#omg omg omg who's that artist whose paintings are exactly this

[aturinfortheworse]

Like a William Robinson painting. I think this is Tallanbanna with cloud front, 1998.

The Path to Moria Gate Arch

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

omg

can we just *clear the air* for the writing prompts

hi this got stupid long mb lmao

javey brainrot is so fr rn

college roommates au in honor of they were roommates getting updated🙏🙏

so so sorry it took me a week to get to this lmao

Jack was about ready to scream. Davey had been gone for Shabbat for-in Jack's opinion-too damn long. He knew his roommate did this every week, but it didn't make the jarring loss of familiarity any better.

it was sunday morning; Dave was due back today, but not for another four hours at least, and Jack wanted to tear his hair out at the feeling in his chest of Davey being gone.

he had been-not pining, because that was pathetic, he told himself, just wishing his roommate would get home sooner-all weekend and he was ready to fall back into the familiar routine the two boys shared.

as he watched the second hand go around the cheap clock the two had found when they moved in, Jack decided to do something about all his nervous energy. jumping to his feet, he set up his paint covered easel in the corner of the room, and dug a canvas out of his closet, no thought in his mind as to what he wanted to paint.

standing in front of his threateningly blank canvas, jack picked at his cuticles, and then at the seam of his pants, and then brought his hand up to his mouth to bite his nails. the wide stretch of white was intimidating, daunting. and jack had no clue what to do about it.

shaking his head, he pulled out a few random colors and put them on the old shoebox lid he used as a pallet because the real ones are stupid expensive.

finally picking up a wide brush, he put it to the canvas, and blacked out into his "painting coma," as davey had affectionately dubbed it. it was all a blur of color, several dropped paintbrushes onto carpet and the subsequent curses that followed, and time seeming to drag on but at the same time flying away faster than a heartbeat.

nearly three hours later, jack emerged from his haze and blinked as he looked at his canvas.

it was a great collage of colors, swirling and mushing, each color blending perfectly with its neighbor, even if the two didn't exactly meld, jack had managed to coax them to be a beautiful mess.

and there, in the middle, was painted a pair of startlingly familiar blue eyes. the detail was immaculate, almost as if the artist had put an incredible amount of time studying said eyes.

jack groaned and buried his head in his hands, scraping his nails down his cheeks.

all of his paintings recently had included those eyes somewhere, or at least that very particular shade of cerulean. and jack hated it.

because he knew exactly whose stupidly blue eyes they were, and he didn't want to think of the implications of drawing them over and over. because that meant thinking about his feelings, and jack despised doing that, as all teenage and young adult boys do.

he dug the heels of his hands into his eyes before flopping onto his bed. he raised his head to look over at Davey's bed on the other side of the room, covers perfect and unrumpled. davey's half of the room was always either sparkling clean, or a disaster, and there was no in between, he almost always cleaned before he left for shabbat, and this time was no different; his books stacked neatly on his desk, pillows fluffed with the covers pristine, the top six inches of his blanket folded over. jack always teased him for it.

"s' like a hotel dude, kinda weird. like, who does that every single morning? bonkers." davey would get an embarrassed flush high in his cheeks, and stammer out a defense before jack slapped him on the back and told him he was joking. the pink in davey's cheeks was another thing that was a frequent visitor of jacks paintings, the light coral tube of paint nearly as empty as the sky blue one.

jack groaned, slamming his arms out onto the bed. he thought about the way davey's jaw set when he was mad, or focused, or how his eyes crinkled perfectly at the corners when he smiled, or the artistic slope of his nose, or-

his daydreaming was interrupted by footsteps nearing the door to their dorm.

leaping to his feet, jack snatched the canvas off the easel and shoved it back in the closet with the others just as the lock turned.

the familiar sight of davey's dark curls and the gentle slope of his shoulders made jack's heart feel like someone had stuck it in the microwave. the satchel slung over the shoulder of davey's sensible brown coat, the two buttons unbuttoned on his shirt, the jingle of his keys as he hung them on the hook by the door. it all felt so right to jack, like the world could spin again because davey was home.

as the other boy finally turned to face jack, he took a step forward. "howdy, dave." he said, opening his arms for a hug as davey set his bag down at the foot of his bed. a warm smile spread across davey's face as he sunk into jack's embrace, burying his head in the crook of the former's neck, and wow jack didn't want to think about what that could possibly mean as he wrapped his arms around the brunets waist.

"missed you," davey murmured into jack's neck. a low chuckle rumbled in jacks throat, even as a fond smile lit his face. "didja now? didn't know youse was so clingy, dave." he said, wrapping his arms tighter and rocking the two of them slowly.

davey hummed contentedly. "three days is a long time, though."

that got a real laugh out of jack, and if he pressed a kiss to the side of davey's head before he pulled out of the hug, who was to know but him?

"how's ya family? les still bein' a lil sheit?" jack put his hands on david's biceps, as if making sure he was still there. davey made a little chuff sound akin to a laugh, rolling his eyes fondly.

"like you wouldn't believe. Ama said he's got a 'date' with this girl in his class, Sally. 'pparently shes, and i quote, 'a real peach.'" davey's bright smile stretched across his face as jack threw his head back with a laugh. "That kid's too cocky for his own good, i tell ya." jack chuckled.

he patted davey's arms. "'nd how are you? feelin all religion-ed up?" dave snickered as he pushed his hand gently against jack's shoulder. "as much as i wanted to be, so no. its the same old crap about 'sin bad follow the book' and 'don't be a bad child or satan's going to eat your toes' and all that." he smiled, corners of his eyes crinkling in that way jack loved.

suddenly jack realized how close they were together, and how clear he could see all the details in those blue, blue eyes. swallowing thickly, he studied the flecks of green in them, and regretted not adding them to his earlier painting.

then suddenly he couldnt see them anymore, as davey was looking at something about a half inch below jacks nose. jack blinked, hesitantly putting a hand on davey's waist, bringing those blue irises back up to meet his.

"heya dave." he whispered.

"hi jackie," davey breathed back, almost breathless sounding. he glanced down again when jack's tongue flicked out to wet his lips.

their noses were almost touching, and they could feel the other's breath hot on their cheeks.

davey's phone rang. jack groaned as the other boy fumbled with his pocket to pull it out, stumbling backwards to sit on his bed. david answered the phone, face flushed and gaze averted from jacks.

"hi, papa, this really isn- yes- what? no, i didnt take it, ask les, you know he always does that. yeah. yeah, i know. ok. love you too papa." david hung up the phone, ears so red they were practically glowing as he turned to pick up his bag again.

jack was ready to explode again. "davey."

the brunet looked up, still pink.

"can we just-can we clear the air on somethin' here?" jack said, his knee bouncing slightly.

dave straightened up. "of-of course, jack." he shook his hands out, a sign he was nervous.

jack took a deep breath, psyching himself up. "what is this? to you?" he waved his hand vaguely between the two of them.

davey's eyes got wide as he started rocking side to side, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "i think-i think it's whatever you want it to be, jackie." he swallowed as jack stood back up and watched as the other boy started picking at his cuticles again as he approached.

"so if i wanted it to be somethin' a little more'n roomies n' friends, would you- would you be ok with that?" jacks voice wavered as he got closer.

" i think i would." dave's mind was racing, but he started smiling slightly. jack was less than two feet away from him now.

"really? you don't have to pity me, i know i ain't the best looker, if you wanted-" jack's whole expression spelled self doubt and uncertainty.

"will you just shut your stupidly pretty face and kiss me?" davey interrupted, cheeks red.

that was all the invitation jack needed to place a gentle hand on davey's cheek and press their lips together. david smiled into the kiss, placing his hands on jack's waist.

"you really think i'm pretty?" jack murmured against davey's lips. dave laughed and pulled back, bringing a hand up to flick jacks forehead lightly as he buried his face in the other's neck for the second time that day. jack smiled as he held his boy-his! his boy!-and brought a hand up to cradle the back of his neck.

"yeah, i do." david said into jack's shoulder, a stupid grin on his face.

whaaaat??? eel writing something that isn't some subcategory of angst??? what is this?????

yaaaay!! its over. unetided an all that jazz

[cottoncandyjester]

What would be your OCs ideal "meet-cute"? Like how did they plan to meet their darling in a way that would attract them to the boys? Or did it happen by pure coincidence?

love the ask! Prepare for chaos cause I like seeing them struggle

Also omg you gave a request Im so happy I think you're so cool and i like seeing you on my notifications so please like and request more stuff if you want to ahhhh💖-

This story contains: talk of stalking, yandere behavior, talk of sex (sorry it's prince...sex is always on his mind)

Theodore

Oh he's smart

He knows exactly how he wants to set up

He first saw you in your favorite bakery and from then on it was a done deal

His five years of stalking you has paid off

He knows almost everything at this point

He wanted it to be romantic and something out of a romance movie

But- he's still a bit of a dummy at times and it didn't go exactly how he wanted it to

He's played this out in his head about 100 times, he has done everything he has to in order to get everything to work out in his favor, so why did this have to happen?

