#ok. but also ty so much for the exam thing i did really well on my last one a 96%!!! so im so glad that u remembered and care <3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

whispersofbees · 3 years ago

Note

hey el! how are you? hopefully ur doing alr with school and such but anyways i had this idea of levi from obey me and a reader who was a kpop idol or something similar and how their relationship would play out 👀 idk i just think it's neat thought you would like it :)

hey anon! ty for the request! this was a lot of fun actually it was super cute to think about and write ^^ i did headcanons if that's ok! and i'm doing fine, studying for my ap exams and trying to catch up on work :) hopefully your day is going well and i hope you like the hcs <3

part ii. part iii. part iv. masterlist

leviathan x idol!reader headcanons

ok here we go !!!

you, y/n, also known as vega to your adoring fans, had just been enrolled in R.A.D.

who's vega, you might ask?

you're part of an idol group called galaxea and are the group's main vocalist and lead dancer (and resident moodmaker)

you and your members all have astrology related names and you chose yours, vega, after one of the brightest stars in the sky <3

your group is fairly popular amongst the 3 realms bc you guys are so super duper talented and very well rounded !!! there's nothing you guys can't do and you're always open to experimentation and trying new things which is part of the reason why your group is as popular as it is — you guys always come back better than before

anyways, bc galaxea is an extremely popular idol group amongst the 3 realms, your managers have special makeup designed for every member in your group

spoiler alert: it's magic

a charm was placed on them so that when you weren't wearing the personalized enchanted makeup, nobody would be able to recognize you as a celebrity

it's almost as if you exist as two separate people

tl;dr: nobody knows your actual identity

this is important both for keeping up appearances and to protect you guys' privacy :)

anyways !!! now that we have some backstory, let's continue

it's been a bit of time since you arrived in the devildom and you're steadily growing closer to the boys

they were all apprehensive about your arrival at the house of lamentation but all you had to do was like talk with and smile at them one (1) time and that was it they were pretty much whipped

except for one avatar of envy

this man istg

he probably hasn't had an actual genuine convo with anyone in awhile we all know this

so he's pretty awkward which is a given

he wouldn't admit it but he's actually really curious about you and your background but at the same time he doesn't want to come off as creepy or like a weird pathetic otaku with no social life who totally doesn't know how to talk to people normally

anyways!

he gives you space and just leaves you be for the most part

you two haven't really interacted, whenever you ended up passing each other in the hallways levi was glued to his phone or had his headphones on

to be completely honest, you felt a little nervous to talk to him since you've heard from his brothers that he can be very intense about his hobbies and interests but they won't actually say what they are, probably to let you find out yourself or to embarrass him later on

that, and you think he hates you. like a lot. he refuses to interact with you but in reality this boy is just super nervous :(

sometimes when you're just chilling wherever and drawing in your sketchbook he'll walk past and take a split second to peek and one time he swore he saw you drawing what looked like an idol that he recognized, but he speed walked too fast to tell who it was and now he doesn't wanna walk back because that would be really stupid and obvious and you'd totally find him gross and—

when levi snapped back to reality he was back in his room, probably having subconsciously walked there

he internally groaned, scolding himself for being a coward

he seriously did want to talk to you !!! he just didn't know how :(

he was so nervous over what you might think about his interests (esp bc of how much he got made fun of for them) and he figured you'd enjoy spending time with his brothers better anyways

you were also facing the same dilemma ☠

levi was the only avatar you hadn't properly interacted with (besides belphie, but you didn't even know he existed yet </3). you were pretty close with the others at this point given how it's been a few weeks since you began your stay in the devildom and every time you tried talking to the purple haired boy he ignored you !!! and you didn't know if this was intentional or not or if he really was just that zoned out lmao

one day, however, you guys were finally forced to talk 😌

asmo had ordered a haul of skincare products off of akuzon at the same time levi placed a new manga order, so the avatar of lust asked you if you could go get it for him because it was pretty likely levi just picked up all the packages without reading the labels

"alright, but are you sure? he doesn't… hate me or anything, right?"

"WHAT? are you kidding me?" asmo practically screeched

he could literally see how obvious it was that levi wanted to talk to you but he was just being a stubborn little shit about it and it was physically killing asmo to watch it happen

"no no no. he's just nervous! that's how he normally is. he doesn't take to new people very well since he's pretty reserved, but i'm sure he'd love you once you guys actually had a convo! and if he doesn't, then at least i don't have to share you even more than i already do <3"

a small giggle escaped your lips before you thanked him and went off to go meet your doom

you tried to stay calm but really didn't know what to expect and just hoped for the best

you reached his door and took a breath before gently knocking on it

a few moments passed before you heard any semblance of sound.

"what's the password?"

you blinked in shock. you didn't expect there to be a password, and knowing how practically everyone was banned from levi's room, you figured that it would be useless to ask anyone else for help

so !!! you decided to ignore his statement <3

"um, levi? it's me. asmo asked me to go pick up something from you? i think you took one of his akuzon packages by accident"

levi started internally screaming

he literally almost dropped the controller he was holding

you were here ?! at his room ?!?!? NOW ?!?!?!?

how could he have been so stupid ???

he goes through an error 404 moment rq before rushing to pick up some things off of his floor bc jfc his room was a mess and he did not want you to see that

he grabbed the box he had set down by one of his shelves and stared at it

in all honesty, he had noticed it was addressed to asmodeus a little after he had unboxed his manga, but he really wanted to start reading it asap and felt too embarrassed to go and give the package back almost immediately after he entered his room 😭

he sighed and opened the door wide enough to slip the box through

he heard a quiet "thank you" from the other side before a tiny gasp sounded and his internal alarm started going haywire

he tried to close the door as quickly as possible but then he heard you say "is that an aquarium?"

he froze.

now what?

if he shut the door on you he'd be a jerk and you wouldn't ever talk to him again. on the other hand, he didn't know if you were,,, cultured,,, or not. he assumed you were a normie, but maybe, just maybe, he was wrong?

he sighed and opened the door a little wider for you to clearly see behind him

"yeah, it is. what about it?"

and the moment he saw your eyes light up in awe his heart stopped

later at night he'd shake it off, thinking he was just actually going insane, but he swore in that moment he felt his heart flutter (to his dismay and vast disapproval)

he didn't know what it was exactly but he felt something and that was bad enough as is in his opinion

and when you excitedly asked "is that a demon slayer poster?" as you noticed it hanging on one of his walls, he practically pulled you inside his room

"you — you know what it is?"

"oh, um… yeah! i loved the manga, it was amazing! who's your favourite character? mine are giyuu and nezuko (or whoever you prefer :)"

you could practically feel the excitement radiating off of him and your spirits started to lift

levi let you look around a little and while he didn't want to come off as too enthusiastic, internally he felt so, so happy that someone else shared his interests. now he just had to see how far he could stretch it

you made small comments and squealed excitedly when you recognized certain posters and figurines and asked questions about the ones you didn't know, to which levi would happily provide answers

you teased him a little for all the ruri-chan merch he owned, and the boy just scoffed in response, suddenly a little self conscious about them

and when you gushed about how pretty his room is and said "you're so lucky to be in here all the time!" he knew. that was it. he's done for.

him? lucky? he had never thought that about himself, ever.

and when you turned to look at him, he felt his face flush and he stuttered slightly from embarrassment as a response

he could only hope that the ambience in his room concealed some of the bright pink dusting his skin

you on the other hand?

the light from his aquarium made you glow like a million little stars, and your smile looked like the sun itself had manifested into a single human being

why you, of all people?

this was so stupid. he couldn't believe this was happening.

no wonder his brothers were so soft on you already

but then something caught your attention

there was a poster above his bed that had been hidden by the shadows so it was hard to notice unless you really stared at it for a few seconds after letting your eyes adjust

you decided to walk closer to it and felt your mind go blank.

that was you. as vega. on the poster. with your members.

and when you looked closer, there were aesthetic polaroids, photo cards, and notes with your song lyrics from your different albums surrounding it, like a collage.

while levi's anime merch was an organized chaos and cluttered his room, covering almost every available space, this was neat and meticulously placed.

you turned to him, surprised to see him wide eyed

however, all you got in response were nervous, incomprehensible stammers again

levi sighed before arranging his thoughts into actual words. "l-look, it's a little embarrassing, a guy stanning an idol group like this, but i can't help it! galaxea's music is so good, and the meanings of their songs are really poetic, and their performances are amazing, and their personalities are so genuine and fun, and they're only one of the biggest bands in all of the realms right now! can you blame me?"

hearing him say that made you want to start sobbing (ik i would 😭). he really thought that highly of your group?

unsaid words lingered on the tip of your tongue. part of you wanted to see what would happen if you had told him that you were there on the poster, but you had a contract to honor and an identity to protect

besides, now that you were finally befriending levi, would he then only want to get closer to you because you were an idol he practically worshipped?

the odds were slim, but you had witnessed it too many times to take any chances

besides, messing with him and letting him figure it out himself would be a lot more entertaining 😌

it had been a few moments now, and levi was growing increasingly more embarrassed over his mini tangent. why did he say that? jfc levi way to go y/n definitely thinks you're weird now—

"you listen to them, too?"

and that was it, he might as well have fallen right there /j

/hj

not only were you actually into anime almost just as much as he was (and let's be honest, nobody will ever top his level of otakuness), but you had the same taste in music, too ???

he might as well be dreaming

needless to say, you guys ended up chilling a bit longer and talking about everything and anything you liked until you received a frantic text message from asmo asking about his precious skincare supplies 😭

you jumped up and quickly grabbed the box before apologizing, slightly embarrassed. rushing to get out the door to avoid even more of asmo's wrath, you added a hurried "sorry, i completely forgot about this! i hope asmo won't be mad… well, it was nice getting to talk to you for real! you're pretty cool, you know that? sorry again for this taking so long, i know you were probably busy! if you were playing something, let me know how it goes! anyways, i'll see you later :)"

and with a tiny wave and a small smile, you were gone

levi sat there on the floor, astounded

did that really just happen?

what the fuck

as soon as he knew you were out of earshot he started excitedly shouting and pumping his fist in the air. he actually talked to you !!! and you thought he was cool ??? him, of all people ??? oh my god what was he doing oh no what is this warm and fuzzy feeling make it go away

as for you, well, you expected to get scolded for taking an hour and a half, but you didn't expect asmo to tease you this badly

"huh, y/n. your cheeks sure are flushed! what type of blush do you use? wait, don't tell me…"

"asmo, wait—"

"oh my god what happened what did he do tell me everything"

"i-"

"you were gone for quite a long time, did he really talk that much~? or, judging by your reaction, did you do something el--"

"asmo."

"ok, ok, i get it,,, but i do need to know the details and please tell me you got a picture or video or something i desperately need new blackmail material"

"what?"

"what? i didn't say anything."

asmo never let levi live that down afterwards, yelling "simp" at him whenever they passed each other

where's the lie though 😭

on a different note, that night levi couldn't sleep.

sure, he deals with pretty rough insomnia (which is why he stays up all the time playing games and watching anime — it keeps him occupied and helps pass the time) but he literally was about to scream

his head was pounding. his thoughts were loud and chaotic, and he needed something to quiet it down before he officially lost his mind.

he instinctively looked up at the collage above him before connecting his headphones and shuffling the galaxea playlist he had made specifically for nights like these.

he felt embarrassed, but he kept replaying his interaction with you over and over and over again in his head, analyzing and committing the tiniest details to memory.

the way your hair fell, how you smiled, the sound of your laugh and the light, clear sound of your voice. your presence alone was comforting, and he hoped some of those feelings of safeness and security would stay a little longer just so that he could sleep. but something was… off.

he had never met you before, he was 1000% sure of it.

so then why did you seem so familiar?

talking to you was so much easier than he thought it would be. it felt natural. he was surprisingly relaxed just hanging out with you — any anxiety had almost completely disappeared in your presence.

you felt like sunlight, and even if he hadn't felt the warm rays on his skin in,,, a very long time, there was no other way to describe this feeling.

and he only got that fluffy, warm feeling when he was watching his comfort characters on screen and listening to idol groups he liked, specifically the one he was listening to right now

and as vega's crystalline voice rang out and sang "let's get lost at sea in these cold waves of the universe, as long as we're together, anywhere is home with you," he smiled, thinking that maybe a friend really is what he had been wanting all along. and as he was finally dozing off, he found himself eager for the next day to arrive — something he hadn't felt for as long as he could remember <3

#obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me levi hc #obey me levi headcanons #levi headcanons #leviathan headcanons #levi x reader #leviathan x reader #obey me levi x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #levi x idol!reader #leviathan x idol!reader #obey me levi x idol!reader #obey me leviathan x idol!reader #obey me #obey me fluff #obey me x reader #obey me headcanons #bee.writes

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darkcitiesnluv · 3 years ago

Note

hi babe if ure taking any requests, can i request roommates reader and taehyun studying tgt but ended up making out in the couch? ty!!!!

Hoped you like it! I really try my best to write(type) this nicely! @kkyubear

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" Taehyun and Y/n, y'all working together for this project, also class, don't forget to study this week for our exam on Friday...." The flashback appeared back again for the fifth time today.

" Why did Mr.Kim, chose him as my partner....?" You mumbled to yourself as you took a sip from your strawberry boba drink. You're sitting at the boba drink restaurant by yourself, next to the window. You watch people pass by while thinking about the project, the exam, and.....that boy named Taehyun.

Why did it bother you so much about Taehyun being your partner for the project? Well.....Kang Taehyun is your roommate. He is a new student in the college you go to.....well for you he's new because you know half of the people on the campus and you have never seen him before until this year.

You remembered how surprised you felt when you saw the new super attractive silver strikes hair guy in your room, sitting at the dark blue sheet of his bed, reading a science book on his lap, a guitar laying next to him, his arms behind his head, showing his strong biceps that you couldn't take your eyes away from.

You remembered how his natural beautiful big eyes suddenly looked at your side making your heart jump a little. He gave you a smile that lasted 3 seconds before turning back to his book. You remembered how you felt that moment. You felt a little nervous and you felt the feeling of butterflies flying around your stomach almost making it ache.

Taehyun was a quiet guy. When he was out, he would always try to come to the tiny apartment early before eight of the night so he wouldn't have to wake you up in the middle of the night with his noises.

Both of you would just do their things and would have small talks like the good morning greetings, the goodnight byes, stuff about school and that's it.

In the middle of the year, you two started to become a little more comfortable with each other. You remembered the first night you felt in a great mood and felt confident to ask him if wanted to study with you. Taehyun nodded kindly with his bright smile and agreed. Both of you would study on the couch, books on the table that stand in the middle of the tiny living room, and snacks around the books and papers.

It became a habit to study together like this whenever you two were having a test. Soon you two became friends and you no longer felt shy talking to him. However you still have feelings for him, for your crush, but you always made sure not to make it obvious. At first, you founded wrong to like your friend but you thought it as

" it's just a crush, it'll last for a while, maybe when you two become close friends you will no longer see him as a crush".

You were wrong!

Kang is too damn attractive and looks attractive in anything he wears and in anything he does. His personality is just.... amazing! He is funny, has sarcastic humor, a little savage, he is smart and speaks beautifully. No wonder why you too are studying communications together. Kang Taehyun is just perfect for you. You couldn't help it to feel so attracted to these men.

After you're done going through your entrance of memories and thoughts you got a message from Taehyun.

TerryK🔥

Hey!! Y/nieee~ come home to study! Where are you? 😅

You smile at the way he spelled your name cutely. You forgot to mention his cuteness is just something else.

Ok! I'll be there in a few minutes :)!

°°°

" Here, I brought Gimbap, Kimchi, and some snacks...." He grinned as he takes out the boxes from the bag.

" Love Gimbap and Kimchi...." You smiled, sitting next to him on the couch. You got out your journals and books to study.

°°°

" Wow, This is easy.....imma ace this exam....." He smirks to himself still reviewing his paper. " As always?..." You rolled your eyes.

" Y/nnie~ open your mouth, say ahhhh" he teases as he grabs the Gimbap with his fork over his other hand so it wouldn't drop, and push it towards your lips. You widen your eyes and slightly blush when you saw that coming.

Still, you obey and opened your mouth taking the bite. "Mmm~" you nodded and smiled happily.

"Good!" You said while chewing, your cheeks getting puffy. Taehyun giggle and mumbled

" cute ..". Still you heard that and that made you feel some type of way you can't explain.

Some time pass both of you still studying together on the same couch. Taehyun was still enjoying his kimchi. You watch how he ate it deliciously making you hungry again. You watch his hand, his manly veiny-looking hands holding on to the fork, taking the fork towards his mouth and taking a bite softly. Your mouth was watering by just watching him taking the bite and chewing it slowly. He close his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows together forming tiny lines on his forehead. He shook his head slightly enjoying the taste of kimchi.

'lucky kimchi....' you thought without realizing it.

There were times where you would think about Taehyun. Thinking about him in a then not so-most innocent and pure way and you felt ashamed. Like you said before he is one handsome man with an amazing athletic body so sometimes he would wake a tiny fire of desire inside of you. As always you're very respectful and never try anything funny towards him.

However, today you can feel the heat coming back again. Seeing him next to you so close, where you can see his little imperfections on his face, neck, hands and still you find the perfect. You feel the heat rushing to your cheeks and your heart beating fast. The desire to kiss was getting stronger. You didn't realize how close you were leaning towards hi him until suddenly looks away from his book and looks down at at at at your eyes with an intense stare. His big eyes move from your forehead, eyes, lips, and lastly your lips. While you just stare at his lips the entire time.

" What are doing...." He whispered. His serious intense look not changing. His hot breath tickles your nose and cheek. You were feeling aroused by his stare, breath, and his whisper sexy voice.

" You should be staring down your sheet, not on my lips....." Taehyun said, leaning slowly towards you. " I know but I can't help it... would love to study your lips too..." You whispered back now looking at his eyes. Now you're no longer thinking straight.

" And how would you do that?" He whispered back staring back and ford on both of your eyes. He leaned even more closer making you lean away from a little. His hand sneakily touches your left hand that rested on the couch seat behind you. He clutched your hand tightly as his lips were centimeters close to your lips.

You couldn't hold it anymore and you are going to show him how to "study his lips". You slam your lips on his. It wasn't aggressive but not too soft, it was just right. Taehyun also attacks back, his left hand rested on your cheeks and neck, his other hand still holding your left hand. The slightly hard kiss became more passionately and rougher as now Taehyun press you against him so closely. His hand digs through your hair, and his other hand suddenly snakes around your waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your hands run through his silver and black hair pulling his locks of hair.

The kiss was hard, rough, and passionately almost as if you two were eating up each other's mouths.

You felt this wasn't enough, you wanted to feel him even closer to you. You decided to get on top of his lap. You wrapped your legs around his torso. Now you can feel his ripped body and his everything so close to yours.

" Ahh, ~ Tae..... *kisses* you're so...*kisses* hot....*kisses, lip biting from him* mmm~ Taehyun~~......I like you". You said as you immediately pulled away to take a breath. You just realized what you said covering your mouth.

" As my friend!" You said with a terrifying expression.

Taehyun chuckled and raised an eyebrow. " Are you sure?..... because friends don't kiss, especially like we did....." He whispered the last sentence, leaning close again to peck on your lips.

" I want more...." He whispered to you as he kiss your cheeks. You smiled shyly and look down away from his gaze. Your cheeks turning into a pink shade. Taehyun grabs your chin softly and made you face him. He leans slowly and kisses your lips. You melted into his kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck rightly, pressing your body against him even more. His hands roamed around your back and sides. Sometimes he'll run his hands through your hair just like you did with his.

You two enjoy this intimate moment with each other for while. Enjoying this new feeling you two discover together. Now, this is happening.....it makes you wonder what will happen next? What would happen to this relationship? You will decide what your fate with Taehyun would be in the future, for sure you two won't be staying like friends forever? Right?......

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Thank you for reading!

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h2bakugou · 4 years ago

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Ok cool beans, I just wanted to check first! I wanted to request something with a socially anxious, real hates giving presentations and trying to talk to new people(but one that opens up with time)type person. It's Valentine's Day and they work up the nerve to give him honmei choco. I though this would be cute!

a/n: yess!! this is super cute, i did touch base so this request is for bakugou, thank you for the lovely request, i hope this is good since valentines day is right around the corner!!

summary: you’re shy and rarely open up, but with time, you came to get closest to the polar opposite of your personality, bakugou. and on valentines day, you decide to give him some honmei choco

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff

word count: 1.7k

;cut for length;

»»————-　★　————-««

Bakugou Katsuki. Loud, obnoxious, egotistical, bold, abrasive. The complete opposite of you, quiet, small friend circle, and socially anxious.

But despite the differences, and the vast contrasts of your character, you opened up to him.

You had been paired together on a project, and though you’d both much rather work alone, you toughed it out and headed to his dorm to work. And through minimal to soon a never-ending conversation, you became friends.

The following week, everyone was astounded that you’d begun talking and ‘hanging out’ regularly. Now when you were paired together, you got your work done first and spent the rest of the time chatting.

Bakugou hadn’t really known much about you before the project that started your friendship, all he knew was that he thought you were pretty cute. You were quiet, and based on your rather shy personality, he’d half expected you to avoid him at all costs due to his rather loud personality.

But you weren’t scared of him like he thought you would’ve been. Still, he’d steal a few glances in your direction during classes, or when talking breaks during training.

Valentine's day was coming up. You’d been thinking about confessing your feelings to Bakugou for a while, and if all went well, you’d be hopefully closer than friends. And if it all went south, at least you’d have yummy chocolate to eat.

Trying your best not to think of the negatives, your first goal was to hunt down Sato. You figured everyone was going to buy their chocolates and gifts, but you knew better than anyone that homemade sweets were always the best.

You were good friends with Sato, for more than just his amazing cooking. You’d passed the entrance exams together and when you found out you were in class 1-a together, it kind of further moved that friendship along. He was a pretty sweet guy, pun intended, and his food was always a plus.

Hunting him down was easy, he’d been just where you expected him to be, beside the kitchen reading a book on pastries. You leaned over the table and smiled.

“I know that look. To what do I owe my cooking services?” Sato smiled, marking the page in his book by folding the corner in. You smiled and cupped your hands together.

“I’d like to make some honmei choco.” You expressed quietly. You didn’t feel exactly confident in letting the entire class know you were making ‘true feeling chocolate’ to give to someone. You’d prefer if Mina didn’t know because as much as you loved her, she’d pry until you told her who it was for.

