#only started reading trimax
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good for them
(spoilers in the tags if this wasn't spoiler-y enough; actually idk if it's common knowledge)
let's talk about vash's hair because they're all so stupidly difficult to draw. i also could not settle on just one vash design
#only started reading trimax#so this was based on the church scene from the anime#vashwood#trigun#nicholas d wolfwood#is only sleeping im telling ya#trigun spoilers
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they've known each other for half a chapter and they're already standing back to back! nightow what fresh hell is this!!!
#trigun#trigunbookclub#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#myde reads trigun#NIGHTOW I AM SHOUTING WHAT WERE YOU THINKING#ITS ONLY BEEN A FEW HOURS IN UNIVERSE#good GOD man#im fully prepared to believe Vash knows Wolfwood better than Nightow at this point#also ive already finished the volume via dark horse i just needed to reread the last couple chapters of the overhaul project#before i start trimax i mean
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Honestly though what a power move to give the main character of your sci-fi cowboy series a goddamn robot arm and then have him actually shoot with his other arm
#it's such a crazy detail because at the same time he DOES have a hidden gun in that prosthesis#he just doesn't use it except as a last resort#and because he's not human his organic arm is probably more accurate and fast than the robot one anyway. INSANE.#I love this series. it's put together in such an incomprehensible way#should I start a tag for this..... it's only a hundred chapters but a lot of it probably WILL be new to me.#ehh sure okay#Tyto reads TriMax
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OMG UR INTO TRIGUN NOWNHELOOO!!!!!!
YYESSS OMG HAJAHWHA I LOVE ITT
this picture changed everything . chemical shift in my brain or smt
#this and then im starting 2 read g•kurakugai too.. JAW DROPE#literally only one of what. five chapters rn so its gna need some time to warm up#BUT TRIMAX???ohh yeah😏#on ch 20/90 and im so stoked for the rest#its so bizarre n funny to have seen this guy 4 years in passing never rly knowing who he is or what hes from#and then the entire series landing in my lap bc i saw some tktk about it . hashtag bandwagon. hashtag trendfollower#asktag#anonymous#trigun#vash
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i know manga vash does have the full blonde originally but i read trigun original manga on like 4 hours of sleep in a haze of procrastination and intense hyperfixation so it passed by in the blink of an eye and i remember barely anything from it. including his blonde hair. full head blonde manga vash is so weird to see
#speculation nation#IM KEEPING A BETTER LID ON THE HYPERFIXATION ok im getting sleep. mostly.#by that i mean im getting like 6-7 ish hours rather than the like. uh. heh. 3-5 hours i was getting for a solid week or two there#i need to go to sleep NOW to get my 6 hours tho. grr bite kill i shouldnt have started reading more trimax#shouldve called it quits after i posted the thing but noooo i had to go and do RESEARCH#and then remember that i do indeed want to read trigun and not just write fanfiction!#smh. hyperfixations are so fucking hard to handle#PLEASEEEE PSYCH PPL DIAGNOSE ME WITH ADHD SO I CAN GO ON MEDS AND BE FREE FROM THIS HELL#the interest wont go away but the all-encompassing life destroying qualities of it will. lol.#Hopefully at least. we can only fucking hope.
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Did yall know that I love this guy??
#trust me it's only gonna get worse once I start reading trimax#and even worse when I watch the movie and stampede#damn what a time to be alive /lh#sweet little bumblebee
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Preen.
Rating: T
Pairing: Vash the Stampede x Reader Summary: Caring for Vash when his wings sprout. CW: angst, fluff, blood, mentions of self-harm, Trimax Vash coded. Word Count: 1.4k A/N: man oh man do I love bird men.
Vash normally stays huddled up in his room on days like this. There's times where he's had to spend nights on end locked inside until his feathers would painstakingly slowly go away. He'd sit on his bed (if he even had a bed at the time) and wait until he was back to normal. He wouldn't leave, he wouldn't eat, most of the time he wouldn't even sleep. He'd just sit there, alone, with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company. When it was all over, he'd be in a nest of dusty sheets, surrounded by smears of blood and ripped feathers, with crimson dripping from his back from where he had agonizingly plucked at himself.
A monster, huddled away from sight.
Inhuman.
He would never dare go outside like this.
But of course, when you came around, following closely at his heel at all times, you never allowed him to hide away from you like that. You once came looking for him after his prolonged silence, and you had found him in a pitiful state – eyes rimmed red, bloody nails clutching at his own flesh like it wasn't meant to be on his bones, and most notably, white feathers sprouting from his face and wings spread out from his shoulder blades.
He was mortified, embarrassed, scared.
This is it. You're going to see what he really is, and you're going to leave.
He went through all the stages of grief when he saw your eyes widen and your steps come to a halt. He was ready to hear your screams of terror and then never see you again. As much as he wanted to hide, he didn't look away. If you were going to run, he wanted to get one last good look at your beautiful face.
But you didn't leave him that night. You stayed awake with him, talking to him, and you had no flicker of fear or disgust when you looked at him. You didn't get too close, you didn't try to touch him, you didn't stare at him too intently (though he's sure you wanted to), and in the morning when his feathers were gone, you took him out to breakfast like it was any other day. Like nothing changed.
It took a long time to build up into letting you see him like this. Apart from that first night when you refused to leave his side after you saw the scratches on his back and the blood under his nails, he only allowed your gaze for brief moments, like when you insisted on bringing him food, and when you'd come back to scold him for not eating it.
Eventually, you started sitting with him. You wouldn't speak. You'd simply sit in the same space as him, often in a chair in the corner, sometimes on the floor by the bed as you read a book, doodled in a sketchbook, or took a nap. No touches, no words, but still offering him a presence he's never had before when he's felt the furthest from human.
He was the first one to break the silence when he saw you using one of his shedded feathers as a bookmark of all things. You simply responded, “I like it. It's pretty,” like it was the simplest thing in the world.
It's safe to say that nowadays, if he isn't there to greet you when you come down for breakfast in the mornings, you'll be knocking on his door within the hour.
Tonight, you're sitting on his bed, his back facing you as he sits with his knees to his chest, hiding the cracks in his face from your gaze. Your fingers gently run through his sprouted wings, picking out bits of lint and grains of sand caught in his feathers with a tenderness you always grant him, even when he's like this, when he doesn't even have the heart to look you in the eyes.
“I'm sorry, mayfly.”
“Hush. Don't be silly.”
His wings shift, slowly unfurling from around himself the longer you touch them for, as if trying to nudge into your hands for more. A part of him feels bad for liking the attention, but he doesn't want you to stop, even though the feeling of anyone touching the plumage along his back still feels so foreign to him.
“So soft,” you hum, and he feels the heat rise to his face, his cheeks dusting pink under the cracks and feathers. Something about you saying that makes his chest feel warm, despite how much he hates the part of himself you're referring to.
