#once I��m not in crisis mode I want to work on it so bad

[ms-demeanor]

While I love the theory of the depression post, the cause of my depression is my own ugliness and inadequacy. And alas no amount of small external things ever distract me from having to see myself be myself, feel myself, every moment. It just shows other things are better than me, once again.

Okay but what if your brain is lying to you about that.

Did someone sit with you and examine your life and all your actions at some point saying “yep, anon is totally inadequate, doesn���t measure up to standards 21-a through 47-m of being a person, that’s where the depression is coming from” or is that a thing that your brain has told you?

Because depression brain lies.

You exist. You’re a person with a presence in the world. That is adequate. You are reaching out and making contact with people. That is adequate.

Depression brain likes to tell us that we’re failures, that we haven’t ticked the right boxes or finished all the projects that we meant to, or that we’ve let down all our friends and family and are failures, irredeemable, intolerable, inadequate failures.

But. Like. Your brain is an asshole and its checklist of what you have to do to be “adequate” is completely impossible and you can never measure up to it so. Don’t? You really don’t have to? Just being here and existing as a person in the world is a good enough reason to want to exist without pain and misery.

It’s impossible to fail enough as a person that you DESERVE to feel this way, so it’s okay to take steps to feel better, even if they seem stupid and silly and like they won’t work because your depression is just a PART of you and you’ll NEVER FEEL BETTER and you SHOULD feel like this because you’re a BAD PERSON. (All of those all caps words are lies that depression brain tells a lot of us. They’re not true for me, I’m guessing they’re not true for you either because I honestly and legitimately believe that they’re not true for any human beings and unless you’re about to tell me some really cool facts about the universe then you’re a human being and you don’t deserve to feel like this, couldn’t do anything to deserve to feel like this)

Now, let’s talk about ugliness.

Physical appearances are totally immaterial and have no bearing on your worth or value as a person and if people treat you badly for being physically ugly those people fucking suck and you don’t have to pay attention to them. They and their shitty opinions are not your problem.

BUT if you’re talking about emotional/mental ugliness, well, that’s a thing that depressed people often deal with.

We’ve got a lot of ugly thoughts, sometimes we think cruel things about others as well as ourselves. Sometimes we end up being unpleasant to be around; sometimes we even end up manipulating other people and that’s certainly not a good thing.

But there’s a difference between having ugly thoughts and ugly emotions and being a bad, cruel, or unpleasant person.

It’s okay to think ugly things. You’re probably never going to stop doing that and without a lot of practice you’re going to reach for ugly reactions as the first response to anything that upsets you.

This is an excellent reason to learn to recognize and articulate your feelings and to take responsibility for how they impact other people.

Because here’s the thing, being a “bad person” internally doesn’t really matter (I mean, it matters in the long-term context of your ongoing mental health but that is a problem for someone who is not in deep crisis mode to grapple with) so long as it doesn’t impact other people.

But, okay, let’s say you’re right and your depression is caused by the fact that you’re an inadequate, ugly person.

Over time writing down good things that you enjoy will STILL prevent you from dropping into depressive spirals and will still provide evidence that you’re capable of experiencing positive emotions.

Even if there’s a “legitimate” reason for your depression there’s no reason to make it worse and it’s not cheating on the universe if you take steps to alleviate the symptoms.

Also, tip for people who have issues with feeling inadequate:

Don’t just write down things that make you feel good, write down when YOU do a good thing.

Were you there for a friend? Did you help your sibling with homework? Did you offer to pick up groceries for your neighbor? Did you volunteer for the Trevor Project? Did you finish writing a paper? Did you update a fanwiki?

WRITE IT DOWN WHEN YOU MAKE AN IMPACT ON THE WORLD. Write it down when you do something that makes someone else’s day easier, write it down when you finish a project, write it down when you do favors for people.

You don’t have to, like, go out and BRAG about these things, but when your depression brain is saying “hey you’re a shithead who has never finished anything and never helped anyone” then you can go “bullSHIT I helped that guy who needed a jump last week, and two weeks ago I finished my midterms.”

I have complicated feelings about this because I think the definition of “worth” our society imposes on people is harmful - “You are worth more than your productivity” is genuinely the most helpful thing that anyone has ever said to me and was actually life-changing - but there’s still value in being able to point to the world and go “I did that and it mattered” and, yeah. That song you wrote mattered. Picking up your mom’s medicine from the pharmacy mattered. Giving cash to someone who needed it mattered. You have value in the world and it’s okay to write down the valuable things to do to use them as evidence in the bullshit show trial your brain is setting you up to fail.

Also.

So what if things are better than you.

There are worse things than you too.

Write a list of the things that you are better than.

“I am better than every single employee of ICE.”

“I am better than that girl who built a career off of carrying a gun at Kent State.”

“I am better than literal dogshit and even literal dogshit is an important part of the local ecosystem so at least I’ve got that going for me.”

Like, yeah, I am *NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD* as evidence that the moon is wet, but I’m better than cities that fund school resource officers.

ALSO ALSO

This specific type of negative thinking, the “your advice about depression is very good but it doesn’t apply to me because I’m a special category of unrecoverable awfulness” is a very, very common symptom of untreated, unmanaged depression. It is similar to the “your advice about depression is very good but doesn’t apply to me specifically because I have [x] barrier that prevents me from writing a journal of positive thoughts” negativity.

We’re all unique and special buds, but you ain’t special in that way.

Pick up a blank piece of paper and write about a meme you liked. Do the same thing tomorrow. Do the same thing the day after that. Do the same thing forever.

For some people it doesn’t get better, but you do get better at managing it.

Good luck, buds.

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait Reacts To The AE 13/13

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. This is the final reaction post. 

Thank you for reading these if you have been here with me since the start as I let myself fall into this rabbit hole. You’ve watched me cry and react, and now we... have reached the end. But, it’s not the end of our story, it doesn’t just end when the camera fades to black. No. It won’t. It will continue in our hearts, and I will never forget what Mystic Messenger means to me. Not even when the game is over and I can’t reach it anymore to find my sense of comfort. It will always be in my heart. 

This isn’t the end of me talking about Mystic Messenger. I have so many thoughts and theories ahead of me to talk about that I learned from this ending and what I will learn from the Bad Endings. 

It was there for me when my life started to change. It was the lowest point in my life and the game saved me. I know it saved a lot of you, as well. So, this one is dedicated to Saeran. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you, and thank you for giving me the faith to believe in myself. Thank you to the RFA, all of you, for being there for me. Just as I was there for you. You’ll never know just how much you mean to me. 

I pray that our promise of happiness... that our four seasons... are spent together with all of us peaceful and joyful until the very end. 

[10:00] THE FINAL END. 

The final discussion before the end, huh? This is a chatroom with everyone where we’re talking about what’s to come. What’s to happen and the faith that we have in each other. Yoosung begins a discussion on the notion of Eternal Love without Pain or Eternal Love with Pain. It’s a fun little philosophical debate with the RFA as we go over the sweet and the sour. How things can be good but we in the end, nobody has to suffer to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Love will prevail in the end no matter what happens, whether you were hurt or not in the process. 

I agree with that. Love exists no matter what. You don’t have to be hurt to be loved and you don’t have go through pain to be deserving of love. You can find love at any point in your life and you should cherish that as close to your heart as you can when you feel it for the first time. I liked being able to talk to the RFA about this because it’s... much of a release as I take the time to catch my breath and breathe. 

Because... I know this is the end. I had to take some time to breathe and let this out before I played. I knew that it was going to affect me so I wanted to savor the moment as long as I possibly could. It was worth that. Although, I was already starting to cry but I laughed so when they let me break the fourth wall in this chat. 

They call this a game of choices and freedoms that we all make and what do we call this game?

You can life, or you can say Mystic Messenger. 

It won’t harm your choices once you’ve gotten to this point so you can say it and watch it play out. This is just a snippet of the conversation. I need you to get the rest of it for yourself because... it’s much different to experience then it is to hear about from me, you know? They wish me luck on my mission. I take it and I don’t look back. 

This is on me now. 

Now here comes the first visual novel mode that you have to pass before you can see the Good Ending. I know what the game wants me to do. It wants me to do as Saeran did. It wants me to have faith and to be kind, and it isn’t begging me to forgive anyone. It’s giving me the option to take that road if I want to take it and seeing what Saeran did, I’m willing to chance it. I’m willing to listen. I have given Rika and V one chance here to prove to me that they can acknowledge who they are and what they’ve done. It’s not shaming me like what happens in V’s After Ending, more or less. It’s letting me have that freedom. 

Rika owns up to everything in front of me and bears out her heart. She knows that she has done wrong and she admits it. She admits everything and says that she will no longer run away from this or lie to herself. See, this is what I wanted. This is not asking much. I want her to admit that she’s wrong and say it. Mean it. You can’t grow if you don’t admit that you fucked up or did things wrong. This is what she needs. 

I may not like her, and I may not forgive her. But, I’m willing to say that I took a chance to let her have that catharsis. She needed it more than I did. I may not like Rika but I don’t want her to be depressed and lost. In reality, I want her to be able to grow and find herself. I want her to face her crimes. I want her to live with that. But, I don’t want her to rot away in misery while serving her time. I want her to get better for herself. 

She can have that. 

But, only when admitting that she will pay for what she did. Only when she says that she will face reality. I don’t expect anyone to give her or V another chance or let them back into their lives, but at the end of the day, it feels like Rika will be able to work on herself while she repents for what she did in prison. 

She can have that. I’m not angry about that. I couldn’t be. I may not be like Saeran, I may not be able to forgive the people that hurt me in my life, but I can give a chance to someone that wants to admit they were horrible and that they want to change. 

Sometimes, it’s never too late for yourself. It may be too late to get back what you broke, but you can find yourself. At the end of the day, she needed that more than I did and I’m too nice of a person. Saeran decided to embrace and leave behind his hatred even though he still feels it. He won’t let it consume him anymore. I’m following after him because that makes me a better person. But, I know that Saeyoung and I have far more in common on the forgiveness front. 

But, it felt like the right thing to do. 

I don’t forgive her but I wish her emotional journey the best. Make something of your life as you face punishment, Rika. 

Once this is over, we start to go and look for Saeran. But, we jump back to Zen and Yoosung. Jumin is announcing his bid for politics. He also announced his own company, Queen Elizabeth, which he will be using to create an intelligence team that will be able to work for the people and stop dirty politicians. 

It’s a good idea, honestly. That’s very Jumin Han of them to go through with. Zen and Yoosung, however, are both surprised when they see that Jumin announces that Zen will be on their promotion team, Jaehee will be his chief organizer, and Yoosung is leader of the undergraduate unit. They did not know he was going to do that. 

Jumin simply says: The RFA is inseparable from my legacy. 

Saeran passed out during the night sometime during his emotional crisis when his phone died on us when we were talking to him. He thinks that he is okay, but when he raises his head, he realizes that he spoke too soon. Saejoong is here with his guards. Rika isn’t there, Saejoong is incredibly angry. 

He insults and degrades Saeran the entire time, calling him things that I really shouldn’t at all repeat but let me just say that it’s in line with what Mother Choi said to him when he was growing up. He taunts him, and tries to kick him around, “You know, I could at least relate to Saeyoung, he’s smart and crafty. But you... you’ve got your mother’s face. Did you ever think that Saeyoung took all the talent from you from the start? You’ve always been weak.” 

And this is the part of the story where I just lose my mind and I can’t just shaking from anger at Saejoong. He lashes out. He starts to hurt Saeran over and over again as if that’s going to solve all of his fucking problems. Saeran just lets him do it, too. He accepts it. He keeps his head raised high and he decides to the end, he will not let himself fall to his anger. If this is the end, he will not leave a mark of anger on this world. 

He thinks of... me. In that moment before his body hurts too much for him to take the pain and he slumps over when it just becomes too much for him. And, that is when I start crying. 

Visual novel ends. 

I’m fucking sobbing at this point because I don’t know if this is meant to happen or if I’ve triggered the last Bad Ending. Even here, he’s putting his heart into all that he has. He refuses to stop choosing to be free and happy. This is all that he wants and he will not let himself die without leaving a good memory for me. He can’t handle the thought but he whimpers and the screen goes black. 

The entire RFA calls after this and I sigh in relief because I must have done something right and this isn’t the end.  to say that to Rika. They both need to face it for their crimes. But, even at the end of the day, Jumin Han is a great man.

They all let me know that they believe in me and from this point, everything is my choice. They let me know they believe in me but everything from here on is in my hands. This is my freedom. This is my choice. This is my ending and I get to choose that. 

They make me smile through my tears as I’m playing because— The RFA will always be a family and a part of me. I let them know that I love them all, cause I do and then I hang up to start the final section of the game. I don’t know I’m ready but I have to be for Saeran. I’ll not forget that they have faith in me to do the right thing. 

Oh, and before I forget, Jumin said to tell V that he needs a good lawyer, but not 

He opens the scene. He admits the truth that I always knew. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay so badly but he saw no other choice for himself and he was never okay with it. I sense that he’s in the area as it jumps back to where I am. I’m with V, Rika, and Driver Kim. Saeran is where we left him the night prior by the water, and he’s on the ground about to be taken away by Saejoong Choi. 

Like a pawn to end. 

No.

Everyone tells me not to move. Not to go. But, I’m not going to let him get away and leave me. Leave the others. This is not his fate here. I won’t let him resign himself to that. So, I’m already risking everything and I’m not looking back, if we burn, we burn together, and if we live, we live together. There’s no other way for this to be. 

Me: I love you. 

Saeran: It’s no use. Now I can’t die. Because of you.

Me: Now should be happy with me, okay?

Saeran: ...

Saeran: ..... 

Me: No, no, no, wake up, Saeran, wake up!

I fear he’s gone for good for a minute there. I want to breathe, but Saejoong is the monster that he is. He immediately jumps to the blame game. He says that he can use this. He can blame me. He wants to use this against Saeyoung as it needs to be in his world, and then... he will use that man until he’s no longer got use. Then, he’ll let him die. It’s as simple as a transaction to him. I hate that. I really do. 

I’m just so angry at him. 

But, I know that Saeran wouldn’t want me to lose myself to that. More than anything, I pity this son of a bitch because does he really think this of himself to the point where nothing matters but his desires? His greed that deep? Is this all he wants? Saeran and Saeyoung never wanted this, and they never wanted to fight him. They just wanted to be able to live, that’s what I tell him, feeling that strength brewing. 

I’m just so done with hurting Saeran. 

He pauses, “Oh, that’s where he learned all of that nonsense.” 

“Your heart much be a dark and lonely place. Doesn’t it hurt to be that way? No matter what you do, no matter how much pain and victory you make for yourself, at the end of the day, you’ll never stop feeling lonely. Isn’t that sad?”

He pauses because he thinks I’m either an idiot or I’ve lost my mind. He decides to hear me out on this one. I tell him that he will pay for everything that he has done thus far here, that’s a given. He scoffs. He said that maybe if it was just the agency, they might have been able to live, but they’ve done nothing but ruin his life. “Why don’t you see it from my shoes instead of the weaklings?” 

“I’m sure something hurt you in your past. I can see that you locked away your heart and replaced it with a chain and cruelty.” 

“...I’ve never seen someone as helplessly innocent as you. I don’t get it. It’s not me. It’s the world. You can only get what you want when you’re cruel.” He is very quick to explain his thought process. He thinks that if he never started to be this person then he would have never stopped shining the shoes of the elite instead of this. He says that you only win when you destroy. And, I decide to tell him what I know that Suit Saeran learned. 

This isn’t forgiveness. This is me trying to understand why people are so cruel and why the hell they’re like this. I let him know that if he keeps being cruel that he is damning himself to isolation. He’s damned himself and he knows that he has done it. Even in that blackened heart, he knows the truth. I don’t think he cares to even think of it. Saejoong still enrages me and I can’t stand him, but I can see why he is the way he is. 

Cool motive, still murder, bro. 

He pauses again. He feels sick. He doesn’t believe that Saeran can be happier than him. He thinks that happiness can only come from destruction, and to be utterly honest, it’s the same thinking that Rika held in her hands and I hate that trait. If he survives all his battles, he says, then he is the victor no matter the details. The devil is in the details, don’t you know? I’ve struck a nerve because he starts to blame me.

“Don’t you know what their mother and those boys put ME through?”

Oh, I know what you went through, you fucking bastard. I don’t give a fuck about you. You’re a sad old man that has hurt others his entire life and you deserve to be put away for what you did to everyone. He starts to crack for real though, as he slowly realizes more and more that love isn’t something he can be capable of and it’s never something that he will get. It means nothing, which he knows is a lie. He is a monster, he knows, and his quest didn’t give him the time to look for something more. He says there is no changing things. 

He has to use the twins or he’ll be dead. 

I just look at him, tired. “You must be so lonely.” 

Saeran stirs awake for sure, he must have been blinking in and out of his state of alertness. He looks at me for a moment but then he forces himself to his feet as fast as he can. I want to get him help, but he says to wait. He does something that I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of. He embraces his father and says that he must have been so lonely. That nobody ever understood him in his life and that he came this far by himself... how awful that must have felt all this time. It says that it must have been... “So hard.”

Then he falls out again. 

I manage to catch him before he hurts himself and Saejoong remains in shock while Saeran thanks me. 

And he pan away once more. Jumin tells everyone what happened. He said that his announcement went well. He also breaks the news that I was able to get to the point in time, intercepting Saejoong and Saeran before it was too late. He is really injured and but we’re on our way to safety. However, Saejoong got away at the last second. 

Fade to black. 

We return once again, this time we’re in a hospital room and I have to wait for a long minute as I collect myself and my tears. There’s just so much happening in this room all at once that I’m overwhelmed with what’s happening. Saeyoung is here. Saeran is still asleep, and it’s been three days. The media and everyone is turning back to our side. People are starting to see the RFA as good again, and there is no doubt that we’ve got a good story ahead. Saejoong is on the run as far as know, and I’ll get to Rika and V in a moment. 

Saeyoung and I have another talk. I let him know that it’s okay. Saeyoung tells me that he finished with the agency. He says that the truth will be coming very soon, but he had to tell Jumin first before it went to the media. So, that is going to be happening. We no longer have to live in fear. The brothers no longer have to live in fear. 

Saeyoung will never forgive Saejoong. I won’t, either. But, I do have to tell him that Saeran did forgive him. But, he says that Saeran is kinder and better than him in that aspect. I won’t let this happen again, he says. He wants to make up for being a bad brother. His to-do list is getting pretty long. I know that it will be okay in due time. 

