#one of the game badges related to him literally says “the only reason you’re playing this game.”

[flurriethefox]

Got bored so I decided to do some traditional sketching and—

SEBASTIAN JUMPSCARE

Love him <3 He’s so cool and awesome and cutely annoying and holy shit his voice is hot—

For anyone who doesn’t know, he’s from the Roblox game “Pressure.”

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

i havent been here in a hot second is there a reason for the makoto hate specifically? like the rants go back to p5's writing issues but the spite for makoto seems very specific did she kill someones dog in one of the spinoffs or what?

You're all good. So here's the thing, she did kill my dog-I'm joking.

When I say “I’m the residential #1 Makoto Hater” it’s a joke, partially cause it probs looks that way (and probs cause it might be true, who knows if you could quantify hate then maybe I’m at the top of the leaderboards 8U but you can’t so we’ll never know). But I’m saying it at as a joke, to own myself and everyone here that knows what I think of her, rather than wear it as a badge of honor or some silliness. It’s just a “oh haha yeah there goes Silly, dunking on Makoto again! She’s basically Makoto’s #1 hater haha oh she’s so silly.” (so please don’t look too deep into it, I just want to have fun).

Anyway, me hating Makoto isn’t new, but I do hold a similar ire towards Futaba, Goro (tho I have camaraderie with his fans, I relate to their struggle in terms of my own brown hair and red eye fav and Atlus screwing them over u_u I may hate your fave but I respect you and will be in your corner), and Yukari (as well as Chloe from LiS if you want a non-Persona example). Makoto might be talked about more because 1) She hits my buttons that much faster (Futaba/Goro are more like a festering wound, and when I talk about them it’s hard to pick a starting point), 2) Her fans tendency (early on in the fandom) bringing her up frequently.....was a bad combo with #1 (overexposure+pushing all my buttons really fast=disaster). Obvie not blaming her fans, but it was hard to curate how I was able to curate my content online (esp with gaming news websites calling her “best girl” when showing off a figure announcement or some BS when I just want to know what new games have been announced >.> I can do without you trying to start a waifu war in the comments Siliconera -_-)

Anyway, I think I’ve made my reasons for hating her very clear (you just have to search her name on my blog and you’ll get a ton of essays I’m sure, too many to count). And a lot of it is the failure of P5′s writing. “So it’s just the writing you hate, not the character.” No. Because that doesn’t make sense. Except under certain circumstances (which I’ll provide examples of below with Luke Skywalker), you can’t separate the writing from the character. The character IS the writing, the writing IS the character. If you can’t hate/dislike the char because “of the writing” then you also can’t love/like them either. The character and the writing/writing choices for that character are connected. The writing embodies that character. They are the same.

Now I said there was an exception, and that’s....”different writer/director,” tho it’s not ALWAYS the case (sometimes the new writer really gets the original writing, like Saito for MM.....they are very good at emulating the clusterfuck of P5′s writing). P5′s writing is the original basis for Makoto’s character, that’s her. You can’t separate it from her. Same thing with say....Luke Skywalker from the OG trilogy, that’s him. But then we get to the sequel/Disney trilogy, new writer/director....and yeah that’s a mess (from what I understand OG trilogy=Hopeful and tries to see the best in people, 2nd Disney=Cynic and tried to kill a child, 3rd Disney=Hopeful again for some reason). There’s character development, then there’s just straight up changing the character just cause you need them to be this now. 

*writes how this can apply to Persona spinoffs but deletes because I was getting too off track* Look at me exercising control. It’s probs best I save that for a meta after I’ve replayed all the spinoffs again.

But....if you want me to boil down my issues with Makoto, I hate the message we get from her. I hate the lesson we learn from her. What is supposed to happen vs what happens.  It’s supposed to be about a girl who is blindly following authority and becomes disillusioned with it after being burned by it, on top of “immense pressure” she has as well, and then comes to our side (we know this because Atlus told us). We don’t get that (we know this because we saw the execution). We get two adults, yes TWO ADULTS, one of which is her sister and wants her to do well in school (but isn’t like.....a tiger mom about it, because Sae can’t be TOO horrible because we need to like her later), who in retrospect seems very busy with her job (which gives Makoto freedom), but also feels burdened by her younger sister (in which she has one shitty slip with her and then NEVER again). And the other is a dumbass principal who asks a really strange and stupid task for Makoto that snowballs into bullshit. That’s IT! THAT’S IT! That’s all we get from Makoto and “authority.” Strawmen. We don’t really get much of her personality either (I’m not saying that cause “she’s cardboard” I legit just.....don’t get her? Like I don’t get enough of her to get a solid foundation, you get me?) Like as the player, what we see of her is she’s just studying in the library (Kamo arc), then the principal calls her in, she mentions the rumors about Kamo, he asks her to look into the PT in exchange for a recommendation (to which she’s surprised and says thanks, not no, she looks like she’ll accept JUST BASED ON THAT) but before she can even say Yes (OR NO) he threatens Makoto with her sister, to which Makoto hardens and then agrees. Then she acts like an asshole and yadda yadda stuff happens.

But if she’s supposed to blindly follow authority, she’d say yes, but then they don’t let the character breathe so she can make the “wrong” choice because the Principal goes STRAIGHT to threatening her.......so now the message is muddled, or really it’s non existent. The whole Sae thing is a nothing bag too, it’s just family drama. Her sister is, no HAS to be absent a lot for her work, just so Makoto can have the freedom to be a PT....which means....it hurts her lack of freedom and other stuff associated with Sae being a big pressure on Makoto’s life. You know, I’ve said before they’ve squandered Sae, and that Makoto’s presence really harmed Sae (iirc it was this post). But at the same time, how they handled Sae really screws up Makoto’s character. Neither are allowed to breathe. Neither are allowed to make a true, horrible choice...and then learn from it. They aren’t allowed to have an actual arc. Altus played it safe, took choice away from them, didn’t want to take risks with either character and have meaning. Instead we just have this nothing contradiction thing dicking around until they join our team. 

What really sucks about that....is we got that with the Kamo arc. With Anne, Ryuji, even Yuki and Shiho. Kamo was manipulative, and his manipulation caused people to make....not the best choices, all out of a means to survive. Ryuji physically acted against Kamo, and he got his leg broken, team disbanded, and outcasted. Anne was trying to protect Shiho’s position on the team, which lead to her almost getting harmed by Kamo, Shiho getting harmed, her not seeing the truth about what was going on around her, and she didn’t tell Shiho (because she didn’t want Shiho to think she didn’t get on the team for her own merits), and so on. Shiho didn’t tell Anne what was going on because she wanted to protect Anne from Kamo (and was afraid Anne would, very much blame herself), and her and Yuki and the rest of the teams helped keep quiet about Kamo so they wouldn’t be next on the physical chopping block. This isn’t me blaming them, this is me showing their choices, their attempts to fix their (hopeless) situation, to help themselves or others, and the dramatic irony being it just made everything worse. BUT, even tho Kamo was the real one to blame, each character is aware of the actions that were made, and the consequences of each action (esp Anne/Ryuji/Shiho). And in their CoOps, they identify this, and take strides to learn from it so it doesn’t happen again. That’s an arc. That’s character development. They were allowed to make errors, mistakes, decisions that negatively impacted themselves/other’s. We see a solid foundation of their character from the get go, and how it changes over that small time. We don’t get that with Makoto. The group is like solid concrete to Makoto who is like shifting sand. 

Sorry got a bit off topic, anyway, I hate her message of boasting about her fighting ability but she only harms her friends (outside of shadows, but that’s not special) WHILE ALSO being a damsel that needs someone else to rescue her! I hate how when she gets called out, she wants to drop it, and gives gaslighty apologies, even tho she really ROYALLY screwed lot of people very badly. I hate how she demands us to help, only to literally be a detriment to our investigation. I hate how she gets to fly off the handle without repercussions (despite needing to be cool calm and collected for her job, especially since she miraculously can do that when needed so what the hell????). I hate how the text has her be shitty, say shitty things, be bad at her job, but will turn around and reward her time and time again. 

Sure she doesn’t break the lore like Futaba, or unravel P5′s plot like Goro. But as a character with a message attached to her, even ones that the creators surely overlooked (I’m sure they didn’t intend for her to only hit her friends), it’s simple but very annoying. Fast and easy to see, doesn’t require me to think of P5′s lore as well as the grander Persona lore. Doesn’t require me to dig through text for Goro bread crumbs and then unravel the entire basis of the P5 plot thanks to him. Makoto is easier to get into, it’s smaller scale and more personal I guess. 

[swansstuff]

So uh, I've been thinking about a hypothetical Trucy Wright: Act Attorney and here is the very poorly written outline for it because yeah. No spoilers except the Apollo Trucy thing. Tw death, murder, blood and grieving so yeah.

Trucy's first case is literally her first ever case. This is a flashback case. We follow her as she wakes up, slightly stressed about today, Phoenix gives her cereal and a pep talk and a cryptic message. Trucy asks where Papa is, it is Miles, they are married. Phoenix is cryptic about that too. He stays behind as he "has to buy groceries" so Trucy heads into the office. Apollo greets her, it's clear they know they're siblings, and he hands her a case. Miles is prosecuting. She is fucking terrified. She goes to the crime scene, Gumshoe is the detective and he's educating his teenage sons, constant confusion of who's who, because they are twins and they look very like Gumshoe, it'll be kinda funny. Its a simple investigation. During the investigation, the player can check Trucy's profile and the profile system shows character's middle names now. We get some gems such as Klavier Hyacintha Gavin later on, the reasoning behind this is coz Trucy is nosy. The important one here is Trucy Mia Wright. She says something about how she chose her own middle name when Phoenix adopted her and she chose Mia after learning about her. Yada yada. Trucy wins the case. Edgeworth is very proud, Phoenix is in the gallery and there's a flash of him crying proud tears, Apollo hugs her afterwards, Athena congrats her.

Next case, flash forward three years later, we do not see Phoenix and nobody really mentions him. Thats because he's fucking dead but we don't know that yet. This case is a Fey case, we meet Maya who is married to Franziska and they're technically on honeymoon in Kurain and Pearl becomes the Maya to Trucy's Phoenix. Its another fey murder case. There are a few mentions of Trucy's admiration of Mia, mainly just a mirror of a few lines she's said and a conversation where her and Maya talk about her, Trucy says she would have loved to meet her and Maya explains how her spirit has been dormant for ages now and how she assumes she's moved on.

"If you want I can try and channel-"

"No no no no NO. Its ok!"

This is our first hint that Phoenix is no longer with us, but we don't know until later thats what she means. Sebastian is the prosecutor, the player finds out that Miles is taking a break from prosecuting work, Trucy already knew of course, and Sebastian is dubbed Chief until he comes back, Fran says

"It would've been me were I not on my literal honeymoon right now." We are not told why yet, but it is because of Phoenix. Kay Faraday is the detective, somebody murders someone and frames Maya, no-one is shocked by this. We also get an update on Iris, she's thriving. She wins yada yada.

Next case, a couple of months later, Trucy gets a call from a friend that the player can't identify at first. Its Katrielle Layton. She needs Trucy's legal knowledge because someone is sueing her detective agency because have you seen how they practice. This, of course, turns to murder and we get another surprise when we meet the prosecutor. Who probably has a licence to practise law in England? Simon Blackquill, he is British ok. Yeah, Trucy wins with Kat's help, we meet Ernest and Sherl and Alfendi and Flora if we have time. I miss them. Trucy and Kat have a conversation that cryptically addresses their fathers and their "whereabouts" and living up to their legacy. We see Trucy cry, but only a similar flash to AJ:AA and we do not know why. Yet.

Next case, flashback case. Trucy is the assistant on this case but we still play as her, even in the court sections since Phoenix is prepping her for the bar and getting her to give him the answers. The bar exam is only in three days. Klavier is prosecuting. The case somehow relates to Kristoph and there's the whole mirror dynamic thing of when Phoenix lost his badge. Kristoph is dead by now, but the whole thing is there was a plot inside prison to make Phoenix pay for putting a bunch of them in, Kristoph was the assumed ring leader until he died and the cops now dont know who's running it. Somebody (Godot? That would hurt big time) was their inside man, sent to figure that out, so when whoever it was turned up dead, the whole thing got exposed. We get a bit of a Mia moment in the trial where Trucy tells Phoenix to flip over the receipt (thats evidence for some reason). Phoenix says "I feel like that shouldn't be the second time someone has said that to me". The killer is found, by Phoenix, and put into isolation, as have most of the other participants. We then see Trucy get her badge. They have a conversation and Trucy says Phoenix basically forgot about it for a couple of months. The case closes with a foreboding "and I forgot about it too, until..."

