#one piece fan letter was REALLY fucking good btw

[sanji-screenshots]

package deal.png

[hohoz]

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise. 

But let’s explain why is that: 

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad. 

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away. 

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary) 

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake. 

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK  you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall. 

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story. 

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that) 

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog) 

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this: 

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue. 

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this: 

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening. 

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ? 

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore) 

RESIDENT EVIL 5 

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this: 

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit. 

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles. 

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE. 

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US. 

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life. 

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time. 

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event) 

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex 

 So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab” 

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character. 

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6 

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game. 

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command 

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC 

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS. 

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that. 

So now let’s analyse what we know: 

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse... 

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this: 

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model) 

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8 

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that” 

But still... 

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8  

(to me this is some random dude from Russia) 

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER) 

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices. 

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations) 

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy. 

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old. 

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

[shijiujun]

On Translations

Once again, I’m just plain incensed by dumbasses who think it’s okay to firstly, steal someone else’s hard work and secondly, think they’ve got some right to edit that person’s work because they think they’ve got a better grip on English (not true btw) - It didn’t happen to me (well, as far as I know) and I’m not in the Guardian fandom and I don’t personally know the person who’s dealing with this ridiculous shit, but oof am I angry after seeing the tweet.

Just saw on twitter that some asshole stole a translator’s works (Guardian, Chinese to English) and edited it - Yes it’s just like the MDZS saga a few weeks ago when some white person who doesn’t have any Chinese language knowledge, tried to ‘improve’ translations done by another person who actually knows what they’re doing in both Chinese and English - And then put in on Wattpad with a ridiculous letter and intro where they said: “Great things can be made greater” to explain why they edited the English of the original translation.

“Great things can be made greater,” said the thief.

“I hope my actions will be appreciated,” said the thief again.

Like wow, once again, the audacity - There’ve been extensive arguments on translations since the MDZS saga a few weeks ago and obviously the fan who took ExR’s translations and ‘made them better’ stupidly stepped on a landmine by fucking with the MDZS fandom that has a longer history, more resources and clout than the amount of time she’s been exposed to MDZS via CQL, and got bitch-slapped by the rest of the fandom where there exists a majority of fans knowing clearly what to do and not to do.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said of all fandoms, especially smaller ones - The user i saw is a translator for Guardian and the mofo 1. Stole their translations 2. Edited the translations to ‘better english’ 3. Wrote that they don’t know who did the original translations but “they know where to find me” *cue my eyeroll* 4. And after op commented to say please credit at the very least in May, they’ve been ignored so far - but luckily they’ve got some supporters as well to help report the mofo.

Aside from the ridiculous thievery (not crediting, blatantly lying and stealing, being an arrogant, indecent person stuck on that high horse) of course, the “I believe that great things can be made greater” is a fucking load of bullshit in this instance, and I mean taking someone else’s translations and adding your own spin to it because you think you’ve taken tests in English as a first language in school all your life (fuck off, a lot of these translators did too), that you’ve got some superiority over English or because you think it reads funny?

Granted, most fan translators don’t put up flawless translations (once again, these translators are FREE LABOUR), but you get it for free and you don’t have to (and can’t) read the original text, so suck it up.

Moreover, the disgust that I feel at the claim that the thief’s work is now ‘greater’ is extremely visceral - It’s not a greater piece of work because the thief stole it, period. No one asked for the thief’s help.

(In case you guys are curious the stolen post on Wattpad is here: https://my.w.tt/7dehLj7D56 and if you’d like to report just follow the instructions)

On Chinese to English translations:

1. If you don’t have good grasp of the original language, you have no right editing the translated work after, regardless of language. Until you can clearly understand the original idioms, context, characters etc. or have at least lived with the language for a substantial part of your life, honestly, just stop, you’ve got no right! 

Sure, some translators aren’t as good as you like them to be, but the argument is always, well, you wouldn’t even have this minimal translation if they didn’t do it, so yay you’re like a few sentences and words closer to the text than you were before. If it’s really that bad, hopefully there are better translations and you can ignore the one you’re looking at, but the same rules apply across all translations!! Don’t disrespect the translator (especially when they’ve done nothing wrong except try to give you access to more content).

2. For Chinese, it’s even worse because the language is known for its hidden nuances and complexities within just two to four characters that, when translated into English, can sometimes take up to two long sentences to explain. That’s why sometimes shit reads funny. It’s not that these translators can’t do English, but Chinese to English acrobatics is beyond your comprehension, hell sometimes it’s beyond translators’ comprehension, so thanks for editing something you’ve got no idea about. This user Bee made a very good argument thread IMO about this on Twitter which I suggest people read

3. Adding your edits to a translated piece of work especially without permission or discussion with the translator, honestly who the fuck are you to do that? Either work your damn ass off by painstakingly translating the original and then editing it however you like, or just... enjoy the free content. Chinese BL novels (in this instance and as in many instances i’ve seen) and some of these translators have been around for longer than you’ve been in the fandom, so suddenly when you have an interest in the content, in a culture and language that you’ve never seen before, are unfamiliar with and have zero knowledge about, you think that as a fan you now have the right to edit someone else’s work that was already done correctly? 

The fact is if the translator wrote a bogus line in the English translations, you wouldn’t have known, and when you upload it as your own and ‘improve’ it, you would be a joke, but you didn’t read the original text did you, so what makes you are any sort of authority to edit the translations?

4. Of course this is not to say that non-Chinese speaking people can’t enjoy the same content or have excellent, poignant discussions and understanding over the content, but honestly a lot of translations don’t capture 100% of a Chinese novel because the nuances are just that complex, and translators do their best to convey it regardless - This is why RESPECT FOR THE TRANSLATOR IS IMPORTANT. And I don’t mean simply paying lip service and typing “we respect all translators for their hard work on this work”, and then disrespect it entirely by not crediting, by the simple act of editing without permission etc.

Respect their interpretation and translations, because it can differ from translator to translator translating the same sentence (and people who don’t speak the original language want to compete with that, I don’t understand?!)

5. Honestly, considering how people are still arguing on the semantics of the Bible for example, not only in its original language but also in English alone - if people can’t agree on every sentence of the holy text and what each sentence means to different people, fan translators get a fucking pass

6. I read in Bee’s threads where someone disagreed with their argument of ‘only people who understand the original language can translate and edit’, saying that it’s okay if the editor doesn’t have a grasp of the original language - I understand that yes, someone else’s English might truly be better (for e.g. actual editors but also please don’t proclaim that you’re one just because you think the translator hasn’t lived with English for most of their lives or whatever), but even then, the editor has to work really closely with the translator because the translator is the primary source of the translation i.e. they know exactly what is going on in a particular sentence in their heads that may not have been translated fully, so how can non-Chinese reading editors truly understand the translated text on its own, editing in silos?

7. Perhaps in actual publishing houses that deal with official translations, this is a fallacy that is ever-present and editors do that anyway without understanding the original text (not sure about this, I’m bringing up the point for consideration, hypothetically putting this out here), but my issue with ‘editors’ in the fan translations space is that they come off sitting on some high horse because they think they’re better in English than you are (which of course yes, might be true, but then read points 1-6 again)

8. A thief is a thief, don’t put up an open letter or disclaimer explaining your motivations. It’s plain and simple, you stole someone else’s work, claimed it for your own and are riding on the great (sometimes not so great but still great, if you get what I mean) work that the translator did. You don’t get to claim ownership for any part of it, even your edits. And once again, “original work belongs to the translators” without actually naming the translators? Fuck off.

9. God, I hate Wattpad and Instagram (okay sometimes Twitter but Twitter seems to be a halfway point) - The Sanctuaries for Lazy Content Thieves Where The Platform Endorses Their Shitty Behaviour

10. Aside from translations, I’ve also seen assholes stealing like shitposts and jokes - These are the hardest to prove as well and it’s almost impossible to claim ownership when someone steals your jokes. Thieves only wish they had as creative a brain as some of you (didn’t happen to me but to a mutual) do. The audacity. The audacity! if the work was actually done and paid and recorded, if TurnItIn.com was available for fandom posts, these thieves would be out of gas.

11. Fan translators are not obligated to answer to any of their readers when it comes to why they translated something a certain way. You don’t like it or don’t agree with it, simply ignore, close the tab and go find another translation you like, it’s that simple. Nowadays readers 1. Threaten/Diss the translator directly and rudely 2. Steal the work 3. Add their own spin on it without understanding the original content and say: Yay! Look at this I made it so much better so give me some attention 

*****

The point of this post is not to claim ownership over any fandom or content just because translators or Chinese-speaking/reading people in the fandom know the content better. It’s also not to say that non-Chinese speaking/reading people can’t enjoy, understand, have great discussions over original Chinese content, because just from MDZS alone you can see that they can. Of course there are also individuals who might not be able to speak the language but are familiar with Chinese culture etc. because they’ve studied or lived it well, or maybe they’ve actually watched decades of Chinese drama to be able to analyse it properly now, all that’s awesome. 

Also, I’m all for people who are learning Chinese (or any language for that matter) to translate something as practice. That’s great, that’s good, that’s to be admired!! 

It’s non-Chinese speaking/reading people who claim they know the original content better than translators without any discussions, claiming some superiority over the content because they think the translation is not done well enough without doing any of the ground work that I really have an issue with (and also the fuckers who steal of course XD).

*****

And unfortunately I had too much time on my hands today and got pissed off after seeing the tweet so some of you have to read through this drivel XD

[yelenasdog]

unknown desires (spencer reid x russell holmes) (i’m so sorry BFRHEKRB)

really all i have to say about this is what the fuck and why the fuck. I DESERVE NO RIGHTS. enjoy i guess??? if u found this while searching for some reid x reader there’s plenty of that on my account!! 

i’m deleting this bye ok-

btw it’s set at the end of s9 ep18 and then ends probably around s13?? idk. also listen to billie eilish’s “i love you” to be extra sad bc this is lowkey kinda angsty and lowkey a mess but im throwing it at u ok bye!

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary”- Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven

Spencer shouldn't have been so drawn the first time he saw Russell in person. He shouldn't have been drawn at all.

He was a victim, someone who the young doctor had stared at a photo of for days while planning his rescue.

Although he didn't feel the initial electricity, he was far too buried in the case to think about Russell's kind puppy dog eyes or plump, rosy lips. Yes, far too busy to even fathom thinking of the way his raven locks that Edgar Allan Poe himself would be jealous of complimented his ivory skin, even for an inkling of a moment. He couldn’t bear to do such a thing.

But then, there was after the case, that day at the hospital. There was loss, it was hard to see. But yet again, he saw it every day.

His brain was fuzzy, and he seemed to be more heavily affected by this case than any previous endeavors. He wasn’t sure as to why.

It had him lost in his own thoughts, swimming in a pool of unknown desires.

So lost in fact, so drowned in his daydream, that he was barely aware of the person that had been wheeled over in his general vicinity.

It was him. His pink pout (that was more of a smile) was busted, no doubt, and his porcelain skin had cuts littered among it, but god, it was him.

He should have been disgusted, scared even. The man had rabies! And this was doctor Reid we’re talking about, the biggest possible germaphobe. But he couldn’t bring himself, he was too infatuated. Not that he would admit to it, though.

And he apparently had heard about Spence and his displeasure with even slightly unsanitary situations, as he chose to greet (and simultaneously say goodbye) to the doctor with a simple wave and bashful smile.

Spencer returned it in the same manner. The interaction was quick, too quick. It also warmed his heart to a full extent.

Russell was whisked away by a nurse, looking back reluctantly at the three agents that had saved his life, specifically a certain brown haired doctor, wanting to encapsulate his stunning image in his mind.

Spencer stuck to a cycle. Save, move on, repeat. It was easiest to do so rather than deal with any tag along, unwanted, painful emotions. 

Because that’s all love was. 

Crude and abrupt pain. But despite this, he found himself asking Garcia for Russell's current home address. His own actions confused him, but nonetheless, he held his head high as he exited the batcave towards the light, clutching a paper with the info in his hands. 

He knew he didn’t need it. But he refused to face the (impossible) possibility to forget this information, to forget Russell.

The paper was wrinkled and dampened from his gorilla grip by the time he had arrived. He flattened it out with shaky hands, grabbing a fresh piece of parchment.

“Hello, I'm Doctor Spencer Reid.”

No, no, too formal. He erased it.

“Greetings, I’m Spencer Reid.”

What was he, an alien? Even though many members of the team thought so, he decided against giving Russell Holmes that opportunity. And then it was gone in the wind with a few swipes from his pencil eraser.

“Hi! I’m Dr. Spencer Reid, I was one of the agents that assisted on your case. I hope this message finds you well. I’m just checking in to see how you’re healing.”

Spencer scoffed at himself out loud. “just checking in”, his ass. He continued writing and with very low expectations, he sent off the letter.

------

“I'll be just a minute, Mom!” Russell hollered through his home as he went to go check the mail. He walked down to the mailbox, limping ever so slightly, still in recovery. He flipped through the various envelopes, doing a double take when he saw a certain name.

Doctor Spencer Reid

Apartment 23A

Wilcox Road, Quantico, Virginia, 22134

He tore into the message immediately, a growing smile resting on his face as he read.

“Hi! I’m Doctor Spencer Reid, I was one of the agents who assisted on your case. I hope this message finds you well. I’m just checking in to see how you’re healing. How's your mother been since her surgery? I hope she is doing well, too. If you need anything don’t hesitate to write back or call the number at the bottom of the page. Yet again, I'm glad we could get you home, perhaps to your boyfriend/ girlfriend, or wife/husband.

Best regards, Spencer.”

He was off the walls with excitement. There was a newfound pep in his step as he made his way up the driveway, no doubt planning on writing back.

“Dr. Reid, I appreciate you checking in on me. I do not regret informing you that there is no boyfriend or girlfriend here, just my mother and I while we both recover...”

-----

Glee and bliss. Those were the two things that could no doubt be used to describe the relationship between Spencer Reid and Russell Holmes.

Although it was nothing too formal, exchanges of news about mothers or about how work was going was going on either side soon became much more deep, bringing the two closer than imaginable, even from 689 miles apart.

Never meeting again in person, the situation reminded him all too much of Maeve, but nonetheless, to him, Russell was worth it. So they talked, and talked, for years and years on end. 

They both felt a warm fuzzy feeling in their chest, quite able to place the cause on one another. 

Then one day, they stopped. 

Spencer had gotten home from a long case, and was very much so looking forward to an uplifting note from his distanced lover. But to his surprise, there was nothing. 

Although he found it odd, he blew it off, considering the possibility of getting lost in the post, running some stat to calm himself. Pulling out his cell, he dialed the number that he had saved of Russell's if for some reason the letters were to become inadequate. Voice mail. And voicemail again, and again, and again. Spencer tried for days and weeks, but to no avail, he was met with radio silence.

Until one day, if it was fateful or not is up to you.

 It was sunny in August, and Spencer Reid was not a fan. 

After sweating around all day (he wasn’t sure what it meant either), he made his way to his apartment. He stripped down to his slacks and undershirt, waltzing around his apartment with a water bottle in hand.

knock knock

He squinted his honey eyes, confusion flooding his body. He cautiously approached the door, keeping his revolver in his peripheral vision, compliments of his paranoia.

Another two knocks sounded, but before a third could ring out, he swung the door open.

He gasped, his jaw water bottle falling out of his hand and rolling into the hallway.

“Russ?”

“Hi, Spence.”

He wanted to hug him, he wanted to kiss him, God, he wanted to-

“I felt like I needed to tell you in person.”

His heart dropped to his feet as Russell's own shaky hand presented itself, in it, a white envelope, similar to the one that started their not-so extravagant rondevu.

“W-what is this, Russ?” he opened with nimble fingers, sliding it from its encasement.

Join soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Russell and Jane Holmes-

He didn’t read the rest, he didn’t need to, and couldn't. Tears made their way to both men’s eyes, threatening with such a fierce hostility to spill.

“I’m so sorry, Spence.”

This warranted no response from the doctor. He looked blankly behind Russ, his mind running a million miles a minute. With his head hung in a terrible shame, Russell turned to leave.

He was shocked when he was stopped by Spencer grabbing him by his blue and red plaid shirt, pulling him back.

“Wait.”

He turned, his hazel eyes just barely meeting Spencer's own of the same color.

“Do you love her?”

He pondered for a moment, before nodding slightly.

“Yes, I,” he paused. “Yes.”

Spencer bit his bottom lip briefly, before making a choice he knew he would regret.

He gripped him by the collar of his shirt, smashing their lips together for the first time and the last.

It should have been sweet, it should have been everything he hoped for and more. It should have been a reunion as glorious as they both could have imagined.

But instead, it was a mixture of salty tears, as their lips moulded together like they were made for each other. He pulled away, trying to maintain a strong facade.

“Good.”

And with that, he took one more look, before committing him to a memory, and nothing else.

He shut his door, sliding down against it and silently sobbing, pulling at his curls as tears racked his body. He heard smaller footsteps pad up the staircase, stopping next to where he left a dumbstruck and emotion ridden Russell.

“Hey, sweetheart, is your friend going to be able to make it?” She rubbed his shoulder lovingly, so incredibly oblivious and unaware of the previous happenings.

He put a remorseful hand on hers, watching how her engagement ring shimmered, even in the dim lighting.

He put on a false smile for his future wife he thinks he loves. “I think he’s a bit busy, he said he needs to review the date.” He spoke loudly, hoping Spencer could hear him through the thick door.

She frowned, nodding in what was her understanding of it all.

“Well, I hope he can make it, he must be important if you came all the way here to deliver this for him!”

He smiled genuinely, thinking of all the letters sent and hours spent.  

“Yeah, more than he knows.”

It wasn't until after he heard their steps retrieve, and their car start up and go, that he picked up the card to finish reading it.

He ran his finger over the gold raised trim, the feeling giving him goosebumps. He read the front and flipped it over, seeing an all too familiar hand writing underneath the date that the supposed union was to be held.

I'm sorry, I love you.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

literally what the fuck was that ffwbfbfbkfw what do i even tag this?? im so sorry. also this is my first character x character be nice

[lesbianlovelanguage]

can I request 25 from the fanfic prompt list? from stranger-steeb 🧡🧡🧡

Of course you can hun! Thank you for it💛💛💛 @stranger-steeb

25. “I could tell it was your favorite book because of all the notes you wrote in the margins.”

—

Steve hated English class.

Not only was the teacher a spawn of Satan himself, but he didn’t get it. At least math had rules. He wasn’t good at following them, but he knew where he went wrong.

In english he never understood what he got wrong, until Billy Hargrove came along.

They had been in the same third-period english class for almost half of a semester when Billy suddenly decided to take an interest in Steve’s academic life.

He sat directly behind Steve, and when Ms. Lillith passed back their book reports on Great Expectations, he peeked over Steve’s shoulder to see the bright red F.

“Damn, Pretty Boy. All looks and no brain huh? How did you fail a paper like this?” He shook his own book report, which proclaimed Billy had earned an A+ in the same red script.

“Like you said Hargrove. I’m a fucking dumbass. Now piss off.” Steve turned around and resolutely ignored Billy’s constant pestering for the rest of the period. When the bell rang, he was the first one out of his seat and out the door.

-

Robin was home sick, and Steve still couldn’t be around Nancy and Johnathan for too long without feeling a piece of his heart break, so he was sitting alone in the library during lunch, attempting to decode Ms. Satan’s comments on his paper between bites of ham and cheese.

He was so invested in trying to understand the jumble of letters her cursive always turned into that he hadn’t noticed someone else slid into the chair across from him until he felt a boot push against his shin and a whispered voice.

“Stevie. Psst. Stevie.” Billy was terrible at whispering.

“What do you want Hargrove?” Steve snapped, already feeling a headache forming.

“Such venom Pretty Boy! I just wanted to see what King Steve is doing eating lunch by himself. Must be important to drag you away from your adoring fans.” Billy had an innocent smile, but the glint in his eye was teasing as he snatched the paper out of Steve’s hands. “Is this that book report?”

“Yeah, dickhead. It’s also none of your business.” But Billy wasn’t listening to Steve any more, instead reading over his paper and making a face Steve couldn’t read.

“Damn Stevie. You didn’t tell me you had dyslexia. Now I feel like a real asshole,” Billy said, setting the stack of papers down.

“You are a real asshole. And I don’t have some disease, so fuck off.” He expected Billy to finally leave, but he was never one to do what Steve expected.

Instead of walking away, Billy seemed to settle further in his seat, and pulled out a green pen. He looked at Steve with a raised eyebrow and grabbed the paper back.

“Do you even know what dyslexia is Steve?” Thrown off by the use of his actual first name, Steve just shook his head quietly. “It’s a learning disorder. Doesn’t mean your stupid though. Means your brain works differently.”

“Thank you Dr. Phil. Can I have my paper back? I need to figure out what she wrote so I can work on the next one,” Steve made another attempt to grab his paper back, but Billy leaned back in his chair and held it over his head.

“I could help with that. I could be, like your tutor, or some shit.” Steve stopped reaching across the table and stared at Billy, puzzled.

“You, Billy Hargrove, want to be my tutor?”

“Why not? We’re amigos after all. Can’t have you flunking out, where’s the fun in that?”

Steve bit his lip as he thought about his options. Billy was a grade A asshole, but he did have like straight As too.

“Sure. But just tutoring. No funny shit, alright? And I’m not paying you.”

And thus it began. They agreed to meet at Steve’s house twice a week at 7pm, one day to work on Steve’s essay, and one where Billy helped Steve with the assigned reading. Those were the worst days.

No matter how much Steve protested and whined and bitched, Billy insisted on taking turns reading it out loud. He would read a chapter, smooth and easy, and then make Steve read a chapter, where he stumbled over easy words and mispronounced the hard one. By the end of those nights, Steve was lobster-red and as grumpy as a wet cat.

Despite the protests and embarrassment, it was actually working. Steve was able to speak up in more in class discussions, which led to a rising participation grade, and his ‘reading journal’ was actually somewhat legible since Billy could help him put thoughts into words.

They were celebrating the fact that Steve had managed to get his D up to a C with pizza and beers when Billy got a call and had to rush home with a hurried “I forgot to pick up Max.”

He ran out the door and was roaring down the driveway before Steve even noticed that Billy had left a book behind.

It wasn’t the book they were reading for class, but instead a beat-up book with yellowing pages. The cover said that it was a collection of poems by Sylvia Plath.

Steve had never heard of her, but Steve’s interest was peaked purely because Billy didn’t seem like the kind of guy who read poetry unless it was assigned for class. He picked it up gingerly, as if the tattered pages would turn to dust in his hands and then wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water. He put it on the small breakfast table before filling up a glass and returning to sit down and peruse through it.

Inside was absolutely covered in different colors of ink, all in Billy’s handwriting.

Notes, Steve realized. Notes Billy had scribbled along the margins as he read the poems. Most of them were pretty generic, underlining words and thoughts about the metaphors, except one poem.

The titled said that the poem was entitled “Mad Girl’s Love Song” and in the margins, Billy had scribbled two words. Words Steve had come to associate with a mocking tone and crooked smirk.

Pretty Boy.

Steve couldn’t understand what Billy meant, and instead of trying to unravel the mystery, Steve decided to go to bed and return the book to its rightful owner tomorrow.

-

Steve didn’t get the chance to give it to Billy until after english, where he followed the boy to his locker.

“You forgot this at my place. I could tell it was your favorite book because of all the notes you wrote in the margins.”

“Shit. Thanks Pretty Boy,” Billy said, and Steve couldn’t help but think of the Pretty Boy scrawled next to a poem about a Mad Girl’s Love, wondering if it meant something.

“No worries Billy. Seemed important.”

“Did you look inside?” If Steve hadn’t been spending two days a week with him, he wouldn’t have been able to tell that the white knuckle grip on his locker and the creases in his eyebrows meant Billy was nervous.

“Yeah, just flipped through it really.” Steve was almost certain that Pretty Boy and Billy’s sudden and uncharacteristic nervousness meant one thing, which is what gave Steve the courage to lean forward. “I really liked Mad Woman’s Love Poem, except I have to disagree with the ending. I don’t think she made anything up in her head,” Steve’s voice was low and pitched. Billy’s eyes widened and he dropped his hand from his locker door.