Vanderwood comes in and says that they hate to break the moment, but they need to go. Someone saw Saejoong nearby. He tells me to stay with Saeran as he.... he may not be safe. I do. I say I’ll tell him when he wakes up. He winds up leaving after that. I then tell Saeran it’s okay, and how longer does he want to play this sleep act? 

I sort of expected that. He’s still trying to get himself ready to face his brother and it’s going to take time again. He’s got all the time in the world now but I know that he will let me know when he’s ready. Saeran says that he’s out of time and I am confused. Then he drops the bombshell that Saejoong came to see him and that HE’S IN THE FUCKING ROOM. 

I’m like: WHAT?

Saeran grips my hand and shakes his head, “If I thought he would hurt you, I wouldn’t let you near him.”

Saejoong appears and says that he knows that Saeyoung won’t forgive him and that he will want to act out his revenge by putting him away. But, he is... okay with that? He says that almost losing all of his power and everything that he ever knew made him stop in his tracks, and he doesn’t understand why I told him what I told him, but—

“You two understood a part of myself that I abandoned. I felt something I didn’t know that I had anymore. That I forgot. I surely didn’t understand why you would say all that when you thought you were going to die, Saeran. I can’t stop thinking of the nonsense you all said.... sorry for the monologue. I need to catch up with Saeyoung. I won’t have to run anymore. I won’t have a beautiful life. I never found the way to that, but... maybe you two.... I must go. But, thank you. Thank you for saying what you did.”

 “So, you had a change of heart?”

He’s simply decided to turn himself in. Nothing more. I’m left with Saeran and he smiles. I smile back. He’s finally free. He’s finally free of everything that held him down and I’m so happy for him. You did this Saeran. You did it and you found yourself in the end. I’m proud of you for that. I have to say that I’m not upset that you choose forgiveness. That felt right for you and I wasn’t upset about the way that that was handled. You choose that for yourself. 

You’ve always had a kind heart. 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that he’s going to let them into his life, but it will help him move on from what’s happened and I respect his choice. This is his freedom and it’s a beautiful thing to see. 

It fades to black. 

[6 MONTHS LATER.]

A chatroom opens. Jaehee, Yoosung, and Zen are there. They’re talking about what’s changed and what’s happening now. She’s still in charge of Jumin’s well, everything, but she’s steady in that job now. She’d rather be Zen’s manager, though, she jokes. 

Jumin was elected to office, by the way. He’s on his way to changing the world. Zen made countless deals and he is on his way to Broadway. He’s going to be leaving soon but he’ll be back before anyone knows it. Yoosung is going to study abroad in France, can you believe it? He wants to a pastry chef! That’s alot better than being a vet, which we know that he wasn’t entirely passionate about. 

I’m so proud of them! All of them!

Vanderwood went to their hometown. I wish them the best, too. Nobody knows a damn thing about them and we never will, haha. 

Something to note: V will be released when his trials are over. It’s a foot note but they just say it simply. Nobody seems to be in contact with Rika and V and that is how it should be. Everyone is living their own lives now and they have every chance to decide if they want to forgive Rika and V, but I know that that isn’t going to be likely. Which, of course, But, it’s everyone’s choice. Yoosung is kind and says that he hopes for he best for V, that he will find a better life. They all agree with that. 

But it’s obvious that nobody is going to interact with them again. I don’t blame them, I don’t want to, either. But, I do wish them whatever they can find that is good for them after they pay for the price of what they’ve done. I like how this was handled. This is how you play forgiveness and judgment. It’s not about how we handle this with rage, it’s about we handle our process personally. Freedom and choice are the theme of Saeran’s After Ending. 

I stand by that. 

I like this. I loved this while ride that we were on even though it hurt me on the way. It made me really happy. It made me really sad. It made me go through a whole cycle... and I needed that. I got a good chuckle out of this, though, and I can say that it made me smile. Fourth wall breaks are okay when they’re like this and they’re not like YOUR APRIL FOOLS DLC, HYUN RYU. 

And the chat concludes as they talk about what Saeyoung has been up to and what Saeran and I have been up to lately. It feels like the RFA is going to go for their own ways for a little while, but we’ll always be interconnected with one another and this messenger is our space to share that with each other all of our days. No matter what happens, no matter where we go, we’ll always have the Mystic Messenger (Don’t Tell Jumin we renamed it) to come to when we need to have un with our family. 

Because they are our family. 

We are a family. 

We will always be interconnected, just as Jumin Han said. 

Then chatroom fades to black and I pause, knowing that the real end is ahead of me when I tap my screen. I take a deep breath and let it wash over me. 

This isn’t the end of my love for this game, the characters, the people I’ve met because of the game, or the people that have changed my life. It’s been four years since I first opened the chatroom and I can say that I needed to know that it was going to be okay in the end. I feel like it will be okay in the end for me. I feel like it will be okay for Saeran, Saeyoung, and the rest of the RFA. I’m hitting the end here so forgive me, I’ve been crying since I finished this morning. I’ve been writing on this since I finished. 

They gave me that. They gave me so much light, hope, and warmth. I will never forget them. I will continue to keep them in my heart. I hope they know that in the universe that is separating us. I feel like they know that. I like to think that they do, anyway. It’s not the end of my love. Love always persists and wins, don’t you know that? 

It’s a lesson always lead your life with your heart first. Love hard, love fast, love stupid, love smart, love however you can and lavish yourself in that freedom and let it see where it takes you. Sure, there’s bound to be bumps in the road but it will be okay in the end, and at the end, that’s the message that I take away from Mystic Messenger today as I finish Saeran’s After Ending. 

That your heart is something that you should cherish and never let go of. Thank you for everything. 

[dantesinfcrno]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘.

I N  S U M M A R Y   –––   𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆 ; the explorer . 𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎 ; two .  𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 ; slytherin . 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒆 ; four .  𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆 ; physical touch . 𝒎𝒃𝒕𝒊 ; istp . 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 ; chaotic good .  𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒖𝒔 ; runespoor . 𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏 ; sagittarius . 𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 ; sanguine .

𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆 ; the explorer .

the explorer archetype’s goal: to live an inspiring and fulfilling life. the explorer is authentic, curious, and independent. they want to answer questions such as: “why am I here?” or “what is my purpose?”. the explorer wants the freedom to forge a unique path and focus on self-discovery and the meaning of life. although one to criticize the establishment, the explorer would rather venture down their own path than put up a fight. just as much as they crave freedom, they also strive to help others feel free. their biggest fear is feeling trapped.

C L O S E  R E S U L T S   –––   the rebel + the caregiver .

𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎 ; two with a three wing, sexual/social instinctual subtype . 

twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. they are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. they are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. they typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others. their basic fear is of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved. the twos with a three wing are more driven and extroverted. they’re supportive and empathetic, and tend to search for the spotlight. they fear being unwanted or worthless, and avoid this by building personal connections with others and working hard to meet the needs of the community. their most basic desire is to be loved and accepted, and they may express this by being extremely attentive and attached to other people. they also tend to suppress their own negative emotions, which, when done frequently, can lead to high levels of stress or unexpected outbursts.

the subtype that exudes the most raw charisma and sexual energy, sx/so. they may identify so strongly with whatever they’re involved with that they often become the symbol of its core essence, and sometimes its lead agent for change. hardly content with the status quo, this subvariant seeks to alter the fundamental structure of something while at once embodying it’s purest or most extreme form. they enjoy pushing other’s buttons, especially those resistant to their modes of expression. may exploit and seek to redefine sexuality to reflect their own colorful and uncertain understanding of it. can feel pulled between wanting a life of maximum intensity and reassuring episodes of peaceful convention. motivation: to impact others, question assumptions, challenge convention. familiar roles: provocateur, activist, exhibitionist.

C L O S E  R E S U L T S   –––   type seven .

𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 ; slytherin .

the slytherin house is known for being associated with a tendency to look after their own. they are always striving to be the best, but will never leave their own behind. they’re cunning, resourceful, determined, and ambitious. slytherin has produced its share of dark witches and wizards, but members are not afraid to admit it.

C L O S E  R E S U L T S   –––   gryffindor .

𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒆 ; four .

predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.

𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆 ; physical touch .

a person whose primary language is physical touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm — they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.

C L O S E  R E S U L T S   –––   quality time + words of affirmation .

𝒎𝒃𝒕𝒊 ; istp, the virtuoso or the artisan .

an improviser type, best at handling crisis situations. their core needs are to have the freedom to act without hindrance and to see a marked result from action. their energies are focused on skillful performance, variety, and stimulation. they trust their impulses and have a drive to action. some of their unique themes include: actively solving problems, observing how things work, unsettled by powerful emotional experiences. virtuosos are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, virtuoso personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. their decisions stem from a sense of practical realism, and at their heart is a strong sense of direct fairness. instead of being overly cautious though, they are likely to go too far, accepting likewise retaliation, good or bad, as fair play. while they’re creative and energetic, istps are known for being stubborn, reserved, and prone to risky behavior.

𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 ; chaotic good .

a chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with little regard for what others expect of him. they make their own way, but they’re kind and benevolent. they believe in goodness and right but has little use for laws and regulations. they hate when people try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. they follow their own moral compass, which, although good, may not agree with that of society. they do what is necessary to bring about change for the better, disdain bureaucratic organizations that get in the way of social improvement, and place a high value on personal freedom, not only for oneself, but for others as well. they usually intend to do the right thing, but their methods are generally disorganized and often out of sync with the rest of society. 

𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒖𝒔 ; runespoor . 

the runespoor patronus is very rare. it is cast by a very complex witch or wizard, an individual who has deep thought and uncommon understanding of the world. it is said that each head of a runespoor has its own job, there is the head that decides what the creature will do, the head that often drifts off into fantasy, and the head that criticizes the other two. someone who casts this patronus is precise in decisions they make, but they can loose themselves in deep thought. they are incredibly wise and often live to bring greatness to their names. snakes are symbolic of change, fertility, healing, energy, and the duality of good and evil.

𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏 ; sagittarius sun ; libra rising ; scorpio moon . 

restless, cheerful, and friendly, sun in sagittarius people are generally on the go. they have a love of freedom, and a disdain for routine. generally quite easygoing, sagittarians make friends with people from all walks of life. they have an often blind faith in people, and in the world. their optimism is infectious, although it can get them into trouble from time to time. these are curious people who love to learn. the need for escape is generally strong, and some come across as a little irresponsible. 

sagittarius sun / scorpio moon people are independent, capable and usually successful at whatever they are doing. there is the sound judgment and great wisdom of the sagittarius combined with the scorpio’s determination and ability to turn everything they want into a project. they’re intense and astute, but can also be temperamental, blunt and hypersensitive. discrete and intelligent, they will come up with great plans and strategies that will help them advance quickly in both professional and personal life. renewing themselves is one of their abilities. they love to dig deeply into unusual subjects and the exotic and the uncharted fascinate you. they seek to experience as much as possible in life and they are sensual and pleasure loving. they always get up from falls, no matter how many times they are setback or personal misfortunes they encounter.

the sagittarius sun / libra ascendant is known to be clever, intelligent and educated. their environment is delighted by their charming personalities and the joy they have in life and so, all hearts are easily won. these people know exactly how to take center stage and thus gain popularity. they have amazing artistic and psychological skills, besides their exquisite taste and knowledge on how to deal with others.

𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 ; sanguine / choleric blend .

sanguines are naturally people-oriented. they have an active, positive movement in a favorable environment. they influence their environment by encouraging others to work together. the sanguine is by far the most versatile of the four temperaments and has the potential for the widest range of behavior due to possessing the widest range of emotions. they are extroverted, fun-loving, playful, activity-prone, impulsive, entertaining, persuasive, easily amused, and optimistic. they are enthusiastic, expressive, tend to be very affectionate, and are word smiths. sanguines are very competitive, and they usually like sports of any kind. they tend to be disorganized and easily forgetful, and sometimes have difficulty controlling their thoughts and emotions. they fear rejection or not making a favorable impression. individuals with this personality have a hard time doing nothing and engage in more risk seeking behavior.

the sanguine-choleric combination is driven by the primary need to be accepted socially and the secondary need to get results. they are more assertive than the other sanguine combinations, being very persuasive and making good debaters! they have an outgoing interest in others and the ability to gain the respect and confidence of various types of individuals. they exhibit poise and confidence in most situations, especially social events, and will become bored without activity and social involvement.

[har-rison-s]

pretty

request: Can I get a Stan Uris request? Reader is Bill’s older sister, maybe 15 while The Losers are 13, and the boys have a sleepover at the Denbrough house. She’s taking a shower and she forgets her towel so she yells for Bill to fetch her one but Stan is the one to hear her, so he gives her the towel. She notices he’s blushing and asks him what’s wrong, and he’s never seen her in a towel before and he blurts out that she’s pretty and it’s all cute and she’s like “you’re pretty, too, Stan”

A/N: What a cliché title.... Hi. Risky, risky, eheheheheh. Anyways, let's do this. An interesting and realistic, actually, request. At least I think so. I expect this to be a short one, but that's not bad. While this age difference made me squint a little, it's okay. Not if you're older, alright? I do not promote underage/of-age relationships. Happy reading!

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gif credit goes to owner!

Coca Cola cans, chip packets, crackers, water, jelly beans and bears, sour candy, slices of watermelon. Video games, cartoon series, board games, card games, television programs and films. Pyramids of cups, smelly socks, hats, pillows and plates. The perfect combo of a teenage boys' slumber party. 

A perfect weekend for the boys. The Denbrough kids' mother decided to let their kids have fun alone, do whatever they want, for a weekend. She and her husband drove up state to visit her parents. They warned the kids not to burn the house down, and, boy, did Bill's friends try.

Y/N was already used to Bill's friends causing chaos everywhere they went, always being loud and quite annoying, she must admit. Especially trash-mouth Richie. She couldn't stand him. But, like said, she had gotten used to them and their loudness. At least there were only four of them, and they were younger.

“Don't tell me Brooke Shields is home, too.” Richie begs his friend. They've been playing board games for hours, the MTV channel serving as background noise and when they switched channels, they heard music coming from upstairs. The Losers Club immediately looked at Bill.

“Sh-sh-she doesn't mind us being here.” Bill says, innocently.

“But it's weird. She hears everything.” Eddie states. Stanley sighs.

“She has music on, dumbass.” He tells his friend, eyes narrowed.

“Or rather, we can hear everything.” Richie says with a thick essence of mischief in his voice.

“Beep-beep, Rich.” Stan says, sighing along with the other two. 

“Say, Bill, does she have a boyfriend? Maybe he's coming over tonight?” Richie keeps pestering his best friend.

“Shut up, R-R-Richie.” Bill responds, careless to go any further with this stupid conversation. Richie snickers and looks at Eddie, waiting for him to join in laughing, but he doesn't.

“Bill, do you have Monopoly?” Stanley asks and Bill nods.

“In m-my room, up-upstairs.” He tells Stan.

“I'll get it, then.” The boy decides and walks to the living room's door to get to the stairs. 

“We all know what he's gonna do up there. And it ain't gonna be Monopoly.” Richie comments, which earns him a nasty glare from Stanley and a punch to his side from Bill himself. 

“Th-that's my-my sister you're talk-talking about.” Stanley hears Bill say to Richie.

Y/N decided to hop into a shower before she settles for watching a movie in her parents room and then going to bed. It is ten pm on a Friday night already, and she's got her friends coming over tomorrow, so she needs to have a good night's sleep. Even with her brother's never resting friends in the house.

She left the music in her room on while showering, but she also left her clean towel in the downstairs washing room. She realised it only when she was done showering - that there were no towels in her bathroom. Shit. She hopes Bill can hear her, she did hear him coming up the stairs.

“Billy!” She yells as loud as she can. 

Stan almost falls off the stool he uses to get to the top shelf from hearing Bill's sister yelling. Bill has a bad habit of putting board games on the highest shelf in his room. And she definitely has a loud voice. 

“Bill!” She yells again when there's no response. Not more than half a minute later there's a knock on her door. 

“It's Stan, not Bill.” The boy says through the door. “Do you need some help?”

“Oh, hi, Stan. Come in, the door is open and I'm in the shower.” She simply says. Stanley hesitates, but creaks open the door. “I'm in quite a crisis. My towel is in the downstairs bathroom, the blue one in a red basket.”

“Need me to bring it?” He concludes.

“If you'd be so kind.” She says shyly. 

“Right. I'll be right back.” Stan tells her and, after slowly and carefully closing the bathroom door behind him, rushes downstairs for the towel she asked for. She would be freezing soon. 

“What's the matter, Stanley? Saw something you shouldn't have?” Richie teases and Stan only groans, rolling his eyes at Richie. He makes for the bathroom of the first floor, which is right through the kitchen in the Denbrough's house.

Although Bill ignores Richie's snide question, he is curious why Stan jogged down the stairs without the Monopoly and went into the kitchen. It is his sister, after all. But he also knows Stan. Stan's very polite and reserved.

Stan fetches the towel from the red basket and holds it close to him, folding it over his arm. He goes back up the stairs in the same speed he came down them. He finds Y/N's room and bathroom again and knocks on the door, to warn her it's him.

“Please, open the door in as wide a slit as the towel is thick. Catch my drift?” Y/N's voice comes from inside the room.

“Uh-huh.” Stan confirms. He creaks the door open and squeezes the towel through the slit, her hand taking it once it's through. Stan shuts the door and sighs. He tried to keep his eyes semi-closed while giving her the towel, and it's quite self-explanatory why he did.

He walks back to the door of her room, heading for Bill's bedroom again. But Y/N stops him once again from getting to the Monopoly. “Thanks so much, Stanley.” Her sweet voice thanks him and he can tell that she's come out of the bathroom. 

“You're welcome, Y/N.” He responds with his back still to the bathroom door and her. 

She chuckles. “You can turn around, silly.” She encourages him. Stan gives her a chuckle of nervousness and hesitantly turns around to face her. He doesn't like to admit it, but it's some sort of new teenage experience. His cheeks blush immediately upon looking at her in only her towel and wet hair. “What's wrong? Is something on me, my towel?” She fusses quietly.

“No, no, you're very pretty.” He suddenly blurts out, without thinking. Once he realises what he's said, he wants the ground to swallow him right up. Great going! Why did you have to say that from all things, Stanley? Why?!

