#oh the dad is imitating her lisp yeah this is going... well

[lamphous]

torrenting the documentary on natalia grace out of pure schadenfreude and hooo boy the abled patting on the back of how they are for sharing their "thirteen TV fourteen couches" "mcmansion" (< direct quotes) American Dream with a Disabled Foreign Orphan! is... well it's not unexpected for an ID channel joint but it's still absurdly overt lmao. literally the number of times someone out loud says "we wanted to give her the love she had never ever had and never would have, poor child" I mean...

and that's not even getting into the I Was Never Able To Accept My Son's Autism Until I Monetized It Through Blogging mom off-camera

[little-werewolf-oven]

The Parent Escape: Ch. 14

Read it on AO3

CHAPTER 14: Truth Serum

Billy’s shocked he still has a bed that night.  That Judy didn’t kick him out the second he’d told her he’d kissed Steve.  He wouldn’t have blamed her, really.  Not only was he a <i>fag</i>, but he was a fag who’d made her son’s life <i>infinitely</i> more complicated.  Breaking up with his girlfriend, nearly screwing his best friend… how do you come back from that? 

But Judy sits with him, lets him get it all out, even keeps a hand on his arm for the most of it, a solid weight anchoring him to the moment.  Judy <i>knows,</i> and she’s not screaming at him, or running from him, or disgusted by him.  No, he knows disgust on a person’s face, seen it enough to be able to pick it out from a line-up of emotions.  Judy’s face is concerned, maybe even a bit overwhelmed, but not disgusted.  

“So, is Steve…?”  Billy shrugs.

“I don’t know.  Pretty sure he likes both?”

“But you don’t.”  Not a question.  Billy shakes his head, covering his face with his hands, wishing, and not for the first time, that he could hide away from the rest of the world.  Just sink into nothingness.  He feels fingers wrap around his right wrist, gently pulling his hand down. 

“Billy, <i>nothing</i> is wrong with you.”  He blinks at her, free hand wiping at the tears still clinging to his lashes.  “Life is… things are <i>complicated</i>, but we’ll get through it.” She pauses, still holding onto his wrist.  “And it might not be my place to say, but I think you should tell Steve.”

“That I’m gay?”

“That you’re <i>Billy</i>.”  Billy stops moving entirely.  Stops breathing.  The idea of confessing, telling Steve it wasn’t his best friend he’d been playing kissy-face with, but some <i>stranger</i>, a stranger who’s been <i>lying</i> to him… no.  He can’t.  He can’t have the last look Steve gives him be one of contempt.  

Right now Steve looks at him like he cares, like <i>likes</i> him. He can’t lose that.  

“No.  No I- I can’t.” He pulls his arm out of her grip, “Jason can get it all sorted out.  I know he can.  And I’ll just- I’ll go to California and handle Neil.  Fair trade.”  Judy looks for all the world like she wants to argue, but her mouth remains firmly shut.  

God he’s going to miss her. 

Billy takes himself upstairs after that, drained of absolutely all energy. Between Kim, Steve, and Judy, he’s spent. 

Even so, as he lays his head on the pillow, he’s still thinking about Steve.  There’s a part of him, a very small part, that sees Judy’s point.  Him being the one to tell Steve would allow him to control the narrative, explain things in such a way that maybe Steve wouldn’t hate him after learning the truth.  But what <i>could</i> he say?  <i>”Sorry, the guy you thought you were kissing is in California meeting his abusive dad for the first.  I’m the twin brother keeping his life here warm.  Want to make out again?”</i>   He flips around and shoves his face into the pillow, screaming into the fibers. Doesn’t care if Judy can hear him, if he wakes Lyle up. Just screams. 

And then he passes out. 

++++++

He wakes to an extremely dry mouth and a headache, doesn’t know if it’s from the beer or the emotional overload. All he knows is that he’s not looking forward to today.  His stomach tightens as he recounts everything he’d told Judy, everything she likely told Lyle.  The fact that no one stormed in and threw him out is at least a good sign.  He relaxes into the mattress for another minute before hoisting himself out of bed.  

There’s a note sitting on the counter again, and Billy’s mind immediately goes into overdrive guessing what it says.  Maybe it’s another grocery/chore list.  Maybe it’s a retraction of Judy’s kind words last night.  Maybe it’s Lyle telling him to get out. Find his own way back to California. 

His fingers tremble as he reaches for it, pencil lines so light on the yellow legal pad he needs to raise it up closer to his face to read it. 

<i>Billy,

Wanted to make sure you felt like your own self.  Feel free to get some new clothes. No limit but try not to go <u>too</u> crazy.

