#on my hands and knees. i didn't do as good a job of bracketing as i thought for side b...

[just-some-guy-joust]

Link at least didn't lose by the largest margin (he got 26.6% and Han Solo was 26.5%) proud of my boy

AISUDHAIULSDHAILUDHASIUD WE TAKE THE TINY VICTORIES LETS GOOOOOO

[ebongawk]

"Just Chrissy comforting Eddie through something" for @kirasometimess

(I actually wrote this before, but it was serious so I'm gonna make this one more lighthearted 😘😘)

The door banged open, startling Chrissy and making her slosh her tea onto the blanket she was wrapped in. Squeaking out a little, "Oh, nuggets," she set the mug aside and stood up to greet her boyfriend.

"Hey!" she said, waving from beside the couch as Eddie kicked the door closed behind him as aggressively as he'd kicked it open. "You're home early!"

A grumble was his only response. Eddie shrugged out of his jacket, letting it drop to the floor as he toed off his shoes. He paused, looking down at the crumpled leather as though it had personally offended him, before letting out a heavy sigh and swooping down to grab it. Hanging it up beside her tea coat on the wall rack.

"Long day?" she asked, weaving her way through their eclectic spread of belongings – his guitar stands, her knitting supplies, their overflowing shared bookshelf – and standing just beside the entryway.

"Longest fuckin' day of my stupidly long life," he huffed, bending down to press a kiss to her cheek before stepping around her and heading for the bedroom.

Chrissy pattered behind him, watching amusedly as he fell face-first onto their bed. He let out a low, muffled groan.

"Take it the new drummer wasn't up to snuff?"

The groan, which had never really quieted, grew louder against their mattress.

"Did you kick him out, or did Jeff?"

Eddie shook his head. Still face down, and she had to wonder how he could even breathe.

"Grant?"

A nod that tangled his hair against the sheets. Chrissy stuffed a laugh into her elbow, trying to disguise it as a cough, and Eddie rolled himself enough to send a single glaring eye her direction.

"S'not funny," he mumbled. "At this rate, I'm gonna have to pick up more stupid shifts at my stupid corporate job."

Chrissy hummed, gliding across the room and hoisting herself onto the bed. She shuffled up, bracketing her knees on either side of his hips and sitting down on his lower back.

Eddie worked as a part-time mechanic for a chain company that worked on small engine maintenance. He mostly did oil changes and tune-ups, and she knew he didn't hate it, but he also only worked enough to pay half their bills and rent studio space for Corroded Coffin practices. Which was perfectly fine – Chrissy made plenty to cover the rest. Eddie had supported her fully while she was in school. It was the least she could do to return the favor as he chased his dream.

"The horror of having to work full-time like a real adult," she mused. Eddie wiggled, halfheartedly trying to buck her from her new throne, and Chrissy giggled. Her hands fisted in his t-shirt like horse reins, waiting until he calmed down before she began gently massaging his shoulders.

"I don't wanna," he whined, burying his face in their comforter. "Why did stupid Gareth have to go and get his girlfriend pregnant. 'Oh, sorry guys, I know the label is finally sniffing around after our latest demo, but I knocked El up and gotta quit.' Who does that?"

"Someone who has to take new responsibilities into account after their priorities change," Chrissy responded, grinning when Eddie gradually began to relax under her touch. The stiffness in his shoulders easing with the gentle but firm rolls of her palms into his spine.

"Rude," Eddie huffed. "It's like he didn't think at all of how this would make me feel."

"How dare he," Chrissy agreed sarcastically.

"I know you're joking, but–– fuck that feels good," he moaned, adjusting until he was sprawled like a starfish beneath her touch. "But, Christ, it's like we've been doing all this shit for the past decade for nothing."

"You recorded your first demo in Jeff's garage when you were sixteen," Chrissy retorted. "I know that's technically a decade, but I don't think it counts."

"Ugh," Eddie grunted, his bucking wiggle even less effective than the last one. "Leave me alone to rot, Cunningham."

"What if I," she began, curling over his back and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "become a Chrissy Backpack instead!"

Nose pressed against his nape, she inhaled his familiar scent. Rugged and pine and a hint of sweat from playing in the studio all day. It was her favorite smell. She wanted to figure out how to make a candle out of it and take it to work so she could smell Eddie all day long.

"You know you're going to do great things, right?" she asked him after a moment. "That label would be ludicrous not to pull you guys in. And maybe they have an incredible drummer on hand who's just waiting for the perfect band to come along, and it's Corroded Coffin, and you bring Gareth back in the future for reunion tours but you also become great friends with the new drummer, and you get to be an amazing uncle to Gareth and El's little bean."

He sighed, but turned his head a little, displaying one open eye and his cheek. Giving Chrissy enough access to lean up and kiss it.

"And then I'll be able to quit my stupid corporate job and open up a craft store where I sell hand-knitted and crocheted goods, and I'll call it 'Corroded Crochet', so everyone knows I'm with you."