Next case. Phoenix is fucking murdered. Trucy gets a phone call late at night, she hears laboured breathing on the other end and a "don't forget I love you" from Phoenix. Trucy pulls a simba and goes "dad? Dad?!!" And the line goes dead. The player is presented with a choice of who to call. They have two phone calls. Who they choose first makes no difference, but the second time they are forced to choose Ema who will trace Phoenix's phone call. They could call Apollo and he would comfort her, Miles would panic, Maya would say he was just messing around, Athena would sense her distress and say she's coming over etc. You could attempt to call Phoenix back but he would not answer and you would be allowed to call someone else. Ema then traces the phone call and we follow Trucy to the crime scene. We get a truly haunting cutscene where everything kinda goes blurry except Phoenix's face and the blood. Trucy doesn't cry. She stands there in shock. The WAA is there in various states of shock and upset. Return of grieving Apollo I guess. Miles turns up and the look on his face is haunting. Trucy and him make eye contact and they share the thought of something has to be done. And then. "The bar association took me off the case and Papa too, they said we were too close to it. As a result, we never found out who did it... Until now." And we see a determined Trucy face. We jump forward to where we last saw Trucy, she and Pearl are coming back from England and its a bit more cheery. Trucy sends Pearl on a train back to Kurain and heads on home. She enters the house and we see Miles pouring over Phoenix's case. He jumps up and runs towards her.

"Trucy! I think I have a lead, I-"

"Papa, you're tired, go to bed." (Or better dialogue along those lines)

Its clear he's been doing this sort of thing a lot.

"But I do! At least...I think I do..."

He trails off and rests his head in his hands.

"Do I? Or am I just a mess?"

Trucy gives him a sad smile.

"C'mon let's go to bed."

Miles returns the sad smile and fades out like all ace attorney characters do. The player is given the option to look around. There's probably some emotional dialogue and bits that give clues to how she and Miles have been fairing the past 3 years. Answer is, not very well. Examine the pile of papers on the table. Trucy will take a look and then realise her papa may have actually been onto something. Its a diagram of which prisoners knew each other, with an arrow from each leading to a defense attorney we have never met. Trucy is confused, but she calls for Miles anyway. He comes back downstairs and Trucy asks him about this lead he found.

"Well I realised all those prisoners would know this defense attorney (insert name?)"

"Why? And why would they be suspicious?'

"They (pronouns?) Were always the defense attorney who would take on the cases of those Wright had already accused. They gained a reputation of being the doomed defense attorney."

"So... They knew all the prisoners in the plot and they had a grudge against daddy... Papa I think you're onto something!"

And the case continues, since we already know who's been accused, it plays out more like an investigations game, Trucy has to prove it, with Miles' help of course, literally every other character we know and love plays a part in making sure this guy gets a guilty verdict. There is still a courtroom bit and a moment when all is looking dark, Trucy literally has a full on breakdown as the Judge threatens to remove her from the case again. Miles is by her side, they're both technically prosecution here i guess. Miles, however, is too deep in his own mental breakdown to help. Everyone else is in the gallery besides Pearl. Pearl channels Phoenix as a last hope sort of thing. Phoenix comforts her and tells her to keep fighting, he touches her badge and probably says some sort of bullshit about it. The Judge is about to bang the gavel when Trucy and Phoenix object at the same time. Miles looks up and realises whats going on and he objects too, a little later. The battle goes on until it finishes and the other attorney has a breakdown that steals little bits from every other murderer Phoenix has put behind bars.This is the one time seeing the word guilty on your screen feels good. There's a whole heartwarming celebration at the end, Phoenix sticks around for a little bit and everyone gets a bit of closure. Its assumed he's gone since Pearl passes out and Trucy dips out for a sec. She's away from the festivities, staring at the badge in her hand and we see someone coming up behind her. Maya is channelling Phoenix now. He gives Trucy a hug and utters the words "the only time a lawyer can cry is when its all over and, Trucy darling, my light, its over." Echoing both Diego and Mia.

And the screen fades to black with a final hug between father and daughter.

:)

[authoratmidnight]

Honestly, after playing Pokemon Shield, I don’t get all the whining. 

‘It’s too hand holdy’

I mean, not really. All the beginning tutorials can easily be skipped by telling the NPCs you know about the thing they’re asking.

When Sonia asks about what you know about pokemon, you tell her you know a lot, she just hands you the Pokedex, skipping whatever that tutorial was. Tell Hop you have been in a Pokecenter before, tutorial skipped. Catch a pokemon before Leon gives you the catching tutorial? He’s notice you have another pokemon and go ‘oh you do know’ and skip the catching tutorial and just give you the balls.

For once telling the NPCs that you do know things will actually skip the tutorials.

Cause I don’t expect them to get rid of them, because you’re going to have people for whom these are their first games or first games in a long time so they’ll need refreshers, esp if they’ve never played a Switch before.

And through the rest of the game the only tutorials are for new things/controls/mechanics so, they’re useful.

I actually don’t mind the start menu reminding me where I’m supposed to be going/what I’m supposed to doing. Cause it’s really easy to just, fuck around for hours avoiding the plot (esp in the Wild Area) forget what you’re supposed to be doing, so it’s nice to be able to open the menu and see it say my current plot related objective.

The graphics.

I think they’re just fine. I don’t get why some people think that because it doesn’t have photorealistic graphics it’s ‘cheap’ or ‘sloppily made’ or, whatever they’re trying to say it is when they compare it to games like, Death Stranding (yeah I saw this comparison on twitter :/ PS fanboys be whack). It’s not supposed to be photorealistic. It’s stylized.

I don’t want the games to look like the Detective Pikachu movie (no hate on the movie or how it/the pokemon look cause I do like how it looks, I just don’t want that for a pokemon GAME).

Plus like, if you made the overworld look all hyper-realistic, you’d either a) have to do the same with the pokemon themselves which would take even more damn time to make or b) have to deal with colourfully cartoony creatures roaming in a realistic setting and making it look really jarring.

The graphics are fine. It’s pokemon, it’s for kids, it’s SUPPOSED to look cartoonish.

Plus, they’re hella pretty ok??

Also, the pokemon look fine.

Like, for some reason before the games came out and we had only a little bit of game play revealed, everyone was so damn focused on the Wingull models and the fact that they hovered. Never mind the 100+ other pokemon models and how they moved and look (including all the other bird pokemon that *gasp* flap their wings). Never mind that this how Wingull has always been shown to fly even in the anime. Never mind that that’s LITERALLY HOW SEAGULLS FLY (by gliding) and that it only looks ‘lazy’ cause they’re doing it a few feet off the ground as opposed to way up high over the ocean. Nope, for some reason that one single model and one single animation cycle is enough to condemn everything. And I don’t get it.

Cause they look fine. I love playing with them in Pokemon Camp cause they’re so fun and expressive and they do their own things (my Dubwool is such an attention hog he’s always wanting my attention it’s adorable).

And guess what, I can’t even be mad about the cut pokemon either (my baby Absol was cut so yeah i get not having your fav) cause there’s so many cool NEW ones to play with. My entire team atm is new pokemon.

Also, the rival, Hop? I love him. Contrary to what everyone seems to think, a rival does not in fact need to be a bratty asshole to be a good rival. You can have a good rival who is friendly and nice. I love Hop, he is a good boy and a good rivla (I like Hau for the same reason).

Another thing I’ve noticed is that the game feels, big. Like I’ve only obtained 4 badges, making me only half way through (less considering we still have the E4 and post game stuff) but I feel like I’m farther along because this game and the world is so BIG and there’s so much to see and do (esp with the Wild Area haha). And I like it.

The game is FUN. The game is PRETTY. The game is ENJOYABLE.

Which, really is all that matters tbh.

[thebiasrekkers]

Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]

Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC Genre: BTS Mafia!AU Warnings: Graphic Violence, Heavy Language, Angst, Smut, Slow Burn WC: 3222 “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?

AO3 | WP

Chapter 08: Am I Wrong?

“Did I say something wrong? Did I lie?”

“Hey, Eden! When are you going to take a break?”

She grunted while shifting her back on the creeper, the wheels creaking as they slid along the concrete. Sweat clung to her brow and she attempted to swipe it away with her forearm. Eden could feel the bandana beginning to soak with sweat, but she refused to stop. Her grip tightened on the socket wrench in her hand, her other hand moving to swivel the under-hood light so she could get a better look at the various rods and pipes situated in the underbelly of the vehicle.

“Seriously, you’ve been at it for three hours straight.” Minki knelt and peered at her from beneath the vehicle. “You need to take a break.”

“Then you take a break,” she said, the heel of her boot scraping along the ground, "I’m not stopping you.”

There was a collective chorus of groans that echoed in the shop. She smirked, ignoring the drop of oil that fell on her cheek. Eden knew that she probably did need to stop and take a moment. But she was stubborn. When she set her mind on something, be it a hobby or a work order, she always saw it through to the very end. She knew her employees were probably aggravated with her for always taking on the most complicated jobs, but succeeding in even the most impossible endeavors made her reliable. Reliability equaled reputation growth.

And a good reputation ensured a steady flow of regular customers.

Even though it was the 21st century, women in certain types of vocational fields were frowned upon. It was even worse in South Korea. At least in America, she only had to deal with the occasional discriminatory remarks. Mostly it had to do with her skin color and her status as an orphan. But here? Well, they judged her on her skin color, her social standing and her occupation. Triple threat – a term she’d been wearing as a badge of pride.

Maybe that was why she was surrounded by co-workers who were similar. Not necessarily due to the outward appearance, but all of them were relatable in a way. But if they were passionate about their jobs, then that was all Eden cared about. It’d taken her long enough to build up her shop and secure regular business. Now she could say, with confidence, that she’d achieved success on her own terms.

Yoon Minki, her assistant and one of her best friends, sighed as he grabbed at her foot and began to shake it back and forth. She lifted her head up so she could peer at him from just over her stomach. He looked like he was torn between scolding her or just giving up.

If she ignored him and went back to work, the former would start up.

Eden sighed, setting the socket wrench on her stomach. “What?”

“Food.” Minki emphasized this by shaking her foot again, this time with more force. “Now.”

“Fine,” she clipped, dragging the heels of her boots toward her so she could slide out from under the car on the creeper. Looking up, she saw her other employees grinning. Had she really been the reason they were waiting? She set the wrench down on the ground and stood up, dusting off the backs of her overalls. “Alright, let’s eat.”

Entering the main office, they all crowded toward the back room where there was a small kitchenette. Minki began setting utensils down around the table and Jumin started putting rice into the metal bowls. The side dishes were already out and the excitement at the prospect of finally eating could be felt all around the room. Eden pushed passed the others as they began to take their seats and Taejun kicked her chair out so she could slide into it. Hyuksoo ladled bean sprout soup into larger metal bowls and set them down in their appropriate spots. Everything smelled delicious and Eden felt a twinge of guilt. She really needed to stop hyper focusing when she was at work, otherwise she was going to starve her employees half to death.

Once the table was set, they all clapped their hands and began digging in.

The conversation circulated around the table and laughter boomed in the small break room. Eden nearly choked on the spoonful of rice she’d swallowed. Minki handed her a cup of barley tea and she washed down the rice and kimchi in her mouth, unable to stop herself from laughing at the insults being fired back and forth between Taejun and Hyuksoo. Jumin fussed at them for causing such a ruckus at the table and Minki joined in on the teasing.

The five of them were like family and Eden wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Her eyes lingered on her phone that sat just in front of her rice bowl. Eden’s smile fell as she lifted a spoonful of soup to her lips, as if she were anticipating it to light up. When it didn’t, she sipped the soup in frustration and set her spoon down roughly in the metal bowl. Minki seemed to notice something was off and he gently nudged her with his knee from under the table. Casting him a sidelong glance, she tried to play it off like it was nothing and resumed eating – her mind only half there with the boys.

The other part of it was occupied with thoughts of Min Yoongi.

It would be a lie to herself and anyone else if she said she still didn’t still have feelings for him. But there was a part of her that knew it probably wouldn’t last. After all, what would a self-made successful entrepreneur like Min Yoongi want with an orphan auto mechanic like her? He probably came from a good family and he’d even hinted that his parents were simple farmers who had tons of land out in the countryside. He’d merely gone into the business venture side so he could help his family more, so they could live more comfortably.

In other words, he came from the chaebol lifestyle on the rural spectrum.