-Uncle Lyle</i>

His hands are still lightly shaking as he looks down, expecting to find a few bills left behind for him, but his eyes catch instead on a small plastic card with two circles on it, <i>Lyle Scott</i> embossed on the bottom. 

Holy shit, he’d left him his credit card. 

How fucking trusting <i>are</i> these people?

His mind races with the possibilities, thinks on the fantasies he would entertain back home about what he would do if he suddenly had access to money.  Gas up the Camaro, load up on his favorite foods, buy a new jacket and some boots, an earring, maybe a few tapes, drive as fast as he could out of Emeryville.  But, as he looks at the card still sitting on the counter, he realizes... he has all of that here.  And he’s <i>choosing</i> to go back to live with Neil, finish his senior year, and leave on his own terms. 

But, there’s no reason he can’t do it in some new clothes.  

Unfortunately, and unsurprisingly, Hawkins has a severe lack of style.  Billy drives around for an hour trying to find someplace that’s not a department store which might sell something other than Lacoste polos.  It’s like some cruel joke of the universe, the irony that he gets his hands on a credit card and there’s <i>nothing</i> worth buying. 

Well, maybe not <i>nothing</i>, he’s got a couple pairs of jeans hanging over his arm, a button up shirt he thinks he could make work with some adjustments, and a pack of socks.  He’s poking through some T-shirts when he hears a familiar voice behind him, and nearly dives into the center of the rack to avoid detection.

“Hey! Jason!”  Too late. 

“Hey,” Billy fixes on a fake smile and turns to greet Steve and… a child?  The smile immediately drops into a frown as he tries to remember <i>anything</i> Jason might have mentioned about Steve having a younger brother.  Not that the kid looks a thing like him, but why else would he be hanging around some middle schooler? Shit, is he supposed to know who this is?  Is he <i>seriously</i> going to get outed on his <i>last day</i> because of this weird half-human?  

“See I <i>told you</i> he wouldn’t remember me!” The kid lisps out, and Billy has to fight the instinct to take a step back.  What’s wrong with this kid’s <i>teeth?</i> 

“It’s just cause you grew up so much at camp,” Steve palms the kid’s ballcap, giving him some friendlier version of a noogie and pushing the bill over his eyes while glaring at Billy and mouthing what was probably the kid’s name but looked like fuck-all to Billy, who shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head in response, making Steve throw his head back and roll his eyes.  Drama queen. 

“<I>Dustin</i>,” oh <i>now</i> Billy understands the exaggerated mouth motions, “wanted some advice on clothes for the new school year.” Billy pops up an eyebrow, gives Steve a slow once-over: short sleeved striped polo tucked into stone-washed pegged jeans and high top Nikes.

“And he went to <i>you</i>?” 

“Uh, <i>yeah</i>,” Steve props his hands on his hips, “last I checked only <i>one</i> of us in here was voted Hawkins High Best Dressed Guy 1984.”  And Billy tries, okay?  He tries not to laugh, but the snort is coming and there’s no stopping it.  He turns his head at least, laughing more into his shoulder than right at Steve’s face, but the damage is done. 

Steve narrows his eyes and crosses his arms in front of his chest, “Oh yeah, yeah?  Well, what have you got there, then?” He motions with his elbow, indicating the small pile of clothes Billy has slung over his arm.

“Clothes, Harrington.  You that far out of style?”  And god, Billy is going to miss this, needling this boy until he makes the cutest, poutiest faces.  Steve’s lips are pursed, eyes bright, brows drawn.

“Gonna show us, then?” Billy grins, breath huffing out of his nose as he tilts his head down toward the floor, then back up, eyelids heavy as he looks at Steve. 

“What you want a little fashion show?”  Steve raises his eyebrows and clucks his tongue as he pops up his left shoulder, a poor imitation of nonchalance that Billy is eating up.  He’ll put on a fuckin’ show, alright-

“What the hell is going on?” And shit, Billy totally forgot there was anyone else here. He shoots a look at the kid; baggy shorts and vest over a dingy orange t-shirt, hair a mess under a ballcap.  How in the hell did Harrington get saddled with someone like this? 

“Watch and learn, short stack,” Billy says, making his way back to the changing rooms.  He hears light arguing behind him, doesn’t turn to check and see if they’re following. Doesn’t really care either way, but still grins when he turns to go into the tiny walled off space and sees Steve in his peripheral, taking a seat in the makeshift waiting area.  