His plan was to walk in ten minutes before you did at the bakery, he would pretend to be unsure of what to get then once you walk in he waits exactly two minutes before asking what exactly you would get sounding as lost and clueless as possible

out of the kindness in your heart you will respond and he will charm his way to getting your number, even though he already has it. That was the plan but you never did show up to the bakery so he panicked and went to your house to look for you

Were you kidnapped? Sick? What was going on?! He has rushed to your place now right infront of the door only for it to swing open and for you to crash into him falling ontop of him, okay?

You were frazzled and flustered, you must have woken up late. He looked at you and felt his cheeks turning red as you scrambled up and he picked up his glasses

"i-im so sorry! I just crashed into you i didnt see you"

This wasn't exactly how he expected it but he can use this, sure it wasn't the same but it was alright he can work with this.

"ah, it's quite alright. Though I'm sorry to say but my ankle isn't doing so well"

"holy shit, I'm sorry! So you need help?!"

You helped him up and as theodore leaned on you slightly he shuddered at the scent of you, absolutely delicious.

"sorry, I'm so rude I'm theodore"

"I'm the rude one here, it's [y/n]. do you live around here or something? I feel responsible so let me help by getting you home"

Theodore smiled and adjusted his glasses as he faked the pain in his ankle, it was a little embarrassing having to pretend to be pathetic but his first plan flew out the window and this was all he had left

"live just down the road, thank you for such kindness"

He smiled and knew that he wormed his way into your life, sure it wasn't how he wanted but he was in no rush.

Hikaru

He has to be careful

He's famous after all

He has an image to maintain so he can't be all creepy and stalk you

He pays people to do that

He first saw you at one of his photoshoot sites and he just couldn't help but fall

He really honestly just wants to walk up to you and say hi

But a crowd of people would be on him I minutes so maybe not

He decided to wear a hat and mask

He honestly is so self centered he just wanted to say hi and expected you to swoon

Hikaru adjusted the mask now walking into the book store where he saw you walk into just moments before, plan was to casually find you and bump into you before revealing himself and next thing you know you are jumping into his arms!

So he did just that, walked into the book store, saw you and "accidentally" bumped into you causing the book in your hand to fall

"oh I'm sorry, how clumsy of me"

"no no it's fine! Accidents happen y'know?"

Hikaru smirks before pulling down his mask while picking up the book, his eyes shining with a charming gaze as he looked at you

"how about I make it up to you with some yummy food"

"oh! You're that model from the magazines!"

Yeah baby now come jump into-

"that's sweet but I'm good it's truly fine"

Excuse me bitch?

Hikaru felt his body twitch now fighting the urge to turn his charming grin into a harsh scowl, what the actual hell!? Do you not see how hot he is?! God why the fuck did he fall in love with such a dumbass?!

"o-oh well, how about I pay for your book? I like this book as well so it's only fair"

"you like 'elmo goes to wonderland?'"

Hikaru twitched once more as he glanced down at the book you had dropped and felt his eye twitch with annoyance, why were you buying this?!

"it's for my friend's sister if you were wondering, if you're still up for it let's have that food I want some red bean buns!"

Okay..so that worked?!

Hikaru didn't understand why him being a total idiot wooed you but okay?!

"names [y/n] by the way, I'll let my friend know that you love elmo I'm sure she has more books for you"

Your joke wasn't funny and hikaru now wanted to kiss and strangle you at the same damn time. He feels so embarrassed but at the same time happy.....but the real thing he's thinking is why the hell did I fall for this idiot?!

Prince

Okay so he really just wanted to get into your pants

Like really wanted to get in there

Until he started to stalk you and saw how you acted

That's when he fell for you

He has no idea how to court anyone so he has no idea what the hell to do

This was a whole different game that he didn't know how to play

You were different than the strippers and party loving people he hangs with

You two met out of pure fate

Your friends were forcing you to go out for your birthday to a bar

The bar he worked at

His heart was about to burst

He wanted to say hi soooo bad but your friends were flirting with him hard

He figured if he got them drunk they will pass out

So he did exactly that while leaving you tipsy

He's been bartending for a while so he knows how to do this kinda stuff

Once he strikes up a conversation with you he's so happy

"so, you don't exactly look like one of my normal customers"

"what exactly does your normal customers look like?"

Prince grinned at you as he fixed you another drink before placing it infront of you, giving you a sly wink

"nothing like you doll face, you're too cute and I've never seen your face trust me I would remember a face like yours"

He prayed to God his flirting works cause that's the only trick he's got. He watched you laugh as you took a sip of your drink and he knew he wanted to marry you on the spot

"smooth, but you'll have to try a little harder than that"

"alright well, what's your name?"

"[y/n], why whose askin?"

Prince flashed a huge grin as he leaned down his arms rested against the bar as he eyed you up and down.

"prince is the name, so ever wanted to get behind a bar before?"

"won't you get into trouble for that?"

"I won't tell if you won't"

Sexual tension was HIGH

Prince was ready!

then..you fell asleep

Damn it he got you too drunk, with a long sigh he leaned back now feeling the biggest blue balls in his entire life, he decided it was time to take you home so he did exactly that.

Getting into your place was far too easy and he reminded himself that when you two stsrt dating he has to tighten security around here, he laid you in the bed before placing a soft kiss onto your cheek and leaving but not before writing his phone number and name on a napkin and placing it on your nightstand

Axis

Okay so I've talked about how dumb axis is

But he is like...reallllyyyyy dumb

Poor boy was so excited when he first met you before falling in love

He met you at an art store

He needed help on picking the right color and you popped up

Your voice made him giggle and your smell made him drool

He was in LOVE!

He wanted to meet you again

So he showed up at that art shop every single day listening for your voice and hoping to smell that amazing scent

After six months of actively going he almost given up..until

"excuse me, where are the paint buckets?"

"oh! Right this way!"

Axis perked up as he heard footsteps and the soft scent filling his nose, you! It was you! It had to be you! You were here!

He slowly followed your scent hearing you talk to the worker before hearing the worker's footsteps vanish, he was panicked! Did he look okay?! Did his eyes look weird?! He made sure to wear his sunglasses but they weren't all too tinted..what if you see his weird fish eyes!

All this panicking made him start to shake and he soon heard a voice break him out of it

"excuse me, are you okay?"

He tensed up and snapped his attention onto that voice, that angel of a voice. That voice that could make him do anything it could ever want, you were infront of him and he loved it

"y-yeah! Sorry! I'm just panicking cause I don't know which paint to buy, being blind has its limits haha"

"oh, well I can help if you need?"

He gave an excited nod and you did exactly that just like you did six months ago, it was magical

"what do you need paint for?"

"oh I just moved into a new place"

You moved? He didn't know that, he doesn't know anything about you, he wants to know everything

"oh, well I'm an artist haha, weird yeah?"

"well I don't think it's that weird, it's actually really impressive"

Dontcrydontcrydontcry-

Axis held in every tear he could as he decided to ask the age old question, the question he wanted to know for six months

"what's your name?"

"oh! Sorry! It's [y/n]"

What a pretty name, a name he wanted to now write over and over again, when you asked his name he of course gave it to you before throwing an opportunity out there hoping you take it

"if you ever need help painting your house, I can help out trust me I'm awesome with a brush!"

"I would actually like that, when are you free?"

"now."

That's how he ended up in your home, and into your life.

Yuki

He literally just walked up and said hi

That's it

He saw you and was like "oh okay let's do this now"

He has no grace he doesn't usually plan things out he just goes and see how it works out

As a person who is a mute 80% of the time talking with you was a little awkward.

He gave off a lost puppy type vibe

Yuki usually would never come to an arcade, but he wanted to win the giant stuffed cat that they had at the prize booth it was so big that they simply had a picture of it..it would make a wonderful place to sleep on

It costed so many tickets though so he had put his entire paycheck into that card to hopefully win as much tickets as he could. That's when he met you, you were absolutely killing it on one of the zombie games and honestly it looked super cool

He walked up to the machine before swiping his card and picking up the player two gun, without a single word he started to play as well. The silence was awkward for sure but it was you who broke it

"wow you are actually pretty good, you play a lot?"

