t sound as excited as a person who just found out they’re NOT dying, Sunshine!”

“Oh no,” You nodded while trying to smile wider. “I’m ecstatic,”

“Well good, because I kinda like you and want to keep you around a little longer,” He put you in a soft headlock and noogie’d your hair.

“Ha ha,” You rolled your eyes with a smile. “So, are you gonna go set this whole thing up or what?”

“Oh yeah,” Sonny remembered Rafael was still in the vicinity. “Yeah of course Sunshine, I’ll go tell the doctor now, yeah?” He started to get up off your bed.

“Sonny,” You put a hand on him before he stood up.

“Yeah, Sunshine?”

“Have you..” You picked nervously at your blanket. “Um, have you...talked to Rafael?”

“Ah,” Sonny felt a pang of guilt, knowing at that very moment Rafael was signing his liver away to save your life, and you thought he didn’t think twice about you.

“Actually, no,” He lied. “He’s been wrapped up in this huge court case, he’s basically been out of touch to anyone,”

“Oh,” You answered softly. “Well, maybe when I--”

“Oh did I tell you?” Sonny interjected. “I found this great place up state for after you’re healed a bit more. You’re gonna love it. It’s lush, and the scenery is--”

“I-I’m sorry, what?” You blinked. “After I’m healed?”

“Well, yeah,” Sonny replied. “Y’know, I know what I said before but I think we both know you need to--”

“Go away,” You finished his sentence in a monotone.

“...Yeah,” He nodded.

“But--” You looked up at him. “Y-You want to send me to Upstate New York?”

“Well, Sunshine it’s this very nice--”

“I thought you’d maybe send me to Village Care, or Mountainside, some little 30 day treatment center Sonny,” You began to get upset the more you thought about being sent away so far. “Not fucking upstate New York!!!”

“Hey, it’s one of the best in the country, Y/N,” Sonny became serious. “You’re damn lucky I got you in, and so quickly too!”

“Oh gee, thanks so much Sonny,” You crossed your arms. “Thanks so much for jumping at the chance to get me as far away from you as possible,”

“It’s not away from me, it’s away from--!” Sonny caught himself, but you had already heard it.

“...Away from who?” Your eyes narrowed.

“Away from-- all of this, Sunshine,” He tried to change the subject.

“You’re a fucking liar,” you scowled.

“HEY,” Sonny bellowed. “Don’t use that language with me, young lady,”

“Oh good God,” You rolled your eyes. “It’s Rafael, isn’t it?” You didn’t let up.

Sonny tried to think of anyone else, but he couldn’t. Luckily, he thought of something better.

“Yeah, Sunshine,” He lowered his voice. “You need to get away from him so that you can get over this little-- thing you have for him,”

“Why?” Your eyes narrowed.

“Because he doesn’t love you!” He cried. “Because you freaked him out with your little stunt!”

“I don’t believe you,” Your voice filled with dread.

“You don’t believe me?” Sonny laughed. “Y/N did you know his dad died from drinking? In front of him?” He really wasn’t sure about that, but he’d say what he needed to sell this.

“...He didn’t say that he died,” You said softly.

“Well, he did. And you basically died in his arms, that brought all of it back up. And it fucking traumatized him,”

“No…” You shook your head. That couldn't be true. You could not have caused him that much pain-- god what was wrong with you?!

“You wanna know why he’s been so out of touch?” Sonny continued. “Because he’s been so upset he had to drown himself in work to cope with what you did to him!”

“...I…” Tears welled up in your eyes as the guilt began to eat you alive.

“Look, Sunshine,” He lowered his voice and sat back down on the bed.

“I don’t mean to throw so much tough love at ya, but-- he’s still my good friend, and you hurt him. I know you didn’t mean to, and I know you got hurt too. So, I just think that it’s better for all of us if you just--”

“Get as far away from here as possible,”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say it like that,” Sonny tried to be positive. “Just, you need to go to the best place that will help you heal-- your body and your heart,”

“....Yeah, I guess you’re right,” You nodded, wiping tears from your face.

“Good,” He kissed your forehead and stood up, heading to the door. “Now get some rest, I’ll see if we can get this over and done with by tomorrow, I don’t want you staying in this place more than you have to,”

“Thanks Sonny,” You gave him a genuine smile. “You’re a good cousin,”

"I try," He smiled and blew you a kiss before walking out the door.

------------------

Sonny raced down the hall to the surgeon’s office where Rafael was finishing filling out paperwork.

“So, did you tell her?” Rafael asked.

“Tell her what?”

“Did you tell her I’m saving her life and I’ll see her in a few days?”

“Oh,” Sonny felt sweat on his forehead. “Yeah, totally. She’s excited,”

“So why hasn’t she texted me?”

“Oh her phone died,” Sonny lied. “I actually have to run and get her a charger, you can come with me,”

“Of course I can…” Rafael rolled his eyes sarcastically. “The surgery’s early tomorrow morning, I put off my court dates until the end of next week, that should give us both enough time to heal,”

“Sounds good,” Sonny shot him a thumbs up.

“And you are gonna let me see her after all of these fucking hoops, right Carisi?”

“Yeah, of course Barba,” He laughed nervously. “I’m not a monster,”

“Good boy,” Rafael patted him on the head like his puppy.

Sonny wanted to rip that smug little smile off Rafael’s face, but knowing he was going to have the rug pulled out from under him was enough for him.

--------------

The next morning

The surgery nurse came in around 4 am, way too cheerful for that god awful hour.

“Hello dear!” She smiled brightly as you while you moaned and groaned. “I’ve come to prep you for surgery,”

“...Where’s my cousin?” You asked groggily.

“Uh, I’m not sure…” She shook her head while she injected something into your IV. Then she helped you maneuver with all your wires and contraptions to the wheeled bed which take you to the OR.

“...What the hell did you just give me?” You rubbed your eyes sleepily.

“Oh it’s the pre-anesthesia,” She explained. “The girls and I call it ‘giggle juice’,”

“...Like alcohol?” Your eyes widened.

“No, no dear calm yourself,” The nurse assured you. “It’s some medicine that will make you loopy, you won’t remember a thing I promise you,”

“Mmm..kay…” You blinked several times, feeling the drug take affect. Everything quickly went fuzzy, and you felt nice and warm. You realized that you were being wheeled down the hall now, with heated blankets on top of you. You felt like a cozy little burrito, safe in a tortilla.

You felt yourself being rolled into an OR, many masked people were there to greet you. They all had smile eyes behind their masks, they made you feel as safe as possible. Then, they rolled you next to...Rafael?

“....R-Raff---?” You could barely speak from the meds, but your eyes lit up at the sight of him.

“Hey…” He mumbled dreamily, his green eyes sparkling at you. Clearly he had some ‘giggle juice’ of his own.

“I--I don’t…” You shook your head, trying to grasp what was happening. Wasn’t Sonny supposed to be the one laying next to you? Was this Sonny and you were just seeing Rafael’s face?

“Hey hey hey shh,” Rafael shook his head softly and reached out for your hand. You poked it out through the burrito blanket and took his-- it was real. He was really there. He was giving you his liver, to save your life.

“I love you, Y/N,” He smiled the biggest smile you’d ever seen on a human.

“...Really?” You bit your lip with your own huge smile. You prayed to God this was NOT a drug induced dream. “I love you too,”

“Alright you two lovebirds,” You heard the surgeon chuckle. “There will be time enough for this after you’re sharing a liver,”

Wait. This means Sonny lied to you. Was he lying about everything? Was he lying when he said Rafael wanted a clean break? Was Sonny just trying to keep you two apart?

