#okay I made myself cry again

[locamotivednp]

Thank you all 🍉

I got all sappy about this last time, but I’m gonna do it again. If you didn’t know, I am Arab American and grew up very passionate about Palestine. It very much felt for a long time that no one else cared.

It truly truly means so much to see so many people, and this community in particular, became so passionate about Palestine. It was something I never thought would happen. I never thought the western world would educate themselves. I never thought they would care.

It is a really really hard time to be an arab American. It is so hard to check the news everyday to see another atrocities. But for the first time in my life, I don’t feel alone in it. Hope is so so important.

I see you all advocating and raising money and it means so much 🇱🇧🫶🇵🇸

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

“hold on to your heart” // do me a favour live at forest hills stadium new york 08/09/23 ♡

[dazais-guardian-angel]

With today's entry, I was rather surprised and confused that Johnathan seemed to turn around so quickly from the absolute pit of despair he was in yesterday, having newfound determination and energy when he's seemingly been completely hopeless and inactive for weeks now (and for good reason). Not that I ever thought he'd completely given up, but there's definitely been a slow decline in how descriptive his journal entries have been to reflect his declining mental state (more robotic, less of his actual feelings about things), and today was a sharp contrast; it feels more like the early entries again. I thought, well, his mind is probably just so cracked at this point that he's looped all the way back around to being bold and energetic again, because by now he's desperate enough to throw caution to the wind: he either succeeds doing something extremely reckless to escape, or he fails and meets his end in a far better way than if he just waits for his fate by Dracula's hands.

...But having thought about it and reading other posts, I realized (probably stupidly obvious as it is) that his sudden change in mood probably has to do with what happened to the baby. Despite how scared he's been all this time, yesterday he didn't hesitate for a single second to try to save the baby once he realized from the previous incident what was happening, not thinking about his own life at all. And then he despaired when he couldn't save the child, the first time he's mentioned crying in the book at all, and then he had to witness the mother blaming him for her baby's death, and being killed herself for trying to rescue it. Now, the day after that horrific and heartbreaking failure, he's suddenly more determined than he's been in ages to escape. Maybe that was a turning point for Johnathan, and lit a fire under him... maybe he's clinging to the need to escape not just for himself and the people he loves anymore, but for the vain hope that he can put a stop to Dracula's schemes somehow once he gets out, because he doesn't want to let any more children die :' )

[smallest-moon]

i know this is supposed to be more of a haha moment and im reading way too much into this but i think those words really struck a cord in vash. his tears are real and he ain't crying just about "the two gals" either

[broodygaming]

Man oh man, it confuses me, very genuinely that ppl dont think that Beau and Yasha were a good end pairing. That they don’t see it. Idk. I catches me off guard every time I read it because, to me I suppose, they go together like... Chocolate ganache. You heat the milk, pour in the chocolate and stir and stir.... and you’re staring at it and there’s awkward chocolate chunks and it’s just milk with chocolate, oh my god I’ve messed it up, it’s sticking to the bottom omfg ive wasted ALL this milk holy shit I’m an idiot and - Bam. Suddenly. One last little stir and it magically transforms before your eyes into smooth rich brown chocolate ganache.  

Idk. For me. They are this fascinating twirling of strong forces that at some point just meld together to make this beautiful thing neither of them could have ever even visualized. The dichotomy of two violent women who have been battered by the world. Told over and over how Destructive they are. Who have destroyed each other in all these crazy situations? Who have been lauded as machines of war and bastions of retribution or cast out as “too much to deal with”..... These two women who have been taught over and over again that EVERY single fucking hand that touches.... strikes.... So strike back and first before they get the fucking chance.... 

Gods be damned do they deserve gentleness. 

And not to say there’s not many places you can find that. But the idea of standing there, holding your broken parts and looking around to find someone to help you... Not fix you, just help you hold them all... And the peace someone might feel handing them to someone whose hands have known pain. Someone whose hands are scarred and battered and tough. Someone who won’t be shocked to see so many broken parts. Someone who is carrying their own armful and a few more of yours won’t be a huge burden. Someone who fucking gets it. You know? I just think of Beau sliding into that hot bath and thinking of the kind words. Not even just kind words, but the acknowledgment and the sincerity. 

The... “I see you. I see you. And I’m not looking away. I will carry these pieces with you, if you might also carry some of mine”. 

[pastelpousay]

This is sort of another rant I think my friends hate me 💀 and this Hadina ship is lowk ruining my life but it’s like the only thing bringing me joy 💀

This is literally me being upset about something stupid that happened earlier 💀I love my friends but sometimes I’m so sick of them. Like okay story time 😽

So a while ago I went over to my friends house and we started talking about my self ship for whatever reason 💀😭 for background my friend is pagan and he believes in Greek mythology and I literally exspressed to him a moment before this that I had been feeling bad about talking about it so much since Hercules isn’t myth accurate but like girl 💀 ain’t no one care I’m sorry it’s a Disney cartoon bruh😭 get over it. and HE LITERALLY SAID HE DIDNT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT LIKE BRO SO TELL MY WHY NOT EVEN A MINUTE LATER HES ASKING ME ABOUT WHERE PERSEPHONE IS IN THE LORE OF MY HADINA STORY 💀I love pershades Like Persephone x Hades for life!!! I don’t have a problem with other hades ships at all like I love seeing it 💗. But Like I already feel guilty for liking the movie and about not being able to add Seph to my story but like I’m sorry 😭 this isn’t about her😭😭like wym girly ain’t here-