Once the door is latched he shimmies out of Jason’s pants, half-tempted to fling them over the partition, before grabbing the new pair.  They’re a size smaller than Jason wears, cut to fit more comfortably over the boots that are waiting for him back in California.  He has to hop a little to get them on, tight as they are, but grins when he turns and sees himself in the mirror.  Now <i>that’s</i> an ass.  Gives it a little wiggle and a slap before shucking off his t-shirt and slipping the button-up over his shoulders.  He fastens only the bottom two, leaving a long V leading to his navel, rolls the sleeves and tucks the tails into his jeans before zipping up.  Takes a long moment to appreciate himself in the mirror, breathing in, and exhaling slowly.  <i>This</i> is Billy Hargrove.  He runs a hand through his hair, disrupting the pomade he’d used to smooth it down this morning, letting the curls that have been growing back in run free.  God<i>damn</i> but he looks good.  

“Hey!”  He hears Steve’s shout, “you gonna stay in there all day?  We still got things to do!”  Billy grins, biting his lip, loving that Steve is still out there, knows he’d probably wait around at least another five minutes if Billy decided to primp some more.  He throws his shoulders back, making them look even broader, gets a practiced, lazy grin on his face, and strides out the door. 

“Geezus Harrington, don’t get your panties in a twist,” he drawls, making his way to where Steve and the hobbit are waiting.  He flexes a little, brings his hand back up through his hair, purposely avoids looking at Steve’s face until he’s right in front of him, and when he finally looks down it does <i>not</i> disappoint.  Steve’s eyes are wide, lips pink and shiny, just barely parted as he stares up at Billy, who smirks and cocks an eyebrow. 

“Whaddya think?”

“Are pants <i>supposed</i> to be that tight?”  The kid lisps out, and before Billy can snark back at him Steve is shoving some money into his little gremlin hands.

“Hey, I gotta- I’ll meet you at the arcade in a while, kay?”

“But you promised we’d go clothes shopping!”

“And we will!  Just, I forgot I was supposed to do something with Jason first.”  Hearing that name is like a stab to the chest.  For the first time in nearly two weeks Billy’s really been able to feel like himself, <i>look</i> like himself, and Steve <i>still</i> only sees Jason.  The rational part of Billy’s brain knows that it’s not Steve’s fault, per se, but still, it <i>stings</i>. Makes him want to lash out or run away.  And with a deep breath, he chooses the latter. 

“Nah, man, you promised the kid, go with the kid.”  He turns to go back into the changing room, but is stopped as Steve jumps up and grabs his elbow.  

“Hey, uh,” he drops his voice low, “if you need help taking those off, they’re like, <i>really</i> tight-” Billy shakes off his grip.

“Get back to babysitting,” he tosses out, but at the crestfallen look on Steve’s face, adds, “maybe I’ll need help later.”  God, this guy is like a drug Billy can’t quit.  Seconds ago he was ready to turn tail and never see him again, now he’s practically given him a hand-written invitation into his pants.  Steve smiles, gives him a dorky salute and walks backward for a few steps, unabashedly checking out Billy’s ass before turning back toward the kid.   

But it’s not like Billy can complain, it <i>is</i> a great ass.