Eden was only half Korean. Sure, that enabled her to have the same rights as Korean citizens thanks to the F4 visa she applied for when she first arrived in the country. Doing a little research, she was able to find out that her own mother came from a line of nobility. But that’s where all the investigation stopped. Eden didn’t want anything to do with it and she did her best to ignore her curiosity. If she dug up any more info and found out that she was some kind of aegissi to some line and would have to give up her current life, she didn’t think she’d be able to handle it.

So, she left it alone.

Even though Yoongi had grown close to her during those first three years, dating for two of them, Eden knew it would fall apart eventually. He was constantly coming and going from her life while she remained where she was, working and covering herself in oil and grease. She was a literal grease monkey and every time she made him wait so she could clean up before going out while he was always looking dapper, there was a twinge of guilt there. Eden knew that there were better women out there for him – someone that fit his status better than her.

There were moments when she even believed he was mostly amusing himself with her. Eden could have almost been content with that. Almost.

But she refused to feel ashamed of herself every time they went out somewhere. And she didn’t know many of his own personal social circles. Again, he was probably too embarrassed to bring her around. She wasn’t rich and while she finished college, she’d hardly call herself scholarly or an intellectual. If anything, Eden knew what kind of nerd she was, and it certainly wouldn’t have suited the tastes of any of Yoongi’s colleagues.

So when he showed up at her shop the other day after months of not seeing each other, Eden believed that maybe, just maybe, they would try to start over. That he would treat her as more than an impulsive drunken fling. Maybe they could do things differently…

Instead, she was offered friendship and no contact after nearly a week.

Is he jerking me around again? she thought, irritation sparking at her temple.

No sooner had she thought that, her phone lit up and her heart leapt into her throat. As her eyes zeroed in on the screen, however, a different name popped up. Her placid expression transformed into mild annoyance. The “mutt” was being ever persistent.

Petty Mutt: Hey, you busy?

Eden stared at the phone, her hands refusing to move to pick it up. Minki seemed to notice and he peered at the screen, his gaze lifting back up to stare at the side of her face. “You’re not gonna answer?”

She resumed eating as the screen went dark. “Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m eating.”

Minki snorted. “Right, because eating stops you from playing on your phone.” She could feel his shit-eating grin without even having to look at him. “Doesn’t stop you from playing those otome games.”

Eden aimed a swift kick to his shin and he half yelped; half laughed while leaning down to rub at his leg.

“Don’t talk shit about my otome games,” she snapped, shoveling more rice into her mouth, “Sarutobi Sasuke doesn’t give me any grief like you fuckers do.”

“Psh, yeah right,” Minki said, still laughing, “like that can substitute a real relationship.”

“Real relationships are a joke,” she said while casting him a sidelong glance, “they only end in disappointment. At least if I’m not satisfied with an ending, I can just restart or delete the app completely.”

Her response came out colder than she’d intended. The table grew silent and she set her chopsticks down while the others looked at her cautiously. It wasn’t like relationships were a taboo topic in her circle. In fact, she encouraged it for the others. The last thing she wanted to deal with were lovesick issues while they were at work. If they were happy with their significant others, then that meant they would work hard so they could hurry up and clock out to be with them.

But for her, she just didn’t care for them. All it ever did was end in disappointment, leaving her feeling inadequate.

Her phone lit up again.

Petty Mutt: Fine, don’t answer me. I’ll just stand out here and wait until you come out.

Eden stood up, the legs of her chair scraping loudly along the floor. Everyone else jumped at the sound, clutching their rice bowls to their chests. She hadn’t meant to startle them, but she couldn’t help her seemingly involuntary reaction.

“That little shit,” she muttered, shuffling around the boys and making her way out to the shop.

Crossing the full expanse of the shop, she pressed the button near one of the garage shutters and it rattled to life – lifting slowly. Her eyes shifted to the ground and she could make out a pair of black and white Chucks nestled under the hems of dress pants. She watched the shoes shifting, as if the person were turning, and when the door slid up fully, she was greeted with the cheeky grin of Jeon Jungkook.

He waved to her, his silver rings reflecting off the setting sun just behind a few of the buildings from across the street. Eden folded her arms across her chest, not caring that she probably looked a mess. Her hair was pulled back in a braid that fell across her shoulder, her bright red bandana hiding the rest of her fringe beneath. Her work gloves hung out of one of the pockets of her faded overalls.

Jungkook pivoted on his heels, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he rocked back on the heels of his sneakers. This made her eyes narrow as he continued to beam at her, like he’d just found a mountain of gold or something.

“Why are you here?” Her tone was gruff and completely unwelcoming.

He continued to smile. “Isn’t it almost time for you to clock out?”

Eden’s arms fell to her side and she jammed her thumb into one pocket, resting her weight on her back leg. “And that’s your business how, hm?”

“I wanted to walk you home.”

“You upfront about your stalking now?”

Jungkook pouted and she didn’t know if she was more irritated that he was giving her that expression or that she felt like she’d just kicked a puppy.

“Why you gotta be like that, Eden Noona?”

“Don’t call me that,” she said, stepping out of the shop. She pressed one of the buttons on the clicker in her pocket. The garage door closed behind her. “We’re not close enough for you to address me like that.”

His brows furrowed, a pained expression flitting over his features and her heart twisted inside of her chest. Now she really did feel like she’d just kicked a puppy.

“…sorry.”

Eden looked at his pitiful face and she groaned, turning her head away from him. If she didn’t look at him, maybe she wouldn’t feel bad for what she’d just said. “Forget about it.” She continued to look away from him. “What do you want?”

“I already told you that --”

“I don’t need you to walk me home.” Eden gave him a sidelong glance. “I’m a grown ass woman and can take care of myself just fine.”

There was a long stretch of silence between them before she heard him sigh. “…it’s because I’m a gangpae , isn’t it?” He looked at her and she could feel the weight of his gaze on top of her. “You don’t want to be seen with some punk like me, huh?”

Eden felt a flash of anger explode across her chest. “That’s gotta be the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” she said loudly, “you take me for some kinda judgmental little --”

Her words were cut short when she saw Jungkook advancing toward her. Her eyes widened as he immediately began crowding her personal space, her back pressing against the metal garage door. He shot his arms out, his palms slamming into the door on either side of her head. Eden took a moment to search his face, to see if there was any rage or hostility there. But there was none. She heard a soft scraping sound around her ears and could see his palms curled into fists.

“Then why?” Jungkook wasn’t yelling, but she heard the desperation in his tone. “Why do you keep pushing me away?”

A lump was forming in her throat and she was doing her best to swallow it down. She wasn’t sure if there was an answer that she could give him that he’d be satisfied with. Especially since he’d been adamant about chasing her for months now. Eden wasn’t one to judge anyone for their background, considering what her own was. But she didn’t want to get hurt again. She didn't want to take the risk.

Jungkook had been persistent in his attempts to get her attention. She’d give him props for his tenacity. Most men would have given up. Most men had given up. And she honestly didn’t understand what he saw in her that day he brought his motorcycle to be serviced. But ever since then, he’d been in hot pursuit – taking it to new levels she’d never experienced.

Seriously, who would go out of their way to steal a girl’s phone number?

He wasn’t ugly, he had a sweet smile and he was genuinely a nice person. Eden had seen it for herself. What asshole went around helping old ladies with their groceries, or made sure kids didn’t run out in the middle of the street and get hurt? Jungkook even smacked teenagers who were trying to play hooky, even going so far as to drag them back to school by the scruffs of their uniforms.

Him being a gangster had nothing to do with her pushing him away.

Regardless of why he lived the life that he did, why he chose that path, it held no precedence on her keeping him at arms’ length. She just didn’t want to get hurt. Not again. Eden knew what she was worth and knew what circles she didn’t want to be around. She knew that she didn’t want to deal with any bullshit and the last thing she wanted to do was tangle herself (or her heart) in a place where it would be difficult to climb out of. Being stuck between a rock and a hard place? No, she wasn’t about to deal with that shit again.

“It has nothing to do with you,” she replied, her voice softer than earlier, “I wish you’d get that.”

J ungkook leaned in closer, causing her to press the back of her head further into the metal surface. “Well, I don’t.” He continued to look at her with that hurt expression, inadvertently breaking her heart just a little bit. “I don’t get it at all.”

Eden sighed but said nothing. She didn’t know what to say and it wasn’t like she was against the idea of getting to know him better. He was stubborn as her, if not more so.

“Just…just let me walk you home?”

Lifting her eyes to meet his, she saw his gentle smile return even though his brows were furrowed.

“Please?”

The lump in her throat settled just a smidge. All she could do was look at him as he patiently waited for her response. She knew the smart thing to do was tell him to fuck off – to leave her alone and to never show his face in front of her again. It wasn’t like he hadn’t made it clear that he was attracted to her and it would be a lie if she didn’t find it a little flattering.

…oh, goddammit .

“…fine,” Eden muttered, knowing that if she tried to come up with any sort of excuse, she’d flounder under his insistence. “I need to finish up the paperwork for today so just…” She paused, pointing at the ground. “You wait here, you got that?”

Jungkook pushed himself off the door, standing at his full height. He beamed down at her and Eden rolled her eyes before turning away from him to hide the warmth crowning her cheeks.

“Kay!”

She pushed the button on the clicker again, the metal shutters sliding up so she could step back into the shop. When she stepped inside, she slapped the button on the wall to close the shutter back behind her. Eden took about two steps before she was face-to-face with the rest of the boys, all of them clinging to their rice bowls and eyes wide as saucers.

She frowned. Those nosy little shits…

“Get the fuck on!” she bellowed, pointing back to the break room area, “and clean the damn table!”

“Yes Ma’am!” they yelped, scrambling to the back.

Pressing the back of her wrist to her forehead, she sighed. “…why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?” 

[muddyorbsblr]

Let’s Support MatPat However We Can

The last 24 hours have been a rollercoaster for MatPat’s community. Regardless of where you hang your online cape, I’m pretty sure you heard about it: YouTube approached The Game Theorists for the opportunity to turn on Channel Membership on their channel, and Matthew did something very considerate and thoughtful for his community before making the big decision:

He asked us first. 

A lot of YouTubers don’t do that. But Matthew did. Because he wanted to make his final decision based on what would benefit the community the most. So he linked a Google Survey containing a simple three-option question: Should Channel Membership be turned on? The options? Yes, No, and I don’t care.

This is when shit started hitting the fan, because a lot of people were on the side of No. And their reasoning wasn’t as sound as I hoped it would have been. Had their reasoning been “No, because you guys already make cool content, there’s no need to try and experiment with new forms of media just stay as you are”, it probably wouldn’t be that bad. Even though improvement and evolution is always a key factor in the lifespan of anything. Regardless of whether it’s regarding someone’s personality or someone’s YouTube content.

But that wasn’t the reasoning behind the collective No of the community. The reasoning was this: On a personal level, on the individual level, it would hurt them. Because they believed that the enabling of this feature will create a rift in the community between members and non-members. All this because of the perks that they were focusing on that Matthew highlighted in his video. The most prominent feature they were all problematic over being: Members-Only Live Streams. They didn’t want that. But let me break down the logic that they were clearly not thinking through:

In a month, GTLive will stream every single weekday at 4pm PST. That’s a mostly guaranteed schedule, barring any emergencies or last minute meetings. This is available for everyone, members and non-members alike. This could be anything from a gameplay to a challenge video, but one thing’s for sure: this will never be member-exclusive. GTLive stays exactly as it is. So that’s approximately 22 streams a month, at most. 

In that same month, assuming the feature is enabled, Matthew & Stephanie and possibly the rest of the GTLive crew will make at least one extra live stream, accessible only to members. This could be anything from an AMA, to a behind the scenes, to maybe some goofy ideas they wanna test out before making it accessible to the rest of the audience. Honestly it could be whatever they wanted. Same goes for the once a month members-only video that goes up. 

So when you look at it this way…you’re comparing TWENTY-TWO streams and FOUR videos a month to one of each, and this is what you’re focusing on as your reason to say NO to giving other people the opportunity to support Matthew. 

What is the purpose of these videos and streams and other perks in the first place? Before I get into that, let me make something perfectly clear: Matthew did not need to put those perks into his channel membership system. That was not a requirement in order for him to enable this feature. Put that in your brain. Now…the purpose of these perks are simply this: Members put in a small fee ($5) into supporting Matthew’s channel, which in turn gives him the opportunity to start making more intricate and elaborate content for us (us the community, not us the members) to enjoy. The perks are a thank you from creator to “financial supporter” for the contributions they put in, nothing more and nothing less.

