#only in the past
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I think its actually crazy how humans can adapt to almost all things, let it be a new environment or a loss of limbs.
But i also think anxiety numbs the more you live, because you get more experience as you live. Anxiety is simply a defensive mechanism driven by fear, but the more you interact with “danger”, the more your brain doubts the need of anxiety. I remember when i was 11 i freaked out when i realized when i needed to use an atm, but i didn’t know where it is, so i needed to ask the security guard at the supermarket. I think i was contemplating for like an hour before i actually asked him.
But now i can even speak to my classmates! Not like daily or to call them, but i can keep a small talk.
Going back to adapting, thats also why i like hip hop so much. Rappers have their lives at risk every single day, yet they still can give up their time for making music and talking about their lives.
First up, awesome that you've improved in that area!
And second, yeah, that makes sense. My therapist once said it was like taking drugs; in the beginning, you need less of it to feel all the effects. Then, as your body and mind gets used to it, the levels that affected you before become less effective, so it starts ramping up the doses of anxiety-inducing hormones to get the same effect.
I feel that's true to an extent. I didn't stray out of my comfort zone, true, but as time went on the comfort zone itself grew smaller and smaller until it was pretty much just my bed. I don't know what would have happened if it went so far as to the point where the only way to escape the distress was by sleeping. If Mom didn't move me when she did, and I continued to ignore Kel (who never gave up on knocking on my door), I don't know if I'd still be here. That should scare me more than it does now. More than that, my friends would still be splintered and I wouldn't have been able to stop something even worse happening, and that's the part that hurts me most. That I locked myself up to punish myself and ensure nothing bad ever happened to them again, and in the process almost let lightning strike twice.
I should have remembered that the idea that lightning only strikes a place once, even if you remove the lightning rod from the location, is a myth.
(Thursday 7th September, 2000, 7:09 PM)
#omori#ask sunny from omori#omori sunny#sunny omori#ask answered#rolzyguy#tw: implied suicidal thoughts#only in the past
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Chapter 32 of AWY, featuring the first of many tough conversations.
#silmarillion#maedhros#fingon#russingon#fanfic#silm au#modern au#melkor#only in the past#traumatic recollections#non con#discussions of#guilty longings#finno beating himself up on the inside#they both need a hug#they both need therapy
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Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!
(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)
#HEALED FIDDLEFORD HAS ME BOUNCING OFF THE FUCKING WALLS!!!!!!! GIVE THE MAN A BRIGHT HAPPY FUTURE!!! FUCK!!!!!#I don't know how i'm coming off right now#when i say that i've been super manic about them for the past week I really mean it#guys Idk but I think I might be fiddlestans number one fan#I liked this pairing before book of bill and after reading it it only solidified things#IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A CRACK SHIP TO ME!!!!!!!!#fiddlestan#gravity falls#anyway this is supposed to be them the next summer#stan is working the shack to tutor soos for tourist season#fiddleford has changed while the twins were on the stan o war#STAN DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL AT FIRST and they have a lot of shit to work through from their past before they can start making out dksjds#sketchbook#traditional art#pencil drawing#traditional drawing#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls fanart
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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Happy September everybody, NaNoWriMo has decided to go "no YOU'RE the baddies" because no one likes their AI-ridden sponsor, lmao. In other news, multiple authors are suing OpenAI for copyright infringement.
#start your own write a novel a month today#really coming in swinging for that one guy who copies and pastes nonsense every year to win a meaningless internet contest lmao#only now ChatGPT can write that nonsense for them!
