#oh my god betty posted this as a joke and people think it's real

[localgirlbecomesobsessed]

Cursed detective inc ™️

Xena gets injured and forced on bed rest for just one day…in that one day she decides to help the students of Darkwick…turning this inspector into a detective.

(Whoever you ship Xena with really)

This went a bit dark.

This came out a bit gory, it is a small horror story kind of? So pls don’t read if you’re triggered by violence or blood.

Contains:violence;death; murder; serial killer; blood;injury

“Stay in bed you absolute freak.”

Leo glowered at her as he caught her trying to move for the fifth time today, Xena frowned at him grumpily crossing her arms as Sho sighed in exasperation.

“You’re wounded.”

She sighed looking at her sprained foot in disdain as Leo placed a laptop in front of her. They’ve placed her in Leo’s bed for the day, both feeling slightly guilty as she sprained it doing a something for the two of them…how was they supposed to know a giant car wheel would come loose and roll straight into the ladder Xena was on, she was about to clamber onto Leo’s shoulders as the other was on Sho’s shoulders…they wanted to do a video for tiktok.

“Watch a movie or something, pro Nicky said you’ll be better by tomorrow so just fucking chill.”

He stormed out the door as Sho placed a platter of snacks beside her, gently taking her hand as he poked her in the face.

“Tis a scratch.” •_•

She mumbled leaning back onto the pillow as Sho shook his head in disapproval.

“You really are an idiot honour roll, I was really worried…I never heard you scream like that-“

She sighed again, she wasn’t expecting to be thrown off a ladder, the momentum made it so the scream she’d usually keep in when faced with these sort of things…it just slipped out.

“But I’m booooored Sho, can’t I help at the truck or something?”

She flopped backwards, closing her eyes as she avoided the very pointed look being thrown at her.

“Surely there’s some work the chancellor or one of the other pricks can give you?”

Work…

Xena was in deep thought as a grande idea sprang into her mind.

“Yep, there sure is…you’re right, I’ll be fine!!”

———————————————————Kaito looked at the new forum post with a mixture of horror and amusement as he quickly showed Luca, the other in deep meditation as he peeked an eye open at Kaito.

‘INSPECTOR AT YOUR SERVICE!

Need a mystery or problem solved, comment below and inspector Xena will look into it🫡

I won’t air anyone’s dirty laundry out for everyone to see but will leave a solved or rejected stamp under each plea; keep in mind I may reject it as well.

Luca raised an eyebrow as Kaito clicked on the forum, eyes widening at the stream of replies, some joking or asking if this was actually real and some were actually…serious.

‘I need help, I think my boyfriend Matsu is cheating on me, can you find out!?’

It was the first one with a solved stamp underneath it…kaito cracked up as he saw the request after that one.

‘Help!!!! My gf found out I cheated on her?!Can you fix it?!’

A big fat reject stamp glowed underneath the request as the person who asked for help commented a bunch of threats that Xena just replied with laughing faces too.

Oh god…this is gonna be trouble.

Kaito couldn’t help but think as he scrolled through the requests, surprisingly a lot of these were already solved, they were easy ones about relationships, problems that people struggled with in class, fights with friends…but then there was this one;

‘My friend went missing a couple of weeks ago…can you help me find her?’

The request was accepted and it seems Xena has paused the submissions as it was the last one there. There’s been no more movement on the page and Kaito couldn’t stop himself as he started calling Xena.The call that was immediately declined as he texted her with furious speed, deleting and resending the texts as he panicked.

Betty Crocker 👱‍♂️: want help??

That’s what he ended up with as he awaited Xena to read it, Luca finished his meditation and started reading through the forum on phone in a state of curiosity.

“She’s done all this since the morning?”

He asked amazed, the multiple cases being solved with actual people saying how happy they were its solved?

Queen🫥: can you check out someone called Jebediah Lucas? He was the last person to speak to the missing person; I went through her texts and he seemed to be the last person to meet her, after that it’s radio silence and Jebediah’s last location was the Frostheim dorms.

Kaito eyes widened as he realised what student she was talking about, jebediah was some mega rich kid who was already on thin ice for harassing female students in the dorm, he was meant to be on lockdown whilst the captain debated what to do with him…for the past couple of weeks.

Queen🫥:take Luca with you just in case, phone me as soon as you find anything.

Kaito was stressed as he and Luca made their way to Jebediah’s room, he was an arsehole…but surely he wouldn’t…he couldn’t-he’s in the academy how could he?

———————————————————

“Thank you for coming Kagura.”

Xena had moved herself to the common area, her foot propped on the table as she typed away at the computer.

Kagura Kinzuki, another hotarubi student with close relations to the victim (Amelia) Kagura who pleaded for Xena’s help and who was now currently sobbing as Xena read through the texts between Amelia and Jebediah.

“I-I told her not to come that night! That she should’ve stayed at the dorms…we sometimes hang out in the forest during the evening…”

Alan came over a bottle of water in hand as he handed it to the panicked student.

“what time approximately did you last see her?”•_•

Xena asked as she felt bile rise up in her throat…the texts started normal, he flirted-she rejected-he turned vile sending harassment on the daily, but…the ones right before she went missing. He had threatened to do unspeakable things to her, sent her weird torture videos saying he can cover it up and no one would care…

“Right before I went into the forest…so maybe-6ish?”

Xena nodded adding that to her document as Alan managed to get the young woman to calm down, Xena sighed as she plopped her laptop beside her, clasping her hands together as she leaned forward.

“Kagura, I…have you seen these texts?”

Kagura shook her head, she hiccuped as she tried to take deep breaths, her tear stained cheeks burned from the waterfalls that had previously burst from her eyes.

Xena had to be careful about how she goes about it, she had sent Kaito to check out Jebediah’s dorm but…she’s not sure what they’d find-if they find anything.

“I don’t-I couldn’t look when I found it in the forest-I tried to give it to the teachers but…the giant creature attacked when I was about too and everything-“

Xena cut her off, that damned idiot who ate the mermaid scales…Amelia would’ve disappeared a day before he turned into the Akira-esque monster.

“It’s okay, it’s better I have it than they do, I’m just sorry I didn’t do this sooner…”

If she had opened up herself to the students, instead of running around for the damned faculty maybe they would’ve been more likely to find her alive…or if the faculty actually brought her something like this to deal with instead of organising files then maybe…

Alan frowned but didn’t disagree, how could he?

“What’s Amelia like?”

She was careful in not using the word was, Kagura still seems hopeful that she’s still alive and Xena couldn’t bring herself to crush it, not without concrete proof…and she couldn’t help but think that not everything adds up.

Kaito and Luca still hadn’t messaged her back, she had messaged Haku about the student, he filed a report with Moby who said they’ll look into it. It seems to have fallen on the back burner whilst the events of mortkranken wreaked havoc amongst the school.

“She’s funny, sweet, really cute when she laughs and she always carried snacks with her I-she’s my best friend I can’t lose her..!”

She was sobbing again and an awkward Alan handed her some tissues.

Xena remained stoic as she nodded along before her phone let out a shrill cry, it was Kaito.

“Yo…don’t move and don’t touch anything I’ll be there-Alan…”

She gestured for him to follow her, guiding him to the kitchen as she leaned against the wall, her ankle felt like it was on fire , they both made sure to keep Kagura in their eye-line.

“Don’t let her out of your sight, I can’t risk her following and seein-”

She took a deep breath as Alan’s eyes widened with realisation.

They had found Amelia. ———————————————————

Kaito was trying to hold in the bile that was threatening to escape him as he heaved outside the dorm room, Luca patted his back as he frantically spoke to Thoma over the phone.

Xena came hobbling into the hallway with Hyde by her side as they both put on face masks, the ones with ventilators as they were definitely going to need it, they put on gloves and plastic boot covers, Xena struggling with one foot as the pain became too much.

“You okay?”

Kaito weakly nodded as did luca , he continued to comfort Kaito rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“We’ll be fine but-“

Xena patted Luca’s shoulder, the two maintaining eye contact as Hyde proceeded to call a team in to help lock the area off.

“Did you touch anything? See anything strange?”

Xena frowned as Luca shook his head, she was going to leave the two outside, so they wouldn’t have to deal with whatever happened in there again.

“The doors been barricaded with towels and air fresheners so the smell wouldn’t escape…they’ve been wrapped and sealed and the area hasn’t been cleaned.”

Lucas methodically went through everything he could remember, keeping up a calm demeanour despite the sick feeling grabbing at his stomach.

“It’s bad…there’s two-“

Kaito heaved again.

Kaito knew one of the girls…he had spoken to her just last week-so how?

“Maybe…get him out of here, alert Jin to what’s going on and I’ll handle things here.”

She tried to be kind when saying it but didn’t miss the way the duo deflated at her words.

“You guys did good work today, thank you so much…but please tell Jin, is Thoma on his way?”

They both nodded as they started walking off to the kings quarters. Xena sighed as she opened the door, Hyde joining her as they both physically gasped at the pungent smell overwhelming them.

“Who woulda guessed that the inspector turned detective case would turn out so…horrific.”

Hyde started to narrate trying to lighten the mood as the dark room embodied them, blood splattered across the room, sheets rumpled and destroyed with dried dark brown stains littered across the bed. The walls were covered in splattered blood and matter, the tightly wrapped bodies laid against the walls as Hyde handed her a pair of scissors, he had a mini kit with him so they’d be able to start investigating before the team gets there.

Xena tried not to breath too deeply as she started cutting the the ropes off of the bag, slowly unravelling it as a head of red hair peaked out from it. That sickening cold gut feeling sank to the pits of her stomach as the decomposing body of Amelia Sharr was revealed.

“Fuck sake.”

Xena angrily muttered to herself, she knew this wasn’t going to end well…but to see it in real life…she wiped the scissors clean with an alcohol wipe before going to open the other one,this one wasn’t wrapped as well as Amelias, if she looked closely she could probably see who it was from the shoddy way she’s been wrapped up, but she didn’t know who to expect when she opened up the bag, didn’t want to get to close…but she had too.

She didnt know how to handle the head of black hair popping out of the bag as Kagura’s face revealed itself.

“What the fuck?!”

She fell backwards, pain snapping into her ankle as she pushed herself away from the bodies.

“That-that’s the girl who came to me for help?!?”

She shrieked as she tried to calm down her overbearing heart as Hyde quickly pulled her up.

“Take a Moment.”

He ordered as he let go of her as she tried to stabilise herself, she touched each of her fingers, wiggled her toes and counted down from 20 as she started searching the room, pulling out anything and everything to get a clue as Hyde speedily called Sho to go get Alan.

Whoever was with him, definitely wasn’t Kagura kinzuki.

She searched under the drawers, only finding a basic notebook and school books as she continued, ignoring the stares from the dead girls beside her as she searched under the mattress.

Her fingers tracking under the bedding as she locked onto a small baggie, she held it out as Hyde turned on a flashlight and scanned the bag, it had strange blue pills in it, they had a strange shimmer to it and as Hyde pressed a flashlight against it…it moved.

“Shit…xena you said this was the last place Jebediah was?”

She nodded as she searched through his clothes drawer, she felt something hard underneath his pyjamas as she pulled out a well worn diary, she started flicking through it, a horrified expression taking over her.

“This is where I last traced his phone…should I try calling it, we might be able to locate it?”

She handed the diary to Hyde, rage flowing through her as she stepped out of the room, calmly grabbing a bag to put her gloves in as she stepped further into the hallway, slamming her fist into the wall. The things that man has wrote…the things he’s done, it was horrific and the fact he covered it up with money and threats, they should hope that someone else gets to him before she does.

The diary went into detail about the anomalies he’s taken and made into his playthings…how he got bored of hurting them and found a ‘docile girl’ to take their place…he had planned everything that he was going to do to her, Kagura was just a plus for him, the two were having a date in the forest when he grabbed them, spraying them with knock out gas and dragging them back to his room by using the yako mixture to turn them into small dolls.

But he failed to mention one thing, there was nothing docile about those girls, from the state of the room filled with broken lamps and moved furniture…they fought hard.

Hyde stepped out of the room, walking over as he gently leaned against the wall near her.

“It’s the hair of a Yako mixed with unknown substances…it can give the power to shapeshift.”

Xena nodded in agreement, deeply sighing as she brushed a hand through her hair in distress.

“He’s been parading as the girl he killed for weeks…so why kick up a fuss now?”

She put on another pair of gloves as she started calling his phone, storming back into the room as the loud vibrations beckoned her over, she found it hidden between the thin gap of the wardrobe and the wall.

She grabbed the tongs from the kit and put it into an evidence bag as she checked to see what sort of passcode it needed-it was a four digit code.

She whipped out her phone once again, sending a message to Leo;

John Xena-can you get me the passcode for Jebediah Lucas’ phone-it’s for a case 🫶🏼

She handed the bag to Hyde as she texted Alan to let her know if ‘Kagura’ was okay.

ALligator- she’s fine…she seems to only care about when you’re coming back though.

A shaky breath rattled its way out of Xena, Jebediah was waiting for her…he knows she knows…

She might just kill him.

Leonardo dick- it’s 8972, but also wtf are you doing ffs?! Why is Frostheim locked down?!???!

Hyde had already put an alert out, the framed art announcements telling students to stay in their dorms except vagastrom who’s about to be advised to evacuate the dorm and stay away. They’ve also alerted them that the entire school was on lockdown, if anyone tried to leave they’d be apprehended.

She sighed ignoring the text as she grabbed the bag from Hyde, who looked at her confused as she literally just handed it over. She typed in the passcode as she started searching through his phone, all his texts have been deleted, it was basically wiped besides…besides the videos.

He filmed all of it.

It seemed to be over three days of torture for each girl, he made one watch as the other begged for him to stop.

He wanted them to find the videos.

Hyde swiped the bag back before she could crush it to pieces, her anger emitting into the room as the team finally arrived, Yuri and Jiro came swooping in to analyse the bodies properly.

“I’m going back.”

She announced hobbling out the door.

Hyde looked at her in a mixture of amusement and disbelief, he didn’t move to stop her and instead watched as she’s unsteadily left the room.

Jiro and Yuri started the process of transferring the two girls to Mortkranken for a proper autopsy.

Hyde grinned as he texted Sho, alerting him to what his favourite honour student was doing.

———————————————————

The tricycle took her all the way to vagastrom, she was glad the tricycle was actually cooperating…though the clown horn that honked every few minutes was obnoxious.

She ungracefully got off the bike stumbling as she tried to quickly make her way into the shared common room. She was met with emptiness, no Alan-no Jebediah and no students?

She immediately tried to call Alan, but there was no answer. She then tried to call Sho, knowing Hyde called him, again no answer.

She checked the find my friend’s app in a state of panic as she tried to locate Alan…it said he was in the pit.

She marched off into the pit, ignoring the throbbing pain in her ankle as she tried to stealthily make her way in, sending her location to Kaito and Luca in the hopes that they’ll come as backup just in case something goes horrifically wrong.

As it always does.

Of course, as she walks into the room she spots an unconscious Alan with a furious Sho having a stand off with a maniacal Jebediah. He was waving a long knife in the air, peeled skin laid around him as he seemed to have actually shedded his disguise. Alan didn’t seem harmed just knocked out, no doubt he used whatever he used on the girls. They were close by, not in the caged section but just a little bit out of it, Jebediah was too caught up in his evil monologue to notice the new addition of the room.

…or so she thought.

“Inspector Xena! So lovely of you to join us~did you see my lovely display, what did you think? Impressive? Beautiful? Would you like to be apart of my next one?”

He dramatically swirled his arm in the air, making a point as he gestured towards her, she groaned as she walked over, grimacing as the closer she got the more dried blood she could see on the knife…and on Jebediah.

Sho made a move to take him down but stopped when he saw Xena hold her hand out.

“It was quite the display.” •_•

She clicked on her recorder, learning from Ritsu to always keep one on hand, she slowly walked closer towards them as she held her hands up, making herself seem less like a threat.

Jebediah giggled as he spun the knife, his pinky finger caressing the blunt side of the knife as he lovingly looked at Xena making it hard to keep the disgust from appearing on her face as she met his gaze. His long brown hair swaying gently as he moved closer towards her, as he came closer she could see the claw marks on his shirt, the blood and pieces of flesh scattered on him…those bodies were a couple weeks old but these looked fresher.

“It was quite a display…but was that you’re only one? Surely someone as talented as you doesn’t have just one piece to share.”•_•

She kept her face stoic as he gripped onto her shoulders, his face incredibly close to hers as the deathly smell of his breath swam around her, he clearly hadn’t washed or brushed his teeth for the past couple of weeks. The skin he’d been previously wearing seemed to have torn at his own, deep red marks from peeling it off combined with more claw marks across his cheeks…they seemed older, most likely from Amelia and Kagura.

“Oh my-you’re definitely not just a pretty face.”

He traced the knife over the scar on her cheek as she met his gaze, not backing down, it’s definitely not what she should be doing, he was like a wild animal and took her defiance quite hard as he pressed the knife harder into her cheek, trying to gain a reaction.

“Maybe I have a couple more…losers no one would particularly miss or notice missing~it’s why I thought you’d be a nice change of pace-they were just so dull to play with.”

He glared down at her, fury dancing in the flames of his eyes as his free hand twirled her hair loosely in his fingers.

“But you’re quick inspector~not as dim as I imagined…”

She tried to beat the fear down as it kept trying rise up within her, yet, it seemed he could see it within Xena’s very being as a cold and cruel smile graced his face.

“Get your guard dog to go in the cage like good pup and I’ll tell you where they are.”

His voice barely a whisper as he leaned into her. He spun and wrapped an arm around her waist as he turned his attention to Sho, who seemed frozen in place, fury and bloodlust swirling around him as Xena could tell Sho just might snap if this continues.

“Sho-go into the pit please.”

Her voice shook as she stared at him wide eyed, willing him to go in there as the Jebediah pressed the knife lazily to her jugular.

She needed to know where the others were, she couldn’t just leave the victims to rot away without being put to rest.

She could sense movement behind her, but it was only one person…Leo.

“You see I had to live as little Kagura for a while~I had to find something to do…turns out there’s some desperate people looking to connect in Darkwick~”

He pressed it a little harder, she could it was just about to break skin…she didn’t have a lot of time.

“How many?” •_•

Laughter echoed throughout the room as he released the knife’s hold on her, instead cuddling into her, his arms locked around her neck as he hummed amused…Xena thought she was going to sick.

“3 more~ but that got boring, I was going to do one from each house but I couldn’t do it from my own house of course, plus obscuary and jabberwock would’ve been a massive pain~”

So that must mean it’s vagastrom, mortkranken and sinostra.

“I can see the little cogs turning Xena~”

He giggled into her ear, tapping the knife’s hilt against the side of her head.

“I’ll tell you since you’re such a curious kitty, of course I already did Hotarubi~ I had one male student from mortkranken, one female student from vagastrom and oh~two male students from sinostra.”

She gulped as he slid his hands to her wrists waving them about as he smiled sadistically at her. Her heart was thumping so hard she didn’t know what would kill her first Jebediah or the oncoming panic attack.

“Where are they?”•_•

Her voice sounded strained as she tried to stop herself from just turning around and beating him unconscious. He was enjoying this too much and she couldn’t stand his hands on her, she wanted to rip them off and break him fingers one by one…that won’t get her the locations though, nor will that make him more comfortable answering her questions, though it would make things easier for her.

“Hmmmm~let’s see! Where are they? Why they’re in the Hotarubi forest my love-“

His hands slid down trying to grip her waist as he inhaled her scent…Xena couldn’t handle it anymore.

She couldn’t stand his hands on her.

She quickly stepped away launching a high kick right into his chest to put him off balance, she sweeped her leg under his as she slammed her stronger foot onto the hand holding the knife as he yelped in pain. She didn’t stop until she heard the sound bones crunching underneath her shoes, she collapsed onto the ground her knees hitting the concrete ground with a harsh thump the pain ricocheted throughout her but she didn’t have time to think about it. Jebediah tried to force himself up but Xena was too quick, swinging hard at him as his head bounced against the concrete floor from the impact of her punch.

She couldn’t stop after that…

She kept punching him, fists beating into whatever they could get too, she felt his nose crunch under her touch, his ribs snap as the flurry of punches become more frantic as the minutes ticked on…Leo watched wide eyed as he watched the girl before him lose control, his phone lowering as he turned off the camera, if she was going to kill him they needed deniability.

She could heard someone yelling in fury and it wasn’t until Sho pulled her off of him that she realised it was her. Her knuckles were split open as she pushed Sho away from her, she couldn’t have anyone touching her, she just couldn’t.

Not while she could feel those greasy grimey hands all over her.

Luca and Kaito were there too, pulling Jebediah harshly away from the scene and towards a furious Thoma and Jin.

He was still alive, gargling words as he looked terrified at how the events have gone down. Staring fearfully at the vengeful Jin, Thoma leaned down a gloved hand clutching at Jebediah’s chin whispering something as Jebediah screamed and tried to scuttle away, only to be stopped by a livid Luca who held him in place.

Hyde and Dante came with a security team as Jebediah got dragged away, Xena fumbled to grab her recorder as she struggled to get up, her ankle screaming at her not to move as Sho hovered around her.

She handed the recorder to Dante, who looked at her with worry deep in his eyes as he took it off of her, Hyde snatched it and shoved it into an evidence bag.

“We’ve got it from here.”

Hyde nodded at her as she wearily sighed.

“Shower, keep your clothes in a bag for us, we’ll get you new ones, we’ll reconvene tomorrow with the chancellor and go through everything. “

Xena numbly nodded to Dante’s instructions.

“You need a search party.”

She mumbled out as Alan clumbered his way towards her, Leo waking him up as he spilled water over him.

“I’ll do it, the Hotarubi forest?”

She glanced up at Alan wide eyed nodding as she opened her phone, starting a group chat with Alan, Haku and Subaru as she half explained the situation, proclaiming the need for a search party for the bodies.

“Haku and Subaru can help they can navigate the forest really well.”

Alan mumbled a thanks as he hurriedly marched his way out of the pit, embarrassed and upset about being knocked out, despite it not being his fault at all.

Thoma ordered Kaito to follow him to ensure the vagastrom captain didn’t get lost on his journey.

Leo sighed as he went to prepare a bath for Xena, who really didn’t know how she was staying on her feet right now, everything in her body was screaming at her to sit down but she just couldn’t.

An uncomfortable energy raced through her as she watched the three Frostheim students discuss something with eachother, worried glances turned her way as Jin approached them.

He glanced at Sho who backed away a little bit, giving them some space as Jin held out his hand, expecting Xena to take it, yet she shook her head him and watched him sigh nodding in understanding.

“You gonna stay here tonight?”

He asked gently, lighting up a cigarette.

“Yeah…are you guys going back to the dorms?”

He nodded, giving her a rare smile as Thoma called for him.

“You gonna be alright Xe?”

She gave him an awkward smile, running a thumb over her split knuckles, wincing slightly at the pain.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine…”

———————————————————

“You’re going to have to end the detective services you’ve offered the students Xena.”

She rolled her eyes fumbling with her bandages as she lazily laid across the armchair in the chancellors office.

Her sprained ankle that had gotten infinitely worse, hanged off the side as she rerolled the oversized mustard joggers, they were Leo’s and the softest things in the world.

“No.”•_•

She stubbornly said as she glanced over the infuriated chancellor, they’ve been in this meeting for several hours, going over the statements with each individual ghoul that was involved.

Alan, Haku and Subaru found the bodies in the woods, Zenji helping them as he called to their ghosts to lead the way.

Dante was going through all the paperwork and Hyde sorted things at Frostheim with Thoma and Jin.

“In fact, I’d like it if you brought issues like missing students and stuff like that to me.” •_•

She fiddled with the sleeves of her jumpers, it was one of Sho’s and now it’s hers, they must’ve given her the softest clothing to ever exist and she is 100% going to steal both items of clothing and she’s not sorry about it.

The chancellor spluttered at her request, Moby paused in feeding the cats as Xena continued to keep up a chill disposition.

“If we have the ability to prevent what happened yesterday, then we should take it! You can put a different house with me for each task to help garner a trust with the gen students as well as within the ghouls…” •_•

She folded her arms as the chancellor looked at her in disbelief.

“No one even-“

She interrupted him glaring at professor Moby, who visibly flinched, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the chancellor.

“Haku reported Amelia’s disappearance…to professor moby.”

Professor.Moby who did nothing, maybe too distracted with the other tasks and giant immortal being but that doesn’t really excuse it, it fell through the cracks in the worst way.

“Ahem, I see Xena, you can carry on your detective services…you can leave now, we’ll call you back if we need anything else.”

His brow was furrowed as he glared at Moby, who was visibly sweating. Xena got up wobbling slightly as exhaustion seeped into her bones.

“One last thing…I’d like to do a ceremony with Haku and Hotarubi’s help…for the spirits of the ones we lost.”

The chancellor looked at her in surprise as the soft tone danced throughout the room, even Moby turned to look at her.

“Of course, we’ll start the proceedings to organise it with the two of you later today.”

Xena nodded in agreement as she hobbled out the room, she could already hear the beginnings of the screaming match lecture that the chancellor was giving Moby.

Sho met her outside the room, the campus was on lockdown today, not that Sho would’ve left Xena’s side today. He scooped her up as she sighed leaning her head on his shoulder as he looked down at her with worry.

“I’m fine~ sorry you had to wait long! Hope you didn’t get too bored haha.”

He clutched her closer to him, not wanting to make her too uncomfortable. She was fine after the bath, well as fine as one could be after everything that went down…but she only seemed to want a select few people around her, Sho, Alan and Leo being the main three and only three she seems able to tolerate at the moment.

“I’m okay honour roll~I’ll always wait for you.”

She wasn’t prepared for the tenderness in his voice or the crinkle in his eyes as he stared down at her, she couldn’t help snuggling into him humming happily as they approached Bonnie, he placed her gently down as he put the helmet on her.

“I can do things ya know.”

She giggled as he clasped the helmet onto her, grinning cheekily down at her.

“Hmm guess ya could~”

He tapped the shielded bit of the helmet as he copied her, he slid onto the bike as she wrapped her arms around him as they drove their way back to the vagastrom dorms.

