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theodoraflowerday · 2 years ago

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young royals s2e2 live reaction

okay here we go I am hating this

"you can tell her I have nothing more to say" YEAH BOY

oh I'm gonna die lmao

they're gonna kill me that's it

the girls are so sweet ugh

MI SARA

my babies im going to cry

oh sara don't be like this

NETFLIX AND CHILL LMAO

hopefully not tho

oh man it really says a lot that everyone around simon hates wille :/

well ok not necessarily ~hates but like. from an outside perspective he really really did simon dirty

from an outside perspective tho

baby you've literally seen simon's face when he comes you cannot possibly be this dumb when it comes to staring at him

REALLY. THAT'S YOUR CONCEPT OF SPACE YOU DUMBASS SKFJDLGJDLGJFLGJKF

wille: simon wants space? ok. I will stare at him in the changing room but I will Not pass him the ball during PE.

(just occurred to me he's just jealous o wow)

wille making the freshmen overthrow the seniors is the single funniest thing in the world.

OH LMFAO HE REALLY SAID THAT

I'M LOSING IT

simon: SARA PLEASE DON'T-- wille: hello 😌

oh I forgot wille is trying to give him space

oh haha this one's about to be absolute shit

OH IS HE DOING A SCENE

OH HES DOING IT HES DOING IT HES JEALOUUUSSSSSSS

YEAH SIMON KEEP IT GOING

oh the gurls are fightingggggggggggg

what are you gonna do about all this tension? kiss?

can mr englund pls clear his throat he's giving me an asthma crisis

oh okay so that IS what happened. he randomly left his sweater w simon, then gets kidnapped, and then simon has a crisis about it

AND THEY WERE ON A FIGHT TOO

ok mr sweater thief who are you charlie spring

oh he's deep in his feelings about it

SOMEONE START FILMING PLEASE

GET THOSE FUCKIN PHONES OUT AND START FILMING

oh no

oh my god

malin how could you. guess you didn't cheat but you're still a traitor

"at least you don't have to be crown prince" oh fuck you erik. doing this and dying. this bitch killed himself didn't he. on god if he did.

"i know you're grieving. we all are" oh FUCK OFF. FUCK OFF KRISTINA.

"unconventional relationship" what the fuck?

"i want it to come out in your own terms, not because someone forces you" did she just...... did kristina just say something that somewhat made sense?

"please can you just be my mom right now?" oh this is fucking heartbreaking I'm gonna die

oh wille baby

"i want you to see a therapist" WHO IS THIS. WHO IS THIS PERSON WHO'S MAKING SENSE AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE W KRISTINA

malin being a traitor and kristina being all "if you wanna come out do it in your own terms" and "see a therapist"??? who the FUCK are these people

"get rid of the bodyguards" AYYYEEEEEEEE

I cannot believe I just lived to see malin's downfall

can't y'all stop making heart eyes at each other and just fucking TALK

he went to the PRINCIPAL

wille straight up just acts like a scorned lover lmao

OH OH OH

"it would just be two years" baby do you even begin to understand what you're asking him? did you not listen to him at all? have you listened to simon at all???

KEEP THAT HAND OFF HIS LEG WILHELM [sprays him w water]

OH SHIT

I wish I was as true to myself as simon is when it comes to standing his ground

like it hurts me but he's so fuckin good

SWEDEN'S TINIEST BLADDER SKFJDLFKDLGKDÑFKFL

MADDIE IN HER KOALA SHEET MASK I LOVE YOU SO DEEPLY MADDIE

"why sleep w someone when you can just cum on your own" LMFAO SARA MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

"yes! yes preach it" MADDIE I LOVE YOU

sara that is 100% NOT a sign for you to go fuck august

don't fuck your classmates! don't fuck your classmates! don't fuck your classmates! don't fuck your classmates!

not the fish

I will simply lie down and cry idc

he put it on

I'm killing myself

oh honey boy

is it moral if I simply skip this entire thing

i am hating every second of this and they have literally only looked at each other and talked

"action" disgusting

I'm not watching this. I'm like actively looking away

oh thank god he's got morals

I still literally looked away that entire scene lmfao

"i think I want to have sex with you" oh sara

that is hilarious though

but OH SARA

HER FACE WHEN SHE LEAVES

AUGUST???? WHAT

oh he likes her? august was that a FACE? DO YOU LIKE HER?

wille is SUCH a teenager. I forget how young they all are and then he simply sits down to not talk during therapy bc he thinks he's being mature and rebellious and sticking it to the man and.... wow. he's a baby.

august also badly needs therapy good god child that's a whole eating disorder

oh no

oh that's gonna be fun (not)

oh he's so jealous

this is either gonna be super violent (he gets every clay thing) or super pathetic (he gets none of them bc he's trying to have a dick measuring contest)

oh it was both

the worst part is that marcus really is super nice like who can hate him (I can I am petty and wish he didn't exist but like..... I'll defend him tho. I will defend him)

BRUTUS

wille: oh really 😌

stella and fredrika are so weirdly nice lol

oh vincent is a little bitch isn't he

oh they're all so pathetic ksjgkdjgkdgjkfgj

"do you mean cheating" a line straight from my heart to the show yeah let's cheat here babies. all for cheating

OH HE DIDN'T TELL HIM

wille's a constant 😌 about it huh

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT

oh FUCK

fuck MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I hate every second of this season

why did it have to be a love triangle. why did it have to be this. didn't we have enough with the rest of the drama. lisa why.

review: still hating this lmao

#yr livenats #yr spoilers #yr s2 spoilers #young royals spoilers

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keshetchai · 4 years ago

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personal posting / alcoholic parent mention / medical

first mentioning that im furious at my primary care for not referring me for a covid vaccine because she can’t...prove i have asthma, because ??? “just because i prescribed an inhaler doesn’t mean you have asthma.” like, ...okay, whatever. thanks.

unfortunately, i do not feel excited for pesach. I actually love pesach. but I love it in person, face to face, at a table of people. i can’t have that. that’s probably for the best because as much as I love pesach, I don’t love a holiday with four cups of wine as a central ritual when my low-contact/estranged father has been an alcoholic for 10+ years now and his poison of choice is red wine. he’s hit the stage where he is dying slowly, but that could last years or months. I don’t know.

late december he was formally diagnosed with covid-19, when we thought he’d already caught it early on. then after recovering he had a stomach surgery scheduled for a separate issue, and basically the hospital had to stop operating because he was bleeding too heavily as a result of his enlarged liver. they stopped with only a small percent of surgery done, and stabilized him a bit, and then he got transported back to the US. because he basically hit his healthcare limit from private insurance in another country. now he’s on VA stuff. i think they recently discharged him, or will discharge him in san diego.

his kidneys and liver are failing, in addition to major intestinal issues, his gallbladder needing removing, etc. i mean, he will absolutely die of liver failure if he drinks any more. but relapse is almost an inevitability after forced sobriety while hospitalized.

his siblings - my aunts and uncle - all finally realize truly how bad it is. my aunt karen is close enough we were able to talk (masked, in person) about why I am extremely low contact with my dad, why I was frustrated my aunts and uncle kept asking me if I’d heard from my dad...etc. because like, I don’t. we talk on birthdays, father’s day, maybe new years, maybe once about my brother.

i showed her my texts history where it was literally just

2020 - my birthday, his birthday, question about my brother.

before that was 2019, i think an exchange about getting me off of his cell phone plan formally.

i gave her all the sordid details, about his drinking when he had custody visitation with me and my brother, about telling my high school teachers he was not my custodial parent/an alcoholic/unreliable, how there were a serious of fracture points in our relationship that broke it bit by bit until finally in college he spent father’s day weekend trying to convince me to volunteer to kick myself out of his apartment where i’d been sleeping on an air mattress and working as a temp because his second wife decided to rant to him how much she hated me and wanted me gone. how i sent him an email calculating his alcohol expenses weekly and told him he owed me money. a million other little things... and she listened and understood and sympathized and was mad on my behalf.

but i sent an email informing her siblings also of some of this stuff, about my feeling that my dad needs rehab and that we can’t force him to go, and neither of them responded. and i know it got sent, because karen replied to my email too.

the other two have been silent. what hurts is that of course, my other aunt A did text me the other day, asking if i could join a family zoom meeting saturday night, with my dad, to check in on him. no response to anything I said about how I feel about my parent who is an addict and slowly dying, lmao. just join a zoom meeting. I had to pry to ask if it was like, going to be an ~intervention~ or something.

i was so relieved to be able to say “sorry, not this weekend. those are the first two nights of passover, I won’t be available.” i told her i could be there some other evening, but not to hold up everything on my account, even if my dad did ask if i would attend. i pity him, i do. but i can’t help but resent everything done, and what i learned when karen told me he inherited about $40,000 in early 2018? I think? and he’s spent it all. he was working and he still spent it. i know when my mom sued for back owed child support, he settled. I don’t think he paid up in full - which that inheritance might’ve done.

when my grandmother had lost an eye due to cancer, she also funded his trip to the ukraine to meet some woman. she needed that money to get a glass eye. but delayed it for her son. he ran out of money on this pointless trip and his siblings bailed him out. they’ve been paying for his plane tickets. he continued to ask his dying mother for money, until karen intervened a little, and even then...

he ran through forty thousand dollars after my grandma died. and didn’t think about anyone but himself with that money. my aunt basically - i mean in nicer words - explained i won’t inherit anything most likely, he probably doesn’t have assets anymore, and i was like, well, yeah.

...this sounds cold and awful but i have assumed for awhile my dad will die young and also that his siblings will have to pay for the funeral. even if i felt obligated to do something as his first born child -- I don’t have the money for funeral expenses, mostly because of him!

anyways i’m disappointed my family didn’t acknowledge anything i said, i’m sad pesach is going to be isolated again, i’ve been stressed about dealing with expectations about how i should feel about my dad dying, with digging up old resentment and hurt and having to think about him more than i ever normally do...

i finally submitted an intake form for the local jewish fam services therapy offerings and they were like “we don’t have openings now, we may in spring” today and i emailed back like “i’m fine waiting, it’s already spring....” time isn’t real anyways!

maybe i should look for other therapists right now but i wanted to go with jfs first lol. just. sigh.

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horansqueen · 4 years ago

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You & Me : chapter 36

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: idk what to write here anyway no one reads it lol! but yea im posting this for Isa because she’s probably the only one who still cares about this story lmao ILYSM!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i didnt add because i didnt want to spoil this. theyll be added in the next chapter and probably at the END of the chapter lol

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 36 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 7th, 2018

I fell asleep on the bed as soon as we got done with diner. I finally had a day off and an other one the next day but I had been working non-stop for 6 days until late at night (or early in the morning) and I was exhausted. I shivered and woke up slowly, feelings my lips curl at Niall's touch. His fingertips were brushing up and down my arm, making goosebumps appeared on my skin, and I let out a low whimper.