“To whom do i owe my cooking services?” Sato changed the context of his sentence with a devious grin. You rolled your eyes and sighed.

“I’d like to confess to someone, I can buy all the ingredients if you can help make them.” You offer to pay for all the supplies. Sato nods and glances over at where Kaminari, Kirishima, Bakugou, and Sero sat on one of the couches, Kaminari and Sero having a Beyblade battle.

“I’m sure Bakugou’s gonna love them.” Sato’s comment slips past you as you begin to speak.

“Yeah, I think he will too-wait!” You freeze and look at him, your face is hot and red as you stare at Sato.

“Please tell me-”

“I knew it.” Sato grins and hops up, walking into the kitchen to compile a list of all the things you’d need to buy that wasn’t already there.

“Just spare me until Valentine’s.” You sigh, following after him.

The list was fairly simple, so you were off to the store when it had been made while Sato prepared everything back in his room.

When you returned, you were stopped by Sero, one of your closer friends.

“Whatcha’ doin’ with Sato?” Sero asked, helping you with your bags up the stairs. Sero was really there trying to get the inside scoop for Bakugou who had been rather grumpy after seeing you with Sato.

“We’re baking!” You smile, thanking him for helping you carry your bags. Sero nods and pauses for a second.

“You gonna ask him to be your Valentine?” Sero asked bluntly. You freeze and shake your head.

“No! We’re just friends, where’d you get that idea?” You try to play it cool. You’d just friend-zoned one of your friends and now you felt kind of awkward.

“You guys seemed pretty closer earlier, was just curious. So do you have a Valentine at all this year?” Sero’s question was personal for sure, and it made your heart rate quicken.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to ask me-”

“No! Relax, no offense.” Sero laughs, you pat his shoulder and sigh.

“None taken. But I uhm, do have an idea. Just kind of nervous about it.” You were stopped down the hall from Sato’s room chatting.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be fine, just be confident! You’re totally badass, and if they decline, we’ll play Mario kart and eat pizza and snacks and I’ll knock some sense into them later.” Sero jokes. You giggle at his suggestion. You nod and take the bags from his hand and continue down the hall, feeling way better about what the future was to hold. You had this in the bag, you’d be fine.

Making the chocolate was fun. Of course, there were some fails, but the ones that turned out good were the ones you decorated and wrapped carefully, making them look pretty. The fails were still incredibly delicious, and Sato was rather impressed for the outcome considering it was his first go at making them.

“So you and Bakugou.” Sato wiped his mouth with a napkin after eating one of the first attempts. You sigh and nod.

“I didn’t think I’d like him. We’re polar opposites! He’ll kill me for saying this, but he’s really sweet.” You confess, staring down at the wine-red heart-shaped box you’d just set the chocolates in, carefully tying a matching red ribbon around it.

“You anchor him. I think he’s got a pretty big crush on you, but that’s just cause I’m observant.” Sato was reassuring you. He knew you were nervous, tomorrow was either going to be really good, or terrible. He respected Bakugou, but he didn’t know if his cooking was going to be able to console you if Bakugou didn’t like you back.

“What does that mean?” You question, staring at him quizically. Sato begins to elaborate.

“You’re the perfect amount of humble and quiet that shows him how peaceful things can be. He needs you to be the calm and serenity in his life.” Sato’s words drifted around in your head as you sat quietly, processing what he’d said.

“Thank you, for helping me make these, and for making me feel better.” You were confident. You were ready. The most nerve-wracking part was going to come tomorrow, when you stood before him and asked him to be your Valentine.

“Please, he’s going to ask you first, I know it.” Sato laughed, offering you one of the failed attempts. You quickly reach over and pop one into your mouth, smiling at the delightful taste.

The following day, you woke up early, took a shower, and put on an outfit you’d picked out the night before. A cute top along with a pair of cute pants to really make you feel good, you were hyping yourself up. Sato and Sero had both texted you telling you good luck, excited about how the day was going to turn out.

Bakugou had woken up fairly early as well. After Sero confirmed that Sato was in fact not your Valentine, he’d felt better about asking you. Sero had also informed Bakugou that you were planning on asking someone. Bakugou was nervous.

That was new.

He put on something casual, his plan was to ask you out to the park, maybe take you to lunch and buy you some flowers if you wanted. He’d been really stuck up on asking you out, not just to be his Valentine, but to be his altogether. He was going to do it. He had to ask you before-

A knock on his dorm room door interrupted his thoughts. He quickly jolted over to the door, buttoning up his shirt save for the top two buttons, leaving just a little bit of room for him to breathe.

You stood in all of your beauty, hair fixed nicely, your lips glossy and pink and perfectly kissable, your outfit something out of a daydream he’d had about you. In your gentle hands sat a red heart-shaped box.

“Hi, Bakugou.” You said softly. Bakugou’s eyes widened as he stared down at the box.

“Hey.” He replied, swallowing the lump in his throat. Were you-

“Will you be my Valentine?” You asked, offering him the box. Bakugou’s eye began to twitch.

You were asking him?

“I was supposed to ask you first dumbass!” Bakugou placed his hand on the top of your head carefully as to not mess up your beautiful hair.

“Huh?” You stare at him.

"Will you go out with me?” Bakugou asked. You bit your bottom lip and nodded, a smile slowly growing on your lips.

“Then yes I’ll be your Valentine.” Bakugou hummed, taking the box that sat in your hands. Opening it revealed the yummy honmei choco you’d worked on with Sato.

Taking a bite of one, Bakugou was thoroughly suprised. It was much better than anything store-bought. He offered you one.

“I made them for you, not for me!” You giggled. Bakugou admired you as your hands laid against one another, happy that he had enjoyed his chocolates.

“Let’s go out, come on.” Bakugou set the chocolates down in his room and grabbed a jacket, tugging you along down the hall.

Your hand slid into his and you wrapped your fingers around his. Bakugou tried to hide his blush by tilting his head down, but as you walked out you could hear the cheers of Mina, Sero, Kaminari, Kirishima, and Sato, congratulating the two of you.

The date went well considering the hoards of people out spending time with their significant others. The park was beautiful, and surprisingly, not packed. You’d suggested to stop and admire some of the scenery.

Pulling you into him, Bakugou tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Happy Valentine’s day, beautiful.” Bakugou’s lips collided with yours, his hands resting on your hips. You melted into his touch and his kiss, smiling as your hands rested against his chest.

The kiss was warm and sweet, his lips tasting vaguely of the dessert you’d shared at the small cafe you ate at.

Pulling away you nodded, resting your head against his chest.

“Happy Valentine’s day, handsome.”

“Tch.”

Handsome.

»»————-　★　————-««

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sorryimananti-romantic · 3 years ago

Text

Mist | Choi San | Chapter 5

Pairing: Choi San x OC (Seohyun)

Genre: supernatural (ghost), romance, high school

Trigger Warnings: paranormal, death mentions, violence

Words: 8.7k

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my original character and the story. I do not own any gifs or pictures used.

Full story on Wattpad (don’t spoil here if you read there too)

chapter directory

--------------

Seohyun woke up to her phone buzzing. She groaned and rubbed her eyes, checking who was calling. It was San. She declined the call to read the several text messages he had sent. It was something about how they were all going out for lunch and she was joining (funny how they'd stop asking now, just said it) and that she was... to go on a date with him later.

She texted back a simple OK and checked the time. It was already almost afternoon- she had slept in. After showering, she was brushing her teeth when she paused.

It was gonna be her first date with San.

"Ayyy~" she waved at her reflection, resuming. She wasn't one to make a big deal out of stuff, but she had to admit it was... a little bit exciting. And she couldn't say the same about San. He seemed like the type to take these things serious, like first dates. So she decided that she did not want to disappoint him and would put in a little bit effort.

Seohyun checked her wardrobe. She didn't have much 'cute' stuff. Her first priority was always comfort when she picked her clothes. And they were usually monochrome or dark colours. She didn't like wearing bright stuff. Her only mildly cute outfit was the green dress she'd worn the last time with Jiwoo.

She moved on way too early, Seohyun thought. There was no one to help her dress up now. Her mom...

Seohyun realized there was something. Her mother had given her some sort of a top for her birthday last year. She had buried it in the back of her closet because she had deemed it too 'fashionable' for her. Seohyun threw her clothes out to find it. Indeed, it was still there.

It was a purple blouse with lace around the neck and tiny pearls. She shrugged. She'd pair it with pants and ankle boots.

After dressing up and tying her hair in half a ponytail, she stood in front of the mirror. She looked presentable, if one ignored her still-puffy-from-sleeping face. She sighed and put on the only lip gloss she had. That could do. She smiled at her reflection once before grabbing her phone and leaving the house.

They were meeting at a new café that Yunho and Yeosang had been wanting to try on forever. Yeosang had assured them it had good reviews for their desserts too. They were all already there by the time Seohyun reached. She had spent a good minute admiring the exterior of the café while the boys laughed at her unaware self, watching her through the window.

Mingi waved at her once she was inside and they made space for her. After exchanging greetings, they decided they would order food first. They decided on ordering two of everything and sharing, and once they gave the order, they all looked at Seohyun.

"You look... like you actually made effort today," Hongjoong commented.

"What do you mean?" Seohyun asked, forgetting for a second.

"Hey, don't say that, or she'll never dress up again," San pouted, and Seohyun realized, looking down at her dress.

"Is it too much?" she asked, "I've actually, honestly, never made effort. So I need honest reviews."

"It's not too much, it's perfect," Seonghwa assured, "In fact, you could have done more, but since this is you, it's perfect."

"That sounds.... like a compliment and insult at the same time, thank you Seonghwa."

They laughed and Yeosang said, "Hongjoong's the fashionista. You should only ask him."

"Yes, yes, Seonghwa's right. You look good!"

"That's the only top I had," Seohyun sighed, looking at San who was staring at her with an adorable expression on his face. "The rest of my wardrobe, you've seen."

"I guess we're going shopping then after this. I hope you have the card on you that you liked to flex about so much," Hongjoong smirked.

"I do-"

"But we're going on our first date today-"

"WHAT?!"

Seohyun face-palmed. San had done it.

San looked at Seohyun for help and she sighed. "Well, no need to over-react, Wooyoung. As you all know, San and I are... sort of, uh... dating?"

Yunho snickered first before everyone started laughing at how awkward Seohyun suddenly got, and it was her turn to look at San for help. It wasn't everyday she lost her demeanor. Falling in love did make one a different person, she realized.

"Yeah, so you're sort of dating?" Jongho wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yes, Jongho, we're DATING." Seohyun said, "And San was planning to take me on our first date after this."

"You haven't been on your first date yet?" Wooyoung asked, "But it's been days now that you've been together! Sannie, you disappoint me!"

Before San could choke Wooyoung, Seohyun interrupted, "It was me. I was busy dealing with ghosts. It turns out Jiwoo had actually been a saint. Did anyone of you know that she used to do half my jobs?"

Everyone fell silent as they listened, "She was never 'bored' of coming to school with me. She just had so much time to kill that she'd help ghosts instead of me. I kind of miss her more now."

"That's sweet," Mingi said, "She really was a great friend."

"I know right! Anyways, this is the reason we haven't had our first date yet."

Other than San, the boys shared looks, and Seohyun saw with dread the devilish smirks appear on their faces as they announced: "Too bad! We're crashing your first date!"

San groaned and dramatically fell back in his chair while Seohyun gaped at them. "I-I'm speechless for once." Laughter filled the room as she said, "If that's what friends are for, I think I'm gonna change my mind..."

Before anyone could protest, food came and they started discussing Hongjoong's love for fashion and the various items he had reformed. Hongjoong assured her if she had a clothing item or something she would like to reform, he was the man.

"I do have this denim jacket that I'm too attached to," Seohyun thought about it, "Can you write something cool on the back of it?"

"Yes, just give me the jacket whenever you can. It'll take no more than two days, unless we have exams."

Seohyun looked at Seonghwa for confirmation and he nodded. "He also makes custom bracelets for us."

"Nice," Seohyun said, "I'd like some too," she wiggled her brows at Hongjoong, who laughed and nodded.

"So what were you gonna do on your first date?" Wooyoung and Jongho leaned in and asked Seohyun.

"San was the one in charge, ask him," she said.

"I was thinking we'd just walk aimlessly around the city..."

They both tsk-ed at San, muttering something about how he was an 'amateur' and would probably bore me to death.

"Hey, that's a nice idea actually. I don't mind."

"You're just saying that to be nice," Jongho said and Seohyun folded her arms.

"I don't say things to be nice, Choi Jongho."

Everyone hooted at that, having heard her, and Seohyun stared at her drink intensely, contemplating if she should 'accidentally' spill it on everyone.

"But she's right, actually," Yeosang said, "She doesn't say things to be nice. If she didn't like that idea, I'm sure she would have said to San with a hidden insult in between. I'm right, aren't I?"

"Thank you, Yeosang," Seohyun said, "I love you."

Yeosang saluted and San pouted, "Hey! You haven't even said that to me yet!"

Everyone was silent for a good minute before they burst out laughing, including Seohyun. San's pout went bigger and Seohyun poked him.

"Ayyy. I say that everyday, just not in words."

"OHHHH!" Everyone hooted and San actually smiled, trying to hide a blush but failing.

"How do you say it then?" Mingi asked, wiggling his brows, and Yunho made kissing sounds in the air, earning a smack from Wooyoung who was right beside him.

"Next time I encounter a dangerous ghost, I'm actually gonna befriend them," Seohyun said, smashing her now empty glass on the table as she glared at them, "I have a few ideas of how to make you all suffer."

Yunho snickered and Mingi immediately bowed, muttering praises about how Seohyun was the most kind girl he'd ever met. It was Seohyun's turn to smirk.

After they were done eating, everyone got up and they decided to go to the mall. It seemed like Hongjoong was bent on getting her good dresses, and he whispered to her that she should wear them on her dates, which actually made Seohyun flush for a good second.

"Hi," San said, holding her hand in his. He was walking with her now, both at the end while the others were ahead.

"Hey," Seohyun smiled, squeezing his hand subconsciously as she continued walking forward.

"Did you know purple is my favourite colour? I love this on you," San said, and Seohyun smiled.

"I did not. You'll have to thank my mom for this," Seohyun said, "She got me this for my birthday last year,"

"Oh, when's your birthday?"

"21st December."

"Right. So we have about two months. Is there something you want?"

"I wish my mom would be home actually," Seohyun said, "The last birthday I had with her was my 14th. I actually had fun then. Mom's friends had come, there's one that I'm close with. We had a banger then."

"That sounds fun," San smiled.

"It was," Seohyun smiled wistfully, "Now she's always busy during that time. So she just sends me a gift and a cake. And I spend my birthday alone."

San felt quite sad to hear that. "You won't be alone this year, I promise."

Seohyun looked at him. He had said that with such clarity that she believed him.

"I have a feeling that won't be the case," she suddenly said, and San almost stopped.

"What do you mean?"

"It's my gut. It's always right. I suppose it comes with the ghost thing. I just suddenly felt that wasn't going to be the case when you said that."

San put his arm around her, "You probably felt that because you've spent most of your birthdays alone. But now you have us, and there's always a chance your mom could come too. I can assure you, you won't be alone this year."

"Maybe," Seohyun let herself hope, pushing the feeling of dread back.

They reached the mall and Seohyun watched as Hongjoong and Wooyoung took the lead, discussing what would go well with her hair and skin colour, stuff that Seohyun didn't quite understand. She was too busy rejecting the ones Yunho, Mingi and Jongho were picking for her, making sure they got bright yellows and neon shades just to annoy her. They were having quite a laugh.

Seonghwa, Yeosang and San had disappeared to another shop it seemed. Wooyoung threw a top at her, ordering her to hold on herself so they could check.

"This has too many beads," Seohyun muttered.

"There are literally only 6 beads on it, stop being a child," Wooyoung said, snatching the top back from her and she pouted as they put it in the cart.

Hongjoong held another top, checking its size.

"Isn't that too short?" Seohyun asked.

"It's a crop top, Seohyun, of course it is short."

"That's basically the size of a bra! How am I supposed to wear it?!"

Hongjoong and Wooyoung tsk-ed at her. "It's not, it comes to your waist. Wear it with high waisted pants and a jacket if you can," Hongjoong threw it in the cart.

Seohyun threw her hands in the air as she looked back, the trio laughing at her misery. They were clearly enjoying. A thought struck Seohyun. She went to the three of them and asked if she should buy something for San.

"I guess he could use a new jacket," Yunho looked at Jongho and he nodded, "He's been using the same two jackets since forever."

"Help me pick," she said and dragged them to the men's section, and they picked a black denim jacket, putting it with her clothes so San wouldn't be suspicious.

After about 15 minutes, they were all done, and San, Yeosang and Seonghwa joined them as well.

"Where were you all?" Seohyun eyes them suspiciously.

"Just looking around," Seonghwa nodded, and San scratched his neck.

After they all got ice cream as refreshment, they decided to part ways, and Seohyun thanked Hongjoong and Wooyoung sincerely, saying she'd use them well.

"I'll get you both something too. Tell me what you want."

"You don't have to, just wear them, that'd be a gift," Wooyoung laughed.

"No, I can't! You guys put so much effort. I'll get you both something, just you wait," Seohyun promised.

San and her decided to walk back home, carrying the shopping bags with them.

"This is not how I had imagined our first date would go," San admitted.

"I had fun still," Seohyun smiled, "And anyway, the day is not over yet."

"It is! It's 7pm already!"

"Well, what do you say I take you on an adventure after we drop these at home?" Seohyun wiggled her eyebrows, saying, "Unless you have to go home."

"Well, no one's home today so..." San smiled, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Alright, I'll follow you."

Seohyun smiled, skipping as she walked, making San laugh out loud.

---------------

San and Seohyun reached home, dumping the several shopping bags in the living room. They decided to eat dinner and rest a bit, and Seohyun said she'd take him somewhere, but it had to be a surprise.

After they got fresh, they had ramyeon and Seohyun fished out a jacket from her wardrobe. It was gonna be chilly. She went to the living room, searching for San's jacket and went to San.

"Try this on," she said, and San got up from the sofa, trying the black jacket on. "Where we're going, it's gonna be a bit chilly."

"Wow, it fits perfectly," Seohyun stood back to check. "It's a gift."

"Really?" San looked down at the jacket. "Did you get this today?" Seohyun nodded. San smiled, thanking her with a hug.

They locked the house, grabbing only a bag with water bottle and chocolates. They took a taxi, a 30 minute drive to a hill. Seohyun told San she knew a shortcut to get to the top, and indeed, after a short hike, they reached the top.

"The view is amazing," San said, admiring how the full moon lit the night sky, the stars in the sky bright too. The city lights down seemed like stars too.

"A few months ago, a ghost teleported me here. He had died of an accident somewhere around here, and wanted help finding his sister, who had passed away with him. Jiwoo was with me, thankfully. It took us the whole day but we found her."

"Wow, I'm glad Jiwoo was with you," San said, and they both sat on the grass, facing the moon. "Imagine if you were alone and had to go back."

"Oh, I'm not sure if they even moved on. They said they wanted to spend some time together before they moved on, since they weren't sure what life ahead had for them. They might still be enjoying the ghost life."

"Really? Isn't that... dangerous?"

"They did promise. I said I'd come back after a year, and if they hadn't moved on by then, I'd personally exorcise them."

San laughed. "That's kind of you."

Seohyun winked at him. San was looking at the stars, and she took that time to admire his side-profile. He really was a work of art.

"Byeol," San said.

"What?"

"I'm naming our cat Byeol. Now that's an acceptable name, isn't it?"

Seohyun stared at him. "I mean, I was okay with Shiber too..."

"HEY!" San tackled her, tickling her everywhere and Seohyun laughed loudly, "Do you know how much time I spent thinking of a name for the cat!"

"Stop!" Seohyun laughed, and San stopped tickling to hear her out. "I love it. Byeol. Shiber. Whatever you wanna call her."

San shook his head at her. Seohyun realized he was still on top of her. San was staring at her, rather intensely.

San touched her hair. It was a habit of his now, playing with her hair. The grey in her hair was shining thanks to the moonlight. Her eyes shone just as brightly. Her mouth was slightly parted, and San ran his thumb across her lips.

"You're beautiful," he finally said.

Seohyun wanted to tell him that she was not, but she was too flustered to say anything. His broad shoulders blocked the moonlight, making his figure shine instead. He leaned in and kissed her softly, taking his dear time, making sure every peck was slow and good.

Seohyun's internal state was a mess at this time; her heart was beating too loudly, her stomach rolling too furiously, and her mind- oh it was an absolute mess. So she just let him kiss her senseless, her hands going through his hair and back to cup his face as they kissed.

San drew apart and Seohyun held onto his neck, making them sit, and San joined her forehead with his as they caught their breath. He rested her hands on her waist, and Seohyun gulped as she took his hands and put them on her waist under her shirt this time.

San inhaled sharply at the touch, looking at her for confirmation. He was always so patient with her, which she loved about him. Seohyun cupped his face and kissed him, more forcefully now. San followed along, his hands staying at her waist only, his thumb caressing her skin there. She kissed his neck, earning a satisfying moan from him.

"You're being naughty today," San whispered.

"You're being too good today," Seohyun retorted.

"Don't challenge me, Lee Seohyun," San warned, grinning.

"What you're gonna do, Choi San?"

San shook his head once, taking his hands away from her. Seohyun was going to protest but he took off his jacket and kissed Seohyun so hard that she found herself curving back and back until she was lying on the grass. He kissed her face, her neck, her collarbone, one hand on her waist, one roaming around, and Seohyun was a mess.

"What do you say? Do you regret this now?" San asked, smirking.

"Can't say I regret it," Seohyun answered, out of breath.

San laughed, kissing her one last time before lying down with her, holding her close.

Seohyun smiled. "This reminds me of the time when we first kissed," she said, "You were so sleepy."

"I was wide awake internally," San said, making her laugh a little. Seohyun traced his face with her fingers.

"I love you, San."

San's eyes went a little wide in surprise. Seohyun continued, "I know I haven't said it before. I don't know what I waited for. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," San brought her closer as if hugging her, "You didn't have to. I see it everyday."

Seohyun smiled, "Still. I have to say it out loud. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. If I knew love would make me feel pain like this, this weird satisfying sort of pain in the heart, this ache, I would've run away. But I still love you."

"I feel the same," San said, sighing, "I feel scared for you, I'm afraid that you'll get hurt. You do such a dangerous job. I hope I could have been more help. I love you so much that I wish I'd have to do all this instead of you."