But I don’t have the money to buy membership. But I want those perks as well. That’s just being greedy. The philosophy is this: You put in more contributions, you receive more rewards. But the case is not you put in nothing, you receive nothing. You receive a stream on the weekdays and a weekly theory. You receive regular and consistent content. Like I said, the perks are an extra thank you to to the members. For putting in the money to help support the channel. And I can hear your next question coming a mile away.

But Matthew said they’re doing just fine with AdSense. So they don’t have to turn on this feature, right?  Did you…did you not pay attention to the video? Yes, they’re doing FINE. By fine, we mean that he’s not going to starve for the next few years if YouTube decides to change up the algorithm in favor of someone who makes the exact opposite of Matthew’s content and he suddenly loses views. However, just because he is doing fine and the channel is doing fine, it doesn’t mean that there’s NO ROOM for the channel to do better. What do I mean by this? By even just 2000 members of his community signing up for Channel Membership, that will result to $7000 going into funding for future projects, for more ARGs, for more merch, a month. The channel will do exponentially so much better and the community as a whole will benefit from just these 2000 people. And I say 7000 because 30% of the channel membership fee goes to YouTube.

So why can’t they just give us all the content they had planned as the thank you for the channel members instead of creating the divide?  What divide? The divide that was created by the fans by fulfilling their own prophecy of a divide being created? Don’t pretend that Matthew is the one behind this. This was all you. And if you weren’t paying attention to literally anything I just said, pay attention to this: Those videos and streams were planned to thank the people who chose to donate their money in the name of supporting the channel. 

So because I didn’t fork up the cash to support the channel, I don’t deserve a thank you?  Let’s say you have a friend who saved up money to give his mother a gift for her birthday, and she thanked her son (naturally)…do you think it’s unfair that all you were able to do is witness the giving and the receiving and the thanking from afar without your friend’s mother thanking you for doing nothing? Do you think it’s unfair that your friend’s mother got a gift on her birthday when so many mothers around the world don’t? Do you see how messed up this logic is?  This isn’t even the case with non-members. It’s not that exaggerated and it’s not that idiotic. Because you get your thank you every single day that they stream, for every single video they put out. Thanks for watching. Thank you for joining us. If you really think that that’s not a satisfactory amount of gratitude for the amount of support you put in, then maybe that’s not Matthew’s problem anymore. It’s yours. 

Does this mean that if I don’t become a channel member, I am less of a fan?  No. Absolutely not. This doesn’t make you any less of a fan. You know why? Because the support they’ve been getting via AdSense is only happening because of all of us non-members. Because of the watch hours we put in. Because of the ads that we’re forced to watch for five seconds before skipping. They’ve been doing just fine from the non-members alone. So no. Being a non-member doesn’t give you any less value as a fan just like being a member and giving the money monthly doesn’t give you any addiitonal value as a fan. 

The driving force behind channel membership is essentially this: The support of a few will be beneficial to the whole. So by enabling this feature, the opportunity for bigger & better ARGs, for even better quality merch, for more merch, and for bigger projects to be tackled by Matthew and the rest of the Game Theorists crew is enabled as well. The purpose of the membership is not to create a rift from the fans between the members and the non-members. And of course it’s going to look like that in the beginning, because you’re focusing on the finer details when you should be focusing on the big picture. So allow me to describe to you the bigger picture.

What will non-members get from Matthew turning on Channel Membership?  • a bigger, more elaborate, more intricate ARG in the form of a bigger merch mystery • production of more merchandize in terms of quantity of products manufactured. This means that products are probably not gonna get sold out in less than 3 days when the goods go live on the Creator Ink website • production of more merchandize in terms of variety of products. Basically, more kinds of merch. Maybe more designs for the shirts, maybe some Film Theory merch again. Maybe a phone case. Maybe a onesie for babbys. Maybe Theorist pajamas. But the point is we won’t know until it happens. • higher grade quality production of merchandize items. Self-explanatory.  • potentially bigger & more elaborate projects by Matthew. Maybe he’ll get to actually conduct experiments a la Mythbusters for the sake of a theory. We’ll never know until it happens. And because y’all are voting NO, we may never know.

So now…what will channel members get from Matthew turning on Channel Membership? • Everything mentioned for the non-members • At least one members-only video per month that does not contain content regarding the main focus of the channel. This could be anything from vlogs to science experiments, to blooper reels • At least one members-only stream per month. Again, this will probably not contain content related to the main focus of the channel. So this will not be a let’s play or a challenge video. Probably.  • Possibly a live stream that everyone can view, but not everyone can chat in. So a public stream with a members-only chat. I can hear your pitchforks being sharpened from here. • Merch discount codes • a badge next to your display name in the comments section as well as the live chat • a selection of emotes to be used in live chat and comments

When you look at those perks, you’ll see that they function solely as tokens of appreciation for the people who gave their money in order to support the channel and its endeavors to improve on its content for the benefit of the community as a whole. Perks are an ancillary thank you, like a gold star from a teacher when they really appreciated your work. Not every student will get it, because not every student put in the same amount of work. 

Personally I had every intention of signing up for channel membership, because my philosophy has always been this: If i spend more money a day on my coffee and my food than I would in a month to support someone I absolutely and unconditionally respect, someone who makes my list of My Favorite People…then why the fuck would I not take that opportunity?  And here’s the thing, it took me three days to justify sponsoring Markiplier. And one of the things I said back then was “Had this been Matthew, however, I would have signed up in a heartbeat.” And now herein lies that precise opportunity for me to sign up in a heartbeat. And that survey is taking that opportunity away from me, and from a lot of other people, one NO at a time.

Another thing that immensely pissed me off is this: People are now blaming Matthew for their mental health issues. Just recently, like just a few hours before writing this long and winded post, I saw a comment from someone who was essentially blaming Matthew for her suicidal tendencies and her chronic insomnia because she wasn’t able to get merch, or even get to participate in the final stretch of the merch mystery. And because she didn’t win, she now blames Matthew for the resulting mental health issues that attacked her during those following nights. And now she’s blaming Matthew and the channel membership discussion for her occurring anxiety attack. And this isn’t an isolated case. A lot of people are blaming Matthew and his intention to better the content of the channel and better everything he’s about to put out into the world for their mental health issues.

They’re directly mentioning Matthew and Stephanie and the rest of the GTLive crew in their tweets to tell them that this treatment of members vs non-members is unfair. And I can’t imagine the amount of negative feedback currently appearing on their notifications because people are so against the idea of thanking the people who went above and beyond what’s expected of a fan in order to support the channel. 

It feels like the creator isn’t allowed to thank people anymore unless they’re thanking everyone. Even though only a small portion of that ‘everyone’ was really deserving of the extra gratitude. The mentality that ‘they put in the extra work, but we should have all the benefits’ is so toxic and so mind-numbingly idiotic that it makes me want to leave the GTLive community altogether. I mean, sure I’d still be participating by commenting on videos and tweeting along during the streams, but actually interacting with fellow members of the community? Potential hard pass right there. 

I’ve seen some great members. I talk to them on a near daily basis. But I’ve also seen a much more overwhelming amount of toxic members. People who use their following to create rifts in the community because they have thousands of followers and Matthew follows them, people who go so far as to DM members of the crew why they think the feature shouldn’t push through because it’s unfair to them on a personal level, people who brag that they’re willing to spend $5 on a coffee a day, but not the same amount of money for a month to support their ‘faves’. People who twisted my words of “this is just him thanking people who gave him the extra support” and turning it into “so that means members are more special just because they pay”. 

So let me make this crystal clear: I do not think that signing up for membership will make you more special in the eyes of the creator just because you paid for it. I believe that despite the membership, people are on equal footing in the eyes of the creator, regardless of the extra gratitude that members receive in the form of the channel member perks. Becoming a member does not make someone more valuable than the rest of the community, just the same as not becoming a member does not make someone less valuable than the rest of the community. Channel members should never be referred to as ‘true fans’ or ‘loyal fans’ just because we’re putting forward the cash to support our favorite creators, because as non-members, support can still be given simply by watching the video and spreading the word. 

Now, if anyone wants to twist those words, and if anyone wants to accuse me of some idiotic bullshit like that girl in the group chat did a few hours ago, to Hell with you. 

The purpose of the channel membership was to support Matthew in an alternative manner. We should have been trying our damnedest to support MatPat however we can; whether it be from watching the videos or signing up for the membership. But instead you all fulfilled your own prophecy of ‘this will put a rift in the community’ by acting as childish and behaving as selfishly as you all did today. 

So let’s support MatPat however we can. Which at the rate we’re going, is just by watching his videos because Channel Membership doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. Because of you. Because of everyone who said no for the most selfish reasons I’ve ever seen on the Internet: Because it’s unfair to me. The NO you guys gave out for a personal level issue? That affects GTLive on a community level issue. Now that’s selfish; it’s not signing up for the membership so perks can be doled out, it’s not the desire to stand out with a shiny channel badge. True selfishness lies in the people who want to silence and incapacitate everyone else, who want to clip everyone else’s wings, just because circumstance did not favor them.

That being said, I have one last thing to say. This is my favorite type of response from people: “I can’t afford the membership right now but I voted yes so that people who want to and people who can, have that opportunity. This isn’t just for me. It’s for everyone.” You guys are the real MVPs of this community, you deserve thousands of followers, and I hope that more people follow in your example.

~ Ally P.S. On the off chance that reading this has changed your mind on your vote in the survey, kindly go back and give a Yes; you can vote more than once. You don’t have to sign up if the feature gets enabled, but you would be doing a great kindness for the people who want to support him in this manner if you do…Thanks.

[johhhhhhnintheusa]

Curiosity

I think it's safe to say at this point that I am a massive nerd.

As such, one of my hopes was that I'd be able to go to a nerd convention while I'm in America.

I've been to a few in London and they're a lot of fun. Lots of people walking around in ridiculously intricate costumes, panels, markets and artists.

I actually volunteered at a convention last year, which was some of the best fun I've ever had. I'd say I enjoyed the volunteering more than actually going to the convention itself.

Either way, I'd kind of given up on being able to go to a convention here. They all seemed to be happening at times I wasn't in that area, or they were already full.

However, I did manage to go to Anime Expo right here in LA. I'm not the biggest purveyor of anime, but it was still a good time.

If nothing else, I got to play Guitar Hero for what I realised is probably the first time in ten years. Time has not been kind to my abilities.

I would also like to counter a myth. Some people maintain that nerds don't exercise. To those people, I say you have never seen one play Dance Dance Revolution. The guys playing at the convention were a blur of flailing legs, sometimes dancing over both the player one and two pads. They are almost always glistening with sweat afterwards.

Actually I'll counter another myth. People who say that exercise leads to weight loss also need to watch people play this game. Some of them are as big as they are graceful.

And they're pretty graceful.

Some of them.

Sometimes.

I spent an afternoon at the convention, in which time I started to consider why I enjoyed volunteering more than attending.

I think I just seem to derive enjoyment from other people having fun, particularly those I care about. For those reading this who attended my leaving drinks at work, that was probably a factor in why those sorts of things make me uncomfortable. I'm a support player, rather than the main event. I'm comfortable in that role and I like performing it.

While not the greatest segway in the world, another thing about myself is that I like to have seen both sides of a story. And I'm aware that sometimes I receive information skewed to a certain point of view.

Which brings me to the main topic of conversation. I am not a religious person. I don't begrudge people their religion but it's not something I feel I need in my life. I don't deny that it can be a positive force in people's lives, just as sometimes it can be destructive when utilized improperly.

The religion is almost never the problem, it's the people who practice it making it imperfect.

And there's no denying that religion can be tribal. Generally, a subscriber of one religion will believe in that religion and disavow all of the many others.

I'm staying in Hollywood, a place which happens to contain a Scientology building.

I don't believe I've ever met a Scientologist, so I decided to take the opportunity yesterday to go in and speak to some.

Oh yes, that's something I did.

I'm very conscious that the main things I've heard about Scientology are negative pieces in the media, stories about it being a cult, brainwashing, intimidating or following people. Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's sofa. And that one episode of South Park. I'm sure I'm not alone in that being my only exposure to it.

And I know that the very notion of me talking about Scientology in the same breath as religion may seem abhorrent to you. But like I said, religion is tribal.

At its core, nobody knows which religions are correct and which are just words. They could all be horseshit, one or some could be true, but they can't all be right.

And I feel it's naive at best to dismiss Scientology based solely on negative perception, considering some of the evil shit purveyors of more established religions have done.

