#oh god the puns have gone too far now i must hit post before i die
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oh u like lokius do u? decline it in all six cases then.
#for clarity: this is a shit joke about it looking a bit like a latin word#i don't speak latin but i've seen it on tv#in that doctor who episode with the volcano aliens#and i can say “canis in via est” but after that i'd have to switch to spanish. because i'm vulgar like that.#disclaimer 2: that was a shit joke about 'vulgar latin' i dont think spanish is 'vulgar' in the other sense.#i once worked out how to say “fuck you” in polish with google and a poor knowledge of verb forms so i am A Great Linguist#yah i got 99 problems but być ain't one#she said vulgarly#oh god the puns have gone too far now i must hit post before i die
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Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6 Chapter 1
T/N: I mostly didn’t translate a lot of the names of the ayakashi/youkai, as well as the proper nouns because uhm... They’re basically nouns. It’s like how some translated manga are done. Plus it irks me sometimes when everything just gets transliterated, it kills off the vibe. But that’s just me. Links to references at the end of the post.
Also if you like this translation, you can share the link, reblog, but for pete’s sake DO NOT REPOST ELSEWHERE. I worked hard to finish this thing, it’s not like I just Google-translated this whole sh**..
If you need refreshers on what happened, @kakuriyo-translations already had the previous translations. I’m just contributing to this fandom. Also, as previously mentioned in my other post, the 2 seasons of the anime cover volumes 1-5, so if you need a review just rewatch them all. Volume 6 starts here.
OK, here’s the stuff now.
Volume 6 - I got hired as a novice in an Ayakashi Inn** From the back cover: Autumn has visited the Ayakashi living in Kakuriyo's long-established inn Tenjin-ya. Aoi who was kidnapped by the rival inn Orio-ya, finally ended through her cooking the hardships of, and cleared the curse of the Southern Lands. Returning home victoriously, what awaits this lady are her friends in Tenjin-ya, the warmth, and the everyday busy-ness! While thinking of new souvenir products and preparing and pushing for the Autumn Festival, she reopens her Japanese Restaurant "Yugao". That time, she was invited by Odanna-sama to a fruit orchard date. Surely him always inviting her out never changed, as time after the Orio-ya incident passes her by, is she realizing that she's starting to think that she wants to know more about Odanna-sama...?
From the inside front jacket: Yuuma Midori (Author)A citizen from Fukuoka. Her debut publication published by Alpha Police: Marrying my wife is a dangerous circumstance with a giant demonic beast. Changing her pen-name after that, she published Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi, I married into an Ayakashi Inn. Currently Fujimi Bun-ko's big hit, and is now an illustrated series released by B-s LOG COMICS.
Character introduction page Tenjin-ya: An old-established place in North-eastern Kakuriyo, where Ayakashi dwell. Under the Ogre-god's (Onigami) leadership, many visiting Ayakashi helped it flourish, although sometimes humans make visits too. Odanna-sama: Master of Kakuriyo's Tenjin-ya, an Onigami respected by many Ayakashi. Even though Aoi should be wedded to him, his true intentions are currently unknown, as he watches the lady's speech and behavior. Tsubaki Aoi: College student who was whisked away against her own will in order to pay for her grandfather's debt in Tenjin-ya. Refusing Odanna-sama's marriage proposal, with her talents in cooking she manages her own Japanese restaurant, Yugao.
T/N: The volume title is a pun, it can go like "a new hire gets into an ayakashi inn" or "newly-harvested rice enters the ayakashi inn". No complaints though, but I won't spoil anything lol
Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6, Chapter 1: Autumn's Newly-harvested Rice's** Accompaniment P5 "Aoi-san! We're already at our limit!" "Gah, so far, today...." That was in the last days of September in Yugao. I, Tsubaki Aoi, scrunching my face in vexation, took a peep in the refrigerator with hardly any ingredients left. Confronting and attacking the food rations altogether, it seems that they're now all gone. I wonder if in today's opening, will the incoming guests ever cease?
Lately, Yugao's business has been spectacular all over, it has been a very, very busy time. On days when there are so many customers, when the ingredients are all used up midway, the restaurant has to close shop early, and while we're preparing so many ingredients before reopening again, on those days that we have to regulate incoming customers, not many come in and the restaurant becomes bare of people, controlling the number of incoming guests is difficult. I wonder what I'll do if it's just me doing everything inside the restaurant, and I feel like I'm already at my limit... "That matter at Orio-ya, the thing about the ceremony and all the different things have been dramatized and turned upside-down in so many ways, it has become Kakuriyo's hot topic. Aoi-san has become something that livened-up the world, and Ayakashi have been interested and drawn to you, haven't they? Even Yugao has become famous..."