All of your realizations and questions were quickly silenced by the gas mask going over your face.

“Now count down from ten, dear,” The anesthesiologist instructed you. You wanted to say no, that you had to talk to Rafael before all of this happened. But you glanced over to see he was already out, and soon you were too.

--------------------

The next thing you knew you were waking up in a recovery room with a huge window. The sun was streaming in and welcoming you back to the world. You looked down to see a huge incision sewn up by several stitches with clear gauze and tape holding it together. It didn’t hurt yet, but you figured you were still on a lot of pain meds. You wondered how Sonny was doing, if the surgery went well for him too. Soon a nurse came into check on you.

“Well dear, how are we feeling?”

“Ah good,” You smiled weakly. “I guess as good as I can anyway,”

“Oh of course,” She nodded sweetly as she changed your bandages and replaced your fluids.

“Do you know how my cousin’s doing?” You asked her, causing her to furrow her eyebrows.

“Your cousin?” She repeated. “Well dear, I’m sure he’s fine. He hasn’t gotten here yet, probably the morning rush hour traffic,”

“...What?” Now you were the one to furrow your eyebrows. “What do you mean he’s not here? Didn’t he--”

“Oh, look at that,” The nurse quickly finished switching the IV’s and looked at her tablet. “I’m late for my rounds. You rest up sweetie and I’ll come back tonight to get you ready to leave,”

“Rest up?” You repeated softly to yourself as she walked out of the room. “Leave?”

What did any of that mean? And why wasn’t Sonny already at the hospital? Didn’t he have surgery as well? They would have had to already have done it, right? Otherwise whose liver was inside you right now?! You had so many more questions, but apparently Nurse Ratchet gave you some morphine to knock you out until later that evening.

------------

Rafael woke up groggily in his hospital room, already in pain. He looked down to see an incision covered in gauze and tape. He looked next to him to see Sonny smiling sadly at him.

“...Oh god,” Rafael began to panic. “What happened?”

“What? Nothing, you’re great. Y/N is great,”

“Good,” He took a sigh of relief. “So when can I see her?”

“Yeah, here’s the thing Barba…”

“Oh no,” Rafael shook his head violently. “No no no no NO, Carisi. You said--”

“I know what I said, Barba,” He nodded. “But see the thing is, the place that I got Y/N too, it’s not only a rehab but it’s a hospital too. And they fill up super fast. So y’know I had to jump at the opening,”

“....What does that even mean, Carisi?” Rafael's eyes narrowed.

“....It means they already took her up there, so she could recover from the surgery and go right into rehab,” He lied. Well, it wasn't a complete lie. You were going to leave in a few hours, after he came and got you of course.

“You son of a bitch!!” Rafael tried to lunge at him from the bed, but his incision began to pull and shot pain through his entire body. He spasmed and fell back into the bed.

“Who whoa whoa there Barba,” Sonny tried easing him down as if he was a bull or a horse. “You’re gonna pop those stitches,”

“You knew you were going to send her away before I could say goodbye, didn’t you?” He glared at Sonny. “You knew this whole time you were never going to let me see her again. I gave her part of my liver!”

“And you saved her life, and I thank you for that Barba. I really do. And that should make you happy, right? The love of your life is going to live a long, happy life because of you,”

“Without me,” He added angrily.

“Well hey now,” Sonny clicked his tongue. “Never say never. Y’know when she’s completely over all of this, and you, maybe someday she’ll make her way back to the city and you guys can have your little weird friendship again, yeah?”

“Why are you doing this to her? To us?” His voice was more sad now, pitiful.

“I’m doing this for her, Barba. Please try and understand that,” Sonny shook his head as he walked towards the door.

“You’ll never get away with this, Carisi! I’ll find her,”

“Damn Barba I’m not a supervillain, cool your jets,”

“Could’ve fooled me,”

“HEY,” Sonny warned. “What I’m doing is for the greater good,”

“Said every supervillain ever,”

"Hurtful, Barba," Sonny put a hand to his chest. "Feel better, yeah?"

Rafael flipped him the bird as he walked out of the room, the door shutting behind him. He searched frantically around his bed for his phone, he had to google Hospital Rehabs, he had to find you.

He would find you, he wouldn't stop until he did.

[disasterfandoms]

Going Through Hell Part 3 || A Sonny Quinn imagine

This is part three of an imagine series, This is part one, and this is part two.

A/N: Anon we’re finally done, can you believe it?! I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get all of these done, writer’s block is a bitch! Also I love the episode this gif is from, there’s some really good humor in it and it makes me happy to listen to Sonny bitch about his phobias. I tried to make this one longer, since I atrociously made the decision to cut part 2 off so abruptly. (also I put a tiny crossover in it)

TW: torture, hospitalization, aftermath of sexual assault (briefly mentioned), IVs, needles, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

Taglist: @bravo-four-seal-team, @a-kate3

“Y/N’s been taken.”

Sonny’s knees almost instantly buckled and Eric rushed to help support his weight. He eased Sonny down onto a crate and motioned for Trent to come over and check Sonny out in case he actually passes out, Jason quickly comes as well.

“What’s going on?” Jason questioned while Trent kneeled in front of Sonny, checking his vitals. He instantly gets concerned when he sees Sonny with his head in his hands, with Sonny trying to slow his breathing.

“Y/N was abducted three days ago at the supermarket. Once local PD figured out their husband was Navy, NCIS was attached to the case. The Agent in Charge of the team taking the case called a half an hour ago to inform me of the situation.” Eric explained, his hands resting firmly on his hips. By now the rest of the team had gathered around, with Trent and Clay standing on either side with their hands on Sonny’s shoulders, attempting to give him some sort of comfort.

“The agent told me that they think they’ve found who has them and they’re  trying to locate where they’re being held. The team believe Y/N is alive but it’s hard to tell what state they’ll be in when the agents find them,” Blackburn states, hopefully easing the minds of the operators.

“They can’t die, Jase.” Sonny said, his voice quivering. His mind just keeps racing, thoughts flashing through his mind at the speed of light. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He always knew how worried you were when he was away, but he always thought you would have been safe at home. He almost laughed at how naive he was in that aspect, especially considering where you are now.

“I know, Sonny. I know,” Jason nodded, giving Sonny a pat on the back. 

 “They’re gonna be fine, brother. Y/n is a strong person, especially for putting up with you for as long as they have,” Ray tried to reassure him, and it worked a tiny bit, but the thought of you being hurt, or worse...

“Alright Sonny’s staying here, there’s no way I’m letting him in the field to put everyone else in danger because of this. Jason, are you guys able to handle this without Bravo 3?” Blackburn asked, but also making it clear his decision was final in this aspect.

“Yeah we’ll be fine, Blackburn. Take care of our boy,” Jason said, then ordered the rest of Bravo to suit up. The quicker they get the mission done, the quicker Sonny can get home to be with Y/N.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You regained consciousness, sore and finding it hard to breathe. You could tell at the very least you had broken ribs, if you had to guess your leg was broken by the burning sensation you could feel, but to be honest everything hurt.

You hear footsteps again, and tears spring to your eyes. You just want to be put out of your misery, not knowing that those footsteps are coming to rescue, rather than hurt you.