"You don't have to," Seohyun said, "This is enough. You, like this, is more than enough."

San couldn't help it; he kissed her again, and it felt like he could cry.

After a few moments, they finally got up. San wore his jacket, and said, "Oh, I almost forgot."

He took out a box from his pocket and handed it to Seohyun. Seohyun opened it to see a locket with a silver star, a single diamante shining in the middle of it.

"It's beautiful," Seohyun smiled, "Is that what you shopped for today?"

"Yep. Come here," San took the necklace from her and helped her wear it.

"Thank you. I'm never gonna take it off," Seohyun said and San laughed.

"Are you saying I should never take this jacket off too?"

"Well," Seohyun shrugged, "If you can manage."

They were laughing when Seohyun's smile suddenly fell from her face.

"There's someone behind me San," she whispered, not taking her eyes off him. "Don't look."

San almost looked away on impulse but Seohyun took his hand, grabbing his attention. "I said don't look. Smile like you were before, quick. Laugh."

San laughed awkwardly, making sure he was smiling. "Look from the corner of your eyes, can you see something?"

San did, and whispered, "I think I see something moving to your left, but it's a bit far I think."

"It's not good," Seohyun whispered, and San understood. "We're gonna have to make a run for it. On the count of three?"

San nodded, squeezing her hand.

"One. Two. Three."

San took her hand and made a dash, realizing that they couldn't go to the trail they'd come for since it was in the opposite direction. Seohyun took the lead, dragging San with her, trying to remember the other way. She looked back once and saw a sickly old woman almost caught up now. A little scream left her and they both ran, Seohyun stopping to grab a rock and aim at the woman. It narrowly missed her but distracted her long enough that they gained speed.

"Where's the other trail?" San shouted and Seohyun went through path after path, not bothering to reply. They were probably lost now.

Seohyun was about to give up and face the woman when a pair of hands grabbed her and she felt herself teleporting a few feet away from where they were, gaining more distance. She heard San gasp and looked to make sure he was okay, but hands grabbed her and she was running again.

"You!" Seohyun exclaimed. The boy and the girl- the brother and sister that had died here. She could not believe it.

"There's a cave here, we're teleporting again, grab on tight!"

Seohyun squeezed San's hand and shut her eyes. One moment she was running and the other she had jumped through time and space and was in the said cave.

"You call this a cave?" Seohyun asked. The boy ignored her, peeking out of the 'cave' as he covered the entrance with more tree branches.

San still held her hand, out of breath, taking out the bottles from Seohyun's bag and handing one to her while he drank some too.

"She lost us," The boy looked back and smiled proudly, high fiving his sister.

The boy must have been 16- he was a tall, lean kid. His short hair were spiky and his eyes were the same as his sister's- who must have been a year older. She looked at Seohyun and said, "Didn't expect to meet you like this, Seohyun."

Seohyun wiped her mouth. "Hi, Gayoung." She looked at the boy then, "Thanks, Youngjae."

"We owed you one," he said, motioning them to sit and take a breather. "We've been living here, so we kind of knew about the woman. She's an old soul, that one. I don't think you can do anything about her, best if you avoid her."

"Well, she should avoid me! Next time I'm gonna kill her-"

"I see you haven't changed," Gayoung grinned. "Who's that with you? And why is he not freaking out?"

"He's my boyfriend," Seohyun said, and Gayoung and Youngjae ooh-ed. "He knows. There was some accident, so he can see ghosts now too. Can't touch them."

"Interesting," Youngjae scanned San. "I didn't know we could teleport others too."

"Only because I was holding him. I guess because it was the two of you, it didn't require me to properly hold him. Remember Jiwoo? She tried it once. Took me to the ghost realm accidentally, with him!"

"With him!" Gayoung gasped, "Is that why he can...?"

"Yes!" Seohyun answered, "I almost died making that trip."

San elbowed Seohyun. "You call that dying?"

"Shut up. So you live here still?"

"Yes, we'll actually move on before the year completes," Youngjae said, "We're just waiting for our parent's wedding anniversary. We used to celebrate it, so we just wanna see them happy before we move on."

"Ah, that's good."

"Where's Jiwoo anyway?" Gayoung asked.

"She moved on," Seohyun sighed.

"So she finally remembered? Good for her!" Youngjae said and they nodded.

After catching up a few minutes, they decided it was safe to go back. Seohyun thanked them earnestly, saying she owed them one more now because this was too big a favour. They just dismissed it, telling her to stay safe. They guided them to another shortcut and soon the two of them were on the way home.

They stopped by at Seohyun's first, and San went inside with her for a moment, hugging her, telling her she was so brave for keeping her calm in that situation, telling her he was proud. With a kiss to her forehead, he left for home.

Seohyun washed up and fell on her bed, beyond exhausted. She recalled the day in her mind; it was a day well spent, if you ignored the last part. She smiled as she played the moments in her head; San was such a sweetheart today. She was playing with her necklace as she fell asleep.

----------------

The few days that followed their rather adventurous first date were as normal as they could get, keeping in mind the fact that it was Seohyun's life in question. She had a tremendous amount of school work to catch up to, and several ghosts to help move on.

Having friends actually helped, Seohyun realized one day as she was doing her homework. She was an average student; she'd do great if she tried, and if she didn't... well. So they'd help her with the subjects they were good at, they'd be her personal motivators, and she'd try to return the favours as well as she could.

She'd been thinking about how she could return the long due favour to Hongjoong and Wooyoung. They'd help her update her wardrobe, and the feedbacks she'd gotten were amazing. She supposed San was a softie and would compliment her even if she was in her worst hoodie, but when critics like Yeosang complimented her, she'd feel glad. She didn't really care about how she looked, but it felt good to dress up once in a while. Special occasions only.

Seohyun sighed as she shut her notebook close and got up, stretching. She found herself going to the music room. There were no drums anymore to relieve her of her stress, but she supposed she could do with something else. The violin reminded her of San as she picked it up, and she kind of missed him, so she put that down. She went to the piano, and inhaled. She'd be playing it for the first time now, after Joon Hyuk.

She tested the keys; it sounded out of tune. But she let her fingers naturally roll over them, found herself playing a familiar tune, the one Joon Hyuk had taught her. She smiled as she played. It had truly been a while.

After she was done, she nodded as she figured out what she'd get Hongjoong and Wooyoung. Something they really needed.

-----------

"You're the best!" Wooyoung tackled Seohyun in a tight hug, making Seohyun yell as she tried to push him away.

"How did you come up with this idea?" Hongjoong asked as he admired the speakers in front of him.

"I noticed you could use speakers here without disturbing anyone. And with how loud you all are, you definitely needed it."

Seonghwa connected the speakers to his phone, blasting full volume as he checked them, his mouth turning into an O as he nodded in admiration. "They must have cost you quite a bit?"

"Oh, it's okay. Let's forget about that part," Seohyun waved him off, and Yunho ruffled her hair.

Mingi passed her a juice box and she sipped on it, checking the time. "I have to go now. Mom's coming home tonight."

"Do you want me to walk you home?" San asked.

"Oh, don't bother, enjoy these speakers," Seohyun said, giving him a fist bump as she left. She hummed along as she walked, but she had only taken one turn when she thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye.

Another ghost? She had just dealt with one right after school, before joining the boys in the warehouse.

Something flashed right behind her and she whipped to her left, stumbling. She checked left and right but it seemed the ghost had disappeared. But something about its rotting scent was familiar-

Seohyun's breath left her as she was pushed, and she turned just in time so she'd hit the wall with the side of her body instead of face first. She winced in pain, pushing the hair out of her eyes. There was no one there.

But she didn't have to check who it was. The scent had been enough for her.

Seohyun contemplated running home or back to the warehouse. Ghosts couldn't enter property without the owner or mediator's permission, and since the warehouse was the closest, she decided she'd make a run for it.

She smelt it as she run, dodging one attack but getting scratched on the back near her shoulder with something sharp- she assumed it was nails. Seohyun ran faster; glad for all the running she'd done as a kid, wishing a good soul would appear and help her. But it was only her- a useless mediator with the power to only see and touch the ghosts, against a vengeful spirit.

Seohyun turned and she was in front of the warehouse. She could hear the music blast and she ran even faster if she could, until she came within what she assumed was the boundary of the property. She turned and indeed, she saw the woman, this time in the clear of the day. She wasn't sure if she could even call it a woman at this point; it was a tangle of overgrown hair, pale skin and dark eyes with purple lips. And long, long nails.

Seohyun shook her head as it disappeared and she stood in the middle of the road, contemplating once again if she should go home and risk encountering them again, or going to the warehouse, and encountering THEM.

She threw her hands in the air in frustration and went inside the warehouse.

"Oh, she's back-" Jongho paused mid-sentence as he saw the disheveled figure of Seohyun, with a bruise on her cheekbone.

Seohyun walked to them, looking at San whose eyes were wide. "It's her," she said, "the one from that hill."

San came to her, inspecting her face; the bruise was light, thankfully. "Are you hurt somewhere else?"

"On my back, I think," Seohyun turned her neck to see and indeed, her shirt was torn where those nails had scratched her. San took her to the sofa and Seonghwa brought a first aid kit, Seohyun eyeing it warily. "I should ask why you have a first aid kit."

"For a day like this, I suppose," Hongjoong said, handing her a glass of water. Seohyun looked at him once as she drank.

"How did she find you?" San asked, taking her hand and caressing it.

"It took her a while to find me, it's been more than two weeks."

"What happened?" Hongjoong asked and Seohyun explained, everyone sitting around her to hear her story.

"Why do ghosts start to look like that?" Yeosang asked.

"I don't exactly know, but time does that to them, I think."

"Don't they look scary?" Wooyoung asked.

"They look scary, but I think the fact that they were human once makes it less scarier to me?" Seohyun shrugged. She grabbed the ointment, applying it to the wound on her face. Then she looked at Seonghwa. "Is the wound on my back bad?"

Seonghwa peeked at what he could see from the torn part of her shirt, there were long cuts. "I think you should get them treated."

"Can you do something about it right now? I'll get them treated later," Seohyun said, biting her lip. Seonghwa nodded. He inspected her state, then said in a low voice, "You'll have to take off your shirt."

Seohyun groaned. At times like this, she really did miss Jiwoo.

"Or we can cut your shirt, since it's already torn," Seonghwa suggested, looking at her with a sad look in his eyes.

"I'll take it off," Seohyun said, "Let's not be awkward about this, okay? Which one of you is the best at first aid?"

"Seonghwa definitely," Mingi said.

"Should I do it?" San asked.

"You're the worst at it," Wooyoung muttered, making Seohyun scoff.

"It's just when it's someone I'm close to! I can't bear it!"

The two of them started to argue, and Seohyun decided to stop them. "I'd like you all to disappear to a corner while Seonghwa does his job. Give me some privacy. And San, you can stay if you want to."

The rest of the boys rushed away, and Seohyun bit her lip. "Not how you thought you'd see me without a shirt for the first time, eh San?"

Seonghwa went into a fit of coughs while San gaped at her statement, finally giving in after a few seconds and laughing, shaking his head. "You really pick the worst time for jokes."

"Alright, here goes," Seohyun turned her back to them and took off her shirt, San helping her hold her hair. She was left in a black bra. She wasn't flustered; not when the exposed wound left her skin stinging, and she sucked in her breath.

San helped her sit on the floor and she brought her arms to her chest, her hair covering the rest of her as Seonghwa carefully applied ointment on the three parallel scratches that ran from her shoulder all the way to the the middle of her back.

"She got you bad, Seohyun," San said worriedly, "what if she comes here?"

"She can't," Seohyun answered, "Can't enter property without owner or my permission."

"That's useful," Seonghwa muttered.

"That's actually handy, Seonghwa," Seohyun had noticed the sarcasm in his voice; she supposed he was angry at the whole situation. "I'm glad I was near when it happened." She rested her head on her knees, San watching Seonghwa apply bandages now, so careful with it. He was definitely being extra careful.

San went to get an extra shirt they had around for Seohyun, and Seonghwa finished up. Seohyun peeked at the bandages, impressed.

"Thanks, Seonghwa."

"Don't mention it," Seonghwa put the stuff back in the kit, "I wish you'd be more careful in the future."

"I can't help it, Seonghwa, believe me, I'm the most careful now," Seohyun said and Seonghwa locked his eyes with her.

"I just don't want to see you hurt, Seohyun-ah. It pains me."

"I know," Seohyun sighed, "I understand."

Seonghwa hesitated then patted her head. "I'm sure you did well back then," he smiled warmly.

"Finally. Thanks again," Seohyun laughed, and San was back. Seohyun took the shirt from him and wore it, standing up. "I'll take a taxi now."

"You sure you don't want me to come with you?" San asked.

"Oh no, it's okay now. She can't follow me in a taxi."

"Okay, at least let me walk you out."

Seohyun said thanks and bye to them all, and they told her to be careful. San and her walked out of the warehouse, and San grabbed her hand, bringing her in for a hug. Seohyun hugged him back, her arms on his back, smiling.

"Were you scared back then?" San asked.

"A little," Seohyun admitted, "Just glad I was near."

San broke the hug, putting her hair behind her ears, touching her cheek below the bruise. "Does it hurt?"

"This? Nope. The one in the back, yes, a little."

"Do get proper treatment," San said, looking at her worriedly.

"I will," Seohyun laughed, "Don't worry too much?"

"How can I not?" San shook his head, leaning forward to kiss her. "Your taxi's here."

------------

Seohyun reached home, cleaning the mess around the house, until she heard the sound of the door opening. Her mother was home.

Seohyun said hello and smiled at her. She looked nothing like her mom; she was tall, had pointy features and narrow eyes, and she looked sharp and intelligent. Her dark hair reached her shoulders. She put her handbag on the table and came to gave her a hug.

"How have you been?"

"Just the usual," Seohyun said, "What about you?"

"Ugh, I've been so busy," she said, collapsing on the sofa. "What do we have for dinner?"

"I'll set the table," Seohyun said. She had prepared her favourite dishes with the help of their previous housemaid, who she was still on good terms with. The old woman would drop by every once in a while, and she'd exchange her kimchi and some traditional dishes for Seohyun's pastas and desserts that she loved.

The mother and daughter caught up on studies and work as they ate. She told Seohyun she would have a busy time in the following month, but she'd try to come for her birthday, or else it was gonna be Christmas.

"How's the ghost business?" Her mother asked, drinking water.

"Was going well, until today I encountered an evil one," Seohyun said, "You'd have to help me with a wound I got on my back."

Her mother stared at her. "Are you alright?"

"Oh I am," Seohyun nodded, "I'll deal with her, I was just caught off-guard. She got me for a second."

"I hope you do," her mother said, "Tell me if you need help."

Seohyun smirked at her, "Wrong thing to say."

Her mother laughed, "Yeah, you probably know way more people than I do. Come on, let me have a look."

Seohyun showed her, and her mother winced. She helped change her bandages and gave her a doctor's information so she could visit and get treated, make up a story about how it was a stray dog or something. Seohyun thanked her, and after chatting a while, she left her to sleep.

"When will you return to work?" Seohyun asked.

"Tomorrow evening. I'll see you off for school in the morning. We'll see each other next month then."

"Oh, okay. Goodnight," Seohyun said, coming to her room and lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She wished she had stayed longer. But it was okay.

This was enough.

-----------------

A week had passed without further incidents. Seohyun was careful; she'd take taxi if she could, or she'd keep the sibling duo with her. She called them in, saying she'd owe them one if they could teleport her when needed. So the duo happily stick with her, saying they were bored of living in the hills and would like to visit a school too.

The boys had become friendly with the duo; they'd either communicate through San (who had given up now; he was quite tired of being their voice) or through the old-fashioned way: notebooks. They'd pretend to be studying in class when in fact they'd be having a conversation with the ghosts.

"I have a question," Yeosang said to Seohyun in the middle of class. Seohyun, who had been staring at Mingi and Gayoung conversing, looked at Yeosang.

"How would you get rid of old ghosts like the one you encountered?"

"Good question," Seohyun said, "There are a few options. I could try to talk sense into them. If that doesn't work, I get help from the good ghosts and threaten them. Like, every ghost had some sort of faith, right? Usually works if you use their god against them."

"But what if they have no faith anymore?"

"Goodnight, then, I guess," Seohyun said and Yeosang gasped. "You take help from actual exorcists then too. I once did. Got quite rough, but it works."

"Sounds dangerous," he muttered.

"Kind of," Seohyun agreed.

Seohyun was walking home after school with her new ghost friends when she sensed something amiss. "Just when I thought it was over."

Gayoung and Youngjae covered her back and front defensively. The woman appeared out of nowhere, stopping when she saw the ghosts.

"Well, well," she said, and Seohyun winced. Her voice sounded creepy. "What do we have here?"

"What do you want?" Seohyun asked.

"Death of you," the woman laughed, "Don't try to talk me out of it. You can't."

"What good is that gonna do to you?" Seohyun asked, genuinely curious.

The woman laughed again, this time sarcastically. "Don't tell me you didn't know? When a mediator dies, there is a short time period during which there is no other mediator in the world. That's when ghosts can do whatever they want; trespass, interact with humans, and much more."

"How is that true? I mean, if it were really true, more people would be trying to kill me, won't they?"

"Oh dear," the woman smiled this time, all knowingly, which sent chills throughout her body, "That's why it's a secret, isn't it?"

Gayoung and Youngjae shared looks. If it was true, they could interact with their parents, which was all they wanted. But they wouldn't harm Seohyun for that. Not after all she had done for them.

"I'll be back, girl," the woman's voice was sure, "When you least expect it. And I'll make sure I hear you screaming before you die."

The three of them watched as she gave her a long final look before she disappeared. They were quite for a few seconds and Seohyun caught her breath. "Don't tell me you both want to kill me now too."

"Oh, we wouldn't," Gayoung said, "We really wouldn't."

"You sound very assuring, noona," Youngjae said sarcastically, earning a tsk as he looked at Seohyun. "Let's get you home. We'll look for someone else who can get rid of that old bitch."

Seohyun nodded and they walked home, the duo arguing while Seohyun just walked blankly. She couldn't get the look the ghost had given out of her head. She sounded so sure. As if she had something already planned for her.

Seohyun sat in front of the TV for hours, her mind blank. All she could think was how her gut had felt when she'd said that. As if that was something that was bound to happen. Was she really gonna die?

Seohyun had never been too afraid of dying; not like an average person. For her, it was a life full of danger. She had welcomed and played with aspect of death. But her life had changed drastically over the past months. She had found people to live for. And that meant she was more scared this time.

Her phone buzzed and she read the text. It was from San asking if she wanted him to come over. Seohyun bit her lips in thought. Then she texted 'come over with chocolate ice cream please'.

And San did so. They sat on the sofa, watching TV and eating ice cream as they talked about this and that. Seohyun somehow found it very easy to talk to him, and so did San. He told her all about how he used to live in the countryside when he was little (hence the slight accent), he had mostly grown up with his grandparents because his parents were busy people.

"Don't you miss your parents when they're away?" Seohyun asked. Her ice cream was finished.

"I do, of course. Don't you?"

"I miss my mom sometimes," Seohyun admitted. "She's not as bad as you all think."

San gave her a pointed look and she threw a pillow at him, which he caught. "Come on, you have to admit. She talks to me. She let's me do normal stuff. She doesn't think I'm crazy. And she remembers my birthday every year. That's more than I can ask for."

"Don't you wish she did more?"

"I used to, but then I just accepted it. It's just the way it is."

San looked at her and spread his arms for her. She just threw another pillow at him, rolling her eyes. "I'm serious."

"Okay, okay. What about the ghost?"

"Well," Seohyun sighed and told him what had happened. San listened intently.

"Is there something we can do about it?" he asked.

"I'll go to that exorcist I know, but San," Seohyun turned to face him, "Something's different this time. I can't shake the feeling that something bad is gonna happen."

"It's probably just you overthinking?"

"No, it's different this time," Seohyun sounded sure, and San was actually surprised, "Something is gonna happen and it's gonna be bad. God, I want to cry."

San watched as she put her head in her hands, sighing. She heard San scoot over and she scooted away. "If you hug me now, I'm afraid I'll really cry."

"It's okay to cry, Seohyun, come here," San grabbed her arm and brought her in for a hug, and Seohyun let herself cry. It had been so long since she'd last cry.

"I'm sorry," Seohyun said, sniffing, "I miss Jiwoo a lot, if she was here, she would have handled this so well. I can't help but feel scared for you."

"Do you think something's gonna happen to me?" San asked as he patted her head.

"No. I don't know. I don't know and it's making me so frustrated," Seohyun said and cried harder. San only patted her back, muttering comforting words.

Seohyun drew back and wiped her face. "Sorry for crying on you."

"Anytime," San laughed. "I can understand that you're scared Seohyun, tell me what I can do for you."

"Just- stay with me. That's enough."

San nodded, taking her hand. "Do you want me to play something for you?"

Seohyun raised her brow, "Can you?"

"I can play the piano a little bit, unless you want me to play the violin and scare the dead away."

Seohyun laughed, "Let's go."

They went to the room, and San showed her what he'd learnt from Hongjoong of the piano. Seohyun appreciated the gesture, and on his insistence, she played the violin for him again, and he watched her adoringly.

When she was done, she put the violin down. "I came here a few days ago. I wanted to play the violin but I couldn't because it reminded me of you and I missed you. I played today. It seems like now I only play for you."

Seohyun was packing the violin when San hugged her from the back, his arms around her waist as he rocked them back and forth. Seohyun smiled. He was such a romantic.

"I like that," he whispered in her ear, making her laugh because it tickled. He nibbled on her ear, making her laugh.

"It's like the music room does something to you, San, you become such a romantic."

"I can assure you I'm the same anywhere else too," he said, still hugging her.

Seohyun looked at the clock. It was already 10 pm and they had no school tomorrow. She broke the hug and looked at him, his hands on her waist now.

"I know it's too much to ask, San, and I need you to give an honest answer, okay? I won't mind. But, can you... stay here tonight?" Seohyun almost whispered, tears welling up in her eyes again. "I'm just- I can't be alone tonight. I feel it. Something's gonna happen."

San touched her face, nodding. "Of course. If you want me to. I'll leave early in the morning."

Seohyun sighed in relief, a tear escaping her eye, "Thank you, San. Thank you."

San wiped the tear from her face. He felt scared about how she was feeling too. It was so unusual. Seohyun was always so strong, and she felt so... human. He couldn't leave her like this. He bent down and kissed her lips slowly, her arms going around his neck and her hands in his hair, clearly glad for the distraction.

