#one fic he was working on a project w she and now they’re kinda friends which drives snow mental

[snowbirds-and-snakelets]

if i had a nickel for every snowjanus fic i’ve read where felix is used narratively to make coriolanus jealous i’d have three nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened thrice

[sneezefiction]

Atsumu, Akaashi, and Iwaizumi w/ a Kindergarten Teacher S/O

Atsumu, Akaashi, and Iwaizumi x reader - headcanons

request: “i just read your fic ab the reader being a kindergarten teacher and i LOVED IT. do you think we can get another one but with atsumu, akaashi, and iwa? 🥺 I LOVE YOUU AND YOUR WRITING AHHH”

a/n: ahh my laptop has my asks jacked up rn, so sorry @parkersvibes !! but i had the exact request copied down! this is a part 2 to this post :)) really hope you like it and thank u for being so uber sweet, i love this hc💕💕

warnings: none!

wc: 1040

—-

Atsumu:

okay please don’t be surprised by this - Atsumu doesn’t exactly like kids

he’s currently dealing w/ an ongoing children’s volleyball introductory camp that his team was forced to run and he is horrified

ends up making several of them cry, which totally turned him off to the whole “kids” thing

however, he also had the chance to meet you at that camp

he noticed how gentle you were around them, helping them up when they fell, praising them for their “hard work”

he lacked that softness. the comforting, encouraging kind…

so before he even realizes it, he’s walked up to you and started flirting (it’s second nature for this boy at this point)

“What’s a cutie like you...” He’ll look you up and down, “doin’ round here?” He tilts his head, a smirk forming on his lips

“I dunno? Maybe I’m here to cheer up all the crying kids you keep sending to me?” You reply sassily

you’re just... annoyed? the stupid face he’s making after messing with these poor kids is pissing you off

Atsumu wasn’t expecting any sass from you, but since then he’s been pining after you at every break and scheming for new ways to catch your attention

it turns out, you’re the kindergarten teacher for a majority of the little one’s attending and you signed up to chaperone and support them over the next couple of weeks

like, he has no capacity for their complaints and misunderstandings of a sport since he’s been playing professionally for years now

you’re officially an angel in his eyes

not only are you drop-dead gorgeous, but you can also #1 understand what they’re saying?? And #2 you genuinely care about them, their feelings (trivial or not,) and their experience at the camp

he’ll definitely ask you out after the camp is over

you turn him down twice lmao

but the third time!! he doesn’t use any lines or sensual approaches, he’s just chill about it

he’ll ask if you want to go roller skating… so you’re finally just like

“What the hell, why not.”

i mean he is cute and funny, so what could go wrong?

he ended up acknowledging that he sucks at dealing with kids and that he’d try to be gentler around them…

like if he’s actually willing to work on being “okay” with kids, that really means something, bc wow they bother him sometimes

he just adores you, bby

Akaashi:

i imagine that he’d also be a kindergarten teacher at your school

he was quiet for a long time, preferring to observe you and his new coworkers over time, but over the years y’all have gotten super close

there’s now a daily rhythm between you two:

you both meet up in the morning and put on a pot of coffee in the breakroom

he’ll meet your tired eyes with his own. the dark circles make it apparent that y’all are still waking up

you’ll send each other knowing, goofy smiles bc your sleep schedules are so wrecked right now, especially since it’s almost time for the holidays

the schools required art projects are getting out of hand and all the teachers are kinda pissed about it

but instead of complaining, Akaashi will suggest you both go shopping for materials and plan ideas together

it seems like a perfectly normal suggestion, bc you’re teachers and this would be more “efficient”, right? totally not an excuse to hangout w/ you

you’re in for such a treat

he comes to pick you up that Saturday, a coffee ready for you in his hand (he remembered the exact way you make it in the classroom)

also, he’s got this great scarf and jacket combination going on (like this: here)

sorry but not really, this totally turns into a date and you both completely forget about the supplies you were supposed to buy

like, yeah you’ll make it to the store, but he’ll ask you if you’re hungry (which you are) and suddenly he’s taking you to the ramen shop you mentioned weeks ago while on your lunch break

at some point, he’ll have you laughing about some story about a kid from class who keeps acting up

you’ll end up falling out of your chair from laughing so hard and he’ll start laughing at you

while you’re both still snickering, he crouches down to the ground and asks you to this with him again next Saturday

you’re so down (literally)

y’all are the cutest teacher couple. ever.

Iwaizumi:

i see Iwa as being a young, single dad in this situation ✨✨✨

you first meet at the beginning of the school year for a parent-teacher conference and it actually goes so smoothly

he brings his adorable baby girl (your new student), her hair in pigtails, and she’s grabbing onto daddy Iwaizumi’s leg

you first introduce yourself to the girl and then give Iwa a bright smile

i mean, as a teacher, you do your best to be professional and polite, but you can’t help but ask him about himself and crack a few jokes

he and his daughter deem you precious, immediately.

Iwaizumi is so protective of his shy, little girl, but he finds himself very comfortable with letting you teach and watch over her

he definitely finds you on facebook when he gets home and realizes y’all have mutual friends

so instead of just adding you as a friend, like a normal person, he decides to message your mutuals and devise something to meet you in person

what can I say? the dude hasn’t been in the dating field for awhile, so he’s not sure what he’s doing right now

basically you get set up for a one sided blind date (oop)

you find yourself waiting at an ice cream shop for a guy with short, dark-brown hair, an athletic build, and gorgeous brown eyes

but what they didn’t tell you was that he would be bringing a little someone along with him

at first, you just see his little girl waving to you

you stand up, giving her a big hug when she runs up to you

then you look up

oh… OH

Iwaizumi matches that description to a T.

y’all spend the rest of the day skipping (mostly just Iwa’s daughter though) around town and holding hands

so yeah, you’re dating your kindergarten student’s father now

and he’s really sweet and really hot

—-

tags: @cherryonigiri @parkersvibes @omgaspers

[halfhappyhooligan]

a voltron au? in 2020? it’s more likely than you think

look. LOOK. i know that voltron is stupid and we hate it but lets be honest: everything up until season 3 was pretty good and had lots of potential !!

today i was rewatching voltron and a thought struck me: what if, instead of shiro being cloned, he was chipped and turned to the side of the galra?

so here it is, i did not blink since i thought of this

(warning, i have not seen voltron in a while and this is just knowledge i have stored in my moss brain and stuff i know from rewatching the first season)

au where shiro goes evil bc of what happens @ end of season one instead of the clone thing bc 1) haggar rly could not have made thousands of shiros after bumping into team voltron like what twice? its hella improbable and 2) just… weird

so instead they insert a chip in him that helps them spy and control him just like kuron (the clone) did minus the unlikely storytelling

eventually after the convo with sendak when he was in the pod trying to temp shirp, he does have thoughts about helping zarkon

(“im already infiltrated with the arm, i could just speed up the process by leaving now. save the team the trouble of investing in a leader that’s doomed to fail from the strart.”)

shiro ends up leaving team voltron in season 2 after zarkon goes crazy w the black lion n stuff

^^ this adds to Keith’s reasoning of joining the Blade of Marmora (shiro is his main stability and one of the main reasons he even stuck around with team voltron, so with shiro gone and keith questioning his place as the leader and paladin of the black lion, he decides the BoM is just.. what’s best for him) 

obviously lance isn’t happy with this (“you just told me that i’m a valuable member, now you don’t think YOU are? what logic is that?”)

ofc keith goes anyways

lance becomes paladin of the black lion

allura takes on the red lion

who has blue lion? ...idk this isn’t that thought out (maybe matt after pidge finds her family) (which will happen earlier in the plot since we can forget about the miniplot of black no longer responding to shiro)

enter lotor only this time he has a sidekick and what omg its shiro wow

shiro has that bigger version of his arm that was once offered to him

he’s stronger and scary, but his eyes aren’t the same, he has the strength of a galra but lacks the passion 

in the fight between lotor and zarkon, (and after, of course lots of self doubt and questioning) shiro comes between them and convinces lotor NOT to kill zarkon

then zarkon kills lotor

everyones like oh shit bc surely someone who’s life was just spared wouldn’t kill the person who seems to have the most power

but he did. bc he’s zarkon. and he’s fckn crazy.

shiro doesn’t go back to team voltron bc its too much too easily

instead he takes the place of lotor in the group of gals 

he convinces them all to rebel against the galra

eventually they teach him all about quintessence and all the shit lotor had planned that they can’t do anymore

(lotor wasn’t harvesting alteans in this universe bc what the heck even was that subplot that had little to no relevance to the main storyline?

instead he was trying to find a way to technologically bring back alteans (kinda like how allure’s dad was originally preserved in s1)

i know nothing about How Stuff Works and i dont remember much about quintessence n shit but the basic idea is that when tying in some of a persons artifacts with technology stuff and some quintessence then boom. a weird route from astral projection land to the team is created and ppl can come back or smth idfk

but lotor was never able to get the comet so shiro decides he and the gals will get that comet and try to bring back as many alteans as they can

^ all this while infiltrating as many galra fleets as possible + saving planets under galra empire

they personally visit every planet that lotor was in charge of and release them from galra control

they are able to bring back an altean (its romelle) and she talks abt her friend who lives on the balmera and they go to the balmera and its revealed that it was shay’s great grandmother so romelle asks where shay is and shay’s family is like with team voltron of course

so

they take her

obviously team voltron, the BoM and the Rebels r very hesitant to make contact but they decide to try it out

keith refuses to meet, instead he’s on the team that stands guard

reunions !! 

romelle and shay hit it off and hunk makes a dinner much like roselle’s past (allura and coran also hang out and they all vibe)

lance talks to shiro abt everything to do with keith and shiro is like dude do u??? like him?

and lance is like what? no ofc not—oh shit.

and keith ✨overhears ✨

pidge matt and shiro catch up n shit

meanwhile keith is like Hey Lance Uhhhhhh What The Fuck

they end up being like hey since we’re all here and we hate zarkon what if we make a plan to end the galra’s reign Right Now

so they do

and y’all.. it’s hella baller plan

except something is going wrong and in the middle of an attack zarkon is able to get the upper hand 

due to haggar’s magic and lance’s mental and emotional instability, zarkon is able to get in his head

everyone is trying to talk him down but they’re all under a lot of pressure

allura is also conflicted bc she wanted to be black lion bc she wanted to rub it in to zarkon’s face that she was stronger than he and that she could beat him at his own game

but the negativity and instability feeds into zarkon’s power and makes him and haggar stronger as they pull in voltron to finally take over the team and regain their status as the most powerful alien race

hunk realizes this and is like okay can y’all stop being negative? its clearly affecting them in a good way and it makes us an easier target

and pidge is like im literally a child pls i don’t wanna die i just got my family back it can’t end like this

shiro realizes what’s going on and he goes to save them

he uses all his energy, pulling in the positive memories (everything: first learning about space, becoming a teacher, meeting adam, meeting keith, first making team voltron, his friends and family--all of it) to push back zarkon and haggar’s powers and battle once more in the astral realm 

in defeating zarkon, shiro loses his life

afterwards keith enters the ship in a hurry and is like where the fuck is shiro where’s my brother what did you do what happened

and team voltron is like hey man.. we are so so sorry

and keith cries because the last thing he ever said to shiro was mean

lance feels like its all his fault since he was supposed to be a good leader

they talk about separately while hunk pidge and allura discuss

krolia is like keith we, ur family, are here for u

and axca is there and shes like um?? hey?? sry for trying to kill u bro

and he’s like i absolutely do not wanna talk i just lost my closest friend

they talk about it later

axca tells keith abt shiro finishing lotor’s work and abt bringing people back and well.. 

they use the methods to help keith visit shiro in the astral realm

shiro is like oh uh hey i was just having a drink w adam we r happy

and keith is like shiro u fuckhead why would u sacrifice urself

shiro sighs bc cmon keith you KNOW why “remember what i always said? we can’t focus on what went wrong..”

“we’ve got to figure out how to make it right” keith finishes

keith breaks tf down crying and screams apologizing

“i love u shiro. ur a like a big brother to me.”

and shiro is like yeah i know and ilyt but hey. everyone’s safe and happy. im safe and happy. & you deserve to be too. you don’t need me anymore.

so the galra rule is over and everyone goes to their respected planets

romelle and the other alteans as well as some galra babes hang in earth

romelle and shay r in an apartment together and have a garden

allura realizes she may not have been the strongest leader for voltron, and  couldn’t stop zarkon on her own but that physical strength doesn’t define her as a whole

her heart is strong enough to care for everyone, so thats what she does

allura starts running an inn for alteans filled with painted sceneries like altea in case anyone ever needs a reminder of home

when lance reunites with his family its a real tearjerker

rachel finally gets her jacket back and veronica is like So.. Axca 👀

the McClain’s host a huge party for everyone and it’s filled with lots of hugs and loud music and even tho lance was way too tired, he danced all night

he wouldn’t trade his family for the world—genetic and chosen

when hunk reunites with his parents they don’t let him out the house for hours, he tells them all about his new best friend shay as well as hundreds of his favorites stories from space

they are so, so proud of him

hunk spends the next days playing minecraft and animal crossing with pidge, giving their brains a rest from being on hyperdrive for 3 yrs straight

when pidge gets home she finally gets grounded by her mom, only being allowed to leave the house to see her old teammates

(same for matt and her dad)

(her mother cries so hard when they opened the door to the home)

the holt family holds movie nights filled with popcorn, cuddles, and tears

keith moves in with the holt family, and finally accepts that he has a home as well as a family

he often goes on trips with the BoM but mostly just stays on earth

after a Team Voltron sleepover in the altea inn keith and lance decide to get an apartment together and live their lives in love and in peace

everyone gets together once a year in celebration of shiro and the sacrifice he made for them

they use the ship to visit Astral Shiro and once they even met adam

everyone laughs and catches up and just... live their lives

everyone is happy

pls ignore any and all errors lmao

again, just a thought !! maybe i’ll write a fic abt it idk for sure but yeah

feel free to add anything <3

[e-vasong]

hi!! I just wanted to ask about the daemon AU--do you have a headcanon abt when their daemons would settle? or did they just settle after puberty? Did 5's daemon settle before or after the apocolypse?

AH!! this is such a good question.  I’m gonna put a cut after this first bit, though, because I took a simple question and accidentally...wrote a 2k thing that kinda straddles the line between answering your question and being a freeform fic? whoops.

Okay.  So I think all the kids probably settle a little later than normal for most people.  It’s been a while since I read the books, but I recall that most daemons, though not all, settle towards the start of puberty.  I headcanon that trauma is one of the things that can push that process back, and all the Hargreeves kids have that in abundance.  Not to mention that I don’t think isolating your kids from a normal childhood and forcing them into a vigilante lifestyle is exactly helpful for their development.

Luther settles first, a day after their thirteenth birthday.  It happens without much fanfare, while they’re resting at home after a mission.  There’s not much a golden retriever can do on a mission that another animal can’t do just as well or better, and Reginald really emphasizes the utility of their daemons above all else.  But sometimes Luther likes to let Amalthea turn into big, soft things when their dad isn’t looking.  He likes them, even if Diego mocks him relentlessly for it.  And that afternoon Amalthea plops down on his chest and turns into a golden retriever, licking at his chin to comfort him after the verbal excoriation their father had given them after the mission had gone wrong at every possible turn.  It’s a miracle none of them were hurt.  That scares Luther more than anything else.  How close he’d come to failing and getting someone killed.  And they don’t even realize that she’s settled until like an hour later when they’re headed downstairs and Amalthea tries to shift back into a form that their father will find dignified and just...can’t.

Klaus settles next much to everyone’s surprise.  It happens a few months after Luther.  Their father has them locked in the crypt again, and it’s particularly bad tonight.  Klaus can see them everywhere, tearing at his clothes, clawing at his skin, and he can barely breathe.  They go after Cassandra just as eagerly as they do him, but she’s harder to catch.  Suddenly she’s a falcon, an ermine, a rat scuttling through a new hole in the wall that their father must have missed.  And then she’s outside.  Twelve, thirteen feet away maybe, and it pulls at the connection between them, almost to the point of being painful.  Hurts enough to gear Klaus out of his catatonic haze and get him to push through the throng of ghosts just to get a couple feet closer to her.  And then Cassandra is a cicada, fluttering up to the lock.  And then she’s a raccoon, clawing futilely at it with those deft, clever fingers, but unable to work it open without anything to jimmy the lock open with.  Yet she’s also trapped by their bond, unable to venture and look for something to use.  And so she tries to shift back to rat, to get back inside, and just.  Doesn’t.  Can’t.  So Klaus stills his breathing long enough to stumble over to the door of the crypt, pressing his back flat against it and trying to still his breathing.  Cassandra curls up in a small ball in front of the door.  And they stay like that all night, until their father comes to let them out in the morning.

Allison, Diego, and Vanya all settle pretty close together, towards the end of their thirteenth year and the start of their fourteenth.

Allison settles on a mission.  She’s so busy rumoring a bad guy into killing his friends that she doesn’t notice the one behind her until Diego drops to the ground with a muffled cry of pain.  She makes a noise, a hoarse-sounding scream of shock and surprise.  But she’s well-trained enough to wrestle her gut reaction under control quickly.  She whips around, a rumor already on her lips, but before she can say anything Alexander is there.  A flash of muted gold and black, not hulking but still larger than she expects.  He jumps, first onto a table.  The spring inside a loaded gun.  Fifty pounds of coiled muscle and snarling rage.  Then he leaps again, surprisingly agile.  There’s a flash of canine, long and sharp.  The man dies with a gurgle, and when Alexander pads over to Diego’s injured body, licking at their brother’s face with concern, Allison sees that those white teeth are bloody and red.

