#oh my god. their dad

[mikakuna]

jason as a child looking to bruce with so much love and trust is extremely important to me

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

☠️☠️☠️

[christadeguchi]

he's like if a baby cow wandered into a zoom interview

[sunderwight]

Thinking about Black Widow Luo Binghe.

Hear me out -- so just like in canon, Shen Qingqiu self-destructs to save Luo Binghe, dies, and Luo Binghe steals his body to put on ice while he looks for methods to resurrect him. But unlike in canon, staving off decomposition is simply not that doable for a matter of years, even with cultivation and Luo Binghe pouring qi into the process. The qi costs are still high, so is Xin Mo, and now Binghe also needs a special artifact that can actually preserve Shen Qingqiu, but that runs on blood sacrifices.

To get the thing working, Luo Binghe feeds it a bunch of prisoners from the Water Prison. Then he starts kidnapping cultivators to drain for his own qi reserves, but that's difficult, controversial, and he can't use the same victims for the blood sacrifice afterwards. Frankly, between one thing and another it would be easier to satisfy Xin Mo with dual cultivation, and focus on finding victims for Shizun's Snow White style glass preservation coffin without having to choose between using targets for one or the other. Especially given that, if he finesses it, Luo Binghe can extend the use of his sacrifices and get more out of them with fewer deaths that way.

He's pretty sure that Shizun would want fewer deaths.

Of course, he is not a fan of the logistics of the plan itself, but he'd do worse things to one day be reunited. He consoles himself that he's building up bedroom experience for one day being with Shen Qingqiu, and that it doesn't really count because his heart's not really in it, and also if Shizun got to spend all that time in brothels then it's only fitting that Luo Binghe be his equal in this as well. It still doesn't make it pleasant for him, but it makes him able to tolerate the necessity of it.

So Luo Binghe ends up marrying a string of rich and powerful figures -- mostly the villainous single fathers and mothers and evil uncles of harem members from PIDW, rather than their daughters -- and coming up with creative ways of making all their deaths a few months into the process look like accidents. After the third one people are undeniably wary of marrying him, but there's always someone with a big enough ego to think they'll be an exception, or stupid enough to believe that it really has just been so much bad luck up to that point. It helps that the universe is predisposed to let him hit it.

When SY wakes up in the shroom body and hears about Luo Binghe's succession of marriages, he's not surprised. What he is surprised by is the bisexual graveyard of toxic dilfs and milfs that has replaced the harem.

What did he do to cause that?!

And what does Luo Binghe mean that he wants to marry his own shizun now? Is this his new method of revenge??? Binghe, you don't have to marry someone to kill them!

[egophiliac]

oh, uh, this...this isn't Silver's backstory after all.

[thedawningofthehour]

On Splinter and Colors

I know we all joke about Splinter giving the red-eared slider the nickname Blue and I agree that it is indeed a peak troll dad move, but consider-

This is what we see of the baby turtles in Goyles Goyles Goyles

And this is the same picture put through a colorblind filter showing protanomaly, or red deficiency

Through deuteranomaly, green deficiency

And through protanopia, total red blindness

Yeah, makes sense why Leo might be Blue.

(there's green blindness and blue deficiency/blindness as well, but Leo's eye bananas still looked red in those)

If you haven't gotten to high school physics yet or have forgotten that lesson: we have three cones in our eyes that respond to light of different wavelengths, perceiving the color red, green, and blue respectively. All the colors you perceive are a mixture of these cones receiving light and yelling at you. (except for purple, purple's kind of weird) (as is black and white, and magenta, and-there are a lot of non-spectral colors, actually) Color blindness occurs when one or more cones is bad at its job or not working, resulting in the eye having difficulty perceiving that wavelength or not being able to see it altogether.

Now, considering he did give another child Red, he most likely can tell some shades apart. So I doubt he's completely red-blind. But it's very possible that he's red-weak or green-weak colorblind and literally saw Leo as having blue stripes as an infant, because they were in a shade he had trouble seeing.

This could also explain why he wore yellow-tinted glasses. They might have literally helped him see better by filtering everything to a wavelength he could see more comfortably at.

