#okay no my little treats lately have been excessive

[maureen-corpse]

God budgeting really puts the Little Treat dependency in perspective doesn’t it

[cevansbrat0007]

The Do-Over

Summary: Everyone deserves a second chance, including jerks like Bounty Hunter, Ari Levinson. Takes place directly after the events in Hello, Duchess.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Bucky Barnes, A Deep Love of Clark Bars, Light Groveling, Bickering, Discussions of Grief, Threats of Violence, Gentle Manhandling, Brief References to Negative Body Image, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Special thanks to my creative consultant, @curls-and-eyeliner. Part my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

An annoyed Ari takes a pull from his cigarette as he listens to his friend and fellow combat vet give him shit all the way from his office back in New Mexico. As soon as this was over, he was going to ditch this empty parking lot to find himself an ice cold beer and a goddamned steak. 

He was officially ready to put this day behind him. But first he needed a decent dinner.

“So let me see if I’ve got this right.” His friend begins, now that he’d finally stopped cursing up a blue streak. “Do you really mean to tell me that you took our best lead, which just so happened to be the perp’s girlfriend, and fucked it all to hell?”  

Okay, but just because that’s what happened doesn't necessarily mean that it was actually his fault. He’d just been a little off his game.

“Hey Buck, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re beginning to sound as dramatic as Rogers.”

“Steve would never fuck-up something this big for us.” He could practically hear the man flipping him off.

“I’m telling you this girl would’ve cut off Golden Boy’s balls and fed them to him for breakfast, okay?” He takes another puff, flicking some of the excess ash out his driver-side window. “Trust me.”

“Hold on.” An exasperated Bucky sighs into the receiver before placing the phone on his desk to speak to whoever had just walked into his office. He hoped whoever it was had better news than he did, otherwise he feared his old war buddy might have an aneurysm.

Sometimes he got the impression that Sergeant James “Bucky” Barnes was wound a little too tight.    

The silence drags on as Ari contemplates getting out of his car to stretch his legs. It’s another several minutes before Bucky is back on the line, and this time he sounds positively exhausted.

“We can’t afford to lose this one, man. Westbrook might be a piece of shit, but he’s an expensive piece of shit. So while I don’t care how you feel about the girl, you need to make things right. She could have some valuable intel.”

“Yeah, I know.” His mood darkens as he flicks the cigarette onto the pavement. As he watches it hit the ground, he finds himself wondering if it was finally time to quit the cancer sticks altogether. It’s not like he hadn’t thought about it before.

“Besides, what do you care if she was Westbrook’s fuck buddy?” Ari’s treated to the sound of his friend unwrapping something that sounded suspiciously like a candy bar. There was only one person who was known to keep that stuff at the office.

Which meant that shit had better not come from his personal stash, otherwise Bucky Barnes was a fucking dead man.

“I don’t.” Ari growls, sucking on his teeth. “And that had better not be a Clark Bar you’re eatin'.”

“Hate to break it to ya, pal. But based on what you told me earlier, it kinda sounds like you might.” There’s an unmistakable sound of a grin in his voice, which irks the bounty hunter to no end. 

“And I think it’s finally time you got your hearing checked, old man.” He growls back, although his words lack any real fire. 

“As for your precious Clark Bars,” he continues. “See, normally I’d pass on ‘em. But Pixie’s been on a health kick lately and she threw out all the junk food. So, I’m desperate.” Bucky gives an exaggerated groan. “Plus, she has no idea about your stash.” 

“Jesus.” Ari grumbles, firing up his engine with the intent to head back to the house he was currently renting. “I really wish you two would just suck face already and get it over with.”

“Mind your fucking business, Levinson.”

“Then keep your filthy hands off my fuckin’ Clark Bars, Barnes.” There’s a heavy sigh on the other line, prompting Ari to roll his eyes. All he wanted was for this conversation to fucking end.

“Look.” Bucky grunts. “You bring down this Westbrook fucker and I’ll buy you a goddamned case of those stupid bars. Alright?”

“You got yourself a deal.” Turning on his truck, Ari slowly heads for the exit as his stomach begins to rumble. Maybe he’d track down some shrimp to go with that steak.

“And fix whatever it is you fucked up with that bookstore broad while you’re at it.” 

“I’ll do my best.” He grimaces as his mind treats him to images of you threatening him with your taser. “But if that little spitfire puts me in the hospital you’re footin’ the bill.” And with that, Ari hangs up the phone.

As of now, he was officially done for the night.

A Few Days Later…

You’re sitting on the floor of your stockroom when you hear the tinkling of bells signaling the arrival of a customer. Groaning as you rise to your feet, you wipe your palms on the fabric of your pants and head to the front of the store. 

Business had been unusually slow today, so hopefully this patron - whoever they were - would be in the mood to buy something. As you were driving in this morning, you’d briefly considered holding another sale. Maybe it was time for another book fair. That seemed to be pretty popular the last time you’d done it. 

You’re in the middle of making a mental note to reach out to the local librarian when your eyes land on the absolute last person you wanted to see standing in your lobby: Ari Levinson. 

Not this guy again. 

“Yeah, it’s me.” He says, offering up an unapologetic shrug as he takes in the sight of you in your form-fitting yoga pants. 

Apparently you’d spoken out loud. Perhaps if you kept doing it, the man would eventually get offended enough to leave. Wishful thinking at its finest.

When the intruder realizes you don’t plan on speaking again, he decides to take advantage of the silence by doing something completely unexpected. 

“I just dropped by to, uh…” He takes a deep breath, rocking back on his heels. “Apologize for how our last meeting went. While it wasn’t my intention to insult you, I know that I did.” One big hand comes up to massage the back of his neck. “Just wanted to offer that, for whatever it’s worth.”

“Oh. Wow.” You reply dumbly, crossing your arms over your chest. For whatever reason, you got the distinct impression that he didn’t make apologies often. 

“You’re right, sweetheart. I don’t.” His lips turn up in an awkward grin as he takes a step toward you. “But a real man knows how to own up to his shit, which is exactly what I’m doin right now.”

“Okay.” 

Mouth suddenly dry, you go to take a step back, only to find that your legs no longer work. Next thing you know, Ari is in your space, his boot clad feet are now mere centimeters from your well-loved sneakers as he towers over you. 

He holds out his hand as a gesture of goodwill, silently imploring you to take it. Your eyes lock with his as yours moves on its own accord – almost as if you’d been entranced. 

Your hand feels so small and delicate in his grasp. And for a second, you wonder what it might be like to lace your fingers together. How it would feel to hold onto him so intimately for just a few seconds longer. You sneak a glance up at Ari, only to watch as his pupils dilate, his nostrils flaring just slightly. It’s enough to let you know that you’re not the only one affected.

“You think we might be able to try this again?” His deep baritone washes over you like a balm. “You have my word I’ll do a much better job of, uh, keeping myself in check.” 

Yanking your hand away, all you can do is nod. Part of you almost wished the man would go back to acting like an asshole. At least then you would know how to handle him. This so-called charming and apologetic Ari was a different beast entirely.

“I–” You swallow thickly. “Yes, that’s fine.”

“Thank you for your kindness.” His easy smile has the nerve to do funny things to the butterflies in your belly. “And while I would hate to do anything that might spoil this good will, I would like to ask you a couple of questions right now.”  

Instantly suspicious, you open your mouth to deliver a curt “no”. However, having already anticipated this, Ari is quick to amend his request by promising not to be too invasive. He also insists that he’ll follow your lead. 

“If at any moment you want to stop, we’ll stop. You have my word on that too, darlin’.” He surveys the room, absentmindedly scratching at his jaw. “You good with me ensuring we have a little privacy?” Again you nod, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. 

Because at this point, it just didn’t make sense to kick the man out. Especially not when he seemed to be taking great pains to be respectful. You could only hope that he’d appreciate your cooperation enough to go bother someone else when you were through. 

Maybe it might be worth leading him back towards someone who’d actually appreciate his attention. Someone like your would-be frenemy, Charline Marshall. 

Seemingly encouraged by your response, the invasive bounty hunter hustles towards the door so that he could flip your sign from open to closed. And, unbeknownst to him, it also gives you a chance to begrudgingly appreciate just how good his ass looks in his Levi’s. 

Alright. So maybe you’d hold off on feeding Ari Levinson to Charline and her disciples – at least for right now.

“You know.” You cough, needing to give yourself a moment to recalibrate before you said or did something dumb. “I actually just remembered that I needed to fix a couple of things around the shop during my lunch break.”

An unruffled Ari simply smiles and winks back at you. “Thought you said you believed in your ability to multitask?”

You resist the urge to stick your tongue out at the smug bastard. Because he was right. You absolutely had said that. And then he’d had the gall to fucking listen. 

“Fine.” Shooting him a glare, you head over to the counter and toe-off your shoes. 

“Appreciate it, darlin’.” 

Just like last time, out comes his pen and tiny notebook. He flips it open to a new page before giving you his full attention. Meanwhile, you’re now hellbent on acting like he doesn’t exist. 

“How long have you owned your shop, Baubles & Quills?” 

If you were to look in his eyes at that moment, you would’ve seen them shining with genuine inquisitiveness. Almost as if he actually wanted to get to know you. 

“A few years.” You reply, bracing your hands on the flat surface of the desk. “I spent a large part of my childhood here, buried amongst books. My uncle left it to me when he passed. But I’m sure you already knew that.” 

Taking a deep breath, you send up a silent prayer to the Lord asking him not to let you fall before hefting yourself onto the counter with all the grace you can muster.  

“Maybe.” Ari concedes while jotting something down on his notepad. “But it’s different coming from – just what the hell are you doin’ woman?!”

“Checking out this light fixture.” You huff as you work to steady yourself.

“Any reason you couldn’t do that from the ground?” The bounty hunter surprises you by sounding more than a little stressed.

Confused by his response, you manage to spare a quick glance in his direction. Although your unlikely companion looks less than happy, you fail to fully grasp the nature of the problem. 

“Because I couldn’t quite tell if this whole panel was out, or just the one little section.” 

“Alright, well…” He drags an agitated hand through his already messy brown locks. “Now that you’ve seen it, how about you come on down from there?”

“Oh my goodness, Levinson.” An exasperated chuckle bubbles its way from your throat. “It’s just the counter. Save the freakout for when you find me on the flippin’ roof or something.” 

“You’re standin’ on the damned thing wearin’ nothing but socks. It’s like you’re askin’ to fall.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.”

“How the hell is my expressin’ concern about your safety bein’ dramatic?” 

“Next question, buddy.” You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing at the affronted look on the bounty hunter’s gorgeous face.

Ari forces himself to take a breath before attempting to return back to the task at hand. “I have it here that your Uncle is the late Lenny Barstowe. He was, by all accounts, an upstanding pillar of this community.”

“He was.” You agree, bending down to grab the duster resting near your feet. 

“You say he was your uncle, and yet you two don’t share the same last name.” He frowns when he notices your slight wobble. 

And for the tenth time in almost as many minutes he finds himself wondering why the fuck you didn’t hire someone to take care of shit like this for you? Hell, give him a ladder and a free afternoon and he’d handle things himself.      

“Wow. Nothing gets past you.” You sniff, trying to fight back a sneeze as dust goes flying. “They teach you those observation skills in private detective school?”

“Sure did.” Ari snorts without missing a beat, tucking the pen behind his ear. “First thing on the syllabus, in fact.”    

“Thought so.” 

“So glad we cleared that up.”

You can’t stop the small thrill that courses through you when you notice the newfound tick in his jaw. If you weren’t careful, you could find yourself growing addicted to that little zing in your blood. To that tiny spike in your pulse you felt every time you two sparred.  

“But if we could go back to your uncle, I’m sure losing him had to be hard – what with him being your only family.” He takes a turn fanning himself with his notebook. ”Was your friend, Martin, there for you during that difficult time?” 

That particular question actually makes you pause and reflect. You’d been so lost in grief back then, which is part of the reason it had taken you so long to claw your way out of that dark hole. And, if memory served, you’d done that majority of that clawing on your own.

“I’m sure he was around, Mr. Levinson.” Your answer sounds cagey, even to your own ears. “But I pretty much wore my grief like a sweater back then. And if I’m being honest, those first few months after losing him were nothing but a miserable haze.”    

“I know the feeling.” He murmurs as he scribbles on the page. 

“Look.” You blow out a breath as you attempt to gauge the distance between the desk and the ground. As of this moment, you officially regretted not grabbing your step stool. “I don’t know where Martin is or who he’s running from. All I know is that he was scared, but he refused to tell me anything more, okay?”

“Did he ask you for money?”

“Yes.” 

He’d also called you too. And while you choose to keep that little detail to yourself, you figure there was no harm in telling him about the money. At the time you’d had no idea you were potentially aiding and abetting a criminal. Or maybe you just hadn’t wanted to believe it.

“And did you give it to him?” The intense look in his beautiful blue eyes has you suddenly feeling foolish.  

“Yes.” 

It’s that one word, spoken barely above a whisper, that leaves Ari shaking his head. His gaze drops to the ground as he works to rein-in his temper. You have no idea what a struggle it is for him to do so – because he’s not upset with you. 

If anything, you’d just given him one more reason to run that slippery motherfucker into the goddamned ground. 

“How much did he get you for?” Even though Ari has calmed himself considerably, his tone still comes off harsher than he intends. 

“Almost $500.” You tell him, your face hot with embarrassment. “I suppose I should’ve asked more questions. You probably think I’m an idiot for –”

“It’s okay, darlin’.” He swiftly interjects, not wanting you to get upset. “You’re doin’ so great bein’ honest with me right now.” Unsure of what else to do, he tosses his notebook aside in favor of reaching for your hand. “I know this shit ain’t easy.”  

“I think I’m done for now.” You tell him, doing your best to avoid looking at your now joined hands. God, he really needed to stop doing that. “Please.”

“Okay.” He readily agrees as his thumb strokes along the ridge of your knuckles. “Then we’re done.” You watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows. “Are you gonna let me help you down off the counter before you kick me out?”

“It’s okay. Don’t want you to hurt yourself.” You mumble as you busy yourself with trying to figure out the easiest way to sit and scootch your way out of your current situation.

The last thing you needed was this man accidentally throwing out his back over some misplaced chivalry. 

To his credit, Ari decides to ignore your feeble protests. “C’mon and let me help you.” He repeats, gesturing for you to step towards the edge of the counter so that he can grab you by the waist. “And then I’ll be on my way.”

“Really, I’m fine.” You attempt to swat at his hands, which doesn’t actually work.

“C’mon, darlin’.” He assures you gently. “Just trust me.” The next thing you know, you’re suddenly being lifted into the air. “I got you.”

“Ack – I’m too heavy!” You squeal, immediately caught off guard by the way your legs briefly dangle in the air. Try as you might, you honestly could not remember the last time a man had picked you up. 

Your heart speeds up as he effortlessly sets you down on your feet, allowing your body to slide down the solid wall of his chest. Instinctively, your hands fly to his biceps in an effort to steady yourself. 

“Thank you.” You’re suddenly having a hard time breathing around this man. “But you really shouldn’t have done that. You could’ve hurt –”

“Sweetheart, you ain’t nothin’ but a feather.” Ari rumbles, his hands still resting firmly on your hips. 

“Somehow I doubt that.” You whisper, knowing that you should demand that he let you go. Except your body is too busy buzzing to actually cooperate. 

“Happy to prove you wrong any time.” While you suspect that he hadn’t really meant to say that, his smile is full of promise. “But right now, I’m afraid I’ve gotta head out.” Although it still takes another second for him to release you. 

Not that you’re complaining any. Which deep down you know could spell trouble for you. 

Before he leaves, however, Ari reaches into the front pocket of his jeans to hand you what looks a lot like a business card. “What’s this?” You mentally smack yourself in the forehead the moment the question leaves your mouth. 

“My card.” He responds as he now heads toward the door. “That’s my cell, just in case you need it.”

“Oh.”

“Call any time, day or night.” Ari’s gruff, no-nonsense tone goes straight to your core. “You remember somethin’ about Martin? Call me. You lookin’ for someone to stand guard while you lock up at night? Call me. You need to hear a friendly voice in the dark? Fucking call me.” 

His offer takes you by surprise. So much so, that you’re temporarily rendered speechless as you clutch the stiff piece of paper in your palm. While you weren’t sure if you’d ever take him up on his offer, you could certainly appreciate his generosity. 

“Thank you.” You rasp, your teeth going to nibble at your bottom lip.

“Any time, Duchess.” His head dips politely as he exits through the front door. “I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

And just like that he was gone, which meant you could finally breathe normally again. Strange butterflies once again fill your belly as you take your time examining the card your bounty hunter had left behind. While you weren’t sure if you’d ever call him, you decide it’s worth tucking into a zippered pocket in your purse before getting on with the rest of your day. 

Little did you know that you would come to need that tiny piece of paper sooner rather than later…  

END

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[matchamilkislover]

White Horse, 1. (a.a.)

pairing: knight!abby x princess!reader

cw: fantasy!au, fem!reader, eventual displays of fighting and violence bc it’s fantasy, kind of slow burn?, tension, reader has an attitude, tall af!abby bc size difference, royalty!au, mentions of arranged marriages, some mentions of au politics, abby in armor is a warning in itself

synopsis: you are the youngest princess of the royal family that rules over your kingdom, Aphrynia. now a young adult, you’ve come of age in a tense time, and your personal protection is of utmost importance — which is why the resignation of your previous personal knight means a rushed reassignment ceremony with little to no preface. That being said, why does the name of your new knight sound so familiar?

word count: 2.8k

a/n: this is gonna be so trope-heavy and romantic and cheesy and i don’t even care i’ve been giggling and kicking my feet this whole time

⊹ ⋆｡˚ ————————— 𓆩♡𓆪 —————————⊹ ⋆｡˚

“Princess, you really do need to get up.”