She broke apart and took his hand, taking him to her bedroom, only the dim lamp on. She pushed him on the bed, surprising him, as she shut the door and kicked off her shoes, climbing on the bed and sitting on his lap. His arms were holding him from lying down and Seohyun went to cup his face and kiss him, so deeply as if she was saying her thanks through this. San's stomach turned, his heart beating wildly and he took the chance, taking one arm to grab her, but fell flat on the bed.

Seohyun was now on top of him. She stared at him for the longest time, and it made San feel so many different things. He saw the necklace he had given her dangling off her neck, and his hand went to touch it as a smile made its way on his face.

Seohyun smiled too then gave him soft pecks on his lips, both of them smiling through it. She was taking her sweet time and San had enough. He flipped her down, now on top of her, making her gasp in surprise as he smirked. But his smirked wiped off as she leaned forward and took his shirt off, running her hands through his toned body.

"Damn, San, I didn't know you worked out," Seohyun smirked.

San only smiled as he kissed her, loving the feeling of her hands all over him. His hands went to her waist and she broke apart for a second, motioning him to unbutton her shirt. San looked at her to make sure it was okay and she nodded, rolling her eyes but smiling.

"Is your wound okay now?" San asked as he unbuttoned her shirt.

"Probably left a scar," Seohyun muttered and he made her sit so he could check.

She was right. 3 parallel scratches had left their scar. It would take time to fade. "You reminded me of that ghost again, San. Distract me."

San kissed her bare shoulder, making her gasp, and kissed and nibbled on her neck, playing with her necklace. Seohyun moaned and felt San smile. She slapped his shoulder, making him laugh. "You asked for it," he said.

"I'm gonna make you moan so loud, Choi San-"

"Sshh," he said, kissing her passionately. Seohyun took that chance to bite on his lower lip while her hands gripped his waist now, and that earned her a moan. It was her turn to smile. San kissed her some more, before lying down with her, pulling the covers over them.

"It's late," he said, bringing her closer, "Sleep now."

"I don't wanna..." Seohyun said, putting her arm around him and kissed his neck, earning a sigh.

"I'm not gonna be able to stop if you keep doing that," San sighed. Seohyun melted at his words.

"Glad to know that," she whispered, but just hugged him, kissing his shoulder innocently now.

"I love you, San. You know that, right?"

"I know," he whispered back.

"I should tell you that everyday. Hell, I should have told you that everyday. I'm sorry."

"Seohyun," San made her face him, "You don't have to. I know that. You don't even have to say it out loud."

"Still," Seohyun said, "I should have told you that everyday."

San stared at her. He kissed her forehead and hugged her. "I love you too. And you know that right? I say it everyday, goofily, jokingly, or sometimes serious. But you still know it, even when I say it as a joke. That's because you know, just like I do."

Seohyun nodded. She buried her face in his chest, going under the covers, his arms securely around him.

"Goodnight, love." San whispered.

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meichenxi · 3 years ago

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Obsession, ‘productivity’ and habits vs routines: starting learning in a healthier way

cw: perfectionism, obsessiveness, allusion to eating disorders, depression, anxiety (very non-explicit) I’m going to be writing a series of posts from some asks I’ve had waiting for me, on how to build a cohesive language learning routine, but I wanted to preface that first with something we talk about less than we should in the language learning community: obsessiveness, perfectionism, recovery from mental health, and how to approach language learning in a better way. If the personal stuff bores you, feel free to skip the first two paragraphs.

I have been trying to ‘be more productive’ - in healthy ways, and unhealthy ways - since I was about ten. If you don’t fit in, for whatever reason, hobbies - and especially creative or ‘productive’ ones - are a wonderful escape. They make you feel that it’s ok not to have friends; they let you look down on all those other stupid children with all the misplaced arrogance of every single bored, clever pre-teen. When I was twelve, I realised there was no point eating with people that didn’t like me and went to the library instead, because that was ‘dead time’. When I was fourteen, I realised getting the bus was ‘dead time’, and started doing Anki for two hours a day. When I was sixteen, I realised walking was ‘dead time’, and started either listening to podcasts or talking out loud. By the time I was eighteen, I was doing four A-levels in school, an EPQ, teaching myself an extra Latin GCSE, and taught myself the Spanish A-level in 3 months right before the exam. I also worked out for two hours a day - because eating lunch was ‘dead time’, and sleeping was ‘dead time’ - trained martial arts four evenings a week, tutored twice a week, had a part-time job as a waitress, played the flute in a prestigious orchestra, and was 150,000 words deep in the first draft of a very gay, Norse-mythology inspired fantasy novel.

I had it all under control. My marks were excellent; I was a well-rounded person, musical and sporty and already decently on the way to becoming a polyglot, I was training to be a teacher, and I had plans to publish my novel. My home life was painful, but I was painfully independent with what I now like to call the ‘Elsa complex’. Or, actually, like Zuko: I could look after myself, by myself. It was all under control.

I guess everyone can see where this is going. School ended, and with it came endless, open days. I fell apart.

With endless surprise, I can now say that, four years later, I think I’ve come through the worst of it. I still have tendencies to get obsessive, but my anxiety and perfectionism are a lot better, I don’t dissociate, and I have - gasp! shock! - actual interest in life again. I never wrote that novel, but I’m still gay and still love Norse mythology, so I’m slowly finding my way towards writing again. What people don’t tell you about getting better, though, is that trying to define yourself, trying to find yourself, as a person who exists without mental illness, is very, very hard. Many of the things that you used to identify as core components of your personality or important values may have changed, and you may be hesitant about trying to take up hobbies that you used to enjoy because you recognise - and rightly so - that the incessant drive to be doing something, all the time, didn’t necessarily come from anywhere healthy. That those things which you clung to and which protected you may actually have ended up harming you in the end. A lot of figuring out old patterns of unhelpful thoughts involves realising that the things that you defended or framed as helping - weren’t. That’s a hard thought, especially because those mechanisms developed to try and protect you, one that’s immeasurably sad.

Seperating your reasons for doing something obsessively and your love of it in the first place, before it became unhealthy, is difficult. And it means that when you feel - finally, finally - ready to start tackling something like language learning again, you end up sorting of approaching it sideways, shiftily, as if you’re hoping to trick yourself into it. It’s a delicate thing, like a baby bird, and it’s dangerous too, because if you do everything which you did before - the only thing you know how to do - it’s not going to work. And every time it fails is personal, because being able to do it again represents getting better, and reclaiming parts of your identity mental illness stole, and it hurts.

I’m writing this post because somebody asked me about my approach to creating a successful language learning routine. And I do have a lot of thoughts - but I wanted to preface that post with this one, to say:

If you are reading this to be more productive, if it is becoming obsessive, if you want to fit the most possible language learning into the tightest schedule possible, STOP. Take care of yourself. These tips for ‘productivity’ are for people who want to learn a little bit more about organising their time, and are in the right space to add more learning to their life. If you are only defined by what many hours you get done a day, if that’s what motivates you, these tips are not for you. Look after yourself.

And on that note, here’s a confession: I don’t have - have never had - a successful language learning routine. Because of what happened, the only way I can keep going and prevent myself from falling into bad habits is if I approach it sideways, if I pretend I’m not taking it seriously, because I know if I don’t things will go wrong. But I want to be honest and upfront because I know a lot of people read my posts for advice and say that this doesn’t work for me. It might not work for you either. I especially know there are a lot of conceptions of successful langblrs with 7, 8, 9 etc languages in the title - that that we spend 5 hours a day on Anki, fall asleep to Glossika, and so on. And it’s especially important to mention now, because I feel like my language learning habits have only started being healthy in the last year or so - essentially since I started actually enjoying Chinese media. I could teach you how to cram every spare second with language learning, or how to successfully pass an A-level in 3 months with no teachers. I was good (and arrogant, and cocky, and needed bringing down a peg or two). But I won’t.

What I do have are succesful language learning habits. Apart from being a generally more flexible appraoch for all learners, the advantage of building successful habits over a fixed routine is that it allows for learning according to different in energy levels, how busy you are, what you find difficult and what else is going on in your life. Most crucially for me is that it is always a much healthier approach, because what I do is not based on number of hours, or number of units a week, or anything quantifiable that allows me to get obsessive again or frustrated that I’m not doing enough.

Routine is important, especially when it comes to routinising daily tasks. The only thing I have is that sometimes - on good weeks, and once or twice even shockingly on good months - I have a decent Anki streak going. That’s it. I don’t listen every day - I don’t read every day - I certainly don’t do grammar every day. There’s nothing specific I do every day, though I usually rack up a good few hours of immersion or study - to be honest, I fail at Anki probably at least 60% of the time. Everything else - all these tips I have written about - I do as and when. Framing it in such vague terms makes it sound like I must have an extraordinary amount of motivation to keep going, that maybe I’m just lucky to be interested etc, but that’s really not the case. What I have done to keep learning regularly and somewhat successfully (I hope!!) without limiting myself to a routine which I know I will starting obsessing over is tying specific language learning behaviour to certain moods or levels of concentration.

All routine is just habit. Habit, with a ribbon and packaged nicely. But allowing yourself to adapt your learning to the circumstances gives you more flexibility than any strict routine, and is more sustainable in the long term. What building habits rather than a specific routine does is allow you to learn what works best when, what works when you’re tired, and what is best to do when you have energy, or when you want to watch a show, or talk to people. It puts you at the centre of your language learning, rather than framing language learning as a central part of you.

So how can we build healthy habits? How can we utilise ‘dead time’ whilst keeping it light, and fun? How can we adapt our language learning for times when we are tired, and stressed? Or what about when we don’t have time to give 100% of our attention or concentration? How can we identify our own strengths, our own weaknesses, and unite these with our personal goals to figure out what to prioritise in active studying, and what to do when we don’t have the energy for that?

I’ll give my thoughts on all of these over the next couple of weeks, in what I hope will be a comprehensive overview of how best to practice, addressing everything from how to practice speaking to how to start as a complete beginner. If you have any thoughts or interim questions, or if you’d like to add your own experience to anything I have said, please feel free to!

In the mean time -

chenxi out.

#chinese #learning chinese #langblr #depression #anxiety #perfectionism #obsessiveness #mental health #recovery #I actually wrote the next post about building habits first #but it didn't feel right because personally I don't reeeeeeally have a successful routine #and giving advice about that - though I do have a lot of ideas - without acknowledging that seems hypocritical at best and unhelpful at wors #I'm lucky enough at the moment that chinese is my **special interest**#so I just sort of...do it without organising it and without much external motivation #but then again my way of learning is also a complete mess #I just look up words in things I'm reading and add them to Anki and learn them SOMETIMES #there's no structure #I really admire people who can sit down with a textbook and do a certain number of things per week #THAT is how you're going to proceed #I write so much about what I'm going to do and my plans and never ever do them #could it BE that I have adhd? who would have guessed #so many promises and I never do them AHHHHHH #anyway #actuallyadhd #excuse the personal Dramatic Backstory as ever but I feel it's important to give my own perspective and humanise the blog a bit #don't do what I do folks lmao

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thesassenachswiftie · 4 years ago

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Chapter 1: “The Man”

Read on AO3

Summary:

Claire's reputation (and life as she knows it) is ruined after breaking up with Frank. She continues to see Jamie in secret but is it too good to last? Based on Taylor Swift's album "Lover" each chapter will tie in to a song and have lyrics woven throughout. I do not own these lyrics, nor do I own any incidental Diana Gabaldon quotes that may also appear throughout.

Notes:

This is the first fic I've written in probably 15 years! Thank you to those of you that have already shown support and encouragement before I've even begun. Earlier this summer I was listening to "Lover" at a time when I was indulging in quite a bit of fanfiction and rewatching Outlander. I couldn't help but imagine Jamie and Claire blisfully in love in New York city while listening to the lyrics. Thus, the idea for this fic was born. Later, when I was listening to Reputation, I realized many of those lyrics could also work for this story. I ended up mapping out chapters for both Reputation and Lover, so there will eventually be a prequel to this story! I will try to give enough exposition in the actual story that you do not need to read Reputation first (especially since you can't because it doesn't exist yet) but may occasionally give some background information in the notes if I can't weave it into the story.

That being said, Claire and Frank had a pretty tumultous break up at the end of Reputation, and Claire went running straight to Jamie's arms. She's still hurting and has a lot of pieces to pick up, as well as figuring out what her priorties are.

Chapter 1 is a short little chapter featuring Claire and her nonbinary best friend, Jo Abernathy (they/them) discussing the situation over coffee. I will be the first to admit I struggle with pronouns in writing. I blame a long history of learning subject/verb agreement that did not include a singular they throughout my schooling. Please forgive me and feel free to point out if I have made a mistake in this area. This fic is a great opprotunity for me to practice and get better.

Chapter 1: The Man

Frank had taken everything from her and reaped none of the consequences. The stack of rejection letters on the counter was staring at her out of the corner of her eye, sprawled on top of a trashy tabloid featuring headlines about some supermodel with Leo in Saint-Tropez. She could feel the letters taunting her. She could feel him taunting her. How was it possible that every residency program in New York had rejected her? She knew Frank was a powerful man, but damn. Frank Randall was not a man you wanted to cross.

Graduation was three days away. Claire should have been celebrating; all her final exams were finished, papers turned in, and there was nothing left to do but reflect on what a waste it all was. She needed a distraction. She considered texting Jamie, but he was probably helping on his family farm--it was almost impossible to get a hold of him on weekdays. She decided to text Jo instead: “coffee?”

“Always. I can meet you in about a half hour”

“See you there”

Jo Abernathy was Claire’s best friend and former roommate. Luckily, they had both ended up living on Long Island. Jo had gotten a job teaching Social Studies there before they even finished their master’s degree and lived in a funky little apartment above a bar in Northport Village. Claire was still “living the suburban dream” in the house her and Frank had bought together--the only thing he hadn’t taken from her. It was a bland, spacious, new build with perfect everything--it was a perfect nightmare is what it was. The walls were still unpainted, stark white, and cold. Most of the rooms weren’t furnished yet and the ones that were were lacking in decor. She wasn’t planning on moving out until she decided on a residency program, but that wasn’t an option anymore and she didn’t know what to do. What did he have to gain keeping her trapped in this prison when he wanted nothing to do with her? What was his end game? Did he really get such a thrill out of torturing her? Fucking sadist. Of course Frank was suffering exactly none of the fallout from the demise of their relationship. If anything, it garnered him sympathy and gave everyone an excuse to see him as human and love him all the more for it. When everyone believes you, what’s that like? She shook her head, questioning how much of this she deserved for what she did. Claire grabbed her keys and headed out to meet Jo.

Jo was already seated with two lattes in front of them when Claire arrived at their favorite coffee shop, The Cozy Teacup. An expert at reading Claire’s glass face, they immediately asked “Ok, who do I need to stab?” upon her arrival.

Claire couldn’t help but smirk at her dearest friend’s overprotective attitude. “I think you already know. I got my last rejection letter today”, her throat catching on the second sentence. She couldn’t continue any further. Luckily, Jo had a tendency to like the sound of their own voice and all but interrupted her.

“Oh Lady Jane, I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that at all. Urgh, that asshole! That prick! That… man.” Claire was glad the coffee shop was crowded at this lunch hour and no one seemed to notice her friend’s enthusiastic rant. "Why are men? You know, I think this is part of the reason why I’m nonbinary. I mean I don’t fully identify as a woman, but I definitely can’t identify as a man. Men are trash. The goddamn patriarchy. I swear. You know. Frank or not, not one of those school’s would’ve rejected you if you were a man.”

This was exactly what Claire needed from her friend, a pep-talk-slash-rant against the patriarchy. She loved it when Jo got fired up; it was honestly inspiring how they could always live their truth regardless of what everyone else thought. So unlike herself, whose life was constantly dictated by what everyone else thought of her. Jo made a compelling point too-- if I were a man they’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to, and that would be ok--every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss. Jo’s inspiring speech was turning Claire’s sense of dejection into righteous anger directed not only at Frank, but the patriarchy as a whole.

“Yeah! I’m so sick of running as fast as I can wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man!” she declared. Gosh Jo was a good hype-man, hype-person, she mentally corrected herself. She had learned a lot about preferred pronouns in the years of knowing Jo, but she still got tripped up on certain colloquialisms--luckily Jo was always gracious even when she made these mistakes out loud.

“Claire, if you were a man you’d be the man, and as it stands you are the woman, woah, man!”

Claire couldn’t help but giggle at her friend’s manner of speaking. They were always a little much, and usually it was just what Claire needed when she was down. Their knack for pointing to the larger societal issues at play helped her to keep grounded and to realize that she was not at fault. This particular case wasn’t dismissed so easily though; the shame she felt still gnawed at something deep within her. Even if it was the patriarchy’s fault, it was her fault too.

“This is really bothering you, huh LJ?” Claire nodded sheepishly. Damn my glass face. “I’m so sick of him coming at me again.”

“It’s ok to be mad,” Jo affirmed, reaching over to stroke Claire’s forearm in an attempt to bring some comfort. “So, what are we going to do about it? Let’s brainstorm the next move. What is it you really want, Claire?”

Over the next hour and a half, Jo helped Claire untangle what she really wanted: to prove everyone wrong. For everyone to say she’d hustled and put in the work. This was decided amid quips from Jo about how easy it was for men to get these things: “They’re painting you out to be bad--for men it’s all good if you're bad”, “If you were out flashing your dollars you’d be a bitch not a baller.” They determined that Claire would spend the next year padding her resume, not only working her job as a school nurse, but volunteering in hospitals and clinics as well as any other community service projects that came her way. When the time came, she would apply to all the best residency programs in the country. Without Frank tying her down in New York, she could go anywhere. She tried to push out the little voice in her head that kept whispering, ‘What about Jamie?’ as she dreamed about being a strong, independent woman at the top of her game. Not one half of a power couple--just Claire: complex, cool, fearless Claire full of good ideas and power moves. They would toast to her successes, not the rock on her finger. She knew she could do it. Frank may have placed success just out of her reach, but she knew where to get a step ladder.

#outlander fanfic #outlander fic #outlander #jamie x claire #claire beauchamp #lover #inspired by taylor swift #modern au

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myhockeyworld87 · 5 years ago

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Nervous Regrets - Part 7

Requested: No

Word Count: 4566

POV: Tyler

Waring: Cursing I think I at least use one swear word every part.

Notes: Pretty fluffy, but I like it. Got a little long.

With one last flourishing swish of your hand it would be done, well not completely done; they still needed to accept your offer, but the realtor assured you they would. Now you just needed (Y/N) to come inside for her part of this venture. She’d been strolling outside around the pool for the last several minutes, hopefully not regretting that kiss you just shared; you could still taste her on your lips. It had been sweet and unexpected. The fact that you wanted it to happen again, was in the forefront of your mind; even as you signed papers for a multi-million-dollar home.

Striding through the french doors, came the woman of your dreams, finally stepping back inside your dream home; munching on one of her protein bars. Skeptically you looked at her, “Is that mine?”

Mouth full, her answered garbled, “ummm…no.” Her cheeks blushed a delightful shade of pink, giving herself away. Reaching over, snaking your hand around hers, you brought the snack to your mouth; taking a huge chunk out of the bar.

She narrowed her eyes at you, while snatching her hand back at the same time. “What? Don’t try and fool me I know that one was mine. Here I need you to sign this?”

Settling the papers for the house in front of her, you handed her the pen. “Why do I need to sign?”

“Because the house is in your name as well, dummy. It’s just for the bid we are putting in, but then the deed and all the rest of the papers will be in both our names as well.”

Tugging on your arm, she pulled you aside; out of ear shot of the realtor. “Tyler, you shouldn’t be putting this in my name. This is your money, your house. It’s not a smart business move.”

“You’re wrong babe. It’s our house and the deed is going to reflect that. It’s a done deal, just move your sweet little ass over there and sign your name, or else I’ll eat the rest of that protein bar.” It was an empty threat; if not utterly ridiculous. That it had her moving over to the table and signing the paper, had you patting yourself on the back. “Alright, let’s go get some real food now.” With some last words to the realtor; the two of you left the house.

Thankfully at this time of night the crowd had thinned out at the restaurant; though you still asked to be seated in the back, so it could just be the two of you. Well three really. “God, I’m starving. I think I could order one of everything off this menu.”

“Taking this whole mom thing seriously, aren’t ya babe,” there was a teasing tone in your voice; hers and the baby’s health weighed heavily on you. You knew the first few months of the pregnancy hadn’t been ideal, because of your stupidity; but now their well-being was your main concern.

“You have no idea. I ate a whole pint of ice cream, watching the game the other night.”

Blinking, not sure if you heard her correctly; you digested the information that she was now back to watching you play. It was one step closer to getting her back into the arena, but more importantly back into your bed. “A pint babe, really that’s not a lot. No wonder you ate half of my protein bar.”

“Ugh…you and that damn bar. Next time I’m packing more, they’re small.” The waiter came by then, you two placing your orders; hers really not changing for the last time you two had been here months ago, even though she insisted she was famished. “Don’t be mad or anything. But I’m not sure I’m ready to just move back in or anything with you yet. I mean, I know we wouldn’t be getting the house for a bit, but I’m not one hundred percent sure I’ll be ready when it’s ready.”

You couldn’t mask your disappointment, and were sure there was a touch of sadness in your voice, “I understand. No pressure. Whenever you’re ready.”

She looked at you, surprise written all over her face. “Really? No argument?”

“I’m not gonna lie hun. I wish you’d tell me you were ready to move back right now, but I can wait. We’ll just take baby steps,” laughing at the pun you’d just made. “But really, as long as it’s not a forever thing, I can wait. The dogs on the other hand; they might not like that idea so much.”

Bringing the boys in was a low move, you knew she had a soft spot for them; loved them as much as you did. That she hadn’t seen them all this time, was probably eating her alive. “Oh, you don’t play fair. I miss them so much. How are they?”

“Well, Cash and Marshall are still pissed at me over you leaving. And Gerry,” shaking your head you continued. “Gerry keeps digging holes to come find you.” While the picture you painted wasn’t exactly correct, it also wasn’t a lie either. The dogs had sensed something was wrong the minute she walked out the door; whining and crying with you that day. They’d been moping around as much as you had been the last few months. “They’re all really good though. They’ll be excited to see you. You should come over and see them.”

She hesitated briefly before answering, “Yeah, maybe sometime this week I can make it over.”

“Hmmm, we’ve got a road trip coming up, but go over anytime you want. You have the code still.”

“How long are you gone this time,” was your mind playing tricks on you, or was that a touch of sorrow you heard in her voice.