“You sure?”

“Mhm,” but before Steve could lean in more to close the distance, the bell rang for their next period.

They decided to hide in one of the furthest bathrooms and discuss the poem further.

—

They totally made out in that bathroom btw. Also I love Sylvia Plath, please read the poem! It’s like perfect pining Billy.

tag team: @lostnoise @gideongrace @stevefuckingharrington @a-magey @trashmouth-hargrove @catharrington (lmk if you would like to be added/removed from the list!)

[zweiginator]

D’yer Mak’er

Brian May x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and your roommate Brian are losing sleep because of your neighbors’ loud sexual endeavors. What begins as a payback to annoy the couple ends in the eruption of years of tension, lust, and love.  (Prompt idea from @okqueenie ;) )

Word Count: 6,933 

Warnings: cuteness, pining, sexual tension, unprotected sex, oral, handjobs--VERY filthy oopsie (btw it’s late and im too lazy to proofread so sorry!) p.s sorry national geographic for defaming your brand :/

Your arm was tingling, your nerves needle-like, shooting through your bicep, then threading towards your elbow, down into your fingers which felt numb, prickly, and in pain. Your head rested upon your desk, your hair fanned out in front of you, covering your book--an awfully boring paperback of Hamlet that Brian, your roommate, so kindly let you borrow. You were groaning when your professor assigned the reading; Shakespeare’s language wasn’t one you spoke. So, Brian, being the sweetheart he is, shuffled to his room, his wool socks staticky against the wooden floors. He traced his elegant fingers along the spines of his books--all of them neatly arranged, from tallest to shortest. His fingers halted at a thin paperback, yellowed and dusty, with a cracked spine. He plucked it from the shelf and ran back into your room next door.

“Found it!” He tossed it to you, catching you off guard. The book fell open on the floor, a sepia dust bunny escaping from between the pages.

You picked it up apprehensively, holding it by the corner so dust wouldn’t latch onto your thick knit sweater. “Thanks?” You shook the book, jumping back as more dust fell from the copy, like a desert storm tumbling from sand pages. “But I already have a copy.” You cocked your head towards your desk, where a pristine, non-dusty copy sat, untouched.

“You don’t have Brian May’s copy though.” He grabbed the book from you, not caring about the particles that danced upon the sleeve of his blue zip-up hoodie. “Be ready to be amazed, Y/N.” He patted the spot next to him on your bed. Your comforter was piled into the corner, your sheets crinkled and cold from the winter air seeping through your window that never seemed to close completely. Instead, you sat on his leg, and he winced, his leg pulling away slightly.

“Your arse is cold as hell.” He looked up at you, his thumb marking the page he was going to show you--it must have been a good one.

“Shut up.” You motioned to the book, scooting yourself into a comfortable position which seemed to fare impossible; his leg was much too bony. “You know my ass is hot.” You wiggled a little, and he grabbed your waist reflexively, quickly turning to the page. He looked flustered, his eyebrows knitted together as he squinted at the text, the book tiny in his hands.

“See?” He ran a finger down the golden yellow page, tracing over countless translations and ideas he had written in the margins, some in smeared pencil, some in deep black ink.

You grabbed the book, squinting at the barely-legible handwriting that bordered the pages. “Too bad I can’t possibly decode what the hell this says.”

Brian rolled his eyes, his jaw tensing, just barely. “Forget about it, then.” He turned his nose up, yanking the book from you and softly pushing you off of him, getting up to return it to its rightful place in his own room.

“No!” You reached out, grabbing his leg and pulling him back to sit on the bed, but he slipped, and fell promptly on the floor, his tailbone smacking against the hardwood.

“Fuck!” He rubbed at his ass, wincing in pain, hissing at the ache that was climbing up his spine, tingly and sharp.

“I’m sorry, Brian!” You ruffled his hair, jumping up to get him an ice-pack, or really, a freezer-burned package of frozen vegetables which you and Brian would forever be too lazy to prepare. But instead, he grabbed your ankle, making you stumble to the ground like he did, catching yourself, your open palms tingling as they hit the floor. “Okay, I’m not sorry anymore.” You sat up, leaning against your bed like Brian was, grabbing the book from him and trying to read the margins. In reality, his handwriting wasn’t too difficult to decipher; you had known Brian for so long, it became second nature to read his chicken scratch. It was almost a test to see who was closest to Brian--it seemed only his bandmates and you could make out his convoluted lettering.

You shook your arm as you recalled the memory, lifting your head from its spot on the desk. Your ankles were crossed under the chair you were sitting at, and you realized Brian shoved a pillow between your back and the chair, which relieved some of the pain. Your neck hurt though, as it hung--almost lifelessly--for the entire night. You wiped some drool from your chin, grimacing at the gross sensation; it was semi-dry and crusted on your face. “Ew,” You sat up straight, your back cracking slightly as you maneuvered it. Brian’s copy of Hamlet was face down on the desk. You had actually been reading it pretty easily--thanks to Brian’s annotations--but you were exhausted from the antics of your neighbors.

For months now, you had been lacking sleep severely, waking up in the wee hours of the morning, your bed shaking from the arrhythmic banging of your neighbors’ headboard against the plastered walls. You always resorted to covering your head with your pillow, groaning and rolling your eyes and suppressing laughter at times--the couple’s moans were so fake and contrived. And every time they had sex--which was often--it seemed to get worse; more pornographic and less passionate--if that were possible, with the lack of chemistry these people seemed to have. There were plenty of times you had surrendered to your curiosity and held a cup against the wall, cringing as you heard screams that sounded more panicked than pleasured. Sometimes you would yelp as a firm, assured slapping noise would ping off of the walls, echoing in your ears even though they remained squished and completely covered by your pillows.

You had noticed Brian becoming more restless too; his eyes had become more sunken, his lips in a perpetual pout. Whenever he shaved, there was an uneven patch or two that he would forget to touch, and you would laugh at him, stroking your fingers over the thick, almost black hair, confused as to how he could have possibly missed it.

“Brian, come here.” You wiped your hands on your jeans as you chewed some buttered popcorn, your feet on the green coffee table, which didn’t match the design of the flat at all. You and a few friends were watching a soap opera, curled under Brian’s favorite knit blanket. You could tell he was mad you were using it, because he rose his eyebrows at you, cocking his head to the side as he sat next to you on the couch. There wasn’t much room for him, so he sat awkwardly on the edge, looking like a small child waiting for instructions of what to do next. You traced your fingers along his jaw, scratching at the dark stubble that was juxtaposed by the completely bare, hairless skin on the rest of his face. “You missed a spot.” Brian’s hand slapped yours away. “Just a smidge.” You tilted his head to the other side, seeing that the same spot on his right side was hairy as well.

“Stop!” He rolled his eyes, pinching your leg as he got up, pulling his hoodie over his head, mussing up his hair in the process. “I’m tired from rehearsals. Plus--” He shook his head, opting to leave his thoughts unsaid. He yanked his blanket off of your body, folding it neatly and tucking it under his willowy arm.

“What? Spit it out.” You and your friends looked at Brian inquisitively, all cocking your eyebrows at him, almost synchronized.

“The neighbors.” He mumbled, bending over the coffee table to straighten a book your foot had moved off-kilter. Brian’s body obscured the television, and you lightly pushed him back, your foot pressing against his hard stomach.

“Move,” You ate more popcorn, watching your program. “What about the neighbors?” You obviously knew what he was alluding to, but you wanted to see him flustered; you loved to tease him.

“You haven’t heard them, you know--” His voice faltered, falling a few decibels. “Doing it?”

“Oh God, Brian.” You giggled, a piece of popcorn falling onto your lap. “Grow up, man. ‘Doing it?’” You mocked him, and he tickled your foot, making you yelp, your head falling back as he scratched a nail on the underside of your sock-covered foot, knowing you were ticklish there. He grinned, canines exposed, his cheeks lifted. He took some popcorn from your bowl and walked into his room, giving you and your friends a quick wave before shutting the door softly behind him.

__

A few hours later, your legs were resting on Brian’s lap, your head laying against the arm of the couch. Brian was flipping through a National Geographic magazine, examining the wildlife pictures, like he always did when a new issue came out. You were reading Hamlet--still--but you were almost done, thanks to Brian, who happily analyzed the scenes for you, even insisting on pointing out some far-fetched allegories that made you second-guess trusting his far-fetched ideas.

“I don’t think that’s true, Brian.” You peered over your book and nudged his leg with your foot. Brian finished reading a particularly riveting line about the anemone in the Great Reef, holding a finger up until he was done reading.

“Hmm?” He bookmarked the magazine with an old receipt, throwing it on the coffee table.

“I don’t think that the costumes represent--” You started, before hearing a crashing noise next door--like metal pans clashing together, then falling twenty seven feet into jagged rocks. It was piercing and utterly startling, so your foot accidentally dug into Brian’s balls sharply.

“JESUS!” Brian tossed your legs off of his lap and held his groin, hissing in pain.

You hushed him, apologizing by stroking his hair a bit as you sat on your knees, leaning towards the noise. “What are they doing?” It sounded like they were in the kitchen; their apartment was a mirror image of yours, so everything was just a bit flipped around.

“I dunno.” Brian crossed his arms and picked his magazine back up, grumpy from lack of sleep and the dull pain stagnant in his balls. He picked a piece of lint from the page he was reading, flicking it onto your stomach, covered by his hoodie.

“I think they’re having sex in the kitchen this time.” You whispered for some reason, as if it were possible they could hear you. You braced your hand on Brian’s shoulder, the knobbed end of his collarbone hard against your touch.

“It’s weird to listen in on them.” Brian announced in monotone, flipping the page of his magazine, his eyes gleaming as he saw an article about space exploration. “Did you hear about thi-” Brian began to ask, before you interrupted him, which he registered as quite rude on your part, with a sharp inhale.

“Listen in on them?” You scoffed. “Bri, we haven’t slept for weeks because they’re fucking each other so loudly. We aren’t spying on them.” You shoved his shoulder a little, watching him as he nibbled at his lips as he attempted to focus on what he was reading. You could tell he was being stubborn, that he was curious like you, but he acted unfazed, shifting in his spot as his eyes scanned the glossy pages in front of him. Plus, he thought it was a little odd, listening to a middle-aged couple have sex with his roommate-slash-best friend.

You scooted your body closer to his, leaning forward to press your ear against the wall that the couch was leant against. Brian gulped and looked away, seeing your pajama shorts ride up a bit, the curve of your ass prominent from under the cotton fabric, lace trimming adorning the hem. He loved when you wore those, and he may have accidentally-on-purpose washed them extra frequently so they would shrink, just a bit. He moved the hair away from his eyes and tapped his fingers along the page he was reading--or attempting to read--before he shoved it in between the cushions and joined you, the peculiarity of the situation next door trumping his interest in space travels for the time being--no matter how pathetic that sounded to him.

The sides of your arms touched as you both listened, the sounds barely subdued by the layers of drywall in between you two--and the blood thumping, rushing towards your hot ears. It sounded like their sink had turned on in the process of their endeavors, and Brian, feeling cheeky, banged on the wall with a closed fist. “Turn off the bloody water! You’re wasting it!” He turned to you for approval, almost. You shoved him playfully and banged on the wall with him, cackling together as you heard the husband’s skin slapping. It was obscene and inappropriate, but you looked at Brian menacingly.

“OH ALLEN!” You moaned dramatically, coming up with an arbitrary name on the spot. It was completely fake-sounding, and Brian giggled, rocking on the couch to bang it against the wall repeatedly. You nodded at him, determined, doing the same thing that he was, rocking your bodies forward then backwards to push it against the wall forcefully. Your pinkies touched as your elbows did too, completely and utterly focused on annoying them just as much as they had you. Brian lifted his arms up and banged them against the wall again, his shirt riding up enough for you to see his stomach, toned and still tanned from a short-run of being a summer gardener--your idea to bring in more rent money. Your own stomach flipped and you turned away.

“PLEASE DON’T STOP AMANDA!” Brian moaned facetiously, pushing his knees into the back of the couch, his hips bucking forward dramatically. You looked at him questioningly, mouthing Amanda? Really?, as he smiled at you, his knuckles raw from beating on the wall.

And as suddenly as they began, the noises stopped. The pans halted their clanging, the grating sound of the metal fizzling, dissipating from your ears. You both sighed in relief, and Brian plopped down on his knees, taking a deep breath that ghosted just barely over your neck. You shivered, the aftershock of the odd situation making your breath hesitate as you also fell to your knees on the couch, the springs creaking as you both moved, unsure of what to say or do next.

Brian was panting, a coy smile on his lips. He was a bit sweaty, his neck was glistening, and his fingers fiddled with his silver necklace, the metal of the ring he was wearing clinking against the thin chain, the small tinkling pleasant in your ear after the horrible noises that had just stopped minutes before.

“Are you hungry?” Brian asked, pulling his legs out from under his butt, slipping his socks off. He saw you grimacing at him and clicked his tongue at you, his jaw twitching. “What? I’m sweaty.”

You feigned a gag as he held the sweaty socks in front of your nose, swinging them like a pendulum, soaked with body odor. “Gross!” You tried to smack them out of his hands, but he held them higher, just out of your reach to tease you. “Get your dirty socks out of my fucking face, or I swear to God--”

“You shouldn’t say that, Y/N!” He bit his lip and gasped dramatically as you tried to knock the socks out from in front of your face again. His voice was deeper than usual, and you grabbed his wrist as you fell forward; the couch cushions were unsteady. Brian fell backwards, his head hitting the arm of the couch opposite of you. His hair bounced, the ambient lighting shining against his brilliant curls. You had convinced him to embrace his natural hair, and it looked good on him, accentuating him, his look. Your thigh brushed against his crotch, and Brian hissed, sitting up quickly, shaking the curls from his eyes. “I’m going to get us some takeout. Chinese?” He rubbed the back of his neck, stretching as he stood up, the buttons of his shirt threatening to pop as he extended his long arms towards the humming ceiling fan.

“Yeah, sounds good.” You curled up on the couch, opening your book again, your eyes skimming the page, but not encoding a thing. You noticed Brian shifting his trousers, wincing as his hand brushed over the front of them. He grabbed his keys from the table, his magazine strategically placed in front of his groin as he said goodbye, waving at you, his keys tucked under three fingers.

“The usual?” He peeked his head through the door, his curls getting caught by a raw splinter of wood sticking out from the door frame. He pulled the strand from the sharp edge, waiting for your response.

“Yeah,” You nodded, tilting your head back to give him a grin. “But get extra white rice. You always forget.”

He began to shut the door, his large hand wrapped around the brass doorknob, shrouded by a dulled stain.

“Wait!” You jumped up, bracing yourself on the coffee table as you slipped. Brian flinched, lunging forward reflexively.

“You ok, sweets?” Brian lifted a brow, pulling fallen strands of his hair from his hoodie. You smiled at the nickname, standing up straight, adjusting your sweater that was becoming increasingly hot and heavy. You revealed a pen from behind your back, pulling Brian towards you by his hands which were warm, and very soft. You wondered if he had been using lotion more often--and then you coughed, registering the innuendo. You clicked the pen, poking your tongue out slightly as you wrote the note on his hand, underlining it twice, the scrape of the pen against his hand making a sharp white line appear, just momentarily.

“Don’t forget.” You looked up at him, noticing a faint droplet of sweat dripping down his neck, pooling into the hollow space where his collarbones protruded.

__

Your throat was dry when you woke up, and you didn’t know if it was because of your and Brian’s acting the day before, or the spicy kung pao chicken that Brian brought home in a greasy paper bag, beaming as he pulled out a giant takeout carton full of white rice, some of it spilling from the top. You swallowed, feeling a burn perfuse down your esophagus, wincing and coughing as you sat up. Your neck was still achey; your head automatically positioning itself in the position that allowed the least amount of sounds to pass through your ears--perks of having awful neighbors.

You pulled on a sweatshirt--one you stole from Brian’s room. It was red, and had that fresh, clean softness that proved it hadn’t been washed too many times. It was comforting; Brian’s scent pervaded the fabric, and you relished in the earthy, almost sweet smell of him, rubbing your hands together as you pulled your door open. You walked to the kitchen, where Brian’s guitar case was laid on the counter. You sighed, rolling your eyes. He knew you hated when he did that. You didn’t even have a reason for loathing it--you just did. Both you and Brian had little things that made you tic. The first time you ever heard Brian really yell was when you found out one of his--he despised disorganization. He was at a gig the year before, and the venue was a few hours away, so the boys slept in the van, half-drunk and a bit dizzy, weaned off of adrenaline highs. While he was gone, you rearranged all of his books. You flipped some so the pages faced forward, and kept some of the spines facing out. You took all of his pants from one drawer, and then all of his shirts from the other--then you switched them. You could have done more, but you didn’t hate Brian. So you fell asleep, curled into the corner of the couch to let Brian in more easily when he came home--he could never interpret how to work a key and a lock when he was drunk.

He wasn’t drunk when he returned, though. He opened the door discreetly, slipping through, taking his clogs off as he sat down, hunched over to be as quiet as possible. When he saw his bookshelf, he exploded.

“Y/N!” He slammed his duffle bag on the floor, his pins from all of the different cities he’d visited scratching against a raised floorboard. You jumped up, patting your hair down as you turned the floor lamp on, the warm light ambient and mellow.

“Brian? You’re home already?” You glanced at the clock; it was seven in the morning, so it made sense for him to be back.

“It’s seven.” He confirmed. “Can you explain this?” He crossed his arms over his chest, his forearms were veiny, bulging from his sleeves; one was pulled all of the way down, one was rolled up halfway.

You laughed softly. “The books? I just thought it would annoy you.”

His eyes hardened, and his jaw protruded as he sucked his bottom lip, before releasing it with a pronounced pop. “It worked. Don’t you have better shit to do than mess with my personal fucking belongings?”

You scowled, stepping closer to him. For the first time since you had met him, his tall frame wasn’t languid--it was intimidating. The shadow of a beard was forming on his cheeks, pebbling down his elegant neck, where two necklaces were layered, resting on his collarbones. “It’s not a big fucking deal, Brian.” You turned around to leave, but he grabbed your wrist, holding onto it so hard he could feel your pulse racing.

“Fix it.” He looked at you sternly, his eyes glaring into your own. You expected him to laugh and ruffle your hair a bit, but he didn’t. He just stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door; you heard the shower faucet creak a minute later. Your legs shook as you bent down to fix the books, trying to ignore the warmth pooling at your core.

_

You were reaching into a cupboard, trying to find a glass for some water, when you heard crashing in the bathroom and the shrieking of the shower curtain rings scraping at the curtain rod.

“Y/N!” Brian yelled, almost hopelessly.

“Hmm!” You scurried to the bathroom door, pressing your ear against it. You could faintly feel the warmth emanating from underneath the door.

“I forgot to bring a towel in with me. Can you get me one?” You could hear him gathering the fallen shampoo bottles and setting them on the ledge.

“What do you say?” You challenged.

“Please, would you so kindly fetch me a towel, Y/N?” He pleaded, half sarcastically.

You got him one, wiggling the doorknob to the bathroom as you held it underneath your arm. “Open up, Bri!”

He quickly unlocked the door, peering through the crack, reaching a soaked hand out. His wrist was dripping with steamy water, his arm a lot more defined than you remembered it being in the summer. He pulled the towel from your hands, quickly turning around so he could wrap it around his waist. You saw his ass for a split second, and you attempted to stifle your laughter, to no avail.

Brian shut the door, re-locking it as he dried his hair and got dressed for class. He had a denim button up on, and black velvet trousers that hugged him nicely. His hair was still sopping wet as he left the bathroom, but he softly dried his locks with the towel; you told him to be gentle with his curls.

You were biting your lip, trying to suppress the laughter which was bubbling up into your throat and quickly threatening to spill over. Brian looked at you, knowing that meant you were about to make fun of him for something.

“What is it? Lay it on me.” He sat down, resuming his reading of his National Geographic, his eyes roaming the pages quickly. He turned the magazine sideways, squinting at a picture of the stars that filled the entire two-page spread.

“Your butt.” You sat down next to him, poking at his ass as he attempted to focus on his reading.

“You saw my arse? Big deal.” He feigned to be uncaring, but you could see his cheeks flushing into a scarlet that seeped down his neck.

“It was small! Your butt is tiny.” You tickled at his hips, and he flinched, his teeth protruding from underneath his pink lips, forming the beginnings of a smile. “Tiny butt.” Brian rolled his eyes, turning his head to face you. He closed his magazine and crossed his arms, resting his legs on the coffee table.

“So what if I have a tiny butt--hey! That rhymed!” He realized, leaning his head on the cushion behind him.

You heard a crashing sound--the unfortunately familiar sound of clashing pans crossing your threshold, even between Brian’s Led Zeppelin vinyl and two--albeit thin--walls. “They’re fucking at it again!”

You both groaned, following the sounds like a labyrinth of awful moans and grunts swirling into one epicenter. “Wait.” Brian halted, holding his arm out, as a signal for you to stay still. “I think they’re in the shower.”

Sure enough, you heard their shower running, then panting, then the sound of someone’s body being slammed against the wall. “Ouch!” You looked at Brian, amazed. “That must’ve fucking hurt.” You leaned against the kitchen counter, Brian’s guitar leant against it; you smiled a bit, realizing he moved it off of the counter, knowing you hated when it was there.

The room was quiet, save for your and Brian’s breathing. The heel of your foot hit the wooden paneled column of the counter every once in awhile. You heard heavy panting, groans and whimpers from next door, and you and Brian just looked at each other, as if saying: Are we really gonna do this again? You both understood each other’s almost subliminal looks, and nodded simultaneously. You raced back to the couch, both of your socks making you slide against the floor, and you both braced your inevitable falls on the arms of the couch, climbing over them.

Brian held up three long fingers, then two, then just one, before giving you a firm nod, eyebrows concentrated, solemn looking. “Oh FUCK! RIGHT THERE!” He knelt on the couch, scooting forwards and backwards to imitate the harsh banging noises they so often made next door.

“THAT FEELS SO GOOD! OH GOD!” You did the same as he was; you two were synchronized, breathing heavily as you began to grunt and whimper, Brian clapping his hands to simulate skin-slapping sounds, and you rose your eyebrows, giving him a thumbs up. Nice touch, you mouthed, and he bowed a little, his hair bouncing, messy from his movements.

The couple was relentless though, continuing their desperate, obviously bad, sex. Brian held a finger up, before stepping off of the couch and kneeling in front of it. He gripped the bottom of the furniture, his wrists flexing from the weight, pulling it forward and slamming it back against the wall--with you still sat on top of it. He continued to do this, the grunts coming organically from his lips, from the exertion. You were panting, your chest heaving quickly from the yelling, from the odd exhilaration you were feeling, from the wetness you were feeling in your pajama shorts, which Brian couldn’t help but notice were riding up your thighs; he could see the hem of your lace panties from his position underneath you, looking up.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like this, baby.” Brian moaned loudly, looking up at you. His mouth was hung open, hot breath fanning over your body. You returned the gaze, falling to sit on your feet in front of him, facing him.

