#only courage

[flo55i]

Lucky Thirteen

(Maxiel drabble. 600 words.)

It’s not a conscious decision to run up to the altar and grab the bouquet out of the bride’s hands. Certainly not a popular one either with the sound of the screams of the other guests resonating throughout the church. And definitely not a sober one— Daniel’s been knocking back the expensive wine like cordial since he got here.

But there’s no doubt that it’s him up there trying to wrestle the once perfectly arranged bunch of pink roses out of Kellie’s hands. It’s him who is trying not to let the lace of her floor length veil get the better of the rubber soles of his shoes or his rage as he fights for something more everlasting and meaningful than those flowers. 

Daniel was fine up until that point— everything was fine. Scotty had made them sit at the back but gave him his hand to squeeze if he felt like it, even a coat sleeve to wipe his nose on. The music was beautiful and classical and so far from what Daniel would have picked that he could almost picture himself anywhere else right now.

And even when Max made his way down the aisle, Daniel had sent him the most sincere smile he could muster that didn’t make him look like the pathetic loser he is with a flask of whiskey stuffed into his jacket pocket. He had even managed to keep his mouth shut during the whole, “speak now or forever hold your peace” thing, biting on his tongue and concentrating on the cracks in the stained glass windows instead of the sight of the best man he’s ever known, in the best suit he’ll ever wear, walking away from him again. 

But when the bride was saying her vows, talking about how lucky they are to have found each other and to then be getting married on this lucky day of all days, Friday the thirteenth– that. That was when  Daniel lost the careful hold he had over his emotions. The threshold Michael refused to believe was even there in the first place when he turned down the invitation to come as Daniel’s plus one to Max’s wedding fearing an ‘incident’ such as this.

Daniel will happily take the ‘I told you so’ for the satisfaction of seeing that smug bitch’s mascara running down her face as he finally tears the dozen or so stems of roses free from her evil clutches. 

Thirteen was their number— one and three, him and Max.  The only time they got to stand side by side beside one another anywhere other than on the grid. The only other place they actually had a relationship at all. Kellie had already taken enough— taken Max, she didn’t need everything else too. 

There are hands on his lapels. Daniel doesn’t know exactly whose they are but there is the distinct smell of cologne and Max and a warmth that was once shared between them and then it all gets a bit fuzzy from there— hands pulling, voices shouting. Both their dreams of happily ever after going up in a cloud of smoke and silk organza as a candle he knocks over sets fire to the bottom of Kellie’s dress.

The next thing Daniel sees is the sight of Nelson Pique’s fist coming towards his face and he goes down hard. But it’s ok though. He’s lying down on the altar, on the remains of his broken heart and at least know he knows he can’t fall any further from down here. Knuckles hurting just as much as the rest of him, it’s a small comfort to know before he passes out that at least Lewis will still be proud of him.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[defstanis]

my entries for @poxxxum 's erisoltober! these are late but i still wanted to take part in the event. short descriptions under the cut

Week 1: based on that iconic tAtU pic Week 2: ghost eridan and paranormal investigator sollux (he gets dragged by aradia) Week 3: something like an Akira AU Week 4: had no idea for monster movie so i put them in a saw trap Week 5: halloween party!!! (i got lazy)

[egophiliac]

So I was doing some math, and I THINK Skully is almost as tall as Malleus without his horns

I think the main reference to his height is Epel being surprised they're the same age because he's taller than Sebek, yes? which I find interesting, considering Jade and Malleus -- two of the tallest guys in the main cast -- are also there. and, since I've never been one to not think waaaay too much about the absolute stupidest minutiae about fictional characters, I see two possibilities:

one is that Epel is extremely good at eyeballing heights (I actually do feel like he could be? like. I'd believe he can estimate someone's height fairly accurately by calculating based on the life stages of an apple tree, or how many apples tall they are, or something else apple-related like that.) and Scully does, perhaps, fall into that narrow margin between Sebek and Jade in height.

OR two, out of the three certified Tall Guys there, Sebek is Epel's main frame of reference because he's the only one he's had any real interaction with for, let's be fair, pretty obvious reasons.

SO in conclusion, we still have no concrete answers and will probably have to wait until next year when we get his card profile, alas alas. 😔

[remxedmoon]

save me bonnie isat… bonnie isat… save me…

woah what!!! isat fanart with color??? preposterous. greyscaled versions under the cut!! (and also the last doodle without the crusty old drawing next to it!! incase you want to use it for anything)

anyways. uh. scampers away like a little rat

[demigods-posts]

now is a great time to remind all of us of how noble a hero percy jackson is. because he refused to harm the demigods who fought beside luke. as much as he hated the fighting them, he understood why the were fighting. he recognized the gods failed them too. and to not acknowledge that in the aftermath of the war would be disingenuous to the lives lost on either side. and not only that. but he was the only demigod brave enough to tell gods how it is when they offered him immortality. he told the gods to their face that their faults in leadership and parenthood are what lead to their near demise. that they must swallow their pride and nurture the things they create, or the threat of a revolt will follow them. and his ass used his gods-given wish to make them promise to give their children a fair chance at a better life. no one was doing it like him. happy birthday, man.

[the-rainbow-of-doom]

(This post was sponsored by a 1+ hour commute)

[spaltedrat]

mornings

[systarkitty]

hapy 2014 tumblr!!!!!! ^_^_^_^_^

[puppyeared]

Alex and my farmer Cosmo (he/him)

[theceaselessidiot]

Eloise Bridgerton being an absolute mood:

and Cressida's reaction of 'this girl is so weird, but I'm into it??? Wait am I into this??'':

[chelledoggo]

🎶 somebody find the door 🎶

🎶 who's gonna find the door? 🎶

🎶 Pomni the Cowardly Clown 🎶

🎶 Pomni the Cowardly Clown 🎶

[dilutedbeanibeans]

just two lesbians on a date nothing to see here

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Jacob: Alright, what the fuck is going on? None of this makes any sense. Penny: Someone must be pranking us. Levi: [scoffs] Pretty elaborate prank, Penny.

Robin: I don’t think anyone’s messing with us. Penny: Don’t be stupid, of course they are! Jacob: Yeah, I don’t know-.. I’m tempted to side with Penny.

[Robin regretted his words as various murmurs of agreement echoed around him-.. though Levi remained silent, squinting at his friend] Levi: What do you know that we don’t?

Robin: Nothing! I just-… Levi: Naah, you’re barely ever wrong, it’s impossible to freak you out and you always seem to know what’s going on before everyone else-.. it’s kinda sus.

[Robin’s cheeks flushed as multiple stares and another chorus of agreement assaulted him] Robin: What if we’re supposed to be here-.. what if I’m supposed to be here? Penny: What makes you so special?

Robin: I can feel what you feel-.. what any of you feel, and uh-.. I can read minds too, see people’s memories n’ stuff. Penny: [laughs] Okay, sure-.. can you shoot lasers from your eyes as well?

Aster: Woah, Robin-.. those notes! [Robin nodded fervently, glad that Aster had somehow managed to connect the dots] Robin: I don’t know for sure, but I’m worried Alex might be here too…

Levi: Oh, shit. Penny: Who the fuck is Alex? Jacob: Robin’s pen pal.

Penny: Okay, whatever-.. I’m all for finding your friend if she’s here, but this kinda shit isn’t real. I know we’re all freaked out n’ stuff but mind readers and monsters don’t exist! Tess: Whatever does or doesn’t exist, we need to find a way out…

[echoes-of-courage]

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