“Y/N, you’re gonna be okay, we’re here to help you,” you hear a gruff voice in your ear, and you immediately start crying, thanking them. They call a medic, and start to work on your restraints while one takes the hoodie off of your head.

Two of the agents tried to stand you up, but you quickly grew lightheaded, seeing stars until the whole world goes black again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The mission had been a success, and the team was on their way home when Blackburn had received the call that you had been found, and you were on your way to the local hospital.

Sonny had raced over there, Trent and Clay in toll to keep him calm and explain what was happening to you when he had to sit in the waiting room. Eventually a surgeon came out and told him, “Y/N is going to be fine, but they sustained a lot of injuries. A grade three concussion, a broken nose, broken occipital bone, both collar bones and most of their ribs are broken, one of which punctured their lung. We had to take out their appendix, as it had ruptured during transport. Their left knee was dislocated, and sustained a tibia fracture in that leg as well. Y/N is out of the first surgery, but there’s a long road ahead. I can take you abck to see them, if you’d like,”

Sonny quickly agreed, and followed the doctor to you hospital room. You were asleep, but seeing your in your casts and you battered and bruised caused tears come to his eyes. He quickly sat down in the chair beside you, and held your hand.

He stayed in that position for a couple hours until you finally came to. You just gently squeezed his hand, ecstatic to see him here beside you. He looked just as happy to see you awake when he realized you has squeezed his hand.

“Hey babycakes,” he said quietly, not wanting to hurt your head, but god all he wanted to do is hold you and never let go.

“Hey yourself. Mission go okay?” you asked, knowing full well that’s not what he wanted to talk about. You didn’t know how to talk about what happened to you though, at least not yet. You felt tears rush to your eyes though, when you see the worried look on his face.

“Uh uh, we are definitely not talking about my work right now. We can’t just gloss over that you were kidnapped because of me, Y/n”

“To be fair, they didn't tell me it was because of you. They didn’t even talk, all they did was beat me up and...” You trailed off, squeezing your eyes shut as it hurt when a shiver went down your spine.

“Oh my god.” Was all Sonny said before he tightened his grip on your hand and reached up to give you a kiss on the forehead. You tried to reach your hand up and grab him to pull you closer to you, but the slings on your arms, which Trent explained to Sonny was to stabilize your collarbones, didn’t allow you to. He got the message though, and gently tried to hug you before sitting back down in his seat beside you.

“Do you want to talk about what happened yet, or would rather I distract you with food and tv until I can take you home in a couple days?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

“The second option, please,” you requested, relieved you didn’t have to talk about it, not yet. 

“Well then, I’m gonna order food after making sure with your nurses you can have anything other than jello and chicken broth, and then we’ll find something on TV, okay?” He said, standing up to go to the nurses station.

“Hey sonny?” you asked, waiting until he turned around to acknowledge you.

“Yeah baby?” he responded, waiting to see if you’re requesting something else.

“I love you” you smiled and your heart fluttered as a smirk graced his lips.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

[finiteuniverse13]

Eric Blackburn is Soft (and a mild insomniac)

Taglist:  @chibsytelford @mrsmarvelous1995 @disasterfandoms @jasonbabymama @velvetcardiganbucky @jayhalsteadfan-2417 @pinkrockstar19 @softi92 @thelovelyleo23 @itsonautopilot @supervalcsi @abby-splace @theysayitscrazy @mrsmarvelous1995 @bravo-four-seal-team

Blackburn, by most measures, is arguably the 'dad' of Bravo (when he's not available, Ray is a good placeholder). However, there are times that he's equally as irresponsible as the idiots who work for him.

One such time is now. He's swaying where he's stood, trying to figure out where an appropriate infil and exfil would be for a really, really well fortified and isolated hideout for Ellis' Tango Of The Week. He'd sent Ellis and Davis to sleep about half an hour ago after they'd let slip that they'd been awake for 27 hours trying to find a plan.

Despite being awake for around 34 hours himself, he was still stood in ops, downing his – how many was it at this point? High teens, probably, maybe twenties – coffee, the latest of many. The maps blurred under the gaze of his dry eyes, and he loses a few seconds, blinking and when his eyes open again he's sat in an uncomfortable chair a few strides away. The door slams open and Blackburn's hand retreats from where it was reaching out for the map. He, albeit slowly, looks up at the figure now looming over him. The man stares down at him in disapproval, an eyebrow quirked and arms crossed.

"Eric." It's not said with the intention that he's going to be allowed to continue working. Eric's faced down many, many people in his days. Gone toe-to-toe with Hayes more times than he can count, out-glared both Sonny and Ray, and on more than one occasion, got Carter to back down. But at that moment, he hasn't got the willpower to stand up to the man, let alone argue. He nods quietly and lets the man put a hand on his arm, pulling him up and begin escorting him to Bravo's bunks. The sun is just beginning to be seen over the horizon and the rays hurt his eyes more. He closes his eyes against the bright assault and lets the man lead him towards the bunks.

As the door to Bravo's room opens, six pairs of eyes turn to him. The man gently pushes Eric, fully clothed, into one of the bottom bunks. As nimble fingers begin taking off his boots, a voice, not the same one as earlier, sounds out against the relative silence now echoing around the room.

"Sleep."

Eric's boots slip off his feet and he settles in, already half asleep by the time that someone pulls the comforter over him.

When he wakes up, sun high in the sky, he's admittedly quite confused. A few questions flew through his head. Why was he in one of Bravo's bunk, not his own? Why had they let him sleep for so long? How much coffee had he drunk? And, probably the most pressing of them all, why was there a weight on his back? He shuffled and that question was answered as Cerberus jumped off his back onto the floor. He raised his eyebrows at the dog and Cerb's tail started wagging in answer. A quick glance to the floor next to the bunk he was in told him that his boots were within easy reach. A water bottle sits next to them, a post-it note stuck haphazardly to the side of it with Trent's handwriting saying "DRINK". Once a medic, always a medic.

He sat up in bed, reaching first for the bottle, figuring even if he didn't particularly want to drink, it was always better to not incite Trent's – and in turn Carter's – wrath. He pulls his boots on next, and as he begins to lace them up, Cerb grabs the empty bottle in his mouth and wanders out of the bunk room, presumably on his way to Brock or Trent to signal that Eric was awake. Cerb opening the door lets in a cool breeze that raises goosebumps along Eric's arms. He'd left his jacket in ops, and it was around a five-minute walk back; which was an awful long way in a t-shirt. He notices a navy sleeve in his peripherals, and look up over a few bunks to see a hoodie haphazardly thrown onto the bed.

The thing with Bravo, Eric had learnt, is that property – especially shirts, jackets and caps – wasn't a personal possession, but instead a group possession. It wasn't unusual to see Trent or Ray in a shirt from one of Brock's K9 training seminars, one of the ones where they only give shirts to those who attend; or Clay in a shirt so utterly Texas that if Clay had actually bought it for himself, Eric would pay for a ranch in Texas for him out of his own pocket. Jason was also a fan of Ray's shirts and vice versa. He was also fairly certain that Trent and Carter didn't actually have a distinction between which shirt initially belonged to who, since their clothing largely consisted of monochrome shirts in various states of distress and disarray and the pair frequently forgot which machine had their clothes during laundry day. The point is, Eric's fairly certain nobody would complain or even raise alarm bells if he took the hoodie that belonged to... someone on the op.

