#open heath

[tenth-sentence]

It was impossible to mistake the scene of the young lady's adventure, for the road runs between the open heath on one side and an old yew hedge upon the other, surrounding a park which is studded with magnificent trees.

"The Illustrated Sherlock Holmes Treasury" - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

[ravenncouture]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚｡⋆Ways to spend time with yourself ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚

𓆩♡𓆪 take a walk outside

𓆩♡𓆪 watch a tv show or start a new one

𓆩♡𓆪 cook something! find yummy recipes on pinterest!

𓆩♡𓆪 read a book or go to your local library

𓆩♡𓆪 go to the gym or do a workout from home

𓆩♡𓆪 paint your nails or even learn how to do arcrylics

𓆩♡𓆪 lake a long hot shower

𓆩♡𓆪 create a playlist of your favorite songs

𓆩♡𓆪 listen to a podcast

𓆩♡𓆪 make a vision board

𓆩♡𓆪 clean up or rearrange your room

𓆩♡𓆪 decorate your room

𓆩♡𓆪 follow a make up tutorial. lots on youtube!!

𓆩♡𓆪 meditate or pray

𓆩♡𓆪 have a bath!! try a new bath bomb

𓆩♡𓆪 write a letter to somebody. decorate it and make it cute

𓆩♡𓆪 try a new hairstyle

𓆩♡𓆪 create new outfits

𓆩♡𓆪 watch a movie

𓆩♡𓆪 spend time outside

𓆩♡𓆪 walk the dog if you have one

𓆩♡𓆪 make a list of all the things you like about yourself!! make a list of what you can improve on also

𓆩♡𓆪 Stretch or do yoga

𓆩♡𓆪 say positive affirmations

𓆩♡𓆪 bake something you like

𓆩♡𓆪 do breathing exercises

𓆩♡𓆪 karaoke! sing your heart out!!

𓆩♡𓆪 dance in your room alone with loud music

𓆩♡𓆪 do a face mask or self care

𓆩♡𓆪 take a nap

𓆩♡𓆪 reorganize your closet. get rid of old clothes

𓆩♡𓆪 visit a new place! go thrifting or try a new restaurant.

𓆩♡𓆪 play with your cat/dog/pet. they’d love the attention!

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨

that’s the end!

thank you for reading! remember to take care of yourself!! you deserve good things, and good things are coming.

xoxo,

raven

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡

[antisocialsharky]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I've been using some of your posts talking about ASPD to help me better understand it to write an OC I'm writing. I have a question though, do you mind talking about more symptoms of ASPD that I should keep in mind when writing her?

Hi! Very glad to hear that my posts have been helpful and its cool that you are aiming for good representation!

When it comes to how ASPD symptoms should be written and which ones should make it into literature, theres different opinions, so this is gonna go a bit beyond your question I guess? Just to get a roundabout view.

1. Recovery Position

• First thing to rly keep in mind is that the intensity of the symptoms, the way they present and the way the character would deal with them, absolutely depends on where they are in recovery.

• It also depends on what you understand as recovery, be that the reducing of overall symptoms so they are less often present, the act of reducing the harm that is done by your symptoms (ex: trough redirection, or actively learning prosocial behavior) or just learning to find a way to live in society the way you are. No ones view on recovery or the way they go about it (or if they decide not to) is in any way better or superior, but it is an aspect that does change how many symptoms you show in which way, so its important to think about when writing a character.

2. Covert/Overt Symptom Presentation

• Another thing to think about, depending on what fits into your story, is the question as to whether your character is very obviously antisocial, or whether they go about it in a more covert secret way. Can they control which symptoms they show when? Or are they lost to their impulses and emotions? Do they come from a background where hiding their symptoms was essential, or were they able/forced to present obviously?

• Theres also a more mixed presentation where some symptoms are more obvious and others are not, depending on stuff like what meets your needs best, how much control you have and whether or not you've done any active work on the symptoms yet, etc.

• Then you can also think about the personal opinion of your character on symptom presentation. Do they believe that they should get to just be themselves? Are they of the opinion that people just have to deal with their symptoms and accept them that way? Or do they think that they have to hide some symptoms in order to fit into society better? Have they potentially adopted some prosocial ways of thinking and model their presentation after that? Depending on what it is, it will obviously look different.

3. The Causes of their ASPD

• Depending on the type of trauma they went trough that made them develop ASPD, presentation will differ. Its highly individual of course, but theres some themes, like people who come from violent households often being violent themselves, people who were neglected struggling with the social aspects like empathy & remorse, people who were lied to/manipulated/berated all the time adopting similar manners, people who had to commit crimes and/or witnessed those often continuing to do so because its normal to them, etc.

• The other aspect is genetics, where certain tendencies can be given from parent to child or grandparent to grandchild, such as impulsive tendencies, the type of temper someone has, access (or denied access) to certain parts of the brain that are responsible for prosocial emotions, etc. Those genetics mix with the trauma and sometimes push the presentation in certain directions, so its a thing to keep in mind.

• Some CD/ASPD symptoms can also develop/be made worse trough bullying, intense experiences in childhood/teens, hanging around with people who engage in/normalize certain behaviors, etc. (ex: kids with delinquient tendencies who hang around other kids with those, may be more likely to develop that as a continous behavior). So its also worth thinking about who your character was around while they grew up, who influenced them how and what was normalized to them.

4. The Current DSM-V ASPD Criteria

• When it comes to the core symptoms of ASPD, theres 3 out of 7 DSM criteria points your character should meet. It doesn't matter which ones, but it has to be at least three! Your character should also be older than 18, have shown conduct disorder symptoms before they turned 15 and have their ASPD symptoms even in absence of other comorbidities, substances and/or episodes (Criterion B-D which I am not quoting, but thats it summed up)

• The 7 criteria points recognized in the DSM-V are (and I quote):

A. A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of rights of others, occuring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

1. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are ground for arrest.

2. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases or conning others for personal profit or pleasure.

3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.

4. Irritability or aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults.

5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.

6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations.

7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated or stolen from another.

• Everything after "as indicated by" is an example of a possible presentation. The DSM-V acknowledges that there are other possible ways in which symptoms can show up.

5. The Alternative ASPD Model in the DSM-V

• This is not used to officially diagnose people with ASPD, but is one idea, as to how personality disorder classification could work in the future. It looks at the symptoms as dimensions, under which possible experiences could fall and mentions quite a few things the current criteria doesn't, so I'll quote it below as well:

A. Moderate or greater impairment in personality functioning, manifested by characteristic difficulties in two or more of the following areas:

1. Identity: Egocentrism, self esteem derived from personal gain, power or pleasure.

2. Self direction: Goal setting based on personal gratification, absence of prosocial internal standards, associated with failure to conform to lawful or culturally normative ethical behavior.

3. Empathy: Lack of concern for feelings, needs or suffering of others, lack of remorse after hurting or mistreating another.

4. Intimacy: Incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, as exploitation is primary means of relating to others, including by deceit and coercion, use of dominance or intimidation to control others.

B. Six or more of the following seven pathological personality traits:

1. Manipulativeness (an aspect of antagonism): Frequent use of subterfuge to influence or control others, use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve ones ends.

2. Callousness (an aspect of antagonism): Lack of concern for feelings or problems of others, lack of guilt or remorse about negative or harmful effects of ones actions on others, aggression, sadism.

3. Deceitfulness (an aspect of antagonism): Dishonesty and fraudulence, misrepresentation of self, embellishment or fabrication when relating events.

4. Hostility (an aspect of antagonism): Persistent or frequent angry feelings, anger or irritability in response to minor slights and insults, mean, nasty or vengeful behavior.

5. Risk taking (an aspect of disinhibition): Engagement in dangerous, risky and potentially self damaging activities, unnecessarily and without regard for consequences, boredom proneness and thoughtless initiation of activities to counter boredom, lack of concern for ones limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger.

6. Impulsivity (an aspect of disinhibition): Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli, acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes, difficulty establishing and following plans.

7. Irresponsibility (an aspect of disinhibition): Disregard for - and failure to honor - financial and other obligations or commitments, lack of respect for - and lack of follow trough on - agreements and promises.

Note: The individual is at least 18 years of age.

6. Other Common Experiences

• Theres a few experiences that quite a few people with ASPD report, that have not explicitly made it into the criteria. Sometimes these are examples for certain symptoms and/or are implied, sometimes these have been studied but haven't been written as a requirement for diagnosis and sometimes these are not supported by science/still debated by science.

• Apathy, a total lack of emotion, overall muted emotions or having trouble to access certain emotions, is something some people with ASPD talk about a lot. There is no scientific consensus yet, as to whether this is an ASPD symptom. Some theories suggest it falls under PTSD (absence of positive emotions & tendency to experience negative ones and/or having dissociated away from the emotions and/or having put up a sort of non permanent barrier as a form of protection), depression (common comorbidity, anhedonia & apathy can both be part of it), other PDs (schizoid, borderline episodes, etc.) or something else entirely. While its not sure whether its caused by ASPD, or not, a lot of people with it seem to report differences in their capability to feel a full range of intense emotions.

• The criteria talks about aggressiveness and physical fights, which is not the only way in which this symptom seems to commonly present. Harming animals, homicidal ideation, dealing with aggressive thoughts & urges without actually acting on them, verbal aggression, taking out aggression on self or property, etc. are also often reported.

• The current criteria doesn't mention it at all and the alternative talks about a complete inability to form bonds, but community consensus seems to be, that while forming emotional bonds is harder & happens more rarely, it is still possible. The intensity differs (some describe the bond as a logical construct, some only do platonic bonds, some only do romantic bonds, some describe deep obsessiveness, etc.) as does the number of people they find themselves bonded with. Theres also a significant amount of people in the community that describe a phenamenon similar to BPDs FP (aka a bond to a person that is defined by the symptoms of the personality disorder).

• There is some debate on whether or not an absence of prosocial inner standards makes it impossible or more difficult to define personal morals and understand how morality works. Some people with ASPD say they have no difficulties, some report that they struggle with the understanding part, some say they struggle with upholding those norms and others struggle with both. It seems like ASPD could make it more difficult to understand and/or respect the way societies morals work for some, which makes room for conflict.

• Personality Disorders are what we call egosyntonic, which usually means that they are in alignment with what we as people think is the correct way to feel, think and act. This doesn't mean that its inherently impossible to change the way you think/feel/act and that recovery is impossible, but it may make it more difficult to break out of the patterns (if that is what one wants). Some people show little problems in this area, some need a lot of outer assistance and others either can't or don't want to change.

7. Other Things To Keep In Mind

• You should probably think about whether your character fits the psychopathy subtype & if yes which definition of it you want to use (theres different theories)

• ASPD can influence every aspect of your life, so it may interfere with things in such a roundabout way that you wouldn't even think about it at first (ex: Disregard for safety of self => Disregard for your own health => You get ill carelessly => You dont take ur meds responsibly, or put off a doctors visit for months/years => You end up with longterm damage => You don't treat it responsibly => You get more ill => Death. Which happens to ppl without ASPD too, but can indeed be a presentation of that symptom.). Additionally comorbdities interact & interfere with ASPD symptoms and may alter/add onto presentation!