[tibby]

If you have the time can you please please please recap season 4 of riverdale. I was going to binge it on Netflix but things happen and then I saw your post about the graduation episode and HAD to watch that happen and now I’m recommitted to the cause and need to know what happened while I was gone

sure. okay so the season sadly starts with the death of fred andrews in a very sentimental and moving episode that’s kind of seperate from the rest of the show so it’s not really until episode two that things kick off. the riverteens are kind of thriving in a parentless world because milf alice was kidnapped by a cult, dilf hiram and milf hermione are in prison, milf penelope is in hiding after killing a bunch of people, milf mary is kind of just There, milf gladys went back to toledo after her drug empire failed, god knows what milf sierra and gay kevin’s straight former cop dad are off doing, and dilf fp is the sheriff but because it’s fp he’s kind of bad at it. so the riverteens are horrified when their new principal mr honey expects them to be at school on time and disapproves of them throwing school dances because students keep getting murdered at them. cheryl, who an episode prior never wanted anyone in riverdale to celebrate the 4th of july ever again because of her brother’s death, considers this an act of oppression and throws a party at her house. however, as she is keeping her brother’s mummified corpse in the basement, she gets angry when reggie tries to sneak down there. meanwhile gay kevin is trying to make amends with betty for the time he tried to have her lobotomised because of the cult led by chad michael murray. betty uses this to her advantage to find out where the cult is, teaming up with her half brother, charles (not to be confused with chic, who was only PRETENDING to be charles back in season two). archie gets munroe, his prison buddy, to attend riverdale high, and reggie is weirdly jealous about it. archie discovers that this is because reggie is being abused by his father, so they smash in his car and apparently this solves everything. jughead starts attending stonewall prep, where he meets bret weston wallis, donna sweett, joan berkeley, and jonathan. he also reunites with moose, who disappeared in mid s3 after cheryl outed him to the whole school including his homophobic dad, and then his homophobic dad dressed up as the gargoyle to try and stop moose and gay kevin hooking up in the sex bunker they stole from dilton doiley after he killed himself, but it turns out that his homophobic dad was just angry HE never got to fuck gay kevin’s straight cop dad back in the day. it was this whole thing. anyway, moose is like “i’m going by my real name, marmaduke now, so people don’t find out about my dad” but everyone does anyway and so moose mysteriously disappears again. betty finds out where the cult is (after disarming a bomb attached to her sister polly using a bobby pin) and goes to rescue her mother. milf alice reveals that chad michael murray is using the cult money to build a rocket, and his wife/fake daughter evelyn is going to drive a bus full of cultists off a cliff. the day is saved! veronica finds out that her father’s real surname is luna and decides to start going by that as an act of rebellion because he keeps leaving the prison that he owns to fuck with her after she had him arrested. archie decides to turn his gym into a community centre with munroe’s help. cheryl, who, for unknown reasons, obtained custody of polly’s twins, immediately fires the nanny that toni hired because he said there were probably rats in the walls and went into the basement. cheryl goes to make sure that the nanny didn’t interfere with her brother’s mummified corpse, and toni walks in on her stitching him up. videotapes start arriving at the homes of the riverdale residents of said homes being filmed for hours. onto halloween! toni tells cheryl they can’t have a dead body in the horse and makes her rebury jason, at which point cheryl claims she is being haunted by a doll named julian, who is supposedly possessed by the spirit of her other brother that she ate in utero, but the haunting will stop if they unbury jason. toni agrees, but the doll continues to appear in weird places, and cheryl is forced to confess that while she WAS gaslighting her before, she isn’t right now. betty bonds with charles while receiving prank phone calls from polly, who is now in a mental institution. archie and munroe try to throw a halloween party at their community centre for the troubled youths but it’s interrupted by a drug dealing gang trying to start shit in the parking lot, thus giving archie a new enemy. reggie destroys mr honey’s office for the joke but mr honey catches him and is like “you do this because your dad hits you.” jughead uncovers mysteries surrounding strange disappearances of prep students known as “the stonewall four,” and donna drugs him so she and bretjoanjonathan can lock him in a coffin overnight as a bit. meanwhile, veronica burns a man alive in her basement. archie becomes a teen vigilante for the millionth time in the series, jughead and the other stonewall stags go into the running to be the ghostwriter for the baxter brothers franchise, veronica gets her mother out of prison but then finds out that her half sister, hermosa the PI, got their father out of prison, and he is now mayor again. betty and gay kevin start an fbi training course in which betty realises the serial killer gene is a real thing and she does have it, and remembers when she killed her childhood cat. jughead finds out that his grandfather who drunk himself to death but also abandoned fp but is also just some guy ACTUALLY wrote the baxter brothers franchise and is like “i have to reveal this!” so he takes it to his english teacher mr chipping but then mr chipping jumps out of a window before anything can come of it, and jughead is horrified when the stonewall stags have no reaction. cheryl is still convinced she is being haunted by a doll and things are further complicated when her extended family shows up. her uncle discovers jason’s body in the basement, threatens to send cheryl away, and is killed by toni. speaking of death, archie is still on his vigilante shit and asks hiram for help, at which point the near dead body of the gang leader, dodger shows up wrapped in carpet outside of the community centre. betty visits chic in prison to find out more about charles, and when chic threatens to reveal where milf alice buried the man she killed back in season two, charles and fp go to dig it up again and move it somewhere else. to get her family away from her and also in the spirit of thanksgiving, cheryl makes them think that they ate her uncle. dodger’s family show up at the community centre thanksgiving for revenge and there’s almost a shoot out, but thankfully the deep fryer explodes and chaos is avoided! milf mary later suggests the deep fryer exploding was archie’s dead dad’s ghost. betty and jughead spend the weekend at stonewall prep, where they play a homoerotic game of never have i ever with bret and donna. donna says that she and mr chipping were having an affair. now it’s time for the gang to go to therapy: archie gets diagnosed with gay but is also just suffering from an insane guilt complex, betty has mommy issues, veronica has daddy issues, cheryl is being gaslit but did NOT eat her brother in utero, jughead is just some guy. jughead finds out where his abusive alcoholic grandfather has been hiding out, and meanwhile his dad gets shot. veronica decides to fight back against her father by starting a rival rum business. polly rips off a nurse’s face and betty finds out that everyone in her family has a trigger word instilled in them by the cult, so she imagines herself going back in time to STOP her child self killing her cat to learn how to control it. cheryl uncovers her gaslighter by literally gassing her house, and it’s revealed that milf penelope was living in the walls and mad that cheryl had jason’s body. cheryl reburies jason and imprisons her mother in the sex bunker. archie’s uncle shows up, just in time for football season! the riverteens are playing stonewall prep, and reggie reveals that the preppies fight dirty, just in time for them to tonya harding munroe’s knees as he is their star player. archie’s uncle gives munroe steroids so he can play anyway, and riverdale loses but munroe gets a scholarship. cheryl feuds with her new cheerleading coach and locks her in her office so she has a panic attack. hiram threatens to sue veronica for stealing his rum recipe, so she teams up with cheryl (maple syrup queen) to create a new type. jughead joins the stonewall prep secret society, the quill and skull, and reveals that he watched a homeless man die. also, the cheerleading team performs cherry bomb. betty starts feuding with bret and decides to stand off against him in a quiz show, and although she wins, she is accused of cheating and is forced to give it up. she also wanted to use this to try and get into yale because apparently “cooper” is an uncommon name and people associate it with her serial killer father. veronica and cheryl enlist milf penelope and her former brothel in a hotel to run their underground rum dealership after hiram kept fucking shit up at veronica’s speakeasy. jughead is forced to come up with new stories for his baxter brother books, and so he writes about betty’s serial killer father (uh oh!) archie tries to restart his father’s construction company but his uncle’s shenanigans make it hard and gay kevin’s straight former cop dad has HAD IT. fangs is back from cult recovery, but gay kevin has gotten into non sexual tickle porn. toni and fangs get in on this they use this to blackmail nick st clair after he returns and understandably upsets cheryl, his would be rape victim. archie is attacked in the bathrooms at school because his uncle can’t mind his own business, but this plot was fucking boring so i don’t remember most of it. jughead and bret decided to duel, because of course, and betty uses this as a chance to investigate the preppies further. she finds out that bret films sex tapes and blackmailed moose with one, and also has one of her and jughead. she also finds a video suggesting donna lied about her affair with mr chipping. veronica goes to new york to visit katy keene, played by lucy hale of fantasy island fame, who tells her that her mother is dying. veronica returns home just in time to hear that hiram has a mysterious disease and decides to make amends. jughead is accused of plagiarism, meanwhile veronica realises her father thrives off war, and continues their rum battle. archie is now drinking at school and veronica accuses mr honey of being a fascist for having a problem with it. BUT. MOST IMPORTANTLY. ALL SEASON WE HAVE BEEN TEASED WITH DEADHEAD. AND IT IS FINALLY HAPPENING. IDES OF MARCH PARTY AT STONEWALL PREP. AND BETTY BASHES JUGHEAD’S HEAD IN WITH A ROCK. betty tries to prove that the stonewall stags did it instead but donna is an insane lesbian and thrives off gaslighting and fucking with her. because jughead died, betty gets his spot at yale. the core four are accused of murder but cleared of everything. jughead has a funeral, and bret’s attempt of proving jughead isn’t in the casket are thwarted by the sweet pea, the sweetest pea in the room. hiram shows up just to fire fp as sheriff. betty kisses archie to help with her grief, and veronica ends things with them both. but donna is not convinced, and goes around stalking betty, saying she watched her sex tape and knows that betty couldn’t last so long without sex with jughead. and she is right! because lo and behold, jughead is alive and hiding in the sex bunker, despite donna’s best attempts to catch them out. donna knows they’re up to something and implies she killed jonathan when bret doubts her. betty and archie are like “yeah we only dated for the bit :/” but their texting implies it was...more. betty and jughead return to stonewall and expose the preppies, but they decide not to interview jonathan because he “has food poisoning.” or he’s dead. their other teacher kills himself, and fp reunites with his abusive father. betty discovers that donna’s grandmother was one of the people killed for the rights to the baxter brothers/tracy true franchise, and the entire scheme was a complicated revenge plot by donna to get back at their teacher for killing her grandmother. betty blackmails her with this information so donna can’t have the tracy true contract, and everything is “wrapped up” just in time for gay kevin to announce he’s doing a variety show. gay kevin’s intentions of performing hedwig are destroyed when mr honey is like “no, this is inappropriate for high schoolers,” and so the riverteens decide to band together and have everyone perform hedwig songs as an act of protest. meanwhile, betty and jughead fight because jughead didn’t do his homework because he was too busy watching the stalker vhs tapes, and veronica and archie fight because he lied about her father working out at his gym, given that hiram has tried to kill him multiple times and doesn’t really care about his health. betty and archie use this as an opportunity to kiss during origin of love. the variety show is cancelled, but the core four and gay kevin perform midnight radio on the roof, and jughead watches a stalker vhs tape of someone in a betty mask killing someone in a jughead mask. tickle porn shenanigans continue, and gay kevin is threatened over cheating his original tickle porn handler out of money. mr honey then forces them to shut the website down. cheryl leaves the rum business after her mother is threatened because of goons that were mad at hiram. hiram decides to deal with this by going after said goons. archie writes a song for betty, they explore their relationship further, but she picks jughead over him even when he says he’ll dump veronica for her. jughead discovers that ethel watched his and betty’s sex tape, and he and charles uncover blue velvet video, which houses sexy films and snuff films, and jughead is like “oh this is connected to the whole vhs stalker thing.” cheryl is sent a video of someone dressed up as her father killing someone dressed up as her brother. the riverteens turn their focus to the fact that all of them except archie and jughead have been banned from prom for various reasons, and betty suggests they kill mr honey as punishment. jughead writes an elaborate murder fantasy about them doing so, and also kills off reggie and drives cheryl insane for the bit i guess. the riverteens conclude that mr honey was behind the vhs stalker tapes and have him fired, and he tells them they’re all deranged before going to teach at stonewall prep. the school secretary tells them all the wonderful things mr honey did for the school and hands jughead a recommendation letter he wrote him for college. jughead realises they fucked up and rewrites his story so mr honey lives, but uh oh! he and betty uncover a vhs tape of their fictional murder of mr honey, much like the others.

and that’s what you missed on riverdale!

[pianjeong]

congressional debate zukka au

this is inspired by @owlsantuary‘s post i was a congressional debater in hs so here u go

sokka is captain of his school's debate team; he joined as a freshman bc he was like "a club that lets me expound on my opinions for five minutes straight? yes plz" and was good enough that he made captain as a sophomore when the previous one graduated

- the idea of "politicking" is really important in congressional bc it's how you get people to support your bills if you wrote them, or if you have a really good argument and want that bill to be higher on the docket (bc sometimes you run out of time)

- sokka absolutely OWNS at this bc he's that guy that everyone wants to be friends with and half the people he talks to don't even realize that he has an agenda

- he also makes actual friends with the people from rival schools bc that's just what he's like

- his assertiveness sometimes gets him into sticky situations bc ppl get offended by him cutting them off during question time, but it's usually bc theyre trying to run out the clock and he is NOT having that

- i always led tongue twister exercises at the start of every competition to get our voices warmed up and im imagining sokka and his team SHOUTING the "betty bought a bit of butter" one in the middle of the hallway and getting weird looks (if you haven't heard of it look it up it's HARD)

- he always gets full points for pathos (yes that's a real thing) bc he'll tell jokes abt his teacher dads or his sister but then he'll turn around and make his dumb joke into a big-picture argument about the value of education or something; sometimes it backfires though bc he makes a joke at the wrong time

- i think he’d struggle with arguing for opinions he doesn’t agree with…bc he has CONVICTIONS and is basically physically incapable of arguing against like. a climate change bill or something

- this means that he sometimes scores low bc he only argues what he agrees with

- zuko is research captain for his team, which happens to be no. 1 rivals with sokka's school

- he is the master of the rebuttal bc he loves nothing more than tearing holes in people's arguments

- he isn't the best at being adaptible if the debate takes a turn away from what he predicted/researched for, and he does have problems with looking down at his notes WAY too much (youre allowed notes but youre meant to make as much eye contact as possible), but he always shows up with exorbitant numbers of sources and flattens people with FACTS

- when he's not speaking he is the most awkward of the awkwards and he despises politicking bc it makes him feel self-conscious; this means that he honestly doesn't have v many friends besides his own team but at the same time everyone Knows Of him and the "oh SHIT zuko sozin is in my debate room im so screwed" whispers are real

- he's better at arguing whichever side of the debate is available instead of only sticking with his own beliefs, which allows him to rack up a ridiculous amount of points bc he's speaking every ten minutes

- he's also at least co-author, if not singular author, of like 80% of the bills his school submits for debate (which also contributes to everyone knowing his name)

- sokka and zuko had definitely heard of each other before they actually meet; sokka bc of zuko's Reputation (tm) and zuko bc ofc he'd know of the captain of their biggest rival

- also bc they're always getting called up at the awards ceremonies for best speaker awards (and best bill for zuko)

- they do NOT understand what's so great about the other...but also are Looking Respectfully bc debate requires formal wear and ofc zuko shows up in a tailored three-piece suit and sokka's probably wearing his dad's old suit but makes it look good anyway

- this changes the first time they're assigned to the same room and sokka bounds up to zuko to introduce himself and immediately stutters bc o god cute boy cuter up close and zuko thinks this is precious but also has no idea what to say and blurts out something dumb and then they both sit down and look Determinedly Away

- zuko is very surprised when he finds sokka is actually kinda funny and even tho he thinks that him only arguing one side is disadvantageous he's also v impressed by the strength of it (and oh my god a good family relationship what???)

- sokka is floored by zuko bc his speeches literally sound like poetry with sources (insert that line from rwrb that's like "'see attached bibliography' is the single sexiest thing youve said to me")

- and THEN...they both get to go to the captains' lunches which is where they really sit and talk for the first time over pizza and sodas and maybe exchange numbers :0

- there is definitely "fraternization with the enemy" talk from their teams mostly joking but also sokka youre CAPTAIN you cant do that hes ZUKO SOZIN PLS STOP (spoiler: he doesnt care)

- it takes ages and ages for them to progress past being friends but they always sit together at captains' lunches and sometimes their teams....sit close at awards...and they trash talk and flirt across the bleacher dividers......

- it all comes to a head at the state competition which both teams make it to and they're both REAL nervous the night before and run into each other in the hotel lobby and it turns into them sitting up half the night talking and theyre both exhausted on competition day but it's ok bc coffee is a thing

- and then oh shit....sokka qualifies for nationals and zuko doesn't but someone else on his team does......and everyone expects zuko to be mad about it and sure he's disappointed but also hes just so happy for sokka that it kinda overshadows it

- they sneak away from the celebration dinner that both teams just Happened to be at the same restaurant for (actually, the sponsor squad aka iroh, hakoda, and piandao definitely planned this) and make out outside and tell their friends to fuck off when they come looking for them; they've both been dancing around this forever they deserve it

[spiderman-homecomeme]

nuts about you

It’s simple. Thirty days. All of November. No nutting allowed. Can Peter survive? A friends/roommates to lovers tale of stupid bets, sabotage, and most important of all, nuts. 

thotumn. day 11. free prompt day finale.

Thank you @spideysmjs​ for organizing this magical month for us!! Because I am TOO impatient, I’m posting this a day early (also to keep my tradition of not posting things at the right time). Enjoy this purely goofy adventure. 

--

Of all of the stupid ideas Peter and Ned have thought of in their ten-plus years of friendship, this one’s up there. 

Easily in the top three. 

No, it’s more than stupid. It’s ridiculous. It’s pointless. No one in their right mind actually thinks this is a good idea or that there’s any reason to do it. It’s an internet joke that’s too old, a meme that has no right being funny anymore. It’s run its course, and the guise of it raising awareness for anything other than the masturbation habits of penis-havers is complete and utter bullshit.

Again. It’s stupid.

Still, Peter Parker is not one to turn down a challenge, no matter how stupid. He’s nothing if not competitive. What can he say? If he won’t do it, who will?

This is what he considers as Ned lays it on the table for him.

All of November. Thirty days. 

Peter doesn’t know how the conversation even started or how they ended up betting against each other in the world’s most moronic challenge. All he knows is that Ned is more than convinced that Peter is weak and won’t last. In fact, he’s so convinced that he’s willing to bet money on it. His reasoning ends up being that Peter isn’t strong enough.

And Peter? Well, he’s convinced that he will make it, that he can survive an entire month without giving in to his desires to bust a nut, to beat his meat, etc. etc. And he, too, is willing to bet money—a stupid amount, maybe more than a hundred—on his own success and his friend’s failure. He doesn’t want to appear too cocky, but he’s more than a hundred percent sure he’s got this in the bag. Yeah, it’s thirty days of cutting out one of Peter’s favorite pastimes—if not the favorite—but there’s no doubt in his mind that he’s more than capable of practicing a little restraint. 

Still, confident as he is, there’s still that part of him that can’t help but dread the coming month the more and more he thinks about it. 

“So, definitely thirty days?” Peter asks, eyes narrowing in thought. He tries to appear casual, as if the idea of no release for that amount of time isn’t a big deal. It’s more for clarification. “November has thirty days?”

Ned scoffs. “Yeah. Thirty days.”

“Any strikes? Any free coupons?”

“Nope.” Ned shakes his head with a soul-crushing finality. “Why? You don’t think you can make it?” 

It’s Peter’s turn to scoff, face scrunching dramatically as he recoils. “What? No. I’m worried about you, man. What are you gonna do about Betty?” 

Ned fixes him with a deadpan stare, clearly not buying whatever bullshit Peter’s trying to peddle. “A bet is a bet. She will respect that.”

“How can I trust you, though?” Peter asks, eyes narrowing in slight accusation. “You’re always at her place. I mean, how’ll I know you’re not lying?”

Ned glares. “How can I trust you?”

Peter sputters, desperately thinking of ways to throw a reverse Uno at this situation. “Wha—I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m—I’m single, man.”

Ned blinks. Once. Twice. “Do we need to talk about Felicia?”

“That was—”

“Cindy?”

“Dude—”

“Johnny? Jessica? Gwen—”

“I get it. I get it—”

“Carlie? Oh—Debbie? Caleb! Then there was Angela—”

Peter’s expression contorts into one of confusion. “Angela?” He tilts his head, squinting, searching for any kind of memory. 

“Cute red head. You met her in line at Aldi.”

“Ahhh…” A knowing, borderline too-telling smile of recognition pulls at Peter’s lips. “Angela...” he sighs, almost dreamily. Okay, so maybe Ned has a point. But just because Peter enjoys the company of other people so much that he’s got his own version of Mambo No. 5, doesn’t mean he’s incapable of living without the warm touch of another human being or his hand. 

Peter freezes, glancing at his friend. “Okay. Well. What do you want me to do about that? It’s not like I’m gonna call any of them up or anything. I have some sense of self-control.”

Again, Ned blinks. 

“And besides, Felicia was freshman year… she’s our friend now. I don’t hook-up with her anymore.”

Another blink. “Dude.”

“Fine.” Peter huffs, whipping his phone out, eyes nearly rolling out of their sockets and onto the floor as he starts swiping through his contacts. “But I’m not deleting any of ‘em, okay?” 

“Peter…” 

“I’ll change their names! How ‘bout that?” 

A beat passes of silent, overtly-judgmental staring on Ned’s part. He huffs after another second, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Fine.” Then, his frown shifts into a nonchalant smirk. “Whatever makes it easier for you to lose and me to win.” 

“Please,” Peter scoffs. “I’m not the one with a girlfriend. You’re going down.” He tilts his head, narrowing his eyes, lips pursed in mock-contemplation as he points a finger. “Or I guess… Betty’s the one going down.”

Ned nearly chokes on his water holding back a snort. “Come on, man.”

Peter shrugs. 

“Okay, well, are you gonna change the contact name for your right hand, too?”

It’s Peter’s turn to spit out a laugh. 

But before he can even come up with another totally awesome comeback, he hears the jingling of keys, the clanking of locks as their roommate comes home after a long day of classes. All he sees is a flash of her curly hair before he’s tearing his gaze away from the front door, suddenly finding the pads of his thumbs to be pretty damn interesting. 

“Hey, MJ,” Ned greets casually, as if they weren’t just sorting out a bet where neither of them are allowed to orgasm for an entire month. 

“‘Sup.” Michelle flashes them a brief, closed-mouth grin as she makes for the refrigerator, swiping up some baby carrots and the brita filter. 

Really, the conversation from earlier should be done there. Nothing else needs to be said. Especially not in front of their roommate. 

But Peter can’t help himself. 

“Let’s shake on it,” he says, putting his hand out, knowing that the more he keeps talking, the more danger he’s in of saying too much. 

Ned takes it readily, eyes narrowed in determination. “Let’s.”

The corner of Peter’s lip twitches upward, but he holds it back. “No… Peanuts.”

“No walnuts.”

They have that understanding, speaking in the code that the two of them have just made up on the spot, something that Peter can’t help but feel pretty damn proud of. 

MJ glances between the two, carrot half-way to her mouth, frozen in place, brows pinched in suspicion. 

“Peter and I are giving up all nuts for the next month,” Ned says proudly, answering the question that she most certainly did not ask. 

“Cool.”

Ned throws a not-as-subtle-as-he-thinks-it-is wink across the table, giving a just as subtle thumbs up from behind one of his stray history books. 

Peter nods. 

“Why?” Michelle asks, her question—one that shouldn’t have been as much of a surprise at is was—causing them both to exchange wary glances. 

There’s a silence that follows, one that might clearly show that these two guys have no idea what kind of hole they’ve dug themselves into. Ned watches Peter expectantly. Peter glares back. 

“Is it like a health thing?” MJ offers, popping another carrot into her mouth.

Peter nods a little too quickly. “Yeah. Health stuff.” His stomach flips when her gaze meets his, her eyes squinting as she chews thoughtfully. 

“May thinks Peter might have a nut allergy,” Ned hastily spits out. When both sets of eyes land on him, he laughs. “So his allergist suggested going a month without ‘em. To see if that makes it better.”

And honestly, Peter thinks that’s a pretty damn good save. 

The best part is that MJ seems to buy it. She nods. “So why are you doing it, Ned?”

“Solidarity,” Ned offers quickly. 

Nice save. 

“Ah,” MJ purses her lips, though she still doesn’t seem to care all that much. “Well, good luck. I guess. I know how much you guys… love… nuts? I guess?”

Peter nods solemnly. 

When she turns back to grab a cup from the cabinet, he throws Ned a quick single nod.

Well played.

--

“So, Peter’s doing no nut November.”

Felicia nearly chokes, snorting as she struggles to keep her vanilla latte in her mouth. “What?” She asks after a dangerous second. They were supposed to be having a nice study sesh, reading about Bloom’s taxonomy, not talking about Peter’s nut habits. 

“He and Ned made a stupid bet to see who could last the whole month,” MJ answers, taking a quiet sip of her London Fog. “Apparently they bet a lot of money on it.”

Felicia’s face scrunches in amused confusion. “Why?”

“Do they really need a reason to do dumb shit?” 

Considering that for a second, Felicia nods with a satisfied frown. “Fair.”

“I bet against Peter, though,” MJ continues. “After he left, I made Ned let me in on it. There’s no way Pete can last the whole month, right? Not even a week.”

“Oh, definitely not,” Felicia vehemently shook her head. “I honestly feel like he’d spontaneously combust after, like, a day.” Then, she lets out a quiet snort. “Combust a nut.”

Michelle wrinkles her nose. “Ew.”

“But for real. He’s not gonna make it.”

“That’s what I said. Ned seems to have some faith in him though—no idea why. I told him that Peter wouldn’t even last a week… and now I guess I’m involved.”

“This would be so easy to sabotage though.”

“Right?” 

“Seriously,” Felicia snorts. “All I’d have to do is hit him up one more time and he’s gone.” And then, in that next instant, her face lights up like a Christmas tree. “That’s it!” Before she says anything else, she’s pulling her phone out, quickly scrolling through, looking for God knows what. “Girl, I am gonna win that bet for you.” 

MJ leans forward, curious, yet still cautious. She’s not sure if Peter hooking up again with Felicia is the best idea, given that relations within the friend group would just make things a giant, tangled up mess of complicated awkwardness. “How?” Michelle dares to ask, craning her neck to see what the hell Felicia’s doing on her phone. 

Her friend is quiet for a moment, locked in concentration on her screen, bottom lip tucked between her teeth, brows knit together. Then, she cracks a satisfied, sly smile, turning her phone to show MJ just what she was looking for. 

Simply; a picture of Felicia’s relatively new tattoo which, in and of itself, doesn’t seem like it would get Peter’s peter going. It’s pretty. Floral. Nothing to lose one’s mind over. 

No, it’s more the placement. 

It’s a tasteful shot, the simple flowers lining the underside of her breasts, her hands acting as makeshift pasties, just barely covering her nipples. 

Still, though there’s no actual nudity, it’s enough to make MJ’s eyes bug out of her head for a moment before she’s realizing what she’s looking at. 

“Okay. So?” Michelle waits for an explanation. 

“I send him this,” Felicia says simply, pulling her phone back and (seemingly) drafting up the very message. “Ask if he wants a closer look at it.” 

Michelle considers it a moment, knowing that there’s a very strong chance that Peter could almost immediately fall into such an obvious trap. The corners of her lips twitch into a casual frown. She shrugs. “Honestly. Yeah. That might work.” 