"nope."

His short one word answer made you think that he wasn't really wanting to talk so you were about to leave when he simply swiped his card in the player one slot before handing you the gun once more, with a grin you stepped back up and continued to play

You would ask him questions and get one word responses back or even just sounds filled with emotions, you quickly realized that he just was a man of few words

Yuki had been swiping his card for the both of you so when the time came that he was tapped out a look of shock filled him, he was about to go out more money in but it seemed like the store was closing

"well, I better g-"

You were cut off with him grabbing your hand and pulling you to the prize counter. You followed as he gave the worker the card and got exactly what he wanted...the softest, warmest, biggest plushie ever!

As he hugged it close he watched your eyes soften at the sight of it and you were in awe. He glanced at the plushie, then back at you, then back at the plushie

With that he handed the plushie to you watching your eyes grow big as you hesitantly reached out to it

"you're giving it to me?"

He nodded softly as he watched you hug it close

"are you sure?! This is the most expensive thing in the prize corner, I don't even think you can get another one! Are you re-"

"take. It."

You nodded and flashed him a huge grin before you watched him take out a pen and write on the plushie's tummy in big letters

'yuki: XXX-XX-XXXX'

"that's your name? Yuki..well yuki I'm [y/n]! I'll be sure to send lots of pictures of our new baby! Figured we can have joint custody hmm?"

Yuki have another nod as you both started to walk out, he didn't feel mentally exhausted when he was around you. You were definitely special and he wanted to know more.

[lovehugsandcandy]

I Want This Shit Forever (RoD, Colt x MC)

A/N: Is this a continuation of the story where Ellie gets pregnant? The tattoo story? I have no idea but I do know I was around a lot of kids this weekend so here are some of drabbles about Ellie and Colt’s family. Title from “Forever” (Drake/Eminem/Lil Wayne/Kanye West).

This might be my last RoDAW entry (we will see how my life works out today) and I just wanted to give a HUGE shout-out and thank you to the #RoDAW team, @choicesarehard @brightpinkpeppercorn @client-327 @poeticscolt @queenkaneko. The amount of WORK and EFFORT and LOVE that you guys put into this is nothing short of astonishing and I am in awe and so appreciative of you all. Thank you so much for an AMAZING week!!!

Pairing: Colt x MC, ROD 

Length: ~4250 words

Rating: R (Swearing, suggestiveness, discussion of illegal activities.)

Summary: Drabbles of Ellie and Colt and baby, thrown together with no semblance of plot, but hopefully a semblance of love

Ellie sighed, deep in her bones, and it still didn’t wake up the slumbering idiot behind her. 

She could feel every inch of him pressed against her back, breath hot on the back of her neck, arm hotter where it awkwardly snaked around her. She remembered when this kind of heat inflamed her, when it made her weak and pliant and putty in his hands, to be molded boneless and sex-drunk by his fingers and his lips and him, every part of him that worshiped her with single-minded devotion.

But this? She was just hot. And huge. And miserable. This was the worst.

She sighed again, louder, the rumble in her throat a warning. Still he didn’t stir.

She rolled her eyes and moved his arm, throwing it back with a bit for force than necessary before she struggled out of bed and down the hall. Everything hurt and she was tired, so tired, and emotional and fat and hot and this was the worst. She grabbed a glass of water, as cold as she could get the tap to run, holding it to her cheek as if it would do something, anything about the inferno inside her.

“El-”

She rolled her eyes. She just wanted to be miserable in peace.

“Ellie, you ok?”

Colt shuffled into the kitchen behind her, barely awake. She didn’t even think his eyes were open, hands tracing the walls, feeling his way through their small apartment.

She didn’t even feel bad. He didn’t have their child growing inside of him. She hadn’t slept in weeks.

He blinked when she didn’t answer, blurry eyes finally finding hers. “Ellie? Are you ok?”

“No.” The speed with which tears erupted in her eyes was embarrassing. She couldn’t even be appropriately annoyed without breaking down. “No, I am not ok.”

He stepped closer, looking wary. “What’s wrong?” He tried to cover up his yawn but it didn’t work, only served to infuriate her more.

“Everything! I can’t sleep, I’m too hot and I’m so tired and you are like a freaking furnace in there.”

He reached out to touch her but she swatted his hands away, instead taking giant gulps of water as if it would cool her temper along with her body.

“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?” He edged by her to open the freezer, holding out the ice cube tray to her.

She took a deep breath, balling her hands into fists. Ice. Of course. It was probably easy to be so smart when you were operating on consecutive days of uninterrupted sleep.

“No, I don’t want you to sleep on the couch!” She pushed the ice tray away.

“What do you want?” His voice was measured, weary. He wasn’t even engaging, too tired to battle with her.

Her shoulders dropped. “I don’t know. I just feel so uncomfortable, all the time.” She hated how her voice wavered but, if there was one person she could be weak in front of, it was the one person who wholeheartedly believed in her strength.

His eyes softened as he looked her over and he cracked the tray, pulling a couple of cubes out. Careful hands caressed the nape of her neck as he lifted her hair up and slowly traced the ice over her skin.

She couldn’t stop the sigh that filtered through her lips as the bite of cold took some of the edge off, dulling the burn in her body, becoming more of a smoldering flame than a bonfire licking at her body.

“Better?”

She could only nod, murmuring assent as he drew swirling designs on her neck, pulling at her shirt to get at her shoulders. As it melted, the water dripped down her spine, the rivulets trailing down a meandering path that took her breath away.

It felt so good.

She moaned, would have been embarrassed by the throaty noise, but noticed how Colt’s eyes darkened as he watched her.

At his look, at the sensations, ice water sparking her overheated skin, she was starting to get warm again, but a different kind of warmth. This kind started from her core and emanated though her nerves so that every part of her was buzzing. This was the good kind of warmth, the kind that couldn’t be sated by water and ice, but instead by the man in front of her, whose eyes were the flames that would burn her in the best of ways.

“Ellie…” His voice was a warning, hands sliding the ice down her arms. The goosebumps that followed were definitely not because of the cold.

She bit her lip and smiled. “You know, since we are both awake now, I can think of some amazing uses for this ice.”

And after, after the flames in her body had been stoked and teased and had burned her to the point of absolute delicious exhaustion, after, for the first time in weeks, Ellie slept.

~~~~~

Colt was shrugging on his shirt when Ellie pulled back the curtain.

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah.” Ellie slid her phone back in her purse. “Riya said she was going to try to put Cora down for a nap now.”

“Good. I’m gonna make a work call, if that’s ok?”

Ellie nodded, sliding into the seat and taking off her shirt. “I’ve got it.”

She settled into the seat as Jim, the tattoo artist, set up his equipment, shuffling into a comfortable position while he opened the sterile needle in front of her. She and Colt had talked about getting a tattoo to commemorate their growing family for ages, a long time. He had favored some truly horrific designs but Ellie had wanted a heart with Cora’s name in it, held firm. Finally, they compromised. At Ellie’s demand, they would each get a heart, their daughter’s name in delicate script on a curling ribbon in the center. Colt would only agree if he could choose the location, left shoulder blade, and if the heart was black, nixing the deep red Ellie favored.

Ellie smiled to herself. Relationships were all about compromise. Or, as far as she and Colt were concerned, compromise meant heated discussions and pleading until he remembered how irresistible she was and folded.

Jim grabbed the stencil and placed it against her back, grabbing a pen. “I like it. It’s almost exactly like your husband’s.”

She murmured noncommittally and then opened her eyes. “What do you mean almost?”

“Well, you won’t have the exact same tattoo, he asked me to add-”

“WHAT?!?!” Thankfully, he had just started and managed to pull the pen away seconds before Ellie sat up to glare at him. “He changed it?!?!”

He leaned back in his chair. “Well, yeah. He wanted-”

“I’m gonna kill him.” She grabbed her shirt, barely pausing to make sure that it covered her when she threw it on, and stormed into the waiting room. “COLT KANEKO!”

He was on the phone, a muttered conversation in the corner, away from the bored eyes of the receptionist. His head snapped to her as she stormed in, all fire and fury. 

His eyes widened as she approached, muttering “Just get it done” before hanging up to face her head-on.

She couldn’t keep the snarl from her voice. “What is your tattoo of?”

“A heart?”

“You liar. The tattoo artist said it was different. You promised we would match!” She was barely able to stop herself from reaching out and throttling him. “What, is your family not important enough, tough guy?!?”

He blinked at her and sighed. Slowly he peeled the shirt off his back and turned. “Take the bandage off. See.”

Huffing, she ripped the tape off, smiling at his wince. The smile dropped off her face as she moved the bandage aside and could see what was underneath.

“Oh, Colt.”

It was still red, skin tender where the needle had etched the careful design. And he was right, it was a heart, black and carefully shaded against his skin. However, unlike hers, there were two ribbons; the bottom had Cora’s name, written in the same simple script as her tattoo. However, the top ribbon...

“You got my name on it.”

He turned to her and shrugged. “Yeah. My two favorite girls.” He reached up to caress her cheek. “The two most important people in my life.”

Damn, she was weak for this man. She couldn’t help but reach up to pull his lips to hers, pouring her appreciation and love into every kiss, every touch.

“Excuse me?”

She held onto him tighter, leaning into his space until their bodies were one, even the sunlight filtering in through the window unable to get through where their bodies were melded together, lips and hips together casting one shadow on the wall.

A throat cleared behind her. She kissed harder. Then a cough. Another one, louder, a warning. ��Did you want that tattoo or not?”

She turned to look at Jim. “Do you think it’s too late to make an addition to it?”

