#one ill post tomorrow and the other some time this weekend

[hellfiresmaster]

.

[natailiatulls07]

The golden trio Pt 5

Lando Norris x female!reader

Carlos Sainz x female!reader

Max Verstappen & Female!reader & Charles Leclerc

Summary - Being bestfriends with two famous formula one drivers is never easy, but what will happen when you get involved with yet another formula one driver??

Warning - a cringy pick up line, cheating, slight argument and swearing

A/n - I’ve been ill all weekend so I have just been getting some things done so you are getting loads this weekend

There is also kind of a time skip half way through, but you’ll know when 🤍

How is everyone feeling about todays Grand Prix?? 🥹

The golden trio

-

Text (White: Reader) (Orange: Lando)

Hey, are you lighting cause I make you McQueen 😉

Lando Norris are you trying to use a pick up line on me?? 😳

Of course darling, just trying to shoot my shot

Well in that case if you want to shoot your shot, take me on a date

Tomorrow 6pm I pick you up

Do I get to know where we’re going Mr Norris??

Nope. I’ll see you then 😘

See you tomorrow 6 pm 🤍

yourusername has posted a story

Gossip Groupchat (White: Reader) (Red: Charles) (Blue: Max)

Hey Bee, me and Charlie have found a new film wanna do a movie night tonight??

Yeah! It looks like a great film, we think you’ll like it 😁

Oh I’m sorry guys, I have a date tonight…

A date?!

With who!??

Um…Lando 🤭

Wait what?? Has finally come to his senses and remembered that night?!

Idk, he sent me a very cringy pick up line to shoot his shot

Yeah and then what??

I then said if he wanted to shoot his shot he should take me on a date so yeah he’s picking me up at 6

Ohhhh so that’s why you were busy all day

Yep, I was getting my nails done and doing some last minute pieces

Well we’ll probably see you just before you leave so I won’t give you the talk just yet 😇

Now I’m considering sneaking out 😅

Don’t you dare young lady!!

lando.jpg

Shooting my shot for her 😍

Tagged: yourusername

Liked by maxverstappen1 and 63,935 others

username I want dates like this 😩

username Lando taking photos of their date is just to make us jealous 😤

= username Well it worked 🫤

charles_leclerc Don’t forget about her curfew

= lando.jpg Of course, don’t want to get on the big brothers bad sides 😳

= username Overprotective brothers!!!

Texts (White: Reader) (Orange: Lando)

I had a great time last night, thank you 🥰

Of course, I had to win you over and I hope I’ve done that 🤞🏻

You were successful in winning me over

Yayyy!! Wanna do it again some time?

I’d be a fool to turn that down 😅

-

yourusername

Monthly dump 😚

Liked by carlossainz55 and 63,826 others

username Not Y/n posting Lando’s back like we don’t know who she’s dating like girl we know, it’s okay 😂

username The food is making me HUNGRY!!

username She’s just like us, posting the ‘worst’ photos of her bestfriends lol

landonorris Who’s that in the McLaren hoodie?? 😏

= yourusername Idk but he uses some cringy pick up lines 😃

username Not Max being an iPad kid 🫣

f1gossip

Spotted: Lando Norris sharing a kiss with another girl whilst Y/n L/n is seen shopping on the other side of Monte Carlo

Liked username and 2,383 others

username Isn’t Lando and Y/n a thing??

= username Yeah…

= username That means he’s cheating on her 🫢

= username Yeah…

username Why?? Lando why??!

username No I can’t, I just can’t today no!!

username He continues to fuck up my ship! FUCK!

Texts (White: Reader) (Orange: Lando)

Baby I’m so sorry!

No you can’t go ‘baby’ me. No not after you go and kiss another girl Lando.

It’s not what it looks like, please let me explain

Go on then explain why you were passionately kissing another girl in your car

Seen 4 mins ago

I can’t, I’m so sorry darling

Please it didn’t mean anything to me honestly

Baby? Y/n??

I love you sweetheart

Twitter

username Lando Norris you are gonna need to hide from Max and Charles once they see what you’ve done mate 😳

username He has fucked up so much!

username I bet she’s devastated, poor girl 🥺

username Every thing is okay, everything is okay, everything is okay… we’re fucked

Text (Blue: Max V) (Orange: Lando)

Look I’ve tried to talk to Y/n but I’ve just fucked it all up I’m sorry

Yeah you can say that again. Mate if you’ve come here trying to get cut of any slack you might want to think again

I know, I just wish I didn’t do it

Yk that girl LOVES you, she has been the happiest she has ever been since she started getting hate but you fucked that up

Yeah

Charlie and I have tried to get her out of her bedroom but nothing so you gotta think of something and fast

I will, I’m sorry

I know you’re sorry, please don’t think that me and Charlie hate you because we don’t

Thank you, she’s lucky to have you guys

We’re just abit annoyed that she has been hurt once again

-

Tag list: @eviethetheatrefreak @janeholt3 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @namelesssav @amalialeclerc @eugene-emt-roe @skepvids @ravisinghs-wife

[misscammiedawn]

Plurality Weekend

Hey all. This post is for anyone discovering my blog for the first time this weekend. My name is Cammie Dawn and I write a lot about DID and Hypnokink. Both of these things will be quite relevant this weekend.

I'm attending The Plurality Positivity World Conference (info in link) this weekend after our therapist sent us to last year's event and it went well. Unrelated to the event, I'm also a panelist for a talk on hypnokink and plurality tomorrow (Saturday 5/18 at 1pm-3pm CST - info in link)

Networking at the PPWC for my Media, Myself and I essays (one kind person has already reached out to us about them which makes me glow with pride and grateful to know my stuff is getting out there) and providing my links to the panel tomorrow, I imagine I may get a few first time visitors to my blog. I thought I'd do a quick "resources and links" post.

For Media Essays:

Recontextualized Memory and Unprocessed Trauma in Umineko - A visual novel about generational trauma goes over how a young woman goes over and over the events of a tragedy in her childhood and how adult knowledge will recontextualize our adult recollections.

Derealization in Night in the Woods and Metal gear Solid 2 - Describing the sensation of derealization where the brain stops connecting associations between the self and the things one perceives in their surroundings. One example displaying how this impacts a person living with DPDR and the other showing an example of a game attempting to make a player share the experience with the player character.

DID and the healing process in Mr. Robot - A run down of the experiences of discovery, exploration, rejection and healing within DID as displayed in each season of Mr. Robot, along with a disappointed rundown of why the final episode fumbled the ball.

Bruce Banner and the roles of his alters - A breakdown of the formation of The Incredible Hulk’s DID and what roles his many alters play.

Romantic relationships with systems - A look at the marriage between Bruce Banner and Betty Talbot-Ross Banner in Hulk comics and a frank discussion between Betty and one of Bruce’s alters about how relationships function in a system.

Personality Play in Penlight - A review of one of the routes for a hypnokink visual novel called Penlight in which the protagonist hypnotizes a woman to have an alter personality, along with some descriptions of how dangerous play like that works in real life and what the consequences could be.

For Hypnokink Resources (more in our Hypnokink Writings tag):

Hypnosis and Dissociative Disorders - A Rebuttal to a recent claim at a hypnosis convention that we shouldn't practice with those who dissociate as part of a mental illness.

Ethical Personality Play - A discussion about the real psychological damage that can and will happen if you play with personality play in hypnokink without setting safeties and grounding as part of your play.

Unreality and Hypnosis - A small note about how derealization symptoms mingle with hypnokink and why grounding and ensuring "reality remains in the scene" is important.

Anyway. Thank you all. For those who follow me normally, I appreciate you indulging the link spam.

[jokertrap-ran]

[Gakuen K] SCEPTER 4 Route: Ditching School Translation

*Translator’s note : MC’s name shall remain as my normal (水嶋ラン) *Gakuen K Masterlist / Gakuen K Mobile Masterlist *Spoiler FREE : Translations under cut ! *T/N: Time for me to unload all the translations I've been hoarding in my drafts because I was too busy to format them into a post but finally got time during the weekends to clear some- ♡

Ran: …*Sigh*

Ran: (I ended up skipping Club too…)

Ran: (I'm starting to dread having to participate in Club Activities tomorrow…)

Ran: Let's just turn in for today.

Ran: (I really hope this gloomy feeling disappears when I wake up…)

»» ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♔◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ««

Ran: (It's so quiet here. There’s no one around. I wonder if I can enter the school building…?)

Munakata: Oh? You're here early.

Ran: Munakata-senpai.

Munakata: Classes only start an hour from now. Did you forget something, perchance?

Ran: No, that's not why I'm… Well, I woke up early because I'd gone to bed much earlier than usual last night.

Ran: And then I ended up coming to school early because I didn't have anything better to do anyway. What about you?

Munakata: No particular reason. I always come to school at this hour.

Ran: Really?

Munakata: Really. I'm more productive with my work here than when I stay at home.

Ran: Work? From the Student Council and the Blue Club? What kind of work do you have to do?

Munakata: A variety of things, but let's leave it at that. How are you feeling, if you don't mind me asking?

Ran: Huh?

Munakata: I got a report that you'd taken an absence from our club activities due to poor health.

Ran: Oh… Uh, yeah. That's right.

Munakata: …Are you truly unwell?

Ran: Y-Yes! My throat was kinda sore… so I thought that it was the start of a cold?

Ran: But I'm good now!

Munakata: So, am I to assume that you are now fit to participate in Club activities?

Ran: Well…

Munakata: Please follow me.

Ran: Oh, okay!

Munakata: Why did you lie?

Ran: What?

Munakata: You weren't feeling unwell at all, were you?

Ran: How did you…

Munakata: Anyone with eyes can see that you're perfectly fine despite having claimed to be absent due to illness only just recently.

Ran: Sorry…

Munakata: I'm not mad at you for your absence.

Munakata: The issue here is your lying tendencies. I approved of your tentative entry to this Club because of your honesty.

Ran: …

»» ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♔◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ««

Munakata: Come in.

Munakata: I apologize for suddenly calling you here.

Fushimi: What did you call me here for, Captain?

Fushimi: I was called away while I was in the middle of my disciplinary committee duties, so please be quick about this.

Munakata: I'll cut right to the chase then. Fushimi-kun, did you say something to her?

Fushimi: Huh…?

Munakata: I'd previously entrusted you with the duty of bringing her around for a tour of the place, but she seems to have been rather down ever since.

Fushimi: Can't you just ask her? She's right there, isn't she?

Munakata: And so… it seems like Fushimi-kun isn't exactly aware of his actions either.

Fushimi: Yeah, no.

Munakata: Alright then. Mizushima-san.

Ran: Yes?

Munakata: Please explain to us the real reason why you decided to take a leave of absence from club activities.

Ran: That's because Fushimi-kun…

Ran: He told me not to drag the others down, so I gave it some thought… and the more I thought about it…

Ran: The more I started to doubt if I could really fit in with the Blue Club.

Munakata: I see. So the reason did lie with Fushimi-kun after all.

Ran: No, it's not his fault. I'm the one to blame…

Fushimi: Sure, I did tell you not to drag us down, but I didn't tell you not to come, did I?

Ran: Huh?

Munakata: I suppose that's his way of watching out for you. It's him being considerate, if you may.

Ran: Considerate?

Munakata: Yes, despite how crude it may sound.

»» ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♔◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ««

Next Scene: Mentor

[crushingcasanova]

HI I JUST GOT BACK and i saw your post about missing me and immediately blushed and started giggling like a madman im so crazy bfbdhdhdhf

i love his mc videos, and i also watch his try not to laugh series, AND his three scary games series!!! also he played yandere simulator and ddlc at some point, so i dabble in watching those. i loooved when he played dream daddy (such a silly name, i know) because he would get so excited and joke around a lot. he has so many series and i love all of them :DDDD

I WOULD LOVE THAT ))): we could have froyo and a picnic at a pretty park and GASP i could even bring like a picnic basket.. i love picnic baskets, yknow the wicker ones n stuff? theyre so pretty. i would even dress up for you, too!!! i have such pretty outfits and i would wanna look my best >.< ill also probably be thinking about it a lot now..

:0 that sounds so fun, im glad you got to go so often!!! i live in a village, theres only one gas station and a few little shops around, but its so pretty cus theres so many trees that im. allergic to D:

YAY I WOULD LOVE TO, im free tomorrow, not the day after (friday) but also saturday too, and probably some of sunday! i dont mind any way of communicating, we can vc or just message, anything you're comfortable with lovely. and it doesnt have to be this week either, it could be anytime

THATS SO SMART?? im so happy you got second, thats such an accomplishment brbbrbfhf

ill try not to be up too late, but i cant make any promises.. muhe.. rubbing my hands evilly. but i care about you too :D exploding on the spot

mario kart was very fun!! im actually pretty good at it on my ds, which is a change from when id always lose on the wii. i usually play as king boo, yoshi, or maybe shy guy!! king boo is my favorite, hes such a silly

-🫧

WAVES HELLO !!! I was thinking about you!!! I'm glad I could make you blush but it was a bit embarrassing that you saw that so fast,,,, I don't mind as long as it makes you happy, though!

I do love minecraft videos, so I'll binge some of those probably! Yan sim and ddlc sound like such fun too! I'll keep the three scary games series and dream daddy in mind too, hehe.

Froyo and a picnic,,, I do love those little wicker picnic baskets too! What kind of fashion do you like to wear, dearie? I'd love to know! It's also cool to hear you live in a village! I live in a pretty suburban / urbanish town, so we have some nice parks and such and lots of cool restaurants and stores! I'm allergic to grass pollen, so I get the trouble with trees,,, mine isn't so severe, thankfully!

I can do tomorrow (I think) or this weekend if you'd like! I might see some family friend on saturday, but other than that, I think I should be free! And if we do tomorrow, that's not an issue either. Let me know what you'd prefer and when tomorrow! And let me know your preferences on vc and messaging too, hehe. I'd need to find some other way to vc,,, if you have a discord or something you'd be willing to give out, but it would mean some anonymity is gone (though I could always hold back on texting you!)

King boo is a good choice! I used to play Luigi's mansion a lot, so I've seen him a few times, haha. And shy guy and yoshi are good picks!

[bonesandthebees]

ello bones hope youre doing good

just found even more cool songs thanks to you, how do you always have more???

also WE COULDVE HAD YOU DOING ASL??? aw man :( (/lh)

anyway, I just turned in my paper that ive been working on for the last few months (yay, finally, it ate like all of my free time and energy) and suddenly I have too much free time and not much too read or watch (I had saved so many fics I cant manage to read anymore)

any coming of age books (or fics) or movies recommendations? (I need me some honey and tangerines vibes yk? ive been listening to the playlist too much again. one day I think ill read that fic again, but today is not the day)

much love to go you all in the ask box, eli <3

I'm doing pretty good! went to a yoga class tonight and I'm seeing the tommyinnit live show tomorrow so it's shaping up to be a pretty great weekend!

I actually filmed a video to post here on language day and everything but I wanted to redo it so my face wasn't fully in frame but then I just didn't get around to it :( oh well next time

OOO congrats on turning in that paper!! that's a huge accomplishment, I hope you get a great grade on it. and yay for free time!

oh boy ok coming of age recs I can do this. I haven't read any coming of age books since I was a teenager though so keep in my my memory of these are all hazy

books:

the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky - hallmarker of the coming of age genre, read this when I was 16 and cried, even if you've seen the movie I highly recommend the book

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire saenz - literally was one of my favorite books for so many years. I read it when I was 15 and became obsessed with it. I still look back on it so warmly it's just such a great book

it's kind of a funny story by ned vizzini - also read this one when I was like 16ish. I remembered enjoying it but not as much as the other two I've listed here. still very good though!

movies:

cha cha real smooth (2022) - actually one of my favorite coming of age films I've ever seen. it's a coming of age film about a guy in his early 20s instead of in his teens which is refreshing in its own. it hit particularly hard for me because I saw it when I was 22 and freshly graduated from college unsure what to do, the main character is 22 and freshly graduated from college unsure what to do. it's also a very unique setup and I really loved how they pulled it off

the edge of seventeen (2016) - this might be a controversial pick because the main character is actually pretty insufferable in this, but that's part of why I enjoyed it. the character is meant to be insufferable. she's a teenage girl dealing with the hell of being a teenage girl and she sucks! it's an intentional thing and it does it very well! I would say it still falls flat in some areas, but I'm mainly recommending it because it's so refreshing to have an mc genuinely be a shitty person

sing street (2016) - I count this as a coming of age movie but it's also kind of a music movie? it's incredibly fun no matter what. the songs are so catchy, the characters are all great, and the relationships are just all very well done

the kings of summer (2013) - genuinely why do I never hear anyone talk about this movie. I haven't seen it in so long but I remember it being incredibly funny with a great dose of summertime whimsy

hunt for the wilderpeople (2016) - tbh I never thought of this as a coming of age movie and it might be a bit different than most of the films on here but I was looking up lists of coming of age movies to try and remember which ones I've seen and I saw this one mentioned a few times. if you're a fan of taika waititi films, in my opinion this is his best one hands down. it's hilarious but also incredibly sweet and heartwarming at the same time

moonrise kingdom (2012) - very charming and storybook esque in the way all wes anderson films are, but with a really sweet story between two kids at its core. again, different from most of the ones on this list, but definitely an enjoyable one all the same

hope this list helps!

[calmingpi]

I was gonna announce some collab projects concepts today but forgot so ill do that tomorrow probably. I do have some other project update news though for vday

1. There should be, god willing, an agatha/lars comic. If i get myself actually drawing for once. ITS THUMBNAILED AT LEAST. Im hoping to do the art this weekend, im gonna aim for "messy pencils" to both save time and because i dont have a lineartist. Lettering will be by Crab Anon once again cause theyre both my biggest hater and my best supporter. And also because i agreed to give them $5

2. Maybe a fic will be posted. Im not sure on that one

3. Yeah there will be a valentines tuesday. Yes its ot3

4. Last year i posted an adult illustration on ao3 and then i also did a bunch of pinups that got posted way late. I dont have any of that this year cause i cant think of anything i wanna draw and im busy. Sorry ✌️

[mercy--killing]

how're you doing? You've been quiet on here for a while now. Sending good vibes y'all's way, hope you're doing as well as you can

hey i randomly logged into this account today and saw this and sort of wanted to give an update :)

the last year and a half ish i think has been good and bad. i started college, i got my first real job, i got my drivers license, and i got my first semester with straight a's since like middle school! but also ive had a couple more major traumas, had a major loss, had issues with hoarding, had an alcohol problem for a while (pretty much okay with it now though), where i live is getting very dangerous for trans people, and my physical health has kind of tanked. also i realized i was a lesbian! i almost forgot that one lol

one of those major traumas (losing someone i was very close to in front of me) just kind of changed me. it was like how the psych ward i was in killed a part of me. i just dont feel like that same person anymore because she was in my life since i was a baby and i dont think that same me can exist in a world without her. that was about a year ago and im okay but its still really hard.

im in a lot better of a place now though. im actually still living with abusive family that im totally financially dependent on, but tomorrow im getting my car put in my name and this weekend im doing a doggy date for a dog shelter with a very old pitbull and i have friends and im learning to work on cars. i still very much am a lot better off than i was the last time i posted here.

also i sort of found religion? its weird but thats been a really major part of my life lately. i call myself christian adjacent because i believe in jesus and everything but i dont agree with literally any conservative christian belief. God loves queer people, abortion is a right, other religions should be respected and christians are privileged in the west (myself included), hell doesnt exist, refugees and immigrants should be welcomed with open arms, etc. i mostly align myself with quakers. thats been a really big thing with trauma and im so much better at coping and having healthy behaviors now because of it.

i did quit therapy and im pretty strongly anti the institution of psychiatry. @/trans-axolotl has a lot of posts on it and i dont want to get too into it here. basically therapy and meds arent inherently bad and should be much more accessible and many people benefit from and need them, but not everyone does and stripping autonomy away from mentally ill people is bad.

so yeah. im sort of okay. some things are worse and some things are better. and if anyone is still following this blog i hope yall are doing well. i probably wont ever come back, i dont really find this blog helpful anymore, but ill keep it up for now just in case.

[madam-wakefield]

Open when...Chapter 6

AO3 Link FF Link

Summary:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 When a few years into their relationship Bernie is asked to go back to the army and deploy Serena isn't sure how she's going to get through the nine months without her girlfriend. What she doesn't expect is for it to be her girlfriend who has the perfect set of surprises to get her through both the best and the worst days. Canon divergent - Elinor lives (well actually the accident never happens), Raf lives, and Cameron isn't a total ass! The staff of AAU also probably didn't all work on there at the same time in canon but do in this! The fic is already fully written with the first few chapters having already been Beta'd. 27 chapters including the epilogue. Hoping to post every Monday and Friday!

Open when you are being driven crazy by Elinor…

She bangs her head against the desk, loud enough that it’s probably audible to Elinor on the other end of the phone, though that may not be a bad thing right now. She’s told Elinor five times already that she is at work and that no, she CANNOT drive up to Brighton to pick her up because she’s had a falling out with the friends she’s gone away for the weekend with. 

“No, Elinor, I’m working right now and tomorrow, and actually for the next three days. Unfortunately, despite being your mother, I can not drop everything just for you. I have a hospital ward to run, and I don’t think losing my job because I’ve left work to come and pick you up would look too good. What about your father? Can’t he come and get you?”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say because she gets an earful from her daughter about never mentioning her dad to her again because his new wife is SO much more important than his daughter is. And as much as Serena hates to say it, she agrees with Edward on this one. Not that Elinor should come in second to yet another new love interest of his, but that Elinor needs to fend for herself and learn that the world can’t just drop everything when it suits you. If the world did that, she’d have Bernie here right now. The ward is crazy and Raf is on holiday and Morven and Jasmine are ill so she’s been left with a bunch of F1s who, despite having the initial five years of med school training under their belt, still have so much to learn and still need so much of Serena’s support and expertise. The only saving grace is that Dom has come down from Keller to lend a helping hand. 

And just as she’s thinking of Dom, he’s there knocking on the door, “I’m sorry, Miss Campbell, but we have an emergency being brought in in the next ten minutes, just wanted to give you the heads up.” She nods her acknowledgement at Dom before returning her attention to Elinor.

“Look, Elinor, I’ve got to go, I’ve got an emergency coming in at work. Looks like you are going to have to find a way to sort out your differences with your friends. I love you, and I’ll speak to you once you’re home.” 

Serena doesn’t give Elinor a chance to reply before she hangs up the phone down with a sigh. She really does try with Elinor but sometimes she can’t help but blame Edward for raising her to be so spoiled. 