“You know,” you start to say, pulling his attention back to you as your gentle fingers pluck the dirt from him. “I'd like it if you stopped hiding from me whenever this happens.”
Vash winces at your words. “I don't… like it when you see me like this.”
Don't look at me.
Don't leave me.
These wings, these feathers, these marks along his face and body – they all feel like some curse. It's not something you should be seeing, but he can't help wanting you here. It almost feels like he has to keep his wings from reaching towards you, like they have a mind of their own.
“I know, and I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving you alone,” you say back, your hands carefully running along the lengths of his wings, your palms smoothing over the feathers, and the feeling sends an involuntary shiver up his spine. “Is it bad if I like seeing you like this?”
“Heh. I don't see why you would. It's… strange. I would never blame you if you wanted to run away.” And he wouldn't. He knows this, and he knows you know this. He's told you far too many times that you should leave, that you shouldn't be around a monster like him, and sometimes he was much meaner than he ever intended to be with you. It's something he'll regret regardless of how many times he's apologized and how many times you've forgiven him.
He just… doesn't feel like himself when he's in this state. He wants you far away, but he wants you close. He wants to scream and cry and curl in on himself until he disappears, but he wants to wrap himself around you and keep you with him in a nest of feathers until he forgets the outside world exists. His skin crawls and prickles where his feathers sprout from, and sometimes his flesh feels like it's burning, but he aches for the feeling of your hands running through his plumage. It's gotten so, so much worse since you've been around, and he doesn't know why, but he'll keep that bit to himself. No point in making you feel bad for his alien biology when he himself doesn't understand it all.
“I would never run away from you. Hell, half the time I'm struggling to keep up with you,” and his breath hitches when he suddenly feels your arms wrap around his midsection, your head resting against the bed of feathers on his back.
“I think you're beautiful, Vash. With and without wings.”
‘Beautiful.’
What a strange way of describing him.
“You like them…” he mutters quietly, more to himself than to you, like he's trying to wrap his head around what that could possibly mean. He doesn't even notice the way his feathers fluff up and bury your face in his down.
“I do, but I'm more fond of who they're attached to.”
You care, inhuman and all.
He was ready to never see you again after that first night, but you're still here, and you're preening him of all things. You've stitched his wounds, comforted him during his nightmares, held him when he's cried, but this? This is a level of intimacy he's not familiar with. It's vulnerable and selfless and loving and… so much more than he deserves, but you’re doing it for him. He has no way of repaying all the ways you've healed him. His wounds are still there, and they're far too deep to ever hope for the scars to completely fade, but your presence alone is a soothing balm he doesn't think he could ever live without again.
One day, maybe he'll look you in the eyes when you take care of him like this. Maybe he'll turn around and let you card your fingers through the feathers on his cheeks. Maybe after that, maybe when you're taking a nap, he'll hold you close in his arms like he wants to and envelop you in feathers, and he'll show you, despite how much he wishes they weren't there, how warm his wings can be.
divider source.
#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun stampede#trigun maximum#vash#vash the stampede x reader#vash the stampede x you#vash x you#vash x reader#vash fluff#vash angst#vash the stampede fluff#vash the stampede angst#vash x you fluff#vash x reader fluff#vash the stampede x you fluff#vash the stampede x reader fluff#pipwrites
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nuts reading trigun in japanese 5 - vash is. super good with kids
disclaimer: more triangulation purposes etc etc
so i mentioned before in my part 3 that the japanese language has an inbuilt hierarchy quirk to it. and i kind of noticed this nuance getting somewhat lost in the english translation, either because again i have skill issues with english, or that EN inherently doesnt come with the same quirk.
elaborating a bit more: this hierarchy of position/standing can be determined by age, profession, occupation, and experience. in terms of hard priority, age and profession tends to take precedence over everything else.
this means effectively, vash being over 150 should be top dog and given respect in JP/Asian context (respect your elders! or else!!), but because he 1) looks 24, 2) uses very immature speech with strangers, 3) uses boku, hes effectively keeping his head down and posing as a dumbass schmuck.
ヴァッシュの兄貴 行っちまうのか!? Big bro Vash, you're leaving?! (兄貴 = aniki = big bro but informal and can be used for no blood relations)
so schmucky that he has no problems handling children. in fact, in the JP version during his departure on the sand steamer, the kids call him Big Bro Vash. twice! so he's earned their adoration in no time flat.
ヴァッシュの兄貴—ッ Big Bro Vash!!
leaving the translation like that ^ wouldnt flow well in english, so rip. also. cute scene.
and yet his meeting with Kaite is chaotically bad to say the least. i mean, he even gets drugged and knocked out. Kaite does not respect the guy who gave him food at all and plans to seemingly feed him 3 meals a day for the entire trip. so how? well.
once Brilliant Dynamites Neon comes in and turns things serious, Vash's starts doing a few interesting things.
skipping forward this and that. after getting almost blown off the sand steamer, vash holds onto kaite and they both cling on for dear life:
もうちょっと登れば通風口があるよ mou chotto noboreba tsuufucou ga aru yo If we can climb a little higher there's a ventilation duct そーか そーか 今行こうす��行こう souka souka ima ikou sugu ikou Okay, okay, let's get going right now!
added romanji and color to highlight how vash is repeating phrases in his line. the そーか そーか souka souka and 行こう 行こう ikou ikou repeats are there as if to 1) make himself sound immature, and 2) to reassure kaite that things are under control.
only touching on the bottom right panel. another possible reading of that line:
助けて頂いてありがとうございましただろう Situations like these are where you should say "thank you very much for saving my life" instead!
はいそーでした!!!
Now say it!!!
he's chiding kaite and doing the very asian adult thing of teaching the youngin manners in terms of tone. but in a stern funny way no offense taken way bc, as you might have noticed...
vash is deliberately putting himself on the same level as a kid. in tone in standing in speech. hes not being condescending. hes not lording his status as an adult over a child. (something something christ like but in the context of jp... hehe.)
this is ultimately what gets tough nut kaite to trust vash to get down to business to defeat The Neon. even without the words hes visually getting himself to be on the same (eye) level with kaite. i think its so good alsdjfdsa
kaite starts crying after thinking of his dad and regretting what he's done, gets caught in a regret reflection loop, but vash brings him back to reality. like this:
な に を 感 傷に ひ た って る か な こい つ は
another reading of this "What the hell are getting all sentimental for now ya brat?!" line might be "What. Good. Is. It. To. Lose. Your. Grip. On. Yourself. Now. You. Dummy?!"
with this he puts kaite's head back into reality and readjusts both their priority.
so again. vash just. is good with kids. his emotional intelligence is through the fucking roof as proven by all the other moments throughout tristamp and trimax*
idk its warms me bc. the asian confucius hierarchy is so... yuck. im technically of chinese descent so i know how fucked it is. so. vash is really cool with this slightly extra japanese asian hierarchy context.
i think this aspect of vash is something i dont see in english fanworks a lot, and not in the same tone. on the other hand, i do see this a lot in the jp fanworks. so idk exactly what factors or if im looking in the wrong places, but yeah. vash is good with kids. just like wolfwood.
again, studio orange understood the assignment and gave some of that dynamic here to Tonnis.
are they called studio orange bc im meant to squeeze stampede for all its worth or what. stampede is actually incredible to me im in awe.
bonus:
the jp version of the left text says roughly:
"I'm cursed!! I must be! By either the reaper or a god of misfortune and or more!!"
yeah he specifically says Shinigami and Binbougami. i dont think that would translate well in en bc this kinda throws the catholicsm theme into a bit of a tailspin LMAO. (also. the Ore here. note the context.)