~~~~~

Colt froze as he walked into the apartment, his heart stopping. He thought that the “OMG help” text Ellie sent had been because Cora was giving her a hard time. She had always been wild, inheriting both the spirit of her mother and drive of her father, but turning three had unleashed such a new level of dysfunction on their household that Colt was unsure they would recover from it.

He was expecting his daughter to be bouncing off the walls when he got home. Instead, it was silent and still, empty, and his home had been ransacked.

His breath caught in his throat as he surveyed the damage. Trash was everywhere, papers and belongings thrown haphazardly around by someone looking for something. Paint was dripping off the kitchen table, a puddle of blue spreading on the hardwood, and every single chair was overturned. 

The whisper came involuntarily. “Ellie?” His stomach was falling, turning. Where was his family?

The worry, the terror, that flashed through him quickly, mind moving quickly onto a plan: search the house, then call the crew. The rage came next, a quick blinding fire in his blood; anger was the emotion he knew best, the port in any storm that he could call on. If they dared touch his family....he was going to ruin them.

Whatever they were looking for, he doubted they found it. Most anything worth stealing was at the shop, tucked away in a safe in his office. He kept a small cushion of cash under a floorboard beneath their bed but not enough to be worth this level of destruction. 

He wandered to the kitchen and it was no better in here, half-eaten lunch on the counter, flour coating the ground. The dishwasher was open, bubbles foaming and spilling onto the floor. He swallowed, hard, jaw working overtime.

“Ellie?”

No answer. He moved through the apartment, checking the bathroom. Empty but, like the rest of the house, it was a disaster. The mirror was definitely not broken when he left this morning and the shower curtain had been intact, not in pieces, submerged in grimy water in the tub.

A little louder. “Ellie?!?”

Still no answer.

His hands started shaking and he balled them into fists. He knew exactly who did this, who wanted retribution for the latest job he pulled. He had been trying to keep Ellie and Cora away from his work but, apparently, it had come calling. If they laid a hand on his family, if they so much as thought about laying a hand on his family, he would kill them, destroy them, relish ending them as a message to anyone else who dare threaten the people he loved.

He swung Cora’s door open; apparently, they had been looking in here as well, dresser drawers open and askew, clothing everywhere. They had even pulled the books from her bookshelf, bedtime stories he knew by heart, open and crinkled on the carpet, wild things gnashing their terrible teeth as they looked up at him.

He was going to kill them.

He slowly opened his bedroom door and peered in, letting out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. It was a disaster in here too, clothing covering the floor like it was carpet, but, in the middle of their bed, Ellie and Cora were curled up, safe and sound and fast asleep. He could see where Cora had tossed and turned by the blue on the sheets, only a fraction of the paint that covered her body and clothes. What wasn’t blue was white, flour sticking to her hair like it had been shocked grey, streaks of it on her face. Ellie wasn’t any better, paint and flour and marker drawings covering her skin like amateur tattoos.

He kicked off his shoes and slid into bed behind her, dropping a soft kiss on her shoulder.  The sleepy smile that greeted him when she turned brought tears to his eyes.

“You have something on your face.”

“It’s a unicorn,” Ellie whispered. “Cora drew it.”

He clutched her closer. “Of course.”

“Colt?” She was already fading, eyes drooping as she spoke, slowly. “Next sick day, you’re staying home with her.”

He smiled and nodded, watching Ellie fall back asleep before he also joined in on nap time.

~~~~~

“I am not my father.”

Ellie’s eyes burned into him, nostrils flaring. “You sure are acting like it! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

Colt could barely think over the sound of his teeth grinding, jaw clenching as he worked to keep down words better left unsaid. “This is why I didn’t tell you, I knew you would react like this.”

“Oh,” she scoffed. “The problem is my reaction, not that you’re hiding things from me?”

He had to take a deep breath; he could feel the anger rising, muscles tensing, ready to fight, but in front of him was the one person he swore he would never hurt.

She continued, “This is just like something Kaneko would have done, you know.”

“Stop it!” He had to bite his tongue, hard, teeth digging into the tender flesh to have something else to focus on, somewhere else he could channel his rage. “I am not-”

“I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?” She swiped an angry hand over her face, glaring daggers at him.

He took a deep breath, hands clenching into fists, feeling his nails dig deep crescents into his palms, additional pieces of pain to focus on, to keep the curses and invectives in.

This is exactly why he didn’t tell Ellie about the East LA job. Or the Rolling Hills job. Or the Manhattan Beach job. Or any of the jobs the crew had pulled when he was trying to convince her and everyone else that he was nothing but a meager auto shop owner struggling to make it work in Gramercy Park.

“Mommy?”

Cora stumbled out of her room, eyes hazy, still clutching Billy, her stuffed cat companion that never left her side.

Colt let the breath out through his nose. And there was the reason he couldn’t be a meager auto shop owner, not anymore. The two reasons, Cora and Ellie, the two people he would move heaven and earth for, lift priceless sports cars for, so they would never want for anything. Hell, he would kill for them; he didn’t really think moving tons of metal was that bad in comparison.

Cora’s face lit up when she saw him and she made to run to him, into his arms, when Ellie’s quick hands reach out and plucked her up, pulling her away.

“But Mommy…” Cora’s mouth fashioned into a pout. “Daddy said we could get ice cream after nap!”

“NO!” Both Colt and Cora stared at Ellie as her shout echoed around the apartment. “You’re not going anywhere with him.”

Colt froze, staring at her, at the collision of his past and his present taking his breath away.

“But Mommy…”

Colt couldn’t breathe, blinking slowly at the pair; he was no stranger to heartbreak but this was the first time he could feel his heart physically shatter, pieces falling through his rib cage to land at this feet. His voice shook. “I have to go.”

“But Daddy…”

“Sorry, Cora, we can go later.” He didn’t even look at Ellie, keeping his eyes trained on his daughter as he backed away, hand grasping for the doorknob behind him. He had to go.

He could barely see the hallway, the stairs, the road in front of him as he drove, away, away, needing space, needing distance from his present and his past and his everything. As he sat on the cliff, head in his hands, he knew that he would never be able to outrun it all; you couldn’t get distance from yourself.

He heard the tires on the gravel, the slam of the door, the footsteps approaching, and let out a deep breath. He didn’t need to look up to know who it was, just kept his eyes on the horizon, water fading into sky in front of him. The cliff always soothed him but comfort was wanting today, even with the lapping of the waves below his feet. And, of course, it was where she knew to look for him.

“Hi.”

He didn’t answer, didn’t stir, just kept looking out. Were those seagulls?

“Can I sit?”

He shrugged, didn’t even turn as she sank to the ground next to him.

“Colt, I’m sorry.” She put a gentle hand on his arm; when he didn’t turn, she removed it to fold it into her lap. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

“You did.” His voice came out hollow.

“I didn’t.” She shifted next to him. “I am still pissed as hell but I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m so sorry.”

He shrugged again. If these were seagulls, they were fucking idiots because one just dive-bombed in to the waves like it had a death wish.

“Where’s Cora?”

“I dropped her off with my dad. They were going to hit the playground.”

He tried to temper down the flash of annoyance at the detective spending time with his daughter when he had been planning on getting her ice cream; he knew he failed by the bite in his voice. “Don’t dare tell me I can’t see her.”

“Colt, that’s not what I meant! I was just pissed”

He just stared at the stupid seagulls with no sense of self-preservation, being buffeted by the unyielding waves beneath them.

“Colt, would you just look at me!?!”

“My mom said that to me, those exact damn words.” He turned his head to look at her; she was calmer but he could see the flush of her cheeks, the familiar blaze in her eyes that he loved every time it was directed at someone other than him.

“Said what?”

“You’re not going anywhere with him.” He turned back to the waves. “About my dad.”

“Colt, I’m sorry…” She rested her hand on his arm again but, this time, she didn’t back away. “I didn’t know.”

“I know.” he shut his eyes, watching the scene in his head, one of many that would play out in a constant loop of madness when he had too much time to think. “I was 12 and I was staying with Pop more and more. His job was flexible, obviously, so he would make sure I caught the bus to school. I started staying some weekends too, hang out at the garage. We were supposed to go away for the weekend, drive up the PCH to San Fran.”

“Colt…”

He looked down at his hands. “Until my mom stormed in. Screaming, cursing. She was pissed. Apparently he was also going to San Fran to meet with a few contacts about a job, a big one. She was furious, wouldn’t let me go with him, said she wouldn’t let me out of her sight.”

Her hand slid down the jacket and slid into his palm; he twined their fingers together with a squeeze. Was he the seagull, buffeted by a past he couldn’t escape until he fell, headfirst into the water?

“After that, I barely saw him. I tried to get more involved, in the crew, in the garage, but…she moved me out East when I was 16. And you know the rest of the story.”

“Colt, I would never keep Cora from you. Ever, ever, ever.”

“Even if it was better for her?” He dropped his head. “Ellie, what if I am my dad?”

She grabbed his cheeks in both hands, turning his head so she could stare into his eyes, face solemn. “You’re not. Colt, you’re not your dad, you’re not.”

He couldn’t lift his eyes, weight of the world and his choices dragging him down.

“You’re not.” Ellie sighed. “Would you leave?”

“WHAT?!?” His eyes snapped up. “What are you-?”

“Would you leave me? Would you leave Cora?”

“Never.” He shook his head, incredulous. “Never, Ellie. There is nothing on earth that would keep me from you two, I would die befor-”

“I know.” She pulled him close, arms around his neck so she could speak in his ear. “That’s how I know you’re not your dad.”

He pulled back to look at her, her eyes shining at him. He couldn’t let her down.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

She raised an eyebrow. “No apology for committing multiple felonies and moving millions of dollars of merchandise with no warning?”

“Uhhh….Multiple?”

He grimaced when she nodded. “Do you think I didn’t talk to Ximena and get the full story?”

“I’m not going to apologize for my job.”

She let her arms fall from his neck, leaning away from him. “And what if you went to jail? Wouldn’t that keep you away from me? From Cora?”

“I’m careful, El, I swear.” It was always in the back of his mind, it was, but it was his legacy, what he was best at.

She bit her lip, considering; Colt watched the gleam in her eyes, the gears turning as she thought. His jaw dropped. “Oh my God.”

“What?”

“You want in.” He smirked. “I thought you were gonna ask me not to run the job. But that’s not it, is it?” He grinned triumphantly as he watched the blush spread across her cheeks. “You want in, don’t you?”

“I mean…I don’t want to drive, but…” Ellie glanced away, towards the horizon. “X said that you guys were still debating the escape route and I thought…”

Colt threw his arms around her, pulling her to the ground so he could pepper her face in kisses. “I fucking love you, you know that?” Or was he the waves, rough and turbulent against the shore, but always returning to the calm of the deep?

She giggled under the onslaught of his lips, squirming under him. “I have been known to have a good plan, once in a while.”

“Uh huh…” He had moved to her neck, gentle tongue tracing nonsense patterns.

“And it is us against the world, right?”

He pulled back to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Us against the world.”

“And I’m also not your mom.”

Colt froze to study her. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not leaving you either. Ever, ever, ever.”

He smiled, slowly, before dropping one last kiss on her lips and standing. He brushed off his jacket before he extended his hand, pulling Ellie to stand in front of him. “Us against the world.”