"I missed you. How long have I been sleeping?" I asked in a mumble, forcing myself to open my eyes.

"You've been asleep for two hours." he pointed out before chuckling.

"I don't care." I let out with a childish voice. "I missed you anyway."

I squirmed a bit and ended up with my head on his lap. My lips curled into a smile when I felt his fingers slip in my hair and I breathed in, inhaling his scent and his expensive perfume.

I knew I was already fucked. I knew it was over for me and that if Niall and I broke up again at some point, it would kill me. At this point, being official or not didn't change anything anymore. I remembered back then, before I dated him, I always tried to suppress my feelings for him, I always managed to put a wall in front of them to hide them from everyone and especially myself. Right after One Direction's last tour, the walls collapsed and crashed, exposing my feelings to practically everyone, and at that time, it shocked me how much I loved him, how deep, real and intense my feelings were. They grew even more when we dated and remained stronger than ever for so long after he broke up with me. I was there with him now, my walls completely wrecked, and it made me realize that I had put my walls back in front of my feelings when I started dating Dylan but that wall was not that strong and Niall easily tore it apart without even knowing it. I was tired. I was exhausted to keep that wall there. Perhaps I had even helped him taking each brick off, one by one. Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was a team work.

"I was thinking we could go out tonight."

I groaned and wiggled a bit to press my face on his stomach, making him chuckle. "I'm tired."

"I know, but Louis says he misses you." he pointed out, making me groan again. "Come on, I'll buy you a few drinks."

I remained silent for a few seconds, wondering if I should go or not. I was pretty sure it would be fun but at the same time, spending time in bed, cuddling with the man I loved seemed even better. I moved a bit to lay on my back and look up at him. He was the only person in the world who looked good from this angle.

"Are you gonna stay with me the whole time?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes."

"You'll hold my hand under the table?" I added, staring at him and making him smile.

"I will."

"You're gonna dance with me whenever I ask you to?"

"Baby, we're not going in a club." he pointed out. It made my eyebrows raise up more and my lips part. "Fine, yes, I'll dance with you whenever you ask me."

My facial expression turned into a happy and satisfied one and I quickly got up, reaching for his closet.

"We have a deal, then!" I just said, trying to find something decent to wear before deciding on a pair of jeans and a band shirt (not a One Direction one, this time). It took me about 20 minutes to put make up on and when I joined Niall in the living room, I tilted my head as he got up.

"You look so good." I pointed out, moving closing and putting both my hands on his chest, my palms pressed on his blue dress shirt. "You're so classy and here i am, wearing jeans and a shirt."

He laughed a bit, moving his chin up slightly. "You want me to get changed?"

"No, I want you to get naked."

He laughed. "That's not happening. Louis is waiting and you know damn well he can show up just to annoy us." he explained with a smirk as I chuckled. "Tube?"

"Cab?" I argued, raising my nose up.

I didn't want our pictures taken, I didn't want to meet people, or get caught by paps. All I wanted was a nice evening with my friends and mostly, with Niall. He moved his arms around my waist, intertwining his fingers on my back and nodded slowly before sighing.

"Anything you want."

I smiled at him and moved closer to kiss his lips. He tasted good and I felt his hands move up on my back before smiling against his lips. If he changed his mind and asked me to stay home, I definitely wouldn't be against it. Unfortunately, we ended up at the bar quite quickly and after a while, I just stared at my glass, lost in my thoughts, before Louis leaned closer to me.

"'Dans la lune'?" I smiled and looked up, meeting his blue eyes. His lips curled too and he raised his eyebrows. "I've been practicing. How's my accent?"

"Almost as bad as Niall's." I just said, laughing when I saw him frown as his lips parted in shock.

"Hey, wait!" I heard, turning to Niall who was frowning too, clearly insulted. "I'm very good at that!"

"Honestly, no you're not." I admitted, raising my nose up and shrugging. "I'm sorry but you both suck at it."

"Well, you know what I'm good at?" Louis asked, getting up. "Paying beer for everyone."

He left and I turned to Niall, frowning a bit when he was looking away. I followed his eyes and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he was looking at a girl, sitting afar at a table. I took the time to look at her and bit my bottom lip before sighing. I couldn't be jealous, not now, and I couldn't pretend the girl was not beautiful. Still, it did hurt me and at the same time, it was ridiculous to expect him to never find an other girl pretty in his whole life.

"What are you looking at?" I asked low, getting his attention back.

His eyes roamed on my face and he blinked a few times. "Oh, no one."

"I didn't ask 'who', I asked 'what'..." I pointed out, licking my lips. "You were looking at that girl? She's pretty."

It was a lie. She was more than that, but it was too hard to admit.

"Yea, not bad." he replied, making me roll my eyes.

"Look, I know you think she's sexy, don't lie to me."

He sighed and reached for my hand under the table, making the left corner of my lips raise up. It was hard to be mad, or feel sad, when Niall was looking at me like that and I just tilted my head, staring right back at him. It didn't matter if he found other girls pretty, all that mattered was that he loved me, and that he wouldn't go back to his old habits.

"Okay, she's hot. But you're sexier." he bent closer to kiss me and I held my breath before he moved back slowly, remembering we weren't supposed to tell anyone that we were sort of seeing each other. He looked away, but not in the direction of the girl, and I just licked my lips as I watched him grab his beer and take a sip of it.

"Have you ever thought about having a threesome?"

He choked slightly and swallowed hard before wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. The sight was endearing and I chuckled.

"What?"

"I don't know, I was just saying." I proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making his eyes open slightly more.

"Would you be willing?"

I let my eyes move on his face and started questioning myself. I had no idea if I was and somehow, I felt like our relationship, whatever it was, was still very fragile at that point. Not our love, of course, that was strong, but the trust I had for him was still shaky and it scared me.

"I had a threesome before and it ruined the relationship I had with one of the girls. I think it's the main reason why me and her broke up."

He nodded and pressed his lips together. "Yea me too. Although I was pretty hammered I can definitely say it didn't help our couple, or whatever it was that we had." he paused and looked down before looking up in my eyes. "But we could make rules."

"Rules? Like what?"

He shrugged. "You tell me."

I stared at him again and I suddenly wished I never proposed that. I glanced at the girl on the other side of the room and felt something stir inside me. Yes, I was more confident about my body, but at the same time, I knew the bodies Niall was normally attracted to had nothing in common with mine.

"You.. can't kiss her. Or get your dick inside her." I pointed out, licking my lips nervously. "I don't want her to touch you, or-"

"Okay!" he laughed, shaking his head. "It'll be faster if you tell me what I'm allowed to do instead."

I groaned low and grimaced but I felt a bit better when he squeezed my hand again. I felt ridiculous for that feeling and I was wondering if it was my self-confidence that was getting low again, or simply the fact that it would hurt me to see the man I love making out naked with an other girl. I had seen Niall with other girls often in my life, and it has hurt me enough in the past, didn't it?

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to." he shrugged with a fond smile. "It's just a discussion for now. I mean, you know it's you I love, right?"

"Put yourself in my shoes, Niall." I tried to explain. "I mean we could have a threesome with a man."

"I'm not.. so sure." he replied with a frown.

"See?" I pointed out a bit louder, leaning against my chair and making him roll his eyes, amused.

"It's different, I'm not into men, but you're into women."

"But that's not what it's about." I explained a bit lower, tilting my head. "It's about us, and the feelings we have for each other. I've shared you so often before. I even lost you a few times. What if it happens again this time?" I sighed and shook my head. "I'll think about it."

"Hey, hey." he whispered, moving closer to me and leaning his elbows on his knees. "Don't stress over something so futile okay? I'd be totally fine watching you have sex with an other girl while I just sit close on a chair and jerk off f like a fuckin’ loser."

This time, I laughed and I just had time to see his lips curl into a smile before I tapped on the front of his cap, making it move down over his eyes. He placed it back and I noticed his eyes were shining. I tilted my head and my lips parted but just as I was about to say something, he kept talking.

"And yes, it would piss me off to see you get fucked by an other man." His gaze dropped to my shirt and moved up to my eyes again. "I'd probably throw him out."

I laughed again, feeling the sudden urge to kiss him. He smelled so good, he look beautiful and he was so close... All I could think about was grab his shirt with both hands and pull him close to feel his lips crash against mine. With all the strength in me, I got up and nibbled on my bottom lip for a few seconds.

"I'll be right back."

Quickly, I walked to the lady's room and leaned both hands against the counter, letting my head fall down slightly and closing my eyes. It was so tough to stay away from him all the time and it was starting to drive me insane. Of course, I didn't want our relationship out in the open but if our friends knew, it would make things a lot easier. I was so sure it was the right thing to do a few weeks ago but now, my certainty was faltering. It was harder and harder as the days went by and even if it was just to protect me at first, I knew it was useless now. I loved Niall. I always would. And being official or not wouldn't stop me from hurting if he decided to leave again.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone in my pocket, moved my shirt up and bougfht my phone up too, to snap a picture. I quickly sent it to him before unclasping my bra and moving it up, taking an other picture. I sent it too just as I was getting a message from him.

'Fuck petal show me more'

My lips curled at his words and It only took a few seconds to get a second one.

'I want to suck on your tits so bad pet'

I swallowed hard and felt my whole body throb as I typed an answer. 'Do it now, then.'

I leaned against the counter and waited but when the door opened, I felt my heart jump in my chest, hoping it was not someone else. I sighed when I saw it was him and his eyes roamed on me for a few seconds. He turned around and locked the door, making me chuckle and I held myself back on the counter with my two hands.

"I hope we don't get caught."

"I don't care." he replied, making me smile more.

He took a few steps closer and even If I should have expected it, I held my breath when he bent down quickly. His lips wrapped around one of my nipples and I felt my legs tense as a short whimper got out of my throat. I felt his tongue flick on it before he sucked on it gently and when he moved to my other one, I glanced down only to see how hard the first one was. I remained motionless, my eyes half-closed, as his mouth, lips and tongue focused on my tits and after a while, my lips parted, my eyes closed completely and I let my head fall back on my shoulders slightly.

He stopped and I felt his hands on my hips, helping me up on the counter and when he moved between my legs, I felt my heart jump in my chest. His lips found mine and his hands reached my breasts as he kissed me deeply. He had moved his cap around and I just reached it to take it off, leaving it on the wet counter and slipping my fingers in his hair.

"Why didn't you wear a skirt, lover, it would have been easier to fuck you."

The sweet nickname made me smile against his mouth. I loved how impatient he was and I could feel his hard cock press on one of my thighs. He rubbed himself gently against me and I moaned again in his mouth before pulling away and licking my lips. I pushed on his chest gently and got off the counter before taking a step back as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans quickly. He stared at me, his gaze moving from my hands to my face and back to my hands as I pushed my pants and panties down to my knees and raised my eyebrows.

"I can bend down for you."