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i dont have any trigun mutuals so i'm just gonna ramble my thoughts into the infinite void of tumblr. and im sure others have touched on this same topic but
it almost seems like vash is getting softer with every new installment of trigun? like incredibly consistently and incredibly specifically.
let me explain.
i'll start with tristamp and work backwards; the tristamp vash we all know and love there is incredibly adverse to violence.
more often than not he ACTIVELY refuses to fight and just WON'T draw his gun. this post loosely counted the amount of bullets that he shot throughout all of season 1, and almost ALL of them (like to an insane degree) were dished out against knives, who vash knew was strong enough to take the hit.
the few times vash does draw his gun against a human in tristamp, it's as a blunt force weapon (against the badlads gang and livio, for example) or to disarm others/save someone with ricochet (like shooting the punisher before wolfwood can kill livio).
he just doesn't shoot people. at ALL.
then if we look at 98 trigun, things change drastically.
here, vash isn't afraid to hurt people a little if it means more will be saved in the end. of course he never kills, but he actually shoots people here. not only that...
he holds a casual, sarcastic conversation while pointing his weapon at people.
he constantly shoots at limbs to immobilize people, fires warning shots extremely close to peoples' vitals, and performs several very insane trick shots throughout the show to wound those with armor.
tristamp vash wouldn't even draw, but 98 struts around firing warning shots into the sky and singing about bloodshed for intimidation! i'm not sure there's a single episode where he doesn't shoot someone at least once.
...so what about trimax, then?
(PLOT SPOILERS AHEAD)
he is so. shockingly. violent.
of course he never kills. of course he's still trying to save people, but there's this anger in him that i was completely taken off-guard by reading for the first time.
tristamp vash is so soft he's painful to watch. 98 vash makes a heartbreaking effort to be as silly and nonthreatening as possible, constantly making himself out to be the fool. but trimax?
he's... literally grief-stricken and out for revenge. explicit revenge. he's angry and he's hurt and he lays his intentions out so clearly. he's making THREATS.
seriously:
hunting legato. HUNTING him.
it's not even a matter of drawing his weapon anymore. he does it constantly, and fires just as much. never to kill, but he doesn't joke around the way 98 vash does. the most he'll offer is a sunny smile to reassure others and nothing more.
i'm not that far into the manga, either. i'm sure there's countless more (and probably better) panels to convey this side of trimax vash, but i suppose it also says something that i've found so many panels depicting this so early on.
but the progression of vash's personality is fascinating regardless.
from a tortured, angry loner desperately trying to cling to his morals for rem's sake
to an equally devastated man who devotes himself so completely to acting the role of the fool
and finally to the sad, chronically depressed shell of a person in tristamp who refuses to so much as draw his weapon.
#trigun#trigun stampede spoilers#tristamp spoilers#trigun 1998 spoilers#trigun 1998#trigun 98 spoilers#trimax spoilers#trigun maximum#trigun maximum spoilers#vash#vash the stampede#ok god just trying to cover my bases with all those tags#the last thing i wanna do is spoil anyone#this is such an incredible series and i want everyone to enjoy it in its purest form#but yeah i could ramble about the different vashes aaaaaaaalllll day#i kinda wanna compare all the ww's too cuz even if the differences arent so violently distinct theyre like twice as intricate#but vash's relationship to violence over the years is the most fascinating thing. he's so quick to fire in trimax and 98 for the safety of#others- both with wildly different mental states behind those bullets- but tristamp just. doesnt. Period.#tho admittedly this s1 tristamp has kind of turned out to be the prequel. i wonder if he'll be quicker to the punch in s2#anyway god gonna stop rambling now. this post was mostly just for me anyway cuz i wanted to put my thoughts in order#ill be surprised if this goes anywhere#trigun spoilers
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Ranking Every Wolfwood!!
happy wolfwood wednesday! i've ranked every wolfwood and it very quickly got out of hand and turned into more of a character analysis/meta. it was really fun and helped me better understand why i love this guy so much!
yes, really!
i hope you guys enjoy and that my autistic rambling makes sense!
1. trimax wolfwood. yeah he’s perfect. nothing else to say. god bless
while i can’t fit everything i love about him into one post, just know that i’ve written almost 30,000 words in wolfwood (and vash) character studies. so when i say “i like trimax wolfwood” that really means “i am fucking obsessed with trimax wolfwood”.
he’s the perfect mix of silly and heartbreaking, funny and serious, annoying like an older brother, deeply kind, so so painfully human; and a PERFECT foil to vash. simply phenomenal writing.
my only complaint would be that his tits are not on display like they are in the 1998 anime. but i can appreciate the subtly, so this doesn’t detract from his otherwise flawless score.
2. 98 wolfwood. omg hiiiii hehe twirling my hair ohh he’s so handsome what an absolutely beautiful design for him. his nose, his spider-esque shape, his TITS…… they even kept his little whiskers!
on top of an amazing design, he’s a very good balance of silly, irritable, playfully annoying, and serious! he fits pre-trimax wolfwood to a T!
but, as trimax progressed…
he’s cool. too cool. he has too much pull. wolfwood should NOT have swag. genuinely it is imperative to his character that he is, and i say this as lovingly as possible, a fucking loser with no friends.
wolfwood is a deeply traumatized man. he isn’t nearly as charming as we, the audience, thinks he is. no one laughs at his jokes, his insults are crude and immature, he embarrasses himself in front of literal children…
god, he is so painfully awkward. and who wouldn’t be in his situation? to have your childhood stolen and forced to grow up as a weapon? not allowed to interact casually with anyone else during the most important developmental stage of your life?
he's just not suave like tri98 wolfwood is. so, while 98 wolfwood is an excellent character, he doesn’t entirely read “wolfwood” to me. similar to how 98 vash is good on his own, but he’s just not “vash”. this is, of course, the result of making an anime out of a manga that wasn’t even 30% finished at the time. while i don’t understand the reasoning behind this, i know that nightow desperately needed the funds the anime brought in, as well as the motivation to keep making trimax, so i have to simply make peace with the dated characterizations tri98 has.
but don’t get me started on the milly situation. really a godawful writing decision, idk who approved that mess.