• You could also always add the ASPD stigma into the mix and how your character responds to it/how it influences them. Does it make them not wanna recover? Does it make them wanna recover even more to prove everyone wrong? Are they trying to get into therapy but no therapist wants them? Is it on a court record and causing problems that way? Do they lose relationships/friendships? Does it change the way they see themselves or others? etc.

• The key with ASPD characters is not to just make them into good people or portray them as angels and also not to always make them into the cruel villain. The key is to show that they are an individual, a human being, a single example for what this disorder can present as. If you can somehow portray that the presentation of ASPD in your character is just how this specific character is and is not how the disorder inherently presents itself, you nailed it! Cus u'll have ASPDers who want to just stay the way they are and who are exactly what you'd imagine a cruel villain to be like, you have ASPDers who you couldn't ever distinguish from a prosocial person, cus they learned to blend in and you've got ASPDers who decide that they wanna do a 180 and behave in the most prosocial way possible and then you have everything in between and beyond. So as long as your character would meet criteria, as long as you're not spreading misinfo and as long as its clear that its just one example of a possible presentation, you're good in my opinion (but this is indeed just my opinion and others may disagree).

Note: If you need examples for the specific symptoms, you can ofc send another ask, this is more of a general overview of what exists, cus going into detail on each would make this post wayyy too long.

[melodiousoblivionao3]

The new re-cap episode is so funny Merritt and Syd are decently unhinged and they know CP and Chris so well so they’re all bouncing off each other and it’s incredible.

They’re making fun of CP and Tobin being roommates and actually dating. And T AND C ARE GOING WITH IT AND ALSO TALKING ABOUT IT

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Broken Glass On The Floor - Joker X GN Reader

Title: Broken Glass On The Floor

Joker X GN Reader

Additional Characters: Batman (Mentioned)

Requested by @getmesomethingreal!

WC: 2,592

Warnings: Fighting (verbal), angry J, J doesn't like feelings, J also hates being wrong, death mentioned, the ending of TDK mentioned, J's in love and he hates it, anxiety, hurt/comfort, angst, and a fluffy ending

You hummed a soft tune as you adjusted the beautiful bouquet of flowers into your favorite vase. The vase was a tall one, with lovely shades of blues and greens to complement the pale yellow roses that sat inside perfectly. It sat in front of your window overlooking the small garden behind your home. A few pots of sunflowers and irises were scattered throughout, giving off a relaxing scent. It felt perfect for the springtime season. The vase was your most prized possession, it was the first item you bought when you got your first apartment, and it had been with you for years ever since; plus, you greatly admired the way the blue and green swirled and contrasted against each other. You smiled at the memory as you put away the remaining flowers, turning to see Joker enter your home from the back door, slamming it shut.

Your smile dropped, watching as the Crown Prince of Crime stalked angrily to his office, completely ignoring you, slamming the door shut. Your shoulders drooped, biting your bottom lip as you wondered what happened while he was out. You wanted to do something for J, to make him feel better, so you wandered over to his office door. You paused at the door, letting out a small breath before you knocked. Now, you weren't scared of J, you never would be, J never turned his anger toward you so you didn't hesitate in helping him when he was angry. Normally when he did come home angry, you'd let him calm down a bit and ask him if he needed anything, or even, rarely, you'd hug him. Even though he normally didn't hug back, you felt like it helped him; to an extent.

You slowly opened the door, spotting J sitting hunched over at his desk, hands in his hair; the dim light made the room a little eerie but you ventured in nonetheless. You hated seeing J so upset, you loved him, so you wanted to help him in some way. "J?" You softly, not wanting to startle him. His head whipped up, his eyes dark as he glared at you, slightly startling you but you continued, "Was it the Batman again?"

Joker practically growled as he dropped his hands and clenched his fists, "Are you trying to mock me?" He asked through gritted teeth as he drew out his words, voice rough and laced with anger. 

You frowned, "No, I'm not, J." You said, walking slowly to him. "I'm just worried about you. If you need anything, or if there's something wrong, you can talk to me-"

"I don't need your help. In fa-ct," He licked his lips slowly, "I don't need you." Joker interrupted, standing abruptly as you bit your lip to try and hold in your tears of confusion and rejection.

“You… You don’t need me?” You asked softly, voice breaking slightly before J pushed past you and out of the office. 

You turned, following, your heart hammering in your chest and eyes widening as J stormed back over to the back door, backhanding your precious vase off the windowsill, causing it to shatter on the ground below. J then left the house, leaving you all alone again. You stood frozen where you stood in the hall, staring dumbly at the shattered pieces of glass and petals in front of you. You couldn't believe what just happened. Tears pricked your eyes as you sank to the ground, burying your face in your hands. This isn’t fair... You thought, tears spilling down your cheeks as you sobbed quietly, mourning over your now broken vase.

~~~

J didn't come back for the next couple of days, probably staying over at that abandoned warehouse, and you were actually glad he wasn't home. You didn't want to see him. Even though he broke your treasured vase, you still loved him. You would never stop loving him.

You sighed, staring blankly in your bed, unconsciously cuddling J's pillow to your chest, curled up into a ball as you replayed over and over your vase falling to the floor. You sniffled, tears stinging your eyes once more. “I can’t believe he broke my vase…” You mumbled to yourself sadly. “I really loved that vase...” You trailed off, sighing sadly once more. J had never done anything like that before, yeah, sometimes he let out his anger, but he never broke things.

Sitting up, you sit back against the headboard of your bed, lazily grabbing the tv remote and turning it on; maybe your favorite show or movies are on. Flipping through channels, you stopped at the news when you saw a glimpse of your Joker on the screen. You watched as police helicopters recorded Batman dropping J off the high skyscraper, before catching him with some device and just letting him hang there. You felt as if your heart fell to the pit of your stomach. J almost died. He was caught by Batman, his plans were foiled, that was why he was so upset. 

You shook your head, that was no excuse for J to snap at you and break your vase. You sighed again, feeling defeated. You didn't know what you should do or what to think. What you did know was that you still didn't want to see him, no matter how much you missed him. 

