#omg just a quick earth swap for them 🥺🙏🏽

[overnightheartbeats]

As she spoke, a heavy feeling washed over her. Telling him how she felt was not doing anything for her. These last four months, she sometimes pictured sitting him down and just going off on all the frustrations that had been bubbling in her chest. If only to tell someone before she exploded. But, no. His request to hear how she felt had no positive aspect to it. Laurel could see that now, as she met his eyes, meeting the sorrow and heartbreak that weighed on him. Why did she give into his request to share? All this did was hurt him further.

She turned away for just a second, trying to catch her breath before returning her attention to him. “I know that your actions didn’t mean to hurt me. That’s what makes it so fucked up, for me sit here and complain about my feelings when you’re trying to recover from something much bigger than heartache.” Could she not be stronger? Keep this to herself and show that she was unaffected so he didn’t have to worry about her too? The blessing and curse of someone knowing you well. That’s just how Laurel dealt with things though. In her family, ‘going through it’ was only reserved for one person at a time, usually just her parents. If anyone else had problems, it had to wait. So, she quickly adopted that. Push problems down until they went away or were dull enough to forget. Her problems took the backseat each time, they were never as serious as others. This time included. “I didn’t care about you being there for me. On the contrary, I wanted to be the partner you needed, but you decided differently which is..okay. I guess I just wasn’t used to not being by your side, losing you more than once is not easy.I want to be honest with you, but not at the cost of hurting you more.” She reached out to rest her hand over his, her thumb softly brushing his skin. “I’m not sure there is a correct way to deal with it, you did what you had to. I understand that, my heart is just a little slower at catching up.”

"Issac and Aaron would not get along." He immediately went into a small fit of laughter. It quickly faded though as he realized he had also let his friendship with him down. He had a lot to do to repair all the relationships he broke.

He didn't say anything as Laurel went off. Just like he had wanted but it still didn't let him go unscathed. He knew he had hurt her but just how deeply it was now clear. Eli may have died but that also seemed to go for her. He didn't know what to say, what could he say? Sorry didn't cover it. He fucked up and he knew it also seemed a little low to lead with. So, he stared at her. Opting for that choice that had never lied to her before. She'd see how sorry he was, how heartbroken he was at leaving her in the dark when he promised he wouldn't. The feeling in his chest was a weird one to digest.

She was right. When he had come back, it wasn't the same person who took the shot. There was no denying that things changed that day and it left them like scattered puzzle pieces trying to find their corner once again. This was exactly why he wanted them to go to therapy. There was no way he was mending this on his own. To be fair he had no idea where to start. He couldn't heal her when he didn't feel capable of healing himself. He wasn't the partner she needed or deserved. Not right now. "I didn't take the guest room to hurt you. Not an excuse but I couldn't be the partner you needed and while I could have explained that to you then and not left you in the dark, I chose not to and that is what I'll forever try to make up for with you." He shook his head, "it's not being an asshole. You're being honest just like how I asked you to be." He closed his eyes and tried to erase the fact that he died from his mind. "I know I did. I don't know that I'm dealing with it the correct way." Clearly not since he decided Laurel didn't need to be part of the equation. "I don't know that I'm sorry is good enough to cover how I wish I could take it back."