READ THE REST AT AO3~

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 😒 Janis: already sick of 'em and they ain't even here yet Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Them or Gracie, like? Janis: 🔨📍on the head there Janis: being such a twat and dad's made enough tapas to sink several ships Janis: coming here to experience our culture, not their own imitated, ffs Jimmy: If I put on an accent can I grab some of that? Jimmy: Starving here Janis: as long as you lisp at grace that she looks fine Janis: about to facetime you Janis: so important, obviously Jimmy: Coming here to experience our culture, mate 👍 Janis: who's culture now? Jimmy: Grace's by the sounds Jimmy: You can leave her too it after a quick hola Jimmy: You should be #buzzing Janis: yeah, great as it is she's offering herself up for entertainment Janis: still gonna be a random twat in my gaff for however long it even is Janis: do the school do background checks? doubt it Janis: could be a murderer, or from a family of murderers and he's scoping us out for when we turn up with our spanglish Jimmy: It's alright, you can come and be the random twat in my gaff Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Can't handle it? 💪 Ultimate challenge to accept, that is Jimmy: 🥊💀 Janis: so sweet 💘 Janis: let's face it, better taking my chances with them than with your dad, ain't I Jimmy: Bring 'em round they'll soon wanna pack up and do one Jimmy: Can't get a warmer welcome Janis: At least we live in a fucking city Janis: googled where they're from earlier Janis: middle of fucking nowhere doesn't cover it Janis: been stitched up big time lads Jimmy: Unlucky Jimmy: You'd have been better off coming on a trip down memory lane to my old Northern haunts. Least we aren't pretending its nowt but shite Janis: Seriously Janis: do my report on all the weird shit you so Janis: more 🤔 than spanish tbh Jimmy: #realtalk Jimmy: When they showing themselves? Time wise, not for the twats they are, like, that'll be immediate Janis: Ha, we're picking 'em up tonight, let them have a day off tomorrow before they have to join us in hell, like Janis: Pablo reckons he's already scoped out the decents girls, if you would like that list forwarded to you, sure it can be arranged Jimmy: I was gonna ask if I could see you but there's a better offer if I ever heard one Jimmy: Tah mate Janis: he's just shouted his snapchat handle down the stairs Janis: such a delight Jimmy: Here's hoping he can get some lasses to agree or 💔🎻 Janis: love to reckon the spanish girls have got a bit more about 'em than the locals Janis: but i ain't the optimistic one Jimmy: Either way, unlucky for him or Grace Jimmy: Gonna be a laff finding out who'll come out the winner Janis: yeah, it's the little things, ain't it babe Janis: one of us needs to be not 😖🔫 about it Jimmy: aww mate Janis: I know Janis: tragic Janis: all I wanted was the easy pass and a ticket outta here Jimmy: Let's go then Jimmy: Can't get in the shit for not being a welcome wagon if they can't find you Janis: Ha, where? Janis: Nowhere in Dubo far away enough that I won't get dragged back in order to save my last shred of good manners Jimmy: Can just drive, can't we? Jimmy: See where the road takes us Janis: sounding so dad rock babe 😘 Janis: better not, gracie would fucking love that Jimmy: Piss off. Was gonna sing you a power ballad but now you can whistle Jimmy: Yeah, good reason as any then Janis: aww please 🙏 Jimmy: Come find me and I'll think about it Janis: Playing hide and seek now? Janis: honestly, the europeans are coming and you've gone all melodramatic and fruity Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Only in my second home, aren't I? Jimmy: Your true love makes better decisions than you, happy to run off with me she was Janis: Don't wanna do her down 'cos she's suddenly competition but she'd go with anyone with a pocketful of treats Janis: #jussayin #truthtea #scalding Jimmy: Don't need to be telling me, you're the one 😍💕 I've always seen her for the bitch she is Janis: Yeah well you're as bad as I am, according to general consensus here 🤷 Jimmy: You what? Jimmy: Who's chatting shit about me now Janis: 😂 Janis: no need to 🥊 up quite yet Janis: when ur biggest fan turns Janis: knew it couldn't last forever Jimmy: when she isn't excited about the Spanish lads, just how busy you'll be with 'em Jimmy: still trying to snatch me #long game Janis: oh mate Janis: ain't gonna deflate your massive head to bring you down, like Janis: sure that's the master plan Jimmy: 😎 Janis: come at me then fucking... Janis: rodrigo and Janis: juan Jimmy: I'm pissing myself Jimmy: Just shit up some random nan Jimmy: Hope she isn't a mate of yours Janis: The grey hair massive Janis: you'll find out soon enough 👊 Jimmy: 💪 ready as I'm gonna be Janis: don't tell her i've been training you Janis: the betrayal Jimmy: Strong, silent type, me Janis: 😏 code for moody twat if i've ever heard it Jimmy: Oi Janis: 💞 Jimmy: You better be walking to meet us Jimmy: Hanging round like a dickhead in case, like Janis: Yes, dear 🙄 Janis: dad needed more ingredients so easy out in the end Jimmy: He's done you one favor then Jimmy: And me, since I burned my bridges with that 👵 Janis: no GILFs tonight boy Jimmy: Good Janis: ah the romance Jimmy: You have that when you show up Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Yeah, Twix gives the best hellos 👅 Jimmy: Funny Janis: don't be jelly Janis: hot houseguest ain't even here yet Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: Don't remind me Janis: as if he will be, gonna be some poor greasy spic Jimmy: Find out soon enough Janis: anyway, Gracie'd have my hand off if he was Janis: no chance 😂 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Gutted for you, mate Janis: Ikr Janis: Really feel it Jimmy: I do Jimmy: Get a move on, I wanna see you before it's dark Janis: tell you what, keep it coming with the lines tonight, babe Janis: never heard that before 😳 Jimmy: It's not Janis: yeah well Janis: you know Jimmy: Yeah Janis: she literally ran out of hairspray Janis: tells you how my day has been Janis: no point going home if i pick up the wrong one, like Jimmy: Don't then Jimmy: Snuck you in and outta here enough times to know what I'm doing Janis: Don't tempt me Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Yeah and I've got the rep Janis: s'all you Jimmy: Not sorry Janis: I know you ain't Janis: shameless Jimmy: I want you, no shame in it Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: My day's been about missing you, mate Janis: I missed you too Jimmy: We got a lot of time to make up but I'm up for that Jimmy: Been thinking about you a lot Janis: Really? You can tell me all about it when I get there then Jimmy: I will Janis: Gonna have to go back to yours, like Janis: park's seen enough action, and that's just from Twix 😶 Jimmy: Filthy bitch, she is Jimmy: It's alright, pops ain't there as per Janis: don't care if he is Jimmy: Big talk Janis: if you doubt i can back it up then Janis: ✌ Jimmy: Not saying that Jimmy: I like it Janis: good Jimmy: You're good Janis: Got more work to do if you think that Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: not how it works, accepting on my behalf but good to know you're a willing participant like Janis: awkward at this point to find out otherwise Jimmy: And there's gonna be enough #awks when the exchange kids roll up Janis: ugh Janis: don't remind me Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: How long they gonna be about? Janis: 2 weeks then same over there Jimmy: 😒 Janis: I know Janis: 'cos odds are at least one or two of 'em will be unbearable Janis: likely more, we don't need to add any more twats to the pot Jimmy: I'm the foreign dickhead in these parts, lads Jimmy: No room for you Janis: n'awh no more new boy shine forreal Jimmy: 💔 Janis: end of an era, mate Jimmy: Fully gutted Janis: you'll always have tam Jimmy: Thank god 💍 Jimmy: Girl's committed Janis: Yeah, so ride or die Janis: one hoe that is loyal Jimmy: ride or die like she might kill me Janis: I mean Janis: you keep playing Janis: girl gon snap Jimmy: you gonna protect me or what? Janis: who am i to stand in the way of true love Janis: or that girl's reach Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: It was quality when you smacked Mia though, not even mad you also decked me Jimmy: Good times Janis: years in the making that one Janis: when bae LOVES the pain 😏 Jimmy: Is she having a Spaniard because they better love it if it's a yeah Janis: Duh Janis: love the clout of being like here, have the west wing Janis: no idea what hers is like, poor fucker regardless Jimmy: She should've bowed out like I did Jimmy: Talk about doing a runner Janis: shoulda woulda coulda Janis: too late now Jimmy: Whoever she gets won't say no to me Jimmy: You had your chance, mate Janis: Shut up Jimmy: You getting jealous of a fictional foreign kid over there, like? Janis: You wish Jimmy: I do Jimmy: It's quality when you try and fake that you aren't Janis: 🖕 i hate u Jimmy: You don't Janis: okay, hate's a bit strong, like Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cute Janis: give you cute in a minute Jimmy: I know Jimmy: Come here to me then