“Might?” Felicia almost scoffs. 

“You’re a genius.”

A smirk tugs at Felicia’s mouth as she leans back in her chair, swiping up to send the message before putting the phone down on the table. “I know.”

They sit in silence, the two of them watching the screen with bated breath. They both gasp when the read receipt pops up, followed by a dead silence. MJ can only imagine how stressed that boy must be, opening his phone, thinking it’s an innocent text from Felicia, then BAM, he’s vibe-checked by her boobs instead. 

She holds back a snort, her stomach jumping into her throat seeing the dot-dot-dot pop up at the bottom of the screen. It’s almost as if she forgets to breathe, waiting to see what he’s going to say to such a blatant come on. 

It’s like he’s typing a damn novel with how long it’s taking him though, and Michelle’s not sure she can take it much longer. 

And then, her phone dings. 

Felicia’s lips pull into a frown reading the message. “‘Wow. Looks cool! No thanks, though.’ Aaaaand,” she spins her phone for MJ to read it. “Thumbs-up emoji. Smiley face with sunglasses.”

Even MJ’s surprised at that response. Maybe Peter is really taking this No Nut November thing seriously. Maybe he’s not as weak as she thought. But… it doesn’t make any sense. Nothing’s adding up. 

And with this confusion, there’s a sense of relief, knowing his response. Waiting wasn’t fun. 

“Huh.” Felicia sighs, biting her lip in thought as she starts typing out another message and sending it. 

“What did you say?” Michelle asks. 

“I told him I’d been thinking about getting my nipples pierced and wanted to know what he thought.” 

At that, Michelle snorts. “You’re an evil woman.” 

Felicia shrugs innocently. “I think he’d really like ‘em.”

Truly, it’s a genius move. It’s something that Peter has to address; Felicia’s nipples. The idea of them being pierced. It’s too much for his brain to handle. 

And again, just like before, they get into a staring contest with the conversation, watching as the read receipt pops up again, immediately followed by the ever-cruel ellipses as Peter no doubt struggles with a response that’s not too-eager. 

But then, he completely throws them for another loop. 

“‘I support you, friend!’ with…” Her eyes narrow. “A smiley face.” 

“Wow,” Michelle says, genuinely surprised. 

And Felicia seems just as shocked, if not a little offended that one of her oldest tricks in the book seem to have no effect whatsoever. “Did he just… friendzone me?” She asks, absolutely appalled.

“You were already friends before?” Michelle laughs. 

“But in this context?” She huffs, shaking her head. A beat passes where all she does is stare at her phone. “That’s weird,” she says slowly, lips quirking into a confused frown. “Huh.” 

“There, there,” Michelle deadpans, patting her friend stiffly on the hand. 

Felicia laughs. “It’s fine…” She draws out. “A hit to the ego is good for me every once in a while.”

“Oh my God,” MJ rolls her eyes. “You’re still hot. Don’t worry.” 

With a sad, a little over-dramatic nod, Felicia’s frown deepens as she pretends to wipe at her eyes. “Yeah. I am.” 

“I can’t believe that didn’t work,” MJ muses. Really, she can’t. Peter’s perhaps the easiest person she knows—and there’s nothing wrong with that at all; it’s just a fact of life. The sky is blue. Grass is green. Peter is a thot.

“I guess he’s really following through with this whole no nut thing…” Felicia’s brow furrows as she recoils. “How much money did he bet anyway?”

“A hundred.” 

“Oh my God.”

“Yeah.” 

“How much did you put in?” 

“...A hundred.”

“MJ!”

“Listen!” Michelle reasons, holding her hands up in defense. “This is gonna be the easiest two hundred dollars I’ve ever made.”

Felicia sits back, clearly impressed. “Does Peter know you’re in on it?”

“Nope,” MJ says, emphasizing the ‘p’ with an audible pop. 

“Well—” Felicia starts, shifting in her seat, crossing one leg over the other. “—I’m sure you’ll find some way to make that boy give in. Sorry I couldn’t help.”

Michelle lets out a light snort. “It’s okay. You tried.” 

“If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know.”

But honestly, MJ already has a vague idea of what her next step is. 

And it brings her to his bedroom, to his desk, messing with his laptop while he’s out for his Sunday patrol. His password is entirely too easy to guess—really, you’d think a guy as smart as Peter would have something a little more complicated than “webshooter69.” 

If there’s anything she knows about Peter—maybe a little too much about her friend—is that while he mostly enjoys the company of a flesh and blood human being, he’s not above the occasional perusing of adult websites. 

The guy likes porn. 

The plan is to make his chrome homepage one of his regular sites. Confront him with the images that really get him going. 

She browses through his history, hoping that he hadn’t thought to delete everything or go incognito. And… luckily for her, that particular idea seemed to have slipped his mind entirely. Literally not even a week out and she’s found a slightly-more-than-nefarious-looking website. 

Easy enough. 

And it’s exactly what she’s looking for. Nudity galore. There doesn’t seem to be a corner of the site that doesn’t have a boob or a butt. It is truly Peter’s domain.

For a moment, she wonders if she should make the homepage specifically something he searches for… his favorite genre perhaps. 

She shakes the thought away immediately. It’s too invasive. Besides, the front page should be more than enough—there’s literally a video that frustratingly autoplays every time she goes back to that one page. And why would she need to know what Peter likes? There’s no reason for that. At all. 

Making sure to close out of everything before logging out, she slams the laptop shut, sprinting out of his room as if he was just about to get home. Her heart races as she slams her own bedroom door behind her, catching her breath proving to be more difficult than usual. 

And now, she waits. 

It turns out, she doesn’t have to wait very long. 

That evening, in fact, after Peter’s come back for dinner. 

He takes his time microwaving his leftovers from the day before, whistling to himself as he bounces around the kitchen. The whole time it feels like MJ’s just holding her breath, anticipating his early demise the instant he opens up chrome on his laptop. And honestly, this does feel like a low blow, like she’s just snatching up that low-hanging fruit—God, MJ, phrasing—but then she’s reminded that this, again, is the easiest two hundred dollars she will ever earn. 

And then she feels a little less bad about what she’s done. 

The second he’s finished with his food and disappears into his room, her eyes are on his door, and then it occurs to her that there’s not really a way that she can know he’s, well, “lost.” It’s all based on his own honor, if he’ll admit to succumbing to his most basic need. She likes to think that he would, though. Peter’s too much of a good, honest guy—hiding his secret identity aside—that he couldn’t lie to his friends about it. 

Ned comes home not two minutes later, deflating on the other side of the couch. 

“Rough day?” MJ asks, the teasing hint to her tone not going unnoticed. 

Ned rolls his eyes. “Told Betty I was doing this whole month thing.”

MJ winced. “Yikes.”

“Yeah,” Ned chuckles. 

“Well, if it helps, this whole thing is probably gonna end in—” she checks her phone. “—five or so minutes.”

Ned’s gaze darts right and left. “What… What do you mean?” 

Before she can answer, Peter yelps from the other side of his door. There’s a loud crash that sounds suspiciously like a laptop being yeeted across the room in a hasty, knee-jerk reaction. Before either she or Ned can move, Peter’s bursting through his door, eyes blown wide, his face drained of all color, and he’s frozen in place, one hand gripping the doorframe. 

And it takes everything in her not to grin. “Everything okay?”

Peter coughs, scratching the back of his neck, before his gaze lands on Ned in a challenging glare. “DUDE. Not cool.”

Poor Ned looks as confused as ever, his jaw dropping, brows pinching together as he glances between the two. “I—What—what are you talking about?”

Peter narrows his eyes even more. 

“Did I hear something break?” MJ asks carefully, as not to seem too suspicious. 

He startles at her voice, sputtering out a response that mostly sounds like the macaroni glue art of sentences. “Oh—uh—no. It—It was the—the laptop. There was—a thing. And—I just kinda—threw it.” He laughs nervously. “It’s fine though. Not—not broken. All good—” He throws some finger guns. “—in the hood.”

Her lips twist as she nods. 

Peter nods back, hands in his back pockets as he starts to retreat back into his room—though not before throwing another I’m watching you glare at Ned. 

As soon as the door clicks shut, Ned’s in full interrogation mode. 

“MJ, what did you do?”

She shrugs, toying with the loose thread of her hoodie. “Nothing much. Just… Set his default homepage to some porn. No biggie.”

Ned’s jaw drops, thoroughly scandalized, but there’s a hint of amusement behind his eyes. “Dude… That’s evil.”

Michelle gives another shrug. 

So, her second plan had failed. Even after surprise-porn, Peter’s still in the running. He’s still holding out. Almost a two days into November, and he is surviving, a surprise to everyone involved, and already, MJ’s running out of ideas. Well, good—plausible ideas. There are plenty of ways she’s sure she could compromise him. Take him to a strip-club maybe, but there’s not a doubt in her mind that he’d be able to pick up on what she was doing. There’s no way he’d fall for it. 

Hiring an escort was definitely out of the question. 

Theoretically, both of those could work. Were they good plans? No. Absolutely not. 

He’s already turned down a previous hook-up. He broke his laptop out of the sheer panic that seeing porn brought him. 

There doesn’t seem to be much more that she can do. 

It’s not until the next day, as she’s walking the clothing section of Target with Felicia that she’s struck with an idea. 

Felicia specifically striking her with said idea. 

They’re in the middle of the sleepwear section, MJ mindlessly rifling through the fuzzy sock bin, when she nearly collides with the underwear display. She’s distracted for a moment, wondering if it’s too soon since she’s bought new underwear to justify taking advantage of the sale, when Felicia nudges her with her elbow. 

“Peter’s really into pretty underwear,” she says as if they’re not in the middle of Target. As if there’s not a mom and two kids in the actual pajama section two displays over. 

Michelle recoils slightly, startled. “What?” 

“He’s like, really into it,” she says, taking a casual sip of her iced coffee, reaching over to pick up a particularly lacy number. “Just saying. Might be useful.”

For some reason, MJ feels a strange heat rise to her cheeks. “I’m not gonna put these on for him!”

Felicia smirks, holding a hand up in defense. “Who said anything about you wearing it? You can just… leave it lying around for him to find, or something.” She tilts her head to the side, both brows raising. “Jeez, MJ.”

“Oh…” Michelle says, though her face still burns. “Right.” 

It’s not a bad idea. In fact, it’s pretty good. If Peter’s as into fancy underwear as Felicia says he is, then maybe leaving them around like some kind of weird scavenger hunt is the best plan. She doesn’t buy much, picking a pair of relatively cheap lace and polyester. She could use her own underwear for this, but… that would be weird right?

(As if this isn’t weird enough already.)

And besides, the ones she’s buying are a little more extra in that department. They aren’t meant to be worn for long, not from comfort. 

They’re perfect. 

She feels like some kind of underwear fairy, planting them somewhere in the apartment, making sure they’re hidden, yet visible in a place that Peter frequents; it sticks up between the couch cushions, not subtle in the slightest. The second Peter’s butt hits that couch, he’ll see them. There’s no other way around it. 

It becomes another waiting game as she sits in the living chair, knees curled into her chest as she pretends to read quietly. It’s pretend because she can’t focus long enough on any single letter to let her brain absorb anything on the pages. Finally, the front door opens. Peter greets her with a cheery smile, making immediately for the kitchen. 

Good. Yes. He gets his after class snack. Important. 

Just as she’d planned. 

He emerges not two minutes later, bag of cheese crackers in hand as he launches himself over the back of the couch. “‘Sup?” he asks after shoving a mouthful of Cheez-its into his face. 

Michelle wrinkles her nose, her eyes unconsciously darting between the guy on the couch and the panties peeking out from the cushions. “Reading,” she offers, brandishing the very unread book.

Peter nods, tearing his gaze from hers after a beat and reaching for the remote. When he sits back, his hand brushes the cheap lace and he pauses, curious as he looks down to see what he touched. 

All of this while MJ desperately pretends not to notice. 

When he picks the pair up though, his brows pinch together, at first unsure as to what he’s actually looking at. “Uh…” 

At that, MJ looks up, seeing right as the realization sets in. 

Of course, she plays dumb—by staying silent. 

Peter quickly looks to her, eyes wide as if he’s seen a ghost. “It’s—it’s not—these aren’t—” His lips press together as he forces a breath through his nose. “I—Oh god—”

And then, for a split-second, she feels the slightest bit guilty. Is this actually a good plan or is she just tricking him into getting a boner over cheap department store undies? That, and is she technically lying to him by not claiming the offending undergarments? By making him freak out over nothing?

He seems to be having some sort of existential crisis, wondering if these really are from some recent hook-up and the psychological effect of not nutting in three days has caused him to forget. 

This was a terrible idea.

She has to put him out of his misery. 

“Oh, shit. Those—” Her laugh is breathy, short. “—Those are mine.” 

And instantly, Peter drops the thong, as if his hands had been burned. “Oh!” he coughs, his gaze straining as if he’s trying to keep his eyes on her face. “S—Sorry.” He swallows.

“Yeah.” Rising on legs that are shaky—from sitting so oddly in the chair for so long—she goes to snatch up the baby pink lace, clutching it behind her back before Peter can get another look. “Sorry. Must’ve forgot. Uh, when I did… Laundry.”

Peter nods, breathing out a chuckle. “Yeah. Yeah. S’fine.” He waves her off, scratching the back of his neck. 

But even after that, Peter still seems off. For some reason, he still doesn’t seem to be able to look at her for more than a split-second. He doesn’t say anything else, sitting in silence, his cheese crackers long forgotten on the coffee table. 

Michelle wonders if she should say something else. Break the tension. It’s awkward, obviously, because he feels weird about touching his friend’s underwear. Anyone would, really. He touched something that theoretically would be on her body; something that normally, he thinks is really sexy, or whatever. 

After another minute of some good old soul-crushing silence, Peter stands, excusing himself to his room without another word. 

Huh. Weird.

--

It’s the movie night that finally gives her that clarity she’s been looking for; that moment where everything clicks into place, and she can finally see how she’s going to win this. 

Ned’s out with Betty, leaving her and Peter alone not for the first time. 

She and Peter are sitting on the couch together, her head resting on his shoulder—because that’s what friends do, obviously—the two of them sharing a gray fuzzy blanket. This is a normal occurrence. They’re close enough in their friendship that some occasional cuddling isn’t too weird. Especially given how chilly it’s been lately. And, it’s comfy. Just some nice head-to-shoulder contact. 

But later in the movie, when MJ starts to get dangerously sleepy, feeling herself drooping further and further, unable to completely pull herself back to reality. Things are fuzzy, almost dreamlike, as she just pulls herself up from his shoulder, giving up entirely on watching the movie and just grumpily laying down right on his lap, his thigh her make-shift pillow.

This isn’t weird. 

It’s normal.

She’s sleepy.

And Peter’s a surprisingly comfy pillow.

Peter doesn’t even have time to ask what she’s doing before she’s just nestling further into his lap. She misses the pure dread and panic that flashes across his face when her head lines up with his head. There’s no safety here. Just a few wrong movements, and she’ll definitely know what’s up. She’ll be an unwitting tourist to Boner City, population: one. 

Peter has to do something. He can’t let this continue. Having his best friends head just straight up on his crotch is not helpful in the slightest. 

“MJ,” he gently nudges her, grimacing slightly when she just burrows further into him. 

He nudges her again, and she grumbles, finally opening her eyes and looking up at him. She puts a hand on his thigh to steady herself. 

Peter swallows. 

“What?” She asks, not opening her eyes.

“I uh—” Peter can’t seem to speak, trying desperately to come up with some excuse as to why he has to get the fuck out of there. “—I gotta pee.”

She cracks an eye open skeptically. “But I’m comfy,” she emphasizes her point by—once again—snuggling her face into his lap. 

Peter’s about to lose his damn mind. 

In MJ’s defense, this had started with the best intentions. She truly was just wanting to lay down and sleep on her friends lap—again, a perfectly normal thing—but now… even through the haze of sleep, she’s seeing how much this is effecting him. 

It hadn’t occurred to her until now, that she could be the one that makes him “crack.” They’re just friends. Sure, she thinks he’s attractive, and yeah, maybe she’s had the one or two or three sexy dreams about him before (even some soft, fluffy ones), but that doesn’t mean she thinks about him in that way. 

He's just Peter.

Sweet, adorable, kinda hot Peter.

Again, she doesn't think about him that way.

But she supposes it makes sense. Really, she should have known before putting her head on his crotch that he might get a little flustered from the proximity, that it might remind him of certain things. It's just the body's physiological reaction to a stimulus; the stimulus being her head. It's simple science.

So then, it would also only make sense for her to take advantage of that physiological response she's able to get out of him. Maybe not right at this second, given she's been a little blindsided by this whole thing. But maybe now she can rethink her gameplan. Now she has access to tools she didn't know she had access to before.

Her own sensuality.

She can certainly use that.

And it's not as if she'll do anything too out there. Just... make him feel the heat—the pressure—just a little bit. Make him sweat.

Felicia's of course delighted by this development, giving her full support in "seducing Parker into busting a nut."

(Her words, not MJ's.)

She'd also said something about how it's about time, but that'd been promptly ignored—mainly because MJ didn't know what the hell Felicia was talking about.

The problem is now, though, Michelle's not exactly sure where to start. After Peter had made a dead sprint to the bathroom the night before, he's been a little more, shall we say, cautious, around her. He bounces on his feet, trying desperately to appear casual, acting as if nothing was weird about their movie night.

She only has three days left in the week, so she has to think.

And fast.

--

Peter's not sure if MJ's up to something, but he can't help but feel as though she's acting... strange. First, the underwear thing, which made him feel all kinds of flustered and weird, and then her head being dangerously close to his dick. It's a lot. She can't possibly know about this No Nut thing, right? She wasn't there, and Ned wouldn't have told her... right?

Still, he tries to avoid her as much as he can, ready to fly away the second she's in the same room as him.

Truthfully, he's always had maybe the tiniest crush on his best friend. It's faded in and out over the years, especially in their college years. But it's always been there, even if just the ghost of one. And now, he's starting to see maybe how bad of an idea this was in the first place—No Nut November. His roommate is literally probably the prettiest person in the world and he's being constantly reminded of the one thing he definitely should not be thinking about under any circumstances if he wants to win. It's a disaster that should have never happened in the first place. This could have been prevented, he thinks.

He's not sure how he didn't think about that when he'd agreed to do this.

He just knows that he has to do something, though he's not sure what.

But any and all ideas of how to protect himself instantly leave his mind, crashing his brain, when he comes back to the apartment the next day to find it sweltering. He looks at the thermostat, thoroughly confused to find the heater set to eighty. He peels off his jacket, recoiling when the humid air sticks to his skin. It's hot. Too hot. Even for early November. It's not that cold outside.

He's about to call out for his roommates when MJ emerges from her room, and he feels like he has to pick his jaw up from the floor.

Her shorts are too short for it being fall. They show too much of her legs for his eyes to not be immediately drawn to them. Her white tank top is tight against her skin, hugging her form in a way that almost makes him jealous. And then, it's almost too much, too dangerous, when he can very clearly tell that she's apparently decided to forgo a bra for the evening.

"Oh, hey Pete!" She says, as if she's not looking like that.

"Hey—hey. Em..." He clears his throat.

Dear God. It's been less than a week. Hold it together.

"Is it..." Peter swallows. "Is it hot in here? The—the heat? Is it—is it on?"

MJ's eyes widen a fraction.

"Oh, yeah. It is," she replies casually. "Is that okay? I was just a little cold."

"So you turn it up to—" Peter stops, craning his neck to look at the thermostat on the wall. "—eighty-two?"

She glances left and right, as if there's nothing wrong with that temperature whatsoever. "Yeah," she says with a nonchalant shrug, her lips tugging into a frown. After a beat, she lets out a faint snort, apparently finding something particularly funny, before turning to the fridge. She opens the freezer, sighing as the cool air hits her face.

Peter doesn't realize he's staring as she reaches in, pulling out a box from the top shelf. When he sees what's in the box, he knows that his doom is near. It's bright, colorful. It's popsicles. He has to leave immediately if he knows what's good for him, if he has any sense of sanity left. She grabs a crinkling wrapper from inside the box, casually whipping it out. She holds one out to him.

"Want one?" She offers.

Peter can only shake his head, swallowing a near-silent, voice-cracking, "Nope."

And it's at this point, as she shuts the freezer door, as she starts peeling the wrapper off the way-too-phallic popsicle, that he knows he should run. It's not safe here.

But he's frozen in place, trying to burn his gaze into the intricacies of the granite countertops, tapping his fingers in an erratic rhythm.

He's an idiot, for sure, because he looks up at exactly the wrong time, right as she wraps her lips around the tip of the pop, her eyes meeting his for a fraction of a second.

How can it only be eighty-two in here? 

Thankfully, he gains some sense, tearing himself away from the counter and going over to actually turn down the thermostat. "Is it okay if I—" He coughs. "—Turn this back down?"

"Sure." MJ doesn't stop him. She wets her lips, hiding her satisfied smirk by taking the popsicle deeper into her mouth.

But again, he makes the fatal mistake of looking at her again, because now... well, now she's just messing with him. She has to be.

No one eats a popsicle like that.

When he thinks it can't get worse, she has the fucking audacity to hum as she pushes it further into her mouth. "This is so good," she says, half-way a moan.

Who actually says that about a fucking popsicle?

It's evil, truly it is, because it makes him imagine her swirling her tongue around it inside her mouth, and suddenly, the tightness in his pants gets even more uncomfortable.

He hurries to somewhere else in the kitchen, pouring himself a nice glass of water. It's still too hot in here. MJ sidesteps him easily, still inappropriately eating—sucking off—her popsicle. And he nearly chokes, because as his eyes meet hers again, she takes the damn thing out of her mouth—he thinks he's safe, but oh no—she slips her tongue out, licking a long stripe up the base, swirling it around the tip before taking it into her mouth again.

"What?" She asks—she fucking asks—when he can't look away.

And unsurprisingly, Peter can't speak. Can't even get a single syllable out.

"Is my tongue red?" She asks, sticking said tongue out that was just seconds before all over the popsicle.

"I'm gonna go hop in the shower," Peter spits out, dropping his water in the sink and making a mad dash to the bathroom, not waiting for a response.

A shower is what he needs right now.

A nice, cold shower.

He needs to take a deep breath. Think of not sexy things. Things that don't make his life out to be a bad porno.

Then, he needs to leave. Hide in the forest. Live among the trees, away from temptation, until November is over. Only then can he be at peace.

That's it!

Trees. Nature. Forests. Cold. Snow. MJ in the snow. Kissing MJ in the snow—NO.

NO.

He slams the bathroom door, leaning back against it. He heaves out a shaky sigh, running a hand over his face in frustration. How he can possibly survive the rest of the month, he has no idea.

MJ has to be messing with him, right? There’s absolutely no way in hell she’s not doing this on purpose. And why? Why is she torturing him like this? What has Peter ever done in his life to deserve this torment? It isn’t fair. 

No matter how desperately he wants to take care of the not-so-little problem in his jeans, he holds himself back, clenching every muscle in his body as he switches on a very cold shower. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to will the image of Michelle—his best friend and roommate—eating a popsicle out of his mind. It has absolutely no right to be there. 

And still, as Peter stands under the stream of freezing water, letting it run down his back and front as he holds himself up with one hand, he can’t help but think that the worst is yet to come. That somehow, someway, MJ would top simulating a blow job on an ice pop. He doesn’t know how she’d do it, but he knows it’s coming. 

He must be ready. 

--

Not to MJ’s surprise, Peter avoids her the rest of the day. He keeps his head down, not daring to even glance up at her as he walks past. Weirdly enough, this is a good sign. It confirms her hypothesis that her actions can have some sort of an effect on him. It helps her to know what to do next. 

And, well…

She’d be lying if she said it weren’t at least a little bit thrilling. 

There’s something deep inside her that finds all of this so interesting, so amusing. She wants to know how far she can go, how hard she can push before he cracks under the pressure. And the fact that it’s her that has all this power over him—it’s certainly a revelation. 

But still, even if this is “fun,” she can be professional about this. She would never let it get “too far,” whatever that would be. No, the goal here isn’t to seduce her way into Peter’s pants, but to seduce him—innocently—enough that he just does it to himself. 

Her next plan might be a little more unfair, a little more direct, and perhaps a little more daring than the last one. 

And—she should add—much more difficult than she had anticipated. 

For one, she just can’t seem to get the right angle, holding her phone above her body, making sure to get both the underside of her breasts—a tasteful amount of boob, thank you very much—and the same cheap, pretty pink undies she bought from Target. It’s awkward, tilting and twisting her phone, her thumb just barely reaching the shutter button. The first few shots aren’t anything to be particularly proud of. Too blurry, her arm cramping up from holding the camera up so long. This isn’t something she’s really done before, given she’s never seen the appeal. Why send pics when you could just, you know, show them the real thing? 

But for some reason, it makes her heart climb into her throat, makes her face almost unbearably warm. 

It’s when she changes her positioning on her bed, finding some nice light filtering in from the early evening sun. Golden hour has always proven to be exceptionally kind to her. She finds a decent pose, covering both breasts with her forearm, arching her back, making sure to get that perfect “booty tooch” that would make Tyra proud. She breathes out in an attempt to cool her heated nerves, parting her lips in a way that’s sure to incite some kind of reaction. 

Click. 

And then, she’s got the shot. 

Okay, technically it’s not a nude, but there’s something about the idea of sending this picture to Peter of all people that gets her stomach twisting in knots. 

And as her hand hovers over the send button, her heart hammers in her chest, hesitation holding her still. She takes her bottom lip in her teeth, beginning to wonder if this is the best idea. Her plan had been to send the picture, play it off as some kind of mistake, and hope that he goes to… take care of himself. Sure, it might get a reaction out of Peter—one big enough that causes him to give up this whole no nut thing—but it almost feels as if she’s crossing some kind of line. 

Miming a blow job on a popsicle was one thing—one that she can’t decide if she’s proud of or not. That was just a performance. It wasn’t something she was doing to Peter. This—sending him a racy picture when he’s literally in the next room—is a direct interference. 

Plus, there’s no telling what this would do to their friendship. It could ruin everything. Catastrophically. 

Awkward would be an understatement. 

She puts her phone face down on the mattress, avoiding the picture all together, before getting up and pulling on one of her comfy robes. 

God, all of this was a terrible idea. 

Wallowing in her own self-pity and regret, she flops back down onto the bed, grabbing her phone with the intention of deleting the picture once and for all. It’s still there in the text conversation, just waiting to be sent. She scoffs, shaking her head at herself, only for her heart to stop in her chest when—in her frazzled state—she hits “send” instead of that little “x.”

“SHIT.” 

No no no no no NONONONONO.

She drops her phone immediately, wrapping her robe tighter around herself as she scrambles for her bedroom door, nearly tripping over her rug in the process. 