Diego settles during one of their sneak-outs.  They’re walking along the pier, eating fish tacos they bought from a vendor nearby.  Ben is reading as they walk, flipping pages idly.  He’s not paying attention to where they’re going, though Luther keeps trying to get him to put the book down.  But then Diego had told Luther to lay the fuck off, and that had turned into a whole thing, and Ben’s still reading his book.  If Five were here, there wouldn’t be any concern about it.  He’d had that sort of quiet, watchful way about him, where you knew that even if he wasn’t actively stopping you from doing something, he was still keeping an eye out to make sure it didn’t kill you.  If Five were here, he’d have made them take Vanya.  If Five were here...

But he isn’t.  He’s probably off somewhere, living happily away from their father and from them.  Asshole.  It’s an uncharitable thought, and Guinevere would bite him for it if he said it out loud, but Diego is so caught up in his anger that he doesn’t see Ben walk into the pole until its too late.  

Ben swears, hands flying to his face automatically.  Klaus bursts into hysterical laughter.  Allison’s gasps, putting a hand to her mouth.  Ben’s book tumbles out of his hands and into the water, and Guinevere--also laughing--follows it, turning small and furry as she does.  She doesn’t catch it before it gets soaked, but she gets the book in her teeth and paddles over to a small ladder that drops down off the dock.  Ben turns to thank her, but Diego is too distracted to catch what he says.  Diego just settled, he’s pretty sure.  He can feel it in his bones.  He’d kind of been hoping for something that would prove once and for all that he’s better than Luther, but frankly their father isn’t going to be any more pleased with otter than golden retriever.  That’s kind of a bummer.  But when he kneels down to let Guinevere scramble up his arm and around his neck, he can’t really bring himself to care.  She’s Gwen, and he’s Diego, and if their father has anything to say about it?  Well then.  He can go fuck himself.

Vanya settles that winter.  She’s playing her violin in the living room.  Ben is sitting nearby.  They aren’t hanging out, not exactly.  None of her siblings really hang out with her, not since Five, but Ben maybe comes the closest.  Calliope usually takes the form of a cat, winding around Vanya’s ankles as she plays.  She used to turn into a capuchin sometimes, to flip the pages of Vanya’s music, but Io has more or less soured Vanya on monkey daemons these days.  But still.  Things are nice, and today they are in a particularly good mood.  Ben’s company is comforting; it’s nice not to be alone; and Vanya hasn’t missed a single note.  So today, Calliope flutters up onto her shoulder and sings along with her.  And she never changes back.  And when Vanya shyly shows her to their family later, Reginald sniffs, disdainful, having barely spared them a flicker of a glance.  Just a songbird, he says dismissively.  And that is that.

(And later, years and years later, Leonard peers into the veil of Vanya’s hair.

“Is that your daemon?” he asks affably.  He looks unbothered by the way Vanya cringes.  His orb weaver is crawling up the sleeve of his shirt, looking almost like a toy or a strange decorative pin.

“Yeah,” Vanya says.  Cal is a bundle of fluffed-up feathers nestled in the crook of Vanya’s neck.  She huddles in closer at the sight of Leonard’s attention.

“What is she?” Leonard asks, then holds his hands up apologetically.  “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Just a songbird.”

“Just a songbird?” Leonard echoes.  He leans in closer.  “Hey, she’s a...great tit, right?  I’ve read about those.”

“Oh?” Vanya asks, bracing herself for whatever is going to come next.  Leonard is a nice guy; she’s sure he means well.  It doesn’t mean that what he says next isn’t going to hurt.

“Yeah,” Leonard smiles at her.  “You’re right.  They are songbirds.  But they’re more than that.”

Vanya pauses, lifts a hand to her hair uncertainly.  She hadn’t expected that.  “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m surprised your family didn’t ever say anything to you, I have to admit.  They are songbirds, Vanya.  But they’re hunters too,” Harold says.  There’s wonder in his eyes, and when Vanya looks up to meet his gaze, he just smiles.)

Ben, like Luther, settles without much fuss.  Once a week, since they turned ten, they’ve had a designated time to try out new forms for their daemon.  Their father brings out books on zoology.  Gives them specimen after specimen to try.  Ben isn’t quite sure that this is how it’s supposed to work.  All accepted science suggests that settling is half a physical affair and half a mental one.  It’s not just about finding the right shape, it's about state of mind as well.  Amalthea is a golden retriever, but if she had tried that form when Luther was eight, Ben doubts that she would have settled.  But their father doesn’t much seem to care, nor does he seem to understand.  Then again, Io and their father have a dynamic that Ben doesn’t quite get either.  They seem less like human and daemon and more like warden and prison guard.  But maybe that’s just Ben projecting.

Melpomene takes to their father’s training with more courage than Ben does.  His stomach hurts; he wishes that he could go back to bed. This is worse now.  All the others have settled, and Ben’s been doing this part of their training alone for almost a year.  But Mel is braver than Ben is, and she takes the lead.  So they go down the list, while their father watches with those piercing eyes.  Io is perched on the desk, lips drawing back from his teeth whenever Ben so much as twitches a muscle in the wrong direction.

Mel turns into a large octopus.  A cassowary.  A vulture, a great Philippine Eagle, a Sumatran rhino, a spectacled caiman.

And then she stops.  Tries to shift again.

“I’m stuck,” Mel declares, sounding just as surprised as Ben feels.  Their father’s back straightens, and it’s the nearest thing he’s ever given Ben to pride.  He peers over his spectacles.  Nods.

“This is acceptable,” their father says, like there’s any other option.  It’s not like Ben can do anything about it, but he holds his tongue and stares at the floor again.  A predator.  A scary one, not like Guinevere or Amalthea.  Even Alexander is cuddly.  Crocodilians, though, people hate.  This isn’t how Ben wanted his settling to go.  He hadn’t wanted their father to be right.

Ben’s stomach twists.  He feels something nudge against the inner lining of his gut, like it’s trying to escape, and ignores it.

“Dismissed, Number Six,” their father says, and when Ben turns to go his eyes feel wet.

And Five...Ugh.  I’m debating how much of this I want to share, because I actually have this scene written elsewhere?  But Five settles last.  Five settles last by no small margin, not just chronologically, but by age as well.  Five settles late even among other late bloomers.  He settles when he’s eighteen.  Approximately.  It’s hard to keep track of days in the Apocalypse; Five is good with numbers and has a great memory, but it’s been five years by this point and the days are starting to blur, even for him.  The lateness of his settling comes from a combination of trauma, a lack of socialization, and the fact that he is desperately trying to avoid it.  He and Dolores keep a list of forms that they know are safe, forms that she’s taken again and again and hasn’t settled in yet.  

Because in the Apocalypse, an unsettled daemon is an incredible asset.  She can be a hawk, fluttering up to a roof to scout for places to salvage.  A wolf, sniffing out supplies.  An elephant, moving rubble and bricks so they can turn what remains of the library’s atrium into a makeshift shelter.  And a bear, warm and hardy.  That form’s kept Five from freezing to death for the past several winters.  But the thing about nature is that it always finds a way.  They can only fight it for so long.  And one night Five wakes up, and Dolores is a snake, and she can’t shift out.  She’s cold, too.  The night temperatures are too much for her now.  

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, she says to Five, almost frantic with it.

It’s fine, he tells her as she curls up under his jacket, soaking up the warmth radiating from his chest.  You’re beautiful.  It sounds like a lie.  It kind of feels like one too, even though he means it. 

This should be a wonderful thing.  It would have been, under almost any other circumstances. 

They do make it, of course.  We know that.  Five is clever and he is determined and he has no choice but to survive.  He will accept no other outcome, and he’s right in that.  They suffer, but they live.  They win and they get back to their family.  

In the moment, though, they are just a seventeen-year-old boy and his daemon, entirely alone in a world that doesn’t care whether they live or die, and it mainly feels like a death sentence.

(BUT THEN ALSO THEY ALL REUNITE WHEN FIVE TIME TRAVELS BACK AND BEN COMES BACK TO LIFE SOMEHOW AND LEARNS SELF LOVE AND THEY ALL RECOVER FROM THEIR TRAUMA TOGETHER YEE HAW)

[hope-remnant]

I currently don’t have any v3 plans mostly because while I’m watching the okiedokidev streamed playthrough, they’re only 1/2 through chapter 1 so like, I’ve seen the characters (and accidentally was spoiled for some things maybe through tumblr osmosis/not being careful on discord), but I don’t KNOW them yet. Gonta is so good though. Also because I like symmetry I might prefer if I had a fourth game to swap the pools of talents, so I might never do it.

I DO have plans to make more content, maybe even a full fic series?? Or just collections of like, chronologically ordered drabbles? I have a full outline of everything for the first killing game, and I know what happens pre-despair and stuff, as well as bits of the second killing game and some dynamics once they’re in the future foundation.

Toko: She still has a pet stinkbug! Syo insisted on having her own pet bug and has a pet praying mantis. They also don’t wear their school uniforms unless it’s like, a day where everyone Knows there’s going to be pictures taken for a publicity thing, so they have a mechanic’s jumpsuit instead with cute patches, because oil stains.

She and Syo kinda resent each other, because both of them dislike relying on another person, but neither of them could complete a full project without the other.

Also Toko has even less of a filter on swearing and name calling because most of the adults in their fields don’t care. She 100% has sworn in important meetings and presentations where she presents something groundbreaking and all the adults are just like yeah that can be a bitch sometimes.

Sayaka: She and Makoto became friends in middle school! Sayaka went out to care for the heron that got on campus and found this kid taking pictures of the bird! Though they kinda drifted apart pretty easily, Makoto was figuring out he was trans and was like oh god i cant even be FRIENDS with girls for a sec there because he was like 11. They became friends again before Hope’s Peak though!!

Sayaka specializes in birds, and does a lot of work rehabilitating or having a home for exotic animals that can’t go back into the wild yet, or at all. She definitely visits that one owl cafe that I think exists in Japan and is like. FINALLY MY PEOPLE. She usually gets free food at animal cafes as long as they can like, make a post w/ a picture of her for social media and she can check the animal’s welfare.

She’s one of the ones who tries to reach out to Kyoko the most in their Hope’s Peak years, but she never really succeeds because she treats Kyoko a bit like a frightened animal instead of a person and Kyoko can tell and hates it, instead of realizing that Sayaka is just trying her best.

Mikan: Most of Mikan reaching out to people is a result of her watching them like, try to punch a wall or someone else and internally going ‘oh gosh they’re going to break their thumb if they punch like that’ and feeling compelled to help them.

While she has a lot of anxiety in general and especially around social interactions with kids her age, it’s even worse when she feels unsafe as if someone would physically attack her, so parts of her clumsiness is her looking around or over her shoulder instead of whats right under her feet.

She gets that assertive quality about her when she’s teaching self defense, she’ll be excitable about being useful but also she wants to do it right so she doesn’t take no for an answer at some point.

At some point in their Hope’s Peak years she has a rough match and breaks her opponent’s collarbone and nose, and even though her opponent knew that if they didn’t tap out they’d be seriously injured, they stayed in, and she didn’t stop because when she gets into the right mindset winning is all that matters, and she’ll be ruthless if she has to be.

So this goes viral because it looked worse than it really was, and although there’s no question that she won fair and square and it was a legal move, it just spreads around the school. People never saw her and thought she was the Ultimate Martial Artist before, they saw a stumbling and anxious girl, probably some kind of artist, right? Sure she wore bandages, but how would people know they were specifically for her wrists and knuckles in a fight, considering so many eccentric fashion choices at HPA. Everyone is scared of her now, as scared as they usually are of the Ultimate Soldier or Biker Gang Leader. Class 77b have to rally around her, reassure her that she’s not scary, she’s a teenager like the rest of them! And it really helps give her more confidence in the long run!

[mavspeed]

First Line Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Hey @applesfallingfromblondehair, thanks for the tag love!! likewise i dont usually do this but this feels interesting so lets see if my ass has improved over the last few stories lmfkjgjk

also this will prob be a mix of xmcu fic + kingsman fic bc i think i have a more or less equal number of fics written for both

1.

The first time Charles meets Lucifer Morningstar, actual devil from hell, ruler of the underworld, fallen son of the lord above and god knows what else, it had been after Erik had been sentenced to life imprisonment in the highest security cell in the Pentagon. 

- this is from a professor and a devil walk into a bar, which is kinda a crossover rarepair fic that rose out of me and mutuals on twitter discussing tom ellis and james mcavoy being roommates and kinda... devolved from there. i am proud of this one lmfnjgkj

2.

“Are you okay, Professor?” Hank asks quietly.

Charles blinks. He supposes it’s a valid question. He’s been in a bit of a funk the past few days- scratch that actually, the past few years. He’s just lost so much- his father, and then his mother’s love, and then Raven and Erik and Sean and countless others. Building a school, gaining students he loved to teach and nurture hadn’t helped him in the slightest, and he’s as lost as he ever was, wandering the halls of a drafty mansion alone, feeling like he’s been stranded at sea even whilst surrounded by people.

- from in the belly of the beast, which again came out of me wondering what would have happened if fox had gone w their original plan and charles had been that last horseman instead of erik. this story will prob gain a sequel... sometime in the near future when im not too bogged down by current wips

3. 

The Xavier family hall of the deceased- because of course they’re weird enough to have a cemetery- is full of rows upon rows of holograms. Charles is four and gets bored of his father crying over his mother’s hologram, so he toddles over to the other rows. Unfamiliar names, all of them- Charles is young, and he doesn’t understand death. He doesn’t even know who his mother is, who’d died at childbirth and left him with a father still at a loss when it came to bringing up a kid.

- from tequila on a spaceship, the sequel to a fic that still has some people angry at me i think. this fic never did gain as much traction as the first one but im still proud of it esp since it discusses certain themes of reincarnation that ive always wanted to see explored for myself in reincarnation aus (and i only ever saw it in danveresque’s reincarnation au)

4.

There are cork boards covering every inch of the wall. Red strings, photographs, conspiracy threads, everything. Raven takes it in, swallowing, noticing the picture in the middle.

It’s one of Charles, when he’d been in university. His final year- he'd just been done presenting his year- end project, his fringe a tumbled mess and a bright smile on his lips. Erik had taken the picture, Charles scurrying to his side once he’d been done and demanding to look at the image, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth. He looks like how Raven had always imagined him to be.

“He wouldn’t want this,” she finally says, turning to look at Erik.

- from tequila on a beach, the first fic to the fic above. this fic is v special to me because i actually wrote this on a spiral after having a very tough visit with one of my parents in the hospital after a surgery for organ removal to prevent the onset of cancer. its simpler than my other fics yet i think more powerful because of what happens. also i think the first time i killed charles off lol (spoiler alert). also idk if ppl were aware of this but this is called tequila on a beach precisely bc charles and erik were tipsy from tequila at a frat party and then went to a beach. its the way they first met (and will continue to meet for all their next lives)

5. 

Erik doesn’t know how it all started. Maybe it was when his insane sergeant had started rambling about imaginary cities, treasures of gold and cursed incantations. Maybe it was when trickles of rumours had started pouring down about the higher ups wanting to investigate unfound territory, disregard the Egyptian government’s feelings on the matter, and put a previously unfound myth on the map for all the world to see. Or maybe, Erik thinks, it was when archaeologist Klaus Schmidt put a bullet through his mother’s head and he ended up going to America armed with dual citizenship and the sole intent of wanting to drive a coin directly between Schmidt’s eyes, joining a division of the American military focused solely on guarding archaeological digs- more importantly, in Egypt, where Schmidt’s interest had shifted.

- from courting the end of the world, another one i’m just insanely proud of! this is the first time i’ve ever attempted a multichapter movie au and it actually managed to work pretty well, i at least haven’t run out of inspiration for it yet lmfjgjg. also erik as himbo rick connell... very rent free in my head

6. 

The day after they murder Shaw and leave his house of horrors, Erik crosses the Canadian border with Charles across his back. Charles had started getting tired while they’d been walking, stumbling and nearly tripping until Erik had forced him to get on his back, ignoring Charles’ protests.

The blood’s seeping out steadily from Charles’ nose, staining his shirt and soaking it through. It’s been leaking on and off, and the effects are already obvious in the dark circles beneath Charles’ eyes. Any more, and Erik knows they’ll have to find him a doctor. He hopes the nearest town in Canada has one that would be willing to treat them.

- from a world built for two. i actually dk where the inspiration for this came from, i think i was once again on a depressive spiral and wanted to break my comfort characters into pieces and put them together again. this also deals with codependency and unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result of trauma which i showed as sweet in the fic but i would def not recommend in real life. pls if u relate to either charles or erik in this go see a therapist

7. 

The call comes in the afternoon, an hour before Charles is supposed to teach his Intro to Genetics class. Frowning, Charles abandons the game of Candy Crush he’d admittedly been playing rather badly and picks it up. “Charles sp-”

“We need you, Prof,” Kitty says desperately into the phone. “He’s been in a temper all morning, and then Alex’s reports missed out a whole subsection, so he’s fired the entire marketing team! Please, Professor, you have to come immediately!”