But, you ask, why didn't the name 'red-eared slider' tip him off? Splinter's not a native English speaker. He's fluent, but it's his second language and it is very different from his first. English is a confusing and often contradictory language, so even if he realized that red-eared was meant to refer to the markings around their ears that were red-well, what does he know? English came up with all sorts of weird, misleading names for things. The black mamba isn't actually black, goldfish can come in all sorts of colors, and there's a frog called the mountain chicken. Who is he to argue?

[everwalldigan]

Under the red hood alternative story where Jason doesn’t go the drug lord “choose me or him” route and instead hatches a plan to make Bruce love him ‘again’ and get attached to him and then he lets himself get killed again cause CLEARLY Bruce didn’t mourn him enough the first time. It totally makes sense.

Jason, while hugging Bruce after the DNA test came back positive, grinning evilly behind his back: hahahahaha yeah this’ll fucking show him!

Except. He miscalculated. Severely. Suddenly the thought of dying is a terrifying one because his life has never been this peaceful. Bruce helped him finish his school education and convinced him to enrol into university, even helped him take over crime alley’s underground in the meantime.

Jason, while spending time with Bruce, not fighting and just existing peacefully in each other’s company, realising that he doesn’t really fancy dying anymore and his plan is effectively Ruined: fuck.

[ghostbsuter]

This is the fourth time damian brought the college student over.

Damian, despite being 14, has been accepted to a gifted school as he had already been taught in the most subjects one usually learns at a slower pace.

(He still gets a headache over the fact his son won't get a normal childhood.)

Which is how he befriended the 17 year old Daniel, an overworked and sleepdeprived college student, getting dragged along and following with no complaint.

Bruce is, even if he wanted damian to befriend someone more around his own age, very welcoming of the student.

Alfred made sure the boy took enough food with him home, always leaving the mansion at point 4 pm.

It really shouldn't have been surprising when Bruce Wayne, yes, THE Brucie Wayne, summoned him to his office.

Danny entered the room fidgeting, giving a nervous smile to the man behind the desk and questioning what he did wrong to offend the patriarch of the family.

(Lies and slander, we, the readers, are fully aware that Alfred is the patriarch.)

"Uh— hi, Mr. Wayne." He sat when gestured to the chair, shitting bricks with how nervous he's.

The man nods in greeting, smiling. "Hello Danny–"

"Please don't kill me!" The teen in question blurts out, flushing in embarrassment once registered.

Taken aback and startled, Bruce snorts, stifling laughter by putting a hand against his mouth.

Shit.

"I don't know what I did! Very sorry if I offended someone!" He rambles, panicking and waving his hands around.

"Danny—"

"I must have done something! Why else would you call me? Oh god– I'm gonna be murdered by THE Brucie Wayne!"

At this point, the rich guy in front of him is barely restraining himself from laughing, trying his best to stay professional.

"Danny–! I- I won't murder you." He reassured, eyes crinkling from smiling.

"But–" he sniffs, both embarrassed and teary.

"I'm not gonna— danny." Bruce sighs, which sounds a lot like a choke, really. "Look, I just wanted a 1-on-1 talk with you about your friendship with damian and some concerns."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh."

Danny sighs in relief at this. "I can do some good old interrogation–" "it's not an interrogation–" "totally interrogation."

He huffs lightly, getting comfortable in his chair and preparing himself mentally.

"Alright Mr. Wayne! Shoot me!"

(Was that a pun? A joke to murder? Really?)

The man clears his throat, straightens his back and looks serious as he was before the accusations of murder.

"What are your intentions with damian and why become friends in the first place?"

Blinking, the teen brightens. "Oh, that's easy! Damian needs a friend. We just kinda clicked after I scared away a few pesky bullies."

Then he shrugs. "Besides, it's great training."

"Training?" Bruce asks, curious, tone light in the way that shows he's very interested.

"Yes. Despite his badly hidden murderous tendencies, love for knives, and slight lack of slang language and knowledge, he's still a kid." He nods.

"A young teen that goes through teen stuff that I barely remember going through and now get to relearn will be handy once Ellie becomes a teenager herself."