“You’re fucking me so good!” You cried, cringing at the words, your mouth agape as you watched Brian’s forehead begin to sweat. Neither of you were laughing anymore. The air was dense, and tension-filled--wet almost. You sat down in front of where he was knelt, his hair matted a bit from the sweat, and still wet from his shower. You spread your legs, and your feet hung off of the couch, resting near either side of his head. He grabbed your ankle, looking at you with wide eyes as your fingers played with the elastic of your shorts, fiddling with the ties, the ends of them tickling at your inner thighs. Brian stared at the soft flesh of them, at a small freckle you had where the hem of your shorts laid. Your cheeks were flushing, your heart thundering in your chest, and Brian’s sweatshirt was becoming an actual sweat shirt. Your ankle was almost glowingly warm from Brian’s firm grip. His other hand grabbed your free ankle, which was noticeably colder, aching for his touch. His fingers began to ghost up your legs, inching up your shins, making you whimper softly from the anticipation of Brian to touch you more and more. His pupils were dilated and you noted how pretty his eyes looked, the yellow light shining into them. Brian was a beacon of allure, lust, love. You untied your shorts, watching as Brian’s eyes widened, his grip on you tightening, almost constricting, but in the best way possible. You pushed your hand down the shorts, slipping through your underwear to rub at your clit. You were soaked for him. Brian’s nails dug into your ankles as he pulled you forward on the couch, so his body was in between your legs, kneeling in front of you, on his knees. He ghosted a finger over your lips as you pushed a finger into your wet hole, gasping as you grazed against your clit. He breathed against your neck as he stroked your hair, kissing at your shoulder, his forehead resting upon it. He moved to kiss up the column of your neck. They were sloppy, open-mouthed kisses; he was desperate, rocking his cock against the couch as he held your waist, your fingers now deep in your pussy. You held his head, threading your fingers in his semi-dried curls, gasping as he sucked hickies on your collarbones, nibbling at the sensitive skin enough to make your hips jerk slightly. You pulled his head back by his hair, thick in your hand, kissing him on his bruised lips. He was fiery and passionate. He was making you dizzy, suffocating you from fresh air with passion-infused sucks to your bottom lip, his tongue massaging yours. Brian whined, his cock rubbing against the textured velvet of his trousers, leaking with precum, just for you. You pulled your fingers out, which were a bit pruned from the slickness which was staining the couch now, deepening the grey of the taut fabric. You held your fingers to his mouth, watching at his tongue swirled around your digits, sucking your juices from them.

“Taste me.” Your eyes were hooded, blown with desire. You felt like you were on the verge of fainting, or that you were experiencing a hypnagogic dream--like this was all altered from reality, not real. But the feelings--the sensations--you were experiencing in that moment, with your best friend’s tongue lapping up your wetness from your soaked fingers now coated with his saliva--were anything but a dream.

“So good.” He moaned, looking at you innocently. His chest was heaving as he grabbed your wrist, pulling your fingers from his mouth. He pulled at your shorts, his fingers shaky as he slid them down your legs, keeping your underwear on. “I love when you wear these fucking shorts, sweets.” He kissed your knee, scratching softly at your inner thighs, as you pulled at his hair. He threw the garment on the floor, scooting forward on his knees, yanking your underwear to the side. You gasped loudly at hearing his usually innocent nickname for you in such a dirty connotation. He ran his fingers up your neck before rubbing them along your soft lips, the calloused pads of his long fingers tickling the pink flesh barely. You sucked on his fingers this time, swirling your tongue around them, whimpering at how dirty this was, at how good it felt to feel Brian.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Brian’s fingers left your mouth, dripping with your spit. He trailed them up your leg, before pulling your legs over his shoulders, kissing at your inner thighs and softly biting the skin.

“Brian, oh my god.” Your hand grasped at his hair, desperate for his mouth to latch onto your clit--anywhere. He looked up at you, his eyes hooded, his nose nudging at your clit. His hand snaked around your waist, holding your hips down, his fingers splayed across your lower stomach. Then he began to lick at your folds, pointing his tongue and licking upwards, directly on your aching bundle of nerves. “Fuck, Bri!” Your heels dug into Brian’s upper back and he hummed in appreciation before sticking his tongue out and delving into your hole. You ground against his tongue, desperate for your orgasm, which proved to be approaching quickly.

“Cum on my tongue, honey.” He poked his tongue out, tilting his head to look at you. He was idle, and you realized quickly he was waiting on you to grind on his tongue. You did, holding his hair with one hand as the other grasped at the couch cushion. Your hips moved up and down repeatedly, his tongue sliding against your clit, the stimulation making your eyes water.

“Oh my god--” You were mewling, completely at his mercy. “Brian--your tongue feels so good.”

“Does it baby?” He batted his eyelashes, his curls tickling against your skin as you ground against his tongue faster.

“Fuck, it feels so good!” You screamed, your breaths becoming laborious as you came on his tongue, your wetness dripping down his chin. You had barely recovered from your orgasm before you pulled Brian’s mouth to yours, wrapping your legs around his waist, his body now hovering over yours, his knees resting on the edge of the couch. You scratched your nails at the nape of his neck, kissing at his stubble on his jaw. You both were starved--two years of friendship and a blindingly close proximity to each other in your entireties was being released by fervid kisses, frenzied touches. Your hands traveled down his chest, your fingers popping open a few buttons on the way to his cock, which was achingly hard and prominent in his trousers. You unbuttoned them, immediately shoving your hand down the front of his briefs, massaging at his balls.

“Fuuuck.” Brian let out a drawn-out moan, and it echoed across the room, making a tingle sprinkle down your shoulders and to your core. You dragged your nails softly up the shaft of his cock, and he buried his face in your neck, whimpering your name. Your hand held onto his hair as you pumped him, precum leaking onto the junction between your thumb and forefinger. “Jesus christ, more.” He whined, the couch hitting the wall forcefully as he thrusted into your hand.

“You’re so needy, Brian.” You pulled him forward. “Thrusting into my hand.” He nodded, a choked moan breathy against your lips.

“I need to fuck you, sweets.” He pushed his forehead against yours, digging his fingers into your hips. “I’ve needed to fuck you for so long.”

You exhaled, tightening your grip on his cock as he lazily thrust into your hand. “I need you so bad, Brian.” You pulled at his necklace, kissing him deeply. You felt his hips stutter, a low whimper tumbling from parted lips.

You shook your head. “Not yet.” Brian nodded, kissing your neck, just once, before he grabbed you by your waist, turning your body so your body laid across the couch, flat. He grabbed a throw pillow, putting it beneath your back. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him forward by your locked ankles. Your arms grabbed at the arm of the couch as Brian spit in his hand, stroking his cock--which you noticed was a lot larger than you originally thought. The tip was bright red, still leaking, his shaft veiny and impossibly thick. You shifted beneath him, your entire body sheathed in sweat and a scarlet blush.

“Condom?” He asked, his thumb running over his tip, massaging his slit carefully.

“I want you raw, Brian.”

“Jesus Christ.” He hitched your legs up onto his hips, dragging his cock against your folds, the ridges of his veins blissful against your clit. “You’re so fucking wet for me.” He dragged his hands up your torso, touching the fabric of his sweatshirt, damp from your sweat. His thumb and forefinger found the zipper, pulling it down agonizingly slow, groaning when he saw your bare chest revealed from underneath his hoodie. “Dirty girl.” He bit at his lips, and you sat up, shrugging the hoodie off. He pulled the sleeve back up over your shoulder, shaking his head. “No. I want you to keep my jumper on while I fuck you.” He held your chin as he said this, and you slipped his thumb into your mouth, making him twitch against your thigh.

Then he was thrusting into you--deep into you--his thumb stroking at your chin as his pelvic bone was flush against your inner thighs. You screamed, holding onto the arm of the couch as he pulled out, pushing himself back in immediately. “God, Brian it hurts.” He was stretching your walls, and your cheeks were blotched red from the dull pain--but it was a pain so akin to pleasure that you writhed underneath him, moaning.

“ ‘m sorry sweets. I’ll go slower baby.” He held onto your thighs, still wrapped around his waist.

“No. Fuck me.” You sat up, resting on your elbows as he obliged, Fucking into you at a brutal pace, his hand snaking up your torso, squeezing at your breasts. Your moans were breathy, hot, passionate--true. They were the antithesis of the sounds your neighbors were still making next door, opposite of the ones you and him were making seemingly seconds before. Brian was angling his hips up, thrusting deep inside of you as his thumb massaged your clit, savoring your noises, the way you arched into his every touch. Brian’s breaths were interwoven with impassioned moans, and the paradox of them sounding so angelic yet so sinful was making your orgasm near. He began to slow, his thrusts becoming erratic but far-in-between, his eyes rolling back as his voice cracked with a long groan. You began to fuck yourself on his dick, panting, the couch scooting loudly, creaking against the floor. Brian’s other hand trailed its way to your neck, his delicate fingers, wrapping around the hot skin, just touching. But you grabbed his wrist, tightening his grip around your neck, both yours and his moans becoming more primal and raw at the sensation.

“Brian--” You threw your head back, your legs unable to support themselves on Brian’s hips. He thrust harder, snapping his hips as he repeated your name, panting into the muggy air around you. A bead of sweat ran down his neck. His hair was wild from your pulling, his lips a deep pink from bruised kisses. Hickies adorned his collarbones, which his necklaces were bouncing upon with every yearning thrust. His hand was still wrapped tightly around your neck, pushing gently upon your throat, your hand gripping at his wrist.

“Good girl.” he gasped, as you clenched around him, involuntarily. “You’re so fucking tight, I’m gonna cum.” He tilted his head back, somehow pushing deeper inside of you; he was completely sheathed inside of you. “Fu-I’m cumming!” He announced, barely pulling out before he came inside of you, the feeling bringing on your own release as you screamed his name, your walls clenching. He spurt more of his cum inside of you, hissing at the overstimulation as he pulled out, watching his seed spill out of you. He didn’t know what to do; and in a panic, he grabbed his magazine placing it so the cum leaked onto it and not the perfectly good couch you had. You both were panting, but you furrowed your eyebrows. “Now your magazine has your cum all over it.”

“I know, I’m not too happy about it. That was a good issue.” He said from the kitchen, wetting a cloth to clean you up with. He sat down next to you, pulling his National Geographic from under your ass to wipe you clean. “It’s cold, sorry sweets.” You winced at the cool water, but his warm touch on your lower belly acted as a needed equilibrium.

He kissed your collarbone, and you pulled him in, locking your lips with him as he zipped your--his--hoodie up, pulling the hood over your hair and yanking at the strings. He pulled your panties up your legs, and then your shorts, before he slipped his briefs back on, laying on his stomach, in between your legs, which were still shaky. You pet at his hair and noticed how normal this felt--you and him together like this. Brian, reading your mind, lifted his head and kissed your nose, pulling the hood down.

“I’m in love with you.” He confessed, hugging you tighter, anticipating your response.

“Hi, I’m in love with you, nice to meet you.” You picked his hand up, shaking it firmly. “Funny, because I’m in love with you too!”  Brian laughed, muffled into your stomach as he kissed the fabric, his eyes fluttering shut.       

__

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[quidfree]

Hi! Thinking of Dumbledore + Sirius, do you think Sirius would feel sympathy for Dumbledore if he knew about how torn he was btw his siblings + feeling trapped? I judged him harshly at first, but now I think about the difficulty about losing both parents + sibling, but not wanting to sacrifice everything to step in as parent + guilt that comes with that. I do think Dumbledore loved his siblings + I was happy when his bro said he did a good job with their sis before her death.

hi! this is an interesting one hm

the thing abt dumbledore is that i’m pretty sympathetic to him all things considered- i’ve never really taken the time to explain my feelings about him on here but i definitely don’t think he’s snape levels of “fandom should see he’s irredeemably terrible!”, though i have a lot of qualms about him. he’s certainly not the hero rowling thinks he is, but he’s also not the guy rita skeeter says he is, to put it succintly.

on the one hand, i do think canon mostly fails to acknowledge that he was very manipulative/calculating and made a lot of very cold (or just plain terrible) choices- everything to do with sirius, for one, as well as the whole dursley situation. i know there’s a couple of reasons harry had to live with them (supposedly...) and i can’t be bothered to go into them, but even then i never understood why he couldn’t have done to petunia what he does in OOTP (?) sooner- send a letter to scare the shit out of her and remind her to treat harry decently or at least leave him to his own devices. like, there was so much he could have done in the years between the potters’ deaths and hogwarts- that squib neighbour was already spying/reporting for him, so he was fully aware of it all, idk. i just find that whole thing exemplary of his callousness. it’s more unforgivable to me than raising harry knowing he might need to die for the cause- because that was necessary to defeat voldemort, but giving harry an escape from abuse was so avoidable. his handling of other characters also doesn’t paint him in the best light, sirius as most obvious suspect- there’s a good piece on tumblr about sirius being a liability in his eyes because he’s not loyal to dumbledore or his cause above all else, but to the potters (and ultimately harry) and his own code, and i really think it’s the best reading of dumbledore’s handling of sirius in OOTP, because i always found that kind of insane. it’s brain-dead obvious that the worst thing to do with sirius (especially if you were worried about his unhinged state and whatnot) would be sticking him in grimmauld place- even if they had to keep him hidden, they could have let him floo between order hideouts! see other people! prowl london as a dog! it’s insane that dumbledore of all people would be that dumb about it, so it makes the most sense to me as him locking sirius up where he’s the most contained.

on the other hand, dumbledore was both a quirky schoolmaster and a wartime militia leader, and i think a lot of the weirdness in his character is bc rowling set out to write a much more child-like series than she ended up writing. dumbledore is a pretty iconic guy in the books, manipulations included- he’s such a chessmaster, and he has flair, as kingsley would put it. most importantly he clearly tries very hard to orchestrate the best possible outcome for the entire world- not based on arbitrary beliefs or personal whims, but because he’s sort of the main bastion of hope in the wizarding world. i don’t necessarily think his actions in this context are all excusable, but he’s a war-time leader, and pretty much knows it’s all down to him- although the order is certainly competent, it’s a very ragtag group of people dumbledore holds together, and in terms of skill, knowledge and aura he’s their biggest asset. he’s already been through a wizarding war where he probably set out to murder the love of his life, another wizard supremacist wackjob! we know he’s long past egoism- he’s genuinely For The Greater Good, and he clearly cares about harry; his choices are undoubtedly not made lightly. it’s also important to note just how bad wizarding society as a whole is on these issues- even the most muggle-friendly wizards are remarkably ignorant about them (arthur weasley), and everyone else is at least marginally bigoted; bigotry is built into the fabric of their society, and their government is extemely complacent/corrupt, so the order and their ilk are very much on their own, while people like the malfoys are tolerated despite the open secret of their wartime alliances. dumbledore has a tough job, and he doesn’t know all the things the reader knows. so i think the op-eds calling him Just As Bad As Voldemort or whatever are missing any nuance.

then we get into dumbledore’s backstory. it explains a lot about him, i think. it’s interesting to me that he’s so consistent as a character- he has always been about The Greater Good, and he’s always had an ego, but as a child he let the latter dictate the former and as an adult he forever attempted to substract it from himself lest he repeat the same mistakes. some more questionable rep from ms rowling in having her (1) gay character be the guy literally seduced into wizard supremacy by his evil boyfriend, but i always liked that beat of a very isolated extremely intelligent character drawn into a warped sense of righteousness- it’s also very consistent of dumbledore to believe he’s doing the best for someone when he’s not really thinking about that at all, which is the case with his sister. obviously his family’s story is tragic, and then he gets pulled into this fake vision of a better world, validated in his brilliance, and then there’s his mother’s death, and then his sister, and suddenly it’s all come crashing down and he spends the next years of his life slowly realizing he’s the only one who can stop a project he might have been overseeing once. aberforth lays into him for it, and fair enough, but jesus, what a shitty spot to be in fresh out of hogwarts. i don’t know if it’s because i’m an older sibling, but i can understand the horrible burden of knowing that it’s always on you to think of yourself second, even when you’re inches away from the best thing in your life.

getting sidetracked- the question was about sirius and dumbledore. the thing abt LMV is that i try to keep my own opinions out of it; the marauders-dumbledore dynamic is a difficult one. they all respect him endlessly, and in school i think they adored him, but as a wartime leader it gets complicated. i think in canon their relationship was better, just a little strained (and a little more for others) bc of his style of leadership- you know, keeping secrets, playing games etc. in LMV, though, his machinations got them personally into some shit, so i wagered things would be more terse. james i think thinks most positively of him, as he is wont to do so, except where he is somehow at odds with sirius, because his loyalties there are clear and he is far more violently protective of sirius than he lets on. lily is a close second, because she’s a big picture thinker and gets how hard his job is, but she tends to be wary of his reasoning. remus is a more distrustful person by nature, and dumbledore using him for werewolf stuff wears him down. sirius is not a fan of authority, does not like secrets, and hates people using him as a pawn, so things are most strained for him, obviously. i think a lot of dumbledore introspection in LMV is from sirius’ POV, somewhat accidentally, so he gets a harsh rep.

to finally get to the specifics of your question: would dumbledore’s backstory get sirius to sympathise? arguably not much. sirius is a tricky guy, esp because i write him in a period that we know nothing about. he’s not a cocky slightly feral 15 year old, and he’s not a traumatised 30 something prison escapee; i try to get a plausible balance, so i don’t lend sirius in LMV so much of OOTP sirius’ world-weary wisdom. he’s 21, and in a war where the other side are wizard nazis he’s mostly related to somehow; he sees things in blacks and whites almost necessarily. so either you’re good or bad, trustworthy or not. peter crossed the threshold, so he’s dead to him; regulus turned himself in, but he’s one of them, so sirius doesn’t know what to do with him. sirius might understand how hard it is to have younger siblings you love fiercely who don’t understand your commitment to a higher goal, but dumbledore was on the wrong side of things that time, so i don’t think he would draw any sympathetic parallels- i don’t see why he of all people would feel bad for where dumbledore’s youthful aspirations of wizarding supremacy lead him, despite his good intentions. he’s not very forgiving of bigotry, i think especially because he’s cut all ties with his own background so harshly.

tldr; i feel for the guy, and his life was fucked, but sirius probably would not, and dumbledore got enough unwarranted hero worship considering his dodgy actions that i don’t resent sirius for holding that grudge.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

athenas or the new ign videos... hmmm

im gonna go for the ign videos (moze gameplay and sanctuary-iii, no guns yet, i have a reason for that) because athenas hasn’t gotten its sweet instagram video yet. once that’s released i’ll do a full post on it. by the time i got around to finishing this post, they had released the video. oh boy... gonna do the gun post then the athenas post, i think. alright, off we go.

tl;dr: we read the entire end user agreement DAHL thrusts upon us for using the ECHO device, talk about some stuff like how (spoilers) it seems like Lilith will be getting her powers back at the end of the game, and a voice line Lily says that sounds like “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like Tannis said: [inaudible] Siren” (altho im not 100% sure on the [inaudible] part because 1) it sounds weird and 2) there’s a drum beat and also the devs are talking over her, the Siren part seems fairly accurate because of the way her mouth moves). so you know. im gonna be agonizing over that until i can hear what she says. ive already spent an hour just repeating it over and over. i nearly fell asleep lol

we’re gonna start with the moze gameplay (the first 14 minutes of bl3) because chronologically it’s first in both timeline and release date

i love the license plates on the right there

also it looks like they added in claptrap’s old welcome sign from windshear waste! time to stand in front of it for 30 minutes to see if any messages pop up like bl2

fast travel station as well, definitely going to see if/where i can teleport and going there immediately. i imagine this is more for DLC stuff and grinding tho.

also! i do believe we saw Covenant Pass previously. good to know this is actually where it is!

Marcus saying “And Welcome to Pandora!” in the beginning confirms that, yes, they’re going to be on a bus!! i wonder if there will be a fight scene before that though. it’s interesting Clappy mentions that “those jerks who tried to murder you are the children of the vault!” so i mean... there’s gotta be... right?

im also convinced this intro is going to be a mirror of Borderlands 1. i stg if it starts out with the first few notes of Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked and then swaps songs I’m going to lose my mind

also also, the order is totally going to mimic the bl1 one. Fl4k = Mordecai, Amara = Lilith, Moze = Roland, Zane = Brick. We even have Lilith taking Angel’s spot as the mysterious voice in our heads, and probably Marcus driving, AND being dropped off at a bus stop.

bet the reason they changed it from ‘Moze as the Bot Jock’ to ‘Moze as the Gunner’ is because it fits under ‘Roland as the Soldier’ better. Also, ‘Zane Flynt as Himselfs’ would be a play off ‘Brick as Himself’. Amara as the Siren is obvious, and ‘Mordecai as the Hunter’ vs ‘Fl4k as the Beastmaster’ is pretty similar as well, given Fl4k has all those Hunter skills.

the 4 basic emotes im guessing. im so glad we have the option to boop our friends in the face with emotes.

also moze’s little bunny skin is adorable

the ECHOnet used to be called “Riftspace”, “the Spline”, and... “MercTel: A Cyber-Dahl Joint” lmfao

specifically calls out Pandora. also, “artificial megastructures”??? THAT’S SO COOL

AND FUCKING

SENTIENT MEGASTRUCTURES???? 

gearbox. please. i have never ever wanted anything more in my life. please. it’s probably my birthday. PLEASE GEARBOX

also interesting that the user agreement specifically notes ‘Respawns’. I assume this is a joke because New-U stations have been confirmed not canon

“Core law”. Core law? Core... daddy? ... ????

core as in like a core government somewhere that’s not the border worlds? that’s interesting...

“The Legion”, okay, acknowledging TPS, that’s dope

“Project Blackrakk” ... im interested

“Thresher Company” lmao

im curious if Axton was apart of any of the mentioned ones. i don’t think it’s been stated, but i could be wrong

“Chieftain Oort”. also ‘Recently Legless Gary’, lmfao poor dude.

oh yeah im sure this is fine. also holy shit did they google the synonyms for ‘change’ and just start listing them? lmfao

“implicit subscription to the Digby Vermouth ‘Dig’s Gigs’ secret concert subscription service” 

sorry, what?

if this doesn’t come up again in the future- if we don’t get a spam letter or 3 in our mailbox about this concert subscription thing i'm gonna be so disappointed

Dahl hates you if you’re not a fan of hyper-jazz, “you snob” lmfao

my brain hurts, they’re good at writing these 

damn phones exist? i thought everything was ECHO. aight, that’s good to know. i guess there just aren’t any phone networks around the border worlds

also “shared dreamspaces” sound really cool

hm. that’s no good lmfao. also i love that the buttons are ‘Agree’ and ‘OK’. there is no escape, once you agree, you can’t even leave because you’re agreeing that you’re trapped with these rules even if you cancel.

that’s fucked up, DAHL. can’t believe you treat your user base the same way you treat your employees. i guess i shouldn’t be surprised.

anyway, shoutout to literally the only TOA I’ve ever fully read in my life.

also, clicking through this TOA too fast WILL end claptrap’s voice line early. so be careful if you want to hear what he has to say!!

oh shit lmao I gotta go edit that Fl4k post

ok im back ~time magic of being able to save things in drafts and post them at a later date~

sliding preserves momentum, so you can actually slide (nearly) the entire way down! i love this.

small, but claptrap bends his antennae when trying to be stealthy. i thought that was a pretty cool detail

“and some guns include an alternate shooting mode~! try it out!”

player: `immediately shoots claptrap in the face`

i died lol

a very nice look at this sign.

good to know that the twins really are tempting people to join with promises of food. i mean it makes sense, i imagine most of the cultists are desperate for stability and a reasonable life on pandora.

also, Shiv calls himself “holy influencer of the children of the vault” lol. i love that. gearbox really is going for the internet’s throat, isn’t it?

i do like that hovering over an NPC will give you their name only and not name/healthbar.

a better look at one of the signs referencing the Mother!!! i was waiting for this, the only real look we got at one was in that one scene with Moze and IB

“Behold the Mother strength surrender to the truth” 

yeah that’s not ominous...

i assume the mother and father are intended to be tyreen and troy? but idk how i feel about that implication...

i like the new little gear/spring effect for the magnet lol

new lilith! i know a lot of people don’t like it, but i do. she looks better than the bl2 vers. altho i think it’s weird they swapped both bl1 and bl2′s ‘AI’ effect to those dots and then didn’t bring it to BL3. the dots effect felt cleaner. curious why they’re not applying it to bl3 when they went thru all that effort in 1 and 2.

... back up please.

i like that there is a changing icon for long pressing now

“time to check out our slay of the day!” sounds like Tyreen but tbh i legit thought this was moze’s reaction to opening the chest at first lol 

you can hear someone start screaming in agony while she’s walking up the stairs, so i know it’s not moze, but im so used to the VHs talking when they see a new piece of loot my brain just assumed.

also THE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS A REMIX OF BANDIT SLAUGHTER!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS I WAS FREAKING OUT THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT

also, claptrap when dropping health yells “this could save your life! then, you’ll owe me a life debt!” bullshit im pretty sure you already decided we owed you a life debt the moment we stepped off that bus

“i see it... the great vault” - a line from a cultist you kill

i know i mentioned in this post that the Great Vault may be already opened, but it could also just be a Vault they’re planning on opening and using the propaganda to convince the cultists to help them find it. 