- from and we can be pirates. i wrote this in like 4 seconds for my friend who wanted professor charles and ceo erik and actually did not expect this to gain the attention it did... its always the fics u write in like 4 seconds lmfjggj. a sequel for this Is coming too probably at some point in the very far future

8. 

Charles Xavier can admit as he sits across from Essex, hands cuffed to the desk, that in hindsight, this had perhaps not been one of his better ideas.

He refuses to admit it as he controls Erik’s mind, preventing him from lashing out and making him close his eyes to the nightmare unfolding in front of him. He refuses to admit it as he gets shoved into the back of a black pickup truck, and the butt of a gun is smashed across his forehead hard enough to knock him out cold for a few hours. He refuses to admit it when he wakes up what appears to be hours later in a cold interrogation room, hands cuffed to the table in front of him, with a suppression collar rendering his mind dark and almost achingly silent.

- from from the land of gods (bring me home). i’ve been struggling w this fic a lot (it didnt come as easily to me as the first one did) but its getting there. also i put charles through hell in this rip sorry mister xavier

9.

In the aftermath, both of them stand at the border of the mansion. The air feels frigid, slicing into Raven’s lungs like a thousand paper cuts. “Charles, please,” she begs, heart in her throat and voice hoarse. “He wouldn’t want you to be like this. He wouldn’t want you to do this. It’s not too late, you can come back.”

Charles gazes back, a brick wall. He hasn’t even cleaned up, still in that damnable yellow and blue suit with blood drying in the corners of his mouth, the bridge of his nose. There’s nothing in his eyes- blank, almost see through. He looks as if he’s a mere shade, a ghost lounging about where he once was. Raven knows better.

“I will raze the world to the ground,” he finally says, his voice free of any inflection, “and when I’m done, no one will be left standing. Not you, and certainly not me.”

- from where all the poets went to die, a dark fic based on what would have happened if moira had killed erik with the bullets. its the first time ive written dark charles and it was v fun if im being honest

10. 

Charles is a light sleeper. It’s a trait that stays with him- all the way from his father and the tests to taking care of his mother to Cain Marko and his fists to Cuba and then now, the dust of Washington settling over him and making the waking world lie an inch beyond his eyelids. It therefore stands to reason that the second the windowsill creaks he’s up in a shot, hoisting himself up and lashing out with his telepathy instantly.

That’s not a trait that had stayed with him. That’s a newly formed trait, bitter and bold, carved into existence by Cuba by his students disappearing one by one in Vietnam by the letters that announce Sean’s death in black unfriendly print by-

The tendrils of his telepathy forged cold and distant meet a barrier and recoil, stunned. He focuses his eyes and then widens them, staring at Erik who stares back, hidden beneath that infernal muddied magenta helmet of his. They stare at each other for a moment before Erik clears his throat.

- from in the valley of kings (you will come home). my first ever cherik fic! im actually also proud of this one even if i ended it horribly and half my mutuals refuse to read it bc of how it ended LMFJGJGJ. i cant believe this was supposed to be a funny and cute kid fic and then i turned it into an angst ridden mess. also leo is actually an oc whose adult version is fancasted as charlie rowe by me and another mutual on twitter and im v proud that readers are willing to die for the baby

11. 

Mike has to google it, finding a crafts shop nestled into the corner of the street right smack in the middle of Louisiana, past a long and winding dirt road and the crumbling farmhouses relics of a time long past. The air is hot, humid, sticking to the back of his neck like an unwieldy parasite as he pushes the door of the shop open to the sound of the bell tinkling above.

He finds the origami paper quickly enough and has a momentary breakdown about what Bill’s favourite colour even is- he had never thought to ask him. Twenty seven years of following every single footstep of his like a dedicated, most definitely creepy stalker, three months of more than a few states traversed with Bill’s laughter now echoing in his ears like a shadow that trails after him, and this is what stumps him. It takes ten minutes, but he finally settles on light green.

- my first and last entry into the IT fandom bc i love these two but to be very fair there isn’t much content out there for him (and twitter content actually intimidates me lmfjgjjg) a thousand paper cranes never got much traction either but i suspect its bc i was horrible at promoting it. also i very much love this fic even if it never did that well bc ive always wanted to write a fic like this after watching the movie in cinemas in 2019

12.

ok nsfw i guess 

Mornings start like this- Eggsy snuffling into David’s neck, attempting to work his way back up to wakefulness as David sleeps the sleep of the dead, the streams of morning sunlight gradually lightening up the room. It’s a while before he gets the energy to sit up, pushing an eager V off the bed- V for Vendetta, a kitten named after one of David’s favourite movies that they’d adopted about a month after moving in together- before stumbling to the loo. He’s already in the shower when David comes in, naked as the day he’s born with his arms entwining themselves around Eggsy’s waist as he murmurs a sleep-soft, “Good morning, love,” as he presses a kiss into the two-days-old hickey on Eggsy’s shoulder. His breath smells of toothpaste, the minty fresh kind he insists on buying from Target no matter how much Eggsy insists that the other brand is much better. Without fail, Eggsy always has a split second thought of thinking that he must truly be in heaven because no way can this be his reality, every single day, before sinking to his knees and allowing David’s cock to hit the back of his throat.

- from that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of. i genuinely wish i had an opinion for this but i don’t remember writing this its been way too long

13. 

The first time Eggsy sees her is in Trafalgar Square.

Trafalgar Square is uncomfortably packed on any normal day, but on New Year’s it is quite the hothouse. Sweating armpits and hot bodies plastered against each other, the twinkling lights overhead providing a flash of blue and green and yellow and red, screaming children and giggling teenagers shoving their way through- it’s a recipe for disaster. Eggsy doesn’t know how he ends up there. It happens sometimes- one second he blinks, sequestered in the comfort of his living room, and the next he’s somewhere else, as if he’s been teleported. “Life goes past you,” Tilde had said once, “and you don’t even notice.” Tilde would be right.

- this is a roxy and eggsy friendship centric fic that i abandoned bc i lost my ardor for this world about the same time i got into xmen lmfjgjg. all the king’s horses also had some great fancasts in it with dev patel fancasted too... rip ig

14. 

once again, nsfw

Eggsy, truth be told, doesn’t actually like having sex in bathrooms. First of all, bathrooms generally have an unsanitary air about them. Besides that, the granite of the sinks always feel cold against his hips, there is the ever present fear of being walked in on and unlike what people might say, he actually really isn’t that much of an exhibitionist- and truth be told, he’s never liked the look of himself in the mirror mid coitus.

For David Budd, however, he suspects he might be up for anything.

- from do you ever dream of me. im actually proud of this fic and this series, i never usually write straight up porn or friends w benefits and i think it worked well in here. once again didnt get much traction but that was very of the norm for my kingsman fics lmfjgj

15.

It is on his fifth meeting with the therapist on site that she brings the issue up. The elephant in the room- or the bomb , David thinks morbidly. If asked, he can’t remember specifics about that day now. All he remembers is this- the burn of Julia’s picture in his wallet against his thigh, the Botticelli painting on the far wall and Miss Paulson’s face, severe and unsmiling.

“When you couldn’t reach Julia,” she says, after he finishes describing the feeling of running to Julia, the panic searing his chest as he’d prayed for his legs to work faster so he could do something, anything to reach her hand. “How did that make you feel?”

- from your haunted social scene. i genuinely... do not remember anything about this either helpfkjgjg,,, this has 55 comments tho which. Nice

16.

David brings her home on- in a move far too cliche for it to be reality- a stormy night. It’s in fact storming so hard the windowpanes shudder like leaves in the wind, droplets crashing against the glass in a cacophony so loud Eggsy more than once considers turning the radio all the way up to drown it out. He’d gone scrounging for David’s sweatshirts instead of his own halfway through, wincing intermittently at the flashes of thunder. At a particularly loud one JB had jumped up, squeaked in a very undoglike manner and skidded across the floor to cower beneath the sofa, only coming out when coaxed by Eggsy to do so. Officer Oatmeal had watched the proceedings from her regal place by the armchair, dozy eyed and blinking heavily.

- from a cat named lavender. from what i remember this was also my first try at bringing up trans eggsy

17.

He first appears at the black prince on a cold Monday evening, eyes like Frank Sinatra and lips arresting anyone’s gaze if they weren’t careful enough. He stood out too, clad in a respectable bomber jacket and boots that clicked against the tile rhythmically and loudly, a sort of organised, measured cacophony.

“Go and serve him,” Andrew said, fat and disinterested, seated behind the counter and idly flicking through bills, less than ten percent of which he pays Eggsy. “I’m busy.”

- from trust is left in lovers after all. i never continued this which is sad bc this did get a lot of attention... it was just v hard to keep the story going

18.

It usually rains cats and dogs in London but for some reason, the rain is heavier than usual today. The droplets splatter against the windows in a constant buzzing rhythm, the sound meshing together in a melody not altogether pleasant to the ears. It’s half past five and yet the light has to be kept on because that’s how dark the sky has gotten- thunder rolls like a loud crack, abrupt and deafening, causing Daisy to jump in her seat.

“Just a thunderstorm, flower,” Eggsy says. They’re seated at the dinner table, Eggsy going over her homework while David sits opposite them, hunched over his laptop as he attempts to finish a post mission report. Eggsy is half convinced he gave up ten minutes ago- he’s got his earbuds in and he hasn’t really typed anything in a while, eyes focused on the screen. His eyebrows are scrunched up in a glare that’s too adorable for his own good- and for Eggsy’s.

- from could feel like kryptonite. a lot of my kingsman fics are actually so much happier than my cherik ones... i should prob look into that rip

19.

“When you’re done lazing around you can come in, you dozy dog,” he tells Officer Oatmeal, who butts her nose into his knee. She’s the only one not on a diet in the house, Eggsy deeming her far too healthy and skinny to need one anyway. In fact, she’s under strict instructions by Eggsy to fatten up instead.

Once the animals are done feeding- Eggsy sporting a suspicious scratch on his left forearm- they settle down to eat their scrambled eggs and toast. David’s taken a large gulp of his scalding coffee when Eggsy says, all of a sudden, “So, I have a school reunion.”

- from gonna set this dance alight. don’t remember much about this either tbh

20. (the last one FINALLY)

It isn’t a big event or explosion that makes David realise he wants to see his father’s ring sitting pretty on Eggsy’s index finger. No teary confessions in the rain like in the rom coms Eggsy loves to rent out and sniffle his way through, or a fight that makes David see sense. In the end, it’s breakfast that cinches the deal for him.

The day had started out normally enough. David wakes up at eight like clockwork, the soft downy hair at the base of Eggsy’s neck tickling his nose with his arm locked tight around his waist. He’d yawned, exhausted- mostly because they’d stayed up very late into the night making good use of the bed- before standing up and shucking his shirt off to head for the shower. Eggsy had shifted in his sleep, mumbling something unintelligible, and the sight had been too endearing to resist so he’d bent down, pressing a kiss to his forehead and smiling when Eggsy groaned out loud.

- from lover boy rules. i actually started a lot of my kingsman fics in the same way which is rather awful of me. im glad thats changed with my xmen fics lmfjgjk. also this has 15 comments???? i dont even get that much attention with my xmcu fics these days... which is arguably a more active fandom... Hello

anyway that’s the end of it needless to say i do not know 10 other authors so im just gonna tag whoever i know rn: @hellfre , @queerneto, @ikeracity, @drinkingstars, @zebraljb

[yaboyspodcastpalace]

For the character asks: Jon, Peter Lukas, Annabelle Cane? (giving multiple suggestions so you can pick one in case you get the same character twice in different asks)

very kind of you to assume i get many asks :') THANKS ill do all of them u_u

[Send me a character and i'll tell you...]

(under the cut bc i love talking and this got long lmao)

Jon

First impression

he's a uptight prick with obvious favoritism for sasha and tim and i love him so! much!!!!!!

Impression now

my poor little mew mew hm................I've got a complicated relationship w/ jon bc i love him a lot, but i loved s1 him the most, and literally everything else just makes me really, brutally, sad ;_; The way he tries so desperately to cling to his humanity and how other characters just call him by the title imposed to him makes me wanna cry

...also he just cares so much ;_; i cry

Favorite moment

probably his interactions with georgie at the beginning of season 3!!! From s5 id say when he killed not!sasha, it felt vindictive ù_ú

Idea for a story

Dhfhdh im p basic when it comes to him ngl, either jon/tim/sasha friends to lovers or jon and desolation!tim or *something*!sasha trying to stay as human as possible, together 😔 (or just any of them living and coping together in s4 n s5)

Unpopular opinion

Im just not a fan of monster jon, at all! He's not the type of character that i enjoy seeing having a corruption arc unfortunately!! It just hurts!!! (and this Is from someone that Loves corruption arcs!!!)

Also i really hate moth jon imagery??? For not particular reason, moths are pretty, but i still hate it u_u AND THE ASSOCIATION OF GREEN W/ JON (or the beholding in general!) I CANNOT STAND IT!! i know its bc of the tma logo but guess what! Its wrong! Purple jon rights!!!

ALSO ALSO the so called pining he had for martin just.... didnt felt like that at all! i have Many feelings abt this!

Favorite relationship

either georgie in s3, or sasha!!! i love how he always praises sasha in her research in s1 and even thought he's at his driest & sharp Trying-To-Project-Professionalism-And-Skepticism she still rolls into his office, interrupts him mid statement to banter w/ him abt pronunciation n stuff and its just Normal, like that speaks volumes of how comfortable they felt around each other! they were friends gdi! the moment he realizes she died and then everytime the not!them mocks him w/ her death makes me wanna break smth q_q

im not even gonna mention tim bc even though i love their relationship It 👏 makes me👏 very 👏 sad 👏

non shippy and also staying strictly canon, i love his relationship with melanie!

Favorite headcanon

sometimes i think abt that one hc that hes really good with arcade games bc he lived near the coast and i smile bc thats cute :) also hes a trans man 💙💗🤍💗💙

Peter

First impression

Mystery evil captain man!!! Fog?? I LOVE him :)

Impression now

I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! Hes an asshole and has a lovely voice and smile and hes not, hes not Dumb but also he's far from the whooooa evil lonely influence he think he is (played like a cheap fiddle). He also makes me sad in ways i cannot and wont describe, and its a shame that he died cuz he was the best part of season 4 😔 rip you beautiful bastard man i still miss you </3

Favorite moment

"It has blood on it" "thats Leitner's too :D". Also when martin was angry abt idk, breekon? Jon going into the coffin? Cant remember, but peter was like I said id protect the institute, that guys not my problem ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Idea for a story

dfgdfg i have..... a petermart story that dealt with the different flavor of loneliness they both had, half smut half genuine meta of both of them and theorization on the branching of an Entity & how their powers manifested in other people...

basically, peter thinks hes hot shit when it comes to loneliness but gets overwhelmed when martin accidentally projects his feelings abt *fic's plot stuff* on him, its fun stuff!

Unpopular opinion

people either paint him like an absolute devil or an incompetent idiot and hes neither of them! hes an asshole who loves being an asshole but far from the worst monster in the show and he tried to do a clever scheme TWICE on his life and 1. while it was established that any of the rituals wouldnt work singularly the Silence was still a pretty clever attempt if it weren't for gertrude! and 2. well... he tried to manipulate someone petty and formerly supposed to be a web avatar, again not his fault, cant call him stupid for trying dfgdfg

i Do think hes kinda pathetic in some sense considering his backstory, but more out of personal pity than anything else

Favorite relationship

Canonically speaking him and martin! The pull and push of them was The best thing about season 4! Peter being a quite dangerous avatar and martin, beautiful and scared and kinda feisty, confronting him every chance he gets, peter doing his best to manipulate him and martin letting him believe hes succeeding (even thought, he is, partly). They're fascinating characters to have side by side

Favorite headcanon

Partly canonically speaking him and mikaele salesa :) they do bets together! They're lonely sea men! What else could you possibly want?

Also non shippy i like thinking abt peter's and simon's relationship but thats entirely non canon ♡

Diversity wins! The heir of the lonely is a gay man!

Also I think as every rich household(?) the lukases had many paintings and peter as a kid saw the ones w/ sailing ships and imagined sailing far far away from his family. That and seaman aesthetic fucks, which is why he always has the same vibe going on as an adult. He does Not know half of the things he'd need to know to have a ship though but hey he's rich and thats all he needs

Annabelle

First impression

thats a horrible psychological experiment they're making there D:

Impression now

THATS STILL A HORRIBLE EXPERIMENT AND ANNABELLE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER............. idk! she makes me sad in the same way jon (and to a degree, peter) does! to be a living puppet for the thing that traumatized you as a kid and that later kinda killed you / is the only thing keeping you alive, to be devoted to it scrambling to believe in a higher reason for all of it to happen bc to believe otherwise is............. anyway. i love her, and i feel so so sorry for her

Favorite moment

her "maybe ive never been to the beach" at the end of ehr statement (that i fully believe its bullshit but, yknow, i love that she adds that), most of her convos with martin, her "i told you this might happen" "you did, you did" with mikaele

Idea for a story

i think a lot about her having conversations w/ either mikaele (platonically) or sasha (shippy) and their different points of views and treat with her making her doubt the web a bit

Unpopular opinion

listen, listen, i know it sounds like im woobifying her i Know it but reading the scraps of her story how can i Not feel sorry for her? when the story framed her very similar to jon? the supernatural childhood encounter that gave them arachnophobia and the subsequential joining with an Entity against her will? the fact that both the story and the fans treat her like a spider woman always sat very very bad to me, and the fact that the story itself always framed her like a villain (considering All The Other Characters that get the benefit of the doubt) was extremely disappointing

Favorite relationship

her and mikaele!!!!!!! wish we could have seen more scenes of just the two of them!!!!!! *singing* he is her daaaaaad, hes her dad! boogie boogie boogie! (ok no but like... their offscreen friendship is my favorite thing of season 5 ;_;)

Favorite headcanon

Sigh i dont know...i still think she's scared of spiders which make her current existence harder but thats a sadcanon :/ umm...... i love the idea of mikaele and her cooking together from time to time! Mikaele showing her some plates he used to eat as a kid as he talks stories about his life :) and she listens and sometimes tells a story of her own! its been so long since he had a quasy normal conversation! its weird yet nice!