3. tristamp wolfwood. he is so bullyable. he’s like a sopping wet cat. absolute fucking dweeb.
i debated this for a long time—whether i should rank tristamp wolfwood above tri98 wolfwood. and i asked myself, do i love tri98 wolfwood because he’s a good character and is similar to trimax wolfwood? does he even remind me of trimax wolfwood at all? well, not really, he’s very clearly based on pre-trimax, just like tri98 vash is.
ultimately i decided i do genuinely just prefer tri98 wolfwood, but i felt the need to defend tristamp wolfwood because i see a lot of fair criticisms but also really dumb discourse throughout the fandom about him. so here’s my attempt at trying to address these:
so, there are some things i really enjoy about him and some things i really dislike; and, unlike vash, most of these criticisms are not a result of time/pacing issues. they’re easily fixable.
like, for the love of god he NEEDS to get sillier. they got the loser part down, but he’s a bit too overtly sad in tristamp. i think he will be more like his trimax self in season 2, but wolfwood’s humor is in-part a coping mechanism and important to his character. he’s an older brother! he’s fucking annoying! he thinks he's funny when he isn't! we do get a little bit of this with him and meryl, when he's tormenting her at the campfire, and that’s what i want to see more of. even if he’s playing it up, he should be working on getting their guards down, convincing them he isn't going to betray them.
since tristamp takes place in a weird prequel sort of canon, i get that he would look/act younger than he is in trimax. i think he was modeled after the teenage wolfwood we see in the flashback scenes of him training for the eye of michael, where he’s noticeably less outgoing and more reserved.
however, this doesn’t change the fact that he WAS silly as a kid in trimax, before his “teenage angst phase” (hate to call it that when it’s more like a “realizing he’s going to die by the gun and not being able to do anything about it” phase). but he’s still a lot quieter and reserved in tristamp as a kid, so i think we really need to find a good balance here in the trigun adaptations.
another example of an easily fixable issue—i really hate how they did the “vash sees how kind wolfwood is” scene, in which wolfwood gives money/snacks to children. in tristamp, wolfwood already knows the kid is zazie, which tells us absolutely nothing about his character. this scene is almost entirely worthless, only good for reminding vash that he should eat, which gives tristamp its own not-as-good hospital yuri scene.
and, so, about the elephant in the room… i don’t think he was whitewashed. let me try to explain my thought process.
tristamp, as far as i can tell, doesn’t seem to be taking any inspiration from tri98, whose wolfwood is very explicitly a brown man. trimax wolfwood i feel is a bit more ambiguous in his skin tone, which alternates between dark screentones and completely uncolored pretty much at solid 50/50 odds. just fairly inconsistent overall, even on the official manga covers.
but this doesn’t mean wolfwood is white in tristamp, and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his aquiline nose. the notorious scenes of him in the suns, looking white as a fucking sheet, shows us how a 3D environment can diminish a character’s silhouette and distinctive features.
compare this to scenes of wolfwood in a dim environment, or to the 2D scenes of child wolfwood and livio that i can't include bc i'm only allowed 10 pics. he looks MUCH better, much darker than vash, and as they both should appear in such lighting. it just doesn't add up—he should be much darker in strong light if they followed the same color values:
SO, even though i feel like all of this is more of a technical issue rather than malicious whitewashing, that doesn’t mean i think it’s acceptable. it looks fucking awful, and the lighting system needs major improvement to work with darker skin tones.
and, like, at the end of the day, wolfwood isn’t canonically latino, and he doesn't really have a consistent skin tone either. it’s a great headcanon, one i partially share, but it’s not canon. the only ethnicity that could technically be considered somewhat canon is japanese, as wolfwood was based off a japanese singer named tortoise matsumoto. you can see this resemblance best in early trigun!
and i really need to defend his nose!!! a lot of people say he lost his nose but he didn’t!! i promise it’s there!!! another victim of his 3D model, you can only see his nose from the side or in the 2D frame after he gets his shit wrecked. see how clearly he has a very well-defined nose when he’s hand-drawn? this is what i mean when i say a 3D environment can drastically alter a character’s important features, as much as i otherwise adore the animation for this show.
also, if you think nightow would let studio orange get away with not including his nose, you got another thing coming.
in conclusion, while i think tristamp wolfwood is a great start, he’s just not quite there yet. but i have immense faith that the next time we see him, he’ll look and act a lot more like he does in trimax!
i know this is true, because there are already some shots in tristamp where i’m just like. oh yeah. there he is. that’s wolfwood. there's the guy i love so much
...
well, that was long! this was really fun to write and i
oh jesus christ what the hell is that thing
4. badlands rumble wolfwood. ah, now here’s a great example of overt whitewashing. no lighting excuses this time, just blatant colorism.
even if he wasn’t ghostly white, there's just something about his design that makes me viscerally uncomfortable and i can’t pinpoint what it is exactly. he’s just so… angular. he has no scruff, no kitty cat mouth, his eyes are very oddly shaped, almost no eyebrows... i just really hate looking at him!
his ONLY saving grace is how mentally ill he acts in this movie. and his tits. otherwise i don’t really have much to say about him!
ok, now we’re done! and here’s a handy wolfwood chart i made to summarize everything.
really hope this was fun to read and if people liked this i'd be glad to write a vash version or other characters!! happy woowoo wednesday :)
#trigun#trimax#tristamp#tri98#wolfwood#vashwood#a little bit. enough for me to tag hehe#meta#trigun meta#character analysis#also i don't mean to imply ethnicity = skin color but latino wolfwood is by far the most common headcanon i've seen. which i really like!#but it can very quickly diverge into the latino lover trope and i've seen that A Lot in this fandom#and i don't really want to get into fanon wolfwood here bc that's an entire other can of worms
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TrigunBookclub Afterparty!
Hello there! As bookclub winds down to a close, there a few things to announce:
Bookclub Afterparty!
Bookclub may officially be over, but the Trimax brainrot continues! There are some bonus comics, the Multiple Bullets anthology (with all its great and terrible stories), and some folks have fallen behind, have essays left to write, or have things they wanted to create or share and haven't had a chance. I myself fell behind since life has been a bit hellish on my end, I'm two volumes behind--and I don't seem to bethe only one in that position!
So, I want to invite people to keep using and watching the tag until the end of October! Discuss, share theories, thoughts, art, shout-out posts and ideas that you love, just have fun! You can discuss the entire series and all related materials--hell, you can even do a read/reread it if you want to. Whatever goes, so long as it follows the guidelines.
Bookclub 2.0!