He wanders over to the bunk in question, much more stable on his feet than he was earlier that morning, and pulls on the hoodie. The soft-from-use fabric settles around him like a cocoon. The ends on the sleeves fall to his knuckles and the hood creates something akin to a tube around his head, blocking almost all of his peripherals. As he pulls up the sleeves around his wrists, the door is nudged further open. Cerb wanders in again, immediately walking over to where Eric is stood. He accepts a few seconds of scratching behind the ear before he stands behind Eric and nudges the back of Eric's legs, pushing him towards the door.

"Alright, alright, I'm going, I'm going!" And begins walking of his own volition, with Cerb falling into step next to him. Together they cross the base to where Bravo's base of operations is set up. He walks into a heated discussion.

Sonny, standing on a (thankfully not rolling) chair, pointing down at the 3D model, with Clay sat on the chair next to him, feet propped up on the chair that Sonny's stood on. Clay's just grinning up at Sonny, looking, for all intents and purposes, like he's in the middle of encouraging the debate. Carter is stood behind Clay with a mirror of Clay's grin, but he looks slightly more malicious, but Eric puts that down to that just being how Carter smiles. On the other side of the table, indicating to a different part of the model, Ray and Brock. Ray is stood while Brock sits on the table, absent-mindedly bouncing a well-loved (read: very bitten) tennis ball on the floor. Jason is speaking to Ellis and Davis, both of whom look much more rested than they did when he sent them to rack out earlier that day. Trent, leaning against a filing cabinet, is the only one who looks over when Eric walks in, having only been paying partial attention to the argument most of the team is having. He silently offers Eric another bottle of water, which Eric takes without a word.

Trent waits until Eric's drained about a third of the bottle before speaking to him, tone caught between concern and scolding. "We found about 23 empty coffee cups here, and we both know Davis and Mandy have energy drinks while planning for ops. How long were you awake for?"

Eric pauses, eyebrows furrowing. "What time did I go to sleep?" He figures that Trent was, at the very least, present when he was asleep.

"0540."

"Then it's about 34 hours? Give or take a bit."

Cerberus, still stood at his feet, gives out a whine which draws Brock's attention mid-sentence, which attracts the attention of the other 4 around the model. Sonny hops off the chair; barely giving Clay enough time to lift his feet out of the chair before sitting down in it, but he does pull Clay's legs, still in the air as he stares mock-offended, onto his lap.

Trent ignores his brothers and levels a glare at Eric. Eric shrugs and buries a hand into the front pocket of the (really, really, should be illegal how soft it was) soft hoodie, finishing the water and throwing it in the bin. Another is being pressed into the hand that's still out before he's able to fully turn back to Trent to ask for another. He thanks Trent and makes his way over to where his Master Chief appears to be trying to convince Davis to let him try her energy drink. Trent asks a question to the five around the table which reignites the discussion with equal, if not more, vigour.

And at that moment, as he watches Lisa play the energy drink version of cat-and-mouse with Jace, with four of his operators teaming up against the other two in the background; there's nowhere he'd rather be. Stood there in someone's hoodie, with his jacket on the back of Clay's chair (he has no intention of putting it on until the op itself, and he's decided it now belongs to him because it's so comfortable), he's so happy to have them as a family. So grateful that they've allowed him to be part of the family they've made.

[13uswntimagines]

A Question Written in Ink (Lindsey Horan x reader)

Request: Lindsey and reader are together and reader gets a Thorns tattoo for Lindsey

Hey dudes, I hope you enjoy this request. I should also mention that the reader is Mal’s older sister. 

Lindsey’s fingertips traced lightly over the ink that adorned your upper back and arms. Ghosting over the various shapes and swirling lines that told a story in your skin. You sighed contently and cuddled further into the women below you. Your friends were probably out causing havoc after your SheBelieves win, but you were more than content to be right here in the arms of the woman that you loved. You much preferred the way that you two had chosen to celebrate anyway.

“I heard a rumor,” she said quietly after a few moments, her fingers tracing up your arm to run light circles over the Football club crests spread across your upper shoulder like armor.

The tattoos were a tradition that had started when you and your best friend Tobin both signed on to play for UNC. You were newly 17 and decided that the best way to celebrate the fact that you would get to go to college was to get an image of the team logo etched in armor across your shoulder. The tradition had stuck and followed you throughout your professional career. When you signed with a new club, a small replica of their emblem was tattooed into your skin.

“Mmm,” you mumbled tiredly into her neck, nuzzling your nose into the soft skin you found there. If only your teammates could see you turn to putty in Lindsey’s very capable hands, you would never hear the end of it. You were known as the bad-girl of the team. The untamable one after your particularly nasty breakup.  That was until Lindsey had mended your heart back together and broken through your walls. She had settled you and shown you what real love was.

“Are you really leaving Chicago?”  She asked, you could hear the anxiety in her voice, as her fingers traced the five stars on the skin just above your elbow.

“What, how did you…” You gasped pushing yourself up on your arms to hover over her and look her in the eyes.

“Julie may have mentioned it,” She hesitated, biting her lip. You sighed, nodding slightly and resuming your position buried in her very comfortable neck. At least the media hadn’t found out about the trade yet, as you had specifically been asked to keep the trade under wraps.

“Are you going back to Arsenal?” She pouted, her fingers pausing their gentle exploration of your skin. You huffed sitting up straddling her thighs, the blanket pooling around your waist. You could feel the anxiety radiating off of her. It wouldn’t have been the first time you had run to the UK to avoid whatever issues you were facing. But you had decided a long time ago that you were done running. You had a partner to face your fears with you now, and you would die before you agreed to give that up. You sighed. You weren’t planning on having this conversation now, but once your very beautiful girlfriend set her mind to something, there was no changing it.

“They have an offer on the table,” You mumbled, leaning down to kiss her pout away, before settling back on her legs. You had spent 5 years with Arsenal, and you loved the team, but it just didn’t feel like home anymore.

“A good offer?” She hummed, smiling as she pulled you back down to kiss her. You two were insatiable. You would never get tired of the feelings of her skin touching your own. Even now, the sweet kiss was sending shivers down your spine. Her fingers tangled in the baby hairs at the back of your neck and pulled you closer.

“It’s alright, but it’s missing a few key details,” You mumbled against her lips, you felt her smile falter. You sighed leaning back to look her in the eyes again.

“Like?” She asked, running her fingers down the curve of your neck, ghosting over your ink covered shoulders and arms before landing heavily on your waist. The hotel room air filled with tension, and you squirmed on your girlfriend's very comfortable lap.

“For one, they call quarter pounders Royals with cheese,”  You joked quietly, allowing your shoulders to relax as the love of your life’s beautiful giggle sounded. You couldn’t help the shy smile that etched its way across your face.

“Be serious,” she giggled, smacking your arm. You hummed back, collapsing on your side and facing her.

“I am serious. I don’t want to miss distinctly American things all the time anymore,” You hummed, bringing your hand up to brush a stray hair that had fallen in front of her blue eyes behind her ear. Honestly, there was only one American thing that you had decided you never wanted to live without.

“You love London,” She said, sobering up. Her blue orbs connecting with your own Y/E/C ones. You smiled. You did love London. It had become a second home for you. A place to run away to when everything in your life was going wrong. But it wasn’t home.

“I do, But there’s another place that’s grown on me…another place that feels more like home,” You gave her a shy smile, placing a gentle kiss on her nose, and bringing your hand up to cup her cheek. The way your arm moved caught her attention. It was then that she noticed the small bandage that was covering the inside of your forearm, just below your Red Stars band.

