#online meat market
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regardless of what mediums you wanna use how you wanna draw ever heres what you need to do
-if youre a cartoonist be very specific with anatomy studies. if youre gonna stick to really stylized cartoony shit then keep anatomy studying to just basic forms, joints etc and focus on figure drawing. id reccomend 'figure drawing methods for artists' but for fucks sake just go on youtube, watch a couple videos they all say the same thing anyways. as long as you're not getting blatantly incorrect info from a guy that doesn't actually know how things work and cuts corners. it's better to sweat and bleed learning how to draw basic forms like the torso and pelvis than do what i did (go through as many shortcut pinterest guides as possible, develop a flawed and stiff understanding of anatomy, use it as a crutch) .
but yeah figure drawing is useful because learning how to set characters up in different poses and composition are useful. for every cartoonist!
-2... i ran out of points to make. Think about artists you like, you don't even have to make long rambly analyses , just jot down why you like their art and what appeals about them to you. anything from that vintage mustang poster you saw the other day, to a 'fine art' artist you'd see in a museum to your favorite blog
3: study practically.
read artbooks, look at tutorials online, watch youtube tutorials from a variety of sources: but remember, regular practice is the goal here. don't get too hooked on watching tutorials or studying and just go outside and draw a little. try and apply those skills bit by bit.
4 here are my (amateur guy that draws online and isn't going to art school)'s random advice bits
supplies i think are a godsend no matter what: one really good pencil. doesn't matter what kind it is. i got fancy ones but in all honesty light or dark you just need one that feels comfortable to write and draw with. practice those artist grips! consciously think about lines: do i want thick or thin lines? and what can I do to change it? Are my lines unsteady? and am I unhappy with that? sure, then try a different grip, or see if a thicker, more bulky pencil works! but hey, i'm just some guy on the internet telling you to do things.
ironically, even as I wax poetic about how fun it is to collect wood/mechanical pencils, my favorite thing to draw with is a #2 pencil.
I could go on and on about art supplies and practical applications but all I can say is if you really like something, splurge on it and if you're not sure about it get cheap ones. It's not really about the subtle intricacies of each medium but if you even like it in the first place. Cheap vs expensive watercolors aren't gonna matter if you don't LIKE using watercolors.
..that being said I think color pencils are the exception to this as each brand varies in quality regardless of price.
here are some artbook reccomendations to finish off this jumbled, disjointed and haphazardly written post
-Sketching People by Lynne Chapman: I tend to lean towards the more practical when it comes to any advice. something that really boils down the way you do something and why to its core. This book is really good for that.
-Figure Drawing Methods for Artists by Peter Boerboom and Tim Proetel: it's a really fun exercise book.
-Space Drawing and Perspective by Superani: once again, practical, well translated , and really fun to do. Don't get superani's anatomy book though it's racist and pervy as fuck
-and so many more that I can't even list here. Just go to your local library and open up one of these babies, grab a sheet of paper, and just jot anything down that seems interesting to you. Capiche?
#im on fever medication right now because I am sadly once again sick so this might be incoherent#but this post is really just my contribution to the discourse around instagrammable marketable clean and palatable art and#expensive art supplies and confusion and#just in general a lot of online spaces have made artists feel like their art has to be super palatable all the time#so a lot of people forgo learning the bones and joints and MEAT of art#ie structure and foundational skills#in favor of getting a cleaner product out faster#so this is just kind of me ranting on my lawn chair about how I THINK is the right way to do it and git gud faster#dont rb#fish talks
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The United States halal food market size reached USD 668.7 Billion in 2024. Looking forward, IMARC Group expects the market to reach USD 1,538.5 Billion by 2033, exhibiting a growth rate (CAGR) of 9.7% during 2025-2033.
#United States Halal Food Market Report by Product (Meat#Poultry and Seafood#Fruits and Vegetables#Dairy Products#Cereals and Grains#Oil#Fats and Waxes#Confectionery#and Others)#Distribution Channel (Traditional Retailers#Supermarkets and Hypermarkets#Online#and Region 2025-2033
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She knows what she wants: Cock.
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India Online Meat Delivery Market Growth, Trends, Report 2023-2030
BlueWeave Consulting, a leading strategic consulting and market research firm, in its recent study, estimated India Online Meat Delivery Market size by value at USD 42.18 million in 2023. During the forecast period between 2024 and 2030, BlueWeave expects India Online Meat Delivery Market size to expand at a CAGR of 16.3% reaching a value of USD 119.36 million by 2030. The Online Meat Delivery Market in India is propelled by increased smartphone affordability and internet usage. Companies are expanding beyond metropolitan areas to smaller towns and cities, with delivery-only kitchens boosting growth in tier-2 and tier-3 regions. Enhanced marketing strategies, including subscriptions and discounts, are attracting more customers. Millennials, who prioritize convenience, time saving, and sustainability, are a key demographic. The market also benefits from ethical food sourcing partnerships with local farms. The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated the shift to online shopping, and the trend is expected to continue due to ongoing consumer preferences for convenience, sustainability, and ethical choices.
South India Leads India Online Meat Market
South India's high demand for fresh meat and robust infrastructure, particularly in cities like Bengaluru and Hyderabad, drive this surge. Startups, like Licious and EasyMeat, are expanding their services and increasing order volumes. The region's dominance is further supported by significant smartphone penetration, improved internet access, and the rise of delivery-only kitchens in tier-2 and tier-3 cities. For instance, ZappFresh acquired Bengaluru-based Dr. Meat to expand its footprint in South India.
Sample Request @ https://www.blueweaveconsulting.com/report/india-online-meat-delivery-market/report-sample
Impact of Escalating Geopolitical Tensions on India Online Meat Delivery Market
India Online Meat Delivery Market may face significant challenges from intensifying geopolitical tensions across the world. Trade disruptions and import restrictions could disrupt the meat product supply chain, leading to higher costs and limited availability. Increased regulatory scrutiny and changes might further complicate cross-border logistics. These uncertainties have the potential to destabilize the market, diminish consumer confidence, and inflate prices. As a result, geopolitical issues could impede the growth of India's online meat delivery sector by affecting supply chain efficiency and altering market dynamics.
Competitive Landscape
India Online Meat Delivery Market is fragmented, with numerous players serving the market. The key players dominating India Online Meat Delivery Market include Licious, FreshToHome, Zappfresh, BigBasket, Meatigo, TenderCuts, EasyMeat, Freshtohome, Meatwale, and Captain Fresh. The key marketing strategies adopted by the players are facility expansion, product diversification, alliances, collaborations, partnerships, and acquisitions to expand their customer reach and gain a competitive edge in the overall market.
Contact Us:
BlueWeave Consulting & Research Pvt. Ltd
+1 866 658 6826 | +1 425 320 4776 | +44 1865 60 0662
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I'm trying to make a good pot roast in my crockpot, but after I take it out it gets dry. It's on "low" (whatever that means) for 8 hours. I've tried searing it before and still dry. It's submerged in plain water with some herbs and spices for that time. Am I over/undercooking it? It's a cut with low fat %, is that why?
I love you. I think you learned how to make pot roast from someone on Opposite Day, or perhaps April 1st. The only thing you got right is 'low heat for 8 hours'.
Choose a fatty cut of tough meat. Look for lots of fat marbling on a Chuck roast or Shoulder roast. Tough meat has a ton of flavor, and the fat keeps the meat from drying out. The long cook time on low heat, plus acids will make 'tough' meat into a pull-apart, melt-in-your-mouth glory.
Make sure the meat is completely thawed, NOT frozen.
Plain water and nothing else except herbs/spices is.... not what I'd do. A lot of flavor can come into the broth when you add whole carrots (minus the carrot top!) and quartered onions in there. I'm a fan of adding some big chunks of pumpkin or butternut squash and chunks of turnip as well.
I think using red wine for part of the liquid base, and adding a hearty helping of worcestershire sauce will also help the flavor and making the meat 'melty.' The acid and alcohol will draw more, and different flavors from the meat and vegetables that water alone cannot do. Makes it richer.
For my very best pot roast recipe, which had my wedding guests fuckin' clamoring to get the recipe; I cheat. I'm not ashamed of that fact. For the richest, most face-punchingly meaty tasting broth, go to an asian market (or online) and find a mushroom hot pot soup base. It'll be a thick liquid inside a bag, which you then dilute with water. Use THAT as the liquid base (remember to dilute it!), and add your wine and wocestershire sauce to it, along with those herbs & spices. Your whole face will be blown off with flavor. It's the best.
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dating the love and deepspace boys | domestic moments
featuring: rafayel, xavier, and zayne x gn!reader
(´• ω •`) ♡ modern au! can you guys tell raf is my favorite..?
rafayel
a year younger than you. lies to everyone (including you) that he’s actually two years your senior. you only found out he was younger than you when you met his parents, who have his birth certificate framed.
hates cats. despises them. they fill him with rage (fear). says he’s allergic (he’s lying).
“oh shit raf, this sucks! i guess you can’t move in with me.. i have cats”
“...you have cats?”
“yeah. 3.”
“i’m not allergic. i can move in tonight.”
chronically online. minoring in marine biology and majoring in annoying you. texts you over 200 times a day and if you don’t respond, he’s faking a horrible chronic illness. again. it’s amnesia on wednesdays, appendicitis on thursdays, chronic migraines on fridays… etc..
he has 2 followers on his private twitter. you and thomas.
over 700k followers on instagram for some reason? he sells paintings on depop (he says it's depop but you’re convinced he sells them for heinous prices on the black market)
cooks on occasion? has an apron that says kiss me im irish (he's not irish?) made you a tuna cupcake once??
pescatarian. not in the vegan/vegetarian way where he refuses to eat red meat but because he’s absolutely feral over fish. (is this cannibalism? he says its not)
lives in a 2 bedroom apartment with you but doesn’t use his bedroom. says your bed is comfier. turned his bedroom into a painting studio (IT’S for the black market you say!!) and sleeps with you.
“raf,” you sigh. “don’t you have.. homework or something?”
he sits between your legs, back against your chest as he scrolls through his phone.
“yeah,” he says. you flick the back of his head because you know he’s smirking. “it’s called assignment: you. due in two minutes.”
with his free hand, he reaches back mindlessly to grab yours. you sigh, fingers intertwining with his, a reflex as he leans his head back. his eyes meet yours and you can’t help but laugh.