Now Y/N blushes. And she smiles. She can tell he's gone full panic mode - his eyes are wide and cheeks redder than before. “You're pretty, too, Stan.” She says after all. 

The boy gets even more flustered. He doesn't know what to say back. One thing only comes to mind. Come on, nothing can be worse than you already said. “Do you want to play Monopoly with us?” Stan asks and looks at her again, regaining his posture and the little amount of confidence he carries in himself.

“I'm not sure that your friends would like that.” Y/N admits. Stanley shakes his head. 

“Screw what they like or not. If you want to, come play with us.” He tells her and she chuckles. “If you don't, that's okay, have a good night—”

“No, no, I'll play.” She convinces him otherwise. “Just let me change first.” Y/N states, smiling wide. 

“We'll be—Well you know where we will be.” Stanley says and Y/N laughs. He even smiles at her, breaking out of his flustered state. He leaves her room and again walks into Bill's bedroom to actually get the board game they so much want to play.

Hope you like this!

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[smokeybrandreviews]

Jill Sandwich

So Resident Evil 3 Remake is out in the wild and i can finally talk about this thing in detail. I have an interesting relationship with the RE franchise. It’s kind of a love/hate situation. I love the first three titles and Veronica. I kind of hate everything that came after. IV through VI are just plain awful, particularly VI. Cats fight me about IV but i don’t care for it. Capcom stopped doing what they do best, desperate survival horror, and started emulating those action films starring Leeloo Dallas. That’s find but, i mean, watching Chris Redfield, jacked up on the super roids, punch out a whole ass boulder, while fighting a chimera virus infected Wesker, in the heart of a goddamn volcano, was way too much. And there was another entire game after that one with this campy, wacky, bullsh*t. I hated it. All of it. Then Resident Evil VII dropped and everything changed.

Revelations hinted at a return to form but it was REVII that showed the world what Resident Evil was really about. My goodness was that game good. I was on the edge of my seat playing through that coil of stress, atmosphere, and insidious violence. It was beautiful. That game was beautiful. I found my self longing for that engine, driving my favorite title of the entire franchise, Resident Evil II. To my surprise i got exactly what i wanted. Holy sh*t, when Resident Evils II Remake dropped, i sh*t myself. This was the Resident Evil game i always wanted. This is what survival horror should have been the entire time. Remake hit every note of nostalgia while building a brand new experience. Not only were the graphics updated, bu the entire story was streamline and, thanks to some excellent voice work, it was rather enthralling this go around. REII was already one of my favorite games but Remake found a spit right next to it on my all-time list. When i finished that motherf*cker for the first time, after experiencing that horror on two legs called Mr. X, i thought about how dope Nemesis would be in this engine. To my surprise, i wouldn’t have to wait long to find out.

First and foremost, R3make is goddamn gorgeous. It’s absolutely beautiful. Capcom’s RE Engine pulls all of it’s weight on this one. The lighting and particle effects are spectacular. I thought Remake II looked great but this game really stand out. There are a few little concessions made to push the hardware but that’s to be forgiven. I can deal with an exploding limb or disappearing body if it means i can get the detail and literally horde levels of zombies on my ass at all times. It’s insane just how many of theses things are packed on screen, in that level detail, while Nemesis is launching f*cking rockets at you.

I have to absolutely gush about the writing for a minute here. I remember the old REIII being kind of hokey, kind of campy. I chocked it up to the limitations of the OG PlayStation. Not this one. The PS4 gives the script writers a level of power to get really creative. The dialogue Jill has with everyone feels real, It feels organic. She acts like a person with training in the middle of a crisis and i adore every second of it. I mean, her banter with Carlos is more than enough for the price of admission.

Also, Jill is just a regular badass. It’s dope seeing her getting her proper due in this game. The last time we saw her, outside of one of those Revelation games, she was a muppet for Wesker. Bullsh*t, son! Not here. Here, she is in all her bad ass. Umbrella busting, glory and i love it. I also love her redesign. Function over fashion, ya dig?

The remix of levels caught me off guard at first. They took out a lot of set pieces i remember like the park and Jill’s run through the RPD. These aspects of her original playthrough make an appearance, just in completely different ways. Also worth mentioning, there are like, no puzzled in this game. I remember the original being very, frustratingly, puzzle heavy way back when. This game is not that. It is a narrative focused, action driven, murder fest. I am more than okay with that particular alteration.

The redesigned enemies in this game are spectacular. I kind of expected a few changed, mostly based on the Ivy from Remake II, but Capcom really found a way to be creative with these new enemies. There’s, like, Las Plagas zombies in this thing. You blow of their heads and a parasite pops out. It’s insane. I always though Nemesis was infected with a Plagas and this game kind of confirms that. I love the new take on the Hunters. The Alphas have kind of a predator face now but the Gammas? The Gammas have this massive parasite that pops out of their gaping maws. It looks just like the Gravedigger and since there isn’t really a park level to this game, imagine they serve the same purpose. Or, repurpose in this case. There’s even a couple of surprises in store for those who know their lore. Their horrifying Resident Evil lore.

F*cking Nemesis, man. Nemesis is nightmare fuel incarnate. Dude is outright horrifying, the entire time you play this game. He’s fast, agile, and f*cking terrifying. I had problems with Mr. X but this asshole? Dude literally sprints after you when you run away. I kind of hate it but, at the same time, i f*cking need it! Good ol’ Nemi’s redesign is amazing. I was a little iffy at first, but seeing it in action sold me. And then his second form happened. Bro. What? And then that third. Okay, Capcom, come on? Y’all were just showing off with that one.

The only thing holding this game back, in my opinion, is that it can get a little REVI at times. I mean that the action becomes just a hair too over-the-top. That entire end sequence with final form Nemesis was absolutely ridiculous. I mean, i loved it, don’t get me wrong, but, f*ck, coming off Remake II and several parts of this one, it just felt a little out of place. There’s a few times where this issue creeps up but, like i said, it’s more of a nitpick than anything. The grounded nature and character driven narrative distract from the more... zealous aspects of this game.

As far as gameplay, if you played Remake II or any of the RE titles after IV, you know what to expect. Over the shoulder, third person, all day! I hate shooters but i can play the f*ck out of these types. Tank controls have gone the way of the dodo it seems but i ‘m not bad with their replacement. This game feels right with this camera set up. Shooting feels right. Dodging feels rewarding. This game feels real good to play.

There aren’t anymore of those quick decision deals like in the original but that’s not a problem. They would have interfered with the narrative driven aspects of this game. You can still, you know, shoot Nemi in the face for dope sh*t but i wouldn’t. F*ck all of that. Maybe after a third of fourth playthrough. Maybe. There’s no Mercenaries mode or multiple endings but you can play a good portion as Carlos and there’s a brand new multiplayer component with it’s own narrative called Resident Evil Resistance so, i guess that’s dope? I dunno. I f*cks with that single player campaign all day, tho.

R3make is f*cking outstanding. I love this game. Absolutely adore the f*ck out of it. I still like Remake II better but that’s more because i just adore II overall. That said, R3make is the f*cking tits. This sh*t is fast paced, adrenaline pumping, stress inducing, action packed, zombie killing. It does justice to Jill, makes me care about Carlos, and even does some interesting things with Nemesis. I was thoroughly surprised by some narrative choices taken but they dded to the overall plot,giving life to a game that sorely needed it, while not compromising once on gameplay. While there are certain design aspects i would have liked seen skew closer to the earlier titles in the franchise rather than the later ones, that is a small gripe. Even in all of it’s Bayhem glory, and there is a lot of that toward th end, this game never loses the spirit of who it is. Resident Evil III Remake is a f*cking masterpiece and you should get into it the second this quarantine lifts if you haven’t already had an opportunity to grab a copy.

[katiewattsart]

25/03/20 : A RECAP

25/03/20 : A RECAP

- Who Watches the Watchmen? - Power, Discourse, The Other

- Ever Tried. Ever Failed - Failure, Resilience, Sustainability

- Teddy Boys and Haul Girls - Subcultures, Resistance, Commodification

- Utopia and Dystopia - world-building, social justice

- Nothing is original and that’s ok - The Copy, Remix Cultures, Bricolage

- Hauntology and Nostalgia - Political Nostalgia, Subversion, 

- Telling Stories - Narrative Theory, Narratives in practice, storytelling

Who Watches the Watchmen?       

Power

Theorists Include:

Michel Foucault, Judith Butler, Laura Mulvey, 

John Berger

Moral Panic

The Panopticon

Surveillance 

Feminism

Sex/Gender 

The Gaze

The Power of Looking

“Looking involves learning to interpret and, like other practices, looking involves relationships of power....

To be made to look, to try to get someone to look at you or at something you want to be noticed, or to engage in an exchange of looks, involves a play of power.”

Sturken, M. Cartwright, L. (2004) Practices of Looking

The Panopticon

Designed by British Jurist and social reformer Jeremy Bentham in 1791, as an architectural system of control and surveillance. 

Used by Foucault to analyse systems of power, and the self-regulating society. 

Section and plan of Jeremy Bentham’s Panopticon penitentiary, drawn by Willey Reveley, 1791 

- Power is reinforced through language

- Bodies act under strict constraints of power exercised by institutions

- The Power of Subversion

- Gender is a social construct and is performative

- The structure of power is Patriarchal

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

Drawing Power: How depictions of superheros have changed in the Marvel Universe from the 1960s to the present day 

A post-structural analysis of Power and Illustration in the graphic novels of Frank Miller

Power Play: A history of Alan Moore mocking authority  

Imbalance of power: Becoming Unbecoming and readdressing female histories

Chintz and power: Jim Shaw’s anti-fascist wallpapers

Political cartoons and the British Establishment, from William Hogarth to Steve Bell

Ever Tried. Ever Failed.

Trying and failing as art

Experimentation

Sustainability 

Social Justice 

Capitalism 

The Process

Resilience 

Artists Include: Beckett, Smithson, Ono, Signer, Banksy, Wei wei

failure:

1. Lack of success.

2. The neglect or omission of expected or      required action.

3. The action or state of not functioning.

Oxford living dictionaries

Guerilla Design

Chapitre Zero (2013)

Furniture designers Duccio Maria Gambi/Mattia Paco

Salvages wooden pallets, unwanted furniture, and assorted pieces of wood 

Create urban public furniture to create ‘social spaces’ in Paris.  

Sustaining Culture? 

Justin Gignac, New York City Garbage (2001)

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

Tru Try and Try again: why those who keep going get the most done

From one to many: how Greta Thunberg’s perseverance made a difference in a world of indifference

Resilience and Sustainability are the tools we need for surviving the future 

We Make Our Luck: the aggregation of Marginal Gains

Say Nothing, Do Nothing, Be Nothing: the purpose of the Crit in Art and Design

Teddy Boys and Haul Girls: Subcultures

Subcultures

Subversion

Bricolage

Youth Culture

Dominant/Deviant culture

Conspicuous Consumption 

Punk

Culture Jamming

Utopia/Dystopia

Theorists/ Artists Include: Hebdige, Williams, Leckey, Banksy, Warhol, Adbusters

Dominant culture:  a dominant culture is one that is able, through economic or political power, to impose its values, language, and ways of behaving on a subordinate culture or cultures. This may be achieved through legal or political suppression of other sets of values and patterns of behaviour, or by monopolizing the media of communication. 

Dominant culture. A Dictionary of Sociology. . Encyclopedia.com.

ubculture: Subcultures are smaller groups within the larger culture that have slightly different—or additional—traditions and ideas. They tend to share much in common with the larger culture and typically interact with members of the majority on a regular basis. Most people belong to at least one group that can be classified as a subculture. 

Feminist Critique:

The role of women/girls is largely ignored.

The experience of youth is gendered.

Wider gender politics can be investigated through the study of youth subcultures. 

This is England (2007) Shane meadows:

Haul Girls

“In fact, the closest thing to the old model of a subculture I've come across is Helina and the haul girls. Their videos are about conspicuous consumption: a public display of their good taste, carefully assembled with precise attention to detail. When you put it like that – and at the risk of incurring a fatwah from middle-aged Paul Weller fans – they sound remarkably like mods.”

-Alexis Petridis

Conspicuous Consumption:

..is a term introduced by the Norwegian-American economist and sociologist Thorstein Veblen in his book "The Theory of the Leisure Class" (1899). The term refers to consumers who buy expensive items to display wealth and income rather than to cover the real needs of the consumer.

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

Cosplay and the Carnival: Counter culture as the World Turned Upside Down 

Representations of Subculture in Film, Theatre and Costume/Illustration

England’s Dreaming: Punk as a critique of Thatcherism and the rise the Me Generation

Dressing/Drawing Working Class Subcultures from 1950 to 2000: An Artifact

This Is England: From Skins to The Inbetweeners, a cultural reading of England’s youth culture

Art & Artifice: a discussion of representations of young people and material culture from Annie Swynnerton to Andy Warhol

Utopia and Dystopia

World-Building

Social Justice

Critiques of culture

Art and Crisis

Transformative design

Theorists include: Thomas Moore, Philip K. Dick, Ernst Bloch..

Sir Thomas More 1477-1535

- First person to write about Utopia - a perfect imaginary world

- Greek - Ou-topos - No place, or Nowhere

- Eu-topos- A good place

Can a perfect place ever be realised? 

Utopia means nowhere or no place. It has often been taken to mean good place, through confusion of its first syllable with the Greek eu as in euphemism or eulogy. As a result of this mix up, another word, dystopia, has been invented, to mean bad place. But, strictly speaking, imaginary good places and imaginary bad places are all utopias, or nowheres. 

- John Carey

The Garden of Earthly Pleasures -Hieronymus Bosch circa 1490-1510

UTOPIAS IN FILM

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

I Am The Architect: The Role of the Designer in Dystopia 

Fashioning Utopia:  How costume design in Science Fiction helps us reimagine the world 

Interior Identities: How the inner spaces of our lives tell the narrative of our times

Digital Dystopia: How the Ghost In The Machine Became A Trope of the Internet Age

The Perfect Palette: The search for Utopia on the canvases of the Stanley Spencer

NOTHING IS ORIGINAL - and that’s ok!

The Remix

Hauntology 

Appropriation

Nostalgia

The Copy

Sampling

Theorists/Artists Include: David Lynch, Kenneth Goldsmith, Simon Reynolds, Mark Fisher.

WHAT IS ORIGINALITY?

How would you define originality?

Should we try and pursue originality?

Does originality exist?

If so, what does it look like? 

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

Steal Like an Artist: How Our Influences Make Us Who We Become

Copy Paste Culture: How Rap Reflects the Wider Art World of the 1980’s and Beyond

Youtube Made Me Hardcore: How Access to Everyday Editing Software Made Everyone an Artist

Hauntology and Nostalgia

Nostalgia

Hauntology

Politicisation

Style and Aesthetic

Commodification

Reflexive/restorative

Theorists include: Svetlana Boym, Mark Fisher, Jacques Derrida

NOSTALGIA AS DOMINANT MODE

How do explain the large number of works based on pre-existing work?

Why do you think that adaptations are the dominant product in today’s media market?

Two Types of Nostalgia

estorative:

 “puts emphasis on nostos (returning home) and proposes to rebuild the lost home and patch up the memory gaps.” (Boym)

Reflective:

“Reflective nostalgia, on the other hand, “dwells in algia (aching), in longing and loss, the imperfect process of remembrance.”

“Personal nostalgia can be used therapeutically to help individuals move beyond trauma” (Batcho, 2017)

Historically being nostalgic or using nostalgia as a form of expression in art or literature has not been seen as a good thing, rather it’s been viewed as the antithesis of progression and innovation. Miuccia Prada once said ‘nostalgia is a very complicated subject for me. I'm attracted by nostalgia but I refuse it intellectually.’ 

Definition of Hauntology

Hauntology is a philosophical concept referring to the return or persistence of elements from the past, as in the manner of a ghost. The term was coined by French philosopher Jacques Derrida in his 1993 book Spectres of Marx.

Broadly speaking, the notion that the present is haunted by lost futures

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

The Machine in The Ghost: Digital and Analogue Traces in the Art and Films of David Lynch

Breaking the Future: How Nostalgia and Hauntology has Led to an Influx of Genre Movies and Remakes, and What Can be Done to Change It

The Effects of Nostalgia: Instagram and the Filter 

Telling Stories

The Mainstream

Narrative

Provocation/Disruption

Street Art

The Spectacle

Theorists/Artists include: Kruger, Banksy, Warner, Anderson, de Certeau, Georges Perec, 

Texts’ that could hold a narrative?

…novels, comics, films, tv series, plays, films, children’s books, animation, games, photographs, news stories, magazine covers, folktales and myths, book covers, paintings, editorial illustrations, window displays, packaging, logos…

The Culture Industry

How might film be seen as an ideological tool, then and now?

CRAFTING NARRATIVE

Exploring how makers and designers are using objects and making ,to tell stories.

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

Costume as Character in Game Of Thrones

Grayson Perry as Storyteller: Culture Captured in Ceramics and tapestry

Dressing the Window: Narratives on Display

Suffragette Jewellery and the Story of Adornement as Dissent in Early 20th Century Britain 

ALL UR VIRAL PHENOMENA R BELONG 2 US

Networks

Collective Understanding

Viral Phenomena

Populism

Digital Culture

User Content

Memes

Satire

Viral phenomena are objects or patterns that are able to replicate themselves or convert other objects into copies of themselves when these objects are exposed to them. They get their name from the way that viruses propagate

“Breaking the Internet”: The narratives of Viral media

Why do things go viral?

- Relatability

- Empathy

- Irony / irreverence

- Political meaning

- Humour

- ‘Smarts’

The word meme was coined by Richard Dawkins in his 1976 book The Selfish Gene as an attempt to explain the way cultural information spreads; such as beliefs, fashions, stories, and phrases

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

The Viral Marketing campaigns of JJ Abrams

The Meme is Dead, Long Live the Meme! How Do We Keep up with the means of communication when the means of communication change on a Daily Basis?

HASHTAGS: Friends or Enemies?

The Rise of Cancel Culture and Implications for Critical Thinking

ESSAY PREPERATION 

What do you want to explore?

theme/idea

artist/designer

object/image

These Questions should now: 

- guide your research and keep you focused.

- What information are you lacking, and where do you need to go to get it?