She brought her fingers to the bandage, and you gave her a nod to tell her that it was Ok to remove it. She carefully peeled the opaque material back.  

“When did you have time to get this?” She asked as she worked the bandage off your arm.

“I had Sonnet and Tobs distract you yesterday. It’s not big so it didn’t take too long.” You mumbled, wincing slightly as she peeled back the bandage. Her fingers paused, as her eyes landed on the Portland Thorns crest tattooed right next to your famed Arsenal logo.  

“You only get tattoos for the teams you’ve played on” She stated, her breath being caught in her throat, and you smiled. This hadn’t been how you were going to tell her, but her reaction still made this moment worth it.

“Mark talks a really good game, though I didn’t need much convincing to accept the deal” You smiled, leaning in to place another kiss on her lips. You just couldn’t seem to help yourself.

“He convinced you to agree to the NWSL’s bullshit?” She asked exasperated, and your smile fell. You still didn’t like the NWSL’s policies on pay and how trades operated, but the opportunity to work with your girlfriend had been too good to resist.

“Well no. He just made some points that showed me that Portland was the place for me.”  You murmured, smiling.

“Points?” She smirked, and you could practically hear the dirty thoughts racing through her mind. You supposed it was kind of difficult to prevent them considering both of you were leisurely making out in your hotel room bed. You rolled your eyes at her.

“Well, Tobin lives there. So I’ll get to be with my best friend more often. I’ll get to see Mal because she’ll have a better excuse to come see Toby and Christen, and maybe I’ll get to see her on a normal basis. Plus there’s this really hot blond footballer that’s there” You mumbled, leaning in to kiss her again.

“Well you do like blonds,” Lindsey laughed, and you blushed. So maybe you had a type, but frankly, that type had turned into just one particular blond.

“Not all blonds” You huffed indignantly.

“Only the dirty ones right?” She asked against your lips, bumping your nose with her own.

“Only The gorgeous ones with dirty jokes. Plus I don’t like her, I’m hopelessly in love with her” You mumbled back, both of you smiling into the kiss. It was sweet and slow, and everything that you needed at this moment. Sure you hadn’t been planning on telling her that you were moving to Portland right now, but you were happy that it had turned out well so far.

“Love?” She asked hesitantly against your lips, and your eyes widened. It wasn’t the first time you had exchanged those words, so why was she shocked.

“Mmm, I kinda didn’t want to be ten thousand miles away from you anymore. You’re my home and I just want to be where you are.” You nodded back, looking your girl right in the eyes.

“I can’t believe you just told me you’re moving to Portland by taking your shirt off, and you made me cry. If you wanted to go again, all you had to do was ask.” She laughed lightly, and your giggle joined your own.

“Of course, that’s the part you fixate on” you rolled your eyes at the girl that you had helplessly fallen for “And you love it when I take my shirt off,” You shot her a seductive wink gesturing to where your abs were still on display. It was one of the few places that you hadn’t covered with tattoos, and you knew that she loved the creamy skin that covered your well-defined muscles.

“I do.” She wiggled her eyebrows back at you, both of you dissolving into another fit of giggles, cuddling back into your girlfriend’s neck.

“Would you be upset if I didn’t just get a thorns tattoo to tell you I’m moving to Portland?” You asked after a few moments, biting your lip.

“I don’t understand” She frowned.

“Well, my apartment is in Chicago, and Sonny’s moving to Orlando…” You said slowly, almost afraid to get to the point.

“Are you asking if you can move in with me?” She asked hesitantly, pulling you from your hiding place in her neck.

“I love you and I thought we might be ready for the next step…” You mumbled, looking anywhere but at the girl in front of you.

“I would love it if you moved in with me” She breathed out, placing both palms on your cheeks and forcing you to meet her eyes, before bringing you into a steaming kiss. You melted into her lips, groaning as her tongue began to probe your own..

“I still can’t believe you asked me to move in together by getting naked and showing me your new tattoo. The fans are going to go crazy when they see the Thorns logo under the others,” She said in disbelief after a few moments of your make out.

“If we’re living together, you’re going to get to see me naked a lot, and it’s a tradition. I’m sure the fans are just going to be thrilled that it isn’t an NC courage logo,” You laughed at her, just imagining what the fans would have done if you had accepted North Carolina’s offer. Sure, Sam, Abby, and Chrystal would have been thrilled, but the fans would have called bullshit. Your problems with Hinkle had been well documented and no one wanted to see what would have happened if you had been forced to be in close quarters with the woman.

“They would die. Trust me, I’m looking forward to all the new opportunities to see you in various states of undress,” Lindsey laughed, pulling you back into the kiss, and you smiled.

“You’ll have to tell me about a few of them. We can start a bucket list” You joked, eyebrows wigging at the woman. You loved how you could go from serious to silly to sexy in a single conversation with the girl.

“I love you and I can’t wait for you to move to Portland” She hummed into your lips, and you smiled.

“I love you too babe,” You said leaning back into her. You loved Lindsey with everything you were, and you couldn’t wait to wake up next to her every day.

[seabiscuit15]

Like all of us, Eric Dier won’t forget 2020 in a hurry.

After a tough 2019, where he struggled to nail down a place in the team as he fought against illness and injury, he’s changed position, become a key figure in central defence and earned an England recall after 18 months out of the national squad. He signed a new deal in July, has started 14 of our 15 matches in the Premier League so far this term, captained the team, reached 250 appearances for the Club and is getting back to the consistent level that so impressed following his arrival at Spurs back in 2014.

Eric, who will turn 27 in January, also made the most of lockdown, telling us: “I came out of lockdown with a new perspective on a lot of things.”

In his own words, here is Eric’s 2020, and his hope for 2021 - all in 20 questions as he spoke to us after training on New Year’s Eve.

2020

Eric: "2020. In one word, COVID. A lot of challenges in many ways for everyone. The challenges we’ve faced have been very difficult, so it’s crazy to think about the challenges that people have faced over this period, it’s difficult to even comprehend a lot of it."

Lockdown in March

Eric: "I was very naïve. I thought, ‘this will only be a couple of weeks’, we all were. We were due to have a game two days later!"

Finding myself

Eric: "I spoke about this recently. I was listening to Dave Chappelle (US comedian) on Joe Rogan’s (US comedian, MMA commentator) podcast, he said something interesting, that during lockdown, everyone had to sit down with their choices for the first time. What he meant was... when you are living day to day, doing your job, going there, doing this, you are constant, never really sitting down in your house, within your relationship, so you sit down and confront those things like you’ve never done before. Hopefully, that will be something positive and that people have reflected in the right way and changed what they realise they needed to. I definitely did that. I came out of lockdown with a new perspective on a lot of things.”

Time

Eric: "Lockdown gave me the time to really strip back everything. Over time, you get bogged down with lots of things. Lockdown gave me the chance to take the things I felt were important and leave the parts I felt weren’t. That was very important for me."

Green fingers

Eric: "I built a garden in lockdown, and I've carried on working on it since. I’ve spent more time just 'doing things'. That sounds silly, but, for me, building and working in the garden was like a form of meditation. Going deeper here... I think Gandhi once said that the best form of meditation is to do something and, for me, that was being out in the garden. It’s difficult to be fully self-sufficient, but I'd like to try. I’d like to experience that."

Training

Eric: "The Club did a fantastic job getting equipment to us, keeping us fit, maintaining that interaction. The manager was calling us, messaging us, we did the Zoom sessions every day, and that was really good. For me personally, it was so nice to have a block of training. I treated it like a pre-season. It really made a difference."