I've been talking with the @trigun-manga-overhaul team, who we all know has the best Trigun manga translation out there--but it's about to get better with Overhaul 2.0! When it drops probably next year, it will be at the pace of a chapter a week, and I plan to run the bookclub during that time to celebrate! This gives much more time for discussion, comparing, analyzing, and keeping up with posts. Since it will be a longer reading time and it's round two, spoilers will be allowed, though I will ask that they be tagged.
I also highly encourage everyone to feel free to use the tag when the hardcovers from Dark Horse are released to celebrate and discuss!
Bookclub Archive!
Since social media has a tendency to be ephemeral at best, the lovely @versaphile has taken it upon themselves to archive the bookclub posts of everyone who gives permission for them to do so! This way you can binge meta and posts and find everything much more easily. You can find the archive here, and see an example of archived posts here. If you're interested in or okay with being included in the project, please contact @trigunreferencelibrary!
Bookclub Stickers!
Multiple people have talked about wanting a badge of honor for participating in/keeping up with bookclub, and I think that might be a bit tricky... but how about some stickers? I figure that this way, the shipping is affordable even for international folks since I've seen a good amount of people around the world participating and lurking! I'm going to try and find printing for as affordably as I can (if anyone out there knows any good distributors for smaller batch sticker orders, please shoot me a DM!), and it won't be something to profit off of--just in memory of a great time! The only thing is I have two options, and I don't know if either of them are even what folks want. So...
And that's all that I can think of for now! I'm a bit exhausted and run ragged at the moment, so feel free to ask for any clarification on anything. When I started this project, I honestly didn't think I'd get many if any people following through--I know people lose their focus easily (myself included). But instead it turned into a huge celebration of a beautiful manga that is finally getting the attention it deserves after kind of getting buried by time. I've met some absolutely amazing and brilliant people throughout this event, and I just want to say thank you to every single person who made a post, supported others, and/or just lurked. You guys are fantastic and made this an amazing experience.
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Trigun Book Club: my thoughts on trigun volume 1
i've only read the whole manga once, so this is my first re-read. I've already watched the 90's anime so I'm pretty familiar with this early part of the story. but once I get to trimax I'll probably understand the story a lot better this time around, which i am excited for!
the story starts out with a bang!
DAMN they have it rough out there D: I think the first chapter does a good job setting up just how bad things are out in the sticks.
shoutout to heinz ketchup, that is also my favorite brand of ketchup! :O sold all over earth and also in space apparently!
(but instead of pitbull it's heinz ketchup HAHAHAHHAHA)
HELL YEAH THE GIRLS!!!
i like that their character designs (especially meryl's) clearly reflect them being fancy-pantsy middle-class city people contrasted with the small countryside town people who live in absolute squalor. since economic inequality is a consistent theme in the story
vash's bold fashion choices interest me. this must be the skinny jean version of tripp trousers:
(as pictured).
perhaps vash was the true goth all along, not wolfwood?
cute page but also yes, salmon sandwiches... sand salmon from the sand ocean on the all-desert planet... tbh i like that the food/resource scarcity of the setting only matters when nightow wants it to, and we get silly moments like this. i think it's way funnier like that and i write it into all my fanfics B)
Vash goes to bed with HIS SHOES ON?? (also all his other clothes). Maybe the 943896437 straps on his boots and super cool skinny tripp pants make them too hard to take off so he's just stuck like this now :(
concluding thoughts:
I don't really have anything insightful to say as the story's just starting out but I'm excited to read more! :D
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TnK's Trigun Fic Listing
Ok now that I've got 15 fics out for Trigun (so far) and at least a couple of those are upwards of 20K and some of them are sequels and followups and ongoing, I thought maybe I should do a proper list of things, to make it easier for people who want to read in some kind of order. I'm terrible about talking up my own work but this is also for my own reference so that's fine, right? ^^; All fics are Vashwood-centric (I will get to Nai in a minute I have a backlog) and ratings vary from Gen to Explicit, though all are intended for an adult audience. This list is complete as of September '23, I will update it periodically as needed!
NB: I'm lucky enough to have gotten fanart for some of these and sometime when my head is not full of mud I'll go in and add links to those where I can. (Or please drop a link in the replies if you are one of the wonderful artists in question!)
THE BIG THREE STORYLINES:
Someday Out of the Blue & I Believe in the Kingdom Come
Trigun '98 canon. Reincarnation fic. The first one is a story I started writing over 20 years ago and quit after a chapter because I was just too heartbroken (and did not know it, but was also too young). Picked it up and finished it this April (2023) after Stampede clobbered me and I fell off the "we don't talk about wolfwood" wagon. The second story is a direct sequel to tie up some loose ends from the first one, and also to indulge my need for a proper happy ending. (I think a lot of folks don't realize Someday has a sequel but it does!!)
Black is the Color and Mysterious Ways
Trimax Canon. Resurrection/Fix-it/Angstmance with a much shorter, sillier, smuttier epilogue. Three years after the end of Trigun Maximum, Vash is having some trouble laying his ghosts to rest. (You may have seen this incredible artwork which has gotten around a bit and boosts the story better than any summary of mine possibly could.) Weird things happened when I was writing this, I don't mind telling you. Mysterious Ways was mostly an excuse to explore some of the more interesting concepts brought up by the first one, but saying anything more would be spoilery.
Eyes of the Storm
(Mostly) Trimax canon. Cryptid Vash AU, slowburn romance, ongoing. When Nicholas D. Wolfwood gets roped into being the new caretaker for the now-abandoned orphanage where he spent his childhood, he soon finds out that his own hidden memories are not the only thing haunting him. (What the fuck is a Typhoon?) Wolfwood, Vash, Livio, Elendira, et al. This is the one currently in progress at six chapters out of ??. Pretty SFW so far BUT NOT FOR MUCH LONGER CAVEAT LECTOR.
List continues with standalone and shorter fics below the cut!
Honeymoon
Generic Trimax/98 setting. Plant Heat, Wingfic, Tentacle Fic, What the fuck is Hay Fever. Wolfwood offers to help Vash out with a personal problem and gets a little more than he bargained for.
Strange Powers
Generic Trimax/98 setting, comedy/smut/potato jokes/fisting with a loaded prosthetic. What if Vash and Wolfwood (accidentally) got really, really hella high?
Hurricane
Trigun '98 Canon.
Vash: Make money? As a priest?
WW: Well. *mysteriously* Not only that.
Vash: (oh my gosh he's a prostitute)
Shortfic. Wolfwood tries to figure out how to offer his services to someone he doesn't really want to be a paying customer. Short and smutty while also demolishing Wolfwood's professional boundaries.
Skin Tight
Generic Trimax/98 setting. The Infamous Red Dress. PWP, Wolfwood needs to be in the Vash Sensory Deprivation Tank, Vash in high heels, the dress gave its life for this fic you should read it and honor its sacrifice. Look. This is just porn, guys. You want the porny fic? This is the porny fic. (just kidding most of them are porny fics but this one is especially so.)