You groaned, rolling over in your excessively comfortable bed as your lady’s maid, Nina, started forcefully pulling the many blankets you had covering you off. Your proper mind knew that she was right, that you needed to get ready, but the pounding in your head begged otherwise; and right now, the pounding side was winning. You tried to sit up and open your eyes, but the bright sunlight instantly blinded you, causing you to groan and fall back again. Nina sighed.

“Either you get up, or I’m calling George and he can drag you out himself.”

That made you sit up. You’d had enough of your second eldest brother ripping you out of bed throughout your childhood to last a lifetime. Your legs already felt a phantom soreness at just the thought.

“Okay, okay, I surrender, I’m up…” you grumbled, swinging your legs over the edge of the mattress and tenderly standing on the cold floor. Nina rolled her eyes as she started gathering materials for you to bathe.

“I told you to ease up on the wine last night,” she scolded as you started shedding your nightclothes and trudged to your washroom.

You rolled your eyes in response and yawned. “Don’t judge me! You would let loose a little too if you knew it was your last night before getting assigned another overbearing knight,” you replied dramatically. These were the times that you both loved and resented that you and Nina had known each other since childhood; sometimes she knew you a little too well. Nina just chuckled and followed you.

A while later, you were clean and dry. And cold. You shivered as Nina helped you slip layer after layer of your intricate clothing on your body. “Why is it so frigid in here this morning? I can literally hear the fire going,” you whined as another shiver made your arms shake. Nina shrugged as she picked up another layer.

“The mornings have been getting colder lately,” Nina remarked thoughtfully. “Perhaps an off the shoulder dress wasn’t the best decision the seamstress could’ve made for today’s gown.” She grimaced as she eyed the off the shoulder masterpiece waiting to be adorned.

Your pout spoke for you. Even so, you had to admit the gown was rather lovely. The gauzy pink seemed to shimmer in the light, and you couldn’t help but stare at it in the mirror once you had finally put it on. Nina, however, still anxiously watched the time and rushed to finish getting you ready.

For whatever reason, one you weren’t exactly keen on understanding, being assigned a personal knight was something of a ceremony in the royal family, and was therefore to be treated as such. And ever since your former knight, Mattheo, had resigned not even a fortnight ago to wed and begin a life outside of his knighthood, you had been assigned a rotation of lower knights while a replacement was decided on. While you couldn’t blame Mattheo for wanting to have a different life and a family, you couldn’t help but resent his leaving just a little bit; he had been your personal knight since you were young, and you had grown to trust him like an uncle or a father. Whatever young, overconfident knight you would be assigned now would not be nearly as tolerable, of that you were certain.

Nina’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts and reawakened the pounding in your head. “Princess? Princess, we’ve got to go,” she harped, placing a guiding hand on your back. “Wouldn’t want to keep everyone waiting.” You nodded in agreement and started walking, trying your best to hide the grimace pulling at your face.

You could barely keep up with Nina’s quick steps as you navigated the corridors of the palace, your shoes clicking on the polished stone floors. “Nina,” you muttered through panting breaths, “You know you can slow down a little bit, right? It really isn’t that serious,” you pointed out. Nina shook her head.

“Sorry, princess, but I’m under strict orders to get you there on time. Promised the queen,” she replied with a wink sent your way. Your mouth gaped while your brows furrowed.

“Seriously? For a knight assignment? The fuck…” you muttered back, still grumpy from your hangover and unending headache. Nina clicked her tongue at you in disapproval.

“Princess! Language!” she scolded, holding back a giggle and not quite managing to suppress a tickled smile. You made an amused face in response and you both had to struggle to hold down your laughs as you passed knights and members of the court in the long corridors.

As you finally turned onto the corridor leading to the throne room, Nina cleared her throat to get your attention. “Please try your best not to seem hungover, princess,” she muttered through clenched teeth, “lest the queen come for my head.” You both stifled one last giggle before the doors to the throne room opened, and your arrival was announced to the small crowd standing inside.

You took a steadying breath, blanking your face as you delicately walked forward, desperately hiding your fight not to wobble in these godforsaken shoes. You kept your gaze steady on the front of the room, not wanting to risk an offhand glance at the crowd interrupting your focus.

You breathed a quiet sigh of relief when you reached the front and stood in place amongst your siblings, ignoring George’s knowing smirk and Elyssa’s disapproving look. Like always, your eldest brother, Philip, stayed as stone-faced as ever, and Henry, the fourth sibling, gave his best attempt at matching Philip’s ever-serious mood. Although he was closest to you in age, only being 18 months older, the two of you couldn’t be more different. He never seemed to possess the itch for mischief and adventure that you did, and instead followed your eldest brother like a puppy and tried to copy his every trait. You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes and turned towards the rest of the room.

Glancing at you to acknowledge your arrival, your parents rose as one, and your mother’s voice rang out in the spacious throne room. “Welcome, esteemed guests and friends, as we conduct our youngest daughter’s knight reassignment ceremony on this lovely morning. As many of us know, our youngest has quite the…lively spirit, and as she reaches marrying age, we’ve found it impertinent that we find a unique knight to ensure her safety amidst the happenings of that lively spirit.” A soft chuckle carried through the room, and you had to suppress another eye roll as your mother – the “ever-esteemed” queen – basically called you a burden who needed watching. Great. Exactly what you needed this morning.

Your mother continued her speech. “While the knight we’ve chosen for her assignment may not have the age to match her rank, her experience and accomplishments make her quite the perfect match to guard our lovely daughter. Thus, Knight Anderson, will you please approach?”

Your mind came to a sudden stop. ‘Her’? Your new knight was to be a female knight? Well that certainly makes things more interesting. And her name…Anderson. It sounded oddly familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. A young female knight, a respected, high-ranking one at that, was to be Mattheo’s replacement? Certainly she wouldn’t be quite as easy to slip past. But you had gotten creative over the years…

Your racing thoughts mixed with your eyes searching the crowd for this ‘Knight Anderson’, but came to a sudden halt when the knight finally stepped through to the front of the crowd, and the sight of her left your mouth hanging ever so slightly ajar. Although it had certainly matured since the last time you saw her, you would recognize that face anywhere.

9 YEARS AGO

Abigail Anderson was going to be the death of you. No matter where you went, she was somehow there, ready to show off and drive you up the fucking wall. Since her father was the royal family’s physician and a childhood friend of your father, and the two of you were so close in age, the two of you had been shoved together since you could read, and you couldn’t resent it more. She never failed to take an opportunity to prove herself against you; whether it was her intelligence in tutoring sessions, or showing off her strength and size outdoors while exploring or riding, if the chance was there, she took it.

You were both twelve, and while you were able to spend more time apart, tutoring and riding lessons were still spent together. You had started spending your free time with the daughters of the court members, while Abby spent her time training for knighthood or whatever it was that motivated her to sweat in a dirty training ground for hours a day. It wasn’t like you paid it too much regard; you were perfectly happy spending tea with your friends that you could actually relate to before retreating to the palace library to spend afternoons reading and exploring different worlds.

On one sunny spring day, Abby had shown up late to your joint riding lesson, and you were already annoyed since George had ruined your favorite riding boots by dropping them in a boiling, soapy wash basin while the maids weren’t looking, only for them to be found hours later and sorrowfully returned to your chambers. The twat. So when she came jogging up to the stables, your glare was already set upon her, and she preemptively rolled her eyes.

“I know, I know, training went over,” she retorted to your glare in an annoyed voice, raising her hands apologetically at your instructor.

You continued glaring as she saddled her horse and mounted the steed, flipping her braid behind her shoulder. Sensing the tension and not wanting to be a part of it, the instructor casually instructed the two of you to take a simple ride through the naturalistic grounds surrounding the palace during your normal lesson time. You nodded curtly and took off in a simple trot, Abby quickly following and settling into a matching trot beside you.

“Heard about what happened to your boots,” she remarked casually, not even glancing your way. But you knew what she was doing, and you already weren’t in the mood for it. She kept pushing anyway.

“What a waste,” she continued, clicking her tongue. “You poor thing, how will you ever survive?” You could feel her smirk without looking. Trying to be the bigger person, you only sighed and kept ignoring her.

She laughed. “What, don’t want to admit that you’re upset over a pair of boots? It’s okay, you are a princess, after all.” Even though she was right, it wasn’t like you wanted to admit it to Abby, of all people. You really liked those boots! Princess or not, you were allowed to be upset about it! You could say that, but it’s not like Abby would care. She’d just keep teasing you about the boots, or poking you about some other stupid thing that was sure to push your buttons. So you kept your head straight forward and kept riding. She wasn’t satisfied.

“Too good to talk to me now, are you? You’d rather be at a prissy tea party with your prissy friends?” she said, mocking a posh accent and expression as she spoke. And you just snapped.

“You know what Abby, just because you don’t like me or think I’m shallow or spoiled for whatever reason, that doesn’t mean you have to go after my friends too! You don’t even know them! You know, I don’t think you even know me like you think you do, so why don’t you just shut up already,” you exploded, taking off on your horse like a bullet and leaving Abby shouting after you in the dust. You heard her call your name after you a few times, but you ignored her, clenching your teeth as your resolve hardened and you quickened your pace even more.

By the time Abby started galloping after you, you were too far ahead to hear her. You just kept riding and riding, not stopping until you reached the creek that bubbled along one of the far edges of the palace grounds. Hopping off your horse, you gently smoothed the mare’s chestnut hair as you watched the clear water run up and over the rocks in the creek. Remembering what Abby had said, you clenched your other fist and loudly groaned in frustration, holding back the urge to go as far as to stomp on the ground.

You took a deep breath to steel yourself as you heard hooves approaching quickly from behind you. Abby called your name again, but you barely even turned your head, fist still clenched. She scoffed and dismounted, walking up to you casually.

“You know you can’t ride off like that,” she remarked. You continued to ignore her. “C’mon, you know I didn’t mean it like that,” she continued, leaning to try to get in your line of sight.

You only scoffed in reply and turned away, speed walking along the creek bed. Abby kept following you, reaching out to grab your arm once she was close enough. You gasped angrily and whipped around, hair slinging from side to side. You tried to pull away, but her grip was tight. And you panicked. No one had ever grabbed you like that, and you were so shocked, you couldn’t help but go into panic mode.

“Will you– let go– get your hands OFF of me–” you shrieked, starting to flail and struggle in her grasp. Abby also began to panic in response to you, and before you knew it, you were slipping on the creek bed, and the two of you tumbled into the creek, a tangle of limbs and shocked exclamations as you fell into the surprisingly icy water.

As soon as you hit the water, you gasped, inhaling water instead of air and immediately choking. You floundered, desperately coughing and trying to eject the water from your lungs. Finally, your flailing arms found a large rock to land on, and you started pulling yourself out of the water. At the same time, you could hear Abby climbing the water as well, and you got distracted, your hand slipping as you crashed back down into the creek. Another breath of water infiltrated your mouth and throat, and you continued to choke and cough, unable to gain enough footing to grab back onto the rock. Finally, a pair of stronger arms latched onto your own, stopping your flailing to pull you out of the water and onto the creek bed.

Flopping onto the ground, you coughed out the remaining water from your lungs until you could finally take clear breaths, anger returning with the consistent oxygen. You shot up suddenly, cutting Abby off as she opened her mouth to ask if you were okay. “You are despicable, Abby Anderson! Despicable!” You shouted as you pushed hair out of your face and straightened your soaking clothes. “I am leaving. You need to give me time to return my horse and escort myself inside, lest I see your despicable face and decide to strangle you once and for all!” You continued as you mounted your horse, giving her one last dirty look before riding off as fast as you could.

It wasn’t until the next morning when Abby wasn’t present at your lessons that you discovered that she had left for official training. And no matter how angry you were at her, you couldn’t help but be at least a bit disappointed that she hadn’t said goodbye.

THE PRESENT

Your mother’s voice was all but muted background in your head as you watched Abby – apparently now known as ‘Knight Anderson’ – approach you and your family at the front of the throne room. A lump settled in your throat, and your mouth felt impossibly dry watching her armored form get closer and closer. You barely registered your mother reciting practiced phrases as Abby knelt in front of her and bowed her head towards the queen. It was like you were outside your body, watching everything happen, only an observer as Abby stood and she and your mother approached you. You were sucked back into your body as Abby knelt in front of you, taking one of your polished hands in hers and bowing her head towards it.

“Knight Abigail Anderson,” your mother began, her voice confident and steady in contrast to the nerves that rocked your body, leaving you lightheaded. “Do you solemnly vow to dedicate your life to the protection and safety of the princess?” Abby looked up at you through her lashes, and you felt like you could faint.

“I do.”

[luveline]

& speaking of the Steve zombie au series —

would you ever maybe give us a little tidbit of maybe Steve and reader where he finally admits to her not only just how petrified he was when she got kidnapped, but also how much he’s realized that he cannot live without her? I could feel his walls coming down in that last excerpt and felt our boy wanting to just UNLEASH all of his emotions to us and the comforted one vs the comforter, like — ugh my baby 🥲

even if you never wrote this tho your writing and this series is literally unmatched like oh my fucking god I love you and don’t even know you???

thank you so much ♥ for you, fem!reader zombie!au steve

"You want to what?" 

"I want to move into the pantry." 

You stare at Steve, your shock melding into unhappiness. "No, you don't." 

He laughs at your frown and sits up a little taller. He almost drops his tray. "I do! I miss you all the time, I don't see why we chose separate jobs in the first place." 

You look down at your own tray. You and Steve have chanced the unnatural winter sunshine to eat in the quietude outside of the cafeteria, but it's cold despite the sunshine and you don't like the food today and now Steve is… doing whatever it is he's doing. 

"I miss you too," you say. "You want this?" 

"You need to eat." 

"I don't like–" 

"That's never stopped you before," he teases lightly. 

"Forgive me for being picky," you say, and you're not being sarcastic. It's an amazing privilege at this point, and in these circumstances, to be able to turn food away. "You eat it for me, please." 

"We can go to the shop tonight and pick something you like," he says. 

'The shop' is just that, a small store of any excess pantry stuff, luxuries people don't strictly need. You can trade or you can cash in a 'credit' or a few for something. There's been some great stuff in there lately, like marshmallows and a huge box of three musketeers bars. 

"No…" You don't want him to buy you treats. It's like a reward for being difficult. "You can't come to work in the pantry, there isn't anything for you to do." 

"Then I'll do something else. I just want to be here with you." 

"But," you say, alarmed, "you can't do that. We can't be like that." 

You've only just got back to normal. Not normal, because this isn't normal, not this community or the apocalypse or what happened to you, but better than it had been. You get up in the mornings at the same time and eat breakfast in the cafeteria, where Hopper hosts town hall, and then you part for your separate jobs. You work in the kitchen, Steve works as a sort of security guard patrolling the fences of the community to stop a geek invasion, and occasionally leaves the College to bring things back from the abandoned shopping mall a couple of miles away. 

"Be like what?" he asks, sounding like he's about to sulk with you as he puts his tray at the floor by his feet. 

"Codependent." 

"We're already codependent. I think we're allowed." 

"See, that's what everybody says, but–" 

You put your tray down on the floor because you doubt Steve's going to eat it. It clinks next to Steve's with a more aggressive emphasis than you'd wanted.

You look at him, really look at him, eyes scanning his eyes and his mouth and the way he's holding his shoulders. He's tense. He's anxious. 

"Stevie," you say, and offer him your hand. 

He doesn't take it. "But what?" he asks. 

"I need you to be happy," you say, "how can you be happy if you're always worried about me? And when you're not worried about me it's because you're giving up the things you like doing to be near me." 

Your voice is quiet. It's hard to say all that out loud, one half of you worried he'll laugh in your face and say you've got it all wrong, and the other worried you'll hurt his feelings. 

"I need you." 

"Steve, you–" 

"I do," he says, staring a hole into your thigh, "I need you. I went fucking crazy without you." 

"You would've been okay." If something happened to me. 

He shakes his head. "No, I would've been a mess. Probably forever." 

This isn't the first time you've seen Steve vulnerable, but it's been a long time. He's been your pillar of strength, he's held you through nightmares and moments of unreality. He hadn't once wavered. 

You push onto your feet. You stand in front of him, weaving your fingers into the soft hair at the back of his head. 

"Steve," you say, pulling his head into your chest. You don't continue, wanting to say, Why didn't you tell me you felt like that? 

But he had. Hadn't he? He'd crossed the wilderness in the dead winter on a maybe that you'd be somewhere he could reach. 

His shoulders shift under your hand. You think, horrified, that he might be crying. 

"Steve," you whisper, pressing your lips into his hair. "It's okay. You saved me, you know?" 

"But what if I didn't get there in time? You were all alone. You were tied up," he says.

"I'm sorry." You don't know what else to say. You're so sorry. That he would have to think that, and see you like that. "It's my fault. I'm sorry." 

His arms slide behind your back and lock you in so tightly you feel like each of his fingers is touching your spine. You scramble to keep a hold on him. 

"I– you know, I lost my shit in the communal bathrooms and Robin had to tell me to get ahold of myself," he admits, trying to be lighthearted. He sounds strangled. 

"I didn't know that," you say, your eyes filling with tears. 

You have no clue if Steve is crying now. You think he might be. He's unsteady under your hands, the side of his face buried in your sternum, his hands clinging to you like you're a liferaft at sea. You try to calm him down, and find, ashamed of yourself, that you don't know how. 