[riceccakes]

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Three Analysis

chapter one analysis | chapter two analysis

back again for another chapter analysis. i think ive been looking forward to this chapter the most, it’s where some big decisions were made!!! this analysis is a long one, i hope that’s all right! i kinda got carried away. so, let’s dive right in, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

chapter three was supposed to be the last chapter of the fic

idk if any of you were there when i first started writing this fic, but it was only going to be three chapters with a possible epilogue. however, everything changed when i finished the end of chapter two. (lil atla reference there for ya) (sorry i know that was bad, moving on). like i said in my last analysis, i had an idea of what i wanted to happen (the separation of korrasami) so that they could come back together. it was just a matter of what separates them. so, i’m not sure where i got the panic attack idea but once i did, the rest of the story changed. i realized i couldn’t quite possibly finish the story in one chapter so i split the ideas i had and decided on it being four chapters

now, this being said, maaaaajor changes were made in my story outline. most notably: korrasami was going to be a couple in this chapter

this was originally going to be a full fledged “they meet, they get to know each other, they fall in love, happily every after” but the thing was, i planned on treating their romance as korra’s recovery; that being with asami is what made korra better, that all she needed was a partner, someone to love, and that is not what i wanted to portray with this story. i’ve never been a fan of stories that give a character a love interest and all of sudden their problems are fixed and they’re completely happy, and here i was about to do just that. i knew i’d never respect myself if i continued down this narrative, and when chapter two ended with korra’s panic attack, i realized her growth needed better love and attention. so, i changed what happened and gave her some therapy

this change in the storyline also let me explore more of kuvopal !!! (is that their ship name?)

so, back to LOVE WITCH for a second (because that glorious fic really did steal my heart) not only did it make me love kuvira’s character more, it also got me into the kuvopal relationship! and yet again, i wanted my own go at it. with the original timeline, there was just no space for me to include the lil bread crumbs of their relationship. however, however, however; by splitting the ending between two chapters (and adding some stuff in between) i was able to lay some foundation for them, which im very happy about :)

into the chapter we go:

let’s talk about the meeting! the whole reason this fic came to be! i’ll start by saying i always knew the project was going to get pulled out from under asami. 1) because thats some angsty/hurt shit right there and im a sucker for writing angst 2) i didn’t feel like creating a whole ass presentation because knowing my ass i would’ve made a powerpoint about it so i had every detail down to the font asami used and 3) getting the presentation taken away from asami was a pivotal point in her character arc.

i actually started the chapter in two different ways. at first, i’d written her whole entire morning with there always being one thing that was off. like, instead of a perfect omelette, it was going to split and asami would’ve had a scramble, still good, but not her favorite. instead of going through all green lights on her way to work, asami was gonna meet every. single. red. light. i would’ve gone through with this if it hadn’t felt strange; i wanted to give the impression that something bad was going to happen but i felt like having something go wrong with every thing in her morning was gonna be a dead give away that some even bigger big bad was about to happen, if that makes sense. so instead, i went with the picture perfect scenario, almost too perfect, if you ask me. and indeed, it was too perfect, because hiroshi was too much of a coward to tell his daughter any sooner that his board agreed to get a new presenter

im just gonna cite a bunch of my favorite lines/bits from this chapter because i really enjoyed writing it xD

Iroh has already begun but Asami hears no words, only a blaring ring in her ears. Her face feels hot and she wonders how red she is. She stares at the black binder, notes the natural grooves and curves of the material, the plastic covering over top of it, the metal spine peaking out at the bottom. She’s only brought out of it’s dark trance when she feels a hand be placed on her arm; Kuvira. 

when you’re upset, do you ever just, hyper focus on one thing and its like you’re analyzing it under a microscope for the first time? yes? no? well, i do that, and personally, i do because if i focus on my anger/hurt emotions any more, im going to explode and i dont want to explode. so, this instance about looking at the grooves in the binder and each of the components of it just hits with me, idk if does with you too, but like bruuh.

Asami has her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing, feeling as if she’ll throw up. She leans her head on her wheel, her mind wanders to what could’ve been, what should’ve been. She feels as if her car is closing in on her, that the metal is compacting. The seatbelt keeps her locked down to the driver’s seat and she can’t leave if she wants to. The Satomobile holds her hostage and she lets it. Even while it’s hurting her, even while it’s harshly molding itself onto her, she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?

this is one of my favorite things ive ever done with asami’s character, is using future industries/satomobiles as a sort of vehicle (heh) for her relationship with her dad. this paragraph just kind of hurts, but the good hurt? but also not good hurt? it’s just, (and not me over here boasting about my writing or anything) it’s so poetic that she has this breakdown and she’s so upset with her dad, i mean “what should’ve been” like, asami KNOWS that the shit that’s just happened is more than wrong, yet asami is still somehow wondering how she can please her dad and it’s in the literal legacy hiroshi built for himself. “she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?” i remember writing that and being like “shit, am i really gonna do this? yeah” ugh, i could go on forever about how i love this section, but i’ll stop here for now.

Asami begins yelling, screaming at the top of her lungs, letting all the thoughts, all the insecurities her father gave her finally be released into the world. Kuvira lets her, simply nodding and following along on the couch while Asami paces her living room. She spews out word after word, about the work, about the presentation, about Iroh, his position, her position, the company, the CEO, and she only stops when she feels the weight of her father rest on her shoulders.

back with more diction; i really love this paragraph because of how we circle back to hiroshi. note how i first say “the CEO” and then a few words later say “her father” because, in a way, this is asami’s confession that hiroshi is CEO first and father second, if i haven’t already explicitly said so. it’s so heart wrenching and sad but my favorite thing about it is this isn’t even about korra. like THIS right here is a prime example about how i realized this fic became more than just a love story. in the planning stages of this fic, asami was going to go through getting the presentation taken away from her, but what was she going to focus more on? the fact that korra wasn’t around anymore. and yes, asami still does think about korra after this, but so much more happens for her. asami gets to know kuvira more, asami gets to know her lab partners more, (and my personal hc is that they’ve all been lab partners for two years and only NOW asami is getting to be friends with them in their senior year, but hey, better late than never!) and to me, what’s even better, is that a bunch of realizations come to asami w/o korra being there. asami is growing and the idea of being able to grow without needing to have a partner in order to grow is so important to me, not only for the fact that growth should be endless and something you do all the time for yourself, but asami literally wants to share it with korra. not boast about changing and growing and becoming better, but just be better with korra. sdlfakds i swear, im fangirling over my own writing, oops

okay, moving on from The Meeting and onto the rest of the chapter

this dock scene was also another part i wrote beforehand and it had a completely different ending in that asami was going to ask korra out on a date. of course, korra would’ve said yes, and then yay yay happy ending. this didn’t happen and i’m glad it didn’t. in one version of this dock scene, asami was actually going to be upset with korra for disappearing, and even worse, mad that korra wasn’t there to comfort her after the presentation. oof, i know. so so glad i didn’t continue down that line, cause it is toxic, and my girls aren’t like that at all.

Once Korra’s eyes meet hers, Asami says, “That doesn’t mean you always have to be on your own.” She smiles at Korra, at the girl who’s turned her world upside down. Her hand remains on Korra’s cheek and she feels the girl sink into her palm. “I’ll be here for you, and it seems like Tenzin will be too, what with saying he was calling you more. And you have his family, and your own family, even though they’re away, they’re here to support you, we all are. You can still be strong and turn to other people for help. It takes great strength to ask for help and I know for a fact you’re strong enough, those bags of coffee beans were nothing for you.”

i like this line of dialogue here for a few reasons, mostly because asami is so soft and so right and the joke at the really helped lighten the mood but didn’t take away from what she’d just said before. i don’t have too much else about the Reunions section, though if you guys have any questions or anything you wanna point out, please do so! i think what i will say is that i tried to be as real and gentle with korra’s progression. i was so nitpicky about everything i wrote because i didn’t want to get any of it wrong or over dramatized or fake. recovery from anything is so important and it takes time and it’s not a straight line so i hope i did a good job with it the rest of the fic. 

moving on, i love the found family trope and this leads me into the next section, New Friends

when i think about this section, i like how soft it is, and i really enjoy the ending bits: korra recounting memories from the south, asami meeting tenzin. i think what i like about the end of this chapter is that, it kind of leaves the question: what’s next?

asami has grown, she’s changed, she sees the errors of her father’s ways but she’s not excusing them. korra has grown, she’s changing, she’s taken the first step in recovery. now it’s just a matter of, what happens with this growth now. and i really loved how i wrapped up the fic in the next and last chapter, so i hope you enjoy it too :))

honorable mentions:

there were a lot of changes in this chapter and one of them got changed twice! korra was gonna get a therapist but then i was like, we gotta get the krew together, and then i was like supppppoorttttt grouuuppppp, because lets be honest, all the krew has stuff they need to work through, and i know therapy isn’t for everyone, but mental health is so vital and important. asami is an advocate for therapy in the chapter but there are also other means to take care of yourself and your mental health and while i’ve never been to a support group, i understand finding comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

i guess what i’m trying to say is please take care of yourself and dont be afraid to lean on others. i know not everyone has the means to get a therapist/psychiatrist and i know that your friends aren’t made to only be your therapist. buuuut, don’t be afraid to reach out, there’s nothing wrong with needing help and support :)

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

honestly, i think the only thing i would’ve wanted to change was mako’s speech during the support group meeting. for me, it was a lil bit too poetically out of character. not to say i want to change the content, but rather the manner in which it’s presented. other than that though, i really loved writing this chapter :)

so this analysis was reeeaaaalllly long, i understand if not everyone made it to end. anyways, thanks so much for reading this analysis and the fic! once again, i’m very much open to questions and any comments, i love them very much! i’ll see you guys in the next analysis of the final chapter :)

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Upcoming Requests

As I promised, I’m popping on to post a list of all my requests I’m doing. I know I have asks and messages, but I’m not going to go through them right now, but I appreciate all your support everyone. I’m not tagging people who requested until it’s posted because most of these are anons. Please like and reblog this, just so others are aware of what I’m doing, and comment which pieces you’re looking forward to the most! It’s a LONG list, so I’m adding a read more option. I’m not posting these in any order, that’s just how they’re listed. 

Also check out my writing challenge in my bio!

Requests: 

Bellamy Blake: 

Can you do a Bellamy x reader? which takes place in season 3 with the chips that take away their pain. The reader is going through something and wants to take it but Bellamy stops them? Love your writing and don’t care about the haters! 

Hi! It’s me again. I’ve got this BellamyxReader idea where the reader has become more and more reckless, and when she kills someone she doesn’t even flinch. Everyone’s worried, especially Bellamy. When they get to restrain chipped-Raven and they’re taking shifts to check on her. While it’s the reader’s turn, Raven says something that makes her snap. I have 2 ideas for the end: either the readers goes out and points a gun to her head or she points it to Raven. Either way, Bellamy stops her. (I was thinking that maybe no one knows about it and that the reader’s been keeping it under control with the meds Kane managed to give her before she was sent to earth with the 100 (maybe she could be Kane’s daughter).Then, when Jaha started chipping everyone, ALIE ordered someone to steal her meds and she didn’t really want to tell anyone about the missing meds. She started to go through the maniac phase of it, and people around her (Bellamy, Clarke) started to notice that something was off Then, coming back to my original request lol, Raven told her that they stole their meds to mess with her and you can connect it with the rest of my other request)

Hi there, I was wondering if i could request an angsty/fluffy S5 Bellamy fic based on the song “Hesitate” by the Jonas Brothers? Thank you ☺❤

Is it possible to get a bellamy one-shot or something based on the song “I hate you, I love you” by gnash and olivia o’brien? I’m not really picky (at all) by what the plot is, but I feel like it’s a good song to write a fic about, thanks girlie 💜 ~ Posted!

Okay soooo I have this on my mind for aawhile!Are you able to do a Bellamy Blake x plus size (if you want) reader imagine based on the song “Don’t wanna fall in love” by KYLE… if you want though!

Hi! I have a request What about a Bellamy x Reader based on the song Happy Pills by Weathers?

Would you be willing to do a Bell x Reader based on the song ALARM by Anne-Marie? Maybe something in season 1, but you can decide a different season if it’s easier☺

Your song fics are so goooddddd! Can you PLEASE do one based on If the World was Ending? Its by JP Saxe and Julia Michaels. Can it be a lot of angst and maybe a cute ending if it works? Thank you!!!!!

Hi!! I love your work! I was wondering if you could write a Bellamy x reader based on the song Hot Girl Bummer by blackbear! Thank you ❤️ have a nice day!

Could you maybe do something Season 1 Bellamy where he's tough and lets everybody "do whatever the hell they want" but he's bossier to you and you're a rebellious spirit but he's actually being hard on you because he really really likes you and he doesn't want anything to happen to you (he's bossy in a roundabout way so he makes sure you get dinner and are safe and stuff) and maybe something happens and she gets hurt cause she's mad at him and he admits his feelings for her? Sassy and sweet?

Sirius Black: 

hello! can i request an imagine in which reader is Lucius’ little sister, so she has a bad reputation among the marauders, but on their last year, her and Sirius are supposed to work on a project together so they start spending more time together and he realises that she’s not like her family at all, so they start developing feelings for each other? maybe they even kiss in the end? hehe. thanks!

Hey sweets! I was wondering if I could request a oneshot with young!Sirius please? Something with a lot of mutual pining? Also if the reader could be in Ravenclaw that would be really nice :) Thanks anyways 💓

can i request an extremely fluffy (floof upon floof) and wholesome fic with sirius? :’) thank you

Could you please write a Sirius x reader where the reader is a Gryffindor but is very quiet and cold and Sirius tries to get closer to her?

Hey! I saw that your requests for the marauders were open. I would like to request a Sirius oneshot where he has a crush on reader who is super sassy and will not give him time of the day. He is a bit sad and so maybe James takes it upon himself to get them together? Maybe as a bonus they help July get together too? Thankyou 😍

Hey! How are you? Thanks to Seira I discovered you were writing for the marauders! So I was thinking could you right something on the marauders (Sirius x reader) were it’s full moon and they’re in the muggle world. Moony is stuck in the middle of a village, there is a lot of muggle around him so the reader (who is an animagus too since she’s a marauder) save him but finish hurt by a villager so Sirius protect her and carry her away? I hope it’s understandable and sorry if my English is bad :) 

Barry Allen: 

Hiii! One last request before you close them! Maybe a Barry Allen x reader where the reader has got “dark” powers? I picture her like Billie Eilish in her music video “Bury a Friend”. I don’t know if I explained it clearly 😂

James Potter: 

I really love your works on Harry Potter (basically marauders) Can I request 14, 16, 18, 23, 28 for James Potter. Can reader be Remus' twin sister, a Gryffindor? I I would be really happy to read it. Also if possible can you make a happy ending for it? I trust you can write a perfect fic! Thank you:) (are you still open to this kind of requests?)~ Posted! 

could u maybe work on a lil james potter fic (cus ur reqs for him are open)? one where he's trying so hard to get a girl in the quidditch team (but she's bolder than he is so she tells him she'll only join if he goes on a date w her) i thought it'd be pretty cool... thank u 

I don't know if you are taking one shot requests but if you are, I would like to request a James Potter x reader (different houses, not specified) where they enter a Hogwarts Couples Baking Challenge and they're just having fun. Thanks!

Remus Lupin: 

Hi!!! Could I get a gender neutral!reader x Remus?? Something with mutual pining maybe?? Also I would love if the reader is in hufflepuff!! Thank you!!!

Hey! Can I request a oneshot with Remus where he likes reader who is Lily's best friend and us smarter than her too and is also a prefect? He asks for her help to study and accidentally confesses his feelings at the same time/or confesses during one of their prefect rounds? Thankyou!

can i request some angst for younger remus where it's a couple days after the full moon and he looks for the reader so they can cuddle (they're already dating) and he finds them kissing another guy, and he asks reader why and the readers like "i dont want you anymore, i love this guy, blah blah blah" and he's heart broken but later somehow reader's friend finds out the guy gave them a love potion and fixes it, and reader has to try to explain to Remus that it's what happened but he doesn't (1/2) believe her, and it's all angsty because he's mad at her but in the end he understands or something like that, and i am SO sorry that this is so long, and i love love love your writing~ Posted!

John Murphy: 

 I think 18 by 1D would be such a cute song for Murphy! I saw your requests were open for him (THANK GOD because your writing is incredible!) and I was hoping you wouldn’t mind? Thanks love!