T/N: It's frustrating to translate the term for newly-harvested rice. Coming from a rice-eating culture like Japan and the rest of Asia, it's easy to categorize all stages of rice because there are words that exist for that. Like they say, languages are shaped by the needs of the users. Unfortunately, English has none of those so yeah, from here on end I'll be using the term newly-harvested rice here because to be honest, it tastes a lot better than rice stocked for a long time. That one tastes dry and bland even when cooked, while newly-harvested rice smells fragrant, has a soft texture, and just doesn't taste moldy lol
P6 While on a short break from cleaning up and arranging the place after business hours, Ginji-san and I were eating dried persimmons given to us by a customer as we sat on the counters while sipping tea. "Ginji-san, you were keenly saying that, but I wasn't intending on making a ruckus in Kakuriyo." "Yes, I understand. Ayakashi have been noticing, in their own ways... Thanks to Yugao, our business is booming!" Ginji-san's tired face turned and changed into a very happy one, meanwhile I was getting anxious. As someone who is burdened with a debt I am happy that the restaurant is flourishing, even though the place is getting better overall, there are many hindrances coming out with regards to cooking, and in spite of our efforts, I still feel bad for the customers that come in. Ah, but unrelated to that, this dried persimmon tastes really good. It's center is soft and moist, and sweet, yet a faint aftertaste of the puckery seed still remains, but I love that taste. Even if the people that I hated then are that much, a lot of Grandpa's treasured food makes me yearn for the good old days. "Very soon, Yugao will need to hire new employees, don't you think so?" "New employees? Really? Well, if it's just Ginji-san and I, it's already impossible..." I agreed with Ginji-san's suggestion. Ever since we opened, the two of us had been giving our all. To put it in words, we need someone other than Ginji-san to be designated with a job post. All the more that I think Yugao needs a new staff. "Since it seems that Aoi-san is concentrating on making the dishes, you might want the new staff to bear the task of receiving guests. P7 Would you like to try putting up a "Now Hiring" sign in Tenjin-ya's announcement board?" "I wonder who would come to apply?" What kind of brand-new staff will we hire? "Aoi-sama, you're cruel!" Instantly, from the pendant that contains ogre-fire, popped out Ai-chan. She looks like me, but her cheeks were swelling with annoyance. "Why, you call me your family, and at the same time hire me as your employee! If that's the case, tell me what to do!" "Well now, Ai-chan is very eager to work?" "You haven't spoken to me in a very long time..." Is that so? I tried to recall. When I called Ai-chan out to learn about the basics of cooking, that time she went out and played with Chibi. I think Ai-chan is still an Ayakashi child, and she still haven't got the idea on what it means to be an employee. "But Ai-chan, if you feel sleepy, you can't return to the pendant. Also, on top of that, it would be weird when there's two of us working here at Yugao..." Ginji-san looked at Ai-chan and I. P8 I wonder what he thinks of us having similar faces. "Oh, that, uhm... Aoi-san is most concerned about Ai-chan, and it is that you would want to work, but I think it's surely awkward when there is someone that looks like Aoi-san, won't it?" "Wh.. Why is that...? Young master-sama, I want to work too..." Ai-chan begged earnestly to Ginji-san with her teary eyes. My face tells it all, and Ginji-san also sees that it can turn into a crazy situation, and we stuttered. "Uhm, that's... That is..." Her eyes started swimming in tears. "But we could cause confusion with the customers. They'll think Ai-chan is me, and I am Ai-chan..." "I'm definitely sure that can happen... This is not related to Yugao's business operations, but it's possible that I can swap places with a family who looks like me, but really you are a precious being. With that, won't it be better to hide?" "Really?" "Yes... If my look-alike and I were both working in here, we may have a trump card,but evil people may take advantage of that too. Because of that, Ai-chan who can do things must hide in her favorite place..." Ginji-san glimpsed at teary-eyed Ai-chan who was biting her lower lip like a child and scratching her forehead. P9 "In order for Ai-chan to work in this restaurant, there are two conditions, OK? One, when you're in duty, you can't go to sleep. The other is that you have to change your appearance into someone else's." "Someone else's appearance..." Ai-chan and I huddled and titled our heads. The thing about not sleeping is reasonable and understandable. "About that, how do I change into someone else?" "I'm sorry. That's something that you must learn on your own. Be original, OK?" "O..ri...gi..nal..?" It seems that Ai-chan doesn't understand what that means. "Well, let's see. Let's use Tokihiko-san from Orio-ya as an example.** In the beginning, that person was just made up of many little Youkai flames**, but right now he can't change into anything else, he can only change into the shape he already has. If you change your appearance into someone else, if you change it to look like me, that's a whole different level, but Ai-chan is still a child, I wonder if she can understand?" But Ai-chan yells "I'll do it!" and raises her hand in proclamation. "I'll do my best in making my own appearance!" "Wooooowwww..." Ginji-san and I lightly clapped our hands for Ai-chan who was in high spirits.