"I'm so sorry, Steve," you mumble, sniffing his hair. He smells like your shared soap. 

All you can do is let him hug you. Eventually, his grip loosens, and he pull his face from your torso to look up at you. 

"Squeezing you…" He rubs his hands softly over the places he'd gripped. 

"You didn't hurt me. You'd have to try way harder than that, Harrington," you say. 

He reaches up for your face and you let him take it, bending at the waist for a kiss. You ignore the dampness under his eyes at first, thinking maybe that's what he wants. You kiss him all wonky in your desperation to feel it, and you laugh wetly as you lean back. 

You wipe his cheeks. "I love you," you say, and you both fill up with tears again. 

"This is embarrassing," Steve says, laughing with you.

You nod fiercely. Super embarrassing. 

You wouldn't have it any other way, though. You throw your arms around his neck for a second time and kiss the top of his head until you can't feel your lips.

[1863-project]

It has been an incredibly difficult 24 hours for me.

On Saturday I brought Murphy to the vet to have them run bloodwork since he started drinking and urinating excessively and I suspected diabetes. All was okay at that point, but he started seeming more off and not using his litter box at all on Sunday, and yesterday morning he didn't accept a treat from me, which is a massive alarm bell so I told my co-workers I'd have to work from home and ran him to an emergency vet not too far from my apartment.

(Image description: Murphy, a large black, brown, and white tabby, snuggles nervously into his owner's leg as they sit on a black couch in an emergency room. End image ID.)

Turns out the baby beast was severely dehydrated and constipated due to said dehydration, so they got him on fluids and actually allowed me to sit in a side room with him and work from there with him at my side, which was incredibly kind.

(Image description: Murphy, a large black, brown, and white tabby, sits in a litter box in a vet crate and wears a blue fabric neck cone. End image ID.)

He had to wear a cone.

He wasn't too interested in eating at dinnertime at first, nibbling on some wet food a little bit, but of course he happily ate chicken. I went home for dinner and then came back to check on him later and to my delight he had eaten some of the chicken and accepted more from me. He looked a lot more alert already.

(Image description: Murphy, a large black, brown, and white tabby, eats chicken from a tiny bowl held in his owner's hand. End image ID.)

At this point I went back home to shower and sleep because I looked like I'd been hit by a truck and hadn't taken care of myself at all.

He did well overnight, and I was allowed to take him home this morning and bring him to his regular vet for a follow-up. Both the regular vet and the emergency vet's bloodwork results indicated diabetes, so yesterday I dropped off an insulin prescription for him and we're starting that today.

(Image description: Murphy, a large black, brown, and white tabby, is in a green pet stroller on a city street. His front right leg is bandaged in green gauze. End image ID.)

I told my co-workers I'd come in late once he was settled in and they told me to just work from home again today, so that's what I'm doing now. He's snuggled in next to me on the couch getting some proper rest right now and I'm so relieved to have him back here and know he has something really treatable going on instead of worse alternatives.

(Image description: Murphy, a large black, brown, and white tabby, resting on a pillow with his head on his owner's lap. End image ID.)

Things are going to be different now, but we're through yesterday, and we're going to be okay. Murphy's 15th birthday is on Sunday and I wouldn't want him to miss it for the world. I'm just relieved we're going to be celebrating it after all.

I might not be too responsive for a while, because I need to focus on getting into a rhythm with him and his treatment and making sure he's settled back in. Thank you all for your patience and understanding as he recovers from yesterday and I try to get my own footing back.

[blushydiorrb]

blushydior

    ♡⊹˚₊ 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄 ₊˚⊹♡

𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅: 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐃𝐀𝐘

this is nothing but an enhancement of the person already within you. this is not to say you aren’t perfect in your own beautiful way and you need to change your whole self because you’re “not up to par”. i make this post to tell you to never put a limit on your growth because change is constant and the smallest things make the absolute biggest difference. this is an endless self improvement journey where you will make clear of your beautiful qualities buried underneath, embody the person you’ve always wanted to become, and find new lovely sides of yourself in the process. the idea of change, even in the slightest, shouldn’t be feared but instead welcomed. there is nothing better than evolving and being a better person than you were yesterday. remember that you can change at any time. you don’t have to wait until a new year, month, or week and note that it’s never too late to do so. there is no other time than now. this post will always be here for you to look back on. and of course, despite the mentions of dream girl, this post is for EVERYONE.

to start and this is very crucial, ask yourself a series of questions:

what are my deepest values in life? envisioning the dream person i desire to be, do the habits i hold support me on this journey? what are some things i need to let go of that i’ve been putting off? how have i been feeling these past few months? do the people i socialize with inspire & encourage me in my endeavors?

really take your time to think about what you value, ways you can support them and analyze things in your current life.

now that you’ve got the foundation, let’s begin and become the dream girl you want to be. 

do right by you. you can’t do right by others if you abandon yourself for the sake of them.

              𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

bring out the journal because we are going on a self discovery journey! 

what are your goals that you’ve been wanting to achieve? start a business, do better in school and be at the top of your class, getting to places on time, be more open to meeting new people, reading more books a month, being more elegant, gentle, and kind…

what does the dream person in your mind look like? what habits and kind of friends do they have? how do they spend their time? how do they carry themselves? 

what are some things you need to let go of in order to successfully embody this person? socializing with toxic people, not having structure in the day, excess social media usage, substance consumption, sleeping in, procrastinating, victimizing, the negative self-talk, gossip, letting people step all over you…

what are some habits you’ll need to cultivate? lessen social media usage, waking up and going to sleep early, eating healthy, exercising, picking up old and new hobbies again, more walks, starting work right away, being kind to yourself…

                   𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐗

digital declutter: delete any and all useless apps. most of them are to be real with you. you don’t have to check your influencer’s new posts and vlogs and you will be okay if you miss out on the newest internet trends. for a little more push on letting go of social media, read my post on digital minimalism here.

remember, that this is a self development journey. you can’t and won’t accomplish the goals and habits of the it girl you want to be if you’re on your phone for more than half the day. be raw with yourself. let go of social media.

social group: really take some time to think about the people you hang around with. are they supportive? negative? do they talk bad about others? criminals? are they goal setters and high-achievers? do they support you and your goals? do they hang around with bad people?

the people you socialize with tells a lot about your character. seriously! if you hang out with people who treat others like garbage (for no reason), if THEY knowingly socialize with people who do tons of horrible things, where do YOUR morals lie? yes, they have been nice to you and you’ve known them for years but that excuse begins to fade when you are striving to be a better person and morals come into play. the environment you tolerate will hold you back. 

don’t feel bad about doing this. i did at first but it’ll go away, trust me when i say you’ll do so much better. 

most importantly, self care: how you carry and treat yourself shows others how to treat you. once you acknowledge what you are worthy of, you will not allow yourself to settle for anything that doesn’t meet your standards and much less allow yourself to tumble back into old, unhealthy ways.

enforce boundaries on yourself and others. get rid of the habits of bashing yourself when you make an honest mistake or your work performance/grades are low, stop saying horrible things when you look in the mirror, stop complaining and staying up at night for unnecessary reasons, damaging your health, stop letting people insult you, quit over explaining yourself.

detox ending note: again, take it easy with yourself. the more you exercise and strengthen your self-discipline, the easier this detox will be for you. you can start by applying a few habits at a time until it’s basically a part of a routine and go on from there but you have to remember to take it seriously in implementing it into your daily routine/life.

tell yourself that you are doing amazing because you are! you are striving to be better you every single day! how is that not admirable? you are always doing your best even if it may not feel like it.

     𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

now that you have a clear vision of things even if it’s little! you need to do in order to fully embody your dream self, it’s time to put things into motion.

how can you do this? enforcing self-discipline and setting boundaries. 

think of motivation as a power boost at the starting line and your foot pressing on the pedal of your car is discipline, it’s what keeps you going forward on your journey. motivation, as fleeting as it is won’t bring you far but self-discipline will. 

             DEVELOPING SELF DISCIPLINE

self-discipline: the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.

boundaries

a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

a limit of a subject or sphere of activity.

remind yourself of the life you want to live and the person you desire to be, remember that all of your desires have always been within reach. you just have to break out of the barrier you’ve put up for yourself, fight through the fear and the “what if’s” and just do it! the person you wish to be is already within you. 

thinking of and wanting to start is one thing but actually starting, no matter how small has already moved mountains you can’t yet see. 

                         WHERE TO START

self-discipline and boundaries go hand in hand. setting healthy boundaries will shine light on the path you want to take by making sure you’re staying protected by actions made by you and other people and discipline keeps you in check so that you can go about your self improvement journey the best that you can!

this can look like…

overcoming the urge to wallow in past failures and instead looking forward to a chance at a new beginning.

putting yourself first. taking care of your mind, body, and soul.

getting out of bed to finish your tasks even if you wanted to sleep in.

correcting yourself when you were slipping up on an old habit without self criticism.

making sure your boundaries allow you to grow and fix them as you seek fit

learning the best ways to say no and yes

being more considerate and kind to yourself and others.

not letting futile thoughts, ideas, and actions hinder your progress.

finally putting forth projects you’ve pushed aside. 

picking yourself back up after a difficult time even if it took a while.

more on boundaries here: BOUNDARIES 101

habits to acquire:

thinking of which times you felt down and uplifted and figuring out what contributed to those feelings. avoid habits and situations that don’t serve you and bring in more of what made you feel good about yourself and how you can further enhance that experience.

not rushing your personal journey

having a set routine. morning + night ideas.

standing firm on your boundaries

stop comparing.

becoming a digital minimalist

identifying with old habits and perceptions of yourself

investing in your appearance (because pampering is relaxing!)

not caring about what others think of you

taking care of your mind, body, and soul. tuning into what you need and what is best for you, fully influenced and putting things into motion because it’s what you truly want, not for pleasing others or trying to “fit in”

enjoying stillness

indulging in old and new hobbies every day. make it a priority!

more ideas here!

CONTINUING TO STRENGTHEN DISCIPLINE

how do habits form? how do people get better at what they set their minds to? by figuring out what works for them and what doesn’t, what their roadblocks are and from then on, repetition and consistency. 

keep in mind that healing and improvement is subjective. make it work for you so that you are setting yourself up for success. take what you see from posts like these, videos, and books and refine it to make it fit perfectly with how you would like things to go.

take the habits you intend to leave behind and the ones you’d like to acquire and map out how you would go about leaving the past in the past to welcome in the new. 

figure out what your roadblocks are. when there comes a time where it’s hard to continue forward on your path, tune into your body and mind. what is it telling you? there is something that is bothering you that needs to be addressed. are you well rested? have you had enough water today? are you overstimulated? are there any illnesses that can easily flare up and be the reason why you’re feeling this way? 

don’t beat yourself up for feeling demotivated and unreasonably drained. most of the time, it’s really not the case. you just need to figure out what is going on and address it gently and sometimes you won’t really know what’s going on until later on and that’s okay! 

i would always feel drained or overstimulated with my depression, adhd, and chronic fatigue. it would cause me to flare up and enter episodes (depressive and manic). the things i would realize was that it was either caused by: an triggering/traumatic event, intense emotions that didn’t have an outlet, continuous outings. and sometimes flares up will just happen and i began to understand that. 

i didn’t blame myself for having illnesses. i just grew aware that what really matters is: i get through it every. single. time. and i will be okay even if i literally felt my world was crashing down on me yet again.

something that can help when dealing with episodes is that when you feel it coming on, prepare yourself so you can get through it even if it makes the experiences just a little bit better by 1%. taking a shower and brushing your teeth, cleaning up your space, gathering snacks and easy to make meals, telling a trusted loved one you won’t be available but might need their support, trying your best to go on walks even if it’s hard, putting on comfortable clothes, etc.

which one works for you? working your way up, going all in or both? it really all depends on what this method applies to. if you think changing your routine by the slightest will be a good step, do it or if you feel confident that deleting all the apps on your phone all at once is something you want to do, go all in.

keep track of your accomplishments. tracking your accomplishments will show how much you’ve done and keep you on your feet! nothing beats the feeling than looking back at all the things you’ve done before heading towards the rest of your goals with your head high. anything is possible. remind yourself that you can do it. sort it to yearly, monthly, and daily to do lists! it’s always the best thing to look at when there are times where you don’t feel like you did “enough”. your effort is more than enough!

and so you take a few days to rest. relaxing, taking a vacation… does this mean you’re being inconsistent? absolutely… not. duh? resting is being productive. putting yourself first IS self care! reward yourself with relaxing days spent by traveling, resting, going out etc. do what makes you happy and be safe. keeping a balance is SUPER important!

“take things slow with yourself. if your body wants to rest, let it rest. let your mind rest as well by letting go all the worries of “why you’re not active”. who cares if you take a slow day? do you know how much you’ve been through? the least you can do for yourself is be comfortable in your own bed without a care in the world. you’ve experienced enough guilt. let yourself be free knowing that you deserve to rest. you deserve moments of stillness. enjoy the now. it’s all we have. we’re not always meant to be up and running. we simply weren’t made that way. there is beauty in stillness, peace, and quiet. don’t put it to shame. instead, let your mind, body, and soul experience more of it.

do things at your own pace. if you think you can get up, brush your teeth and that’s all that you can do for the day, so be it. don’t force yourself to do things you can’t handle. you’ll be doing more harm than good. take it day by day. add an extra task as days go on. do something you believe will be fulfilling like going on a quick walk around the block, going to the store to get a drink, baking a treat, sitting outside for a few minutes at a time.”

— blushydior in be kind to yourself. healing is a journey.

      𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔

read this with conviction: 

“as of this very moment, i am leaving my old and undesired self behind; the past mistakes, the unhealthy habits, how i used to treat myself and the way i allowed others to treat me, and all the pain i have held on to for so long. it’s all gone now. even if i may or may not have a clear vision of the dream person i am now embodying, i will remain open minded and brave into learning and growing each and everyday. i am not my past mistakes nor my trauma. i’m safe and secure now. and because i’m aware of my infinite power of having full control of my reality, i am rewriting my story.”

you are not your past mistakes. you are not the negative words you have been told. you are who you want to be. everything in your world holds absolutely no meaning unless you assign it meaning thus, giving it power. turn a blind eye to things that don’t serve you, put yourself first and watch how you will bloom vibrantly. 

      𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅.

NOTHING IS OUT OF REACH. everything you want is already within you, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 

GIVE PERFECT A MEANING OF YOUR OWN! you are still an it girl if you make mistakes, you are still a healthy, recovering person with a few very tough days this week.

you are perfect for:

taking it easy 

always trying your best even if it doesn’t feel like it

making a mistake and learning from it

telling yourself: “i had a tough day today but it’s okay! i’m going to rest and take it easy. i’m okay. i am always doing my best. there’s nothing to worry about. tomorrow will be an amazing day.”

allowing yourself to cry, feel, and express your thoughts and emotions

putting your need first

using fear as an opportunity to grow

                YOU ARE PERFECT LIKE YOU.

             REMEMBER: THIS IS A JOURNEY

you will grow at your own pace naturally.

don’t compare yourself to others, they too had a past and obstacles to overcome (and still do!) to get where they are at right now. 

don’t rush into things, handling more than you could at once.

don’t beat yourself up for not knowing certain things earlier. everyone learns and realizes things differently. 

this is not a race, there’s no routine that is supposed to be one size fits all. this is a self paced journey. you will realize and see things at a different perspective as events unfold, you will outgrow the people around you and the bad habits as you find yourself at a more stable chapter in your life. don’t rush, don’t compare, just keep looking forward.

               𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

i have fully embodied my definition of a dream girl/boy/person.

i carry myself with full confidence and elegance.

there is not a day that goes by where i don’t do my best. 

i’m beautiful, intelligent, hardworking, kind, and gentle.

i am the best version of myself.

success is inevitable for me. i am successful at everything i do.

i have all of my desired qualities.

i become better and better each and every day!

my self awareness increases every second. i have the most perfect mental diet.

it’s so easy for me to persist in new and beneficial thoughts. flipping thoughts is just way too easy.

i am in full control of my reality. i am fully aware of my potential and i will never let anything or anyone affect me.

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

— Zen Shin

☆ here is the google doc (and better) version! ☆

[mazeinthemiroh]

[soft thoughts]

- i love the idea of minho being so fragile and sweet to his partner, that his teasing isnt excessive and he just pampers them with compliments all the time

- hyunjin painting a pic of his partner while lana del rey plays in the background.

- jisung being shy receiving light kisses on his bare back

- jeongin constantly linking pinkies with partner when they’re out in public or sitting beside each other.

- chan sucking light, lazy marks on your neck when he’s stressed from working

- baking all day with felix by the time you guys are done, the sun is setting and the light peeks through the curtains while you guys take a nap on the couch in each others arms

- seungmin reading random entries of his diary before bed

- being in an almost suffocating hug with binnie after he comes back from tour and he doesnt let you go and follows you around like a puppy

thank you for sending these in omg i love your soft thoughts so much ;-;

- i've been thinking about bf minho lately and i just think that, ofc, he will be such a sweetheart. people think he's scary or rude but like, be for real... like we all know he's just the biggest softie in the world, he isn't fooling anyone. first of all, he's a cat person. like... who wouldn't trust him? we see the way he handles his babies with such care and love in his eyes. and we see, for certain members, he has a massive soft spot for. obviously hannie; the way he looks at him... that's pure love right there. but also felix and jeongin he is very tender and gentle with. and i strongly feel that the way he treats those member sis very simialr to the way he would treat his s/o. ofc he would be a lot more physically affectionate. i feel like once he's entered that comfortable stage with you there's like no turning back. then he's full fluff mode.

thank you for listening to my ted talk 😚

- BABBEEEEEE you did not just mention lana del rey to me like how did you know i was a fan??? ahh, amazing. hyunjin has amazing taste and we've heard him sing a lana song on a live before with that beautiful voice of his. of course, being the artists he is, your his inspiration, and he would want to paint or sketch you regularly. and to romanticise it even more? queen lana herself, serenading you both with her voice in the background.