~~~

The next day, J finally came home. His gloved hand holding a piece of paper, he went straight to his office. Dropping the paper on his desk, he exited and looked around the living room, not seeing you anywhere. The room was deathly quiet except for the sound of the occasional car driving down the neighborhood road. You didn't even have the radio playing. J narrowed his eyes in thought, normally when he came home you were doing something in the main room, reading, cleaning, watching tv, dancing even, humming while you put those flowers away in that dumb vase of yours... J turned his head to where the vase had been, the windowsill was empty and the wooden floor underneath was clean. J didn't mean to break your vase, he was just blinded by his fury and the vase was just there. Batman had ruined his plans and destroyed everything he worked so hard for... He was just so angry he needed to do something.

But J would never hurt you. Never. You were his and only his. Though he would never admit this out loud to you, and it bothered him just thinking about it, he cared about you, enough to probably call it love, but J hated that word. And he knew you loved him too, since you told him all the time. But, he hated how weak it made him feel, he hated how weak you made him feel. It was disgusting. It made him feel terrible, he'd get this weird icky feeling in his stomach around you, and his heart would hammer in his chest from just you smiling at him. Disgusting. Though the thought of you with someone else made his blood boil, he wouldn't let anyone else touch you, he wouldn't let them get close. You were his. Only his and no one else’s. 

So, where were you?

J wandered around the home, slowly, his defense up just in case, J checked each room, before stopping at the bedroom. The door was closed and J tilted his head to the side as he stared at the dark oak door. It was usually open during the day, so why was it closed? J licked the scars on the inside of his cheek, glaring at the door as he heard a tv playing on the other side. You were there. Normally, J would just enter the room, but when J tried to turn the door handle, it wouldn't budge. Locked? He thought, staring at the door a little bit longer before heading back to his office.

A few hours later, heading to the bathroom, J passed you in the hallway. Stopping he turned and watched as you ignored him, making your way down the hall and to the kitchen. J continued to stare as your body turned the corner, confused, before he continued to the bathroom.

A couple hours later, J couldn't find you again, and you weren't in your room, his mind racing as to where you could've been before he found a Post-It on the fridge . At least you told him you were at the store. He'd have to send a goon or two to watch over you.

And only later, when you came back and were reading in your favorite chair and he had entered the living room, only then did Joker realize that you were actively avoiding him as you got up from your chair and left the room, almost as quickly as he entered. 