T/N: In Volume 3, where Shizuna and Tokihiko meet again, like the episodes before the Orio-ya arc, it was briefly explained that ayakashi are formed from objects, when the consciousness enters the objects and make them sentient. I’ll probably translate that once I finished volumes 6-10, or maybe not. P10 "But because it's sleepy-time, I'll go back to the pendant!" "Whaaat." She immediately returned into ogre-fire, and Ai-chan hid back into the pendant in my bosom. The pendant's flickering light makes it seem like Ai-chan was sleeping and snoozing peacefully inside. "She seems serious, about the whole 'What appearance should I make' thing." "As soon as she wanted to slep, she already entered a new period of growth. In just a short time, I think she's already like an Ayakashi that stays awake late at night... It's because Ayakashi by nature don't sleep that much." "It's not like that, it's just that employes and everyone else just have short sleeping schedules. It's toxic**, it's something I thought of, but it's not really like that..." "No, it's not something like that. It's because Tenjin-ya also considerably receives nice wholesome** citizens of Kakuriyo. And that is why it's always very busy." "What, wait, doesn't that make it mixed**?" Well, whatever, I only sleep 10 minutes everyday, and even though it's a rest day tomorrow, it's not a problem for me. And for sure, when that busy day comes, I'd be very happy to receive Ai-chan's help. Whatever that child's appearance would make, I'll be looking forward to it.
T/N: the original words used were BLACK, WHITE, and GRAY. Black is considered to be the dark side of things aka toxic workplaces, White is the usual nice and wholesome facade, and the Gray was just inserted to complete the pun because in color theory thingy, BLACK+WHITE=GRAY. But that's just me lol You have been warned that this light novel uses a lot of puns P11 "Aoi--- Fooooood---" "Oh, that person's here." That person, is that Yuki-onna. Always, after Yugao's business hours, it's always the same, she always comes, the former Young Mistress but is now the waitress O-ryo. "Now's not a good time, O-ryo. There's none already." "Waaait, again? No rice? Even the rice is gone too?" "Even if I cook the rice, that's just it. Tomorrow is Yugao's rest day, and there aren't any excess ingredients here." "Then as long as there's rice that can be cooked, it's fine. I really love rice. Newly-harvested rice** is the most delicious, isn't it?" If that's the case, then there's nothing else to eat here, Ginji-san and I whispered to each other. But O-ryo just invited herself in the counters, and I had no choice but to stand up and start preparing to cook the rice. Just as O-ryo said, it's already the season of delicious rice. Especially in the land of Ogre's Gate, the rice brand "Onihonoka" is a famous specialty and souvenir, harvested either in the last days of August to the first days of September, polished immediately after harvest and is now back in the market. P12 But, if we use newly-harvested rice here in Yugao, it's distinct grains that contain a lot of moisture can really rake in the positive points. When cooking rice it is common that the little water added will decrease as it cooks, and it tastes all the more better. I wonder if O-ryo can wait for 30 minutes as the rice gets soaked.** "Wait, O-ryo sama!" The next one who came in was that horse chestnut girl, with her signature Tanuki ears and the round, fluffy tail. It was Tenjin-ya's lower-ranking waitress, Kasuga. "We thought we lost the bottle opener at the banquet hall. O-ryo sama, when your duties ended you immediately went to Yugao, and our new-hired waiters and waitresses had to search here and there. I was about to do some deliveries but I had to take charge of our newbies." "Oh, really? Kasuga, why didn't you just remember to let your juniors do it?" "But it's O-ryo sama's fault. All of the juniors and everyone has been doing their best here." "Oh, fine, there, there. Kasuga, you're also giving it your all, OK?" Whether it's because she's tired or she just deemed the answer was acceptable and ran away with it, Kasuga just allowed O-ryo to roughly pat her head. And when the bottle opener that had a bell made out of ice was produced, Kasuga immediately stuck it inside her obi. When the bell chimed, a clear tinkling sound echoed. "Isn't that ice bell lovely?"