"it's you, it's you, it's all for you. everything i do. i tell you all the time, heaven is a place on earth with you~"

- yeah because jisung is such a smug little shit something, stealing kisses here and there. but the MINUTE you catch him off guard - perhaps when he has just gotten out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist - and trail kisses on his back, his whole body freezes. he feels blood rush to his cheeks as he slowly starts to relax into you touch, letting you kiss wherever you want...

- why are you making me cry okay YES jeongin isn't a massive PDA person but the small things matter most. and there's nothing that gives him more butterflies than interlinking pinkies with you. there's something so gentle and even vulnerable about the act that makes his heart flutter.

- you're making me DIZZY imagine you sitting in his studio (the way every single bangchan ff starts off in) and sitting on his lap while he does his work. but he's getting frustrated and it's late at night and all he wants to do is go home and cuddle up to you and sleep. having you in his arms relaxes him way more than if he was by himself. but sometimes he will feel mischievous and lean closer, a small grin on his features as he lightly grazes his lips against the skin of your neck. he responds to your shivers by getting a bit more heated, lightly sucking on your skin as you lean in deeper... he has you right were he wants you.

- felix loves baking dates and will gladly spend the whole day trying new recipes with you and making delicious treats! but by the time you guys finished, you realise it's dark out. so, what's for dinner? all your cookies and brownies and other goods, of course! you two bask in your amazing baking skills as you cuddle up on the sofa, exhausted and filled to the brim with your own creations.

- seungmin surprises himself when he re-reads things he's written in his diary way in the past. "did you really feel that way?" he mused out loud, whilst you look over at him from the other side of the bed, smiling gently. soemtimes he would read certain entries to you out loud; the ones that aren't too personal and deep. just light-hearted ones that'll make you laugh. or ones about his feelings for you <3

- oh he ain't letting you go. and say goodbye to your lungs because they've gone too. i see chnagbin fully tackle you to the ground in a smothering hug because he hasn't seen his baby in so long?? what else is he supposed to do?? nope he's not letting you go, and so you'll just have to stay pressed up against his chest, big soft arms wrapped around you, and aggressive kisses from every single angle.

[sminiac]

I drank a tea way too late at night and now it's almost 7am with no sleep so pardon me if I'm totally incoherent but. I've been playing my death metal favourites all night and I can't stop thinking of like. Xikers with a super scary chains+spikes metalhead s/o... Who among them would be intimidated and submissive to them and who would rise up and give them a challenge, rough them up like the bed is a mosh pit... I have my own ideas already but I'm curious to what others would think

I like the way you think🤭

At times Minjae has some lip to him, so I feel like he’d enjoy the taunting aspect to it, like purposefully being excessively difficult with you, whiny refusals and muttering back complaints under his breath when you ask something of him, he’s continuous in doing it only loud enough for you to hear, but muttered so it isn’t distinct enough to properly make out. It’s really all a ploy to get you riled up, quietly admires you with darting eyes, your aesthetic an entirely new sight to him that’s done not in a disingenuous way, he can’t help but fawn over you, especially when you’re being mean, when you aren’t treating him like delicate glass. Being used yet simultaneously taken care of would definitely be a sort of coping mechanism for him, knows he’s in safe hands so he just completely lets go, he’s yours, utterly and completely.

Ex: He’d definitely have a thing for particularly sharp jewelry, or even nails, the pleasure you provide his cock with mitigating the burning sting of something sharp being dragged across his thighs/chest that’s not quite sharp enough to break skin, but it’s something about the red lines appearing in the aftermath that has him wanting more.

Junmin would honestly, in my opinion, be quite the wildcard, I feel like surface level most would assume that he’d submit with ease, but something about him is telling me that he wouldn’t. Well, most of the time. I’d say maybe 50/50, like sometimes he’s whimpering out pleas that you: “Be mean to me, want you to be mean.” And would secretly enjoy the way you handle him so firmly, holding him by the square of his jaw, forcing him to watch the way your hand glides up and down his cock, a few degrading words slipping while you’re riding him, acting out only so he can receive more, but he’d also like to see someone as intimidating as you brought down to a whimpering puddle beneath him, because of him.

Ex: maybe it’s just me though, but I think he’d be so taunting about it, loves to point out everything, making fun of you but promises to make you feel good, that he’ll make up for it. I think the juxtaposition of being perceived as more soft and sweet vs enjoying being the one in charge is something that would feed into this too. Also, having his arms and legs restrained would be something he’s into, depends on the day.

For Sumin… now I had to come back to do him last because if I thought about it for too long my heart would break through the interior of my chest. I’m gonna play into the mean!Sumin thing I brought up recently because the image I have of him in my head fits a little too perfectly, but he’d definitely be the most aggressive, by far. Because tell me he wouldn’t stick his fingers down your throat to shut you up while he’s got you backed up against a wall, fucking up into you, his pace brutal, unfaltering. He can be so sweet and praising but if you want the. he’s saying nothing to you other than utter filth.

Ex: let me stop right there, but his arms 😵‍💫 putting you in a headlock??? Nah okay, I’m done let me chill out. He’d have a thing for stretched ears (self indulgent?) thinks they’re so cool, especially the tapers lol.

I think there’s no way Jinsik would wanna put up a fight against you, the most he’d have in his arsenal is a few weak snaps that he’d quickly apologize for, taking his words back as he’s scrambling to keep you close to him, sweet thing, just wants to feel you, wants you all over him. The type to be so fascinated by your level of self expression, brags about it, countless compliments whispered to you in public when he’s feeling needy and just can’t wait until you’re back at the dorms. Thinks it’s sexy how you take on the dominant role, has a thing for egging you on, “You gonna use me? God- please do, ‘s all I want, however you want me I’m all yours, only yours.”

Ex: would have a thing for his hair being pulled, and not the dainty tugs at his scalp but forcefully moving his head by a simple fist full of his hair, wants to be messed with, wants to be marked up, in whatever way you possibly can. Also, having a thing for his cock being hit/slapped, tries so hard not to cum on the spot, but if your spitting on it after, stroking him gently to make up for your harshness in quiet then he can’t help it.

Hyunwoo… now listen, this may be crazy but I can see him holding you down, like face down ass up with one arm, the other cracking harsh, self indulgent slaps against you, likes seeing how red your ass gets, his jaw pulled tight when you’re garbling out jumbled cries that it: “Hurts, Woo it stings- more!” over the wet sound of your cunt repeatedly swallowing him in. Would also have a thing for teasing you to the brink of tears, feigning empathy with a dramatic bump to his lip as his hand smooths against the irritated skin. “Poor baby, but you’re doing so good f’me, taking my cock so well. Makes me wonder how people would react to seeing you so obedient, letting me fuck you like this.”

Ex: a favourite position would have to be the mating press, likes seeing you cry while he’s fucking into you at an incomprehensible pace, the tip of his cock bumping into a place that has your vision going fuzzy at the edges. Pride swells inside in his chest when he sees that your eye makeup is completely ruined, especially if you use a lot of eyeliner/dark eye shadow.

[cupids-chamber]

— 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 ; 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃

I actually wanted to say this yesterday, but it was April fools day so nobody would quite take me seriously when I say, I’m leaving this fandom. It was a nice time here, really. I just find the fandoms sudden surge of popularity and recent behavior pretty toxic. If someone gets bent on the hell hole that is cancellation, the fandom will spread even more excessive lies in order to run this person into a corner, and sully their reputation. 

That and I’ve seen a lot of people go through shit and get hate for doing anything out of the box, it’s so weird to me and it’s really helped ruin and demolish my interest within this fandom, something I did months ago that was okay, everyone played along yet when I did it recently I got hate for it. I also don’t like how newer writers are treated within this fandom; back when I started writing a year ago, it was still significantly easier to ‘make it’ then now, now it may take 2-3 months for someone to reach a certain milestone and as a certain friend of mine said the bigger writers keep getting bigger while no one else gets much support anymore, since people think that by doing this their favorite writer will not burn out. 

Well that may be true, by not supporting your smaller writers, they will burn out and that’ll leave the fandom sort of dead, check the MHA tags, only some fics do well and most of it’s nsfw; and that’s not to underappreciate nsfw writers, but nsfw fics almost always do well (if it’s written well), more of the sfw works don’t get 100 notes let alone more. (Things could’ve changed by now but the last time I checked, it seemed dead). 

And to end this little rant and leave notice off; I just want to say, happy late April fools day; but I’m actually serious about the things I’ve addressed here, the toxicity within this fandom and a lot of other things that were and is going on. I’m not leaving by any means but I felt the need to address it, and I hope you fell for my prank lmfao. 

Edit, to clarify I'm not leaving I felt like I should address things and as well as play a prank on some of you. If I said any of this yesterday I wouldn't have been taken as seriously as now.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s5 ep1: Night

First ep of a new season! Not the end of a cliffhanger either, so we're dropped into an entirely new situation: Voyager is flying through a region of space with no stars, planets or anything, just empty blackness that the crew nicknames 'the Void'. They've been in it for weeks, and everyone is going a little stir crazy- some are bored, some are agitated, some are depressed, but no one is doing well.

This is definitely one of those places where last season's excessive nastiness undermined the storytelling here- having them snipe at each other and pick fights would be a more effective way to show that people are having a hard time if they hadn't had them all randomly doing those things for no reason so much last season. (And the anti-Klingon crap especially makes my blood boil, because there's no excuse for that in any context. The whole point of Star Trek is that people are supposed to be better in the future, so having Starfleet people say shitty racist stuff to someone who's their friend and colleague is not okay, and even more egregious when she's sensitive about her Klingon heritage because people used to be so shitty to her about it growing up. Having people casually drop mean racist microagressions, and then never addressing it, is not progressive. Giving it to Tom here is the absolute worst, because he knows how she feels about it- even at his worst, Tom's never been intentionally hurtful to anyone, even people who treat him badly, and I have no idea why they would make him say something so shitty. I can't imagine anyone in the crew being that shitty, but they give it to almost all the characters at one point or another, and it's just like wow. ok Brannon Braga and Joe Menosky, tell me you wish you could be racist and get away with it without telling me you wish you could be racist and get away with it! How bigoted must they be to think that giving characters these kind of lines isn't tearing down the characters or offending the audience??)

The Captain has isolated herself in her quarters since they entered the Void, retreating into depression over her guilt for stranding everyone in the Delta Quadrant. The crew misses her, and Chakotay goes to talk to her to convince her to come back to duty, but she says no and sends him away.

Just when everyone is at their wits end, unknown ships attack them, and use a dampening field to cut Voyager's power so they can sneak aboard in darkness. All of Voyager's lights going out in pitch black, starless space is pretty darn scary, ngl. Neelix is pretty much having a panic attack when Chakotay finds him in the dark corridor, and Chakotay actually being helpful and supportive to Neelix is an awfully refreshing change amid all the obnoxious behavior we've seen of late. As the crew tries to get power back online, Tom and Seven encounter one of the aliens, who stuns Tom, then Seven stuns the alien. (And this episode is the first time we see Tom's Captain Proton holoprgram, which he ropes first Harry, and then Seven, into playing with him.)

Another, larger ship comes by and chases the little alien ships away, and the larger ship's captain says that the little aliens are dangerous and attack his transport vessel all the time, but won't explain why. Janeway, who's come out of her quarters finally, is suspicious. She wants the other alien's side of the story, and goes to the alien in sickbay, and finds out that his people, who are indiginous to the Void, are being poisoned by radioactive waste being dumped from the larger ship. Janeway wants to help, and offers the waste transport ship's captain recycling technology so he'll stop poisoning the aliens in the Void, but he refuses, saying he'll lose all his profits.

Janeway and the crew know they can't just leave and let the Void aliens be poisoned, but if they destroy the wormhole the garbage ship uses to get in and out of the Void quickly, it means two more years of the Void for Voyager. Janeway, wracked with guilt, doesn't want to put her crew through more hell again, and tries to sacrifice herself to stay behind and destroy the wormhole after Voyager gets through. The crew, however, flat out refuse to let her, in a very touching scene where they all refuse to follow her order to leave her behind. They tell her they'd rather spend two more years in the Void than go on without her. Outnumbered, Janeway is forced to stay, and together they figure out a plan to go through the wormhole and destroy it behind them. With a little help from the Void aliens, they destroy the garbage ship, get through the wormhole, and close it behind them. The space battle looks really cool, Janeway has one of her ridiculous 'Die Hard'-esque one liners that she manages to deliever with such conviction it actually seems badass and cool, and, in a rare display of raw emotion on the bridge, the whole crew looks about ready to cry when they finally see stars on the viewscreen again on the other side.

A top-notch episode in almost every respect, the storyline was really strong, and there were lots of good character moments, but it was undercut by having characters treat each other so poorly. From season 4 on, watching Voyager was like spinning a roulette wheel to see if I would get to see the characters I loved in that episode, or mean-spirited caricatures that just upset me. The mean stuff in this one upset me enough to dampen my enjoyment of the good stuff, unfortunately.

Tl;dr: A really strong storyline for Janeway, with great spooky elements, and an environmentalist message. But the emotional impact was undercut for me by the crew being rude to each other again, particularly some shockingly mean lines they gave to Tom, which shouldn't have been in there in the first place, and upset me enough to detract from what was otherwise a superb episode.

[dj-grooves-simp]

Nebula

Chapter three (part 1) - Son of the stars AU

The next morning, the class went on as normal. Joseph was dozing off every now and then, as he usually did. He was surprisingly doing good in most of his classes, in which he was studying to one day become a good movie director. This was one of the only choices he was able to convince the stars to make, and he couldn’t be happier since it had been his dream since he was a kid. He still remembers that house in the moon, where the sky was always dark and he was alone most of the time. While his mother prepared supper, Joseph ran to see the TV. One day, when he sad down, he saw some sort of ceremony, the “Annual Bird Movie Award Ceremony”, it was called. The little boy was mesmerised by the award, listening with interest at what the winner had to say about it. When the ceremony ended, he started thinking of all the movies he would make in a future, and how many of those awards he’d be able to win. Now that he had grown up, he still had that same dream. The creativity making movies inspired him made him very happy, and that’s why he worked so hard to be number one on his class. Of course, that was impossible. His grades were excellent, yes, but there was another student who always got better grades than him. He took notes down while his teacher explained the next assignment they’d have. This one would have to be done in groups of two. Great. Joseph wasn’t a fan of group projects, since he didn’t have much time to meet up with people and most of his classmates had always treated him different than everyone else. The students would have to decide who they wanted to be with next class. When he got home he sat down in his desk, completing the script from an idea he’d had some time ago. He was surprised when he heard a knock on the door. “Yes?”

He saw his brother opening the door and coming in.

“Jo? Can we talk?”

As much as he loved Terry, Joseph thought he worried too much and he tried helping excessively.

“Oh, yes.”

Joseph sat next to his brother on his bed and looked at him.

“What do you need?”

Terry looked sadly at his brother.

“Joseph, I’ve noticed you’ve been more sad and lost in your mind...What’s wrong?”

He rolled his eyes and thought for a good enough response, so that Terry would leave him alone.

“Look, I’m fine! I just have a lot of worries with my job and my studies, that’s it.”

Joseph was thankful he had such a loving and caring brother, who was really interested on his well being, but he wasn’t used to people looking out for him, so he felt like Terry was doing too much.

“Okay... you know you can talk to me whenever you need, right?I really worry about you, Jo.”

Joseph smiled at Terry, in the end, that’s all the family he had in this planet.

“Yes... thank you Terry, you’re the best.”

Smiling, Terry went out to his own room. There, he looked at the hour, knowing that soon, Joseph would be going to the observatory. Normally, Terry trusted Joseph with everything, but he was worried his brother might had been hiding something from him. That’s why he got ready, and after hearing Joseph leave through the front door, he followed along. When Joseph arrived to his job, he couldn’t stop thinking about the sharp glass in his bag, and what he’d have to do in some time. Thinking of how talking with the stars had been lately, he realised how unhappy he had been feeling. Even if he tried to make the stars happy, they always wanted more, always needed to see more and live more through him. Leaving his thoughts aside, he welcomed the first group of people and started to show them all the formations of the sky. Terry was outside, he entered every now and then avoiding Joseph and left seeing how nothing happened. He mentally beat himself up for not trusting Joseph with this too, in the end he had always been a rather quiet guy and there was nothing too bad with that and considering his background, he couldn’t blame him for being distant sometimes.

[henrycavillobsessed]

Hi - may I ask for an angsty one with Henry Cavill x girlfriend reader: During an evening walk with Kal, she gets attacked by a mugger. Struggling defending herself and Kal, she gets stabbed in the gut, but is so lost on her adrenaline rush she do not even notice! Fleeing the scene, she hurries home with Kal off leash. Already at the door, Henry sees that something is seriously wrong! Excessive use of the words "Im fine" and "Tend to Kal instead", before reader simply faints in the hallway...

It's been a while since I've written anything, so I was incredibly grateful for this request! I hope you don't mind, but I've written this as a Henry AU - Detective!Henry - with multiple parts, as I wanted to expand the story further. Thanks again for your request, part one is below! :)

Dark Side Of Me - Part One

AU Henry Cavill (Detective!Henry) x female reader

Words: 3,754

TW/CW: Angst/whump. Mentions of sex/trying for a baby. Violence/fighting/mugging/violence against an animal. Blood/mentions of injury. Bad language. Mentions of hospital/surgery. Pregnancy/miscarriage.