He walked up to me, turned me around and pushed me against the wall. I held my breath as his hand moved between my thighs to reach my pussy and he groaned, grabbing my waist and pulling it closer to him before spanking me one time but hard. I pressed my palms on the wall and closed my eyes when I felt the tip of his cock press on my walls and let out a curse word when it slipped inside me. My fingers curled and my short nails scratched against the wall as he started fucking me hard and fast. His hands found my breasts again and he grabbed them hard as a balance to fuck me deeper.

I was happy both of us hadn't drank too much and when he leaned against my back, I felt his lips brushing near my shoulder as he grunted.

"No one turns me on like you." he let out, making me hold my breath again. "No one makes me cum like you."

He pulled me away from the wall and pushed down on my back, holding me there with a hand on one of my shoulders as he spanked me again a few times. I could feel myself throb around his cock as he remained still and when his other hand reached for my other shoulder. I bent down more, making sure I was far enough from the wall, knowing he was about to go harder.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum."

He started fucking me so hard I had to put my own hand over my mouth to make sure I wouldn't moan too loud and I felt myself reach an orgasm as he fucked me deep. I shook against him for a few seconds and he groaned, waiting until I relaxed a bit to pull out and jerk off quickly. It took only a few seconds before I heard him groan louder, the tip of his cock rubbing against my ass, and my eyes fluttered close when I felt him push himself back inside me, fucking me for half a minute before his thrusts faltered.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry." he apologized as I moved up. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his cock brush against my ass. "I came all over you. And then inside you."

The thought made me shiver and he ran his hands on my breasts before pulling on my shirt to cover them. He took a step back and I saw him tuck his dick back in his pants as I turned around. I moved my panties and pants up and then worked on my bra when we heard someone push on the door. I held my breath and my eyes got bigger but Niall just chuckled.

"Liv? It's El!"

Without hesitation, Niall unlocked the door and opened it, leaving Eleanor speechless. I had to admit it was worth it and I laughed a bit.

"Uhm when you two are... well, done, I guess? There's shots waiting for you..." she grimaced and shook her head. "Okay. Bye. Gross."

I laughed and walked up to Niall, getting on my tiptoe to kiss him. "Now she knows." I whispered.

"It's okay, I'm sure she won't tell." Niall tried to reassure me as I chuckled.

"Yea, like she'll keep that from Louis!"

We both laughed and shook our heads and I finally went back to grab his cap on the counter before we walked back to the table. It was useless to pretend we weren't together or anything. At that point, I knew we were fucked and that everyone probably knew about us.

"Finally!" Louis said when he saw us before pushing shots closer to us. He waited until everyone had one and he moved it up over his head to make a toast. "To Neil and Olivia, who literally can't keep their pants on when they're around each other!"

Everyone laughed and I kicked him under the table. It only resulted in him laughing and smirking at me but we all drank and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. Fuck it, why should I care if my friends knew?

---

"I want to write a song about that." Niall said as we walked in his house.

I let my purse fall on the floor and walked slowly to the bathroom to take off my make up. "Write a song about what?"

He walked up to me and leaned against the door frame, just looking at me as I washed my face and it reminded me of that time I was too sick to do it myself and he had done it for me. It made something stir in my stomach and I sent him a fond smile in the mirror.

"A song about sex with you." he explained, pushing his hands in his pockets as I chuckled.

"Make it more general, maybe? And don't use my name!"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Do you know me at all?"

I grabbed my phone to check the time and it's only when I saw the date that I frowned. Today was april 7th (now 8th), and I was sure I had something planned on the 6th. When I remembered, I felt my heart jump in my throat and held myself against the counter.

"Liv, hey, are you okay?"

Niall was close to me, I could feel the heath of his body against mine and his hand on my back and I swallowed hard before moving my body back up and turning to him, blinking a few times as he frowned. Could I really tell him that? Would I have the guts to say it out loud?

"Niall, I'm late."

He frowned for a second and then he understood. His lips parted and an expression appeared on his face. It looked like fear.

"It's... it's stress, right? You're on birth control?" he seemed panicked and I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly extremely guilty.

"Yea but those pills aren't a hundred percent safe." I pointed out, shaking my head before my traits softened. "No it's probably just stress, I've been working a lot and not sleeping much..."

He nodded and searched for his phone in his pocket before dialing a number quickly. I frowned and walked closer to him, wanting to ask him who he was calling but I didn't dare. He turned to me and showed me his forefinger, telling me to give him a minute and he left. I leaned against the counter again, head down between my shoulders, and felt myself tear up. I had been through so many things recently and I was exhausted. Adding a pregnancy to my life was not a good thing at the moment and I was also scared it would break something between Niall and I, and I was not ready to lose him.

He came back and wrapped his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder. I looked at his reflection in the mirror and he sent me a loving smile that I sent back.

"I called the drug store. They're sending us a few tests. We'll be fixed tonight."

I felt relieved but also nervous and when the doorbell rang, we argued on who was going to answer. He won and I waited for him to come back, sitting on the couch and shaking my leg. He sat next to me and took a box out, handling it to me. I just stared at it for a few seconds until he pushed the side of his upper body gently against mine.

"Petal, it's okay. If you're pregnant, we'll adjust."

"It's gonna ruin what we have." I let out in a whisper.

In half a second, he was kneeling in front of me, searching for my eyes and when our gazes met, he raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing will ruin what we have anymore. Nothing. I won't let anything bring us apart. I want to be with you, Olivia. Okay, kids weren't planned before a few years but if you're pregnant, like I said, we'll make the best of it." he paused and sighed, noticing I was still nervous and he licked his lips. "Do you love me?"

"More than anything in the world. More than anyone I ever loved, or will ever love. You know it." I admitted, feeling my voice break slightly.

"I love you too. I'm in love with you." he stopped talking and handed me the box. "You can do this."

I was shaking when I got out of the bathroom and quickly put the stick in his hands. I was near tears, and I had been for about an hour, but I was not really sure why. His words should have made me feel better and they did, but somehow, I still felt extremely vulnerable and fragile and I was not sure why.

"Please, look at it for me, I can't do this."

I turned around, my back now facing him, and let a few tears fall before wiping them quickly. It felt like an other hour had passed and I finally turned around and sighed.

"So? Niall? Is it positive?"

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #yam #sorry it took me so long to update

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patchdotexe · 4 years ago

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explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"

#leo chirps #ttrpg #explorers of arvus #OKAY WE'RE CAUGHT UP NOW sorry abt that lmao

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

#lovely anon #BY THE WAY: do not feel bad or apologise for not answering straight away #you can take your time i know it can be exhausting (not bc its anything bad but just because its so much and so long) to answer to my shit #all at once*#so really i don‘t mind if you take a few days or a week or whatever to respond #or if you want to you can respond bit by bit/topic by topic whenever you feel like it #so you don‘t have to concentrate on an ask and my post for like AN HOUR DLSKJ but rather do it in smaller chunks #if you want <3 #btw i‘m always so scared that i‘ll type lonely anon instead of lovely dldjdjsksk so if i ever do that i‘m just being #(cue your autocorrect dldkdj) a dumb bitch #its 1 am now sorry if there are any mistakes (i‘ll stop apologing from now now lol but i still am sorry you have to read my word vomit lmao)#*apologis #*from now on #omg

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erght · 4 years ago

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today i got another example of why i should just try to do my best and stop overthinking things that would just drag me deeper in this rabbit hole of anxiety. so; earlier this week, i got assigned to join my PM on a meeting to clear things up for our out coming PoC. the meeting has already been arranged since 2 weeks prior cs the time difference between our time and montreal was quite the hinder for both side to compromise. its clear that we should make good use out of it cs anything left unclear would just mean that things would be put on hold till next year.

well; that was the catch but, on the day of the meeting, my PM told me that he was feeling sick and was on nebulizer atm so he told me to take the lead. of course i said roger that and please let me try, but in all honesty, i was trying to face the unknown. i mean; i was about 3 weeks in, i spent my first week on having a handover from they guy who would resign his post, then spent the next week on learning product knowledge, and this week—the third week—right from the bat i was asked to lead an important meeting. also of course; no, not that im making an excuse or seeking for one. im aware that i do know the basic and gist of the scope, but what i didnt know of is the background of this PoC. i just got the brief that it was about the planned integration of our system to their system and we are trying to make sure that it could work by having this meeting. fuck it—i said to myself—i should just try it first cs theres no way i would know things if i didnt try them first and just go with it. 20 minutes in, all went well. i got what he meant from his demo/guide to the integration, but then our IT—who also joined the meeting—sent me his questions by chat so that i could ask them in their stead. here comes the problem; theres a question from him that i didnt know of yet cs its related to our previous project—which obviously takes place way before i got to join the company—and i didnt know where to start with that question. theres quite the awkward silence, and since it was supposed to be on me—by my natural fear if i fuck things up in this important meeting—i started to stutter. oh fuck—i said to myself—i lost my composure, i failed to take the lead. then my PM tried to help me by explaining things by chat—bombarding, to be exact—which was not helpful at all cs my mind was done at that point as my head was filled with oh fuck i failed im doomed the face of our company is on shambles bcs of me blablargh. then i tried to ask them at some point—stuttered—which didnt quite received well by the opposition. at this point my PM chatted me “calm down”; which i replied “give me a sec”, “thank you but im sorry”. then my PM take off his nebulizer and take the lead. 15 minutes later; its done, with uncleared things. we were forced to arrange later meeting when both side got their time on the table. later on, i just got to know by chance that our high ups was also listening to the meeting but by using a separate meet link that was linked to my PM mics. my hells all breaks loose, i spent the rest of the day with headache and a constant silent screams. hm.

later that night; of course by my natural fear of things, i succumbed myself deep in anxiety. from how the next friday would be when it was scheduled for our weekly meet. to how hard i think it was for the sales to catch this foreign client just for me to fuck it up messily. to what should i do if we couldnt get the PoC working by the end of the year. to how busy everyone will be cs next week was our scheduled time for the yearly report to be finalized. to every little things that was fucked up bcs of me. to my own reminder that last week my dad was feeling sick—not covid—but still forcing himself to work instead of going to the hospital for check up. i hate myself more at that point.

later on the next day; i asked my PM, “am i in trouble?”. im prepared for the answer, i just cant help myself not to ask it just for fulfilling my anxiety or tbh to justify my own failure. which he replied; “not at all” “but calm down” “im sorry that im in a bad shape yesterday”, which i replied “im sorry”, with lots of crying emojis cs i dont want to make things even more awkward between us when he told me to just be informal with him when i kept using formal touch in between our talks. he just want to be that guy that his coworker could just laugh when they want to laugh and serious when its needed at times. he also laughs it off and we go on. i felt a bit relieved. but of course the anxiety was there. it persist. later after work; i called my dad, i asked him whether he had done his check up or not. which he said that its okay, that hes okay now, he was just tired that day and his old body just acting up. i kept telling him to just go to the hospital asap when its ever occured again, which he laugh it off. and of course i told him about it cs he somehow sense it out of me. he said “dont be so hard on yourself” “you did your best didnt you” “you did try instead of turning your back didnt you” “its okay to feel that way but that means you know wheres youre lacking at now didnt you” “you got to know whats to improve” “you got to try and face another problem on your way” “think more about the benefit of improvement than thinking the endless bad things out from it” “dont keep them on and brush it off” “now have you had dinner yet? if you havent then order some, order something expensive to treat yourself from trying your best about it then get some good sleep” “it will be okay” “now get your dinner”. so then, i had mine. it was delicious; and of course i cant sleep that well, its a different case than just having a simple dinner, but i got to sleep anyway.

fast foward to this day; our weekly meet, we talk about a lot of things but none of it was about my messed up on lead. she just said that lets do our best again next week, dont stay up late and take your rest properly. idk why; but maybe she had done her talk with my PM about it or about why did he got in such a bad shape that day without me knowing obviously its their talk and not mine. i didnt get the hard slap that i expected. well; maybe its still there, but just on due lmao. its okay. i want to believe that its okay. cs; it is, okay. lets just try our best, me. believe. its our power that no one could do, to ourself, cs we had to believe in ourself first before letting them believe in us. you had to believe in me, i got to believe in you. believe. lets try this.