Peter’s sitting on the couch, blissfully unaware, when his phone pings. And to Michelle’s utter horror, he picks it up. 

“NO!” MJ shouts, jumping on top of him. It’s a futile attempt really, seeing as her best friend—she stupidly forgets—is an actual superhero. 

Peter yelps as she pushes him down into the couch, tumbling onto the floor, holding his phone away from her grabby hands as she straddles his hips. “What the fuck—” And while he could push her off of him with a ridiculous amount of ease, he stills, becoming suddenly aware of their precarious position. 

“Gimme your phone!” Her voice comes out in a half-plea, half-demand. All panic. 

Peter still holds it away from her, his own brand of panic flashing across his features when his other hand naturally falls at her hip. He yanks it away, instead holding her back by the shoulder. “Why?”

It’s also then that he sees what she’s wearing—or rather, what she isn’t wearing. 

And in his distraction, Michelle snatches his phone, instinctively throwing it across the room. She winces apologetically when he looks up at her, jaw dropped and brow wrinkled. 

“What the hell, MJ—”

“—I’m sorry! I panicked!”

“Why?!”

“I—”

It’s then, as they both stare at each other in shock, that they both realize the position they’re in—but neither of them seem to be able to move away, frozen solid on the living room floor. 

Peter can feel his heart beating relentlessly in his ears, his throat suddenly going dry when he notices how tightly Michelle’s thighs are holding him in place. Another problem starts to arise when he sees how her cotton robe is pooled around their aligned hips, his eyes catching the sliver of shiny pink underwear when one side falls back. “What—” He clears his throat, his voice coming out uncharacteristically breathy. “—What was on my… my phone?”

“Uh—” She presses her lips together. “A picture.”

Peter’s gaze drifts lower for a split second, dipping to the exposed dip in her chest, drawn to the rise and fall with each breath. “Of?” 

“Me?”

“You?”

MJ breathes out a laugh, glancing down. “I, uh—accidentally sent… You a picture. Well—I meant to send it to you, not that like, it wasn’t for you, but I kinda decided not to send it… and then… I did. Accidentally.” 

And even though he’s trying everything in his power to keep his eyes on her face, he can’t help the way they seem to travel lower and lower with each second. He’s confused at first, but then, it hits him, like a train, what exactly that picture was. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

The air crackles between them, static in their ears. Michelle finds her own gaze drifting lower, lingering on his parted lips, a warmth pooling in the pit of her stomach. She shifts slightly, her breath catching as she suddenly feels the hardness pressing into the inside of her thigh. Peter stares up at her, something in his eyes bringing her closer, inch by inch. The warmth and weight of both of his hands tentatively, slowly moving to her waist causes something to ignite within her, and in a split-second, her lips are on his. 

Michelle’s surprised to find herself… well—surprised—at how this kiss doesn’t immediately turn into an all tongue-and-teeth, ripping-eachother’s-clothes-off kiss. It’s sweet. Slow and tender—as if the two of them are savoring it. Nothing like she’d expected Peter to be capable of. Nothing like how he’d painted himself to be from all of his hook-up stories. 

And she’s not entirely sure who’s “fault” it is when it turns into more. 

It could be the way she’s subtly grinding her hips against his, her body alight with the friction. 

It could be how his tongue swipes over her bottom lip, innocently at first. 

It could be her soft, breathy whines as one of his hands moves lower to cup her ass, pulling her closer, the new angle against his hardness bringing an indescribable feeling. 

And then again, it could be her robe starting to fall off her shoulders—she’s not sure who starts that, but all of a sudden she’s feeling cool air on her skin. 

She almost smiles into the kiss, thinking about how easily and quickly this “chaste” kiss had shifted. 

And it’s immediately after that thought that she snaps out of it. 

“Wait!” She says, pulling back and sitting up—but still staying in Peter’s lap. Before this can go any further, she has to tell him the truth. He has to be able to… back out of it. 

Where this sudden sense of generosity’s come from, she has no idea. 

He follows, sitting up with her, brows creasing, his expression a concoction of worry and panic. “Oh, fuck. I’m so sorry—”

“No!” She puts a hand on his shoulder after fixing her robe. Her thumb smooths over the fabric of his shirt. “No. It’s… fine. I just…” Surprisingly, she finds herself chuckling, unable to bite back her smile as he looks at her with concern. 

“What is it, Em?” 

It’s the nickname for her nickname that does it for her. Truly. 

“You good?” He asks, wincing as she shifts in his lap again. 

“Yeah, uh—” She coughs, trying unsuccessfully to hide the way her lips are twitching violently as she fights her smile. It takes her more than a few moments, the deep breaths she’s taking not doing all that much to help mask the humor in her tone. “—I know about No Nut November.” 

At first, Peter’s confused, staring back at her with furrowed brows, his mouth in a cute little ‘o’. He tries to play dumb, maybe thinking that he can get away with one final attempt to save his pride—letting out a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of his neck, he shrugs. “Yeah, my new diet. Crazy, huh?”

She blinks, blankly staring at him. “Peter.” There’s some amusement there, especially as she pointedly glances down to their current position. 

“What?” He asks dumbly. 

“Ned told me.”

Peter curses, wincing. “Damn it, Ned.”

“Yeah…” In a strange, very unwelcome bout of insecurity, Michelle removes her hands from Peter’s shoulders, twiddling her fingers together in front of her. “I made him tell me… and I kinda… also made him let me in on the bet.”

His eyes nearly bug out of his head. “What?!”

“We kinda made our own bet that like… If you lasted less than a week, I would get all the money.”

“You didn’t think I’d last a week?” Peter almost takes offense at that, even if there’s merit to her prediction. “Damn, MJ…”

“I mean… I also wanted to win. So… I kinda tried—or I guess have been trying… to sabotage you?” 

At that, his jaw drops. “No! Wait—You—What? I—” He stammers like that, his brain short-circuiting as she still watches from his lap. “That was—what? The porn? On my laptop?”

MJ nods, grimacing. 

“The… underwear? Just in the couch?” 

“Yeah…”

“And you were gonna…” He looks down at her, the cotton robe still just barely tied around her—the journey his eyes make also coinciding with his mouth going dry once again. “...That picture you took…?”

She nods again, looking down at her hands. 

“Putting your head on my lap?!” He asks, as if he of all people is scandalized. 

“That wasn’t part of the plan. That was kinda what helped me figure out that… I could just… do it myself.” 

“Oh my God,” he puts a hand on his face. “The popsicle. The fucking popsicle.”

“That was probably my best work, honestly.”

“That was so cruel.” 

And when he laughs, his eyes crinkling, she starts to see that maybe this will all be okay, and a sense of relief fills her chest. “Yeah, sorry. I also had Felicia help.” 

“You put her up to that?!” 

“Nah. She offered. I felt kinda weird about it—” She says the last part without realizing it, immediately shutting her mouth. 

“That’s why I said no,” Peter replies. 

It’s Michelle’s turn to be surprised. “What? Really? I thought it was just ‘cause you were so dedicated to this whole no nut thing.”

“I mean, yeah, I was but—” He laughs, reaching a hand up to smooth the curls at the base of his neck. “—I just… felt weird about it. With you guys being friends and all.” 

The way MJ’s heart flutters is strange, but not entirely unwelcome. “Why would that be weird?”

“Why did you think it’d be weird?” He throws back, his lips twisting into a curious grin. 

And not for the first time when talking to Peter, Michelle feels all knowledge of the English language leave her body. It’s strange, how much confidence she can have while literally dry-humping him on the living room floor, but how scared she can be trying to explain something about how she feels. 

She only shrugs. 

A beat passes, and still, Michelle can’t bring herself to move. 

“So…” Peter draws out after another moment. “All that—” he clears his throat. “—stuff… that was just to win that bet?” 

“Well, I mean—yeah?” The look of hurt on his face makes her heart lurch in her chest. She’s quick to correct herself. “But—I… I think maybe that could be a good thing.” 

His brows raise in careful curiosity, though he still seems apprehensive. “A good thing?” He asks slowly. 

Michelle nods, swallowing. “Uh—Yeah. ‘Cause… If I hadn’t then I wouldn’t have figured out that—um… I might—” It’s weird, how frustrating it is that she can’t seem to find the words she wants to say, that her brain seems to have completely abandoned her in her greatest, most dire time of need. And this shouldn’t be this hard. She’s an adult. She’s in her third year of college. 

Confessing the feelings that you’ve just realized you have for your best friend since high school should be easy right?

Right?

And she’s only just figured this out. In the last five seconds. That all these years of weird feelings, long glances, warm faces has actually lead to something, they’ve actually meant something other than a weird stomach bug or whatever. 

All it took was attempted sabotage during No Nut November for her to realize that. 

The power it has. 

“MJ?”

His voice grabs her attention; the caution in his tone snapping her gaze to his. And for a moment, she just looks at him, mouth hanging open as she tries to say something, anything. But still, she can’t.

So, she does the next best thing. 

She kisses him—again—trying her best to put all of the words she can’t seem to figure out into it. And although he kisses her back—easily—he doesn’t seem to understand what she means, because he pulls away not ten seconds later. 

“Listen—MJ—” Peter stammers, running a jittery hand through his hair as he breathes out a huff of laughter. “—I don’t think I can do—” He gestures between the two of them. “—This… if it’s just… casual.” 

So, he really didn’t get it, and now, she’s feeling the impatience creeping up her neck. 

“I really like you, MJ,” he confesses, and for a moment, she’s not sure if she heard him right, or if she heard him speak at all. Her brain must be playing some nasty, cold-hearted trick on her, because Peter—perpetually single and ready to mingle Peter—just said that he liked her. 

God, she feels like she’s a teenager again. It feels so high school, the amount of butterflies in her stomach hearing him say that. 

Even more so when she finds herself responding automatically, “I really like you, too.”

“Cool,” he says lamely, his breathless chuckle making her heart flutter in her chest. 

He doesn’t waste another second before he tugs her back to him, capturing her lips to his, one of his hands moving to cup the underside of her jaw. She tilts her head, letting out a gentle sigh as he deepens the kiss. His tongue brushes against her lips before slipping into her mouth. The weight of his other hand on her waist is comforting in a way, heavy and solid as he holds her in place. 

Truly, she hadn’t expected any of her plans from earlier in the week to come to this. 

Instinctively, her hand snakes down to his hips, sliding underneath the hem of his t-shirt and dragging across his stomach, smiling into the kiss as his muscles twitch underneath her touch. It’s then, as her hand dips even lower, palming him over his sweats that he seems to snap out of whatever trance she put him in. 

He grabs her wrist—gently, of course—pulling it away and breaking the kiss. 

His chest is heaving with each breath, the corner of his mouth twitching upward in an apologetic smile. “I—I can’t—the… the bet.”

And it dawns on Michelle then, that she’s been cockblocked by No Nut November. 

Even though she tries to appear understanding, he must be able to see the disappointment in the twist of her lips, the way she nods quietly. 

“But—” He starts, pressing his mouth together into a thin line. He nudges her, pointing his finger as he’s hit with a revelation, talking slowly. “—You’re not… doing… No Nut November…”

MJ lets out a surprised laugh, shifting in his lap as her face warms even more. A beat passes as she stares at him, giving him a chance to take it back. “Are you sure?” She finally asks.

Peter nods quickly, insistently. He’s got this. Clearly. “Oh. Yeah. Definitely. I’ll be fine.”

Yeah, she’s not sure how much of that she actually believes. 

Probably none of it. 

But, that doesn’t mean she’s turning down the offer. 

“Okay…” She trails off, unable to bite back her grin at the brief self-doubt that flashes across his features. “What do you—what do you wanna do?” She asks, her face burning, suddenly finding herself the slightest bit tongue tied. It takes everything in her to at least look calm and not like she’s about a half-second away from just jumping his bones. 

Or, one in particular. 

Peter clears his throat, the tips of his ears turning an adorable shade of red. “Uh—” He huffs out a laugh. “I mean… Whatever you’re comfortable with? I’m cool with whatever you want.”

He’s cool. Okay. Yeah. 

She shifts her weight again, biting back a smirk when he inhales sharply as she brushes against the hardness in his gray sweats. “Sorry.” Feeling merciful, Michelle climbs off of his lap, sitting back against the couch, curling her legs underneath her. “Any ideas?” 

Though, Peter can’t seem to tell if he’s happy with this new development or not—as hard as it was having her sitting on him. “Um—” And his expression tells her that he does have one. “I could…” He coughs again. “I could go down on you?”

It’s funny, how casually he says it, like he’s offering to give her a ride to the airport, or something. But it still makes her ears ring. 

“Yeah,” she says, nodding slowly. She swallows. “That sounds—that sounds good.”

“We should probably—” He gestures to his bedroom door, huffing out a laugh. “—not do this out here.” 

“Probably,” she snorts. 

The speed at which he scrambles to stand and runs to his bedroom, compared to her somewhat-leisurely pace, makes her let out the most undignified laugh. 

A silence falls between them as he shuts the door, the click echoing. MJ takes a moment to glance around his room—literally a single moment, because in the next he’s wrapping his arm around her waist, yanking her to him and crashing his lips to hers. His hands are greedy, twisting handfuls of the soft fabric of her robe, finding purchase on her ass and grinding her against his hardness. 

MJ revels in the groan he lets out as she melts into him, her hands winding themselves in his soft curls, twisting and tugging ever so slightly. 

He guides her to the bed, pausing to gently lay her back on the mattress before crawling over her, his mouth finding itself on the underside of her jaw, his lips and tongue dragging along the column of her throat. With one hand, he prises her legs apart, happily settling between them while his other fumbles with the tie of her robe. 

His eyes meet hers first, silently asking for permission, before pulling the thick string back. His eyes darken as Michelle helps him slip the robe back, leaving her almost completely bare underneath him. He unconsciously wets his lips as his eyes hungrily rake over the expanse of her body—he feels as if the only accurate description for how he feels at this moment being a deer caught in really well-defined headlights. 

She thinks for a moment that he’s just going to do this—stare at her—instead of, well, what he said he’d do. 

But he doesn’t seem to have that kind of patience. He lurches forward, his mouth hot on her neck, trailing open-mouthed, wet kisses down to her collarbone, her sternum, the swell of her right breast. 

She bites back a gasp as he takes her nipple into his mouth, her back arching off the bed as his tongue swirls around it, palming the other with his hand. It’s a sight to see for sure, Peter’s head on her chest, his curls tickling her skin.

His trail continues, back to the dip in her chest, lower and lower, his kisses hot on her stomach, down to her hips, the lace trim of her thong.

Peter sits back on his heels, breathless as he looks down at her. “Fuck—” He curses, drawn to the damp patch in the middle of the soft faux-satin, how it clings to her. 

He doesn’t give it another second, hooking his thumbs around the lace and roughly pulling them off of her legs. 

He’s diving his head down in the next instant, his lips leaving scorching kisses on the inside of her thighs. He thinks that he can maybe tease her, trying to slow his pace as he gets closer and closer to where she wants him to be. 

(Okay, it’s where he wants to be, too.)

He pulls back a little, trying not to smile too much at the disappointed edge in her shuddering sigh. As much as his mouth waters with her so close to him, he controls himself. Kind of. To a degree. He takes a finger, experimentally teasing her entrance, his sweats—somehow—tightening at Michelle’s quiet gasp as he touches her. There, he collects her wetness, coating his finger in her arousal, swirling it over her cunt, around her clit. And he sits there, marveling at how impossibly wet she is already. 

Though, it’s not long, probably less than a minute, before his impatience kicks in again. 

He thinks he might actually die if he doesn’t eat her out. 

Dramatic? Maybe. 

Valid?

Who’s to say?

But he can’t help himself, and any thought about slowing down is thrown out the window as he licks a long stripe up her center, his eyes rolling back as he tastes her. He dives right back in, his tongue circling her entrance, lapping her up. 

And Michelle can’t help but notice how at home he looks between her legs, how in his element he is as he moves to start sucking on her clit, flicking it back and forth with his tongue as he teases her with two fingers. 

His eyes meet hers and she wonders how on earth she’s going to survive this, especially when those two fingers push into her, curling as he pumps them in and out. 

“Shit—Peter!” She cries, her back fully lifting off the mattress as he picks up his pace, moaning against her. 

Clearly he’s enjoying this, too. 

A choked gasp slips from her lips when he slows suddenly, his eyes locking with hers again before picking back up even harder and faster than before. She reaches down, tangling her hand in his messy curls, holding him in just that right spot. Her thighs try to close on him, trapping him in as the coil in her tightens, but his free hand grips her, holding her in place. And she can’t fight the way her hips buck against him as she begins to grind herself against his face. 

It builds and builds, teetering just on that beautiful edge, when Peter adds a third finger—and then, she’s seeing stars, her brain going fuzzy as all of her muscles tense, electricity shooting from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She comes with a strangled moan, panting as her body’s overcome with pleasure. 

Peter’s movements slow, and he pulls off of her sensitive clit, wiping his mouth with the back of his arm, before taking each finger into his mouth, sucking them clean. 

MJ sits up on her elbows, her chest heaving with each breath as she watches him—and at that moment, her eyes drawn to the hard line in his sweats, she curses No Nut November again, because honestly, she’s never wanted him to fuck her more, never been so angry at a single month.

He seems to be in the same fire, his expression wrought with the inner turmoil he feels. His eyes screw shut, and he pinches the bridge of his nose, trying desperately to ignore how painfully hard he is, how he can feel his dick pulsing already, and how stupidly hot and beautiful MJ is. 

His decision’s made before he opens his eyes. 

Michelle lets out a surprised yelp as he leaps on top of her, his mouth on hers before she can start laughing. Somehow, his hands are greedier as they explore her body, squeezing and kneading her breasts, her waist, her hips, down to her ass. 

None of that’s to say that she’s complaining, though. Peter just ate her out like it was his full-time job, like he was stopping crime as Spider-Man. As far as she’s concerned, he can do whatever he wants right now. 

It’s when he starts to take his sweats—and boxers—off that she gets confused, if not a little too hopeful. 

“What about the bet?” She asks breathlessly when he pulls back.

He holds her gaze, his lips curving into a sly grin. “Fuck the bet.”

If there’s a god, Michelle wants to thank her right now. 

Peter’s hands grip her thighs, his fingers digging into her skin as he wraps them around his waist. He takes his dick in his hand, pumping a few times, swiping it down her center, tapping her clit, before Michelle suddenly remembers to use their one collective brain cell. 

“Wait—” she gasps. “Condom.”

Peter curses under his breath, hanging his head for a moment, biting his lip. “Yeah. Yeah. You’re right.” 

If she thought he was fast running to the bedroom, watching him scramble through his bedside drawers looking for a rubber is something else. A giggle—a fucking giggle—bubbles up out of her at his relief when he finds one. 

He rolls it on quickly, expertly, days of No Nut November clearly not slowing him down. 

He’s back on her in the next second, eager as he gathers her arousal and coating himself with it. 

They both let out a string of curses as he pushes into her—finally. Peter screws his eyes shut, taking a shuddering breath as he feels how warm and snug she is around him, almost unable to believe how well she fits him. MJ grips his shoulder, face burning as he gives her a moment to adjust, a moment to take all of him in. 

When he starts to move, they both wonder again why they hadn’t been doing this in the first place. 

As with everything else, Peter doesn’t waste their time. Even though he revels in how fucking amazing she feels around him, how he can’t even remember the last time this felt so good, so right, he picks up a steady pace, fucking into her like it’s the last chance he’ll get. He hikes her leg higher on his waist, the new, deeper angle causing Michelle to arch her back, a wet moan ripping through her. 

“Peter—” She chants his name over and over, unable to say anything else as his hips snap into hers. “Fuck—”

“God, MJ, you’re so fucking good,” his voice is almost a growl, lower and more desperate than he’s ever sounded. “Taking me so well.”

Michelle should’ve guessed he was one for dirty talk, though she can’t say she’s surprised. 

Or that she minds. 

Peter bites back a groan, stilling momentarily as she clenches around him, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He’s already so close, teetering just on the edge, but he’s filled with a sense of determination at the sting of her nails digging into his shoulders. 

His hand trails down her stomach, his thumb pressing her clit, scrubbing furiously as he pumps in and out of her. She squeezes him again, head thrown back, slack-jawed as he tilts her hips even further, the new angle causing a string of curses to spill from her lips. Her muscles spasm around him as she comes for a second time, her eyes screwed shut as she clings to him for dear life. His own orgasm crashes over him, and he moans loudly into her skin, holding her to him , fingers digging into her hips as he comes undone. 

It’s something MJ can’t help but want to see again. And again. 

He flops down on top of her, his head on her chest as he struggles to catch his breath. 

Her hand comes to smooth down his curls at the nape of his neck, and she smiles as he shifts his head to look up at her. 

“God, fuck No Nut November,” He breathes into her skin. 

A light laugh bubbles up out of her. 

He lets out a heavy sigh. “What day is it?” He asks.

“November fifth.” 

He groans, squeezing his eyes shut. “Damn.” He pulls out of her, standing up to throw the condom away, almost missing the bin in the corner of the room. 

“You made it longer than I thought you would,” Michelle laughs.

Peter flops down next to her, his eyes narrowed, though there’s still a smile on his face. “What?” 

“Well, yeah. I bet Ned that you wouldn’t last a week,” she replies, patting him on the chest as she gets up, disappearing into the bathroom. 

Peter’s eyes widen before he covers them with his hands. “Oh. Shit. Ned.”

He’s still there when she comes back; still naked, too. 

“Ned, doesn’t have to know,” MJ says, falling back into the bed with him. 

Peter peeks out from underneath his arm. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. We can like, pretend you’re still doing it.”

There’s a crooked grin on Peter’s face as he stares at her—a look that makes her insides gooey and heart fuzzy. 

And she hates how much she doesn’t hate it. 

“And when Betty inevitably breaks Ned,” she shrugs. “We can split the money.”

He shakes his head, amazed and somewhat scandalized. “MJ, you’re a genius.”

Again, she shrugs. 

“So, we can keep doing—” He gestures between them, brows raised. “—And let Ned lose. The money’s ours.”

“Right.”

He lamely sticks his hand out, offering for her to shake on it.

“Deal?” He asks.

She kisses him. “Deal.”

[writhingcreature]

Are you still doing the character ask thing? If you are- Jason Blossom?

I am ALWAYS doing this, no joke. I've been having so much fun please feel free to send in asks about any of the characters of any of the shows you see on my dash. (based on this post)

1. Favorite thing about them

Okay so here's the thing we don't see a lot of Jason, and what we do see isn't super flattering I'm gonna be real honest. I will say, wherever he started and whatever mistakes he made, the willingness he had to not only protect the love and relationship he had but the willingness this seventeen year old boy had to leave his entire family to be a good dad is genuinely so heart warming. Like you know what, not my favorite character by a mile but this boy chose his new family over his old shitty one and on a lot of levels he absolutely deserved the life he would have had if his shitty dad hadn't gotten involved. I bet it would have been happy.

2. Least favorite thing about them

God I will never forgive him for leaving Cheryl behind. He was valid for leaving! In fact, the narrative I've always gotten from Jason was thus: he was a douche, and then he met Polly and she made him a lot better but he was still very easily pushed around and so he decided the best way to find happiness was to get away. I have no problem with any of this. Only one bump in the road actually: why didn't he take Cheryl with him? Like... he was aware of all the shit their family was facing and all the really really bad things that were about to slam them in the face and he was just going to pass it all onto Cheryl who's even worse off than he was? Like. What the fuck Jason

3. Favorite line

HE DOESN'T HAVE A SINGLE LINE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG. Never says a single fucking thing. Not even one time. It makes me crack up every time I think about it

4. BrOTP

Again we have. So very little context for literally anything this boy has ever done, but I always hc'd that he'd have a really good relationship with Reggie. I think they were like best friends actually and that Reggie and Cheryl bonded over losing someone they both cared very much about. No I don't anyone named Canon sorry you have the wrong number

5. nOTP

Literally any pairings that have him with anyone other than Polly? I hate it. I loved the sort of story we get between them so much and no matter what happened with Polly's storyline after Jason's death I really loved the painfully little amount we get about their relationship. They were each other's freedom and GOD it makes my heart ache. Like they really were both trapped in so much trauma and bullshit and honest to god abuse on both sides and they found something good and it was so good they were willing to leave everything else behind? Amazing! Fantastic! I'm here for it

6. OTP

I have said enough about Jason and Polly at this point. It has a lot of negative connotations in the show as a ship but I think when they were together it was very good.

7. Random headcanon

Jason learned classic "woman work" while Polly and he were planning on running away. He promised her he was going to take care of her and he was going to hold up that promise. They talked about baby names while he learned to sew and cook and clean and Polly learned how to knit and she'd make sweaters and he would sew the buttons on you cannot convince me it was any other way.

8. Unpopular opinion

I am genuinely terrified of posting this because I already know people are going to come for me - "But Cameron they're related!!!" Okay listen here. First of all, they're like cousins five times removed or some shit and at that point it's just too far of a relation to matter. Not as far as I'd like, but like. It was like Betty's dad great grandfather wasn't it? I don't know, but my weird take is that it's a big enough gap. They never hit me as incest, the show was just trying to be really fucking dramatic. (Please don't lynch me oh my god.)

9. Song I associate them with

"Better Man" by 5 Seconds of Summer

10. Favorite picture of them

This is literally the only good image I could find if him so here ya go folks

[jazziehart]

Taylor Swift Albums Reviews

Hello my lovely blog readers,

I want to thank those of you who stick around through all my crazy rants and long Glee posts. You guys are the real MVPs and I will always appreciate you.

Anyway onto why we're here, in the wake of Taylor rereleasing her albums I found it fitting to take a look back at her discorgaphy so far! Thanks to my good friend Aly, I decided to relisten to all of her albums which the order was randomly decided. I will be talking about the deluxe editions so enjoy!

Let's start off with the first album that was drawn first which was Red.

One of my favorite albums right off the bat with probably her best album cover. I remember how excited I was for 22, mostly because my girl Dianna Agron's name was in the liner notes. Let's dive into what I thought now about 9 years later!

Favorite Track: Begin Again Least Favorite Track: The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody) Bonus Track I Wish was on the main album: All of them!!! Favorite Bonus Track: The Moment I Knew Album Ranking: 6th/9

Overall I adore this album so so much. The only track I didn't care for in the least was The Last Time. I think you'll find a trend with me that my least favorite Tayor tracks tend to be her duets (the exception being Everything Has Changed which is also on this album and is the purest of all). The album has held up and even moreso I love it than the first time I listened. Crazy. Anyway onto the rankings of each song. DISCLAIMER: These are just my opinions and you can disagree with them but please be respectful.