Now, Joker hated being wrong, being stubborn,  but what he hated more was you ignoring him. After spending so long getting used to your presence after all these years, you were always with a hand on his arm or doing some sort of physical contact, only to now be ignoring him... It was irritating. He hated it. It made his skin itch. No matter how much he hated it, he knew he had to do something to try and get you to talk to him again; look at him again. He was becoming restless. Obsessed with the thought of you as he thought up a plan. So, J did what J thought was best, went out into the Gotham streets.

~~~

You sat in your chair, a few hours since J had left again, and you let out a sad sigh. You had been finding it harder and harder to distance yourself from J, but you had to do it. You hoped he'd understand that you were angry and that you were hurting because of him. You did want nothing more than for him to apologize, but you didn't want him to make an attempt to comfort you if he didn't actually mean it, you didn't really care anymore. You knew deep down under that hard exterior, under the mask, J loved you. You knew it. That was all you could ask for.

You sighed, watching the sun begin to set over the horizon, turning the sky a pinky-blue. You wanted J to come back and hold you and kiss you... And tell you that you were his, something you took as his way of showing that he loved you; along with his very actions alone, the way he held you told you everything. You didn't want an apology, all you wanted now was for your Joker to come home and for things to get back to normal.

As the minutes passed and your eyes began to droop, you heard the back door open. Opening your tired eyes, you slowly blinked, your neck straining as you sat up in your chair after falling asleep oddly on it. Looking over at the back door, J stood there, watching you. You felt your stomach flutter softly at just the sight of him, you were happy he was back. You both said nothing as you adjusted awkwardly in your seat, pushing your legs out from under you as you stood, eyes raking over him as you looked at his overall appearance. His hair was all over the place and the grease paint on his face was cracked and slightly smeared. Looking closer, it seemed that he was holding something, his arms up in an odd way that looked like he was crossing his arms; dare-say like he was holding a baby. 

You watched as J slowly walked over, stopping before you as you looked up at him with a small frown. You stared at him as he did the same to you, silently asking him to speak up first, along with asking him where he had been. With no answer, suddenly, J opened his arms slightly, revealing a small gray kitten with little black stripes and bright blue eyes. You gasped lightly, staring at the baby cat in his arms as the kitten meowed; looking up at J, you could tell he was uncomfortable with the little animal on him, so you took the cat into yours. The kitten meows again as you hold it to your chest, feeling the kitten nuzzle its head against you. You couldn't help but smile down at the little one, before looking up at Joker, who just stared at you and the feline in your arms.

"J..." You whispered out, tears forming in your eyes as you tried to push them down, only for J to let out a gruff hum in return, reaching his finger up to gently poke the kitten on the head, as if he was trying to pet it. It was adorable. You then looked down at the kitten, your mind racing with different name ideas as you thought about all the things you now needed to get, like cat food, a fluffy bed, treats, toys, a food dispenser, and maybe even a cool cat tree. You looked back up at J, a small shy smile growing on your face, "Thank you." You went on the tip of your toes to press a soft kiss onto his lips, your cheeks flushing as his hands immediately reached to your sides, pulling you flush against him, one hand going behind your back and one hand weaving through your hair as he possessively kissed your soft lips. Your eyes slid shut as you melted against him, kissing back as passionately as he kissed you. As the kiss slowly died down, you let out a small laugh, J's finger coming up to brush against your bottom lip, smearing the red grease paint that transferred there.

You hummed happily before hearing the kitten meow, looking down, you scooted the kitten to one arm, the kitten's tiny claws digging into your sweater lightly as you grabbed J's arm with your free hand. 

"Let's go to bed. I'm going to make the baby's bed and find him some food." You spoke, your voice mimicking a child's as you merged to talk to the kitten, "Yes, you are so cute, the cutest of cutes. Who wuvs you, I wuv you!"

As J watched you from the doorway of the bedroom, he placed a hand over his heart, rubbing the purple suit slightly as he felt the faint rapid beating of his heart. His eyes almost softened as he continued to watch you interact with the kitten, seeing that smile on your face, the red grease paint still on your lips, he wished you would keep that paint there forever, showing that you were his. J swore he would protect you from anything and everything, not even Batman could get close to you. Mine, mine, mine, mine. With those words echoing in his head, he entered the bedroom, getting rid of the grease paint on his face before joining you on the bed, and taking you in his arms. You smiled as J buried his now clean face in the crook of your neck.

"I love you." You mumbled, your hand going behind you to brush your fingertips against his cheek briefly as your eyes began to drift close, sleep beginning to take over.

J kept his eyes shut as he felt your breathing slow into a soothing, peaceful pace before he opened his mouth only to close it a moment later; pulling you closer into his chest.

[akitasimblr]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS WITH HAILEY HEATH by @doglover-trait

🌴previous | next🌴

[opendirectories]

[zombieiscool]

why so silly >_< lowk forgot about my account sighhh.... but here is some recent art i did :D of heath ledger JOKERRRRR

[chaoticjoke]

As I've stated many times, the Joker doesn't really care what food he puts in his mouth unless it's either expired or just gross. He doesn't eat for pleasure or for the sake of just eating -- he mostly sees food as a fuel that makes him operate on a normal level.

However, there's a theory that he physically can't eat certain types of food because of his Glasgow grin, like stakes or big chunks of meat, because it would bring his facial scars major discomfort, hurt and maybe even reopen the scar tissue. That's why in the movie we can see him chewing fast and yet carefully (mostly with his front teeth) on that appetizer during the fundraiser.

[lavadorafangirl]

🏳️‍🌈Day 22: Ennis & Jack (Brokeback Mountain) 🐑⛰️

i hate this movie just bc it makes me cry so much:( waa waa

[agirlunfilteredsblog]

THE BEAUTY OF VULNERABILITY

Hi girls! No doubt some of you (or none) have noticed I have been absent for quite some time. For that, I truly apologize, and will do my best to explain why in this post while talking about how important it is to surrender yourself to vulnerability.

If I’m being honest, I have not been in the best headspace this month, and felt unfit to be talking about self-improvement and mental health while struggling myself. Roughly two years ago, I lost someone very important to me, someone I was in love with, due to no fault but my own. And I never got the closure to tell this person how I felt, so I feel I’ve never gotten the closure to move on (though rest assured, I am no longer in love). Furthermore, he was a close friend of mine and so, I lost two important things in my life in one go. For the past two years, summers have been rough, as they were now a symbolic of my cowardice and loss.