“well?” you ask, brushing his hair out of his eyes as he squeezes your hand. “what are the assignment details?”
he chews on the bottom of his lip as he thinks, humming while his eyes wander across your face. he swings your interlocked hands in circles. it’s raining outside, the heater is on, and rafayel is warm like hot chocolate.
“what?” he says, his cheeks a tinge pink. “you’re looking at me like that again.” a pause. he turns, his head now buried in your chest.
“just studying my homework.” you say, hands instinctively wrapping around his back. the laundry machine is running in the background, rain is falling against the window, and you faintly hear your rice cooker dinging in the kitchen. home, you think, is with rafayel.
“i can hear your heartbeat.” he says, voice muffled. “it’s super fast. you like me or something?”
“i really like you.” you say, without skipping a beat. rafayel groans into your chest, sighing in discontent.
“no fair. i’m supposed to be the flirter.”
you press a kiss onto the top of his head and you feel his body melt into yours. the two of you fall into a warm silence, his breath steady as he traces paintings into your neck.
“raf?” you mumble, eyes drooping. he hums in response. “did you pass your assignment?”
he smiles. “with flying colors.”
xavier
chronic napper. (yapper?)
has 100 late assignments. failing all of his classes yet got into the top university in your country because he got a perfect score on his entrance exams. you thought he was a nepo baby (turns out he’s just.. smart?)
his procrastination rubs off on you… he is the WORST distraction and he knows it. so smug about it and uses it to his own advantage. will perch on top of you when you’re studying and kiss down your neck until you go to sleep with him.
lives in the apartment on top of yours but is at your house most days, if not all. you ask him to move in.
“am i not already.. living with you?”
“don’t you still have your apartment, though?”
“yeah..?”
is that good for the economy?? is it financially smart? not at all, but he’s too lazy to move out and put his apartment up for lease.
xavier sleeps with his legs entangled with yours and his arms wrapped tightly around your chest. the air conditioning hums in the background as you scroll mindlessly on your phone, dimming the brightness as you hear xavier stir.
“sorry xav, did i wake you up?” you ask. he doesn’t respond, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he glares at your phone.
“xavier?” you question, swallowing a laugh at his ruffled hair and disheveled clothes.
“phone down.” he says, voice raspy with sleep and an octave lower than usual. you raise an eyebrow at him.
“can i get a pretty please in this economy?”
xavier’s eyes narrow as he snatches your phone away, snoozing the device and placing it on the nightstand next to you. his lips ghost your neck, pressing kisses against your skin as he mumbles incoherently in the dark of your bedroom.
“xavier-” you breathe, giggling at the sensation. “that tickles!”
he nips at your neck.
“bedtime. now.”
zayne
3 years older than you
he literally has his whole life together at 27 which scares you so much
“my credit card is your credit card” typa boyfriend
cooks. cleans. has a 9-5. you’re interning at the hospital that he works at (he’s head doctor!!)
you’re just a sweet little intern and zayne is the big bad monster!! everyone at work thinks he hates you because he’s extra strict on you. doesn’t give you any special treatment, ‘ignores’ you most days (but also slips meals into your locker and hands you heat packs on cold days in the hospital)
no one knows he’s dating you until one day someone sees you leaving in zaynes car.
“oh, you carpool with doctor zayne?”
“huh? no, we live together.”
“you WHAT???”
he’s a virgo……. erm……
the two of you get ready together in the morning. his guard is down when he’s sleepy and he’ll cling to you as he brushes his teeth and does his hair.
you wake up to the cold night breeze, blinking the sleep out of your eyes and shivering as you scan your surroundings. you yelp as you meet the attentive gaze of your boyfriend.
“huh? whuh? huh?” you splutter, squirming as zayne holds you tighter. he’s carrying you bridal style in his arms, his jacket around your shoulders as the two of you walk to his car. you see the bright lights of akso hospital fading away behind the two of you.
“it’s two am,” he says calmly, placing you down gently as he opens your car door for you. “you waited for my shift to end. again.”
you smile bashfully, rubbing the back of your head. “well, i didn’t wanna just leave you!”
zayne clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, eyebrows furrowed but gaze warm. he guides you into your seat, clicking your seatbelt in place.
“you can nap on the way home,” he says, closing the door and sliding into his side of the car.
the heater’s on already- courtesy of his super expensive electric car. he fastens his own seatbelt and hands you a hot tea and bread from the hospital vending machine.
“drink up. doctor’s orders.”
you grin before he leans over to press a kiss on your lips.
“thank you for waiting for me.”
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#rafayel#xavier#zayne#love and deepspace headcanons#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#love and deepspace fluff
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Get cookin' with SM Kids Kitchen: Easy, convenient and affordable treats for the whole family
As parents, we all know how hectic life can get. With work, household chores, and keeping up with the kids’ schoolwork and activities, it can be a challenge to find time to prepare meals and snacks that the whole family will enjoy. That’s where SM Kids Kitchen comes in. What is SM Kids Kitchen? SM Kids Kitchen is a category of grocery items available on the ShopSM website and ShopSM app,…
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also admittedly i feel very passionately about this subject because i actually stopped making more personal artworks online due to them being sexualized. all pieces about my struggles with addiction, sexual abuse, ocd and dissociation are now kept private because its too painful for people to attempt to rip at them like a piece of meat instead of sit with and attempt to understand them.
i still make art for myself, though sometimes i wonder if people are upset with me for making more cute 'shallow' art instead of sharing all of what i make.
in a way this is just another defense tactic - to 'mascotify' myself, to wear a cute costume as a way to protect the parts of my identity im not comfortable sharing and watching other people go 'me and who' to.
i recognize i cannot control the way that others engage with my art. if i did try to do that, id be brushed off as erratic, angry or hysterical. so instead of fight it i choose to lean into it instead. ill be a marketable plushie if thats what the world would have of me. ill keep my vulnerabilities safe inside
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Dracula Daily Prep: Gather Your Paprikash!
It's that time of year again. Even as we speak, Jonathan Harker has departed for Transylvania, and the unhallowed halls of Castle Dracula. And as he makes his way towards that foreboding country, he will encounter a singular, most enticing of dishes: Paprika Hendl, or as we might know it better, Chicken Paprikash!
This traditional Central European dish explodes in popularity each May as we all gather around our virtual mess hall to enjoy the spirit of this most influential of gothic novels. Perhaps you yourself are considering throwing together a pot this year? Well, if you are, let this be your guide.
So, first, let's discuss the most important of the ingredients here: authentic hungarian paprika. Now, the recipe I first used last year called only for Sweet Paprika, but I personally found that version to be a little bland. I'm remedying this by adding some Hot Paprika as well. However, this is just my personal experimentation. Hungarian Hot Paprika can in fact be very hot, so if you're not comfortable with anything too spicy, feel free to opt only for the Sweet Paprika.
(Both of these I had to order online.)
Next, is another very important addition. As youre gathering your basic cornerstones of cooking (namely yellow onion, roma tomato, and garlic for this recipe) you may find yourself passing up on something that could vastly improve your dish. I'm talking, of course, about Hungarian Wax Peppers. These peppers range in heat, from meak and mild to slightly hotter than you'd average jalapeño. As per instruction, you should only use one. But on my end, I found the single pepper to be a little underwhelming, and I had trouble picking out it's flavor. So, this year, I'll be using two of them.
I got these from Central Market, an upmarket gorcer on Westheimer. They're a cousin of HEB, and you can find one or two in every major city in Texas. If you're elsewhere, try an alternative like Whole Foods, or try to find a European or International food market in your area.
Next, let's talk chicken. You can't have Chicken Paprkiash without the chicken, after all.
You're going to want to go with dark meat cuts for this. Traditionally the dish would use a mix of legs and thighs. Personally, I suggest using only the thighs, which you'll want to get bone-in and skin-on. The thigh provides a flater surface for browning than the leg, as well as more meat.
(A note on food safety, raw chicken will usually only last 2-3 days in the fridge. So you'll want to grab that fairly close to the day you're actually cooking this. If not, you can do what I'll be doing, and sticking it in the freezer until about 24 hours before I start cooking.)
So, as you gather your meat, produce, and spice you're probably asking yourself, "what on Earth am I going to be eating this with?" And the answer to that is spaetzle! A popular dumpling present in lots of Central European cooking, this is exactly what you need to tie this all together.
Now, while you should be able to find some in the international isle of most major grocers, you might also have to visit an international food store, or perhaps something more upmarket. If none of these options work, then there are a variety of other side dishes that work just as well. Egg noodles are a very popular choice, and in my very American attempt last year, I found that mashed potatoes work especially well.
Now that you've got all these things together, you're very nearly done. All that's left is the thickener. Paprikash is thickened using a blend of flour, heavy whipping cream, and sour cream. We'll get onto preparing this mixture in my post on actually cooking the paprikash, but until then, acquiring them should be a cake walk at any place food items are sold.
Now that will conclude the actual grocery list for just the Paprikash itself, but I do have one more pointer on how to really liven up this meal. Now, if you're under 21 or if perhaps you take after our dear, depraved, beloathed Count
Then you can skip this next bit. As a wine professional myself, I find that a well paired glass can add a tremendous flare to nearly any already great dinner. In the case of something like Chicken Paprkiash, and keeping with the Central European theme, I could hardly think of a better match than a good German Pinot Noir, also known as a Spatburgunder. Pinot from Germany typically has a very light body and a refreshing acidity that plays very well with the rich and creamy sauce of Chicken Paprikash. The palate of earth and red fruit should always pair nicely with the smoke of the paprika, as well as being a general good partner for any chicken. I myself am going with this 2020 Rheingau from August Kesseler.
And with that, we are done! Hit those checkout isles and make sure to get home before dark. Terrible things have sway over the world once the sun has gone down. So if the crowd does keep you locked up until nightfall, make sure to graciously accept any crucifixes given to you by kindly, elderly grandmothers and inn keepers. But whatever you do, make sure to pop in on Friday, when I'll be sharing a step by step guide on taking these ingredients and turning them into a dinner that will make our good friend Jonathan go red as a fire truck!
Happy Dracula Week everybody!
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Sweet Radio Demon Alastor x Reader
As promised, here she is -
It's inspired by Living Tombstone's song Alastor's Game!
CW: Reader is a cannibal and it's a p big part of the story so mentions and details of cannibalistic intent and murder
♡♡♡
Some people just don't belong in Hell. The structure of divine judgment must be rigged, punishing any poor soul who commits sin without realizing it. Those individuals don't belong.