1) Begin Again 2) The Moment I Knew 3) State of Grace (Acoustic Version) 4) I Almost Do 5) Stay Stay Stay 6) All Too Well 7) Everything Has Changed (featuring Ed Sheeran) 8) 22 9) Come Back...Be Here 10) Red 11) I Knew You Were Trouble 12) The Lucky One 13) We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together 14) Starlight 15) Girl at Home 16) Sad Beautiful Tragic 17) State of Grace 18) Holy Ground 19) Treacherous 20) The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody)

Honestly I adore this album so much as a whole and ranking every song was so hard. Holy Ground honestly had a lot of potiental I hated the arrangement but if I heard an acoustic version I would be sold, much like State of Grace which I wasn't huge on the original but the acoustic I'm obsessed with. Moving onto our second album which is one of Taylor's newest.

folklore! Funny enough on first listen I wasn't as into it as everyone else was but trust me, the relisten definitely helped me change my mind. I also heard the lakes for the first time which I loved. Since it's the only bonus track I'm going to say I definitely wished it had made the main album over some of the other songs on it. Let's dive into my thoughts and rankings.

Favorite Track: mad woman Least Favorite Track: invisible string Album Ranking: 9th/9

1) mad woman 2) the 1 3) the last great american dynasty 4) mirrorball 5) hoax 6) peace 7) seven 8) august 9) my tears richocet 10) the lakes 11) cardigan 12) betty 13) illicit affairs 14) epiphany 15) this is me trying 16) exile (featuring Bon Iver) 17) invisible string

Okay I know cardigan and betty being so low is going make people unhappy but honestly I just loved the other songs better listed above it. So many gorgeous songs and a great era for Taylor. It's not my favorite era and still falls in my lower half of her albums but I can appreciate the tracks on it more than I did before with the relisten.

Now onto Taylor's most recent album which came up next in our randomization in evermore

Unlike folklore on original listen I absolutely adored this album and had it in my top tier Taylor albums but will that opinion hold up? Let's find out.

Favorite Track: no body, no crime (featuring HAIM) Least Favorite Track: gold rush Favorite Bonus Track: it's time to go Album Ranking: 7th/9

1) no body, no crime (featuring HAIM) 2) happiness 3) champagne problems 4) willow 5) cowboy like me 6) dorothea 7) majorie 8) evermore (featuring Bon Iver) 9) closure 10) long story short 11) ‘tis the damn season 12) ivy 13) it’s time to go 14) coney island (featuring The National) 15) right where you left me 16) tolerate it 17) gold rush Okay let's talk about the relisten, it still held up but to me the one thing I didn't love about the album was the bonus tracks didn't add much to the original album so I kind of see why they were bonus tracks. I enjoyed the album none the less and I do think that most of my opinions are somewhat popular. I only see people being mad about 'tis the damn season being so low but honestly 1-11, I loved all the tracks so.

Up next is the rerelease that started it all, Fearless!

Now let's see after 13 years (hey Taylor's lucky number) if my opinion of this iconic album changed. Back in the day I was so obsessed with this album so let's see how I feel now!

Favorite Track: You're Not Sorry Least Favorite Track: The Way I Loved You Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Forever and Always (Piano Verison) and Come in with the Rain Favorite Bonus Track: Forever and Always (Piano Version) Album Ranking: 4th/9

1) You’re Not Sorry 2) White Horse 3) Love Story 4) You Belong with Me 5) Change 6) Forever and Always (Piano Version) 7) Fifteen 8) Hey Stephen 9) Come in with the Rain 10) Jump Then Fall 11) Fearless 12) Forever and Always 13) The Best Day 14) The Other Side of the Door 15) Breathe (featuring Colbie Cailaitt) 16) Untouchable 17) SuperStar 18) Tell Me Why 19) The Way I Loved You

I still remember when this album was first coming out how jazzed and excited I was for it. It was highly anticipated for me being that I had fallen in love with Taylor from her debut album and listening back it still holds up as one of my favorite albums. The only two tracks I wasn't into back then and still am not into are Tell Me Why and The Way I Loved You. Other than those two tracks the entire album is incredible to listen to. I'm so excited to hear Taylor's versions of all these songs and who knows maybe my mind will change on some of them.

Moving onto the next album to be randomly selected which is almost every Swiftie's favorite 1989.

Funny enough, originally this album isn't in my top favorites so who knows if my opinion will change on a relisten. Let's find out!

Favorite Track: Clean Least Favorite Track: I Wish You Would Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them?! Come on Taylor what's up with 1989 and Red having like some of their best tracks as bonus tracks. I'm mad haha. Favorite Bonus Track: Wonderland (gee I wonder why) Album Ranking: 5th/9

1) Clean 2) Wonderland 3) Wildest Dreams 4) This Love 5) You are in Love 6) Welcome to New York 7) Shake It Off 8) Blank Space 9) Bad Blood 10) Style 11) How You Get the Girl 12) Out of the Woods 13) New Romantics 14) I Know Places 15) All You Had to Do was Stay 16) I Wish You Would

Okay listening back. I now get the hype behind it. Listening to it with bonus tracks honestly makes all the difference. No joke. It's a much better album with the bonus tracks added. Honestly if Wonderland and You are in Love were on the main album it would've been top tier to me. Thank God for the deluxe version but team Taylor what is up with you hiding some of her best tracks and only releasing them on the bonus tracks? I'm mad. Also speaking on Wonderland, I adore the song even without the rumours of it being about my favorite celebrity Dianna Agron. Had the bonus tracks been on the main album it would higher but as a whole I love the album.

And now for our next album, which is reputation!

This is probably Taylor's most controversial albums, some love it and some hate it. I actually am somewhere in the middle. I love some of the tracks while others I could've done without. Let's see where it goes for me listening back.

Favorite Song: New Year's Day Least Favorite: Dancing with Our Hands Tied Album Ranking: 8th/9

1) New Year's Day 2) Gorgeous 3) Don’t Blame Me 4) This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things 5) I Did Something Bad 6) Dress 7) Delicate 8) Call It What You Want To 9) ...Ready for It? 10) Look What You Made Me Do 11) King of my Heart 12) Getaway Car 13) So It Goes... 14) End Game (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future) 15) Dancing with Our Hands Tied

Okay I feel like my choices here are controversal especially Getaway Car being pretty low on the album. Honestly I liked the song just wasn't into the hype that everyone else said about it, sorry you guys. Also Dancing with Our Hands Tied on the ALBUM is my least favorie song. I absolutely adored Taylor's acoustic version that was in the rep Tour. Had she released that on the album it would be after Look What You Made Me Do. The arrangement on the album I just didn't care for and I prefer acoustic Taylor which I think a lot of you gather from my top picks.

Anyway moving onto to our next album that was randomized which is...Taylor Swift!

Ah yes the album that started it all. 15 years ago I discovered Taylor Swift via this album thanks to CMT. I was a huge country music stan back in the day who knew how this one album would lead to a career I've been following for 15 years. Now how does this album hold up? Let's find out!

Favorite Song: Should've Said No Least Favorite Song: A Perfectly Good Heart Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Invisible and I'm Only Me When I'm with You Favorite Bonus Track: Invisible Album Ranking: 3rd/9

1) Should’ve Said No 2) Invisible 3) Cold as You 4) Picture to Burn 5) Our Song 6) The Outside 7) A Place in This World 8) Teardrops on My Guitar 9) Stay Beautiful 10) Tim McGraw 11) I’m Only Me When I’m with You 12) Mary’s Song (Oh My My My) 13) Tied Together with a Smile 14) A Perfectly Good Heart

This album still holds up 15 years later and made me so nostalgic. This had to be the hardest album for songs to rank thus far. Taylor hit it out of the park on her very first album crazy. She set the bar very high, funny enough it's the first album that a bonus track is my least favorite track but the entire album is a great listen, especially if you love country. It's very different from anything else Taylor did but that's what's so charming about it.

And now onto our second to last album which is another one of my favorites and the only album Taylor wrote fully on her own, Speak Now.

The album cover is up there with Red as my favorite and I'm excited to listen back to this album. I remember how much I enjoyed it when it was first released. Excited to see what I think 11 years later. Let's find out.

Favorite Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version) Least Favorite Track: Last Kiss Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them. Dang it Taylor they deserved to be on the main album. Favorite Bonus Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version) Album Ranking: 2nd/9

1) Haunted (Acoustic Version) 2) Long Live 3) Haunted 4) Better Than Revenge 5) Back to December (Acoustic Version) 6) Mine 7) Back to December 8) Mean 9) If This Was a Movie 10) Innocent 11) Dear John 12) Speak Now 13) Ours 14) Never Grow Up 15) The Story of Us 16) Superman 17) Enchanted 18) Sparks Fly 19) Last Kiss

One of Taylor's absolute best albms and it was incredibly hard to rank these songs. I know people are going to be mad about Enchanted being low but I just didn't love it as much as the other tracks on the album, this after all is one of the best albums she ever released so it's incredibly hard to make the call.

Moving onto our final album which I've called my absolute favorite, Lover.

It's only been an year since its release but will it hold up as my favorite album? Let's find out!

Favorite Track: Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince Least Favorite Track: It’s Nice to Have a Friend Album Ranking: 1st/9

1) Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince 2) Paper Rings 3) Lover 4) Soon You’ll Get Better (featuring The Chicks) 5) You Need to Calm Down 6) The Archer 7) The Man 8) Daylight 9) Afterglow 10) I Think He Knows 11) False God 12) Death by a Thousand Cuts 13) Cruel Summer 14) Cornelia Street 15) I Forgot That You Existed 16) ME! (featuring Brendan Urie from Panic! at the Disco) 17) London Boy 18) It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Yep it held up. This album is my favorite thing Taylor ever released. It was a tough call because I loved all of her top albums so much. Miss Americana still is my favorite performance which is no surprise, I was obsessed when this song came out 2 years ago. It's Nice to Have a Friend is the weakest track on the album but by no means is it a bad track. The entire album is a great listen all the way through, the only song that's hard to listen to especially if you have a sick parent "Soon You'll Get Better" I literally bawled after I finished it. So if you don't want an emotional song that might make you sad, it's best to skip it even though it's one of favorite tracks.

And that does it for us here. Hope you enjoyed my album reviews! Just to recap here's the rankings of all of Taylor's Albums:

1) Lover 2) Speak Now 3) Taylor Swift 4) Fearless 5) 1989 6) Red 7) evermore 8) reputation 9) folklore

Excited to see what's to come with the rerelease of Fearless and to hear the songs released from the vault. I've heard a few of her unreleased songs and honestly there are quite a few that I'm hoping are released. Thanks for enjoying us on this journey as always be kind and always spread love <3

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 15, finally):

Favorite episodes (in chronological order):

15:4 Atomic Monsters - Demon!Sam flashbacks! Dean in a beard! Some old fashioned banter! Meatman! Beaverdale! Love how Sam starts arguing w the parents in the parking lot - Me too, Sam, me too. Loving the self-aware monster. I know Becky is problematique™, but I dig her, so, all kinds of fuck Chuck. He must die, and when he does this is the episode I’ll think about.

15:6 Golden Time - Badass protection spells. Dean in a robe and a hot dog pyjamas. Cas going by Clarence. Jogging Sam. Eileen! God I ship her and Sam, and I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that I don’t ship him w anyone. Liking this ep a lot, every little side plot. Nice. And Eileen is back and I know it won’t last but like, that was awesome.

15:10 The Heroes’ Journey - Pretty neat intro. Monster on monster violence to the sound of Clair the Lune. Oh, and excellent casting of Garth’s kids. Regular people trouble... Awesome! Brilliant! This is the kind of meta storylines this show should deal in, exclusively. Oh my Garth! Explosives! Why isn’t every episode like this?

15:11 The Gamblers - Oh, is this another lucky coin episode? In that case yes please! More inconsequential bullshit kindly! Loving Sam staying in touch w Eileen. Hey guys, remember when you did the gambling thing w your years? And the rabbit’s foot? Good times. Will this be an equally good time? I hope so. A god! Excellent. ”Lady, I’m Tolstoy.” Yeah ya are, and i’m dead. The guys and Fortuna bashing god. And I'm equally delighted and distraught over the lore that god created man, man imagined gods and god decided to create the other gods to play into man’s ideas, or as a distraction.

15:13 Destiny’s Child - Omg the intro! Savage garden! I’m dead. Jack w the sandwich, why is that so funny? Cas is a gem this episode! ”’Sexually intimate’?” Lol. That’s what you get for trying to speak plainly, Cas! Hunter Corp. I’m dead, again. Keep the different Deans and Sams coming! I’m digging this! Why would they send ‘em to Rio? They could be your buffy-bots!

15:14 Last Holiday - Weird people popping up in the hq is awesome. And Dean’s immediate instinct to yell for Sam reminds me of me calling mr mess for everything! ”Shouldnt you be in the woods? Nymfing?” Monster radar? Oh, oh this is excellent. So mrs Butters is capable of murder when home and family are threatened, good for her. They better not kill her. I can accept them returning her to the wild. Yes! Did I call it or did I call it? Good Supernatural, good boy! And Dean making a cake for Jack! My heart.

Fail episodes (in chronological order):

15:2 Raising Hell - Rowena! Instant win. Ketch. Instant lose. Ketch undressing Rowena with his eyes = rating plummeting. Jeez. A bit dangerous even joking about the GoT finale, don’t you think? Rowena and Ketch full on flirting... this is hell, I'm being punished.

15:3 The Rupture - Don’t call him god! His name is Sucky-Chucky. The shock of Cas! “You’ve been playing us the whole time!” This is how it works Cas, where have you been? They're always solving problems like Jason Mendoza. In-Dean-angry-voice: “Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem.” Rowena! And Sam! No!

15:5 Proverbs 17:3 - Listen, spn, it’s your last season and if you like just wanna stop writing and casting women completely rn i won't stop you or hold it against you (also why are these ladies identical?). We’ve had a terrible run but lets just let bygones be bygones.

15:8 Our father, who aren’t in heaven - Gosh, having Eileen in the show is painful, I’m just constantly expecting a piano to fall on her head. *Ugh* Sucky-yucky-Chucky. But hey, at least everybody else looks better alongside him. Case and point: I never rly cared that much for Donatello, but it’s great to see him, and Michael’s back, sure is nice to see him too.

15:9 The trap - Ugh. Main plot shit and Sucky-yucky-fucking-Chucky. Fail. Although the flashforward to jan 6th 2021 was a hoot (but probably not meant like one, huh?) Dean’s monologue in purgatory though... gosh. This show would be nothing w/o Jensen Ackles. Omg the kiss! Nice. However, the show at this point has lost the ability to offer any sort of pleasure. Because like Sam, we know which way this will go. They used to have some hedonism working for the characters but now they don’t even have that.

15:20 Carry on - You know what? I’m not gonna make this post longer than it already is talking about the last episode of Supernatural, that has been done better by people w real grievances w the show. The kindest thing you can say about the finale is that it just as well could’ve been jammed into a few extra minutes added to the previous episode.

Mediocre mentions:

Drag me away (from you) - what is this ugly cell interface? The opposite of product placement. Yay! Retro episode! And they got the same actor to play Dean, neato! Dean admitting he had a hard time handling hunting, that always gets me. Woah! That scream effect without reverb was kinda startling. And the camera zooming in on the little porcelain clown even though Sam is nowhere n- oh shit. This was an interesting episode

Inherit the earth - Goooood I hate Chucky. Barefoot Sam is okay though. Digging this soundtrack too. Very un-Supernatural. Nice to meet ya Betty, but I wouldn’t pull up a chair if I were you. Always a fan of the shiteating grin. Jack, stripping god of his power, that’s so hot. And again: kudos to the soundtrack! The Youngbloods and then Jackson freakin’ Browne! And you know, it’s clichéd and kinda vacant, but also kinda nice. I’m cool with the story ending like this. Why did they have to do another one? Supernatural has never known when to quit, and this is the very real backside of this.

Honorable mentions:

I don’t know who this Ardat chick is but killing Ketch puts her instantly in my win column.

Winchester-dumb, new household term.

”Feels like were taking a big, probably stupid risk. Feels good.” That made me feel good too.

I’m vastly enjoying this dark-art hippie couple in Unity and Jack’s interaction w them.

Cas launching straight into his dramatic I-will-not-let-you-end-your-own-life-speech when Sam casually mentions he’d like to talk to death in Unity, that angel has seen some things, and he has learned.

Those are some pretty pretty death effects on Jack in Despair/The Truth.

Obviously Misha Collins

Things that makes you go hmm:

Which of the clowns is this supposed to be in Back and to the Future? Because the one from season 2 was a monster, right? So he would’ve gone to purgatory. You know what? I’m not an expert. I try to not pay too much attention ’cause it makes me funny in the head. But just, y’know, a general objection.

Here’s my deal w death as a looming threat in this show: it holds no weight. And even if it did it has been painted as the ultimate relief, unless you go to hell, these characters know for a fact that there’s a potentially blissful afterlife, so their attitude towards death should be, what? More pragmatic, I think. And it’s partly why Ackles is wasted on this show; That man can deliver a death monologue like it’s nobody’s business, too bad all those words have been rendered meaningless after 15 seasons of this shit!

Summing up:

So, I did not go into or leave this season happy, I knew how it would end and I was sad for everyone the show screwed over (more than it already had). Which really meant that I always had to force myself to watch another episode, knowing what was coming. But I had to see it through. I did, so I’ll give myself a pat on the back and get to work on my own personal selection of episodes that will henceforth represent spn to me. A selection I’ll enjoy all the way through. All in all I think the most frustrating thing about the show is how it insists on taking itself so freakin’ seriously. It has always done horror *and* humor best and this whole heaven and hell aspect has never sat right w me, and in any case they should’ve leaned more on “supernatural” narrative tropes (if you will) getting out of their plot problems, gambled some more and thought a bit more outside genre conventions *especially* in their main arcs, they opened up so many opportunities that they never even used. They could’ve been more like Buffy, or Doctor Who. That said, I’ll always get that spn-itch, and when I do, I’ll be happy to have seen all the episodes so I’ll know which ones to avoid.

[yououghtaknow]

so i filled in this chart (made by @fingersmithbysarahwaters​ <3) on my twitter dot com account (@/genderhead if you want to see me post more Casual stuff). i am now going to explain it in depth because i am autistic and my special interest is my own show. 

NOTE: the way i did this chart was that the "coded" column is who people see you as and the "girl" column is who you are. also i am not an expert in riverdale analysis, i simply know what i’ve heard my very smart friends talking about.

ARCHIE GIRLS

ARCHIE CODED

sandy my best friend sandy….. she is just such an archie in her core. cause archie is the Heart of the town, he’s the Heart of the friend group, and that is very sandy. on the surface, they’re very similar - both being very athletic people, both just really wanting to be liked by everyone, both being kind of lost at the beginning and in a manipulative relationship. but, at the end of the day, archie’s all about being there for the people he loves, and even though he’s spent a lot of time hating himself for his mistakes, he grows and moves on, much like sandy. also they’re both not that good at dancing but will still be in the school musicals to support their friends.

JUGHEAD CODED

jacob love……. he an archie girl at his core because he just wants to protect the people he loves. he is genuinely torn between music and football, and has to deal with knowing people have done bad things and that he can’t do anything about it. he may go about it the wrong way sometimes, but he’s just trying to do what’s best for his friends and himself, which makes him a bit more jughead coded. he’s very much trying to be perceived as a season 1 esque jughead in the fact that he knows he’s different in a deep inherent way and has a hard time articulating it for a while. he also has the trauma of abandonment from both of his parents and runs away to protect himself at one point.

BETTY CODED

ms eleanor early…. i needed to include some not so main characters to fill up the chart, and ellie’s character has always been quite interesting to me, because the roles that sonja and emma play in og skam are very typical of a gay drama, and combining them into one character i think makes her a lot more interesting. ellie is trying to be perceived as a season 1 betty, she has the blonde hair, the perfect upper middle class family, she has a crush on the perfect jock guy, but…. that isn’t really who she is. she’s a fierce protector of what she believes to be the truth and is always ready to stand up for herself and her friends. she thinks she’s a betty coded veronica girl but she is not. also ellie would absolutely name a band after herself.

VERONICA CODED

my best friend james cohen…… james is a very obvious archie girl. he’s very much the heart of his friend group, he literally almost went to jail trying to protect nick. he loves his found family so so dearly and he’s a nice boy who plays a guitar. but when we get into his veronica coding….. veronica is just such an interesting character to me (more on that later) but the way james relates to her. veronica is all about getting validation from her dad and male figures, whereas james is trying to get validation from his mum and female figures in his life. he also openly struggles with alcohol abuse and is very good at giving some one liners. he’s also kind of a mean girl in the first few seasons??? like he’s seen as that way from the pov character. also i believe that, if given the opportunity, james would open a speakeasy/casino underneath a local diner.

JUGHEAD GIRLS

ARCHIE CODED

i am about to interpret characters so wrong. so bryan is what people who don’t view riverdale through the correct lgbt lense think an archie coded jughead girl is like. he’s a jock, he’s been with a lot of girls, he’s kind of stupid (his archie coding) and he’s a bad boy™ who struggles with money problems and is in love with the perfect good girl (who is also a lesbian). he’s just the worst. i hate him.

JUGHEAD CODED

oh <3 would you look at that <3 it’s me <3 isaac yououghtaknowmp3/genderhead <3. i couldn’t think of another random character to included so i just did myself. i am jughead coded in the fact that i am weird i’m a weirdo i don’t “fit in” and i don’t want to fit in. i have always known there is something inherently Other about me and i haven’t tried to hide it ever. i also am a writer and use my writing as a way to process my real life trauma and things going on around me. also the scene where jughead burns down his childhood home and then sings seventeen (reprise) from heathers does affect me on a deep and personal level. i am a bit betty coded in the fact that i Am very much like that. 

BETTY CODED

annabell!!!! i love them so so much, they are so fun to me. they’re very much later seasons betty coded, in that fact that i fully believe they have the serial killer genes. they know what they’re good at and they do it well, and they are trying to be seen as a serpent queen type figure, but…. at the end of the day, they do just use sardonic humour to relate to the world. they are covering up their mental illness with strange little jokes and enjoy making bitchy little comment in such a fun way. also they’re a nonbinary lesbian which i think is a very bettycoded jugheadgirl thing to do.

VERONICA CODED

nick my best friend nick!!!!! nick is very veronica coded in the daddy issues way. we see them have issues connecting to their dad and they try to find that bond with other male companions…… he also deals with some substance abuse problems and is very dramatic and uses a lot of pop culture references to cover up their actual issues. but, deep down in his heart, nick is a jughead because he cares deeply about the people around him, even though he has trouble showing it. also he is in love with james in a very similar way to how jughead is in love with archie. also i feel like all of their younger brothers can and will kin jellybean.

BETTY GIRLS

ARCHIE CODED

esther my bestie!!!!!!!! esther is trying so hard to be seen as an archie like figure. she wants to be the centre of the friend group, she wants to be in charge and know what’s going on at all times. she just really wants to be liked all of the time, but that is what makes her such a betty girl. she’s very perfection orientated, and she’s also very ambitious and clever in a betty way. betty’s whole relationship with donna sweett just has esther vibes. also the wig in a box scene in the hedwig episode where betty is trying to make everyone feel better??? very esther core.

JUGHEAD CODED

alistair. thomas. fletcher. god this boy is very jughead coded. from the first moment we see him, he’s Weird. he’s very season 1 jughead in the fact that he’s a gay little outsider trying to stay a gay little outsider but his curiosity gets him dragged into the main plot. also al tries to see the world through the lens of fiction, much like jughead. but at the end of the day, he is a betty. he is very intellectually smart and we see him struggle a lot with perfectionism over what we’ve seen so far. also he’s good at snarking with his siblings and he has fully psychoanalysed people at musical rehearsal for no reason other than to have fun. He’s also a betty for reasons i can’t get into on this night due to Spoilers but you’ll know it when the time comes.

BETTY CODED

rori!!!!!!!!!! rori is such such such a betty in every way. the pastel colours are very her. betty’s relationship with denying her mental illness is very her in the early season. even the betty/archie relationship is quite reminiscent of rori and james’s relationship (i mean this in a gay way not a barchie way). also the way people interpret betty and her sexuality reminds me a lot of rori, the whole performance of femininity riverdale betty specifically does…. also rori is very much a main character type of person and betty is thee main character of riverdale. also betty spending so much of the musical episodes with veronica is a very rori move.

VERONICA CODED

milo woods!!!!! my fave girlboss!!!! they’re very veronica coded in the fact that they are the cool, cultured, popular new kid in town with fancy style. also they are very “you’re gay? thank god, let’s be friends”. but they are very much a betty girl with their insecurities and their girlboss ways being a lot more subtle. like milo shows up out of nowhere like veronica, but psychoanalyses and romances the local lgbt community by being mean to them in a sincere and fun way. also the whole “i’m the daughter of the black hood” speech has milo energy.

VERONICA GIRLS

ARCHIE CODED

sophie!!!!! sophie is archie coded in the fact that she is just so cool and well liked and sporty and hot. like sophie’s whole introduction is like the “whoa! archie got hot!” scene only sandy has always thought she was hot. but sophie is such a veronica at the end of the day. like she is a hashtag girlboss in the sense that she’s the captain of the football team, she’s smart, she’s put together. but also she has a past where she’s been betrayed and assaulted and abused and she’s just trying to keep it all together at the end of the day. sophie kennedy i love you

JUGHEAD CODED

theo alterman. god he is weird, he is a weirdo. he wears dark clothes, he’s deeply sarcastic, but he’s always there for his friends in his own special way. also i feel like theo would fake his own death. he’s also canonically hyperfixated on dungeons and dragons which is an epic jughead moment. but he is very much a veronica girl in the fact that he is so bitchy and fun to his friends but is always there for them and trying to be a good friend. like he messes up a lot but he earnestly trying his best to empathise with his friends and be cool and good. he just wants to fit in so much but also the world according to chris is a very theo song

BETTY CODED

liz my friend elizabeth!!!! she is very betty coded. i mean, both of their names are elizabeth. they’re both blonde, they both deal with overbearing mothers, shitty fathers and high expectations. they both struggle with mental illness in a very repressed way and also liz is very intellectual. but she is such a veronica. liz is seeking out validation constantly and is willing to change who she is just to get people to like her. she’s also very desperate for friends and will always try her best to keep them. also liz says some absolutely wild lines in a fun veronica way. liz would say i recognise those abs anywhere about james.