Sometimes in my head, I tell myself how ridiculous it is to be so stuck onto a situation that happened two years ago; but today I told asked myself why that is. Is it shameful to feel? Is it shameful to acknowledge how deeply we can love? I decided I should no longer feel as though my experiences were shameful; to the contrary, even if the pain is present, it is proof that I am human. That I am an individual capable of love, compassion, empathy, joy, AND sadness. This feeling of loss will eventually fade, time is beautiful in that regard. I remember seeing in a movie that you should simmer in those feelings for as long as you can, because once you don’t feel them anymore; it is over for good.

Writing this is undoubtedly tough for me, as I struggle with opening up. But if there is anything you all have taught me is that there is infinite beauty in vulnerability. I want you guys to read this and remind yourselves that if you are going through pain, heartbreak or loss that you aren’t alone. I am with you every step of the way, despite a screen separating us all.

All my love,

A girl unfiltered 💋

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

🫂 Nellie x Alastor + Angeldust || Letting Off Much Needed Steam 🫂

Word Count: 2,788 words

Warnings/Includes: depressing thoughts, self harm mentioned, and smoking substances.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Thank you for commissioning me again! @hanaotaku95 I really loved this story and writing it for you so of course I hope you love it as well! I look forward to hearing any of your thoughts and feedback!

❤️

~

It's so fucking annoying.

Waking up in a pool of cold sweat after having a rough sleep. A nightmare of the past that still seemed to just cling on so tightly no matter how many times she'd tried to move on and forget.

Nellie was in her own personal hell right now… her hair was a bit messy as she sits up from her bed and as she looks into the dark room she's in she slowly moved to drop her face in her palms with a groan.

The bed is wet with sweat, her heart still racing and Nellie hates these types of days. The ones where she'd wake up and immediately know that her day was going to be shit if she didn't do anything about it.

Bitterly she grabs her blanket and tossed it aside, looking down at herself and her lap with something akin to judgement. When she had nights like this all she could do sometimes was allow herself to feel broken. The thing that she despised about it was the fact that she's been trying so hard… working to be better, good enough and yet… Nellie can't help but feel how much of a waste of time it seemed to be in these moments.

To be who she is and having spent many, many long years having gone through her own situations and problems just to still wake up in the middle of the night; scared, shaken as if she was still a child and her father… would come and take his time putting her back to sleep.

That's the breaking point… thinking about her family makes her feel like crashing out. Like running away as if she was some silly little kid again.

She swings her legs over the side of the bed.

She had been so ruined that when she had gotten home the night before she didn't even strip out of her clothes and now she stood in sweat soaked fabrics that seem to cling to her and Nellie can't help the way she immediately moved to grip out of the shirt and change into something else, scoffing as she throws the shirt aside, listening to the sound it makes as it smacks against the wall.

She quickly changed and after a few moments she stands in a flowery gown and one that she's held onto for many years now… refusing to give up no matter how long she's kept it because it was one of the many little things her mother had left around for her. It makes her feel just a bit better, a bit safer but Nellie still needs fresh air… her room is stuffy and her bed still wet so maybe some fresh air would help her? For both a little piece of mind and a breather.

She sighs heavily, running a hand slowly through her hair to straighten the unkept parts of it but even then as she touches her own scalp Nellie cringes.

A part of her wants to pull them, to yank the many strands out but she knows it's her circumstances kicking in, the thoughts that played in her head often and sometimes over and over again just to make sure she felt deranged in her own flesh and bones. She was starting to lose it…

She curses softly, taking a few steps towards her dresser and on it is a few things like her phone, purse, and hard of different medications that she hasnt taken in a few weeks now and the only reason why is because though she knows she should she can't help but feel like the pills make her feel… worse. Nellie takes the time to check her purse, unzipping it and she's immediately greeted with exactly what she's looking for, a few joints and cigarettes she fixed up earlier because something definitely told her she'd need it.

She moves to her bedroom door and twists the knob after she was ready and slowly she opens the door, the hallway dark and cold but Nellie keeps moving.

It's not a long walk but her steps are careful and light as she walks, trying not to accidentally wake up anyone as she moves to look for the exit to the balcony.

The hotel is a lot… spookier when she's alone in it like this. Nellie doesn't mind the silent atmosphere but what she does mind is when little things seem to pass by her gaze, hiding in the corners of her eyes where she just… barely could see it.

She needs to get out and it's clear by the way she seems to move a hand and lights one of the joints she had decided to bring with her, bringing the rolled paper to her lips, eyes narrowing in the darkness as she notices her hand shaking just a bit.

“Nellie?” A voice suddenly calls out softly, low and Nellie jolts in surprise at hearing it. It's just as she crosses the darkness of the living room, shadows thrown every which way and the voice gives the person away but she's confident when she lifts her gaze just to meet another, mix matched eyes glowing in the dark… those eyes that were usually so fun and bright being filled with regret and sorrow.

It's Angel, poor ..sweet Angeldust and Nellie has heard him be upset before but never had he sounded so worn… so exhausted.

Nellie…knew why. Just seeing him, sitting there while the dark outline of his body seemed to resemble someone hugging their knees to their chest, tight and balled up and she doesn't want to cry from seeing him…from knowing that the hesitation in his voice most likely came from something deeper in him, his night at the pub where to Nellie’s distaste she heard about through the voices of others. Through the whispers that came from other sinners who seemed more than humored by such a video.. one that had disgustingly grown so far and wide that Nellie had been unlucky enough to even see it herself.

Of course the contents had disturbed her viscously. Even outside of seeing the video she remembers Charlie coming home, pissed off over the circumstances, practically sobbing as she pulled at her own hair while blaming it on herself. Nellie has seen her sister get angry many times but the type of breakdown Charlie had at what she called ‘being a failed friend' had been mighty enough to even shake Nellie to her core.

“Angel…” She responds softly but in a way like how someone would speak to a shaken and frightened child. She knows that for the most part at least… that Angel trusts her but she wants to make sure he's okay… even though she's more than positive that he's not…

She approaches like one would approach a wounded animal careful to not do anything she felt would drive him away because Angel had that tendency and the last thing she needed right now was for him to give into it; to push her away when maybe ..they could keep each other a bit of company.

“I'm so sorry Angel.” She says to the pornstar and Angel sucks in a deep breath before continuing.

“It's…alright.” He replies even though his voice is hoarse and just a bit unsure as if he's trying to convince himself of the same thing. As if he was struggling to even understand and fathom his own words.