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 5 years ago

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y’know the one thing I hated while I was doing my arts degree, and still hate after having graduated from it, is the condescending statement/belief from people that “oh why didn’t you just do a more useful degree like maths or science???? and not your useless bullshit mickey mouse arts degree, which was never intended to give anyone jobs outside of teaching, anyway!” or some other horrendous bullshit, such as: “why didn’t you just stay with communication & media studies and complete the marketing & PR major???? you would’ve had a job after all of the unpaid internships you do throughout the course!” or whatever. (media and communications is abbreviated to m&cs further down in this post, just an fyi).

but, meredith. do you know that even people with science & maths degrees struggle to find meaningful work that’s related to their degrees? do you know that some of those people will turn to teaching anyway just because they feel like there’s nothing else that they can do??? do you know that some people (mainly me and probably quite a few others) just can’t handle maths past like idk year 6 level??? I would’ve been completely and utterly fucked if I even tried to set foot in first year uni science or maths subjects. even though some of the content did interest me.... (also there’s the fact that my handwriting wasn’t good enough for diagrams etc etc in maths & science- but that’s a whole other topic not for this post).

like I had to totally skip out of psychology/sociology and even the PR major, bc they required you to do statistics subjects.... where no matter what level of study I would’ve/could’ve done for those subjects, i would’ve still failed them spectacularly because my mind really struggles with processing and working with numbers. but that’s besides the point.

hey earl, do you know some people simply do not suit particular fields of “real world” or “practical” study areas like business subjects? trust me. I tried that one sem of marketing 101 and intro to management/ business communications in first year. and you know what I found? that my mind just could not take the complete and utter dryness of the content of marketing theory and, again, numbers. and that’s despite the earnest encouragement of my tutor, who thought I had a knack for marketing. i literally almost fucking died in that business communications subject... even though the lecturer seemed to like me as well. but as i thought further ahead into my degree in comms & media, i dreaded it. I absolutely fucking dreaded it. the PR stuff sounded as equally dry & boring (besides the point that every project was group work lmao) and so did upper level marketing subs in advertising/marketing strategy/various fields of marketing etc etc. i couldn’t stomach that lmao. and besides the point, the analysing of media just bored the fuck out of me too, for some reason. I just didn’t like the subject. hell, even my advanced diploma in marketing from business college was a fucking hard slog for me.

but when i sat in my english, philosophy, (kind sorta) history and -further down the track- creative writing subjects.... I fucking loved them. I was writing like I’d always wanted to. okay yes I did get pretty dismal marks in most of my philosophy and english exams or assignments. but I don’t fucking care. I was there doing what my mind was built for. if id tried another business subject, like intro to economics or even gone back to redo that “intro to management”/“business communications” (or whatever it was called) as an elective/as electives, i probably would’ve dropped out of either of them in the first 2 weeks. whenever i read those subject descriptions, they literally put me to sleep.

also, for the media and comms point. do you know that there’s loads of media & comms students that don’t get jobs because there’s just such a HUGE intake of students in those courses??? do you know that that the most popualr field in that degree stream (at least when I started that degree at my local home uni in 2015) was journalism & professional writing??? where literally EVERYONE was aiming to be a journalist????

I was one of the very, very few people when I began in media and comms, to outwardly say that she was there to do marketing or maybe the marketing & PR double major.... and everyone looked at me as if I was insane. “why don’t you want to be a journalist? I think journalism is so cool and that I’m more likely to get a job in that than you are in marketing or PR. you actually engage with real people in journalism and do meaningful stuff with the community!” was one of the utterly dumb responses I sometimes got from people in that course, when I told them the above. but you know what kelsey, or, trent? neither one or any of us are “more likely” to get jobs in media & comms... when you’re both competing against people with “proper” straight journalism degrees who might have more media experience than you- if you didn’t do an internship or do some uni newsroom/magazine or whatever.... or maybe more streamlined (if that’s the right word) media &comms degrees.... as well as generally competing against each other, in the same field, for the fucking same exact jobs. while im competing against commerce students doing marketing and PR and people doing the PR & marketing major in m&cs.

also in relation to the above, doing multiple unpaid or even severely underpaid internships in journalism, or even marketing, probably won’t fucking secure your chance of getting a bloody job, adam. just shut the fuck up. those internships may have helped you. but they most likely won’t help most people, theresa. because there’s only a tiny freakin chance that the place that they worked for will actually give them a guranteed job at the end of their internship’s timeframe or at the end of their whole degree. it’s a fucking scam lmao.

and plus, (not to be as rude as you were to me).... but why the FUCK would you want to go into journalism.... when it’s been debased so fucking much by media outlets like buzzfeed; writing nothing but clickbait bullshit listicles.... and is polluted by internet virality.... so much so, that more than half of the people my course had the career goal of being a viral youtuber or an instagram influencer???? like i’m sorry. this is a dumb asf course, no matter the field you’ve chosen to study.... and there’s no way that a single one of you will be a successful viral youtuber or an instagram influencer???? what on fucking earth led you to believe that????

like no offence. but there’ll only be a lucky, lucky, lucky few who get to be the next jennamarbles, ray william johnson, pewdiepie, lily singh, tanya hennessy, jeffree star, james charles, etc etc.... or hell, even friendlyjordies (if you want some satire & politics). and for instagrammers.... idek know them. someone list some instagrammers lmao. but my point still stands.

being an influencer or youtuber- both with huge followings- is a fucking pipe dream- as much as me being a hugely successful author is. it only goes to the insanely lucky, lucky few who have the right connections and the right digital savviness/finesse to grow to be uber successful.... or who started super early, before it was even considered a job title (like jenna mourey/marbles and ray william johnson listed above, and several others not listed who have big fan followings on here) and eventually grew to be the first original titans of the youtuber job title.

or again, they already have some type of other successful media career (like tanya hennessy is an aussie radio announcer. jeffree star had a short lived myspace music career in the late 000s mostly, and made cameos in emo music videos and LA ink at the time also, for example) so that they can successfully fund their youtube channels and/or instagrams as side projects or whatever, as part of their media portfolio.... and they also know how to engage and grow follower bases etc. because they already have an existing one. so it’s twice as easy for them.

tbh i actually entered the m&cs course bc of my use of this hellsite and all the weird trends it had and stuff.... but I eventually got over that as I realised that I just did NOT fit into that field of study. I realised I was too shy... and I also just hated the fact that I had to learn how to use twitter and wordpress and probably eventually snapchat & instagram 😂

i had also gotten sick of follower counts and “growing a following”- considering that by 2015, I’d hit over 3,000 followers on here, I think.... and I realised just what energy and time it took to build this blog.... and my followers.... that I just didn’t have the energy to expend on other platforms for the same thing lmao. like it seemed like more wasted time. I was tired. in addition to that, i also realised that i didn’t want to waste my whole fucking career on the internet worrying over a business’s/company’s multiple corporate social media channel follower counts and image etc.... when i’d done enough of that for myself on this hellsite lmao. doing that stuff with other students in the m&cs course seemed fake asf, especially when it came to giving feedback comments etc lol.

but do you know that one place where you don’t have to give a flying fuck about followers, post views/comments, and blog views? philosophy and english. lmao 😅. no one gives a fuck what you say. unless, of course, you have the evidence and the force of argument to back your pov up. that’s what I was about and am still about. I loved reading and analysing the many books I had to read (contrary to the complaint posts that I made on here lmao)- whereas learning about media and who owned what and how media is manufactured- just made my brain freeze. and although I didn’t do my readings in philosophy (lmao)- i enjoyed a good bulk of the content I had and the issues it involved. doing media & journalism subjects in the m&cs degree, on the other hand, terrified me, bc it meant I had to get in front of a camera and speak- which also scared me bc i look & sound terrible on camera lmao 😂. but I didn’t have to do that almost throughout the entirety of my arts degree (im obvs not counting class presentations in this lol). but do you get my point???

and also the teaching comment. don’t get me wrong, i know a good bunch of people go into teaching after their arts degrees... including many of my friends; and a load of the people I was in my arts degree with. but that is mainly because with other degrees like journalism or media & comms or whatever other fields that they overload into uni arts departments- have taken our job titles away, in a sense....

so, then you’re practically forced to either go into teaching, or go into something outside of your expertise; like idek human resources management/a MBA via a masters.... or, again into something like librarianship via postgrad study- so, that for the love of fucking god- you have a job title to whack next to your name-!!!-instead of just “arts graduate” or “english major” or “philosopher” that all mean fuck all. and that’s because those labels sound vague, unhelpful, undefined and useless; as that’s opposed to something like “teacher” or “librarian” or even “information specialist”. all those titles/labels sound defined, and have actual useful concrete skills: like coding, database creation and maitenance & information retrieval (amongst other things), for a librarian/an information specialist, for example. these skills are then translated into something that you can physically demonstrate to people.... unlike with philosophy and english where people perceive that it’s just “all in your head” and “doesn’t produce anything worthwhile” bc of your very obvious skills that everyone has of communication and writing. like idk. anyway.

anyway here’s my rant for november.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona whines about her shitty life to her followers lol #uni #uni life

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ardnassakseyer · 5 years ago

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Oh... HI?