John Murphy with a reader that got her arm or leg or both taken on earth and it’s about her recovering and John helping her. If you can’t do John then sorry for bothering!!

Undecided: 

I wasn't going to ask this because I already requested something (believe me when I say I read the moment I knew lots of times already), but just trying it won't hurt me, right? (right? 😭) I need something based on lover of mine by 5sos it can be bellamy, sirius, james, remus or bucky, whoever you think would fit better. thank you for putting up with my shit 🤧 love you tons - 🍑 (Undecided because I haven’t figured out who to write for yet, I think it might be Bucky)

So this is hella randombut can u do a eli goree x reader ship. Eli played wells on the 100 and mad dog on riverdale btw. Anyway can it be were your also famous actor and played in the 100 and riverdale ect and u guys are playing a game on the jimy falon show and your picking random QUITIONS from a dec of cards abd most of them are things having to fo with ur friend ship (u guys are like bestfriends and everybody ships u2) reader picks random card that says I asked you out would you say yes? (Undecided because my requests aren’t open for Eli and I’ve never written for an actor before, but I kinda wanna write this despite my requests not for him. So idk yet. Question: If I do write this, do you Eli to say yes? and do you want them together? No promises on writing it, but send me an ask and let me know please.)

[teejthedoughboy]

You Know It(Part 1)- Tyrus Fic

1558 Words

“I can’t just ASK them, Buffy! That’s why I need you two!” TJ said, vaguely gesturing to Andi and Buffy. TJ had asked Buffy and Andi to meet him at the picnic tables outside the building before they left for the day while Cyrus was at Peer Mentoring club. He needed it to be just the three of them for this one.

“Why can’t you?” Buffy laughed at TJ’s frustration, earning a glare from the boy.

“It’s...complicated. But I really need your help.” he said, begging at this point. He gave the girls a look that said ‘I need this’. “Won’t you help me just this once?”

Buffy quirked an eyebrow. “Who’s the girl?”

That was also complicated...The end of the eighth grade year was quickly approaching, as was the spring formal. It was held on the night of graduation every year, and it was not something the students at Jefferson Middle took lightly. Boys and girls often went all out in making “proposals” to the dance.

TJ was a bit stuck, though. He decided to pull the trigger and ask Cyrus; Andi and Buffy’s best friend. The two shared a very low profile relationship; as in nobody knew about it but them. They weren’t officially “dating” yet, but at Andi’s party 3 weeks ago it was established the pair had a mutual crush on one another.

“Uh..I can’t tell you who I’m asking,” TJ stated, his eyes darting to Andi, “you’ll help me, right? You’re the artsy and nice one.”

Buffy feigned hurt at TJ’s comment as Andi began to speak. “Will you give us a minute to talk it over?”

TJ nodded, standing up from the bench on the picnic table.

Once he was out of earshot, Buffy began to whisper, “Andi we can’t do this! You know Cyrus likes TJ, it would break his heart if TJ asked someone else. It’d be even worse if we helped him do it.”

Andi knitted her brows, “like him or not, Cyrus is TJ’s friend. He would want TJ to be happy. He doesn’t even have to know we helped. And TJ needs all the help he can get with the proposal. Look at the vest he’s wearing right now for crying out loud!”

Buffy stared blankly in consideration. “I hate it when you’re right.”

The two girls stood up and made their way over to TJ, who was standing about 10 feet away.

“So? What’s the verdict?” He flashed a charming smile as a last resort.

“We’ll help you.” The girls said in unison.

“Aweso-“

“ON ONE CONDITION!” Buffy interjected.

“Okay?” TJ said, waiting for Buffy to finish.

“Cyrus cannot know. We were supposed to be..um,” she looked towards Andi.

“H-helping him..play chess this week! He’s suddenly REALLY into chess and has a tournament coming up! We were supposed to be practicing with him after school but seeing as we’re helping you...we-we can’t,” Andi lied.

“So, he can’t know we’re blowing him off for this.” Buffy finished, “do we have a deal?”

TJ smiled, realizing this was all a ploy. Cyrus had absolutely no interest in chess, and was definitely not a member of the chess club. The girls had just made it up to ‘protect’ him. “Works for me. When do we start?”

“Right now.” Andi declared, pulling out a notebook and walking back to the table. “So, look, I know you’re being all secretive about who you’re asking, and we respect that, but we’re going to have to know some stuff about them.”

“Okay,” TJ concurred, they were right. “What do you wanna know?”

“Favorite color? Favorite movie? Animal? Do they do sports?” Buffy suggested

“Purple, Shrek, probably any reptile, and,” TJ laughed pathetically, remembering the time he challenged Cyrus to a game of HORSE, “yeah no sports”

Andi and Buffy turned to each other, grinning.

“What?” TJ asked suspiciously, terrified they’d figured him out.

“Diana,” they said in unison. Diana Richards was a girl in their grade who wore nothing but purple. She was known for making up creative excuses to sit out in PE class, and quoted Shrek like her life depended on it.

“That’s who you’re asking!” Andi proclaimed triumphantly.

“W-What?! No!” TJ recoiled.

“AHHH YOU BLINKED! He’s such a bad liar!” Buffy laughed, thinking she had it all figured out.

“Whatever let’s just get back to planning!” TJ projected his voice over the girls’ laughs.

“Hang on, TJ you’ve got this all wrong. Diana’s favorite animal is by far a flamingo. Trust me. I was in her class a few years ago when we took a field trip to the zoo. Who told you she likes reptiles?”

TJ tugged at one of the strings on his hoodie, imagining Cyrus’ horrified face upon seeing a flamingo-themed dance proposal. This was not going the way he had expected it to.

Andi had already taken out a notebook and was starting to list ideas. “Poster?” She asked, mostly to herself. “Eh. Kinda cliche. But classic. Would Diana like a poster?”

TJ groaned.

“We definitely have to include flamingos. I mean, they’re all over her backpack,” Andi rambled.

“Do a pink theme or something,” said Buffy.

“But her favorite color is-” Andi started, before getting cut off by a frustrated TJ.

“Cyrus! Cyrus! It’s not for Diana,” TJ finally snapped. Then he looked at the girls’ confused faces. He saw Andi drop the pencil she was holding. “It’s for Cyrus,” he whispered.

“Woahhhh” Andi and Buffy said at the same time, looking at each other with wide eyes.

“Flamingos would have been a bad move…” said Buffy, fighting back a laugh. “But just between us, Cyrus would really like it if you asked him. He’s going to say yes.”

TJ rolled his eyes, “I’m aware. We’re kind of a thing already.”

Both girls’ eyes went wide, their jaws practically hitting the floor.

“We wanted to keep it low profile for as long as we could but-“ TJ watched Buffy and Andi’s faces fall as they looked from him to the front of the school, “what is it?”

“It’s Cyrus!” Andi whisper-yelled.

“What do we do?!” Buffy asked frantically.

Andi’s eyes widened, “TJ, get under the table! Now! Cyrus can’t see you here!”

Without hesitation, TJ ducked under the table, climbing on all fours.

He heard Cyrus speak. “Guys? What are you doing here? Do you need a ride home or something?”

“No!” Said Buffy, hearing TJ shuffle a little under the table. She gave him a light kick.

“Ow!” TJ whined quietly, catching the attention of a baffled Cyrus

“TJ?” He puzzled, looking under the table to see the boy on the floor.

“....hi!” TJ said pathetically, crawling out from under the table.

“What..why were you under the table?” Cyrus giggled, watching TJ stand up.

TJ glanced over at Andi and Buffy, realizing their great plan had fallen apart. “I just - can I talk to you? Alone?”

“Of course.” Cyrus glanced at the girls, and then watched Buffy drag Andi across the courtyard.

“Look,” TJ said to Cyrus, shaking his head to the side and laughing in defeat. “I wanted to ask you to the dance with a fancy poster or elaborate gesture or something, and that’s what Buffy and Andi were helping me with. You know, I could’ve made a scavenger hunt or, I don’t know, dressed up like a reptile or something. I know it’s silly, but I just wanted to make you smile.”

Cyrus smiled softly, clasping TJ’s hand in his own. “You going to all that trouble for me completely trumps any proposal, TJ.” Cyrus contemplated his next words as he watched a deep blush spread across TJ’s face. “I would have asked you myself but you beat me to it.” He concluded, looking down at their hands.

TJ carefully removed his hand from Cyrus’ and placed it under the boy’s chin, tilting his head up so their eyes met. “So I guess- I um- here it goes, Cyrus Goodman, will you go to the Spring Formal with me?”

Cyrus was now the one blushing, ”Thalonius Jagger Kippen, I would be honored to go to the Spring Formal with you.”

TJ’s jaw dropped, looking at the playful grin wiped across Cyrus’ face.

Cyrus quickly changed the subject before TJ could scold him for using his full name, “Andi and Buffy know now, huh?”

TJ looked to him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for them to find out who I was asking. I hope you’re okay with that - I mean, I figured you would be since you wanted to tell them sometime.”

“No, I’m glad they know. But I just hoped you were okay with it.” Cyrus looked up at TJ with those big brown eyes.

TJ blinked. “I’m fine with them knowing. Are you sure you want to do this Friday?”

Cyrus looked him up and down, ”yeah. Yeah I do.”

TJ grinned. “Me too.”

“Well, I guess I’ll see you Friday, then,” Cyrus told him.

“Yeah,” said TJ. “Hey, do you want to go to the park for a little bit?” TJ took cyrus’ smile as a yes.

“You know, feel like I kinda got cheated on the whole dressing-up-as-a-reptile thing,” said Cyrus as they walked off.

“Could’ve gotten ssomething from Andi’s grandma,” TJ said, giving Cyrus a playful shove.

“Now there’s an idea.” Shove.

“You know it.”

[capmackie]

tell me again (that we’ll be lovers & friends)

aka the Prom!Sambucky fic no one asked for.

Bucky should’ve known better.

In reality, he does know better. He knows that prom is not somewhere he wants to be; knows that without a shadow of a doubt, actually. Knows it’s all superficial and just another reason for teens to be cajoled into spending exuberant amounts of money to impress people they’ll most likely never see again. Most of all, it’s incredibly pretentious.

Today’s the big day and Bucky’s been irritated since he woke up, no, actually ever since he shelled out a hundred bucks for his ticket. But as the realization dawned on him that he’ll have to play nice with the same people who’ve never spoken more than two words to him in all four years, the irritation reared it’s ugly head again. It peaked as his mom snapped countless photos, pushing him to smile and pose. It’s all too much and Bucky feels a headache forming at the base of his skull.

At her insistence, she places a rose on his lapel, sticking him with the needle in the process. Bucky’s certain that’s a sign from the universe that going to prom is a bad idea.

***

Bucky, standing in an extravagant banquet room, so over the top, he kinda wants to hurl, quickly realizes that going to his prom was, indeed, a bad idea.

The theme is ‘Winter Wonderland’, which is bad enough but considering it’s currently June, makes the idea even worse. There’s bouquets of carnations dressing the tables, fake snow litters the ground. White curtains, adorned with sparkles, line the floor to ceiling windows, along with hundreds of LED strings lights attached to the ceiling. There’s a balloon arch bracketing the entrance, a sign welcoming the students to ‘Brooklyn High Prom 2019’ hangs off of it. Further inside, he can see the DJ booth. His principal’s on the one’s and two’s and he almost wants to laugh at how ridiculous the sight is, almost.

He feels unease down to his very core, certain that the night’ll end in one of two ways: some drunk asshole picking a fight with him (again) or him standing on the outskirts of the party, isolated, as he finds himself more often than not.

Bucky revels in his loneliness; having realized early on that the only person he can rely on, the only person he can trust is himself. But those thoughts are easier to drink down when Bucky’s minding his own business, holed up in his room. In those moments, his loneliness covers him like a blanket, heavy yet comforting. But here, in a place designed for social interaction, Bucky feels confined by his loneliness, feels it magnified times a thousand.

Coming here was a terrible idea.

The possibility of saying ‘fuck it’, turning on his heels and going the fuck home is lighting every nerve in his body on fire. He could do it; no one’s seen him come in and if they did, they definitely don’t give a damn about him leaving. In the blink of an eye, he can be back home, can ignore the disappointing look his mother will give him, can be in his own space thanking whatever deity out there that his high school experience is almost over.

He’s about to do it.

Bucky’s so close to leaving that relief starts to flood his body when his eyes fall on someone he honestly wishes he never met sometimes.

In hindsight, he understands why he’s here, at prom surrounded by people he doesn’t like, wearing an ill-fitting suit and uncomfortable shoes. It’s the same reason why he does almost anything; the same reason that turns Bucky pliant with just a smile. And that reason is on the dance floor, milly-rocking his life away, in a fitted plum suit with paisley accents.

Sam.

***

If Bucky could go back in time to the first day he and Sam met, he probably would’ve just stayed his ass in bed. But alas, missing the first day of the new school year, especially after missing about three months of your junior year, is frowned upon. For some reason.

The hustle and bustle of kids running to classes as the bell rings or ignoring the bell altogether to continue their conversations in the hall is all too familiar to Bucky. But now it feels different, feels overwhelming.

But Bucky knows the scenario isn’t different, it’s only him who’s changed; the last time he was in this hall he had a flesh and blood arm on his left and now... he doesn’t. Anxiety begins to creep up his spine, his breath shortening out and his head starting to spin. Steadying himself with his forehead placed on his locker, the coolness grounding him, Bucky’s brought back to reality just as the second late bell begins to ring.

Pulling out his schedule, he focuses his attention to more tangible dangers, like being late to his first class and having to sit in the front because all of the slackers have taken the back seats. Adjusting his backpack then his jacket to cover more of his left arm, he grabs his textbooks and sets off to AP Human Geography.

As the teacher assigns partners for the course-long project, Bucky slumps further down in his seat, willing the floor to just swallow him whole. He looks around the room and cringes when he sees who he could possibly be paired with.

But then the teacher is speaking to Bucky, telling him there’s an odd number of students in the class and Bucky’s welcome to join an existing group or work by himself. Before he can give his answer, one Sam Wilson comes barreling through the door, throwing the teacher an apologetic smile, clamoring to find the first empty seat.

There are three things Bucky instantly becomes hyper-aware of at that moment:

1) Sam’s arrival now means there’s an even number of students in the class (fuck)

2) the only open seat is right next to him

3) Sam has the most gorgeous smile Bucky’s ever seen

***

Throughout the semester, they gradually become friends. Bucky’s convinced that it’s only because of the project but when Sam’s walking home with him after they realize they’re actually neighbors (who would’ve thought?) and when Sam’s saving him a seat at the lunch table where the popular kids sit (Bucky declines every day, Sam doesn’t stop inviting him) or when Sam remembers to walk on the right of Bucky (never the left) and when Sam never questions those moods Bucky sometimes finds himself in (the ones he can’t shake, the ones that pull him under so deeply he can only hear tires screeching and glass cracking and the sound of metal on metal and -), the line between general politeness and something more blurs so much, Bucky sometimes isn’t sure that it’s still there.

It’s that blurry line that Bucky finds himself tiptoeing on when one day—he and Sam are on his front porch, soaking in the fact that they’re finally done—Sam asks the big question.

“So, who are you taking to prom?”

Bucky looks up so fast, he almost catches whiplash. Prom hadn’t even been a thought in his mind. He’s focused on more important things like college (and Sam), getting a fresh start in a new city (and Sam) and the threat of Sallie Mae looming over his shoulders (andddd Sam).

The confusion must register on his face because Sam is now laughing and smiling and Bucky hates when he does that. Because Sam doesn’t just laugh and he doesn’t just smile. Sam doesn’t just do anything, his personality is too bold, too vivacious to do anything half-assed.

When he smiles, it starts at his mouth, full lips curling upwards, that stupid gap in between his front teeth making an appearance. Then it lifts to his eyes, making them go big, the brown in the irises shining ever so brightly. Sam’s smile is enough to light up continents, can feed power to third world countries if he chooses to. The only thing greater in the world than seeing Sam smile is making Sam smile and Bucky reckons it’s the same as looking into the sun for too long; the heat of the rays warming him, making him feel special. Then, inevitably, it starts to burn; the too harsh rays focused on him intensely, making Bucky squirm.

Bucky’s been on both sides of the equation. He’s seen Sam throw that megawatt smile at someone, has had that smile on him and Bucky’s not sure which scenario makes his stomach drops the fastest.

With a flick of his right hand, Bucky dismisses the idea of going to something as silly as his high school prom, listing off a dozen of other things he would rather do with his time.

But Sam smiles at him, lighting Bucky insides on fire, and promises him it’ll be fun, that Sam will be there to make it fun and that he won’t leave his side until he’s sure that Bucky is indeed having fun. Bucky wants to say no with every fiber of his being but he just can’t; not when Sam’s looking at him adoringly, smiling a little and then wider and wider until the smile completely takes over his face, as he sees Bucky slowly coming around to the idea of going to prom.

In the end, Bucky is grumbling something about Sam being an asshole and when Sam laughs his signature laugh, Bucky has to turn his head away lest Sam will see him smiling too.

***

Prom is in full swing by the time Bucky’s arrived and is finished with having his existential crisis.

The DJ’s just switched records and a slow song is drifting through the speakers, teens coupling up to slow dance together. It’s so cliché, Bucky’s eyes almost roll out of his head. But then Sam notices him, face plastered with one of his signature smiles and starts to walk his way.