“It's not.” She responds bitterly but not to him, never towards him but instead to the idea of everything he'd gone through simply because he worked with a piece of shit overlord like Valentino.. it makes her angry, far more so beyond belief and there's so many things she wants to let out, so many things she wants to say but she resists… biting her tongue harshly because the last thing she wants to do is accidentally make him feel worse.

Angel sits there for a moment, silence rolling over them before he huffs out a little laugh a minute or so later, his eyes moving to look over his own body in a sad little smile.

“I know it's not…” Angeldust persists, a little tremor shaking him while his arms seem to tighten even more around himself and Nellie bites her tongue hard enough now that she tasted blood. As silly as she may have found the hotel to be, if anyone was to get redeemed… and go to heaven…then she believed he definitely deserved to go. To.. see the pearly gates that humans and their souls always seemed so needy about. She finds herself wanting to apologize again, over and over but with a soft sigh she waves the joint.

“Want to…let off some steam with me and one of these?” She offers and Angel looks at her again before she sees his figure shift and move in the darkness. He's quiet but she can tell he's getting closer and then he's a foot away or so, the light smile on his lips.

“Yeah..I don't see why not.” He replies and she returns the soft expression before nodding.

It takes a second but she eventually leads them to the door and pushes it open with a little grunt and the air of the night greets her, smacking into her face like splashing her with ice cold water. It's both bothersome and… refreshing.. the way the breeze flows over her skin is almost enough to send the smallest of shivers running over her. Angeldust steps over first, takes in the scenery of the land below with a light hum as he looks at all the various lights and buildings and just as Nellie steps out with him Angel seems to grow silent.

“Is that…Smiles?” He says softly and Nellie perks, turning her interest in the same direction as his and upon seeing the one Angel spoke about Nellie feels her eyes widen just a bit.

It's Alastor, sitting on the roof sitting with his knees up to his chest much like Angel had down so previously. It seems as though everyone is having a bit of a rough night.

She moves without thinking after a moment, not saying anything but instead moving to climb up to the rooftop now, scaling the building and Angel perks at the reaction but… he doesn't hesitate to follow her, climbing up with her until the both stood close to the radio demon who…didn't seem to notice their presences and if he did then he didn't seem to be bothered by them joining him. He keeps his back to them and when Nellie steps forward she notices how his ears were lowered only for them to slowly rise and stand as the two approach.

“Alastor?” She says softly and the man continues to stay seated, tucked into himself while he looks down on the cities of Hell below.

“Nellie. Angel…” Alastor responds after a few seconds, replying where he saw fit and though Angel and Alastor don't get along too well but as the spider sits down on Alastor's side the deer doesn't flinch or react harshly, simply turning his gaze to slowly look over at Angeldust who lightly smiles before Nellie approached and sat on the opposite side with Alastor placed in the middle.

“Interesting finding you two here.” Alastor replies and it's clear that something is bothering the great Radio Demon himself.

“I would say the same about you.” Angel says with a little chuckle as Nellie takes the time to pull out her lighter and light the joint, taking a pull once lit and allowing the sweet feeling of gas to fill her lungs. She coughs, hacking a little as the weed soaks into her like a sponge and as the two take a second to look at her now just to check on her Nellie can't help but laugh lightly when she can, smoke flowing from her nose and mouth because even after everything Angel was still Angel.

She was grateful for that.

So grateful.

Even more so when Alastor seems to perk a bit more, his nose catching the scent of what she was smoking and he would be a liar to say he didn't need it because he definitely did. After all, the voices were definitely getting to everyone tonight, reminding each one of them that they were in fact in Hell.

Nellie can see him from the corner of her eyes as she takes another long pull, the way they both seem interested in what she's doing and Nellie hums before passing the joint over and Alastor slowly reaches out and takes it, holding it like he had just seen her doing so.

“Oh shit, it seems like Smiles is gonna smoke his first blunt.” Angel teases, a small and warming smile on his lips as he moves to rest his elbow on his thigh and his head in his palm as if he was watching something truly new to the eye and Alastor huffs in response, annoyed yes but in a funny way…one that has them look at Angel and lift a brow before returning his gaze to the smoking paper. Nellie reaches her hands back to support herself as she leans on them, kicking her feet back and forth on the ledge now.

“It wouldn't be your first, would it?” Nellie hums, adding on to the banter and Alastor scoffs as if he had heard something truly preposterous though.. he doesn't respond which tells both of them all they needed to know.

Angel can't help but laugh, it growing louder as he hears Alastor take a rip just to hold for just a bit too long and then burst into a fit of coughs and wheezes and Nellie scolds the spider, reaching over to rub and pet Alastor's back while he breathes deeply, so focused on catching his breath that he doesn't even notice how quickly Angel plucks the joint out of his hand as if it meant the world before taking it to his own lips. The spider can be found grinning warmly as he takes a long drag and gracefully handles the drug.

He's ready feeling better, so much better just having this moment with them, both of them and honestly Angeldust doesn't want to imagine himself anywhere else right now but here even if the three of them may quite literally be the most questionable of trios or…maybe unique was a better word.

“W-What was that?!” Alastor suddenly exclaims but it's not in anger but intrigued, his eyes big and… bright as he looks to Angel, the joint and then finally back to Nellie and compared to just moments ago it was clear that Alastor was lit up like a lantern, like a child who had been giving sugar before bedtime.

It's rather cute.

Nellie snorts out a little laugh of her own, Angel joining in with a laugh that was a bit louder, a loud cackle that fills the air.

Nellie rests back on her palms, her gaze looking to the sky and a soft sigh leaves her lips before she finally answers just as Angel is passing the joint back around.

“It's weed silly.” She hums.

“Glad to know you seem to like it. I have more for another few rolls plus… with me being a princess as well it's not like I can't easily get more.” She explains as they all relaxed under the words and the energy surrounding them that told them that even with everything going on… that each one of them had their own views, feelings and emotions that made them… them.

Angel chuckles just a bit more, the cannabis being strong and hitting him quick and hard in the way that made him grin widely as Alastor moves to take another drag though with more confidence and as the smoke filled his lungs for the first time in a very, very long time something in his ‘life’ seemed to make a bit of sense.

As he sits in the middle of the two, for the first time in a hundred years, Alastor actually felt like he could just…

Breathe.

And he finds that to be a blessing of its very own as he smiles a genuine, kind, smile as he looks over hell and then…over to Nellie, his smile growing even more and Nellie simply glanced at him before chuckling out and into the night sky while she takes the time to pass the joint back.