Hi there Tumblr friends, if I have any at all.. haha. Long time no fucking see. well... we all know what this means right? This means I’ve got a lot on my mind at 2:49 in the morning and everytime i have a lot to talk/rant about i come to... TAAADAAA.. TUMBLR!! Okay.. lets start off by saying idk wtf i want to talk about. Theres a lot. First ive been gone from tumblr for a while because i was working on my personal growth, i felt like it was going well until this QUARANTINE happened. Dont get me wrong, I am an extreme introvert, I am a homebody and i do have social anxiety so this has been a piece of cake for me and also kind of enjoyable ( the staying home of it all, not the “we might die if we catch the rona” part.) I am taking this very seriously and do NOT want anybody i love to catch this crazy virus or anyone reading this. Anyway we went off topic.. kinda. I was doing great.. some would say amazing? at this personal growth stuff. This RONA hit and we are forced to be locked up in our houses, which leads to crazy sleeping hours.. which leads to me being up at now 2:54 in the morning.. which leads to overthinking which leads to anxiety.. which leads to me being sad all over again over stuff I thought I put behind me. What a fucking mess. Let me start by saying not all of my personal growth has gone to shit. Number 1.. i have leared to let go and move on.. which is HUGE for me because i hate to say thiss.... i really do hate to say this.. I am a scorpio sign. I know... I KNOW what yall are thinking. NOT THIS ASTROLOGY SHIT. but hey... hey.. let me be!!! I am a scorpio, we as. ive heard and read and studied like to hold grudges and love revenge. scary right? true? kinda. I do in fact hold grudges A LOT. i will hold them for years and maybe forever. if you do me wrong, i feel bad for you because I am not the one you should come to when you want forgiveness. I simply dont care. you did me wrong.. im not going to give you a second chance to fuck me over again. PERIOD. anyways that was the old me haha. The new me has learned to let shit go and move on. Thats my new motto. Next, number two i believe. I have been more independent. who would have fucking thought!!!!! I like to keep to myself now, i get shit done and i dont care if you want to go with me or not, im going anyway. i have taken control of my life. yaaaaaaaaay! those are two of the major things that i have really developed. The twist to all of this is that some of that has plummeted.. not all of it but some. I feel lonely. ah yes... loneliness is awful. in my opionion atleast. I miss having friends. i have a friend, but shes rather busy being a new mom these days, and i understand! I love my new little nephew. But i miss having a friend to go over to, to talk for hours with, to text, to call, to laugh with. to send memes and tik toks too. i miss it, i do. (im taking friend applications).. no seriously. lol anyways thats been the biggest blah of this all. I see people doing zoom calls with their friends haha and just idk still having fun in this crazy time with other people and what have i been doing? College assignments, lots of eating :( and just bingewatching series on netflix. IT sucks sometimes. and this is the place where i can type and type and type and i dont care if anyone reads it because no one truly knows me here.. and i can say whatever i want even if it doesnt make sense. so i just wanted to come on here and type shit that might not even be relatable or get a lot of reposts or attention at all because thats not why i write these texts.. i just wanted to get on here and rant about how much is in my head. so this is what i had to say and im just going to press post now.. lol hope yall had fun diving into my brain for 10 min lmao or however long this takes for someone to read because its so fucking long!!! i promise to try and post more or maybe not, idk we will see IM AN ADULT. i do what i want, or i like to think i am hahaha. ok bye lmao DISCLAIMER: I didn't proofread this, there might be lots of run on sentences, the “i” might not be capatalized and a lot of typos/spelling errors!!! as a english geek... this will be horrifying when i go back and read all of this, as the normal me at now 3:13 in the morning, i give zero ducks. i mean fucks. hahaha bye.

#idontcare #tags are weird #relatable #idk #quarantine #mybrain #thissucks #nofriends

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psycho-slytherin · 6 years ago

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Strangers ch. 27

Your dizzy spells have gotten worse, but it’s time for you and Yoongi to shine.

Pairing: Yoongi x (female) Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Genre: Floof

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<–– Prev Next ––>

Okay. Okay. It’s fine. Everything is fine. Fine fine fine fine. Fine. Fine–

A knock at your door interrupts your whirlwind of overthinking, and when you open it you see your downstairs neighbor tapping his foot impatiently.

“Oh, hi there, Soobin. What can I do for you?” You’re cautiously polite, reasonably sure that by this point your neighbor despises you– when you flooded your apartment, his was also damaged, and your obnoxious alarms at all hours have probably driven him crazy.

Soobin yawns. “It’s two in the morning, y/n. I understand if you’re stressed or something. However, your pacing is making it hard to sleep.”

“Oh.” Your cheeks turn red. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you up.”

“Get some sleep,” your neighbor advises. “I’m not trying to pry, but it’s hard to ignore when you’ve been pacing for the better part of an hour.”

“Yes- I will.” You apologize again before saying goodnight, and once you close the door you sigh and lean your forehead against the smooth wood. You’ve never felt so nervous in your life– just thinking about tomorrow raises goosebumps on your arms and makes your heart stutter.

You’re going to kiss Yoongi.

You. Are going. To kiss. Min Yoongi.

Well, your character is going to kiss Yoongi’s character. But still.

The first time you saw Yoongi, back when he called himself Agust, you’d fainted. Just seeing him was enough to overwhelm you entirely and make you lose any semblance of dignity. And now, that man, your idol, your dream, is going to kiss you.

As you climb into bed, you pray that you’ll be able to at least keep your balance tomorrow. Today. Whatever. You need sleep.

“Fame, flashlight– gi-give it to me!”

You shoot upwards, jolted unpleasantly out of an equally unpleasant dream. “Son of a bitch,” You groan, rubbing your temples. Your head hurts terribly, and the comments you’ve been reading online followed you once again into sleep.

@captainkookie21: hey throwback to when @yourname was a no-name who didn’t sleep her way to the top, amirite? Our boys are too good for her lmao

@seventeengoingonseokjin: im so conflicted about #MoonOverTheSea like?? Do I stan because Yoongi? Do I hate because @yourname? What’s the protocol

@namjoonforpresident: Y’all there’s a rumor that there’ll be a #MoonOverTheSea footage leak lmfao didn’t they barely start filming

@bangtan-uwus: unpopular opinion but fuck @yourname and everything she stands for. I’d understand if she were actually famous but she aint and she doesn’t deserve yoongi

@captainkookie21: @bangtan-uwus lol you mean popular opinion

“Ugh.” You bury your face in your hands, squeezing your eyes shut tight, tight enough to keep everything out. There’s an emptiness in your chest so heavy that it hurts to breath, and you’re dizzy again– these spells have been happening more often lately.

Suddenly, your phone rings. The noise makes you jump and scramble to answer.

“Hello?”

“Y/n~ how are you, darling?” Lisa sings in your ear.

You force yourself to relax, force your voice to lighten for your friend’s sake. “Yeah, I’m great. How ‘bout you?”

“Tut-tut. This isn’t about me, hon. Second day of filming! How are you feeling?”

“Yeah, um– you know, good. Fine.”

“Convincing,” Lisa replies dryly. “Well, I’m downstairs. I can give you a lift to the set if you want?”

“Thanks, I’ll be right down.” You rush to gather your things and join Lisa in her car.

"We’re not going to film in the studio today,” you tell her. “We’re going to some outdoor location.”

“Ah, tell me the address?”

You read it to her off your phone and spend the rest of the car ride anxiously tapping as Lisa chatters. Yoongi. Yoongi. You’re going to kiss him, just like in your dream, the one you can’t even force yourself to forget.

“By the way, I’ve been noticing some mean stuff on Twitter lately...” Lisa says cautiously, and you freeze.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Lisa scoffs. “You need to tell me if it’s getting out of hand.”

“I’m fine, Lisa.”

“I’m feeling just fine, fine, fine,” Lisa sings as she parks. “If you say so, girl. Have a good day, yeah? Tell me everything!”

“You know I will.”

Lisa’s eyes narrow. “Do I know that? I’m just kidding. See ya!”

“Bye...?”

You turn and walk to where the film crew has set up tents and trailers. You spot Avery, and judging by her frazzled expression she’s clearly somehow slept less than you.

“Oh, thank god, y/n. Please tell me you’re the one decent member of this cast,” Avery exclaims when you approach.

“Uh... what?”

“The two leads aren’t cooperating because they’re jealous you and Yoongi have been in front of the camera most,” an assistant supplies. “And since the schedule changed and we have to film your outdoor kiss first, they’re both refusing to be onset today.”

Right. The kiss. Almost on cue, Yoongi shows up, moving through the star-struck crew.

“Are we getting started?” He asks Avery, not looking you in the eye.

“Yes. Yes! We are. Hair and makeup, both of you. I want you onset next to those trees in half an hour. If we have to do more than ten takes for any scene, I might go crazy. It’s fine. Everything is fine.” Avery says in a very not-fine way. Unwilling to provoke your director, you scurry off to hair and makeup, only relaxing when Yoongi is out of sight.

But you’re friends. And you’re only acting. This tension isn’t normal. You’re just friends. Why are you so damn nervous?

The period clothing is heavy, and too warm in the noon sun. Because your clothes and makeup are simpler, you trundle onset before Yoongi arrives, and spend the extra few minutes reviewing your lines.

Avery stands next to the camera along with the cinematographer and several assistants. At last, Yoongi walks up to you. You want to tease him about how dashing he looks, but for once the words fail you: how can you joke when it’s the truth? Yoongi is undeniably handsome, but now... he looks royal. He looks perfect.

Avery quickly walks you and Yoongi through the scene, including where you’ll move and when. “Y/n, we’ll start with your line, okay? Take one. Ready, and... action!”

“Isn’t the sunshine lovely today, Mr. Moon?” you sing sweetly as you walk with Yoongi across the field, cameras surrounding you.

“Not half as lovely as you, Miss Kim– though I do wish you would call me Sung-Min.” Yoongi looks at you for the first time today and you feel your cheeks heat up.

You laugh off the sudden rush of affection. “Then I am Ji-Woo. Even though it is hardly appropriate–”

Yoongi grasps your hands in his, and you nearly gasp. This wasn’t in the script.

“I no longer care what is appropriate, Ji-Woo. After all...” he pauses, the corners of his catlike eyes crinkling. “I fell in love with you, didn’t I?”

You giggle modestly, but the intensity of his gaze combined with your intertwined fingers makes you feel like something inside you is falling apart.

“I suppose you did,” you reply, keeping your voice level as Yoongi leads you to the large flat rock Avery pointed out earlier. With a swish of your skirts you settle yourself upon the rock, spine straight, hands folded in your lap. Yoongi stands in front of you.

“Won’t you sit down, Sung-Min?”

“What? Oh, yes.” Yoongi becomes more agitated, and begins pacing in front of you. Much like, you think bemusedly, your own behavior last night. “Y/n, I–”

“Cut!” Avery hollers, and you’re brought back to reality. “Yoongi, she’s Ji-Woo, remember?”

“Ah, yes. Sorry.” Yoongi nods quickly, looking embarrassed.

Your director sighs. “It’s fine– it’s going great so far. Why don’t we keep going from Yoongi’s line? Ready, and... action!”

“Ji-Woo, I’ve been meaning to ask you...”