[hislittlesecret-phff]

Chapter Three

“Why was Auntie Jane so mean?” Maisie asked, as she followed Harry into the palace, clutching a bag full of toys and clothes to her chest.

“She just wanted you to go and live with her instead,” Harry explained, hauling the bag of Maisie’s things over his shoulder and pulling a suitcase with his other hand. “And she doesn’t like me.”

“Why?” she asked, shocked that someone could dislike someone else.

“I don’t know, she’s a crazy lady,” he said, laughing lightly and making Maisie giggle too. “But now we’re home.”

“Can we watch Frozen tonight?”

“No, Maisie, remember what I said? We’re going to have dinner over at Uncle William and Auntie Kate’s.”

“The princess?”  Her eyes widened with excitement.

He chuckled. “Yes, the princess. But don’t call her that, okay? She’s Auntie Kate to you, okay?”

Maisie nodded, following Harry into the apartment. Harry groaned slightly as he set her bags down, and Maisie giggled, copying him. He narrowed his eyes at her.

“Were you mocking me?” he said slowly.

“No,” Maisie said, trying not to giggle.

“Good, because otherwise I would have to teach you a lesson,” he said, smirking. “I would have to tickle you, you know.”

“I wasn’t mocking,” she said, reaching up so he would pick her up. Together they carried all her stuff into the spare room – which was now her room – and Harry started to unpack her clothes, hanging them up in the wardrobe as Maisie arranged her cuddly toys on her bed. “Daddy, we need to get my doll’s house from mummy’s house.”

“Your doll’s house?” Harry asked, frowning, and then he remembered what Jane had said. This is only half of her stuff, the half that we felt she needed. We still need to go through all of Jane’s things and empty the house. I guess you’ll have to come and get the rest of Maisie’s stuff then. “Oh yeah, don’t worry darling, we’ll get that soon.”

“Okay,” Maisie said, sitting cross-legged on the bed as she watched Harry hang up her clothes. “I don’t like this room.”

“You don’t like it?” he asked, his heart falling.

“It’s boring,” she said, looking round it.