Secondhand Secrets
Generic Trimax/98 setting. Introspective/Vignette/Wolfwood POV. Vash's artificial arm always moves in his sleep, and Wolfwood wonders what he's looking for.
Personal Jesus
Badlands Rumble canon (post-film), Wolfwood has poor emotional coping strategies, hurt/comfort (Wolfwood provides both), first-time. That red hotel minifridge never stood a chance.
A Fool From Any Direction
Trigun '98 Vash's weird horny schtick is a front, and self-respect doesn't save lives. Which is too bad because when Wolfwood finds out what Vash is planning next he's gonna kill him.
Benediction
Trimax but could also be '98; Sometimes being a hero is not all it's cracked up to be. Or maybe Vash is the one cracking up. Hurt/Comfort, Wound Care & Bible Quotes, Noman's Land is a bitch of a planet. Shortfic, feels, non-explicit/no sex.
A Bit of a Tight Spot
Generic Trimax/98 setting. Costume Porn, PWP, No corsets were harmed in the making of this fic. I feel like this one gets missed a lot which is MADDENING because you guys. WOLFWOOD'S DOUBLE Ds IN A CORSET. And like, in a gender euphoria way, not in a comedy drag kind of way (though comedy drag does make a small appearance). I don't know how the good minister tightlaced in cuban stockings while giving Vash a blowjob in front of a mirror in the attic of a whorehouse can get so often overlooked, maybe my title or summary is lacking, but it's one of the hottest things I've ever written and its engagement is just in the basement? When (emphatic baffled hand motions to Nicholas D. Wolfwood wearing a garter like a thigh-holster). Anyway.
The Quick and the Bed
Trigun '98 Comedy, Romance, First Time. The single bed trope. Drunk Idiocy. Wolfwood's vows are in serious danger. (Wolfwood does not have vows.) Readers have let me know that they find this one amusing. Roommates of readers have sent me threats of bodily harm due to badly-stifled hysterical laughter at 3am.
THAT'S ALL FOR NOW MORE STORIES WILL BE ADDED AS THEY OCCUR!
SMALL DISCLAIMER: I'm a full-time working writer and my fanfic is something I give away for free out of love. Please don't copy, alter, plagiarize, feed to AI in any form, fold, spindle, or mutilate. I'm not in the market for concrit, but if you like my stories please feel free to leave me a comment/kudo, download/print/fanbind for personal use, or let other readers know!
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TRIGUN ULTIMATE OVERHAUL SEPTEMBER UPDATE
OVERHAUL UPDATE 09/01/23 - Upcoming release schedule changes and Japanese scans.
Hey there and welcome to another monthly update!
Work continues steadily on the page cleaning front, both Japanese and English versions are being finished. The main translation work for the English 2.0 translation is still on hold until the cleaning work has come a little further. We are gathering a lot of notes, though, all from dedicated people working hard on double checking our old translation and sharing their findings. It still remains a great help!
However, there are a few change of plans since the last update. Despite the poll result showing a preference to have the Japanese scans uploaded with a chapter a week, it might not be possible anyway.
Due to legal issues, something we embarrassingly overlooked in our excitement to share our work, it is best if we share these scans in as few posts as we can. To avoid too much attention, we've decided to instead post a volume a month starting October 2nd. The English release of Overhaul 2.0 will only begin some time in 2024, as the entire volumes a month will be a top priority to stick with the posting schedule. Even with this change of plans, we hope to avoid legal scrutiny. We might be forced to change our plans again, but we will keep everyone informed and we apologize for the the inconvenience.
For the future in 2024, it is quite possible that we'll join forces with @trigunbookclub for the release of Overhaul 2.0. We hope to partake in yet another great event, and look forward to reading everyone's potential responses to our new scans and new translation.
Until then, we have a few Trigun Vol 2 double-page spreads to show off, and a little surprise:
~~
And as always, the goal if for the middle to appear seamless, at least for the first itself. If you can't tell where the seam was before, then I've done my job correctly.
~~
And for the last little surpise.
Overhaul has always used the provided existing outline of how the chapter index would look for both Trigun and TriMax, but this time we're doing something new and more exciting. Inspired by how the Japanese Omnibuses catalogue chapters, we've decided to keep it both minimalistic, but also with a big splash of color from amazing official art.
Here's the first look into the new Overhaul 2.0 indexes:
For the Japanese verison.
And the English version.
The design is still up for potential last second changes, but this will be the new groundwork for all future volumes.
~~
That's all for this update, next time will be after we begin the new uploads. Hope you enjoy it then!
SEE YOU GUYS NEXT MONTH!
#trigun#trigun maximum#trimax#trigun manga#manga#fan project#trigun overhaul#trigun ultimate#trigun ultimate overhaul#infodump#overhaul monthly update
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Trimax Thoughts Vol. 5 Pt. 3
Here we go again. (Gah I'm so behind sorry guys) More thoughts on Vash's no good, very bad mental health, this time focused on trauma symptoms and his uncharacteristic lack of foresight and planning when it comes to confronting Knives.
[ID: A panel from Trigun Maximum Volume 5. Vash is hunched over among the rubble. He is not drawn in extensive detail, being merely eyes, an open mouth, spiky hair and a mass of feather-like projections covering his whole body and culminating in a single large wing protruding from his back. End ID.]
Again, this is going to get a little heavy, and became quite long. You have been warned.
(Sorry, the image of fluffy Vash has very little to do with anything... other than the fact that he is actively having a breakdown in that scene I guess. I just really wanted to include that panel. Lol.)
To start with, at the very beginning of my read of the manga, I commented on how Vash clearly demonstrates some pretty textbook avoidant behaviours. Then I took note later on of Vash's concerning lack of self-regard, resulting in little thought being given to a future for himself after confronting Knives.
Well. It gets worse I'm afraid. 👍
Vash displays enough clear signs of trauma in the manga that I am convinced he actually meets criteria for a PTSD diagnosis (specifically surrounding July). I'm a student in this field, not a professional, but I'm going to loosely run over the trauma symptoms he displays. <-This is important for the point I am trying to make.
Category 1: Intrusive Memories
Flashbacks - Yeah, all throughout Volume 5 as the memories of what happened all come rushing back at once (with Hoppered and Meryl unfortunately caught up in his trauma-induced breakdown. rip you two I am so sorry)
Nightmares - A bit harder to say. There aren't nightmares about July it seems, on account of his having forgotten the event. He dreams about Rem frequently though, it can be assumed, only for her to be wrenched away from him shortly before waking. This was in Volume 1 of Trigun.
Severe Emotional and Physical Reactions to Reminders - Volume 2 of Trigun, shortly before Fifth Moon. Vash freezes in place when he spots the doctor, which clearly triggers some kind of faint recognition and sense of horror. He doesn't notice Knives approaching until he is right in front of him.