Back together again

Eric: "These are the good things to come out of lockdown, when we did get back together and trained together again, the excitement and the happiness to be back doing what we all love, all back together, you want to keep hold of that feeling for as long as possible."

We are family

Eric: "It’s crazy, people like Dele and Harry Kane, everything I’ve been through in football, I’ve been with them, and I say those two because of England as well. Every moment I’ve had, Harry’s been there, and vice-versa. That’s cool, having those experiences. Together, our focus is to win a trophy for this Club and our determination to do so has never been higher."

Project restart

Eric: "It was great to be back out there, great to play after so long, and a great game to come back to against United. We all enjoyed that."

Last nine, last season

Eric: "Those nine games set the foundations for this season and we’ve been building since then, building something that I believe is really exciting."

New role

Eric: "People make a lot of it when you change position, and some are very negative. For instance, if you make a mistake, the slightest thing, it’s, ‘that’s because he’s a midfielder’. For me, it’s been important putting that to rest, I have very clear objectives I want to achieve in this position, and I’m working hard to do that. The positive thing is that I know I can do better."

England

Eric: "That was a real goal of mine, to get back into the England set up. For the 14 months or so I was out (June, 2019 to September, 2020) those international breaks were so hard. It hurts a lot. International breaks without going away were difficult for me having experienced it for so long. To be back in that set up meant a lot to me."

Hugo

Eric: "When a team isn’t doing so well, the goalkeeper usually stands out well, and Hugo certainly rose to the challenge at the start of the year. He’s been unreal."

Pierre

Eric: "He’s been a fantastic addition on and off the pitch. Off the pitch, I like people who set the standard by the way they act. Pierre is very professional, looks after himself very well, works very hard every day. The more players like that, the better."

Harry and Sonny

Eric: "The dynamic duo! It’s something I’ve spoken to Harry about quite a bit, and I think the manager deserves a lot of credit for how their relationship has blossomed. He’s demanded different things from both of them, and that has made that relationship click. Obviously, when you have two players of that quality and, on top of that, you get them to do things that express those qualities in the best way, you get what we’re seeing at the moment."

New Year’s Eve

Eric: "I’ll be with my brothers, Patrick and Eddie - they live with me - we’ll light the fire in the garden, they’ll probably have a few drinks and I’ll have a mint tea with honey!"

Leeds

Eric: "I can’t wait for this one. I’m really excited to play them. The way they play is great, they’ve been a breath of fresh air. Marcelo Bielsa is a manager who has a lot of influence in football, including here, I guess, through Mauricio Pochettino."

League Cup semi-final

Eric: "Yes, it's really exciting. I remember the semi-final in 2015 against Sheffield United, the second leg at their place in the snow. Great memories. I’m really looking forward to that, a huge game against a great team in Brentford. We want to be playing these games. It’s where we want to be, challenging."

My best of 2020

Eric: "I’m reading my favourite book for a second time. It’s called Shantaram. It’s about an Australian guy who escapes prison and gets all the way to India, where he embeds himself in life in a slum, and becomes a figure in Bombay. It’s an incredible book, based on a true story, written by Gregory David Roberts. I think reading is so good for you, it takes your mind away from everything. My favourite podcast is still The Joe Rogan Experience. Jan Vertonghen recommended a TV series Operation Odessa on Netflix, that was incredible. Undoing was my TV show of the year and for apps, it’s got to be Spotlas, of course!"

Hopes for 2021

Eric: "To stay healthy, to keep enjoying my football and to continue feeling how we all felt on the first day back from lockdown and, my biggest hope, that we can all beat this virus and return to some normality. I can’t wait to see a full stadium again, that will be fantastic. It will be great to have the fans back."

[bellatrixxue]

Xue’s Supernatural Dare: Wendigo (S1 EP2)

Hello, everyone? How did everyone feel about the finale? Yes? Yes? Oh. Oh. Oh my. Oh, dear.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell that half-assed homophobic chicken-shit fuckbucket’s not gonna stop me, since I strapped myself onto this roller coaster already and I promised I’m not getting out until the ride’s over, so here we go, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Also, those who are in this roller coaster with me, ready? Tag list is: @fangirlxwritesx67​ @amazingiam00​ @kalliravenne​ @indecisive20something​ @2musiclover2​ @impossibletosleepthrough @there-must-be-a-lock​ @wingedcatninja​ @arvit​

Oh my gods this recap is so cheesy I actually can make a fondue out of it. 2000s, everybody!

A WHOLE MINUTE AND A HALF FOR THAT FONDUE

FUCKJUMPSCARETITLEFUCKYOU

So we’re starting the episode with the murder scene first, eh? Is that gonna be a trend?

Oh come on, Chads, you’re out in nature and you’re playing video games? Absorb the nature...before it absorbs you!

Waitwait. Holy shit is that...is that Cory Monteith? Oh, bless his soul...

If the wendigo eats his dick as he’s peeing I’m immediately giving Jensen Ackles $100. For no real reason, I just feel like giving him money for already carrying the show on his back.

I can’t tell if it did or not, so I’m not paying yet.

Aw, Sammy...

"I should have told you the truth.” *Vine voice* BUT YOU DIDN’T

FUCKYOUINTHEASSHOhnightmare. Nightmare. So did he visit her at her grave or not? I need answers.

A week? Goddamn. Poor thing. That man-eating tree’s fucking good at his job, man.

“There’s nothing there, it’s just...woods,” Sam, I don’t know if Jess’s death hit you hard or if you got into law school by eating some ancient dick and/or pussy instead of earning that high score fair and square, but the woods “in the middle of nowhere” (your words) are known to be one of the top places full of weird-ass creatures. Even kindergartners know that.

Ehehehehehehehehe he’s so smol next to his lil bro my lil shit

At least you’re coming up with decent covers this time. No Agent Mulder and Scully ruining things for you this time around.

“Bull” oop-

Oh Dean’s a smoooooooooth operator. Good going, buddy.

AND HE GOT A COPY OF THAT DOCUMENT TEAM DEAN TEAM DEAN

Oh that death really got to Sam. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a trigger-happy psycho. Or eat the man-eating tree and become one himself.

Oh, Haley’s a cutie! Which one’s her brother? Cory? Discount Enrique Iglesias?

Do you have a card for EVERY profession, Dean? And how do I get them too?

That is a very pretty car. I bet they wasted half the budget on that thing.

Okay, sonny boy, little bro, Broseidon, calm down.

Ah, fuck, Haley and Broseidon is gonna go into the woods, that’s more heads to worry about.

How the fuck does Sam find information this fast? I’m impressed, I take five hours to get to one article for my research paper. Or maybe I’m just lazy. So he really earned his law school interview without having to eat dick and pussy, huh.

Every 23 years? What is this, Pennywise? Are we going to see the wendigo do his best Tim Curry do his best scary clown impression? Honk honk?

“Whatever that thing is, it can move.” And the sun rises on the East, Sammy. Why are you so smart and dumb at the same time? Is this his character trait? It might grow on me.

Ahhh, so Sam’s go-to move at interrogation is doing puppy dog eyes and sympathize with the person. He’d make a good lawyer, shame that man-eating tree.

Go Grandpa Exposition, go!

Go Grandpa Exposition, go, give us information and none at all!

OH GEEZ THAT SCAR. PENNYWISE WENDIGO IS VICIOUS.