T/N: Hot tip, if you're cooking rice, not the instant kind, if you want a less fussy method just soak it for at least 30 minutes before boiling it, it makes it cook faster, especially when the rice is long-grain, brown or colored rice, or the dry grained ones that are better for fried rice because the grains don't stick together. P13 "Yes. I won't give it to you, Kasuga." "I don't have a need for it, and for that reason it's not an important conversation." Kasuga sighed with a dumbfounded expression. In this situation I don't know who's the senior and who's the underling. "Oh, by the way, Young Master-sama, Odanna-sama calls for you." "Wah, is that so, Kasuga-san? Oh, it's probably the matter about the Autumn Festival. Aoi-san, I have to go to the main building for a bit, ok?" "Yes, thank you for your hard work, Ginji-san." Ginji-san's head bobbed as he bowed, and with a quick pace left Yugao. "Kasuga, even today you were asked to do a lot of things here and there, weren't you?" "Yeah, that's true. Everyone was telling me to go here and run over there. Oh well, I'll get used to it somehow." Kasuga meekly and quietly sat beside were O-ryo was sitting. Did this girl also went here to eat some newly-harvested rice? "Aoi--- Is it done? I'm hungry-- Isn't Kakuriyo's pot cooking fast enough?" "Whaaat. Please wait a bit more, O-ryo. Because it's newly-harvested rice, I only had it soaked for a bit." "Ehhh... That's already fine. Whether it gets cooked or not, because I'm hungry." P14 I wanted to choose the best way to cook the newly-harvested rice, so I could relish its delicious taste, but I wonder if I just lost to O-ryo's explanation just like this while the rice was cooking. She seems to be already at the limit of her patience, and she started to violently beat the counters. "Aoi--- Aoi--- Rice! Let me eat rice!" "Hold it there, big woman baby! Stop beating the counters, or else it will fall apart." My table.. Really, O-ryo can really be so selfish... "Yo, is there any grub to eat?" Akatsuki, like the usual routine, came here. O-ryo, Kasuga, and Akatsuki, repeatedly always come here, and were becoming "Give me food, give me food" Ayakashi. "I'm sorry Akatsuki, today there's nothing left. O-ryo said she's fine with just white rice, and that's what I'm cooking right now." "I'm also fine with just rice. Do you have any pickles?" Akatsuki sat beside the counter where Kasuga was, where two people were already sitting at. It has always been like this. "Wherever rice is offered as if for the gods, there's always a line on the counters. One way or another, Ayakashi love rice, don't they?" Finally, the rice on the stove has cooked. Kakuriyo's pots only need five minutes to cook rice, and it's really very convenient. P15 "Akatsuki, you haven't used up your salary and vacation leaves this year, haven't you? You don't have a girlfriend, and you give me the impression that working is your hobby. You're that kind of guy, aren't you?" While doing nothing on an empty stomach, O-ryo started bickering with Akatsuki, who was beyond Kasuga's seat. Even thought it's not nice, O-ryo toys Akatsuki a lot, who was younger than her. Akatsuki's face spells like "Shut up, you're noisy" whenever he's tired after work. "It's better to think about frolicking and having fun, Akatsuki. It's a waste, no matter how much you work, being a guy who looks angry and has no excess time to have some time to have fun." "Stop talking to me already, O-ryo." "Whaaat. How conceited. I'm the senior and you're the junior. I'm older than you and you're younger than me." "And so? You dropped being in the management staff and now you're a waitress. Between being a head clerk and a waitress, I'm higher-ranked." "Arrrghh, this guy is so UN-ADORABLE!" "O-ryo sama, you're noisy!" O-ryo's shrill voice spreads out, and Akatsuki and Kasuga both covered their ears. I opened Yugao's kitchen's refrigerator as I pinched my small ears shut. There wasn't any ingredients left to make side dishes, so I just took the rice out and served it. As I was doing this, I was laughing by myself. Hee hee hee.. "I could hear Aoi-chan letting out a weird laugh." P16 "What meals are she thinking of, at this point?" "Aoi is indeed an Ayakashi that cooks and cooks, isn't she?" Until now, O-ryo, Kasuga and Akatsuki were all whispering and back-biting me. But that's what I felt. After waiting, the newly-harvest rice that we have been waiting for has been cooked. After the boiled rice was done, I opened the lid and a foggy yet aromatic steam was released, and my stomach started to grumble on its own. As I stirred the freshly-cooked