“Boring?” Harry quoted, sitting down beside her and tickling her gently. “Well, what would make it more interesting? Should we paint it?”

“Yeah!” she said excitedly.

“What colour should we paint it?”

“Pink!”

“Pink, eurgh!” he said, pretending to be sick. “Not in my house we’re not.”

“Please!” Maisie said, hugging him tightly.

“Hmm,” he said, pretending to be lost in mock thought. “I’ll think about it.”

“Yay!” she said, clambering into his lap to hug him somehow even tighter, and he chuckled.

“I’ll tell you what,” he said, pulling her tiny hands into his so she would look up at him. “How about we make a deal? If you behave yourself this week at your new school, you get to pain your room whatever colour you like.”

“Okay!” Maisie said instantly.

“Okay? You have to be a very good girl…”

“I will!” she said, delighted. Then, once he’d returned to unpacking her bags, she frowned slightly. “What school I start?”

“It’s called Fox Primary School,” he explained gently. “It’s just round the corner from here. Edward went and spoke to the head master yesterday, and he’s arranged everything.”

“Are the people nice?” Maisie asked shyly.

“Oh yes, they’re the nicest people ever,” he said. “That’s why you get to go there, because you’re an extra nice person too.”

“Do I have to wear uniform?”

“Of course, everywhere has to wear uniform.”

“No, Mummy watches a TV programme and the children don’t wear uniform to school,” Maisie said defiantly.

Harry chuckled. “In the UK, we all do.” She pouted, and he smiled at her. “We need to go and get buy it tomorrow.”

“It’s different from mine?” she asked, thinking of the checked blue dresses that she’d worn to her old school.

“Yeah, you have to buy it from the school, you can’t get it from Asda,” he said lightly. “Is that okay?”

She considered, then nodded.

“May, do you still remember what Daddy’s job is?”

“You’re a prince!” she said, happy that she knew the answer.

“No, do you remember what Mummy used to say Daddy’s job was?”

She thought for a moment. “Soldier.”

“Yeah, I’m a soldier. So if, when you’re at school, anyone asks you that, you need to say that I’m a soldier, okay? Not a prince.”

“Soldier,” she said, nodding.

“What do you not say?”

“Prince,” she said.

“Good,” he said, ruffling her ginger curls. “Okay, you ready to get ready for dinner at Uncle William’s and Auntie Kate’s?”

“Yeah!”

“I’ll pick out a dress for you,” he said.

“No, you’re bad at picking dresses!” she said, running over to stop him from opening her wardrobe door. She hung onto his arm.

“I’m bad at picking dresses?!” he repeated, outraged. “I’ll have you know I was most stylish man two years running.”

“They felt sowwy for you,” she said, then dissolved into giggles at his mock-hurt expression.

“Oh, wow,” he said. “Just for that, I’m going to pick a disgusting dress for you to wear, with shoes that don’t match-”

“No!” she squealed, still giggling. As he flicked through her clothes, she clambered up onto his back, making him chuckle.

“You’re like a monkey,” he teased. “And now I’m like a turtle with you on my back.”

“’You never really know’,” Maisie said in deep voice, imitating Crush The Turtle from Finding Nemo. “’But when they know, you know. You know.’”

Harry laughed at her. “Just keep swimming, huh?”

“No, that’s Dory!”

“Oh, silly me,” he said pulling her off his back and setting her on the floor. “Alright, let’s choose something for you to wear. This dress?”

Maisie shook her head.

“This dress?”

She shook her head again. Harry sighed theatrically, making her giggle.

“God you’re difficult to please,” he muttered, then pulled out another. “This one?”

She nodded animatedly, and he chuckled, relieved to have found one. “Will you plait my hair, Daddy?”

“Now, you see, I’m thinking this dress needs your hair down, darling,” he said.

“You don’t know how to plait, do you?” Maisie asked sassily.

He opened his mouth, outraged, ready to argue, then stopped and grinned. “Nope.”

Together they laughed again, before Harry helped Maisie get changed into her pretty dress.

Harry led the way round to William and Kate’s apartment, Maisie’s tiny hand curled in his. He’d put her in a pretty blue dress, and she’d insisted on wearing some of her sparkly lip-gloss.

“Excited, Maisie?” Harry asked. “You’re going to meet you aunt and cousins.”

Maisie’s ginger hair bobbed in a nod. “Auntie Kate, not princess,” she reminded herself.

Harry smiled as he knocked on the door. The sound of booming barks came from the other side. “Oh, I forgot to tell you about Lupo.”