Then there are those who do. Those who realize there's an afterlife and instantly come to terms with their placement. That's when all the Oh, I'm definitely going to Hell for this jokes start to bite back.
It's always easier for those who choose to be sinners to adapt to Hell's settings. The job market for porn stars and actors is extensive, and protection is almost guaranteed despite the souls owed or deals made.
But, what interested you the most, you depraved sinner you, was the loveliness of Cannibal Town. Not only was it the nicest part of Pentagram City, but you felt right at home considering your appetite when you were living.
It was immense. Some kind of craving that you could never satisfy, no matter how many callers you invited into your home and how many of them never left. You got creative, playing with recipes, spices, and cooking methods, but it was never, never, enough.
Sometimes, you'd wonder how you got to this point. You were a normal enough kid, went to school, had a nuclear home life, and you were comfortable financially, the works.
You remember it feeling like a stomach ache.
A stomach ache that brought you to tears and kept you from school some days. You almost assumed it was something every child went through until you learned what subdued the pain.
Meat.
It was the solution. You ate like a carnivore at first, then the food became increasingly rare as you aged up. Until you stumbled upon some strange forums online (There's something online for everyone, I suppose). You gave in to the cryptid suggestions. You tried rodents at first, only after thorough mental and food preparation, but fuck did it do the job. It made your body shutter and your mind hazy, momentarily melting any thoughts of guilt you might still have.
As time went on, you grew hungrier. Animals weren't cutting it.. but maybe he could.
You found him online, chatted for a while over some messenger, then discovered how much of a dirtbag he truly was. That seemed to disarm you from the whole idea.
Poor thing.
Maybe if he was kind enough, he would have been spared.
You invited him over.
As you watch him approach your door, you tussle your hair, and adjust your clothes that leave little to the imagination. With a continuous, you can do this, you can do this, you're drawn to the knocking of the door.
"Damn, babe, if I knew you actually looked like this, I would've come over sooner." He props his arm on the doorframe as he speaks.
Is.. is that supposed to be a compliment?
Your eye only twitches a bit before you cover your expression with a cute giggle. Holding your hands behind your back, you lean forward.
"Not too bad yourself, big guy. How's a movie sound?"
One thing leads to another, you're seated on your couch, and his hands are immediately on you. For someone who acts so big and tough, his touch is awkward and uncomfortable. Like he doesn't know what he's doing.. probably because he doesn't know what he's doing.
The inexperience helps.
You didn't take into account how large he was. Assuming this would go as planned, you'd be set for weeks, but the actual action of getting him down still worries you.
You're barely an hour into the movie, which you can hardly remember, before his sloppy lips are on yours, which you respond to with a grimace. He doesn't seem to take into account your reactions, grunting against your very unresponsive lips.
Disgusting.
Pig.
He places a large hand on your waist, pulling you roughly to him.
Strong.
Muscular.
You need more. You need to evaluate your prey. You place your hand on his wrist, delicately running your fingers up the entirety of his forearm, tracing and digging into each vein and muscle you can find. That continues up to his chest. Before long, you find yourself straddling him, his wide hips forcing your legs apart a decent amount. Despite his build, his composure clearly shows he's nearly at your mercy. While you're running your hands along his body continuously, occasionally kissing him or letting out fake moans to his ear, you're feeling his ever-growing length pressing into your leg.
You'd be disgusted by the sensation if you weren't planning your next move internally.
You hid weapons everywhere. If you remember correctly, there should be a knife sitting in the crevice between the couch’s armrest and the side table. You just have to reach -
"Take this off." You command with a breathy voice, tugging at his t-shirt that had some unknown stain on it. You almost regret putting so much effort into your appearance.
Oh, well. You're taking notes in the back of your mind for any future endeavors.
You guide his desperate hands to pull the shirt over his head. In one movement, you drop the shirt and take the hidden knife into your hand. You hadn't realized until just now, but -
You're shaking.
You let out a deep breath. With your arms reaching over the arm of the couch, you're essentially caging him in. Nothing looks suspicious yet. Not to him, at least.
You lean in to give him one final kiss. You aren't exactly sure why. It's not doing anything for you. Maybe some sort of sympathy is crossing your mind?
… You'll have to work on that.
You pull away slowly, giving yourself time to examine the state he's in. His eyes are glazed over, his breath shallow.
Now.
Do it now.
You're ready. You've studied anatomy, disarmed yourself to the idea, and prepared for the worst.
You have to do it now.
You straighten your back, the knife now visible to him. He doesn't seem to notice at first until your arms are in the air, hoping to find some momentum in the stab. With your eyes still open, you find the spot where it should end this without too much pain for either party. You dive as fast as you can, but you made a fatal error.
You shut your eyes.
The moment was immediately silenced by the tension of his hand fisting the blade of the knife. He caught it. He stopped it just before it could pierce his chest, only bleeding from his palm. You both sit silently, in disbelief, perhaps.
A silent curse slips from your lips, and that seems to snap him back to this failure of a hook-up.
"You fucking psychopath!" He screeches. He stands, effectively throwing you off his lap as he does so. The action forces a small yelp out of you, and your grip on the knife is immediately taken from you. You stare up at him from the ground.
The tables seem to have turned. He's looking down at you, stumbling and struggling to find his grounding, all the while holding the knife. Despite this, despite his large build and his newfound advantage, he bolts for the door.
Was this better than him attacking you? Will he go to the police? You almost hope he's fragile enough to not admit he was attacked by a frail creature, or that he'll use this as a story to brag to his friends over, I escaped a psycho bitch last night.
You start cursing again. They become more frantic and louder as you follow him out. You watch him stumble off your patio and back to his car. You manage to find reality when a previous thought hits you.
You hid weapons everywhere.
A shotgun sits by your front door. It wasn't the most hidden, but in your defense, it was dark enough outside that it went unnoticed. And you're in a rural enough area that some wouldn't bat an eye at the sight of it.
With shaky hands, you pick it up, already loaded, and aim it at him. He's already in the driver's seat, but you're too exposed to let him just drive off at this point.
You didn't really know much about guns. But in an emergency such as this, it seemed like it would come in handy. So when you took your shot, you never considered the consequences of shooting bullets at a running car, especially with your poor aim.
You come to moments later, fire and pieces of metal surround you. You try to take in your surroundings, but your ears are ringing, and your senses are overwhelmed by the severe burns covering most of your body. You manage to find your home, still mostly intact. The car, on the other hand, is completely decimated.
In the corner of your eye, you think you can spot some resemblance of your date sprawled along the asphalt. With a heavy breath, which you consider might be your last, you let your head drop onto the pavement.
-
"My my, what a predicament you've got yourself into!"
A voice?
It echoes through your head. You can still only see the crackling of the fire surrounding you, and your ears still ring, but the voice seems clear as day. There's a bit of a static to it, but still it's clearnes startles you. You attempt to respond through the pain.
"W-Who-"
"Save your strength, my dear. I'll be quick since it seems you won't be with us much longer." The voice says. You can hear footsteps, a clear clicking of heels that echo in this ethereal space you find yourself. You struggle to lift your head, only catching a glimpse of the stranger kneeling in front of you.
"I'll clean up this little mess of yours, and we can discuss my repayment once you're in less of a.. scorched state. Deal?"
How could you consider the consequences? Or even comprehend his words while you’re like this? You aren't sure what he means, and you have no time to question. Your consciousness seems to be honing in on the burns.
You let out a horrific scream, clutching your arms, only intensifies the pain. If you could see the stranger, you'd see a disturbingly unphased smile.
"Help me - H-Help me! Please!" You beg and cry out, finally reaching out your hand to him.
"So? Do we have a deal?"
"Deal - Deal! Fuck- I-It hurts..!" You sob, biting your blood-dampened lip to prevent any more screams.
He takes your hand, gripping onto the raw skin of your burns. Your next scream comes out silently. You feel your vision blur before your body finally comes to terms with its seemingly sealed fate.
-
You shoot up from your bed, your face running with tears. They feel cool, running down your heated cheeks. You quickly wipe your face, leaving a wet smudge of makeup and sweat across your fingers.
Right.. make-up from the date.
You scan your bed, no man in sight. It’s a relief to wake up in your bed alone. Shifting out from under the covers, you look to your hands, waving them in front of your eyes and running your hands across your own skin.
Smooth.
Maybe even softer than you remember previously.
Some sort of calming amenity seems to be sweeping over your body. With glazed eyes, you examine your body that should be severely burned, yet you feel nothing.
Still, in a state of shock, you rise and wrap yourself in your blanket before leaving your bedroom looking a mess. You roam your home, looking around with still-damp eyes. You feel like a tourist. Like none of this is yours.
Not anymore.
You find yourself standing by your front door, opening it without hesitation. It's a clear sunny day. The grass is just as green, if not greener, and there were flowers there that you don't recall ever planting.
Suddenly, your bare feet against the heated pavement sends a slight panic through you, as the more gruesome details of the previous night conjured in your mind.
That's why nothing looks right. You were sure your porch was blackened by the fire. The grass was a flame, and there was a car - and that man and the voice -
You approach where his car was parked, only to find a torn-up strip of rubber, assumingly from its tire.
"What the.." unable to even complete a thought, a familiar voice only brings up more questions.
"Ah, my apologies! I assure you it is quite out of character for me to miss a spot." You see a disturbingly tall figure come from behind, swooping down to pick up the rubber scrap. He examines it within his red talons, turning it back and forth. You stand dumbfounded, but he goes on anyway.
"So, what exactly caused your date to ..implode? Was he not to your liking? Too handsy? Too-"
...
You're too tired for this.
You rub the sleep from your eyes, turning on your heels and letting the blanket drag across the rugged pavement behind you as you head back inside. You almost expect some sort of resistance from him, a qwip on how rude it is to walk off in the middle of a conversation, but there is none. Maybe you just imagined that little interaction. Maybe there wasn't really anyone there, and you're still tired or still sleeping.
You open the door, and that same bright smile greets you from inside your own home.
That seems to wake you up.
Your wide eyes scan his face, then peek inside your home behind him. You turn back around to see where he previously was, and obviously there's no sign of his travels. You slowly turn back.
"May I speak now?" His voice is laced with a radio filter, and it hits your ears in the strangest way. The reality of the situation turns your exhaustion into apprehension, yet you nod your head anyway.