She goes into surgery still stressing about the situation with Elinor, glad that she is able to do the liver repair surgery with ease. She lets Dom do a lot of the work, knowing that getting to work on a few trauma surgeries will do him some good professionally too. She doesn’t get back into the office until much later that evening. When she does, she picks up her phone to move it off some paperwork she needs to complete before she can call it a day only to realise there are fifteen missed calls and even more text messages from her delightful daughter. 

She scans them quickly, none of them too polite, all blaming her for every problem the two of them have ever had, telling her she always cares about work more than she does Elinor. She sighs and throws her phone on the desk, not bothering to reply to the childishness. 

She loves Elinor dearly but sometimes she drives her crazy.

It’s then that she remembers seeing an envelope from Bernie holding exactly the same words. She’s got paperwork to do, but heaven knows she’s not going to get it done while she’s feeling like this, so taking time to read a letter from Bernie isn’t going to hurt. 

Serena – Open when you are being driven crazy by Elinor…

My Dearest Serena,

Take a breath! We all know how crazy Elinor can make you, but stop, pause and just give yourself a second. Yes, she drives you crazy, but you love her and you wouldn’t have her any other way. And sorry to say it, but she got some of her fierceness from you. 

I don’t know what she has done or is doing to drive you crazy but just take a step back and think. Remember how much you value your relationship with her, how much you love being able to go and watch her performances. Remember all the good times you’ve had with her and remind yourself why you wouldn’t have her any other way. 

Better? Good, now go and speak to her or call her or text her or do whatever it is you need to make her realise how much you care about her. This is time for the two of you now so I’m going to say I Love You and I miss you, and let you go.

All My Love, Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

Serena is so thankful for Bernie at this moment. She knows how hard Bernie finds it not really having a relationship with her own daughter, but she always supports Serena’s relationship with Elinor. She will do anything to make sure Serena knows why it’s so important to maintain her relationship with Elinor. Serena takes a breath and picks up her phone from the desk, composing a new message to her daughter. 

Elinor, despite what you might think I do love you and care about you. Unfortunately, you are a 22-year-old college student and I can’t just drop everything to come and pick you up, no matter how much I want to be there to support you. Part of adult life is working through disagreements so unfortunately you are going to have to do that this time. Once again, I do love you, message me once you’re home and we'll arrange a girly day out. 

And if, when they go out for their girly day, Elinor inquires about how Serena is doing without Bernie and if Bernie is okay, she will totally take that as progress.

[romanarose]

Update on how things have been.

ups and downs ups and downs...

TW for depression, suicidal thoughts, sh, and ig work issues although those seem small in comparison to the other warnings

Monday was much better. Today is worse than Monday but not as bad a last week. Last week I was in serious danger to myself. If I was insured I would have committed myself for my safety.

I relapsed on SH this week, been over a year since doing that so its pretty disappointing, but not as bad as when i relapsed after like 5 years.

As some of you know, I quit my job on friday. It was my weekend job at olive garden that i'd been at for a long time, and had evn more years at different olive garden locations and long story short i was feeling a lack of respect and decent pay for certain postions so i said i was done hosting, expecting to do bread, salad, or to go. I get schedule to buss which pays worse than host and i lost it lol. Completetly. It felt like an insult. It honestly got blown out of proportion bc of my emotions but the way my general manager handled it was really disappointing and brushed me off when i wanted to talk about it on saturday. On sunday we did actually talk. One of the other managers was in the room and while i didn't feel my GM understood me, the other manager did. She said she was the one that scheduled me that and didn't mean it as an insult nor a punishment but she validated why I felt like it was. She took me off one of the bussing shifts as an act of goodwill. I'll be working less hours there and more on my on campus job but i think over all it got smoothed over enough.

But after that, i cried and cried and cried. for 45 minutes. Like i sat in the parking lot sobbing bc i could not drive. Eventually im able to get to panda express and cry more trying to calm down and get my food. I just went i with my face red a blotchy ad tears in my eyes and went home and watched My Man Godfrey via screenshare with a friend. Good movie.

Unsure how I feel. I naively thought yesterday that this was over, but one good day does not a cure make.

On the brightside, my Race and Ethnicity in america class was supossed to do a presentation on jackie robinson tomorrow and my and a classmate were gonna work on it today after class... and she said "hey i pretty much did everything, if you just wanna come to class a little early tomorrow we can go over the slides." I felt bad bc I didn't do anything but she said she really just prefers to do work by herself. She and I are both history majors and know each other well, so I know for a fact that I can return this favor some day. I started tearing up and saying how I've been struggling so this is such a relief.

Grades will be okay I think. geology is gonna suck at the end bc ive been bullshitting it all. Race and ethnicity in american will be an A i think. Just got my paper back for the other american history class, I got an A so far. Im not super confident about the research paper at the end but... If I have an A a C or something for the paper will be alright. I got my midterm back for the history research class and I though I got like a 50% lol but it was a B-. everything else has been a's so far so if i dont do great on that paper ill survive. Race and law is an A rn and I dont precieve that changing. I need to keep a 3.0 gpa to keep my scholarship one more year.

Anyway y'all dont care about any of that.

I fear as this semmester goes on there will be less and less time to write fics so be prepared. Im trying my best. Everything is awful rn and i dont wanna exist but im pulling through.

sorry for the depressing post

[jvstheworld]

The Buffy Re-watch: S2E9 (part 2)

What's my Line: part 1

After yesterday's long rant and ramble I am back to doing my normal recaps.

Cordelia's test indicating she would be good as a personal shopper, which is very logical, but also a motivational speaker. Maybe not now, but certainly after some personal growth, I could see that happening.

Xander as a prison guard? No. Definitely not.

Buffy does become a police officer in the comics, so her test was accurate. But the line about police brutality, yikes in this day and age.

Even Giles thinks other watchers were long winded and pompous.

Nine yards of what? The whole nine yards? Where does that phrase come from? I put it in my notes to look it up, but I am too lazy to do so because I am currently ill, and it's almost 11pm at the time of writing this the day before this is supposed to be published.

Yeah, dead Buffy jokes do not go down well with Giles.

Order of Taraka bounty hunters made up of demon, humans and other possible creatures.

Willow being headhunted by a tech company and now she meets Oz for the first time.

Even Giles thinks that law enforcement would be good career choice for Buffy.

Taraka members take their places, with some misdirection as to who one of them is.

Where did Kendra come from in the cargo hold to be able to surprise the guy?

SMG can actually ice skate.

Go Buffy, for using said ice skates to slice a bad guy's head off. Has that been done in a horror movie before, using a ice skate to kill someone? I feel like it has but I don't know where.

I wrote in my notes that I wish Spike would snuggle up with me the way he does with Drusilla, but since then I have been on a Jason Sudeikis thing (God damn you Ted Lasso for this) so as much as I love Spike and still find him attractive, my attention has been diverted elsewhere. But honestly, who doesn't want to be snuggled up to someone they love?

See Angel, Darla was wrong. Buffy did see your vampiric face and still want to kiss you.

Even Giles is freaked out by the Order turning up. That's definitely bad.

Dude made up of bugs. Eww.

Buffy's first interaction with Oz does not go well. Oh Oz, you have no idea how tense she is.

The next best place for Buffy to be is at Angel's since very few know where he lives. It's a smart move.

Girl take your shoes off before getting into bed. It's a pet peeve of mine when people put their shoes on furniture. You've been outside wearing them and will have dirt and stuff on them, why would you what to put them on things you sit or sleep on?

We meet Willy for the first time. I wonder what happens to him, because they stop bringing him back after season 4, I think?

Angel, honey, of course Spike sent to Order to kill Buffy. Who else would it be? Be logical about this my guy.

Kendra kicks ass. Mostly Angel's ass.

Xander is the first one to call the group 'the scooby gang'. Of course SMG would later go on to play Daphne in the James Gunn live action films and also marries Fred from the films too.

Is this the first time we see the Summer's house living room properly? I think it is.

Oh shit, two slayers! Well, Buffy did die last season, apparently there is no waiting time for when the next person gets called.

Part 1 of part 2 will be uploaded tomorrow.

I am thinking about posting Ted Lasso episode recaps on weekends to break up the Buffy recaps. I've watched season 1 of it and have notes ready to write up, it's just about finding a good time to do it. So it won't be this weekend or next but definitely in the future. I'll see what works.

[thatredheadwriter]

Wine Drunk

steven grant x reader

I know I said I wasn’t going to post any fics this weekend, but this one was almost finished and I couldn’t help it. I don’t believe that it’s my best work, but it’s a cute little thing so I hope somebody enjoys it.

This is a SFW oneshot for (implied) female reader with Steven Grant of the show Moon Knight. This work does not contain smut, however it may contain mature language or themes, and as a rule my blog is only for those over the age of 18 (or the age of majority in your locale). As a writer, I will attempt to make accurate warnings for each of my fics, however I cannot guarantee that I will identify each and every sensitive topic. My works regularly contain swearing, allusions to/mentions of sex, and canon level violence.

Warnings Include (but are not limited to):

Mentions of pet illness

Mentions of vomit

Alcohol/drinking

Drunkenness

General Steven and reader awkwardness

Please read at your own discretion and consume your fanfiction responsibly.

You slammed the door to your flat, wincing as the sound made your eyes rattle in your head. After locking it tight and putting the security chain in place, you all but threw your bags across the room and onto your counter.

Your hair was wet, your socks were wet, your favourite boots had a hole in the toe, and you were just nearly run over by a cab. Overall, you’d had a crummy day and coming home to an empty flat was just the cherry on top. Your cat was at the vet, somehow he’d managed to swallow a paperclip meaning you had to rush him to the emergency centre on Wednesday evening.

The spring rain had you craving homemade chicken and rice soup, but the grocery store didn’t have any carrots, any long grain rice, or bay leaves. So instead you bought a bottle of rosé and a handful of Dairy Milk bars.

When your phone rang, you nearly threw it instead of answering, not in the mood to be bothered, but when you saw the name, you couldn’t help the small smile that came to your lips. Sliding the green emblem along its track, you answered the call and flopped down onto your couch with a light bounce.

“I have had the worst day,” you groaned, rolling over onto your side to face the door you’d just come in. Your hand reached down to remove your trashed boots and icky socks.

“So-so I guess that means you don’t want to go see a movie…” he chuckled as he said it, but there was a clear note of disappointment in his voice. You cursed mentally, just now remembering your commitment to go with Steven to see the old film that was playing at the local theatre this weekend.

“Oh, god, Steven. I completely forgot! I’m so, sorry, but I’m absolutely drenched. I got splashed with puddle water from a bus,” you felt like a child, whining the way you were, “And I’ve got to take a shower before I’m even halfway presentable-”

“I’s alright, (y/n),” he cut you off, “I completely understand. We’ll do a raincheck, eh?”

You chewed your bottom lip. You weren’t exaggerating, and the last thing you wanted to do was go out. But the thought of seeing Steven made you feel warm deep within despite the cold, wet clothes still clinging to you.

“I’ll let you go, yeah? Call me tomorrow if you’re feeling up to-”

“Steven, do you want to come over?”

The words flew out of your mouth, and you almost didn’t believe you’d said them.

He cleared his throat on the other end of the line, “What?”

“Would you want to come over? I know it’s no movie, but I was thinking-”

“I’d love to.”

There was silence for a minute, and then you remembered it was your turn to speak.