VERONICA CODED

finally my best friend in the whole wide world brianna holland. oh bree. my love my light. they are just such a veronica girl. veronica’s relationship with femininity and sexuality is very similar to bree’s, with equating sex to both power and validation. in a way, bree is also seeking out her father in the men she’s had relations with in the past, but we see her grow from that and move on to a girl (like veronica should also do). also bree is just such a girlboss i love them so much. also they both have a secret sibling which gets a very dramatic reveal. it’s so intensely fun. also it’s about the reputation by taylor swift.

thank you for reading, stan riverdale, stan skam brighton, and please know that i wrote this instead of doing my final piece of coursework <3

[velveteencurtains]

folklore first impressions!

the 1 — don’t hate me for this but. HAYLOR RIGHTS. anyway so so fucking CUTE i’m gonna cry. “the greatest loves are over now” WAHHH IM GONNA CRY

cardigan — taylor if i ever meet you i’m getting you to write “stars around my scars” for a tattoo. watched the music video before i listened to the full album and i’m so glad i did. cinematic masterpiece. this song is so fucking good you guys holy shit. just the sentiment of the lyric “when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite”. anyway YOU DREW STARS AROUND MY SCARS BUT NOW I’M BLEEDING. guys. TYE PETER PAN REFERENCE IM. WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG THEY ASSUME YOU KNOW NOTHINNG GNGNGNNG.

the last great american dynasty — WHO IS REBEKAH. these lyrics are so good holy shit. DID SHE JUST USE GAUCHE IN THIS SONG????? the layered harmonies on the chorus oh my god. “THERE GOES THE MADDEST WOMAN THIS TOWN HAS EVER SEEN” okay i havent listened to mad woman yet but if this is a parallel i’ll die. DID SHE JUST SAY BITCH??? i’m putting “she had a marvelous time ruining everything” on my gravestone. taylor please give us a music video. please. please. STOP HER VOCALS ON “I HAD A MARVELOUS TIME RUINING EVERYTHING”

exile — okay confession time i’ve never heard a bon iver song before and i thought he was a woman so his voice actually scared me. “you’re not my homeland anymore, so what am i defending now?” REAL SHIT???????? wait wait WAIT “I hit the Sunday matinée/You know the greatest films of all time were never made” and “I think I’ve seen this film before” IS THAT A PARALLEL???? the duet section “you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs” Taylor I’m crying and it’s your fault. NOT “we always walked a very thin line” THE PARALLEL TO HAUNTED I’M CRYINGG

my tears ricochet — okay I already posted about how this is gonna kill me the title the fact it’s track 5 the fact it’s self written i’m ready. HER VOCALS AT THE BEGINNING. “IF I’M ON FIRE YOU’LL BE MADE OF ASHES TOO” REAL FUCKING SHIT TAYLOR???????? “IF I’M DEAD TO YOU WHY ARE YOU AT THE WAKE” IM CONVULSING MY HEART IS LITERALLY RACING ARE YOU SHITTING ME “YOU KNOW I DIDNT WANT TO HAVE TO HAUNT YOU, BUT WHAT A GHOSTLY SCENE” the way i’m literally losing my mind right now. this is the best song i’ve ever heard. real shit. real fucking shit. “and I can go anywhere I want, just not home” IM FUCKING FERAL TAYLOR. THE VOCALS IN THE BRIDGEEEEEEE. this is her best track 5 I dont care. “Written by: Taylor Swift” THE POWER THAT HOLDS

mirrorball — when i first saw this name i thought of the fushigi not gonna lie. NOT THE ECHOEY VOCALS PLEASE. “i can change everything about me just to fit in” oh wow. oh wow oh wow oh wow oh wow oh wow. i’m crying right now. someone much more eloquent than i will write a thinkpiece about this and put it excellently but the notion of never showing your true self ‪and constantly changing to fit in and being a reflection of what other people want you to be....no i’m not okay‬

seven — oh shit we get right into this whatttttt okay. the vocals, I’ve already said i’m dead like 100 times in this but who cares i’m DEAD. no one is gonna get this but this song reminds me of spring awakening the musical. like seriously this is ilse singing to moritz. if you don’t know what that means go listen to the musical and then you will. the outro is so gorgeous oh my god

august — am i stupid or does this song remind me of danny and sandy from grease. like this is from sandy’s perspective. ignore me i will make connections to musical theatre even if it isn’t there. SO MUCH FOR SUMMER LOVE BABEYYYYY. HER VOCALS ON “YOU WERENT MINE TO LOSE” ARE YOU JOKING???? for the hope of it all. this is fifteen’s older sister don’t @ me. STOP WHEN IT GETS QUIET AND THEN THE MUSIC COMES BACK YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT MY EYES JUST BULGED OUT OF MY HEAD. yeah okay I’ll talk a lot about her lyricism in this but this song really made me wanna appreciate the instrumentals?? holy shit they’re so good. insanely good. what the hell taylor. oh my god

this is me trying — once again a round of applause to the instrumentals this intro is sick!! this feels like the last time’s optimistic sister. i hate it when people say that but like...it’s true. “so i got wasted, like all my potential” oh my GODDDDDDD. the vocals on “at least i’m trying” exCUSE ME?? okay going back to the grease thing this is danny’s perspective. period. jack antonoff and taylor swift is a duo that will go down in history.

illicit affairs — i have no words. no words. my favorite song on the album. holy shit. holy SHIT

invisible string — what’s so interesting about these songs is that they’re so intricate and complex and tell their own little stories that i barely wanna do this bc i don’t wanna focus on anything else than listening to the lyrics and making little music videos in my head. taylor has always been amazing at storytelling but this is next level. “a string that pulled me out of the wrong arms into that dive bar” with “dive bar on the east side where you at?” And “one single thread of gold tied me to you” with “deep blue, but you painted me golden”. wow. WOW. her little vocalizations at the end. i love her. so much

mad woman — THE SONG I WAS MOST EXCITED ABOUT WHEN I SAW THE TRACKLIST. DID SHE JUST SAW FUCK TAYLOR JUST SAID FUCK. taylor please give us a music video set in witch trial salem PLEASEEEE I HAVE ONE (1) REQUEST. “it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together” IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII my heart is pounding so hard right now. what a TUNE WHAT A TUNE TAYLOR SWIFT DID THAT

epiphany — she sounds like an angel. yes i’m crying. is it stupid to say this makes me think of like a medic on the frontlines dealing with the traumas of war? probably. this is so gorgeous. the drums at the end that feel like a heartbeat. wow. wow. wow.

betty — TAYLOR SAID FUCK AGAIN i need to stop she’s a grown woman i can’t freak out when she curses. taylor make a music video for this but make the love interests two girls pls. nevermind just heard the james lyric. the key change?????? yeah i showed up at your party!!!!! will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?? STANDING IN YOUR CARDIGAN. william bowery whoever you may be (👀👀👀) thank you for this and god bless taylor swift

peace — so simple. so beautiful. yes i’m still crying. i love this song so much. wowowow

hoax — yeah the latter half of the album is just pure tears for me. “don’t want no other shade of blue but you?” Jesus Christ. Oh my god. “you knew the hero died, so what’s the movie for?” wow. wow. thank you Taylor. i love you so much

overall: yeah judging by the tears down my face it’s pretty aight. kidding this is a full blown masterpiece. literally album of the year. decade. millenium. my only critique is that there isn’t music videos for every song. everything is so intricate and poetic yet the entire album is so sonically cohesive and fluid i’m literally in awe. illicit affairs left me SPEECHLESS. holy fuck. i need a minute.

[margoshansons]

The Killing Kind (17/17)

Part Seventeen. 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 

MASTERLIST

Final word count: 24.8k

Summary: The kids escape from the trip of hell and finally find some peace back home.

Warnings: Anger issues. Threats.

Notes: Man so this is it. This is the end and final chapter of this amazing series. Thank you all so much for commenting and liking and reblogging. Please remember that while she and Peter are the main ship, this is Y/N’s story. Without further ado, here is the final chapter of the Killing Kind. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Y/N ignored her limp wrist as she made her way to the hotel Mr. Harrington had decided to book last second. She didn’t want to think about how her mother might not be human. She didn’t want to think about her dad locked up in a high profile prison, legally dead to the rest of the world. She didn’t want to think about the fact that the board at her dad’s failing company needed her as the next CEO. 

She just wanted to collapse onto a fluffy bed and sleep off the pain that spun through her body. 

“Thank god you’re alright!” MJ’s body crashed into hers, the extra momentum sending her spinning. Y/N pulled away, meeting her friend’s red eyes. “I was so worried I would never see you again.”

Y/N stood there, staring at MJ. She was alive. She was here. She was safe. She was real. Y/N pulled her back in for a hug, tears escaping involuntarily.

“Oh my god you’re real” She whispered, voice breaking. “You’re here and you’re real and you’re safe.”

MJ sighed, a smile crawling across her face in relief. “I was worried you would leave me alone with that sweaty guy forever.”

The pair chuckled, pulling away to share a wide smile, tears mirroring each other on both girl’s cheeks. 

“Told you I’d be back” Y/N joked, laughter exploding from her chest. Ned gave her a small pat on her shoulder, reassurance. But she didn’t see the person she was worried about most. “Where’s Peter?”

Ned piped up with the answer, “He’s in his room. May called him, wanted to make sure he was okay after everything.”

Y/N nodded, making her way up the stairs. 

“Y/N wait!” MJ called, racing up after her. “I uh, I wanted to say that uh,”

Y/N smirked at her attempt to be more vulnerable. 

“I’m really grateful to have you as a friend,” MJ said, before turning to head toward her room, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks.

Y/N let out a breath, and she knocked on Peter’s door. The beaten-up boy stood there, phone in hand, EDITH on his face. 

“Hey” He breathed.

“Hey” Y/N replied. “Can I come in?” Peter nodded his head, stuttering out an invitation, hastily tidying up what little belongings he had left after the explosion. They stood there, hormones raging as the two tried to figure out their feelings internally. 

They had kissed on the plane.

He had given her a necklace. But what did it mean?

“Peter–” She was cut off with a quick kiss. Soft and awkward.

“That uh, that necklace means what you think it means,” Peter confessed bashfully. 

She fingered the small charm, placing a kiss near the corner of his mouth before wrapping her arms around him. They stayed that way the rest of the night, snuggling together on the bed, their shared trauma keeping them both awake, but the comfort of their embrace allowing them to fall asleep.

***

The plane ride back was going to be long if the way Betty and Flash were staring at her was any indication. She didn’t plan on accidentally revealing her powers to the two, but she seriously had no idea that they were going to be there with MJ and Ned.

“Everything okay?” Peter’s voice asked. 

Y/N stared at her now-boyfriend, grabbing his hand in earnest, plastering a smile on her face. Pretending like her dad wasn’t still alive. Pretending that SHIELD hadn’t just confirmed that everything her father had said was true after testing her DNA for any traces of Aliens. 

They couldn’t even pinpoint where she was from. Just that her energy signature matched Thor’s. 

“Yeah,” She lied, “Everything’s fine.”

She leaned into Peter’s shoulder, her eye-catching MJ shuffling in next to Mr. Harrington and the other chaperone who had been converted to witchcraft over the course of the trip. 

“I uh, I have to do something,” Y/N told Peter, who saw where her eyes were. 

“Go ahead,” Peter encouraged, “I’ll uh, I’ll take one for the team.”

Y/N smiled widely, pecking Peter’s cheek while she approached Mr. Harrington.

“Um, Mr. Harrington?” She nervously caught her teacher’s attention. 

“Y/N!” He replied, “Is everything okay?”

She shared an apologetic look with Peter. “Actually no, I think Peter’s perfume allergies are acting up around me and I was wondering if I could sit next to MJ”

“Say no more” Harrington stood up immediately, taking Y/N’s former seat, allowing the girl to sit next to her best friend.

“Trouble in paradise?” MJ asked, pulling her earbuds out. 

Y/N smirked, “Actually, I just can’t stand him. Needed an excuse to get out of there” She joked, grateful this trip hadn’t ruined the one relationship that mattered to her.

MJ chuckled at the sarcastic humor, offering her dual port to the girl as a peace offering. Y/N took it.

“So which true-crime documentary do you wanna watch today?” MJ asked, scrolling through the movie options.”We got Gacey, Lizzie Borden, Ted Bundy,”

“Oh Bundy for sure” Y/N replied, leaning into the taller girl’s shoulder. “His whole case just proves why assholes shouldn’t be allowed in our legal system.”

MJ clicked on the movie and the two girls snuggled in as the plane took off. 

“Hey” MJ nudged her friend’s shoulder, Y/N perked up.”Do you think Peter would be able to give me a ride one of these days?”

Y/N shoved her best friend’s shoulder playfully, the two giggling as they made their way home.

Mid Credits

“Hey MJ!” Peter called, meeting the girl in her neighborhood. “Y/N told me you wanted a ride?” They swung from the highest buildings in New York, MJ’s screams as she free fell ringing through the atmosphere, Peter almost sure that THor could hear her back on Asgard.

They landed in Times Square, MJ’s hair frazzled and her eyes wide in fear. 

“Yeah, that settles it” She announced, “I am never doing that again.”

Peter chuckled involuntarily at the blushing teen, her hair wild and frizzy like Y/N’s got every time they went for a swing.

“Where is Y/N?” MJ asked, “I thought she was meeting us here for coffee”

Peter rubbed the back of his neck at the question. “She’s uh, she’s dealing with her dad’s stuff.”

The relationship between the two of them was still a bit of a sore spot between Y/N and Peter, especially since Mysterio tried to kill him only a few days ago. It helped that his girlfriend felt the same way he did about Mysterio, but the relation was still there. She still had to go to the funeral. She was still a part of that fucked up family.

His reverie was broken by the screen lighting up behind him. He turned around to see Quentin Beck’s face.

“I managed to send the elemental back through the dimensional rift but I don’t think I’ll get off this bridge alive” Beck rambled, “Spiderman attacked me for some reason, he–he has an army of weaponized drones, Stark Technology”

Peter shared a look with MJ, wishing Y/N was here instead to soothe his rising nerves.

“He’s saying he’s the one who’s going to be the next Iron Man, no one else” Beck continued, before the video cut to a clearly altered video snippet.

“Are you sure you want to commence the drone attack?” EDITH”s clean voice came in over the speakers, “There will be significant casualties”

“Do It” Peter’s own voice startled him. “Execute them all”

No, no, no, no, no. That was taken out of context. All of it was!

“There you have it folks” J Jonah Jameson spat, “Undeniable proof that Spiderman was responsible for the brutal murder of Mysterio. An interdimensional warrior sent to protect our planet along with his daughter, who has now become an orphan thanks to this menace.”

Peter shook his head. Please let Y/N refute this, let her take care of this. 

“But that’s not all folks, brace yourselves you may want to sit down.”

Peter watched as Mysterio released the most valuable information of Peter’s. He watched as Mysterio tore his life apart with six words.

“Spiderman’s real name is Peter Parker!”

His picture was posted all across the square, everyone knew who he was. Everyone.

“We have an exclusive interview with Y/N Beck aka Stasis commenting on her father’s death and her relation to the masked menace.” Jameson continued.

Peter watched as Y/N stood behind a podium, lawyers on her left, publicist on her right. Her black mourning dress was covered by a green velvet jacket, but when Peter squinted, he saw the sunflower adorning her neck and he knew that she was on his side.

“My father loved creating illusions” Y/N admitted, addressing the crowds of reporters. “He loved them so much he somehow managed to create the biggest one after his death. Spiderman did not kill my father, in fact, he is the only reason I lived through that traumatic experience. My father’s death was caused by his own carelessness, and while I want someone to blame more than anyone, Spiderman is not that person. My father’s last words were about how people want to believe. So let’s believe. This child is not a menace, nor is he the hero you assume he is. Spiderman has saved our lives countless times, let’s believe in him rather than videos that can be easily doctored, thank you”

As she left reporters began to hound her once again, her publicist shooing them away while Peter watched his life and his girlfriend’s life fall apart.

Post Credits

The prison stank of sweat and testosterone but that didn’t deter Quentin as he was escorted from his solitary cell to the visiting room. His orange jumpsuit was hideous and hardly comfortable, but he could ignore all of that. 

After six months, he was finally going to see his daughter again.

She looked older. Like somehow she had aged several years in his absence. Maybe she was miserable without her dad. Maybe she was here to help him with his case. Maybe she was here to bail him out. 

Her sunken eyes hardened at the sight of him, his smile never leaving his face as he gazed upon the girl that was his light, his life, the only reason he never went mad in this dull excuse for a secure prison.

“New Jacket?” Quentin asked pointing toward the teal that enwrapped her shoulders. 

‘I know what you did Dad” was all Y/N said in response. “I know what you did to Peter”

Quentin went silent at the boy’s name. 

He deserved it. He had ruined everything. He deserved to have his life torn apart like Quentin’s was.

“It’s not just his life that has been ruined” Y/N urged, eyebrows creasing, “I have reporters daily knocking on our doors, asking all about you and Spiderman.”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen honey” Quentin leaned forward to grab her hand. She ripped it out again.

“Don’t call me that” Y/N spat. “You’ve interfered in my life long enough. Leave my friends alone or I will come in here and kill you myself.”

He scoffed. “You don’t have it in you. You said it yourself, You’ll never be like me. You can’t kill me”

His throat constricted, the blue energy surrounding his neck, squeezing his breath from his lungs.

“You forget,” Y/N threatened, anger lacing her eyes, “I inherited your temper. And we’re surrounded by SHIELD agents who wouldn’t care if I stole every last breath from you. So leave my friends alone, because love is like any other emotion daddy,” She taunted.

 “It. Fades.”

He regained his air back, breathing returning to his lungs like a drug addict to heroin. 

“Do we have an understanding?” Something dark swirled in the eyes of the girl he had raised. Something he had created. 

He nodded, the guards escorting him back to his cell, a new cellmate waiting for him.

“Hey, buddy” The grey-haired man offered his hand, “Adrian Toomes, nice to meet you.”

***

Y/N scanned the papers scattered across the table in her father’s old apartment. She officially got it in the ‘will’. It was hers now. Paid for and a home she can build for herself instead of the old musty church she had found months ago. 

She and her lawyers were currently working with Stark Industries to buildup her father’s company once again. It was all her idea. A great publicity stunt to show how much her father had respected the late hero, regardless of their rocky past. Unfortunately, that included hiring her as CEO, as well as repairing the shitshow that was their relationship with Spiderman.

Her chest constricted when she thought of Peter. Forced into hiding. Unable to even go to school. The last she had heard from him he was somewhere in Africa. Happy assured her that he was safe. But she would be lying if she said she didn’t miss him and Aunt May. 

She really only had MJ and Ned now. And while Flash was treating her better, she really only wanted Peter with her. 

The wind fluttered behind her and she sighed, upset at MJ for leaving the window open again. As she turned around her eyes met green.

A slender woman stood in her living room, dressed head to toe in a green dress that looked like it belonged at a gala instead of a run-down apartment in New York City. 

“Who the hell are you?” Y/N asked, crossing her arms in an attempt to look intimidating.

“The names Lorelei sweetpea” The woman’s silky voice uttered, taking in every bit of the teen before her. “But you can call me Mum.”

AHHHH! That’s it! Thank you all so much for your kind comments and follows and likes and reblogs. This was my first time trying something like this and I loved it! I hoped you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

Special thanks to:

@petersblake @editsbyjenny @kaylinfayezink @leilei-draws and @santa-feigh for being there since the beginning and commenting on almost every single post, reblogging always, and recommending me.

And a very special thanks to:

@thatsuperherosidekick for always liking my posts and never failing to enter my ask box and freak out with me about this story and everything about it.

For everyone who commented, liked, reblogged, or recommended, thank you so much and for everyone tagged, thank you. You guys kept me writing this and I’m so grateful to all of you. Hugs and kisses.

TAG LIST: CLOSED

@21bruhs @maiabiovillage @spidey-holland7 @petersblake @queen-destenie @thewinchesterchronicles @filthydeatheaters

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My next series will be a Steve Harrington x reader, but that won’t be out for a little while. If you want to be tagged in that, or if you want to request more Marvel imagines, please send me an ask or let me know! Once again, thank you all so much for your support. I couldn’t have done this without you guys.

[favefandomimagines]

Love and Loss (p.p.)

A/N: this was inspired by the FFH trailer AND i don’t know why Tony isn’t in the movie, but this is just my theory of what could have happened post Endgame, if this is supposed to take place after Endgame/Infinity War. 

I HAVEN’T SEEN ENDGAME YET THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION BUT MAYBE SPOILER WARNING??? 

Summary: the death of your father caused you to leave New York and leave the only person you have left behind. 

Peter was packing for his class trip to Europe and he couldn’t have been more excited. Aunt May was leaning against his door frame going over the things he needed to bring.

They went over the basics until May saw a framed picture of you and Peter on his bookshelf. She knew he missed you and that your letters and texts weren’t enough. But she couldn’t blame you. You lost someone you loved more than anyone and that tends to take a toll.

“Did you want to take this?” May asked picking it up.

Peter turned his head and stared at the photo. It was before everything in your lives went to hell. Before your father died, specifically. “No. She’s in Europe anyways, maybe I’ll run into her.” He answered with a sad laugh.

“Pete, you know she didn’t leave because she didn’t love you. She left because it was too hard for her to stay in New York. Everything reminded her of him.” May told him. “I know.” He said quietly. “Plus, she writes when she can.” She added.

Peter nodded his head but continued to pack. He glanced over at the stack of letters sitting in his desk. The two of you had shared a total of 100 letters and not a single one mentioned your father. It’s almost as if you didn’t talk about it, it didn’t make it real. Peter knew that wasn’t healthy for you but he was going to let you do whatever you needed to do to cope.

He missed you. More than he thought possible. But he was holding out hope that he’d see you again.

**

Peter’s first stop was Venice and he was full of excitement. The last time he was out of the country wasn’t under the best circumstances, fighting Captain America and all. But he only wished he could share the experience with you.

Though you being Tony Stark’s daughter, you had tons of opportunities to go to exotic places.

You were also in Venice, having made arrangements to meet up with your high school so you could join the trip. Pepper and you thought it was best to try to establish some normalcy after everything happened. And by Pepper and you, it was mostly Pepper’s idea. 

She knew you sitting in your room for days on end wasn’t good for you.

It wasn’t the first time you’ve been to Venice so you were walking around the city, looking for your former teacher and your peers. But you didn’t know how you were going to go about seeing Peter for the first time in months. 

You hoped he didn’t hate you for leaving and that he understood. He said he did when you told him you were leaving. In the moment, you just wanted to hide in your room for the rest of your life because the one person you loved more than anyone and who raised you, died saving the one other person you cared about. 

It wasn’t a secret to your classmates that’s why you weren’t in school after that. Everyone knew that your dad dying had a really big impact on you. 

As you were walking, you saw the group of students up ahead. “Well, it’s now or never.” You muttered as you walked up to them. At first, you stayed in the back, hoping no one would notice you. But your plan kind of backfired when you made eye contact with your teacher. 

“And, we’re adding a last minute addition to our trip group. Y/N Stark.” He announced gesturing to you and all heads snapped in your direction. You gave them a small smile and an awkward wave. “Okay, you get two hours of free time but stay near the hotel.” The teacher said. 

When Peter saw you, it was like he froze in his spot. “Y-Y/N?” He questioned. You swallowed the lump in your throat and took a few small steps towards him. Before you could even get a word out, MJ called out to Peter. “Peter, let’s go we’re gonna be late!” She called. 

‘Late for what?’ You asked yourself. “Uh, I think there’s something else I need to do.” You said, speaking to him for the first time in months. “Wait, Y/N.” Peter started. “No it’s fine. I came here to talk to you and to reconcile but you’re clearly busy with MJ. I’ll just see you later.” You rebutted stepping back from him and leaving him to stand there. 

Peter groaned before he realized he had to decide who he was going to go after. MJ; someone he was relying on after you left. Or you; the girl he was in love with and just wanted to be with again. But he new where he needed to be. 

He took off down the street after you, coming up with what he was going to say to you. 

“Y/N, wait!” He called once he was closer to you. You stopped walking and slowly turned around to face him. 

Even after all you’ve been through, you weren’t one to cry. You didn’t like to show emotion but you couldn’t help but cry when you thought Peter was moving on with MJ. His heart broke when he saw the tears on your cheeks, never seeing you cry before.

He walked closer to you, this time you let him. “I have lost everything. I lost Steve, I lost my mom,” You paused, trying to control yourself but this was the first time you’ve talked about your father’s death out loud. “I lost my dad. And I can’t lose you too.” You cried. “Hey, hey. You won’t lose me.” Peter said placing a hand on your cheek. 

“But what about you and MJ?” You questioned. “There’s nothing going on with MJ and I. When you left, I needed someone to talk to about you and she offered to help. Y/N, I love you. And only you.” He answered. 

You looked at him with tears in your eyes and he wiped the tears off your cheeks with his thumb. “I can’t lose anymore people.” You muttered. “You couldn’t lose me even if you tried.” Peter said with a small laugh. “I did though. You didn’t come back and you were gone for so long, I didn’t know what to do.” You said, your voice small. 

“Hey, look at me.” Peter said, his hand settling on your cheek. You looked up at him before he continued to speak. “That’s not gonna happen again. You won’t lose me again.” Peter assured you. 

You nodded your head before Peter leaned his head down and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. After a few seconds, the two of you parted and you wiped the tears off your face. 

“God, I don’t cry.” You muttered. Peter chuckled lightly as his hands fell into yours. “How have you been since, you know?” He asked. “Some days are better than others. The other day was the hardest because I found an old picture of us and it just made me realize how much I miss him.” You told him. “I miss him too. Who’s going to tell me to stay out of things?” Peter joked, making you smile. 

“That’s my job now.” You said with a small smile. “I missed you.” He blurted out. “I missed you too.” You replied. “100 letters just wasn’t enough.” He said. “I know and I’m sorry. I just needed time to clear my head and try to see what a life without my dad was like.” You said to him. “I know, Y/N and I understand. You needed time to heal and sometimes the best way to do that is to be alone.” Peter said. 

You smiled up at him as you two walked back down the street and you saw Ned and Betty together. “When did that happen?” You asked Peter. “Oh a few months ago, actually.” He answered. 

Ned and Betty soon joined you and greeted you. Giving you the usual ‘I’m sorry about your dad’ speech. MJ stood off to the side, just happy that you were back and that Peter was happy again. 

Betty and MJ soon wandered off, leaving you, Peter and Ned to reminisce. Only Ned knowing that Peter was Spider-Man, you two had filled him in on everything. 

As you were talking with your friends, your phone beeped with a text from Pepper. 

‘I just found this from when he was in space. I think you want to listen to this. xx’ 

You furrowed your eyebrows and Peter noticed. “What is it?” He asked. “Um, Pepper sent me a voice recording from when my dad was in space.” You answered. The table went silent as your thumb hovered over the attachment. 

“Listen to it. We’ll be right here.” Ned interjected. You looked up at him and gave him a sad smile before taking a deep breath and tapping the attachment. 

“Hey, kiddo. I know that you’re probably really confused and I’ll explain it all when I get back. I just, I thought I could pull off one last surprise, but I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry I couldn’t save Peter. He told me to tell you he’s sorry. Sorry that he didn’t come back. I guess I couldn’t save a lot of people. And I’m just hoping that you weren’t one of the ones to disappear because you’re my little girl and I’m supposed to protect you. Uh, anyways, don’t be the hero while I’m gone. You tend to do that and then get yourself into trouble. 