~~~~~

Colt stretched out in the chair and dug his feet in the sand, sighing. This was pretty great. He wasn’t even a beach person, one too many times with sand in inappropriate places tended to do that to someone, but he’d be damned if he was going to deprive Cora of something as simple as a beach day while Ellie was out with Riya. He knew she would come back soon with freshly painted toenails and chatter about Riya and Darius’s latest shenanigans.

He took a swig of his beer and watched Cora building a sand castle with some new friends, a complicated structure complete with turrets and a barn for the unicorns, of course.

“Oh my God, you almost look like a normal suburban dad.” He looked up, shading his eyes with one hand so he could smirk at Ellie as she walked over to him.

When she went in for a kiss, he pulled, sending her toppling over into his lap. He responded to her pout with a devilish grin. “I am completely respectable, thank you very much.”

“Ha. You don’t have a respectable bone in your body.”

“Mmmm…..” He cupped his hands around Ellie’s thighs and rolled his hips. “Would you like me to put a respectable bone in your-owww.”

She whacked him again, palm to his chest. “Some of the shit you say is decidedly not sexy.”

“It’s a good thing you’re sexy enough for the both of us.” He grinned, winding his fingers through her hair to pull her lips to his. She tasted like the sangria she and Riya loved and he deepened the kiss to chase every single drop.

“Ewwww….are you kissing?” He didn’t even hear the footsteps in the sand, so engrossed in his wife. Ellie turned at the voice.

“Not anymore,” he muttered at his cockblock of a daughter. “Hi, Cora. ”

The moment was quickly forgotten as Cora laid eyes on Ellie. “Mommy! I made a sand castle. Wanna see?”

“Of course, baby. One second.”

As Cora sprinted away, Ellie bent down, lips so close to Colt’s ear that the hairs on his arms stood up. “You can show me all your respectable parts later tonight.”

He could only stare, eyebrows raised, as she sauntered away, looking over her shoulder to blow him a mocking kiss.

He was so looking forward to fucking the respectability out of her.

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[incorrect-seventeen-quotes]

Do you have any good book recommendations?