“Oh, uh, I’ll text you my address. Wanna be here in, say an hour and a half? That gives me some time so I won’t smell like street water when you get here.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,” he hastily agreed, and you heard rustling in the background.

“Ok, well I’ll see you soon, then.”

“See you.”

“Bye, Steven,” you couldn’t help but grin to yourself when you said his name.

“Laters gators,” he signed off before a click let you know the line had been disconnected.

An hour and twenty-eight minutes later you were pacing your kitchen in your best loungewear, waiting to see if Steven or the delivery man would arrive first.

After your much needed shower, you scrambled around the flat to straighten up and feel like the place was at least half-presentable. You made your bed, picked up all the dirty clothes and clutter, and finally did the few dishes that were stacked up in the sink. In the last five minutes you’d set out bowls and chopsticks and wine glasses, all in nervous anticipation of Steven’s first ever visit.

You’d sent him your address before you got in the shower, and when you got out, he’d asked about dinner. Of course he’d offered to pick something up, but you told him you had an excellent working relationship with the delivery guy from the Vietnamese place three streets over, and that they had an excellent vegan pho according to reviews.

When you heard a knock at the door, you nearly jumped out of your skin, your fuzzy socks sliding on the hardwood floors as you rushed to see who it was. Through the spyhole, you saw a nervous looking Steven, who was holding the bag from the Vietnamese place by his side, some other grocery bag in another one, and a bouquet of multi colored gerbera daisies in the other hand.

It took far too long to get the door open so when you finally did, your face was a little flustered. But if Steven noticed he didn’t let on. The corners of his mouth twitched up in a smile when he saw you, and he lifted the hand holding the flowers.

“Thought these’d brighten your day,” he explained shyly as you took the bouquet from him and stepped aside to let him into the flat.

“Steven, you so did not have to do this,” you chided, but your wide gin betrayed how you really felt.

“I know, I know,” his back was turned to you as he unloaded the bags on your dining table, “But I wanted to. Oh, and since you didn’t let me pay for dinner, I picked up a bottle of your favourite red.”

His face fell when he turned, and saw the bottle of rosé sitting out on the counter, the own bottle he’d purchased in hand.

“Really, you’ve gone to far too much trouble, Steven,” you grinned, taking the bottle from him and over to the counter.

“I-I didn’t realise you’d already have-”

“Steven, I did tell you I had a horrible day, didn’t I?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“I have a feeling that between the two of us, we can probably finish two bottles,” you smirked, cutting the foil open on the bottle of red. Steven was still standing awkwardly between the doorway and your dining table. “I see you met the delivery man.”

“Oh, um, yeah I did,” he nodded along to your words.

“Well, if you want to bring the food over here, I’ve got bowls and utensils out,” you nodded your head to the clean dishes. He brought over the large brown paper sack and was starting to unpack it when he noticed you struggling with the cork.

His hands hovered near his sternum, like he wanted to say something. Finally after your third curse word, he let it out. “Sorry, (y/n), but could I maybe help you with that? Not that you need it, but-”

“Please,” you smiled, handing the bottle to him and gliding around him to finish unpacking the food.

“Um, should I pour,” he turned to ask you, hip brushing your ass a bit due to the tight quarters.

“Sure, there’s an aerator in the top drawer there to your right. Supposed to make it taste better, I guess,” you chuckled. Steven found it without incident and in just another minute, the two of you had a rather full dinner in front of yourselves.

He started to sit at the dining table, but you made a face.

“Do you mind if we eat in the living room? Those chairs hurt my ass, and I promise I don’t care if you spill.”

Steven just shrugged agreeably and followed you to the cosy living area, the only seating being your beloved couch and a single thrifted armchair. You took your usual spot on the couch, and Steven was headed for the armchair.

“I wouldn’t sit there if I were you.”

He furrowed his brow. 

“That’s my cat’s chair, he’s got it covered in his fur and if you sit there, you will be too.”

“Oh, well I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of your cat,” he grinned, plopping down on the end of the couch opposite you.

“You won’t, he’s still at the vets’.”

Steven’s chopsticks clattered into his bowl, “Really? What happened?”

You rolled your eyes, “Bloody bastard swallowed a paperclip on Wednesday, had to go have emergency surgery. They’re just keeping him for a while.”

“Oh, well, I’m still sorry to hear it.”

“Thanks. I’ve been kinda lonely around here without him,” you admitted to him before slurping at some of the broth in your bowl. 

“I know I’d be lonely without Gus.”

“Who’s Gus?”

“Well, Gus’s my goldfish, see. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but…” Steven went on to tell you all about his one-finned goldfish and how much he liked sprinkles and looking at postcards.

By the time you finished dinner, and the bottle of red, you were giggling along to all of Steven’s stories, a heady buzz settling into your veins. He was still finishing his first glass, while you were swallowing your fourth.

“I’m going to grab the rose,” you grinned wildly, standing off the couch and making your way to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, you opened the bottle before starting to tote it back to the living room, which is when you noticed the chocolate on the table.

“Hey, you want a chocolate bar?” you asked, holding one up so he could see. He nodded, so you tossed the candy at him, and unsuccessfully tried to stifle your giggle when he fumbled with it for a moment before it finally landed in his lap.

“So, what about your day was so bad?” he asked as he held his glass out for you to refill it.

Now it was your turn to ramble. First you told him all about your ruined shoes, and how your feet got drenched almost first thing once you stepped outside. Then at work, the stomach bug was going around, so half your kids were out and the other half had just been out. Two boys got in a fight at recess, and then you had pickup duty after classes. Then there was your bi-weekly faculty meeting. They announced new budget cuts of course, and then some dumbass had nominated you to take over the after school arts program. You didn’t have anything against the program, but you didn’t have the time or energy to run it. And finally, at the beginning of your journey home, a bus splashed you with street puddle water.

“At least-at least I wasn’t Mrs. Harvelle,” you said through gasping laughs, Steven’s expressions and your high blood alcohol level making you laugh so hard you were crying, “Little miss head of the department, had not one, but two of her kids vomit in class. One of them was all over her shoes.”

Tears streamed down your face as you rocked back and forth, trying to catch your breath.

“Oh, god. I  could never, ever be a teacher. One time a toddler threw up on the counter at work and I had to go hide in the back until maintenance cleaned it up. Donna was so pissed.”

By the time you’d both stopped laughing, the clock on your wall read 12:04, and your head was starting to ache a bit. The soft hum of rain on the roof and against the windows was beginning to pull you towards the land of dreams and you thought fondly of your bed just in the other room.

Steven seemed to notice the shift in your affect, glancing at the clock himself.

“I, uh, I should go,” he set his empty glass down on the table next to the pile of chocolate wrappers you two had made.

“You don’t have to.”

Steven’s mouth opened and closed a couple times, like he wasn’t sure what words he should use. But his answer was obviously not a positive one.

“God, I’m sorry,” you tucked your face in your hands.

“Wha-what are you sorry for, love?”

“I’ve just gone and made this awkward and now you’re not going to want to come over again and I just feel like an idiot for ruining everything.” Your drunken state had you crying again, although these were not happy tears.

“Hey, shh, it’s alright, yeah? You’ve not ruined anything,” Steven moved quickly, closing the distance between you. One of his large hands came to rub reassuringly on your arm, but when you leaned into him, he wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to fall into his chest and sob.

“But I forgot our date, and then I spent the whole time bitching, and now I’m drunk crying,” you hiccuped, looking up at him through teary lashes.

“No, no, love. You’ve been wonderful. ‘Sides, how many times have you seen me when I’m all a mess, hmm?”

“A lot,” you sniffled, earning a chuckle from Steven above you.

“Look, you just need your rest, darling. Tha’s alright.”

You nodded into his chest, breaths coming more and more regularly now, the tears falling slower now.

“Ok? Let’s get you into bed,” he released you, and you nearly whined at the loss of contact. He was so warm, so familiar and comfortable, so Steven.

He helped you stand up and kept a steadying hand on your midback as you made your way to the bedroom. It was lit with dim lamplight and the sight of your bed nearly brought a new run of tears. You watched as Steven turned down your duvet and sheet, moving out of your way as you sat down and got comfy.

Steven smiled down at you as you fell back on the pillow. You couldn’t help but grab one of his hands that dangled by his side.

“I know-I know you don’t want to…but I need you to know that you can stay, if you want.”

His jaw clenched and his grip on your hand tightened.

“I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

Steven stood in front of your vanity, leaning heavily against your porcelain sink. He’d never liked another person’s bathroom so much, but this one smelled like you.

“Marc, get out here. I need to talk to you,” he stared at himself in the mirror, speaking as sternly as he could while keeping his voice low. “Marc! Bloody hell, I need…”

“What?” his reflection twisted into a bored frown, and Steven resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“I’m at (y/n)’s flat. She wants me to stay over and-”

“Ooh, good on you Stevie. Finally going for it?” Marc interrupted his other, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“No, no. That’s not what-I’m not…Look, I want to stay over, but I need to know that you’re not going to take over and leave in the middle of the night or scare her or-”

“You’re just staying over?”

“She’s drunk and upset, so yes.”

Marc rolled his eyes, “Fine. Unless we are in mortal danger, I won’t take over.”

Steven breathed a sigh, releasing the coil that had built in his chest. He knew that was the best guarantee he would get from the alter, so he ran a hand through his hair, splashed some water on his face, and went back to your room.

You had turned over in bed so you were facing away from the door, but as he came around the end of it, he could see your eyes had shut and your lips had parted slightly.

He made quick work of shedding his sweater before crawling into the empty space next to you, careful with his movements so he wouldn’t disturb you, and gently lowered himself onto the mattress.

Reaching over, he pulled the chain to turn off the lamp. He laid in silence listening to your breathing.

You woke up in the morning with a killer headache and a dry feeling in your mouth, but all of that was momentarily forgotten when you tried to roll over, only to be met with something solid at your back. Scrambling to sit up, you were met with the sight of a fully dressed Steven, snoozing softly beside you.

His face was pressed into the pillow and his plump lips were parted slightly. As sunlight filtered in through the window, it highlighted his messy curls, and you found your hand hovering, wanting to reach out and run your fingers through them. You knew Steven didn’t sleep much, so you elected to leave him to rest as you found your way to your feet and fumbled for the water bottle you kept on your nightstand.

There was a slight chill in the air, and you rubbed at your exposed arms. But on your way to the closet to retrieve a sweatshirt, you noticed Steven’s discarded jumper on the back of your chair.

With your hands tucked into the sleeves of the oversized sweater, you made your way out into the kitchen and filled the kettle so you could start so tea or coffee, you hadn’t decided which yet.

It was almost noon when Steven emerged from your bedroom, creases from your pillow pressed into his face. He scrubbed at his cheek lightly, and you could swear you could feel your heart flutter.

“Oh, there’s my jumper,” he said sleepily, making you giggle.

(A/N: If it’s not super clear, Steven is wearing a t-shirt underneath his sweater.)

thatredheadwriter’s Masterlist

[dominimoonbeam]

Scars That Remind - Part 2

More teen pack drama! I will be aging them up soooooon.

AU where Gabe basically adopts Darlin and they end up being like a sibling to David. 

Posted on ao3 as well as here!

tags: homelessness, pack family, dysfunctional darlin aka canon darlin, bullying, family dynamics, learning to trust.

Scars That Remind - Part 2

“You drove Darlin to school,” Milo notice allowed.