“Yes?” You’re only supposed to look nervous, so why do you feel your heartbeat quickening?

“I love you, Kim Ji-Woo. I love you truly, fervently, and with every part of myself.” Yoongi takes a breath and with a start you realize you’ve been holding yours. “I think I was besotted from the moment I met you, and every day since has done nothing but intensify my affection. And so, I must ask you– will you do me the honor and privilege, on this day and all days hence, of becoming my wife?”

The tears are there before you have to summon them: Yoongi is kneeling before you, his eyes wide, pleading, hopeful, beautiful. You press your lips together and nod happily and Yoongi’s face lights up with euphoric disbelief and he rises, and he hugs you tightly, so tightly, and when he at last pulls away you’re left looking at each other, eyes wide, mouths inches apart, and you don’t dare breathe.

It’s for the drama. Just friends. Just–

And you have no more time to think because he’s kissing you, Min Yoongi is kissing you and he’s kissing you gently, lovingly, his lips are so soft against yours and he tastes like mangoes for some reason and you reach up to rest your hands on his shoulders and he cups your cheek as though protecting a flower and all this goes through your head in about two seconds because he’s kissing you and there’s nothing more distracting in the world.

After perhaps an eternity you break apart, and Avery once more yells “Cut! Great, we should do another take just in case.”

But you can’t hear her too well: your head hurts again, and you feel another dizzy spell about to hit you, but this one much stronger than the ones you’ve been experiencing lately, and your balance feels off and you’re tired, so tired–

Yoongi must notice. “Y/n, are you oka–”

“I am going to faint,” you announce, before your eyes flutter shut and the world turns to black.

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ruinaticns · 5 years ago

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6, 7, 8, 9 for roleplaying habits meme!

do you have ideal writing circumstances when you can do a lot of drafts or tackle really long ones very easily?

god okay this is going to sound ..... bad ( or maybe make me seem a little more fun than i actually am depending on how you take it lmao ) but i find that i can really churn out a lot of replies when i’m drunk in my bathtub sdjfsdkfjl. like i have a decent sized tub and it’s kind of built into the wall so i prop my laptop on a kitchen chair next to it, light the candles, get the bubbles going, and bring a couple of beverages with me. and voila

are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

doesn’t really matter tbh. i think i definitely get more done in the evening/hour of the night were the majority of people are sleeping but it really depends on my work schedule. if i’m off i can do some decent writing in the morning. but generally if it’s like noon, my couch has probably eaten me and netflix has stolen my soul.

how does tiredness affect your writing?

i hate it lmao. i either fall asleep in the middle of a reply and wake up with no damn idea of where i was headed with it or i’ll be half asleep in my bed and think of the most bomb reply ever. like i’m talking something i could ( if i was bold enough ) put into a book and make money off of it. maybe. but again, when i wake up it’s just poof, gone. so if im coherent enough i’ll try to make a note of it on my phone and hope my waking brain can work out wtf i meant. but whats funny is i’ll be like super flipping tired, but then the muse to write hits me and i swear it’s like .... crack or something because i could be up until the sun is up doing replies unless i force myself to go to bed.

have you ever written a serious reply intoxicated?

me ? drink ? never. ksksks. but honestly i had this one smut thread once with @coldbloomed and the only reason i survived was bc of my good friend franzia sunset blush and the fact that it was like 2 am. idk if you consider that serious but let me tell you it was not a laughing matter.

#why am i like this ksksksks #Anonymous

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jincherie · 6 years ago

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RHAAAAAA. IM SO EXCITED 4 SIREN!JIN!!! UR SNEEP PEEP WAS SO G8. CANT W8. THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF CELEBRATION JIN NEEDS 4 HIS BDAY. IM V EXCITED. CAN U FEEL MY EXCITEMENT?? WHAT ARE THESE FLOWERS HE HAS?? SIREN!JIN IS RADIATING SUCH BDE THAT EVEN THE LADY IN THE ELEVATOR CAN FEEL IT. DONT BLAME HER. I WAS FEELING IT THRU MY SCREEN. !!!!!!!!!! 💖🔥😋

GAH i know u sent this before I posted it but I hope it lived up to ur expectations!!!!! i was so happy to be writing jin again lmao!!! thank u so much for hyping it up and sending this babe!!! ily !!!! 💖💗💗💕💞❣️💝💓💖💕

sergentculotte said: Oh maaan… Thar siren!Seokjin was everything I needed! Funnily enough, I watched two mermaid movies tonight, the little mermaid (the new movie) and aquamarine, and then I got the notification that you posted, what a perfect addition to my great merfolk-y night! Thanks again for making me feel stuff with your words, xoxo

UGH YES FCK we love mer-moods in this house!!! fuccc!!!!! thank u so much for reading baby I hope you enjoyed it !!! 💖💗 ugh its been so long since i watched other merfolk-y movies jhfbjbf

Anonymous said: hi, I just found your account because I was scrolling through bts imagines and I was reading a lullaby on canvas for a good 5 minutes (you write so well by the way and now I’m staying up to read your other stuff lol 💗💗) and the app crashed so when I put in bts imagines again it didn’t show up so it’s almost been an hour and I just found your account/ the story again and I had to follow just to make sure I wouldn’t lose your account

HAHA love an obligatory follow!! But I am so so glad you’re here and that you enjoyed lullaby on canvas, thank u so much for reading and sending this my love!!! 💖💗 I’m glad you liked it enough to look for it again :)

rinatemme said: Hello! “A lullaby on canvas” is one of those works that made me feel so happy to read, it has an amazing plot, the descriptions are wonderful and you can practically feel the atmosphere, taste it. Thank you for writing it

hey babe thank u so much for reading aloc and sending such a lovely message!! i’m so glad you like it and think those things, thank u so much!!! 💖💗

Anonymous said: oh my GOD YOUR NEW FIC IS SO! GOOD! WHAT! THE ! FUCK! Allsldksjaldlslaldldjsjjslslsj have an amazing day 💜💜💜💜💜

thank you so much!!! sob!!! you too my love!! thank u for reading and sending this !!! 💖💗💗💕

Anonymous said: hi babe!!! i finally had the time to read a lullaby on canva and T____T this was really freakin cute !!!! and the way jin calls yn flower…. perhaps i cried a little… i love ur writing sooo much ahhh

nfhbfhjbfhgf god listen i am the biggest slut for a good pet name so i fnjhbfjhbf FFUCKKK i love it too!! sm !!! thank you so much for taking the time to read it, and then for sending his babe!! ily!! 💖

captainship97 said: So I read lullaby on canvas and I loved it! I do have a question though about a siren’s kiss. I’ve done a little research trying to see what mythology says about kissing a siren and didn’t find very much. So when you say that it was taking life force, was it just energy, or life span? If the reader were to continue to kiss Jin here and there would it be considered dangerous or something they can regenerate with sleep or something? Loved the story!!! 💜💜💜

HAHAHAHA ok to be fair i pulled a lot of shit right out my ass but I wrote that in concurrence with the idea that sirens, at least in this au, ‘traditionally’ lured sailors etc to their demise as they feed on their souls/energy/essence. I figured a way that made sense for them to create a link and siphon the energy would be via kiss. In this sense, I guess they’re not that different from how I shape incubi in my fics LOL. to answer your question I’d say its more like energy! it can regenerate, but too much taken can be harmful. In this au, some sirens are especially greedy and drink it all in at once– they’re the ones that started the myths :3

ALSO seokjin can control how much he takes, but he can’t stop the kiss from acting as a siren kiss– UNLESS the recipient is his bonded & mated, in which case his mate will be resistant. she can still give energy if she wants but its more a choice. So MC is all good in the end!! (also i’m glad you liked it!!! tysm for reading it and sending this!!! 💖💗)

Anonymous said: OKAY I have so many questions! First of all, seokjin x reader siren fic, I loved it! But also, is it a one-shot, because now I’m just, my mind is, I wasn’t ready. The picture? What is it? Why is the reader so moved by it? When did they meet? Did he move there after seeing her? Did he meet her after she moved to the apartment? How long has the longing been going on? Does he sing for her? because of her? Did he leave his life behind because of her? Just, amazing. no words, incredible, as always.

it is a oneshot, unfortunately! and seokjin’s artworks aren’t of anything concrete, but a combination of colours, shapes and patterns that evoke feeling in the viewers. there is nothing recognisable within them, yet the contents call to the deepest parts of a person’s being and tug. It is especially potent if the person gazing upon the artwork is the one that he had in mind while making it, as MC found hehehehe. its a little bit magical :)

And they “met” a year or so prior, when Seokjin moved in to the apartment next to hers! Although, that wasn’t the first time he’d seen her...

And yes, when he sings at night it was always for/about her. Ugh our lovesick little siren, singing mournfully about his “impossible, unrequited love”.... over time the tune changed though, often his song reflected how he felt after an interaction he had with her during the day-- it was usually sad if he didn’t see her. And regarding the last question, he left because he wanted to explore and travel in part but perhaps.... also bc of her.... :3

anyway thank u so much for reading and expressing such interest, I love having the opportunity to expand my worlds a little more for you all! thank u babe! ily!

Anonymous said: ahh… i just dropped by to say how much i adore your work. i reread the recent siren!jin fic bc i wanted to do a mock-up story board for the reveal scene (one of my favourite ever parts!!) and i loved the way you wrote it so much, like the whole fic but also that scene in particular. your fics make me so flustered and i get hot cheeks and everything - and yet i find myself creeping back for more. *‘you cast a spell on me’ plays from the speakers*

a m-mock up storyboard? OMO-- and gah I’m so glad you liked that scene! I love that scene too!! It’s one I had in my head from the moment I started brainstorming and planning it. Perhaps one day I will illustrate it as I imagined it but in the meantime.... ugh... i love it so much. i’m so so glad you liked aloc,, and even my other fics too! thank u for reading and for sending this in babe!!! ily!!! i hope u have a wonderful day!!!

#thoughtsfromaginge #ask #sergentculotte #captainship97 #rinatemme #a lullaby on canvas #aloc #:D #queue: the inbox cleanout of 2019!#anon

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emeraldfic · 6 years ago

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07:

Stormy:

Miami: Monday April 29, 2018 1:58 PM

Shit. I feel like complete shit and when I forced myself out of bed to shower, my reflection was showing me that I looked like shit too. My smeared make up and a neck full of hickies made me cringe.

Even after showering and brushing my teeth twice, I still felt gross and I couldn’t get the taste of vodka out of my mouth.

After freshening up the best I could I pulled on some sweats and went to get some water so I could down some Advil and catch this headache before it got the best of me. I was surprised to see Chris sitting at the breakfast bar. He was rubbing his temples like he was annoyed. After getting my glass of water I sat down next to him trying to quietly grab his attention without poking at his obvious aggravation.

“Hey.” He murmured forcing a smile

“Hi.” I smiled. “Are you okay?”

