#one person concedes total authority (within an agreed-upon set of terms) in Every aspect of their life to another
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turns out one of my favorite fictional relationship dynamics is literally just "total power exchange but with more murder"
#mine#for those of you who don’t go there TPE is a kink thing where basically#one person concedes total authority (within an agreed-upon set of terms) in Every aspect of their life to another#anyways i’m a sucker for ‘person who could kill you six ways in the next five seconds commits their entire self to carrying out the will of#someone physically ‘weaker’ (ie less murder-capable) than themself - even if only in that NOBODY is as murder-capable as them#it’s just GOOD is the thing okay it’s Good. it’s So Good#it’s abt the Devotion. it’s abt the reversal of expectations. it’s abt the fantasy of not having to worry about hurting people on accident#but ofc still getting to satisfy the Urge to hurt ppl bc THEY get to decide who needs to be hurt.#it’s about the IMMENSE FUCKING TRUST you have to be able to put in another person to even Consider that to begin with#and yes it’s abt the STUNNING variety of ways this can go wrong because i’m a sucker for pain too#but it’s ALSO abt the fantasy of being loved and known so totally that someone is willing to take absolute responsibility for you#what’s that night vale tweet. tell someone you love a secret. now they have the power to destroy you#it’s about my complex relationship with agency and autonomy#and the exhaustion that comes with being the only person you can trust#and the question of what could Possibly make it worth the risk of opening yourself up THAT MUCH to Anyone#and the answer being total freedom of an absolutely different kind than before#the idea that (if not redemption then at least) peace can be earned by doing the right thing#but not trusting yourself to know what the right thing even IS anymore because it hasn’t mattered in so long#because when protecting yourself is your first and only mandate there’s a LOT of ‘wrong’ things it becomes very easy to do#(without even any guilt after the fact. only guilt about the lack of guilt. anyways)#and the HUMANITY of it all and of course the ways a person has to be hurt for this to be an appealing option in the first place#(hello: fiction-as-therapy)#and ALSO. LAST BUT NOT LEAST. it’s about Murder Sexy. thank you for coming to my ted talk#(and Yes it’s fucked up but come on the fantasy of things being THAT EASY. one person as your moral lodestone.)#(no more worrying about right or wrong. abt what do i owe the world versus what happiness do i deserve for myself)#(of letting someone else decide all of that. mph. exquisite. and also if what they decide happens to be wanton violence)#(well then i the audience get to enjoy that too! it is after all my prerogative)
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