Bucky’s just about to give Sam grief for the patterned shirt he has the audacity to wear in public when Sam nods toward a secluded corner, beckoning Bucky to follow him. As soon as they’re away from the watchful eyes of teachers and parent chaperones, Sam pulls out a silver flask.

“It’s the only way to enjoy these things”, Sam answers when Bucky shoots him a questioning glance.

Bucky’s about to argue that this isn’t a good idea, that they are both underaged, that authority figures are right there, but most importantly, that he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle himself around Sam if he’s intoxicated. But Sam’s smiling, looking at Bucky through his lashes and it makes Bucky’s heart lurch and the words Bucky wants to spit out get stuck on his tongue. Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s taking the flask and the taste of Jack Daniels is coursing through him, swallowing his protests and inhibitions all the same.

It’s only after Bucky is six whiskey swigs deep that he finally realizes he’s made a mistake. Somehow they’re on the dance floor, right in the middle of the crowd, being pushed and pulled as the crowd jumps around to some trap song.

But Sam is keeping his promise of not leaving Bucky’s side and it’s so kind and noble, just like he is.

Bucky can see the questioning glances Sam’s other friends are giving him, all the while ignoring the glares directed toward Bucky himself.

But Sam doesn’t play favorites, treats everyone with respect, even moody and pouty and sour people who insist on self-imposed isolation. Sam still befriends them, still walks with them home after school, still makes time for them, still respect their boundaries, still supports them even when they don’t see anything worthy within themselves.

Six whiskey swigs later, standing in a banquet room that looks more like a wedding than a prom, surrounded by people he hates, in an ill-fitting suit and uncomfortable shoes, Bucky Barnes realizes he’s in love with Samuel Wilson. Realizes that he’s been in love with Sam for a while now, actually.

Bucky’s ready for his flight or fight instincts to kick in, waits for the telltale signs of his anxiety to flare up but nothing happens. His classmates are continuing to do whatever the hell they were doing before Bucky’s came to his grand realization. The world, shockingly, continues to spin on its axis. It’s almost like Bucky finally coming to terms with his feelings for Sam is normal.

Honestly, who would’ve thought?

Maybe it’s the alcohol coursing through him that makes him feel so lax or maybe it’s the weight that’s finally been lifted off of his shoulders, but Bucky feels positively giddy at the notion that he loves Sam. Feels the endorphins multiply when the thoughts cross his mind that he should tell Sam right now how he feels.

There’s a small voice in the back of his brain begging him to reconsider; begs him to realize that someone like Sam could never and would never love someone like Bucky back. Bucky with all of his flaws and all of his darkness; it would be selfish to ask someone like Sam, a literal ray of sunshine to love him back, the voice says. To pull Sam into Bucky’s own patented abyss of despair is just cruel.

But then he looks up and he and Sam are now making eye contact again and despite everything that’s telling his mind no, Bucky decides to tell his heart yes.

He’s turning to face Sam before his mind can catch up and repeat how terrible of an idea this is. But Sam’s smiling at him, always smiling at him and like everything else in the past school year, it wills Bucky to believe in himself. Gives Bucky the courage to let go, to relax, to...

What happens next is an out-of-body experience and Bucky isn’t even sure what is happening but his body is on auto-pilot and he’s reaching out to grab at Sam’s jacket and pull him into a fervent kiss.

He doesn’t know how long he stays wrapped up around Sam, his flesh hand cradling the back of Sam’s head and his metal one fisting the man’s jacket. What he does know is that he never wants it to end, knows that he never wants to pull away from the warmth radiating from Sam’s mouth on his, from Sam’s entire body pressed up against his.

Truth be told, it’s always been Sam, it’s been Sam since the very first moment Bucky saw him. Bucky knew he was enamored by his geography partner when Sam first sat next to him or the first time Sam spoke to him or the time Sam did literally anything. He could list off hundreds of examples of when he had started to fall in love, but the only thing of importance right now is Sam, in his arms.

Faintly, Bucky can here the other students around him react to the scene that has just played out in from of them. Bucky can practically feel their weighted gazes on his back but he doesn’t care. The only thing on his mind is communicating to Sam how much he wants to be his.

Bucky’s so wrapped up in his own emotions that he doesn’t feel the gentle hand on his lower back, leading him back to the corner where the silver flask is still neatly hidden from watchful eyes.

“Did you mean it?”, Sam questions.

Bucky’s trying to read his expression but he can’t.

For the first time since he’s known him, he doesn’t see a smile on Sam’s face. Panic starts to set in at the idea that Bucky has ruined his only friendship over a stupid kiss. 

What in the hell was he thinking?

“I’m serious Buck, talk to me please”, Sam is pleading and Bucky hates it, hates seeing any other emotion on that beautiful face but pure, unadulterated joy.

“I - fuck Sam- I just want to be with you”, Bucky stammers out. If he would’ve known how the night was gonna go, he would’ve prepared a speech but alas. It’s just him and his brain trying to formulate a coherent sentence that explains just how much Bucky needs Sam.

“You are my friend - shit - my best friend, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t want anything more than that”, Bucky starts.

The floodgates are opening and he can’t help himself now, every emotion he’s ever felt are all rushing to the surface. He doesn’t even know what to say, doesn’t know how to make it coherent, he just knows that he’s gotta make Sam understand.

Has to make him understand that what he feels is so intense, he can’t even express himself eloquently. Has to make Sam understand he only accepted admission to NYU cause that’s where Sam is going, has to make him understand how blind his mind is at times, how he can’t see anyone else but Sam.

But he just can’t get the damn words out.

It frustrates Bucky that he’s right on the precipice but can’t tip over fully, his own mind sabotaging him. But he hopes that Sam will understand him and his non-verbal cues, hopes that Sam doesn’t think he’s an idiot, Bucky just hopes, okay? He needs this to work, damn it because the man still wrapped up in his arms is Bucky’s endgame, there will never be anyone else.

Sam initiates the next kiss and it’s nothing like the one before. This is one is soft and exploring; this kiss feels like acceptance, feels like understanding, like Sam heard everything Bucky’s been desperately trying to say.

Bucky presses their foreheads together and exhales shakily, groans thinking about all of the trouble he’s caused tonight. He’s just outed himself in front of a few of his classmates but the voice in his head, always springing to action whenever Bucky fucks up, is surprisingly quiet and Bucky counts that as a win. Cuts himself some slack for the first time in a long time.

Sam pulls back first, a mischievous grin on his face, and plants a kiss in the middle of Bucky’s forehead.

“I knew you loved me”, he laughs and Bucky agrees.

He’s known for a while now.

AO3

[bpd-seishi]

for the au ask meme: the drrb talent gamble, pregame drrb, and the sdr2-drrb talent shift? owo - strawberry anon (i'm gonna send in a few more in portions!)

@strawberry-dangancanons i think three at a time is too many oops ;w; 

but!! rin has given me permission to link to the docs for these aus so u guys won’t be left totally in the dark uwu uwu so let’s go 

drrb talent gamble i’d also link the outfit doc but it’s unfinished pfft

1. astronomer seishi has 100% eaten a bath bomb at some point in his life, at the urging of shiori. he couldn’t help it, listen, it had sprinkles! it looked so good! he had to be taken to the hospital immediately afterwards RIP

2. he watched the alien movies when he was six because he was interested in space and he didn’t think they’d be that scary, and also they were just on at the time. he couldn’t sleep for weeks afterwards, but surprisingly, this wasn’t enough to crush his love for astronomy! 

3. for a while after the killing game, seishi couldn’t sleep alone. he had to have someone be there, be it akira, marin, shiori, hikaru or tsuki (even though she’s a robot, she still counts of course! :’0) (and her purr function is pretty comforting too ;w;) 

4. sometimes akira and marin talk about coding together, and even collaborate on projects sometimes. seishi has no idea what they’re talking about, but he loves hearing them so excited, so he usually listens in anyway and acts as their snack/water boy when they’re working really hard on something aaaaa

5. you know those little glow in the dark stars you can get for your room? seishi 100% has those all over his walls and ceiling. it’s partially because he lives for the space aesthetic, and partially because he’s deathly afraid of the dark lmao 

pregame drrb (rin’s posts, + marin and seishi) 

1. seishi’s super attached to his monomi plushy, even bringing her to school for a while until some bullies threatened to destroy her. he still adores her, though, and sometimes he talks to her to soothe himself 

2. most of the fanfics seishi would write for danganronpa involved talentswaps he created with marin, and they were often really long and explored how the different talents/personalities would cause different murders to happen. stuff like that’s always really fascinated him, and it was part of the reason why marin was able to get him into the series uwu 

3. seishi has 100% has cosplays of chiaki and mikan! he just....hasn’t worn them in public, because he’s too afraid to. he also wants a kyouko cosplay, but he has to save up for it. meanwhile, marin also has a chiaki cosplay, as well as a sonia cosplay, and they met ayumu at a con because he was wearing a nagito cosplay :0 

4. seishi’s online friends with a username of stardust-nico-xo who also writes fic for danganronpa! she writes a lot of poetic-y f/f stuff and seishi really appreciates her style. it took him like forever to actually work up the nerve to talk to her outside of fic reviews though RIP (if you couldn’t tell already it’s one himuro nico haha) 

5. occasionally, after a really hard day, seishi will invite marin over for comfort’s sake. sometimes though he’ll start to cry, and one time as a spur of the moment decision marin picked up his monomi plush and started talking to him in character until he started to calm down. it’s kinda become a ritual for them now if he gets really worked up and otherwise inconsolable and yes this headcanon is really self-indulgent let me have this okay i’m ;o;

sdr2-drrb talent shift (+ outfits if you guys are interested) 

1. at some point seishi totally wears chiaki’s swimsuit yes i just wanna see him in a bikini shut up okay? and all of his classmates are confused as to why he wants to wear a “girl’s” bathing suit. he just tells them that he wants to feel pretty lol (may or may not have a fic i wanna write about this scenario but ssshh) 

2. as mentioned in the outfit doc, misuzu has a dragon tattoo on her back. at one point she brings this up to seishi and he gets really excited at the thought (he just thinks it’s neat!) and asks if he can see it. at first she thinks he’s hitting on her though which leads to some. awkwardness lmao but like,, oh, honey....no--

3. akira’s music is a mix of emo rock and screamo. basically think mcr and [insert popular screamo band idk i don’t listen to that genre lmao]. he also sings for the group like ibuki does in chapter 3 and while it scares the absolute crap out of seishi, ayumu’s actually kinda into it. he’s emo leave him alone pfft 

4. i’d like to think that marin, maiko, and nico have a love triangle-ish, ot3 dynamic, kinda like gundham, kazuichi and sonia except healthier and with less stalking lmao 

5. like fuyuhiko, misuzu also wanted kasumi to leave their master-swords woman dynamic behind while being on the island. however, kasumi is much more manic and even less socially inclined than peko, so she pretty much botches that plan immediately when seishi and ayumu introduce themselves to the two of them and she pulls her sword on them :’) 

[rontra]

ANONYMOUS ASKED:

i really like mwot and was wondering, do you wanna talk/loredump/etc about mwot during this blessed month of pride? (if not that's totally cool!!! i really like the au and am curious about it!)

REPLY:

YES!!!!

umineko spoilers below and LONG POST KSDJDKSKD i really went infodumping......you got me right in an infodumping mood....

also im being very casual in this post so if something is like weird or vague its probably because i got tired of thinking about it and skipped ahead. SKJDSJD

mwot is an umi au and its very gay and very trans because i, a gay trans, decided it was TIME to INDULGE

LIKE A MOUNTAIN WIND FALLING ON OAK TREES also known as MWOT, MW/OT, Mountain Wind + Oak Trees, MW+OT, or literally any combination of its parts, is an eva/natsuhi au, set in a vague modern big city setting

https://rontra.tumblr.com/tagged/mountain-wind-oak-trees

it’s a comedy, mostly? it has elements of backstory transphobia and  stuff like that but that’s not really the story i want to tell with it, so  i don’t go too deeply into it in the main fic. it’s mostly comedy and Self Care: The  Story (once these nerds get around to acknowledging that self care is  good, anyway!!!!)  

Eva is 20, nb lesbian (though she doesnt know half of it to begin with). generally a bitchard at the beginning but also deeply craving that Validation. Invested in making the fic harder to write due to pronoun shenanigans (shoutout to the lengthy section of intimate emotional scenes that uses no pronouns at all for eva but is narrated by them in 3rd person)

Natsuhi is like 21 i guess because im a sucker for her having like an annoying 1-3 years on eva bc eva would get mad about it. Also she’s trans, gray-ace, hopeless romantic, generally full of “quickly raising your eyebrows and looking away while sipping your drink and thinking Yikes” energy. weaponizes indifference but is no stranger to harder means. she’s a smart cookie

Sayo is also 20, gender clown car living her best life. Presents differently depending on mood and whim

krauss is like 22 or whatever. for housekeeping’s sake, rosa and rudolf are too young to matter (8 and 10, or something like that). dont even worry about it

honestly the weirdest part of the au is eva and sayo being the same age

also this au is the origin point of me & my friends using akikaze as nat’s maiden name. the more you know!

-

USHIROMIYA GOLD dishes up that yellow metal like you wouldn’t believe. led by kinzo whos so fuckin good at sniffing out that sweet sweet gold people are half convinced the man has psychic powers. Any piece of land he’s got his eyes on, he WILL get his hands on, no matter who owns it right now.

the land kinzo wants At The Moment is owned by the AKIKAZE FAMILY who have been notably on the decline recently. they’re in the economic shithole so this land is basically all they’ve got right now, so when kinzo wants it and it suddenly Has Value, they’re like “oh, shit,

anyway the deal basically shakes out that like, he gets the land and all the gold that may or may not be in it. he offers his eldest son in exchange for this land, to marry their daughter: in the bonds of marriage graciously ensuring a part of the winnings will spill over on them, while keeping them under his control without money coming into the picture.

Everything’s working out great and coming up kinzo. the deal is closed and everyone’s happy (i guess). until ONE DAY, just a few narrow weeks before the akikaze girl is set to move in with the ushiromiyas,

KINZOS

OLDEST

SON

DISAPPEARS

!!!!!

Krauss dislikes being told what to do, and his father’s ideals never lined up with his own. He thinks this entire thing is sort of fucked up and can’t live under his dad’s thumb anymore. That's why, immediately following Kinzo’s agreement with the Akikaze family, Krauss disappears. He’s just kinda left for greener pastures, to unfold his own life and pursue his own interests independent of the Ushiromiya name. He leaves behind a letter explaining it & basically he forfeits both name and inheritance, and Kinzo’s incredible deal is suddenly in jeopardy.....

obviously this is kinzo though, and all of his solutions are like, 20 times more complicated than they have to be? he’s DETERMINED to have this land so he’s like “i need an eldest son. shit rudolf is only like 9. fuck. well okay i have an eldest daughter with a deeply complicated need for validation and success entirely driven by her overall neglect at my hands“ and the rest. as they say. is history (???)

Ushiromiya Eva always saw Krauss as unworthy of the inheritance, and to her, his disappearance confirms this. She grew up always being made to feel inferior to her older brother, usually being ignored in favor of him, and it's bred a complex need for validation in her. Her values and strengths are more like Kinzo’s than her brother’s, and Kinzo recognizes this in the wake of Krauss’ disappearance.

basically he concocts this really wild scheme where eva has to pretend to be his oldest son and marry this girl or whatever so he can seal this stupid gold deal and she’s like “well lol if i get to be family heir” and hes like “yes that’s what im saying” and shes like “awesome let’s do it”

all of the servants are in on it too of course. specifically kinzo enlists SAYO who works there as normal staff and isn’t otherwise tangled into this family’s mess in any way whatsoever. she’s just here to serve tea and looks. anyway he’s like “you work on this with eva--i mean evan, my son, you must have misheard--and eva you have to listen to whatever yasuda says” and eva is like “that last part will not be frustrating for me at all”.

Yasuda as reigning Household Gender Presentation Expert is like “i think i just got orders from the master to bully eva?” and eva is like “i wish i could fire you but my dad just banned me from doing that” and then gradually...over the course of the project......they become....friends.........

(the au is tagged eva & sayo for a reason. they become FRIENDS!!)

mostly its just various combinations of shkanon dunking on eva and its all VERY good.

during all these shenanigans we make some startling realizations like “gender euphoria is a hell of a drug” and stuff, which is extremely harrowing for everyone (note: not for everyone. just for eva, who makes 10,000 realizations every day, and should not have been counted.)

(ok sidenote did anyone else put on their first binder & go like “hmmm. i live here now” because. mood. im projecting entirely into this fic)

Gender Clown Car yasuda (currently as lion) is like “you know there’s like more than 2 genders” and eva’s like “you fucking wehat”.

i also make a REALLY INVOLVED JOKE ABOUT CASTIGLIONI GOLD, THE RIVAL COMPANY, and how BEATRICE’S KID LOOKS A LOT LIKE LION, and EVERYONE thinks this is all VERY funny

(i would like to see it. also kinzo owes beatrice castiglioni $20 and she’s never let him forget it.)

now wrapped up in this stupid impostor scheme AND full of big wild nonbinary energy AND!! WITH AN INFURIATING NEW FRIEND!! IN THE STAFF!!! this one funky ushiromiya is all ready to get in on an arranged marriage or whatever. provided NO ONE EVER FINDS OUT that they’re faking it and replacing the Actual Heir, which would no doubt ruin the scheme AND bring kinzo’s wrath on everybody involved, of course.