David grunted once in the affirmative and dumped some books into his locker. They went to an empowered high-school, one of the perks of growing up in Dahlia. He heard empowered people outside of big cities either had to homeschool or try to go to unempowered schools—which could easily get messy. Just the other day, Asher flirted with an electro until they accidentally fried the lights in the gym.

“You’ve driven them to school every day this week,” he added, not noticing when Asher stole the second half of his sandwich from his lunch.

“Mhm…” David finished his apple and looked up at the sky where a cloud was sliding in front of the sun, casting a shadow over the crowded quad and all the students eating lunch. Milo was a year younger than him and Asher, and a year older than Darlin. The week had been weird to say the least. Darlin was living in the guest room at his house, eating breakfast with them in the morning before going to school and then coming home with him. They pretty much hid in the guest room except for meal times, where they cleaned their plate and eyed the rest of the food but never took anything more than whatever his dad put on their plate—which was a lot.

“Didn’t they leave the pack? Why are they still in Dahlia?” Asher asked, mouth full of Milo’s sandwich. He asked the way only Asher could, without any offense or ill thought, only vaguely curious.

David shrugged but it was only a matter of time before they knew. Any day now, Asher usually went home with him on Fridays and slept over sometimes on the weekends. And plenty of the pack hung out at the house. It was actually kind of weird no one had noticed in the last few days. “They’re parents left the pack and Dahlia.” It was a fact. Not a secret.

Milo had been about to yell at Asher for stealing his sandwich when the words hit him. “Wait. You mean…Their parents left without them?”

David nodded once, still scrutinizing clouds.

“So…What, they’re living with you and Gabe?” Milo continued, voice pitching.

David felt Asher watching him. Asher could be flighty as fuck but he never missed a detail and he was often first to put them all together. He’d asked David about the bandages on his shoulder on Tuesday in the locker rooms before gym class.

The bell rang and Milo swore, grabbing his shit and hustling off to his class. Asher and David had their next period together and he waited until Milo was gone to ask, “You said someone bit you when I asked. You weren’t joking?”

David sighed and got up. He started walking, Asher falling into step beside him. “No.”

Asher smirked curiously. “Did Darlin bite you?”

David snorted. “No.” He sighed, glancing around to make sure they were alone, walking around the outside of the buildings toward gym. “Don’t say anything?”

Asher nodded once and David knew whatever he told him now, he’d take to the grave.

“They were sleeping in a park and this other wolf showed up. We got in a fight.”

Asher glanced at his shoulder again, like maybe he could see the wound through his t-shirt and hoodie. “That’s rough. I can’t imagine being alone like that.”

David sighed, nodding. Leave it to Asher to find the point and ignore everything else.

“Can I still come over after school tomorrow?”

David nodded again as they ducked into the locker rooms. “Yeah. Of course.”

A couple hours later he was sitting in his truck waiting for Darlin. Waiting too long. What the fuck? The parking lot was almost empty. Had Darlin finally made a run for it? Did they really think Gabe was bullshitting when he said he’d chase them down? It wouldn’t even take him that long to do it. His dad would probably have them back at the house before dinner.

David considered driving home without them and growled at himself for thinking it. Asshole. He got out of the truck, slamming the door and storming back into the school. Where was there last class? They always came from this direction…

“Do it!” he heard someone laugh-shout.

He followed the voices outside, to a spot between buildings where kids sometimes snuck out to smoke.

He heard the very clear sound of someone slapping someone just before he rounded the corner to see the group of younger students. Darlin’s age, and Darlin was the one with a growing handprint across their cheek—the one that was still bruised yellow and brown. The four other kids had them cornered. Still, Darlin should be able to knock these idiots out. He’d seen them fight.

“Shift! I wanna see it!” the air elemental shouted, shoving hard at Darlin’s chest to slam them back into the wall, using a little wind to give themself more force, that air rolling around between the buildings to kick up leaves.

Darlin grinned, lip bleeding onto teeth. “If I shifted you’d shit yourself and I don’t wanna smell it.”

One of the other kids moved fast, grabbing at Darlin’s arm. Darlin growled and tried to shake them off but there were too many hands and for some reason Darlin wasn’t throwing punches or shifting. Smoke rolled off their arm where the other kid was holding—a fire elemental.

David growled when he stepped forward, the sound loud enough that it started all of them. All eyes turned to him, growing bigger when they had to turn their heads upward. He bared teeth. “You want to see a wolf shift?”

The fire elemental stumbled into a second, both looking around for an exit but David was in the way now. The air elemental grew instantly teary, jabbing a finger at Darlin. “They threatened us!”

Darlin’s eyes widened at that. “What? No! Fuck you, I didn’t do anything!”

“I saw you. I heard you,” David said, stalking closer. They all backed up—except for Darlin who just grabbed their bag up off the ground and rubbed at their arm, their sleeve burned. “You were using your powers on them—to cause pain. You know you could get expelled for that, right?” He took another step and they were backed into a brick wall. “You know they belong to the Shaw pack right?”

“But-But they’re always by themselves,” one cried, full tears now.

David growled and one of them screamed. “Pack is pack and if anything like this happens again, you will be enemies of the pack for life. Am I understood?”

They whined and nodded.

David sneered before turning on his heel and catching Darlin by the arm, pulling them along with him around the building and toward the parking lot. “What the fuck was that?” he asked when they were well out of earshot of those shits.

“What?”

“You were just going to stand there and take it?” He kept walking, only stopping when he got to the truck. He pulled them in front of him and then lifted their arm. He grabbed their hand and carefully lifted the sleeve to get a look. Red and welted but not a burn that would scar. “Why?” he demanded when they didn’t answer.

“I…If I did anything they would have told someone. You think anyone would believe me over them?” They jerked their arm back from his hold. “And I can’t get in trouble again. They’d try to call my parents and it’s not like that’s going to work. Then they’d call—” they stopped suddenly, jaw ticking when they snapped it shut.

David stared. “My dad.” They would call Darlin’s pack alpha if they couldn’t get ahold of their parents. “So?”

Darlin looked away.

David’s dad had been called by schools plenty of times. “What? You think he’d believe those assholes over you?”

“Would it matter? It would be a scene. I would have fucked up. Either way I didn’t handle it myself. The last thing I need right now is your dad regretting letting me stay.”

David actually took a step back. It was like this kid learned new ways to hit him. “No one is letting you stay,” he said clearly. “You belong with your pack.” Did they think his dad would kick them out for getting into a fight at school? They made it sound like they were a criminal granted mercy. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Darlin. You aren’t in trouble. Your parents just…” He tried and failed to understand what exactly Darlin’s parents had done or thought they’d been doing. “They left. But that doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.”

Darlin stared back at him, eyes big with surprise, like they were actually trying to absorb everything he said. They swallowed hard and nodded once, looking away.

David sighed and opened the passenger door of his old truck. “Get in.”

Darlin did, slinging their backpack onto their lap. It was always just as heavy and full as it had looked Monday night when he found them in the park. He wasn’t sure if they’d actually left anything in their room at the house. He suspected they took everything they owned with them every day.

After that, Asher or David would find Darlin on their way to lunch and drag them along to sit with them.

 -

 Darlin made the bed in the guest room, grabbed their bag and headed out to the living room. Asher and David were in David’s room playing video games and Darlin had overheard something about Asher staying the night.

They planted themself on the couch, in the corner, and pulled a book from their bag, thumbing it open.

When Gabe came home they tensed but kept there eyes on the page. Why did they always want to run away when he showed up? He’d never been anything but nice. They knew that but it didn’t change the gut reaction.

He hung up his jacket and took another couple steps into the house, stopping and looking at Darlin on the couch.

A million thoughts flashed across their mind. Were they not supposed to sit out there? Darlin’s parents hadn’t had house rules, aside from staying out of their way and not touching any of their stuff. Did Gabe consider the couch his stuff? Fuck.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

Darlin creased the cover of their paperback. “Yeah. Why?”

Gabe shrugged. Was he smirking? “Haven’t seen you come out of your cave all week.”

David and Asher laughed in his room down the hall, the sound carrying.

“Ash is spending the night, so I moved to the couch,” Darlin explained, suddenly worried they’d made the wrong move. Maybe they weren’t allowed to sleep out there?

Gabe took another step closer, shoulders eased back. “Asher sleeps in David’s room when he’s over. The other room is yours as long as you want to stay, Darlin. You don’t have to give it to anyone and you don’t have to share it with anyone.”

Darlin stared, surprised. He sounded so firm on that—like it was a real rule, like it was their own space and no one else’s. They got the feeling he wouldn’t go back on it either.

Gabe’s gaze flicked to their backpack for a second and then away. “If you want to leave stuff in there you can too. No one’s going to go in there and take anything.”

“I don’t have anything,” they said reflexively. They didn’t have anything anyone else wanted, anyway. It was just their junk. But they wanted to keep their junk. It was all they had.

Gabe was so calm—so different from how Darlin’s parents had been and even farther from how they’d said he would be. They’d been staying at his house all week and there hadn’t been any red flags, no signs that his invitation had been a trick or anything to suggest he’d done it for any reason other than…what? Loyalty? He said they were family like it meant something.

“You have things,” Gabe said clearly and Darlin felt heat in their face. “But I mean it, Darlin, your room is your own.” He smirked and turned toward the kitchen. “But you are always welcome to sit out here too.”

Darlin looked at their bag, considering grabbing it and bolting for the guest room…their room. Gabe was going to make dinner, so he’d be in the kitchen for a while. They chewed their lip and went back to reading on the couch.

Next week when they went to school, they didn’t take all of their junk. They left the clothes they weren’t wearing in the drawers and their toothbrush on the desk with some of their books and the rubbed duck they’d had since they were a kid on the bedside table. It was all right where they left it when they got back. Eventually the surprise of that wore away. Eventually they even thought of the room as their own, slammed the door when they were pissed at David, and told other teens from the pack to stay out with the full belief that they couldn’t come in.

[queenshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part Five)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Mild Sexual References

Words: 1,848

Notes:

I have decided to make this into a series.

Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.

 *************************

YOUR POV

Two weeks had passed since you visited your friend Denise in Dublin and it was time for the annual Galway Arts Festival.

Denise had been working on a photography project for the past year and had been nominated for a student award in Galway as part of which ten of her photographs were being displayed during the Arts Festival.

Whilst, as you had expected, Cillian didn’t contact you, you knew that he would be there to support his daughter. Being an artist himself, he was very proud of her and her work and he supported her projects not only mentally but also financially with the caveat that she would finish her degree at Trinity College.

Unlike him, he didn’t want her to drop out of university even though she hated it and you certainly understood his reasoning.

Contrary to Denise, you had no creative bone in your body. You enjoyed art and theatre, but weren’t an artist or performer yourself. Instead, you were an A Grade Law Student who had become rather bored in Galway and had recently applied for a scholarship to Oxford University.

Reading was your passion and you had always been known as a geek. In school, you were the girl that no one liked, nerdy, not interested in fashion or social media and wearing braces, which, luckily, had been removed three years ago.

You were shy and it was only for Denise that you came out of your shell. She was popular in school, mostly due to her name, but also because she was generally confident and, over the years, she helped you gain confidence especially after you had left high school.

But, today, you knew you would be questioning your gained confidence once again since, first of all, you would be seeing Cillian again and the truth was that you couldn’t stop thinking about him in an intimate way and, secondly, you were featured completely naked on some of Denise’s photographs.

Whilst the photographs were artistic and not sexual in any way and your most intimate part wasn’t visible on them, it bothered you knowing that people you disliked would see you so vulnerable and you couldn’t remember why you had agreed to being photographed like that.