As rare as they were; night's like these were the real reasons any of them found themselves here at the hotel…

And why neither of them could see themselves leaving anytime soon.

[professorlegaspi]

Kitt is the only guy in Celia’s friend group who’s not described as having a mask

[grcveyacd]

open — anyone! muse — heath anderson, 35, assistant soccer coach for norte dame. plot— i've been wanting a love, rosie type plot for a while now. so, i figured i would whip a starter up for it!

“ so, how was your flight? “ he wastes no time picking up their bag, and effortlessly slinging it over his shoulder, somewhat glad that they had decided to pack light. though, with it only being a weekend trip, he figured that not much was really needed to get them through the next few days. “ did you manage to get any sleep, or did your seat buddy talk about the meaning of life with you again? “ he teases, shoulder playfully bumping into theirs. “ we have a party to crash in a few hours so you’ll have time to squeeze in a nap if you need it. “ 

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Almost Eye To Eye - Joker X GN (Tall) Reader

Title: Almost Eye To Eye

Joker X GN (Tall) Reader

Additional Characters: Batman (Mentioned)

Requested by Anon!

WC: 1,138

Warnings: Reader is 6 foot, Joker being Joker, "threats" teasing, taunting, slight insecurity mentioned, grumpy J, slight suggestiveness, mini angst, unsuspecting kiss, and fluff

You stared into the almost black eyes of your Joker, arms crossed with a slight smirk on your lips. He stared right back, trying to intimidate you as you had distracted him from his planning. But, it wasn't your fault that J would plan for hours and hours. You just wanted to spend some time with him. It was hard when he'd leave your home for days upon days only to come home and hide away in the office you gave him and plan his next chaos-filled action. And this whole staring contest was because you couldn't stop rambling about the one-inch height difference between the two of you, distracting him from his work. You just loved how close in height you were, teasing the Clown of Crime about it often.

"If you don't stop staring at me..." He paused, licking his lips, "I'm going to have to make you." J's voice rang out deeply, unnerving.

You just continued, his words getting less menacing the more he spoke, "And what exactly will you do?" You asked, half-lidded eyes leaving his own and trailing over his features; his painted face, his nose, cheeks, mouth, and scars. It was all quite beautiful really. He was beautiful. From the way his eyes glinted darkly at you to the way his almost shoulder-length, green hair shined in the sunlight that shone through your window behind him. Either way, it suited him and you loved every bit of it.

His lips quirked up slightly, and a menacing look engulfed his entire face as he leaned closer to you, "You won't like it." He spoke slowly, and you rolled your eyes, your smirk growing.

"Oh? And what makes you think so?" You challenged, stepping forward until your noses were practically touching. Joker stared at you, narrowing his eyes as he let out a small huff before turning away and sitting back down at his desk, making you laugh lightly. "J, honey, you know you love me."

He didn't answer, but you knew what the answer was. You leaned the palm of your hands on the desk, leaning over as you stared at Joker's work. Normally, J wouldn't back down from a fight, but this time he seemed to be ignoring you. He did this rarely, but when he did, it took a bit for him to open up again. You smiled down at him and rolled your eyes, biting your bottom lip. You moved around the desk, standing beside J's chair as you peered down at his paperwork scattered across it. 

"You know I love you, right?" You muttered, only to get no answer, like always. You didn't mind it though. You knew Joker cared about you, and you hope to some extent it was love. Why would he stay at your home, put up with you, and come back to you... If he didn't care? Why would he kiss you so passionately, hold you protectively at night in the same bed, and love you if he didn't? It didn't make sense if he didn't. And yet you found yourself clinging onto each word he said; even after his anger or annoyance had simmered away. "J?" You murmured, not knowing what else to say. Finally, you heard him hum, still refusing to meet your gaze; his hair covering the side of his face.

You wandered behind him and his chair, pulling the fluffy scrunchie off your wrist and onto your hand. Slowly, as if to pick up or pet a cat, you moved his hair from his face. Joker tensed as you pulled his hair up and tied it up with the scrunchie, fashioning him a small ponytail. Joker almost growled, but quickly held it in, turning his head slightly towards you before letting you pull away. With a sigh, he looked down at his papers once more.

"You look beautiful." Your tone softened, and Joker froze. You wrapped your arms around his neck and shoulders from behind, the soft fabric of his purple shirt soothed you as you leaned your chin gently on the top of his head. When he didn't move, you continued, "And your hair out of your face is a bonus, now you can continue working without it getting in the way." You spoke softly, pressing a quick kiss to his scalp. 

"You are trying my patience." J finally spoke up, drawing out his words, and you hummed, nuzzling your nose into his hair. 

"So what am I supposed to do instead? Sit here and watch you work? Because that's not gonna happen." You chuckled quietly, rubbing your cheek against his head. Joker sighed heavily and continued to loudly scribble on the paper before him with his pen. “Your mind amazes me.” You sighed.

"You're impossible." He groaned, and you laughed, kissing his temple.

"But you love me anyway." You whispered, and again, you got no answer. Taking in a big breath, you let out a sigh, before you slid off him. Wandering back beside him, you peered down at him with a small smile. "Well, I guess, I'll finally leave you in peace. I just wanted to spend some time with you before you left off into the night to try and stop the Batman." You shrugged, before turning to leave when suddenly you felt something pull your back and around, J's hand tightly clenching around the back of your shirt.

Eyes wide, you stared at J as he stared right back up at you. Saying nothing, he trailed his hand up your side and grabbed onto the collar of your shirt, pulling you down and smashing his lips against yours. A shock ran down your spine, and you gasped softly, allowing J to deepen the kiss. The kiss broke when J pulled away, turning back to continue his work. You stood there for a moment, frozen and blinking, before your brain finally caught up with your body.

A wide, lovesick grin stretched over your lips, slightly splotched with red and the tip of your nose white with greasepaint, you practically skipped out of the office, feeling happy and giddy from the kiss. You plopped on your couch, legs up against your chest as you fiddled with the necklace J obviously stole for you. Your lips tingle and burn from his kiss. You giggled slightly and shook your head, grabbing the tv remote and turning on a favorite show of yours.

You missed J a lot when he hid in the office, but you treasured all the time he did spend with you. No matter if he spent an hour with you or a whole day, you wouldn't trade the moments you spent together. The thought made you smile, and you soon found your attention drawn to the television once more. You couldn’t wait until J was done working. 

[mihiigonscepaternampeccavi]

I feel like making ORV oc fan fictions but I’m too lazy to write up a character and their sponsor and ability and shit— anyone got a character they want to have written about or for? Take the credit if you so please, I just want to write stuff…

Oh and it may take more than a few days since I gotta review orv again