Category 2: Avoidance
Of Thinking/Talking About It - Vash notably doesn't actually question anything to do with July, which you would think he would, if he can't remember anything. He just knows that the city was destroyed and Knives was there - up until Fifth Moon, I don't think there was any doubt in his mind that it was Knives who was responsible. After this, he spends two years in hiding, out of fear of himself and a lack of desire to engage with reminders of his past.
Category 3: Negative Changes
Hopelessness - For a guy who wants people to have hope... he doesn't allot much to himself... :(
Memory Problems - The core issue before Vol. 5. Vash had no idea what happened in July. He even blocked out part of Fifth Moon.
Negative Self-Opinion - "I should never have been born." "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" :(
Difficulty Maintaining Close Relationships - Always leaving people without saying goodbye. Still rarely calls Meryl and Milly by their names. People have to chase after him if they want him around.
Detachment - His go-to when everything gets too much. See the Leonof fight for a good example.
Difficulty Experiencing Positive Emotions - "Ya always smiled all cheerfully, but it was so empty it hurts just lookin' at ya."
Category 4: Physical/Emotional Reactions
Always on Guard - He can't use his real name most of the time. He trains all the time; has to respond quickly to ever-present danger.
Self-Destructive Behaviour - ...it's Vash. :/
Irritability/Angry Outbursts/Aggression - Very much so. Anger is a driving motive and we see this flare up whenever Knives is so much as mentioned. He even gets uncharacteristically short with Meryl when she tries to stop him from confronting him, and Vash does not tend to be very rational or composed in situations where he is genuinely angry. <- I will be coming back to this point.
Overwhelming Guilt or Shame - ...again. It's Vash. :/
Other Complications that can Arise:
Depression (this should go without saying. he's fighting so hard to feel every scrap of fleeting joy he can)
Suicidal Thoughts and Actions (I went over this before. These have cropped up in almost every volume so far and I expect this to get much worse)
Eating Issues (This appears to be Stampede specific, but I thought I'd mention it anyways)
So, uh. I hope this is enough proof. He clearly does have severe trauma, and well, that's not really a surprise, considering what actually happened. Vash inadvertently killed an entire city's worth of people. Absorbed them, even. Deeply traumatic for someone who doesn't want to hurt anyone at all - but this is not the only part of July that was traumatic.
Let's go back to the aggression part of the response - the "fight" aspect that sometimes arises when put in stressful situations that reminds one of their trauma. See, Vash's anger is something we as readers see a lot in the story but that's because we primarily see major scenes where he is pushed to his limits. In all actuality, for those parts in between, he's a chill and friendly guy. Does he get irritated? Quite easily. Does he always have a bit of simmering resentment in him? Sure. But this is not the explosive kind of rage we see when he is confronted with Knives. Usually, Vash is more prone to introspective melancholy or bitterness than violent rage - for as much as we see it, the latter is actually rather uncommon.
So, too, is the way he "confronts" Knives. Vash is typically very in control of himself; he's confident with his skills, clever and adaptable, and generally speaking, very good at planning out his next moves. In a gunfight, for as much as he would prefer not to be wrapped up in it, he is in his element. Even when there is uncertainty, he still eventually takes decisive action. ...except where Knives is concerned.
[ID: Two screenshots from the Trigun manga. The first is from Volume 5 of Maximum. Vash aims his gun with a serious expression and says "I've finally caught up with you... Knives." Knives looks at him, taken aback. The second image is from Volume 2 of Trigun. Vash shouts as he raises his gun rapidly to aim at Knives, blurred with quick vertical lines to make the speed of the motion obvious. His expression is furious. Knives looks at him, part of his face shadowed, again, looking taken aback. End ID.]
...hello? Sir? Why are you just pointing your gun and like. Not doing anything? Like he keeps aiming his gun and then just... holding it there. Even Vash in Stampede fired on Knives' weapons. This guy, for all his rage, hasn't unleashed a single shot unless the situation forced him to. In fact, Vash's entire wording surrounding Knives and how he is going to stop him is also extremely vague. He says things like "settle the score" and "send him to hell", which, to me, initially implied killing him... but Vash has no issue using the word "kill", and he never actually says that about Knives. He says he's going to stop him, but fails to actually specify how. I cannot stress enough that this lack of foresight is actually deeply uncharacteristic of him.
But here's the thing.
[ID: Part of a panel from Trigun Volume 2. Vash's thoughts are set on a white background. They read "We... I... should never have been born." End ID.]
He switches his wording here. The subject of the sentence changes from "we" to "I". Even in his mind, he can't muster that kind of sentiment about his brother. He's angry with Knives, even hates him... but I strongly disbelieve he actually wants him dead. Knives is his brother, man. That still means something to him.
You might be wanting to pause me here and ask why I framed the confronting of Knives as an aggressive response due to trauma, as opposed to just vengeance/retribution for Rem and for July. Yeah, well, there's an interesting contrast to be made here. Look up at the two confrontation images again.
Before July, Vash is level-headed when confronting him; angry, but in control. After July, he is yelling and openly bitter and wrathful. There's even a difference in him looking for information on Knives and his associates. In July, he's just asking around. There's none of the darkness we see in the series proper. By contrast, his mood does a sharp turn after July whenever Knives is so much as mentioned. More than that, there's this, too.
[ID: Knives stands facing Vash so only the back of his head can be seen. His head is next to Vash's gun. Vash looks startled. A speech bubble shows two exclamation points. End ID.]
...Vash is... actually scared here. Knives is approaching him and he's frozen due to the feeling that something sickening happened, even though he's the one holding the gun. July was stressful and terrifying for Vash even before the angel arm went off, and dare I say, already traumatic.
Vash knew two things in that scene, and pretty much only two things:
His arm was transforming uncontrollably, something he had no clue prior to this it could even do.
Knives wanted him to "release" his power, which would "swallow" everything in the place they're in. Clearly Knives intended harm to others with whatever power lay dormant in Vash.
This is already a terrifying situation - body horror on top of the certainty that something horrible is about to happen if he loses control - and it shows. He is visibly panting and struggling with the exertion of trying to suppress it, and Knives is not helping in the slightest by asking him piercing questions like he is, taking advantage of Vash's vulnerability here to make him tip over the edge and somehow admit that it was all a lie and deep down he feels the same as Knives. Now, notably Vash doesn't deny occasionally feeling hatred for humanity - he just tells Knives to "stop it". But Knives, instead, doubles down with his questioning.
This is not the only time in this scene Vash has tried to get Knives to stop. Knives does not stop at Vash's distress. Vash tells him to stop, he doesn't. Vash points his gun at him (again, he doesn't fire), and Knives still does not stop. In a last ditch attempt to reason, Vash somehow psychically transmits the faces and feelings he has towards all the people who were kind to him - you can see some of the residents of July, Ship 3's Luida, Doc, Brad and Jessica, and probably others he's met on his travels. Knives loses it and shoves him on to the ground.