- Brainstorm a list of Questions, considering whether you need to:

Analyse               

Appraise

Assess

Compare

Contrast

Criticise

Define

Discuss

Describe

Examine

Explain

Indicate

Illustrate

Interpret

Judge

Justify

Outline

Refute

State

Summarise

Trace

Title/Question

Be concise and explicit. This is a working title/question.

EG. Who Decides Who Decides? 

Critiquing power in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Keywords

Include here any words you think will help you identify the research you want to undertake.

EG. Power, Foucault, Surveillance, war on terror, citizen activism, superheroes

introduction/Questions

Use this section to introduce the questions and any issues that are central to your research.

EG. This paper explores the ways in which power is exercised in the MCU, and compares the films to the source comics to see how the two mediums differ

Background

What are the key texts and approaches in the field? How does your proposal  extend our understanding of particular questions or topics? You need to set out your research questions as clearly as possible, explain problems that you want to explore and say why it is important to do so. In other words, think about how to situate your project in the context of your discipline.

EG. Watchmen by Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons; V for Vendatta etc, Crisis on Infinite Earths

DEVELOPING YOUR RESEARCH QUESTION

5Ws: answer the following questions:

Who does your topic impact? 

Who cares about your topic? 

What is influenced by or influences your topic?

Where is your topic relevant?

Why is your topic important?

You could try free writing!

Write continuously for a set amount of time without stopping. Ignore grammar and spelling. Write what you know and identify gaps and questions to pursue. 

Or mind mapping!

A visual form of brainstorming. Include related subtopics, concepts and words and connect to them to your topic. 

TASK

Before next session:

Brainstorm and mind map your ideas

Gather images, quotes

fill in your research proposal for GCOP200 

(as much as you can)

Bring it all with you to your seminar

[page-of-tales]

Story: Life Donors

To the person who said they thought Exchangeable Parts would be about organ donation. Here comes something that will disappoint them. Feedback and comments are always appreciated

Word Count: 3575

---

(Distances, times, and proper nouns translated to their approximate human equivalents)

8 rotations (months) ago the homeworld of the Hilox had quietly entered into crisis mode. A lethal plague was sweeping through the population of it’s colony worlds. It was an old and familiar disease, dating to a pre space travel age, that had mutated into a deadlier form. Traditional treatments were failing to adequately treat the disease and only a heavily strained medical infrastructure kept the death toll from exploding exponentially. The media had labeled the new disease the Jinkor after a shapeshifting monster from old myths. Public disorder had been quelled, sometimes with force, and it was clear to those in power that the situation was teetering on the brink.

It is in this context that a report from a low ranking Xeno-Bio Department Tech was brought to the upper echelons of Hilox leadership and a coded request sent to the human embassy. What could amount to the saving grace for the Hilox constituted a forbidden curse.

---

Dr. Alexa Khatri sat reading an email on her Screen, finger scrolling through a long list of numbers. The results from the last assay had come in and the lab techs were running analysis on the data. It was a little frustrating to have been called away but the official looking people who had knocked at her domicile had stressed the importance of her presence. As it was she was currently seated in the human Embassy’s waiting room orbiting around the homeworld of the alien species, the Hilox.

The artificial gravity was a close match to that of the planet below, approximately a 0.9 standard G. Which was good for Alexa who had lived all her life on low gravity planets. It was part of the reason she had accepted the job offer to work on the planet below with its lighter gravity, that and the opportunity to work with aliens. Now several rotations later she still enjoyed her work and had a number of friends with her Hilox neighbors and coworkers, in addition to the fellow human coworkers at the research institute.

Why the Embassy requested her was still somewhat unclear. Given her expertise in Hilox biology, the obvious answer was they wanted a local scientist familiar with Hilox anatomy. Specifically a medical expert. She wondered how she ended up on that list. Maybe everyone else had said no.

The doors of the waiting room slid open and a well dressed woman of vaguely Asian descent walked through. Alexa turned off her Screen and stood as the stranger extended a hand.

“Doctor Khatri I presume. I am Ambassador Suwong.” Said the woman, a charming smile on her face.

“Yes. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” The two women shook hands. The Ambassador gestured for Khatri to follow her into the hallway. Khatri tucked her Screen away and hurried to catch up.

“I hope your trip was pleasant.”

“Ah yes, the shuttle ride was very short.”

“Mm, sorry to call you on such short notice but the Hilox called for this meeting just yesterday.”

“So what is my role here?”

Suwong stopped suddenly and Khatri nearly ran into her

“You mean you don’t know? I thought someone would have briefed you already.”

Khatri shook her head. Once she had arrived on the station she had been shunted into the waiting room and left to her own devices with everyone rushing off to other duties. Occasionally someone had popped into the room and asked for someone and when Khatri shrugged they had ran off before she could ask them a question. And somewhat afraid to wander in a government building she had stayed put.

“Well I don’t know quite what exactly either.” Suwong replied bluntly. She continued before Khatri could respond.

“All I know is that the Hilox said they want to discuss a recent plague some of their colonies are suffering some, some sort of request of aid. That’s why I called on you. You are the closest expert on Hilox physiology we could reach. I”m going to be relying on you to give me some context and translation for the science aspects.”

Khatri nodded her head.

“That was what I was told, I just thought there was more to it.”

Suwong shrugged. Khatri was a little alarmed at how cavalier she was being.

“I’m nearly in the dark as you are.”

Suwong pulled up a memo on her wrist screen.

“It’s what they call the Jinkor, they quarantined Joulkoub it’s gotten so bad.”

The two entered into a meeting room. A meeting room in name only as there were only a few chairs and no table with a young man pushing in another chair through a doorway.

“Doctor Khatri this is my aide, Terrance.”

Khatri shook Terrance’s hand. And they exchanged polite greetings.

“We’re expecting a party of 3 soon. Hurry up before they arrive.”

Terrance nodded and dashed out of the room.

“Where is everyone else?” Khatri asked, earlier it had appeared the embassy was a bustling hive but they had not met anyone in the corridors.

“A mercy fleet is on it’s way to help the Hilox and coordinating with the logistics and legal aspects of that alone has been distracting. Plus we have a variety of civilian organizations also looking to contribute. Everyone is working overtime to handle those requests. But don’t worry, we’ll have a team outside to back us up here by the time the Hilox arrive.”

The meeting wasn’t for another 2 hours. In that brief window of time Khatri read all the recent news bulletins and articles on the Jinkor. Historically the illness had been a viral infection which in late stages of illness would cause paralysis of respiratory organs resulting in death. Treatments and vaccines for the disease had been around for centuries limiting its effect to impoverished regions. But this resurgence appeared to be the result of a mutated strain that was resistant to treatments and rapidly advanced to the late lethal stages in a quarter the normal time. Khatri tapped a finger against her temple in thought.

Immunology was not Khatri’s specific field of expertise, but she knew enough of Hilox physiology to know the basic mechanism of the Hilox immunological systems and some of the more general treatments they applied. The Jinkor virus in her mind drew a parallel to the human disease polio, an ancient disease long since eradicated. There was no question that the disease was worrisome, but Khatri figured it was only a matter of time before the Hilox found a working treatment. The Hilox were an advanced race, with significant resources and the means to create a viable treatment. Why the Hilox would call request an emergency meeting with humans was beyond her.

The same question was running unspoken through Suwong’s mind as well. In between answering Khatri’s questions and summarizing the procedure of intergalactic negotiations she was also looking over previous briefings. Trying to gauge what the Hilox attitudes or requests would be. Her report on the Hilox request had been processed by Central and they were in the dark as much as her. They didn’t say that in such terms but the phrased reply, “proceed cautiously and give continual updates”, certainly gave that impression.

The Hilox and Federation could be described as distant in relations. The Hilox existed in a region of space that had a number of other sentients and the Federation became just another in a long list for them to ignore. In the grand scheme of things there were certainly worse ways to be regarded. There existed peace, but it was a dull peace. Besides the usual trade, travel, and border negotiations there was little other official activity between the two interstellar civilizations. Private enterprises like that of Suwong’s company only retained a small fairly nominal presence in Hilox space. The arrival of the mercy fleet would mark one of the largest interactions to date. Central’s summarized position on the Hilox had remained the same since first contact, good neighbors. Suwong hoped that wouldn’t change today.

As the time of the meeting approached Suwong passed Khatri a screen from a briefcase Terrance had brought in when he had returned from another trip.

“I should have done this earlier, but it slipped my mind. This is a locked screen, protocol dictates we use them for any official business. Go ahead and transfer any data you have right now. It has a secure connection to the Internet so you can still look up things. As I’m sure you are aware the Hilox communicate with us via text and you should find the texting app on there already.”

Khatri took the screen. It was slightly heavier than hers and its lock screen emblem was that of the Embassy’s. Connecting the two she transferred the files she had saved and set her own screen away. Suwong set her screen on the table and turned to the two.

“As we discussed earlier. I’ll be taking lead for the discussions. I’ll ask Professor Khatri if I need clarification. Terrance, keep in connection with the others and follow normal protocol.”

Despite herself Khatri felt a slight tingling of excitement. Akin to when she was close to a breakthrough. There was an air of political intrigue beginning to permeate the air. She checked her reflection in the darkened screen and suddenly wished she had asked for a glass of water.

---

Acolyte of Xeno Biology J’Xun sat nervously in the atrium just outside the doorway to the meeting room. Besides him towered the much larger Praetor K’Gholun, who was eyeing the Marine guard at the door with curiosity. J’Xun understood the interest. Humans remained a rare sight in Hilox space and for the Praetor who had an extensive military background, seeing a human soldier in person was bound to be something of interest. The Praetor’s aide, J’Ryn was closer to his own age and was busily compiling some file for the upcoming meeting.J’Xun could feel his body heat rising with the pressure. Lives were at stake and he sincerely wished someone else was in his place. But it was his team that had made the discovery which ostentatiously meant he had earned the honor. The bigger question would be if the humans would be willing to hear them out.

The guard at the door must have received a signal because he held up a display with the words, “They are ready.” written in Hilox in front. The doors slid open and the three entered.

There were three humans sitting at a long table. 2 dressed in similar uniforms, the other dressed in a different manner of uniform. J’Xun hadn’t studied humans enough to determine any more than that. Though he could presume the center human was the equivalent to the Praetor. There were 3 long chairs set up for Hilox physiology. And J’Xun eased into the one facing the mismatched human. The human eyed him levelly, somewhat unnerving the reclusive scientist.

Praetor K’Gholun “spoke” first. The words appearing in between the two species on a glass pane in the middle of the table in language readable to both sides.

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with us on such short notice. I am Praetor K’Gholun representing the Hilox government.”

The middle human entered something into a device and words now in a different color began to scroll across the glass.

“It is not problem, I understand it is a matter of great urgency. I am Ambassador Suwong.”

The other four introduced themselves the different colored text displaying their identity and names.

And so the meeting began. With the Praetor giving context.

“As I’m sure you are aware there is a significant health crisis on several of our worlds. The Jinkor as the media has labeled it. It is ravaging our populations and putting severe strains on our medical institutions. The situation is worse than we have let the public know. If things don’t turn around the collapse of the Hilox civilization will be inevitable. We believe the humans can assist us.”

Ambassador Suwong took a moment to remind the Hilox of their active efforts.

“I assume you are talking about more than physical aid. The mercy fleet we have volunteered is on it’s way, and some civilian organizations are already on the ground.”

“The charity given by humanity is greatly appreciated. But our request today is something more... controversial.”

The fact that the Praetor had typed out what the computer had translated into ellipses was not lost on the Federation Ambassador, her earpiece having gone silent as the other room listened in closely.

“I will let Acolyte J’Xun explain.”

J’Xun almost choked. The Praetor who had faced the Viscek hive legions and the Dark Spheres was balming in the face of the request. But then again, it was no small request, it was akin to asking the humans to sacrifice their lives. J’Xun gathered his thoughts, realizing that he would have to start at the beginning.

“Let me start at the beginning.”

---

Khatri perked up at the word acolyte. It was the Hilox equivalent to scientist. Suwong looked at her and gave a slight nod. It was likely her turn to step up.

The acolyte began to go on. Paragraphs of text began to scroll along the glass. Suwong gave up on trying to decipher the technical jargon and instead turned to Khatri. Khatri felt like a translator, converting the Hilox terms to human ones and then converting those into a simpler versions for the other two to understand.

The acolyte and his team had been running tests with the Jinkor virus with various alien cell cultures. The purpose of this common test to confirm that there was no compatibility that would lead to cross species infection. Since diseases evolved to target specific organisms cross species infections were exceedingly rare, but the mere existence of that chance demanded such tests. In every case mixing infected Hilox cells with alien cells resulted in no sign of cross infection occurring in the alien cells. However there was an unusual outlier with the human sample. In every other test the infected Hilox cells had been destroyed as time progressed, usually as the infection progressed to end stage within the cells. But in the human samples, portions of Hilox cells had survived.

Further examination had led the team to discover that the human cells had forced the virus into a stage of latency, or remission. Leaving the Hilox cells untouched of signs of infection. This was a breakthrough. The mutations of the virus had resulted in difficulties in creating a vaccine. A quick clinical trial confirmed the initial results, human blood injected into a host ceased the progression of infection. A possible treatment in lieu of a vaccine.The team had gone further by attempting to isolate the elements that led to the Jinkor virus remission. Initially they thought it was the human immune system, but though the human immune cells were capable of destroying the virus they did not spare the Hilox cells either.

However after some more trials they isolated hemoglobin as the target molecule. Hemoglobin better known as red blood cells.

At this point Khatri interrupted. Her text providing a sharp break to the long string of the acolyte’s text.

“Wait, wait, wait. How do red blood cells cause a virus to go into remission?”

“Red blood cells?” The acolyte’s text queried back.

“Sorry, hemoglobin. What’s the mechanism behind forcing the virus into remission.”

“We are still trying to figure that out. But so far our tests have shown that an injection of purified hemoglobin sends the virus into remission.”

“But you must have a theory? The iron core or maybe its oxygen affinity?”

“We haven’t yet been able to determine that.”

“Fascinating.” Khatri said aloud. Seeing that Khatri was becoming lost in thought Suwong leaned forward to type out question.

“So what you are asking for is blood.”

At this the alien acolyte froze, looking at it’s compatriots who looked uncomfortable. After a great length the Praetor typed out.

“Yes.”

Suwong leaned back.

“So they want blood.” She muttered under her breath. That would be a fun report to write later. Terrance looked like he was about to have an aneurism. Her own earpiece had gotten unusually silent as well.

The ambassador looked at Khatri speaking directly to her.

“If we gave them permission to produce human blood what would that entail? If I recall my high school biology correctly blood cells are extremely simple.”

“Blood cells come from stem cells. Giving them access would be incredibly controversial, regardless of intent.” Khatri said shutting that option down.  

Terrance spoke up as well.

“We also don’t have any industries that produce blood in the quantities required. It’s never been needed. But there are other options. The mercy fleet is still stockpiling supplies. We could ask them to pick up human blood, even filter out the white blood cells.”

Suwong nodded eyeing the aliens sitting across the table who were visibly becoming distressed with the ongoing discussion. She tapped a message into the Screen.

“We would be willing to assist.”  

Terrance immediately began tapping on his Screen, undoubtedly communicating with the others in the other room to get to work.

The aliens seemed to visibly relax, the aide appearing to quaver with emotion. The Praetor carefully typed a message.

“Your sacrifices will never be forgotten.”  

*Uh, what?* Suwong frowned. Even for a Hilox that phrasing was odd.

“It will not be a big sacrifice, humans give blood all the time.”

This seemed to startle the scientist alien who interjected.

“Is blood not vital for you to live? How can extracting blood not be lethal?”

Suwong realized that the Hilox had a poorer understanding of human biology than her.

“Blood is replaced continuously, and humans give blood all the time.”

After a second she added, “We don’t give all the blood, just about a half liter at a time. It’s a careful procedure which ensures safety of the donor.”

This seemed to shock the aliens, and Khatri suddenly recalled that they had no such medical practice. Humans were surprisingly lacking in diversity compared to other species, at a broad scale anyway. Even dogs had at least 13 major blood groups compared to human’s 4. Even just looking at the three Hilox in front of her she could see a drastic size difference and unique head shape between each of them. If she recalled correctly the acidity of Hilox blood could vary from  6 to 10 which would make the notion of standardizing blood transfusions quite absurd.

The aliens still seemed stunned. “Why would you take blood?” This time it was the aide who was asking.

“In case someone needs it.” Suwong said, somehow inserting a shrug into her line of text.

“Loss of blood as you said previously can be fatal to humans. Which is why having a storage of blood on hand is beneficial to us.”

Khatri interrupted, ignoring the aliens who silently grappled with the implications of what Suwong had just described.

“I was doing some research on that, the nearest sizable blood bank is over 2 months away. Blood can only be kept in cold storage for maybe 50 to 60. There are smaller ones that are closer, but I’m talking really small. We should look into a fresher source.”

“Getting rather vampiric aren’t we.” Suwong joked.

Khatri ignored her, and continued on.

“I would suggest we look into the Trident Warp Hub. Lots of humans funnel through there to get to this region. An impromptu bank could be opened there.”  

“Yeah. That’s a good idea.” Suwong affirmed.

*We could also pull some blood out of whatever troops we have stationed in the sector.* She thought to herself.

The meeting closed with the cementing of details. Despite the Hilox’s somewhat awkward efforts, Suwong declined the their offer of compensation. The task of gathering the blood would be left for the humans to manage. Leaving the Hilox to prepare for the arrival of the mercy fleet. The Hilox delegate left feeling quite relieved, having evaded offending the humans, and buying their people more time.

And thus the crisis was averted. When the call went out people responded. Analysts estimated that combat efficiency in some units dropped 10% with soldiers competing to give more blood against doctor orders. The mercy fleet rapidly distributing the aid across the affected zones. In some cases the humanitarian workers gave blood on the field. Directly infusing with the sickened Hilox when they encountered shortages. The blood shortages didn’t last long. Khatri’s proposition was inspired brilliance. Nearly half a million humans went through the Trident Warp Hub daily. Every human who arrived received a message from the diplomatic office, requesting their aid. Alien travelers were greeted with the unusual sight of hundreds upon thousands of humans giving blood. Laid back on couches and benches with devices pumping them for blood. Like a macabre harvest. Appearances aside the result was fantastic. The tidal wave of deaths was stemmed by human blood. Regular donations of blood continued until the Hilox were able to create a permanent cure. It was an act of charity that the Hilox would long remember, paving a path for the induction of the Hilox into the Federation.