Just to be clear, in case you're now frantically reading this to see how far down the rabbit hole I've fallen, I've not been converted. I'm still your lovable neighbourhood agnostic.

With that out of the way, I walked to the main desk. Everyone in the building is wearing a uniform; a black waistcoat and white shirt, with a monochrome tie. Everyone wears a name badge and a Scientology symbol pin. I tell the man at the desk that I'm here to ask a few questions about them.

He says this is a self-guided tour and directs me to the walls of the room. Each wall has a large TV in it with seating in front of it. Each TV plays several videos on subjects relating to what Scientologists believe, who L Ron Hubbard was etc.

In case you don't know, the core of their belief is that you aren't your body or your mind. You are a Thetan (pronounced THAY-TEN, apparently), essentially a soul.

Your brain just controls the rest of the body, and you control the brain. They believe the mind, which contains all your experiences and sensations, is separate to the brain, and that this travels with the Thetan.

They also believe that Thetans are immortal, and that when the body dies, the Thetan simply becomes another human, similar to ideas of reincarnation. So they also believe that you have the memories and experiences of all of your past lives, including all the pain and negativity.

Scientology is the process of making sure that this negativity is expunged from the mind, so that you can be happier, more productive etc. At least that's what they believe.

I decided not to bombard the host with questions, of which I had many, so I just quietly watched the videos for a while. But then out of nowhere, the host comes over and asks me why I'm here.

I tell him what I told you, that I was just curious to hear things from their perspective. This quickly leads to a barrage of questions from me about what I'd seen so far.

For example, one of the things they believe in is called the reactive mind. This is the part of the mind (again, not the brain) that collects every negative memory and unhelpfully plays this back to you.

The example they showed is one of someone getting sick eating a certain food one time because it was improperly prepared. Then when someone offers you the food again at another time, the mind plays back the sensations you experienced before and you feel nauseous despite not actually eating the food. That this is irrational and through Scientology can be removed.

I asked him if he thought the reactive mind was completely negative. He said yes. This didn't sit right with me, so I gave him an example.

I said that if someone, when younger, put their hand in a boiling pot of water, they would use the memory of that pain not to do it again in the future, and that to an extent that's how we learn.

The host replied that this is actually a facet of the analytical mind, rather than the reactive one. That this is ok.

I'm not entirely convinced by this explanation, since there are times we don't have time to analyse anything. The fight or flight response for example is instinctual, and has largely aided our survival as a species since the beginning. Negative memories would inform that as well.

Ug see tiger, then see Zub. Tiger eat Zub. No more Zub. Ug no go near tiger. Tiger bastard.

One of the more famous, alarming things people mention about Scientology is the whole...aliens crashing in a volcano thing. I didn't want to outright ask about that (for the record, nobody there talked about it, nor did any of the videos. I think they're trying to distance themselves from it) but I thought I'd ease into it.

So I asked him if Scientologists believe in evolution, since Thetans solely inhabit human bodies and humans weren't always as they are.

This leads us to one of the main tactics I encountered: instead of answering a question, directing you to read one of the books, or attend a course.

I asked him why he can't tell me the answer. He says one of their rules is that they can't verbalize what is in the books.

I pointed out that that seems to be what the videos I just watched were doing. I also said, gently, that this is one of the biggest problems people have. That it's all set up so you need to pay money to get answers.

Any time this is brought up, with anyone I spoke to, it provokes the same response: "just go the library and read it". Always the same inflection no matter who you ask.

I asked him why it's a rule that the answers can't be verbalized. He told me that to do so would be to dilute the message.

Essentially, they're worried about Chinese whispers. This...sounds reasonable in theory but also incredibly convenient.

For the record, I tried to discuss this with two people and both times it didn't go anywhere. Seemingly their role is to get you in the door and reading the material. They won't give you much other than vague platitudes about what the religion can do.

At this point, while I definitely have learned more about what they believe, I feel as if I'm hitting a brick wall in terms of what information I can glean from speaking to them.

The host, perhaps sensing my frustration, walks me over to a small grey device. It has a dial readout and attached to the device are two cylindrical handles connected to the main device with wire.

It's an e-meter. Until now, I believed this device was used daily to assist in expunging negative thoughts or feelings. And that the device measures the level of these feelings.

The host is very quick to correct me that it doesn't measure anything. It registers the negativity that you're thinking about.

He asks me to think of a time I've been stressed.

Naturally, as when anyone is asked a question like this, I'm not thinking about something stressful. I am literally thinking the phrase 'hmm, stressful situation, stressful situation. What's a stressful situation I can think about as this man just asked'.

But before I can consciously think about an actual situation, he jabs a finger at the dial and says 'there, what were you thinking about just now?'

I tell him that I haven't even started yet and he asks me to keep thinking. This happens two or three more times until we kind of give up. But essentially, the device doesn't actually do anything to remove negativity. You just need to think of it as a tool a Scientologist therapist uses to find negativity in you so they can remove it somehow. Again, very vague.

He is very insistent that I should go on the first course to learn more because I'm clearly interested. It's only 50 bucks he says.

Here we go.

I tell him I need to conserve money, which is true, and that I can't spare it. Then he tells me about a free personality and IQ test they can do in the building.

Immediately I'm sceptical, but I show interest. He brings me a form to fill in. It asks me for my full name, full address, number, email, age, so much information. I write my first name and my age and leave the rest blank.

He leaves to get a test officer ready for me.

[xluckytheninjax]

Watch Dogs {2} - An OC

Wondered whether Watch Dogs OCs are a thing.And they are - there aren’t a lot of ‘em,but eyyyy.Thus,I threw my OC in the Watch Dogs world.I mixed it with some altered Need For Speed Undercover backstory because why not.I am aware NFS:U doesn’t take place in SF,but it does take place in a fictional area near a beach with big skyscrapers so yeah,moved it to SF. I personally love NFS:U,because well,not even two minutes into the game and I already have at least 6 police cars on my tail.Along with that,some South African background cause well….that’s my homeland.Pretty great hellhole over here.

Have a drawing {Don’t repost/remove all this writing/claim as your own/you know the drill} and some random BS I wrote down playing WD 1 and 2 at like 11 PM/midnight/1 AM over the weekend.

I am ready for anything,anyone that wants to bitch about this or argue about stuff.

This is obviously OC stuff,so if you dislike it,feel free to go look for another post or blog or whatever the hell you want to do.

I used a reference for the ‘pose’ {I wouldn’t call this a full-on pose,but -shrugs-}

Name ‘n’ surname: Kayla Horizon

Screenname/Hacker alias: N1nJ4 {Ninja}

Nicknames: Ninja,Kay,Lucky,Ghost

Age: 23 years old

Gender: Female,of course

Personality:

Stubborn

Cares a lot for her family,friends and workpals {who’re also friends}

Loyal to DedSec

Not easily influenced 

Quiet

Overthinks everything

Sarcastic

Not easily intimidated {Or so she claims}

Happy with what her life is,even between all the stress and overthinking.

Has some trust issues.The type where she gets this feeling in her gut telling her whether a person can be trusted or not.She trusted her workpals immediately,she trusted Ray immediately…as an example of who she didn’t trust,Horatio’s co-worker.And she wasn’t even on that mission.

Usually keeps things that wouldn’t be important to the current objective(s)/mission(s) to herself

It’s a good thing her face is blurred out like the others’,cause she’s camera shy.She hates getting photos taken of her,she hates looking at the camera…unless of course,she’s the one taking a photo of scenery or of friends.If you’re gonna point a camera of any sort to her face,she will not hesitate to break it.

Very protective over the things and people she cares about.So,you wreck her car? You insult DedSec or target her pals? You mess with Sitara’s artwork? You kidnap other DedSec members? Mess with DedSec’s systems? You mess with her dog or drag her family into things you shouldn’t?  You better start running then,pal.And make it fast.

Trained herself to not cry in front of people.It’s harder than it looks.Anger also gets bottled up.One day she’ll snap….probably.Then all chaos and hell will break loose.

Loses a lot of sleep thinking

Stresses over nothing

Introvert

Reckons anything can be solved by an asskicking

Takes her job seriously,but,in between she likes messing with people

Claims she doesn’t care,but she cares too much

Honesty,loyalty,respect and trust are big things to her.As explained before,she follows her gut on who to trust and who not.If you’re gonna betray DedSec,you might end up dead.Everybody lies,it’s human nature,but that’s where trust and loyalty comes in with honesty.The three walk hand in hand,really.Respect? You respect her,she respects you,as easy as that.

Might seem really confident,and she really does seem to be that way,but in reality,her self-esteem is pathetic

-Because she keeps a lot of things to herself,a lot of her personality remains a mystery.

{At least half of these are some of my personality traits}

Working for: DedSec,what did you expect? She was going to go work for those dumbass monkeys,or the rat cult? Pff,nah.

Hair color: Original hair color is dirty blonde Currently ombre:Brown - Dirty blonde - Blonde

Hair style: Long hair,shaved shorter on the right side.Leaving it loose or tying it in a ponytail or something depends on how she’s feeling,and whether it’s mission time or not.Can’t work if you’ve got hair in your face.

Eye color: “Not every day you see someone with heterochromia.” Left eye is blue,right eye is green

{My persona’s had this since she got created a million years back so obviously,no matter what universe she’s in,she’s always gonna have that.}

Height: 5'11

Piercings/Tattoos:

A lot of ear piercings on both sides,and a tongue piercing

A bunch of stars on her left wrist,a small 'x’ on top of her right wrist,and a ’=D’ on her back {right shoulder}

Scars and other skin-related things:

Huge scar through her left eye,and a small one through her lip on the right.There are some other faint scars here and there,nothing too major though.

Lots of freckles

Any other dayjob?: Works at a huge gaming store on some days {Every second day except for weekends}.It’s just a temporary job for now.She ended up applying for some programming job,like her parents wanted.Just waiting to hear back.

Romance?: Single,no crushes or anything of the sort. “Had to leave everyone behind since we moved here….went to uni,didn’t find anyone that’s my type…and some things that happened in the past leave me in this state where I am against romance I guess? Not like an abusive relationship or heartbreak or anything like that…just things I’m not gonna talk about.”

Cars:

 -Personal car is the Ford Ranger truck she got ported in from home. It’s white with black decals and raptor kit.The thing’s a beast.

{Hope to drive one of these some day}

-Other car she keeps in the garage is the Lotus Elise she used to streetrace with.Purple with a white stripe down the middle.This thing is upgraded to the max {of course what garages can do,plus some things only a hacker can pull off}.Best part is,it doesn’t look like it belongs on the /shittycarmods subreddit.

{My NFS:U car on both PC and Playstation}

-During the day,while on missions,she has some randomass car/truck/four wheeler/motorbike she 'borrows’ or the one car she’s been putting some DedSec decals on {Sitara’s design,of course}….Then there’s the DedSec police cruiser too.

{While playing I prefer chopper bikes,the DedSec police cruiser,this car that looks like a Mustang and the movie car the bunch stole}

Pets: She has a Great Dane named Trompie.Her parents watch the dog during the day {or night depending on missions} and if she has to stay at the Hackerspace/work on missions all day,she takes him along.He behaves,and doesn’t annoy anyone…unless he sits on the couch.He’s got his own little space,with food,water and a blanket to sit on,plus newspapers.Even got toys.He’s 7 months old,and like his owner,he has heterochromia.The name’s Afrikaans,since well,can’t forget your roots,can ya? Wears a DedSec bandana over his collar.Pretty smart,but he has a thing for chasing after the drones and little RC rovers.Was not a big fan of Wrench Jr.

It took a few weeks for Wrench to get used to the dog.He didn’t even notice it until it was lazing on the couch next to Mickey while she was working.It was a scene to experience.

He doesn’t go along on missions for obvious reasons {Micks doesn’t want him to get hurt/killed…and she’s pretty sure he’d be in the way…or set off an explosive or something}.