Batman was filing the information away, but Bruce kept going.

"Ellie?" He questions.

"My daughter– has damian not mentioned her? We always leave around 4 to get her from my sister. Sometimes, dami stays over for a few hours!"

Ah. Well. Seems like Alfred will have to make more food for the teen now.

"Would you like to stay for dinner today?" He asks, "Bring your daughter too. We won't mind you joining us." smiling and already planning for the new adjustments to make.

"On another note, what are your and your daughters preferences? Any allergies?"

Danny didn't even agree yet, not that he was gonna— mind you.

"No allergies, soft foods only, easy to eat." He answers, listing the stuff from the top of his head.

In a whirlwind of– of planning dinner?? Danny is out of the door and wide eyed.

"What just happened?"

(On the other side, Bruce face-palms, having forgotten to ask what age Ellie is. Damn in Bruce.)

—

On the fifth visit, Danny stayed for dinner.

Damian must know the age, for there are bowls with freshly cut fruits, yoghurt, and rice mixed with veggies and chicken.

On that note, where is damian?

Dick meets his eyes, asking the same quetsion with a look.

Just as Bruce was gonna ask, the door opened, and the cutest picture to ever exist was created.

(Dick RIPPED his phone out of his pocket, swiping a picture of the scene as fast as possible.)

Steph can't hold back the coos at the sight of Damian walking with a toddler into the dining room, her tiny feet propped up on his and in hand together.

She's wearing a Robin onesie and he is wearing his (stolen) Nightwing hoodie.

"Sorry, hope we aren't late!" Danny waves with a grin from behind the pair.

"You aren't, just perfect, in fact." Bruce reassures, waving the teens over to the free seats.

Damian leads the two to his seat, making sure they're next to him.

The conversation during dinner is one spoken fondly, Cass likes to make Ellie laugh with silly faces, Duke and Steph "secretly" feed her tiny pieces of strawberry and Dick is in a rather passionate discussion with both Tim and Danny.

Damian, once he makes sure no one is watching him, wipes the mess from Ellies face.

(Bruce was watching, looking away once damians face snapped to him. He wasn't aware his youngest had such a soft spot for toddlers.)

(It takes a while, but Danny and Ellie become family like every other person, while having not slept over yet, Alfred already has prepared a room for the two in the Family wing.)

(It's barely a week after that everyone bought and gifted him onesie's of their hero personas, with the excuse of them being the gotham vigilantes when questioned. After all, the Robin can't be a one man team.)

—

The Nightwing and his Robin.

[shima-draws]

Catching up on more recent FT stuff and um

EDO LUCY HAS A KID?

EDO LUCY AND EDO NATSU ARE MARRIED??? AND HAVE A DAUGHTER?? NALU CANON???

Also oh my FUCKING god look at him. He’s such a proud dad I’m going to throw up I love him so much

And the fact that Natsu gets attached to her IMMEDIATELY and goes into overprotective Dad Mode when she’s not even his daughter, technically (and Gray too over his own Edo kid 🤧)

Natsu: I’ve decided I’m taking her home with me. No objections

HOMIE DEADASS IS SIGNING THE ADOPTION PAPERS ALREADY. It was love at first sight. Natsu loves her so much he wants to kidnap her. Shut UP,

[theloveinc]

OlderDad!Bakugou who gets a haircut and his baby doesn't recognize him and he doesn't want his dad to pick him up 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bakugou has a cry in the bathroom and you have to spend the rest of the night consoling him.

Also Hiiiiiii, miss u, hope youre gooooood

head in my hands bc of this, just thought abt bakugo growing out his hair a little bit right after baby's birth...takes him months to go and get a real haircut cuz he doesn't wanna burden you more than he already has and by the time he's okay with the thought (but only for "AN HOUR MAX," is what he says), he has a mullet thing going on and all this scruff on his chin🥺🥺🥺

so he gets home with his regular ol' haircut, maybe a little shorter just to account for ... not wanting to go again so soon, and baby's HOLLERING bloody murder as soon as they see him and refusing to be taken out of your arms, doing that thing where they're flipping their face back and forth to dodge a kiss...

it's so tragic bc not even a little cheek nuzzling helps to calm them bc bakugo's CLEAN SHAVEN and smells like aftershave instead of like dad when he tries!!!!!!

and after, you watch him kinda sulk into the bathroom, thinking like aw yeah thats a bummer but also pretty funny, too (esp bc the haircut does look good🫣🤓), AND HE DOESN'T COME OUT FOR LIKE an hour???