rice, I divided it and placed some on the rice tub. Using a wooden rice paddle I tried checking its texture and taste, it was springy, and its sweetness was enjoyable. "OK, there's a lot of rice, so please just eat however you like." In the restaurant's table where the rice tub was placed, in Akatsuki and Kasuga's usual rice bowls, and in O-ryo's favorite and sometimes variable larger bowl, I served them the white rice. I piled a lot of it. Each grain was puffy and glossy, which is due to the rice's freshness. "Yay! Let's eat!" O-ryo speedily and hungrily ate the rice, as she was holding her bowl and chopsticks. Hmph, O-ryo just quieted down right now. "Kasuga, Akatsuki, aren't you two hungry too? Start eating up." P17 "Ehhhrm.... It's hard to eat like O-ryo with just the white rice..." "Aren't there any pickled food, Aoi-chan?" "Tsk, tsk, how about if I place this here?" I placed a jar in between Kasuga and Akatsuki's counters. At first, they just stared at it in bewilderment, but carefully examined the jar's contents. Kasuga seemed to immediately get what it was. "Oh, I know it! It's nametake, enoki mushrooms!" "Yes, I made it from all of the mushrooms collected this Autumn, and I placed a lot of it. I goes great with white rice. I added it to our Autumn's daily specials." As soon as I opened the jar's lid, and scooped the nametake with a wooden spoon, I placed a lot on top of their rice in the two rice bowls. The brown mushrooms were flowing and melting and moist due to being boiled down. Enoki, shimeji, shiitake, these were all seasoned with the mild soy sauce that Ayakashi love. Sugar, mirin, sake and other seasonings were also added as staples, and in my case, there's also a bit of vinegar and some spicy peppers. These were added to give a hint of spiciness and sourness to the mild flavor. To make excellent preserved food, cold tofu, boiled down greens using dashi stock and others can be added and turned into one dish. While the nametake is mixed in with the piping hot rice, Kasuga and Akatsuki heartily wolfed down their food. "Wow... This meal is filling in my empty stomach.." P18 "This is delicious!" The enoki makes a crispy and appetizing sound. O-ryo, who was growing tired of the white rice, and seems to have noticed the nametake that Kasuga and Akatsuki were eating, started staring at it with longing eyes. "O-ryo, if you want to eat some nametake, please have some too." What the.. I have barely finished talking and O-ryo already stole the nametake jar. "Wah, it's my rice's buddy!" "O-ryo sama, it's greedy of you to take it for yourself!" "Kasuga, Akatsuki, don't worry, there are other partners for your rice." The poor things, but because there were other food that pair up well with rice, I brought them out. Toppings such as pickled plums, ground meat mixed with miso and lotus root, daikon pickled in vinegar with kelp, I brought out various preserved dishes too. Because rice goes well with many daily staples, many others were served on the side. "I am pushing this powerful medicine. I stir-fried some Hijiki seaweed that still has its water, along with the gritty and crisp pickled plum with some dashi stock. It really goes well with rice." Deprived of the nametake, Akatsuki tried adding the plum and seaweed mix as a rice topping. The crunchy texture and sourness of the plum, and the strong umami taste of the seaweed was incorporated, and this was a very luxurious and delightful taste. It doesn't need any other side dish, this makes it a full and satisfying topping. P19 When making onigiri, it can be added to the rice. It's excellent for emergencies. After experimenting with both the kelp and vinegar-pickled daikon as well as the meat mixed with miso and lotus root, O-ryo started eyeing at everything again, and I placed some little by little in the saucer that she was using. It' s great that she gets to enjoy a wide variety to pair up with her rice. It's exciting to think like what could be the next one you'll taste, with each bite. Once in a while, it's nice to just enjoy and relish the taste of the newly-harvested rice. After a while, I decided to eat some rice, and went back to the kitchen to get the rice bowl I normally use. "Ah, I just remembered something!" That's it. There were still two slices left in the refrigerator for the staff's breakfast. Autumn salmon. If I defrost that, I can make another rice pair-up! "Hee hee hee. A staple rice accompaniment: salmon flakes!"