The other woman who Denise chose to photograph was Amalie. She was 23 and had been Denise’s friend for a while as well but, unlike you, she began modelling professionally when she was just 16. You all went to the same private school together and, clearly, her lifestyle had been largely financed by her parents. She always wore expensive clothes and had no interest in pursuing a career other than modelling, which barely sustained her lifestyle considering the few small jobs she got.

***

Just as you served your last cup of coffee to an elderly lady sitting in the corner of the café you were working at, you saw Denise, Amalie and two other friends of Denise walk in.

‘Hey guys, take a seat. I will be right with you. I am just about to finish my shift’ you said as you hung up your apron.

‘Please tell me you will get changed before the Gallery opening tonight?’ Amalie asked somewhat weirdly and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you sat down at the table with her, Denise and the others before ordering some coffees for yourselves.

‘No, I thought I would go like this’ you said sarcastically, looking down at your coffee-stained clothes.

‘I bought a dress for tonight’ you then said, after Amalie didn’t seem to sense your sarcasm.

‘Right’ she then said as she flicked through Instagram and you simply looked at Denise who shrug her shoulders.

‘What are you looking for?’ you asked curiously as her eyes seemed to be glued to her phone.

‘She is looking to find more photos of my dad and Laura Jennings’ Denise said, rolling her eyes.

‘Laura Jennings, as in the actress?’ you asked, causing Amalie to nod.

‘Yes, apparently they have been dating’ Amalie then confirmed, causing you to swallow harshly. You knew that you shouldn’t care but you couldn’t help it. Knowing that Cillian was seeing someone made you feel ill.  

‘And you care about that why?’ you then asked Amalie after an uncomfortable shiver ran down your spine.

‘Apparently, just like you, Amalie thinks my dad is a DILF’ Denise huffed out before telling you how disgusting you all were.

‘Well, he is though…he is super hot’ Amalie then joked before carrying on. ‘And I don’t understand how you don’t know about Laura Jennings and whether this is true or not. You need to find out’ Amalie then said but Denise simply shook her head.

‘My father doesn’t share this sort of stuff with me and I certainly don’t want to know about his sex life, thank you very much. In so far as I am concerned, he doesn’t have sex, ever…yuck! Also, I would appreciate if you could not talk about my dad anymore, please. It grosses me out’ Denise said and you knew that, all of this had become a common occurrence ever since the day the first episode of Peaky Blinders aired on BBC, a show which Denise refuses to watch herself because of the heavy sexual content and a show which you, only a week ago, had begun to binge watch.

Cillian’s POV

When Cillian walked into the basement after you had left, he immediately saw the small folded up note you had left him but, reading it, made him somewhat uncomfortable.

He was torn about what to do with it and certainly knew that he should ignore it. He couldn’t see you again even if he wanted to.

The fact that you were 23 years younger than him and that you were his daughter’s best friend made it all wrong and highly inappropriate and he didn’t know what had gotten into him in the first place when he gave into you.

He had never felt attracted towards you in any sort of way until that last visit which was the first time had seen you since you and your family had moved away.

You changed in many ways and he wasn’t sure what it was that he liked about you. But what he knew was that it was more than just sexual attraction, which was usually something he knew how to supress.

With that in mind, he placed your note into his wallet and decided to ignore it for now. But he couldn’t quite bring himself to throw it out.

***

With his bags packed it was time for him to return to Manchester and resume filming of the final season of Peaky Blinders.

The first week of filming went well and Cillian decided to spend the weekend with his friend, fellow actress Laura Jennings. Cillian and her had developed a friend with benefits sort of relationship. No strings attached and no feelings involved. After his divorce from Denise’s mother, he wasn’t ready for anything else and Laura would certainly not have been the type of woman he would have wanted a relationship with in the first place.

Unlike him, she wasn’t press shy and, whilst they kept their arrangement a secret as best as they could, she was otherwise quite active on social media.

Cillian, on the other hand, only maintained a private Instagram account with the sole purpose of being able to check on his children. Whilst they were adults, he was still worried about them, especially Denise who had recently gotten herself in a lot of trouble after distancing herself from this Jeremy boy.

***

‘Another wine?’ Laura asked as Cillian was relaxing on top of the doonas, wearing nothing but his black Calvin Klein briefs, after they had spent the last hour doing exactly what friends with benefits would do after not having seen each other for over two weeks due to busy filming schedules.

‘Yes please…thanks’ he responded as he reached for his phone after a notification had popped up.

It was his daughter Denise who had posted on Instagram and, since she hadn’t posted for a while, he decided to check it out, hoping that she wasn’t with Jeremy again.

To his surprise, three new pictures of Denise and her friends showed up when he opened the APP and, one of them, there was you.

In the picture, you were wearing accompanied by a man in his late twenties, wearing a suit while you were wearing a dark blue dress and he couldn’t help but wonder who the man by your side was.

You looked simply stunning, with your hair long and open and your shoulders exposed. You were wearing only a little bit of make up and showed your beautiful smile.  

‘There you go Mr Murphy’ Laura then said as she returned to the bedroom with another glass of wine, pulling Cillian’s phone out of his hand and climbing on top of him.

‘Round Two?’ she then asked eagerly as she reached for another condom, but Cillian’s thoughts were elsewhere entirely.

‘Maybe tomorrow, I am tired. It has been a long week, sorry’ he explained, causing Laura to pout with disappointment.

But the second round never eventuated as Cillian left Laura’s house the following morning to drive back to Manchester to resume filming.

On his way back to Manchester, he called his daughter Denise to check on her and while he did, he enquired about your companion on the Instagram posts.

‘Why do you want to know?’ Denise asked somewhat confused but Cillian played it cool.

‘He looks familiar, that’s all. Didn’t he go to your school?’ he then asked, playing dumb.

‘Oh god no, he is 29. His name is Connor and he is an accountant. Y/N wouldn’t date anyone our age. You know she isn’t a normal 21-year-old’ Denise joked, referring to your nerdiness and intellect.

‘Apparently not’ Cillian chuckled before asking another question about the stranger on the picture. ‘So, they are dating?’ he asked.

‘I think they went on two or three dates or something. Why do you care?’ Denise asked.

‘No reason. I was just wondering’ Cillian confirmed before changing the topic.

   Tag List:

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@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  

[uwingdispatch]

Softer Still

Softer Stil

Notes: Baze Malbus/Reader, gender neutral reader, everyone lives au, post-rebellion, mild hurt/comfort, chronically ill/disabled reader, domestic fluff,

CW: chronic illness, chronic pain, anxiety, nudity, implied sexual intimacy

Ao3 Link

★★★★★★★★

You wake when you hear his speeder pull into the garage. You’d been at your desk, working on a spreadsheet for the upcoming weekend market, making sure your inventory was accurate and your supplies were ready to go. But it had been a long week, and at some point, you’d laid your head down just to rest your eyes, and fallen asleep.

He’s in the doorway staring at you when you finally look up from your work. You hate when he sneaks up on you. But you do love to see his face.

“You fell asleep at your desk again,” he says. “This is no good.”

Baze enters your office and helps you up from your chair. You lean into his chest. Long gone are the days of his heavy armor, the khaki overalls, the weapons he carried when you first met. Today he wears his dark red leather jacket with the fur-lined collar—a jacket with the symbol of the Rebel Alliance on one shoulder and that of the Guardians of the Whills on the other. A parting gift, he’d told you, from an Alliance tailor. One of many colleagues who had taken to calling him Uncle.

For all Baze’s gruff exterior, he seemed to befriend almost everyone he met.

With one arm around you, he guides you to the living room and brings you a heating pad for your back. On the living room table is a steaming container of dumplings—a favorite from Baze’s restaurant. He brings in dishes from the kitchen, takes off his coat, unpacks several sauces from an insulated bag.

“Here, little bird,” he says, handing you utensils. “You have to take better care of yourself. Eat.”

You put a plate together, inhaling the comforting aroma of this dish—not only a favorite but the first thing Baze ever cooked for you, long before a fellow Jedhan veteran had suggested opening a restaurant. Now, waiting for your dumplings to cool, you ask him, “How long were you walking around on a sprained ankle last week? Trying to pretend nothing was wrong every time I caught you limping?”

Baze shrugs, opens a bottle of seltzer and fills both of your glasses.

As you eat you think about the early days when you were slowly learning who he was, trying to figure out what he saw in someone so his opposite, back when the little voice in your head was still telling you that he would leave as soon as he felt inconvenienced by your disabilities. But he never did. He saw your heart as much as you saw his, and you learned that he loved you as a whole person—the only way he knew how to love.

You smile, sitting on this sofa that you’d chosen together not long after you’d moved into this little house on the edge of town. “Well, everything is ready for the market,” you say. “Tomorrow I’ll be resting. You should rest, too.”

“Perhaps,” he says, placing the last of the dumplings on your plate. “Perhaps I will.”

He rests one of his large hands on your thigh for a moment, tender, before returning to his meal.

*

You’d come to Chandrila only a year before the Battle of Endor, barely making it off of your home planet before Imperial occupation would have made it impossible to leave. Now, with the destruction of the second Death Star you had hope that some of those still suffering under the Empire would find some of the relief you had found—but you knew the war wasn’t really over. Chandrila had become the seat of the New Republic government and as such more and more Rebels were arriving, both as refugees and as recruits for the New Republic Navy. You felt safe here. Chandrila was well-defended, and Hana City had become your home.

But you were also aware that when you came here you’d done so with quite a bit of privilege. While you were living with chronic pain and anxiety, you were lucky to have an old friend in Hana City who helped you get set up in an apartment, and introduced you to one of the admins who ran the weekend market where you could sell your handmade goods. And you knew that so many others were not so lucky—especially the children who arrived on Chandrila alone.

Your health had made you unfit for combat, and there were times when it had been hard on your heart to not be able to contribute in that way. But, now, as you settled into your new home, you had enough energy to commit two days a week to the orphanage in your neighborhood, reading with the kids, braiding hair, kissing boo-boos, welcoming little ones to a cozy, safe home.

It was one such day when you were waiting on the landing dock with warm, new blankets and soft, cuddly tooka dolls that you looked up expecting to see children with your usual Alliance liaison, but instead you saw him—a large man with a broad chest and thick arms, dark curls falling just past his shoulders, and the saddest eyes you’d ever seen. His armor was imposing—bright red and battle-worn. But in his arms was a tiny, half-asleep Rodian boy. A Twi’lek girl who couldn’t be older than eight clung to his leg.

You knelt on the landing dock, told the little girl your name, asked her if she’d like to pick out a doll. She looked up at the man and he nodded to her.

“You are safe here, little one. These people will take care of you.”

“Are you leaving, Mr. Baze?” the girl asked, tears in her eyes.

Baze knelt, put the sleepy Rodian boy down. “I have to go now. But I’ll be back.” He looked straight into your eyes and repeated, “I’ll be back soon.”

While you distributed toys and welcome kits to the new kids, the orphanage director pulled Baze aside. Requisite forms were filled out, more children accompanied by Alliance soldiers filed out of the transport onto the dock and you greeted them all with smiles and open arms. But in the back of your mind, all you could think about was the man with the sad eyes. Baze.

*

Baze puts his empty glass on the living room table and pulls you toward him. You snuggle into his warm body, the soft fabric of his long-sleeved henley, his muscular chest rising and falling with his breath. He smells of ginger and cotton and his herb-y shampoo. You reach to caress his bearded cheek, tuck his graying curls behind his ear.