Skinwalker, Back Dog...Ooh, those all sound cool! I hope we get to see them soon!

‘Corporeal’ doesn’t sound like a real word, but then again, English doesn’t sound like a real language. Sorry. Moving on.

Sam’s gonna eat the wendigo with that attitude, Jesus Christ.

AND HIS BROTHER, AT THIS RATE. If the real villain turns out to be inside Sam all along I’m gonna flip. Is that why women keep dying and burning on ceilings where he sleeps? Is he secretly Lucifer’s spawn or something?

“Oh sweetheart I don’t wear shorts”. They queer-coded him from the start and they tried to make you believe he was straight for fifteen seasons straight? And some people bought that?

Oh, crap, another crappy death treatment for Cory before he got into Glee...No, I wasn’t into Glee, I just watched a few episodes and I might hate Rachel Berry...And Lea Michele...ahem...

Dean is totally flirting with Roy shut upppppppp

OOP AND THERE ROY GOES OH THE SEXUAL TENSION IS HIGH IN THESE WOODS TODAY

“It’s probably the most honest I’ve been with a woman. Ever.” See. Bi. Bi bi bi.

So...why the coordinates, Daddy Negan? Is this a portal to Hell? A place where man-eating trees grow?

*carefully places death flag on Roy*

Ooooh the campsite is very...haunted house-y. You know what I’m saying?

That’s not Discount Enrique Iglesias, but Pennywise wendigo, yes? Those things can mimic human voices, right?

*Google searches*...There are so many versions of this tale I can’t even confirm or deny it. Dammit.

Maybe Pennywise wendigo just wants some snacks and a nice phone and GPS? Maybe he misses his family in uh, Canada or something?

Daddy Negan’s journal is  a e s t h e t i q u e .

I’m so sorry, but the way Sammy smirks as he speaks with those dark, dark voids for eyes? My boy’s a demon. He’s a demon, I’m telling you.

At least Haley has some sense to her. *puts another death flag on Roy*

*PUTS YET ANOTHER DEATH FLAG ON ROY*

True, that. What the heck is Daddy Negan up to with all of this?

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business!” Okay, the way Dean said it gave me chills.

I can actually empathize with Sam here...As whiny and bitchy as he is, he has his reasons to be this way. I guess if I were in his shoes, I’d be less of a Dean and more of a Sam, too. We deal with our losses quite similarly.

Ah, the brotherly bonding moments like these little talks make the show worth it. It’s so heartwarming.

Pennywise wendigo! I didn’t miss you, why’re you here to burst my happy bubble?

I’m starting to see a slight parallel between Haley and Broseidon and Dean and Sammy. Hmm.

Nice meeting you, Roy. Zoop you go.

Haley and Broseidon are taking this rather well, I’m glad they do.

Okay, actual exposition time, thank you.

Whoa, Broseidon speaks! Donner Party! Please don’t remind me of that! Those poor people!

Hibernation and food storage. Delightful, just delightful.

TORCHING? *CALLS RAMMSTEIN*

Somehow, not being able to see the wendigo is scarier to me than what I will probably see itself. Limited budget horror can actually work well.

Oh, dear, Roy literally did a death drop. Badum tissssssssss.

FUCK IT TOOK DEAN THE ONLY CHARACTER I CARE ABOUImean I love you too, Sam! Come on, let’s find him before it’s too late!

A trail of M&Ms! Yes, Broseidon! And Hansel and Gretel refercalled it. Sammy, you and I share the same wavelength?

SHITSHITTHEYTRIPPEDANDFELLINTHEFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Thank the gods the Pennywise wendigo kept them right there. Chances.

DISCOUNT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS IS STILL ALIVE GEEZ BUT ALSO PHEW

Ah, Dean Winchester, I love you so much that I can’t even begin to describe it.

Also how convenient that the flare guns are there. Deus ex machina!

Haley would bode well as a hunter, look at her courage, her will. There are more hunters around than Daddy Negan and the brothers, right?

Yeah, seeing the actual wendigo makes me less scared of it now. It’s unnerving, but still.

TEAM DEAN YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW

Graphics are...alright, but it’s the thought that counts!

Running with the grizzly bear story. Smart Broseidon. Ben. Sorry, you deserve to be called by your real name. I think with practice they could become good hunters, along with their Discount Enrique Iglesias brother! Is there a fanfiction for that? Can I write it now?

...

I AM WILLING TO DIE TO PROTECT DEAN WINCHESTER I

Haley’s a lesbian, that’s why she kissed him on the cheek only. Headcanoned. Also I have a crush on her, she’s really pretty? Like? Heart eyes???

Ah, the siblings parallels again. Let’s hope neither of the two brothers end up in the bed like that.

“Man, I hate camping.” Really. Really really. Really.

“I’m driving”

...

SAM WINCHESTER I’M SORRY I EVER SPOKE ILL OF YOU I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH MY LIFE TOO I PROMISE YOU I WILL

It’s just a sassy bisexual brother and his little snide bisexual brother on the road to kill evil creatures and find their father and I love this show? Help? Help???

I really, really see the charm of Supernatural now! I’m fully invested in both brothers and their story, and I’m cheering them both on! Let’s get Daddy Negan back and get rid of that man-eating tree once and for all!

Six stars out of five!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This dare is introducing me to a whole new world, and I really, really am glad I took that jump a few days ago, man!

Thank you everyone for reading my ramblings, and I’ll see you in the day after with the next review! Thank you for sticking with me! Buh-bye!

- Xue

[just-the-mage]

Review-Love Death + Robots (Pt 1. Episodes 1-4)

So here we are again.  You, dear readers, and I, a mostly defunct tumblr page.  I was thinking...I’ve written a few reviews on here before, and I’ve rather enjoyed myself to be honest.  So until RP starts up again for me, I’m going to grab some popcorn and start reviewing some of the media I’ve been indulging in during this exceptionally fun pandemic we’ve all been saddled with (and are becoming increasingly more and more used to as time goes on).  Here we go! 

Spoilers incoming! I don’t like to discuss a show without going through it entirely-no stone unturned.  You have been warned! 

Love Death + Robots is a compilation series-each episode is self-contained content, based on what I have experienced thus far.  The content varies wildly from cute and sweet to surreal, to horrific.  For right now I’m going to stick with the first four episodes since they are fresh in my mind.  

Episode 1: Three Robots

Three robots shows a short adventure shared by, you guessed it-Three robots exploring the crumbling remains of human society.  It comes across as three tourists making their way through an area that they are completely unfamiliar with, attempting to define and understand elements of the environment as humans once did.  Their analysis and attempts to understand not only human culture, but also basic human biology, were entertaining to say the least.  Each robot has flair, character, and a their own take on humans and humanity.  Over the course of the episode, the fall of mankind is referenced a few times, being initially explained as a mass extinction due to environmental disasters (global warming is probably a factor-one of the buildings has an entire ship sticking out of it).  However, the twist ending throws that whole theory into question once the cat that has been accompanying the robots for the last leg of their journey reveals itself as capable of speech.  And, interestingly enough...being in possession of opposable thumbs.  It was certainly unexpected, and a bit odd-the cat (and its many, many brethren) manage to finish out the episode by convincing the robots that if the robots do not pet them, the cats may explode.  I will say that the ending, though it was rather silly and fitting with the tone, felt like an out of place twist intended mostly to give a bit of closure to a story that had no real need to have an ending.  It felt a little out-of-left field, at least to me.