"I may have caught you in the midst of your disarray, but I must admit, I'm curious about what led to it." He steps aside and gestures for you to come inside. To your own house.
"H-He got the upper hand is all." You decide not to comment, moving inside sluggishly. As far as you know, this strange being has no idea of the sins you've committed. You quickly fib.
"He attacked me, actually."
"Oh, how devastating!" He lets out a saddened sigh, a hand over his heart with fake sympathy. "Now, was that before or after you attempted to drive a knife through his chest?"
With a defeated groan, you flop onto the couch.
"What are you? A sleep paralysis demon? A.. nightmare? Am I still asleep?" You grumble, running the possibilities out loud and not expecting a true answer. You actually hoped that it would all go away. That this voice in your head, this hallucination, is just that.
In your head.
"Ooh, I like the sound of that.. A nightmare~ has a nice ring to it wouldn't you say?" He stands in front of you, his hands folded formally behind his back.
"Now. Enough with the compliments. What truly happened, my dear?” When his voice suddenly turns sympathetic, you find yourself actually in need of someone to vent to.
“Well, since you're clearly just a nightmare - or.. something - ” You sit up, take in a deep breath, and with its release, you reveal yourself.
All of you.
Every single animal you've killed to curb your pain, what seems to work and what doesn't, and the previous nights failure. You talk about the number of friends and family you've scared off throughout the years, everything.
“I.. was gonna eat.. him…” You squeak out your final sentence. You've never really said it out loud before. And never in front of someone else. It made your own blood run cold. Not the thought of the act itself, but just sharing it aloud. your eyes stay fixed on your fidgeting hands in your lap when a loud cackle interrupts your anxiousness.
“My word, aren’t you just the cutest basket case? You're lucky to be dealing with a demon of similar tastes.” He hisses his final words, all with a sly smile. He sounds prideful in his admission. His words seem like they're meant to disarm you, and even though he essentially admitted to being a cannibalistic demon, it works.
“Well.. since we have sooo much in common-” Your voice drags, the notion of being similar to this demon feeling strange to mention out loud, “-would you.. help me? With all this..?”
Expecting another laugh, maybe some more teasing, you're met with a confusing expression. His smile is still there, unmoving, but you catch the smallest twinkle in his eye. He stands and faces away. The hope of finding an outlet for your cannibalistic intent starts to dwindle.
Your misplaced disappointment is overtaken by the flickering of lights and the soft tunes of a radio nearby, one that you recognized but were sure had been broken for decades. He turns his head unnaturally, looking over his shoulder to meet you with blackened eyes.
“I would be absolutely delighted.”
-
“Lucky for you, some of your late-night delivery seemed to withstand the flames!”
You follow that transatlantic accent to your kitchen, unamused by his continuous puns and casual speech. This big scary demon friend of yours presents a commically large plate, with a very familiar carcass sitting atop.
He did nothing to make it look any less disturbing than it truly was. the skin was nearly burned off, the smell was just awful, and the shirt was somehow still recognizable through it all.
You cover your mouth in response. The fact that it doesn't smell much different than some of the other carnivorous meals you’ve prepared nauseates you more than the sight of the corpse itself.
“Quite a specimen, very good choice! But, you needed tips, correct?”
All you can think of to respond is a simple nod of your head.
“Then let's get started!” With a snap of his clawed fingers, a sleek black apron covers his suit.
The next few hours were grueling, but.. fun? If you're allowed to call it that. You were given multiple pointers, and sure, they were all quite helpful, but they were in excruciating detail. What certain parts of the body you should pick or avoid was one thing, but discussing what wine pairs with what organs? It's not a conversation you ever thought you'd have.
By the time the meal looks normal, all decorated with spices in a baking pan and in the oven, you instinctively go to do dishes. As you fill the sink and start bringing things over, a little creature has you nearly tripping. You look down, seeing a strange little stitched doll carrying most of the dishes to the sink. No matter how strange it looked, you respond with a curious hum, fully desensitized to it at this point.
“Huh..” is all you can say. You take any remaining dishes and follow suit, plopping it all into the water. The little doll seems to be tugging at your leg when you try to walk off. It's holding its arms up to you, letting out little murmurs that sound restrained by the stitches across its mouth. You hesitate at first, but scoop it up in your arms and place it aside the sink. And it gets to work scrubbing away.
“Damn, you're cute, and you clean? Can I keep you?” You ask it quietly, giving it a quick pat on the head. It seems to smile.
“Quite a delightful little thing, one of my better creations, I must admit.” The response from him seems to scare the poor thing straight. It immediately lowers its head and focuses on cleaning. You scoff at the interaction between the two. if his own toy is scared of him, should you be as well? “That being said, I simply can not part with it. My apologies.”
“Oh, I was kidding. Mostly.” You reply quietly. You hear the first chuckle from him that seems genuine. No ill intent, just a joyous response to your little quip. It felt kinda.. Nice.
-
“So, Mr. Scary Demon Man-” You clear your throat before you speak. “-why are you here, exactly? did I do something to summon you? Or-” He cocks his head to the side at the title, a little twitch to his eye.
“Not at all, my dear. I simply wanted to help you in your little endeavors, from one cannibal to another, Haha!” His tone goes back to that of a salesman. Like he’s trying to convince you he’s something he’s not.
“Well.. thank you, I guess. I don't really understand why you’d want to help me without wanting something in return, though. You don't seem like-”
“-A charitable man? I suppose that’s fair.” He doesn’t give you a chance to reply. “If you’re so desperate to return the favor, why don’t we strike a deal? Just a little one. Between friends.”
You weren’t stupid. His words made it clear that this was his intention from the moment he chose to save your life. You shrunk a bit.
“Sure, between friends.” You let out a sigh, your somewhat chipper attitude immediately fading. He takes no time to be empathetic.
“Good! Now, you seem to have an eye for food. This meal was ideal considering your poor execution.” You can’t stop your eyes from rolling. “And you can’t get meals quite like this where I’m from. How about you keep providing, with my assistance, and I’ll make sure it’s prepared to the best of my abilities. In exchange for all my hard and generous work, I get half the spoils! Seems far more favorable on your end, but I’m feeling rather generous today.”
Where he’s from? You want to question it. You want to know more about him, you want to know -
“What’s your name?” Your sudden questioning leaves him speechless for a moment, but he’s quick to recover his charming smile. “You never told me.”
“Well, considering you won’t need my name if you don’t agree to this little game, how about I throw that in as well? You provide the living flesh, and I’ll handle the rest. And, you’ll get my name.” He stands before you, a bit too close for your comfort, as he reaches his hand out to you. “Call it a deal?”
An ominous green glow surrounds the two of you. It sends some kind of wind through your clothes and hair. His hand is especially bright, and his eyes go back to that frightening black that you experienced previously.
At the end of the day, if this is what you have to do to stifle those damned pains, it doesn't seem all that bad. You extend your hand, instinctively flinching at the seemingly impending danger. But that still doesn't stop you.
“O-Okay.. Deal.” With the touch of his palm against yours, the glow flashes, forcing your body to tense and your eyes to squeeze shut. It only lasts for a moment, though. When you open your eyes, you first examine your connected hands. His hand is huge compared to yours. From this proximity, you can truly take in how unnaturally tall he is.
Attempting to tug your hand back, his grip tightens, forcing your hand to his lips for a quick kiss to your knuckles. An outdated and surprisingly intimate action leaves you a bit flustered.
“My name is Alastor. It’s been a pleasure, my dear~”
-
And so, your transactional deal went on, right until your demise. You used a similar tactic to bring more meals to your doorstep, finding a handful of poor saps online. You weren’t exactly sure what he meant when he offered his assistance, but when the time came, a strength took over your body that you never experienced before. There were no more shaky hands or sympathy. Your aim was always true, and it was just so easy. Any impending dangers or possible retaliations were alerted to you by a subtle whisper, a voice, coming from just behind you. It was startling at first, but quickly became a comfort.
When it came to preparing the food, which Alastor said he’d handle, you’d essentially leave your victim's remains in the kitchen and would come back to a meal ready for the oven. Sometimes, you’d leave the body as is, limp on the couch, or sprawled on the floor, only when you were too exhausted to deal with the clean-up. On nights like that, you’d wake up to a completed meal the next morning. You liked to picture him going through your home, rolling up his sleeves and wearing that apron, cleaning things up, and cooking in your kitchen how he did that first night.
That being said, you didn't normally see his physical form. There was the lent strength and whispers during your hunts, but other than that, contact seemed to nearly cease. Why was that upsetting you? You cursed yourself for being too much of a romantic - for making this seem like anything more than a delusion you conjured up to make this whole action easier for you.
And that pain? That constant hunger that was never sufficed nearly went away. In fact, you’ve never felt fuller.
He did return on especially rare occasions. You never complained, and you attempted to hide your excitement when you'd catch him lurking in the corner of your eye.
Sometimes, it was to cook for you again. Despite the deal being in full swing, you would ask him to show you some of the recipes. Normally, it would just appear, looking delicious and homemade as always, yet you still pestered him to show you how to prepare some things. He always acted burdened by it, but seeing him cooking felt.. Domestic. Like, when he was cooking, he was truly in his element. It made it easy to forget what he was, which you found yourself questioning less and less. It simply didn't matter anymore.
One particular visit was late into the night. He actually woke you up from the racket, which had never happened before. Stumbling out of your bed, expecting to see police raiding your home or something worse, you’re instead met with a swaying radio demon and a shattered vase. Whenever he was around, soft music would play from your busted radio, a contrasting notion to the fumbling man in front of you now.
“Alastor?” You call out, a wave of relief hitting you and bringing the baseball bat from your hands to the floor. “What the hell are you doing? It’s like.. three in the morning..” The realization of the time makes the previous adrenaline seep out of you.
“Ha-ha! Isn’t that an interesting concept? The Devil’s Hour. Throw some religious implications, and it drives people mad! In reality, it’s just when your feeble body is at its most vulnerable.” He rambles on, spilling the drink from his bottle as he exaggerates his actions. He walks to you as he goes on, his body still swaying. “When your little fragile human heart reaches its lowest speed. When waking you would cause.. distress.” He goes on, his words suddenly sounding melancholic.
“Your breathing is erratic.” He adds, staring intensely at your heaving chest. “And you are hot to the touch-” The back of his claws trace the apple of your cheek, where even you can feel the heat radiating from your skin. Because his voice has no filter. You’ve never heard it like that before. You’ve never heard him sound so human.