....until you finally have to ask him if he's okay in there and you're opening the door to him sitting on the toilet seat, arms crossed and red cheeks a little streaky with tears...

LJFKASDJFADSJK it's the cutest, most sad sight you ever did see!! ofc Bakugo tries to deny it, but the way he tears up again (after you're done assuring him he did nothing wrong) when his baby finally realizes it's him and smiles (and then how he refuses to give them up again until bedtime) has his ass. EXPOSED.

(i love and miss u more than air, earth, water, dirt + HOPE YOU'RE GOOD TOO BESTIE ILY)

[noxcheshire]

HOT TAKE

But I like the idea of the phantom world being reincarnated into very unexpected people.

Like I still love the idea of Danny being Martha or Thomas.

Or Dani being another clone, or her being Damian, and Sam being Poison Ivy and or Martha, etc.

But I also like the unhinged nonsense of Sam being a clone in the dc world — ideally Kon, and Dani (or Dan) being Bruce, while Vlad is gasp Thomas Wayne.

HEAR ME OUT

JUST HEAR ME OUT

I just think the idea of Danny finding out that in an alternate world he married a nicer and age appropriate Vlad and had the son the guy has been demanding for so long in their world is hilarious.

The absolute mental breakdown that boy will go through: this is my son, and I love him, look at him go being a hero and kicking ass, but holy fucking Ancients above I fucked VLAD —

And on the other hand, can you imagine Bruce’s reaction? To his alternate mom being a sassy teenage boy, his alternate dad being an older guy ‘preying’ on this kid that absolutely HATES the guy, and being an absolute creep while his alt self **gestures to your choosing** is either a tiny girl menace or the biggest and meanest growling ghost that is BARELY tolerating being in the same space as the living.

But they also hate his alternate dad and would punch him into next week with Mom! Danny.

This man will being going THROUGH IT.

[obsesssedblerd]

so imagine sukuna's daughter is old enough to date and for a long time, the princess rejects every last suitor because she's super picky. at first it worries reader and sukuna, but then one day, their daughter comes home with a huge bouquet of flowers, completely lovestruck, and she goes on and on and on about how she met a guy who's just so handsome and strong and powerful. she's blushing, giggling, and swinging her legs back and forth as she talks about him. so of course, you tell her to invite him for family dinner so you and sukuna can meet him. the evening arrives, and your daughter walks in with a huge smile, and who's standing next to her, you ask?

satoru gojo reincarnated. the shock is so great that poor sukuna nearly passes tf out.

LMFAOOOOOOOOO??????????? 😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

omfg the way i screamed in my house just now 😭 this is so fucking funny bro PLEASE 😂 can imagine sukuna nearly fainting and his & reader's daughter is just like ?????

[temeyes]

hehe dad!soap likes matching with his kid

[egophiliac]

I DONT FOLLOW THIS FANDON WJAY HAPPENED

our butler(/guide to being an agent/best friend who bakes us special cookies and helps us run our cafe and encourages us no matter what because he loves our dad us) got sucked into a DREAMWORLD and had his spirits CRUSHED and he turned into a CRYSTALLY CHAMELEON MONSTER and we had to go through a spiritual journey and talk to the spirit of our DAD so we could POWER OF FRIENDSHIP him back!!!! (and some other stuff happened but what matters is that LEON WAS OKAY)

now he has a different-colored eye and a gentlemanly little face tattoo and...maybe other secrets that we'll find out later?!

[smellslikera1n]

to me the most entertaining part of batgirl 2000 is babs and bruce basically having a custody battle over cass. like guys have you considered you’re both projecting onto this kid

[sirmanmister]

The MacCready family deserves the literal whole entire world and nobody can convince me otherwise.