“if you help us get this vault open, you’ll be handsomely rewarded! you’ll get superpowers! you’ll get regular meals! you’ll get money and guns and dates!” you know, the usual stuff. 

either way, elevating the Vault to a higher state (god/heaven/whatever) makes sense if you’re running a cult.

btw there is a hidden chest in the scaffolding to the left of the door, if you’re interested in grabbing some better guns before shiv. personally, i’ll be using the toy guns.

also the TVs are actually playing propaganda now!!

this one is asking questions that i cant understand due to the sound effects of the chest and claptrap talking, but it says something about “... the dust? ... join the Children of the Vault!”

“hey shiiiiiv all your dumb friends are dead!!”

shiv be like

“all my friends are dead”

some cool level-up art! I notice these are the same pictures as used on the japanese site. i wonder if they change depending on which VH you’ve picked (If you’re playing Amara/Fl4k, do you get pics of Amara and Fl4k? the player is playing moze, afterall).

also also “it’s a KIA on the knife wielding maniac. suuuper dead.” 

it’s cool that the VHs have specific lines for the deaths of bosses. i hope that continues and it’s not just a ‘15 min of intro gameplay’ thing. you know, where everything is super detailed in the beginning and then slowly gets less and less as the game progresses? anyway, moze’s little chuckle is fuckin adorable lol

ah. the door closes now so you can’t even explore Shiv’s room before Lilith shows up. gearbox plS you know me too well, i was looking for a g l i m p s e

claptrap’s voice line for getting released is SUPER off time, he hits the ground before going “you did it! i’m sa-ahhhhhhhh!” it’s weird, wondering if that’s just a glitch.

also also we get a nice listen to the revive ally sound. i could’ve sworn it wasn’t in the first look at this mission we got, because i heard it for the first time during the coop Zane/Amara gameplay on Promethea. i might be wrong, tho.

im very curious what these symbols are claptrap is beaming up

i mean you know what im gonna say

they look eridian

and they do

so wtf clappy why u beaming up eridian letters to Lilith

i assume maybe Tannis gave clappy some weird upgrade or something so he could communicate with the crimson raiders without the CoV listening in? it could be that Tannis or someone is decoding this message since Tannis does know how to translate Eridian (as shown in her bl1 ECHOs)

... or at the very least she gave Lilith a translator

the darkening makes it so that you can see the crackening. also this COULD just be a beam that lilith can see from wherever she is, but i want to believe there’s more eridian stuff. bc eridian stuff is fun.

this is so fu cking crisp im dying i love it

lilith’s tattoos spreading down her fingers

same symbol as her chest tattoo. maybe the symbol denotes new powers? like how lily has one on her chest for phasewalking, and a new one on her hand for teleportation

i love how her wings look like actual fire. i fucking love this

lilith is looking so fucking good in the new engine

im glad they got rid of her super red eyes, tbh it looked a bit weird

i think they are really pushing her fire affinity, im sure we’ll see Maya has an elemental affinity as well (im calling corrosive) and im sure Tyreen will too (slag). Amara looks to be Shock because that’s her ‘default’, but who knows until (if) bl4 comes out. but corrosive wings on maya would look SOOO fucking cool. please. please please please.

god she looks so good compared to bl2. i love how the tattoos softly glow in the dark, too. i gotta play this mission late in the day...

“you’re... the voice in my head, right?” i love this so much, i really hope my shitpost comes true.

lilith gives you a grenade mod for completing her mission! im really glad they are PUSHING through the tutorial/intro so you can get right into the game. bl2′s ‘intro’ of all these tutorials was brutal. especially waiting to unlock your action skill.

in 3 you get your action skill automatically at level 2!!! which is insane, i love it! they’re jumping right into it, it’s great. and they seem to be pushing for you to get all the stuff you need right away. 

it’s curious to note that in bl3 we get our class mods at the end of the Promethea demo (after Gigamind), since in bl2 you get your first (usually?) after the hunting the firehawk mission and both seem to take place immediately after we get to the ‘base of operations’ of the game (Sanctuary vs Sanctuary-III).

yep that quest is 100% in line with the quest marker. 

i imagine From the Ground Up may be discovering where the Vault Map/Key actually is? maybe bringing people to the Recruitment Center (notably Tannis)

for this scene. i hope this takes place after the HBC, because i seriously... can’t imagine the twins showing up, taking the Vault Map, bringing it to the HBC, and then NOT taking Lilith’s powers/trying to kill Lily and accidentally taking her powers. it just doesn’t make sense, Vault Hunters be damned, we are level 2 they could melt us easy peasy. 

If anything, it feels like we COULD find the Vault Map in the Recruitment Center, Tannis tries to activate it/fix it, we find out it’s mega broke, and then the Sun Smashers show up and take it. but i seriously can’t imagine Lilith nor the new VHs allowing that to happen while they’re still there. maybe if Tannis sends us to do something while Lilith is gathering other CR members? then it could make sense if they attack while Tannis is alone with the Key...

OR

we end up finding something in Shiv’s room that shows/helps us realize the Sun Smashers bringing the Vault Map to the Calypsos. tho this would mean the quest From the Ground Up is SUPER short and I imagine it’s not. Maybe we raid a camp of theirs like the one in front of Sanc-III with the bridge/ramp? We need to be about level 6 before we go and we start From the Ground Up at 2 so there’s obviously something DEEP we’re missing here. maybe this is a mission where we go gather the other Crimson Raiders? HMMMMMMMM...

.... oh.

nevermind lmfao

she opens her ECHO immediately after this LOL i feel kinda dumb now

raiding their camp it is! the Droughts sounds like a fun location. Very much like the dust. you guys think there’s a Shade situation going on there? i’m excited to see it. Still think we’re going to use Shiv’s room to get that lead, though. i just really wanna watch tv lmfao. i hope this means the bandits run from the camp to the HBC, or we find info that the bandit warchief sent a party to the HBC with the Vault Map. either way, i just don’t want the twins showing up until after the HBC or i will have so many questions. “why didn’t you kill lilith?” being the first. “the god queen wants her head!” ur goddamn right she does, so why doesn’t she (try to) kill lilith???

85% already?! hot damn

also

that’s one badass description there, Moze

also also

while having gun slots locked is pretty normal, im surprised they’re locking class mods and relics, too! i wonder when we’ll be able to equip relics. maybe when we first go to eden-6 or smth. or maybe after we meet up with Rhys. shit maybe he’s just handing us an artifact (im gonna interchange these a lot, sorry!) in that Promethea video lmfao

“ready to chuck some boom and frag some maniacs” lol moze i love you

if you’re playing Zane... `equips grenade mod for checkmark` `immediately equips second action skill and never actually uses grenade mod`

“it’s the firehawk! the god queen wants her head!” 

like i alluded to before, i would not be surprised if Tyreen doesn’t know she can absorb Siren powers... when she goes to succ lilith in front of Sanctuary-III, it’s totally possible she actually was trying to kill her. That could explain why she looks so intrigued at her hand like “oh shit okay lets see what this can do”

might be why she was okay with sending her cultists after her instead of showing up herself.

“alright, we got a foothold. maybe things are turning our way. come on killer, you’re with me” we are going to explore the SHIT out of shiv’s room.

alright alright alright

let’s move on to the Sanctuary-III stuff

yessss

i love the quest objective thing, it looks like we will be able to swap through our quests with the push of a button! also im curious why exactly we’re going to promethea right away. i wonder if the twins say something about moving there after getting the vault map/lilith’s powers, or if we hear from rhys. im expecting something about the vault map, since our vh will admit they don’t know rhys at all when talking to lorelei. but for some reason we need to be within the city limits? since lily says ellie got us within the city limits. 

hmmmmmm. okay, okay, maybe the map was trying to lead us to promethea for vault reasons during that short amount of time that we had it and it was working. maybe promethea is what we see when tannis is activating the key during that one cutscene? ohhh shit how dope would it be if we got that fucking easter egg message? omg “Children of the Vault. Come to Promethea. We are not on Pandora anymore. Tannis is not what she seems. Do not open the Vaults.” and everyone is like ‘uh did that thing just mention Tannis by name??’ and now it’s REALLY important to get the map back just so we can figure out wtf it’s trying to tell us. 

i will question how ‘Tannis is not what she seems’ would affect character relationships, especially if it’s said so early in the game. so perhaps we only hear the first part of the message. maybe it’s corrupted because it was recently broken. iunno. just playing around with ideas. the canon of this game is like flarp putty until sept. 13th

anyway moving on because this is literally the first f r a m e of the video

i like that you can see pandora’s eridian scar. if the destroyer is speaking through eridium to people, it’s gonna bust outta the side of this planet like you wouldn’t fucking believe lmao. eridium is a window to the soul and if you stare long enough into its glossy, shining sides, the destroyer stares back

that or it’s just like a beacon, slowly spreading its influence across the universe. but i like the idea that the destroyer can waltz out of a big enough hunk of eridium. so it will bust out of pandora’s eridium scar. F in chat for pandora but also lmfao the amount of tentacles and rage would be unparalleled.

reality is that the twins are probably farming this scar for eridium to turn into slag for multiple purposes. like brainwashing their cultists, giving them powers, and ensuring their guns have their manufacturer’s quirk (im getting to this in my next post bc im just gonna compile all the ign gun videos into one big post)

the floor art is different from the actual sanc-iii demo. i mention this first in my behind closed doors panel analysis, but im gonna mention it again because this is ~official~. the floor list on the first walkthru of sanc-iii we got had the names of all the crimson raiders and lines leading to their shops. so we had the infirmary/tannis, marcus, moxxi, etc listed on the floor. i imagine this new sanc-iii will change as we get more people on board or if we do a sort of re-decoration of the ship.

also also, it’s cool to see that we have 4 rooms on the minimap, likely one for each of the VHs (and your coop buddies). ive seen speculation that the other, non-played VHs will hang out in their rooms when you’re not playing them, and tbh i really hope this is the case.

we also know this version of sanctuary-iii is after pandora, so there are no promethea citizens aboard yet. which makes me double certain the first sanc-iii video we got takes place either after endgame (explaining why Lily has her tattoos back) or right after Athenas (explaining why Maya is there). which... i mean... spoilers, guys. 

that’s one good lookin fast travel station, holy shit

im in tears over here because “Caution: no steppy”. this is so fucking funny to me

no steppy on me

okay moving on because i will cry laugh over this for forever im allowed

moze’s room is so much different than amara’s

also i notice she’s on the left of the two on the top, which makes me hope the other 4 are reserved for the other VHs (or your coop buddy).

compared to the official sanc-iii demo video

and amara’s room

moze’s is so barren oh my god

someone get this girl like... a colorful throw pillow or something

baaank. also doubles as the secret stash. kinda upsetting, because that is infinitely less loot i can store when i make a lot of characters. also if i upgrade the bank once, is it upgraded across all my other characters too? or are the guns i put in storage slot 11 locked up until i buy the upgrade?

either way, i am saddened because no more mule characters. and way less space the more characters you make and more gear you find, because all gear you put in here is there across all characters. i hope this means our backpacks will be a lot bigger this time around!

supamax mfg shows up again

ppm/04-02 matches up with the number behind the fast travel station. i wonder if this will come into play. if the number changes later in-game im going to freak the fuck out bc that means wherever we are isn’t actually sanctuary-iii

ppm/04-02. remember that 👀

also, the wall behind the golden chest changed from red to steel/greenish. can’t tell the actual color. same as the floor

you know. that color.

“golden keys are popular. you can get some in-game and also get them online”

in-game you say??? im interested! i wonder if there will be some sort of arena (like moxxi’s) where if you complete it you get a key as a reward. i saw people speculating about some sort of randomized boss rush, that could definitely be a way to get gold keys, as well.

oooo engine room! im excited to explore here.

original size is 16. so, we have 40 backpack slots! still... you know... only 1 above the max of bl2, but hey. at least that’s an upgrade. as small as it may be

on the bright side: bank upgrades increase capacity by 5. with a base of 10, and 8 upgrades, we have 50 slots to fill. which is a big leap from the original 24. it is still a shame we have to share these across characters, tho

offline cultist stream? makes me think the CoV really was trying to steal/take over sanc-iii from the crimson raiders and we went to go take it (back?) in Taking Flight. either the CoV found/ordered Sanc-III, or the crimson raiders were building it/fixing it up, their stronghold got taken over, and the CoV were prepping it for takeover.

the shooting range. and if you notice that little CoV symbol in the bottom left there? yeah pretty much backs up my previous theory

all those red bits are tied to ellie’s crew challenge. so we’ll be collecting things for her!

an altar for scooter 😢

“we’re gonna get those cultism sumbitches, believe you me”

where you get yeeted out of Sanc-III. im definitely going to try jumping in it to see if it kills me. doesn’t look like the drop pods are available yet

that’s not clappy, pretty sure he’s hanging out on the bridge right now

schematics for veronica

the thing i was most excited about in this video!

loooots of customizations! which excites me because i know eridium used to get useless late game when you’ve grinded all the raid bosses. it looks like eridum is going to be in ultra high demand. but u can bet ur ass im gonna be unlocking all those fucking customizations asap.

veteran rewards is also super super interesting

hgggggg i wanna know what the shields do!!! 

i like the vault symbol at the top of the item card as well, shows you its a special type of weapon/item. im honestly surprised we’re able to buy ‘veteran rewards’ so early in the game? i mean obvi we won’t have enough eridium (look at the costs!) but it’s wild it’s even accessible. im personally a fan of the first bonus ‘anointed: gain life steal on action skill end’

looks like these guns have been chosen

to give them those special bonuses

i do see that just anointed is not class specific, but the ones that say anointed gunner or maybe anointed siren will be (confirmed by the devs in video).

you pay with eridium, so maybe the vending machine has some way to confer the power of eridium to the guns. or some shit. iunno. it’s possible this won’t be available until the end of the game, hence veteran rewards, and is only being shown to us right now since this is a showcasing video.

pandoran civilian. no promethea civilians today folks! i am CONVINCED that the old sanc-iii demo takes place after the end of the game. at least after athenas.

it’s weird seeing moxxi hanging outside her bar.

is also cool to know that the 4 slot machines are actually available. seems like npcs can play them, but we can use all 4 if we want to. which is really nice

the one on the far left is called the ‘loot boxxer’ and it gives mostly guns lol. i see they are taking jabs. good for them

better pic of the leftmost machines

Zer0 seems to have a bounty board? not sure if this is like a physical bounty board or if they will contact you when they want something dead, but it is cool to note. this isn’t shown in video, just the devs speaking about it.

similarly hammerlock has ‘big game hunts’ where you find “rare, challenging creatures” and kill them for him

apparently we’ll be killing something known as a manvark

this book

i fucking recognize this book

HAMMERLOCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

in all seriousness tho

hammerlock probably isn’t in his room because we haven’t rescued him from eden-6 yet.

a cool thing about the crew challenges: as you progress through the game and do these challenges, sanc-iii will ‘grow and change to reflect the things you’ve accomplished’. altho another dev says “sometimes these are optional things, like challenges” 

so now im like oh shit we’re gonna change sanc-iii as we play the game. i wonder if that means we’ll be changing the hull, too. because you know. the blue paint job. we gotta go STEALTH. sneaky beaky into the calypsos fleety

tannis doesn’t have the saurian on her table. also, interesting note, she DOES have the eridian log in the corner. meaning she must have had that before eden-6. interesting... maybe we’ll find more on Pandora.

she is still covered in blood tho. idk i don’t have an explanation for that. don’t think i want to think of one, to be quite honest.

oh no. (those are skulls next to all the gurneys)

“tannis plays a much bigger role in bl3 than she has in past games”. bigger than borderlands 1? that is... impressive. she’ll be running the health vending machines (which is weird bc i could’ve sworn in the promethea demo, zed was still running them... hm.)

another angle of sanc-iii

clappy? you good there?

the devs said they’re using him to plug a hole. i assume the calypsos shot at the ship as we’re leaving or smth.

lily with no tattoos, who also looks significantly more pissed than her other sanc-iii demo counterpart

you know. because she got her tattoos.

also

fucking

lilith says something right here. all i can make out is “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like tannis said. ..... [inaudible] Siren.” maybe some weird word i haven’t heard before? i swear she’s saying ‘like tannis said: a ‘m...’ Siren” but i am not 100% sure. if someone could help me out, that’d be rad.

so its sounding like lilith rushed in with explicit warning from tannis about tyreen stealing her powers, and tannis knew tyreen was some sort of Siren and warned lily, but lily didn’t listen. it could also be that lily is saying something like “im not a siren” but i can’t really hear it if she is. it sounds like she saying a word that starts with m to me. if someone could help me with this i’d owe you my life

whew. i am. fucking TIRED.

im gonna sleep for like 3 hours and then wake up and make food before the fl4k streams start.

[mattskeebah]

PLEASE READ

I know how much y’all hate “your fave is problematic” posts...but it’s necessary.

Summary: Matt Skiba, singer of the band Alkaline Trio and member of Blink-182, has nazi tattoos, is a fan of nazi bands, made tasteless nazi related paintings, is best friends with Boyd Rice, and in fact, owns nazi insignia. Matt claims to be a feminist but likes countless scantily clad pics of young models and sex workers and follows actual porn actresses on IG. Also, he never distanced himself from Asia Argento and still sells t-shirts with her face on them in his webstore. Matt supports the police and the military and he has a weird gun fetish. He attacked fans who criticized his behavior and his problematic associations.

---

WHY I STOPPED BEING A FAN OF MATT SKIBA

He supports the police as an instutition, specifically Chicago PD. He made a post on Instagram in favor of CPD which ofc received backlash from fans but he ignored the negative comments and brushed it off as “there are bad people in every profession” and then he deleted the post. Thanks to a Tumblr user who screencapped it: [x] please notice the tiny blue (lives matters) heart. Also, here are some “cute” pics of him wearing police-related stuff [x] [x] and check out this post of him “repping” new CPD merch on his car [x] (he disabled the comments).

He supports the military, which might be because his parents served in the Vietnam war, but that doesn’t make it less shitty. Examples for his military-support can be found all over his Instagram. [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] and so on... and in this post he’s delighted that a soldier in Afghanistan is wearing an Alkaline Trio patch. [x]

He’s close friends with Asia Argento / or had possible romantic relationship with her and he still sells t-shirts with her face on them in his merch shop. For those of you who don’t know her, she was one of the leaders of the #metoo movement but then it was revealed that she herself had sex with an intoxicated 17-year-old (!) and her bf Anthony Bourdain gave the boy money so he would keep his mouth shut about the incident, ((later Bourdain committed suicide))

Story of a fan who gave Matt a letter criticizing him for being friends with Argento, and the same night he posted a picture of her on IG (I think it was this post)… which seems like a subtle F*CK YOU at the person who gave him the letter. (he can’t take criticism, can he?)

His IG activity is .. something else. Matt’s major interests are motorbikes, cars, and young, attractive, half-naked models and strippers. One of his recent likes (nudity and bruises cw) [x] [x] [x] [x]….that one is an actual porn actress he follows and thirsts over: (more nudity cw) [x] he commented ‘cool butt momma. miss you xoxo’ [x] [x] (liked)…and my “personal fave” a picture with a sex worker [x] he deleted the picture ofc

HE LOVES GUNS (+said that he would use them) he has quite a big gun collection: SIG SAUERs, a Morning Star, many knifes, a shotgun, a Desert Eagle gun, a samurai sword, a faux snakeskin baton, and more stuff I can’t remember, he posted his collection on November 5th 2018 on IG, but unfortunately I didn’t take a screenshot!! but he posted them individually on IG. [x] [x] [x] [x] etc. and a recently deleted pic at the shooting range [x] ……also this pic exists.. edgelord (tw gun to the head).

In the comments of the same post (I swear on my life it’s real, you have to trust me) a user commented that he’s a Trump supporter but he would still defend Matt, even if he’s “politically left”. Matt’s answer: “I would defend you too, my man!”. o k a y. then Matt said he identifies as “quite a bit left” o K AY. MATT. Just so btw. the user also had a name including “88″ ( is a code phrase commonly used in fascist circles for “Heil Hitler”) or he just meant the year 88. but I saw some racist “memes” on his IG too.

Matt has a weird obsession with WW2. He literally watched a holocaust docu on HIS FUCKING BDAY (or at least he posted about it) and he said he collects WW2 books. Theoretically, nothing wrong with being interested in history, but in the context of everything… bad vibes……….

He really loves Nordic/Scandinavian-related stuff, like jewelry of the Hammer of Thor etc and he even uses MS runes for his merch. Runes are popular among occultists but they also have a really problematic history concerning WW2 and the nazis. Considering one of his most favorite bands Death in June mentions runes in their lyrics and they are a REALLY REALLY questionable band flirting with nazi imagery and being openly affiliated with fascist and far-right satanists, I have every right to question Matt’s intentions.

He literally has a crutch cross tattoo on his chest (which was used as the symbol of Austro-Fascism, and is also the logo of the neo folk - nazi band Blood Axis) PHOTO 1, PHOTO 2 and an EDELWEISS tattoo [x], which is the national flower of Austria and is considered a magical flower in occult circles. Nothing wrong with having a flower tattoo but it was used a lot in the context of nationalsocialism and “traditional values”. To add, it was also used as a symbol of the 1st Mountain division “Gebirgsjäger” in WW2 (Hitler’s elite formation of the Wehrmacht who were involved in large scale war crimes). 

Matt OWNS NAZI INSIGNIA. He is wearing a WW2 Edelweiss patch in this pic [x] and here [x] combined with a crutch cross patch (Alk3 used an iron cross backdrop at their concerts 2014ish and a crutch cross symbol on their guitar picks btw.)

He owns several Death In June patches, their merch [x] [x] [x] [x] etc. and other patches and buttons featuring nazi-related symbols. [DIJ WIKI]. He is also friends with their singer. Matt’s a huge DIJ fan, attended their concerts [x] and Douglas P. reads the intro of the Alkaline Trio song “I Found Away”. DIJ uses fascist symbols and “aesthetics” for the band, including an SS Totenkopf logo.

Matt painted the same logo and exhibited it at an art show [x]

HE LITERALLY DID PAINTINGS REFERENCING DOLLFUSS AND MUSSOLINI and another piece of “art” called “surf nazis” [x] what the actual f   u    c  k .. and here he is with his painting of Mickey Mouse as Hitler [x]

HE IS BEST FRIENDS with Boyd Rice, (here’s a picture of them holding Wolfsangels, a nazi symbol) they are REALLY CLOSE. According to Rice’s IG they meet every week and hang out and Rice considers Matt “family”… the entire Boyd Rice shit can be read in this post (important please read). Matt even attacked fans that were calling him out and called them stupid.

The first liked video on his Youtube channel is a video about neo-nazi biker gangs in Germany....... [x]

He is friends with Kat von D, she did a few of his tattoos and she appeared in the Alk3 video “Help Me”.

He collabed with Jeffree Star on a violent song [x]

He was at an art show of a friend who used nazi symbols (!)

posts like these [x] [x]

In this interview [x] he’s pretty much romanticizing that people got stabbed back then at concerts and that there was a big skinhead scene (he wasn’t “stoked” about the violence happening BUT “the energy surrounding” was “very ATTRACTIVE” to him. Make of that what you will.)

When he was a sophomore in HS (and on acid) he beat up a classmate who threw a U.S. flag on the floor. [x]

Matt made a racist remark a few years ago about Chinese people [x] and according to him //or he’s joking// he has a tattoo on his dick that says “welcome to Jamaica” which can be interpreted as racist.

Many of the movies he praises blatantly depict violence against women, like Blue Velvet, Funny Games, A Clockwork Orange (it has almost 3 rape scenes in the first 15 minutes), lyrics like “Radio” can be seen as misogynist, he literally wishes that his ex-GF (/or someone’s ex-gf) should take a bath with a radio and get electrocuted.