Notes: This is my very first AU Henry fic! Also, I know nothing about how policemen/police forces work, this is a fan written piece of fiction and I am likely to get something wrong. Anything I have written is for entertainment purposes only, and may not be 100% accurate. Any and all feedback welcome! :)

(Part two can be found here)

Henry was late home again. I wasn’t mad exactly; just disappointed. Laughing to myself- slightly bitterly- at the cliché, I sighed. As a detective superintendent, Henry’s job was incredibly demanding, not just on Henry himself but on his time too. Evenings like tonight happened more often than not, with Henry regularly rushing in through the door, a bunch of petrol station bought flowers balancing precariously on top of the stacks of files in his arms. Tonight was no exception.

“Hiya love, I am so sorry I’m late,” he said, handing me yellow roses, the cellophane wrapped around them rustling as he leaned in for a kiss. I felt my earlier disappointment evaporate somewhat. As a cop’s wife, I’d long ago resigned myself to this life, and was always grateful for all and any time I got to spend with him.

“It’s okay… although, hmm… yellow roses? Must mean you’re not quite finished working yet if you’ve bought me my favourite flowers,” I half-jokingly said to him with a smile. Henry sheepishly smiled back.

“You know me far too well, wife of mine.”

Sighing again, I took the flowers from him and went through into the kitchen to fetch a vase. Filling it with water, I heard Henry fussing Kal, our American Akita dog. I say ours, but it was no secret that Kal was a complete daddy’s boy. I might do the majority of feeding him, walking him and playing with him but the minute Henry was home I didn’t get a look in. Bringing the vase now filled with flowers into the living room, I put them next to the last lot he’d bought me, which were still fresh.

Henry followed me in, wrapping his long arms around me, resting his chin on the top of my head as he looked down at the flowers on the table. I could feel the guilt radiating from him, and turned to face him.

“Hey, it’s okay. I get it, you know I do.”

“I know, I know… It’s just you deserve so much better than these shitty flowers as apologies all the time…” Henry said, running his hands through his dark curly hair anxiously.

“Stop it. They’re lovely,” I soothed, taking his hands in mine and holding them between us. He smiled, a tired smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“You’re too good for me. I promise, I shouldn’t be too long with this paperwork tonight, and then we can go out for dinner, how about that? You choose where.”

I tried and failed to hide my excitement; eating dinner out together was such a rare occurrence, a real treat. “How about that lovely little Italian place we went to for my birthday last year?” I asked.

“Sounds perfect,” Henry replied, before kissing me gently on top of my head and turning around to remove his work jacket, the sight of his shirt pulling tight across his toned back causing my breath to hitch in my throat. We’d been married just over ten years, yet the test of time had done nothing to dull the allure he held.

In another universe, Henry could have been a model, or perhaps a Hollywood actor, being over six foot tall with his rugged jawline and heart-breaking smile, gentle blue eyes and of course, those super-soft brown curls, with the smattering of grey at the temples. His spent time on his appearance- working out daily with both weights and cardio, resulting in a muscular physique. Even his voice was attractive, smooth and deep. Yet the TV appearances Henry made weren’t red carpet affairs as an A-lister, but press conferences, informing the public of developments in big cases as the lead detective superintendent. The way Henry gave his speeches had a captivating effect, worthy perhaps of an Oscar, yet this wasn’t acting. The serious look on his face, the furrowed brow above dark and stormy eyes, mouth set in a grim line as he told the awaiting media of the criminals he was hunting paired with his tall and imposing stature and his sincere promises with that cultured accent that these dangerous people will be caught were all believed by the rapt and attentive faces in the audience below him, and the worried public watching from home. When Henry was getting statements from terrified victims, he was kind and patient, and many found him easy to open up to and confide in, and again believed him when he vowed to bring them justice. It wasn’t just his words that put people at ease either, his track record for solved cases was near enough perfect, and he never filed away a case until it was solved, even if it meant working on it for longer than was to be expected. And when it came to chasing after and finally catching those he pursued it then became obvious that all the time spent working out at the gym wasn’t for reasons of vanity; his strength and stamina meant the villains were absolutely no match for him, and when he had them opposite him in handcuffs, his intelligence and dark coercion made quick work of getting a confession out of them. His co-workers said that Henry often put them to shame, saying he was going to push them out of a job, yet they were only joking; Henry was a joy to work with, his charming smile and helpful demeanor meant he made friends wherever he went, and his superiors never had a bad word to say about him either and all his reviews always came back glowing. He was universally loved by the public, his peers and of course, by me. I was in awe of him every day, and counted myself more than lucky that I was the one he’d asked to be his wife, even if I did have to share him with the job; it was worth it.

Henry caught me staring. “Like what you see, hmm?” he winked, and laughed out loud when I blushed.

“Hey, I won’t be made me to feel embarrassed for lusting after my own husband!” I replied, playfully swatting at him. “But as a matter of fact, yes I do like what I see.”

“Well maybe you can see more of it later, after dinner, if you’re lucky,” he purred, and I felt my body heat in response. “And if we’re both lucky, tonight might be the night we make a little Henry or Y/N… what do you think?”

I looked up at him in adoration. We loved our life together, being happily married and each had our own careers, our beautiful town house in the center of London, and of course, our wonderful Kal, but recently we’d decided that we wanted to expand our family and felt it was time to start thinking about welcoming a baby of our own into our lives. It was difficult to try properly with how busy Henry was with work, so we’d had a long chat about how we weren’t going to get our hopes up too much, I was just going to come off my contraception and we’d see what happens. I was genuinely okay with this arrangement, however whenever he said things like that it made my heart swell.

“I love you, Mr Cavill,” I whispered.

“I love you too, Mrs Cavill,” he replied, kissing me deeply.

Just then, Kal’s whining from the hallway floated into the living room; we both knew he was sat by his leads hanging up by the front door as it was time for his nightly walk. Usually Henry and I took him out together. Henry looked guilty again.

“How about I take him whilst you get the rest of your work done? Then by the time I get back we can both get ready and head out for dinner?” I said.

“Are you sure? I don’t like the idea of you going out on your own…”

“I won’t be on my own, I’ll be with Kal,” I assured him. “Plus, I won’t take him far, just through the park and around the block?”

“Okay, but take your phone, and keep an eye on your surroundings,” he said, worriedly.

“Yes, Detective Cavill, sir!” I laughed, making him smile. “Honestly, I’ll be fine. See you in a bit.”

Kissing him quickly and telling him again that I loved him, I grabbed Kal and we both flew out the front door, leaving Henry at his desk surrounded by his paperwork, all of us blissfully unaware of what was about to happen.

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It was a typical November evening; pitch black already even though it was barely 7pm, cold and blustery, with the threat of rain hanging in the air. I wish I’d put on something thicker than my old rain mac, and was glad I was only taking Kal on a short stroll. We’d been through the park already, the huge fluffy bear happily stopping and sniffing every lamppost and flowerbed we walked by, his tail constantly wagging. We were now walking back towards our house down the back alleys, and even though I’d said to Henry I’d be fine, I couldn’t help feeling slightly on edge; I suppose this was part of being a policeman’s wife, always aware that there could be danger lurking in the dark. I was grateful for my huge dog and his intimidating presence, well, as intimidating as he could be with his big slobbery smile and his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. I laughed at his infectious joy and ruffled his ears.

“Not long now boy and we’ll be home in the warm,” I said to him conversationally. “I wonder how you dad is getting on-“ I stopped mid sentence. Kal’s mood had suddenly shifted; his ears flattened back, and a growl was beginning low in his throat. I looked around for whatever it was that had spooked him, getting my phone out of my pocket, Henry’s number first on my speed dial. I didn’t get chance to call as a hand flew out of the darkness, knocking the phone out of my hand; I heard it shatter somewhere on the concrete behind me.

“Not the night for a pretty little thing like you to be walking alone,” said a voice. Kal bared his teeth as a man emerged from the shadows. He was wearing a dark tracksuit, a cap pulled low over his face. I didn’t answer him, my eyes darting for an escape route. We were so close to home, if I could just run…

“I know you,” the stranger said. “You’re that cunt cop’s missus. I’ve seen him on the telly, seen you both out together.” Still, I said nothing. “Reckon you’ve got some decent dosh on you if you’re married to a pig…”

“Look, I’m just out walking my dog,” I said, frightened but firm. “I don’t have anything to give you, I don’t have my bag with me. Please, leave me alone…” I tried to move past him, but he stepped into my path, blocking me.

“Hmm, that won’t do… what about the dog? Bet he’s worth some money,” his mouth split into a menacing grin under the cap as he moved to snatch Kal’s lead from me. I pushed him back with as much power as I could muster, hoping it would be enough to make enough time to escape and run home, but I wasn’t quick enough. His fist pulled back and then rammed into my face with so much force that I felt my nose break, and I screamed.

Kal launched himself between me and the mugger, attempting to bite his hand, the one that had punched me, but again the man powered up his fist, this time hitting Kal on his snout and he yelped.

“No! Leave him alone!” I screamed again. The stranger laughed viciously, punching Kal again and this time I got in front of him, flailing at him, attempting to hurt him in any way I could, any way that would stop him for beating my dog, stealing him…

“You fucking bitch, get off!” he yelled, and then howled in pain as Kal’s teeth finally connected with their target; his tracksuit sleeve was shiny with the same blood that was now smeared on Kal’s muzzle. He was now completely enraged, and he plunged his hand into his trouser pocket; I saw a glint of silver as he ran like a bull to a red flag towards Kal… I jumped in front my dog, arms outstretched, protecting him from the incoming assault, and just in time, our attacker’s hand connected with my stomach rather than Kal’s face, punching me harder than I was expecting, pain shooting across my abdomen, and I felt the air whoosh out of my lungs, winding me. Quickly though I regained myself, adrenaline coursing through my veins, and I screamed louder than ever, propelling my entire body at him and finally, he fell, landing flat on his back on the pavement, slick with his own blood.

“Kal, come on! Let’s go! Get home!” I shouted frantically, and Kal took off, his lead lost in the struggle, with me running behind, not looking back, only forward, to help, to Henry.

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Back at home, Henry looked up from the case report he’d lost himself in, at the clock on the mantelpiece, and was surprised to see how much time had passed since you and Kal had left for their walk. You should have been back by now, and immediately he felt ice plunge into his stomach; something was wrong, his detective instincts were telling him. Grabbing his phone he dialled your number, and was dismayed when he heard your voicemail message. Anxiety prickling at him, he quickly thought through options. Logic was telling him not to panic, maybe you’d just run into someone you knew and were chatting? But he knew better; you never went anywhere without a charged phone, and you’d always let him know if you’d be late home, even if was only going to be a couple of minutes. Throwing a hand through his hair agitatedly, he decided he would go over to the park, see if he could find you both. That’s when he heard a dog’s howl and his heart stuttered with fear.

Henry ran towards the sound of the animal, praying it wasn’t Kal, hoping against hope it was another dog, and threw open the back door to see Kal sprinting up the garden path, the akita throwing himself into Henry, whining desperately.

“Kal! What is it boy? Where’s your mum? Is that- is that blood?!” Henry held Kal’s face in his hand trying to inspect it, but Kal barked and wrenched himself away from Henry’s grasp, turning his head in the direction of the bottom of the garden. Henry followed his gaze and saw you, still upright, but barely, staggering through the gate. Henry flew towards you.

“Y/N! Y/N, are you okay?!” he cried, grabbing you, holding you up. He could see blood on your face too, coming from your nose. Anger coursed through him.

“Henry, oh my god, Henry, this guy, he tried to… he punched Kal… hurt Kal…”

“Kal is okay… come on, let’s get you in, you’re bleeding…”

“No, no, I’m fine, need to check Kal… Kal…”

Henry suddenly had the realisation that something was seriously wrong with you, something more than the obvious broken nose. You were shaking severely, ice cold and pale. He held you at arm’s length, eyes raking you up and down, checking for… oh god, he thought, no, no, no…

A dark stain was blooming across the bottom of the purple raincoat you were wearing… Henry ripped it open and pulled off your t-shirt; it ripped away easily and Henry cried out vehemently at the sight of the wound underneath. It was clear you’d been stabbed. No, no, no…

“Henry?” came your quiet voice. “Henry?”

“It’s okay love, it’s okay, you’re okay, come on, I’m going to get you some help…” Henry’s voice caught as you fell to your knees, head lolling against your chest. “Come on Y/N, come on, you’re okay, you’re going to be okay…” He lifted you into his arms, speeding into the house and lying you down on the sofa, the blood flowing too fast from the hole in your stomach. I’ve got to stop the bleeding, Henry thought, his mind going into emergency mode.

“Kal… we need to help Kal… he hurt our Kal, Henry…” you whispered from the sofa as Henry whipped the tablecloth away from the dining table with one hand and dialled the emergency number with the other.

“I know, look, he’s okay though, see?” Henry said as he used the tablecloth to attempt to stop the bleeding; in an instant it was soaked through. Kal whimpered slightly, peering at you worriedly from behind Henry. You smiled faintly, and then, suddenly, your face went slack as a trickle of bright scarlet blood flowed from the corner of your mouth and your eyes rolled back in your head. You went completely still, and Henry saw, with icy terror flooding into his mouth, that you had stopped breathing. Roaring your address down the phone to the operator, he tossed the phone aside and started CPR. Come on, come on… don’t die, you can’t die… he thought desperately. Please, please, don’t let her die… I’ll do anything, please don’t take her from me…

He openly cried with relief when the ambulance arrived and the paramedics raced in, immediately taking over from Henry with the CPR, and sobbed when he saw you take a breath. He stood on the front step, watching as they sped you away with full blue lights and sirens- “we’ll be taking her into surgery Mr Cavill, if you can follow behind us” – and as the adrenaline left his system, he looked down to see his shirt and hands completely covered in your blood, and he fell to the floor, the sobs wracking his body as they clawed their way up his throat.

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Kal, Henry thought, composing himself and rushing back inside to check on the dog. He found him shaking next to the blood-soaked sofa, and checking him over thoroughly, it soon became apparent that Kal hadn’t been stabbed either, to Henry’s immense relief.

“Come here, boy,” he said, holding out his arms, to which Kal gratefully nuzzled in to. Henry held him until they both stopped shaking, and retrieving his phone, Henry called one of his brothers who thankfully lived close by, and promised to be there in less than ten minutes to take Kal to the vet for a check up, just in case.

As he cuddled Kal and waited for his brother, Henry had a thought, his detective mind coming back into focus now the shock was wearing off. That blood on Kal’s muzzle, I don’t think that’s hers… Standing up, he went to his work bag and got out one of the blood-sample tubes he kept in his field kit. Speaking to his dog in calm, soothing tones, he put on a pair of rubber gloves, and carefully scraped off the drying blood from Kal’s fur, before screwing the lid on tightly and dropping the tube into an evidence bag, which he then put in his pocket.

Just then, Henry’s brother arrived, and Henry hurriedly caught him up, and they gave each other a swift hug before each of them raced off in their respective cars, one to the vet and the other to the hospital.

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“Detective Superintendent Cavill, hi,” said the on-call surgeon to Henry as he strode into the ICU. Henry recognised him, having worked with him before on past cases, and was pleased it was him who had been the one to operate on you tonight.

“Hey, doc. How is she?” Henry asked, trying to keep the worry from his voice, and failing.

“It was touch and go for a while, and she is in a critical but stable condition. The next twenty-four hours will give us an idea of her prognosis,” replied the surgeon. “Although, I’m afraid I do have some bad news…”

“Bad news?” A hundred different thoughts and scenarios raced through Henry’s mind; panic threatened to overwhelm him.

“Perhaps it’s best if we sit down for a minute,” the surgeon led him to a private room. “When we were operating, we noticed Mrs Cavill was hemorrhaging not only from her abdomen, but from her uterus too. She was… she was pregnant, but the trauma to her body from the stabbing was too much. We did everything we could to stop it, but she miscarried. I’m so sorry.”

The doctor’s voice was drowned out by an odd whirring in Henry’s ears. His voice seemed disconnected to his body. “She was pregnant?” he whispered.

“I understand this is a shock. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.” The surgeon looked at him with pity.

Henry stood up, hands thrown through his hair again; his giveaway tell for stress. “Yeah doc, um, do me a favour actually. Don’t tell her, if – when – she wakes up. I’ll tell her, I want to be the one.”

“Yes, of course.”

“Thank you. Will she be okay if I step out for a while? I need to get to the station, see if we can start going about catching whoever did this…”

“Absolutely; she’s in the best place. I will call if anything changes.” The surgeon stood too.

“Thanks doc,” Henry grasped and shook the surgeon’s hand, before leaving the private room and heading down the corridor to see you.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight that greeted him. Of course, over his years in the force, Henry had seen plenty of disturbing and upsetting scenes, but this, seeing his wife, the woman he was in love with, his whole life led on that bed surrounded by wires and beeping machines, a thick white bandage wrapped around her torso, an oxygen mask dominating her face… this was definitely the worst. And to know you had been pregnant… cold anger and grief washed over him, his hands balling into fists at his sides.

“I’ll find who did this,” Henry whispered as he leant over and kissed your forehead. “I’ll find him and I’ll make him pay in every way I can, I promise.”

As he headed down the corridor and out of the hospital, the little vial of blood in its evidence bag burned a hole in his pocket.

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Thanks for reading! Check back soon for part 2!