[so-flashtastic]

Ain’t no prince waiting for me

Soulmate AU Pairing: Barry Allen x reader

Summary: In spite of her tattoo, Y/N Y/L/N has given up this soulmate thing. She simply doesn’t believe it, she’s convinced that she’s doomed to never find her true love. But will an unfortunate event change that?

Warning: Eddie’s still alive!! He’s not going to die in my AU either;))

A/N: OK, so I have always wanted to do a soulmate-AU, I simply find the clichés adorable! In this one, the soulmate thing is the partner’s first words the first time they meet each other, but hey! If you liked this, and want m to make another soulmate-imagine, send me your idea! Enjoy:))

ϟϟϟϟϟ

“I’m telling you, Blaise, I just don’t believe in it!” Y/N was yet again arguing with her best friend about the idiotic soulmate thing.  “How can you not believe in it? This is how life works, how God have made it easier for us to find one another!” It was almost pointless to continue. The two had two completely different ideologies. Blaise: the girl who believed in fate, in God, in the stupid tattoos. And then there was Y/N: the one that believed in science, in random happenings and that were convinced she would die alone.

“You will never understand, B, I will never have what you and Hunter have,” this provoked Blaise, how could her almost perfect, best friend think so little of herself? “Of course you will, your wrist is proof of that, now stop the bullshit talk, Y/N,” her tone short and sharp.  “But Blaise, I swear I’m cursed or something! My younger siblings have met their partners, my whole family has always found their soulmates at a young age. All of my friends have their partners, heck you and Hunter have a kid, Blaise!”

“You’re not cursed, Y/N,” “Just look at this Blaise, it’s pure evil, my tattoo says ‘wow’! That can be anyone, it can be a creep, a jackass, it can be any guy on the planet!” “You need to stop being so pessimistic, Y/N, it doesn’t suit you,” Blaise kept her mouth in a thin line. “The complex is weird and unnatural,” “You can’t just say that!” “Watch me!” Y/N challenged, and shouted at the top of her lungs, which made Blaise just want to disappear. So she dragged her friend through the park. “Don’t wake Amos, Y/N,” she excused, and their discussion stopped there, the next talking-topic being how Y/N was doing at work.

“It’s so cool,” “It’s not that cool, Cisco,” Barry chuckled. His friend, teammate, and colleague had not stopped looking at his wrist in awe. “But it is! I mean, come on! The damsel falling in love with her hero – it’s a classic!” Cisco referred to the words ‘Holy crap, it’s him!’ “You know, it can also just be a girl that doesn’t like me or something, or-“ "Nope, this right here, my man, is a line said in adoration,” Cisco patted Barry’s back, and they went back to their work. 

Y/N sat on the Haydens’ couch as her friend walked around her apartment. “He gets to bed at-” “Seven, you know Blaise, I have babysitted Seany before, I know the drill: Dinner’s at 5, so that’s out of the way, if he’s hungry I can give him some fruits, bedtime’s at seven, but it’s no crisis if it gets closer to eight, and there’s food for me in the fridge for me to take whenever I want. I’m not the teenager neighbor you had to book last minute, B,” It was Blaise and Hunter’s date night, and as usual Y/N was there to babysit 'lil Sean.

“Of course, of course! I’m so sorry, just a bit nervous,” Y/N rolled her eyes at her friend, this was what happened each time, and Blaise would always start excusing herself for not 'trusting you enough’. This time, the difference was that Y/N managed to make that part take less time, and she pushed her almost hyperventilating best friend out the door to her husband.

“…And the Flash saves the day yet again,” Y/N closed her laptop and looked over to the other end of the couch, where the Flash’s biggest fan of the age of 3 laid with a clear view to her feet. “Kiddo, that was the last article, sorry bud,” “Have you checked Iris West?” What that still amazed Y/N about Sean, was that in spite of his lack of abilities when it came to naming the alphabet, and counting to fifteen like the other kids, he had this huge interest in The Flash – which made him speak of certain journalists as if he knew them. “We just read Iris West, Seany, I’m sorry,“

“What does yours say, aunty Y/N?” Sean looked at her wrist, which Y/N huffed at. 'What is it with this world? Why are everyone so eager on those stupid tattoos?’ But she pulled herself together and forced a smile. "You see, Sean, aunt Y/N isn’t as lucky as all the other ones, her tattoo doesn’t work,” “It doesn’t?” The little boy looked up at her with big, worried eyes, which by some way made Y/N feel bad for him. “No, but I’m sure yours work! Mommy’s and daddy’s worked, I’m just a bit less lucky,”

“Do you think the Flash has a tattoo?” Sean asks, which make Y/N laugh – if those words had come out of any other’s mouth, she would have rolled her eyes. “I believe so, yes,” “You are very pretty, aunty Y/N,” right there was one of the many reasons Y/N loved Sean. Sure, he wasn’t the best at keeping a conversation – that boy was more distracting than any kid Y/n had ever met. But in the end, Sean was this great, funny, bubbly guy that Y/N loved hanging out with. “Thank you, that was a very nice thing to say, you’re very handsome as well,"  "What if Flash is your soulmate?” Y/N almost choked, but before she could say anything, Sean continued: “Or maybe Patrick, he’s very cool, he works with the big kids,” exhaling, Y/N was relieved her little random, darling duckling was back.

The all too familiar sound of metal meeting glass rang through the room, and so Barry tried his best at not sinking deep into his chair. “I would like to make a toast…” It was his beautiful best friend, Iris, and her fiancé Eddie’s engagement party, and even though he couldn’t be more happy for the two, he couldn’t shake off the sad feeling in his heart. His parents, his friends – it even seemed like the little kids that were running around had found their partners for life. Barry couldn’t take one step anywhere, without being reminded that he hadn’t found his soulmate yet. 

“You know, I met my mate at the age of 13,” the drunk next to Barry stated. “I heard the most regular age to meet is between 9 and 23,” Was it Eddie’s cousin that said that? “How 'bout you, Terry? Found the love of your life yet?” 'How did I even end up here?’ Barry smiled at the old man. “No, but I-” “Gary! His name is Gary, grandpa!"  "I’ll just go and find Iris,” Barry enlightened to the little party, and then left to do just so.

“Barry! Hey, I haven’t seen you at all tonight!” Iris had clearly gotten a few glasses, but when she saw right through the fake smile of Barry Allen, her tipsy state disappeared right away.  “Uhm, babe, I’ll just go get more ice,” once Eddie had given his wife-to-be a kiss in acknowledgment, the two best friends found their way to the porch.

Iris had a feeling what had caused barry’s light frown but had let him talk out about it anyway.  “Barry, you’re going to be fine. Look, I’m sure your girl’s just right around the corner, whomever up there would be a real ass if she’s not,” her last comment made Barry smile. “Yeah, of course,” he nodded, regretting that he’d taken his best friend out of her own engagement party.

It wasn’t an everyday thing for Y/N Y/L/N to go to Tiffany’s to eat her breakfast. Thing is, she always had a wish to do so – let her inner Audrey Hepburn shine. So today, she could happily cross it off her bucket list. What she hadn’t thought of though, was Central City being a slightly criminal city, with many jewelry-loving evil metahumans. So in her little black dress, matching gloves, big dark sunglasses and pearl necklace, Y/N witnessed the first robbery in her life. ’It will be fine, Y/N. What’s the odds of anyone coming and ripping off your grandmother’s pearls in the middle of the streets? Oh God, what have I ever done to deserve this?’ Y/N thought of her earlier words to herself, almost shaking by the thought of the scene she frightened happening.

She waited for the alarm that never came and looked around herself. One babysitter strolling with a toddler, a man in a suit, and herself – that meant two witnesses if anything happened. When the nanny and the businessman soon disappeared, Y/N decided to try her breakfast at Tiffany’s another time. 'Time to use those ninja-skills you brag about to Sean,’ “Oh hello,” A not-too-friendly voice spoke up behind her. 'Oh merde,' 

Deciding to pretend she hadn’t heard him, Y/N sped up her pace, walking as fast as a girl in heels could. Suddenly she felt her necklace get pulled backward so hard she got troubles breathing, making her whole body follow. “That’s some lovely piece of woman your jewelry got there,” that must have been the lamest, creepiest pick-up line Y/N had ever heard. With no one in sight, she tried her best to distract his attention away from robbing her. But instead of saying: “The pearls were my grandmothers”, whimpers escaped her lips. “Flash,” the meta behind her seemed both tense and annoyed. If she could, Y/N would have breathed out in relief, but that being difficult, she tried her best just breathing normally.

Usually, when Barry went into Flash-mode, he didn’t notice the ones around him that weren’t in danger. His eyes were on the metas, and the metas only, so when he was done defeating the telekinesis, had sped him off to the old particle accelerator, his next task was at hand: Double check on the wounded. Though when he did came back, there weren’t many people at the crime-scene. “Wow…” Barry said quietly, taking in the rich girl’s appearance. Her hair was sat up in a weird, kind of snobbish way, but that suited her in a way. And her lips! Her beautiful, pink lips, parted a bit because of the shock probably. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see the color of her, most likely, stunning eyes. The pearls were placed against her collarbones perfectly, and along with the black dress she looked very put together: Very higher-class: Very not the kind of people Barry hung out with – or were in his league.

At that same time, Y/N had just thawed from her frozen state: It was actually the Flash. He was in front of her. And before she could stop herself, the words spilled form her lips: “Holy shit it’s him,” All she could think about was the face behind the mask. Would his smile match the warm, green and kind eyes? Would his personality do as well? Would he be a stuck up jerk, or the nicest guy possible? She wanted to see him, the real hero under the suit. Though just when she saw a blurred picture of him opening his mouth, Y/N lost control of her now numb body, and passed out.

“Now that’s one fine looking lady you got there, Bar,” Joe said, looking over to the other room at the rich girl.  “Pretty good catch if she’s not a monster,” Cisco sucked on his lollypop while following Joe’s gaze. She’d been unconscious for about an hour, and Barry still hadn’t moved his attention from the sleeping beauty. “Yeah…” He had answered, hoping for just that.

Y/N had found out, the hard way, that it was a terrible thing to pass out. Not only the uncomfortable feeling of not being able to see for seconds before she lost it, but also losing control of her legs. When she heard unfamiliar voices around her, Y/N decided it was for the best not to open her eyes completely just yet. “Pretty good catch if she’s not a monster,” 'Oh dear God. I’m in my Holly-costume,“ "Yeah…” 'This honestly can’t get worse’Y/N kept thinking about the endless choices of near futures she had. Her rescuers could be kidnappers. The kidnappers could jury her in many ways, and considering her choice of outfit, robbery didn't seem impossible. 'Oh please God almighty, please say they're not rapists!' "Hey, is it normal for unconscious people to have nightmares?" 'Crap, Blaise was right, I really need to work on my poker face! God dammit Y/N!' Deciding her little act didn't hold, Y/N opened her eyes, the first thing she saw being a wrist with black ink.

"Wow..." That was the second time that day. Barry just couldn't stop himself, her eyes... They were the absolute perfect shade of Y/E/C.  "Shit," the stranger girl's words were almost impossible to catch, but Barry did, and saw her eyes glued on his tattoo. His eyebrows furrowed, what was she doing? But once their eyes locked for what had to be the third time that day, he understood. "It's you," he stated. His soulmate nodded. "I'm Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N," She whispered, still looking deep into his eyes. "Barry Allen," at that he closed the gap. They kissed. Her on the bed, and him hovering over her. It didn't take may minutes before Cisco made a big deal out of it. "I told you, man!" He outed right after a wolf whistle. And the happy couple smiled. They had finally found each other. After all that time.

ϟϟϟϟϟ

A/N: The hard part of writing such clichés as a soulmate imagine, is that it’s almost impossible to write good! SO I hope the cuteness (hopefully there’s some cuteness in here…) made up for the bad writing and crappy ending:))

[smokeybrand]

Jill Sandwich

So Resident Evil 3 Remake is out in the wild and i can finally talk about this thing in detail. I have an interesting relationship with the RE franchise. It’s kind of a love/hate situation. I love the first three titles and Veronica. I kind of hate everything that came after. IV through VI are just plain awful, particularly VI. Cats fight me about IV but i don’t care for it. Capcom stopped doing what they do best, desperate survival horror, and started emulating those action films starring Leeloo Dallas. That’s find but, i mean, watching Chris Redfield, jacked up on the super roids, punch out a whole ass boulder, while fighting a chimera virus infected Wesker, in the heart of a goddamn volcano, was way too much. And there was another entire game after that one with this campy, wacky, bullsh*t. I hated it. All of it. Then Resident Evil VII dropped and everything changed.

Revelations hinted at a return to form but it was REVII that showed the world what Resident Evil was really about. My goodness was that game good. I was on the edge of my seat playing through that coil of stress, atmosphere, and insidious violence. It was beautiful. That game was beautiful. I found my self longing for that engine, driving my favorite title of the entire franchise, Resident Evil II. To my surprise i got exactly what i wanted. Holy sh*t, when Resident Evils II Remake dropped, i sh*t myself. This was the Resident Evil game i always wanted. This is what survival horror should have been the entire time. Remake hit every note of nostalgia while building a brand new experience. Not only were the graphics updated, bu the entire story was streamline and, thanks to some excellent voice work, it was rather enthralling this go around. REII was already one of my favorite games but Remake found a spit right next to it on my all-time list. When i finished that motherf*cker for the first time, after experiencing that horror on two legs called Mr. X, i thought about how dope Nemesis would be in this engine. To my surprise, i wouldn’t have to wait long to find out.

First and foremost, R3make is goddamn gorgeous. It’s absolutely beautiful. Capcom’s RE Engine pulls all of it’s weight on this one. The lighting and particle effects are spectacular. I thought Remake II looked great but this game really stand out. There are a few little concessions made to push the hardware but that’s to be forgiven. I can deal with an exploding limb or disappearing body if it means i can get the detail and literally horde levels of zombies on my ass at all times. It’s insane just how many of theses things are packed on screen, in that level detail, while Nemesis is launching f*cking rockets at you.

I have to absolutely gush about the writing for a minute here. I remember the old REIII being kind of hokey, kind of campy. I chocked it up to the limitations of the OG PlayStation. Not this one. The PS4 gives the script writers a level of power to get really creative. The dialogue Jill has with everyone feels real, It feels organic. She acts like a person with training in the middle of a crisis and i adore every second of it. I mean, her banter with Carlos is more than enough for the price of admission.

Also, Jill is just a regular badass. It’s dope seeing her getting her proper due in this game. The last time we saw her, outside of one of those Revelation games, she was a muppet for Wesker. Bullsh*t, son! Not here. Here, she is in all her bad ass. Umbrella busting, glory and i love it. I also love her redesign. Function over fashion, ya dig?

The remix of levels caught me off guard at first. They took out a lot of set pieces i remember like the park and Jill’s run through the RPD. These aspects of her original playthrough make an appearance, just in completely different ways. Also worth mentioning, there are like, no puzzled in this game. I remember the original being very, frustratingly, puzzle heavy way back when. This game is not that. It is a narrative focused, action driven, murder fest. I am more than okay with that particular alteration.

The redesigned enemies in this game are spectacular. I kind of expected a few changed, mostly based on the Ivy from Remake II, but Capcom really found a way to be creative with these new enemies. There’s, like, Las Plagas zombies in this thing. You blow of their heads and a parasite pops out. It’s insane. I always though Nemesis was infected with a Plagas and this game kind of confirms that. I love the new take on the Hunters. The Alphas have kind of a predator face now but the Gammas? The Gammas have this massive parasite that pops out of their gaping maws. It looks just like the Gravedigger and since there isn’t really a park level to this game, imagine they serve the same purpose. Or, repurpose in this case. There’s even a couple of surprises in store for those who know their lore. Their horrifying Resident Evil lore.

F*cking Nemesis, man. Nemesis is nightmare fuel incarnate. Dude is outright horrifying, the entire time you play this game. He’s fast, agile, and f*cking terrifying. I had problems with Mr. X but this asshole? Dude literally sprints after you when you run away. I kind of hate it but, at the same time, i f*cking need it! Good ol’ Nemi’s redesign is amazing. I was a little iffy at first, but seeing it in action sold me. And then his second form happened. Bro. What? And then that third. Okay, Capcom, come on? Y’all were just showing off with that one.

The only thing holding this game back, in my opinion, is that it can get a little REVI at times. I mean that the action becomes just a hair too over-the-top. That entire end sequence with final form Nemesis was absolutely ridiculous. I mean, i loved it, don’t get me wrong, but, f*ck, coming off Remake II and several parts of this one, it just felt a little out of place. There’s a few times where this issue creeps up but, like i said, it’s more of a nitpick than anything. The grounded nature and character driven narrative distract from the more... zealous aspects of this game.

As far as gameplay, if you played Remake II or any of the RE titles after IV, you know what to expect. Over the shoulder, third person, all day! I hate shooters but i can play the f*ck out of these types. Tank controls have gone the way of the dodo it seems but i ‘m not bad with their replacement. This game feels right with this camera set up. Shooting feels right. Dodging feels rewarding. This game feels real good to play.

There aren’t anymore of those quick decision deals like in the original but that’s not a problem. They would have interfered with the narrative driven aspects of this game. You can still, you know, shoot Nemi in the face for dope sh*t but i wouldn’t. F*ck all of that. Maybe after a third of fourth playthrough. Maybe. There’s no Mercenaries mode or multiple endings but you can play a good portion as Carlos and there’s a brand new multiplayer component with it’s own narrative called Resident Evil Resistance so, i guess that’s dope? I dunno. I f*cks with that single player campaign all day, tho.

R3make is f*cking outstanding. I love this game. Absolutely adore the f*ck out of it. I still like Remake II better but that’s more because i just adore II overall. That said, R3make is the f*cking tits. This sh*t is fast paced, adrenaline pumping, stress inducing, action packed, zombie killing. It does justice to Jill, makes me care about Carlos, and even does some interesting things with Nemesis. I was thoroughly surprised by some narrative choices taken but they dded to the overall plot,giving life to a game that sorely needed it, while not compromising once on gameplay. While there are certain design aspects i would have liked seen skew closer to the earlier titles in the franchise rather than the later ones, that is a small gripe. Even in all of it’s Bayhem glory, and there is a lot of that toward th end, this game never loses the spirit of who it is. Resident Evil III Remake is a f*cking masterpiece and you should get into it the second this quarantine lifts if you haven’t already had an opportunity to grab a copy.