A person on IG commented that his ex-girlfriend accused him of domestic violence, I have no proof for that but he deleted the comments ofc and then a few days later he donated money to a women’s shelter in LA… which seems like he’s trying to avoid a shitstorm…

He compared L.A. women to zoo animals in this interview [x].

He cheated on his ex-gf(s) which I think should go on this list too.

Matt used to be a member of the Church of Satan, just leaving this here. you can argue if it’s good or bad but there seems to be a connection between satanists and neo-nazis .. sadly.

He listed the song* “Los Angeles” by X among his faves in this interview [x] (*edit: Someone has reached out to me and explained that the song was not racist, antisemitic or anything but from the *perspective* of a racist. However, we don't know Matt's reason for liking the song and considering his WW2 fetish, it's sketchy that he would consider the song as one of his favorites. Maybe he likes it because the song openly says things out loud under the veil of "sarcasm" that would be criticized under different circumstances. See also: [Oscar Wild was right.] Matt still listened to the band in 2014 and was at a concert of them [x], even months after their singer spew right-wing conspiracy theories concerning (school) shootings.

THIS FUCKING PICTURE OF HIM WITH A CHARLES MANSON DOLL AND A SW*STIKA. He still had the doll in other pictures [x] [x].

This picture I found on a fansite. It’s supposed to be Matt as a child.. where does that even come from and why is he wearing a military hat with something that vaguely looks like an eagle (?)

I can’t be the only one who noticed that but Matt had a vaguely ~nazi haircut thoughout the years and even some sort of nazi / white power aesthetic~ going on, even fans recognized it as such [x] [x] [x] and in the context of him hanging out with Boyd Rice like this in this picture [x] it’s safe to say he was EXACTLY GOING FOR THAT LOOK.

When he was in Germany during the Blink-182 tour 2017 he proudly posed at a famous Third Reich location in the Alps. Yk. nothing wrong with visiting historical locations but in the context of everything mentioned in this post. IT LOOKS REALLY BAD.

…probably more.. this man is a walking disaster

- - -

In this post I listed a lot, there are probably some things you would consider “minor” because they happened years ago but I thought I’d mention them anyway. Also, I’m not saying he has those beliefs but he definitely doesn’t distance himself from nazi(-sympathizing) scum like Boyd Rice and keeps being BFFs with him. And what’s up with the problematic tattoos and WWII insignia? I can’t be the only one who thinks this is not okay!!!

Thanks for reading.

[nova-friends]

Hello, Mr. E and fans. This letter will he a bit harsh, but I only speak the truth. I’ve been a big fan of the NVTFOA franchise for awhile, but the spark is dying down. Hell, we’ve been waiting for E to write a “new chapter” for more than a YEAR. Whenever he’s asked about it, he always says it’s coming soon. I was happy with the NVTFOA Tumblr because at least he’s keeping fans satisfied, but now he’s not doing THAT. It’s been months and he hasn’t answered anything. I’m angry with Mr. E right now

E: I am going to preface this entire thing with this: You are allowed to feel angry. You are allowed to feel that negative emotion because it is a healthy response. We as humans have those emotion to help us express what we are feeling and helps us get over our issues. What you should never do is act on that negative emotion because then you do something like this and I am forced to respond in kind. Don’t worry I am simply sharing insight with you. 

I don’t want anyone to respond omg this anon is a jerk and such a blah blah because based on the way this is written they were trying to be polite but firm which is a nice change of pace from the occasional asshat that leaves stuff in my inbox that I just delete because they’re just being an ass. It is well meaning ask but a little misguided. 

I am a person. I am not a machine that just cranks out stories because that is what I am forced to do. I have a life. I have responsibilities to people who depend on me and you are not entitled to anything. Do not get me wrong I greatly appreciate all the love and support I get so much that mere words can never properly express it but I do this for fun. I do this because I find enjoyment in it and I really wish I could get paid for this. I really wish I could sit back and write for the rest of my life with that being my job. You have no idea how much I wish I could make living off just doing something I love. Alas right now that’s not how it works. You say you speak truth but you don’t. You speak from the view of a reader whose favorite content who hasn’t been updated in 2 years which makes me honored you think highly of my work that it’s mere absence angers you. It’s kinda flattering. and I know you wrote this to express your frustration which as I have previously said is allowed. You were kind enough not to call me horrible words or demanding I write a chapter right now or you hate me. You express anger which I suspect might actually be more disappointment.  

I am human. I am one person and run this tumblr by myself. Deth does not run this and there’s no one helping me answering any of these questions. Deth has her own life and she can do whatever she wants because she is her own person. She is the official Nova artist because she’s a fan and I always so grateful for her work because she could give you things I never could as a writer. Many are not that lucky. 

Now let me enlighten you to the daily life of an E.

For 2 weeks every month I am the caretaker of my grandma whom I am lucky to have. She is 99 years old as of last week. She has a broken leg but she can walk because of a metal plate in her leg and a walker. She is very sharp and smart but she’s not there anymore. She suffers heavy from memory loss and pride. She doesn’t understand her leg is broken unless you remind her. She doesn’t understand she can’t help anymore or that she has asked me have I eaten breakfast for the 5th time in an hour. She loves me which is a testament to the work I do. When she is here I don’t sleep. From midnight to 6 am I watch her. I sleep with my door open. I listen for her in case she has nightmares (Rare but they happen) and I have to help her to restroom and then tuck her back into bed then maybe sleep for 20 30 minutes. an hour or 2 if I’m lucky until it is 6 am or she gets up again. I am getting older. I’ve finally shoved my pride and bought a baby monitor to ensure I don’t lose my mind. My grandma is getting older too and she’s getting more and more problems that are not easy to deal with. I’ve been watching her for 6 years but I have been taking care of her for the last 14.

Did you know that post I made a month ago was literally the first time I’ve been on vacation in 2 years? The first time in 2 years that I didn’t have to worry about anything aside my fear of heights which luckily I was able to control on my flight.

Then recently this last week we decided to change the flooring in our rooms. I had to physically move every single piece of thing I owned out of a tiny doorframe and find space for it along with my grandma’s stuff while my grandma was here and let me tell all that stuff in the living room really threw her off. 

Today was literally the first time in a month that I could actually hop on a computer to answer asks (Excellent timing btw). And honestly some days I look at that 141 asks inbox of nova (and the 22 stories prompts I haven’t written in my writing blog) And go “I don’t know if I am up for it today.” And I legit feel bad. I feel I should answer this consistently but last year really fucked with me to be honest.

Last year I lost my favorite uncle. I didn’t want to mention it because I didn’t want to hear I’m sorry or my condolences for your loss. I was angry because for the first time in my entire life, the first time ever I felt cheated. I felt robbed. It was a whole background of problems but long story short is that I didn’t really get to see him often and his death felt like a sucker punch. I...yeah. 

And that messed with my writing schedule and I am the type of person that once that is gone, it is so hard to get back in the groove of things. It is a very unfortunate flaw I have and I have been trying to get back into it but it’s hard.

I have been writing for 16 years of my life. I can write 1,335 words an hour if I’m focusing. it still takes 2 to 5 hours for me to write an average story of mine because boy am I wordy and that’s just my style plus an 30 minutes to proofread (which I still make mistakes) and another 30 to answer reviews. Then the last two season for star vs I personally don’t think they were good and that really hurts my motivation. and sometimes I want to write other stuff. Other stories or ideas, original and other series because damn do I have too many ideas. 

and of course I have to decide what to do with Nova. I love this series because this was the first time I felt like I could be a real writer. To create original ideas and series and have people love them. Like them. Invest in them. Like a real author. I’ve been writing since a time fanfiction was considered lesser. You weren’t a writer if you wrote fanfiction or aus or put ocs in a series and it took me a long time to get over that finally show Nova to the word. and my own original stuff. And of course the show threw so many curve balls at me and went in such wildly crazy directions that it directly affects nova since nova takes place 20 years in the future and I had to decide, on my own because Deth is a reader too and doesn’t want spoilers, what to do. Do i change the story I had plan, do i find ways to fill in the holes accidentally created for me? do I keep on going and just call it a future au where different choices and events just happened (Which i decided yes). I decided to keep the original plan. The plan I created when I first started this. and of course I left the cliff hanger on a fight scene. Fight scenes are very hard to keep engaging and epic yet clear and I haven’t properly written an like a year and I have to come back to a freaking fight scene. 

Literally the next chapter of the story is to show you this is the next arc of nova. this is the main arc of the entire story.

First Movement: A Magician’s Forte.

I’ve been waiting to unveil that chapter title for 2 years. 

Look I am not doing this to shame you or to make you feel bad. I doing this to remind you that I am a human being. Writers and Artists are human beings. I do this with my own time, effort and finding ways not to get burnt out and keep fitting this whole thing I love into my life. And I have always been honest with you. I answered an ask openly stating there was the real possibility that maybe I couldn’t finish Nova. That I would post my notes up so you all would get to at least know the things I had plan. 

If you are still angry, then I am sorry I lost you as a fan and as a reader. It is what it is. But you need to understand I am a person. it is super easy to have this blurred view where somehow your favorite content creator is somehow beyond the issues and problems of the world. But we’re not. We’re people too. I am just a guy that likes to write but I have a life beyond that too. 

Hope you have a great day and I hope you’re a little less angry now. 

[sm-entertain-me]

Technically Off Limits (E)

Requested by @sarangtae-vante:  Hey love, can have an imagine where you've been fan of bts for a long time but then you actually get recruited in their tech team and it was really hard not to fan girl around them but they made you fell really comfortable. And then any of the member (jin or jk or jimin or all) finds that you have a crush on taehyung and you can take from here.i don't mind if it's a fluff or mature. (I decided fluff, btw)

Contains: Kim Taehyung x (f) reader, adult language, FLUFF, tech team!reader, Bighit employee!au

Synopsis: Congratulations on you getting hired on Big Hit Entertainment's tech team! It makes all those computer science classes worth it to be able to work for your favorite company. However, it’s made very clear that you are not to be romantically involved with any of the talent... 

The day you got the email to join Bighit's tech teams was not one you would easily forget. Although the events leading up to it were something to be desired since you had gotten yelled at by your boss, well, ex boss. It was a cold, rainy day and you had gotten home around 9 o'clock ish because of the intense hours your employer chose to put onto you, serving as a "warning" to not be late again. Everything seemed to be going wrong until you opened your email to find a special piece of mail sitting at the top of your inbox, shining with bold letters. You had a good feeling what the email contained, but you weren’t sure that it was an opportunity to change your life forever.

Ever since then, you’ve been whisked away to Seoul to help out with minor technical issues with Bighit’s offices and stuff like that. Most of the employees didn’t really speak English that well so they often sent one of the trainees or other rookies that had recruited from English speaking countries to give you orders. Honestly, even though you were living your dream, it was a little bit boring to you. You were under the impression you would be working closely with the artists that have been produced from this company, not fixing minuscule viruses that would pop up occasionally because of the trainee artists clicking on emails that they really shouldn’t be. You weren’t going to name names of course because that would be embarrassing for them as well as you, since you knew what kind of emails were causing the viruses. Still, a job’s a job.

It was a little later than when you were supposed to get out, getting sucked into helping with PD-nim’s technical issues with his sound system in the office. You didn’t complain because he was a very nice man, and he was easily the most powerful person in this whole facility and could ship you right back into the shithole of a life you had prior to this. “Need help with that?” A familiar voice called out from behind you, causing you to jump where you stood and dropping some of your tools on the ground. You held your hand over your heart as you inhaled sharply, turning on your heels to find Jungkook standing there with his goofy smile after he realized he scared you pretty badly. “Jesus Christ, Kook,” You groaned as you doubled over and held onto the caps of your knees, still trying to get your breathing down to a semi normal rate.

“What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you have gone home like, half an hour ago?” Jungkook questioned as he slipped through the opened doorway and stood next to you, sitting down in PD-nim’s swivel chair to tend to the need of Twitter for another selca. Rolling your eyes lightly, you nodded at him as you grabbed the tiny screwdriver that lay on the ground, “Yeah, but I have to get this done. I’m so close to being promoted to your guys’ technical manager.” It was true. You were very close to being promoted to being one of the on hand tech managers whenever the guys went on tour. Although you only really gotten close with Jungkook and Jimin, you were more than happy to get to know the rest of them. Especially Taehyung.

Ah yes, Kim Taehyung. He was easily the most beautiful person you had ever laid eyes on. He had a smile that could melt you into a puddle, eyes that were the softest shade of brown and could carry the whole light of the world in them, and a laugh that always made you smile. However, you never really got to know him because you were super shy and didn’t want to ruin any part of the nonexistent relationship you had, he was talent and you were instructed to never get involved with any of the talent as your job was just to make sure everything was running smoothly in the tech department, and you rarely got to see him outside of practice. It was a shame really because you felt like you and Taehyung would really hit it off. You did, however, come really close to asking Jungkook to be your wingman, but you knew that if he found out your true feelings about his bandmate that he would surely make your life a living hell with the constant teasing and pestering. 

“Hey! Y/N! Did you even hear me?” Jungkook’s voice rang out to you from his position behind you, yanking you back into reality. You turned to face him with a look of confusion, still gripping the screwdriver in your hand that had yet to move from your thinking about Taehyung. That earned an eye roll from Jungkook as he stood up and came towards you, waving his hand in front of your face to bring you completely back from the vice grip your thoughts had on you, “Geez you checked out for a good minute there. What were you thinking about?” “No one,” You responded simply, turning your back to him to continue your work. That was, until Jungkook reached out to grab your shoulders and turn you completely around, “Y/N, I said what were you thinking about, not who. But now you’re going to tell me who or I’ll break PD-nim’s sound system even more than it is now.” “You wouldn’t,” You seethed, narrowing your eyes at the young man in front of him who wore a smirk like it was a permanent part of his body. “Try me.”

Jungkook was a persistent one, you’ll give him that. He wouldn’t let you leave the room, wouldn’t let you pick up the screwdriver to continue your work, and surely wouldn’t let you change the subject. He even resulted to yanking the screwdriver away from you until you at least gave him a hint on who had taken your full attention. “Is he older than me?” Jungkook questioned as he fiddled with the tool needed to finish the job, knowing it was annoying you. “Yes,” You grumbled as you walked over to the desk, sitting on it casually. Jungkook’s lips formed a smile as he looked up at you to continue his questioning, “Is he in BTS?” “Kook, seriously,” You groaned as you tried to grab the screwdriver that was dangerously close to your hand but he was way too quick, looking at you until you answered him. With a huff and a sigh, you answered, “Yes.” Jungkook chuckled, “Of course he is. That’s why you want to be on the tech team, you like someone in the band. Is it Tae Tae?” 

The sudden silence that filled the room was more than enough to answer Jungkook’s question as you looked down at your hands, twiddling your thumbs as if you were ashamed to admit it. Jungkook saw the sudden drop of your face and quickly walked over to you, bending down to meet your eyes, “Hey. It’s okay. Taehyung is a really nice guy and I’m sure that I can get you two to go out or something.” “No,” You protested as you looked away to hide the redness that was spreading through your face due to embarrassment of this whole conversation. “I’m not allowed to. I’m here to work, not date. PD-nim made that very clear.” You watched as Jungkook rolled his eyes, grabbing your face to look at him, “Y/N, do you realize how many people here have had romantic trysts with the artists here? The answer is a lot. Now, I’m going to set you up with Taehyung and you’re going to enjoy yourself. Besides, maybe he likes you too.” “Who likes who?”

The voice that asked that question didn’t belong to you or Jungkook. You both turned to the source of the noise, coming face to face with the very person you were just talking about. “Taehyung,” You said with widened eyes, trying to hide your face that still had the prominent redness from Jungkook’s pestering. Jungkook stood up quickly and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “Oh, nothing Tae.” Taehyung’s lips formed a pout as he entered the office, walking to stand right next to you and offering a smile at you before he spoke, “Come on Kook, I barely get to hear any drama anymore. I wanna know.” Jungkook looked down at you, silently asking you to handle the situation since it was really your feelings being discussed. Taehyung also looked down at you, waiting to see if you would tell him even though you knew it could ruin any chance of getting that promotion you desired. 

“I... I don’t really want to tell you,” You admitted, stammering almost every single word that poured out of you because of the nervousness that sat in your stomach from Taehyung being so close and having to admit your feelings to him. Taehyung sighed as he grabbed your hand in his, stroking the top of it with his thumb, “Y/N, you can trust me.” You were kind of shocked that he actually knew your name considering he’s really only said hello a few times to you when he passed through the hallways or the elevator to get to the practice rooms, but you weren’t complaining. Jungkook was standing opposite the two of you as he watched the way Tae was holding your hand, awkwardly shoving his hand into his pocket, “Oh um, by the way... I may or may not have already said something about you liking him.”

“You fucking what?” You yelled, snatching your hand out of Taehyung’s and rushing over to Jungkook to grab him by the collar, shaking him as hard as you could even though it barely made the bulky kid move. “You told him?!?” “To be fair, it was kind of obvious. Yoongi-hyung and I had a bet to see how long it would take for Tae to find out, so I told him so I could win the bet,” Jungkook admitted as he let you continue to shake him back and forth against the wall. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You trusted Jungkook. Actually, you hadn’t even told him that you had feelings for Taehyung, so you were more shocked at the fact that it was so obvious to everyone else besides you. You thought you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, but your actions prove otherwise. 

You finally calmed down at you let go of Jungkook’s collar, pushing the fabric out so you could smooth the wrinkles you caused. Sighing softly, you pressed your fingers to the bridge of your nose to control yourself, “Kookie, I’m sorry. I just, I really want this promotion and the whole reason I hadn’t said anything was so that PD-nim wouldn’t find out and threaten to terminate me... And now Taehyung knows, and so does Yoongi. God I’m screwed.” A soft hand found the base of your shoulder blade, rubbing it lightly as the person it belonged to spoke quietly, “No, no. You’re not screwed. PD-nim doesn’t have to know anything about it. Y/N, you’re a great tech expert. And if you hadn’t noticed, we kind of have a say in who’s in our tech group on the road. Both Kook and I can vouch for you. Hell, even Jimin can vouch for you.” 

You turned on your heels to look up at Taehyung with eyes that had a few tears being held back sicne you thought you would surely get fired, “You-You’d do that? For me?” Taehyung smiled softly at you, his eyes forming deep crescents as he looked at you, “Of course I would. You’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever seen, and you’re also the kindest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.” A smile found its way onto your face as you looked down to hide the small blush, afraid Taehyung would catch it.

 A hand gripped the bottom of your chin and pulled you to look up, your eyes meeting once again with Tae’s, “And about you liking me, let me ask you a question. Has it ever occurred to you that I always say hi to you in the elevator when the practice rooms are below the tech department? They’ve never been above.” It all made sense to you. Taehyug had no reason to be on the elevator with you for so long. The practice rooms are on the third floor and the tech department is on the fifth. He’d gone out of his way to stay on that elevator to say hi and strike up seemingly meaningless conversations with you. That was sure to get your heart racing.

“So are you going to ask her or what? I did my part,” Jungkook said impatiently, interrupting your conversation as he stood with his arms crossed. “She nearly ripped my shoulder out of place by shaking me so hard.” Taehyung rolled his eyes at Jungkook and motioned for him to leave, Jungkook giving at nod to the both of you to say his farewells. You tilted your head at Taehyung, wanting to know what he meant by “I did my part.” Taehyung smiled a nervous smile, gripping the back of his neck and giving a good scratch, “I may or may not have planned this out since Kook told me about you liking me a couple months ago. I didn’t know how to go about it since we barely talk, but I would love to get to know you, if that’s okay.” Taehyung saw your face contort to show your nervousness, still thinking about how you could lose your job over this. Until he used an argument you simply couldn’t resist, “It’s just one little date. What PD-nim doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” 

Little did you know that the one little date that Taehyung was talking about turned into another date, and another one, and him asking you to be his girlfriend after you got your promotion to the BTS technical manager. Once you were promoted, PD-nim really had no grounds to fire you since you and Tae were dating after you got your promotion... Or so he thought. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

[br0kenphantasy]

Avengers End Game

Where do I begin. *breathes*

I hated the ending. I just. Hated the injustice of it.

Unapologetically, I will say I love Tony Stark. I will defend him with my life. The beauty of his characterization was that despite everything the world has thrown at him - the corruption in SI, the betrayals, the poisoning, the lies - he picked himself back up and tried to make the best of what he could. He was human in the way that he hurt, he was irrational and would lash out, that sometimes things would get so bad it felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He was relatable. Tony Stark told a story of how in spite of your trials and tribulations, you can tide through it. And for him to die... It broke me.

This is not a story of hope.

He had a family. He moved on. He was in his happy ending and he stepped out only to be met with this. And the worst part is that Pepper is right in the worst way possible - the greatest injustice done to Tony Stark is that as much as anyone might loathe him, they have always needed him. He was not appreciated for all he has done and that kills me. They cannot wrest him from his death bed no longer. Yes, he can rest.

But at what cost?

Of saying that being a man like him, having taken so much abuse, the light at the end of the tunnel is death? This is not a story about hope. It is not a fucking triumph. Closing off an arc does not have to necessitate a death. He could have retired. He could have lived happily in the background with Pepper.

And see - personally, I thought Tony would die in the movie even though I fervently wish he didn’t. Infinity War predicted it:

STRANGE: If it comes to saving you, or the kid, or the time stone, I will not hesitate to let either of you die. I can’t, because the universe depends on it.

...

TONY: Why would you do that?

STRANGE [to Tony]: We’re in the end game now.

And then he proceeds to ensure that Tony lives. The fact that only him and Nebula are left on Titan reiterates the fact that Strange is telling him that he is a key piece to ending this. And if you think Tony did not prepare, you are wrong.

The gauntlet manages to hold up the combined powers of the stone in spite of Thanos’ gauntlet having been made by a legendary craftsman. He expands his expertise to quantum physics and that is not a coincidence. Why he is able to tell Lang his stint is a one in a billion chance fluke is because he has ran the numbers. The entirety of the five years, Tony has not idling. He knows its got to do with time because that’s what Strange represents.

That’s what he does. He tries to fix things even if it seems impossible. His mind won’t stop running until he gets it.

And Strange’s bet on Tony is answered. He trusts that he’ll learn from Quill’s rage, Thor’s complacency, or the harms of stalling. He trusts that Tony will do everything in his power to reverse this and make it better.

The final nail in the coffin: when he saw Strange’s signal, he immediately understood what he had to do. One possibility. One snap. One person who could do it before Thanos does.

And he doesn’t hesitate about doing it because that is the strength of his character. That no matter how much the world hates him, he loves the world because that’s where his beloved are. For them, he is willing to do everything, even if the price is himself. See? It falls in line with his character, it’s predictable.

Even at that still moment, where he closes his fingers to snap, I held my breath with tears in my eyes. He was awe-inspiring in his determination, battered and bruised as he was, as he declares for one, final time:

I am Iron Man.

It was glorious even as I burst into tears because I knew he wouldn’t survive this last sacrifice.

But what makes it absolutely maddening is when you compare it Steve.

I cannot believe the absolute injustice they did to his character.

Captain America: The First Avenger (they might need to change that since Carol is technically the first btw) was first conceptualised when Director Joe Johnston wanted to put Steve Rogers in the present day to let him adapt and grow as a character.

Following that, The Winter Soldier and TFA were meant to show how Steve would go through Hell and high waters to save his best buddy Bucky Barnes. It does land in the characterisation that Steve misses the past (as he should) and also the loyalty he has for him, to the point where he would chase after a ghost for the better part of two years.

However, note that it’s slowly eroding what Director Johnston intended. He’s not adapting to the future but clinging to the past. Like, let’s not even talk about Civil War.

In End Game alone, by giving him the ending where he chooses to remain in the past, it is inherently problematic on so many levels.

1. His loyalty to Bucky is now moot.

2.  Attachment to the past? Somehow Peggy, a woman he knew for maximum a year (and this is being generous considering how he constantly had to go out for campaigns), weighs more than Bucky Barnes who was his childhood friend? Like, excuse you???