Part Two can be found here

[ohbuckie]

could you do prompt 25 fine the list you reblogged with either sam or bucky😗😗

warnings: smut, alcohol

wc: 1223

Zemo knocks back another shot of a drink you can’t remember the name of and nearly falls off of his chair as he straightens his head, giggling childishly and letting the glass clink against the wood of the table when he sets it down.

“I’m just saying, I think it’s...abornormal to find time for sexual intercourse while you’re so serious about ‘saving the world.’” He uses air-quotes when he says the last part, and you can tell it pisses Bucky off.

Bucky huffs and leans back in his chair, squeezing your thigh, just near your knee. “Sexual intercourse.” He mumbles and chuckles to himself. “I don’t see how my—our—sex life is anybody else’s business.”

“If it wasn’t our business then we wouldn’t have to hear it through the walls.” Sam chimes in.

You snicker and wish that either of you had a defense, but you don’t. There’s no excuse, unless he wants to hear about how good Bucky is in bed.

“Okay, fine, how long has it been since you guys have gotten laid?”

“I think I’ll plead the fifth, actually.” Sam sips from his glass, something with an orange slice and an excessive amount of blue food-coloring.

“I was in prison.” Zemo raises his hands in surrender before gesturing over a waitress and ordering another drink.

“I think I’d explode if I went more than a week without having sex. It’s just not realistic—how else are you supposed to relieve stress?”

“Yoga.” Sam suggests with a mischievous smile.

Bucky scoffs. “Yeah, not gonna happen.”

Zemo takes a gulp from his drink and holds up his finger to capture everyone’s attention, begging for allowance to interject, but he doesn’t wait for it. “You know, she’s all candy and lollipops, but I bet behind closed doors Y/N’s handcuffs and ball-gags.”

Bucky jerks his arm and slams it on the table, clenching his jaw, but you grab his hand and shake your head when he looks at you. “That’s–”

“It’s fine, Buck. He didn’t mean anything by it.” Zemo shrugs. “It’s late, I think everyone’s had a little too much to drink. Let’s just go home.” You say to Bucky, and stand from your chair after he nods, holding his hand out to keep you close to him in the crowded establishment.

You hear Sam say something to Zemo—probably about how that was a dick move, making you and Bucky uncomfortable enough to leave—and you follow Bucky out the door and into a cab. His hands are all over you once you sit in the cloth seat, covered in mysterious stains—something to remind you of home in New York. He presses his lips against your neck surprisingly chastely, and he holds you close to him with his hands on your waist and lower back. “I’m sorry he said that, sweetheart. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

“It’s okay.” It’s not okay. You push some of his hair back and feel it between your fingers. “Thanks for sticking up for me.”

“Of course.” He kisses you gently and rests his head on your shoulder.

By the time the driver pulls up in front of where you’ve been staying with Sam and Zemo, the kisses to your neck are no longer innocent, and you’re having a hard time restraining yourself from shoving your tongue down Bucky’s throat in the back of this car. He pays and stays close behind you while you fumble with your keys beside the door, becoming giddy when he presses himself against your backside, letting his hands wander from your waist to your chest.

When you get in and close the door, he follows you to the bedroom you’ve been sharing and pulls off his shirt, sitting on the bed and waiting for you to come to him. You do, sitting with your legs across his lap and holding his face in your hands to kiss him. He wraps his arms around you to keep you from falling backwards, and uses the opportunity to find the clasp of your bra and unhook it.

You reach your arms above your head and let him pull your shirt off, and you shrug off the bra right with it. He flips you so that you’re underneath him and he can kiss down your neck and chest, sucking faint marks and nibbling gently. You arch your back and feel him smile against you before reaching to undo the button of your pants.

“Do you think we have sex too much?” You wonder, lifting your hips so he can remove your pants.

“There’s no such thing as too much sex, Zemo just hasn’t gotten any in five years.” He answers.

It takes all of two more minutes for Bucky to push himself into you. You gasp, because no matter how many times he does it, it will always feel like the first time you ever did this together. “Fuck.” You curse, and he starts to move.

He holds your hips tightly and thrusts expertly, watching how your face contorts while you try to stay quiet. He bottoms out every time, and when he picks up his pace you can hear his skin slapping against yours obscenely. It’s disgusting, but it’s hot, and you put your hands on his shoulders, encouraging him to lean down so you can kiss him. You wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, letting his tongue slip into your mouth while he kisses you.

He fucks you hard enough for your head to hit to bump the headboard, but he doesn’t care, he’s much too focused on getting you off. You can feel him in your stomach, and you can’t help but let a moan rip through your chest.

His movements are so habitual, but still so precise. Bucky insists he wasn’t the womanizer that you think he was before the war, but you can’t believe him when it’s so obvious he’s had loads of practice. You rake your fingers down his back—hardly avoiding breaking skin—and feel the muscles that reside between his shoulder blades. He moans softly into your mouth when you clench around him, and it triggers an all-too-familiar feeling at the bottom of your stomach.

“Bucky, I’m gonna cum.” You whine.

“Already?”

“You’re not exactly taking your time.”

His thumb brushes against your clit, rubbing circles into it to help you get closer to your release. It’s premature, but he’s the only one to blame. You moan loudly, squeezing your eyes shut and letting your legs tremble while you cum.

He pulls out of you when you’re done, taking his cock in his hand and stroking it over your stomach. You shoo his hand away, using your own—twisting your wrist, swiping your thumb over the tip, squeezing at the base—until warm ropes of cum cover your stomach. His abs tighten and you can hear his breathing become labored while he cums and watches it fall over you. “Fuck, you’re so hot.”

You smile and dip your finger in the cum you’re painted in, sucking it from the tip of your finger before accepting the kiss that he presses to your lips. You hear the front door open and then close again, and then the familiar voices of your friend, Sam, and his drunk, Russian hostage.

“Now we do that again, but louder.”

[jameui]

SPECIAL PRESENT 1

Requested

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

PAIRING: Sugar Daddy!Jung Yunoh x College Student!M!Reader (featuring: Bestfriend!Lee Jeno)

GENRE: Fluff, Smut

WARNINGS: Unprotected intercourse, huge age gap, a lot of IMPORTANT flashbacks (i think), daddy kink, sex toys, overstimulation

SUMMARY: You were a striving student in Resonance High and had perfect records. Besides your devotion to your education, you were also gifted with a talent. All these stuffs making your sugar daddy, Jaehyun, proud of you, so he decided to give you a night you won't forget.

(P.S. so i was fucking dumb to actually think that when you said performance, you meant by performing on a stage, when you actually meant, how male reader actually did good in school. I was too late to notice. sorry. if this didn't reach your expectations.

The school's foundation day is fast approaching and each student at Resonance High are all excited preparing for that certain day. During the school's foundation day, events such as competition in sports and performances like singing and dancing or spoken poetry. All sorts of event takes place in that particular, not only a day, but a week, that every students can take part in.

The school's foundation day does not only happen after a day. It's a week of celebration for the foundation and, of course, free from homeworks and projects that students have to worry about. All their focus must be on having fun on those days and be active in participation. Some students never liked the thought about celebrating a foundation day, but you on the other hand, thought otherwise as it's your first time celebrating it with a friend, since you never really get to do it with any due to you practically being locked up in your house for almost all years of your life.

Now, you were away from your family and you got to finally do anything you wanted. For example, having a sugar daddy who gave you all the help you needed. Sure, at first, you were just doing it out of mere fun, but you never quite expected to actually grow feelings for the older male. You didn't know when it started, but the first time you ever felt the fluttering of butterflies in your stomach was when he became worried and concerned when you got sick after a very excessive practice, the day prior. You wanted to tell him so, so bad, but you didn't know how to.

You were scared that maybe you were crossing the line or coming off too strong or maybe he'd walk away if you broke the agreement. It first started with just you only being up for it because of the agreement. Though, you never really went as far as you giving him a good blow or having a steamy bath with him. Either way, he was still someone you could trust and the only person you could rant about all your problems. The thought of losing all these scared you the most.

Unlike some other people, Jaehyun was smart and was a successful businessman, owning one of the richest companies in the industry. Jaehyun, when he's not busy, he'd help you out with your math homeworks or would just do it for you, since he found it fun and easy. Sometimes, you think he's Einstein, reincarnated.

Jaehyun, besides his brains, is also fun to be with. He knows about your passion and talent for singing and dancing and your once dream to be an artist, so he would sometimes play loud music in the living room through the speakers and you two would be singing along, him making up lyrics when he have no idea what the song artist's saying in their song. He'd sometimes call them drunk, because they sounded like they were slurring their words, which you would always laugh to. Also, he'd let you teach him a few dance steps you saw on tiktok and you'd record it together, only for the fun of both of you.

You were seated by your section's booth and couldn't help, but crack a smile from the thought. That was until one of your classmates decided to cut the moment. "What's with the smile?" Jeno, one of your friends, questioned with a smirk whilst carrying a case of bottled apple juice, placing it beside the stand of the booth.

"Here to tease me, again?" You scoffed at him, as he shrugged his shoulders. You rolled your eyes at him and stood up from your seat before heading to the school's gate where the rest of the important necessitated items are waiting. You skipped along the way and stopped by the pick up truck that was parked at the parking lot. "Anything I can help with?" You asked with a smile.

"Here's the last of 'em." He gave you two cases of the bottled drinks, one stacked above the other making you grunt.

"This is heavy." You muttered under your breathe, your thin hands barely holding onto the handles. "Th-thanks." You told them your feet wobbling from the heavy weight of the trays.

Jeno who came walking back outside saw you struggling, making him chuckle deciding to help you. "Need help with that?"

"Yes, please." You said before passing the trays to Jeno carefully, so it doesn't topple over. "Thanks." You smiled at him, cracking your knuckles and shaking it to reduce the pain you felt on your hands.

"Welcome." He said, then walking back to the booth, with you beside him. "Ah, M/n. By the way, are you attending the practice this afternoon?"

"Yeah. Of course. Why do you ask?" You chuckled, kicking on a pebble that came your way.

"Oh, I just thought you'd be busy sucking your daddy's—"

"JENO!" You yelled at him with an evident blush on your face cutting him off to avoid anyone hearing what Jeno had to say. It's always been like this. Since the day you told him about having a sugar daddy, he'd always tease you no matter where you are or what you're doing. He'd always use your excuses against you and now, you're regretting ever telling him.

"Okay, okay. Damn." He laughed at your reaction, you staring daggers at him.

Just as you were about to spat back at him, you heard a group of girls' voices calling out to you. "M/n! M/n! M/n!" They were successful in gaining your attention, while they smiled running up towards you. "M/n! You didn't tell us you have a handsome brother..." One of them said, while batting their lashes.

You knitted your brows in confusion. "I have?" You asked the girls, who looked like they knew better and nodded their heads. First of all, you don't have a brother, but you have three sister, two are older and one is younger. Second, you don't even know who these girls were and yet, they mysteriously knew your name and who you were. "Wait, who are you talking—"

"M/n-ah." You heard that sweet raspy voice of the man you loved, your head snapping towards him who stood by the side of your booth. You guessed he was on his break, since he was still in his suit and it was already past twelve in the afternoon.

"Jaehyun!" You giggled as you ran to him, all the while opening his arms for you to throw yourself in. You gladly complied and wrapped your arms around him, the lot older male doing the same as he hung his long arms on your waist. You snuggled into his chest before you looked up at him to see him already looking down at you with a smile that displayed his deeply carved dimples. "What are you doing here? Aren't you busy?" He made you giggle when he patted your head and planted a kiss on your forehead.

"I wanted to see my baby." Jaehyun replied, then pouting. "I've been so tired lately."

You furrowed your brows in concern and hugged him tighter. "Can't you take a three days off?"

"I want to, but I got to keep the company running if I don't want it to fail." He answered you, making you nod your head.

Once the girls saw these, they quickly felt embarrassed and walked off without making a sound, Jeno laughing at them.

"Then, why don't I treat you to something sweet? How's that?" You wanted to do something for the older and this was the only thing you could ever think of.

The pout was still glued to his face when he looked back down at you. "Angel, we agreed that I would do the treating."

"Well, you're the one who needs my help, right now, so I want to do something for you, other than..." You cleared your throat and mumbled, "...the other things I do for you."

Jaehyun chuckled, as he finally gave in to your offer while he ruffled your hair. "Alright."

You pulled away from him once he had loosened his grip from around your waist. You took him by the wrist and told Jeno that you'd be somewhere else, leaving Jeno with the rest of the responsibilities, promising him to make up to it.

You were leading Jaehyun to the canteen, before he gently pulled on your hand. You turned your head towards him, your eyes moving down to where he held you. You chuckled and smiled. "What's wrong?"

"Can... I hold your hand, M/n?" The question took you aback, only since he never really asks those type of questions. Ones he only asks are some that goes by the line 'can you suck my dick?' or of some sort.

"Sure." You managed to smile from the obvious shock that got Jaehyun a little red. "You didn't even have to ask." You added to which he nodded to shyly. It would be times like this when you would forget that he is a good thirty years old because of his cute personality.

You two finally made it to the canteen, the taller male receiving a lot of stares from all those present inside. Jaehyun was yet to spot the attention he was gaining, but you were already feeling iffy even though you knew that those heart eyes were for Jaehyun. But, you couldn't help the feeling that those eyes didn't like you being around Jaehyun. "J-Jaehyun..." You squeaked out silently, tugging on the sleeve of his suit, taking his attention whilst smiling down at you. His smile faltered upon noticing how you looked subtly shaken and cowered in fear. "I.. I think we should leave."

"Baby, what's wrong? You look so tense." Jaehyun asked you out of pure concern, cupping your cheeks as he gently tilted your head upwards, so you could face him, but you removed his hands from your cheeks that got him almost shocked since you'd never really let yourself move away from his grasp, instead you would usually just lean into his touch and let yourself succumb to the warmth he was radiating, but this. This was different and he knew exactly that something was bothering you.

"Can we go, please?" You sounded like you were begging for you two to quickly move outside, leaving Jaehyun with no choice, but to nod his head and let you drag him out of the place. Alas, you were outside, but he never received even a word from you nor a hum, a sigh, nothing. Just complete silence.

He grew more worried thinking that he might have done something that he shouldn't have or said something that made you feel so uncomfortable. He was getting anxious as you continued to keep your mouth closed and never said a word. "Baby, you know you can trust me, right?" Jaehyun caressed your thumb in a comforting manner, his eyes showing how much he truly cared for you and how genuinely worried he was. He was scared that he might have done something wrong to you.

He himself never knew how it got to this. At first, just like you, he had only intended to find some fun in the relationship you both had and not actually grow some feelings towards you, but the first time he ever met you, all he ever had thought in his head was to protect you at all cost and give you everything you wanted, spoil you with all his money and riches, give you forehead kisses and pleasure that can make you see stars. Since the start, he only thought of this as something platonic and that it was a part of the agreement you both had consent on, but as you two got to spend more time together, he always felt something blossom inside of him. He always looked forward to every day, mainly because he had you to wake up to. His usual stoic expression, completely turned into those that said 'sunshine' all spread out on his face. That's when he completely knew, it was not only the benefits he was up for, anymore. It was you and his love for you.

He was just your usual workaholic man, who had nothing in his head rather than work, work, and work. Not until the day he bumped into you on that one faithful day, when you were so drained from all the studying you had to do and decided to buy coffee. You were so intimidated by his face that he got you cowering in fear when you turned to look up at him. The only courage you could muster was so small that you were only able to give him a polite bow before you entered the coffee shop to buy your favorite cappuccino coffee.

He was so intrigued by you that the next day, during that same time, he waited for you in that same exact location, but you never showed up. Until later. You were so shocked from the sight of him. You feared he'd beat you into a pulp, so you hid your face with your hand, hoping he didn't see you, but luck wasn't on your side that day and decided to let Jaehyun notice your presence.

"Hey, I—"

"Sorry, sir. I'm quite busy, right now." You immediately cut him off and got inside the shop, Jaehyun following suit. Your eyes made its way back towards the older who was following behind you closely. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to look at him, retracting his body from looking through your shoulders, throughout the whole time smiling down at you with his dimples showing. "Excuse me, sir, but do I owe you with something?"

Jaehyun pursed his lips, thinking before smirking and leaning closer to your face, with you, all the while, pulling your head back. "Yes." He answered you with his hands shoved confidently inside his pants.

Your gaze averted from his mesmerizing eyes to the table that supported you and kept you from falling. You gulped and felt your lips go dry. "D-do you need money? I don't have much, but will 7,000 won be enough?" You fondled through your pockets and took out your wallet.

"What? No, no." He chuckled, one hand taken out from his pockets and scratching his eyebrows while he sighed. "I have an offer."

Your brows were pulled together looking up at him, curious. "What is it?"

"Give me your number and I'll tell you over the phone."

And that's how it all started. Of course, he told you about lying that you owed him something, either way you were thanking the God above that he created you as gullible as ever.

As of the moment, Jaehyun could only feel his nervousness rise as he continued to stare at your back. "M/n, please say something. You're making me feel so worried."

"Jaehyun..." You finally stopped walking and spoke, before throwing yourself into him, the impact suddenly taking all the air inside Jaehyun's lungs away. "Don't leave me... please." You pleaded, your arms around him going tighter.

Jaehyun softened and felt himself get blanketed over with relief. He raised his hand to put it on top of your head and caressed them softly and soothingly. "I won't, M/n. I promise you."

In the end, Jaehyun was the one who treated you with something to eat. You were sat at a bench near your class' booth, Jaehyun next to you, while you swayed your feet back and forth. "Hyunnie." You called out to him with a new nickname you came up with, Jaehyun choking on his burger letting out a few coughs while you patted his back, laughing. "How the hell do you eat a burger that it got you choking on it?"