{-shrugs- One of the best parts of Watch Dogs 2 is being able to pet the dogs.}

Some history: Born South African,moved to San Francisco.Parents also in SF,while sister moved to South Korea with a friend.Been living there for 5 years.Hacking’s been a big hobby since she was younger.She kept it a secret from her parents,to avoid being lectured and banned from her computer.Big gamer since she was a teenager.Became an intern at a police station while still at university.It doesn’t make sense why an IT student would decide on working at a police station,but eyyy,whatever.Got promoted for solving some huge computer related cases through hacking.Two years back she was called to investigate something not even closely related to hacking computers.They reckoned she would be able to handle it.Went undercover.Had to take on dangerous 'jobs’ and compete in races in order to infiltrate and take down a ruthless international crime smuggling syndicate, consisting of illegal street racers and car thieves.She ended up leaving her temporary job because of the amount of times the police chased after her for street racing,resisting arrest and all the property damage.Y'know,going too deep undercover.Wrecked a lot of cars,got rid of a lot of thugs,hacked a lot cameras,streetlights and other things to finish her job and to get away.After that was over,she made sure to erase all of that off her profile on the ctOS database.Had to do a lot of things,a lot of dangerous things,to get noticed by DedSec,and eventually got in.It wasn’t really necesary that she put her life in danger like that,but she did anyway.Go big or go home…I won’t go much into detail about that because I haven’t thought as far.

{This mess….I’ll fix eventually.It’s random,it doesn’t make sense,it isn’t how real life works,but whatever.}

Clothing {aka rambles about clothes}:

Has a variety of beanies,snapbacks and caps

Has one pair of sunglasses,aviators,as the rest got broken

She wears glasses,unless out on missions

Has a lot of t-shirts and hoodies

Has a fair amount of long sleeved shirts

Has a lot of jeans,shorts and sweatpants

Owns a few pairs of sneakers and track-shoes,and two pairs of combat boots

Has a few bandannas/masks

Has literally one fancy shirt she wears with a vest,bowtie,black pants and sneakers

Went to Swelter Skelter as some sort of glow in the dark Matryoshka-fied skeleton

Doesn’t wear any jewelry apart from her piercings and some random bracelets

Carries a shoulder bag which is clearly bigger on the inside {otherwise,how would you fit a laptop,drone,RC rover,and some other stuff in there?} With some badges and Dedsec decals

Hoodies are 60% of the time oversized

PJs are a random t-shirt and boardshorts {Onesie in the winter over that}

Has a hoodie that says 'Ghost’ and '07’ on the back {Aka my favorite Mystery skulls song and lucky number}

Random shiz: And this is the part where those who hate self-insert but still decided on reading should go to another post.This is where stuff gets worse {Not angsty worse…Just more self-inserty}.This is also where stuff starts making less and less sense since this is where I went sleep-deprived mode {1AM-2AM writing hour}

Main hangout is the main Hackerspace from the game.Second being the Silicon Valley one.

Has gone on some missions with Marcus {the ones where multiple things need to be done or where it’s going to take more than one person to do,but it’s only one thing that needs to be stolen/hacked}.

When looked at with the profiler her profile says

ctOS.exe has stopped responding

Memes 'n Dreams

How 'bout nah

Also does the parkouring,climbing high buildings and messing with cranes

Likes the skeleton Dedsec paint on her cars/motorbikes

Almost shot Lenni quite a few times -  too many witnesses stopped her from doing so

Finds it entertaining to help Wrench {he’s a really amusing guy to be around,alright?}

Graffiti is great

Reckons a 'Josh protection squad’ should be made {Don’t harass him,pls}

Went on a mini murder and cop-calling spree after the Tezcas killed Horatio.Also caused a lot of fights between gangs to try wiping them out

Sees Ray as some sort of cool hippie uncle

Doesn’t smoke but always has a lighter to set stuff on fire if needed

Named her drone and rover she printed.Harvey for the rover and Zippy for the drone.Why,you might ask? Why not? Their names are painted on the sides of them. 

“There’s another reason I get called Ninja.It’s not just the screenname.“

Sneaking/Stealth skill +100

Parkour skill +90

Agility +87

Speed +85

Martial arts and self defence +90

Even with skill,she’s really damn clumsy

Is sometimes going out on missions instead of Marcus,if Marcus needs to rest or recover.Goes on own little side missions as well

"First day on the damn job and I get my hoodie stolen by my workpal.”

When out on missions during the day,she wears a range of shirts/hoodies.On nightly missions she wears all black.

Weapons of choice are:

*Stungun

*SVD/other snipers {Including the Stun sniper}

*Shotguns

*Baseball bat

*Knives,especially flip knives

When hanging out at the Hackerspace {with nothing else to do} she’s sitting with her laptop or working on a PC.Either hacking,working stuff out,or searching useful stuff.

Her phone has a little charm hanging on the side.It’s a mini Deadpool logo

Always there to lend a hand

While she has told the others about the street racing stuff after first joining,she literally never talked about it again, hoping they’d forget

Isn’t one for cursing too much,but in some situations it’s needed to calm a person down…will not hesitate to swear in another language.

Fingerguns

Doesn’t drink coffee or tea,or hot chocolate.She drinks soda,lots of water,energy drinks from time to time {very seldom} and that’s about it.

Pepsi lover

Always carries one of her flip knives with her.

Hates alcohol,smoking and drugs.Thus,she doesn’t drink at all,she has never smoked,never done drugs or vaping or anything of the sort.

Never reveals location of her house or her parents’. Usually kills the cameras temporarily in the area when she’s driving home.

Night owl/always exhausted pigeon

Summer/Autumn person

Likes fire and setting things on fire {Do you know how great it is to set gangs’ supplies ablaze just to spite them?}

Also a fan of explosives.Don’t give her any though….she’ll probably blow stuff up she’s not supposed to.

Not that good a swimmer.She can swim well enough to keep herself from sinking,but she ain’t no olympic medallist.

Likes camping

Probably became part of the team a bit before our boy Marcus.A few weeks before,probably. {-dives behind barricade-}

Dislikes needles of any sorts….and thus,not a big fan of hospitals

References to movies/games/songs and puns 100%

Loves animals,and pets every single dog she can

Doesn’t have the cleanest resume.Street racing,property damage,murder,hacking,breaking into private property,stealing {data,high-tech weapons,etc},car theft,resisting arrest,the list goes on.

Wishes grappling hooks were actually a thing {simlar to those of JC3 or spy movies}

Loves Deadpool

Always has earphones in the ears if not listening to others talk or on missions,and still hears everything she’s supposed to around her. {I own this skill,so it ain’t impossible}

Loving the zombie apocalypse/post apocalyptic stuff

Loves drawing,that’s why graffiti is also great

While she dresses like a hipster/geek {with some badass Dedsec stuff in between} most of the time,she’s an emo/punk soul.

Can’t dance to save her life

Reckons that her haircut is shit,and that it’s the product from getting drunk with friends.Thus,the hate for alcohol grows stronger

Likes Vaperwave and Retrowave stuff

Avoids clubs of any sort

Mosquito magnet

Can program and reprogram a lot of things,such as robots,drones,hell,if she tries hard enough she might be able to do the same to cars,but building/rebuilding/re-engineering things…that’s difficult.The only building related skill she has is upgrading and modding her drone and RC rover,along with fixing up/upgrading/modding cars.

Learned a lot about cars while undercover.

Did some graffiti work for Sitara.Got a badass galaxy DedSec design on the side of some building.

Was very disturbed when that whole thing with the DedSec parody and strip club owner went down.Almost had a heart attack when Marcus told the bunch that the Bratva threw him in the trunk of a car that’s in the process of being crushed.

{My actual reaction to the No Compromise DLC}

When threatening people {Bad people,'course} she likes saying that she’s going to snap the person like a stick

House isn’t as big a mess as one would think {Compared to Ray’s old place/the silo and the motel room where Aiden lived before it got blown up}.The hacking related things,such as her computer,laptop,at least nine monitors,a ton of harddrives,etc,are in her room,and there’s no sign of anything of the sort outside of that.

Parents still oblivious,still don’t know she’s a hacker,still don’t know about her street racing ways.She prefers it that way….that’s why nobody sees the garage or bedroom.

Not a fan of attention,would rather keep a low profile and let her workpals get the fame.But of course,when there’s some bad stuff on DedSec,she won’t be afraid to show off her opinion and stick with the others

It’s great being sometimes-partners with Marcus

It’s also great going off on missions on your own

“Screw you,you son of a bitch.”

*Proceeds to flip person off as it’s the worst she’ll do before it switches to violence and knife threats*

“Viva La Resistance/Rebellion” in a really bad French accent

“You see this knife? It’s my knife. What I’m gonna do with it? Shove it down your throat if you don’t shut the hell up.”

“The name’s Dead Inside.How ya doin’?”

“You look like a terrorist.”

“I promise you,I am NOT a terrorist.”

“What are you then?”

“A ninja.”

“Are you some kind of weirdass goth person?”

“Nin-ja.”

She has abandonment issues,that’s why she prefers doing missions solo.Means she can’t lose anyone while on missions or get betrayed/left behind.

{Hm,guess who has those}

[ladyloveandjustice]

The Great Ace Attorney Replay: Apollo Justice, Case 4 Part 1

Dramatic stuff happened in Ace Attorney and now I'm seven years before the game is set playing as Phoenix in the trial where he got disbarred. It's nice and familiar to be him again even if I know I'm destined to lose.

"They say the new prosecutor is the best ever but there's like one of those every year" haha that's true. Phoenix is so jaded but so correct. Literally every prosecutor introduced in each new game is supposed to be the best prosecutor ever.

u know if Maya was here I am positive this whole thing would have been avoided

she would have been like "Nick maybe lets not assume evidence some random child hands us is real"

or "Nick it's sort of fishy our client is telling us it will be impossible to declare a verdict. like that's kinda weird"

THIS IS WHY MAYA SHOULD NEVER LEAVE.

awww i forgot we got to see Gumshoe in this flashback. i missed u. where have u gone.

"Today's the day, pal! I'm gonna win and you're gonna lose!" Well. he's not wrong.

they even switched back to the music from last game for this trial. so retro.

I have to show this evidence even though I know it's fake. but the most amazing thing is they give you a option NOT to show the evidence...and you can click it...then Phoenix shows it anyway. OKAY THEN.

i'm gonna show them my attorney's badge instead of this fake evidence

shockingly this did not work. Phoenix is doomed.

We lost our badge. AND NOW WE'RE IN THE INTERNET. this part is so weird it's like Phoenix is talking directly at the player but if i recall correctly he's actually talking to the jurors. who i guess get to investigate the case using some futuristic technostuff??? who knows.

"And when all the questions have found their answers... ...the final trial will begin. But first, you must chase the truth through then and now. Think of it... as a game." GET IT. SO META.

I'm Phoenix again but i don't have my attorney's badge in the court record anymoooore. NOW WHAT WILL I SHOW PEOPLE. Life has no more meaning.

oh jesus christ it's mike meekins i forgot he was in this part too He doesn't even remember Phoenix? it was literally two years ago. ok. Apparently he's been demoted somehow and is bailiff. Phoenix doesn't care enough to find out what happened.

ok never mind he did ask. he lost his case files three times in four days and they fired him. but he's still wearing his police officers uniform. illegally.

"You know, I think this is the lobby I was in for my very first case. This plant has seen be grow from a rookie, to an ace....to a has-been. I hate you, plant. ...Just kidding." Phoenix. sweetie.I'm sure the plant isn't offended.

"I've seen this painting a bunch of times. I guess I never really looked at it because my head was so stuck in trials. I never had time to stop and appreciate art. I have time now. Ok. Let's appreciate. ....it's pretty lame." PHOENIX. PLEASE. his inner monologue right now is bitter depression central, omg. (this is even more hilarious when you remember he was an art major)

as much as i'm enjoying the Phoenix Wright depression show i should probably go to bed. ttyl!

luci: reading these

i believe in phoenix. maybe he wont lose this time if i believe

Me: ace attorney again. going back to Phoenix's office seven yrs in the past before he just gave up and let it become a complete disaster area.

The whole story with Trucy is just so sad but also really sweet on Phoenix's part. Basically he met her during the trial where he got disbarred because she was his clients daughter. She was also the person who unwittingly gave him the forged evidence- she was like eight and someone else told her to deliver it. But anyway, when Phoenix was framed for forging evidence, her dad just...literally vanished in the middle of court (he was also a magician) and abandoned her with Phoenix.

so now I'm at the office and she's just been staying with Phoenix I guess and he's calling around and finds out she has no living relatives. So he's like "well, you can live with me if you want. Of course if you don't like it we can find somewhere else."

Like how many people would just automatically adopt a random child who was left with them by someone who completely screwed them over. Especially if that child inadvertently cost them their job. But Phoenix doesn't have any resentment about it and realizes she's been abandoned way worse than he has and needs someone and is just like "GUESS I HAVE A CHILD NOW" it's so cute.

Trucy: "So you'll be my family now?" 

Phoenix: "Yeah I guess. (This is so weird)."