“And Pepper is going to kill me when she finds out I did this but I’m leaving the Avengers facility to you, if anything happens to me. It’s been in the works for a while. But, I can’t think of a better person than my daughter to continue on with Earth’s mightiest heroes,” He started, a strained laugh ringing through your ears.

“Anyways, hopefully I’ll be back soon and we will get Peter back for you. I know how much you love him and he loves you. I love you too, kiddo.” The recording stopped and your hands were shaking as you set the phone down. 

Peter could tell you were trying your best to keep it together, so was he. Tony was like a father figure to him and he missed him a lot. 

“Did you know he was going to do that?” Peter asked you. You shook your head, afraid that if you spoke you would cry. “He loved you a lot, Y/N. You have to know that. And just because he’s not here physically doesn’t mean he’s not still with you.” He added. 

You smiled softly before lifting your head up. “Did May tell you that?” You asked. “Yeah, yeah she did. After my parents and after Ben.” Peter answered. 

“It’s going to be okay, right? I’ll be able to get past this?” You asked, both Ned and Peter. “If anyone can, it’s you.” Ned said. You smiled at him gratefully as Peter gave your hand a gentle squeeze. 

You took a few deep breaths as you nodded your head. “You’re right. It’s going to take time, but I can do this.” You said. Peter and Ned were happy to hear that, as it was time to go back to the hotel. 

When you and Peter got up, you stopped him and he turned around to face you. “I love you.” You said to him. “I love you too.” He replied before kissing you softly. 

[writing-appreciation]

Drama in Drama

Synopsis: Just two theatre nerds best friends... who also have to kiss.

Word count: 1879

Wanrings: Nothing really. Just a sappy drama nerd stuff.

I smiled triumphantly as I looked at the posted cast list. Freshman year it was Aunt March in 'Little Women.' This year it will be Kim in 'Check Please and Check Please Take 2.'

It's not surprising that I made the cast. I may be shy and timid in class, but on stage is where I shine. It also helped that I was in the actual Drama class and was basically the director's TA. Seeing Peter's name on the list was certainly shocking though. He was definitely an appreciator of the dramatic arts (as evident from our multiple broadway trips. Courtesy of Tony Stark), but he didn't seem like an actual preformer.

I pulled out my phone and shot him a text.

"Thanks for telling me you auditioned. Congrats btw, Hank."

A few seconds later he replied,

"I thought it'd be a nice surprise. We don't really get to hang out anymore."

"How do you even plan to do this AND be Mr. Spiderman?"

It was an honest question. He was pretty much always busy since he became Queen's favourite crime fighting spider.

No response. Looks like he didn't know either.

We went through the school day as normal, but we were called out of class for about 15 minutes to discuss the practice schedule. Tonight we would have a simple read through right after school.

We all sat in the comfortable auditorium seats. I smiled at my usual friends and introduced myself to newcomers.

"Sorry, I'm late!" A breathy excuse fell over the room.

We all looked to the doors to see Peter walking in looking disheveled.

I waved him over to me and explained that our director wasn't even there yet. He immediately looked relieved.

As if fate willed it so, the director walked in right after I said that to him.

"Hello, sorry I'm late, but I trust you all were entertained." He said as he walked in and stood in front of the group.

"First things first, I don't actually have scripts for all of us, so some script sharing will have to be done. Betty, Flash you two have the most lines so you'll get personal scripts. (Y/n) and Peter, you guys will be sharing…" he continued to explain, but I didn't really have a need to listen at this point.

Our director invited us on the stage and we all sat in a semicircle. Peter and I sat by one another as we had one script. He was the main guy's best friend. And I was the main girl's best friend. We had a section at the opening of the play, but not anything after until the second Act. We both found the story funny, so we listened to the read through.

"Act two is set up pretty cool. Basically we'll have Kim and Hank sat on a couch centre stage. Girl and Guy will be on their respective friend's side." The director explained as he moved us around.

As there was no couch on the stage, Peter and I just sat cross-legged in the middle of the circle. Betty was a few feet away from me, and Flash was a few feet away from Peter.

"And scene."

This prompted us to begin our scene. Guy and Girl went on about how their date attempts were not going well. It didn't take long to realize Kim and Hank were an item. That's not what threw us off. We were supposed to be playing a video game and just talking to our friends. To be honest, it's what Peter and I do with most of our time.

What made things interesting was the stage direction.

"Think they'll be okay?" Peter read.

"Yeah, they're fine." I replied.

Then our director read the directions out loud.

"They peck each other briefly on the lips. Oh my God."

Suddenly an eruption of laugher and dramatic smooching sounds filled the auditorium.

Peter looked at me with red cheeks that could rival how red mine were.

"Ha! Go on and kiss him!" A student nudged my arm.

"Mr. Reed you literally can't make her do that. It's cruel and unusual punishment." Flash shouted at the director.

"(Y/n), Peter it's up to you guys. We could just do a peck on the cheek." He suggested.

"Pete?" I cleared my throat and asked him.

"I mean, if you're okay with that." He mumbled while scratching the back of his head.

I looked at my best friend. Sure, why not? It's just a kiss.

I leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. The momentary contact allowed me to feel just how hot his cheeks were.

I don't think the rest of the group expected me to actually kiss him. Everybody fell deathly silent after. After a beat, Mr. Reed continued to read the stage directions.

We continued our scene as a blubbering mess. Once it was over Mr. Reed began to set up the next scene. Peter and I immediately retreated to our spot in the circle.

A boy next to me, James, smiled and said I looked like I was in pain. I laughed at his comment. He was pretty funny. For the rest of the read through he kept me thoroughly entertained. He had funny comments to make during every scene. I could tell we would become fast friends.

…..

Practice went on for six weeks. Peter magically found a balance between school, the play, and his heroic responsibilities.

At this point, I've kissed Peter more times than I've ever thought possible. We had our lines memorized, but our director suggested we came in to work on our delivery before opening night.

Other groups were in the auditorium too. I instantly noticed James doing something over the top on the back. Just seeing him doing something like that made me smile.

"(Y/n), Peter, perfect, hop on stage and we'll work on your scene."

Peter hopped up first and offered me a hand. Before I could even accept his hand I saw James run on stage. He also offered me a hand up. As I began to develop a crush on James these past few weeks, so I accepted James' help. Once I was on stage, I felt James place a had on the small of my back. He whispered a quick good luck in my ear before running off.

I turned back to Peter and saw him eyeing James as he went in a completely different direction.

"You nervous?" I asked with excitement.

This may be Peter's first play, but it's all a routine to me now. I loved performing.

"Is it obvious?" He nervously fidgeted with his hands.

"A little." I joked and took my seat on the couch.

He followed and looked out to the currently empty audience.

"Okay, you two we need to figure out this scene." Our director came up out of nowhere.

"I looked at other people doing this scene on YouTube and they're just more convincing. I want to capture some of that realness. This time with the kiss, I want you to kiss her cheek, Peter."

"What?" We both said simultaneously.

"I just want to see how it looks. From the top."

We did our scene as usual, but I was so in the routine of kissing Peter that I still went to do it as before. But Peter also went in to kiss my cheek. Before we even processed what was happening we were kissing. On the lips.

I was the first to pull away. I felt my cheeks go up in flames. I heard our director applaud. My mouth remained agape. I looked at his shocked facial expression. His face mirrored mine.

"I'm sorry!" I quickly jumped off the couch. "Peter, I am so sorry. I forgot. I'm so used to doing the scene the other way and I just…"

Peter didn't get to say anything as Mr. Reed stopped my apologies.

"(Y/n), don't apologize. That made the scene 10 times better! We figured out your scene." He walked off to help others with their scenes.

When I looked back at the couch, Peter was gone.

I took off backstage in an attempt to find him. I'd be damned if I let our friendship be ruined by a mistake I made.

But I couldn't deny that kissing him felt invigorating. As cliche as having your best friend be your first kiss, and suddenly realizing you had a crush on them this whole time sounds, it's what just happened to me.

"Hey, so I was wondering if you'd be willing to... woah, where are you in a rush to?"

James. I felt him place his arms on either side of me, locking me in place. My eyes still wondered around, trying to find Peter.

"Uh, yeah, have you seen Peter?" I asked.

"Yeah, he just went outside."

James gestured to the stage exit. I shrugged his hands off of me and jogged outside.

There he was. My best friend for 10 years hiding his face in his hands while leaning on the railing. I heard light sniffles. Had he been crying?

"Peter?" I asked while gently placing my hand on his shoulder.

He visibly tensed at the contact. I drew my hand back.

"Peter, I am extremely sorry, but we can just forget this. Because I don't particularly want our friendship to end like this." I moved so I was now leaning on the railing with him.

In that moment I decided to mask the newly found feelings I had for him. I didn't want to lose him, so if that meant I had to bury what I felt, so be it.

He let out a breathy laugh. "You are oblivious."

I looked at him, expecting an explanation.

He closed his eyes and took a breath.

"(Y/n), I've liked you since 7th grade."

He looked up to meet my gaze. His deep brown eyes showed fear. I even noticed the hair on his arms standing up.

"And you're telling me we need to forget that kiss so we can go back to the friend zone." He added.

I was speechless. Peter having a crush on me all the way back in 7th grade is an insane thought. Seventh grade (Y/n) was not particularly attractive in any way, shape, or form.

"Well, I don't think I can forget it." He suddenly turned to face me fully.

"Peter, that was a stage kiss." I paused, he looked immediately disappointed.

"We need a real one." I continued in a small voice.

He perked up. With some newfound confidence he grabbed one of my hands. He looked down at our hands and then back up to my face. His eyes flicked to my lips. Mine also found themselves looking at his light pink lips. He tucked some loose hair behind my ear and began leaning in. While we were standing, he was too tall for me. I had to stand on my tippy toes to even have a chance to reach him. Even then, he still had to lower himself a tad.

We both smiled as our lips connected. This one was much longer and sweeter than the first.

All previous "feelings" for James disintegrated into thin air.

I had a feeling our scene was going to be 100 times better now.

[staliasjeronica]

Beronica - I Don’t Wanna Sleep Alone

Dedicated to my twitter friend Belle ❤️ I made the gif below by myself and honestly I’m SO PROUD!!! I’ve never been able to make a successful gif so uh I’ll stare at it forever okay if you use it please let me know so I can see it on your post too!

“It’s late. Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Pairing: Beronica - Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge (romantic)

“You’re asking me why I slept with your rent-a-cop?” Hermione Lodge humorously exclaimed, flailing her arms wildly as her and her husband, Hiram, were far too deep into a screaming match—their daughter, Veronica, hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep because all of their dirty little secrets coming out in a wave of anger and misplaced issues. And there was nothing Veronica could say or do to ease their minds. “Maybe you should ask your blonde mistress! Why is it okay for you to cheat on me, but I can’t have my own fun?”

Veronica groaned to herself, grabbing the navy blue pillow from under her head and coiling it around her face, trying to muffle out the sounds of her parents’ fight. But even through the rich silk and expensive cotton, it continued as if they were standing in the middle of her room. Letting out a sigh, she tossed the pillow and failed idea to the side before she sat up and snatched her phone from her medium sized nightstand beside her bed.

She wasn’t even sure who she was going to call—her fingers danced around the screen until a number was being called. Before she could truly register who she was calling, Veronica placed her free right hand over her ear, knowing that with her parents screaming in the background, it would be hard to hear when she answered.

She waited until the ringing ended before allowing the small, tender smile to spread onto her lips. And, when the girl answered the phone call and mumbled a sleepy, “hello?” it was like a temporary release from her problems. However, it only lasted for a couple of moments. “Veronica, it’s late. Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Sorry to wake you, B,” Veronica bit down on her lip guiltily, wishing she had never called in the first place. “Never mind, I’ll just call you tomorrow—”

Veronica could hear a loud crinkling on the phone, but she was still able to make out the crackly “no” that Betty dismissed, and then the light clinking of her flicking on her lamp. “No, it’s totally fine, V. What’s up?”

Her parent’s voices grew louder, if that were even possible. Veronica groaned, “my parents are fighting and I can’t sleep. I didn’t know who else to call.”

“Why don’t you come on over, then? It’s pretty cold and I could use somebody to cuddle with,” Betty drawled, attempting to speak innocently despite both girls knowing that her hidden intentions were anything but. Something about being up late, when everybody else was asleep, and hearing that Veronica needed her to escape from her parents stirred a soft, hot feeling in her blood.

“Elizabeth Cooper, are you inviting me over to your house to… warm you up?” Veronica gasped in surprise, yet in the back of her mind she knew that ever since their kiss on Veronica’s first day of school, their relationship had been merely platonic with hints of flirtation. Thinking about it evolving into a real relationship like Veronica had wanted, her stomach churned in excitement. “My specialty may be ice, but I’ve been told I’m the best at warming people up.”

Betty let out a soft laugh, causing a grin to erupt on Veronica’s lips—the sound brought a safe, angelic feel to her body, like she was being caressed by the girl despite being in their own homes a couple miles apart. “Then, by all means, come help me. My mom is downstairs with FP and she won’t let me turn on the heater.”

Veronica furrowed her eyebrows. “Why?”

“I asked her, which was stupid, by the way, and she said it was because it gave her and FP a reason to get even more intimately close than they already are,” Betty gagged, which brought a snicker from Veronica. “Hey, don’t laugh. It’s disgusting when you remember I dated my step-brother.”

“True,” Veronica murmured. “I’ll get dressed, and then I’ll take my car to your place. Is there… anything specific you want me to wear?”

“Pajamas, duh!” Betty exclaimed, deflating Veronica’s smile. “And then under, maybe some cute silky intimates.”

“Intimates?” Veronica laughed at the term, “sure, but only if you do the same, B. Just… please don’t wear the one you used when you tried to drown Chuck, okay? It’s hot, but remembering you going crazy and trying to kill a man isn’t sexy.”

“Fine.”

“Oh, and if you even think of bringing that wig out just to fuck with me, I will burn it in a trashcan outside in front of you,” Veronica muttered, just in case she was thinking of being her normal, joking self. “I still don’t get why you haven’t thrown it away.”

“Because it’s a remind for me to never be like that again, V,” Betty sighed, “it was horrible, and I was in a bad place.”

“Can’t you keep the lingerie for that?”

“Yes… but also the wig isn’t mine so I can’t really throw it away. Polly had it for a play she did a couple of years ago.”

“Oh. Then give it back.”

Betty groaned lightly. “Before you kill the mood by making me talk about what I’ve done in the past, how about you get your ass dressed and get over here? I’m freezing, and I’m really looking forward to your presence.”

Giving in, Veronica nodded to herself and released a quick, sharp breath. “Fine. Be ready by the time I get there, Cooper, because I’m not in the mood for waiting.”

“Good, because neither am I.”

Veronica lightly tapped on the window of Betty’s room, thankful that there was a ladder left on the ground by the bushes. Her large, black trench coat shifted in the breeze, causing a shiver to roll up her spine. “If Betty doesn’t fucking hurry…”

Betty walked through her bedroom door, prompting Veronica to snag her attention with another tap on the window—Betty’s eyes widened, pacing over to let Veronica in. “God, I’m so sorry, I had to go to the bathroom so badly. Please tell me you weren’t here for very long.”

“No, I just got here,” Veronica shook her head, chuckling while she shivered and rubbed her arms. “Speaking of, who knew that it would take my parents fighting for us to… you know… get together.” Veronica was afraid that she had hoped for too much, that all this was simply a lonely cry for temporary intimacy, and that nothing permanent would stay after the night was over.

“I’ve been afraid to talk about our feelings. Because, I know that I do have feelings for you, but I wasn’t sure if you did,” Betty looked down at her pink-coated toenails, awkwardly sucking on her left cheek.

Veronica stepped forward, placing both of her hands on the blonde’s cheeks, prompting Betty to flicker her gaze up to meet Veronica’s. The smile Veronica wore brought a small feeling of ease into the pit of her rolling stomach. “Betty, when I was helping you get into the Vixens, I was also trying to see if you were into girls.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure,” Betty mumbled, suddenly all too aware of Veronica’s hands on her cheeks, and how close her face was to hers. “Can you do it again?”

Veronica chuckled, flicking her tongue out to wet her lips before she planted them on Betty’s—her fingers caressed Betty’s soft skin, she trailed down to drape her arms around her friend’s shoulders as if they were at a dance. It might have only been a minute since she’s been out of the cold bitter air of Riverdale, but everywhere Betty collided with her body was on fire. The nerves all throughout their bodies were lighting up chaotically, and they loved it.

Pulling away, albeit neither of them wanted to, Betty glanced down at Veronica’s trench coat. “I sure hope you have on shorts under that trench coat.”

Veronica laughed, slowly dropping her coat to the floor as she remained eye contact with Betty, smirking as the other girl gulped harshly. “Of course, la mignonne.”

Betty leaned forward to quickly place a chaste kiss upon the Lodge girl’s lips. She let out a content sigh, mumbling, “are you going to tell me what that means?”

“Mmhm, maybe,” Veronica whispered, mirroring the little kiss again before she pulled Betty onto her bed. “If you ask nicely.”

“Just shut up and help me take my shirt off, V.”

Veronica tsked teasingly, “I guess you’re not in a nice mood—looks like you’re not going to understand anything I say in French. Donc, je vais certainement être au top, mon amour.”

La mignonne - cutie

Donc, je vais certainement être au top, mon amour - So, I am definitely going to be on top, my love.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p22 reaction

So, John was doing something vaguely relevant to the plot.

Does that mean that whatever that was in the wallet for him to find, wasn't relevant? Or did Dirk really skip to a point in the future in his narration? I'd think that if a living person was captchalogued in the wallet, that'd be plot relevant.

If so, I wonder if it's more than one. But we're not likely to catch up with both Aradia and Terezi in one go. Also, I doubt Vriska somehow captchalogued herself in this wallet to escape the clutches of gravity. Well, except maybe if after reverse engineering the code for the wallet, she also alchemized a regular wallet besides the 8-ball/wallet combo.

But that makes me think of something else. I wonder what the max storage space of the wallet is... If it's functionally infinite, they have a functionally infinite singularity of questionable intent that might be in need of cleaning up at one point. :P Though it's doubtful.

---

"You’ve been drifting so long that you’ve lost the ability to objectively judge time or depth or distance. It’s getting hard to think about yourself as an objectively limited being. The boundaries of your skin begins to thin and disappear." Oooh, is it the lack of milestones in that plane, maybe, that's causing this introspection? Or is it just part of his ascension to his ultimate self?

"If your perception expands beyond the meat sack of your body, then are you really an individual anymore? Why shouldn’t we become gods? Why shouldn’t we become one God." Sounds like something Dirk might say - I know, funny because Dirk IS saying this, in John's stead. Alternatively, if Alternate Calliope is really malevolent, this might be her motivation to devouring everything ever. She wants to become UNIVAC.

"You scrunch up your nerdy face and furrow an eyebrow. It seems you aren’t enjoying this train of thought." John's intrusive thoughts are next level.

"Sorry, dude. That’s what’s on my mind right now. I’m having a phenomenological debate in my third ear that’s way more popping than your little hero’s journey into the belly of a quarter-life crisis." For a minute I thought he meant he was debating this with Kanaya, but he put her on hold so I was like: :? Then I realized he said "third ear", I guess that's something akin to the mind's eye, in that he's currently using the narration for his internal monologue.

"It turns out you don’t have time to worry about the voice inside your head, because you hear one outside of it." Ooh! Someone living, one we expect to be out here? And there Dirk goes, burying John's emerging awareness again, for a moment.

"At first you don’t think it’s real." ... Please don't be Alternate Calliope.

"MEENAH: yo blue guy MEENAH: get the shell down here"OOOOOH! She's alive!! ... Well, no, she's still dead, but you know. She survived Lord English, and the Black Hole. Girl's really got spunk. So, that brings her back in the running for candidates for John to give the ring to. ... Speaking of. Did John just, like, shrugged off Lord English's tooth, or is the poison still in his body?

I'm glad we saw her, it means that more people could have survived that were around before the battle (alive or dead), as well as the B2 kids that died during the battle! But uh... What even is still sustaining their existence? I mean, the dreambubbles were created to house them, only Sollux was able to leave through mumbo jumbo class/aspect magic.

"Your whirl around, upside down. You look up, then down. There she is." Hah, yeah, no point of reference, no gravity, so indeed, she could have been every where, relevant to him, that's also why she shouted "down here"!

"She’s clinging to a random server beacon, looking a little the worse for wear but still grinning. You float on down to greet her." Tsssh, she located the server running the LE code??? What could they even do with that, anymore. (How did it even survive.)

At least, I'm guessing it's that server, not the server hosting Rose's walkthrough. :P

So yeah, uh, that server was connected to Doc Scratch's study. In the Green Sun. ... Has it become a non-letal shortcut to Alternate Calliope now?

"JOHN: thank god. i was beginning to think that no one else was alive. MEENAH: im not alive" Hah! Ba-dum tssh.

"JOHN: oh right. sorry. JOHN: i’m glad to see you, is what i meant to say. MEENAH: same MEENAH: i fuckin guess" Yeah, not many of her friends will be left, probably. If any.

"She narrows her blank eyes. Her mouth twists into a frown. Not quite a concerned one, but close enough. You’ll take it." Is she noticing John has become an adult? ... Or yeah it might just be general concern, the situation is alarming enough. I wonder if she knows about Vriska? And what that exactly means to her, 16-year-old Vriska probably being dead for good.

Oh boy, but this is so cool, she's got potential for just as much as the Condesce, who had ties to Lord English. I wonder if she'll be instrumental in the final stages of the epilogues, if Alternate Calliope ends up being the/a end boss.

Can't shake the idea I'd like her to end up on Earth C, but then she'd not have a good role to play in a utopia, I think. But then what is her role in the story from here on out, exactly.

"MEENAH: damn buoy ya look like S)-(IT JOHN: yeah, i know. JOHN: i suffered a mortal wound, and then i threw up on myself." He didn't get better so much as that he walked it off.

"MEENAH: waterboat lord english MEENAH: he bite the bullet or what JOHN: yeah he’s... JOHN: he’s pretty fucking dead. MEENAH: whale MEENAH: theres that at least

There is definitely that, at least." Must feel like an anticlimax to Meenah too, probably. She wasn't around to see the guy bite it that was responsible for their own universe being forced to be scratched.

"You were kind of hoping you’d discover a survivor you could have an actual conversation with. Not that you aren’t glad to see Meenah, but you don’t /know/ her, and she’s not who you were really looking for." Funny how Meenah grew on John so much, what with how she ran him through on at least two occasions. I was thinking at first John was looking for Vriska, but that's just an automatism, a left over from when John still felt something for her. Of course, I forgot about Jade.

"That reminds you. JOHN: hey, uh... JOHN: mee... JOHN: fish? JOHN: (christ.)" Is that supposed to be a fish pun in her name, him using one cause he knows she likes them? Or is it that Dirk may remember Meenah's name (hearsay, in his case, since he's post-retcon - then again, ultimate self), but not John. :P

"JOHN: have you by any chance seen jade around? MEENAH: who da fuck is jade"PFffff, hah! Now she gets a chance as well to broadcast her ignorance in the names of the people in the other parties. 'THEY'RE ALL NAMED CARLOS AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.'

"JOHN: i mean, REALLY? JOHN: you don’t know jade?" The time she spent a lot of time dreaming in the dreambubbles was before the A1 trolls ever became relevant. On the three year trip, the indication seemed to be they just met a lot of A2 ghosts from alternate timelines in their dreams.

"JOHN: jade’s like, a big deal? JOHN: i thought you were kind of important too?" Well, different circles. Top of class vs. top dog on the play yard.

"MEENAH: you didnt even know my name dog" He knew you were an alternate to Betty Crocker, though. :P

"You’ve never been accused of having stellar people-reading skills. But even you can tell the look on her face says it all right now." Well, just be glad he isn't Jake, or even a death glare wouldn't suffice.

"JOHN: wait a minute. JOHN: do you even know MY name? MEENAH: uhhh" Pfffff, hah! Actually, valid question. What with how she referred to even her friends by last name (okay, that's because they weren't revealed yet), and had all those nicknames for them (and Karkat and Aradia)... Maybe she's just really bad with names.

"MEENAH: like MEENAH: joke? MEENAH: joke somefin" Wrong bespectacled nerd, but I can see why she'd mix them up. :P Close enough, though!

"JOHN: joke is my biological father. JOHN: i mean JAKE! JOHN: jake is his name." No, I think jokes might actually have fathered you. :P What with how he's a trickster and all.

"Halfway through this exchange, Meenah pulls out a small, clamshell-shaped accessory kit, and begins to file her nails." This is starting to turn into an awkward schoolyard conversation between classmates that don't really know each other.

"She almost dislocates her jaw by yawning the moment you mention Jake." Which is funny because Jake could've dislocated her jaw when he pounced on her when he thought she was past Condesce. :P

"You decide to do her, as well as yourself, the favor of completely ruling out the possibility of eliciting any valuable information from this person." No, Dirk, I do think she still has an ace up her sleeve, even if she doesn't even know it yet. But at least maybe now they'll acknowledge the server?

"MEENAH: i aint moved from this floatin hunger trunk lookin piece of shit since i got my bass kicked" Hah, yeah, it does look like a fridge, in Andrew's art style. :P

"JOHN: well, you’re the first i’ve seen too. MEENAH: oh" I wonder who she might have wanted to find, besides Vriska.

"JOHN: so what’s your plan now?" Don't think she has any left, now. You'll have to lead, Johnnyboy.

"JOHN: you just gonna hang around here, in the middle of nowhere, doing nothing forever? MEENAH: thats what ghosts is most good at aint they" It wasn't what she set out to do, initially, though! She hates inertia.

"JOHN: you don’t have to stay here. JOHN: i can take you back with me, to my planet." Aha! It would have all sorts of implications, of course, since she didn't "win" by any measure. So the victory state would not account for her presence. It won't happen just yet, of course.

"Meenah stares at you for an uncomfortably long time. She looks you up and down, like she’s making certain calculations. On the one hand, spending infinity clinging to a fridge-like space computer circling a black hole sounds like a drag. On the other hand, will her coolness and street cred be able to survive any prolonged association with this dumb blue nerd? That’s what she could be thinking, you think. You hope not though, because if true, it would hurt your self-esteem." I give Meenah more credit than that - her attitude is part of a facade - but she could indeed be thinking exactly that. On the other hand, she might actually genuinely not know if he's "fo' real", one, and two, what she'd even do on his planet. ... Also, is John really asking a girl over to his place? He truly IS an adult. :P

"She finally appears to make up her mind. MEENAH: naaah" Hah, as if it's a drag for her. And what's her motivation then?