[gwenpaint-blog]

You have a moirail in me

@croupiergin

((In which good beans talk about their pal confessions to each other and more.

Paint

With a certain letter clutched in your hand, you head to Karkat's room rather quickly and knock on his door. Hopefully he's not horribly busy with his work.

Karkat

You take a moment to answer because you ARE very embarrassed and just kind of. Peek your face out of the doorway. You turn CRIMSON upon seeing her and just squeak out a  "hi".

Paint

Your own face is strawberry pink and you stammer, "H-h-hello! Um... G-got your let-ter!" You suddenly have no idea why you rushed over here cause you have no idea what you want to say.

Karkat

You wheeze. You stand there for a long moment and then feel yourself starting to overheat. Oh, god, you are a disaster. Someone confesses to you, you like them back ,and all you can do is stammer. "Great!" And then you immediately lay down directly on the floor and just. Cover your face.

Paint

You look at him, then at yourself and you giggle. "This is.... A v-very us way to react isn't i-it..." you say with a smile as you move to sit beside him.

Karkat

"Fuck me running, it is." You laugh a bit and look at her. You soften, just a bit. "Gwen, are...are you sure about me?" What a strange question, but you ask it with earnestness on your face.

Paint

You take his hand and smile warmly, still very flushed but sliding so naturally into this comfortable way of talking with him. "You're not ruining anything. Honestly it's a relief to know I'm not the only one who reacts to crushes and feelings in this flustered way," you tell him sincerely. With one of your hands under his and the other on top and patting lightly, you continue, "I am quite sure. Like I said, you help me feel better and like I can live up to what you see in me. And I want to do the same for you."

Karkat

You stare up at the ceiling for a moment. It's an interesting thought process. On the one hand, your instinct is to brush her off and make a joke out of things. On the other...If you both want to be each other's moirails, isn't the entire point of that to not just give in to that instinct?? "..Okay. I feel the same. So let's give this a try."

Paint

"Alright..." you say before wrapping your arms around him and pulling him gently up into a hug. You're heart is full of happy feelings and you want to somehow communicate how much you care and want to lift him up as the wonderful person you know he is.

Karkat

You laugh again, even happier this time, and hug her back tightly. Your heart is full to bursting! Even just sitting on the uncomfortable floor feels comfortable. Goddamn, no wonder everyone paps each other all the damn time.

Paint

For the moment you have forgotten briefly how stressed you were, then your phone buzzes with a message and you stiffen a little. "Oh, sorry I should turn my phone off maybe," you say as the fret tinges your voice slightly.

Karkat

"Eh. I'm not gonna make you go silent, especially on a night like tonight." What with all the frogs. You stand and offer out a hand to her. "Let's hang out? We can just relax and shit. I'm done with my recent job, and everything."

Paint

Oh yes. That's a good idea. You are not really able to prevent one of your flushed crushes from killing the other when it comes down to it. "That sounds wonderful," you smile and quickly slip the stress device away. "I'd love yo hear about the job you were working on. You were so busy this week!" you say with great interest as you take his hand and stand as well.

Karkat

"Oh, ummm." Oh , handholding. You feel like a fucking baby when you blush but....hands.....holding! "Um, it was an idea I had for the Crew. Using our connections with the casino debts and all..." You explain your whole week thing to her as you both get settled in your room. You're feeling pretty proud about it even though you're not totally finished yet- You're at least done enough that it counts by god.

Paint

You listen with interest and while you are squishy and feel a little bad for the debtors, you are also very proud of Karkat and excited for him! You beam, "That's wonderful! And such a good idea too. I'm so glad it went well and I'm sure you can convince all of them!" And if he doesn't you are pretty sure someone will break their knees which is horrifying but this is the mob...

Karkat

"Yeah, and Kanaya's had one hell of a hand in being incredibly terrifying. ...It's nice, to be able to do something." You sound sad, and for once you don't shove it aside. "You know? I don't have many places to go usually, and after, all this, I really haven't gone anywhere. So even if it's gang shit, this is nice."

Paint

You can sympathize a great deal with that. You administer another hug as you say, "That is understandable.... What with the tensions and all..." You look at his face then have an idea. "Maybe when you have time, we could go somewhere together? I'm actually working on submitting some artwork to a gallery Mr. Pembrooke gave me a contact to," you offer. It's not a lot, but it's something that might be interesting perhaps.

Karkat

"...I'd like that. I love your work." You rub your chin. "At least with my nubby bullshit it's easy enough to be hard to recognize when I go out. Just gotta tame my hair and wear a hat."

Paint

"Maybe Sock would lend you one of his pairs of sunglasses," you say as you blush brightly when he tells you he loves your work.

Karkat

"....God I'd look like such a fucking tool I absolutely have to ask him." You look gleeful. Fuck, you have to look like an idiot anyhow with your horns smushed under fabric, might as well go the full mile.

Paint

You're totally going to knit him the cutest beanie. "I wager it'd be dashing," you giggle. You can't deny how nice this is.... And perhaps you should tell him what you've been up to. That was how pale relationships worked, the parties looking out for one another.

Karkat

"Your wager is a fool's errand." You say, not too seriously. You feel nice about this. Comfortable. Different to family, comfortable.

Paint

You laugh a little then grow a bit more serious. "M-may I tell you about something that has been weighing on my mind?" you ask softly looking at your hands shyly.

Karkat

You look at her for a second, before nodding and putting one of your hands over hers. "Sure. Lay it on me."

Paint

You're quiet a moment, bundling up your courage before say very softly, "I have a flushed crush on Ms. Snowman and I know I shouldn't..."

Karkat

You blink and then nod, thoughtfully. "I mean, I can totally understand it. I have one too, though  more like a schoolyard crush.... Are you, er, planning on doing anything about it or just gonna moon at her?"

Paint

You shake your head no. "I am trying not to... I... I know it originated from when we were all candy coated in October..." you start to explain. "The reason I don't participate in casual sex is that, I am confident I can't without becoming emotionally attached to the person. We were able to talk about where we were after, but there's no way I can get that same closure with Ms. Snowman to try to move on. I've been trying to move on but.... I'm not the best at it...."

Karkat

You nod again after a second. "Yeah....Yeah I can see that. Oof. Well, I think it'd be a helluva lot easier if we weren't constantly in the midst of some crisis, right?" You run  a hand through your hair and switch to romance guru mode. "I get that it might feel hard but I think that since you're already decided that you won't go the romance route that...eventually you'll be safe, emotionally speaking. It might take a while but I'm pretty sure of all people you can look at it logically."

Paint

You sigh, "I'm doing my best... But when I see her distressed or I think of her I end up messaging her even when I tell myself not to..." You hug hi. Because hugs are good and make you feel less of a mess.

Karkat

You hug her back and sigh. "Well, I dunno, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. It might make her think she's got a hold on you, but so long as you're not like, blabbing there's no law against it." You pause. "And, if it's about tonight specifically, well, haha, I super don't fucking blame you, holy shit.'

Paint

You look at him and then sort of deflate against him in relief. "Oh thank goodness.... I thought I was being an absolute fool for reaching out to her ..." All the stress you'd been bundling up as you'd been unkind to yourself and berating yourself falls away letting you feel much more at ease. That's an incredible thing about Karkat. The way he sees things sensibly when you are blind to it.

Karkat

You pet her hair a little, automatically. "Naw, I don't think so. She hasn't done anything directly horrible to you, so it makes sense you'd still want to be friendly ish because you're a good person. And, in my humble opinion, could probably talk down the fucking queen of cats."

Paint

The hair petting feels like a form of heaven and you smile, "While I could certainly try, I don't think I'm at such a level of persuasion." You weave your fingers between his in his free hand.

Karkat

"Fair. Give it a coupl'a years." You chortle and lean against her comfortably. This is really, really nice. You feel...soothed? What is this witchcraft?? "No harm in a crush anyhow. I mean, look at where dad's at with her."

Paint

"As a kissmesses? I mean... They've known and hated each other a long time," you say thoughtfully, "And aside from that... I think most likely we are incompatible as people even if the factions didn't exist." Translation, you think you're not beautiful enough or interesting enough for a queen like Snowman.

Karkat

You huff. Boop her nose. "Don't you say that. I know what you mean because I would say the same damn thing. It's true you two probably wouldn't be great but not 'cause you're no good but just 'cause...Honestly your personalities aren't really great meshes. For one she is fucking insufferable and you have worked your way up the Crew ranks by your own work alone."

Paint

You are startled by the boop and then blush. "You're really kind and smart you know," you tell him with a warm smile.(edited)

Karkat

You look a shade embarrassed. Yeah, the compliments will take a little bit longer to get used to. "Speak for yourself, Gwen."

Paint

You hum and tap your chin, "Perhaps we agree that we are both kind and smart in our ways? I think that would be fairly true."

Karkat

You huff, but you're grinning. "Well if I must."

Paint

You laugh and give him a soft squeeze. "Good. Have you had any dinner yet?" you ask. Maybe it would be fun to cook together.

Karkat

"Er...." You look sheepish. "No. I've been busy doing stuff. "

Paint

You stand and take his hand, tugging him lightly towards the door as you quirk and eyebrow with a teasing grin, "Let's fix that then! We can whip something good up in not too much time. A good meal is good to keep the mind sharp."

Karkat

You sigh dramtically but go along perfectly contentedly. How can you not, after all. Food is.....a temptation that you will never turn down. "Alright but you gotta eat too. It's only fair."

Paint

"Alright! That's just fine," you smile and lead the way to the kitchen.

[1111maiamilobi333sunshade77-blog]

Liar-liar pants on fire 🔥

M: Can you start sending me the amount of money you promised me so I can get places and eat. You’re still responsible as my legal spouse I don’t even have enough money for the Uber pool I need now. J: I’m sorry I don’t really have any cash this week as I have to pay rent. I can put in a 100$ today. I’m in a meeting now M: Are you lying again? You live off more money than I just admit it I’ll tell my mother everything. And I’ll tell your mother everything J: Maia I have no money I just paid for your mom to come out here and I need to pay rent this week. You will have to live off of 100$ for a week as I’m paying 4000$ for the house you are living and just paid 165 to keiser for our monthly premium. I also have to pay 2300$ to the lawyers in Canada as we still owe them from when we got our visa more than a year ago. There is nothing my mother doesn’t know and I’ve spoken to your mom and there is nothing she doesn’t know either. Everything is out in the open. M: No it’s not Your texts with TK aren’t and unflattering photos of her wearing that strap on J: Idon’t know what to say. I had to pay almost 25000 in rent this week I have no more money. I can put 100$ in your account tonight that’s the best I can do I told my mom you might send her that picture unfortunately you don’t realize but it won’t effect anything except making you look bad in her eyes why would you do that. My mom knows I like the strap on I wanted her already. It won’t make me give glory more money I don’t have. I’m sorry M: You’ve left me to struggle in crisis mode for 2 months. The most helpful and only thing you’ve done are: 1. Pay rent in the house you still have furniture and belongings in. 2. Having left the house and fucked off. 3. Warm up a can of soup after I beg you to. 4. Doing a sloppy job pretending you can’t vacuum after resisting it with lame excuses. 5. Going for groceries w me to sprouts once and paying for it. Impressive Jeremy. Is mr Nepp out in the open? Is the fact that you got fucked in the ass while I was working to pay for my school out in the open? You’re such a wonderful person. Just amazing. J: Maia if you were so struggling you should have gone to the hospital to get more help. I’m sorry that I can’t do everything for you. I’ve done my best since we broke up but it never was good enough for you even when we were together. For that I’m sorry. My stuff will be out of the house on Wednesday and Thursday than you will have a month in the house with only you and your possessions the cost of that is 4000 I have to pay that this week which is why I have no cash. M: I’ll need to come by the house Wednesday during the day and Thursday to get my stuff out. This is all the help they can offer you dumb ass. You said you’ll be there for me for night ritual to make sure I slept. All your empty promises You’ve done literally nothing but the bare minimum Your best is doing and saying nothing. You’re such a disappointment You’ve been working. You’re married to weed and work and deviant sex Get ur stuff out TODAy I prepped it. Do your job, lazy. It’s even easier today. Get ur speakers out. Do it today so I can change the locks J: I don’t have my car because it broke down. I have arranged to move stuff Wednesday and Thursday. That’s what I arranged. I’ll text you once I’ve deposited the 100$ in your account I just deposited 100$ in your Wells Fargo account Thats just the tip of the ICE berg. Karma is a bitch isnt she?

[jrspatialtheory2018]

Final Annotations

Burke,S. (2017,March). Retrieved March 15, 2018, from https://www.ted.com/talks/sinead_burke_why_design_should_include_everyone

Keywords

·      Experiences

·      Surrounding

·      Design

·      Challenge

·      Insight

·      Perceptions

·      Questions

·      Inhibits

·      Conscious

Sinead Burkes explains in her Ted talk “why design should include everyone”.   Although she isn't a designer at practice, she proves to us that she is more conscious of how things are designed. Her day to day experiences inhibits her independence as she has a growth abnormality called Achondroplasia.  In her talk she details her experiences followed by thought provoking questions to challenge designers to have a holistic view when designing.

Burke's approach in her Ted talk was not to gain sympathy for her inherited condition. Although she took an informal approach, she was making very strong points on inclusiveness. She strongly drove home the message that with her unique condition she fell in the group of minority, who are usually overlooked. With her detailed account of her inconveniences while handling even the basic tasks of everyday life, she provided a bases on how designers could expand their thinking in an attempt to provide an all-inclusive, rounded design.

Both Burke and Rebecca Solnit who wrote “Orbits of earthly bodies” (2003) don’t have a design background, however, both asked thought provoking questions around design just by virtue of their experiences.  Listening to this talk certainly engaged me as a designer and prompted me to have a better insight in my design practice. For my studio project, we were asked to go on a site visit to the Arataki Centre. At first I was reluctant to go because of the distance to the site and wanted to use the alternate option of looking at it from GIS maps.  Burkes experiences provoked me to engage with my surroundings. I hope to achieve this by recording my observation, not only of the site but also of the surroundings that would be a useful input for my final project - depicting both normal and unusual features, as well as recording sensory perceptions, would help me create some innovative and meaningful designs that can accommodate everyone.

Chesterton, G. K. (2015). The thing: Why I am a Catholic.  The drift from Domesticity

(p.g.  25-32)  Aeterna Press.

Keywords

·     Reform

·     Purpose

·     Justified

·     Social

·     Logical

·     Reason

·     Existence

·     Deform

·     Preserved

·     Reconstruction

·     Destroyed

·     Rebuilt

The Book “The Thing: Why I am a Catholic”, has a very thought provoking chapter titled “The Drift from Domesticity". This chapter investigates what forces were causing a negative light on a household and why the Catholic faith tries to restore the family against obliteration. A theory is placed with this discussion called the “Chesterton's fence” principle. The idea behind this theory is to make individuals aware that there should be no reforms unless there is an understanding behind the purpose it has.

This paradox I found was the most useful insight in this chapter.  The way he forms this discussion behind this principle started with the example of the placement of a gate or fence being shifted by a modern type of reformer.   The intelligent type of reformers reply was “if you don't see the use of it, I certainly won't let you clear it away.”

(Chesterton, 2015, p. 25) This bold response frames Chesterton’s discussion that in order to reconstruct or destroy something, there should be a justified understanding of the use of it.

This principle reminded me of my studio brief, where we were asked to design with the idea of beholding the sacredness of the site at Arataki.  However, my initial design approach towards this site was to remove the whole center and some surrounding trees to fit the design I wanted to implement. This is often a common design approach for many designers, and it concerns me that it is ingrained in us. This text highlights these bad habits and informs us to be mindful of our surroundings. Through this understanding, I approached my studio project differently and conducted further research about the Arataki site. I learned that a huge amount of physical connection between individuals and wildlife in particular caused a disease in the kauri trees. This meant they had to close down some walkways and enforce a rahui onto the site, so that those trees can be restored to its natural nature. Chesterton’s principle has informed me to question the existence of things, by gaining deeper insights into the surroundings I am working with.

Pollan, M. (1998). Beyond Wilderness and Lawn . In W. M. Jen Jack Gieseking (Ed.), The People, Place, and Space Reader (pp. 273-277). Taylor & Francis Group.

Keywords

·      Environment

·      Wilderness

·      Lawn

·      Aesthetic

·      Nature

·      Garden

·      Culture

·      Community

·      Landscape

·      Preservation

·      Surroundings

·     Individual

“Beyond Wilderness and Lawn” written by Michael Pollan considers the nature of these two environments and how they are viewed in America.  While evaluating these two areas the future of the garden and its cultural activity is also brought into our understanding.  Pollon reminds us to be considerate of all settings as this not only reinforces aesthetic qualities, but demonstrates a rich understanding of the connections we make with our environment.

Pollan creates thoughtful insights through comparisons of preservation vs development and of what is wild vs what isn't. Through these claims that nature and culture are opposing factors, my reasoning of understanding that none of these comparisons should have a higher authority, are now fixed in me. His findings have also proved that if one was to believe in the authority of those concepts, a distant separation between an individual and their surroundings are formed.   This often influences people to view certain environments from afar which Pollen does not encourage.

In my studio practice I was presented with the task of designing for the Arataki site, that has 16,000hectares of native rainforest and a coastline that surrounds it.  The placement of the site in relation to the forests as well as the Rahui placed over the Waitakere ranges, created constraints on how much space we could explore. The view from far was spectacular, however, this text has now made me question how one can live in it, rather than making social environments that can seem foreign to us.  Inspired by this reading for my studio practice, I was influenced into working with the placement of a garden adjoining my pavilion design which is detached from the existing site.  The garden will not only conform the normality of the area, but it also invites people to be more engaged with their sensory perception of the environment prior to entering the site. Pollen has now challenged me to work further with the garden design concept to create connections to the existing site. Moreover, this will help people understand that they shouldn’t isolate themselves from nature, but be part of it.

Denton, A. (2016). Affective modes of cinematic inquiry: Oil and subjective distance in Crude (2016) and Flight (2016). PAN: Philosophy Activism Nature, (12), 195.