He’s a quiet man, and there was a time when you thought you would drive him out of his mind with your constant chatter. But after a while you realized that he liked listening to your stories, your wild ideas, your long-winded rambles. Tonight, though, you’re quiet, too, a bit tired from your long hours of work.

Baze reaches down and tilts your face toward his. “little bird, how did I get so lucky?”

“I don’t know,” you say. “From where I’m sitting, I think I might be the lucky one. I’ve managed to snag not only a beautiful man, but an endless supply of dumplings.”

He kisses you then, his lips fitting perfectly to yours, a hungry embrace, the bristly hairs of his beard familiar and comforting.

You know he holds onto guilt—the loss of his faith, friends he left behind both on Jedha and on the battlefield, lives he took with his own hands during the war. You know he doesn’t believe he deserves happiness. But he still loves with his whole heart. And you are determined to give him all the happiness you can, to prove to him that he deserves it.

You take his face in both of your hands, gaze into his dark eyes. “Every single day,” you say, “I wake up grateful that I met you.”

What he can’t say with his words, he does with his kiss. And soon you are making your way down the hallway to the bedroom, leaving the dinner mess on the table, both of you knowing the tooka cat that’s currently peacefully sleeping in the window will get into the mess you’ve left the second he wakes up.

*

Two standard months after your first meeting, you’d begun to get used to seeing Baze on the landing dock when you went out to welcome the children. Today, he arrived with a human girl’s tiny hand in his. He’d begun to downgrade his armor, perhaps softening into this role as the war deescalated.

“Go on,” he said to the girl. “You will be safe here.”

She chose a blue and red tooka doll from you, and then turned to Baze, who—with another Alliance soldier—was guiding children off of the transport.

But like so many of the children Baze brought to the orphanage, this little girl was taken with him. “Mr. Baze, do you want a doll, too?” she asked, her eyes wide.

“No, little one,” he said. “But thank you for thinking of me.”

You laughed, and the girl was ushered off with a small group by another volunteer.

“The director said you make these?” Baze asked you. “So many of them. Every time I see you, your arms are full with soft toys.”

You’d heard whispers about him from other volunteers, about his participation in the Battle of Scarif, his history at the temple on Jedha. But you wanted to know his story, to hear it from him.

“A lot of children come through here,” you said. “Many of them arrive with nothing. But every child should have something soft to hold onto, don’t you think?”

He took your hands then, turned them as if to examine your palms, ran his thumbs over your skin.

“Something soft,” he said. “Yes.”

And then he filled out his forms and left.

You didn’t see him for a while, but some months later he arrived dressed mostly in plainclothes, without armor, and with a dark red Alliance jacket you hadn’t seen him wear before. He came out to the landing dock not only with kids but with luggage. And a man you’d heard about, but never seen—Chirrut Îmwe, who had also been a part of the ground team on Scarif.

“Taking a vacation, Mr. Baze?” you asked, using the moniker so many of the children did, nodding at his suitcases.

“His rank is Captain,” Chirrut said with a smile.

It took only a cursory glance at Baze’s new red jacket to see his rank pinned to his chest, but you could tell discussion of his military standing made him a little uncomfortable. The other man was teasing him.

“My rank was Captain.” he said.

You raised an eyebrow in response.

“He declined a position in the New Republic Navy.” Chirrut said. “I’ve been stationed at the Chandrila base, so one might even think that he’s following me.”

Ignoring his friend, Baze said, “Can’t go back to Jedha, so I came here.”

“Well,” you said, surprised. “Welcome home.”

The corners of his mouth quirked up into a smile, and you felt your cheeks warm.

“I have not seen Baze Malbus smile in twenty standard years.” Chirrut said. “But there’s something about you.”

“You have not seen anyone smile in twenty standard years,” Baze grumbled.

Two days later, he asked if he could make you dinner.

*

You wake in Baze’s arms, his chest pressed against your back. You will never get over the pleasure of his embrace, even on days like this when you wake with your whole body aching.

You stretch a little, trying to release some of the tightness in your shoulders.

“Are you awake, little bird?” Baze asks, almost in a whisper.

“Definitely not,” you say. “I am very much sleeping.”

He runs a hand just under the hem of your shirt, ghosting his fingers over your tummy before pulling you closer. His hand is a bit rough not only from the years of battle before you met him, but from his continued practice of martial arts. It’s therapeutic for him, not only a place to put some of his more difficult feelings, but also a way of keeping Jedha alive. Like the dumplings you had for dinner the night before.

Baze kisses the curve of your neck. “I thought I might draw you a bath,” he says. “But I guess if you're sleeping...”

Part of you wants to stay in bed all day long, to rest here, with this man touching you tenderly with his rough hands. But a bath would be so nice for your sore joints and muscles.

“I could wake up for a bath,” you say. “Perhaps if you join me. I could be persuaded.”

You turn over to face Baze, run a hand through his hair, and press your lips to his. He caresses your back, his fingers along your spine, and deepens the kiss. The sun has risen enough in the sky that you know you’ve both slept in much longer than normal. It is a day of rest, and when Baze gets out of bed, you can hear him going through the bathroom cupboard, jars of healing salts and fragrant soaps clinking against each other.

When you finally settle into the bath with him, and he’s rubbing the knots out of your shoulders, you feel a sense of relief that you’d once thought impossible. A relief that you have grown accustomed to since falling in love with this man—not just because his hands on your body are miracles unto themselves, but because in Baze you have found a home.

“Stars, I love you, little bird.” he says, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “Do you know that? How much I love you?”

“I do,” you say, leaning back into his chest. “I hope you know that I love you just as much.”

“I could never doubt that,” he says. “Never.”

★★★★★★★★

Thank you so much for reading! I really just had to get this out of my system, but I have more ideas that I could build on if you wat more Baze stuff!

Tagging folks who might be interested in this: @princessxkenobi @zinzinina @galaxtic-writings @r1-sw-lover @laserbrains @waterpancakeao3 @strwrs @phoenixhalliwell @maul-ologue

[alliedbiscuit]

msr fic / s7 post-closure but pre-all things / wc: 3398

Scully takes Maggie out for a birthday dinner, and you'll never guess who they run into.

************

“So, how are feeling about dessert?” the waiter asks hopefully.

Maggie Scully scoffs. “Oh, no. I couldn’t eat another bite. Maybe just a cup of coffee? Decaf, please.”

“Mom, are you sure? You should get dessert,” Dana Scully prods, stopping herself short before she could let it slip, “It’s your birthday!” The last gift her mother would appreciate is a gaggle of underpaid waiters singing some public-domain-compliant version of a birthday song while the whole restaurant turns its attention toward her. Like mother, like daughter.

Well, the daughter made an exception and found that kind of thing charming exactly once. But at least she got a nice keychain out of it. All her mother would get was humiliation and a chocolate lava cake.

As soon as the waiter leaves to fetch their after dinner coffees, Maggie reveals her true intentions.

“I was thinking we could go to that ice cream parlor down the street. If I’m going to indulge, I think I want a hot fudge sundae. Or maybe we could split a banana split?”

“Or you could get a hot fudge sundae and I could get a banana split, and we could split both,” Scully suggests.

“See, that’s why you work for the FBI.”

“Dessert Conflict Resolution was part of my training at Quantico.”

Both Scullys giggle.

“Does Fox have the same specialty? Or is that what you bring to the team?”

“Mulder’s dessert strategy is just to eat everything and then swim a mile and run five the next day. No, he’s a Takeout Menu Marksman, though. He knows where to order from and what to order so it travels the best and doesn’t get cold and congealed by the time it arrives. Might sound like a trivial skill, but it’s a lifesaver on movie night.”

Maggie continues smiling but cocks her head slightly. Dana realizes why almost instantly.

“You have movie night?”

“It’s not a set thing or anything. We just…if we’re not busy with a case.”

“You just watch movies? As coworkers?”

“As friends.”

“Just friends?”

Dana lets out a long sigh as she stares her mother down. Her mother, maintaining that gentle yet challenging grin. Dana considers her response carefully. She could offer a simple yes because that is the fact of the matter. They are just friends. She could criticize the wording choice. “Just” friends? Why does it have to be “just” friends? As if friendship isn’t somehow enough or isn’t valuable?

She could realize it’s her mother’s birthday and she’s the only other Scully woman left to confide in about matters of the heart, and although she doesn’t want to bring up the New Year’s kiss because she still doesn’t really know what it meant, maybe they both need this little gift of honesty, filled with tempered excitement and promise.

“For now,” Dana Scully finally admits.

Maggie’s grin grows as Scully just shakes her head and manages to keep her slight eye roll from reaching embarrassed teenager level. The waiter does bail her out a bit by choosing that moment to deliver their coffees.

“How is Fox doing? After his mother…” Maggie trails off, but her daughter knows not to expect any more specifics.

“Better? I mean, as well as can be expected. The thing is, right after that, he found out some more about his sister. About what happened to her. It was just so much all at once. I was really worried…”

Maggie reaches across the table to lay a hand on hers.

“But, it was almost like he was ready for it. He finally had some answers. Like it brought him some peace.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“Yeah. He needed that.”

“We all do.”

*************

Maggie is the one to spot him first as they’re heading for the door.

“Is that- is that Fox?” she asks her daughter.

“What? No, he wouldn't…” Dana trails off as she looks straight ahead to where her mother was indicating and confirms that it is indeed Fox Mulder, standing with his hands in his pockets and his eyes trained to the floor as he appears to be waiting near the vestibule for the restrooms.

“Mulder?” Scully questions as she approaches, her voice giving away her confusion and growing concern.

His head darts up in surprise, but a beaming smile of recognition quickly overtakes his face.

“Hey, Scully! Mrs. Scully, it’s so nice to see you!”

“You too, Fox,” Maggie kindly replies, although a quick glance to her daughter confirms her suspicion that Dana is still very confused by his presence.

“Did you…did you need something?” She suddenly feels silly for presuming that he must have come there with urgent news or a case or something, but why else would Fox Mulder be at Petrino’s on a Saturday night? Did his informants trade in clandestine meetings in parking garages for family-style Italian?

“Hmm?” Mulder asks.

“You didn’t come here to find me? I told you I was bringing my mom here for her birthday, didn’t I?” He didn’t look like he had rushed to the restaurant from the office or his apartment as she had originally assumed. He had clearly shaved and combed his hair nicely. He wore an olive green sweater with dark blue jeans and a black wool pea coat rather than his leather jacket. He had definitely made an effort.

“You did, but I thought you were going out tomorrow night on her actual birthday. Happy birthday, by the way, Mrs. Scully.”

“Thank you, Fox. I’m going to have lunch with some ladies from church after mass tomorrow, so I asked Dana if we could do Saturday night instead.”

“Ah. What a weird coincidence then. I can’t believe we didn’t see you at all during dinner.”

We.

Oh God.

Mulder was on a date.

Mulder was on a date in this restaurant on the night he thought Scully wasn’t going to be there. Mulder was on a date right after Scully had confessed to her mother (and herself) that their “just friends” status was in the process of changing. Mulder was on a date right after he’d been through so much pain but seemed to come out lighter and more open and he wanted to share it with someone…who wasn’t Dana Scully.

“So, you’ve already eaten then?” Maggie asks since her daughter appears unable to form a coherent statement at the moment.

