#ok time to lose followers
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Stuck on the thought that Bruce tried to be a father for Dick, but Dick didn’t want one. He wanted an equal, someone to fight crime with. And consequently, Bruce drove him away with his overbearing nature.
And then Jason came to him, and of course Bruce had to do better this time. He didn’t want to lose another child Robin. Only he realized too late that Jason didn’t just want to be Batman’s partner, he wanted to be Bruce’s son.
((And with Tim he was too scared to even try))
Kay thanks s’cuse me while I go cry in a corner goddammit
#random thoughts#look I love the batfam#and I love Dick being the oldest and calling Bruce dad#but also he was an angry child that just lost the nicest family ever#of course he didn’t want a new dad#and Bruce misunderstood#because emotions are HARD#and then Dick was gone and he was panicking with Jason because ‘Ok I’m gonna do everything better this time around’#… only to have Ethiopia happen#urghhhh just—-#Batdad#Bruce#give me caring Bruce Wayne#give me a father who wants to follow his children everywhere because he can’t bear to lose more family#ghost talks#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfam#Batman
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you know long distance doesn't work right gg?
shush ur scaring him away, what's wrong with you.
ok ok m sorry, I just thought it was whatever. He doesn't trust me anyways. but that's not his fault, I wouldn't trust me either with all the kinds of shit I keep pulling. god who tells their boyfriend that LDRs suck when u know ur going to be in one very soon fuck ok.
The non-attachment policy still stands though right? But I love him, but you love him, it's love, what even is love?- god shut up. it doesn't have to be a tragedy so stop making it one. m not making it one I promise I just, you know and I know that everything sucks and everyone leaves. plus he doesn't trust us. and it's your fault, u had to go tell him what ved said u absolute numbskull.
how do we fix this? we don't. we let it unroll, ba dum tis. you knew you were gonna be horribly broken apart yet you chose to get completely attached to him anyways so it's like your fucking fault alright. now you deal with it, fuck if you get low though, fuck we arent making out of this alive are we?
College is going to be something though. how am I gonna live without him ( you sound like a dwweeeebb), shush I can be in love ( ur not in love) I am though. he's gonna leave u. yes that even I know, nothing can be this good. we r gonna study thru this. yep, ggs fuck can I just be numb instead of low and teary abt this.
#noshu talkies#none of this makes sense#i dont even know why i have tumblr anymore#lol my life#ok time to lose followers
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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One day I’ll go through med school and then I’ll go through residency and then I’ll go through a fellowship and then I’ll be the most crybaby neurosurgeon you could think of. Bursting into tears if I so much as graze ur hypothalamus with my forceps
#Yesterday I shadowed a neurologist for the first time and basically we got done seeing a patient who’s also a heart surgeon#And I turned to the doctor and was like Ok what do we do#The thing is this patient has dementia and we don’t really have a cure for that yet so the study he’s enrolling in is largely observational#Still I expected her to follow up on him in much more frequent increments#Instead this woman goes “we’ll see him in 6-9 months but… not even sure if he’ll be here by then sooo”#Basically implying he might be dead in a year#AND I WAS LIKE. Blown away by how blase she was#And ever since then a fiendish sort of melancholy followed me everywhere I went .#Bc I haven’t stopped thinking about the heart surgeon#I don’t get how she can stop thinking about him#I don’t understand people who can stop thinking about something like that#I know neurologists like her have seen patients come and go many a time but I was disturbed#So I made a pact w myself never to lose my humanity. Half of why I’m so into medicine is bc of its humane aspects#And in 10 years I’ll look back at this and hopefully still be just as annoyingly sensitive as I am today#I think I’m just overall disillusioned w how little humanity some people seem to have but that doesn’t mean I have to be that way too#p
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PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC.