-

AKIKAZE NATSUHI IS READY TO PUNCH HER FIANCE IN THE THROAT IF HE EVEN LOOKS AT HER but she understands what’s happening here. she knows she didn’t have a say in this from the very beginning. that the deal was sealed for her as soon as the name “ushiromiya” was said. she knows her family married her off quick in a bid to get rid of her. if she’s humiliated by this ordeal, she is far too proud to show it. she packs her bags and walks into the mansion with her head held high........and immediately has this exchange with her fiance

and this one

so that’s kind of the energy we’re going for with these two.

(natsuhi’s line in the second cap was going to be removed for being Way Too Intense, but everyone i talked to said it was too hot to cut, so i decided to indulge us all. blame the lesbians)

they IMMEDIATELY don’t get along but they kinda agree to like, mind their business, since neither of them are interested in playing house here. if they can get the wedding to go off without a hitch they can basically go back to never talking to each other again.

natsuhi’s entire angle here is essentially: her family was not that good, and this family likely won’t be better, BUT here she has a chance to build something new for herself. she’ll be out of her parents’ house. She needs this deal to stay for her own sake, but she has to get out ahead of her husband and set up a dynamic that favors her. when she meets evan she essentially gauges the kind of person she’s dealing with and picks her approach accordingly: this is not a soft man, and she has to be hard in turn to avoid being steamrolled.

and its VERY hot

anyway some stuff happens and it eventually they both sorta get each other’s secrets. eva is not the firstborn son and natsuhi is not the card kinzo thought he was pulling from her family’s hand and theyre both toast if word hits the public. directly after the wedding they establish a tense alliance of keeping each others’ secrets....

and then they.....fall...in l

there’s some fun tensions and realizations. eva is like “so im quickly catching on that no praise i ever received from dad was on my own merit and he’s kind of a dirtbag all around and his validation is kind of not worth it” and nat is like “word our parents are chains” & they run kinzo over with the down w cis bus. it’s fine. they get postcards from krauss sometimes. he has a motorbike now.

DID I MENTION THE PRACTICE KISSING

BC THEY HAVE TO PRACTICE! FOR THE!! PUBLIC WEDDING!!!!

and thats mwot i guess. it’s my au where natsuhi’s accent color is red and some other stuff happens too. happy pride month

[callioope]

Questions Meme!

Hello, yes, this HAS in fact been sitting in my drafts for ages and ages. Thank you to both @crazy-fruit and @ruby-red-inky-blue for tagging me and for waiting forever for me to answer (oops)! I’m sorry I took so long, but y’all ask really good questions and I had to think about some of them!

Question Set 1

1. How are you?

Oh, I’m doing alright! Thank you for asking. The earlier part of this year was rather rough, but therapy has been helping. I’ve been rather busy these past few weeks with traveling, and my schedule going forward is rather busy, too, so while I’m excited for those things, I’m also excited for the eventual moment I can just relax.

2. What would you say are your talents?

Writing. Making fancy color-coded spreadsheets. I’ve been told that my super power is getting random (annoying) songs stuck in other people’s heads. Does that count as a talent? 

3. If you had the chance to start your life again, would you take it?

NOPE. No thanks. I like where I am at right now, and I would not want to relive my awkward years. Er, at least, my more awkward, younger years. Cuz I’m totally still awkward. Just less awkward. I hope?

4. Which language would you like to speak instantly? 

HMM. ALL OF THEM. It’s really hard to choose! 

Language fascinates me, and in another life I feel like I would have devoted a lot more time to learning more of them. Unfortunately, I really hated German class in high school because of the teacher’s tendency to put people on the spot -- I think that is sort of inherent in a language class, but I get anxiety speaking in public. 

Anyways, I suppose I’ll answer Turkish to this question, since spouse and I keep saying we’re going to try to learn Turkish via Duolingo. For the record, my HS offered six languages, which was the most I’ve ever heard of an American school offering, and I was always quite happy with my choice of German. (The others were Spanish, French, Italian, Chinese, and Latin.) I do wish I had maintained my German better, and I that I had more time to learn Spanish. 

5. Where would you like to be right now?

Honestly? I’m pretty happy when I’m at home. But if I had to answer where “else” would I like to be right now, out of the whole world? Being back on safari in Botswana is a top contender, as are a variety of places in Turkey, and also Munich. 

6. What name would you give yourself?

I’ve always liked my actual name (Elizabeth). I know I go by Liz; one of my HS friends was quite stubborn and I’m a bit stuck with it now, but I don’t mind it. There are worse nicknames that come from Elizabeth. I used to go by Fiona online; I’ve always been fond of that one. 

7. What is something you’re currently learning?

OOF, what a good question. I sorta blanked on this at first, and my first thought was uhhhh learning how to cope with my OCD??? I’m doing exposure therapy right now, ish. Emphasis on the ish. Also mindfulness. Does that really even count? I started a beginner’s knitting project several months ago that I never finished, does that count? (I just need to seam it, that’s what I’m putting off. I have knit plenty of scarves; however, this is my first hat.) I’m sort of teaching myself ukulele although I haven’t really learned any new chords or songs in awhile. I would very much like to take more photography classes with a focus on wildlife photography. That involves buying a new camera and... signing up for classes. 

Question Set 2

1. What is a detail in a piece of art/a text that you like that you really admire?

This was very difficult, at first because it was like looking at a bin full of loose things and just seeing an assortment of color and being overwhelmed by it all, and then because once I did start digging around, I kept finding different ideas and it was too hard too choose.

Character-building: In the A Song of Ice and Fire series, when Arya starts working for the House of Black and White, Martin stops using the name “Arya” as she dons different identities. For example, he uses “Cat” for a bit, among other names. It shows she’s trying to be someone else, but the caveat is that there are still little mannerisms and such that show she hasn’t really left Arya behind (I think maybe she bites her lip or something? I don’t remember specific examples because it’s been over 5 years since I read these books, but I do remember really appreciating the general technique at the time). 

Music: In The Beatles’ “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” I love those repeated arpeggios, over and over, building, intensifying, as the white noise comes in and you can just feel the heaviness of desire, of want... (and then I love how it just breaks so suddenly! And I know it wouldn’t have been intended this way because that’s the end of side one, but since I listen to the whole album on spotify, then those bright chords of “Here Comes the Sun” come in and god Abbey Road is the best Beatles album)

Writing: the poetry of Florence + The Machine’s “All This and Heaven Too,” obviously, since literally the title of my blog comes from that. I’d quote that whole song honestly. There’s something that speaks to me about the incapability of language to fully encompass just... everything. I mean, love in specific here, but also just everything. Words are just these little boats we put meaning on and we hope they make it to the other side but everyone takes ‘em a little differently. 

Like, look at this: 

And the words are all escaping, and coming back all damaged And I would put them back in poetry if I only knew how 

And this: 

Words were never so useful So I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before

Anyways, there’s also something just incredibly soothing about the music, too, and how she sings the song. There’s another line, from Sara Bareilles’ “Miss Simone” that goes “How does she know what a heart sounds like?” which pretty much sums up how I feel about “All This and Heaven Too” (and also many of Sara Bareilles’ song, especially that particular album, but I digress).

Anyways I did have some art examples, but I think I’ve rambled long enough.

2. Is there an idea that you really liked but had to discard because you couldn’t get it to work?

If I really like an idea, I don’t really “discard” it so much as put it on the shelf to attempt later. Out of recent fic ideas, I’ve really struggled with “How to Lose a Spy in 10 Days.” I first thought of this in late spring 2017, and for awhile I couldn’t stop thinking about it, but I was working on Whatever I Do at the time, and wanted to wait before starting another WIP. By the time I got to writing this, the inspiration well had sort of dried up. 

I really like the idea of a fun cat-and-mouse rom-com idea where Jyn and Cassian keep outsmarting each other, with a whole lot of competency kink, some “oh shit we actually work well together!” and maybe some battle couple. And I was really looking forward to both the moment when they both finally let their guards down around each other and the big confrontation when they actually find out each other’s identities. But it involved more mission writing than I was prepared for, and I really struggled with it. I think I need to start over but that involves a lot of working, so it’s unfortunately shelved for now, and I’m working on a “You’ve Got Mail” concept instead.

3. Is there something fandom-related you would like to be able to do (i.e. I’d like to be able to make gif sets but can’t)?

Oh, yes, absolutely! Really anything that’s not writing related, lol. Gif sets, art, etc. But most of all, I have a music video idea for the song “So Close” from Enchanted--like I have a whole story board plotted out in a google doc. But I don’t have any video editing software, don’t even know how you get the scenes for a music video, etc. I have made videos before, but not since high school, and I don’t even have the cheap, basic video editing program I used back then. Sometimes I think I should just attempt make a gif set instead, but there are so many lyrics! and scenes that go with the lyrics! that I don’t know how to consolidate it into that format anyways. 

4. What is a skill you’ve acquired through fandom work?

Hmm, this was tough. I’m going to say HTML. I’m not up-to-date on webdesign at all, but back in my early fandom days, I ran a few fansites. I still sometimes use HTML while leaving comments or to edit posts on dreamwidth or w/e. It’s super basic, but it has helped me at work at a variety of jobs. I take it for granted that people my age should know basic HTML, but a lot of them don’t, and then a lot of people I work with now are older and definitely not tech savvy. 

5. Do you think anyone can learn to create great art, or does it take talent?

Well, I’m going to cheat a little. I do think think that anyone can learn to create great art, but I also think that everyone has a talent at something, and part of learning to create great art is recognizing your skill sets and honing those. If that makes sense? I’ve sort of seen both sides to this. I’ve seen naturally talented people create great things, but I also think that they’re probably cheating themselves if they’re not learning and honing their craft and trying to get better. But I’ve also seen people who started out making things that maybe you wouldn’t call great, but they worked hard over and over again, and looking at their work now, you’d say they were talented without ever knowing the difference. Great art = talent + learning + passion. Did that even answer the question? ...moving on

6. Do you prefer AUs or in-universe? Why?

I prefer to write in-universe, for sure. I find modern AUs more challenging, mostly because--and I feel kinda bad saying this--it’s very difficult for me to tap into Jyn and Cassian’s characters without some kind of tragic background. Their experiences and how they coped with them shape their personalities, and it’s really hard to separate them from those. My WWII was easier because, hey, it’s war, not so different from in-verse. But I initially tried to write Learning Curve in a modern AU and I was just totally bored. Putting it in universe made it more interesting to me, especially having to finagle a happier plot inverse. IDK, it might even be that I generally struggle to make up any conflict in modern AUs that feels interesting.

THAT SAID, lol, I definitely read either. So it’s probably strange for me to be hung up on it because I’ve read nice fluffy modern AUs and found them perfectly engaging.

Tagging: @theputterer, @magalis, @allatariel, @mythologicalmango, @threadsketchier  MY USUAL DISCLAIMER APPLIES: no pressure if you just don’t wanna, AND if anyone sees this and was like “aw hey i wish she’d tagged ME” well guess what, I wish I did too! so go ahead and do it and let me know and then i’ll know to tag you next time, too :-) 

Questions:

When you suffer a setback or a series of setbacks when creating (writing, drawing, knitting, any kind of crafty project thing you work on... even work), what are some strategies you use to cope with that stress and move forward?

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to create/make and what did you learn from it?

What part of a bicycle would you be?

What’s a helpful writing (art/crafting/work) technique you’ve learned?

What’s a piece of art that made you see things differently?

You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why?

What was the last board game you played and what did you like or not like about it?

*sorry these came out rather writer heavy!

[onewhoturns]

fictober.23.: the first appointment

#Fictober19 Prompt: 23. You can’t give more than yourself. Fandom: Oxenfree Characters: Jonas, Duke (OC) Rating: T (no warnings apply) Tags: Angst-ish, emo Jonas, mental health & therapy Word Count: 2802

So... I'm posting this in order to maintain Fictober, but in all honesty this is actually a side scene/side story to a previously mentioned project that is still in the works and has yet to be posted. There may be some spoilers for the beginning of that fic. This is more an exploration of who this AU's version of Jonas is, how he's been affected by the things in his life- I'm calling it 'emo Jonas' but it may not be the type of emo you're expecting, I don't know.

If you want to read it when it comes up in the fic, it's looking like that would be anywhere from chapter 6 to chapter 9 (we're still in the midst of writing at the moment), and I'll update the summary and add it in as a related work when that becomes applicable.

For now, if you still want to read now (and it's cool if you don't), enjoy Jonas's first meeting with Duke, with no context to the rest of the story.

-

An appointment. ‘Like a doctor’s visit.’ Yeah. Well, maybe.

“Hey. You want to come on in?”

Jonas holds his breath for a second, standing from the waiting room to follow the man inside. The guy is in his early 30s, brown hair with a bit of gray starting in, just barely this side of messy, with glasses that look like he should be drinking craft brews at some gastropub in Portland. Duke. That’s a name, alright.

“Nice to finally meet in person.”

Jonas just nods. He’s not great at speaking to new people. Took him a couple weeks to start talking in intake. But he has kinda met Duke before. A pretty long phone interview, not to mention emails. They wanted to find a good therapist, and Camena had options. He’d settled on Duke.

“It’s nice to have all the paperwork out of the way already. Kind of a waste of session time, really.”

Jonas’s brows raise as he tips his head in acknowledgment and agreement.

Duke has a leg crossed over the other, and Jonas realizes, in retrospect, that the guy is actually his height. Maybe an inch shorter, but pretty damn close.

“How tall are you?” They’re the first words out of Jonas’s mouth, but they do their part.

“Six three. On a good day, anyway.”

“Nice.”

“Shoe size?”

“13.”

Duke winces audibly. “Damn, you beat me. 12 and a half.”

Jonas smirks a bit. And the ice is broken.

“You came from school?”

Jonas’s eyes wander to the side table between his chair and the unoccupied couch. He reaches for some kind of adjustable wire toy, turning it inside out and flipping it into different shapes. “Yup.”

“What’s your electives?” It’s a better question than ‘how was your day,’ at least. Duke’s foot is bouncing idly, as well.

“Gym and weight training; shop.”

“At CHS, right? Wilkinson still teaching wood shop?”

Wilkinson? “Yeah, I think that’s his name. Old guy, wears a lanyard with a whistle on it even though I don’t think he does any sports stuff?”

“Yep. He’s not too bad. Get him talking about baseball, that’s a thing. Does he still have that slugger in the workshop?”

“I… don’t know?”

“He’s got two, actually, I think. Louisville Slugger wooden bats, one official and one he made. If he still has it. I heard one year some kids stole it for a prank.”

“Kinda a dick move, the guy’s gotta be at least 70.”

“Yeah. Kids can be idiots. Present company excluded, of course.”

“Technically an adult, and I’d agree regardless.”

“When we talked before, you sounded kinda meh on the Individual Studies thing. How’s that looking?”

“It’s…” Jonas pulls a face. “Still meh on it. Some of the other kids are… ehh. Remind me of guys from North Valley, thinking they’re the shit. And the teachers - or whatever they’re called, aides? They’re a mixed bag. This one girl - woman, I guess - she seems pretty cool. Darcy. Good attitude, even if she seemed kinda fake at first.”

“I’m not sure I totally get what the course is, to be honest.”

“I mean, I’ve got three periods of it, it gets old fast. Though— I mean I guess they’re not all the same. First period for me seems more like… learning skills?” Jonas winces. “I dunno, it’s kinda cringey sometimes. And then third is gonna be assessment stuff— kinda miserable, just packets of standardized test questions and shit like that. Last period is chill though. Basically like a study hall for me, working on the stuff from the tests. And I’ve been getting out a little early, so I can-” He stops.

Duke waits a second for him to continue, and when he doesn’t, he lifts his chin from looking at the pad of paper in his lap (where Jonas can see little geometrical doodles as well as his illegible scrawl of whatever he’s noting). “A reminder; mandatory reporting doesn’t include stuff like truancy, just plans to harm yourself or others. And I consider ‘plans’ to actually mean plans.”

“So… there’s this girl, right?”

“A friend?”

Jonas hesitates. “Yyeahhh…”

“Or… sounds like maybe not just a friend?”

He shakes his head, “No, definitely just a friend, just… kinda insane.”

“Fun fact; ‘insane’ is really a legal term.”

Jonas rolls his eyes. “Kinda wild, then. Her and this other guy, too. They kinda like… adopted me?”

“Is that a positive or a negative?”

“I think it’s a positive? But— right, my point was, it gives me time to dip out the back and then meet them in the other parking lot.”

“Why the other parking lot?”

Jonas shoots Duke a flatly skeptical look. “Well they’re not gonna come meet me over in the ‘special’ wing.”

Duke huffs out a short laugh. “Wow, okay, strong feelings about IS are still there I see.” Even as Jonas is rolling his eyes again, he goes on. “So the wild duo. What kind of wild? You think they’ll get in the way of treatment?”

That makes him think for a second. “Um… no? I dunno. The guy is kinda stupid rich and somehow has a line to a shit ton of weed, apparently. Which could be a problem.”

Duke’s brows have risen high. “Could be, yeah. Does your JPPO do random testing? Think being around them could mess with your results?”