“Lupo?” Maisie asked, looking up at her dad in confusion just as the front door opened and the black dog had jumped on her. She squealed in surprise, Lupo jumping up, wanting hugs and cuddles, and Harry pulled her into his arms, out of the dog’s reach. Maisie stared down at him, shocked.

“This is Lupo,” Harry said, laughing lightly. Maisie’s eyes were wide. “Hey, you okay?” He bounced her slightly, trying to soften her.

“Sorry about that Maisie,” William said, pulling Lupo back into the apartment. He leant forward and took one of Maisie’s hands, gently shaking it reassuringly. “He just likes to make new friends. Is that okay? Will you be his friend?”

Maisie hesitated, then nodded.

“Oh good, he loves his friends,” William said. “Come in, do come in.”

Maisie still seemed scared, so Harry kept her sat on his hip as he followed his brother into the hallway. He could hear Lupo’s paws tapping as he darted around the kitchen.

William glanced back at his niece, and he looked worried. “I hope Lupo didn’t scare her,” he said to Harry. “Does she know dogs?”

“Nana and Grandad have some dogs, don’t they, May?” Harry said to her, and she nodded. “What kind of dogs are they?”

“Um…” She bit her lip as she thought, then said happily, “A westie and a yorkie.”

“Oh, so they’re quite a bit smaller than Lupo, huh?” William said. “No wonder he scared you, he’s quite scary.”

“Very scarewy,” she agreed, with her lisp.

“Aw, don’t be scared of him,” Harry said. “Like Uncle William said, he just likes to make friends.”

They reached the lounge, and no longer was it just the three of them. George jumped off of the pristine white sofa, crying out in excitement.

“Uncle Harry!” he cooed, running over to him.

“Hey George,” Harry said, gently placing Maisie on the floor so he could give his nephew a cuddle. “George, this is Maisie. Maisie’s my daughter, but she’s come to live with me now.”

George frowned slightly at his cousin. Maisie was just over a year older than him, and he seemed intimidated by that age difference. Then he turned round, eyes on Kate, confused.

“Remember what we said, Georgie,” she said gently, coming over to smooth his blonde hair. Then she crouched down, so that she was on eye-level with Maisie. “Hello.”

“Maisie, remember who this is?”

Maisie’s eyes were wide. “Auntie Kate.”

Kate broke into a smile. “Yes, I’m Auntie Kate!” She held out a hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Hello,” Maisie murmured, shaking it shyly. Harry stroked the back of her hair reassuringly.

“I love your dress,” Kate said, fingering the frilly blue material.

“I picked that out,” Harry said, smirking. “And you say I have no fashion sense.”

Kate laughed lightly, then looked at Maisie and leant in close, whispering, “Do you want to see some of my dresses?” Maisie’s head nodded animatedly, and Kate laughed lightly. “Let’s just introduce you to Charlotte first.”

“Shar-lot,” Maisie quoted, taking Kate’s outstretched hand and toddling after her to where Charlotte was sat on the fluffy rug. Maisie looked round nervously, wanting to make sure Harry was nearby, and Harry gave her an encouraging smile, watching as Maisie was introduced to his niece. William, stood beside him, smiled too.

“She’s adorable,” William murmured to him.

“Are you talking about my daughter or yours?” Harry quipped, delighted by the feeling of the words ‘my daughter’.

“Both, but Maisie in particular,” William said. “She’s being very brave, this whole ordeal must be very hard on her.”

“She’s surrounded by strangers, really,” Harry said. “And she’s starting a new school on Monday.”

“Did she get into Fox?” William asked.

“Yeah, but only because it was Kensington Palace phoning,” Harry replied, laughing. “Edward’s in talks with them now about protection and all that.”

“So you are going to announce it?”

“I need to tell Pa and Granny first,” Harry said, and shuddered at the thought. “They’re going to be so mad.”

“Don’t count on it,” William said, throwing him a grin. “She’s lovely, just take her along and they’ll be smitten.”

“Harry,” Kate said then, and Harry looked round to where Kate, Charlotte and Maisie were stood in the doorway, Maisie’s hand still in Kate’s. “I’m just going to show Maisie my wardrobe, is that okay?”

“Sure,” he said, grinning at his daughter. “Maybe let her try some of your high heels on.”

Kate laughed, leading the two girls away and leaving the three princes alone. George tugged on Harry’s shirt, wanting attention.

“Hey, Georgie,” Harry said, sitting down on the sofa and pulling George onto his lap.

“I no understand,” George said, frowning.

“Oh no, what’s up?”

“Who is Maisie?”

Harry sighed; he should’ve known George would have a few more questions about it. “Maisie is my daughter. She’s been living with her mother all her life, and she was a secret because we didn’t want the photographers to know about her.” That was simple enough for George to understand.