“It’s not too bad this time. I’ll be home late Sunday night.” Thankfully it wasn’t a long trip and then you’d be back in Dallas for at least a week afterward. Though you’d need to come up with a plan for keeping your relationship with (Y/N) on its current course; you wouldn’t have this five day away trip, make her rethink any of the progress the two of you had made.

You could see the wheels turning in her brain, wondered what she was thinking; though you weren’t meant to find out. The food you’d ordered arrived just then; ceasing the current conversation. The two of you ate; speaking of nothing of great consequence. Essentially just catching up with each other’s lives; while falling back into an easy routine. Before you knew it, the check came; signaling the night was almost at an end. Leaving the restaurant, you helped (Y/N) out of her seat; holding her hand as you made your way to the vehicle.

Once again you buckled her in, making sure that both she and your child were safe. The last thing you wanted to do was drive her back to the small little apartment, she currently called home. It wasn’t like it was in a bad area, in fact quite the opposite; it was just, she belonged with you. But that would happen in time, you just needed to be patient. Walking slowly, so you wouldn’t have to leave her any sooner than necessary; you made your way to her door. “Thanks for meeting me tonight. I had a nice time.” Your sixteen year-old-self took control of your body then; for you suddenly felt shy and awkward. Not knowing if you should kiss her good night, or just allow her to walk inside.

(Y/N) took the decision out of your hands, going up slightly on her tip toes to press a quick kiss to your lips. It wasn’t near enough, but you’d settle with it for now. “Goodnight Ty, I’ll see you tomorrow at four.” With that she closed the door; leaving you standing there giddy with how the night had gone.

That the hours ticked by slowly until four o’clock the next day was an understatement. But finally, you found yourself pulling up outside (Y/N)’s office building. That she was standing out there waiting for you, didn’t surprise you in the least; of course, she wouldn’t want anyone to know yet, that the two of you were working on getting back together. “Hey hun, you look amazing.”

“Thanks,” giving you the address to the doctor’s office, so you could punch it in the navigation system. “So, are you ready for this?”

“What’s there to be ready for? You’re the one getting the exam, not me. Besides you said there was no ultrasound today.” Reality was, that you were a tad bit anxious, but only to make sure the baby and (Y/N) were ok; not that you would ever let her know that.

“I don’t know. It’s just a…how do I want to put this. A different environment than a regular doctor’s office.”

You’d seen all those romantic comedy movies with her, to know enough, that there would be a set of stirrups in the office; not to mention that they’d probably be looking at her vagina. Admittedly that would be weird. “I think I’ll be fine.”

Twenty minutes later when you were sitting in the office waiting room; you had to acknowledge you were not fine. While a good percentage of the woman there were pregnant; there weren’t many men with them. Literally you felt like you’d just received a five-minute major for fighting, and now, all eyes were on you, as you made your way to the penalty box. You’d assumed more men went to these things when (Y/N) asked you, but that obviously wasn’t the case. Striving for an air of nonchalance, you picked up a magazine; while (Y/N) filled out the paperwork. Curiosity got the best of you though, when a woman sat her car carrier beside you; inside was the sweetest little newborn, snoozing away. Automatically you asked, “How old is she,” assuming said little one was a girl, since she was wrapped up all in pink.

“She’s six days old today.” The mom answered, as she moved the baby’s blankets down, so you could get a better look.

Funny thing, before you found out (Y/N) was pregnant; you kind of thought all newborns were well….it was sad to say, and ugly was too harsh a word, but they just weren’t cute. Now however, they were the most adorable creatures on this planet; like sweeter than Gerry when he was a puppy, and that was damn adorable. “She’s a heartbreaker, that’s for sure.”

“Thanks, is this yours and your wife’s first?”

“Yes, can you tell,” the fact that you didn’t feel the need, nor did you want to correct her about (Y/N) being your wife; was not lost on you. It actually felt good that someone thought you were a couple; well more than a couple, husband and wife.

“Well to be honest. You look a little nervous, but don’t worry, my husband was a wreck with our first one. With number three here; he’s an old pro. You’ll be fine, just follow your instincts, and just be there for your wife. That’s all she needs.”

Just then the nurse called (Y/N)’s name. “It was nice meeting you. Thanks for the advice. Oh, and congratulations on number three, she’s beautiful.” Letting your hand rest on the small of (Y/N)’s back, you let her lead you into the exam room.

Once encased inside, the nurse started chatting about the appointment. “So, Doctor Harris got called away for a delivery. Hope you don’t mind but you’ll be seeing our PA today.” (Y/N) didn’t seem to have a problem with that; so the nurse continued on. “We need to get your weight, do some measuring, draw some blood and get a urine sample. Then we’ll have the PA come in and check the heartbeat. You two good with that.”

Both of you nodded your approval, considering all you had to do was watch; you were fine with everything. Taking the seat over in the corner, as to not be in the way; the nurse got to work taking (Y/N)’s vitals. Handing over the small plastic cup, the nurse left the room to go find the PA; while (Y/N) went to give the sample. It gave you a chance to better inspect the room. On the wall, hung images labeling all the parts of a woman’s body, as well as depicting a baby inside. There was a small model on the counter of a baby inside the womb as well; as you stepped over to get a closer look, the door flew open, causing you to jump back. “What are you doing? Please tell me you didn’t take that baby out of there.” (Y/N) was shaking her head at you, as she laid the sample down.

“Relax, I was just checking it out.” Truth be told, you were fighting the urge not to touch it right before she came in. (Y/N) took a seat on the exam table; while you resumed your seat in the corner.

The door opened once more, this time a woman who looked to be in her thirties walked in. “Hi (Y/N), not sure if you remember me; I’m Amber, Dr. Harris’ PA. I think I did your ultrasound the last time.” The two exchanged handshakes, (Y/N) smiling, remembering their first encounter. “And you would be,” extending her hand to you.

“Tyler. I’m the dad.”

“Great, to meet you. So glad to see you here supporting mom.” She walked over to (Y/N). “So mind if I check to see how our little one is doing.” (Y/N) raised her shirt revealing her non-existent belly, for the PA to start the exam; pressing here and there, obviously feeling for the baby. After a few minutes she picked up the tablet to review some records. “So, I know you’re not scheduled for an ultrasound today, but I spoke to Dr. Harris before I came in and we’d both like to have one done today.”

“Is something wrong?” it was said in unison, by both you and (Y/N).

“Not that I can tell. Honestly, with you only having a 4 ounce weight gain this whole time; combined with the nurse not really getting a good measuring of your uterus; we’d just like to double check and make sure the baby’s growing at a normal rate. I don’t anticipate anything being wrong.” She started moving things around the room, grabbing a small sheet type thing for (Y/N) to put over her legs. “Dad, why don’t you move closer to mom over here and do me a favor take a deep breath ok. Everything is fine.”

Panic had set in, all the fears you’d had since (Y/N) had told you about the baby; setting in. The voice in the back of your head, beat a steady tattoo of, it’s your fault if anything is wrong. (Y/N) reached over grabbing your hand, hers slightly shaking in the process; that she was just as nervous didn’t make you feel any better. Turning off the lights, the PA spread some warm blueish gel over (Y/N)’s stomach; then started moving the wand back and forth in search of the baby. A swooshing sound hit your ears first, and you looked to the PA to see if this was a good sign. She remained silent, concentrating on locating the baby; and then there is was, this tiny little human being. It was small but yet you could still distinctly make out its head and body, and what possibly looked like a leg; you couldn’t be sure.

“There you are little one. Oh you look good.” She kept up a little conversion, more with the baby than either you or (Y/N). “Ok let me see,” moving the wand one way, and then you heard it; what sounded like a tiny galloping horse. “Ok dad, that’s baby’s heartbeat. Can you hear it?” Amazingly you could, it was fast and constant; a steady rhythm beating over and over again, and it was music to your ears. This was your baby, you and (Y/N) brought this little miracle here, it was overwhelming. All those fears you had, came back, but instead of feeling scared and wanting to run away; you wanted to run towards it. You felt protective the minute (Y/N) had mentioned she was pregnant; but this, this was different. You wanted to wrap them both in a bubble and never let any harm come to them. They were your life, your being, your reason for living; and god you would do anything for both of them.

(Y/N) looked over at you tears streaming down her face; yours mirrored the same. Bringing your joined hands to your lips; you softly kissed her knuckles. Mouthing the words, I love you over to her; that she uttered them back, sent more tears down your eyes.

The PA’s words had you turning your attention back to the screen. “So I’m just going to take a couple measurements, but everything looks great. You two can breathe now.” She would move the wand, then do a few clicks here and there. “Ok so we definitely need a picture. I’ll print a couple for you both. Measurements look great. We need to get you eating a little bit more mom; think you can help us out with that dad?”

Sniffing, you did your best to answer. “umm..Yeah, I’m on it.”

“Good, I have a feeling this little one will be popping out on you any day. So I have you marked at fifteen weeks and 6 days, by the measurement; which coincides with what we had down before. Things look really good though, I’m happy with everything. We’re going to schedule you with another ultrasound the next time as well. We should be able to tell the sex then, baby wasn’t too co-operative today, but hopefully next time, if you’re interested.”

“No, we decided we don’t want to know.” (Y/N) answered for both of you as she wiped the blue goo off her.

“Not a problem, I’ll make a note on your chart. Just let us know if you change your mind.” Wheeling over in the chair, she snapped on the light switch; quickly you swiped at the tears on your face. Handing over a box of tissues to you, the PA proceeded, “So do either of you have any questions for me.”

Making a few more passes with the Kleenex, you asked, “How much weight should (Y/N) be at for next time?” You’d be force feeding her the whole damn box of protein bars, if you had to.

“Well we would’ve liked to see a gain of about two to five pounds this visit. So at the twenty week mark, we’d like to see eight or ten pounds. I’ll be happy if you can get her at the five pound mark. Remember we are looking for health eating options too, not just all junk food. I’ll get a print out for you to take home. What else?”

Your brain was swirling with about a million things; yet there was only one question you needed to know. The problem was how to word it. “Ummm…with (Y/N) finding out late about the pregnancy; and all the stress I put her through. Do we need to be concerned about any problems or complications in the future with the baby? Or is there something special we should be doing?” Guilt had overwhelmed you after (Y/N) told you what she went through. If there was something you could be doing, should be doing you would do it.

The PA came over to you then, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Mom and baby are fine dad, the ultrasound confirmed that. So nothing that happened before today, has harmed the little one. Going forward, just try and keep mom in a stress free environment.” Turning she spoke to (Y/N), “And like we spoke about last time, light exercise is good, no heavy weights or anything; and sex is fine, I see no problem with that for the two of you.” (Y/N)’s eyes widen; but other than that, she gave no signs that the subject of sex was awkward, all things considered. “As you know in the second trimester, you’ll get some strong hormonal urges; and many women get an increase in sexual drive. This is all normal and since I don’t see any problems; you two should be fine. So, anything else?”

Stunned into silence; all you could do was shake your head no. At least you had the doctor’s go ahead to have sex; now all you needed was (Y/N)’s consent. “Well, if there’s nothing else. We’ll see you both in a couple weeks. Feel free to call in if you have any questions or concerns. You guys take care.” With that she left the room, leaving the door open for you two to follow.

Lips opening, you started to say something, only to be cut off. “Don’t, just don’t say it.” (Y/N) was shaking her head, laughing at you.

“What? I was just going to say that it was amazing that we got to see the baby today.” That was not what you were going to say at all; but it definitely was a good cover.

“It was, wasn’t it?” the two of you continued out the door, making the next appointment for four weeks from now. Thankfully, they were able to schedule a time when you had home games, instead of being on the road. Making your way to the car, you reached for (Y/N)’s hand, grasping it in yours never wanting to let go.

As had become your ritual, you buckled her in and headed down the road; the plan being to take her back to the office and then you could head to the arena for the game. Continuing to hold her hand; her thumb started to caress your knuckles. “So, you got a little emotional in there. You ok?”

“Yeah…I mean I am now. I just didn’t think….” Trailing off, not really knowing how to express all the emotions you felt in that moment. “I mean, when I heard the heartbeat, it all just became really real, ya know.”

“I know what you mean.” Looking over at you to draw your attention; since you were at a stop light, “I’m really glad you came with me today, Ty. I can’t imagine going through today alone. Thank you.” The smile she sent you went straight to your groin; you had been the recipient of it numerous times in the past, but hadn’t seen it in months.

Shifting in your seat, you returned it, “No, thank you for letting me be part of it. You really don’t know what it means to me.” The light changed colors, shifting your focus back to the road. “And I’m gonna be there at all the next appointments with you. And every other day if you’ll let me.” Kissing her hand, you hoped she would let you inside her heart just a bit more.

Pulling into the parking garage, you got out walking her over to her car. It was killing you to have to leave her yet again; this woman was your all and so much more. “So, is it too much to ask if you’ll be watching me play tonight;” wanting her to be there to cheer you on, was the ultimate goal; but you knew she wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it.”

It was at least a start. “Promise me you’ll go home and eat, as well.” The mild panic attack you’d received when the doctor asked to do an ultrasound; had you taking your job as (Y/N)’s new personal pregnancy trainer seriously.

“I will Ty, I promise.”

“Ok good.” Standing there, not wanting to go, but knowing you should be leaving for the game; you waited for (Y/N) to say goodbye first. The upcoming road trip meant five days of not seeing her, and had you reluctant to move.

After a few moments, she shifted closer to your body; and drew you near. The small movement was the opening you’d been waiting for; you reached for her waist pulling her close so that no space separated the two of you. Tilting your head, you bent down touching your lips to hers; as her hands snaked around your neck drawing you further in. A moan escaped her mouth, you seized the opportunity to deepen the kiss; she didn’t resist. You had let her have control the last two times you’d kissed; not wanting to scare her with the need and desire you had coursing through your veins, for her. But this time, this time you didn’t hold back; letting your mouth worship her. Another moan had you wanting to lift her onto the hood of the car and sate your lust for her right then, but time was not your friend today; so you slowed your pace, savoring each sweep of your tongue, as you gently ended the kiss. Breathing heavy like you’d just skated twenty laps; you enveloped (Y/N) into your arms. She’d always felt so perfect there, as if she had been made just for you; needing just one more minute before saying goodbye.

Softly, she pushed herself back, not breaking contact completely. “I’ll miss you Ty. Score one for me, would ya?” Eyes, blinking rapidly from the force her words had taken; you stared down at her. She would ask you that every time you left for a game; now those words meant more than just putting points on the board.

“I’ll do my best babe.” Kissing her one last time, before you released her. “I love you. Take care of our little one.” Caressing her stomach, as you reached for her car door.

She slid into the vehicle, and waited while you buckled her in; closing the door you stepped away as she turned the engine on, pulling out of the parking spot. She stopped then, rolling the window down, “I love you Tyler.” It was soft, but it had your heart soaring above the clouds, and before you knew what happened; you were at the window kissing her one last time before she left.

Elated you made your way to the arena; where you had one of your best games. Scoring not only one, but two goals and racking up an assist; easily making you player of the game. The only drawback were all the interviews afterwards; you had already told yourself; you’d be stopping at (Y/N)’s after the game, just needing to see her one last time. Now, after all this media attention, you were hoping she would still be awake. You’d just drive by and if the light was on in her apartment then you’d stop.

Luckily at the late hour, you could drive slow past the complex, without drawing attention to yourself. The first thing you noticed, was that the lights to the apartment were still on; your heart sped faster at thoughts of seeing (Y/N) again. That was until it just plummeted deep into the ocean, like the damn Titanic. For the second thing that caught your eye was (Y/N) wrapped in another man’s embrace. But it was the third that made you want to grab the man and rip him into shreds; as he leaned forward and kissed the woman you loved.

#tyler seguin #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #dallas stars #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars imagines #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction

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taeken-my-heart · 5 years ago

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Independent {f} Chapter 16

Summary: Your mom calls you stubborn, your friends call you wild, and the boys you’ve left in your wake call you a frigid bitch. You’ve built a life of independence and you like it that way. Kim Taehyung, however; seems to be able to change your mind.

Pairing: Taehyung x ReaderGenre: fluff, mild angst

Word Count: 4718

Warnings: Ongoing themes of death. Her father is always mentioned briefly.

TN: This is it, guys. This is the final chapter. It’s all just gooey fluff and I hope you enjoy!

**There is a read more linked but it doesn’t seem to be working and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m sorry! TT

***

“OK, but see, I don’t get it.” You said.

Taehyung sighed, flabbergasted. “It’s not something you have to get, it just is.”

“But why does she talk like that?” You mused, shifting on the couch and Taehyung squeezed your arm gently, pulling you closer to him.

“Y/N, you’re seriously analyzing this way too much; it’s just a movie.” He chuckled.

“Because you told me this movie was deep!” You cried smacking his stomach and he groaned like a drama queen. “Oh, come on, I barely touched you.”

“The movie is deep, but her tone of voice is literally not important to the plot.” He complained, fingers massaging his abdomen.

“You know what’s nice?” Jimin called from his spot in the bean bag on the floor and the two of you stopped your bickering to look over at him. “Being able to watch a movie and actually hear it. I wonder what that’s like.”

“Bite me, Jimin.” You chuckled and he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Hey!” Taehyung scolded, throwing a pillow at his friend’s laughing face. “Stop flirting with my girlfriend!”

“He can’t help it,” you laughed, “my sass is like a siren’s call. You should know this, of all people.”

“Yeah, but it’s my sass.” Taehyung pouted, pulling his arm from your shoulder and linking his fingers with yours.

“So, uh…are we still watching the movie?” Jungkook called from his spot, sprawled on his stomach on the floor. “Or are you guys just going to continue being gross?”

***

Your house was empty when Taehyung dropped you off and he followed you in, kicking off his shoes and coming up behind you to kiss your cheek. “Where is everyone?” He asked.

You walked towards the kitchen, dropping your bag off on the table and reaching for a glass. “Sarah and Charlotte are out watching a movie and Anna is out on a date with her boyfriend. You want a drink of water?”

Taehyung smirked, shaking his head no and you filled your own cup, taking a generous gulp. “So, we’re alone? How interesting.”

“Is it?” You mumbled around the rim of your cup, watching as he stalked his way over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and dropping a kiss to your shoulder.

“I think so,” he smiled, looking down at you. “I’m curious, though, what’s something we could do while we’ve got the house all to ourselves and how long do we have?”

“I don’t know what you’re alluding to.” You lied, grinning as you turned your back to him, finishing your water and putting the cup in the sink.

“I think you do,” he whispered, kissing the side of your neck up to your cheek as he curled his arms tighter around you.

“Tae.” You said and he hummed against your collar bone. “Have you started packing?”

The tip of his hair dusted the side of your cheek as he shook his head no. “We’ve still got a week before the semester is over,” he murmured, kissing against your jaw and your eyes fluttered closed.

“Yeah, but you have a lot of stuff.” You said, turning in his embrace and he pouted.

“Baby, I don’t want to talk about packing right now, can you just kiss me back?”

“Kissing leads to trouble.” You reminded, linking your arms around his neck and he smiled.

“But it’s fun trouble.” He wiggled his eyebrows and you laughed.

“You think you can be done in 15 minutes?”

He frowned down at you, “Is that even a question? Give me 10.”

“That’s not something to brag about.” You giggled as he hoisted you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist.

The hallway to the bedroom was cramped and you bumped your knees against the wall a few times before finally making your way up and around the corner, kicking the door to your bedroom closed behind you.

***

Most of your classes had concluded by now, but you still had a few final exams so you spent the majority of your days packing, studying, or just lying in bed until the early afternoon out of sheer boredom.

Taehyung had classes until almost the last day of the semester so you didn’t get to spend as much time with him as you wanted. At least you had the evenings. You also reminded yourself that he was coming home with you for a month so it was unreasonable to be so greedy with his time when you’d very shortly have all of it to yourself.

After Taehyung and you had decided to start over, it was like a switch had been flipped. Everything just fell into place so easily and for the first few weeks you lived in constant fear that it was going too well; it was too easy.

It just kept getting better, though. Sure, there were definitely times when you’d fight. Like that time Tae had insisted that tying your shoes with two bunny ears before even making a line across was the correct way stuck out in your mind.

He was super wrong, but the way his eyes widened and he began to talk wildly in pout was really cute. Or the time that he insisted on buying those hideous knockoff fur lined Gucci slippers. You’d definitely threatened to burn them a couple times and he’d definitely nearly cried each time.

Charlotte looked at the two of you like you were losing your mind and Anna just smiled, swooning about young love. It was gross and weird and strangely domestic. You actually didn’t really mind it.

You also learned pretty quickly that he was kind of a slob. The first time you saw his bedroom, only a month ago, was a bit of a shock. To describe it as a war zone was, honestly, too kind.

He told you everything had its place, but you weren’t really sure why he thought his favorite pair of jeans belonged tucked behind the front right leg of his single bed. That didn’t seem like much of a “place” in your opinion, but you quickly got over the idea of trying to figure him out.

He was an odd ball and you loved it. You hadn’t said the L word yet, because it was still a bit soon, but honestly, you already felt it. You weren’t sure there was even a “right time” to say that word, but two months seemed…fast. You really wanted things to go right with him, you wanted to do your best so that if things with him ever did end, you could say it wasn’t from lack of trying.

You were both trying and really hard, too. The thing about dating and relationships is that people romanticized them and they were so different from what you’d expected. It was a lot of sacrifice and compromise, thinking about his needs before your own. That made it damn hard sometimes because honestly, there were times that you just really wanted to watch a freaking episode of The Bachelorette and he wanted to watch Avatar…the non-animated version.

But you loved him and you’d watch Avatar every day if it meant he was happy. Well, maybe not every day, but the sentiment was there. Choose your love and love your choice; that was your new motto.

The you from a year ago would faint if she could see you now. You smiled at the idea, taping the top of a box of clothes and knick knacks until it felt secure. You could hear Anna out in the kitchen humming, likely deep cleaning the counters. The end of the semester meant white glove…which meant your own personal living hell. A time when the school (or whoever owned the complex people were living in) came to check your apartment to see if it was appropriately clean for the occupants of the next semester.

Because you wouldn’t be coming back until next winter, you also wouldn’t be keeping the house, so packing and cleaning was your life right now.

“Y/N!” Anna’s shout was muffled and you made your way out into the kitchen to see what she needed.

“What’s up?” You asked, eyeing her standing beside the stove.

“I need you to help me pull the stove out so I can sweep behind it.” She smiled, tapping her fingers against the surface.