3. Following item two, you basically rendered Civil War useless. Throw away the fact that you defied 117 countries for your best friend. You somehow seem alright with leaving him alone in the present, thanks Cap.

4. Marrying Peggy Carter despite knowing she had a full life and a happy marriage after you. The children? Naw. Sharon Carter? Remember you kissed her? It really makes him look like he was using her as a replacement and that’s insulting to her.

Point is, all these are incredibly out of character. Steve Rogers, whatever he was, is now a caricature; the height of self-serving interests.

This is not even taking in account of the time travelling. If Steve did nothing to preserve the timeline like Strange, it makes him complicit in the crime. For a measure of how out of character it is, he willingly sacrificed himself and sank a plane and the Tesseract to stop HYDRA. He let SHIELD burn to the ground because of an HYDRA infestation. Him letting HYDRA grow like weeds, let his best friend continue to be HYDRA’s slave makes no sense. It completely tarnishes the fact that Captain America was meant to be a paragon.

Russo Brothers, from the zenith he came from, you brought him down to the grave. You have ruined all the hardwork you’ve put into his trilogy - the significance, the meaning... everything. And I hope you’re satisfied with the blackened legacy you have made for yourself.

To give Steve this “happy ending” with Peggy, something should have long passed against taking away Tony’s chance of happiness in the present is an absolute piss off.

Look. There are things I love about the film.

I was going to list them because they deserve a mention too.

I wanted to talk about the brilliance that was Natasha’s death even though it hurt me so much. How Scarlett Johansson truly portrayed her growth so wonderfully How Natasha, who spent her life trying to make better with her sins, trying so hard to clean the red off her ledger finally did so by bleeding all over the pages.

That in her fall, she goes back to red. A full circle. And she did what she wanted: she managed to save trillions of lives.

I wanted to talk about Clint’s descent, and how the two found salvation in one another. How they gave each other another reason to smile and try again. Their willingness to sacrifice themselves for each other’s happiness and that is one of the best relationship dynamics I’ve seen on screen.

How devastating it must have been for Clint, to see Natasha die from a bird’s eye view because they truly started how they ended: he was supposed to kill her from afar but chose not to, granting her redemption instead. And she found redemption through sacrificing for him, but it causes him to witness the one thing he sought to prevent.

I wanted to talk about Nebula’s growth. The small moments of family dynamics. Pepperony. Tony’s last will - a love letter to his family and the fans. How he did the one thing his father never did for him: he reminded his child that he loved her endlessly. So many moments where it brought tears to my eyes for good reasons.

But I’m exhausted, in numbness, outrage and sadness.

The characters deserved better.

[shijiujun]

History3: Trapped FanMeeting Summary - I am an embarrassment to this fandom

Okay guys let me summarise what happened today for the fanmeet - I fucking, absolutely fucking died - Like I died both from excitement and quality content and more importantly, for BEING A FUCKING EMBARRASSMENT IN FRONT OF CHRIS BUT MORE ON THAT IN A SEPARATE FUCKING POST OH GOD 

General comments on the event: Chris and Jake’s friendship is okay I think, and I guess putting it in perspective, Andy and Kenny are way better at fanservice and knows what the fans want, while Jake firstly isn’t really the kind to really go overboard on the fanservice with Chris due to his personality I feel, although there was still quite a bit of fanservice between them both - But it was more genuine I feel because Jake or Chris would jump in with something clever and a bit flirty, it felt really natural actually - And also because Jake srsly looked confused half the time regarding what they were supposed to do for the games and segments - More on that below

But more importantly I think jake is legit busy with work, and he’s not really a person to do stuff on social media, it’s not in his personality but he tried today hahaha with a post after the event - jake says that whenever he logs on once in a while he always sees chris’ handsome photos and he looks so good, and chris replied that jake looks... down to earth in his photos hahahahaha

So a few highlights:

Freebies!! There are so many freebies from dedicated Taiwanese fans literally just giving out shit for free - banner prints, stickers, hair clips, photo cards etc. - We took a lot and we’re going through what we have right now, but would you guys want some of the freebies? Let me know!!! If the shipping cost makes sense I’m totes fine with sending you guys some of the loot

Saw Jake’s back going into the building in the morning in front of all the fans because I was too slow but I did see his back 

WeStar is literally in the heart of downtown and it was frickin packed - We started queuing at like 11am+? And there were only 2 lifts to get everyone up to the EIGHTH FLOOR and each lift could only hold like less than 15 people? And there were like 700 of us. Luckily my friend and I were in the front of the queue and managed to get upstairs with the second round of lifts (the staff were asking some of us to take the stairs because it was faster, and it wouldn’t be faster if I died on the stairs while getting upstairs)

In terms of organisation - It wasn’t half bad because we were lucky where we were, we were always in the right queue and right area, but there were literally zero directions or instructions on where to queue or how to go upstairs etc. etc.

Too bad we were seated in row 16 which was actually pretty far, and we were blocked by too many people in front of us and i’m literally like 157cm so wow I really was blocked really bad BUT we could still see the stage

There were like two tables in the hall that allowed us to leave gifts for the four of them - So in my other video you guys saw that I actually did deliver the message books! They’ll definitely get it I think, no chance of it dropping out or mistaken for anything else considering the covers

The event actually started more or less on time - And the hosts were great - There’s Xiao Yi and Chen Chen (they’re both hosts from showbiz, the variety show) and they were fucking good as hosts - Xiao Yi has hosted quite a number of their events, and if it wasn’t him the event would have gone a bit differently

They started singing the opening song for the show first together, coming on stage and like rotating turns to sing a line - They tried the boyband formation it was quite hilarious

They introduced themselves as always - And can I be the one to first say that Jake’s fugly shirt - Fashion was absolute shite at his event - At least Chris had like a suit on even tho i take issue with the print on the suit itself, but wow Jake really went for... wannabe gangster loan shark OR grandmother’s quilts put together - i dont know which is worse idk guys, is it just me or my eyes or is it really fugly - Andy and Kenny were perfect tho

So they began with some best couple scene recaps through the show:

Jack/ZZ - 1st grandma/instant noodles scene, and the ep 20 scene where Jack is trying to confess to ZZ while ZZ is angry

Tangfei - Jealous andy scene at the tea place, the touching hospital scene, and the lift scene from ep 1

They recapped these scenes one by one, alternating btw the couples and then the hosts asked what they thought about each scene when they were filming it and LOL jake and chris were like laughing and being embarrassed when certain scenes came on, and then for the 1st grandma/instant noodles scene, kenny said it was a really cold day that day when he filmed that scene and the noodles were actually ice cold and he had to keep eating it - andy like patted kenny on the back 

for the touching hospital scene - jake said that it was easy to act out because the emotions always came through the moment he looked at chris, and chris said he was really touched by that moment, by jake’s acting

the lift scene was quite tough to act out because of how long they took to get the logistics right

And while the angry ZZ and jack scene from ep 20 was being shown on the screen, ON STAGE kenny and andy were literally reciting their lines and re-enacting the scene

And then Xiao Yi asked the audience which scenes would we like the couples to act out - and everyone was just yelling for the lift scene re-enactment - but logistically that was hard to do and chris was like, “if there’s no lift we can’t do the scene!!!” 

Then Andy and Kenny offered to be the walls of the lift for them but Chris was like whoa then that’s a bit weird because when Jake is slammed against the wall in the lift, that part, Jake will turn around and crash into Andy hahaha so they decided to re-enact the jealous scene instead - with a few additional lines hahaha and then andy and kenny re-enacted the part where jack asks zhao zi if he wants him to stay or go

and then the next segment - there was a game where each couple is supposed to stand together on a piece of newspaper and play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses will get their piece of newspaper torn into half - in the end chris and jake won hahaha but both jake and kenny ended up being piggy-backed by chris and andy respectively hahahaha it was cute

then chris and jake went off stage to take a short break, and since andy and kenny lost, they were punished to do the titanic pose and lines which kenny had to do in half english and chinese

then jake came on stage to sing I’m Yours - he was super nervous so he false started a few times, but he was pretty good and he has a very nice smooth tone - and i think a lot of people didn’t know the song in the audience LOL and then as he left the stage after his performance he left a bouquet of flowers for chris who was coming up next

chris came up after to play the piano and sing some chinese song i’ve heard before but don’t know the name of - and then after he finished he was very touched by the bouquet and then some member in the audience shouted to ask for the bouquet and chris protectively hugged it, but decided to give her one stalk anyway, and when he was giving it out, jake literally came out and then chris was explaining to him like why he was giving away his gift, and jake said, “yeah that’s okay, he knows my heart” AWWWW

then they all came back on stage for a segment of talking where Xiao Yi revealed their childhood photos - jake/kenny/andy were very talkative and chatty when they were younger and andy was isolated in the middle of the classroom, while kenny was directly placed outside of the classroom because he was so noisy, and omg jake was a little chubbier when he was younger and he didn’t like to study HAHAHA

chris was a shy boy and still is apparently!!! and he got a lot of love letters when he was younger and he couldn’t believe that jake/kenny/andy didn’t get any, and then when jake’s childhood photo came out he jokingly said, “now i can finally understand why (you didn’t get any letters”

then we had andy and kenny singing and dancing to marry you totally out of beat, poor guys they tried, and kenny totally missed an entire line, but they were so sweet - they ran off the stage and threw sweets at the audience, and andy said he was thankful to kenny for practicing the dance repeatedly with him because he’s not good at dancing and then they hugged awww it’s cute

fan games: LOL okay so interesting thing was that all the fans said they didn’t want to play the games with the cast but instead wanted to watch the cast play the games so in the end they randomly chose four of the audience to go on stage to watch the cast play the game LOL - so the ones picked were two men and two women #genderequality

1st game: chris/jake and jack/kenny had to feed each other a sushi piece i think, or a pastry i’ve no idea but one of them was filled with chilli, so the challenge was for the audience to guess which of the four of them ate the chilli one, and jake said he can’t stand spicy food and if he had it he’d totally show it on his face - in the end it was kenny who ate it and literally no one could tell

then the second part there was a huge confusion because the hosts weren’t very clear on who was supposed to play the game in the next part - anyway, so they had a how-well-they-know-the-cast quiz with the fans - and here we know that chris likes blue, winter because that’s his birthday period and then he and jake had a moment where they were like ‘oh your birthday is in december too?!!!!’ LOL, kenny likes to eat bbq meat

then the next part, they had the fans on stage and jake + andy drink a sweet drink and also a bitter drink, everyone had to figure out who is the one with the bitter drink and lol jake was so sweet he didn’t want the fans to be punished with the bitter tea, and chris said that he’ll help him to finish the drink if it’s really bitter, and jake was like, “because you’re here, i’m not scared”

afterwards, ezu came out to sing a ballad version of the opening song that made people around me cry hahaha

and also kenny announced a third fanmeeting stop in taiwan after chengdu, on 18 august in taichung

and then there was the hi-five touch and photo thingy - and you guys already know that i fucked it up i am still wanting to cry - i know he doesn’t remember but god I WANT TO BE THE ONE WHO DOESN’T REMEMBER

but i touched their hands hahaha

anyway at the end, jake said that no matter where he is, where we see him in the future, he’ll always be the same jake, and i think this is beautiful

they had the afternoon tea party after the event and from photos i see that it was like a mini-fanmeeting where fans could sit closer to them and really like be able to talk to them, and jake/chris and andy/kenny were very friendly and accommodating from what i see

when we went back to the building at about 6.20pm there was still this long queue outside the entrance, and i went for dinner so i didn’t actually stay to wait for them to come out, but a lot of fans did - jake was surprised so many people were waiting for them outside and he left first - andy/chris/kenny left together in a van and chris was holding a huge bouquet of flowers

if you go on twitter/weibo you can see that jake talked to a lot of fans, said hi to the ones who called out his name, and someone asked if he was tired and he said he was still okay

chris was bowing repeatedly the entire time he was walking through the crowd to the van <3

[lynzuglyliar]

The Lynz/Steve Righ? Affair: A Masterpost

Buckle up, this is going to be a long post. I’ll add to it if more info comes to light.

So the other day there @Jessicka Addams (artist/singer/ex-friend of @LynzWay) dropped this bomb on twitter:

It was tweeted on both her personal account and @JOJ_Official’s account (Jack Off Jill- one of her bands- the other is @scarling which includes her husband @xtianaddams). It seemed to infer that Lynz and @steverigh had had an affair while he was married. It was later deleted from both accounts, but not before people grabbed it and it caused a shit storm on social media. People called Jessicka crazy and a liar but then this happened:

Who is Lucinda? Lucinda Montano is Steve Montano’s (aka Steve Righ?) wife. Here is a bit about her:

And here they are together:

It looked like Lucinda was fighting with Jessicka (maybe it wasn’t true?) but then this happened:

So you might say this account is fake. No pic, no way of knowing this is Lucinda, right? Well luckily she set up another account with a pic to prove that it’s her and seemingly came out in support of Jessicka:

This would confirm that Lynz and Steve DID do the do.

Further evidence suggests that it is the same Lucinda who runs both twitter accounts- one private (the original @Lucinda35144711 - now protected tweets) and the one above @Montano_Lucinda, which is public. They follow the same people, in the same order which if the account is private (and it only has 7 followers) should not be able to be seen by the masses. PLUS the private account was set up first so the ‘real’ Lucinda (the confirmed Montano_Lucinda) would have to have copied that account to make them look the same. Seems unlikely. Proof:

And @MissZenyawho both accounts follow is a Justin Timberlake crew member and real-life friend of Lucinda (as can be seen on her official business Instagram accessible at Instagram.com/Lucinda_Montano) where they interact. Fun fact, Lucinda does the lashes for the backing singers/dancers on the Justin Timberlake tour. All of this can be found on public instagram/facebook/twitter business and personal accounts.

So now that we’ve established that Lucinda35144711 IS really Lucinda Montano, wife of Steve Righ? here are some more tweets of interest:

Interesting reading. We’ll come back to that art one later.

So, this is Lucinda’s public official instagram where she posts business pics as well as some personal stuff:

As you can see she follows Jessicka and Jessicka follows her back. This is a recent occurrence. Would you follow someone if they falsely accused your husband of having an affair? Or maybe it’s true?

So here comes the fun bit. A source of mine sent me screenshots of their conversation with Lucinda on instagram which makes for very interesting reading:

The thing about Lynz and @ChantalClaret having fake accounts to spy on and bully fans is nothing new- there has been talk of this before and it has caused many to be bullied off of sites like twitter and tumblr. It’s also confirmed heavily rumoured that Lynz and Chantal were behind the exposé of @mikeyway cheating on @aliciaway in the nowaymikeyway blog (which caused many ‘family breakfast’ posts from @bobbryar). Knowing how vindictive Lynz and Chantal are, it’s not shocking. 

Now back to the art mentioned by Lucinda on Twitter and Instagram. The piece in question is Lynz’s ‘Good Witch, RAD Witch’:

Credit: Lindsey Way (http://laluzdejesus.com/jessicka-addams-lindsay-way-guests/#jp-carousel-18106) why does her official art show spell her name wrong btw? ‘Lindsay’ instead of ‘Lindsey’? Not anything to do with anything, just an observation.

Ok, so Lucinda claims that this painting is a reference to the affair Lynz and Steve had WHILE Steve was married to Lucinda. The letter is supposedly a love letter from Steve to Lynz during the affair which Lynz has kept and used as a ‘Fuck You’ to Lucinda- this is from Lucinda’s mouth as demonstrated above in the instagram messages.

Take a look at the artwork- In front of Steve’s letter is the slogan ‘ARE YOU A GOOD WITCH OR A RAD WITCH’ accompanied by a picture of what looks like a good witch/fairy godmother type character. Lynz is a lot of things but what she isn’t is stupid. Her art often reflects and borrows popular culture (like the Adventure Time treehouse some years back) as well as incorporating her real life (eg. the painting which features a Hesitant Alien era @GerardWay). It got me thinking of the name Lucinda in popular culture which is often attributed to witches or fairies.

Like in Ella Enchanted where Lucinda is the stupid fairy:

OR this where Lucinda is A GOOD WITCH:

You might think this is reaching. But as I said, Lynz is smart. I wouldn’t put it past her to not only mock Lucinda (who admits that she called Lynz a ‘cunt’ when they fell out) by using Steve’s letter to open old wounds but to make it obvious that this is personal. This is about her. Lynz is not a shitty teen, she is a shitty 40 something year old woman.

I hope this post can be spread far and wide- I want to follow in Lynz and Chantal’s footsteps and have a exposé as popular as the NOWAYMIKEYWAY post.

[drabbles-and-shit]

The Mailman is Really Attractive and Dean is Smitten

When Dean first saw the new mailman that Saturday afternoon, his body had such an immediate and visceral reaction, he had to excuse himself to his bedroom for a little quality time with his right hand.

Seriously, it was insane; nothing like that had ever happened to Dean. He only figured out that he was attracted to both guys and guys about a year ago, but he’d never even had that sort of response to a girl. And what’s worse? It was one of the best experiences he’s ever had jacking off.

Like, no shit, that mailman was the hottest human Dean ever laid eyes on, and he wasn’t even Dean’s type! Dean had always gone for the petite guys, because you know, he was a dom. Well, with guys he was. He had actually started experimenting letting girls top him, and much to his own embarrassment, he actually really liked it. There was something about someone else being in control that was hot as fuck. But, just girls. He wanted nothing in his asshole, ever, thank you very much. But anyway, even though he only ever had pursued twink-types, the mailman was buff as fuck. He had looked like he was about Dean’s height, and the summer heat-induced sweat made for a uniform that clung to his body just so Dean could see rippling muscle underneath. And the shorts, no matter how silly looking for being as short as they were, let Dean see the legs of either a runner who swims in his spare time or just the legs of an actual Adonis. And his forearms! God, so strong and tanned and--Dean noticed he was developing another situation down south and forced himself to concentrate on gross things like old people making out or his brother Sam’s face. Good, good; the situation went back down.

~***~

An uneventful week later, and Dean was back looking out his front window, shamelessly watching and waiting for the new mailman. He had no idea if he was actually going to come around again; hell, he might have just been filling in that one day for the old guy that Dean normally saw bringing the mail.

But Dean’s curiosity was rewarded, because after about ten minutes of casual spying, he noticed the mailman walking up the sidewalk with his messenger bag over one shoulder, radiating sexual appeal. God, he was just as hot as last week.

Oh my god, wait, he walked by the mailbox and towards the door. He was coming to the door. He probably had a package or something. But not the porno kind. Shit, what if he saw Dean last week? Dean jumped behind his couch as fast as humanly possible and tried to not breathe, because nobody was home. No one. Was. Home.

The doorbell rang, and Dean sucked his breath in and froze. Shit, the TV was on. He had completely forgotten it, and now the sexy mailman was going to know he was hiding like a kid afraid of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and he was going to judge him ughhhh. Suffice to say, Dean was fucking embarrassed.

He waited a solid five minutes before sneaking back to the window and checking the mailman was gone before opening his front door and grabbing the package off the step. His embarrassment was forgotten quickly, because it was his Star Trek phaser from ThinkGeek! Charlie was going to be sooooo jealous, and he couldn’t fucking wait to gloat. He snapped a picture of it and shot it off to her.

Dean: Looks like I win the gayness contest, because I can set phasers to STUN #2fab4u

Charlie: Oh my god, it came!!

Charlie: You had better bring that to work Monday so I can play with it

Dean: Only if you promise to not break it

Charlie: Btw did you see the hottie today??

Dean: Duh where did you think the package came from?

Charlie: DID YOU TALK TO HIM?!?!

Dean: You kidding? No way, Jose

Charlie: Ugh you’re no fun

Charlie: Wait. I have an idea! You should write him a letter and put it in your mailbox so he can read it when he brings your mail!!

Dean: Do you even know me? Charmando, I wouldn’t do something like that if my life depended on it

Charlie: You’re such a scaredy cat, Winchester

Dean: And proud

~***~

Drunk Dean sometimes did things that Sober Dean had to pay for, especially when his best friend/arch nemesis Charlie was involved. They always went for drinks together after work on Fridays, and somehow Dean always ended up being the only one of the two of them that did stupid, drunk person stuff. He was beginning to suspect that maybe she didn’t actually even drink, just pretended to so that she could talk his more malleable alter ego into doing what she wanted him to. Like, just a random example, writing a note to the sexy mailman.

He was going to kill her. Saturday morning met him with a skull splitting headache, and more importantly, oodles of regret. Because yes, he could vaguely remember sitting down with a pen and a piece of paper last night and writing… something. God, he couldn’t remember what the hell he had written. Maybe he had enough time to run out to the mailbox and take it out before it was too late!

Dean pulled on his sweatpants and charged out into the painfully bright midday sun. Despite his body’s many protests, he made it to the mailbox in record time, but it was for nothing, because when he opened it up, the note was gone and had been replaced by what looked like a bill and some coupons for pizza. He couldn’t really be sure, because his eyes felt like he was stabbing them full of needles. He defeatedly walked back into his house and pulled out his phone.

Dean: Dude. What happened last night. Tell me or I’m going to send your girlfriend your prom photos

He waited for a response while chewed discontentedly on a piece of cold bacon from the fridge and sipping a glass of water. He didn’t have to wait for long though, and he soon heard the telltale R2-D2 beep that was Charlie’s text alert noise.

Charlie: You were so plastered, my man. It was wild.

Charlie: I take it you only just woke up and didn’t have time to get the letter out of the box?

Dean: Shit, so that really happened? Dear god, tell me I didn’t write anything too embarrassing?

Charlie: You politely told him you wanted to suck his dick

Dean: I’ve got the picture ready to send!

Charlie: Ugh, fine. No, all you said was that you thought he looked nice and were wondering what happened to the old guy who used to bring your mail. Tbh it was pretty cute. I love drunk you

Dean sighed in relief. It was still as embarrassing as balls, but maybe the guy will think Dean has a kid or something and they wrote it. He can only hope at this point.

~***~

When Dean got home from work Monday evening and opened up the mailbox, his hopes that the mailman would just ignore the letter were proven useless.

Sitting there in the box, on top of a classic car magazine he subscribed to, was a small blue envelope with no stamp and just his first name in rather lovely script in the middle. He ripped it open before he even got inside, because holy fuck, there’s no one who would drive by his house just to put a letter in my mail other than Mr. Sexypants. It read:

Dear Dean,

I’m guessing by your handwriting and subject matter that you’re either a child or a drunk man. If it’s the former, please tell your parents that I am not a pedophile. Please. If you’re an adult and just have terrible handwriting, I’m sorry for touching on a sore subject.

Anyway, Cain, your previous mail carrier, was only working your route temporarily. He actually is one of the higher-ups for the USPS and was delivering mail as a sort of extended vacation from management. Odd, I know.

I appreciate that you think I look nice, and if you’re the adult male who lives at this address, I think you do too. If you’re a child, I’m sure you look nice, but in a non-pedophilic way.

Yours,

Castiel

Oh my god, Dean was in love. Haha, just kidding. He’s not in love; what are you talking about? Totally not in love. Nope, not at all. He lunged inside, pulled off his jacket and tie, and began furiously debating whether or not to tell Charlie about this. On the one hand, she’s his only real friend besides his younger brother, who is constantly busy with lawyer-things. But on the other hand, she would totally gloat about this for the rest of her life. But fuck it, he needs to talk to someone about this, because he never has romance in his life!

Dean: Omg you’ll never believe what happened\\

Charlie: Ooh! What??!

Dean: Mr. Double Stuffed Hotness is named Castiel, and I might want to marry him

Charlie: HE WROTE BACK?!?! It’s fate, my young grasshopper

Dean: I’m gonna send you a pic of the letter he wrote back so you can help me figure out what to write back

\

Charlie: You had better let me be your best man!! AND let me officiate!!! I’m already planning my speech

Dean: Don’t get ahead of yourself… but I’m actually kind of psyched rn

And so the planning began. Eventually, they decided on a note that read the following:

Dear Castiel,

As you deduced, I was drunk. Don’t worry, I’ll tell my parents you aren’t a pedophile anyway, just in case. Of course, they’re both in their 60s and will probably also assume I’m drunk, but better safe than sorry.