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Enough waiting. I crave blood.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#bg3 lae'zel#lae'zel#lae'zel of k'liir#the only thing that's been keeping me sane these past few weeks is#drawing women covered in blood
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"it's not queer fiction unless the queerness is explicitly declared in the text according to currently accepted terminology and in a way that meets the approval of the entire audience" I mean follow your heart I guess but I trust myself as a queer person to recognise queer themes
#if you tag this post “q slur” that's an instant block fyi#fynn posts#this is only a subtweet insofar as I am subtweeting absolutely all fandoms past present and future
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I think the new memories that are being made come to the future stans in their dreams
#they can sort of communicate through them too#but it’s hit or miss what sticks like real memories or dreams#I have had people theorise that the little stans aren’t from the past but from a different dimension that’s only very slightly different#which I also love I think that’s so cool#my art#gravity falls#twins in time au#Stanford pines#ford pines#Stan pines#Stanley pines
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archivist be upon ye
#relistening to tma again#i think the last time i’ve drawn anything related to it was like may 2020#god it’s been a while#have been listening to the magnus protocol and my god it’s so good#but heres good old jonathan as a treat#the interest has been in deep slumber for the past 4/5 years only periodically coming back to life#i’m very normal about this podcast actually#on other note i also started a taz balance relisten#what’s up with me and revisiting my middle school fixations lately#anyways#if you’re still reading these tags i’m impressed i could never with my abysmal attention span#tma#the magnus archives#the magnus pod#jonathan sims#the archivist#tma jon#fanart#my art#digital art#illustration#doodle
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dead man walking
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#not me triple counting that i drew all 20 fingers gHJFHGH#in the sketch i only had 18 so that tells u all u need to know about my ability to count past 5#so much RED in this i feel so at home#challenges self one (1) time to not use red in a piece n IMMEDIATELY drowns the next one in it afterwards#listen . listen ok if tbhk can do it so can i .#is yuuji's character colour technically orange ???? lmao well not with me its not slaps red on that boy#i love u yuuji sorry i keep drawing u sad and/or cannibalistic :(
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It wasn’t supposed to be a secret.
If you died while with the league, you will no longer be acknowledged to have existed, especially if you died during a mission. A disappointment will not be remembered.
The bats and birds don’t like speaking about the people they have lost, so they don’t. If someone ask about the dead, they will tell the person they don’t talk about that.
So how was Damian supposed to know that he should have told his father about his dead brother?
#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny and damian are siblings#demon twins#or#older brother Danny#a dead brother#who is not as dead as everyone was led to believe#but that's not the main focus right now#Bruce is angry at Damian for not telling him about his other son#Damian is rightfully confused#all his life the dead were not to be acknowledged#if you died you might as well have never existed at all#so Bruce has only himself to blame#(and obviously the maternal side of Damian's family tree)#especially if he dismissed Damian's questions about his parents in the past#but how did they come to know about Danny?#good question!#maybe a summoning#planned by the JL or a cult thing#or he is a new JLD member#Batfam on a road trip and they happen to stop in AP#Danny goes to college in Gotham and people who want PHDs get monitored#take your pick#there are a lot of possibilities#CreatureWrites
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thinking about a Damian who was raised his entire life hearing how much he looks like his Father, how he's the blood son, how he's better than any other child Bruce Wayne has taken in, starting to buy into it like a kid does, only to hit puberty and turn out looking like 80% Talia.
#you know how some kids look like one parent until adulthood?#that's what i hc for damian#he looks like bruce until puberty#as an adult he looks like talia#bruce wayne#batman#damian wayne#talia al ghul#dc#batfamily#thoughts#something something social currency but only within the batfamily#it's a sore subject#and they roll their eyes when damian says dumb shit like this#because they know ra's and talia fed it to him since infancy#but then he grows up and slowly stops saying it#and they have to wonder if damian is disappointed#or if he's grown past caring#maybe this is a wild hc idk#i'm just rambling in between meetings#i KNOW he looks like bruce in canon as an adult#but like#i want him to be 5'8 and look like talia#I find it such a satisfying book end to the emphasis placed on him as the blood son#and I think he deserves to be more than just a bruce clone you know#even if the transition stings
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"Colombia’s congress has voted to change a law that allowed minors to get married with parental consent.
The proposal would make the minimum age for marriage 18, and seeks to protect the rights and development opportunities for minors. It still must be signed into law by President Gustavo Petro.
Currently, the country’s civil code allows person as young as 14 years old to get married with parental consent.
The initial proposal to reform the law – presented in 2023 – used the slogan “they’re girls, not wives” and aimed to prevent young girls from being forced to marry, to be subject to different forms of violence and to miss out on education and development opportunities.
“Minors are not sexual objects, they’re girls,” congresswoman Clara López Obregón said in a statement after the proposal was greenlit.
Child marriage remains a widespread practice worldwide and affects around 12 million girls per year, according to the UN’s agency for children, UNICEF.
But there’s been a global drop in child marriages over the past few years, according to the agency’s statistics. “Ten years ago, one in four young women aged 20 to 24 was married as a child. Today that number has fallen to one in five,” UNICEF said.