Rafael is driven by his independence and his anger, fighting for what he believes in and deems right to free his people and return peace to Medici. But his tendency to push people away blurs the lines between selflessness and self-destruction, and his desperation for control greatly overshadows the true lack thereof— and it has turned his spark into an all-consuming forest fire, with no way to douse the flames. And everything burned, as promised. OC WEB WEAVE SERIES: RAFAEL RODRIGUEZ.
richard kadrey, aloha from hell // by eyedeeuhs // firestarter; torre florim // by gundula blumi // savannah brown, from 'closer baby closer' // leach; bones uk // ocean vuong, from 'to my father / to my future son' // by ysociety // maybe, i; des rocs // victoria chang, to love anyone // 'smoke and fire 1' by jennifer walton // burn; vorsa // vita sackville-west, from 'solitude' // by spelio // arsonist's lullabye; hozier // shira erlichman, from 'how to become a forest fire'
#jc3#edit:rafael#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#oc web weaves#no taglist i just want to have this on mein blog. starting a new tag for it as well to get them organized and all#previous weaves have all been for pairings so ummm. yeas. that's different those will just go in the normal edit tag. trust me#my tagging system is normal and i'm normal. if you see this. hi. welcome#this web weave from top to bottom kind of reads like rafael's descent into his own destruction#establishing him as who he is- a firestarter. someone who goes against authority (for good reasons bc he lives in a dictatorship)#someone who fights for freedom but at the same time he's so full of rage and he holds a grudge against someone else in the story#which just. consumes him. he gets too caught up in his desire for control and he loses all his control with it to the point he burns#and he burns and he burns and he burns until there's nothing left... and then the web weave ends with establishing that he's always known#'i knew that something would always rule me / i knew the scent was mine alone' followed by 'everything burned as promised'#this was always meant to happen!! there was no other way for this story to end!! everything burned and everything rafael did#led up to it in the end. there was nothing he could've done to stop any of it because he started it. he started the fire#and it burned along with him. and i'm normal about that. ok bye
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Besides the intense drinking culture of both the Gallaghers and the general south side, the addiction gene from his parents you can never escape. A major, the near sole contributing factor of lips alcoholism is from college. He is almost entirely isolated. He is a first generation college student (high school was easy, it was nothing. He’s never done this before.) He’s from a “low income family”. Everyone else grew up “comfortably” (read: rich). He doesn’t know anyone and doesn’t have a way to connect, it’s near impossible when you’re different, you have these fundamentally different backgrounds and childhood experiences. But parties? Drinking? That’s what he can do, what everyone can do. And so he does. And then he just doesn’t stop. Why would he? It’s normal, it’s comfortable, it’s connecting, everyone loves a good party, that he can do. It feels like the only thing he knows.
#I don’t know how to end this. I just.#Idek if this makes sense !!#I think abt him a lot ok !!#he did not have the luxury of Instagram to connect him. I start college this fall. I’ve met 30-40 people alone and I’ve only visited campus#three times now. once for an interview. every year someone makes an Instagram page to post bios to meet people.#you end up following everyone from that. I just.#do you get what I mean.#god I need a smoke#I have something else I’m writing too I just.#losing it !!#I might come back to this later. with more thoughts.#I don’t wanna say he’s misunderstood but well. I don’t think everyone’s been the token smart kid. doing everything your siblinfs your#parents never could do. never wanted to do.#do you know how frustrating it is to be friends with people who grew up in different tax brackets than you?#I think lip was placed in gifted and talented programs and no one ever told him.#some I knew some I didn’t find out about until I graduated during rehearsal you get a bunch of documents and your record
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like it's just the way that outside of the BATB/POTO 'love what's ugly and ostracized' narrative itself cocteau was gay and everybody hated his gall about it, howard ashman was gay and had to conceal it and died of aids after finishing his work for disney's batb.... rather than have dark be homophobic and spitting in the face of his inspirational roots (the sole canon detail i can't stand) it's much much much more interesting for me to both read and write not someone who's meant to be a pervert (in humor) and an agape lover (in serious contextualization) only to turn and say 'no homo' to the crowd every single time but rather, instead of all that, someone who, simultaneously taking daisuke into account, is both extremely firm yet simultaneously insecure in the struggle to establish their identity not only in regards to themselves but also around others.