His hand traces down your face to press against your chest. He’s feeling your heart. And it’s beating erratically.
“Your heart is fast. Are you distressed?” He leans in closer, to the point where you can smell the alcohol on his breath. “Do I make you distressed?”
In a flustered panic, you push him away. His closeness, his touch, it all threw you off guard.
“N-no, I’m just tired. You woke me up in the middle of the night, asshole.” You cross your arms over your chest, watching him laugh and struggle to find his bearings after being shoved. With a groan, you pull him by his slender arm over to the couch. He sits down with a thud, and you sit a careful distance next to him.
“That is what is so refreshing about you, my dear.” He lets out a dreamy sigh, and you pull the whiskey from his hand before he can break anything else. “Why - you have no idea who you’re dealing with, I could be a powerful demon overlord,” He slurs his words. “But, to you, I’m just your sweet radio demon~” He sings out.
Alastor leans into you, uncharacteristically tapping your nose. You swat his hand away, forcing another loud chuckle from him. He stays leaning forward, even seated beside you, he towers over you. Your wide eyes meet his.
“Even your eyes show no sign of fear. How curious.” You stay like this a little longer. His breath still reeks of expensive whiskey, but you can’t seem to tear your eyes from him. You’re terribly focused on keeping your distance, but he doesn't seem to have the same concern.
With a sly smile, he removes his coat and flips to his back, laying his head in your lap. With his long legs crossed over each other and hanging very much off the couch, you’re almost nervous to touch him. He wasn’t especially touchy, only doing so when necessary; fingers brushing against fingers, a hand on the shoulder for a mere second- why can you remember each moment so vividly? Why is it so fresh in your mind?
“Alastor, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you at home? or.. wherever you are when you're not here?” That’s still something you’ve questioned. You weren’t one to pester him so insistently, wery on losing the good thing you have going on.
“Unfortunately, I’m not sure! Be careful with your alcohol, my dear! Ha-haa!” He slurs out with a grin. “I suppose.. I prefer to be here.”
“What? Why? If you’re some powerful overlord, don’t you have somewhere better to be getting sloshed?” You scoff, keeping your eyes away from his head that was still perched comfortably in your lap. He seems to even nuzzle into your thighs a bit, and it only flushes you more. You take an unpermitted swig of his confiscated drink.
“Hm! Well, I can’t exactly get meat this fresh in Hell-” He taps his chin in thought to your rhetorical question that clearly went right over his head. “-besides! It’s not nearly as nice without you.” He sounds so matter of fact, so sure of his words. You hold your breath, suddenly reliving every moment together before this.
You’d chat and joke around in the kitchen, but you’ve really learned more about him than you thought. How he sews together those strange little creatures. And he seems so proud of them, despite their clear fear of his presence. You noticed he always puts some sort of spice in the meals he cooks, and that even if it's too much, you eat it anyway. How he simply hates getting dirty despite his occupation. He rolls up his sleeves, has that dumb apron, and uses those little toys of his to keep clean.
You loved it.
You’ve done nothing but enjoy every moment with him. You don’t need to know what he is to know that.
Wait, did he say Hell?
“You’re from Hell? There’s a Hell??” With a more shocked exclamation than feared, you finally look down at him. He’s too far gone, humming along to the music, he barely hears your questions. With a clearly defeated sigh, you brush his hair from his face. He winces from the action, his smile wavering but not breaking under your touch.
“Ah, I wish I knew how you survive this cozy little life.” His voice is quiet and mumbled.
You.
I can live this way because of you.
He manages to finish off the bottle with one more swig - when did he take that back?
Your thoughts begin to wander, absent-mindedly twirling strands of hair through your fingers, raking your fingers down his scalp, only to startle yourself with the sensation of animalistic ears. And they’re twitching. Whether it be your reaction or his, it seems to force a little yelp from you, so you reel your hand away.
“I didn’t mean to alarm you, darling.. Could you - or.. You can.. Continue. If you’d like.” His voice had dropped that strange filter again. You feel woozy. That whiskey you had shared, maybe it was strong. Or.. it was the middle of the night, you were sure you were just tired. You spiraled to come up with any reasonable excuse other than developing feelings for a Hellbound demon. You wonder if you-
Oh, you’re definitely going to Hell.
But, could it be something to look forward to?
Your intimate thoughts cloud your mind, leaving your hand mindlessly petting a literal demon. Your fingers combed through his hair, delicately clawing up the ears and pinching the softness at the tip of each one. Despite your thorough and elaborate massage, your mind has wandered to how a relationship with a possible hallucination of a demon would work out. But that's ridiculous, isn’t it?
“Alastor, can I ask you-” your words are brought to a halt and your eyes drop. A quiet hum of satisfaction, leaving a barely conscious radio demon, who’s head still sat in your lap. With a curse under your breath you decide you're trapped.
There was absolutely no chance of escape. What, were you supposed to wake him? What if you upset a powerful overlord demon, or whatever he claimed to be? Albeit uncomfortable, you force yourself to sleep. Enjoy it while you can, who knows if it's even real?
You didn't see him for awhile after that.
-
Alastor was a poinient man. He never missed a pick up before. So when you realized the meat you've portioned off for him was still sitting in your fridge, you start to worry. You're not exactly sure why, you’ve pushed any and every intimate thought from your mind.
This is purely transactional.
Even though his portion had gone untouched for a few days.. A few weeks, if you really think about it, you already had a date set with another victim.
It went on as usual. A dumb hunk of meat thinks he’s all that until you’re straddling him. You decide to stick to what you know works; a knife to the heart.
You mapped exactly where to plant it, as he fiddles with your top, and with a raised arm, you go to claim your next victim.
There was no warning.
There was supposed to be a warning.
The next thing you know, you're pinned to the floor, your wrist being gripped so tightly you have no other option than to scream and lose your grip on the knife.
Your date took no time. No hesitation.
The last thing you see is the opposing view. A stranger straddling your body with a knife held high above his head.
It seems so quiet.
And it's awful.
Where was the warning?
If anything, you should've at least heard Alastor's voice telling you how to avoid this. You always do. A slight pang of worry hits you, but it's quickly overtaken by anger.
With a final yelp that's fueled with frustration, hurt, and a broken heart, you met your demise quickly and alone.
By the time you've come to, you're surrounded by a handful of black eyed children. You immediately scramble backward, hitting your back against a brick wall. You’d notice your surroundings if these little scavengers werent eyeing you with an innocent curioustity. You let out a hiss, holding a hand over your eye. A streak of blackened blood comes from it, your palm thoroughly stained with it.
“You must be new~”
“You’re very handsome!”
“How did you die?”
A bombard of tiny voices and questions go straight over your head, a ringing in your ears forcing your mind to go hazy.
“Alright, give ‘em some space, kids!” A sweet voice seems to bring you back. You look down to your seated body. Your skin is a deathly gray, and your top is stained with your own blood. It’s still red. “Don’t overwhelm the poor thing, I’m sure they’re quite shaken!”
Your eyes then trace up the silhouette of a vintage looking entourage, then to a sharp-toothed smile. The woman stands before you, a hand held out to you.
Her eyes are just as black and her skin is just as pale as those children that now whisper and giggle to eachother nearby.
It didn’t take you long to realize your misfortune.
You died.
You’re upset sure, but you find that you’re mostly angry. None of this wouldve happened if you- if he-
“Come on, cutie! Let’s get you cleaned up.” Her considerate smile clears your mind almost immediately. You don’t hesitate accepting her assistance.
-
“He was supposed to help me. He said he would be there for me! I died because of him..!”
A strained smile and a quick nod is the only response you get to your angered rambling. The kind face that scooped you off the streets was Rosie, one of the most powerful overlords in Hell, who just so happens to own most the souls in Cannibal town.
Lucky you.
She did exactly as she said, having her fun and playing a bit of dress up with you. It wasn't exactly your style, but there were more concerning things when it came to your appearance. Your eyes were just as black as Rosie’s. As those children who have been following you around.. In fact, most residents of cannibal town had this feature.
You really are in Hell.
Right where you belong.
Right along side people who are just like you. It almost felt.. Comfortable.
You confided in her, going on and on about some jerk of a demon who broke a promise that cost you your life. How he had been helping you in fights, saved your life a number of times, taught you how to cook, showed up drunk to simply sit in your lap, then just fucking disapeared when you needed him most. Your face was turning red, from anger or the way you gushed about him, Rosie couldn’t quite decipher.
What wasn’t comfortable was the period clothing you were put in. But according to Rosie, it’s Perfect! What a doll!
“Is Alastor. The radio demon?” She completes your sentence with a sigh, standing to tower over you and placing a hand on your shoulder. “I hate to break it to you, hun, but no one’s seen him in quite a while.. If i’m being entirely honest with you, he’s a dear friend of mine.” You instantly tense at her words. You just went on a rant about how shitty he was, only to find out he’s disapeared with no explanation. Maybe it was a good reason. A good enough reason to leverage your own life? You aren’t sure.
“I have to find him!” You finally say, as if a lightbulb switched in your head. He seemed so unattainable all these years, but now? You’re in his house. “Miss Rosie! Can you help me? His name-”
“I can’t say he didn’t wrong you, but he’s a man of his word, hun.. If he’s not holding up his promises, then he might be in some real trouble.. ” You hear her voice crack, yet she doesn't let her smile drop.
Another factor to consider that Alastor might have bitten more than he can chew, yet she still sympathises with you. You nearly knock the wind out of her with your arms encircling her small waist. Your head rests just at her chest. You can’t see her face, but her arms are around you almost instantly.
-
As you got settled in town, you did actually use the skills that Alastor had taught you throughout your lifetime. You understood why he made your previous deal. Demon flesh was just fine, but you really needed to spice it up to be anything special. And even then, it still couldn't compare to fresh, living, meat.
You started off just making and baking your own food. Then, when one cannibalistic child asked to try some, they told their friends, who told others.
After a while, you were cooking for half the town. You had a line every morning out of your own home. Once Rosie took notice, it was time for you to make a deal.
“Why can’t I sign a contract with you? You’ve done so much for me, I trust you with my soul.” You had taken Rosie out for dinner, where you planned to discuss a potential deal. Even with you barely being in Hell for a year, you heard plenty about Extermination Day, contracts, dealing in souls, all of it. You did your research. You talked to some of the townsfolks and saw no real downside in giving your soul away. Your proposal seems to surprise her, though.