 Trucy: "What should I call you" 

Phoenix: Oh. uh. You can call me Nick. I mean, if you ever wanted to, I'm fine with you calling me dad, I mean obviously you don't have to do that right now or anything..."

Trucy: "Okay, daddy!" 

Phoenix: Wow, that was quick.

then

Trucy: You got fired from work, right, Daddy? Don't worry, I'll work twice as hard. We'll make it through this. 

Phoenix: ...how old are you again, Trucy?

 Trucy: I'm eight! But don't let appearances deceive you. I'm a young professional. Stick with me and you'll do just fine, Daddy! 

Phoenix: Ah. Thanks. (Why do I feel like she's already in charge?)

I love them so much they're so cute.

luci:*reading scrollback*

that sounds cute

id make a reference to the presige but i didnt understand that movie at all

awww

can phoenix adopt me too

Caitlin: there was actually a case in game 6 that was just like the prestige

he seems to at least unofficially adopt everyone younger than him he meets so there's a good possibility he would if he met you

ok time to examine my office again

"My mentor's favorite plant, Charley. I guess watering Charley's my only real job now. WAIT I HAVE A CHILD NOW. SHE'LL PROBABLY NEED MORE THAN WATERING".

awwww so there's that poster in the office and for the last three games he always says something like "this was Mia's favorite movie. apparently it was the first one that made her cry. I'll have to see it sometime."

but now it's "I finally saw that movie after the longest time the other day. Cried my eyes out. " Of course u did.

"...just remembering it is making me tear up right now. ...maybe I should show it to Trucy when she's older.Wait...what was it called again?" too relatable.

luci:  omg this is too cute

"My desk. Not that I have any reason to sit there anymore. Trucy can use it for her homework I guess... Ack! I'm not crying! Just got dust in my eye!" THIS IS SO SAD. SOMEONE GIVE PHOENIX A HUG. MAYA WHERE ARE YOU.

"I actually don't know much about anything besides law. or even much about law, if you ask some people." omg phoenix. i mean u did literally just admit you never read any of these law books.

luci: ffs phoenix

theyre only 3 pages each

[tumblunni]

Just started playing Princess Maker 1! its so surreal that we finally got an english translation of this like a decade after it was released, and way after the PM2 translation??

Mostly its kinda... ehhh. Its only interesting to a fan who wants to see what changed, its just 100% worse than PM2 in all ways. Unlike PM3/4/5, PM1 isnt like a different story or a new gameplay gimmick or anything, PM2 is almost literally an improved remake of a buggy game. I mean.. you have a different child character but the backstory is almost exactly the same even! And the gameplay and interface are sometimes almost unplayably awkward compared to PM2. ALSO JUST NO JUST NO There is a LOT of outright full-frontal nipnops for NO REASON. Its not even like it makes sense or anything, its just ‘hey 25% of all vacation images are goddamn pron and you’re playing the creepy lolicon roulette every time’. Same for random enemies being naked :P At least in PM2 the pervy fanservice nonsense was optional! So I’m probably only gonna play this once and then delete it forever and stick to PM2. I’m glad they changed the stuff they changed...

ANYWAY! Fun differences that are less frustratingbad! I tried to take screenies of em! The interface is way more minimal than PM2, with lots of stuff being crammed together in the same option. Its neat that you can click and drag the text boxes around, this was something that wasnt in PM2. (But was in PM3 and PM5 if i recall?) Its a bit annoying though that sometimes it is NECESSARY since the default text position covers up the damn interface. Everything is so cramped!!

Talking to your daughter is Weird, its pretty much 100% useless. Well, worse than useless, it can screw you over! Its a 50/50 chance that when you praise her she’ll either lose stress or lose STATS. Specifically the stats that determine stress in the first place! Since they have different names to PM2 I didnt realise my ‘spirit’ stat was basically consititution and I got it down to 0 by being too nice to my adopted daughter :P I guess maybe its cos she’s spoiled she becomes less able to handle stress...?

You dont collect new outfits at all, you just have four outfits to choose from right from the start. There doesnt seem to be any actual benefit to wearing particular clothes during the right seasons. And they all change in design every year, so its fun to click through them even if there’s no real point to it. The glamour/elegance boosting dresses are just consumeable items instead, you can buy multiple of them and they dissappear once you use them. IS SHE EATING THE DRESS??

The feature you get from talking to your daughter in PM2 is actually talking to the townsfolk in PM1. They tell you what she’s good and bad at, instead of her having voiced dialogue saying it directly to you.

Other misc stuff I’ve noticed but didnt catch a screenshot of:

I actually do quite like the one difference between the backstory in PM1 and PM2. In PM2 after saving the kingdom your knight dad character gets blessed with an angel child by the gods, in PM1 he just adopts a normal child. Its kinda more heartwarming that way, he just weeps at how many orphans were created by this war and decides to retire from knightdom and open an orphanage. It might be just one scene, but it gives the dad much more personality than the one in later games. ^_^

Winning the harvest festival gives you no prize money at all??? Its a bit more fun tho cos there’s a beauty contest where you can bribe the judges.

Its nice that the game still keeps running when you switch to another window, PM2 didnt have that. But in PM2 doing jobs has a cute animation and there’s a skip function, so you dont really need to flip to a browser while some long text scroll plays out :P

Being sick completely destroys you, you get a huge loss of EVERY STAT and have to sit through the full annoying animation of resting three times even though you dont have any stress left to recover. You just cant do anything else!

There also doesnt seem to be any way to recover from turning troublemaker and i have no idea what caused it?? Sitting here with no stress and she suddenly hates me. And it affects nothing, she still succeeds fine at work. Speaking of which, work failure seems to be random instead of related to high stress or stat levels???

its not just me,right? the weapon shop grumpy grandpa is really cute what a sweet man wish I could hug him! he’s also like The Best job, cos even though the stat he boosts is rather specific and lame he’s the only one that doesnt decrease another stat at the same time while also giving reasonably decent wages and having a low failure rate! hooray for mr gremp!

Oh, speaking of which! Battle stats work completely differently and are CONFUSING. No matter what i try, I’m still oneshotted by the weakest enemy in errantry :P You have this ‘exp’ stat instead of attack/defense/skill like in PM2, but even when you level up it doesnt seem to affect anything...

Oh, and all the jobs give different stats compared to other PM games, which is confusing. Innwork raises stamina, instead of farming (which is called lumberjack this time, rather than them being separate) And weapon shop raises that confusing EXP, and every job gives very low money with no way of gaining money from winning the festival, so the high priced sleazy bar job is way more tempting. We’re talking everyone else gives 50g or 100g a week and this one gives you 500g or more all at once! But its just so much more gross to do the ‘bad job that loses stats’ this time, since its heavily implied to be prostitution instead of just working at a bar. And this game is so much more pervy, gahhhh... But then you just get delinquent and sick for NO CONCEIVEABLE REASON, and being sick drops your stats practically to 0, and its so impossible to play this damn game that WHATEVER im gonna treat my daughter awful just so i don’t lose! >_< GAHHHHHH Its turning into like ‘the how to justify child labor slavery game’ :P

I dunno, maybe the game does still have a sin/karma stat but its hidden?? for some reason suddenly i cannot gain Morale points anymore, at all?? its SO CONFUSINGGGGGGGG the interface is SO CROWDED there’s no word wrapping! I DONT KNOW WHAT ANYTHING DOESSSSSS

the talking to the castle court thing is more like the badges in pokemon?? every single time you have to talk to everybody, you dont get to choose you just unlock more and more people as your elegance levels up

aaaaaand somehow my blundering through the game actually got a good ending?? O_O The duchess ending actually has a really interesting bit of epilogue! Your daughter wins her way into high society by sheer force of awesomeness, even though she was but a humble orphan. Its like the cinderella story but with a really badass sort of feminist twist! Yeah, your happy ending is marrying this dude, but its said that YOU saved HIM. Not by being a big masculine hero, but using the traditionally feminine marriage skills that you’ve been training throughout the whole game. Instead of just sitting around waiting for someone to whisk you off your feet because you’re beautiful and innocent, you meet a disgraced noble whose family has become poor, and after you marry him for love rather than nobility, your badass awesomeness actually rescues the family from bankrupcy! You act as super accountant and reestablish his noble reputation with your silver tongue, and singlehandedly restore the princess title all by yourself while your husband is all ‘omg i love my power wife’ It reminds me of Virion’s marriage endings in FE Awakening! So yeah, way better ending than just ‘you talk to the prince once a month for the whole game and then become a princess’, like im PM2.

[andrewuttaro]

Feature: Breakup Revisited

What does it mean to be a fan of a Sports team? How does one breakup with their team? Two years ago I asked these questions in a prolonged blog of grievance. I started with an analysis of fan loyalty I thought was pretty thoughtful at the time before launching off into a diatribe about the awful year of 2017 American Soccer had and New York City Football Club. Quite a bit has changed since then and well I don’t feel inclined to get back with my Ex I think what I wrote is worth revisiting.

Fans and their loyalty

What it means to support a sports team comes down to loyalty. Or at least that’s the first core principle I underlined in my original diatribe. Loyalty in fact works in a few different ways. While we do shun folks we believe are bandwagon fans, unless your parents raised you from childhood in the lore of your team everyone starts out as a bandwagoner. For those of us who are not bred into supporting a team our loyalty is founded on something or someone we’re being loyal to. My family is a great example of this. We grew up solidly in Buffalo Bills territory, but we weren’t indoctrinated as children. My father was a Kansas City Chiefs fan going back to the late 1960s and my mom supported the Indianapolis Colts then the Denver Broncos because she loved Peyton Manning. For us supporting each of those clubs was allegiance originally founded by loyalty to a player or a set of memories associated with a club. When it’s not loyalty to a club you were raised to support it’s loyalty to a person within a club or a set of memories associated with that club.

Then of course there is comradery. In the example of my family my dad didn’t seek out other Chiefs fans locally as much as he looked for other NFL fans to talk about the Chiefs with. My uncle supports the Oakland… Las Vegas Raiders? …never mind, we’ll come back to that. My dad loved pitting his Chiefs against his cousin’s Raiders. That was the fun they had with it. That was the comradery that sports gave them. This is a different comradery then the kind that pulls dozens or hundreds of American Liverpool supporters into bars and pubs to cheer on a team on another continent. For them the comradery is very much about coming together as fans sharing a team. That kind of comradery is why Buffalo Bills fans sing in the midst of the snowstorm games: it’s everyone together supporting the same team. It’s something of a campfire experience. The differences between these two kinds of comradery do exist and have cultural roots but for the way they affect the underlying loyalty they’re not really important here.

This section in my original breakup had one more point: representation. This is where I think the cultural roots and the distinction between kinds of comradery do become important. Let’s go back to the example of my dad. He loves Buffalo Wings. Whenever he visits me in Buffalo he looks for a place to eat Buffalo Wings. He has said to me that he likes that Buffalo is associated with Buffalo Wings more than he likes that Rochester, New York, the City he grew up in, is associated with this dish we call the Garbage Plate. Take that how you will but it’s an interesting example of representation, in this case concerning food. Pretend those two foods are sports teams (like the local baseball affiliates actually did recently) and you have my dad yearning to be a fan of the team an hour down the road over his hometown. If that were the case would we consider him a bandwagoner who betrayed his home team? While the easy answer is Yes I’ve learned since the original blog post here that there is a strong case for No.

My dad feels Buffalo Wings more closely emulate his food tastes, therefore his preference for Wings over Garbage Plates arise. To be fair my dad can throw back a Garbage Plate like nobody’s business but he’s not a disloyal turncoat for preferring Buffalo Wings. Now I realize the metaphor breaks down a little bit when you consider sports teams literally need your money to survive and foods rarely go extinct. We’re blessed in these United States of America to have access to a wide range of top-level sports; more so than any other single nation on earth. We have top level athletes and organizations in all of Basketball, American Football, Baseball and Hockey to just name the most obvious. That’s a unique situation that allowed my dad to support the far-away Kansas City Chiefs back in the 1970s without being chastised by his local peers. This North American uniqueness in sports and the financial dependence of sports teams on their fans places the matter of representation squarely in the hands of the consumers in these parts. As a sports team you craft what your unique taste is. Often that taste involves flavors of the local; but if you grow big enough you’ll inevitably turn into a buffet with fans from far and wide coming to fill up. Even in Europe where Soccer has long been king of the hill there are the super-teams that have managed to grow into sprawling international buffets: Juventus, Bayern Munich, Manchester United, Barcelona and yes: Liverpool.