AND LITERALLY YESTERDAY THIS MF 💀 I LITERALLY POSTED A PICTURE OF MY ART IN OUT DISC SERVER OF RINA ANGST AND LITERALLY HE DIDNT EVEN THINK TO COMPLIMENT MY WORK FIRST AND IMMEDIATELY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT PERSEPHONE 😭 I HATE LIARS NIGGA YOU KEEP SAYING YOU LIKE MY STORY AND MY OCS BUT NO YOU DONT WHY ARE TOU A LIAR. Like I get it’s your religion but let me have my fun and I’ve been talking about this with my bestie and she literally said he needs to get over it it’s literally a disney cartoon 💀😭😭 I CANNOT ITS KILLING ME BRUH LEAV ME ALONE LIKE I GET HE DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING BAD BY IT BUT STILL LIKE IT HIRT MY FEELINGS CUZ WHY DID YOU LIE 😭😭😭😭 LIKE GIRL IM NOT GONNA KILL YOU TF-

okay that’s it I’m done I just had to share this even tho I’ve been talking about it for literal hours but it still pissed me tf off💀😭 btw sorry if this comes off as insensitive I mean every word of what I meant about the I don’t care if you ship hades with others, the ships are cute I love em!! 💗 but can this mf at the bare minimum accept my happiness like girl you want me to kms?? 💀

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy

[mymelodyisme]

3, 7 and 14 for the asks!! 😍

😭 I should have asked you more myself!! But I saw handwriting and went “I MUST have her write some of her FIC-“

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

So 🤔 this is kinda tricky cause we hardly rewatch films in my house cause 🙄 my mom and dad only like watching things once usually. But but but I DO share in common with my mom that I love rewatching:

Encanto

Tangled

Turning Red

I’ve certainly annoying my sisters recently with Turning Red 🤣 it’s really good background noise and fu bro watch. Encanto cause it’s good!!! But also I’m latina and also feel not special like Mirabel 😭 my sister first time we watched the movie said Luisa reminded her of me tho thanks for clocking the older sister energy I guess. And tangled because Rapunzel my favorite Disney princess ever 🥺

7. what scares you the most and why?

Oof here’s where we get ✨depressing✨

First do we mean spine tingling or deep rooted fear that stabs at your heart till it aches and pours out? Cause I could easily say something concrete like cockroaches (they make me cry and shake so quick) but if we’re talking in ouchie heart ache type of scares it’s becoming unwanted and an inconvenience 😭 I’ve felt like that a few times in my life and heck I’ve been feeling it especially hard lately. Just gotta take a deep sigh and keep going cause I’m gonna like me enough to want me to stay! Ya know! Also I’m scared of being in absolute darkness and I’m scared to be out at night :)

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

😭 kinda related back to the other question Owie, this one seems kind of ridiculous but it’s the simplest and most heart breaking for me. All of my wants have this same thing in common but this one is the most recent so ridiculous or not here you are.

Going for a walk.

I’m, frankly, scared of the unwanted attention that comes with being a fat person in public 😭 I mean realistically I know no one’s actually looking at me but I can’t help but feel they are. In PE I was always last to finish and the kids who were done early would cheer me on and they meant well but it always made me cry. For a bit I got a little braver about walking on the treadmill at the university but I’m out now and we don’t have one at home. I’ve been wanting to go walking to better myself because 🥺 I could be better but I’m really scared of going to the park. It’s on the other side of town, it’s bigger with more shade, but it’s next to our high school and there’s a bunch of houses and there’s no good time for me to talk out of my day to do this and I’d go for a walk but we don’t have sidewalks where I live and I don’t want to walk in the road and block someone from their driveway. It’s all excuses I guess but all in all I’m afraid of existing in other people’s spaces.

But but to end on something positive!!! 🤔 um I’m really proud of the way I’ve conquered my fear of driving. I’m still afraid of that and going long distances to places I don’t know but now I feel that I just gotta go it and I’ll get used to it. It helps that my car is cute and I have stuffed animals 😄 I actually don’t hate driving as much anymore I like going around town with the windows down letting the air mess up my hair.

♥️Questions♥️ (yall should go ask Libby too 🩷)

[swordbreakerz]

How do I convince people to read the archive undying. I will start recording myself reading it aloud and just posting that online if I have to jesus christ PLEASE READ THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

[that-was-anticlimactic]

there’s something so sacred about sharing what you love with others: whether it be a song or food or clothes, a show or a movie or pictures. it's just... such a deep and personal thing, you know? having someone carve out a little part of their heart and gift it to you with an abundance of joy and excitement and passion... yeah.

[copiawife]

every day has been so hard lately but it's okay. i'm doing my best

[seariii]

On a much brighter note... No filter/sleep deprived Seari shouldn't be allowed a phone

[ivycats31]

ugh

[the-kipsabian]

.