Yes so many omg!!! I'll be doing this my genre soFantasy :Moribito(series) - Balsa, spear wielder and bodyguard, is a wandering warrior who has vowed to atone for eight deaths in her past by saving an equivalent number of lives. On her journey, she saves Prince Chagum, and is tasked with becoming his bodyguard. His own father, the emperor, has ordered his assassination. The two begin a perilous journey to ensure the survival of the prince. Balsa's complicated past begins to come to light and they uncover Chagum's mysterious connection to a legendary water spirit with the power to destroy the kingdom.Inkheart(trilogy) - Meggie lives with her dad, Mo. One night a guy named Dustfinger comes to see Mo, and they talk about some dude who's on his trail (Capricorn). Mo decides to bail with Meggie, and Dustfinger tags along as they go to visit Mo's absent wife's aunt, Elinor. Mo entrusts a book to Elinor, but is all secretive about it.Capricorn's men break into Elinor's place to kidnap Mo and steal the book. Meggie and Elinor decide to go find Mo and offer Capricorn the real book in exchange for him, since Elinor had secretly switched the real book for a fake one. Dustfinger shows them to Capricorn's village, which is a day's drive away in southern Italy.They arrive, and Meggie realizes that Dustfinger had been working for Capricorn all along—she and Elinor are imprisoned with Mo. Mo finally spills the beans: he read Capricorn and Dustfinger out of a book called Inkheart (which is the same book that everyone seems to want). This means that they were characters in the book, but then—nine years ago—they popped out into the real world. Just as people can be read out of books, so too can they be read into them, which accidentally happened to Meggie's mom and she hasn't been seen since. Sea of shadows (trilogy) - In the Forest of the Dead, where the empire’s worst criminals are exiled, twin sisters Moria and Ashyn are charged with a dangerous task. For they are the Keeper and the Seeker, and each year they must quiet the enraged souls of the damned.Only this year, the souls will not be quieted.Ambushed and separated by an ancient evil, the sisters’ journey to find each other sends them far from the only home they’ve ever known. Accompanied by a stubborn imperial guard and a dashing condemned thief, the girls cross a once-empty wasteland, now filled with reawakened monsters of legend, as they travel to warn the emperor. But a terrible secret awaits them at court—one that will alter the balance of their world foreverMystery :Tokyo Heist- When sixteen-year-old Violet agrees to spend the summer with her father, an up-and-coming artist in Seattle, she has no idea what she's walking into. Her father's newest clients, the Yamada family, are the victims of a high-profile art robbery: van Gogh sketches have been stolen from their home, and, until they can produce the corresponding painting, everyone's lives are in danger--including Violet's and her father's.Violet's search for the missing van Gogh takes her from the Seattle Art Museum, to the yakuza-infested streets of Tokyo, to a secluded inn in Kyoto. As the mystery thickens, Violet's not sure whom she can trust. But she knows one thing: she has to solve the mystery--before it's too late.Suicide notes from beautiful girls - They say Delia burned herself to death in her stepfather’s shed. They say it was suicide.But June doesn’t believe it.June and Delia used to be closer than anything. Best friends in that way that comes before everyone else—before guys, before family. It was like being in love, but more. They had a billion secrets, binding them together like thin silk cords.But one night a year ago, everything changed. June, Delia, and June’s boyfriend Ryan were just having a little fun. Their good time got out of hand. And in the cold blue light of morning, June knew only this—things would never be the same again.And now, a year later, Delia is dead. June is certain she was murdered. And she owes it to her to find out the truth…which is far more complicated than she ever could have imagined.The Assassins Game - At Cate's isolated boarding school, Killer Game is a tradition. Only a select few are invited to play. They must avoid being killed by a series of thrilling pranks, and identify the murderer. But this time, it's different: the game stops feeling fake and starts getting dangerous and Cate's the next target. Can they find the culprit ... before it's too late?Romance :Carry on - Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who’s ever been chosen.That’s what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he’s probably right.Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work, and the other half, he sets something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here—it’s their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up.Under rose tainted skies - Norah is confined by agoraphobia: for her, the outside is a glimpse of sky. But a chance encounter with Luke, her next-door neighbour, changes everything. Determined to be the girl she thinks Luke deserves – a ‘normal’ girl – Norah’s love and bravery opens a window to unexpected truths.The sun is also a star - Two teens--Daniel, the son of Korean shopkeepers, and Natasha, whose family is here illegally from Jamaica--cross paths in New York City on an eventful day in their lives--Daniel is on his way to an interview with a Yale alum, Natasha is meeting with a lawyer to try and prevent her family's deportation to Jamaica--and fall in love.LGBT :Sympthoms of being human - Riley Cavanaugh is many things: Punk rock. Snarky. Rebellious. And gender fluid. Some days Riley identifies as a boy, and others as a girl. But Riley isn't exactly out yet. And between starting a new school and having a congressman father running for reelection in ��ber-conservative Orange County, the pressure—media and otherwise—is building up in Riley's life.On the advice of a therapist, Riley starts an anonymous blog to vent those pent-up feelings and tell the truth of what it's really like to be a gender fluid teenager. But just as Riley's starting to settle in at school—even developing feelings for a mysterious outcast—the blog goes viral, and an unnamed commenter discovers Riley's real identity, threatening exposure. And Riley must make a choice: walk away from what the blog has created—a lifeline, new friends, a cause to believe in—or stand up, come out, and risk everything.Openly straight : Rafe is a normal teenager from Boulder, Colorado. He plays soccer. He's won skiing prizes. He likes to write.And, oh yeah, he's gay. He's been out since 8th grade, and he isn't teased, and he goes to other high schools and talks about tolerance and stuff. And while that's important, all Rafe really wants is to just be a regular guy. Not that GAY guy. To have it be a part of who he is, but not the headline, every single time.So when he transfers to an all-boys' boarding school in New England, he decides to keep his sexuality a secret -- not so much going back in the closet as starting over with a clean slate. But then he sees a classmate breaking down. He meets a teacher who challenges him to write his story. And most of all, he falls in love with Ben . . . who doesn't even know that love is possible.This witty, smart, coming-out-again story will appeal to gay and straight kids alike as they watch Rafe navigate being different, fitting in, and what it means to be himself.Freak Show - Billy Bloom is gay, but it’s mostly theoretical, as he hasn’t had much experience. When he has to move to Florida, he can’t believe his bad luck. His new school is a mix of Bible Belles, Aberzombies, and Football Heroes, none of which are exactly his type. Billy’s efforts to fit in and stand out at the same time are both hilarious and heartrending. In this novel from adult author and media personality James St. James, readers are in for a wild ride as he tells Billy’s fascinating story of bravado, pain, and unexpected love, inspired by his own experiences.

[jettremy]

11 for cas!

( * seven minutes in heaven . )

                    ➥  (   11.  )  needy, hungry kiss.

            WHEN YOU LOSE EVERYTHING & all at once, it’s laborious & nearly impossible to escape a mindset so disturbing, jaundiced & detrimental. you morph into an ominous, dark thundercloud, spreading your electrifying negativity like a virus via air particles. those whom you haven’t pushed away yet, you’re poisoning with your blackened blood that’s being paradoxically pumped by the sheer N O T H I N G N E S S between your rotting lungs. you inject your venom into their pristine flesh with every graze of your lips & teeth against their body while hidden beneath thin sheets. all of your friends you’ve abandoned, determining that you’ve acquired a peculiar taste for the menacing touch of self-hatred, the strangling embrace of solitude & the deadly kiss of depression, a taste none of them would understand. you resort to numerous unfit lovers whom you throw away when they fail to make you feel ANYTHING, even if it’s repulsion. you’ve become erratically violent towards your own skin & bones, mutilating & scorching not only your own costume but the world around you as well   ——   seeing something consumed by flames is comforting & calming, makes you feel as if the destroyed object might sense a sliver of what your insides are going through constantly, or at least when they’re not numbed by the substances that will steal your life away prematurely. all of it jeremy has tasted on his tongue, felt on his skin. all it took was a single summer for him to lose two of the most substantial people of his life and for everything to turn to shit. so far, he’s been through three notable phases & all of them could be linked to a particular love interest of his.

CASSIUS HWANG   ——   the happiest version of jeremy. back then, everything was normal &, most importantly, easy & painless. he often dreams of the life he used to have & is desperate to experience it all over again.

RHEE TAEMIN   ——   the worst version of him, one that he wants to erase from his own memory. one that he’s ashamed of, one that he despises with every single cell of his lanky body. occasionally he’s tempted to fall back into his old ways, but, thankfully, he’s regained enough strength to pull himself up every single time & escape his old vices’ vicious claws.

KERRY HIMURA   ——   the newest version of the artistic male, one that’s yet to be fully explored because he’s stuck healing & finding himself all over again. it’s as if he’s walking on thin ice, deathly afraid of potentially relapsing to his second phase, when all he wants to do is be who he was while dating cas. he masks his true sensitivity with jokes, too busy teasing people to form DEEP, emotional connections with them.

            EXTREMELY INFREQUENT ARE THE INSTANCES when the four of them find themselves in the same room, when all of jeremy’s emotions and old selves come crashing together, his various identities colliding and threatening to D E M O L I S H anything and anyone, guilty or innocent, that’s in their way with an overwhelming, disastrous force. he’s on edge whilst appearing to be comfortable on cassius’ sofa, his feelings confusing the living fuck out of him as his wild eyes try to take in everything that’s going on around him. the only indicator that he might be feeling UNEASY is his left leg which is mercilessly bouncing, though, if you know jeremy, you know that’s one of his many, many annoying habits that he can’t seem to shake off. on days when it’s just too hard to breathe, jeremy skips out on these cutesy get-togethers and exchanges them for a night of spray painting and liquor abuse. however, today’s too special for him to ghost on his friends, both in an unexpected, unannounced manner & with a fake excuse. a long time ago, this date used to be one of the most I M P O R T A N T ones to him   ——   CAS’ BIRTHDAY. days before it, jeremy would prepare gifts for his then boyfriend, little drawings and paintings, he’d rehears playing his favourite songs on his old, beat-up & sticker-covered acoustic guitar, even when he wasn’t the biggest fan of said tunes. he’d treat him like a king on that day, perhaps only a smidge more than he normally would on any other   ——   he always made sure that cassius was feeling good and was treated properly. whilst recalling some of their joint memories that he holds very dear, like piercing cas’ nose and inking up his skin ( a sign of TRUST in jeremy’s eyes ), or having him lovingly hold remy’s hand when a piercer stuck a needle through his privates, his often red-rimmed, black oak bark orbs are tirelessly following the birthday boy who’s dressed up so nicely. even jeremy found it in him to put on a proper outfit for this occasion   ——   a dark rose gold silk dress shirt embellished with onyx embroidery on its collar & the very ends of its sleeves ( dae did make him laugh previously by saying it looked like a delicious, mouth-watering raspberry adorn with the sun’s breathtaking golden glow ) paired with tight charcoal jeans that beautifully show that he never skips leg day at the gym. they carry his characteristic edge & rebellion, since they’re tastefully ripped. when he talked to the blond, they might have told him that the fashion major of the group would surely find him attractive in this outfit, which might have caused him to smile secretly. his stomach was tied in knots at the thought of kerry’s reaction & impression of his garments which he assumed she’d keep to herself. chimlin did surprise him with her obnoxious ‘ OMG LEE, YOU CLEANED UP NICELY ’ which earned her a scoff from jeremy who stated that he had a good fashion sense, but that he preferred his cozy, oversized sweatshirts. though, surely everyone would argue that tight-fitted shirts like this one, which show off his lean waist & broad shoulders, suit him far better. 