** I defrosted the salmon slice on the dish with Yokai fire, flayed the skin off, and lightly seared the surface on a frying pan, added salt, dashi, mirin, sake and other seasonings then heated this on a low flame. Sauteing this with a wooden spatula while adding some water to soften it, it's all what I need to do. Hee hee hee... "That Aoi-chan is laughing in the kitchen again..." "It smells like fish being cooked..." "Hold up, Aoi! Why are you cooking fish just for yourself? My nose isn't deceiving me!" T/N: I actually do this with meat, tofu, fish or whatever I add to vegetable dishes to make them more tasty. In Japan, they call this ground meat, fish or tofu that is seasoned and sauted as "Flake". You can just prepare a large batch, and use them as needed. I guess all those hours watching Tokuson Life Hacks also helped a lot lol P20 "Don't worry Kasuga, Akatsuki, O-ryo. Everyone's going to eat what I'm making." That said, it's my last serving. Reduce the water, when the flesh has fallen apart, add white sesame seeds and sesame oil, and lightly saute it. It's really easy. The home-made salmon flake is done. "It 's done! It's done! From kids to adults, everyone will love it, the best to be paired with rice, salmon flakes! Loose salmon topping, is it easy to understand?" "Ohhh..." "That smells really good!" As soon as I brought this in front of them, O-ryo and Akatsuki's voices just sounded with admiration. Since their bowls were already devoid of rice, they both wanted to fill their bowls with another serving. But they started fighting on who should be going to get more rice to add in the rice tub, and Kasuga went up and took the rice tub on her own to refill it. She's really the most adult in this bunch. "Ahhh, I can finally eat some rice too!" Thereafter, I placed some hot, piping rice on my bowl and I could finally eat my supper. For the first time, we're going to partake the crumbly salmon flakes that I made. I can use that for onigiri, and it's going to be a favorite item in bento boxes. P21 We can do the bottling, the marketing, and the selling, as our products are really delicious, but it seems that I'll have to make it and do it all by myself. Slicing, adding water, seasoning.. I'll do it how I like it. The glossy and clean rice due to it being freshly-harvested, when you add the shiny and reddish-brown color of the salmon flakes, eating it with a spoon just makes you gobble it all up. Ah, the autumn's salmon is really tasty and fatty. When mixed and used as rice topping, in one bite the umami and saltiness goes well with the mild, sweetness of the rice. Adding the white sesame and sesame oil's fragrances, the salmon's taste, flavor and aroma improves. "Wah, this tastes so delicious, I wanna have a bowlful more.." "O-ryo sama, if you eat more than that, you'll get fat. But I want a bowlful more too..." "I knew it, it's the autumn salmon. It really pairs well with the rice." It looks like everyone got satisfied with the salmon flakes. Oh no, this is bad. We have quickly eaten the rice... We took in so much carbs..." Even the meat mixed with miso and lotus root, the miso-flavored meat and the crunchy texture of the lotus root, really, really goes well with rice too. When you want to cleanse the palate, munching on the vinegar and kelp-pickled daikon is a fitting and refreshing break. "Aoi-dono!" Sasuke-kun, the O-niwaban guard has come here to Yugao. P22 Sasuke-kun was holding a bamboo straining basket, in his usual ninja-style. And, well, inside that basket were fresh red eggs. "These are the cassowary eggs that I have gathered tonight. The Master and Young Master sent me here to deliver these to you with my life, as it is a pity that there is only white rice to eat. You can now make egg-topped rice**." I bumped into him while running. That was the ultimate, crowning, and appropriate pairing to the rice. This is awesome! TKG has arrived here!** "Wah, I'll eat another bowlful more---" "Hey, that's unfair of you, O-ryo. Me too!" "Me too. It's because eggs are also served now." In the middle of the night, the Ayakashi were eating white rice in reckless abandon. "Please, I would like to fill my stomach with a bowlful of rice." "Yes, Sasuke-kun, please come have some." Anyone can't hide their excitement with egg-topped rice. Hollowing top of the hot, piping rice, when the shell is cracked open, the lovely raw egg is dropped in here. The cassowary's rich egg yolk's color, its shine, its jelly-like appearance, when it covers the rice, it has an irresistable charm. T/N: If you're going to try this, just a reminder that bacteria like Salmonella can contaminate the egg. Only do this with super-fresh eggs from a seller you trust because getting sick isn't worth it. TKG is basically tamago-kake-gohan, or how I wrote