He seemed to process that for a moment. “Then why she here now?”

“Her mummy died,” Harry said. “And she’s very upset, so don’t talk to her about it. But now that means that she has to come and live with her daddy.”

“She has your hair,” George said.

Harry chuckled. “She does,” he said.

“I use the orange pen for her hair too!” he said excitedly, pushing himself off of Harry and darting over to the toy box, retrieving his pad of paper and his colouring pens.

“Are you going to draw the family again?” William asked affectionately.

“Yah!” George said. “With Maisie too.”

Harry smiled, touched by his nephew’s enthusiasm. “That’s really nice, George. I’m sure Maisie will love it.”

Upstairs, Kate had just shown Maisie the lilac gown that she had worn on tour in America back in 2011 – Maisie was in love, and she was so excited when Kate suggested her trying on some glittery stilettos that she hugged Kate in gratitude.

“Aw, you’re very welcome darling,” Kate said, helping her stand upright in the high shoes. “You have gorgeous hair, has anyone ever told you that?”

“Lots,” Maisie said. “The haircutter once asked if I have highlights.”

“Really?!” Kate said, amazed. “But you’re only four!”

“That’s what Mummy said,” Maisie said, stepping out of the shoes and moving over to softly touch the silky dresses in Kate’s wardrobe. “Your clothes are so pretty.”

“Thank you, I love buying clothes,” Kate said. “Maybe I should take you shopping and you can get some more pretty dresses too.”

Maisie nodded eagerly. “Fank you!”

“Aw, darling, that’s okay,” Kate said, hugging Maisie tightly. “Shall we go down and see what Daddy and Uncle William are up to?”

“Yeah!” Maisie said, taking Kate’s hand. Kate scooped Charlotte up onto her other hip and led the two girls back downstairs. Maisie darted ahead of her into the living room.

“Daddy! Daddy!” she squealed, dive-bombing him and making him laugh. He pulled her onto his lap and cuddled her back.

“Hey, May-May,” he said. “Did you see all of Auntie Kate’s pretty dresses?”

“Yeah, so pretty,” she said. “One was so soft, it felt like a bunny!”

“Like a bunny?” Harry asked, chuckling.

“Now, Maisie,” Kate said. “I hear that you like chicken, yes?”

Maisie hesitated, and Harry encouraged her by nudging her and saying, “Chicken’s delicious, huh?” She nodded.

“Good,” Kate said. “And you like chips?”

Maisie nodded again.

“And salad?”

“Bleugh,” Maisie said, pretending to be sick, and the three adults laughed.

“Well, that’s what we’re having for dinner, okay?” Kate said. “I’m going to go and see if the chicken’s nearly done.”

While Kate got the dinner ready, George, Maisie and Charlotte sat at the small coffee table and did their own drawings. George’s was one of the family, with two brightly-haired people which Harry guessed were him and Maisie. Maisie was drawing a meadow, with her, Harry and Eve in it. And Charlotte was scribbling randomly with coloured crayons.

William sat on the sofa beside Harry. “So, you need to talk me through what’s happening. I mean, when are you going to tell the family? When are you going to tell your friends? When is it going to be announced to the press?”

Harry sighed. “We’re taking it one step at a time. You know. Kate knows. Edward knows and Ed’s assistant Stephen knows. Also, the headmaster of Fox’s Primary school knows now, but today Edward met with him, they signed privacy agreements, him and all the staff at the school. Only the headmaster knows that she is my daughter, none of the teachers will until we announce it.”

“Right, and she starts on Monday?”

“Yeah, she starts on Monday. While she’s at school, I’m going to go over and tell Pa about her, and I’m going to try and organise a night next week when we can all have dinner and they can meet Maisie.”

“So you want all the family to know by the end of the week?” William asked.

“Well, Pa and Camilla, and Granny and Grandpa. I think it’s up to them to spread it between all the cousins, and our aunts and uncles. I’m going to tell the guys about her on Friday night – it’s Skippy’s birthday, Eve’s best friend Melanie is going to come and babysit her.”

“God, it’s all happening so fast,” William said, looking over at the little girl who was biting her lip in concentration as she coloured in. “I remember when you told me Eve was pregnant.”

Harry laughed. “Remembering the bollocking you gave me?” he said, dropping his voice.

William chuckled too. “I know…I was so angry at the time…but now, it’s difficult to be mad once you’ve met her. And I’m sure Pa and Granny will feel the same way.”

“Let’s hope,” Harry said, sighing. He had a difficult few weeks ahead, and he hoped that his family wouldn’t make it any harder for him.