I think Vash was well within his right to take self-defensive action here - and indeed, I really think that's what happened when he fired the angel arm at Knives.
Look, I really like it when intentional mistakes are made and characters have to deal with the consequences, and I think there are scenes in which this can apply to Vash (namely, I can think of more than a few drawbacks to his passivity in early Trimax, and his conflict with Wolfwood holds a lot of complexity on both sides)... but I have to be real honest with you, I don't think this is one of those times. I disbelieve this was a fully conscious choice on Vash's part.
For one, we've established Vash does not actually want Knives dead. Second... I may just be reading into this too much, but again, there's something in the way the eyes are drawn.
[ID: A set of panels from Trigun Maximum Volume 5. Knives is drawn with an intense expression; he looks confident, but there is a "thump" sound. Knives looks down, brows furrowed and sweating, to see the barrel of Vash's angel arm pointed at his chest. In the last panel, a gap between Knives' fingers reveals one of Vash's eyes, blank and devoid of iris or pupil. End ID.]
I'd initially thought the blank eye thing had to do with the release of Vash's power from the angel arm, but that appears to not be the case. It doesn't coincide with the charging of the arm - the arm is active and charged past the point of no return here with Vash's iris and pupil still visible during Fifth Moon, and we see Vash's eyes blank well before the angel arm forms in Volume 5, when he is undergoing intense flashbacks to the destruction of July. Vash's eyes even go blank when his powers are not active at all - again, during the start of his flashbacks.
[ID: A set of screenshots from the Trigun manga. The first is from Trigun Volume 2. Vash's eye, with iris and pupil and a welling tear, can be seen between Knives' fingers, as Knives screams "Destroy them all! Vaaash!". The second is from Trigun Maximum Volume 5, where Vash is hunched over on the ground as his body sprouts feathers and lines appear on his face. He is in clear distress and his eyes are blank. The third is from Maximum Volume 4. Vash screams and throws his head back. A close up of his eye shows it is blank, welling with tears. End ID.]
I am about 80% confident, give or take, that the blank eye thing pertains to Vash's mental state - as in, how mentally present he is versus him being out of control and checked out of reality. He needs to be snapped out of it - thoughts of Meryl and how she needed help, Elendira's intervention... but there was nothing to snap Vash out of his panic and that flood of raw emotion during July. It was a spur of the moment automatic response - the angel arm is a gun, Vash is very confident with a gun to the point its basically instinct, he's being pinned and trapped and something he doesn't understand and can't control is happening to his own body, people might be about to get hurt - he wanted it to stop.
Unfortunately, the worst possible consequences were a direct result of his desperation. Vash's automatic attempt at self-defense took out an entire city and swallowed all the people within it.
I do think that if it was self-defense over an active choice, the outcome would be pretty much the same and doesn't weaken the scene. For one, this would mark pretty much the only time we see Vash act in close to pure self-defense. He has such a disregard for his own safety, it's incredibly heartbreaking to think that the one time he actually did try to defend himself, it resulted in such a horrible tragedy. It might explain why, after remembering bits and pieces from Fifth Moon onwards, he becomes even less compassionate with himself and even more prone to just... taking the pain. Second, the effect is the same as if Vash chose to fire the arm consciously, because due to Vash's terrible sense of self-worth, self-defense is not a reasonable excuse to him - even though it was a traumatic experience for him, even though he would likely understand someone else in his position, he is going to treat himself as though the blame lies solely on him, regardless of the automaticity of the action itself. Vash blames himself and whether or not the reader determines his actions to have been automatic or conscious, he is going to treat himself the same either way. He is going to forever carry that guilt with him no matter what the intent behind the arm's firing initially was.
With the context of July now, I don't think I can believe that his lack of willingness to kill is purely Rem's influence anymore. I think Vash truly, honestly, does not want to harm or kill anyone; his abhorring of (in his eyes) unnecessary violence is genuine. (This does not mean he never gets angry or hates people - we know he can and does!) But it's like there's a middle step between Vash's anger and Vash getting close to lethally pulling the trigger, and that middle step is "stop it".
Stop doing this. Stop hurting people.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
When faced with someone who wants to hurt others, who actively causes harm and won't listen to reason, Vash becomes dangerously hyper-focused. The closer that person is associated to Knives, the less control he has over his own anger, and the more he goes on the warpath. The problem is though, that Vash has made a promise to Rem, sure, but also he really doesn't want to hurt people, but then he also wants it to stop, and when your options are limited, sometimes the fastest and most effective way to make it stop is... to just kill the person. And I strongly believe this is why, in the heat of the moment, his usual calculated actions become less well thought out and almost vague, because... well... he's fighting with conflicting pieces of himself. His morality and his bleeding heart make him want to spare people, but that explosive aggression that is primarily a trauma symptom (!!!) is demanding he take immediate action to just make it stop.
That's really what it boils down to. All that aggression and emotion comes bubbling out of him, because he's just so tired... and because that's... well. Trauma.
(Yes, I will comment later on how Knives' anger is just as much a trauma response, but I'd like to have a little more info on him before I analyze too much on that front. Kind of fascinating how their go-to reaction is anger for the both of them, but put towards wildly different goals. These twins can fit so much mental illness in them.)
#i don't know if this makes sense anymore. just take it lol#anyways you ever feel sad? i definitely felt completely normal and not at all that way when writing this (sarcasm)#trigun#trimax#trigun meta#vash the stampede#trigunbookclub#call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective.#storyrambles
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starting to think that Sensei just doesnt have a name.
#speculation nation#ive been scanning thru chapters where he shows up in early trimax#and ive only seen him referred to as Sensei#by both Vash and Brad#even the list of floating ship residents just has him listed as Sensei#he doesnt even have a WIKI. wtf is wrong with this man#shaking this scrawny lil gramps by the collar like TELL ME YOUR NAME!!!#ok it's rly nice to see old stuff but it makes me emotional bc seeing wolfwood makes me emotional#GAH i should stop spending so much time researching little details like this#the one bad thing about having a time travel au is i have to know shit from the entire fucking manga#which i know general events but some parts of it i spent reading in a haze#so ive forgotten a lot. ESPECIALLY names.#i will be conducting a reread. i was planning on it anyways#but it will be Essential for the purposes of this fic. im gonna have to have a really solid grip on the timeline & events#i am starting a real undertaking i guess. but im kinda excited#i wanna make this fic something special. and that includes incessantly researching minor details that really are not important#bc it's my attention for details that really sets my writing apart i think. at least i'd like to think so.#anyways gramps i GUESS ur gettin put into this as just Sensei. bitch.
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