This first episode, I think, is one that I could recommend to a much more general audience than almost all of the other content of the show.  It’s whimsical and cute, despite inhabiting such a grim setting (and grim it is-post apocalyptic is not taken lightly here.  There are plenty of corpses, some skeletal and some not quite so much.  At least one of them appears to have died by suicide).  I found it to be a nice addition and a good introduction to ease people into the tone of the show.  Definitely give this one a watch, even if the ending sort of comes from nowhere. 

Episode 2: Beyond the Aquila Rift

This episode was definitely a change of pace from the first.  It begins as a high science fiction story starring a hunky, middle aged man and his two crewmates, making some sort of cargo run (?) through a wormhole of some kind, but promptly finding themselves in a completely different place from what they expected.  Hunky space captain wakes up first, finding that he is greeted by an old friend (read: lover) of his, who explains that there was a navigation error that led them off course-way off course.  They’re in a completely different area than they expected.  The ship’s navigator wakes as well, swearing that there couldn’t have been an error in her calculations, but seems ill and is placed back in her future tech cryopod to rest.  Space captain man then bangs it out with his ex-lover (Greta) in a scene that was almost definitely written by a man, and she reveals to him that she lied, and that him and his crew are actually hundreds of light-years further off course than they had thought they were, basically dashing any hopes that he could have of returning to his old life.  The two then wake the navigator again, who immediately starts ranting that ‘Greta’ isn’t who she says she is.  At this point, enough clues have been given that the captain catches up with the audience (it was all a simulation the whole time), and he confronts Greta, demanding that she reveal herself as she truly is.  She does, after some prodding-and the captain finds himself in an infested husk of a ship, aged and haggard, obviously dying of starvation.  Greta reveals herself as a lovely spider-beast, and the captain wakes up from his pod again-back in his comfortable illusion once more.  

I love the premise of this one.  Crazy aliens and shit like this is a huge draw for me-sci-fi horror is probably my favorite subgenre of horror when it’s done well.  I would count this episode as doing it pretty well.  They don’t go into much techno-babble, which I think is a pitfall for some sci-fi stories.  The writers are well aware that we aren’t spending too long in this world, so we don’t need to know much about the rules under which it operates outside of ‘computer mistake your ship fly here.’  The twist ending didn’t end up being too much of a twist-in my opinion there were too many clues given throughout the episode to make it that much of a surprise that things weren’t as they seemed.  The odds of this man meeting his ex-lover in the infinitesimal reaches of space just by chance were a bit too impossible to make it believable-and the navigator was far too convinced that her work couldn’t be incorrect.  In the end, it was an expected twist, but still pretty jarring.  Execution is pretty good overall though-and the sex scene is pretty decent as well, even if its strictly a dude-fantasy thing.  Also, call me a sucker for cool looking beasties, but I adore the design on spider-Greta.  That’s a lady right there for you.  

Episode 3: Ice Age

The only live action episode I’ve seen so far-this one gives an *entirely* different tone than the majority of the other episodes in the series.  Topher Grace and Mary Elizabeth Winstead happen upon a lost civilization that exists entirely within their refrigerator.  They watch in awe as it develops incredibly quickly-hundreds of years passing within the civilization in roughly an hour or so of real time.  What starts in the morning as a town in the viking ages eventually develops into a modern society, almost destroys itself with nukes, and then rebuilds from the ashes into a fully futuristic society that quickly ascends beyond physical form, appearing to disperse itself into the cosmos, no longer bound by such petty rules as the laws of physics.  A disappointed Topher asks if they’ll return-to which he receives a sad ‘no’ from his partner.  It seems all is lost, and the couple go to bed for the night-only to find that the cycle has restarted overnight, and they probably won’t be able to keep any frozen chicken in the freezer for quite some time.

This one is probably one of my favorites of the series so far.  It’s fairly well acted, but the real beauty of the episode is getting to watch the mini-civilization develop itself in a glorious time lapse-the work that must’ve gone into it must have been monumental, to be honest.  The final product certainly felt that way, in any case.  What I also found fascinating was a specific scene in which the protagonists were abandoned in place of some of the tiny denizens of the lost civilization-which made me realize exactly how slow the ‘normal sized people’s’ actions must have looked to the diminutive people of this rapidly developing society.  Reminiscent of the earth’s motion in relation to our own perception-and reinforcing the concept that to an individual, perception is everything. 

Episode 4:  Sonnie’s Edge 

This episode opens with three people transporting mysterious cargo into a heavily guarded complex, quickly encountering and interacting with a ‘bigwig’ of sorts with a beautiful woman on his arm.  Through context clues the audience is easily able to discover that the three (pictured above) are here for a fight-and that their cargo is their fighter, a living creature of obviously immense proportion.  The bigwig asks the team to throw the fight, and they refuse, even after he offers a large amount of money.  (It’s worth mentioning that during this scene, ‘Sonnie’, the leader and controller of the beast fighter, shares an EXTREMELY homosexual gaze with the bigwig’s beautiful lady friend.  Don’t think I didn’t notice the setup, because I definitely noticed the payoff, even though it was rudely interrupted).  Sonnie and her teammates enter the ring, setting up as it appears that she will be piloting her fighter in some way.  Her opponent is also introduced, though he is hardly important in the story-imagine a cake of beef with a big sticker on him that says ‘mysogyny’ in bold print.  What follows is one of the most brutal fight scenes I’ve seen in animation (this is just my personal opinion though).  These creatures fucking tear each other to shreds, with Sonnie’s beast only just barely emerging as the victor, tearing the opposing fighter’s head clean from its body.  The bigwig is obviously angry, as is Sonnie’s opponent, and Sonnie and her team retires to a hotel room of sorts, with the exception of Sonnie-who slips away into the room that houses her fighter, promptly encountering the beauty from earlier! (Payoff time)..and it gets gay.  Fast.  I love me some wlw content, and there’s some nice tension here, right up until the beauty stabs Sonnie through the head.  Rude.  The bigwig reveals himself, which was a bit of a surprise-the part of me that hadn’t seen much of this show yet was hoping for a fluffy little happy ending.  It wasn’t to be though..after the beauty crushes Sonnie’s skull, the two promptly realize that ‘Sonnie’ wasn’t Sonnie at all-just some biotech.  The *real* Sonnie...was the fighter, the whole time.  Who promptly makes short work of both the beauty and the bigwig, (implied), in what I can only describe as the most satisfying moment in the series that I’ve seen thus far.  

This was easily my favorite episode of the show, and has continued to be, and I assume will continue to be my favorite through the rest of the series.  It’s not just because of the lesbian rep (my people!), or the misogynists getting fucking destroyed, but the strength of the reveal, the choreography of the fight scene, and the *power* of the protagonist.  I love her.  I love her sooo much.  We are seamlessly introduced into the world, shown a woman who has been beaten, scarred, faced sexual abuse, and she remade herself into a being of pure power.  She fought back, and *look how she fights back*.  I cannot describe just how much of a cheer-worthy moment it was to watch the smug smile be summarily wiped from the face of the bigwig.  I *love* seeing a villain who has full confidence in their victory suddenly realize that they don’t have the upper hand anymore...and that they are, in fact, absolutely screwed.  This was one of those wonderful, wonderful moments, and I can think of nobody more deserving than this villain of being torn to shreds.  This was an A+ episode for sure-100% recommend this one for anyone who can handle a bit of gore.  

Thank you so much for reading!  This is only part 1...more to come!