"What about the people who don't know us?"

"I'll be sure to inform them in depth, don't worry."

Eddie huffed a laugh beneath her, the sound making his ribs quake and his skin taste like happiness. After letting her play backpack for another minute, he suddenly rolled over, pinning her beneath his body. Her legs kicked out and the wind whooshed from her chest.

"Ack–– Eddie! I can't breathe!"

"Backpacks don't even have lungs, Cunningham."

"But I have legs!"

"Ow, fuck, sweetness, my poor tummy!"

"Revenge, Munson."

"But it's so empty already!"

"Does it want conciliatory Chinese food for dinner?"

"Shit, baby, I love you so goddamn much."

Chrissy screamed in delight when Eddie suddenly stood, keeping her attached to his back as he galloped into the living room. He grabbed the cordless phone, depositing her on the couch as he dialed their favorite takeout place.

"Hey, Eddie?"

She could hear the phone ringing through the line when he looked at her.

"I love you, too," she reminded him.

He smiled that huge, goofy grin that made her insides melt, eyes softening and head tilting to one side as he looked at her like he'd never seen anything quite as lovely in his life. Like he wanted to pounce on her, lay himself across the couch and hold her as close a physically possible. Just as he moved toward her – probably to do exactly that – the voice on the other end of the phone spoke louder.

"Hello? Ming's Chinese?"

"Oh, shit, uh. Yeah. Yes. Hello? Fuck, sorry, sorry. I, uh, wanna order takeout?"

Chrissy laughed all the way through his order.

(inspo ask 🥰)

[fishtails-nat1]

grading double life ships, shipnames, if any, added in brackets.

CANON PAIRINGS:

Ma'el/Pall'or (cultduo, sometimes maellor) the classic, they had chemistry day one. honestly not much more to say other than the fact that the players are on their hands and knees to stop the slowburn and let them fuck. bonus points for the intersting backstory weaving. 10/10

Eiwn/Miym very well done friendship to tragic love. the chemistry these two have is off the walls, like why are pep and cerin so good at doing these friends to lovers ships. the tragic family aspect and cool gods backstory stuff provides a really interesting dynamic. 10/10 i like the poem

RD/Alastrelle (no common tagname, but adding in one ive seen; "winnerduo" cause its funny as fuck) I didn't used to see it cause they had a slight roughness to their alliance but when alastrelle started getting darker vibes? ok yeah this is some cool corruption shit. RD has nothing to hold them back anymore either. i hope they win and kiss about it. 10/10

Luck/Lilly (tigerlilly, luckian) I think this one is actually just canon aside from pairing stuff? or its luck pining a lot, whatever. it's... it's hard to actually judge this one because pep can't actually play out them talking to one another, but y'know what yeah i like the vibes. me and my girlwife who hates people. me and my malewife who trips over roots. 8/10

NON-CANON PAIRINGS:

RD/Pall'or why is their friends with benefits energy off the CHARTS holy shit. RD has plans to kill him but the enemies to lovers energy could be fucking insane??? they have multiple plans to fuck?? the fact that pall'or knows every inch of their body?? 10/10 keeps that inappropriate workplace relationship going

RD/Eiwn they work really well as the weirdgirl/jockboy so I think it's pretty funny. yeah we gay keep scrolling! not a lot of substance anymore and tbh i've seen a lot of angst breakup fics following the latest events so.... yeah.... 6/10

Alastrelle/Luck from what I've seen, all the fics are entirely about the single conversation they've had. There's some further chemistry to be explored, but for now, I don't really see it. 4/10

Pall'or/Alastrelle the starboys... the lovers under the moon... I think they can be so wonderful or horrible for each other. i dont know why im saying this but hannigrm kind of. 7/10

Pall'or/Lilly HOOOOO boy theres a lot to be said when most of the fics under this are hurt no comfort and one-sided relationship. cool job speculating what the fuck happened between these guys. 9/10 because pallor would actually do that yeah

RD/Luck ok yeah again with the pathetic malewife who trips over roots and the cool strong one. I think the fact that RD does actually like luck feeds into this, it's pretty strong actually. 9/10

Pall'or/Luck ok half these noncanon ships involve them so its abt time! i don't have anything to add i just agree. 9/10 because they have yet to flirt in an insane way

Luciano/Cle'av i've seen some age discourse around this so no hate please im just doing rankings. we all love a consentual workplace relationship, especially on the dating death game show. 7/10

Ma'el/Luck once again dont mention the discourse pleaseeee luck said "oh i guess we're not then" in the same sentance after bringing up being related. yeah i think a dog and a cat can be lovers, if they try hard enough. more than anything i like the fact that theyre streetsmart vs booksmart vibe that pall and mael have too. 9/10

RD/Eiwn/Alastrelle polycule is always a win. i have small hope they'll meetup again to do more stuff like the bear bit, buttttt things arent going good. i miss these three 10/10

Ma'el/Pall'or/Luck ive said all that ive needed to say. 10/10