"MEENAH: ok for one thing genius MEENAH: im dead" Well, that's not a problem, though she wouldn't know. John still has the Ring of Life with him. But I wonder what the other reason is.

Hah, Blaperile points out that Meenah at one point told John specifically not to give her the ring, cause she didn't like how she turned out as Condesce. Right, she might think living is no longer her thing. Which is hilarious for a Life player. Still think John might make the proposition.

Also, she thinks she might not fit in with the others, but she doesn't have to worry. They're all disasters, one and all.

"MEENAH: i wont even last on your planet ill just like MEENAH: fade away or some shit MEENAH: i dont know what happens to ghosts in real places actually but ima guess it goes somefin like that" See also: what ever happened to Aranea after Game Over. :P

"MEENAH: anyway while you was floatin there i came up with my own plan" ? There's not a lot of options here, really. The Black Hole... Mugging John... Lazying about...

"JOHN: what is it? MEENAH: cmere MEENAH: gonna whisper it to you" Option A) she screams. Option B) she mugs him for the ring. Option C) she'll stab him again, assuming he's another hologram self.

"You lean in rather credulously, and bring your ear toward her cupped hand. MEENAH: (nerd)

You pull back, unamused by the prank. What is this, you think. Fucking amateur hour?" Hah, chances are high she just swiped the ring. Or the wallet. Once a Thief... But heheh, still funny how Meenah likes to prank. Seems like Condesce and Sassacre really found one another. :P

"MEENAH: reel cute you wanna be my savior blue boy MEENAH: but the fact is you already helped me out MEENAH: got everyfin i need from you MEENAH: sea ya round sucker! 38)" She putting the ring on now? But uh, she'd spawn on Earth C, right? Or right there?

"She’s laughing her ass off. Before you can react, she jams the button down on the beacon and opens the server. She jumps into the hatch and the door snaps closed behind her." ... What! WHAT??? ... She's not in cahoots with Alternate Calliope, is she? She might just be trying to defeat the end boss herself. At least, if the server still leads to where the Green Sun used to be.

"Oh shit." ... It doesn't lead to Dirk now, does it?

"I think I know what just happened. You might want to check your pockets." So, if she took the wallet and not the ring, that means what's inside the wallet is relevant to the plot!

"Sure enough, it’s missing. The Ring of Life you stole back from Aranea has been re-stolen. Bitch just picked your pocket. You got played, man." Wow. So she's actually decided to go through with getting resurrected. ... Although it could actually be for Alternate Calliope, but then what would even the implications of her resurrection be?? It would be a parallel to how Condy worked for LE. But if there's two alive Calliopes that ended up on Earth C, I suspect there might be an impersonation at one point.

Yeah, so if both wear a Ring of Life/Void... Maybe that'd have funky repercussions as well. Not to mention they're both versions of the same "ultimate self" - although 'our' Calliope's not a god tier, there might be a bleedover again, like with Jade. But Alternate Calliope might want to dispose of Calliope, if she wants to become the only version of them. Then again, she did specifically tell her other to go and enjoy life.

---

I wonder if it'll become relevant at any point that having everyone in the dreambubbles follow you would supposedly grant you the boon of resurrection. Since there's so few people left out here, it seems like it could have become a feasible thing to do. In fact, it might be that this is represented by Alternate Calliope's resurrection, if events really play out like that: Meenah might be the only other ghost left. Unless there are still the other A2 ghosts we're missing, from the character list.

[ziggory]

Riverdale Liveblogs 3x07 - 3x13

Instead of making you all suffer through six separate liveblogs as I was catching up, have them all in on post!

3x07, “The Man in Black”

Remember when Jughead was the biggest woobie ever with a bunch of sad shit happening to him. Fun times. Honestly, Jughead’s just really taking advantage of finally being on the roadtrip he was denied

Justice for Jingle Jangle. Why did we need a new drug? Or I’d be fine with it complementing the other but NOooOooOOOO. It’s trying to shove JJ out of the spotlight!

Elvis’ granddaughter could’ve just drugged the eggs but instead she chose to nearly give Archie a concussion. Hiram might chop her head off if his Archiekins gets permanent brain damage

Let Archie kill a man!! Jughead got to skin someone who was fucking up his life. Why can’t he let Archie take his shot!? I can’t hear you about consequences

Your business is failing because trading away the final piece of the Soutshide to open a vanity project in the form of a dry speakeasy was not a great idea. Also, gamers can give you business. I’ve seen it!

The show can make Veronica say all these supposedly empowering lines, but I’m never going to forget that she supported a for-profit prison

MAYBE MY DAD’S NOT SO BAD!!?!?

This voiceover was completely unnecessary. Honestly, it’s sort of a slap in the face to Lili’s acting as if they didn’t think she could convey certain things without some hand holding

I’ve seen movies. They make you swallow that shit on the spot

So many negative thoughts being awkwardly confirmed

Honestly, this is what happens when you keep exploiting the place for abuses to help your investigations but never fucking shut it down

3x08, “Outbreak”

Does Moose need drugs to get it up? He said Midge liked to get wild, but methinks he liked it of his own volition as well. And just what I wanted. Shadowy makeouts while high on drug laced childhood candy

Kevin needs to find out who put a curse on his dick. ANOTHER hookup interrupted by bodies in danger

I don’t know why a group of high school boys acting like typical jackass high school boys with loud laughing is cause for thinking they’re all high.

“good people like Archie” 

Gladys being a Jarchie shipper is pure. I will not stand for this no homoing

Wait, Cheryl did actually get to be Student Body President? I thought they were just going to let that circle the drain and disappear

MY FAVORITE INCOMPETENT EDUCATIONAL ADMINISTRATOR

THE PRISON WAS A FUCKING COVER?!?!? So all of S2 was just…oh my fucking god, I’m going to do drown myself

“good looking shortsatck” Love it. Goddamn, I love Gladys

Do they know that the way they write Hiram and Veronica feels like it’s been dipped in ten layers of incest? He talks to her like she’s the mistress he wants to bed

The affection the Jones women have for Archie is cute

The Gargoyle King being a hallucination is the most disappointing thing

TABLETOP RPGS ARE NOT FUCKING BORN OF MADNESS. Ugh, my inner geek is angry with rage

Oh, now you care about the kids in conversion therapy

So I guess they didn’t go to Toledo for Christmas??

Lili should get a raise for this Griffin Queen shit

I’m more emotional than I would usually be over these Fred scenes given Luke Perry’s recent condition

PROTECT THAT FUCKING DOG WITH YOUR FUCKING LIFE!! THROW YOURSELF IN FRONT OF A BEAR

I missed alcoholic Hermione. And lmao this Watchmen realness

I love Silent!Kevin getting nothing to say in that office! Just fucking great

we need to know more about this fucking Governor. Racist piece of shit who gets upset about vandalized statues of genocidal war criminals, AND he’s under Hiram’s thumb.

3x09, “No Exit”

Will someone get bit by a monkey? I can only hope

Oh fuck off with the Star Wars reference. IT DOESN’T FIT

Stealing from the rich to give to the rich. How very one percenter. And Toni, all your friends are living in tents by the river

KEVIN. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU ALWAYS JOIN THE WORST GROUPS

While the implication of Jughead sleeping over is nice, what the fuck was the point of last episode’s cliffhanger. This timeline makes no sense

I’M GETTING FIREWATCH VIBES

They’re so fucking low budget that they couldn’t even show the bear, LMAO

I forgot what Fangs sounded like. Didn’t FP retire? ARE THERE EVEN ANY ADULTS LEFT IN THIS FUCKING JOKE OF A GANG. But Damn, Fangs is good at crying. So pretty

Aww, I actually missed the hammy ass warden

Every time Joaquin’s name is mentioned, another dagger in my heart

The fact that the sisters have been fake nuns this whole time is just…what the fuck. AND THE FUCKING SOCIAL WORKER KNEW AND JUST LET THEM KEEP OPERATING!?!? LET THIS WHOLE FUCKING TOWN FALL INTO A HELLMOUTH

Remember when Jughead was outraged about the Serpents being paid security at the Pickens festival thing? Time is a flat circle

CHERYL, WHY DON’T YOU JSUT KILL HIRAM THEN

“SAVED”!??! REALLY NANA ROSE!?! IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL THE CHILD GROOMING YOU DID!? And uh, Fred and Sierra should know about that sordid piece of Penelope’s past

Damn, Veggie is hot as fuck

You know who else could’ve gone undercover for the Serpents to infiltrate the Gargoyle gang?!????? I HATE YOU FOREVER, RAS. ANOTHER AU FOR THE DRAWER

3x10, “The Stranger”

LMAO that they tried to make us think Archie died

Being attacked by a bear in Canada means not having to suffer through crippling debt because of the hospital bill for the rest of your life

Sidenote, but I really thought the painting of Veronica would have a bug or something. The fact that she just kept the painting instead of burning it says something

Oh so the core four are THOSE type of friends

Betty’s money >> those kids

Claudius just doesn’t want to do actual work

They let a kid pass the first grade when he couldn’t read? So the educational system has always been rather shit

Hey there, Silent!Kevin! Just sitting silently with your slowly developing biceps

Does Reggie know what PTSD is

I spy with my little eyes Kevin in the corner putting his PE clothes away! Once again robbed of a shirtless scene

FUCKING TALL BOY!?!? Lol, this is really good for my drawer fic actually. Keep sounding like a spiteful man! It’s semi feeding me

Wow, they really crammed in two Varchie sex scenes

Hiram deserved this and every agonizing second of pain he felt

Raw milk, huh? Yeah, that’s all you need to bait Kevin into this cult

Bye Claudius, no one will miss you

I want Hermione/FP to fuck

Jughead throwing a party to make things better is the biggest twist this series has ever done

Archie the alcoholic, eh. If this lasts more than one episode, that’d sure be something

3x11, “The Red Dahlia”

This is the noir episode, isn’t it. I’m…really bad with noir so an episode from THIS team is going to be…very trying

Awww, FP mentioning Joaquin is an extra pang. I wanted to know more about their relationship

I’d love to see the notes on this draft when Jughead tries submitting it to a publisher. Unless he goes the self pub route

Who even runs the newspaper now?

Betty, you’re like the last person to talk about black and white morality

Archie sounds like the protagonist of Office Space at the end when he finds his calling in construction

ELIO HAS SPOKEN MORE THAN MELODY EVER DID. EAT SHIT, RAS

I still need Jughead and Veronica arguing about classic cinema

I wonder where Penelope learned those crocodile tears, Nana. Like I never need a scene of her criticizing her ADOPTED DAUGHTER again

Cheryl is pretty forgiving of the uncle who sort of helped with her institutionalization

Have these boys never watched an episode of Breaking Bad? Put that body in a barrel

So has Veronica had a change of heart about Daddykins? I’m so confused

SMITHERS!?!? YOu’RE STILL ALIVE!? Protect this man

Remember when Betty was a camgirl for ten seconds and watched all of her fake brother’s porn videos

Josie’s voice is pure butter, and the show needs to stop pretending that we want to hear anyone else sing

Why doesn’t Toni have a job at Veronica’s dry speakeasy? She used to be an actual bartender!

“Kevin’s dad boxes at the gym” being a line from Josie is the most beautiful line in this episode

Well at least they explained the seizures.

YYYAAAAAASSSS, KELLY RIPPA!!

What is even the point of Minetta having faked his death just to be Hermione’s kept man

Well, damn, I really didn’t see this FP reveal coming. I wish he was the sheriff Hermione was fucking. And given all the things Jughead used to say and aim at Keller, it’s interesting to see him have to deal with his dad being somewhat in Hermione’s pocket

PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER, ARCHIE

Lmao at this Bad Boys line. I see you, synergy

Honestly, how dare Archie shoot the person who was going to kill Hiram. I guess that’s one way to bury the Archie/Hiram grudge

Hermione’s trigger finger is life goals

3x12, “Bizarrodale”

So first off, fuck that title and everything it implies.

Second, this is the episode where I’m supposed to finally get fed, eh? FINGERS CROSSED

I forgot what Kevin sounded like after not talking for four episodes

WHEN CAN WE MEET KEVIN’S MOM!?!? I HAVE MANY FANCASTS

Veronica watches Netflix confirmed, and yet I guess she just scrolls past Orange is the New Black every time it’s recommended to her

Why are Kevoose makeouts always in shadow? Is it to disguise the fact that when they makeout it’s with their lips sealed shut

The actor who plays Major Mason followed me back on my burner instagram

Awww, Sweet Pea is a relationship guy with a gooey little heart!

Sierra pegs Tom confirmed. Love these two kinky fuckers

The way Tom says “Gargoyle King” goes straight to my nether regions

So does Britta have a kink for people outing others against their will? I swear this is a plot point in Ship It too

I feel like these issues are something they should’ve talked about way more. Making Moose’s coming out be an ultimatum is pretty gross

How DARE they not let us hear Josie sing?!??! Ohhhh, if we’d heard Josie sing then we would sent death threats to the fake Juilliard board. I never want to hear Josie’s teary little voice again because it hurts my feelings

Lmao, this is the second time a parent has been judgmental of how the Lodges involve Veronica in their business

Remember that time Moose and Cheryl made out? I’m forever traumatized by that

Hiram and Hermione strolling in like a fucked up Gomez and Morticia

I’m sure that Dilton would approve of his friend from another lifetime using his secret bunker to pop his cherry. But only Moose. Yes, I ship comics Dilton/Moose

Oh, HeeEYEEEEEEE, IT’S LIKE A BUNCH OF MY FIC DREAMS COME TO LIFE. Wow, I finally got pandered to. Kevin being in dagner is like…the basis of the majority of my drawer fics

I’M FUCKING PSYCHIC X2!!!! Well huh, this puts that earlier diner scene in a new light

Yesss, please keep calling him Tommy and talking about how Kevin looks like your old friend with that sad, wistful tone. Please feed my fic bunnies

Christ, Ashleigh has such a fucking amazing voice. I can actually bear KJ’s singing

Moose having to leave makes sense. ALSO MAKE SURE YOU WATCH CODY”S SHOW ON NETFLIX TO MAKE THIS WORTH IT

I never want to see Kevin cry again. Fucking Maramaduke

Gladys can step on me, and I’d apologize

3x13, REQUEIM FOR A WELTERWEIGHT

I’M FINALLY ALL FUCKING CAUGHT UP

I don’t think that bacon is fully cooked

So Veronica just decided to not move back out because the path of least resistance?? And she’s back in her Daddy’s clutches because....he got shot???

The Serpent with the awesome dreads is still there! Can he be an actual character with a name? He deserves it

Between last episode and this one, I am being fucking BLESSED with Daddy Keller content. 

VERONICA IS a FUCKING REPUBLICAN CONFIRMED. I guess we all know who scrolled right past 13th on Netflix! 

They’re really trying to sweep up their awkward plot mistakes from last season, eh

I need a flashback of young Alice in this ugly fucking wedding dress

This is some Rocky and Mickey shit. Hopefully Keller doesn’t have a heart attack while confronting Mr. T

YES, GLADYS!!! CALL OUT THAT LEADERSHIP!

San Junipero water, huh. 

Why is Archosie so perfect

Ehhhh, the last time they talked was eight episodes ago. Will this scene be about how Kevin’s recovering post-Moose?? Of course not. My hopes for investigative Kevin are once again yanked away. Though of course remember that time she got him to catfish a murderer without telling him that Chic had killed someone?? Fun times

“cute gay farmies”

Veronica is the opposite intimidating ESPECIALLY in the face of Gladys who we all know has actually fucked up a bitch

The monstrous Freeform ate Malachai, eh. Ghoulie jackets are still the best jackets

I’ve never watched Apocalypse Now so this scene is wasted on me

THUNDERDOME!!?!?

Keller looks like he gives good hugs

How the fuck did Jason learn about The Farm?

This is Polly’s revenge for being sent to the Sisters

It’s awkward how Choni just sort of disappeared from the episode

Damn, Archosie has everything going on

Hermione, you should’ve just killed Hiram when you had the chance

PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER JUGHEAD!

Gladys doling out gang advice is just everything I wanted from her

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, P2 Peter Parker x Reader

Author’s Note: Thank you so much to my new followers and to everyone who liked Part 1! As I mentioned before, this is the first piece of writing I’ve ever posted online, so each response means the world to me. Thank you guys so much! In particular, a huge thanks to fanboyswhereare-you, my wonderful beta.

Again, if you have any comments, questions, or anything at all that you want to tell me, send me a message. Reviews are welcome! (Please review, as a writer, I really really really value peer responses and vague validation.)

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

Without further ado,

Then Again, Part 2:

(Word count: 2,022)

I hate the waiting game.

It is by far my least favorite game to play with Peter. QuizUp, Kahoots, Monopoly, How-Many-Arguments-Can-We-Start-Between-Ned-and-MJ-In-A-Day, Charades, and Scrabble are all entertaining games to play with him. The waiting game, however, is grey and bland. Moreover, it makes me feel paranoid and clingy. Both paranoid and clingy, yet simultaneously doubtful of how valid those two emotions can be, given the circumstances. It’s a draining game of mental tennis. On one side of the court: I’m being - and coming across as - so clingy. On the other: My emotions are justified reactions that anyone would have in this situation, not knowing if their friend is okay. Peter probably knows that too. Trying to decipher which is true and which is false only leads me to bounce back and forth between those two sides for hours. Until Peter responds. Then it all goes away.

The stress of the waiting game always manifests as an itch on my right index finger.

Most days that itch only somewhat bothers me - but today, of course, isn’t most days. It’s been a wonderful, sunny day that everyone (but Flash) has been planning for over a month. Like the city, it might not be glamorous, but it’s ours and it’s meant to be special.

I mean, even Peter has been excited about this from the start, all the way up to today. Despite being somewhat of a recluse this week.

At this point, my finger is red and burning. Peter hasn’t answered my texts, Michelle’s ironically professional emails, or Ned’s dozen calls. It’s 7:15 p.m.

Michelle thought it best to arrive early, so the three - rather than four - of us await the rest of the team at a large table in a decently busy restaurant.

I open my messages. Nothing.

“We’re already here, btw.”

Whoosh. I close them. Ned glances at my phone.

“Tell him if he’s later than 8, I’ll rat him out to Aunt May. She told him this morning that he should skip his ‘Starky stuff’ and just hang out with everybody today. I don’t think she was too happy when she got home and saw he wasn’t there.”

I hadn’t heard May say anything to Peter this morning. Then again, I had fallen asleep at the table. (Michelle kept kneeing me on the couch all night - the reason I barely slept.) And when Peter woke me up because the cereal bowl I was cradling threatened to fall, May didn’t even make a joke about it. Did they have an argument?

“Earth to Y/N?” Ned waved his hand in front of my face. “Daydreaming about Spider-Man again?”

On the bright side, Peter isn’t here to hear that. Ned’s been making a lot of weird comments like that today. It’s not helping the fact I feel so paranoid. How would Ned know? And why so suddenly?

“Very funny. I’ll text him.”

I open my messages again.

“You and May okay? Ned says he’ll tell her you bailed if you don’t get here by 8. Don’t shoot the messenger.”

A few minutes later, the waiter brings a tray of waters. Two minutes more and he leads Abe, Cindy, Sally, and unexpectedly, Betty, the blonde newsgirl, non-decathlon member, to the table.

A round of “Hello!”’s are exchanged.

“It’s cool if Betty joins us, right?” Sally asks. “We all kind of met up on our way here and she was about to pass by, so we thought it’d be alright?”

“Of course,” Michelle says. Her nails drum the table. Our little code.

“Absolutely,” I add. “Ned was just saying we should have invited you, Betty!”

Ned thinks he can keep a secret. But he can’t. I’ve noticed him staring at her in seventh hour and Michelle is far too perceptive to miss it. With me, Michelle, Peter, and Flash all being in that class, you’d think he might make an effort to be less obvious.

Have I been obvious? Is that why Ned’s been making those jokes today? But why today? I barely even saw Peter today, let alone while Ned was there.

“Really? Thank you! I didn’t want to intrude on the team before you guys left or anything.”

Her smile is genuine. I suppress a laugh as Ned’s ears twinge red and he struggles for a cool way to play along.

“Yeah, totally. I mean, you should go with us to D.C. It’d be totally cool.”

“And totally against the rules,” Cindy points out, frowning. “Don’t get me wrong, it would be cool, but Mr. Harrington doesn’t let anyone outside of the team come. Trust me, I-”

BEEEEEEP! A horn blares outside. Once. Twice. Thrice. The third blast holds for ten seconds, minimum.

A waitress, her arms full of hot plates, glares out the window she’s now blocking. I have a guess as to which car in all of New York it is, though. Nevertheless, the scent of freshly baked salmon, wild rice, chocolate, and something lemony from the plates is making my mouth water. Hurry up, Parker. Even Flash is on time.

“I predict,” Abe says, “Flash will walk through those doors in approximately sixty seconds.”

Everyone watches the clock, all knowing it’s undoubtably him.

Sixty seconds later, Flash strides in.

“You know,” he announces, pulling off his the price of this could buy Ned a new gaming console jacket, “in this world, there are the Have’s and the Have-Not’s. And the Have-Not’s are real dicks to any Have’s with a worthwhile car.”

Michelle immediately starts to speak.

“No need to go off on a spiel, O Captain, Our Captain,” he mocks. “I know, I know. Rich people, poor people, power structures, etcetera etcetera. Don’t get your braids in a knot.”

“Are-”

“Oh my god! It’s not a race thing! Chill out. It’s literally because you’re wearing braids today. Not everything means something, you know!”

He’s barely sat down and he’s already trying his best to pick a fight. The consistency of it borders on comforting. In a strange, stupid way, Flash is dependable.

“Freud would beg to differ,” says a voice to my left.

I’m surprised for the second time in the last ten minutes. Peter didn’t bail.

I feel my pulse jump as he runs a hand through his hair and shrugs. I hate myself for it. He slides into the booth to take the table’s last seat beside me. Oddly, he doesn’t say hello or acknowledge me at all. Then again, he’s been odd all week.

Does Ned know something? Did he tell Peter? Does Peter feel awkward about me now?

I try to shake myself of these thoughts. Ned can’t know anything. I haven’t said a thing to anyone. It has to be something else. It has to be.

“Yeah, well,” Flash says, affronted. “Freud wasn’t a real psychologist anyway. What’s his work got to offer? It’s not even valid.”

Everyone races into the topic at once, drowning out the restaurant’s gentle music.

Moments like this make me fall in love with friends all over again. My best friends are talking passionately with their hands, their individual mannerisms and voices blending together like warm colors and soft city sounds. My other friends (or teammates, however you would label it) are bouncing points and ideas from each person to the next like an inflatable beach ball, never stumbling over one another.

For once, I sit back and soak up the moment. Admittedly, Freud is a subject I would rarely pass up, but I’m too relieved at the turn-out to think. Everyone showed up. Everyone is getting along. (As much as ever.) Rather than participate in the aggressive bonding of our group, I smile, listen, and laugh, trying to convince myself things with Peter are fine. This is the perfect night for an almost perfect day, don’t overthink it.

I take a moment to admire the restaurant. It’s one Abe suggested. The room is deep red, the hanging lights emit a delicate glow, and for the sake of minimalistic elegance, gold flecks are painted to sprinkle down the walls from the ceiling. It’s such a small detail I almost miss it. Other tables are talking and joking, silverware clanging and plates steaming. It smells like a fresh bakery impregnated with a vegetable garden and a smokehouse.

Mouth watering again, I notice Flash is the only one looking at a menu. He’s gotten to the “I don’t care about this topic anymore” stage of his argument. I don’t want to interrupt anyone, so I pick up my menu as well. Maybe someone else will catch on and one by one we’ll come back down to Earth.

“Yes it does!” Peter shouts beside me.

Maybe not.

“You can’t bring that up without discussing the one thing that clearly directly correlates his childhood to that thesis!” Peter says. I suddenly realize he’s seriously into this argument. The point he’s making is one of my own though, so it gives me a short flutter of pride. I know he listens to me and to everyone else, but it’s satisfying to have it confirmed, to know, with evidence, that we learn from each other. “Right, Ned?”

Peter turns from Flash to me to Ned. In the half-second they’re directed at me, his eyes shine with anger. My gut drops. Peter never gets angry, not like this, not at me.

“Yeah,” Ned says slowly, “but Y/N gets this better than I do. Didn’t you say-?”

Peter whips back to Flash.

“My point is-”

Ned gives me a questioning look, head tilted.

Peter is less than a foot to my left, but I take out my phone anyway. He’s too deep into the argument to notice and I can’t ignore whatever is going on anymore. I message Ned and Michelle.

“Peter mad at me for something?”

Whoosh.

The waiter returns to the table.

“Anyone ready to order?” he says, pen and paper pad in hand.

“I am,” Flash affirms immediately. “I’ll have the-”

“We’ll need a few minutes,” I say. Nobody picked up the menu hint.

The waiter nods and leaves with a smile.

“Okay, children,” Michelle says. “Let’s be quiet for a couple minutes and focus at the task at hand. Everyone have their menus? Excellent. I’m so proud. Ready. Set. Go!”

The table as a whole seems fine. Everyone here takes debating as entertainment and few topics result in any real disagreements. (Well, we get over them quickly, at least.)

Across the table, Abe points at his favorite dish as a suggestion for Cindy. Everyone else is calmly reading the first page.

Except Peter. Peter’s mouth is screwed up in mute irritation. In truth, it’s hard to take him seriously with that expression. It looks like he’s trying to hide something in there. Just a couple secrets, no big deal. I consider whispering a joke to him about it to lighten the mood. I deflect the thought immediately; I doubt it would work right now.

Ding! Ding!

My phone. Peter huffs. I switch it to silent.

MJ: “He’s acting weird. Maybe it’s about May? They got into an argument in her room while you were cuddling your Fruity Pebbles.”

“About what?”

Whoosh.

Bzz.

MJ: “I couldn’t hear. Kind of pissed me off. I have no idea. Ned?”

I glance up. Michelle has built a house out of her and Abe’s menu since he’s looking at Cindy’s. Her phone must be hidden inside like an Easter egg.

Ned, like me, hasn’t put that kind of effort into covering up our gossiping. He’s scanning the menu, but texting under the table.

Bzz.

Ned: “I heard 1: time management 2: friendly-at-home-occasionally Peter Parker 3. Y/N might”

Me?

“I might what???”

Whoosh.

Ned: “I cnat believe i typed that without any mistakes not looking. and idk. those were just the words i cauhgt.”

MJ: “Ironic, Ned.”

I sneak a peek at Peter. He lifts an eyebrow. I’m not sure if it’s a reaction to something on the menu or if he knows I’m trying to analyze him through my peripheral vision. Either way, I give up on both the analysis and the texts.

Part 3

Part 3 will be posted tomorrow night! 

Let me know what you think :)