Thank you for saying I look nice, though I can’t imagine when you’ve seen me. I’m normally at work when you bring the mail (around 1:30pm, right?), so have you seen me on a Saturday? Okay, you don’t need to answer, just in case you’re actually a stalker or something. It’s never good to confront the bad guy in horror movies, and I’ve learned my lesson.

Hey, is your name really Castiel, or is that a pseudonym? I googled it, and it’s the name of the Angel of Thursday? What’s so special about Thursdays?

Live long and prosper,

Dean

~***~

Dear Dean,

I’m very glad I won’t be going to jail for calling a child attractive. You can probably hear my sigh of relief from there.

I can neither confirm nor deny when/where I have seen you. Also, are you calling me the antagonist of a horror film? If so, please enlighten me on which one, because I’m rather a fan of being scared shitless, and I’m sure seeing myself as the murderer will make an horror viewing experience even more terrifying.

And yes, my name is really Castiel. Let’s just say my parents were hippies. Many people call me Cas, though, and my siblings call me Cassie. I don’t like my siblings very much.

What about you? Why are you named Dean? Did your parents hope you would create a list of exceptional people? Or perhaps they wanted you to grown up to resemble Dean Martin?

I’m sorry, I don’t know where all that rude sass came from; it’s been a long day.

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,

Cas

~***~

Mr. Spock,

I had a girlfriend named Cassie once! Sort that information away for a future test, I suppose. How many siblings do you have? I one brother, and he can be such a bitch sometimes, so I definitely get where you’re coming from.

As it happens, I’m named after my grandmother, Deanna. And I swear to god, if you make fun of me for that, I will, um, do something… I don’t know exactly what yet, but I’ll figure it out, and it’ll be awful, I promise!

So, is it really that hard being a mailman? (You said it had been a rough day.) I’m a mechanic, by the way. If you ever need to know anything about cars, just hit me up, and I’ll be happy to help. For a price… Ha, just kidding. Maybe…

Dammit Cas, I’m a mechanic, not a doctor!

Dean

~***~

Bones,

I find it slightly perturbing that my nickname is also the name of your ex. But I always ace tests, so I guess I’m glad to know it anyway.

I have 5 siblings. I know. Hippies don’t believe in birth control, I guess. But yes, family of 8, from Michael the oldest, down to Sam the youngest. Since I’m on the subject, I suppose I might as well list off all my siblings. There’s Mike, Gabe, Luce, me, Anna, and Sam, ranging in ages from 37 to 21. Oh, I’m the ripe old age of 29, by the way. Not that that matters. Jesus, this entire letter is me talking about my family, sorry.

And no, it’s not hard being a mailman, but it is hard having to take your beloved cat to the veterinarian because they’re refusing to eat, not having bowel movements, and rolling around on the floor, meowing in pain. The poor guy had a blockage and almost died. It was a tough day.

I might just take you up on your offer to help explain things about cars, because I am completely clueless about them. I drive an old clunker that eats gas money like nobody’s business, and I really need to get a new car as soon as possible.

Have you been at the Romulan ale again??

Cas

~***~

Castiel,

I know I signed my last note with a Bones reference, but make no mistake, I am 100% Kirk, and I would appreciate it if you referred to me as such. Thank you for not forcing me to pursue legal action.

Dude, my younger brother is named Sam! Well, technically he’s named Samuel, after our grandfather, but still. Weird. And I’m 32, so that’s cool I guess.

I’m sorry to hear about your cat; that sounds pretty awful. I’ve never really had pets, and I’m actually allergic to cats, but I remember when Sammy’s dog was hit by a car and how distraught he was. I’m guessing your cat is all right now, though? If so, I’m glad. If not, sorry for rubbing salt in the wound.

Dude, do not drive that car. Like, stop it now. Please, for the sake of car lovers everywhere. Take it down to Singer’s Auto Salvage Yard; Bobby is a friend of mine, and if you tell him I sent you, he’ll give you a good price for it, and then you can use that money to buy something that’s not a piece of shit.

*funny Star Trek reference here*

Captain James Tiberius Kirk

~***~

Jim,

Can you sense me rolling my eyes? Because there’s some serious ocular oscillation going on right now in reference to your threats.

And I shortened my Sam’s name, too. His full name is Samandriel. Hippies, am I right?

Yes, my cat is fine, thank Talos. He is my best friend, and I don’t think I would be able to function properly if something happened to him. He’s a black shorthair named Toothless, by the way. Yes, I’m a basic bitch. Bite me.

I’ll try and take your advice about the car. I think my car is actually the automobile form of Sauron’s ring of power, because every time I’ve tried to get rid of it, it talks me into keeping it. I know in my heart that it needs to be torn apart for scraps, that it is taking advantage of me and should be destroyed before it does something terrible, but it’s mine. My own. My...precious…

Oh, my biggest problem is that if I sell her, I don’t know anything about buying cars, so I’m afraid someone will take advantage of my naivete and sell me an equally shitty car for a ridiculous price. Any suggestions?

*I can do this too*

Spock Spock Spock-ity Spock

~***~

Spockity,

God, I wish my parents had been hippies. Instead they were hippos. Yep, I was adopted by a pair of hippopotami at the age of four. Don’t believe me? Ask the Topeka Zoo, and they’ll corroborate my story. (Please don’t actually do that; they might remember me from when I was a teenager and broke in there to try and pet the giraffes.)

And I will never judge anyone for loving How To Train Your Dragon, because that movie was legendary. Toothless is the cutest dragon probably ever, and Hiccup is such a dreamboat.

Um, we definitely need to get rid of that car. Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks! I’m trying to help you. And speaking of helping you, if you find a car and want to know just how swindled you’re going to be, just send me the information, and I can let you know if you should buy it or not!

So… what kind of music do you like? I’m a big classic rock fan, and if you aren’t I will become determined to change that about you.

Can we up switch references? Maybe Princess Bride or something?

Princess Buttercup

~***~

Buttercup,

I find your story inconceivable. But did you truly grow up in Kansas? Personally, I grew up in the wilds of Washington; Seattle, actually.

And good; I would be very upset with you if you didn’t love Toothless and Hiccup, though I must say Hiccup is not exactly my type. I like my men a little older than he (recall that I’m not a pedophile), and I think any man I may date should definitely be my size or larger, or else I might kill them accidentally in bed. Huh, I guess we haven’t really talked about sexuality ever, so sorry if that made you uncomfortable.

I would greatly appreciate it if you would actually send me your phone number or email or something, so I could send you the information on a car I’m seriously considering buying. If you’d rather not hand out such personal information, I completely understand though.

I confess I haven’t listened to much classic rock. I mostly listen to classical music, though I’ve been delving into the genre of lofi hiphop, and I actually really enjoy it.

As you wish,

Vizzini

~***~

Vizzini,

You keep using that word; I do not think it means what you think it means…

Yes, I grew up in Kansas, a little town called Lawrence to be precise. And the bit about breaking into the zoo was real too, so please don’t report me.

And honestly, I’m kind of in a weird experimental stage with my sexuality right now. I know, that’s supposed to happen during college, but maybe I’m just not a normal guy, all right? Anyway, I think I’ve officially decided I’m bisexual, but who knows? Romance is tiring, but sex is fun, and I don’t really mind who the hole belongs to. Jesus, that sounded awful and disgusting; sorry. I’m not even really like that any more. I haven’t had a hookup for like three months, which has got to be some kind of record. Sorry, this I should stop writing while I have the chance.

Totally send me the deets about the car, man. My number is 1-866-907-3235

Dude, I’m going to indoctrinate you. You fucking need to listen to classic rock; it’s the stuff of gods. Maybe I’ll make you a mixtape or something so you can listen to all the best songs. Weird question: do you have a tape player? I’m kind of old fashioned, so yeah, I’m going to make you a cassette tape with my favorite Zepp tracks on it.

Mahwage, dah bwessed awangment,

The Dread Pirate Roberts

~***~

For some reason, it was taking Cas a long time to get back to Dean. They had kind of worked out an unspoken schedule by this point; one of them put a letter in the box Monday, the other responded by Wednesday, and then the first sent back a response the Friday of the same week. Basically three letter a week for the past month or so. No, that’s not weird or creepy for two adult men to do at all.

Dean had dropped off that last letter on a Monday, but no reply came on Wednesday. He tried to not let it bother him, thinking Cas was probably busy or something. But then there wasn’t a reply Thursday or Friday either, and he started to get a little miffed. The least Cas could have done was to text him now that he had his number, but noooo. Unfortunately, Dean had to be out of town that Saturday, so no confrontation could happen over the 1:30 mail delivery.

The next Saturday rolled around with no word from Cas again, and Dean was starting to get legitimately worried. He would have understood if the guy took some time off maybe for being sick or something, but two weeks? Nobody takes two weeks off, especially without telling their… friend? Suddenly, Dean’s ridiculous number of insecurities started blaring at him. What if he and Cas weren’t friends? What if he didn’t actually mean anything to Cas at all? He probably was just another drain on Cas’ time, and Cas had finally decided he’d had enough and didn’t want to talk to Dean anymore. Hell, he might have requested a different route because Dean was harassing him. Shit, of course all this was too good to be true. Dean never made friends; Charlie was the only acception to that painful trend, and he had no idea why she still hung out with him.

Dean knew those thoughts too well; he knew his own self-loathing always came around and wouldn’t leave until he started thinking about other things. So, he thought about Cas. It was almost 1:30, two weeks since he’d heard from him last, and he decided to camp out at the mailbox and wait for whoever came. He had to know if Cas was all right, at least. The guy was his friend, even if maybe Cas didn’t see him as one.

He didn’t have long to wait before seeing his old mailman (Cain, was it?) peddling a sleek bicycle down the sidewalk with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

“Um, hey, sorry to bother you. Cain, is it?” Dean fidgeted, feeling awkward as fuck.

“Yes, that’s me. Can I help you with something?” Huh, okay, Cain seemed like a pretty chill guy. Maybe Dean could actually avoid a panic attack from doing something this wild.

“Uh, yeah. Do you know Castiel? He brought mail on this route for a while? I just haven’t seen him in a while, and I was worried that something happened.” Dean was talking too fast, but he couldn’t help it, okay?

“I know Castiel, and I know he took off a few weeks. Don’t know why though; maybe a vacation or something. I wouldn’t worry about it though, if I were you.”

Oh Dean was gonna worry about it, no doubt about that. Because wow, he was glad Cas was all right and not dead somewhere, but Jesus, what kind of douchebag friend goes on an extended vacation without so much as a goodbye?? So yeah, Dean was going to worry about what he did wrong and why he never could keep friends, and why he was such a fucked up excuse for a human being. Awesome.

~***~

Dean was depressed. Charlie tried cheering him up but to no avail. He was just depressed. He actually took the day off on Monday, because he was such a fucking sissy who couldn’t deal with anything. God, no wonder Cas didn’t care about him. No one should care about him; he was so pathetic.

The doorbell rang. Dean lifted his head from the pillow it had been buried in for the entire first half of the day and decided he probably ought to answer the door, seeing as there was a 98% chance it was Charlie with pie and beer and a chick flick to make him feel better. God, she was too good for him; he didn’t deserve such a good friend.

He pulled the door open and was greeted by the invisible man; wait no, there was a package and a pile of mail on the front step. He sighed and picked it all up, then promptly dropped it all on the floor, shut the door, and collapsed on the couch. He didn’t feel like looking at the mail. He didn’t feel like doing anything except for sleeping. Ugh.

But maybe that package would cheer him up. He rolled his eyes at the tiny optimistic voice in his head and then rolled right off the couch and crawled to the pile of mail. He grabbed package without so much as glancing over the letters, probably all bills, and violently tore it open. Ooh, it was those custom leather-bound journals he ordered off Etsy. One was embroidered with his Hogwarts House logo (Hufflepuff and proud!) and the other matched it but had Charlie’s House (Ravenclaw, more like Raven...dumb! Good one). One of the few things he was ashamed of about being a sissy was doing things like buying matching things for himself and his best friend, or having sleepovers with his best friend, or planning his future wedding with his best friend. ANYway.

Okay, cool, the opening the package plan had worked! Dean was feeling better already. But then he saw it. Underneath the topmost bill was a little blue envelope. Dean’s hand had never moved so fast (yes, never).

Sure enough, it was from Cas. But unlike all the other letters Dean had gotten from him, this one was stamped and had both mailing and return addresses on it. Without stopping to think about what the fuck that could possibly mean, Dean ripped open the letter and read:

Dear Dean,

I am so sorry I haven’t written you in so long. To put it succinctly, my father had a heart attack, and I had to go to to Washington to be with him. The past two weeks have been about family and rekindling our relationships with each other. My father passed away two nights ago, and the funeral was yesterday. I know we never really talk about serious things, but I hope you won’t mind if I tell you this.

Honestly, as heartbroken as I am to see my father pass, I’m grateful that it has brought my family back together. All of us were there with him at the end, all of us were gathered around his bedside as he breathed his last. And he went peacefully, so I’m also grateful for that. I’ll be staying up here for another few days before flying back, and then I’ll be back to work as normal. I put my address that I’m staying at while I’m in Seattle as the return address, but I’ll add my home address too at the bottom of the page; it only feels fair that since I know where you live, you should know where I do too.

Again, I’m sorry if I made you worry at all. I know you might not see me the same way, but you’ve actually become one of my closest friends over the past month. What that says about my personal life? That I’m very awkward and antisocial, that’s what it says.

I hope to talk to you soon,

Castiel

Thank the fucking lord. Dean let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and grabbed his phone.

Dean: Cas is okay!! His dad died but he’ll be back soon

Charlie: Wait, his dad died, but he’ll be back soon? Who is he, god? I mean, Jesus. Whatever, I’m not required to make good religious jokes

Dean: Haha, very funny

Charlie: But yay!! I’m so glad for you!! Maybe now you’ll stop sulking like a little lost puppy

Dean: I make no promises

~***~

As promised, Cas was back by the end of the week, and Dean couldn’t stop grinning when he looked out his window Saturday to see Cas walking up to his mailbox.

He pulled the door open and ran out, unprecedented behavior from the man afraid to make eye contact with girl scouts selling cookies outside the front of the grocery store.

“Cas! It’s good to see you, man!” He went in for a hug, but then it got a little too real, so it ended up being one of those awkward side-hugs that no one really likes but everyone has to deal with.

Cas smiled back widely, and Dean got a little lost in his eyes. Wow, he’d never actually seen Cas up close, and now that he did, he could tell that Cas was actually the most attractive man alive. His ocean blue eyes drew Dean in, and he found himself completely phasing out to the point that Cas had to repeat a question three times before he could respond.

“Sorry, um, what was that?” Was the response. Classic.

“I asked if you were all right; you look a little phased.” No shit, Sherlock.

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“I was a little worried I’d scared you off with my last letter, seeing as how you didn’t write back.” Shit, Dean had forgotten to.

“Fuck, I totally forgot that I had your address. I guess I’m not used to actually properly sending letters, not just putting them in the mailbox.” They shared a quiet laugh before Dean went on, somberly. “I’m really sorry about your dad. My mom passed a few years back, and I know how painful it is.”

Cas smiles sadly. “Yeah, it was rough, but like I said in the letter, it really brought my family together, and I’m sure dad would have been happy to see the impact he had on us.” He paused, and Dean could there was something more rolling around in his mind, so he decided to stay silent and let Cas finish his thought. “It’s funny, he was such an absent father when we were growing up. I know he was different when he and my mom were first married; I think he was a carpenter or something, and he was always at home with Mike and Luce when they were little. But then his business took off, and by the time I was in diapers, he was hardly ever around. Business trips, late nights working, early morning meetings, it never ended. It kind of tore our family apart, bit by bit. First, Gabe ran away when he was 16. He didn’t get in touch with any of us for almost a whole year. Later, he told me he just couldn’t stand to see all the arguing and pain in our family. Then it was Luce, angrily storming off to college and refusing to answer our calls or emails. He loved all of us, his siblings so much, and I think watching dad’s absence affect us younger kids really took a toll on him.”

Suddenly, Cas’ eyes flashed up, and his cheeks grew pink. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’ve just been standing here, telling you my life’s story. And fuck, I’m on the clock; I really need to run.”

Before Cas could move, Dean grabbed his wrist. “Wait, can you give me your phone number? I put mine in my last letter to you, but I’m guessing you didn’t get that.”

They exchanged numbers as quickly as possible, and Cas ran off towards the next house on his route. Dean grinned as he watched his run away and immediately send him a trial-run text.

Dean: If you gave me a fake number, I’m going to go to your house and shave your cat

Off in the distance (only about 200 feet, to be perfectly honest), Cas stopped and looked down at his phone, and Dean could not hold back a huge laugh.

Castiel: Toothless would kill your sorry ass

~***~

Regina George,

Oh my god, you’re so fetch.

Sorry Cas, I don’t know why, but I really felt like I had to change our theme to Mean Girls. Sue me. (Also, you better have fucking watched Mean Girls, or there will be hell to pay.)

So, my friend Charlie talked me into this, but I guess I kind of agreed with her that I ought to do it. And you can totally say no thanks, not interested, and it’ll be completely fine! But, I was wondering if maybe you’d be interesting in going on a date with me sometime…?

Wow, I am a child. Well, a teenage girl, to be precise. Oh shit, and you keep telling me you’re not a pedophile, so you’re definitely not going to want to go out with me now that you know my true identity. Well this is a fine mess I’ve gotten myself into.

Have you sold that car yet? You should really get on that.

Yours forever,

Amy Poehler

~***~

Mother,

Of course I’ve seen Mean Girls, I’m not that out of the proverbial loop.

And would you please thank your friend Charlie for me? I’ll admit, I’ve wanted to go on a date with you for a quite a while now, but ye ole’ social ineptitude wouldn’t let me ask. Maybe text me when you get this, and we can work out a time/place? Saturday nights are usually best for me, considering I’m always off Sundays.

Please Dean, if you’re a teenage girl, then I am too, and then it’s not pedophilia.

And no, I haven’t sold it yet, because I haven’t decided on a new one to buy yet, because in case you hadn’t noticed, my life has been a little hectic lately. I’ll try and text you the details on the car I’m looking at soon, though.

Fours yorever,

Reginers

~***~

Saturday night is there before Dean can get his shit together. He had frantically texted Charlie minutes after making the date with Cas asking her what he should wear and how he should act and whether he should just run away and never come back. You know, normal stuff.

In the end, he and Cas had decided on meeting an a small burger place near Cas’ place, so Dean knew he shouldn’t wear something too fancy. But he didn’t want to wear just his every minute of every day bluejeans, t-shirt, and flannel combo. So, with some sagely advice from Charlie, he’s decided on his most flattering pair of grey jeans and a button down maroon shirt, freshly ironed. Honestly, not half bad, even by his self-degrading standards. He toyed with the idea of a grey tie with the top two buttons of his collar undone, and decided it was too snazzy for him to refuse.

A 15-minute drive later, he was walking into the restaurant and looking around for Cas. And boy, did he find him. Cas was wearing a tight pair of black jeans, an Egyptian blue button down, and a black waistcoat, and holy fuck, Dean was having another southward situation just at the sight. He repeated the words ‘puss, flesh, old-people skin,’ in his head for half a minute until everything was hunky dory again, then made his way to the bar where Cas was standing.

“You look great, Cas.” Dean grinned when he saw Cas blatantly checking his ass. The good old grey jeans never fail.

“As do you, Dean,” Cas responded, his pupils mildly larger than probably normal.

They made their way over to a small corner booth and waived down a waitress. Adorably enough, they both ordered the same bacon cheeseburger, and in the time it took for their food to arrive, they discussed possible future heart health and how they were both going to die eventually, so it might as well be from eating delicious food.

“Dude, if bacon’s what gets me, I win,” Dean remarked right before taking a huge bite into his burger.

Cas harrumphed in agreement, then moaned around the first bite of his own burger.

Uh oh. Turned out, visual Cas is nothing compared to audible Cas in terms of making Dean’s nether regions all kinds of interested. To put it simply, Dean was sitting at a booth, on a first date, a burger in his mouth, almost completely hard. Awesome.

“Dean, are you okay?” Shit, Cas apparently noticed the panicked look on Dean’s face, and Dean’s face burned red.

“Um, yeah, I’m fine. I, um, just kinda have a little… situation. Downstairs. God this is so embarrassing; I’m soooooo, so sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

Cas was quiet for a second, then burst out with infectious laughter, and Dean couldn’t help but join in. “Oh my god, that’s hilarious. Was it become of the groan I just made or…?”

Dean ran a hand through his hair before responding, “Um, yeah. Fuck. Look, I haven’t gotten

laid in close to three months, so cut me a little slack. And honestly, I’m really sorry. I wanted this

to be a really special first date, but I feel like I kind of ruined it.” Like Dean ruined everything.

“Oh, no no no! Really, I understand much better than you’d think,” Cas assuaged his fear and sorrow with a comforting pat on the back on the hand. “It’s honestly fine. Now, do you need to go to take a trip to the bathroom, or are you all right now?”

Dean informed Cas that apparently humiliation was not one of his kinks, and the situation had resolved itself, and they were able to go on with their dinner like it had never happened.

But you know, it did happen, and Dean hadn’t had sex in months, and Cas was the hottest date Dean had ever had. SO yeah. Things happen.

~***~

After an amazing evening of burgers, pie, beer, and literal hours of conversation, they decided it was definitely time for them to part ways. Cas had walked to the restaurant, so Dean offered to drop him off on his way home, and Cas gratefully accepted.

The car ride was normal, if slightly tense. They were both slightly buzzed and totally attracted to each other, after all. But it was chill.

Dean pulled up to Cas’ home, a cozy-looking apartment complex, and parked his car in one of the visitor spots. They both climbed out and walked together up to Cas’ door.

“So, I had an awesome time tonight,” Dean half-mumbled, really trying his best to appear like he wasn’t desperate to go out with Cas again as soon as possible. “You think you might want to do this again sometime? I mean, really, I totally get it if like I’m not your type or you’re just not into me or you think I’m too--”

Cas slammed their faces (particularly their lips) together, effectively cutting off Dean’s self-abusive train of thought and filling his mind with only the pure bliss of Cas’ warm mouth on his, their tongues fighting for dominance. Cas’ mouth tasted amazing, like apple pie and happiness. Dean hungrily chased the flavour, and he couldn’t get enough. They broke for air for just a minute before Cas wheeled Dean around and up against his apartment door, weaving one hand into his hair and grabbing Dean’s own hand with the other, pinning it up against the door above his head.

Dean had never felt less in control, and it was amazing. He could feel the strength in Cas’ body shoved up against his own. He felt vulnerable, but for once in his life, he was okay with that vulnerability.

Cas moved his mouth down from Dean’s mouth to his neck, peppering the skin with hot, wet kisses. He settled on one spot, the meaty place between Dean’s neck and right shoulder and assaulted it with licks, kisses, nibbles, and sucks. He was driving Dean crazy, and Dean honestly couldn’t stop himself from moaning out, “Uhhhh, Cas…”

Maybe it was something about how he broke the silence, but Cas suddenly stilled and looked up at Dean, alarm filling his eyes. “Oh my god, Dean, I’m sorry. I’ve never done this before; I don’t know what came over me.” He stepped back from Dean and rubbed his hands over his face.

“What? Why’d you stop?” Dean replied, feeling suddenly abandoned.

Cas locked eyes with Dean and said very seriously, “I have no idea what I’m doing, Dean. I’ve never had sex; hell, I’ve never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a week. And you’re this amazing, attractive man who has had so much sex and knows all about it, and I’m just going to embarrass myself and it’ll be terrible and--”

This time, Dean satisfies the cliche, cutting off Cas’ river of doubts with a kiss into which he poured all the words he wanted to say but didn’t know how: that Cas made him feel safe and comfortable and like he could be himself and still feel appreciated and cared for and special and important.