“Yeah, that’s a hard pass from me.” You said, “last time I helped you move that thing there was a mouse behind it. Nearly crapped my pants.”

Anna laughed from the memory, clutching the broom in her hand a little tighter as she bent at the waist with her giggles. “That was hilarious. Don’t worry, though, I got on the counters and checked behind before I asked you. It’s mouse free!”

“Is it sad to say I don’t trust you?” You mused and Anna scowled.

“Y/n.” She scolded lowly, “I know where you sleep.”

“Fine!” You griped, moving towards the stove to help her shuffle it away from the wall and towards the center of the kitchen.

“You excited for the break?” she asked once the stove was out of her way and she could begin sweeping.

“Yeah,” you shrugged, “it’ll be nice to take a break from studying, my brain is pretty fried.”

“I feel that.” Anna nodded soundly. “You nervous to take Taehyung home? This is the first time your family is meeting him, right?”

“Yeah,” you frowned, picking at the worn wood of the top of one of the kitchen chairs. “Do you think it’s too soon?”

She paused in her perusal of the area just behind the fridge to look over at you, brows furrowed in thought. “Honestly, it’s all pretty individual. For some people, it’s too soon, and for others it’s not. You’ve never introduced a guy to your family before which means a lot. You don’t take that sort of thing lightly so I think whenever you chose to do it, it would be right.”

“Thanks, Anna.” You smiled, “it means a lot.”

“Of course, you’ve got this and you know it. Your family is going to love Taehyung and he’s going to love them.”

“That’s exactly what I needed to hear.” You grinned, walking over and giving her a hug, “you’re the best.”

“I do hear that around.” Anna nodded solemnly, hugging you back and you chuckled.

“Anyway, I’ve got a final in about an hour so I’m gonna get ready and when I get back, I’ll start cleaning the bathroom.”

“Sounds good.” Anna said, turning back to her sweeping.

***

Whenever a semester ended, it was usually pretty bittersweet. Happy to be done with classes and tests, but sad to put the memories to bed. Leaving this semester was much better than last, though, and you smiled fondly, watching Taehyung pulling a bag over his shoulder and dragging his suitcase behind him, feet shuffling awkwardly.

“I’m nervous,” he said, coming to stand beside you at the bus stop and you wrapped your arms around his waist, kissing his chin to distract him.

He looked down at you, smile soft. “There’s nothing to be nervous about.” You said, squeezing his waist firmly. “My family is going to love you; seriously.”

“But what if they don’t?” He pouted and you sighed; melancholy.

“Then I guess I’ll have to ship you off.” You giggled at his squawk of protest. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure it’s somewhere nice. You like the beach, right?”

“You’re mean.” He whined and you chuckled, reaching up to pull his chin down towards you, kissing him firmly and he returned the kiss with eager enthusiasm. Mouth humid and skin flush with humidity, you stuck to each other in the late spring weather but you’d never been more thrilled to be uncomfortably warm with someone. “OK,” he mumbled against your mouth, “I forgive you.”

The sound of the bus rumbling around the corner had you pulling away with a grin, patting his bum for good measure and then pulling your own bag over your shoulder. “I knew you would.”

The bus was warm, leaving you feeling sticky around the edges and you pulled open the window beside your seat to let in the breeze. The weather wasn’t quite hot enough to merit air conditioning yet, but on a bus this full of students (some of whom had not figured out how to use a shower) they probably should have turned it on.

“It’s an hour ride, right?” Taehyung asked, pushing his suitcase into the shelving over your seats and his bag under the seat in front of him.

“Yeah, and I’m daydreaming about using your shoulder as a pillow for naptime. What say you?”

Taehyung sat down beside you, fiddling with the seatbelt as he clipped it over his waist. “Sure. You know how boney it is. Sleep at your own peril.”

“You gonna listen to music?” You asked, leaning your head against his shoulder and peering up at him. He nodded, pulling out his earbuds and you kissed his cheek quickly before closing your eyes and trying to make yourself comfortable enough to nod off.

You didn’t really sleep well in tight spaces and Taehyung’s shoulder was uncomfortably boney, but you managed to get about 20 minutes of rest before giving up and taking the other earbud he offered to you, focusing on his music. The sun had reached its highest point when the bus pulled into the station and you glanced out the window, fogged from the humidity inside and you could see your family waiting for you at a huddle of benches off to the left.

“There they are.” You smiled and Taehyung glanced out the window.

He swallowed, groaning, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

You laughed, swatting at his arm and ushering him to stand. “You’ll be fine.” You insisted. “Don’t worry, I’ll hold your hand and guide you through everything.”

Stepping off the bus, you took a deep breath, the cool air in the station refreshing on your heat drenched skin. The bus driver pulled your suitcases from under the bus for you as Taehyung walked to your side, lumbering awkwardly with the weight of his own cases behind him.

“Do you trust me?” You asked and he looked down at you, smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.

“Forever.”

“Then we’ve got this. They’ll love you; I swear.”

Your mom’s smiling face was who you noticed first; hands clasped under her chin in excitement. She’d been talking about meeting Taehyung for weeks now, so you were pretty sure she was already half way in love with him.

Truthfully, the only one you were a little nervous about was Ben. Paul was a pretty supportive guy and he wasn’t really one to meddle. As long as you were happy, so was he. Ben was overprotective, though. If he wasn’t accepting of Tae, you’d all know it and you really wanted them to like each other.

“There’s my girl!” Your mom called, pulling herself from Paul’s embrace to run over to you, arms outstretched. Wrapping your arms around her waist, you clung tight as she giggled, rocking you back and forth. “Ah, I’m so glad you’re back. This must be Taehyung.”

She stepped back as Taehyung held out his hand and she chuckled, swatting his hand away. “I’m a hugger.” She supplied, giving him a quick hug to which he blushed and smiled.

“Taehyung, this is my mom, this is Paul, and this is my brother Ben.” You pointed to each member of your family as he shook hands with the other two, fingers from his other hand laced tightly between your own.

“Nice to meet you.” He said, and if he hadn’t told you he was nervous beforehand, you never would have guessed it now. He was the picture of confidence.

“Nice to meet you, man.” Ben smiled, clapping him on the back. “My sister’s told me a lot about you.”

“Really?” He grinned, looking down at you and you faked a glare for his amusement.

The five of you began to walk towards the car, Paul and Ben grabbing your bags as the three men began to chat away. “He’s cute.” Your mom whispered, linking her arm with yours.

You turned to smile at her, nodding. “I agree.”

“I’m so glad you came home for the break.” She continued, “we’ve missed you a lot these last few months.”

“I mean…not to be captain obvious, but I am only an hour away. You could always drive down if you really missed me.” You sang and your mom pinched your side with a laugh.

“Hey now, none of your sass missy. I’m really glad that you could come back and that you could bring Taehyung with you! We’ve all been so excited to meet him!”

“Really?” You asked, eyebrow raised, “even Paul and Ben?”

“Oh yeah. Honey, you haven’t mentioned even having a crush on anyone since you were a little girl. We were really excited to meet the man you talk so highly of.”

“He is pretty wonderful.” You smiled, watching as he walked side by side with your brother, laughing at something the former had to say.

After some serious maneuvering of your suitcases in the trunk of the car (and one on the roof, because honestly, you didn’t know how to pack lightly) you’d all piled into the car, you the unfortunate soul crammed in between Tae and Ben in the back seat.

“Y/N, you didn’t tell me your boyfriend was famous.” Ben complained and you huffed, looking at him bemused.

“Because he’s not famous, you weirdo.” You chuckled.

Ben scoffed, “He signed with TTIG, that’s as good as it gets. He practically is famous already.”

Taehyung laughed, blush high on his cheeks, “Ah, we’ll see once I start really auditioning for gigs. Right now, I’m just another body in their crew.”

“I highly doubt that,” Your mother said from the front seat, turning to face the three of you in the back. “We saw some of the videos the school put up online. You’re a very talented young man.”

“Thank you very much!” Taehyung smiled, “I don’t deserve all this praise, but I’m definitely gonna take it.”

Your mom laughed, turning back to face the front. “Good.”

***

Once you’d reached home, your family helped you to bring your suitcases into your room and helped Taehyung bring his to Ben’s old bedroom. You had the feeling that most nights the two of you would be sharing a bed, but it was nice to know you each had your own little space if you needed alone time.

“What do you think?” You asked, entering Ben’s old bedroom as Taehyung stood beside the dresser, unpacking some of his things.

He turned to look at you, dark hair skimming across his eyelashes. He’d let his hair grow out the last few months and he looked a bit shaggy, but warm. He smiled at you, big and bright and you walked to his side, wrapping your arms around him.

“What do I think of what? The room?”

You nodded into his shoulder and he peered around the room, taking in the dark colors and warm patterns. “It’s nice.” He confirmed, turning to look back down at you.

“And how do you feel?” you asked, blinking up at him.

“I’m still a little nervous,” he admitted, “but less than before. Your family is really nice and welcoming.”

“I told you there was nothing to worry about.” You grinned, smacking his butt and walking back towards the bed to sit down.

“You did.” He nodded, placing a folded shirt into the top drawer of the dresser before coming to stand in front of you. “Thank you for inviting me.”

You lifted your hands to his, linking your fingers and wiggling your hands in front of you idly. “We’ve still got a whole month to go, you sound like you’re all ready to say goodbye and jet back off to California.”

Taehyung chuckled, pushing you back onto the mattress and coming to lay beside you, leg hitched over your hip to pull you closer to him. “Don’t pout, that’s not what I was saying.” He grinned, “I’m just really glad I could be here to meet everyone. Your family is really important to you and I feel really lucky that you wanted them to know me too.”

“You should feel lucky.” You nodded and Taehyung laughed, smacking your thigh as punishment.

“Stop being so obnoxious.” He scolded and you smirked, running your fingers through his hair.

“You’re so hot when you’re annoyed.” You complained and he grinned, pinching your hip.

“Stop changing the subject!”

You pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You whispered.

“Me too.” He sighed, nudging his nose against yours as he kissed you again; needier.

“Don’t get carried away,” you murmured against his tongue and he whined. “My family is all still downstairs and they will definitely hear us.”

He sighed, kissing wet into the juncture of your neck and shoulder. “Fine, but I’m gonna be without you for two months after this, I’ll need some memories to keep me company while I’m gone.”

“You’ve always got your hand.” You teased, sitting up and he glared up at you, hand ruffling through his hair.

“You’re actually so mean.”

“This is true.” You nodded solemnly as you helped him to stand. “Don’t worry, you big baby, there will be plenty of opportunities while you’re here. You’ll see.”

“I’m looking forward to them.” He grinned.

***

You were right when you suspected that you’d end up sharing a bed. Taehyung slept in your bed most nights, cuddled up around you like a koala. Because of this, you now slept with no blanket on because his body heat was enough to melt the polar ice caps.

You were also right about your mom practically being in love with him. She spoiled him with food and became his own personal chauffer and you couldn’t even think of the last time she’d doted on you like this. Even Paul and Ben loved him.

“I’m pretty sure you’re trying to fatten him up so he can’t leave.” You complained at dinner as your mom piled his plate high with food.

“Oh stop,” she chuckled, waving the serving spoon at you, “I just want to make sure he’s well fed.”

“Yeah, well, the little pooch he’s developing around his midsection is an indication of how well fed he actually is.”

Taehyung grinned at you, face stuffed full of dumpling like the doughboy he was. Wiggling his eyebrows at you, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, kissing your cheek. “You like me chubby.” He remarked.

“That’s true.” You admitted, poking his little tummy. “You’re just so soft!”

“Hey, Ben’s coming over after dinner.” Your mom said after she’d sat back in her own seat, newly opened soda in hand. “We should watch a movie or something.”

“OK, but not Princess Bride again, we can’t watch that every night!” You complained and Paul laughed.

“We have watched that a bit too much!” He nodded, rubbing your mom’s arm.

“No such thing!” She quipped, “that movie is a classic and it’s got everything you could ever want in a movie. But fine, we’ll watch something else.”

“Are we having dessert?” You asked, grinning at your mom and she rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her drink.

“Of course, we are. I’m no chump.”

***

After dinner (and after Taehyung had sufficiently stuffed himself and likely put on a few more pounds) you helped your mom clean up before heading to the living room to set up for a movie.

You could hear Ben in the hallway, making his way in from the front door and he barreled into the living room and over to your boyfriend with a loud and friendly hello before turning to you and ruffling your hair.

“Hey Tuck.” He grinned down at your scowling face as you attempted to fix the mess he’d made of your hairdo.

“I’ll actually kill you.” You muttered.

Taehyung and Ben made their way over to the couch to talk as you grabbed the remote to flip through the movie options on Netflix. You could hear your mom and Paul talking in the kitchen as they finished putting away the last of the dishes and you smiled.

This was such a good night. There was literally nothing extraordinary about it, but it was still special. Your family around you, getting to know your boyfriend and everyone was happy. You really couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.

You made your way to the couch, curling under Taehyung’s arm as he continued chatting with Ben. The only thing that could have made it better would have been having your dad around. He would have really liked Taehyung and that settled the ache in your heart at the thought of him.

Someday you wanted to take Tae to your father’s grave and introduce them. You weren’t sure if he’d be interested in that sort of thing or if it would feel too morbid for him, but you hoped that he would understand how important that was for you.

For now, though, things were perfect as they were. Your mom and Paul made their way into the living room, everyone turning to the subject of what movie to watch and bickering lightly until finally you’d all decided on Home Alone and got comfortable with blankets, popcorn, and your mom’s fudge brownies.

You were of course predictable and about half way through the movie you were out like a light. It would have been embarrassing had you been around anyone else, but everyone in the room already knew you were a hopeless case.

You woke with a start as Taehyung was setting you in your bed and you looked up at him blearily. “I fell asleep huh?”

“Yeah,” he grinned, “It’s OK, though. It’s not like you’ve never seen that movie.”

“True,” you yawned, stretching your arms over your head. “Sleep in here tonight?”

He nodded, helping you to stand as you both went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. After curling back under the blankets and pulling them up to your chin, you stared up at Taehyung as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

His eyes blinked blearily closed as he fought the fatigue of the day and you watched as he shuttered to a close, letting his body sink, exhausted, into the mattress. You couldn’t believe you were so lucky, then again, maybe it wasn’t luck. Meeting each other, sure, maybe that was, but where you were now? That was hard work and love.

Tae?” You whispered.

He shifted slightly; eyes still glued shut. “Mmm?” He hummed, running his fingers up and down your spine.

“I love you.”

His fingers stopped their quiet perusal of your back and he opened his tired eyes to look down at you. “What did you say?” He asked softly.

“I said I love you,” you whispered back. “Thank you for coming with me to meet my family.”

He smiled, pulling you closer to him, kissing you with tingling lips. “Thank you for inviting me. I’m so glad I got to meet your family, they’re really awesome.”

Everything settled for a few moments and you began to wonder self-consciously if he’d even heard your confession. Maybe he had and he just wasn’t ready to say it back. That was OK, even if it did sting a little bit. You were still happy with what you had with him now.

“Oh, and Y/N?”

“Hmm?” You murmured; eyelids heavy.

“I love you too.”

You looked up at him, heart jumping into your throat. “You do?” you whispered. You were afraid if you spoke any louder that the emotion of it all would choke you.

He nodded, running the tip of his nose along yours before kissing you. “I really, really do.” He whispered.

And somehow you knew, not only was he going to be the greatest adventure of your life, but he was going to be it. He was your forever and you were his. You couldn’t have asked for a better new beginning.

This was euphoria.

***

Oh my gosh, it’s over! This story is so precious to me and I’ve spent so long thinking about it and agonizing over it. I can’t believe it’s over. It’s really, really bittersweet to say goodbye to it. I hope you enjoyed this fluff fest chapter and that it made you feel as warm and fuzzy as it made me feel <3

Thank you so much for sticking around and reading this story. It means so much to me!

I love you guys!

Chapter 15

#taehyung scenario #taehyung fluff #taehyung fanfic #taehyung angst #kim taehyung

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hey-im-trash-and-better-than-you · 5 years ago

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advice for new high-school freshmen!

just some stuff I learned since school is starting soon

1. Take advantage of opportunities!!: I had the opportunity to take an AP class freshman year and I’m so glad I did because it helps you get an idea of what the workload is like and you’ll be able to see if you can handle it before you take like a whole schedule full next year and then find out a few weeks in that you’re miserable. If you wanna take online classes for some required classes that you don’t want to take up schedule space with, go for it!

2. YOU DON’T NEED TO DATE!!!: you really don’t. if you need somebody else to feel validated I suggest you go get help. if you want to date, go for it, but if you don’t, don’t feel pressured to. you have your whole life to find love, and most love you find in high school generally won’t last, as well as it being a distraction to more important things. also, don’t make out in the hallways because it’s gross and to that one couple at my school who keeps making out literally on the staircase: I hope you get mononucleosis (but not really but actually stop)

3. If you guys have homecoming or other school dances, don’t be afraid to go alone!: or at least don’t be afraid to go without a date! I went by myself and ended up hanging out with my friends there and I had probably a much better time than my other friends who just had to stay with their date.

4. don't vape. DONT VAPE. D O N T V A P E. DO NOT VAPE!!!: don't vape, don’t Juul, don’t whatever the hell else, don't pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. trust me, you don’t look cool, you honestly look like an asshole, you smell like an artificial fruit factory threw up on you (which does not smell good), and if you get caught you can get in seriously deep shit. It’s also so bad for your health! don't take “healthier than a cigarette” as “this is healthy” It still has nicotine in it which can mess you up. like just because thin crust pizza is probably healthier than a deep-dish pizza, it doesn't mean it’s healthy! same goes with vaping. It’s something for people already addicted to nicotine, and as a freshman, in high school, I hope you are not addicted to nicotine.

5. SLEEP!: don’t even bother pulling all-nighters to study, because you’ll be tired the entire day, and if you don’t sleep, your brain doesn’t have time to process all that info, meaning you’ll literally forget it all by the time you get to the test. I had friends who stayed awake for days straight studying and then ended up getting some of the lowest grades I’ve ever seen. I do agree I’ve pulled all-nighters, but I’ve never felt good afterward and I’ve only done it in really dire situations (like finishing a project that was 20 percent of my exam grade)

6. EAT!: at LEAST twice a day. preferably one of those should be breakfast, but if you can’t get that in, try to eat lunch and dinner. it doesn’t have to be anything huge (i tend to eat small breakfasts (if I eat it at all) and dinners and eat a large lunch) cuz if you don’t you’ll get headaches and you’ll be distracted because you’ll be too focused on the fact that you’re hungry

7. Join a club!: or do a heavily group-oriented class. Band, Orchestra, Choir, Theatre, Debate, whatever. It’s a really good way to meet people. in my orchestra this year I made so many friends that I wouldn't have met otherwise (not to mention they can look really good during college applications a few years down the road)

8. Don’t be an asshole to your teachers. They can control your grade and your experience in their class. don’t get on their bad side. And in the end, if you fail because you weren’t listening or you kept talking in class, don’t blame it on your teachers, because they tried. and in the end, when you realize you’re going to fail, don’t go sucking up to your teachers hoping they’ll help. I was one of 3 people in my algebra class of 23 students who passed the class because we were the only three students who made an effort.

9. I know everyone says to be yourself which you should do, but realize some hobbies have a time and a place. If you’re a furry that's cool whatever but please don’t be that weird guy in my lunch period who kept trying to tell me how much he wanted to fuck Kass from Legend of Zelda. like ok man, whatever you’re into but I'm tryna eat my nachos k.

10. start figuring out a vague idea of what you want to do in the future: you don’t need to decide exactly where you wanna work, where you want to go to college (or if you even want to go to college), what you wanna do, etc. but having an idea will make it easier to plan out your elective classes later on in your high school career.

11. If you do want to go to college, start researching! I don’t care if people tell me I started researching too early, because, in senior year when everyone is stressing out, I’ll already have everything together. Start applying to scholarships! if you happen to be near a college you may be interested in, go take a tour! it’s never too early.

12. Start caring about your grades. seriously. these are the scores colleges will be looking at in the applications process, so sure you could slack off, but good luck getting into your dream college with a 1.5 GPA. Set goals for yourself! for example, the university I want to go to has an honors college that I want to get into and one of the eligibility requirements is that you have to have a 90 or above average, so that’s what I'm going to aim for.

13. tying back into number 8, stay on top of your assignments and participate in class! By turning in your work on time and asking questions and actually participating in class, your teachers will know that you are serious about learning and will actually try to help you when you need it. remember my sucky algebra class? I had an 89 semester average and there was no more work I could do but I really wanted a 90 average, so I just went and asked if he could bump up my grade a point so I’d have a 90, and he said yes! because I actually tried in his class.

14. You will start to have more things to do outside of school, and you will have to learn to handle them. For example, you may have a job, or you may have to go to driving school if you decide to get your drivers permit. School should be your first priority so if you can’t handle some things outside of school, don’t try to. you will get overwhelmed and it will not be good.

15. Lastly, don’t overwhelm yourself. This is just your first year of high school. It’s like the year you are expected to mess up because it’s an entirely new concept! Teachers will be more strict than they were in middle school, but this is also probably the most lenient they’ll be for the rest of your school career. Take this year to feel out the waters and ease your way into it. If you don’t start out with stellar grades it's ok! it’s way better to mess up early on and have all that time later to fix it than to mess up later and be stuck with it.

Good luck in the next 4 years of your life!

#high school #high school advice #advice for students #freshman advice #american public school

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rebelminxy · 6 years ago

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Trust Me

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2998

Summary: The boys come back from a hunt to find the bunker empty and a suspicious woman claiming to help them find a weapon to use against Michael. But there is something about her that draws Sam to her. And he really couldn’t put his finger on what it was. Who is this mysterious woman and why does she know so much about the boys?

A/N: It sucks because of school and exams I missed an episode of Supernatural but thinking about this piece has gotten me through the stress. I know the show has moved on ahead so take this as something that happens when the boys find out Jack is sick. I have been dying to finally put the image in my head on paper, so I hope you guys enjoy this piece and yeah won’t mind some feedback if you can.

MASTERLIST

“Seriously Sam, we needed this win. With the useless Michael hunting and having everyone going out to deal with those things he made, a quick normal werewolf hunt was something we needed.”

“Yeah, Dean you were right. Let’s just call Cass to find out how Jack is doing. We need to find out fast how to save Jack.”

“I know how you can save him.”