            THEY’RE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE pregaming before going out to celebrate cassius’ birthday, but the architect has done his fair share of prepregaming all alone in his bedroom before kerry, bless her heart, came to notify him that it was time for them to leave & go to the mansion next door. though he was, at first, buzzing around the little brunette, complimenting her new hairdo & expressing that he could never in his life decide whether it fits her better than blonde locks or not, once he stepped into his ex’s house, it all stopped abruptly. the two men from his past aggressively dragged his thoughts & feelings away from kerry, mostly because seeing them in the same room always reminds him of how defeating it feels to hurt or be hurt by another person. he realises how badly he’d burn her if she came too close, how she’d get swallowed by his endless darkness if she peeked into his heart   ——   HE’D DESTROY HER. she doesn’t deserve that. thankfully, he’s not in the limelight tonight, resulting into no one noticing how mopey he’s become whilst sitting on this damned overpriced sofa and gulping some fancy-ass, well-aged whiskey. he’s not sure exactly whose idea was it to engage in many different drinking games, but he sure does pick up on chimlin trying to persuade them to play seven nights in heaven   ——   sure that childish bitch would propose that, a lover of all things dramatic & secretive. he witnesses her hand the empty whiskey bottle to the peach-haired man, encouraging him to give it a spin. it unsettles the tattoo artist who immediately recalls his ex-boyfriend crawling out of a closet with a blossoming bruise on his neck, made by no other than han yeseul. he’s well aware of the fact that he doesn’t get to be J E A L O U S, mostly because that night he got marked up by kerry and, yes, he fucking liked it, but it still made him feel uncomfortable, tightened his chest significantly. he knows that during these past three years cas must have dated, loved, screwed who knows how many people   ——   it’s something inevitable   ——   but the thought of him loving someone else shatters his whole being, mostly because he hasn’t been able to have true feelings for anyone ever since they parted ways. perhaps because he didn’t get proper closure.

            HE’S ITCHING FOR A CIGARETTE, a glorious death stick that would ease his nerves while the bottle’s spinning on the floor, making him queasy as he thinks about all the possible outcomes of this situation. he knows that cas doesn’t mind that he smokes, but this happens to be junhyuk’s house as well & he has no fucking clue how the writer feels about having one lit in his home. this is why jeremy ends up anxiously drumming his tattooed, slender fingers on his knees instead. he could deal with cas going into that stupid closet with dae, jaewon, jaesung, dylan and kerry. everyone else ? it’s a strong no from him, considering that yeseul, rin and chim could do who the fuck knows what with him, jun is obviously into him, and … having taemin & cas in a small closet together ? a war would happen and there’d be only ONE survivor   ——-   yes, he’s the one to blame for that as well. his lids shield his eyes from the bottle, protecting them from what’s about to happen & his head falls back   ——   he’s not even tipsy at this point which SHOULDN’T come as a surprise to anyone since he’s quite experienced in this domain, his body used to all sorts of opiates that it’s begun to welcome them as if they’re a normal part of his system. having tuned everyone out for a mere second as he braces himself for the worst, he suddenly senses a shove to his ribs   ——   he’s being elbowed by none other than daehyun for a reason still unknown to the older male. as soon as his chestnuts are revealed, they’re faced with the opening of the glass bottle, which is pointing at him, & numerous sets of eyes boring into him   ——   F U C K. act cool. act fucking cool. this ? this is the last thing he thought would happen. jeremy forces out an exasperated sigh and theatrically reacts as if he’s done with their childish bullshit when in reality his heart’s shaking in terror in its cavity, like a leaf repeatedly hit with light wind. he pushes himself up & off the elegant piece of furniture casually, his body moving unhurriedly, and refuses to allow anyone to see how solicitous he is about what’s in his and cassius’ near future.

           JEREMY’S MASK FALLS AS SOON AS the door closes behind him & he’s all alone with his former lover. his beaming smile lights up the darkness of the tight place they’ve been shoved in, his whole expression indicating that he’s nothing but amused & sated. he reminds himself not to lean back & hit the wood in order to prevent the others from being suspicious of what they’re doing.          ❛     oh me, oh my … all alone with the birthday boy ? me ? how did i get so lucky ?     ❜         it occurs to him that he has no idea what cas is feeling towards him at this point, or if he has any feelings left for him after all this time. hell, he has no clue what the fuck his own mutilated, bleeding heart wants. still, he takes a courageous step forward, carefully presses the older against the closet wall and snakes his arms around his neck. it feels delightful doing it to someone else for once. although his go to type are petite girls & boys alike ( exhibit a, KERRY   —–   exhibit b, TAEMIN ), he’s always loved his and cassius’ height difference, basked in feeling small for the first time in his life in the taller man’s arms, adored how he could feel like a protectee rather than a protector, even though cas is much softer & sweeter than jeremy is. it’s good not to get neck & back cramps from leaning down so much, even more amazing having to look up in order to see his handsome features.        ❛    this must be the best present you’ve gotten thus far, but the night is full of surprises, cassie.     ❜         a whisper taunts cas’ earlobe, along with a set of incisors that graze it dangerously. his desire leads him to the jawline he’s explored many, many times ( much like every other spot of the radio host’s body ), his naturally pouty lips planting kisses on their path to jeremy’s final goal. a pair of nostalgic, desperate hands caresses cas’ sides and then goes all the way down to POSSESSIVELY cup the curve of his back, squeezing hard enough to make their hips clash together, and perhaps earn a gasp.         ❛     do you still have that little tattoo i gave you down there ?     ❜         of course it couldn’t have disappeared on its own, like cas did from jeremy’s life, and the younger truly doubts cas would go through all that pain just to get it removed, but he needs to ask, his question making his smirking lips brush against the other’s   ——   he doesn’t cave in just yet, though, he waits for the answer to his teasing. in a pointless attempt to bring his F R I E N D closer, he rests one of his hand on the back of the taller’s neck, and with a hard grip on his thigh, brings his leg up and around his own waist, pressing cas into the wall. immediately after connecting their mouths for the first time after three years, jeremy has to pull back to catch a breath because the overwhelming, much needed contact sucked all the air out of him with its intensity. like a starved animal, he eyes the other’s parted, glossy lips ravenously, along with his somewhat hooded soul windows, & his irresistible expression pushes jeremy into a lip-lock that promises to provoke a spontaneous combustion. his blood vessels are boiling, body shaking as his tongue licks between cas’ precious pillowy softness, tugging on his bottom pinkness afterwards. using his exceptional upper body strength, he picks cas up for a few seconds, just enough for him to crouch and sit on the floor with cas on his lap because ... why exactly would he be standing if he can be comfortable on the ground while sharing needy kisses with the birthday boy ? jeremy slowly dials down on the desperateness, savouring the moment while he can. he pulls away, his hands going up to the other’s face. he brushes his knuckles against his cheek which leads him to gently cradling both of them and tracing cas’ adorable dimple with his thumb.         ❛     happy birthday, cas.     ❜         he whispers softly, pressing their lips  together in a fond, lingering peck. his eyes are shut, his brain going back to the texts they exchanged the other day, when cas asked him whether he was still in love with him. this, this very moment is when jeremy’s insides start PAINING HIM UNBEARABLY.

[yakumtsaki]

OMG IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. THANK U PROFESSIONAL MAKE-UP COP  ❤

Return of the prodigal son. The fuck were you thinking running away into the night you dumbass? Hopefully you have learned your lesson. Stop the thousand-yard-stare immediately. 

-They paint the world full of shadows and tell their children to stay close to the light.. 

NOP.

-..because in the darkness there be dragons. But it isn’t true. In the darkness..

NOP.

-..there is freedom.

UGH. You know what else is in the darkness, Neo? Fucking starvation. Don’t you dare run away again before topping your career. After that, godspeed.

Yea thanks for the tip, professional make-up cop 2.0. We’ll know better than to jerk off the wolf next time.

Oh man.. this brings back so many memories </3 Truly your mother’s son. (I’m acting like Victoria has died, she hasn’t, I’m just feeling very emo about her becoming an elder).

LOL a romance sim artist, hot take there Gunther. Def preferable to that 20 lovers shit tho so good job!

Jojo Union: The Truth Is Out There.