it here, egg-topped rice. P23 Ah, just looking at it, I know it's definitely delicious. "For sure, with egg-topped rice, it's Kakuriyo's mild soy sauce, isn't it?" I wanted a simple approach. "Soy sauce is good, but adding a little sesame oil is also delicious." As expected of O-ryo, who is in the majority group. "As a minority, I like mine to have noodle soup base and wasabi." From my peripheral vision I could see Akatsuki grumbling. But that seems to be delicious too. "I always eat it with ponzu. If there's dried bonito flakes and fried onions I'll add those too." For some reason, this was expected of Kasuga. "If there are seasonings, I'll add them." Sasuke-kun is too gallant. "Ok, ok, you can eat your differing favorites, that's good." Everyone's demands were heard, and I took various seasonings and flavorings and placed these at the center of the table. I, nonetheless the simpleton just added a bit of soy sauce over the yolk, and lightly broke it, mixing it with my chopsticks. In that moment, I felt a wonderful, happy feeling. Probably, just adding the egg, I haven't even finished mixing the runny egg in, I already took a bite. "Wahhh, taking the first bite of egg-topped rice is really something, isn't it?" P24 The rich flavor of the egg yolk makes it the best and enjoyable. After relishing the first bite, I completely mixed everything, and ate some more. "Hey, everyone, the meat with miso and lotus root also goes well with the egg-topped rice." Everyone noticed the previously-ignored meat with miso after Kasuga's discovery. Wah, it really does taste well together. This is a great discovery! Egg-topped rice is awesome! Just by itself is delicious, but arranging and adding flavors for variation, it's going to be an awesome feast. "It looks like you are all having fun." "Oh, Odanna-sama." Odanna-sama and Ginji-san came to Yugao together. O-ryo and Kasuga, Akatsuki and Sasuke-kun, who were all until now eating like as if in a stupor, all suddenly stopped and stood up, and deeply bowed to Odanna-sama. "It's alright, continue eating. Those are rare eggs." As if waiting for those words, everyone sat down again and continued eating. "Well, what's up? It's been a long time since you came here. Did both of you came here for some egg-topped rice? If that's the case, we have a lot right now." "No, it's not that, a while ago we welcomed some guests and we sat for a bit and already had our meals." P25 "I also may have drank a bit too much... That liquor was a tad strong.. Uhm.. I will eat some later, ok?" Both Ginji-san and Odanna-sama were definitely tipsy, somewhat. If they received some guests during work, why were they suddenly here? While in the middle of his rapid and nonchalant talking, is he going to suggest something? "Aoi, isn't Yugao on a break tomorrow? If you're free, let's go out on a date." "What?" In an instant. I realized that everyone who was continuing their eating all stopped their chopsticks. The Odanna-sama in question, who was really in a giddy mood continued smiling. "Aoi hasn't had a rest and had always been working hard even after returning from the Orio-ya matter. And I apologize for not taking the time too, for a long while. As a new wife, Aoi has not experienced any hour of fun at all." "It's fine, I have fun every day..." "That's it! Let's go to an orchard park. We can prepare food with apples and grapes, how's that?" While my face holds desperation, somehow Odanna-sama firmly grips my shoulder. "How's that" he says. "Apples and grapes, huh..." Pointing my finger to my chin, an idea popped into my head. For sure, there will be delicious autumn fruits. P26 "OK, let's go, Odanna-sama. I am interested in the orchard park." "I'm happy to hear you say that, Aoi!" With a sigh of relief, Odanna-sama wiped the sweat on his brow. The crowd of egg-topping eaters behind me, once again started moving their chopsticks. "Aoi-san, the orchard park is inside a mountain that connects the northern and north-eastern lands. The autumn leaves in that mountain change early, and I already heard that they're already in full display, so I hope that you can also enjoy the scenery tomorrow." "Ginji-san, you're not coming too?" "Me? I, uhm..." "You also haven't taken a break since the matter with Orio-ya, you should really take a break. Won't you come with us tomorrow?" Odanna-sama invited him, but Ginji-san looked at both Odanna-sama and I, and with a small smile shook his head. "No, thank you. I think I will take care of Tenjin-ya in Odanna-sama and Aoi-san's absence." I think it's the usual Ginji-san answer, but in that time, he wasn't looking at me.