Keywords

·      Visual and aural

·      Techniques

·      Evocative

·      Cinematic

·      methods

·      Imposed

·      Constraints

·      Excursions

·      Awareness

·      Methods

·      Insights

·     camera

This article and photo- essay “Affective modes of cinematic inquiry: Oil and subjective distance in Crude (2016) and Flight (2016)” by Andrew Denton explores what is overlooked in the industry, and the impact it has on climate change through a cinematic lense.   His photographic images and methods engages with the   visual and aural richness of his work while the facts provide us with information on the subject related to ecological crisis and the impacts it has on our environment.

His passion for this topic is to be commendable but the informality of his content and style of writing didn't make his argument on pollution and consumption very convincing in this text. However, his choice of images when going on various excursions played a bigger role in strengthening his argument for this article. Being a photographer I was more interested with his cinematic methods such as slow motion cinematography as well as linear camera movements with wide angle lenses and photos rather than his factual information on oil sands industry and the impact on fossil fuels. These raw and natural methods of practice informed me to create evocative insights towards projects.

This source acknowledged many raw and natural methods of practice and research techniques that can be easily implemented into my studio work. It reminded me to be aware of the natural components of materials in relation to my projects rather than an aesthetic point of view. Through my studio project, I used a tedious material which was clay. Because we were making the clay bowls for the time period required for our studio project we had to use various heating methods for it to set in the time period we had. Once heated in the kiln, the slight cracks that I assumed would appear after coming out from the heat were slightly larger than expected. Coming to the realization that if I used Denton’s approach and slowed things down I would have a better looking bowl. However, his exploration of what is overlooked in the industry, reminds me to go back and look at the material that worked and didn't to inform other ideas and come up with suitable way to reuse the resources. This then made me realize that the cracked clay could work in our favor because it reinforced the earthly properties which linked directly to our previous projects on the creation of the Maori earth and sky Gods.

Ingold, T. (2007). Materials against materiality. Archaeological Dialogues,14(01), 1. doi:10.1017/s1380203807002127

Keywords:  

·      Materials

·      landscape,

·      Perception

·      Anthropology

·      Properties

·      Archaeology

·      Objects

·      Medium

·      Environment

·      Attributes

·      Human

·      Fluxes

·      Nature

·      Engaging

·     Matter

Tim Ingold “Materials against Materiality” is a journal based article written to address the   difference between the materiality and the material culture. Ingold's exploration through the study of Anthropology raised questions on our perception towards certain materials. His text raises the concern about human activity, by focusing on the displeasure that a mental image is already placed onto a material reality.  

Keeping in mind this was a journal article, I approached this text in a very formal manner. However, the puzzle activity he invites us to do prior to reading the article discards this formal concept. The purpose of this puzzle was to inform us that “things are active not because they are imbued with agency but because of ways in which they are caught up in these currents of the lifeworld” (Ingold, 2007, p. 1). His subjective opinion presents the idea that properties of certain materials should not be identified through a fixed state but through process of what happens to it. It is through this puzzle example that I agreed with the opinion he was creating.

The puzzle of the stone also highlighted that even an object so bare can change its nature from the “involvement of the surroundings, such as the way it is observed as well as how it flows with the rest of phenomenology. Ingold's article has challenged me to drift away from working with my prior knowledge of a material, by engaging thoroughly with the fluxes of materials, as well as my awareness of the matter and the medium that surrounds them. In my current studio project, I have created a pavilion with vines that encapsulate it, working with fake materials such as astro turf and plant imitations has restricted my understanding of the variation in materials. However, an approach that Ingold has influenced me to take is the idea of buying samples of the raw materials that I would be implementing through my project and working in contact with it, to see how it evolves.   Experimenting and observing my materials and recording changes over time will be an interesting observation that can help enhance my studio project design.

[starnova-between-two-worlds]

So I had to go to the hospital.

I was in the hospital last week, until last Wednesday. I’m not going to go into details as to why. I actually called myself in to the crisis line, requesting OUTPATIENT HELP, but then they sent some responder over who took me to the ER. So I was like “Okay, I’ll go to the ER, because maybe I really need to be in the ER right now.” And then it turns out that ER had completely trash social workers who thought listening to the patient was just an option and not something she’s supposed to do. So they ended up telling the doctors the OPPOSITE of what I actually told them, and so I ended up being sent to the hospital for 5 days. I will not be trusting a single fuckin’ person from that crisis organization ever again and I will be warning other people not to go to them unless they’re okay with ending up in hospital. I was looking for help, not to end up in a hospital for a week. 

I’m gonna start off by quelling any worries and saying this was not a Bedlam-house style facility with Nurse Rachets and people running around howling into the night about the mark of the beast or whatever. Nobody put me in a straitjacket (they don’t even have those anymore) or any sort of restraint at all, and nobody gave me what Gibson calls “the butt needle” (thorazine), though I did have to watch some other patient get “the butt needle” (which isn’t in the butt, it’s on the hip) and it was fucking terrifying to see that happen in real life. I had my soulbonds with me the entire time, from the 5150 to the ER straight through to finally being free to go and eating an entire everything-in-front-of-me at Pizza Hut after having not had pizza in what felt like an eternity. Nobody bothered my soulbonds, except for some of the other patients, who I then avoided because fuck that. What I’m grateful for is that:

A. it was not a Bedlam house, and the nurses and doctors were actually very kind and caring towards me and the other patients.

B. I had gone in terrified due to all the stories I’ve heard of mental facilities that left patients in their own dirt and shit, stories of nurses and orderlies and doctors beating and raping patients, and patients being deemed “out of control” and thorazined for defending themselves, (Let me tell you right now there’s no way I wouldn’t go full animal mode against someone who was trying to sexually assault me) and the hospital turned out to be none of that at all. There was no threat to our safety from the nurses, doctors, and orderlies there, and they all treated us with kindness and actual respect. 

C. Nobody bothered my soulbonds. The idea that they would actually terrified me most of all. That they would see my soulbonds, or rather see me interacting with them, and decide “Oh, she’s in psychosis, it’s butt-needle time.” This did not happen and eventually the doctor even deemed that my soulbonds were not consistent with active schizophrenic hallucinations.  

The other patients were, for the most part, normal. I’m going to refrain from writing any details about them because it’s just not respectful to do, but except for one or two cases they were normal. The thing is that made me one of the least normal people on the ward, and the younger patients (my age or younger) sure as hell made it known that they wanted nothing to do with that. Once again, I was in a world full of humans and it was plain to see that I was not among them. After I overheard them laughing in the common room about “At least we’re not talking to invisible people!” about a day or 2 before my discharge, I decided fuck the common room forever except when we had wellness groups.

Up until then I had actually been perfectly willing to socialize with the humans. In fact, on my first day in the hospital I had been laughing and joking around and watching TV with the humans. And then eventually, they started to shrug me off and get short with me everytime I said anything to them. And then finally, they decided to tell me, “See? You belong here. I don’t.” And then that was it. I told them “I have to get treated like crap everywhere the fuck else. I am not going to put up with getting treated like crap here too” and stormed off. Of course this alerted the attention of a nurse, because everything at this hospital alerted the attention of a nurse. But instead of being a bitch with me about it she just asked me what was wrong and if I was okay, and comforted me when I told her what was going on. 

I’m still losing sleep over what it really means to have been one of the least normal people in a psych ward.

The only thing I liked about the hospital were the groups. Unfortunately, when I came in on the weekend, there were very few groups. But when Monday hit, the entire day became filled with group after group after group. These were wellness groups, about managing your various conditions without being condition-specific, and it was like some kind of sorcery how the social workers could figure out how to manage every condition all under the same veil when mental conditions are so diverse. My favorite was the “Hope Spiral,” where we had to draw a spiral and then draw or write things in the spiral that gave us hope or got us through the day or made us feel better in general. I made a big spiral and wrote in what I find to be the most relatable lyrics in Quiet’s Theme from MGS5, one of my all-time favorite videogame songs:

Love hurts so bad

But still saved my soul

Flowers of a brighter past

They bloom so free beneath the sun...

The groups were honestly the kind of thing I had been looking for the whole time--a team of humans working with me both individually and as part of a group (since it was a team, there was a lot of time for the kind of individual, one-on-one work and support that I had been longing for ever since I was a teenager) to address things that needed to be addressed, in ways that went beyond just sitting in an office and talking. Groups had different activities and methods beyond just talking. Which is great, because I honestly hate “just talking,” due to my inability to actually talk like a person (I do NOT talk like you see me write here. I talk in fragments and broken words and monosyllables and mixed-up tones). I need to play a game or do an art project or write a story or copy lyrics down to get my points across in any sort of meaningful way. I attended every single group not only as part of my many-step plan to convince the doctors I didn’t need to be there anymore, but because I genuinely enjoyed the work and interaction with the care team. When I wasn’t with my soulbonds, I was with them. 

The care team was another part of the hospital that I actually liked and appreciated. For the very first time in my entire life, I had an entire team of humans right there on call, ready and willing to assist in any way I needed them to. This had never happened to me before, and proved to be one of the most valuable resources I had ever had in my life. Most of the time I spent with them was simply because I was anxious--I was cut off entirely from everything I cared about, besides my soulbonds, my routine had been not only disrupted but completely and forcibly changed into a totally different routine, the rules and regulations at this place made little to no sense whatsoever and were not explained to me at all beyond, “It’s protocol, sorry,” I had none of my machines with me and instead had humans in place of them, where humans had never been before. I was terrified most of the time, and thankfully there was always some nurse or some social worker or other there to help quell that terror. They did not work against my soulbonds, nor did my soulbonds work against them, but rather, when my soulbonds saw me getting seized by terror and anxiety that they themselves couldn’t quell (as, without our tech, they were very limited on tools and resources for that), they would tell me to go see if I could talk to one of the nurses. When I wasn’t in group though, I was generally a nervous fucking wreck. 

I was discharged after 5 days, even though they initially wanted to keep me for 7. I was set up with a psychiatrist and two outpatient programs, one for during the school term and one for when school is out. And you have no idea how fucking grateful I am for both of  them. All I EVER wanted was a place to go, where I could work with humans who knew how to work with me and where I could be away from my Dad’s wife. I had called the hotline specifically because I wanted someone to take my dad’s wife away, or take me away from her (though I didn’t want that to mean “5 days in a hospital.” I had wanted it to mean what they finally gave me AFTER the 5 days in a hospital). Now they were finally going to do that, and give me my very own place to be surrounded by my very own care team of humans for 2 hours a day after school, 3-4 hours a day when school’s out. So really, good things DID come out of what was otherwise a pretty nasty experience for me. 

Not only that, but my father is finally seeking out therapy for himself and his wife. Because my ending up in the hospital was the final reality check that I’d been trying to give him for years. 

[gcldxnbcy]

before the storm || c x j

TAGGING ; jace wayland herondale & clary fairchild

LOCATION ; the new york institute

Jace felt a little lost from his place behind the inquistor’s former desk - the desk of the head of the new york institute. it felt like it had only bee minutes ago before she’d informed him that he’d been placed in charge temporarily and that she was needed elsewhere. in her absence, and the absence of both aldertree and lydia branwell, he’d been the obvious choice. his insistence that ALEC was the best - and only - man for the job had been met on deaf ears. so now here he stood, paperwork piled up in front of him, and he wondered - not for the first time - what finding out the truth about his parentage would mean for him. before it had felt like a curse, an ALBATROSS looped around his neck, weighing him down, and now the responsibility of being a herondale - while enlightening - was reminiscent of the weights of former. thankfully a knock at the door distracted him from his thoughts and he called out for them to come in, straightening up and then visibly relaxing when he saw that it was just clary. a familiar face was a R E L I E F .

clary a lot had happened while she was gone. simon had found out - and really, that was on her ( she should’ve told him - why didn’t she ? ), and apparently jace was a herondale. a HERONDALE. as in shadowhunter royalty herondale. a fact she’d only found when she’d re-entered the institute, after being called back, fearing the worst. making her way to the office, the mantle held by some many ( 2 of which had betrayed them - pardon her paranoia ), she knocks on the door. opening it and seeing jace - sat a desk. “hey.” she leans against the door briefly, before closing it. not sure if she should address the unspoken, instead opting for the simple - “how are you doing? with everything? news travels fast in the shadow-world.”

Jace knew it was a loaded question. if anyone knew what it was like to have your world turned upside down overnight, it was clary. in typical jace fashion, however, he didn’t let the clouded haze of his thoughts bleed into his facial expressions. “i’m processing.” he replied simply, moving away from the desk and crossing over to her. it felt odd sitting behind the desk ; like he didn’t belong. he was a S O L D I E R , not a politician. everyone with a brain knew than alec was better suited for the job than he was. “i told the inquisitor that it should have been alec. i didn’t ask for the job - i don’t even want it.” and that was the worst part, wasn’t it? alec had killed himself for this job, to earn the respect of the clave, and it had been handed to H I M with nary a thought. he didn’t blame his parabati for being discouraged, even angry. it was understandable. “but we have bigger things to worry about, like two dead shadowhunters.”

clary with her experience of being valentine’s daughter, and then jace’s sister, and then no longer jace’s sister ( and somewhere along the way her father had indirectly murdered her mother ) - she knew what it was like for one’s life to be upheaved. noticing the ring now hanging from his neck, she could only assume she’d missed a lot. and she had no idea how to approach comforting him, considering their fluctuating relationship status. reaching up one hand to his shoulder and letting it rest there. just silent comfort. “i didn’t want to be a shadowhunter at first. but we grow and change and - circumstances change.” she takes a breath, and her eyes go wide. “wait - TWO dead shadowhunters? what happened? is it the circle? i thought the members were disbanding without valentine.”

Jace nodded grimly. while he appreciated clary’s efforts to comfort him, there was a time and place for such things and with shadowhunters getting their runes carved out? This W A S N ‘ T it. everything else would take a back seat. “they just brought them in. stratham and levifold; i trained with them, grew up with them. it wasn’t shadowhunters that did this – it couldn’t be.” It made him sick, thinking of their mutilated bodies with runes removed. no shadowhunter would do something like this, not even a circle member. “they were killed by downworlders.. a vampire bite, and wolf claws.” there was no telling just what – exactly – had spurned these attacks but jace had a feeling they weren’t over. not by a long shot. “..if downworlders are killing shadowhunters, that’s an act or war.”

clary “oh my god. - jace, i’m so sorry.” ever a new tragedy, a new threat. if it wasn’t valentine, it was the clave’s newest audit. if it wasn’t the clave, it was the downworld apocalypse they’d tried so hard to prevent coming to light. and it had happened anyway - despite their many new brushes with death, murderous and otherwise. “but we can’t assume all the downworlders are involved in this. they’re good people - like simon, and luke, and maia.” she crosses her arms over her chest. “do we know anything else?”

Jace crossed his arms loosely over his chest. the inquisitor’s words burned through him and spilled out from between his lips, though he wasn’t E N T I R E L Y sure he believed them. “right now, everyone’s a suspect, clary. shadowhunters are dead, we can’t be too careful. you && I both know that simon, maia, luke, they wouldn’t hurt anyone.” he straightened up. “we’ll get them to submit to dna testing, just to clear them. “ it was the only thing that made sense, wasn’t it? covering their bases, ensuring there was no room for speculation? “luke’s already here, he’s being tested downstairs.”

clary none of this settled with her. not the murdered shadowhunters but - dna testing their friends? “you brought luke in?” there was always a spark of righteous, or what what she believed to be righteous, indignation coursing through her. waiting for an opportunity to be given into once more. crossing her arms a little tighter over her chest. “jace - you’re not serious about this. i know you and simon haven’t always gotten along but - he’s not a killer. and how are you planning to bring all of the downworlders in brooklyn to the institute?”

Jace didn’t back down, only his jaw clenching in the slightest as any sort of a reaction. “luke agreed to come in to clear his name. no one wants another uprising, clary.” it’s true, he knows it’s true, and while the clave might take some extreme precautions, it was a necessary evil. “simon lewis wouldn’t hurt a kitten.” jace responded with a snort, eyes rolling – albeit fondly. while he wasn’t a huge fan of clary’s best friend-turned-boyfriend, of that he was sure. “but it’s not about what I know or what you know.. this is bigger than the two of us.” he withdrew from his pocket the prototype from R&D, extending one of them out to her. as he did so, his pocket vibrated. he didn’t know yet, but another body had been found.. this one slain by the blade of a seelie knight. “this will enable GPS tracking chips. it’s quick, painless, and will exonerate anyone who I S N ‘ Tguilty of any crime. no one will need to come in. look, I get it, you’re new to this… the clave might seem harsh but it’s for their protection as much as it is for ours.”

clary an eyebrow raising as she takes the object that’s extended to her, running her thumb over it in an attempt to deduce what it is. and looking up at jace with wide eyes at the explanation. “tracking chips?” scoffing indignantly as she lays the prototype down on the table. “so we’re herding the downworlders like pets now?” just because the downworlders have more demon blood than us, she wants to quip. prejudice is universally the same - in the mundane world, the shadow-world, the downworld. everyone is just so afraid all the time. “ THIS is how you start an uprising, jace.”

Jace safely tucked the tracking device into his pocket as he shook his head. she didn’t understand – how could she? “it’s accountability. we can be tracked by our runes; it’s the same concept. just trust me, you’ve been a shadowhunter for five minutes. they know what they’re doing.” he reminded her, glancing down at his phone when it buzzed again. his stomach sank when he saw the flashing alert; it was never anything good. “come on.” there was no time to argue with her as he grabbed his seraph blade, quickly leaving the office and heading out into the apex. there were people scattered everywhere huddled around their phones and his eyes scanned the room for his grandmother. spotting her over by another gurney, his stomach flipped. that sick feeling still sunk over him even after when he’d confirmed that it wasn’t alec or izzy – wasn’t his family. someone important to him. “still think this is a bad idea?” he grit out, eyes flashing as he straightened up, back ramrod straight. gaze turned to clary as if to say ’ SEE? ’ - voice low, barely a murmur. “how many people need to die before you get it?”

clary “five minutes -” she starts, before her phone buzzes too. a simple alert. she knows what this means - the institute is going into crisis mode. another body’s been discovered. walking out with him, she grabs her small seraph blade from where she stored it in her belt, walking out with jace. and it was just as she expected - another body. their runes stripped, apparently by the work of a seelie blade. it’s a gruesome sight, and it does command some empathy. but she stands her ground -

the downworlders were innocent apart from a fringe group. mass fearmongering was not the answer. she doesn’t appreciate jace’s pointed glance - matching it with her own. “how many times have shadowhunters said that emotions do nothing for us and still live in fear? downworlders can be peaceful.” she keeps her voice low. “so yes, jace, i still think this is a bad idea.”