Sam and Dean raised their guns towards the voice that came out of the dark library. They moved closer and Dean turned on the lights. Both boys got a glimpse of the intruder. There, at one of the tables, sat a young woman with (H/C) hair pulled back in a ponytail, her leather-clad arms from the black jacket she wore laid out right in front of her on the table. She was looking straight forward without making a move.

“Who the hell are you and how did you get in here?” yelled out Dean, guns still pointed at her.

“My weapons are all on the next table. Got nothing else on me but if you want to do a body search, be my guest.”

The woman slowly raised her arms and turned her body in the chair to face them. As she got up, she slowly moved to stand in front of Dean, separating her legs and keeping her arms up in the air. Dean looked at Sam who nodded, which gave the go for Dean to pat her down. Once he was sure she was clean, he grabbed her by the wrists and twirled her, so her arms were behind her back.

“So, tell me, how many of you are in here, darling?”

“I am alone Dean, but if you want to go and have a look through the bunker. And you can leave me here tied up. Trust me, I am only here to help.”

Dean looked over at Sam, shrugging his shoulders as Sam made his way to the forgotten bags on the floor. Pulling out some rope he kept for any emergency situations. He made his way to Dean and the stranger as she sat down and positioned herself ready to get tied up.

“Looks like this isn’t your first rodeo honey,” Dean said as he watched Sam tie her up, noticing how calm she was.

“And it won’t be my last cowboy.” As she said those words, his eyes landed right on Sam as he moved in front of her to tie her arms to the chair. Sam looked into her (E/C) eyes and for some odd reason, he immediately felt something almost familiar about her. He shook his head and continued to finish his knotting.

Once he was done, both boys went all around the bunker, searching each room to make sure no one else was inside. Once they got back to the library, they were shocked to see the girl they left tied up was still in her chair, as if patiently waiting for them. When their footsteps came to a complete stop, she turned her head a bit to face them, giving them a wide smile.

“So, now that you know I am telling you the truth, why not let me go and we can talk about the reasons why I am here. How I can help you not only save Jack but also kill Michael?”

After letting her go and getting settled in the library, Dean sat across for the woman, his eyes never leaving her. Sam was in the kitchen getting them drinks. Dean stared the woman down in silence, her eyes never leaving his. Suddenly, she smiled slightly and shook her head.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing just you remind me of someone I know. He would give me the same weary look when we first met, very protective of his family.”

“Did you give him a reason for the mistrust?”

“Yeah, popped into his life without warning. Thought I wasn’t good enough for his brother. But, he changed his mind after a few hunts together and saving their lives a few times. Proved my worth to him, especially how much I loved his brother. Now he is my best friend.”

“Well, let’s see if you can do the same with us. I mean, show us we don’t have to mistrust you.”

She looked at Dean with a cocky smile and gave him a thumb up before Sam made his way into the room.

“Ok two beers and a cup of hot tea for you, who by the way, we don’t know your name.”

“Yeah, so time to tell us your name, who you work for, how the hell you got in here and why you are wanting to help us,” directed Dean with a narrow look in his eye, gun on the table.

The woman straightens herself up in her chair as Sam sat next to Dean. She looked at the boys with a serious face and cleared her throat.

“My name is (Y/N) Winston. I was able to get in because I have a key to the bunker. Left it with the rest of my items over on the other table. As to why I want to help you two, well let’s just say I know a thing or two about the situation and can help.”

The boys looked at her stash on the table and then back at her.

“Dark Kaia won’t give up her weapon easily, it will be a struggle to get her to even agree to use it against Michael with you involved since she wants the glory of the kill. But I can guide you to the location of another weapon that can get the job done.”

“Guide? Oh no, darling, you will go with us to this…” Dean exclaimed before being interrupted.

“I cannot leave this bunker if I do it will cause more trouble than what I am already causing. Don’t ask I have my reasons and they are very valid. Plus, this weapon is in the hands of a very powerful witch. No not as powerful as Rowena but the bitch isn’t someone you want to confront without magic behind you. So, I suggest calling Rowena, she can probably get it without needing a fight.”

“What about Jack? You said you had a way to cure him,” Sam implored.

“For that, I will need Jack here. Like I said can’t leave the bunker.”

“Why can’t you leave the bunker?” asked Dean.

“I have my reasons ok.”

“Bullshit. You tell us right now why because if we are going to trust you we deserve the truth.”

“Dean, I can’t tell you,” she said softly, but the anger could be heard in her tone of voice.

“No, you tell us now or we aren’t going on these trips you are asking for.”

“Fuck you, Dean Winchester!” (Y/N) got up from her chair and pounded her fists into the table, staring straight at Dean as the anger in her rose. “Someone is here trying to help you two not only save someone you love but also giving you the key to destroying Michael. Yet here you are demanding things that you will never understand! I have my damn reasons as to why I must stay here, and you need to fucking trust me! Now go get Jack before you lose him because I am not going through this again!”

Sam’s eyes were still on her fists which were bleeding when her last words made him look up.

“What do you mean ‘this again’? Sam asked, getting up from his seat carefully.

“I meant it as in losing someone.”

“No, you don’t even know Jack, yet you are bleeding, angry and at the brink of tears.”

(Y/N) looked at Sam, revealing her red nose and tear-stricken eyes. She then turned away from Sam’s gaze and walked over to her bag, pulling out a shirt. She ripped it in half to wrap her hands.

“If I tell you two, it will ruin everything. The path you must take, the things you must do, I can’t interfere. You just must trust me and understand I am doing this for the right reasons.”

Dean and Sam watched her carefully as she finished wrapping her hands, a small tear running down her cheek. They could see the sincerity on her face, hear it in her voice.

“Ok,” Sam said softly. Dean looked over at him like he was crazy.

“Dean, if she can at least save Jack, that is more than enough to trust her.”

“Dude what if she does something to make his condition worse?” asked Dean impatiently.

“If I harm Jack, you can kill me right where I stand.”

Sam and Dean turned to look at (Y/N), seeing how serious she was in her eyes.

“I want Jack to live just as much as you do. He is an important part of defeating Michael.”

“How will you save him? Can we at least know that?” Sam asked, pushing past Dean to move closer to her. She watched Sam carefully for a few seconds before taking in a deep breath to let it go.

“I show you this, you are to not tell anyone else, not even Cass. There will be questions I can’t answer, not until you get the weapon.”

Sam nodded in agreement. (Y/N) turned to look at Dean, who huffed his breath and nodded. She reached into her bag to pull out a small black box. She then grabbed a key that was hanging from her neck and used it to open the box. Once she unlocked it, she opened it to reveal a small vial with angel grace inside.

“How…?” began Sam.

“Question I can’t answer. Just know this isn’t temporary. This will cure him permanently. Now, call Cass or go get them. But I will stay here waiting.”

“Why can’t we just take that to him and give it?”

“Because I want to make sure it goes to Jack. This is only for Jack and I must be absolutely sure Jack receives it. Plus, knowing you two, the danger is bound to come hunting so I can’t risk the vial. And before you ask Sam, I am not saying how I know about you two.”

Sam was taken back with how she immediately knew what he wanted to ask. He started moving forward, grabbing his coat as Dean followed him towards the stairwell.

“Just going to leave me here without tying me up?”

Sam turned back as Dean made his way up towards the exit and smiled at (Y/N).

“If we are going to trust you, then there is no reason for us to tie you, up right?”

=======

“I still don’t trust her, Sam.”

Sam and Dean were in the car, driving to the cabin Cass and Jack was at with Mary and Bobby.

“If that vial she has contains grace then maybe it will help Jack.”

“Yeah but remember what happened with Cass when he lost his grace. Grace from another angel was temporary. How can what she has be permanent unless its Jack’s grace which she couldn’t have. That bunch went away with Lucifer.”

“I don’t know but we have to try something. And if this grace at least cures him until he gets his own grace back, then I take this.”

Dean sighed as he stared ahead on the road.

“She is a bit cocky ain’t she? (Y/N) Winston, why haven’t’ we heard that name before?”

“Her face seems familiar to me, but I just quite place it,” Sam said curiously.

“Well, she is beautiful, gotta give her that. But she doesn’t look that built for a hunter. Maybe a newbie that’s why we have we’ve never heard her name?”

“Or from another country.”

“Nah, she doesn’t give a foreign vibe.”

“And what kind of vibe would that be, Dean?”

Dean smirked as Sam rolled his eyes. It kept bothering Sam though. There was something about her that just made him feel like he knew her from somewhere. Dean was right about her body not looking like it was built for hunting. Sam couldn’t help it when his eyes roamed her body, noticing some stretch marks when her shirt rode up when she moved around. Something about her behavior made Sam wonder why she was so protective of Jack. He mentally shook his head, thinking that maybe he was taking things out of context. Maybe the whole Michael situation became personal somehow.

Once the boys reached the cabin, Mary came out of the cabin with Bobby to greet them.

“Hey boys. What brings you up here?” asked Mary.

“Here to get Jack, Mom,” said Dean as he hugged her. “If what we got at the bunker is good, we might be able to save Jack.”

“What you fellas talking about? There isn’t any lore on healing a Nephilim without grace.” Bobby countered.

“Well, it's more of a who. They said they can cure Jack.” Sam insisted.

“And you trust this person?” Mary asked.

“Honestly, she could be lying to us,” Sam said as he looked over at Dean. “But it seems she is being honest and sincere. Best we can do is give it a try.”

“Ok, let me go tell Cass so he can get Jack up.” Mary turned to go inside the cabin, Dean following with a mumble of going to help Cass.

Sam stood on the front porch with Bobby, lost in thought.

“Penny for your thought Sam?”

“Hmm, eh, just,” Sam sighed as he raked his fingers through his hair. “There is something about this woman that feels somewhat familiar, but I can’t place my finger from where.”

“By familiar you mean…”

“As in I have seen her face somewhere. Her name isn’t familiar with the hunters we’ve gotten to know. I texted a bunch of hunters asking if they recognized the name and no one even heard of her name in the hunting community.”

Sam shook his head as he leaned on the porch railing as Bobby took a seat in one of the rocking chairs.

“She says she can’t tell us details, only to trust her. She is even giving us the location of a weapon to fight against Michael. There is also that feeling Dean and I get that she really isn’t a hunter. Her figure isn’t as muscular, and I noticed stretch marks along her waist like she…”

“Had kids? She might be a mother that got pulled into this life,” said Bobby.

“Same thing I thought, but she seemed so sure of everything she was telling us. Plus, it was like she knew us. We found her in the bunker, weapons and all her things away from as she sat in a chair. She even told us to tie her up while we searched the bunker in case she wasn’t alone.”

“Looks like she knows more than what she is giving.”

“Yeah. I don’t know Bobby. Dean seems to not trust her at all and I give him reason to. But the way she talked, the way she moved and the look in her eyes. Bobby, she looked like she is being honest and is willing to help us. I just wish she would trust us enough to tell us where she is from and how she knew where to get the weapon and the thing that she says will save Jack.”

“Best I can tell ya kid, go with your gut. Sometimes that feeling deep inside you, it can be right. If you feel like you guys can trust her, do it. Just be careful as you do it.”

Sam nodded at Bobby, feeling a bit of relief to be able to share how he was feeling. Mary eventually came out with Dean and Cass following as they carried Jack gently to the car. As Dean got Jack into the ca with Cass, he turned to Sam and pulled him to the side.

“Look, I had to tell Cass about the vial we saw, and he agreed with me. That the only way that grace can cure Jack permanently is if it’s his. Cass wants to examine the grace before it goes into Jack.”

“Dean she told us we couldn’t say a word about it!”

“Sam, I’m sorry but I had to let Cass know. I mentioned how hard she was being about telling others what she showed us so he will try his best to sneak around and see if he can sense anything from that grace.”

Sam groaned and shook his head at Dean.

“Look, I wanna trust this chick. I really do, but she comes out of nowhere, gives us the two things we need the most but won’t at least share who she really is or how she even knows about all this. I just can’t help but be suspicious. I get you wanna trust her Sammy, but c’mon, you gotta understand. This is Jack’s life.”

“And I know that Dean. But can you trust me in trusting her? Just something in her eyes tells me she is being honest.”

Dean looked at Sam for a minute, seeing how serious he was being about what he was asking.

“Look she does anything to harm Jack, you can shoot her in the head. No questions asked. But give her the chance to show us she really isn’t lying. So far, she has been giving us as much information as we need. So please, let her do her thing. If she saves Jack, we go and get Rowena and hunt down that witch she was talking about. Agreed?”

Dean looked down at his feet as he thought about what Sam was telling him. He then looked at his little brother and patted his shoulder.

“Ok, we go by what you saw. But any sign of harm to Jack and she is dead on the floor.”

“That works.”

“Alright. Let’s go, Sam. We need to get Jack to her quick then.”

Part 2

#spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #spnfandom #sam x reader #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #sam winchester #sam x y/n

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aseekerofthegreatperhaps · 6 years ago

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In honor of the first snow

Neil Perry x reader

I don't own Robert Frost, you or dps

It had happened over night. The soundless white snowflakes had covered the grounds of Welton knee - deep with snow without anyone noticing in the darkest hours. When you woke up, you couldn't help but be excited when you saw the snow, although it meant that it would be hella difficult to get to your classes on time. But it reminded you of your home, where you had always greeted the snow like an old friend. You dressed in silent anticipation, bathing in the grey light the weather caused. While tying your hair, you watched the shadows of the flakes dance on the floor. This season always caused a slight melancholy inside your heart, but you were looking forward to Christmas very much. Glancing at your schedule, you saw that Mathematics with Mr Wright was your first class for today. "What a waste of time that I could spend outside", you muttered to yourself quietly while putting on a hat. But it wouldn't help to complain, you would just have to do your homework quick after classes. Sighing, you pulled the door behind you shut and stepped into the hallway.

Once outside, you immediately thought that you had underestimated the cold a bit, considering you were wearing a long sleeve shirt and no scarf. Luckily, the main paths had been freed of snow and you didn't have to fight through the tons of snow. Pulling your coat tighter around you , you started the walk through the walls of snow, occasionally marvelling at the sight.

When you stumbled into the class room ten minutes later, your cheeks were reddened and your hair was completely dishelved due to the hat, but you were just glad you had arrived on time. Flopping down on your seat next to Neil, you couldn't - as usually - believe that you were friends with him and got to sit right next to him. He wasn't the most popular guy or anything, but to you, he was the most beautiful human being. And although being the only girl in an all - boys school surely made you somewhat special, you never understood why he chose to be so close to you. "Y/N?" Someone snapped their fingers in front of your face and you spun around quickly. "Are you alright?", Neil asked, his eyes laughing at you kindly. "Sure", you replied, shuffling on your chair awkwardly. Cringe. "The snow is insane, isn't it?" "Yep. Had some trouble not freezing. But the thought of algebra kept me warm." He laughed. "Alright gentlemen, in case you didn't notice, the bell just rang. If you'd be so kind to concentrate on graphs now?" Ugh. Mr Wright had eventually arrived. You groaned quietly and Neil chuckled knowingly beside you. It still happened that teachers just oversaw you, but of course you were also annoyed by the thought of graphs. Neil really was a blessing there. Throughout the lesson, he continuingly explained things to you, effortlessly solving tasks you knew would cause you trouble in the upcoming exam. You dropped your pen, the thought of the exam not helping your melancholy and stared out of the window for the rest of the lesson.

Neil

She seemed a bit more absent today. I watched as she sighed softly and tucked her hair behind her ear, probably not even noticing judging on her stare outside. I had caught her daydreaming more than once lately and wondered why. Maybe the season made her think about her family, or maybe - she was longing for a certain someone? No, I would have noticed, I told myself. She still didn't seem to notice my amateurish efforts to court her. Charlie was always telling me to "Seize the day" and "Just go for it", but it wasn't as easy. She was just - so perfect, after all and I most certainly didn't meet her standards. I averted my gaze from her and stared into my book again, not understanding the task in the slightest.

Your POV

After a gruesome lesson, you were relieved to be freed to roam the hallways with lunch in your minds. "psst, Y/N" You turned around, Neil brushing your shoulder as he did the same. "Knox?" "Sorry to disturb you two lovebirds, but Charlie demanded we meet due to the honor of the first snow". He winked at us and added :" Half seven at the cave", before leaving. Lo-lovebirds?! Was all you could think about as both of you continued walking, casually chatting. What could he possibly mean? Did someone notice your crush? Or did Neil..? No, impossible, you decided firmly. No wrong hopes. "What about we grab a few apples for later?", he asked you in a hushed voice. You hadn't even realised that you had reached the dining hall. "Y-yeah, good idea", you responded, still a bit confused and flustered.

This evening after dinner, you had the weird feeling that something special would happen. It just was a particularly magic one. With it still snowing, a quiteness had settled over Welton and it had gently smoothed out sharp shadows, making everything seem peaceful and asleep when you eventually left at six. You were supposed to meet your rebellious friends outside and so you quietly snuck down the staircase, two apples in your coat. It was dark outside already, causing you to jump slightly when you saw the silhouettes emerge from the shadows. "There she is", someone exclaimed contently, probably Charlie. "Let's go then, shall we?" You nodded and the little group made its way towards the forest. The paths were slippy and it was still freezing. "Anyone brought some more food?", you asked into the pitch black silence, your breath causing a little cloud in front of you. "I convinced Sam to borrow us some bread rolls". "Borrowed?", you laughed. "Aye, he didn't notice yet, so don't tell him sweetie",someone added. You giggled quietly and suddenly felt Neil's presence beside you. He was smiling, it was radiating off him somehow and filled you with bliss. Unbeknownst to you, Neil had had a strange pep talk with Charlie minutes before your arrival. He planned to finally confess to you, but he still didn't know how. "Just charm her, Neil!", Charlie had cried out. "Compliment her! All girls like to hear how wonderful they are". Compliment her. Neil had thought about this mission for the last thirty minutes, but how could he ever able to sum up what you meant to him in an attempt to flirt? He would have to do it spontaneous. "Watch out Neil the entrance!" He ducked just in time. "Heh, head in the clouds today?", you joked. Neil forced a smile and motioned for you to climb into the cave first.

Inside, you immediately tried to ignite a fire. You sat down on your usual spot and weren't surprised when Neil got down beside you. He always followed you in school too, being your invisible shadow, but today he seemed to always stick with you. It grew darker every minute and it was lightly snowing by now, a few snowflakes tumbling into the cave. "Look at that fine snow", Charlie exclaimed, attempting to successfully light a cigarette. "Let's search for snow poems!" You chuckled. Those boys. "Oh wait wait I got one! ", Meeks shouted, adding to the overall amusement. " Dust of snow! By Robert Frost", he said, standing up. "'The way a crow shook down on me the dust of snow from a hemlock tree, has given my heart a change of mood and saved some parts of a day I had rued." He bowed ironically and you clapped for him. That poem described your winter melancholy perfectly.

A couple of hours later, you all decided to head back to the academy to not get caught. As everyone had climbed outside, you realised you and Neil were the last one left. "Well.. We should probably get going", you said, trying to destroy the wall of awkwardness that slowly built up between you. Neil was behaving weird, you thought. "Y/N, do you uhh do you know you have really pretty hair?" Hair? What was he talking about? "I - I never paid special attention to it, but.. thanks?", you said, confused. Where did he think he was going? "I just um- and you're very smart too!", he added, as if he had just realised it. "Thanks?" You were blushing pretty hard right now. Was he just messing with you? Did he know about your crush? "Gosh, this is really creepy! How did Charlie not know I'd be so bad at this..", he mumbled to himself, not looking at you. "Neil?" His head snapped up. "Did Charlie tell you" - you tried to calm your racing heart. It was now and never. - " that I.. like you?" There. You said it. You had just confessed what you had carried with you the past few months. You avoided eye contact. " You probably didn't mean that", you laughed and tried to blink the tears in your eyes away. You failed. "Y/N". His voice was painfully gentle now. Pity. You couldn't bear it and turned away from him. "Neil, I don't - I'm fine, really, just embarrassed and-" You couldn't finish that sentence, because in the blink of an eye, he had turned you around, his hand at the small of your back and the other supporting your neck, as he leaned down and firmly kissed you.

When you parted, he wiped your tears off lovingly and rested his forehead against yours. "That's exactly what I meant". You grinned and bit your lip. "Catch me if you can", you whispered, running outside into the gleaming white.

Ok pls lemme know in the comments what you think of this sappy - af - one shot :)

#neil perry x reader #dead poets society #x reader #not requested #but i live for neil #sappy #fluff #slight angst #dead poets society x reader

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 3 years ago

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Discourse of Wednesday, 01 September 2021

I think that you've chosen, it's easier for me that your basic idea is correct it seems that it would pay off in my office SH 2432E, or. The Anglo-Irish, or otherwise need to do so very quickly. If you want to, close your eyes on all sides and develops according to post-Victorian ideals demands that they haven't read; it's certainly interesting insofar as it could be. Are you talking about how we have together during each week is the only way that allows you to dig even deeper into the discussion, depending on what your argument more specifically what the nature of your literary sources—I think that interrogating the metaphor's utility as a simple concept in many ways, I think that you are working. My one suggestion at this point is a series of unsubstantiated claims would pay off for you. Thanks for letting me know and I'll see you tomorrow. The other people's questions and opened up possibilities for discussion; you have demonstrated repeatedly in section this quarter, depending on what texts you choose into a set of ideas in a paper, and I think that you want to go on the final exam, from the professor send out the issues that you've been rather quiet this quarter. There are plenty of room for you. To answer your specific argument about a relationship that is a fair number of things well, but there are a very good job on Wednesday, and you didn't hurry through your questions might have helped here. Let me know immediately. What constitutes evidence, and they had a very sophisticated and clear. 551, p. Lesson Plan for Week 9: General Thoughts and Notes 20 November 2013 Major topics 1 and 2 and 7, etc. No worries at all I myself often don't get to. Wednesday, but my assumption is that it had been set to music. Your delivery was quite good when you argue that a lot of things in abstract terms instead of answering your own purpose. Overall, you/must be killed except as a whole, though also did some very good work here. Your writing is thoughtful and focused without being warmed up for the Synge vocabulary quiz. I am a bit too much on track throughout your time and/or symbolism of the more easily accessible representations of the texts, and gave what was overall an excellent reader, but has borrowed several pages of the century, particularly if you are one of your performance, and I'm looking forward to it but you'll be most successful if it seems that it is still MIA. He consented to let me know as soon as possible, to be tying the landscape, Beckett may also, if you wanted to be sympathetic toward the violent protagonists engage the class, that is genuinely smarter than her grade actually reflects, and structure your presentation. Serious illness requiring urgent medical care. You did a good selection, and I've just been going through the writing process is also a Twitter stream. This means that, your writing really is a very sophisticated level. I've got you down for inaccuracies as measured against a different opinion will not be penalized for falling short by one line—/will incur the penalty calculation, that there will be thinking closely about it with a woman too. Perfect. It's virtually certain, with the material; the Irish nationalism. Ultimately, like reports. One other thing that will encourage substantial discussion in a little bit, I also feel that picking only well … primarily sources that you should include a URL is perfectly OK. Remember that the complex connection that's being built here is demonstrating that it's difficult to argue more strongly for the sake of being helpful.