His coughing finally stopped and looked at you with a surprised face. "The nickname. You never called me that before."

You pouted in reply and blushed in embarrassment. "Do you.. not like it?"

"No, of course not." He was quick to shake his head, then cleared his throat, looking away. "It's cute."

You were able to see the pink tint painting his cheeks that you always found cute, since it's a very rare sight to see. Teasingly, you peeked over and was able to confirm that he was, in fact, blushing from just the nickname you created. "Oh my gosh, you're blushing." You cooed and immediately, Jaehyun scoffed, facing you to land a small kiss on your lips that got you widening your eyes and wiping away the mocking smile you had on your face. Your fingers made its way up towards your lips, unable to speak.

"Now, tell me who's blushing." Jaehyun smirked.

You glared at him, but instead of feeling intimidated, he found it cute. "I'm just surprised, since you never really like to, er, kiss me on the lips." You whispered the last part, loud enough for only you and him to hear.

You two were so happy in each other's company, that you both forgot that Jaehyun had somewhere else to be. That being his work. He wouldn't have noticed the time passing, if it wasn't for the alarm he had set, knowing he'd lose track of time when he's around you.

You walked him to his car and saw him off, waving your hand at him, not leaving until he was finally out of sight. You put your hands back down and sighed happily, walking back towards where you should be: at the booth where you should be finishing the preparation.

"So, how was the quick date?" Jeno asked you with a smirk, the sleeves of his shirt pushed back inside the hole that connected it to the shirt, showing his perfectly built muscles.

"It was great! Save for the part where I received death glares at the canteen. That felt terrible." You shuddered at the thought, but smiled again. "That aside, it was great."

"Your schedule didn't change? Are there still room for practice later?" Jeno asked you for the nth time that day. He's been asking you since you entered the classroom.

"It didn't, Jeno. Why are you so eager with me being present in the practice?" You chuckled at him, deciding to help him pack the treat bags you will give out to your customers.

"I just can't be left alone there with people I don't know. I'm an awkward person." Jeno told you.

"Jeno. You're literally known by all the students here and you're scared because they're strangers to you? I bet they all even want to be friends with you." You said, but Jeno just shook his head, his hair moving along with him.

"No, M/n. You must and need to attend the practice, either way." Jeno demanded of you.

You rolled your eyes at him and sighed deeply through your nose in defeat. "Fine, fine." Jeno's eye smile appeared and let out a small 'yes' making you chuckle.

"Hey, M/n." A voice started from outside the booth and saw a girl with her arms crossed, looking down at you whilst you seated at the ground. You looked up at her, but she didn't look friendly. She looked angry than friendly.

Your eyes flickered toward Jeno, then back to the girl and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Don't give me that smile, you whore." She spat at you, all of a sudden.

Your eyes closed shut, your mouth wide open and your forefinger raised up while you pushed it towards her way and scoffing. Your eyelids tore open and you smirked at the girl. "Excuse me? Whore? Who you calling a whore?"

"Listen, midget—"

"No, you listen here, Barbie." You said, a mocking tone with the last word. "You full on plastic, bitch. Get away from my sight. You look like a parasite."

The girl gasped in shock and opted to pull on your hair, but Jeno held her by her wrist and angrily stared at her. "You heard him. Get away. I'm not afraid to punch a person, even a girl, if they're purpose was to mistreat and shame on an innocent person." Jeno threw her hand away like it was trash, sending the girl from moving two steps back before stomping her foot and turning on her heels to walk away.

You could still see Jeno glaring at the girl while you looked at him in shock. "Wow, wow. Look at you."

"Sh. I'm not done yet." Jeno hushed you, before he continued his work. "You were saying?"

"Nothing. Was just shocked you told that girl off. I could have handled myself just fine, but thanks to you, I'm saved from causing a ruckus." You said, Jeno huffing through the nose.

"Seriously, you." He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose and knitted his brows. "Stop making the problem bigger."

"No way. I need to put up a fight. If I don't, they'd see me as someone weak." You defended yourself.

"And you can't even handle death glares that's being sent towards you?"

You were about to speak and fight back, but he was right. "That's... that's a different matter."

"Sure, it isn't, M/n." He said rolling his eyes.

Later that afternoon, past 5 p.m., you and Jeno excused yourselves from the class, since you have a dance practice for your performance on the opening of the foundation day. Out of habit, you skipped beside Jeno who was happy that you got to attend the practice today. Again.

You never really liked the person who choreographed the whole song. It was under a genre you thought you could never pull off or fit in, so your confidence was at a very low level. During practices, though, you try your best not to make it obvious that you were uncomfortable for that certain concept, but you still had to be seen making a lot of mistakes, some of the other students who joined clearly agitated. You could only bow and bow and bow at the mistake you knew you clearly had done, feeling guilty for the reason why always had to start again from the top. The reason why you never really got along well with these students.

You have arrived at the practice room, taking quiet steps as you both entered the venue trying your best not to make a sound. The intense gazes you received from the other students didn't come unnoticed by you, the reason why you pulled your knees closer to your chest as you buried your face in it. Clearly, they were enjoying those two few days you were absent, since they got to finish practice early and with no interruption nor mistakes. But, now that you're around, they knew exactly what awaited them.

Jeno saw you curled up into a ball and eyes making its way up to the students who looked so angry with you making him frown. "M/n. Don't mind them. You're actually doing even greater than them." He tried to cheer you up, so you acknowledged it with a smile.

"Thanks, Jeno. But, I don't think that will change the fact that my uneasiness with the dance is the reason why we have to start over and over again." You sighed and placed your head back down on your knees, Jeno drawing circles on your back.

A moment later, the mentor came walking in, displeased to see you present. "Oh, welcome back... M/n." He stated before you could hear those loud snickers coming from the students. You and Jeno were the first ones to stand in position, the others following suit. The mentor's face lit up with an idea on his mind. "Can everyone please take a seat for a couple of minutes?" He smiled, then looking at you. "Except for you, L/n."

Jeno's eyes fell upon you, a worried look on his face, mouthing 'I'll be fine' to reassure him as he sat back down along with the other students until it was only you and the mentor left standing. "You think telling your 'boyfriend' about me would scare me?" He mocked you with your head still hung low. "You have to try better than that." He smirked, pulling a chair to seat on it. His legs were on either side of the chair, so his chest was pressed upon the back rest of the chair to face you. "Start."

You were startled by the sudden order and went into position, but you only started fidgeting out of fear. "Where... I.. sir.. Do I stand—"

"L/n!" He yelled at you, making you jump from the sudden raise of his voice. You knew telling Jaehyun was a bad idea. "Fix yourself, will you? The performance is due tomorrow and you're such a mess." The misery you were caged in were the happiness of the students as they started to giggle, your fist clenching hard until your knuckles turned white.

The music started, but you were still nowhere from moving your body. You just stood there, head hanging low while gnashing your teeth. You weren't angry at the mentor. You were angry at yourself. You were angry that you couldn't do any better. You practiced the dance so hard, yet it were still so far from perfecting it. You just wished some kind of spirit would possess you and lead your body.

The whole place started to laugh at you as they watched you shamelessly froze on your position. You felt a small jab on your ribs that made you open your clenched fists and saw Jeno standing right beside you with a grin on his face, your expression softening as he started to lead the dance. Slowly, you felt your own body move to the beat and rhythm of the song, being at the same flow with Jeno. The students only watched while the song ended.

A slow clap from your mentor was heard, a smile plastered on his face. "Way to impress me you two, huh?" He stood from the chair and waisted his arms. "L/n." His eyes moved to you, expecting yet another scolding. "I'm proud of you. Keep up that confidence and I just know you'll do great." You felt a smile creeping its way up to your face, before the mentor closed in on you and ruffled your hair. "Alright, everyone. From the top."

-----

The practice ended at exactly eight o' clock in the evening and you were already feeling drained, your sweat soaked shirt sticking to your body. Your forehead glistened with sweat, that ran down to the side of your cheeks. You panted heavily and flopped your body down on the polished floor.

Why that late you ask? Well, you and Jeno decided to stay for a few hours to polish the dance, him pointing out your mistakes and going back to the steps to correct you. You were grateful Jeno was a very patient guy, so whenever you made a mistake or wasn't executing the dance properly, he'd just chuckle and help you with your 'cute mistakes', at least that's what he called it.

"Finally..." You panted, Jeno settling himself beside you, his limbs sprawled all over the floor. "Done."

"You did so great, M/n! I knew you could pull this off." Jeno gave you a compliment that made you giggle, a hand on your chest to catch your breathe.

"And it was all thanks to you." You told him.

Jeno shook his head. "Ey. The only thing I did was help your body to loosen up."

"Exactly." The cute noises coming out of your mouth once more. "Do you think we should practice more?" You asked the older who moved his head to look at you.

"Still up for one more?" He smiled knowingly at you, while you nodded at him. You both stood up from where you both lied and you went to your position with Jeno moving to the speakers to play the song for the last time.

The minute you both finished, you were so exhausted that your knees couldn't hold themselves up anymore and you fell to the ground, groaning. You were panting heavily, starting to even your breathing at the same time laughing proudly at yourself for how well you've done. "When I get home, I'm gonna take a shower and then, throw myself on the bed and sleep."

Jeno could only laugh and you two were left with half an hour talking about all the things in life. You listened to him rant about how the mentor was being more harsh on you than the other students, but you only shook the topic off telling him that it no longer mattered and that he should already move on. You had also thanked him for helping you, during that time when you had to do the dance routine all by yourself. You really didn't know what else to do than to just stand there and sulk.

A few minutes later, both of you were now starting to pack, Jeno having to make a quick visit to the restroom, leaving you all alone inside the studio. You were changing into a dry shirt, when the voice of the janitress from behind the window made your body go tense as you jumped and turned towards her. "Oh, fuck." You sighed out in relief, holding your hand close to your chest. "You scared me, ma'am."

Her eyes turned into those that looked like crescents and smiled. "My bad. Probably shouldn't have passed by unannounced." She nodded and proceeded to mop the hallway floor.

You were about to ask her about a certain matter that was troubling you, but when you lifted your head to face the woman, she was not there anymore. "Uh.. probably left for something." You shrugged it off and went back to scrolling through your feeds, the certain feeling of being watched sending chills down your spine. The silence was so deafening that you started to whistle to a song you were currently into, just to help calm the unnerving feeling. You started to feel all the hair on your body stand on its end when a very harsh opening of the door sent you off flying, then to the ground your heart beating so fast. "Shit!"

Jeno was obviously confused why you got so scared by him just pushing the door open, but he was also laughing at your state which made you glare at him. He helped you stand back up to your feet, as you dusted your pants from any invisible dirt. "What the hell happened to you?"

"You scared the shits out of me. That's what happened." You scoffed at him, hitching your back higher onto your shoulders. "Let's go." You two vacated the room, making sure to lock it, but you told Jeno not to since the janitress was still yet to finish cleaning, but Jeno was greatly puzzled at what you had said.

"What in the world are you talking about?" Jeno laughed lightly before proceeding to lock the door and hung an arm around your shoulder.

"I saw her through the window." You added.

Jeno shook his head in disbelief and didn't fall for your trick to scare him off. "First, the school does not hire a janitress or a janitor, since they have working students. Second, so the dance major students don't get distracted, the window inside the room is tinted, so you basically don't see anything outside."

You felt your heart sink at the revelation as you felt all your blood get drained. "Are you... s-sure?"

"Yeah." Jeno answered your question. You slowly turned your head back towards the room, the windows and saw a black figure waving their hands at you that made you sprinting off to the entrance, leaving a dumbfounded Jeno as he followed behind you. "What the hell, M/n?"

"Shut... up! You were not the one left inside the dance room, so you wouldn't know how much I'm fucking scared, right—"

"M/n!"

"FUCK!" You screamed on the top of your lungs, stomping your foot and punching the air for no apparent reason. "Jaehyun, you... nevermind. Just take me home, please. I think I'm already fucking wasted." Jaehyun, who was on his casual attire, approached you and placed a kiss on top of your head.

[yslkook]

WRONG (3)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: you find yourself at the tattoo parlor more often as of late. also, jungkook hates lemon jelly filled donuts and is easily bribed by mint chocolate and macarons. pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc warnings: cursing, excessive use of pet names, kinda toxic friendship

Sora’s unbridled passion for why she believes Jungkook is wrong for you has never irritated you as much as it does in this moment. You’ll never understand why she’s so adamant about the topic, when it’s not her decision. When she knows that you’ve been harboring a small crush on the man for years now, and you’re fairly certain he returns your affections.

When the man told you that he had put an orange heart next to your name, you knew it was real.

You don’t understand why Sora is determined to make things so complicated, when they don’t have to be. You don’t believe her claims that he’s a fuckboy, that he treats people like trash. He’s shown you the opposite. He’s so gentle with everyone, not just you. He’s blunt but he has a big heart under all of the leather and layers of black.

If there’s a word to describe him, it’s dreamy.

Which is why you’re so hurt that Sora refuses to give him a chance. After all, if she was your best friend, shouldn’t she offer him a chance for your sake?

It confuses you.

“I’ve heard so many bad things about him,” Sora says knowingly, swirling her glass of wine in her hands. You don’t feel very much like drinking, not when your stomach swirls in unease. Being in her apartment is nothing new, but right now, you’d rather be anywhere else.

“But what things? And from who? Jungkook is such a genuine guy and he hasn’t done anything for people to start rumors about him,” You protest, but your words fall on deaf ears, “And I like him-”

“I mean come on, have you seen him? The man radiates bad vibes. My friends have all said-”

“Bad vibes? You’re dismissing him because of bad vibes when I’m telling you that-”

“I’m your best friend, don’t you think I know these things?” Sora says, heat and arrogance in her voice, “I’m only looking out for you. It’s shitty that you’re dismissing me for a guy-”

“I’m not dismissing you-” But your voice grows smaller and smaller, something that you think Jungkook might be disappointed in you for.

“It sure as hell sounds like you are,” Sora sneers with a cold sort of tilt to her lips, “Listen. I’m just looking out for you, even if you don’t seem to appreciate it. I thought we were best friends. Friends look out for each other, but if you don’t want to listen to me, that’s on you.”

Something dry settles in your throat and something heavy settles in your chest.

“He’s not good news,” Sora continues, as if she can’t see your heart beginning to ache, “I’ll find someone who will treat you much better, don’t worry.” She pats your knee in a way that is supposed to be reassuring but you wince.

You don’t want her favors, but it’s too late for you to protest. Besides if you did, she’d feel awful and you never want to be the cause of her being upset. She’s your best friend after all. And what kind of friend would you be, if you upset her to that degree?

But still... you don’t want anyone else. You want the sensitive man who gets misty-eyed by powerful renditions of Beyonce songs, the man who texts you until you fall asleep, the man who asks you what color to paint his nails when he feels like it.

You kind of want the sensitive man dressed in layers of black.

You let Sora talk your ear off about all of the guys she has in mind for you, but you stop listening. You don’t understand this vendetta she has against Jungkook, the vendetta that she’s always had. But she is correct about one thing- she is your best friend and has your best interests at heart...right?

The four walls of the tattoo parlor that you’ve begun frequenting more and more often begins to feel more and more like a welcome place in recent days. You’ve always been friendly with the guys, especially Yoongi and Hoseok.

Even if Yoongi doesn’t work at the parlor, he’s here frequently enough.

Though Yoongi and Hoseok are some of your oldest friends, you’ve only come to the parlor a handful of times in the past. Once that realization hit you, you’d made it a point to stop by more often.

Why hadn’t you before?

They’re your oldest friends, but these days, you feel closer to Mina and Mei as well. While you do have other girlfriends who you see as often as your collective schedules align, it’s still different.

But still. You don’t know if you’ve ever truly belonged with anyone. You feel as if you’ve been floating through life, with Sora by your side (at least half the time, when she’s not spewing criticism over the man you have feelings for).

Thinking about it gives you a headache and makes you feel nostalgic for something that you never had. But maybe it’s something you can have.

“Hey, you,” Mei calls from reception, where she’s sitting next to Hobi who waves at you, “What brings you here? Finally gonna let me pierce you?”

“I brought donuts,” You shrug, “And I’m not ready for that surgical instrument to touch me, thanks very much.”

“You can stop by without the pretense of bringing sweet treats over,” Hobi says knowingly, “I mean none of us will complain about donuts, but you know that right? You can come by anytime you want.”

“O-okay,” You nod, your throat feeling a little dry.

“Now, come here and let me see what you got. If there’s a lemon jelly filled donut, save that for Jungkook. He hates them.”

“You got plans this evening?” Mei asks, grabbing her bright red purse that’s nearly the size of your head. Her purse matches her bright red nails and for half a second, you’re mesmerized by the glossiness of her nails.

“No, other than getting ready for tomorrow’s day of work-”

“Great! Wanna come with me to the tattoo supply store? I have to pick up more needles, grips and gloves.”

“Sure,” You shrug, a little excited at the prospect of a quick adventure for Mei, “I’ll just say bye to Hobi.”

He’s already watching you with mirth in his eyes, as if he knows what you’re about to say. “Hey, will you tell Jungkook I said hi?” You murmur, feeling your ears burning at his smug grin.

“Sure, I will,” Hobi grins, “I’m sure he feels bad about not being able to say hi to you himself. He’s had a busy day.”

“Understandable,” You nod, “I mean, you guys say he’s the best in the city, right? I’m sure he’s got a waitlist of people who want to be tatted by him.”