In Latin America, poverty is the main factor leading to minors getting married, according to UNICEF."
#united states do this challenge#because as a reminder the united states ALSO has child marriage in a great many states#for all that child marriage is typically thought of as only a problem in developing (conveniently nonwhite) countries#although there has been a really big drop in child marriage in the united states in the past two decades#much bigger than the global drop#so there's that at least#feminism#child marriage#children's rights#children#colombia#south america#cw child abuse#cw csa#tagging those to be safe
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Doing this bc I’m scared to and won’t on my own
if this gets 5k notes by October 20th, I will tell my dad about my eating disorder and get help to recover + therapist
Rules:
No spamming
5 notes per person including likes
if either one of those is broken, I’m reducing the time limit, basically making it less likely to hit the goal on time
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD PLEASE STOP SPAMMING
tagging is okay
Might delete later(sorry!) because I’m scarrredddd, I don’t wanna tell my dad >:l
#Basically I’ve been trying for the past two weeks to recover on my own without having to tell anyone about it and bro I just cant#Jsbsjdhd#It will only be a temporary recovery though heads up#Because I’m not going to get away with this eating disorder for much longer#I’m going to get found out so this is just temporary until I’m an adult#Once I’m an adult I won’t have to worry about getting caught 😌#Ahhh I’ve had this disorder for like a year now I’m sick of it 😭#Okay maybe not temporary#Actually I wouldn’t mind recovering for good actually this sucks#Notes game#note game
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Nice try Bioware, but I know the state of Southern Thedas better than you do.
First off, it matters if the Hero of Ferelden is alive or not. When the First Warden recalled all wardens, our hero knew that was a bad call and refused, finally splitting off from Weisshaupt after years of mismanagement and taking scores of wardens with them. Their presence and leadership makes all the difference, rallying southern Thedas once more against the blight. If you have only an Orlesian Warden Commander in Amaranthine they’re less inspiring, but as long as you’ve done Awakening they are a boon nonetheless. There is someone to lead the fight against the darkspawn while other focus on the Venatori.
If you 100% completed Awakenings and also Soldier’s Peak, the Ferelden wardens have never been so prepared. They’re organized, they’re outfitted and they’ve been ready for this for years. Also, if you allied with the Architect then you have scores of strange research to give you an edge.
If Merrill completed her Eluvian then she moves south once again and joins the effort. She’s managed to cleanse the blight before and she’s ready to try it again. And her knowledge of the crossroads gives the south an edge on their movement and supply lines. If Hawke’s sibling is a Warden they accompanied her.
If the Inquisitor let Briala have power in any way, the Dales become the leaders in the war against the Venatori, forming a formidable alliance with Ferelden, Orzammar and the Marches, the likes of which have never been seen. And if you completed Jaws of Hakkon then their alliances with the Avvar and Chasind are stronger than ever.
Of course, if the Inquisitor kept the Wardens around after Here Lies the Abyss then their numbers are bolstered. It may cost Wiesshaupt later, but that’s Rooks problem. And if you completed the Descent, then the Inquisitor and Warden had a much better idea of what was coming and spent ten years getting ready.
They will not be broken.
They will weather this storm.
#the warden commander will end the schism when the first warden apologizes and NO SOONER#im imagining this like me3's galactic readiness score. HoF multiplies the score by a lot. the orlesian commander only by like 2#there are so many other things to fit here as little boosts too#war table missions. red jenny stuff. watch towers in the hinterlands. allying with mages instead of conscripting#everyone from past games is either in the north helping rook or south helpin the warden. the sky's the limit follow your heart#a better age of dragons#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#says Ser
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i can't wait to be 30+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 40+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 50+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 60+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 70+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 80+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 90+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to look back on my life and know that i loved things deeply and passionately and was inspired to create and was part of communities with incredible people from all over the world brought together by the stories that touched us
#and still be mad at shithead executives for unfairly cancelling my pirate show#also imagine what my ao3 word count will be like. gonna be writing my little fics in the nursing home#sometimes when i get frustrated over my writing i have to remember that i've only been doing it for a little over a year#and not in my native language#there is still so much time and so much to learn and try and discover and explore and i am EXCITED#there is something so ancient and beautiful about humans being brought together by stories#storytelling is what humans have always done and will always do and what will always connect us#to our past to the future to each other#sorry for the 1 am ramblings#fandom#🐭📓
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