Cas seemed to get the message, and he quickly took control once again, holding Dean tight in his arms and kissing him with more passion than is in an entire episode of Casa Erotica.

Dean had been hard for a while now, and as Cas clung to him, he could feel that Cas was in about the same spot as he was. But shit, if Cas was a virgin, that would put a lot of weight on Dean’s shoulders, right? He wanted to make it perfect for Cas, because that’s what Cas deserved.

But apparently, Cas had a completely different idea. He pulled away from Dean, and with his pupils completely blown wide and dark, moved his mouth to Dean’s ear and whispered, “I’m going to make you feel so good.”

Huh, well, Dean realized at that moment he was completely, 100%, no doubt about it, a bottom. And apparently, Cas’ self-confidence boosted itself threefold when he was horny, so yeah. That was pretty sweet.

Cas fumbled with his apartment keys and opened the front door before pushing Dean inside and slamming the door behind them. He kiss-walked (that thing where people are joined at the mouth but still manage to move around, that’s honestly kind of impressive if you think about it) Dean to what Dean assumed could only be his bedroom and shoved him onto the bed before climbing on top of waist and resuming kissing him like a man dying of dehydration and Dean’s mouth was a fucking water fountain.

Without breaking their lip lock, Cas scrambled to get Dean’s tie off, and Dean did his best to help with the clothing removal process, but his efforts were mostly futile.

Finally, after a  pathetically long and unromantic struggle, they were both naked, and Dean was basically drooling at the sight of Cas’ dick. Like, holy hell, it’s not like Dean himself was small, but Jesus, he was embarrassed of his own length in the presence of Cas’ massiveness.

Cas grinned with a hungry look in his eye as he took Dean in, and Dean felt suddenly self conscious as Cas scanned him so carefully.

Cas noticed the change in Dean’s demeanor and guessed the source quickly. “Dean, you are so beautiful,” his husky voice reassured before leaning in and capturing Dean’s lips once again, this time with a contrastingly gentle and loving kiss, and for once in his life, Dean let himself actually believe that about himself.

The kiss soon got more heated, and Cas’ hands began exploring Dean’s body, starting in his hair, traveling down his chest, over his hips, and down his thighs. Dean moaned and realized that, much to his embarrassment, he was actually close.

Fortunately, Cas seemed to sense he should advance things, and he trailed his hands back up to Dean’s throbbing cock. Dean let out a punched groan at the first touch to his hot member, squeezed his eyes shut tight, and clenched his fists behind Cas’ back. “So good, Cas…”

Cas’ hand left his cock for a minute, and Dean heard the telltale sounds of someone spitting before the hand returned, slick and tight. Just a couple tugs and Dean was coming with a shout. “Oh, Cas, oh fuck, Cas!”

He had never come so quickly in his entire life, but Dean couldn’t even find it in himself to be ashamed, especially as he heard Cas grunting as he followed directly behind him.

“Cas, that was…”

A sudden worried look fell over Cas’ face. “Was it bad? I’m sorry, I know we both came really fast.”

Dean laughed and tried his best kiss the pouting look off of Cas. “No, it was amazing, Cas. Jesus, that was the most vanilla shit I’ve ever done, but it was perfect.” Dean sighed and steeled himself before continuing. “And actually, I think the reason it was perfect was because, well, it was with you, Cas.”

~***~

“Honeybee, I’m home!” Dean stripped off his big winter coat and hung it on the hook by the front door.

“I’m in the kitchen, Dean!” Dean stalked through the house and up behind his husband, snaking his arms around the other man’s broad chest and leaning over his shoulder to give him a peck on the cheek.

“How was work today?” Dean asked, glancing around the kitchen and noticing with a grin what looked suspiciously like the mess left after someone has baked an apple pie.

“Work was lovely, thank you. Of course, that was mostly because of the letter I got from my favorite stop on my favorite route.” Cas grinned and spun around to give Dean a proper kiss.

“I’m your favorite?!” Dean grinned and pulled back before Cas could kiss him

Cas rolled his eyes, “No, I’m talking about our neighbor, Mrs. Tran.”

“I love you too, babe.” Dean finally let himself be pulled into his husband’s eager arms and smiled into the kiss. Fate was kind of awesome.  

[mizunocaitlin]

A Synopsis of Le Mouvment Final, the Sailor Stars musical

Here is my mostly comprehensive synopsis of Le Mouvement Final, the final Sailor Moon revival musical that opened in Tokyo on September 8th, 2017. This synopsis is full of spoilers. And pictures. You have been warned. 

Also, I apologize for errors and omissions. I took notes for this one, but it’s a tad hard to take comprehensive notes in the dark. 

The musical opens at the airport where Usagi is seeing off Mamoru. He's gotten into Harvard and they're both quite sad about being separated, but Usagi wants him to see his dream through. Mamoru presents Usagi with a ring, but holds back actually proposing marriage. [Overture ~Prologue~]

Around the same time, the Three Lights arrive at the airport from presumably an overseas concert. Lots of fans to dodge! Usagi has no idea who they are and what all the hoopla is about. Walking by, Seiya and the gang sense the “Star Light” coming off of Usagi and Mamoru, but Yaten doesn't want to get involved. They are on a mission. Suddenly, the baddies show and Mamoru is taken/killed right in front of Usagi, who doesn't have time to transform or anything. He never even gets on the plane. No ambiguity. He's dead. She's frozen in terror. The Three Lights come to her aid and she collapses in their arms.

Usagi recovers physically, but she’s not all there mentally. Chibi Chibi makes her first appearance and serves as a distraction! Usagi pretends nothing happened and sees this stray child and decides to help her. Brings her to the authorities, I think. 

...and cut to the Music Festival. I missed some dialogue so I'm not sure if it was supposed to be a student/school music festival or a general music festival, but the first act we see is the Sailor Band. Just like in the previous musicals, the inner senshi are a band. Usagi is late so they go on without her.  They sing [Otome no Michi] and their performance clothes are so manga-like! Jeans jackets! Lace shawls! Minako's keytar made me laugh.

The act that follows the Sailor Band is a duet: Haruka on paino, Michiru on violin. Though we don't get to see the duet, one of the other senshi comments that the piece they perform is written by Haruka for Michiru. Haruka and Michiru are really THE couple of this musical. Japanese Twitter identified the dress on Michiru, btw. It’s available online. 

Instead of seeing the Haruka/Michiru performance, we watch back stage as the inners chastise Usagi for being late. She says she'd gone to the airport to see Mamoru off. She's already PTSD forgot about his death. It was that traumatic. The girls gush about how the Thee Lights are performing at the same music festival they are. Amazing! And here they are now! The girls spend some stage time fawning over how perfect the boys of Three Lights are. The inners all in the fan club, too! Each of the inner senshi proudly recites her fan club membership number. Naturally, the punchline of this joke is Ami. Everyone else's fan club number is in the hundreds or thousands. Ami's is #7.

Usagi still has no idea who this boy band is, and begins listing off good qualities in a man, but comments at each one that Mamoru is better than these cheesy boy band guys. Seiya, who remembers that Mamoru was killed in the airport, instantly feels terrible for Usagi. He wants to correct her and comfort her, but when he tries everyone accuses him of being sweet on Usagi.

We see the Three Lights perform next. They're so cool! But, their song [Wandering Stars] is full of novelty English. A little too much for me, personally. We see Haruka and Michiru come off stage after their performance and meet the Lights. I believe at this point is when Haruka shakes hands very pissing contest style with Seiya and everybody sense everybody else's magic powers.

At the end of the Three Lights song, the power cuts out and Iron Mouse appears. Before she can really get an attack in on the Thee Lights, Sailor Moon is on the scene. She whips out a powerful attack that knocks down Iron Mouse. I believe this battle song is [Sky of Jewels]. Quickly pretty much all the senshi show up to join Sailor Moon in the fight with Iron Mouse and she's forced to retreat. The youma costumes in this musical aren't nearly as cool as before. All black and gold. Meh. In the battle, the Three Lights are outed as senshi to pretty much everyone. The outers are concerned. The inners are super stoked their favorite boyband is just like them.

Then, we see Galaxia and get her intro song, [Dictator of Densetsu/Dictator of Legend]. Very rock opera. There's a ton of English in it. She sings her motivations and plans for taking over world domination. Pretty badass, really. Her costume glitters beautifully on stage. Galaxia is pissed that Iron Mouse took the initiative to attack, but didn't get any Star Seeds/Sailor Crystals. Iron Mouse pleads that there were more senshi than she expected. She gets punished by Galaxia for her failure.

After Galaxia's intro, we see the Animates talking among themselves. Tin Nyanko defends Iron Mouse and says they should stick together because they're friends. They should support poor chastised Iron Mouse! But Lead Crow and Aluminum Siren say, fuck no. We are not friends. We're henchmen in Galaxia's army. Fuck off. Iron Mouse leans on Tin Nyanko for comfort and says she's hungry, let's go get something to eat. So, two couples in the Animates and they want nothing to do with each other.

We cut to the Three Lights in school uniforms on the roof of Azabu Jyuban High School, where they've just enrolled. They lament to each other how they've been on this planet a whole month-ish and they still haven't found Kakyuu. They wonder aloud if it's because their singing isn't good enough. They accuse each other of being off key and then sort of test their pitch against each other, mocking each other's failures. Singing is very much the sign of power on Kinmoku.

Usagi ends up on the roof, too, writing a letter to Mamoru – Even though she's had no contact from him since she thinks he left for Harvard. Even though the Three Lights are aliens, they still dis her shitty grammar and kanji. Seiya tries again to spill the beans, but Setsuna, who appears to be the school nurse, finds Usagi with the Lights and intervenes. When she touches Seiya, she feels his power first hand and tells him to stay away from Usagi. Then, Setsuna freaks out because OMG she touched the hot lead singer of the coolest boyband ever. Kya!

That afternoon, they hold a meeting at I believe Rei's place, to discuss these Three Lights and the new threat. Chibi Chibi just shows up to the meeting like it ain't no thing. She sings an adorable song [CHIBI CHIBI] that reminds me of the Kewpie dance and everyone guesses she must be a new, mysterious relative of Usagi's. Another child or a grand child or something, maybe? And they just let her stay.

The meeting commenses. Setsuna has drawn up chibi faces of the Three Lights on a white board as a visual aid for the meeting. They talk about what the Lights have been up to since transfering to the senshis' school. Seiya is on the baskeball team and is naturally the best player. We see Seiya in a ridiculously poorly fitting basketball jersey playing around with a ball. Taiki has scored better than even Ami on that one test. Yaten is such a sassy gay that he called out Michiru on her make-up choices, which pissed off both her and Haruka. Like, literally. He called her out on her makeup. What the hell, Yaten?

The senshi speculate that they must have arrived in the meteor shower that happened last month. And, Setsuna further speculates that since she and Haruka both felt spiritual energy from them, that all three must be senshi.... Which means they can transform... Which means that they must put on sailor collars and short skirts and Setsuna starts to draw sailor fuku on the chibis she's sketched of the Three Lights on her white board and EVERYBODY FREAKS THE FUCK OUT. Partly at the idea of boy band guys in short skirts. Partly, seemly, at the idea that they might not be boys at all. Which, that part is a tad disappointing.

After the meeting, Chibi Chibi wanders off and Usagi bumps into Seiya looking for her in a nearby park. Since they both already know each other are senshi, Seiya takes this opportunity to sing [Wandering Stars Ballad Version] about what the Starlights are doing on earth. He gets just emo enough to release some of his spiritual power, which lures the baddies to the scene. Senshi and baddies convene on the spot and transform/arrive to the song [Sailor Make Up!].

In the battle, Siren an Crow sing about their back story in [Crow to Siren]. They kinda sorta were senshi, you see, but their worlds were not well off and relatively peaceful like Earth. Shit was bad, and they're with Galaxia now. Sailor Moon manages to get Iron Mouse and Tin Nyanko in a Gorgeous Mediation attack, healing them from the brainwashing and breaking their power bracelets. Mouse and Nyanko say even more about Galaxia and her insane slaughter across the galaxy. Before they get too far, however, Siren and Crow kill them for betraying Galaxia and reclaim their Sailor Crystals/Star Seeds.

This freaks Sailor Moon right the fuck out. Seing senshi-on-senshi violence and watching two people die in front of her, triggers her PTSD and she's basically frozen in trauma until we hear the snap snap snap. The Sailor Starlights appear! By now we've got basically all the senshi and all the baddies on stage, Galaxia included. Galaxia kinda mocks Sailor Moon and the senshi for being overly attached to their mortal, human bodies. We are so much more than that! I believe she then kills Mercury and Jupiter.

A sweet aside, Neptune laments that they're at war again and she's so tired of war. But Uranus says it doesn't matter, because they can face anything if they're together. Aw.

After the battle, we see Chibi Chibi walk on stage in the darkness. She starts to speak about Galaxia and the battle, then her speech is taken over by Sailor Cosmos who appears behind her.

Seiya is back in human form again, and shooting hoops to let off some steam. Haruka shows up to basically beat him up just because. Stay the fuck away from Usagi, bitch! She's ours! And Seiya once again has to be all, there's just something she needs to know. Something I have to tell her. Seiya relly gives off the vibe that he relates to Usagi's loss on a deep, traumatic level. He seems to correlate the trauma of him losing Kakyuu to the trauma of Usagi loosing Mamoru. Haruka's like ok fine you can talk to Usagi about whatever... BUT ONLY FOR 5 MINUTES I'M WATCHING YOU PUNK.

At some point here they sing [Scent of War].

The outers have a moment where they lament maybe putting up a shield around the solar system. Fucking, outers, man. WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT BEFORE ASSHOLES????

Everyone is freaking out about the new enemy. Usagi has a PTSD flashback about Mamoru's death but still can't quite accept it. Mars reads the Tarot and turns up a Death card, says this fight is different from all the rest. Minako complains that she just wants to be a normal teen for once and get a boyfriend. Yaten comment that this is foolish. They've all pledged their lives and their very souls to their princess. Romantic entanglements are for people without a mission. Minako quickly agrees.

Usagi sings [My Only Love], lamenting how much she treasures Mamoru and misses him and needs him. Seiya joins in her song, sort of realizing that his sympathy for Usagi is sort of turning into a crush on Usagi. Oops. Chibi Chibi sort of pushes the two together and Usagi finally fully remembers Mamoru's death. Seiya explains to Usagi more about Galaxia and this massive, universe wide war they're in.

But Usagi gets no rest. Galaxia ambushes them and kills Mars and Venus, again right in front of her. Galaxia says she's doing this whole murdering your loved ones in front of you thing on purpose, too. She says the anger and fear will rev up Sailor Moon's power and make her more ripe for the picking. Ugh. Asshole.

The Lights show up and Seiya wants to intervene, but Yaten pulls a Switzerland and rants that this is not their fight. The outers show up, though, and yell at them for this bullshit. They school the Lights all about how awesome Usagi is. She's so kind and gently and compassionate and everyone who meets her loves her and didn't you just sense her virtue standing next to her??? Aw, outers, I didn't know you cared so much!

This battle features Neptune and Siren so we get to see two water users battle it out. They “flood” the battle area. Pretty awesome, really. Siren is not nearly the ditz she was in the anime. They really go at it. When Usagi joins the battle, Galaxia unleashes the pain. Her massive attack hits the outers. Pluto uses herself as a human shield to protect Saturn (and secretly sends Saturn to the Time Gate) and Uranus and Neptune are fatally wounded. They reach out for each other as they die.

Sailor Moon is now alone, and Galaxia sets about the destruction of planet Earth. Chibi Chibi suddenly shows and stops it, however. And, Kakyuu comes out of hiding to join the fight. Holy shit, you guys. Kakyuu's voice? Basically opera. She's an opera singer. She sings [Saigo no Kibou/Last Hope]. On Kinmoku, singing ability = power for sure!

Intermission

Back from Intermission, Chaos is having words with Galaxia about The Plan. Blah, blah. Who cares.

Cut to Usagi. She's in her school uniform, just standing there. Alone. Grieveing. Then, suddenly, Ami, Makoto, and Minako appear! They form a playful ring around her Dogeball style saying they need to protect her. Tee-hee! Then they bring up this, basically, rape whistle that Rei apparently gave Usagi if she was ever in trouble. She blows the whistle and Rei comes running. Everybody laughs, and laughs. Usagi is tearful. Why is everyone so loyal to her? Why do they care so much? But the emotional manipulation is not over! The girls say that a special chef has prepared a meal for Usagi. It's Mamoru! He's made a special pun laden dish he calls “Tuxedo La Smoking Hamburg” and why hasn't THAT been on any of the cafe menus, huh?

The peace is broken by Galaxia, and the apparent dream becomes a nightmare. Chibi Chibi then wakes Usagi, who finds herself on the couch in the living room of the house the Three Lights all share. Kakyuu explains that she was always searching for Usagi, because Usagi is pretty much the most powerful being in the universe. She says her own lover was killed, and that's what set her off. Usagi laments that the Silver Crystal always starts conflicts.

Seiya is now in full angst mode. His princess is here, but Usagi is suffering. He wants to comfort Usagi, but feels he can't. He gets down on one knee before Usagi and vows not to leave her side. Meanwhile, Yaten is a catty bitch. Yaten wants nothing to do with these Earth people. Kinmoku First! Kakyuu shuts that down fast. No, we help.

They decide to seek out Galaxia where she lives. They band together and, in a great light show and bit of projection mapping, end up at the River of Memories that acts as a moat to Galaxia's Palace. It's a river of sand. Everyone is separated. We don't see Lethe and Mnemosyne, but the back up dancers that hassle Sailor Moon as tries to remember who she was and why she's here are dressed just like the pair are in the manga before they reveal themselves.

Usagi comes to herself and... poof! Heeeerrrrreee's Chibi Moon! Turns out when Pluto used herself as a human shield to protect Saturn, Saturn went to the future to fetch Chibi Usa. Genius! Nice shipper moment for Hotaru and Chibi Usa there. A battle occurs between Saturn, Sailor Moon, Chibi Moon, Siren and Crow.

Usagi manages to break the hold of the brainwashing bracelets, but Crow and Siren have much more complicated loyalties. Siren says she's sick of fighting. Crow talks about their home worlds. Kinda deep. They guilt Sailor Moon about her super powerful crystal being too strong a lure for bad people and things. They urge her to basically commit suicide for the good of the universe. Sailor Moon... considers it.

Naturally, Galaxia kills Siren and Crow for their betrayal. So, Kakyuu attacks! She's no real match for Galaxia, though, so she takes a fatal hit and dies in Star Fighter's arms. Seiya just can not win. All the Starlights get an attack in. Then, the inevitable. Galaxia revives Tuxedo Kamen and the solar system senshi as baddies complete with super charged abilities thanks to their power bracelets. They have special, Galaxia version of all their attacks and Tuxedo Kamen is the leader instead of Sailor Moon.

Sailor Moon can't bring herself to attack her brainwashed friends. Naturally, Galaxia has also brainwashed Tuxedo Kamen to be in love with her and they kiss just to fuck with Sailor Moon some more. Mamoru is really sexually abused throughout the series, isn't he? Chibi Moon wants to intervene, but Chibi Chibi stops her. When Tuxedo Kamen comes at Sailor Moon, apparently as an attack, the touch forms a telepathic connection. Mamoru assures Usagi that all of them are still alive and intact on the inside and it's just the push she needs!

Sailor Moon upgrades to her ultimate form and we get to see the wings again. Yay! She sets in on Galaxia. Galaxia mocks the fragility of life and human connection. Usagi sings the virtues of love and comradiere and compassion. The battle shifts to the Galaxy Cauldron.

Galaxia wants to make this shit final. She takes all the Sailor Crystals/Star Seeds she's collected and throws them in the Galaxy Cauldron to melt them and destroy them forever. She calls Sailor Moon the ultimate senshi. Galaxia makes a move to kill Sailor Moon, but it stopped by Chaos. Meanwhile, Chibi Chibi and Chibi Moon stand off to the side of the stage, seemingly helpless, watching.

Chaos reframes the argument. Chaos calls back to all the evil Sailor Moon has faced, and calls them the siblings of Sailor Moon. Everything powerful ever was formed in the same Galaxy Cauldron as Sailor Moon's Sailor Crystal/soul was. They are all one in the same.

Galaxia is injured, dying. Sailor Moon says she is lonely. Deserves compassion herself. Needs to be saved.

Chibi Chibi now speaks up. She builds on what the Animates and Chaos have said in the second act: If power exists, it will be used for evil eventually. The only way to achieve peace is to destroy the power that made the Silver Crystal and Usagi in the first place: The Galaxy Cauldron itself. Usagi objects. Wouldn't that mean no more souls would be created? Wouldn't the universe slowly whither and die? Yes, says Chibi Chibi. But there would be no more evil. There would be peace.

Sailor Moon doesn't really hesitate. Life is better. Deeply flawed life is better than peaceful nothing. She pledges to endlessly fight the battle against evil no matter what it takes, because life is worth it. She takes on the responsibility.

The injured Galaxia dies. Chibi Chibi disappears and is replaced by Sailor Cosmos. It's a dramatic moment. Everything is silent. Seeing the Cosmos and Sailor Moon on stage together is freaking amazing you guys.

They manage to revive the solar system senshi and Sailor Moon asks for their help to defeat Chaos. Cosmos and Chibi Moon both sit out the fight together, on the same part of the stage as before. This is the point where I started to suspect Cosmos and Chibi Moon were the same person.

The melted Sailor Crystals are pulled from the Galaxy Cauldron and reformed. Cosmos talks to Chibi Moon. She calls herself the future Sailor Moon. She says that she fled here from a distant future because the battle was too hard. She basically presented Sailor Moon with the moral choice she couldn't make. She says at one point “I have returned here many times”. Very cryptic. I plan to analyze the fuck out of this dialog when the DVD comes out. Usagi barely interacts with Cosmos. It's all Chibi Moon here. I really thing she's talking to her past self. Cosmos calls this Sailor Moon the best Sailor Moon. Read into that what you will. Cosmos promises she won't run away anymore.

Now with the battle over, everyone de-transforms and is reunited. The girls are all in white dresses and pose on the stage after hugging each other, happy to be alive, recreating an artbook scene. Mamoru is so happy to be alive and see Usagi that he wastes no time. Proposes marriage on the spot.

The last scene in the musical is the wedding of Usagi and Mamoru. Mamory is in the green embroidered tuxedo jacket from the artbooks and Usagi has on her pretty white wedding dress. They embrace and are so happy. SO HAPPY! Usagi tells Mamoru that she thinks she's already pregnany with ChibiUsa. I can't remember the exact phrasing but it's something along the lines of “I can already feel the light of a new star growing within me.” Mamoru is ELATED! I cried, you guys.

All of the other senshi flood into the stage, also in white. I believe it's Minako who says that Usagi it's not fair that Usagi be only one to wear a pretty dress. They pose on the stairs in a facimile of the artbook wedding dress image used in the musical promos. Usagi tosses the bouquet and Rei catches it. Whatever, we know Haruka and Michiru are getting married next.

They fade to black and a highlight montage of past musicals is projected on the stage. I cried again. At the end of the montage it says “The end.”. Noo!!! Do Sailor V or the side stories or ANYTHING! More! More!

There were 5 encore songs. Tuxedo Kamen, all senshi, Uranus/Neptune, Endymion, everyone doing Ai no Starshine, and then everyone doing Moonlight Densetsu. I didn't just cry, I bawled like a baby.

The musical was amazing. The story was much faster paced than, say, the Sailor Moon S musical. The way several characters framed the final battle as a moral choice was really masterful storytelling for one of these things. With the exception of the backup dancers, every costume was awesome. Super 90's civilian clothes! Super shiny senshi ensembles! Wedding dresses! The best! I can't wait to see it on DVD. Wish I could have gone again. And again.

Thematically, this musical really puts Usagi to the test. It presents her with the ultimate moral choice surrounding her power. She actively chooses to fight evil forever. She chooses to preserve life. She never wavers in her love for Mamoru. Seiya might start to fall for her, but she doesn’t seem to even notice. I feel like the writers really listened to criticism of previous shows here. So much worked so well!