“You still have your soul? Didn’t you make a deal with Alastor?” She asks, quieting her voice when she says his name, as if just the sound of it would make you upset. It only makes your eye twitch, though, just at the thought of the whole ordeal.
“I did, but he didn't say anything about my soul.. Was he.. Supposed to take it?” You question.
“Well.. he’s made deals like that before, favors for favors, right?” You nod. “But to go all the way to Earth just for some food? That’s.. Not like him…” Rosie seems to be lost in thought, trying to piece together his intentions. You clear your throat, and attempt to calmly bring her back. You slide a tupperware container of lady fingers you had made just before this.
“I want a restaurant, Rosie. I’ve been keeping an eye on that abandoned shop in the town square. I can feed everyone in town if you’ll let me. And.. protection, of course. Would that work?”
She opens the box with a sparkle in her black eyes, almost immediately popping one of the delicate treats to her lips. With a hum of satisfaction and a snap of her fingers, the glowing golden paper floats in front of your eyes.
“It’s a deal, darling!”
-
You could barely call it a restaurant at first, but you were elated. Rosie granted you some extra hands to make deliveries and assist in the kitchen. Everything seemed to be going your way. Your first extermination day went by quickly. For some reason, angels weren’t destroying everything in town. And you and your little shop were both safe, untouched, really.
You had a steady job, loving customers, and a residency near the center of town. You were almost surprised how having a shared interest, in eating human flesh, can bring people together. And after just a few years, you had a community.
You had a family.
Something you never really though you’d have, in life or death; A home.
Things were going so well. This was supposed to be your happy ending. It had been a few years since you had signed the contract, and you still feel satisfied with your decision. You could really be yourself here.
In Cannibal Town.
In Hell.
It made you laugh sometimes, how much joy the underworld brought you.
On a say that seemed like any other, you had sold out your stock for the day early, and went on to send the rest of yout employees home, when you heard a ruckus near the gazebo.
The screech of a microphone, and a very distant agitated Susan, is all you can truly hear from where you are. You drop everything to join the crowd.
It was the princess of Hell.. You weren’t one to keep up with politics or media, there was no need for you. You entertained yourself plenty just by residing in town. But, you managed to hear her blow up before being dragged away. A tall, rugged figure takes their place, ready to entertain the crowd while the Princess gathered herself.
“Come one, come all! While our little princess is collecting herself, who would appreciate a quick song, hm?”
“There is no fucking way..” You mutter to no one but yourself.
Alastor.
He holds his hand up to his ear, waiting patiently for the adoring crowd to praise his presence before he went on. You knew Rosie was a friend of his, he was a cannibal afterall, but for the entire town to love him just as much? Including Susan?
It’s absurd.
He went on to perform some showtune, one that sounded familiar to you. The crowd excitedly surrounds the pavilion, dragging you nearly to the front. You held a look of disgust. A look of betrayal.
You didnt want to see him, you told yourself. Things were perfect as is, you felt no need to repair a relationship with your imaginary friend you conjured up while alive.
Although, you never thought you had to. He had been gone for years, he nearly became just a passing thought.
An unreasonable part of you stayed put. A part of you wants him to see you and recognize you, to remember what he had forgotten. You stood with your arms crossed, your heart beating rapidly just at the sight of him.
He looks entirely the same, completely unphased. You’ve changed so much visually, and you’re happier now. Bolder. You’re not shying down now.
He catches your eyes.
The music screeches to a halt, sounding like a record player needle dragging across the disc. You’re holding back a smile, almost proud that you were able to stop him in his tracks. This had to be the first time he’s thought of you in over seven years.
And stops singing.
Lucky for him, the princess is finally ready to make her own point. You stick around, not exactly paying attention to her lyrics. You keep your face of disdain strong, stepping away and flinching at any advance Alastor would make to reel in the crowd. He seems to distract himself just fine until Charlie whisks away the crowd. Again, you're firmly planted in your spot.
Alastor turns to you, much more apparent of who he’s dealing with now that you stand alone from the crowd. His ears are flat against his head, and his smile is turned at the corners. His eyes seem to dart back and forth as if he’s deciding whether or not to stay. To be with you.
Oh, he’s nervous.
You’ve never seen him nervous before. It feels good. You’re making the almighty Radio Demon nervous. You smile just slightly. But not a smile between old friends, but a smile in response to his realization that he fucked up.
Despite your delay, Alastor continues on with the rest of the parade. Your body immediately lost all tension once he leaves.
-
“Well, well! I knew I recognized that menu. I was ready to tear apart some poor sinner for using my recipes.” A familiar, antagonizing voice echoes throughout your little empty shop.
You turn on your heels, almost startled by the sudden intrusion.
Almost.
But, you'd be lying if you said you weren't hoping for it.
Just a little.
Of course, he'd come back. Maybe to make another lowly deal. Or to get you to do more menial tasks for him, to flaunt his power and authority.
“Yeah, well.. when you've been left for dead, and all you have is your skills, you do what you have to, to survive.” You snap, turning your back to him to continue wiping off an already spotless counter. “Plus, it never hurts to marginalize.”
“I've actually tried some of your food here.. Hm! And I hadn't the slightest idea who prepared such a meal. You've gotten better, I'll give you that! Such a small world.” He says with a nostalgic sigh. You can hear his heels clicking throughout the empty store, circling the room before eventually approaching you.
How can he speak to you like you were still.. aquitanced?
“I hope whatever kept you busy these seven years was worth my life.” You mutter. You weren't sure if you wanted him to hear that or not. Maybe if he did, he'd finally apologize or-
“Oh, it was! A nice little sabbatical is exactly what I needed.” You quickly turn to see him polishing his claws against his coat and smiling quite brightly. “I will say it is a pleasure to be meeting you here! I'm glad you settled in so easily.”
“You killed me, Alastor! You were supposed to keep me safe.. and now I'm dead! Because you disappeared without a word!” You start to scold him, finally hitting a breaking point. All he does is scoff at you.
“Oh please, I didn't even take your soul. And it's not like you'd end up anywhere else if you were to perish later on.” He speaks so casually about it all.
But, you were ready to cry. To kick and scream at his arrogance.
The feeling of sharp fingers engulfing your shoulders leaves you suddenly tense and puts your murderous thoughts on hold. He's vanished from in front of you and now looms over you, his eyes meeting yours from over your shoulder.
“Plus, you seem to be quite happy here! Why don't we just call it even then, hm?”
He can not be serious.
You pull away from him, the tears welling in your eyes finally letting loose.
“Alastor, stop!” You yelp, turning to face him. “That’s.. so unfair! You broke a promise! And you-” you hold your finger out to scold him even more, but you feel your body simply going slack. “-you hurt me.. I just.. thought that after all that time, after that night, you'd care a little more..” You look up to him, in the hopes of being met with some sort of sympathy. But his unnatural smile goes unwavering. You rub your arm awkwardly, losing your confidence as your words turn more vulnerable without your realizing.
“Oh, I can feel your pain, not to worry dear. I truly meant no harm when I couldn't hold up my end of the deal.” He's smiling and drawing out his words, only setting off a sense of unease within you. You finally let out a shaky sigh.
“With everything you've done for me.. I thought that.. you might've liked being around me…” You let out, your voice running slightly ragged from the previous shouts. “I thought we were having a good time! Then after all this?” You grow an uncertain smile.
A previous sight that made you giddy before only brings you dread now. His ears are flat, his eyes struggle to meet yours. He's losing his composure.
“I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted it to happen.” You laugh through your words, your hands raking through your hair in a stressed manner. In your little pits of passion, you don't get the chance to see his wavering smile, the grimace on his face, any of it. When your words are met with silence, though, that's when you finally look up to him.
He's nervous, again.
“Oh.. my-” your sentence barely starts before he attempts to cover his slip up.
“Now let's calm down, I really didn't mean for- I didn't intend-”
“Isn’t there rules to this? Were you ever allowed to meddle with my life in the first place - let alone - be on Earth??”
“-God! You killed me on purpose?? Just so I could come down here to do your bitch work?” You snap, your laugh becomes delirious and your tears betray the anger you're meant to be showing.
He’s scrambling for a witty reply, his expression finally showing his true intentions for the first time in a long while. He’s speechless.
“I’m such an idiot.. Of course, you never cared. Bastard.” You mumble your words to the room, losing any fear of him hearing your insults.
Your vulnerability sends a strange shiver down his spine. One he’s never felt before, one that makes his chest ache and his muscles tense.
“Well - Now, let's just talk for a moment before you-” Alastor extends his hand out to your turned back, but it never reaches you. A delicate grip takes his wrist, bringing him to a full stop. He stops, unnaturally snapping his neck to see who would dare disrupt the Radio Demon himself.
His ears flatten against his head, and with a sudden disbelief in what he’s seeing, his eyes return to their normal crimson.
Rosie towers over his hunched form, her eyes stern.
♡♡♡
“Al, sweetheart, you gotta go. You're disturbing my client.”
I love when Alastor fucks up and found out
THIS IS A TWO PARTER I PROMISE
Tag list:
( @vififofum / @thornwolfy235 / @tinywolfiegirl / @chipper-chip / @bat-boness / @misfitgirlwrites / @nayomi247 / @lonelynmisunderstood / @escapistoftherealworld / @hamthepan / @kyo-kyo1 / @looking1016 / @polytheatrix / @littledolly2345 / @lillianastuff / @yourlocalcryptidbee / @0strawberrysorbet0 / @themageofblood / @jayyyayaysblog / @floralsightings / @azmosposts / @8har0ley8 / @actuallyspiderwoman / @sirenetheblogger / @christineblood / @kaytemchugh / @cimadreamer / @simpdevil66 / @m3ow1 / @acrazyartist / @redfoxwritesstuff / @meesachan / @corvusskid / @alientee @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx / @alon3lylov3r @sapphireravensworld / @mjmdragons / @catticora / @carrie0-1 / @shamblezzz / @cassandras-nest / @the-maladaptive-daydreamers / @str4wberry-t00th-anon / @voxrei / @raythegay )
#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#hazbin alastor#alastor#alastor x you#hazbin fanfic#hazbin fanfiction#hazbin fics
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Calling König's toddlers picky eaters is the understatement of the century, if there ever was one. The word picky does not even describe how abhorrent his children are when it comes to eating food. Unlike their father, who will virtually eat anything you put in front of him no matter if it is burnt or decayed due to how he was brought up with food being a limited supply, so he is just happy to eat for once (for context on how horrific be one time you found a whole ecosystem in a bowl in his fridge that smelt like complete rot and he said it was still fine to eat), they will refuse anything and if you dare bring new foods around them expect it to be thrown onto the floor. For weeks on end, they will refuse any other food but their current fixation, then randomly, their little minds decide one day that the food is now their greatest enemy and will refuse to eat it and anything else until they find their next fixation.