Jace the time for conversation was over. the inquisitor had given her orders and arguing wasn’t much of an option. his back was straight and his chest tight, such as it usually was whenever imogen herondale was around. he could still remember the icy look in her eyes and how it had T H A W E D when she’d realized who he was. she was his family. for someone who’d changed last names three times in the span of a summer it was a relief to finally have some answers; to know who he was supposed to be. herondales were resolute and they were firm, and he wanted to prove that he was W O R T H Y of being one – that he was worthy of that pride she was so sure his parents would have had in him. yet that pride took on an acidic taste as simon was locked away in prison, maia accused of murder, and yet another shadowhunter body turning up dead. it was only after imogen had left that he felt like he could breathe again – that the expectations of being a herondale, of proving he was more than the monster valentine had been bound and determined to create, had shifted off of his shoulders. he’d just arrived back at the institute and had slipped into his room as he tugged his shirt off, lobbing it into a laundry basket as he ran his fingers through his hair. prove it, she’d challenged, prove that you’re not in love with clary. && with every bruising kiss against her lips, every roll of his hips and scratch of his nails, he’d done just that. hadn’t he? it hadn’t meant anything, yet he still felt as if she’d come out of things with the upper hand. it was a disconcerting feeling. a sigh dragged out between chapped lips as he moved to leave the room, faltering when he nearly crashed into someone in the hallway. clary. “huh. I figured you’d be with your boyfriend.” while his words are matter of fact, there’s no inflection behind them; it’s simply an observation. he might not like simon all the time but he makes clary happy and that, jace can’t begrudge him. he can’t begrudge any of them a spark of happiness, not with the past few weeks they’ve had.

clary time moved irreconcilably fast in the shadow-world. bodies were dropped, and threats were made, and revelations were every other day. and it was exhausting. not the kind of sweat prickling down her back, physical exhaustion - although it was coupled with that too. the kind of ‘sometimes i don’t want to get out of bed’ exhaustion. because some days, despite the pace of the shadow-world, move uncharacteristically slowly. dragged out in suffering and longing and uncertainties until the eventual conclusion of the latest threat - until they can all breathe easy again. perhaps for just a night, or just a few hours, but it’s enough. today had been one of those days. she’d thought that she should stay in the institute tonight, in light of everything, and that simon would be fine without her. and she, in turn, would be fine without simon. ( it was also, selfishly, out of the desire to just be alone for a while. alone with her thoughts in the dark until she fell asleep. ) walking tiredly down the halls of the institute, she finds herself narrowly missing a collision with jace. she was quite literally exhaustion on her legs. “you could say we agreed to be apart tonight. it’s been a really long day. for both of us.” she cracks a tired smile. “how are you doing with everything? i didn’t see you at the showcase.” a stupid question really. especially after their day, and the recent revelations.

Jace wondered if the exhaustion etched onto her features reflected his own. while today might not have been a battle, it hadn’t been a V I C T O R Y either. seven shadowhunters were dead; seven families devastated with no sense of justice or absolution in sight. their murderer was dead and wouldn’t be tried for her crimes. kaelie. a shudder washed over him. he’d always thought that he’d been a good judge of character but he was starting to think otherwise. she was a murder. but then again, so was he. “a bar filled with downworlders all itchingto take a bite out of me?” he raised his eyebrows. “pass.” hands came up to run through his hair, all too aware that he had forgotten to grab his shirt on the way out. the training room wouldn’t have cared; present company, however, he couldn’t speak to. “I’m fine. we’re shadowhunters – it’s business as usual.”

clary hadn’t known kaelie - the murderer, seemingly found hanging over max lightwood with a knife to his angelic rune. she makes a mental note to ask if izzy’s okay later, how she’s handling it, seeing her little brother like that - she knows how the fear of losing someone in your family, someone you love, can immobilise you in it’s permanence. ( especially when the number is dwindling. ) “they’ll realise that it wasn’t your fault, one day. you have maia on your side now.” as she had been there when simon and maia had been released, at her own insistence, she knew that it was impossible for all downworlders to resent jace for an atrocity he didn’t set out to commit. he set out to save them all. it was VALENTINE . valentine was to blame. they had to see that one day - maybe when the dust started to settle. only now noticing jace’s attire, or lack thereof - only assuming that he’d sought out to do what all good shadowhunters did without fail; take refuge in training. push down emotions. “being a shadowhunter doesn’t mean you can’t be a human being, jace.” the age old debate of emotions. strength or weakness? help or hinderance? it was so destructive not to feel - despite how much of a hypocrite that makes her.

Jace had heard the same argument made countless times. it wasn’t your fault. you couldn’t have know. sure, he might not have, but that didn’t change things. it didn’t change how he felt; it couldn’t. “it doesn’t matter whose fault it was. I’m the reason their friends, their family, are dead. it’s not something you just get over.” a shrug accompanies his words. if the situations were reversed, he’d probably feel the same kind of anger. when it comes to the people he loves, logic goes out the window. “we lost a lot of good people today; people I’ve known my whole lif, trained with. just because I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve doesn’t make me inhuman.” he’s tired, maybe more-so than he even realized, and there’s not much else he can say. “i’m a soldier, we’re in the middle of a war. if i let my emotions get the best of me, people would get hurt. I wouldn’t be able to do my job. ” more people. people his job it was to protect. “maybe emotions aren’t a weakness, but they’re not going to bring them back either.”

clary the whole situation is devastating. jace’s innocence, and his guilt, and how he was right in some manner - emotions weren’t going to bring those shadowhunters back. they weren’t going to bring the downworlders back that valentine slaughtered either. ( they weren’t going to bring her mother back. ) and no verbal response quite seems adequate - she’s familiar with this displacement approach to blame. although never as severe as jace’s current situation, sometimes she was blamed for her father’s actions. or treated as an accessory to them simply because she shared his blood. her runes weren’t working - she had to be lying. she went to the iron sisters - she was clearly involved in some evil plot by extension of her father. and so she takes comfort in doing one of these few things that came naturally to her these days. taking careful steps towards jace, until she’s standing close in front of him, and wrapping her arms around him. and maybe he’d push her off, or act as though he was fine. but if this helped - even for a moment, in her eyes, it would be worth it. “i’m sorry.” for everything, in extension. for being the catalyst, for the dead shadowhunters, for the soul-sword - for everything.

Jace only realized after clary’s arms had circled around him that they hadn’t been this close to each other in weeks. not since valentine’s revelations – the first time, not the most recent, not since he’d convinced himself that loving her, W A N T I N G her, made him weak and challenged everything he believed in. even when he’d thought that she was his sister, he’d never seen her in that light. she’d always been something more and he’d hated himself for not being able to look past it. now things had changed; she wasn’t his sister, he didn’t have to feel bad for the way he felt { had felt } about her. yet even in its change, there was hesitancy. his hands clenched into fists at his side, unsure if he’d even remembered to breathe as he caught a whiff of her shampoo. emotions are a weakness. clary is your weakness. his subconscious mocked him as his arms loosened from their rigid state, wrap carefully around her – as if she might turn to ash beneath his fingers like most B E A U T I F U L things he’s ruined. “me too.” he murmured, grip tightening so slightly that it would be hard to notice unless you were paying attention. he was hurting, but so was she; misery always did love its company.

clary when his static, stoic posture remained as she’d hugged him - she feared she’d made a terrible mistake. her nature was tactility - to comfort through touch, like her mother always had when she scraped her knee on the steps leading up to the loft. and kissed her goodnight - told her to have sweet, oh so mundane dreams. but jace’s nature, it had become apparent, was quite different. between valentine and the shadowhunter culture - it didn’t surprise her. but it did upset her. that they felt emotions were something to be fought, to be feared because of the havoc they could bring in their conquer. and with their situation - their always uncertain relationship status, seemingly forced comforts after they’d been so unsure of where they stood ( lovers to siblings to friends ? ) - a hug should be out of bounds. ( but that defied her nature . ) when his arms start to move, and wrap around her, she regards it as the only victory of the day. this was progress. it had to be. standing there quietly, in his hold ( that tightened gradually - another small victory ) , it was like the day could finally come to an end.

[hairterminator]

http://blog.hair-terminator.com/charming-outlook/

23 Expert Hair Care Tips For Men

#http://blog.hair-terminator.com Given that hair is technically dead (in as much as it has no blood, nerves or muscles), it’s surprising how much TLC it requires to look its best. And it’s not just the actual strands that need care and attention – the scalp does too. So how can you deal with

#http://blog.hair-terminator.com

Given that hair is technically dead (in as much as it has no blood, nerves or muscles), it’s surprising how much TLC it requires to look its best. And it’s not just the actual strands that need care and attention – the scalp does too.

So how can you deal with hair-raising problems like greasiness, breakage and product build-up? What’s the best way to tackle a thinning thatch? And how on earth do you find a decent barber that doesn’t cost it?

We’ve gathered 23 experts in the field – from award-winning hairdressers to grooming savants – to provide the answers to all these questions and more.

Switch To Matte Products If Thinning

“For many men, hair thins out as they hit their thirties and forties,” says Belfast-based grooming expert and barber Jason Shankey. “To make it look thicker and more manageable, use a matte styling paste or clay. Matte products absorb light and instantly make hair appear a little thicker.”

(Related: How To Make Thinning Hair Look Thicker)

Give Yourself An Egg Wash

“The best tip I ever received for looking after hair came from an old aunt of mine,” says international model, actor and TV presenter Paul Sculfor. “You may laugh, but it’s to wash your hair in eggs once a month for the protein.”

Pick The Right Moment For A Haircut

To get the undivided attention of a barber or stylist, timing is everything. “Most salons are quieter at the beginning and end of the day, so it’s worth asking for the very first or last appointment,” says British Hairdressing Award winner Anita Cox. Go for the former and your stylist is likely to be at their freshest and most enthusiastic too.

(Related: Tips From Barbers On Getting The Most Out Of Your Hair Appointment)

Use A Pre-Styling Product

As true a saying in the bathroom as it is in the bedroom: it’s not all about the big finish. In the case of hair, TJ Hunt, a barber at Ruffians’ Shoreditch outpost in London, suggests laying a base layer before adding paste, pomade or wax.

“Guys often know exactly what products to use to ‘finish’ a style,” he says. “However, they commonly miss the vital element of adding a pre-styler when the hair is damp. Mousses, sea salt sprays and even serums can have a real impact on the finished style when used correctly.”

Less Is Often More

“One of the biggest mistakes men make when it comes to hair styling is using too much product,” says barber Lachlan Watson, from the Covent Garden branch of Murdock in London.

“A little can go a long way and if you use products sparingly you’ll find yourself sporting a more natural look while avoiding a heavy and greasy appearance.”

(Related: 7 Common Men’s Hair Mistakes)

Apply Shampoo To Dry Hair To Remove Wax

Fan of hair wax but struggle to get it out of your hair? Here’s a great tip from Head & Shoulders style director Michael Douglas.

“The best way to deal with wax is to apply shampoo to dry hair and rinse, then follow this with another application of shampoo. You’ll find that this method helps to breakdown the product and leave hair clean.”

Pat Dry, Don’t Rub

We men tend to think that the harder we rub our hair after washing the quicker it’ll dry. In reality, an over-zealous towel drying technique will just cause breakage – especially bad news if your hair already isn’t quite as thick as it used to be.

“Hair tends to be weaker when wet (and hence more prone to damage) so don’t rub too hard,” warns Ben Skervin, who has worked on campaigns for the likes of River Island, H&M and Bally. “Instead, pat dry to avoid putting any extra stress on it.”

(Related: How To Make Your Hair Last Longer)

Chill Out

In the same way that your teeth are only as good as your gums, your hair is only as good as your scalp, so Linda Frawley, senior master at Charles Worthington, suggests looking after it.

“Regular stress can tighten the scalp and cause hair thinning. To de-stress and boost circulation to the scalp, ensuring healthy hair growth, think about getting regular, stimulating head massages.”

Avoid Over-Washing

According to barber and men’s grooming expert Carmelo Guastella, a common mistake men make with dry and coarse hair is over-washing it.

“If that’s your hair type, limit washing to once or twice a week and always apply a conditioner,” he advises. “Washing it every day will just make it even drier. If you reduce washing and use a conditioner, the result will be smoother, healthier looking hair.”

Don’t Fiddle With Greasy Hair

If you have greasy growth on top of your head, it’s always a good idea to avoid using hot water. However, according to Nicholas Clayton, author of A Butler’s Guide to Gentlemen’s Grooming, how you handle your hair is just as important.

“Don’t scrub and rub like mad; this only serves to further activate oil producing sebaceous glands that are already overactive,” he says.

(Related: 8 Tips For Dealing With Oily Skin)

Protect Hair When In The Pool

As any regular swimmer knows, chlorine can play havoc with hair. “Chlorine chemically bonds with the proteins in the hair and causes the cuticle (the hair’s protective outer layer) to lift, which makes hair dry, brittle and dull,” says legendary hairdresser Trevor Sorbie.

To minimise chlorine’s effects, Sorbie recommends wetting hair thoroughly with clean water before swimming, as this dilutes the chemical. Or try applying a small amount of conditioner before diving in.

Forget The Comb-Over

“If you’re losing your hair a short, cropped style is the best option,” advises celebrity stylist Oliver Woods, who’s tended the tresses of everyone from Robbie Williams to Jude Law. “Keeping it shorter at the sides and longer on top is a good idea too, as it draws attention away from the thinning areas.”

(Related: 5 Steps To Take If You’re Losing Your Hair)

Keep It Cool

It may be tempting to put the wind up your hair with a dryer set on maximum heat, but according to Asgar Saboo, style director at the Daniel Galvin salon in London’s Mayfair, wherever possible you should allow hair to dry naturally. Or, at the very least, change the setting to low.

“If using a dryer, don’t overdo it, as this will leave the hair frizzy and damaged,” he warns. “Instead, set the dryer on the ‘cool’ mode. It might be a bit more time-consuming, but it’ll help keep the hair in good condition.”

Look To The Kitchen Cupboard For Shiny Hair

“Many store-bought and professional shampoos, conditioners and styling products not only build up on the hair but the scalp too,” says top hairdresser Denis Robinson, who has a novel suggestion for dealing with product build up.

“Once a month wash hair with a small amount of washing up liquid,” he says. “Do this twice and let the second one sit for a minute or two. Then, after rinsing thoroughly, douse the hair with household vinegar, to restore the Ph balance, and rinse again. This will make the hair shiny and freshens up the scalp, leaving it clean and healthy.”

Manage Yo ‘Fro

Like all types of hair, afro locks come with their own unique set of requirements – so it pays to build an arsenal of the right tools.

“Without a doubt, you must always invest in an afro comb or else grooming will be very painful,” says the master barber at Ted’s Grooming Room. “An afro comb’s teeth are specifically designed to detangle large clumps of curly hair that no other brush or comb can. We also suggest using a conditioner at least once a week to lock in moisture, especially at the ends.”

(Related: 50 Of The Coolest Men’s Black & Afro Hairstyles)

Skip The Cold Showers

“Cold rinses actually constrict the blood capillaries in the scalp,” says renowned trichologist Philip Kingsley, author of The Hair Bible. “These tiny blood vessels carry nutrients and pick up waste products from the skin’s surface and need to be active for optimum effect; suddenly constricting them with cold water does the hair no good at all.”

Check Your Barber’s Windows

“If you can’t see the guys inside a barbershop getting their hair cut, keep walking – they may have something to hide behind those nets and grime,” says Robert Johnston, director of The Gentleman’s Shop in Hungerford, Wiltshire, who’s been in the business for nearly 30 years.

“Good places advertise what’s going on inside.”

(Related: 12 Ways To Spot A Bad Barber)

Spray To Play

“If you want to ramp up the styling product you normally use, pop a squirt or two of a traditional dry hairspray into the palm of your hands, rub together and tease into the finished texture,” says Gavin Cornwell of The King’s Canary hair salon in London’s Fitzrovia.

“This adds a little more hold and texture to your usual style.”

Loosen Up

“If thinning, always pat hair dry rather than rub it. Rubbing hair can cause friction, which leads to breakage,” says celebrity hair stylist Diane C Bailey. “For extra care, use a soft cotton T-shirt as opposed to a towel to help further reduce friction.”

“If possible, try to avoid tight hats for the same reason. Hair rubs against the thread of the hats which pulls to breaking point and damages the cuticle, [hindering regrowth].”

Carry A Comb

Unless using industrial strength cement, all hair products benefit from a slight touch up throughout the day, especially before swapping the boardroom for the bar. But carry around a miniature pot of gel and expect to be ridiculed.

“Here is a cheeky hair tip for fellas on the go: always carry a comb with you,” says Paul Burfoot, founder of Fish barbers in Soho, London. “In the event of a hair crisis, most styling products can be reactivated by wetting a comb and running it through your barnet to re-style.”

Talk It Over With A Barber

There are plenty of tell-tale signs for spotting a bad barber. But Joe Mills of London barbers Joe and Co believes one more than any is a dead giveaway. “If they don’t make time to properly talk to you about what you want, then get out of the chair.”

To make the process easy, especially when changing up your style or visiting a new barber, Mills advises going armed with all the necessary information. “Take a couple of pictures on your phone of what you like, and what you don’t like. That way you have a starting point to work from. You want a barber to recommend products and also styling tips, so you know how to do what he/she does. This is all part of the service.”

(Related: Men’s Hairstyle Inspiration Gallery)

Go With The Flow

As any man with a cowlick or widows peak will attest, it’s far better to work with the hair than against it. The same rule applies even without a noticeable hair quirk.

“If you wear your hair in a side parting, it’s always best to do so on the side your crown lies on, as this is where it will naturally want to part and will make styling a lot easier,” says Brent Pankhurst, owner of London barbershop Pankhurst.

(Related: 4 Men’s Hair Quirks – And How To Fix Them)

Watch Your Mouth

What goes in your mouth affects your sideburns just as much as it does your six pack. While stocking up on individual supplements can quickly become an expensive habit, a multivitamin is an easy route to top notch locks.

“Thinning hair is an ever-increasing problem, especially with the nation now experiencing more stress, longer working hours and perhaps less focus on a healthy balanced diet,” says Nioxin ambassador Kay McIntyre. “I would always start any consultation with a recommendation for better vitamin intake, particularly zinc and vitamins C and D.”