that applies to a lot, but i've been considering it especially in regards to dark's gender and daisuke's attractions. dark in my portrayal (while overall 500% nonbinary) is closer to someone bi-gender rather than agender; the feminine aspect to him isn't just theatrics, it's actively also part of his entirety to him, (compared to daisuke's passivity; the ten thousand canonical princess allusions,) and even if nobody ever recognizes it in a cognizant way, it is always, always there, the same way that erik blurs and obscures gender in leroux's novel (my second enormous inspiration, sugisaki's outright admitted primary) and sakurai occasionally discusses his relationship as both a performer and a person as well (my third enormous inspiration and sugisaki's secondary,) (see 1, 2.) simply put, the tragedy of (my!) dark does not ever derive from his being able to choose and sit comfortably and confidently with this sort of identity (in fact, it's one of the few things he can stubbornly, viciously decide for himself [alongside daisuke] as essentially a non-human, autonomous 'angel',) it's instead the way that his personality is so strong and 'anti-feminine' in the eyes of convention that said aspect of himself often gets disregarded for strictly masculine (and regardless, further self-contradictory and therefore isolating,) expectations.
dark himself alone does not care if others do not understand him; this is meant to be one of his far more admirable and impressive traits. he's staunchly independent: he knows who he is, what he's supposed to be, and he knows that if he actively presented himself more femininely (crossdressing to 'pass' essentially,) then people's behaviors WOULD be very likely to change around him, but he doesn't even do that because it goes against his overwhelming sense of pride. he never contorts, he never twists himself, what matters to him is that he and he alone understands himself and knows what he is, what he isn't. but he is, without proper support or acceptance, still alone. even bearing a strong character, the stifling loneliness and inherent, underlying self-sense of broken/wrongness of the 'other,' (god's luciferean problem child, the black sheep, the black-leather wearing punk,) is still inflicted on him. dark exists solely for himself, he exists solely for daisuke, which is simultaneously wherein the inversion and insecurities lie: if dark is canonically the live metaphor for all the aspects of daisuke's self that he attempts to and yet cannot possibly, conceivably repress, from his loves to his faults to his shames and his criminal sins as a thief, then the likes of daisuke's own personal confusions in regards to himself and his attempts at intimacy/socialization with others is the other, hidden side of dark's absolute self-confidence; it's every fear of perpetual isolation, misunderstanding, and abandonment for things outside of daisuke's own control.
queerness in relation to the self (transgender allegory) queerness in relation to others (non-hetero-romanticism) mental illness (depression, anxiety,) etc, etc, dark's thematic basis may at its most general simply be "a secret that feels wrong and that you feel you can't really tell anyone or else you'll get in trouble/won't be as liked as much" but it feels much better to give due respect to each of these primary roots.
#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.#reference.#'tsun r u angry about homophobic dark again' u can't take the guy everybody loves and is supposed to actively admire in the series#then have him say all the time he hates gays. when he's gay#DN's mothers and grandfathers are all gay sakurai was smashing his head against that boundary even in the 90s ish#what's not clicking#this is not a particularly well thought out ramble btw#i just think it's important that dark as a character (mine i mean) has a particular kind of struggle that isn't often actively touched on#which is being strong but lonely. deeply independent but out of necessity. he doesn't need assurance per se; just acceptance#as yes. still a young child. /a teenager./ not an adult.#even though he's constantly putting his entirety into subtly. selflessly giving (just as shamelessly as he takes as a thief)#dark really. does not get a lot back. and it's even at the point where he doesn't want it either bc hes the 'responsible' one#it's often that people lose interest in him once this stuff comes into play because suddenly he's less attractive for being 'complicated'#and/or bc he's not a 'real' girl. or he's not 'fem' enough (again: strong personality. opposite of a waifish damsel)#nvm me getting followed once by an all fem muse blog that said no fem+fem shipping 😭😂 what the hell even was that#dark counts himself as 'male' he counts himself as 'female' he counts himself as 'other' he just doesn't want to connect with 'none'#because he and basically all the other arts also are all 'none' from the start. they're artworks. canonically their pronouns are all over#the place too. in dark's case he only uses he/him because he is. an ore-sama chara. but i hope#everybody who ever comes into my house (blog) knows him and mine very specifically#as an ore-sama ojou-sama. that's what Mine Is#the same way daisuke is christine. is sleeping beauty. is gerda from the snow queen. but also the cursed prince#ok? ok#ok. im going to cook now#like i love riku but we do not need to bash gay ppl to have a happy het shoujo romance#riku couldve had a cute gf if she wanted. the gf couldve been dai. couldve been dark. :/#'daisuke was originally to be a girl but there weren't a lot of romances from boys' perspectives' and he still can be both. this is how