The foods they always like? The main ones are any type of fish or meat that was fried or breaded, cheese, or anything made of potatoes, cream, bread, pasta, and strawberries. The foods they always hate? The obvious ones, like most toddlers their age, are vegetables and fruits, but their hate list also includes anything new, slimy, or that smells or looks slightly off.
Given how picky they can be, König has had to become creative in getting them to eat a healthy diet.
Luckily, with having a well-paid job, a dodgy side hustle/”hobby”, and enough savings to make an average person have a heart attack König can afford to be able to get creative when he is cooking for his darlings. He will spend hours upon hours searching online for recipes and then perfecting them to make sure that the taste of vegetables will be unrecognisable so that they will finally eat them. No matter how hard or time-consuming it is, he continues to do it just because he knows it is the best for his toddlers and he can have nothing but the best for the lights of his life. After enough tests and trials with having his toddlers be his taste testers, he realised what worked best and spent thousands upon thousands of euros to get the equipment to continue doing this.
The first step König makes to put his big plan into action is to make deals with some local farmers and fishers at the market in one of the nearby villages or towns who will drop off fresh produce like meat, vegetables, fruits, grain, and dairy products for him and his kids to eat and in return, he pays them highly for both dropping off the food and giving him some of the best product. He also pays a few to help him set up his own mini farm in his garden so that he can grow a few things himself and with his toddlers so they appreciate their food more as they know where it comes from (if anyone is interested, I can expand on this idea). His next step is to order cookie cutters online, whether they be ones he had to have custom-made or ones he just found randomly when scrolling on some shopping site he had the recruits recommend him; the reason why he decides to order them is because he realised that his toddlers are more likely to eat their food or try new food if it is themed around their interests.
And, his final step is to redo his entire kitchen from the stove to the sinks to the fridge (he decides to get two double fridges rather than the single one he had before) while getting more utensils that are not the normal things like a spatula or grater as they are more appliances like food mixer for baking or a slow cooker or a rice cooker until his kitchen was full of cooking equipment. He had brought everything he could think of and that others at KorTac or online had recommended, even if it was over the top and had cost him tens of thousands of euros, but his children were worth it all, even if it was a bit of a sink in his pocket.
With his set-up complete and recipes at hand, König can begin cooking for his picky eaters. Due to his toddlers’ preference for fried food such as chicken nuggets, he will put the chicken through the grinder himself to make a paste into which he can put chopped vegetables such as onions, peppers, corn, or mushrooms into which he can then season and bread after using the cookie cutters to make special shapes such as dinosaurs or shark or stars or rockets, it just depends on his what his toddlers’ interests are. He makes tiny edits to most of the recipes, since he prefers to make the components by hand, to make them healthier so that his toddlers have all the nutrients they need so they do not suffer like he did as a child where certain nutrients were neglected in favour of others. König will then spend hours in the kitchen preparing his meals, never letting his toddlers see his crafty tricks that get them to be healthy, which he will then serve to them like it is their regular food.
Examples of the displays of main dishes he puts together for his toddlers are fried fish in the shape of sharks with vegetables cut out in the shape of fish and potatoes that look like coral as it is plated on a water/ocean-themed plate if the toddler’s interest is sharks or a mashed potato volcano with a broccoli forest and vegetable shavings grass with dinosaur nuggets running away as it is plated on a forest-themed plate if the toddler’s interest is dinosaurs or vegetable shavings grass with chicken nuggets in the shape of bunnies with potato fries in the shape of Easter eggs or carrots as it is plated on a grassland-themed plate if the toddler’s interest is bunnies as Miffy has been getting extremely popular or alien shaped chicken or fish nuggets with mashed potato meteors, vegetables shaped into planets or stars, and one massive fry in the shape of a rocket as it is placed on a galaxy-themed plate if the toddler’s interest is the stars and space. Normally, the main dishes will come with a side of any food group he does not add to the main dish, or it may be extras he thinks his toddlers will like but wants them to control the amount they have, like a mixture of cheese he shredded or others vegetables he cut up that they can use to break up their main meal or a fresh bun he had brought.
While the examples of desserts and snacks he makes for his toddlers are milk bread sandwiches with a filling of cream, jam, and fruits that are cut into any shapes his toddlers want that day, or he will use an ice cream machine he brought to make a more healthy version of ice cream that he will sneak more fruits into that he thinks will match the flavour (such as strawberries and blueberries or peaches added into vanilla ice cream or bananas added into vanilla ice cream) with frozen or dried fruit shavings as a topping or a snack they can chew on in the middle of the day or tiny, or little cupcakes filled with fruit pieces and topped with homemade cream that can fit into their tiny little hands as he uses cut up fruits to add features such as spines or bunny ears or marshmallows with details on like stars or paw prints or specially shaped pancakes that are decorated with fruits and whipped cream to give details to make it look like their interests like dinosaurs or cats.
But this is not everything. With the countless recipes he has, he can make countless displays so that his toddlers are never bored. He may substitute one ingredient for another if he wants his children to try new foods or if he wants to change the taste slightly to stop boredom. He may substitute and swap options for new variety or when he thinks his kids are lacking, as he just wants to make sure they are healthy and try any food possible.
#cod#call of duty#konig#könig#könig call of duty#könig cod#cod konig#konig cod#konig call of duty#konig mw2#cod fluff#fluff#konig fluff#konig fanfiction#könig fanfiction#könig mw2#könig fluff#fluff headcanons#könig headcanons#konig headcanons#ozzie's headcanons#ozzie's könig headcanons#ozzie's dad!könig headcanons#dad!könig#dad!könig headcanons#domestic!könig headcanons#domestic fluff#dad fluff#ozzie's domestic!könig headcanons
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Wolf Hybrid Sugar Mommy/Daddy Yan for bunnyboy streamer.... May have been a tiny bit interested in eating the rabbit, but their sweet tooth is bigger than their hunger for meat. Keeps the home baker as their personal chef and bed warmer. Gets them private lessons and takes them to farmer's markets on weekends. Sees no need in using plates and eats most of their sweets out of their pet's hands or straight off their chest. Bunnyboy now realizes the importancy of online safety, but they've got access to such high end ingredients and living they don't know what to do about their situation
#yandere oc#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere x you#yandere headcanons#yandere blurb#yandere hybrid#yandere scenarios
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avi rates jewish foods
difficulty scale i'll rate these on a scale from 1 to 4, 1 being beginner friendly and 4 being difficult. (i'm not going to rate any recipes that are like ridiculously difficult bc the point of this project is to encourage more ppl to cook these recipes!)
to determine difficulty, i'll average these four categories:
how much active work? (chopping veggies, breading meat, making dumplings, kneading bread, etc.)
1 - little to none; this would be easy to throw together at the last minute or if you need to just toss something in the slow cooker. 2 - some; the recipe did require some time to prep the ingredients but it would be fine for an average weeknight dinner. 3 - a fair amount; a little too taxing to make every night, but i'd make a recipe like this once a week for a nice shabbat dinner. 4 - a lot; this required a lot of work, and i'd probably only do it for special occasions like high holy days or seders.
how easily can you get the ingredients? (i'm working under the assumption that you have access to a grocery store. i'm in the us so that's my frame of reference but ymmv)
1 - i was able to easily find all the ingredients in my local grocery store. 2 - i was able to find almost all the ingredients in my local grocery store; there were one or two specialty ingredients that i needed to get at an international market or order online, but hypothetically you could make it yourself or substitute it for something easier to find and it would not affect the recipe. 3 - i was able to find some of the ingredients in my local grocery store; there were several specialty ingredients that i needed to get at an international market or order online, and technically you could make it yourself or substitute it for something easier to find but it would probably be more difficult and would likely affect the recipe. 4 - i had to get several specialty ingredients at the international market or order online; you might be able to make it yourself or substitute for something easier to find, but it would be very difficult and definitely affect the recipe.
what kind of cookware do you need? (i'm considering "the basics" to be: a pot and pan, spoon, knife, stove/oven)
1 - just the basics. 2 - would be easier with one or two specialty utensils but you can still make it without. 3 - probably need one or two specialty utensils to make it correctly. 4 - you definitely need specialty utensils to make it correctly.
what kind of kitchen skills do you need?
1 - can you boil water? can you chop a vegetable? you can make this. 2 - would be helpful to know some basics (knife skills, sauteing, etc.) 3 - you need to know some intermediate skills (frying, basic bread making, etc) 4 - you need to know or learn some fairly advanced techniques.(higher level bread making, special techniques that apply to the recipe, etc.)
personal rating
1 - did not like, could not finish it. 2 - it was ok, but i wouldn't eat it again. 3 - good, i wouldn't go out of my way to make it again, but i would happily eat it if someone served it to me. 4 - really good, i would make this again. 5 - excellent, i am adding this to my regular rotation.
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#lifestyle#food#dinner#Dinner ideas#Easy dinner ideas#Dinner recipes#Dinner ideas healthy#Healthy dinner ideas#Quick dinner ideas#Easy dinner recipes for family#Easy dinner ideas for family#Dinner ideas for two#Easy dinner ideas healthy#Dinner ideas for tonight#Easy dinner ideas for two#Dinner ideas for two easy#Dinner ideas vegetarian#Quick and easy meals#Dinner ideas easy#Quick dinner ideas for 2#Easy weeknight dinners for family#Dinner ideas for two healthy#Dinner menu#Recipe tutorials#Quick meals#Healthy recipes#Vegan cooking#Vegetarian dishes#Meal planning#Budget meals
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Manhood Exchange
The premise is based on a story I read a while back and forgot to bookmark. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.
I was in a shopping mall when I got the notification on my phone. Out of habit I just tapped the icon and suddenly I got a large, erect cock filling the phone screen. I immediately became aware of where I was and had a few seconds of panic before reassuring myself that no one else saw it. I moved a few steps to somewhere less open, where no one could walk behind me, and had a look again.