He slid his phone over to me and signaled with a nod towards the screen for me to see what was bothering him. I raised a brow seeing that his messages were pulled up, and sighed seeing they were from Mimi.

Mimi: REALLY CHRIS???? im w deja one night and ur out drinking w stormy the first chance u get?? not to mention u two were all over each other the whole time??? WTF!

To Mimi: ok? thought we were taking a break? wtf does it matter??

Mimi: BREAK? lmao ok. this is how u want to play it?? i just gave us space for a night to cool off ... but if u want a break that fine.

To Mimi: i do.

I handed back his phone and let out a sigh. I could feel warm tears sitting in the corners of my eyes. I feel so guilty. I’ve caused so much unnecessary drama since being here. I stood up and was about to make a run for my room but he stopped me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Chris... I can’t keep messing things up for you.”

“Messing things up? Stormy...” he chuckled “What are you messing up? I wanted this. Things were so rocky between her and I. We were due for some space.”

He pulled me in for a hug and I felt myself relaxing against him making me remember how tired I really was. I was hoping we could hide out on the couch and be lazy all day but when the buzzer went off I knew that wasn’t happening. He let whoever it was up and a few minutes later there was a knock on the door.

“Can I help you?”

“What’s up man, we’re from the furniture depot, we have a delivery for Chris.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. That’s me.”

“Check over the info here and sign at the bottom for me, man and we’ll start bringing everything up.”

I could not hide my excitement. I clapped and jumped up and down thinking about how amazing my hunnies bedroom was going to be. It made the thought of her coming home soon all the more real!

About an hour later they had everything all hauled up and in her room. Chris headed off to the store to get us some drinks and snacks and I got ready for a long night.

“Let’s do this baby.” He smiled

Hearing the way ‘baby’ flowed off of his tongue so easily made me smile but U wasn’t going to make a big deal about it so I cracked open my monster and took in a big gulp acting like I hadn’t even heard it.

It was after nine when we had finally assembled everything. The bedroom set was so much more beautiful than I had remembered from the store. I was in love, and part of me wanted to cry. My emmy finally has everything she’s ever deserved thanks to Chris and I can’t wait for her to come home so he can finally have the chance to be the daddy she’s needed. I’m nervous for myself though... I’m getting a second shot at being her mom and I just hope I live up to her expectations.

When everything was arranged perfectly I put her clothes away, made up her bed and vacuumed up the floor. It looked so great, but it was missing the little things.. and her.

“You did a great job in here.” Chris said popping his head in.

“Its all thanks to you.” I reminded. “She’s gonna love it!”

I grabbed the last of the trash from the room and turned off the light. Chris followed behind me and shut the door after us. I was so tired, but so happy that I had got it all done today. I plopped down on the couch and Chris followed suit letting out what seemed to be a satisfied sigh.

“Come here and gimme a kiss.” he asked lowly.

I happily crawled into his lap with a smile and did just as he’d asked, but of course it didn’t stop with just a kiss, before I knew it we were caught up in a full blown make out. I couldn’t help the moans that slipped through my lips as our tongues wrestled for dominance and his stiffness beneath me told me he didn’t mind.

He stood up with me in his lap mid kiss and started walking towards his room. I could feel the nervous butterflies start to flutter but I brushed it off.

“You staying in here tonight.” he said letting me fall back against the bed.

“Yeah, I could.” I nodded with a smile.

“Na, it wasn’t a question. I’m telling you that you’re staying in here tonight. I’m tired of you disappearing on me.”

“Disappearing? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Anytime you fall asleep in here you’re always gone when I wake up. Like you’re running scared or something.”

“I am not scared.” I sassed

“Well then quit running.”

He laid down next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. We laid there comfortably for a few minutes and I could feel my eyes getting heavier by the second.

“Chris...” I yawned

“Hmm?” he hummed

“I lied... I guess I am scared.”

“Of what baby?”

“Getting hurt.”

“I’ll never hurt you. I promise.”

I let those words linger around in my head and before I knew it, I was out.

Chris:

Two Weeks Later:

Miami: Monday May 14, 2018 2:40 PM

Things have felt so off and negative lately it’s enough to make your skin crawl. Stormy just walks around in this funk and it’s so hard to handle so I’ve been working my ass off at practice; going in on my days off, going in early and staying late- the whole nine... all of it just to avoid being home.

Last week in court we were denied to bring Emmy home and it wrecked Stormy... I’ve been avoiding it all to try and hide the fact that I’m hurting too but it’s no use. It broke our hears. We have another hearing in about a month but it feels so hopeless. Apparently in the eyes of the judge, we aren’t ready to have Emmy home. He’s asked us to sign up for a few parenting classes and have more meetings with her and our worker Stephanie so we can have a better understanding of it all.

“Good job boys” Coach called out. “Give me two laps and call it a day.”

After pushing myself so hard today I felt so tense and aggravated. I was so deep in my own thoughts nothing I felt like I’d never snap out of it. I pushed out the two laps and as I was headed to the ocker rooms coach called me over.

“What up, coach?” I huffed out of breath wiping the sweat from my forehead with my shirt

“I just wanted to check in on you, make sure everything’s alright. You’ve seemed a little off lately and I’m a little worried about you, especially with the hefty plate you have in front of you.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m alright, I’m good. I’m stressed, but I’ll be alright.” He raised a brow like he didn’t believe me. “Really coach. I’m fine. I think I just need to blow off some steam.”

“Alright. Well just take it easy. Are you ready for this weekend?”

“Yeah, I’m stoked. This event is always all over the news and I can’t believe I’m apart of it.”

“It’s so great, it’s a great time and you get paid for it. Win, win.” He chuckled with a shrug

“Yeah definitely. I’ll be ready coach. I promise.”

“Alright, get out of here.” He patter my shoulder and I was off to the showers. I couldn’t seem to get the water hot enough to satisfy my aggravated body enough to relax making me more irritated than I already was so I cut it short and packed up my bag and headed out. I was hungry, and knew I needed to eat something but with the way my stomach was feeling I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to hold it down so I just headed home hoping that I could crawl into bed and sleep the rest of the night away.

When I walked in, I tossed my gym bag down by the door and shuffled off for my bed. To my surprise, Stormy was snuggled up sound asleep. I wont lie it brought a small smile to my lips. I kicked off my shoes and snuggled up next to her.. The second I was in bed , she crawled on top of me and ran her hands up and down my chest as she started kissing on my neck. I closed my eyes enjoying her touch feeling myself finally starting to relax.

“Damn, baby.” I groaned lowly as she started sucking lightly

I rolled us over so I was on top and pinned her arms to the bed. I smiled down at her but my smile quickly faded when I saw that her eyes were puffy like she’d been crying. I raised a brow, asking what was wrong without really having to ask.

“I don’t feel well.”

“What’s the matter?” I asked falling down to the bed next to her

“I don’t know.” she sighed “I guess with all of this going on I’m stressed to the point where it’s making me sick to my stomach.”

“Don’t let it get to you, Storm. Emmy will be home with us before you know it. There’s nothing to make yourself sick over. We got this. And, Besides, I need you feeling better for this weekend.”

“What’s happening this weekend?”

“The big charity event. Buckets for bucks. Every year it’s a big thing and it’s basically just a bunch of people who sign up to play basketball all weekend for a a different charity every year. Some people are sponsored for each basket they make, and some just donate. Every year the NBA training camp is involved.”

“Oh. So you want me to participate?” she asked with an unsure chuckle

“No..Well, if you want to. I was just figured you’d be with me for support.”

“Well, of course. I’m more than happy to be there with you.”

“Good.” I yawned snuggling more into the bed and closed my eyes

“Chris...”

“Hmm” I murmured

“Can we go get some food? I’m hungry.”

“I promise if you let me take this nap right quick I’ll take you to go get some food in a little bit.”

“Fine.” she whined and kissed my forehead before disappearing into the living room

I was sleeping so good but my phone kept vibrating beneath me and I was starting to get aggravated so I sat up and finally answered after the third call

“Yeah? I huffed”

“Hi, Chris. This is Stephanie. I’m sorry to be a pest but I needed to get a hold of you before I left the office today and Stormy wasn’t answering her phone either. I’m leaving in the morning for a family emergency and I’ll be out of town for a little while so we’ll need to postpone your visit with Emerald.”

“Oh, alright.”

“I’m really sorry about all of this last minute. I’ll give you a call first thing when I’m back in the office.”

“Okay, I’ll let Stormy know. Thanks for the heads up,”

“Sure thing. We’ll talk soon. Bye now.”

I rubbed over my tired eyes and let out a loud yawn. As much as I wanted to just lay back down and sleep for the rest of the night I knew I had to get up.

“Hey sleepy head.” she called out with a smile as I walked into the living room.”

“Where’s you phone at?” I asked sitting down next to her.

“In my room charging, why?”

“Stephanie was calling.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, she’s just gonna be out of the office for a family emergency so we have to postpone our visit.”

“Oh, okay. As long as everything is okay with Em.”

We got comfortable on the couch and continued watching her show on Netflix. I wasn’t really into it, but I enjoyed being close with her. It was peaceful and had me feeling a lot more relaxed than I’d been all day... until my phone started buzzing with text after text

Mimi: hi... can we talk?

Mimi: i need to grab some things from the house...

Mimi: well... r u gonna be home this weekend? maybe we can talk over dinner?? lmk.

Mimi: i miss u chirs

Mimi: it’s so hard being a way from u... i hate it sm

I let out a hefty sigh and dropped my phone into my lap. I was not trying to kill my mood with all of this but it certainly didn’t stop me from getting a headache.

“What’s wrong baby?” Stormy cooed

“Nothin’“ I muttered with a shrug

“Liar. Your tense.”

“I just have a headache is all.”

“Let me make you feel better baby.” she purred crawling into my lap.

She tangled one hand in my growing curls and kissed me slowly teasing me with her tongue. She pulled away from the kiss slowly with my bottom lip tucked between her teeth. She gave it a little tug and let it plop back into place. She peered down at me with a cheeky grin before tucking her face into my neck making me groan lowly as she hit all the right spots. I could feel my tension melting away little by little.

“Let’s take this to my room baby.”

She ignored me and continued to take charge. I hissed lowly as she reached into my pants and exposed me. My head hung back as she continuously stroked at a steady pace. I was so close to finishing when there was a pound at the door.

“Fuck it. Don’t stop.” I pleaded

“Chris! Open up!” Mimi shouted from the other side of the door.

Stormy sucked her teeth and got up from my lap. I rolled my eyes watching her storm off the room with an attitude.

“Chris! Hello? I know you’re in there.” Mimi barked with another pound to the door.

I pulled my pants up and stomped over to the door. I snatched it open as hard as I could and gave her a glare.

“What?” I snapped furrowing my brows at her

“I told you I needed to come by and get some things.” she said as her eyes looked me over she stopped at my neck and sighed “I’m sorry I didn’t know you had company over.”