Every sports team dreams of growing to be a buffet that represents I diverse group of people if not for any other reason than to get all their money. The decision always remains in the hands of the consumer when it comes to this growth. Representation, or the degree to which a sports team truly represents you, is up to you. In the age of the internet it’s super easy to try out other tastes. I think some of the angst in my original piece was anger directed at NYCFC and or MLS because I didn’t quite grasp that the Rochester Rhinos are my soccer taste regardless of the fact they are based in the City I was born in. I couldn’t separate those two facts and now I can. The Rhinos are my visual aesthetic on top of historically being in the Top Ten greatest sports underdog stories of all-time. I liked the Rhinos deep down with or without the Rochester part. That’s the deeper reality of the representation point. I’ve also found comradery with other Rhinos fans as well as harboring a real sense of loyalty moored in both being raised on that team and really loving Jochen Graf absolutely chip the ever-loving daylights out of goalkeepers the USL over. Call me cocky but I think I’ve figured out the dynamics of fans and their loyalty a whole lot more since my first sports team Breakup.

Branding: Franchise Issues

That said, NYCFC can still pipe down. I don’t need Nazi-loving smurfs downstate telling me what good soccer is. Five Boroughs this Five Boroughs that, we’re the team that actually plays in New York City. All that crap can disappear right out of my life for all I care. Another part of the original Breakup piece was loosely connected to the representation piece we already discussed. In this case regional rivalry comes into play. Part of what fueled my breakup with NYCFC was something everyone born and raised in this State north of Yonkers can relate to: hating New York City. The joke is when you tell someone from out-of-state you’re from New York they immediately think of Midtown Manhattan. I am not from Midtown Manhattan. I don’t know the difference between Soho and Greenwich Village. I grew up in the Finger Lakes where you’re probably closer to an epic hike than a slice of New York style pizza.

Of course the regionalism in New York State is more than Pizza and Wine, it’s politics, taxes and government. Those palpable differences always made my feelings for NYCFC kinda awkward. Regionalism isn’t the sole reason we broke up but when that club hammered home at every available turn that they cared about the five boroughs of NYC and those five boroughs alone it made me feel a lot less guilty pulling the trigger on the breakup. It’s funny because there were moments following NYCFC felt really authentic. Somethings about the branding didn’t piss me off. The logo in particular is flatly appealing to me. My late grandfather was a very avid New York Yankees fan after growing up in Connecticut. Being exposed to that logo so much as a child may have predisposed me to the way NYCFC put together their badge.

But I don’t need to get into my childhood psychology to nail down why I don’t regret breaking up with NYCFC. In the two years since my breakup they’ve continued to lose in the early rounds of the playoffs and fail to look like anything more than a colony franchise for Manchester City. Those are the competitive realities. The supporter realities are that long before Major League Soccer was cracking down on anti-fascist signage NYCFC was failing to kickout neo-Nazis and their evil chants. That shit is unforgivable. For how long this section was in the original piece I guess the branding issues that pissed me off originally are a foregone conclusion now. Every discussion of soccer in this state has an acute chance of going into the inauthenticity of the two Major League Soccer teams downstate these days. Look at that! I was ahead of the curve!

Aloof: League Issues

Unlike my resolve against NYCFC only becoming firmer since the breakup, my feelings on Major League Soccer are still very conflicted. To say the Rochester Rhinos are in the desperate straits they are now just because the MLS of 2006 decided to play hard ball with owners who were in over their heads financially is a half-truth. Yes, when you spoon feed your supporters MLS berth as an inevitability for a decade then they’re going to be pissed when it doesn’t happen. That miss will always sting. But those owners were in fact in over their heads financially. History is pretty clear on that. In spite of what some may tell you Rob Clark coming along didn’t revitalize the organization. The Rhinos didn’t fall to where they are today because they weren’t fun to watch. Save for 2011 they were in championship form pretty much non-stop. If the Rhinos don’t survive long enough for my kids to be fans as well they’ll always live on as the best professional soccer team in American history to me.

Nonetheless I think Don Garber and the folks who have been running Major League Soccer since the late 90s are guilty of jealousy and being downright uncreative. The jealousy of the National Football League, a league whose owners also own several MLS franchises, has caused the league to have a single-minded focus on a model that works a whole lot better when you’re the only game in town. The NFL has all the best American Football talent and its not even close. NFL is one of the most profitable entertainment products in the world in no small part because of that monopoly on talent. Except for four franchises whom are all being attended to by the Shield, an NFL franchise is guaranteed money. Not a single MLS franchise is making nearly NFL money. We can talk about growth trajectories and demographic shifts all day, but I don’t have an MBA and I don’t do well debating numbers.

MLS has created an environment in soccer in this country where what happened to the Rhinos is the standard. Let me tell you, that shit sucked, even from a distance. If you’re lucky enough to be a top 50 growth market population wise that may work well for you but over the next two years we’ll watch St. Louis FC, a USL club with a whole culture and history unto itself gets buried underneath an avalanche of plastic, ready-made MLS branding that will be viewed as superior by the American consumer just because it’s MLS. Sacramento too. If you’re a soccer team outside of the desirous gaze of MLS in this country your days are numbered unless you’re a two side and in that case what the hell are you really? It all feels very plastic and that’s before we even talk about how even the better MLS organizations still need to speak out of two sides of their mouth because of the ever-present neo-conservative thought police running the league. If MLS isn’t ruining authentic American Soccer than it is certainly making it work hard to keep breathing.

The MLS is uncreative. I believe that. But: I love soccer too much to climb into a hole and ignore the domestic topflight trying to give a shit about the UEFA Champions League. I’m trying really hard to get interested in English Premier League right now but no amount of Christian Pulisic is going to make me care more about the EPL or Serie A or Bundesliga or the friggin Barcelona-Real Madrid La Liga than what’s going on domestically. The MLS product is as exciting as a middle-of-the-road coaches’ challenge in the National Hockey League. That’s mildly rousing at best if you’re not familiar with the hockey reference. MLS is trying so hard to be NFL and appeasing plutocrats with tax incentives that it would never dream of using one of the things that makes the sport of soccer unique: promotion and relegation, to make its plastic ass summer league vastly more interesting! While I don’t think the Save the Crew situation that prompted a lot of this section in my original breakup article is truly a matter of social justice like some Pro/Rel diehards would have you believe, that wrapping up the way it did didn’t help my opinion of Major League Soccer. Just because the NFL can move the Oakland Raiders... *checks Wikipedia* three times, does not mean that it’s the ideal business model. Building loyalty, comradery and representation among a group of potential fans can come across fake very easily. Just ask any fan of Soccer in North Carolina right now as they read rumors of MLS coming to their neck of the woods.

My issues with MLS as a league remain just like the shame I feel as an American Soccer fan about the non-qualification for the 2018 World Cup. There isn’t a neat through line between domestic soccer issues and the national team. I didn’t realize that two years ago when I originally wrote this. Funny enough, the US Men’s National Team hasn’t looked much better while the Women win another World Cup only to be denied equal pay by the same federation. Supporting any club within a league with as many issues as MLS is hard but the old club over league saying cuts both ways. While the Pro/Rel advocates seem to think franchises and clubs cannot be mentioned in the same breath the functionality from a fan perspective isn’t different enough to really matter. Therefore I’ve come to a point of acceptance with MLS, especially this year. While the overall league will continue to be revolting in many ways if the right club *cough* *cough* franchise comes along, I’ve grown open to a new MLS relationship after my breakup with NYCFC.

Breakup: Insert Taylor Swift lyric here

This final section was the briefest in the original Breakup. While my breakup with NYCFC remains Taylor Swift’s “We are never ever getting back together”, there is a new song that you could insert into the header here, this time for a new relationship. This time it’s not a Taylor Swift song at all. It’s Wonderwall. I already listed all the specifics of breaking up with NYCFC, wished them the best and what not like a polite breakup. Now it’s time to talk about how I’ve decided to be happier.

The Rochester Rhinos are... not in great shape. While a second year of haitus was frustrating a third year stands to be outright fatal. The only real example of an American Soccer team going on haitus and coming back better for it is Montreal. Yeah, I know that’s not an American side, but that club went on haitus for a year around the turn of the millennium and came back. Eventually the Impact would find their way to MLS. That hiatus was one year. Most soccer clubs go on haitus before selling or folding. No club has come back from a multi-year haitus like this and been better for it (and no I’m not counting the New York Cosmos and Tampa Bay Rowdies because those are the same organizations in name only). That’s just the history of the sport in this country. I’m very open to the Rhinos coming back into my life. I write a monthly blog about soccer in the City of Rochester after all. I have a place carved out in my bank account for that revival I keep being told will happen oh so soon. But the proverbial afterlife of that club I love so much is also a distinct possibility. As a loyal fan I’ll help usher this club into that afterlife if that’s what it comes to. In that scenario I’ll be carving “greatest soccer club in American history” into the tombstone.

But, and this is a huge but that I was not mature enough for two years ago: I’ve also decided to be happy with domestic soccer for once. I’ve been keeping tabs on several clubs and building memories that could help form the foundation of loyalty. I made a goodwill power ranking that went through 35 iterations this past summer. While I’m not becoming a full-fledged supporter of any other club until I get a death certificate on the Rhinos, some of the points of fondness that made me love the Rhinos are informing the memories I’m building with other clubs. Indy Eleven felt quite alluring but my heart just isn’t there. Certainly the Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC having Bob Lilley and half a dozen other former Rhinos provides for a nice trip down memory lane. But the intangibles that go beyond anyone group of players ring even louder for me: the difficulty of this American Soccer journey, the way soccer up here in the North is more fun as a summer sport because I want to watch Hockey in the winter. The way a good soccer story involves a whole lot of chance and, in it’s purest form, depends on supporters who sing win or lose. The story of a club, the aesthetic of a club, the culture of it, the message of it and well frankly the struggle of it informed where I would go for my next relationship. If I wasn’t such a patriot Hamilton Forge FC of the Canadian Premier League would be an absolute layup in all the categories I’ve described today. But no, the club that’s checked all my boxes is from the States.

In case you didn’t pick up the Wonderwall connection earlier my new MLS club, if I become open to a new relationship, is Minnesota United FC. Ultimately the benefits wrapped up in regional representation fell null with the nearest pro clubs being two to three hours away at best. The closest American Pro Soccer team is the aforementioned Pittsburgh Riverhounds and maybe they’ll find their sugar daddy and make it to MLS one day but as we’ve established that’s not an important criteria for me. Nostalgia wasn’t going to drive my next relationship, that’s part of what misled me in my first breakup. Moreover comradery with Pittsburgh isn’t something that comes naturally to me due to a real hatred for their other sports teams. My taste for representation in a sports team is melodramatic if I’m being honest. The imagery of the dark clouds of MNUFC, the history of being up and down barely surviving as an organization for ten years to then somehow finding a way into the topflight, the near deification of greyness of living in the north while also singing Wonderwall, a melancholy song with very palpable strands of hope; it just all spoke to me on a very visceral level. The mix of gray and blue and black in their aesthetic was more appealing than I remember first seeing them come into MLS when I was a NYCFC supporter back in 2016. All that and Loons are a beautiful, yet annoying animal and I feel that somehow represents me: an annoying bird who is mighty melancholy in his soccer life right now, just looking to flock together with other melancholy Northern Birds. In case you didn’t know, Minnesota sports is full of melancholy.

Right as MNUFC came onto my radar earlier this year they held NYCFC at bay at the opening game of their new stadium Allianz Field. A couple months later they thrashed FC Cincinnati 7-1, a club I had developed a real hatred for when they played the Rhinos in the USL. Then, as if they knew I had started watching, they went on a wicked tear that landed them in the top two of the MLS Western Conference, a feat the club had never come close to in their MLS days. They were then courteous enough to lose the Open Cup Final, look mighty ass down the home stretch to the playoffs and bow out in the first round to the hated LA Galaxy. That sounds like the emotional rollercoaster of a team I support!

But let’s not stray from the meat and potatoes here: MLS is something I do not want to support with my money even after my Rhinos are pushing up daisies. Well that’s part of the benefit of being a fan so far away. I don’t go to games and I don’t buy merchandise. The jersey I got was free through a friend. That said I know through stream and other ways MLS will somehow still benefit from my following of MNUFC. You can’t win all the battles, but I’ve found soccer love again and if my first breakup taught me anything its that you have to grab onto that soccer love while you have it or you may lose it. Our soccer lives are somewhat like real life: messy. And that’s okay, I’ve decided to be happy with messy.

Thanks for reading.