It was beautiful. Massive and uncut, with the skin pulled back to expose the pink, gleaming head. Actually the entire cock glistened like he had made a few strokes with precum on his hand and then positioned himself with just the right lighting to make the veins pop a little extra. The truly remarkable part was however the overlay at the bottom of the screen. "$400, quick trade"
I'd been on the Manhood Exchange app long enough to know a cock like this is usually hundred times that price, if not more. Whatever impression you've got from watching porn, people are on a bell curve with cock sizes, and the ones on the higher end of the scale aren't selling. All the people who used to compensate with a big truck suddenly ended up in the same market, competing for the same cocks, and they make a hell of a lot more big trucks than big cocks. Oddly enough there was a market for really small cocks as well, not quite as high prices, but just as small supply. Normal people like me in the middle of the bell curve with no cash to buy and no cock to sell just had to make do.
It's not enough for a cock to just enter the market either, which itself is a thread to needle with the 18-35 eligible age span and clean health declaration. For you to find one it has to be bio-compatible for science reasons and roughly the same race for ethics reasons, though the latter is just a matter of money. Obviously I tapped the "Deal!" button in the app before I even checked out his profile. With that kind of cock everyone would know you either had a shit ton of money, or you could get it by selling. The profile didn't add much though. Just more good-looking images of him and his cock. A text message function as well, but was there really anything to talk about?
You'd think I'd be a bit more careful swapping cock with another man, especially since you can't swap again until all the cells have been replaced because of some quantum spin entanglement bullshit. Ten years with bad meat is a long wait, but I already knew he was a bio-match and healthy, so it was more Fear Of Missing Out. I had some shit I hope I could fence, so I took an instant online loan and had the whole deal closed before I'd passed Baskin Robbins on the way out. Both I and my normal size cock were excited.
Just ten minutes later the phone chimed again with a proposed time for the swap at 7:20 pm, almost three hours away. Though I didn't know anything about this less than an hour ago, any delay felt too long, like I hadn't realized how much I wanted this. What it would mean for my position in the crew. Every minute of waiting was a minute where something could derail everything. My phone could be stolen. The exchange could cancel it for some reason. I tapped "Accept" and headed home with the phone in a secure grip in my pocket.
The instructions after I had accepted were straightforward. Be seated with a naked crotch and open the app ten minutes before the scheduled time for exchange. I decided to be pantsless until then just to be safe, and I set three alarms on the phone. One at 6:50 to sit down, if I wasn't already sitting, one at 7:05 to be ready, and one at 7:09 to open the app. I sent a text to Shawn and told him I wouldn't be joining the crew until later, if at all. No details of why.
Then I just sat down in the comfy chair. Three hours to go. I was only wearing my hat, socks, and T-shirt. And my bling of course. The sweatpants and my trunks were in a pile on the floor, and the phone was charging next to me. My cock was pointing almost straight up.
I realized that it would only be my cock for another few hours or so, and I should say goodbye properly. Normally I would jerk off in the shower or in front of the computer, but since I was already perfectly seated and with an erect cock in front of me I just grabbed it and started to remember all the highlights we'd had. When my neighbor Jamar excited came over and wanted to show me something. He was a few years older, but still occasionally spent some time with me. He showed me into the bathroom, lowered his pants, and told me to do the same. Then he showed me that by pulling on his cock he could get it to "bend" in his words. I remembered waking up one early morning with my boxers wet and worried I'd peed my bed. To my surprise they were filled with slime, but just to be safe I put them under the bed to dry so my mother wouldn't know. I remembered that time I got an erection during a movie screening, and slowly wanked but desperately trying to avoid cumming or anyone else noticing what I did.
I remembered the first time I had sex, the first porn I jerked off to, the first time a date ended in sex, the first time I had sex in a car, the first time I jerked off to a porn video on my mobile. All while doing this I tried to go as slow as I could, like at the movie. Flashing before me were dates, partners, and porn stars, while the top of my cock had some frothy pre-cum. I was shocked when the alarm went off. How the fuck could time have moved that fast. I scrambled to get hold of an old T-shirt within reach, and pretty quickly came into it with a few pumps of cum. Not really the satisfying climax I had envisioned.
Suddenly time was moving slowly again, and I was stuck watching dried off, limp cock in front of me. I became self-conscious about how it looked, worried about if the seller would cancel the trade last minute seeing what a lousy deal it was for him. He'd seen my photos already though, but they were taken erect and with good lighting. What was the cancellation policy anyway? The next alarm went off. Why did I even set that one? I was getting nervous. What if it hurt? There was a lot of news about misteleportations some years ago, and this was way more complicated. I didn't even understand how it worked. I knew the basics of standard teleportation from school. Every particle is a probability wave that exists everywhere, but the probability of it actually being at a specific point is overwhelming. By manipulating the quantum state you can poke the probability so that it is more likely to be somewhere else. Just a change in probability, so it can move instantaneously anywhere in the universe, given enough math. Swapping body parts between people was way harder, so it was bound to have lots of issues that could happen.
The last alarm interrupted my train of thought. I kind of felt not ready. Rich people did this, so it should be safe to do I reasoned, and tapped the activation button on the phone.
"This will start a legally binding contract with Manhood Exchange Incorporated adjudicated in the state of Delaware. Please identify yourself." the phone voice said. I pressed the white circle on the screen with my identification finger, the middle one of course.
"Please sign that you are aware that concluding this transaction will replace your penis, testicles, prostate, and relevant connecting tissue, glands, and other structures with a third party as preliminary agreed." I pressed the circle again, wondering what would happen if I didn't. The $400 would certainly be gone.
"Please sign that you are aware that this is a one-time transfer option with Manhood Exchange Incorporated that cannot be reversed through quantum transplantation." I pressed the circle a third time.
"Please sign that you are aware that both set of testicles will be made infertile through this swap." I pressed the circle a fourth time, not so nervous I barely registered what I had signed. The screen of the phone changed to showing a live video from my selfie camera, showing me half-naked in my lounge chair. "Tap to connect" it said on the screen. I did.
The image quickly changed to show the man from the photos lying down in a white, far more upscale couch than I was sitting in. "Yo, man. You ready to do this?" he asked. His erect cock was just as big as it had looked on the photos, almost looking bigger as it was swaying with his breathing. The instructions on the screen said "Verify the other party is the selected exchange party and that he is seated with exposed crotch."
"Yeah, let's do it." I said, and tapped the Verified button on the screen. I could see from his motions that he did the same, and a timer started on the screen, counting down to 7:20. "So, will it fit in speedos?" I blurted out, still feeling nervous and with several minutes to kill. He chuckled. "Shorts are better for swimming, but you want some tight trunks to keep it in place when you're wearing normal clothes. I use compression shorts a lot."
"Well, you can use whatever with mine."
The last 40 seconds we just stared at the countdown in silence. The actual swap was instant, almost silent, though I wouldn't be able to describe the sound, and without any shimmers of light as you can sometimes see when teleporting. It felt like someone spilled warm water over my crotch, though that quickly went away, but it was replaced with the most amazing, intense horny hardon I've ever felt. It was like the cock was buzzing, craving attention. "Enjoy the wank" the other guy said. "What? Oh. Thanks!" I said and the video was closed from his side.
I grabbed the cock with my hand and instantly felt the difference in size. It was almost the size of my wrist. I just moved my hand up and a trickle of precum oozed out and trickled down over my fingers. I leaned back, closed my eyes, and continued where I had left off, thinking about the most recent porn videos, and in not too long I could feel the buildup of a climax, only this time I was unable to force it back. It just kept building and building, and I think I actually moaned out loud as the first rope of cum erupted. Then another one, and another one. Then I had to open my eyes to look at the mess, and it wasn't any small squirts of cum either. It looked almost comical how my T-shirt was completely soaked in cum, and I was still pumping out a few more ropes.
To my amazement the cock was still semi-erect. I got up and hurried to the bathroom and threw the cum-wet T-shirt. After a quick look at my sticky chest I decided to have a shower. I stripped out of the few remaining items I had on and proceeded to have another wank in the shower. This one lasted a bit longer and produced slightly less cum, but it was still a shocking amount.
I had barely dried and put on my underwear before the new cock started to firm up again. I grabbed the phone and sent a text to the seller in the app. "What the hell is happening with my cock? Were you always hard?"
The app sat silent for a few minutes until a response chimed. "It's called hyperspermia. It's a genetic condition, so not a disease in Manhood Exchange's definition. You'll learn to cope several hours between wanks. It was the precum that bothered me the most. Just drink a lot of water, always wear a condom, and compression shorts really help, as I said. Good luck!"
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Wolf Therian Tips!
You have a divine taste in prey ! And I must say , your packmates must be proud of your agility ! Come over here and listen to my tips and activities for wolf therians!
Eating and Food
Wolves are practically known for their carnivore based appetite , so well known that some people fear they might attack humans. I dont really recommend eating people since it’s kind of illegal and immoral but here’s some other options!
Eat a lot of meat , obviously balance your diet but go to the market and buy chicken . Chicken is a good choice because it usually has the bones still so you can get lots of gnawing and ripping out from it . Also be sure to wash and clean the bones if you’d like to keep them . No one likes a den that smells like rotting chicken .
Activities and Behavior
Find a pack. There are thousands of online packs or mixed packs out there, but if you’d prefer a in-person pack then go searching for packs in your area. Also GO CAMPING. I recommend this to any canine therian because camping is just so good for canines. You can hear the wolves at night and play in the river , lots of amazing opportunities for quads . You can also howl at night, if you live in an area with lots of coyotes , most people won’t tell the difference and will leave you alone. Going on hikes is a great way to analyze habitats .
Gear and Species Dysphoria
Bite species dysphoria in the tail . We know it sucks. Although you don’t need gear or quads to be a therian it may be helpful to have some form of tail .(please make sure your tail is not from a fur farm , buying fake ones are better than abuse) .If you cannot purchase a tail due to being a minor or other reasons , then you can make some very easily! On my coyote tips post, I linked a video for how to make a yarn tail. Check that out if you’d like . You can also make a tail through blankets and a belt . Simply attach the belt to your waist and feed a blanket through the buckle and knot it, move the tail to your back and enjoy your temporary tail! This is good if you are in a shift and need to aid your phantom limbs.
#Wolf#therianthropy#therian#therian community#therian things#theriotype#wolf kin#wolf theriotype#wolfkin#wolf therian#therian tips#alterhuman#canine theriotype#canine
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