“I don’t” I snapped “Just hurry and get whatever you need.”

“I can’t stay?” shed asked chewing on her bottom lip

“Look, Mimi. I’m not trying to be a fucking prick right now but I was really in the middle of something and here you come pounding at the door like the fucking police, and that’s pretty fucking irritating. And, I’m definitely not in the mood for this conversation with you right now.”

She walked in after me and went straight for what used to be our room and I went in the other direction to Stormy’s room.

“She’s just getting a few things ans she’s leaving.”

About an hour later after we’d finished out last round in the shower we were comfy in sweats and ready to go finish watching TV but to both of our surprise, there Mimi sat on the couch with a death glare pointed our way.

“Really Chris?” she snapped folding her arms over her chest. “Her? Really? This whole time it’s been her? I couldn’t believe you’d cheat on me, but with her of all people?”

“Why are you still here?” I spat “What did you stand by the door and listen to us? I wanted space Mimi, get the fuck over it.”

“Screw you Chris. I can’t believe you did this to me.” She sobbed

I heard Stormy slam her door behind me and I knew she was irritated with me but, I’ll have to sort that out later... Seeing Mimi crying was bothering me and I knew I had to sweet talk her up to get her out of here.

“Mimi, we’re separated... I’m sorry you walked in on all that, and I’m not sure why you waited around, but I’m sorry for whatever you heard too.”

“I just have nowhere to go, Chris. Thus was my home, remember? And we’re apart so I have nothing now” she cried “What am I supposed to do now?”

“I don’t know, Mimi.... Can you ask Dej to stay there for a while longer? I have a big charity event this weekend and I’ll be out of town so maybe we can talk when I get home? I wasn’t trying to intentionally hurt you tonight, but you can’t get upset with me for fucking around. I am single right now and I do have needs.”

“But why her?” she whined with a frown

“I can’t help that I got attracted to her, Mimi. We spent a lot of time together... something you and I didn’t do. Just give me a few days, okay. I need a clear head for this weekend.”

“Okay.” She sighed

She picked up the two bags she had packed and walked out the door without saying another word. When the door closed behind her I finally let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“Is she gone?” Stormy asked poking around the corner

“Yeah. I’m sorry baby. She’s just hurting.”

“I know, I understand.”

“That’s why you’re so amazing.”

“I’m hungry, and you did promise to take this amazing girl out for food after your nap.”

“Yeah, I did, huh?”

“Yes, so let’s go before I starve to death.”

As she walked away from m I couldn’t help but to stare at her ass and hips. She was getting thick and I loved it.

“Al this fucking we been doing has you looking hella thick baby.” I muttered biting on my bottom lip “God damn...”

“Quit starring at me and get your ass ready.” she giggled.

Thirty minutes later we had agreed on a bomb ass bar and grill joint waiting on our order. I enjoyed the dight of her sitting across from me happily sipping on her soda.

“Look baby, they’re hiring!”

“Yeah, I see that.”

“Well maybe I should apply? It would be nice to make my own money for a change.”

“Hell no! I’ll be damned if you’re up here waiting on these pervs. What do you need to work for anyways?”

“Because, baby. I mean having my own money really is necessary. I can’t mooch off of you forever.”

“But I want to take care of you.” I admitted reaching across the table for her hand “Especially when Em comes home, don’t you want to be a stay at home mom?”

“Not so much...” she sighed

I knew I wasn’t winning this one so I didn’t budge when she rushed off to find the manager. She came back about five minutes as just as our burgers were arriving at the table. She sat down with a huge grin and wiggled her eyebrows at me.

“Guess who has an interview first thing tomorrow morning!”

I wasn’t thrilled but I couldn’t help the growing smile on my face. I knew she was going to do great. After we finished our food we moved over to the bar and ordered up a few shots

“Come on light weight.” I teased “You literally only finished one. I got like six down over here.”

“It’s not sitting well, I feel sick to my stomach.”

I chugged down a tall glass of water to weaken up the shots and we headed out. As soon as we were home, Stormy was running for the bathroom. I could hear her dinner coming back up on her and it made me feel bad for suggesting we take those shots.

Once she was finally well enough to get up, I helped her up to bed and she was fast asleep.I said a quick prayer hoping she was well for this weekend and was off to sleep myself.

#chris brown #chris brown fanfic

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jeonginsdimple · 6 years ago

Text

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*soft bias tag*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

okay so i was tagged for this about five times i swear but they’re so deep in my notifs that i Can’t remember who tagged me and im too lazy to look but whoever u are i love u with all of my heart thank u it’s like this tag was made 4 me i am such a soft stan

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 1. Who is your bias?

g o d not this question. i’ll do jeongin bc he probably owns the most uwus of mine

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 2. What made you notice them?

hm.... honestly his b o y s sweater in hellevator was the first thing i saw HJDSHJS i was like “wow.......... that’s...... kinda gay also he’s really cute” but if i’m being completely honest he got such little screen time + lines i couldn’t tell whether he was a part of the group. later on when i looked up their profiles and i saw him i screeched he rly stole my heart very very early on. before i watched the show i kept thinking abt how excited i was to see more of him on screen PFF

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 3. What’s your favorite thing about them?

okay uhhhh u must be the Biggest Bool around if you think im going to name one thing anyway here’s my eight page essay--

fr ok i was going to list some things but i started writing about the first one and it’s too much i’m just going to keep that LMAO

his deep heart is something i think about a lot. i have to admit that i didn’t start watching the show until around when the fifth episode? came out. beforehand i had seen a clip from the fourth episode where jeongin had been practicing for school life, and he started admitting all of his struggles n insecurities n everything (the clip is called ‘jeongin is tired’ or something to that effect on youtube). anyway that was the first thing about stray kids i ever cried about! i sobbed so hard watching that y’all i felt like the Largest Clown around crying alone in my room sobbing over some boy that doesn’t know me PFF. watching him work so hard and worry so much about everything made my heart ache so bad hdsfsjkfdsjk especially since about .2 seconds before watching that clip i had seen a few people hating on him on twitter (which is why stan twt is inferior! too much hate tbh). i think it was at that moment, even if i wasn’t fully aware at the time since i hadn’t seen enough of them, that i really fell in love with jeongin anyway this is getting Too Soft god i’m moving on

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 4. Who would initiate skinship more?

ME HAHA WHAT KIND OF QUESTION-- have y’all seen that boy he’s like a metal rod when it comes to skinship. there’s this one video where minho’s doing a little pat pat 2 jeongin u kno nd he was STIFF AS HELL it was so funny. i’m so annoying and touchy i’d be attached to that boy deadass like some kind of leech he couldn’t get rid of me if he tried. trying 2 sleep? too bad Big Fool! suddenly i am Your Pillow

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 5. Who would hog blankets more?

hm............ well usually i’d say me because i get cold way too fast, but tbh if it was in a situation where i was laying w jeongin??? i’d let myself contract hypothermia and die he can have it

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 6. Who would be more clingy?

i kind of covered this already but 100% me y’all i’m so loud when it comes to being clingy. i’d be around him all the damb time if i had the chance fr

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 7. Who would say ‘I love you’ first?

also me i say i love you way too much. like on a more serious (kind of) note i sometimes worry that i say it to the point where it loses its meaning. i feel like that i should sometimes find other things to say because if there comes a time where someone really needs to hear “i love you” and they can’t believe me because of all of the casual times i’ve said it i’ll probably hate myself lmao. but that’s not important anyway in this situation i’d probably tell this loser i love him every time he came into my line of sight

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 8. Who would be more easily flustered?

honestly ion know prob both? idk i’m such a loser and i get embarrassed so easy but @ the same time jeongin seems like he sucks at receiving attention without dying. so probably both depending on the situation

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 9. What cuddling position would you two have?

i am Embarrassed writing this but whatever i’ll just go 4 it. so i really love cuddling. like a Lot. also i have to take into account that i am Large and about two inches taller than jeongin. anyway i’d almost always prob be the Big Boy when cuddling. like i’d be wrapped around him in any way i could be. literally every position would be the one.......... if i wanted to give an example tho y’all know the vliev photoshoot that skz had........... the position that hyunjin n woojin were in? i’m hyunjin and jeongin is woojin that’s just how it is

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 10. Which colours remind you of them and why?

black bc he’s edgy uwu (no he’s not but for some reason black usually comes to mind......... it’s my favorite color tho so uhhh correlation) also pastel pink bc he’s so sweet and it’s like The soft color and i am Soft for him

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 12. Which season would you like to spend with them?

winter bc 1: his birthday uwu i’d spoil the fuck out of that boy with my 7 dollars and 2: so many kinship opportunities bc of the cold i’d live 4 it. plus there could b like........ hot chocolate and stuff wowow

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 13. Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

hm........... i like baking....... so i’d prolly bake n jeongin would snatch the batter and i would absolutely Not be angry that boy owns my heart and he can own that batter too

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 14. Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

ok i’d make so many bad puns every chance i got. fr give him incentive to smarten up and get the fuck away from my annoying ass

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 15. Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

hhhhhh probably me. like i can’t recall any specific time that jeongin’s even talked abt animals. even tho i’m wildly allergic 2 both (but i have two of each rn i’m not weak y’all can fight me) i’d force him to get AT LEAST one dog with me

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 16. Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen try to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

okay i would definitely be the one burning shit down i have literally burnt mac n cheese. i may b able to bake but once it comes to anything that involves an appliance that isn’t an oven i’m screwed

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 17. Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

that boy would lean over a railing on like the twentieth floor deadass “owo whats this” and i’d barrel across the room breaking the sound barrier in the process to save that boy i’m way too nervous all the time

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 18. What would watching a horror film with them be like?

ok well i for one enjoy a good Spook. if it’s like..... real scary tho i’m a little bitch lol. anyway i’d be holding that boy to me like he was on the verge of death the whole time. if he ever jumped i’d probably hold him tight enough to the point where he couldn’t breathe it rly be like that

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 19. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

i’d be cheesy 100% i’m so greasy. idk if jeongin would be smooth but considering he likes to introduce himself by saying he falls into our hearts and i introduce myself by messing up my first name i’ll take a chance and say he’s smoother

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 20. Who is more competitve?

him i’m literally so lame i’m not competitive at all. i’d let that boy win in a heartbeat if it made him happy (unless we were playing some like video game shit i get immersed in that)

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 21. Who would have to be given constant reminders? (Remember to eat, don’t forget to your keys, etc)

me all the way i am the most forgetful person on earth. i could be leaving the house n boy’s like “hey loser don’t forget ur fuckin pants”

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 22. Who sends memes and who sends cute ‘I miss you’ texts at 3am?

i send both and he purposely leaves me on read until i apologize

Tagging: anyone fr i don’t know who’s done it already except @dinonugggies u have to

#i put this off for way too long lmao #i love jeongin so much holy shit #soft bias tag

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