“Maybe someday he’ll tattoo you, huh?” He says mischievously to which you roll your eyes and feel your face heat up.

“He would be so lucky,” You scoff, as if the notion of Jungkook tattooing your body doesn’t make something flutter in your belly.

“We have this competition at the parlor where the person who makes the most tips has to buy the supplies on a monthly basis,” Mei says smugly, “Usually, it’s Kook but for the last few months it’s been me.”

That doesn’t surprise you in the least- Hobi has told you that Mei and Mina are both skilled in realistic and watercolor tattoos, as well as piercings. You think if you were ever to receive a tattoo from either Mei or Mina, you would tip them for the mere fact of them being so close in your presence for so long.

They used to intimidate you, when Hobi had first introduced you to them. Mina with her sleek bob haircut, and Mei with her long, glossy waves. Both of them had nose piercings and their ears were dotted in different hoops and rods. You’d only caught a glimpse of their tattoos a handful of times- Mei has a full sleeve on her right arm where Mina’s tattoos seem to be more hidden.

They’re just so cool and funny and smart.

“How did you all get the idea for the tattoo parlor? Like, was it a business decision or were you all friends before?” You ask curiously.

“Well… Jin, Mina and I have been friends since we were kids, our parents are really close. Jin had this dream of opening his own tattoo and piercing parlor for the longest time. Jungkook and Hobi joined a few months after we officially opened. It took a while, but we’re where we are now,” Mei says fondly.

“That’s incredible! You guys started from the ground up,” You say, in awe, “That parlor is your baby.”

“Fuck, yeah it is,” Mei grins, “What about you? What cool tech stuff is going on in that pretty brain of yours?”

“Um…” Your face heats up at the compliment, “I’m currently helping in developing this app for one of our clients, it’s specific for tracking and trending information related to chronic health conditions. It’s still in its infancy, but it’s been fun! And it’s job security, I guess.”

Mei lets out a low whistle, “Wow, you’re doing something like that by yourself?”

“No, I have a pretty great team,” You shrug, “Something like that definitely can’t be done alone.”

Mei hums, “You’re gonna be great, Ms. CEO.”

“Yeah right, I’d never want that burden,” You scoff, “I’m good right where I am.”

With both of your arms full of bags of supplies for the tattoo parlor (and some extras), you both walk out of the shop and towards Mei’s sleek, black car. It’s late, and you don’t really feel much like taking public transportation. But you’re nervous to ask Mei for a ride home for some reason.

“Hey, did you drive to the parlor?” Mei asks.

“N-no, I don’t have a car yet,” You reply, “I only just bought my condo and didn’t want to make another big purchase just yet. I want to start looking though…”

“Oh! I’ll drive you home then,” Mei offers once she starts the engine.

“Are you sure? It’s kind of out of the way from here,” You reply, folding in on yourself a little in the passenger seat.

Mei only waves you off. “Oh, please. What kind of friend would I be if I just left you to get home alone?”

You bite your tongue, as vivid memories of Sora claiming that she didn’t have enough gas in the tank or her asking for gas money for the ten minute drive from her apartment building to your condo flash in your mind.

“Thank you, Mei,” You say gratefully, “Let me know how much to Venmo you, for gas money-”

“Gas money? For a seven minute drive? Is that a joke,” Mei gasps, “What do you take me for?”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry I asked!”

“Asking me for gas money,” Mei mutters, “You said you want to start looking for a car?”

Her smile twists into something mischievous.

“Yeah, I have no idea where to start though…”

“Ask your boy, Jungkook. Taehyung, Namjoon and Jimin work at a car dealership and they’re his roommates, I’m sure he’d be eager to help you.” Something in her voice is coy but you maintain a neutral face.

“Yeah… maybe I will,” You say thoughtfully, “Hey! He’s not my boy-”

“Alright, alright,” Mei relents gently, “But really, reach out to him. He’ll help you. So that those boys don’t scam you like the sleazy car salesmen that they are.”

When you see Jungkook next at the tattoo parlor which is conveniently on your way home from work (again with a box of pastries), you muster the courage to step into his office to ask him for help.

“Hi,” You say weakly, “Umm… I come bearing gifts. Got some of those mint chocolate brownie bars that you like, and those macarons-”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to bribe me, baby,” Jungkook says, smirking widely when your lips part in protest.

“If I was trying to bribe you, it wouldn’t be with mint chocolate. Disgusting,” You roll your eyes and squeal out loud when he lunges for you, giving you a teasing but tight back hug.

“Take it back,” Jungkook murmurs lowly in your ear. You hardly hear him, too wrapped up in the warmth of the big black hoodie he’s wearing. The soft, gentle scent of laundry and vanilla floats into your nose when you turn your head to press your cheek against his chest.

His heartbeat is faint against your ear. You wonder if he can hear yours speeding up.

“Mint chocolate sucks. It’s a fact,” You mumble.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” His voice comes as a low grumble from his chest and you swallow nervously. Before your nerves can get the best of you, he changes the topic. “Mei told me you’re in the market for a new car?”

“I don’t really know where to start, but I’ve already started doing some research,” You reply, pointing to your small backpack. You pull out a binder with meticulously colored tabs labeled in neat print that Jungkook raises an eyebrow at.

“What?”

“You just carry around a binder with your research on car purchases at all times? Is that what you do?”

“I have to be prepared!”

“Sometimes you just need a vibe check-”

“You want me to purchase an entire vehicle worth about a million and one paychecks based on just a vibe check? Is that what you did with your motorcycle?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook gives you a crooked smile, “And a little research. I guess.”

“You guess,” You mutter under your breath.

Jungkook has been more touchy with you once you had given him the go ahead all those weeks ago. He doesn’t show his affections with you unless you’re both alone, and it’s never anything more than hugs and the occasional brush of hands.

He’s melting you from the outside in, and you bask in his radiant heat. The thought of Sora’s approval doesn’t bother you, not when he hugs you like this.

But as always. Her disapproving voice worms its way into your head and you reluctantly peel away from him to sit on the faded burgundy couch with the box of macarons on your lap.

“So,” Jungkook says, immediately feeling the loss of your warmth in his limbs, “How can I help?”

tags: @kookdbean

MoM tags: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe

[lattechans]

𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: seeing two guys at the same time isn't so bad when there's no strings attached, until it turns out the two are actually best friends. however, as they are both sweet, there is still a smugness to them both that might just be your doom.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: nonidol!changbin x female reader x nonidol! wooyoung (ateez)

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: pet names, oral (f and m receiving), praising/lots of dirty talk and a lot of build up

𝐚/𝐧: better late than never, right? so sorry this took so long to post, my life got in the way of writing and all that but excited to finally hear what you guys think about this duo that's just full of trouble

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“as promised, i’ll be making you my specialty pasta for dinner tonight,” changbin told you whilst guiding you to sit on the couch at his place. you had been seeing changbin for a about a month now and truly enjoyed every aspect of his company – he was incredibly funny and caring and you two always had something to discuss about.

it didn’t hurt that he was an incredibly good lover too, treating you just right. and yet, you were seeing someone else on the side. not because changbin wasn’t enough, he truly was. but you had made it very clear you wanted nothing serious out of the relationship, thus you had agreed on a quite open relationship for now.

“y/n,” changbin snapped you out of your thoughts and sat next to you, hand inching closer to yours. you looked at him with a bright smile, happy that you got to spend time with him again. “this might come as a big surprise to you, so please don’t freak out okay,” changbin explained. your expression switched to one of confusion when he took your hand in his and carefully rubbed circles on your skin. was there something he hadn’t told you? was he secretly married?

“yeah?” you questioned under your breath, trying not to overthink the situation yet. “so i had a chat with one of my best friends and i told him about my dates with you, about how adorable and smart you are and...you know, other things,” his voice nearly silent by the end, however, his expression giving away how the thoughts of your naked figure beneath him truly made him feel.

you let out a laugh, thinking this was all he had to say; reassuring changbin that of course he got to talk about you, even your sex life with his friends. it was completely normal.

“well, the funny part about this is that my friend, wooyoung, found a lot of the things that i described to be very familiar.”

as soon as the name left changbin’s lips, you froze. you had started seeing wooyoung about a week after you had met changbin. wooyoung had grabbed your attention at a bar and to your luck, he had made the first move and asked you out the next day. things hadn’t really escalated between you and wooyoung yet as you were very much still getting to know each other but all you knew was that his kisses left you breathless and now in hindsight, he was very similar to changbin.

“oh, i–”

“so yeah, we made a short investigation into this and what we found out was that the two of you actually do know each other. and with nothing but good intentions, i invited him over tonight so that we could have dinner all together,” changbin explained, fingers still drawing calming circles on the back your hand. however, you couldn’t help but to notice the smirk appearing on his lips when a knock was heard from the door.

with that, changbin rushed to go open the door to his best friend and you were left squirming on the couch, suddenly conscious about how you looked – tugging your dress further down your legs, trying to combat the dull ache between your legs. why was this exciting you?

you heard the friends talk for a bit by the door, casually chatting as if wooyoung wasn’t invited over because of you.

“hey sweetheart, nice to see you again,” wooyoung chatted you up as he walked into the living room, quickly signaling that it’s okay that you were sitting down before you could get up from your seat on the couch. changbin slowly followed behind him like a shadow, but nevertheless, you couldn’t help but to divert your gaze between the two of them. both of them so different but inconceivable attractive, and buff.

“hi wooyoung, glad you’re here,” you greeted him with a smile, trying to hide your somewhat flustered state.

“she’s so flustered already, did you tell her?”

“oh about the thing? no i didn’t yet. you came over sooner than anticipated,” changbin explained to wooyoung, which undoubtedly peaked your curiosity even more. was this going where you thought it would?

changbin took a few strides to be able to sit by your side, hands finding their way to yours again. his touch still warm and comforting but a mischievous glimpse behind his dark eyes. “so, the thing is that we both really like you, so we figured that–”

“that it’d be fun to hang out, the three of us and, just have a good time together,” wooyoung interrupted and inched closer to the couch. you unconsciously licked your lips, the dull ache between your legs now almost pulsating. but you didn’t want to get your hopes up just yet.

“i was getting to that wooyoung,” changbin sighed and glared at wooyoung, who in turn just snickered. you knew wooyoung could be a tease but seeing he was exactly the same even with changbin, turned you on more than he would know.

changbin looked back at you, eyes scanning your features for a reaction, expecting you to not be as excited as you turned out to be.

“there’s no pressure of course. we’re both fine with this thing and–”

you didn’t want to interrupt but you really didn’t want whatever relationship you had with the two of them to be called ‘a thing’ anymore.

“can we not call it that?”

"what?" changbin asked, brows slightly furrowed in confusion. god, he looked attractive was all you could think about before you stuttered a vague answer.

"whatever this is..." you were signaling to the three of you with your hands, trying to get them to understand what you meant without saying the words.

“oh, would you prefer us to call it a threesome then?” wooyoung said without hesitation, and to no one's surprise, with a smirk now plastered on his lips. a devilish one at that.

and as much as that word should’ve shocked you, all it did was confirm that you were all on the same page about what was happening. so, you nodded and uttered a confirmation.

“that’s right sweetie, no strings attached...just pure fun,” changbin murmured and raised your hand to his lips, pressing a sweet kiss on your skin. it felt like his lips left flames after them, feeling incredibly warm in your clothing.

“such a good girl,” changbin whispered against your skin before connecting his lips to yours, his lips taking your breath away. you leaned into the kiss without holding back, your hands tangling in his hair as soon as they could, eliciting a soft giggle from changbin. both of your hearts doing cartwheels.

“let me see that beautiful body of yours,” wooyoung says as he kneels down on the floor in front of you, pushing the hem of your dress up to uncover you. after that, he let his hands keep rising up until he landed on your breasts, roughly massaging them in his hand.

“no bra? fuck,” wooyoung whispered under his breath, admiring the way your body moved in slow, passionate waves as your lips were attached to changbin’s.

"i want to taste you," wooyoung almost pleaded, hands trailing back down from your breasts to your thighs. spreading them open slowly, eliciting a soft gasp from you that interrupted your kiss with changbin.

"want to get on your hands and knees?" changbin asked, although it was more of a rhetorical question – you understood it as an order to be obeyed.

...

after positioning yourself on the couch, wooyoung climbed behind you, rubbing comforting circles on your hips.

“such a good girl, now, spread your legs a little wider for m– oh wow, you are so fucking sexy, baby,” wooyoung was basically drooling behind you. his words turning you on beyond your imagination.

changbin in turn, settled to kneeling in front of you, able to hold eye contact with you and presumably, help with the growing erection visible through his pants.

wooyoung eventually tugged you closer to him, his warm breath so close to where you needed him causing your body to tense up to which he sends you a sweet smile that you only catch a glimpse of before changbin’s cock prods your lips, turning your attention back to him. and with that, wooyoung licked a stripe down from your ass to your clit.

although the suddenness of wooyoung eating you out from behind nearly makes you lose your balance, changbin is quick to help you out.

“you can hold on to me,” he ensures. you nod and slide your hands to rest on changbin’s thighs, gripping on them to stabilize yourself before his cock.

the moans that you are unable to keep at bay sound like music to both of their ears and encourage wooyoung to go harder. he might have started off slowly, but is now ruthless and eats you out as if you were his last meal. his lips latch onto your clit, alternating between sucking and pressing his tongue flat. he groans and smacks excessively, sending vibrations straight to your core and rendering you speechless. wooyoung takes and takes and takes, finally pulling you even closer to him, silently instructing you to ride his face.

you don’t know if your brain received the message, but your body surely did. although your knees were giving out on you and you were at the verge of collapsing, his tongue had you entering all stages of heaven and hell at once and you kept chasing for more.

“babe, look at me.”

you pick up changbin’s command and look up at him. your hips stuttering once you met his eyes, half-lidded and blown with lust. he’s staring at you as if he was about to devour you, burning the very image of you in his mind.

“i think it’s time for us to give that pretty mouth of yours something to do, huh?”

you drew your tongue out as changbin slowly slid his length into your mouth, lewd groans leaving his lips as you took him in as deep as you could. you built up a pace he was pleased with, sucking on him with fervour, moans threatening to spill past your lips even with your mouth full. but you knew changbin liked it messy, so you were not afraid of letting saliva drip down your jaw onto the sofa, trying to slurp it up.

it didn’t take long before changbin was as much of a mewling mess as you were, choking on his spit as you continued to swallow around him, throat wet and tight.

behind you, wooyoung is nearly growling, telling you to be good and suck changbin, and you moan around the cock in your mouth at the filthy words he’s spitting right into you.

“gonna take him down your throat? let him fuck you? will you let him pound into your throat till you can’t even talk?”

you shudder as wooyoung presses his lips on the small of your back, hand coming to contact with your ass as a light spank. you can tell by the tilt in his voice that he’s smiling, and it sends embarrassment surging through you, and arousal. being sandwiched between these two beautiful men while you suck one of them off and the other one whispers filth against your skin, fingers dancing on your ass like a dream come true.

your pace quickens on changbin, your own high not too far away as wooyoung kept his attention on your clit, sucking on you with new hunger.

changbin’s hands tangle themselves in your hair, pulling softly on the strands as he loses himself in the rhythm; wooyoung slightly rocking you forward and making your mouth meet perfectly with changbin’s thrusts.

“fuuck, don’t stop,” he pleads, “i’m so close” and his head falls back, eyes squeezed shut. changbin’s skin is hot to the touch, and you notice the way his abs clench and his hard length throbs in your mouth. his lips are plump and pink from biting down on them to quiet himself, but it’s no use. the way your mouth so enthusiastically swallows around him has him falling face-first towards a climax.

his hips stutter and his thighs shake slightly under your touch, waves of pleasure rocking through his body as he finally releases thick white ropes of cum on your tongue. your mouth, tongue, and hands continue to work him, cum and saliva dripping down the side of his length as you suck him thoroughly, moaning around his tip for good measure. the sensation of it all almost overwhelming him now.

“i think it’s your turn darling,” changbin teased as he held your jaw, his cock falling from your mouth with a quiet pop, a moan leaving your lips directly as wooyoung hit an incredibly sweet spot with his tongue.

wooyoung just moans in response, clutching onto your hips as changbin toys his fingers now on your lips, admiring the way that there was still remnants of him around your lips.

“keep your eyes on me as you cum,” changbin hisses, chewing on his bottom lip as he watches the scene unfold. he swears he could’ve ascended to heaven right there and then as you struggle to maintain eye contact with him; struggle to keep your eyes open as you begin unraveling on wooyoung’s tongue.

your mouth opens for a silent scream, their names leaving your lips as gasps for air. you come back to soft praises, gentle hands wiping at your forehead, patting your shoulders, nimble fingers fixing your hair away from your eyes.

as wooyoung and changbin both look at you, the former rubbing softly at your wrist while the later stares at your teary eyes in quiet wonder, you allow yourself to smile at them.

“that was amazing.”

“glad you had as much fun as we did,” wooyoung murmured, wiping the sides of your mouth with a warm washcloth. you would have usually protested such treatment but you couldn’t lie – the sides of your mouth hurt from changbin’s girth and the soothing rubs on your thighs made the burning between them feel less uncomfortable.

after what felt like forever, changbin gently leaned to give you a tender kiss, letting himself sink down beside you on the couch. your thank yous were slurred, but he just shushed you and placed another kiss on your forehead.

“wooyoung c’mere,” you giggled when you realized that he had simply sat on the armrest of the couch, further away from you two. he took a quick look at changbin, and although you were unsure of what their silent stare meant, you welcomed him for a kiss that still faintly tasted like you nonetheless.

couldn't you just have the both of them?

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