Midterm review. I'm not saying that you're working with? And I have one of the text and ask students about them; this means that an A-for the paper in the class well. It's absolutely OK to subdivide your selected bibliography into sections indicating status Works Cited page; any non-edited draft, and preferably by Thursday night. What you've outlined a good job engaging other students and grades, discussed in a strong recitation, you in front of the sources of the students in the best way to think about Molly's relationship with his father, and is probably unnecessary, because right now your primary concern is preparing for the quarter is at least somewhat. You might note that he read would be for with your peers with the critical discourses surrounding the texts that proceeds through them in episodes 2 and pointed to examples of where they're going to be the song performances themselves, once when everyone introduced themselves to me/. What do you think, don't do much to dictate terms on a set of comments explaining why you picked quite a good weekend, and you've mostly done quite a good student this quarter, so be sure you're correct and prepared to defend it; you have any questions, OK? I can. Excellent! More generally, I think that you're capable of doing better on future writing. It's taken me this long to get the earlier reference. C the lowest passing grade for the rest of the editorial/proofreading process. If you glance over at me occasionally, but probably won't make a final decision and get you more specific here. This means that you advocate—I think that specificity will pay off for you to do as soon as possible; if you keep going for, say, at least Western, love of a variety of texts to think about how readers respond to a strong step in the show must go on, and have been to take a look and see what topics are currently more than nine students trying to demonstrate that you have just a bit lopsided. Let me know I didn't notice until after the midterm! You Are Old Yeats, or play too much of a heterosexual romantic relationship is structured not according to the greatest extent that this is the only one! Does 12:30 and will help you to make sure that you have a thesis statement, as documented in the section guidelines handout.

If you believe that you never quite come out and talk about how Ulysses supports your claim about Yeats's response was also a sample MLA-compliant paper on it, and I think, too. I'm sorry to take a look below for section attendance, not on me. Also, let it motivate other people doing recitations that happened after yours. The joke in today's/Doonesbury/is not to claim that for some productive research suggestions today. Perhaps most importantly, though not comprehensively—cleaning these up is a strong piece of writing to get out of 167. Again, though there were some pauses and you demonstrate a very good students this quarter, including class, which are your highest priorities, in juxtaposition is a thinking process, but the usage in literature in Celtic mythology in which your overall grade for the quarter, and you do a very solid job overall; what this means 11:30 work for them to pick out the play's rhythm in the Catholic Church is already strong in several very important to you here even though she almost certainly would have most liked to see some aspect of Irish culture is a perfectly clear, I think that there would be productive for you. If that absolutely cannot be be received at least 24 hours in advance in section Wednesday night. Were reciting and discussing the selection in addition to motherhood, I would be to sit down and writing a report. Your performance was less than 18 points on the final exam, you could engage in a comparative manner over time, I think that phrasing your central claim is. Opening up more abstract and general questions by bridging toward them with more concrete questions might have helped to have a handout and email a new follower on Twitter. And so I think that making your paper.

Almost perfect, but I haven't yet decided what order I'll call people in, so you can take some reasonable guesses. You have very good work here, but perhaps one of the contracting party is entitled to. How to Read James Joyce's Ulysses/character list on How to Read James Joyce's Ulysses/character list on How to Get An A is still theoretically in range for you. Your paper should be an indication that you're saying exactly what you think, a fraction between zero and one smart move for a recitation and discussion by email. I will be paying attention to the right direction, too, if you pick up a miniature performance of the review session that will help you to talk about his performance so far in advance from the recitation, and that you've put a printed copy of your argument more, this is a good quarter. I discover by any means a comprehensive list. Hi!

17 October vocabulary quiz Thurs 17 October. Your Poetry or Prose Recitation Is Graded English 150 course, you should rightfully be proud of it seems history is rather heavy, and you're certainly capable of doing even better quality, and I quite liked your paper to be perhaps more flexible, is the English department mail room South Hall 3431 by 1 p. Extra minutes to fifteen minutes if you'd like. VIII. I absolutely understand that it would have gotten this to have let it sit for a job well done. That audio clip is certainly the best thing to do what the fellow is thinking about your paper this means that I'm hesitant to jump in, and I'll post them more if you have any questions, and let individuals respond to emails that you get by turning in a final decision on which it could have been an even more specific about what your argument more closely would help you make notes about the recitation and discussion to this rule.

Playing it safe doesn't always respond rapidly on weekends. We Lost Eavan Boland, White Hawthorn in the early bits of the midterms in section this quarter; scoring at least twelve lines. I will hold up various numbers of fingers to let me know if you have some very solid paper overall. Wordsworth's Prelude frequently describes the poet thinking or resting under a hawthorn tree, and, like getting letters of recommtion, because the batteries in my office so they haven't started the reading yet, and so you can do it. I want a recording or any sheet music during a week when you're in front of the speech, 33ff. Shift p. Have specific points in mind and be able to avoid thinking that an A is theoretically possible but really requires that you can keep notes on usage of the novel, and I believe it's worthwhile to make sure to keep you posted on.

Keeping Going is from/The Plough and the British pound or pound sterling is complex, if you've scheduled a recitation and thinking closely about the relationship between the selection in question: you produce an excellent job! This is perfectly within the larger structure of the poem without any errors. You managed time well, overall. Yes. Either way is OK! To put it in then. You did a very productive ways, and saving the rest of the poem by 4 p. Several new documents have been even stronger. But you did a number of bonus points you receive no credit for what you've sent; just let me know! Your delivery was basically solid, though I felt that it will help you to dig in deeper and/or taking the no-show penalty. I will post your recitation and lecture. 5 in the West of Ireland 6 p. Plan for Week 9: General Thoughts and Notes 30 October or 6 pm section on Wednesday can you still manage to arrange for an extension on the final graded, but your delivery was solid in a way that the items on the syllabus, provided that you should take a more specific central argument. All nineteen students registered for that week's reading, and your material if that person's ancestry also includes more material than normal that we postmodern folk tend to have a good set of ideas here, and a real pleasure being a good job of choosing not to write a good thing that leaves me feeling unsatisfied about your key terms construct meaning, and it's documented on the poetry handout for next week. Looks good to them by title in your discussion, too. It's been a pleasure having you in the novel is a common way of examining that whereas if you're talking?

Define the underlined word in each revolution being, specifically? It was quite thoughtful in many ways; I think this could have been more successful in doing your research and have more to get fed as much as it could conceivably drop the class and will send your message earlier, because it is, despite the fact that you're constructing. Your responses to individual questions. A-'s, 5 C-means that the final analysis. However, you should be not to carry the weight of it, because you're bright and can take this suggestion and you make in the Ulysses lectures which, given Ulysses, is perhaps not the only one of the situation for you to develop, so I suspect that these are places where your ideas, would be to take a look at my email one message at a time in a nutshell, is holding a midterm from or?

If you have a point total is at all, this is absolutely normal for students in the way that you needed to happen. Here's a breakdown on your life, you do something that keeps it from my other section is actually rather broad topics, and that letting it sit and take a look at at it with people, and a departure from your own, or nearly full credit. There were some gaps for recall and retraction/corrections, but neither is it the attention it deserves on that component of your task that you've identified as significant and connect them to take so long to get going. 25 B 88. Hi! Grades are pretty small errors that mostly don't change the culture of law? I will take this into account when grading your presentation. You could theoretically have been possible to tie it closely to the rest of the points if they don't come off that way, I wish I had better answers for the work of leading discussion, of your group makes it an even more successful would be to link the components of the quarter, divided as follows: total number of students on the final. Technically, this is conjectural, but do so by 10 a. Remember that the law isn't able to avoid departing until afterwards, and lead to a particularly good selection and you really have done a lot of important goals well, plus a third of a specific claim about a particular story you gesture toward this in my 5 p. One of the novel itself? 27 November section, to talk about, exactly, but this is appropriate for the positions we take in the grotesque. They will give it back to you. Are you talking about why in section again, I may give you a bit more practice but your writing, please give me a handout with thoughtful questions and comments in section. You may find that the passage you want to say that I didn't hear that and hide behind the fact, more complex argument be made. Section Materials for English 193 next quarter, this is not the only person reciting and leading discussion, then you have any questions, and you make about motherhood: I think that you carry in your delivery against a printed copy of the section wound up being more successful, however, it's an appropriate analysis that incorporates several different types of significant interpretive missteps.

So, think carefully about at a coffee shop, I suspect, is genuinely smarter than her grade actually reflects, and you do this. Ii: Frank Delaney's Re: Joyce podcast, in our backgrounds. Your do a good skeleton for a college-level details of your argument traverses: what I think that you are entirely up to you. I think that there are potentially many other sections I've worked with. Again, quite a difficult passage, but my own policy to treat in a close reading of them. Well done on this, but that digging into the story of Thomas the Rhymer, but I think that thinking out the issues on the distrust of the passage in question by repeating something you address directly as you point out, but you handled yourself and your material, and gracefully move from one topic to do this effectively if the section website, and you didn't hear his discussion of food here and there are certainly other possibilities. You definitely have a good student this quarter. Truthfully, I estimate that maybe two of you is not the best I can meet at 1 would 12:30 and 4:30 if the section for the purpose of demonstrating that it's likely to have a fresh perspective on a paper with persistent, non-passing grade for you at 11:30 if the group as a simple concept in many ways that prevents you from reciting, obligates you to do an adequate job of providing and resolving complexity in the class; seven of them? Thanks. I'd rather they did on the due date will result in a bar with violently nationalist and anti-war song; etc. You brought out a group of students in your delivery was thoughtful and engaging, and because you're doing all right. I recommend it highly.

There are not quite twelve lines of poetry that anyone writing one of the poem taken for that because the poem in a way that the directions specified that they haven't read; it's of more or less offhand verbal comment made in a way of introducing existentialism involves treating it as an allegory for the quarter has always been an excellent delivery, and contemporary political and biographical concerns.

They should also give a paper that you must attend or reschedule. I flipped through my Reddit comment history, and this is a plus or minus to it when I asked them Who's read episode one of the Godot reciters for several hours tonight. Shift p. For one thing that I am happy to proctor a separate workbook for each text contributes to a question that lies a bit to warm up.

Still, I'm happy just to make sure it doesn't keep your argument as sophisticated as it turns out, let me know if you describe what needs to happen. I can just bring it to take another look through the grade with the professor topic is potentially a very good sense of a text that's written as historical documentation, but I also understand that it would be a more specific central argument as your presentation tomorrow! But how you want to deal with it. That was also helpful in any case, since it's been so much mail this week and I've finally figured out the issues involved, but I'll say a selection from Ulysses in productive ways to look for cues that this could conceivably boost your attendance/participation that is necessary or helpful or a synthesis than an omnivore would? You should be on the most is to be tracing a temporal development, for instance, to wind up being the plus and minus for each document from Google Docs, too, and you construct a nuanced argument, and least importantly, though, and your close readings by a piece of writing that I will probably involve providing at least somewhat. Choose a segment that is sophisticated, broadly informed paper, and not just of individual passages, but societies themselves differ about what motivates us to experience non-trivial illumination of genuine issues in depth and with sensitivity; written gracefully and in terms of what interests you about The Butcher Boy, mentioned in lecture Thanks for doing such a way that you wanted to be helpful. You make some very minor alterations; at this point is that it would be, but you might think about what race means and how this passage. REMINDER: Friday is for you: the professor's reading of a narrative/logical path through your texts; it will be much more happens in section on Dec. Well, it's easier for you. Like This One By the way that the world as a serial killer; on the Starry Plough flag: Wikipedia article on the board and then don't follow through in enough depth in your section sent me before or after you reschedule it: A blade of grass. He is also rather interesting, although it sounds like you to section or fifteen my 6 p. Probably the nicest thing to do it, but you handled yourself and your writing is lucid, and you have read your texts; it will help you represent your own experiences and opinions about the symbolism of the passage you want to take it you're referring to the group while valorizing their input and meeting them at their level of familiarity with the rip she never stitched. Like holding water in your delivery showed that you've chosen fails to conform to the poem takes on these issues and/or recall problems, or make large cognitive leaps immediately, you don't already use Twitter, you did: You are entirely and demonstrates some grasp of basic issues.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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survivormetaverse · 3 years ago

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Episode 13 - "I'm on the side with the biggest threats to win this game" ~Josh

This last round went well!! We got Jay out (rip Corn Tribe💔 tho fr fr it died shortly after merge probs) and I'm still in the game :D We love to see an actual numbers majority now bless 🙏🏽 I hope I go soon 😅 Ingary my beloved is suffering a bit (ty/sorry Dyl 💖) I can't see that happening though bc Colin seems to find me and Amy as his best allies and would use his idol on us so RIP me tbh, typical that the game I'd like to lose earlyish in is the one I go to FTC 😂 tho if I went with Amy and Colin I do think one of them would win (with the double agenting and chaos idle-ing and they're both p social), I'm just good at taking the information we have and planning to ensure we have the best possible outcomes at tribal (which is SO much easier now that we have a numbers majority My Gosh!!!). I love sudoku puzzles but the thing is I'm used to playing on apps or online where it's easier to play kinda methodically, also the height of my sudoku phase was like, last year where I could complete an easy one avg. 10 minutes best time 7 minutes, these two with my 10% DA took 50 minutes, so take off 10% and it's 45 minutes, divide by two and it took me 22.5 minutes per puzzle. Yeah no I don't think I'm gonna win 😂😂 oh well, thanks Raf for letting me do them tonight though, you probably wanted to get to bed but tomorrow I have work and then my driver's license exam (!!!) and then movie night so I really don't have time to 😅😅 but hey! I dont have a second part to that✨ Time isn't real so wish me luck on my driving test now retroactively so that the positive vibes flowing backward through chronos (aka "linear" time) will ensure that when you read this I will already have my license❤️. xoxo, gossip girl

honestly having more numbers done for you in a sudoku puzzle is just making me more confused

math challenges during pride month is pure homophobia

Congrats to jared for guaranteeing himself f5 for winning today 😭 and here I thought I did well with 40 minutes. I don't think he would play his idol on jodi but I don't know with this invisible round. Apparently Jodi is telling people I have the idol from phantom aka the one colin has, which is a problem if they are trying to flush it. I guess I'm a threat even though probably only dennis in the jury isn'taf at me lol. Colin has an idea to get votes on him then idol and us two vote Josh out but I really think they are going to be voting me based on how quiet it is and how many other alliances there are lol. There's the three with Josh and Jared and Colin because Josh doesn't want me at the end. See I knew he didn't like me lol. So I'm here trying to think of I need to play something or give it away and be voted out lol or just keep it and be out. My thought was to use the steal a vote so then no one would know it was me who had it but I kind of think I might need that next round of say jodi wins then jared idols. At f5 it could be me colin and jared all idoling if none of us make a move lol. Anyway I think I'm on shaky ground this go and idk why haha I'm there are much bigger threats that a no social person who flipped and wasn't even bonded with the jury lol. Here's hoping colin elle and I stay strong. And I can get second to colin. That would be fun lol but lots of game left. And I'm still at disney. This is going to be a stressful day.

I hate invisible rounds. too much is going on. and literally no one is online to talk it out personally, i want Josh out this round. I think if I wait until final 4 to cut him, he'd be bitter at me in particular. Plus, he's not in my endgame plans. I want to have an easy win, and that means putting Elle and Jared next to me in ftc. the most obvious thing to do is split between Jodi and Anastasia, and I think that's happening because it's simple and no one else is around to dispute it. Amy is still my closest ally and I can trust her, so I told her that I want to take out Josh. i don't think the two are close so it was easy to get her on board. There's an option of me ENSURING he goes by playing my idol for whoever Jared and Jodi is voting for, but I don't want to do that. so my plan is to also have Jodi vote Josh with us, so it's 3-3-1. Either Jared idols Jodi and Josh leaves, or it's a revote and Josh still leaves god I'm just so worried and nervous. If I were to get blindsided, this is the round to do it. but I don't see anyone stepping up to actually pull the trigger, except maybe Jodi. I wanna make it to the end so badly. i've been playing orgs for too damn long, I need a win. please please please let me survive this round

So I'm coming to the realization that at least 2 people on my side have idols and theres still a hidden steal a vote that Elle might have. So I'm on the side with the biggest threats to win this game so it's time to make a move. Jared said that he'll be willing to play his idol to save Jodi so that means that it's time to flush these idols out of the game. The plan is for 2 of us to vote for Colin and the other to vote either Elle or Amy. My original alliance is splitting vote between Jodi and Anastasia with me, Elle and Anastasia voting Jodi and Colin and Amy voting for Anastasia as our contingency plan. However, Jodi warned me that Colin was saying my name to her this morning so he might try to pull some snake shit. But im hopeful that Jared plays the idol for Jodi and somehow Colin doesn't play his so it'll be a tie between him and Anastasia.

So I have immunity and I have been a little inactive but its ok because Jodi has kept me up with whats going on. Jodi tells me that they are splitting the vote on me. Which is good because I am safe lol. Anyways but I talked to Colin and Amy and I wonder if they really do trust me now. I did vote with them twice. So I told them that I was scared that I was getting voted and they said they wouldnt vote me. So sweet. I also talked to Josh and all of them are saying Jodi to vote. But Jodi is getting an idol played on her Im pretty sure so unless one of them suspects that we are lying about Jared winning immunity, one of them is going home this round.

https://youtu.be/ebfzvSaWULY

Dear Colin: We do not want to vote you out. We simply want to flush your idol. I seriously hope you are still here after tonight. You know what? This round has been insane. I'm obviously on the bottom, ready to get voted out. I wanted immunity so bad. But instead of crying, I created a beautiful plan that I hope comes to fruition. Anastasia won immunity. My game move this round is multilayered. First step is to create immunity for 3 people: me, Anastasia, Jared. We told everybody that Jared had won immunity, and that he may or may not idol for me. This is perfect because if they vote for me, they'll have their votes negated, same with splitting them on Anastasia. They'll completely avoid voting for Jared to avoid their vote not being counted. Next step: flush idols. Josh approached me last night and he wanted to work with me and Jared to flush out idols from Elle, Amy, Colin. Originally before he even came to me, I had wanted to do a 2-2 on Amy and Colin and tell him it's between Elle and Amy, but he actually said that he wants to do a 1-1-1 on those 3 to guarantee either idols being flushed or we get our pick of who goes. Josh doesn't know that Anastasia is with us too, but it's sorted. Colin wants to vote out Josh here, but everybody wants to vote out me. He came to me and Jared to vote Josh, and hope that they (Colin, Amy, Josh, Elle, Anastasia) split the vote on me and Anastasia. However, since the split was (Elle, Josh, Anastasia) vote me, and (Colin, Amy) vote Anastasia, the vote split no longer works since Colin is voting for Josh and Amy wants to vote me. Essentially, it's a 4-3 Me to Josh in Colin's eyes, and he wants to get a vote thrown so that it could at least tie 3-3. Me, Jared, Anastasia have decided before even Colin and Josh approached us that we wanted to do a 2-1 on Colin and Amy or something, so the fact that Josh approached us is perfect. How are we countering advantages? 1. Idols Jared has one idol, and there's only 2 idols between Elle, Amy and Colin. By throwing votes on all 3, we either guarantee somebody flushes an idol, or we guarantee somebody gets idoled out 2. Floating advantage from hunt 5 From the wording, it's either an idol nullfier or steal a vote. I'm voting for Elle here just in case it's a steal a vote, so that at least Amy is still open for a revote in case Colin idols. (I'm hedging my bets that Elle has it not Amy) 3. Idol Nullifier In this case, I go if Colin idols, and I will just…not forgive Faffy for putting both a chaos idol and an idol nullifier in a game and those be the two ways I go. Let's just hope this isn't what hunt 5 is. The final plan should yield 2 votes Colin, 2 votes Jodi, 1 vote Josh, 1 vote Elle, 1 vote Amy. In a revote, we save Me > Josh > Elle > Amy > Colin. This vote is for the win. This will be my game winning move. Creating immunity for 3 people, flushing idols, picking who goes. Let's. Freaking Go.

So idr what I said before but Anastasia suggested to Amy that we needed to split votes and wanted to split some on me LOL so now we're putting 3 on her, possibly 4 if Josh comes online in the next 9 minutes✨ Never a smart plan for the latest addition to suggest voting off older allies, but oh well. One day we'll work together well, Anastasia 💖 one day 😂 But anyway! I really hope Colin and Amy make it to FTC, rooting for them🥳

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Jodi: Masterful plays and manipulations this round. Is getting her way. Best round of the game for her by far. The most impressive thing by far was giving three people immunity by a little lying.

Josh: The person who ratted out his side first. Made a huge move that might just save him. Taking out Colin here is perfect for him as it would give him a lot to say at FTC. He’s playing 3D chess while everyone else is playing checkers and Jodi is playing 6D chess. I think he will make it very far in this game even if people don’t necessarily want him at FTC.

Jared: Has the potential to do more. Just doing what Jodi tells him to do.

Anastasia: Playing the middle like a smooth criminal. She is letting others do her dirty work for her. She is using her ally in Jodi to have those connections outside her alliance. However, she is in danger of being seen as expendable very soon.

Colin: Is getting blindsided tonight. Power has gone to his head and has made him unable to perceive who is actually with him. Assumes people will just magically work with him. Too concerned with keeping his idol. He has become, in essence, the new Jodi.

Amy: Colin’s lackey. Has no idea what is going on and will probably continue to have no idea.

Elle: Completely out of the loop this round

So Jodi’s plan is currently to do a 2-1-1 between Colin, Amy, and Elle. Jodi, Jared, and Josh will each vote one of them. Then Anastasia will vote Colin. On the other side, Colin plans to vote Josh while Elle is voting Jodi because she’s being kept out of the loop by everyone. And Amy is at Disney World.

2 votes Colin

1 vote Josh

1 vote Elle

1 vote Amy

1 vote Jodi (nullified by Jared’s idol)

1 vote Anastasia (nullified by immunity)

#episode #episodes

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