-Will those idiots ever abduct me?? I want the scholarship!

What can I tell you Jo, your chances are looking as good as that acne-Komei jaw combo you have going. Mystery of the non-abduction = solved.

DEAD. This weird ass relationship is killing me, I didn’t even know you could read a teen to sleep??

-Sooo, where were we? Oh yea. Let us take two commodities such as a coat and 10 yards of linen, and let the former be double the value of the latter, so that, if 10 yards of linen = W, the coat = 2W..

DANIEL STOP TRYING TO HYPNOTIZE JOJO INTO COMMUNISM. You can stand to learn something from Gunther, who conducts his political discussions in an open and straightforward manner!

-It’s like.. capitalism, man.. fucked up. 

-Toootally :D

Oh right, we brought this preppy church girl home from school! 

Gross, not only is she a face two (a mortal sin in this house) she also looks exactly how I imagine all those college girls that voted for Trump look. But if Gunther is to become the artistic slutbag he’s meant to be, we gotta start somewhere..

-I just love the way your eyebrows are way yellower than your hair.. And that hot-pink lipstick/blood red cardigan combo.. As an aspiring art school drop out, I can tell you really have an eye for color..

-Professional make-up cop 2.0 has got nothing on you babe!

Well that was..embarrassingly easy. Embarrassing for Daniel that is, whose well documented attempts at getting a girlfriend were like dragging nails on a fucking chalkboard. Equally if not more embarrassing is Jojo, who a) has not rolled a single romantic want b) has expressed interest in Stephen Tinker and David Ottomas c) can’t even get the ugly ass aliens to abduct him. Jfc.

But finally, after our two oldest proved to be massive flops, it looks like Vic’s sexual prowess has been inherited and not even the sky can limit those slutty genetics! See you never, Trumpie. We’re moving up in the world.

[bites-kms]

Belong, Bagan

From just finding out where Joyous Journey (JJ) Bus Station, my Bagan experience was epic and wonderful for a lack of a better world. The breathtaking views, the peace I found, the spicy flavors and the endless smiles I got in return for just a simple hand wave, are something worth remembering and to be grateful for. 

From the moment I jumped onto the bus, I was already talking to people: French, Colombians, Spanish, so it felt good to be together with a bunch of people who were also looking for something. Maybe it was great views, Instagram photos or peace, but in my case, I was looking for myself. And it was so good. It felt very intense every step of the way. Being the rare one, one of the few white people - and a single woman!- is always refreshing. It’s like finding a little corner of the world that nobody knows you but everybody wants to, they are curious, they treat you nicely, and you are mesmerized by people’s sympathy. They are seriously one of the nicest people I had the blessed to meet. Their smiles invade your soul, I’m not getting tired of repeating that. Traveling has this latent discovering feeling, that you are always exposed to something new: even if you’ve been to that place, you never step foot twice in the same river, right? I love that feeling, I get high on it and seriously, being lost in nowhere is exactly where I belong the most. 

And Bagan... man... it’s hard to describe. It’s a magic land. It’s really wonderful. Yes, the temples are amazing, but there’s this vibe, this energy, these smiles, the clean air and the sun on your face that makes everything even more outstanding and special. The sand on your feet and the sweat on your back. It’s truly mystical. Even when it rains: pouring or just drizzling, when you are on your bicycle or bike, embracing all the history, faith and energy of the place, you feel invincible. 

This is a very heartfelt post, not so much about tips or things to do. But Bagan has that, you can't be immune to this feeling, so I’m trying to be as faithful as possible to that. I stayed at the Old Bagan Thande Hotel, which was one of the oldest one in town. Bagan Thande Hotel is located at the south-west corner of the ancient walls Of Old Bagan City and on the eastern bank of the River Ayeyarwaddy, also situated inside Bagan Archaeological Zone. So, it’s right in between the temples, almost equally distant from Nguan U and New Bagan. 

It was specially built to receive the Prince of Wales at the time, and you can actually book the same room he stayed at (which back then, it was the whole establishment, but at the moment is just on top of the main restaurant)

Let’s make a parenthesis in between this so we can actually make justice to the remarkable experience I had the pleasure to live within the JJ trip. This was by far the most comfortable bus experience I had ever lived so far, and trust me, I do have some kilometers under my belt when it comes to overnight bus rides! JJ stands for Joyous Journey, and yes, as cheesy and dodgy as it sounds, is equally comfortable and amazing. The seats are considerable way wider and almost fully reclined than other companies around the world, with an individual color TV and headphones (and yes... 5 channels!) and a perfectly sanitized blanket to fight the coldness of the hardcore AC, as well as a nice snack box with multiple sweets and salty buns. It comes with a little water bottle and there’s one cart service of drinks and juice. Then, they dim off the light and with a very, sensual broken English voice recorder over the PA, they reminded you to fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the ride. With just few stops between Yangon and Bagan, the trip is really a Joyful Journey as their name states. Of course, the bus station is not a station at all but just a random, very lost office in the middle of nowhere, which seems VERY dodgy at first, but man, it’s completely worth it. The buses towards Bagan are better than the ones returning to Yangon, and that seems to be a norm, but both of them were equally comfortable. In Bagan, they even have a door to door pick up service so it’s even better! 

I challenged myself in every aspect, but especially regarding transportation. Everyone knows that I cant ride a bicycle - even less a bike- but I did give it a try. The best way to go around Bagan is on this electrical bikes they have, but even so, they were too heavy- I'm too clumsy and I have no balance whatsoever, so, I did the smart thing to do: ask a friend to show me around! Thank you Manuel!! Bagan would have not been the same without you! 

From established restaurants to street pop-ups and personal houses, the food scene in Bagan is an experience on its own - as everything else in that magical land. The spices, the rice, the flavors, the curry... OMG that curry, the indulgence of the coconut milk blended to perfection with the spices and herbs, it was one of the best, if not the best curry I have in my life (and it beats by far the Indian, the Malay or the Tibetian ones). This is like pizza, either you have with Coca-Cola or Beer, so of course, I went for the local beer. It was hilarious because I was driving and the gentle sir/cooker/homeowner/account-guy brought me the only size they got: a LITER! Jajajaja.. my goodness!

 The Best Curry of my life - find it at Wonderful Tasty in Nyaung U

It was an epic way to celebrate my stayed there, after meeting these wonderful craftswoman whose name is Aye Aye who told me her story, her children story and proudly showed me how she was featured on the Lonely Planet with her handwork and amazing art. If you can, please go and visit her, you’ll find her, she is just outside the Ananda Temple, in the little dusty alley at the back.  Just have a glimpse at her work, or as I did, dedicate some time to talk to her and everyone around you. She even told me next time I go to Bagan, I already have a place to stay. <3 ကြေးဇူးတငျစကား, Aye Aye! 

Myanmar - ex Burma - has been and is still going through a lot, so the more they interact with foreigners, the more they learn and revive. They are curious, they are gentle, they want to learn and practice English, they want the world to know their story too, without Military or Peace Nobel Awards in between. They want to tell how they wake up with the sun, pray, and have faith that Buddha will provide, protect and bless them. After that, they go to work, and there are not many options: they are farmers, trading their good with their neighbors, working for the state, meaning post office or local council, and most recently, tourism. They are amazing artists, working the wood, bamboo, paint and little crafts, so now they have the chance to share their love and art with the world. One of them, whom unfortunately I don't remember his name, helped me while I was struggling with my bike, under the heat and sweat of the noon sun. He wanted me to join him for some temples for him to be able to showcase his art work in a better environment, and of course, with my rotten western mind, I thought he was gonna hurt me or do something weird. Nothing but the contrary. He showed me the most amazing and secret temples I could imagine, both of which I return to have an uncluttered- tourist free sunsets and sunrises. It was just perfect. Of course I ended up crying with emotional tear and buying an amazing painting of pilgrim praying monks in this special mix of paint and sand. Very, very wonderful indeed. 

There are some few temples you MUST visit while you are there - which you can check here-,  such as Shwesandaw or Ananda,  but please dont forget the tiny ones, the off-the-path ones, over there is where the magic truly happens. You can sleep and relax by a tree shadow, pray in peace,  or do that rare and unique, soul-filling catch up via WhatsApp with your far away P.-erson- 

Wherever you go, whomever you are with, Bagan is there for you. You just need to let yourself in and trust me, you’ll belong in a heartbeat. That colorful sunset, draw and painted by all the Buddha, was made for you, and I felt so happy to share it with You in my mind and heart, and now with you all. As George Orwell wrote back in 1934, “Beauty is meaningless until it is shared” - Burmese Days.