Jonas shakes his head. “Nah, they’re scheduled. Every other two weeks. And that should be done by the end of June, and the testing might be ditched entirely when we go down to only meeting once a month. Plus apparently he’s more of an edibles guy, so I’m not super worried about anything accidental. I can always just keep away for a few days before testing, shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Even though you’ve been adopted?”

He snorts a bit at that. “Guess I can’t know for sure. Not too worried, though.”

“That’s good. How exactly did you manage to get adopted?”

“The girl was my tour guide first day. I guess she thought I was cool, ‘cause she introduced me to her friend and… I dunno. We exchanged numbers and stuff. Texted. They’re kinda high energy for me, but also-” Jonas hesitates, rolling his eyes before continuing. “It’s weird, ‘cause Alex is kinda… popular? She’s a total dork, constantly jokes about being a witch, but it feels like everyone knows her? And likes her? It’s weird.”

“Huh. Are you saying you think they shouldn’t?”

“I’m saying…” Jonas shrugs. “Eh. She’s nice enough, I get that. But like… I feel like at North Valley she would’ve been… I mean, not disliked. Considered annoying, maybe, in large doses. Not exactly a class clown, but that same idea. More of a subject of entertainment than friendship.”

“That’s an interesting way of seeing things.”

“What do you mean?”

“Analytical.”

Jonas considers that for a second. “…Maybe? It’s just kinda how the world is, I’m not complaining about it or anything.”

“Are you unhappy about it?”

He shrugs. “No? Like I said; it’s just how it is. People offer certain benefits, right? Sometimes that’s, like… like someone who always knows the homework. If we’re thinking concretely here. And then there’s the one who always has a pencil you can borrow. —It’s like a study group sorta analogy. There’s someone who’s able to get everyone together at once, and someone who can talk to the teacher and argue on your behalf, but who you might not want to spend time with outside of class ‘cause they argue with everyone. And there’s a class clown type, who’s really entertaining but can sorta get in the way if you’re trying to be serious.” Jonas pauses again. “I mean, there’s a lot. But everyone kinda has their strengths and weaknesses, right? It’s like a teamwork thing.”

“So where do you fit in this?”

He thinks for a moment, still playing with the wire cage. “I dunno. I have a car.” That’s part of it at least, even if other things come to mind as well.

“You think that’s what people see you for? Your car?”

Jonas’s lips pull. “I’m not saying that’s my only redeeming quality, I know I’m not just some dude with a car. That’s just, like, the prime benefit.”

“What else?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your other ‘redeeming qualities.’”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m— I know I have them, okay? I’m- I have skills. But they aren’t- y’know, like, my function in a social group.”

“What if you didn’t have your car? You can’t give more than yourself— what qualities do you think you’re bringing.”

“…Alex seems to think my height is a benefit.”

“She obviously has not been 6’3 and attempted to sit in a compact sedan.”

Jonas cracks a smile. “Yeah it’s cute, she’s not tiny but both her and Ren are like… she said it before, I don’t remember what it was 5’5 or 6 or something. Joked about needing me to retrieve pickle jars or whatever.”

“So you’re the guy with the car and the pickle-getter.”

“Sure.”

“That all?”

“Well- I mean, the tall thing is also like—” he waves a hand, “-y’know, the other tall stuff.”

“Can’t say I know what you mean, apart from reaching things and being asked about the weather.”

“You know.” Jonas fidgets slightly. Duke has to know that part of things. “The kinda… intimidation thing.”

“How do you mean?”

Jonas’s lips pull again in that vague passing annoyance. “You know. Being tall and looking— not scary exactly, but like… imposing, I guess. Basically looking like someone you don’t want to mess with.”

“And that’s what you think you bring to a friendship?”

“Yeah. Like… like a bodyguard or something.”

“You think your friends are in danger you have to protect them from?”

“No- well.” He lets out a short sigh, a rueful smirk hooking his lips. “Not yet, anyway. And once they are, I’m betting they’ll have put themselves into it.”

“What does the whole ‘bodyguard’ thing mean, then?”

“Um.” A few images pass through Jonas’s mind, and he hesitates, face impassive for a second before he shrugs again. “Trying to keep her from getting hurt. I guess.”

“…That doesn’t really sound like something based solely on height.”

His fingers twitch, and Jonas’s ears feel warm. “Look, I spent a year in juvie for physical assault. It might not just be the height.”

“You think she wants you to fight for her? Is this like… an American Gladiators kinda thing, or…?”

The laugh is just a huff of breath, but the corners of Jonas’s mouth are lifting. “I don’t think she wants me to fight. I’m just— And I don’t want to fight!” he assures Duke. “But like… there’s probably some element of ‘this guy makes a good meat shield’ or whatever.”

“You ever think they might just… like you? Like just, as you?”

He snorts. “I— I’m not saying they don’t! I mean, at the very least they tolerate me, and I assume they must like me, otherwise we wouldn’t text all the time. It’s really easy to ignore someone’s texts and make excuses.” Jonas isn’t even mad about the question, it’s so far removed from how he feels. “I’m just saying that there’s this fringe benefit for them.”

“And is that how you see them, as well?”

He shrugs a shoulder. “Honestly, they’re my allies right now. Not in a bad way - I like them, they’re fun - but at the moment their function in my social circle is connecting me to my new community, right? They’re transitional aids, like a kinda PREP thing. Or IS. I mean, she was a tour guide.”

“Sounds kinda dehumanizing.”

“It’s not meant to be. I’m— Look, we talked all the time about support systems and community engagement, and buying in, right? So, I’m building a support system of peers.”

Duke cocks his head, looking mildly bemused.

“What?”

“It sounds like you know the words pretty well.”

“Yeah, well. I didn’t talk much. Mostly listened.”

“Is that really how you think about the people around you? As… I don’t know, bricks in your support structure?”

“I mean, it’s not the only thing I’m thinking. I like the company, I like the distraction, they’re fun. But…” Another one-shouldered shrug. “I dunno, man, call it a justification if you want.”

“What do you mean?”

Jonas sighs. “Gives me a reason to keep trying.” Again, it’s not said in anger, or even in sadness. Just a straightforward factual statement.

“What would you do if you didn’t think of things that way?”

“Can’t know for sure, obviously. But— I dunno. Call it distress tolerance. Giving them a function gives me a reason to tough it out. Like—” He pauses. “…Yeah, no, I can’t figure out an analogy for the brick thing. Sticking with people instead of being— transient.”

“Transient.”

“Kinda drifting around. Moving through things.”

“You think you’re transient?”

“I think I’d survive without friends. Until shit started to go wrong, I guess.”

Duke is quiet, eyes narrowed like he’s trying to parse the statement, considering. “…I’m not sure I get it.”

“I like people, but all the— politics, I guess. It stresses me out. I’d rather just… not. At least, in group things. School, juvie— the social dynamic is this constant thing where you’re maintaining. Don’t shit where you eat and all that. Don’t fuck it up, you’re stuck there. All this work to not make things worse for yourself. Honestly, I’d rather just see people when I see them. All day every day is… a lot.”

“…Can I ask you a question?” He’s leaning forward, and his tone is a different kind of curious than he has been.

“I mean… that’s literally all you’ve been doing.”

“Your residential center, your stepdown stuff— they had GED programs. Why come back to high school?”

Jonas is spinning the little wire toy around one finger steadily, keeping an eye on it to avoid having it fly off, even as he picks up speed. “Dad wanted me to.” His stomach dips, and his voice is a little quieter. “Mom would, too.” He’s silent for a second, still spinning. “And it’s supposed to be good for me. Community engagement, support structures, all that.”

“Why do you think they wanted you to do school?”

“I mean, my mom was a teacher. My dad… just wants me to be well-adjusted. I think he wants me to feel normal again.”

“What do you think?”

Jonas’s gut has been steadily, gradually, slowly but surely filling with lead. He breathes evenly. Too evenly. Actively making the attempt. When he speaks, it’s a low mutter. “Not sure that’s possible, if we’re being honest.”

“Why not?”

He shakes his head. “I dunno. Things just— changed. Can’t really undo that.”

“…I mean, I agree that you can’t live in the past. Things happened, you can’t undo them, but you also can’t spend every minute thinking about them. I know mindfulness tends to get a bad rap ‘cause it’s sort of trendy in the mental health field right now, but there’s definitely a ton of upsides to it.”

“I’m… vaguely familiar.” Jonas’s voice is a bit wry.

“So you know the whole idea of where you’re living. The goal is being present. So not living in the past, or in the future, but in the here and now, without judgment.”

“…Okay…”

Duke is still bouncing his foot a bit. “What do you think? Like— really consider it for a second. What that means.”

“What, living in the present?” Duke shrugs in a casual kind of confirmation. Jonas sighs, fixes his eyes on the therapist, and tries to do as asked. “…I guess I just feel like that’s asking for trouble.”

“How so?”

“I mean… thinking about the future is kinda important. Otherwise you fuck things up and can’t undo them.”

“Who says you can’t?”

Jonas snorts. “You? Like… a minute ago?”

“I guess— maybe it’s just the use of ‘undo.’ You can’t rewind and make something not have happened, but you can control how you handle the consequences, how you potentially repair the situation, your reactions to things, all of that. But if you’re constantly fearing every possible outcome of anything you do… you do nothing.”

“So you’re saying not to think of consequences. You want me to just go party and violate parole and not care what might happen?”

“Well, no.” Duke actually rolls his eyes. “Hell— it’s a delicate balance, right? But some part of that has to be just allowing yourself to exist without judgment.”

“O…kay?”

“Or analysis.”

“…Ah.”

“I mean, it’s not like I’m advocating underage drinking or drugs or truancy or anything, but… You’re out, y’know? You’re in this do-or-die headspace, but your situation has changed dramatically. Now’s your chance to go back to being a kid. Live a little.”

[source for AO3]

[hollandsdisney]

Twin Flame

I love these prompts, they’re so good! I’d love to read 1 & 10 as Peter Parker and 7 as Tom!!! (Only if you have the time of course and are inspired!) I love your writing and enjoy reading your fics! 💕 please keep up the incredible work!

Requested: Yes

Prompts: “You better not have eaten my leftovers i swear...” and “I thought you had a thing for my best friend this whole time!” “Theres no way I could be more obvious than I was.”

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Nada

a/n: yay so glad you’re liking the prompts!! thank you for your patience and kind words💗

send me your request!

As dreadful as school and waking up at the crack of dawn was, you were never angry about having to go. If it meant you got to see Peter Parker’s face, it was all worth it. Yeah, it’s cheesy, but it was true. You couldn’t put it in simpler words.

He was in a majority of your classes, and you two got along so well. Everything you liked, he had an interest in. Even if you did have differences, you both were supportive of the other.

You considered him a good friend, although you wish you could be more.

Ever since he had that crush on Liz, however, you knew you couldn’t stand a chance. His infatuation with her grew, leaving your tender heart to shrink.

Nevertheless, you continued to stay friends with him, because you truly believed him to be your very best friend.

You walked out your front door greeted by Peter’s warm smile. In his hand he held 2 cups of coffee, and you let out a sigh of relief.

“Have I told you how much I adore you?” you gush, grabbing the drink from his hand.

“You might have mentioned it once or twice, but I like to be reminded,” he smiled, taking a sip from his drink.

“So, you ready for this test today?” he asked, as you two started your walk to school.

“I think so?” you replied, but it came out more as a question.

“That doesn’t sound very convincing, Y/N. Cmon, we studied all night for this, of course you’re ready!” he exclaimed, slightly nudging you.

“No, we only studied for 20 minutes before we got distracted with who can balance their pencil on their nose the best. Which is still me, by the way,” you smirk.

He scoffed. “First of all, that’s false, and second, you still opened the book and read the chapter. More effort than a majority of the class,” he nodded his head.

You continued your walk to class bantering back and forth, as well as quizzing the other on your test.

—————

By the time that you met up again, it was lunch time. You walked over to where Ned and Peter where and sat down across from them.

“Where’s MJ?” you asked.

“She got invited to go to the white house for some campaigning, I think,” Ned replied with a mouthful of food.

You nodded at his comment and began to eat your lunch.

“So, how’d you think of the test?” Peter asked.

You threw your head back and slightly shut your eyes.

“I honesty have no idea. I don’t think I did bad, but I never want to be too confident with my answer so… I’ll just say I think it was fair.”

“Oh stop, you definitely did amazing!”

“Says the brainiac at the table! You finished that test in 2 seconds. I still don’t understand how you’re so quick,” you pouted, playing with your mashed potatoes.

“I am not a brainiac,” Peter said, crossing his arms.

“You are pretty smart, Pete,” Ned turned his head towards Peter, giving him a look.

You motioned to Ned.

“See? Ned knows,” you said matter-of-factly.

Peter rolled his eyes.

���Well, something I don’t have the keenest eye for is art, and we need to work on that project for English so…your place tonight?” Peter suggested, pointing at you.

“Shit, I almost forgot about that..yeah yeah we can start it after school,” you say running your hand through your hair.

On your walk home from school with Peter, your hands happened to brush against one another every so often. And every time you noticed it, and every time the butterflies would torpedo around your stomach. You wondered if he felt them, too.

“Okay, so Shakespeare..” Peter began as you walked though the front door but trailed off, his face contorting, causing you to laugh.

“Calm yourself, Einstein, we can relax until we have to get to work,” you say, placing your backpack on the living room couch and making your way to the fridge in the kitchen.

“Yeah, well you’re the one that said we had to stay on task and not test out hidden talents such as balancing objects on your nose,” he protested, plopping on the couch.

You shook your head as you heated up leftover pizza from the night before with Peter.

“You better not have eaten my leftovers I swear...” you heard Peter say from the living room.

“I have not eaten it, past tense, but I am bout to devour it,” you giggle.

He pokes his head up from the couch, knees perched on the cushion facing you and arms crossed laying on the top of the couch.

“At least save me a bite,” he said, giving you a puppy dog look.

“I could, but this pizza is too good to pass up,” you say slyly, taking a bite right in front of him.

His jaw drops, looking so defeated by your action.

You drop the pizza and run up to hug him, but he dodges your embrace.

“Nope. I don’t hug pizza stealers,’ he tried to hide his smile.

“Oh hush it, there was one left!” you laugh, pressing into him more.

He finally gave in and hugged you back, but then proceeded to tickle you.

This was the worst punishment and you hated when he’d do this. Well, you loved to hate it.

Once you caught your breath, you noticed Peter looking down at and eyeing you.

“What happened?” you searched his eyes, beginning to panic.

Did you have something on your face? Did you do something wrong? He was the one that tickled you so-

“No, no nothing..you’re fine,” he laughed softly and helped you sit up.

“This is gonna sound dumb, but I heard a rumor today..” he trailed off.

“About..?” you persuaded him to keep going.

“You…having a crush..” he hesitated between words.

You shook your head in disbelief. You were never the one to be talked about in school, its not like you were popular or anything. And plus, you didn’t mention your crush on Peter to anyone except MJ. MJ I swear..

“..on Ned,” there was a pause and he looked up to meet your eyes.

You shut your eyes and felt your lips curve into a smile. You bit your bottom lip, trying to hold back the laugh that wanted so desperately to be let out.

“W-why-why are you laughing?” Peter’s eyebrows furrowed, not understanding what was so funny.

“Do you really believe I like Ned? You? Peter Parker? Ned’s best friend?” by now you were full on chucking.

“Well I-I don’t know!” he stuttered.

“Whew. That is a hoot! I love Ned, you know I do. But no, I do not have a crush on him,” you admit.

“Flash was so certain-“

“You heard this from FLASH? Oh c’mon Pete, you’re booksmart, but you’re definitely not streetsmart.”

You start to get off the couch but feel Peter’s hand grab your arm.

“Okay, okay. Then I have another question for you. If you did have a crush on someone, you’d tell me, right?” he asked as you slowly sank down into the couch.

“Well, y-yeah I guess,” you stammered. Oh no.

“Okay good, I don’t want to feel left out,” he laughed awkwardly.

“Who would you think I had a crush on?” you rolled your eyes. This boy is something else, you thought.

He traced patterns in the corduroy of the sofa.

“Me?..” he confessed, refusing to look up at you.

You blinked. Wait a second. Hold up.

“I know thats dumb-I shouldn’t have said that-“

“How..did you know?” you choked out, realizing its now or never to let him know. Also how did he know.

His eyes shot back up to search your face for any signs of wit but let out a breath.

“I didn’t. I kinda took a chance there. Honestly, I thought you had a thing for my best friend this whole time!” he laughed.

“Oh, Peter, theres no way I could be more obvious than I was,” you remark, shrugging.

“No way! You showed no signs of liking me,” he wiggled his finger.

You looked at him in disbelief. All the subtle flirting, the unnecessary touching, the lingering looks. All of that wasn’t obvious?

“Pete, the one thing I didn’t do that would have given it away was kiss you, but even then you probably wouldnt have gotten the picture!” you snapped.

There was a pause and you realize what you just said. You bit your bottom lip and see Peter’s eyes travel towards them.

“Uh, I-I think I’d get the hint if you did,” his voice was slightly above a whisper and he scooted closer to you. he cupped your face in his hand and started to lean in slightly.

“Is this okay?” he asked, inches away from your face.

“Yes,” you whisper, and before you could process what was happening, you felt his lips on yours. The kiss was sweet and tender, and you’d never had imagined it being as perfect as this.

He definitely got the picture now.