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its so hard to talk about how traumatic it is to watch somebody be claimed by dementia without going "well i cant complain because at least i wasnt the one losing my mind (for now)" but that shit fucks you up so much. that ghost is going to haunt me for the rest of my life and all i can do is hope it Stays a ghost
#tiddytaco#b#thinking about it rn bc today while i was driving my mom home from pt#she saw someone she knew from years ago driving & was like FOLLOW THAT CAR & we met them in a parking lot#& the conversation turned to 'hey what the hell happened to your parents' pretty quickly bc our families hadnt been in touch#& it was a long conversation in the hobby lobby parking lot#& idk if itll ever Stop being fresh in my mind but now its Extra fresh in my mind#that whole time period was just so insane & awful#bc it was like Ok we're caring for both grandparents#& then my grandpa died#& all our pets at the time were very old#& when he died it occurred to me that we could easily lose both grandparents and all 3 pets within the year#it turned out to be like a long drawn-out year & a half from the first to the last#& looking back it seems impossible that is was that short a time period bc it felt like an eternity#we got off easy with grandpa bc he died before it got too bad but with grandma it just kept getting Worse#& the climax of the caring experience was traveling to take her to my uncle bc he wanted to take his shift caring for her#& that was so . So bad. SO bad#like it literally could not have gone more smoothly and it was SO bad#just thinking about it i feel like im there again i get so stressed out
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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world's most well-adjusted daughter
#mizuki okiura#okiura mizuki#aitsf#ok now spoilies for that game in the next tags. if u do not tag aini spoilers and aitsf i guess then thats on u#aitsf spoilers#aini spoilers#ai the somnium files#aini#mizuki date#u ever think abt how little time mizuki got to be mizuki date with her dad before everything in aini went to shit#i can acknowledge it follows the res route without being happy that its like BAM ok now mizuki's lost her parent AGAIN#anyways thinking abt how messed up itd feel to lose the same eye date lost but now ofc he's lost so like. salt in the wound#and ik u/ch/////iko///shi said she stays w others who help her get back on her feet but like god i imagine she's resentful that it ended up#that shes stuck in a situation like this#maybe take it as a redesign too idk i have so many overwhelming thoughts abt a mizuki that did Not cope with it as 'well' as she did in ain#hence covering her eye. a more date inspired look still mixed w her old design too#my art#yea nvm the more i think abt it the more this is less redesign and more post-explosion route in aini#shes got her backpack..... her missing eye......... girls gone thru it all
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Twiststuck stuff i just wanna get out
Im a huge Cater multi-shipper
Normally this wouldn't be a problem
BUT I CAN'T HAVE ALMOST EVERYONE IN THIS AU HAVE A FLUSH OR PALE CRUSH ON HIM THAT'S ABSURD!!!
#froge post#twiststuck#... theres so many good ships tho.#like riddle pale crush on him would be SO cute.#Though Riddle doesn't go through with it? Buuuut still might have lingering feelings of red and pale in the future?#(I will say this; Riddle ends up breaking quads but its Trey <> riddle but Trey is also his Auspistice. This freaks him out at first)#and Idia having a flush crush would be really funny too cause of how outgoing cater is#and idia's mind is like “woa... alien find me fun to be around?” and he gets a flush crush#I've already confirmed that Jade has a Pale/Flush crush on Cater though Jade isn't sure which one it is.#Jade also seems like the kinda troll who would mix his romances like doesn't quite follow quadrants and instead breaks them#Obviously Trey and Cater being in a relationship is a thing.#past or present? idk. but they've got something going on.#Malleus <3 Cater would be so good too#Prince Malleus learning about humans/ communication and other things from Cater and gains feelings of some kind Pale to Flush or something#Pale Crush Ace i think is a good idea but then Ace gets over it pretty quick. Same with Deuce probs. (these two red tho)#ROOK AND CATER?! LIKE ok that's a biiit of a Crackship? but like here me out???#Like Rook loves learning but also he's “trapped” in that little room and manages to see the world from Cater's pictures#and falls a bit for the photographer? who manages to capture the beauty of NRCBurb or whatever i call the game dfjsalkf#Vil and Cater is also good albeit probably one-sided on Cater's part? Though I can imagine Cater doing the good ol Sacrifice for him.