“Yeah, we just finished. I’m just waiting for her…” he seems to trail off just to motion towards the restroom rather than say anything indelicate, but then he notices Maggie’s poorly masked look of concern toward Dana, and then he notices Dana’s completely unmasked look of shock.

And then he gets it.

“Oh, no! It’s not…I want you to meet her,” Mulder insists as he grabs a hold of both of Scully’s elbows and then glances anxiously toward the restroom door.

Dana Scully looks like she might be ill.

Thankfully Mulder only stammers a moment longer until the restroom door opens and he finds reprieve when a tall, thin woman appearing to be in her mid-60s walks through the door.

“Aunt Helen,” Mulder calls.

Somehow Scully’s eyes manage to get even wider as some of the color returns to her face.

“Aunt Helen, there are a few people I’d really like you to meet. This is my partner, Dana Scully, and this is her mother, Margaret Scully.”

Aunt Helen smiles widely in recognition, first shaking Maggie’s hand and then Dana’s. “It is such a pleasure to meet you both. I’ve heard such wonderful things.”

She lingers with her hand holding Dana’s while she says this, and the younger Scully is left blushing. She hazards a look at Mulder, but he doesn’t look embarrassed by this revelation. He holds her gaze with nothing but pride.

“This is my aunt, Helen Briggs. She’s my mom’s sister. She’s visiting for the weekend from Charlotte.”

They all kind of marvel over the fact that they were in the same restaurant and what a coincidence and oh, we were seated near the back bar, that must be why we didn’t see you and Scully is just starting to feel her pulse return to normal as Aunt Helen laments not having a chance to talk with the Scullys.

“Well, Dana and I skipped dessert so we could go to The Big Dipper for some ice cream. Would you two like to join us?”

“Oh, that would be lovely. As long as we’re not intruding,” says Aunt Helen.

“Not at all,” Scully assures her. “There is one catch, though.”

“It’s not real ice cream. It’s that Tofutti nonsense, isn’t it?” Mulder groans.

“It better not be,” Maggie insists. “I don’t know how she eats that stuff.”

Scully ignores her mother and her partner’s bad mouthing of her frozen treats as she returns her attention to Aunt Helen.

“I’m afraid if you want to come along, you will have to reveal a few good Young Mulder stories. And by ‘a few,’ I mean as many as you’ve got. And by ‘good,’ I mean the more embarrassing the better.”

“I’ll start thinking now,” Aunt Helen laughs.

“I knew I should’ve picked a different restaurant,” Mulder says regretfully.

***********

They’ve just sat down to a small, round table for four with their ice cream when Mulder stands up to get them all more napkins, and Aunt Helen retrieves a small, rectangular piece of paper from her purse that she then deftly slides to Dana.

“Oh my god!” Scully exclaims with joy.

Staring back at her from the paper is a very young Fox Mulder. She guesses he must be around 8 or 9 in the school photo. His long, sandy brown hair falls just above his eyebrows. He doesn’t have his distinctive nose yet, but his bottom lip is already a little pouty. The real give away is the eyes. He’s grinning for the camera, but his eyes still have that soulfulness, that slight sadness.

She’s surprised. She knows she shouldn’t be. His eyes didn’t suddenly change when Samantha was taken. His eyes were probably always like that.

But she had always assumed that the great tragedy had flipped a switch for Young Fox Mulder. That before that single event, he had certainly been a perfectly happy child. Funny and athletic, popular for sure. But the humor developed as a defense mechanism later in life. And the sports were a great physical release as well as an excuse to be out of the house as much as possible. She didn’t actually know what he was like before, but now that she thought about it, home life was probably never all that great if it eventually led to a father sacrificing one child and leaving the other to always live with the guilt and loss.

It was very possible that Fox Mulder had always been a little boy with a lot on his mind.

In contrast, present day, adult Fox Mulder looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world as he returns with extra napkins, ready to tuck into his chocolate peanut butter ice cream in a waffle cone – that is until he realizes what his friend and partner Dana Scully is looking at.

“Oh come on. I was gone for thirty seconds, and you have the visual aids out.”

Scully continues to beam as Maggie finally gets a glimpse of the photo in her hand.

“Oh, Fox!”

“Okay,” Mulder said exasperatedly. “Does this meet your embarrassment quota?” he asks, looking pointedly at Scully.

“Not even close! This isn’t embarrassing. It’s adorable!”

Mulder rolls his eyes but can’t hide his bashful grin at her comment.

“It’s only fair, Fox. I know you’ve seen family photos of Dana at my house,” Mrs. Scully says, sounding like a mother well practiced in settling disputes between children.

“Just a couple. I do like that high school graduation picture, though. I still don’t know how you kept your cap on with all that hair.”

“That was the style back then. Everybody teased their hair and used a ton of hairspray.”

“I thought it might be a religious thing at Catholic school. The higher the hair, the closer to God,” Mulder teases.

Maggie and Aunt Helen chuckle, though the latter gives him a good-natured swat on the arm in admonishment.

“See, this is what I need, though. I need something from the teen years. That’s peak embarrassment fodder,” Scully says.

“If you ask our colleagues, I think my peak embarrassment fodder would come from about 1991 to present,” Mulder points out.

Aunt Helen just looks slightly regretful. “I’m afraid I don’t have many stories from those years, Dana.”

Mulder makes eye contact with Aunt Helen. “You didn’t miss much,” he insists. She looks like she wants to debate him, but he just places a hand on hers reassuringly, and they seem to make a silent agreement to not argue the point any further.

Mulder had never really mentioned any other family before. She knew his grandparents had all passed before she met him, but she had assumed, just like with everything else, that any other extended family connections had disappeared along with Samantha. That no one would know how to comfort and console The Mulders in a situation like that, with no explanation.

His aunts and uncles must have had questions, probably even had their own theories. Did his mother’s side suspect his father’s involvement, or did his father’s side blame his mother somehow? Did any of them blame…no, she couldn’t go down that route. Besides, did anyone ever suspect horrific things like that before the days of cable news and supermarket tabloids?

The point is, it was a tense situation, so Scully assumed they had all done what wealthy white people in places like Martha’s Vineyard and Boston and Raleigh did with any uncomfortable subject – they avoided it completely.

And that meant avoiding the little boy with a lot on his mind as he became a teenager with even more on his mind.

Scully had accompanied Mulder to a small burial service for his mother in Raleigh a few months ago. It was just the service. No gathering or dinner after, or at least not one that Mulder told her about. The attendees at the service were all pretty spread out, not much mingling. Again, it was another sudden loss shrouded in mystery. They all avoided particulars as much as they could.

Scully didn’t remember seeing Aunt Helen that day, but maybe she was there and just couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Maybe she wasn’t there because she couldn’t bring herself to go and then regretted it. Dana Scully didn’t know, and it didn’t actually matter. The point is that she’s here now. And that’s exactly what Mulder’s look of reassurance and acceptance seems to say.

It seems to help her perk up because she offers playfully, “Oh, what about that summer on Quonochontaug? I think you were 9 or so, and you were collecting leaves for one of your Indian Guide badges.”

“Oh god!”

“I’m hooked already. Not to jump ahead, but please tell me there’s poison ivy involved,” Scully says gleefully.

Aunt Helen’s bark of laughter and Mulder’s exaggerated eye roll are all the confirmation she needs.

“It was heavily involved! But that’s not the worst part. While he was working on his Leaf Collecting badge, he also earned credit towards his Wildlife badge when he came across a skunk in the woods.”

“No!” Scully shouts.

“Ivyed and skunked at the same time,” Mulder admits.

“Oh you poor thing,” Maggie adds sympathetically, but with barely contained laughter.

“He had to jump right from a tomato juice bath for the skunk smell…”

“Which didn’t work!”

“…into an oatmeal bath for the itching.”

“Which worked better, but I still smelled like a Grateful Dead concert.”

Both Scullys are full on giggling at this point.

“Do you remember what Grandpa Ralph said when he walked in and saw you and mom dunking me in a tub of oatmeal?” Mulder asks.

Aunt Helen pitches her voice deeper and amps up her Southern twang, “Why don’t cha dip him in some egg and flour next? We toss him in the frying pan, we got supper! We’re havin’ Fried Fox tonight!”

Now they’re all in hysterics. Even the man who usually hates his given name can’t help but laugh along, especially when it makes his lovely company so happy.

*****************

Scully enters the basement office Monday morning to find Mulder already there, flipping through an open drawer in the filing cabinet.

“Good morning,” she says cheerfully.

He looks up and smiles. “Good morning. Long time no see.”

“How was the rest of your weekend? Did you guys do any sightseeing or anything?”

“No, we just had a late breakfast yesterday before I took her to the airport, but it was good to catch up some more. She told me to thank you again for letting us tag along for ice cream. It was really nice.”

“It was,” Scully agrees.

Mulder appears to be considering something for a moment before he crosses over to the desk and picks up a small envelope.

“She also told me to give this to you,” he says almost bashfully, extending the envelope in Scully’s direction. “She told me I couldn’t look inside, and I didn’t. But I think I know what’s in there, and if I’m right, you don’t have to keep it. You can just leave it here on the desk.”

Well, now she’s intrigued. Scully opens the envelope to find a small handwritten note at the top.

“I thought you might like these. I have plenty more too, if you’d ever like to see them or want any more stories. Please don’t be a stranger.”

Scully lifts up the note to see the remaining contents inside and finds a small stack of photographs, a mixture of more school photos along with a few wallet-sized family portraits and a couple candids taken on the beaches of the Vineyard or Rhode Island, she can’t tell. But she sees the same set of eyes in all of them.

She looks back to read the rest of the note.

“I’m so glad I got to meet you, Dana. Take care!”

Below Aunt Helen’s elegant signature, she has also written her home address and phone number. Scully will have to call and thank her.

“She tried to give some to me,” Mulder explains, “but I didn’t really want…and like I said, you don’t have to…”

“No, I’d like to keep them,” Dana insists.

Mulder lets her statement hang in the air for a moment, but he can’t help but diffuse it.

“You just want more blackmail material.”

“Something like that,” Scully says teasingly, but there’s no bite behind it.

“I knew I should’ve picked a different restaurant.”

She chuckles lightly as she shuffles the photos into a neat stack to place back in the envelope, thinking that this is the point where they get back to work. Mulder stays standing in front of her and appears to be considering something again. Does he have another envelope that he’s afraid to give her?

“You know it was pure luck that we ended up at Petrino’s the same night as you. I actually gave Aunt Helen a few options and let her choose. I was pushing more for that Thai place in Arlington, just off Old Dominion. The one that’s been there forever,” Mulder explains.

“Oh, the one with the secret menu? I’ve still never been there. Can’t say I’m surprised that Aunt Helen wasn’t up for Thai food, though.”

“Yeah. Fair point,” Mulder nods for a moment too long before continuing. “Would you like to go there sometime? Like this Saturday? With me?”

Scully slowly looks up from the envelope to see Mulder’s face because in all matters, other than the divine, Dana Scully needs to see to believe. And the slightly nervous yet gentle grin that she finds allows her to believe it to be true – Fox Mulder has just asked her out on a real date.

“I would like that,” Scully says gently.

“Good. You wanna say 7:30? Or we can always figure out time later,” Mulder states, aiming for practicality to keep him from grinning like a complete idiot. He ends up grinning like a moderate idiot, but he’s okay with that.

“Sounds good.”

Yep, Scully will definitely have to call Aunt Helen and thank her.