#Cater will throw himself in harms away alot in this au actually.#if i write a narrative for it#Kalim and Cater being “Pale” despite both being human. Like Cater reigns Kalim in from his extravagant plans with more lowkey plans#also Cater did pretty much sacrifice himself for Kalim in the Playful Land event! so there's another point for self sacrificial Cater#I saw Jamil x Cater one time and I thought that was cute so that might be a one off joke-ish moment#floyd flush crush cater is also probably a one off joke too#during the “Jade thinks Cater is a purple blood era” and then loses interest when learning Cater is human. probably#watch me come up with more after posting#HOW DID THIS GET SO LONG HELLO???#Cater Diamond#twst
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Isagi losing to Rin again will be very and I mean very mid writing on knsr’s part
If he can’t beat Rin here he might as well give up on being the number one striker atp
#passagi this assistsagi that people will be insufferable and with good reason#if you can’t show off your ability to consistently score goals compared to your fellows then well..#we’re almost 300 chapters in and still haven’t made it to u20 yet there’s likely to be another training arc(short) before u20#if the series ends at u20 then this is literally the last time for isagi to prove himself against rin#this is Isagi’s story so I expect to see him at least become the number by the end of it the real question is how long till we get there#forever praying we get a bllk part 2 manga and we can follow his journey to number 1 there#if that I’ll be ok with him losing to rin again (still mid)#blue lock#bllk#isagi yoichi
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Can you people stop putting those "Don't honk at me I'll cry" stickers on your cars it only makes me want to run you off the road and I'm not joking
#sorry i woke up spicy and i saw a post abt bumper stickers and went hmm#if any of my mutuals have one of those stickers then dont worry i still love you#but every time i see one of those in public (has happened about 3 times now. maybe more) i immediately honk at them#like. stop it ur an adult. you can be cutesy somewhere else but driving is real world business#hmmm. posts that are probably going to lose me followers#ah well#ruby rambles#ok to rb#cars
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wanted to share the sentiment here too but didn't feel like rewriting the whole thing lmao so here are some Thoughts i had last night on twt regarding my weird relationship with my art whilst being in fandom:
i know i've definitely talked about this kind of thing in the past but it's been a very recent development that i actually understand what's been going on with me and why i've picked up this habit of letting a fandom i'm in / a piece of media i'm really into fully dictate my creative drive. like, just because i'm very interested or invested in something, it doesn't mean i necessarily feel inspired by it or inspired by it for the duration that it holds my interest, and forcing myself to create relative art or fic or what have you for the vested interest(s) has both dampened my desire to be creative as well as my imagination. i know a lot of people can be super into something or a few random things at once and that can keep them going for ages without them running out of ideas, but in my case, things that hold my interest aren't always synonymous with my creativity and i'm just now learning that despite how obvious it seems!
i also imagine i'm not the only person who functions like this but i personally haven't seen it spoken about very often (if it even needs to idk), so i wanted to bring it up / talk about it a little bit :)
#art things#alex talks#if you've been following me for awhile or at least saw this coming before i did: does it not at all seem obvious lmao#i think the guilt i was feeling for so long over it being my 'obligation' as an artist in any fandom to only cater to fandom was also#exacerbated by some kind of impostor syndrome like... wait why is this so easy for other people also into x but not me?#makes sense now why i seem to lose steam so fast when i'm making work for one thing at a time only#i need to spice it up!! even if i come back to something eventually i can't force it!#thank u adhd my behated for another extension of my executive dysfunction but i guess#i will learn to work with it :) shedding the guilt has been the hardest part and ik i'll still struggle at times to be inspired or feel#like i need to be doing something specific to cater to other people rather than go with what drives me at the moment but#that's ok! that's life!#here's to me making a lot more art / general creative stuff 🫡 i hope the utter randomness of what i have in store#appeases at least one other person 🫶#sidenote 1d fics will still be eventually finished but 1d art.... we'll have to see bc of the ipad wipe :')#also haven't been in the mood for awhile tbh! been into another stuff and less generally hyperfixated (thank god)#anyway onto better days and more creation!!
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Listened to too much The Orion Experience while drawing Hassel. Could not physically restrain myself from drawing self ship art…. I’m. Sorry ghgh.
#‘why don’t u just draw the other Hassel ships that you really like instead of cringe self ship stuff pepper?’#iDK! I don’t fucking know! something is wrong w my brain!!! I guess!#I do. I do rlly love Hassel x brassius. they’re married.#but also… it’s an open relationship. so they sometimes include Larry. and also. me. gGHG-#iDKKKK MAN….. I JUST LOVE HIM!!!!!#i felt the urge to draw self ship art so I did. there’s ur explanation#every time I saw this motherfucker pop up on my switch screen I started smiling uncontrollably and kickin my feet around and shit.#I can’t! deny that I like this Pokémon old man! this is just the truth!#goD I HAVENT EVEN#I haven’t even gotten to the elite four yet I’m so hype. to fight him#I did finish all his art class things tho! and I fucking… love him.. he’s my babygirl…#he’s brassius’ babygirl too.. our babygirl… we can have joint babygirl privileges..#Hassel has two hands!!! ok! it’s fine ghghg#probably.. not gonna post this to my twitter tho.. cuz. I don’t wanna lose a bunch of followers gGH#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon#hassel#elite four hassel#self ship#si x canon#doodles
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ok I genuinely think @is-the-owl-video-cute has gone off the deep end. what makes you act like that on the internet for real. I don’t even have a real stock in this bullshit drama but they are just the most reactionary asshole to people? how can y’all look up to them they are genuinely so immature and pissy. they’ve been throwing a fit over users they personally dislike and using absolutely no proof at all to say they doxxed ppl. there’s like zero proof other than they don’t like them LMAO. can y’all log the fuck off please?? before someone actually gets hurt??
#is-the-owl-video-cute#yeah I’m tagging actually I hope ppl searching for drama see this and get a reality check#I saw that archived link what the actual fucking shit in hell were they thinking typing that?#they arent fucking animal murderers. they don't like the way scout handles their media presence or their farm#but that doesn’t mean they doxxed them and there is zero evidence to suggest as much. they’ve said they didn’t so like. nothing to go on.💀#(frankly also. scout and owlvid should be able to handle criticism and disagreements like normal fucking people#instead of flying off the handle literally every single time. like it’s a pattern)#I think both of them should just log off until they learn to handle this shit in a normal way#and without encouraging their impressionable followers to go on witch-hunts after ppl.#especially bc they don’t like it when it happens to them?? yet they say NOTHING when their followers start harassing ppl?? telling lol#I can’t stand it. y’all aren’t educators and you will never be the end all be all of every opinion you have. stop assuming such.#owlvid has had wildly inaccurate ‘facts’ about rabbits before but acting like they KNOW this shit is infuriating.#I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that every ‘is the x animal cute’ blog has gone to shit and up a creek though#just particularly disappointed in owlvid and scout for the way they’ve handled this#while KNOWING the amount of followers that would swallow their boots all the way their their head if they could#like. cmon. you can say you don’t know enough abt this subject to comment. it’s ok.#and I think scout should be able to handle and address criticisms abt their cows without losing it every single time like#I’ve never met a good farmer that can’t handle criticism for their animals. it’s part of the job you won’t please everyone#and if you are planning on being an educator you have to be able to handle those criticisms with a level head and understanding.#that’s not what owlvid OR scout do. they are influencers on a power trip.#if you want respect you have to give it. not one of the dreaded rabbit people have been disrespectful about their criticism.#it is not so the other way around and that’s telling as hell#the only time I’ve seen these apparently evil sadistic rabbit bloggers make sardonic or disrespectful (I guess?) comments is on their own#and when they’re frustrated about being labeled like they kick puppies for fun for being a fucking normal ass farmer lol#you’d think maybe scout would be able to get that. maybe not so much owlvid bc they don’t seem to understand rural animal care#for the record I’m not looking at any of these blogs involved with scrutinizing detail bc I have better things to do#but I have kept an eye on the situation w scout and animal control being called and how it got twisted into ‘doxxing and swatting’#by high strung ppl who should not have been online#I value my blood pressure too much the urge to just turn off my phone overcomes any desire to look through the drama
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