End of Chapter 1, Volume 6. Next - Chapter 2
References:
Wonderful site for the youkai references
Other stuff I used to do this: Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Dictionary (you can buy here, I’m not sponsored btw). I was about to buy the older edition but then the newer one came out 2013 so I bought that instead. Worth buying since I was able to find nearly all of the words I needed just by stroke pattern alone.
Merriam-Webster's Japanese-English Dictionary (the red-covered 1996 version is apparently out of print right now). This is what I have been using for a very long time, I bought it when I was still a fetus (yes I am old so what lol), and after so many years, when compared to newer editions, I still prefer this one since its entirety is Japanese-English, the English to Japanese gloss are just 16 pages tops, so you get more Japanese words for your buck. But that’s just my opinion, maybe other people prefer the Jap-En x En-Jap IDEK.
Basic online dictionary, Jisho. Knowledge of verb conjugations and other words are necessary since not all have entries.
If you can read Japanese, you can buy the whole set in Amazon Japan, they’re shipping worldwide now, I think.
#kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel#kakuriyo no yadomeshi fan translation#kakuriyo no yadomeshi english fan translation#kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6#kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 chapter 1#kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel english fan translation#kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 light novel fan translation#kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 chapter 1 english fan translation#kakuriyo no yadomeshi translated
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Top Fave Fandoms
@akai-vampire tagged me in one of these fun little tag games. Thanks darlin! <3 <3 <3 I appreciate the thought!
Rules: Name your top 10 fav character from 10 different fandoms (and tag 10 people).
Most people are putting in .gifs for each fandom... but I wrote a ... well a paragraph about my experience in each fandom instead because I am feeling some deep sort of nostalgia these days and felt like reflecting... so its all under a read more tag if you are interested in my ramblings.
In order of my own discovery, and not importance!
Twilight: Team Edward. don’t @ me, it was my first fandom experience and I wrote SO MUCH fanfiction before I knew it was even a thing. I published it on DeviantART thinking I was so clever, and finding fanfic dot net was WILD. My interest in that fandom was immediately crushed dead the day after Breaking Dawn was officially released and I realized I had read better fanfiction then what cannon gave me. I never even saw the movies because my interest was just gone. *shrugs* But the re-emergence of Twilight recently is giving me life.
Teen Titans: BBRae... Then RobRae.... then RaeX.... then StarRae... then CyRae... listen.... Raven deserves all the love and attention??? Also, I was in this fandom back when the original series was being released and was in complete denial when it got canceled. And for years I was just reading fanfiction that had been completely abandoned as fanfiction authors just kinda disappeared one by one? It was like, interacting of pieces of history left behind in a void. I was still deep in the Teen Titan fandom when Teen Titans GO! Got released. So during that very very long time of zero new content, I got to re-evaluate all of my fanfiction standards and completely read most every single Teen Titan fic ever written in my thirst for more. Suddenly ships didn’t matter as much to me, I’d take anything and everything. So when Teen Titans GO! Came out, I LIKED IT AND STILL DO. I still think the years and years and years of being in the Teen Titans fandom and being pretty damn isolated from social interaction kinda ruined me for fandoms that are still alive. Social fandom interaction??? hahahahaha, whats that???
Akagami no Shirayukihime: Obiyuki... this was a complete accident and I only fell into this fandom because my fave Teen Titans fandom author was writing for it, and I was reading the fanfiction without ever seeing the show, and like, kinda loved these characters a TON??? Oh no??? Real talk, I read most of the fanfiction published by the fandom before ever actually watching the actual tv show or reading the actual manga. But the fanfiction was so good and so engaging and I was learning all about these characters through this mystery game of putting all the parts together by all the different authors??? I loved learning about these characters through the people who love them the most, and it was magical. But then that became my dirty dark secret as I was suddenly welcomed into one of the most kindest and generous online communities I have ever met??? I have nothing but absolute love for the Obiyuki fandom and family. I had never experienced that kind of community before and looking back on it I still don’t think it was real, stuff like that you can only dream of sometimes. I sat down and actually read that manga and Fiona sat with me so that I watched the tv series so that I could properly engage with them because I liked the people so much. And when life hit me square in the face and I had a complete mental breakdown in grad school, and socializing with people online would give me complete anxiety attacks... and I had to step away from it. But I still mourn loosing that, and I keep trying every so often to see if I can interact again but I fear some chapters just close, and I hold the time I had with it, and the memories from then very lovingly. I will finish those fanfictions though. Even though I have no idea what has happen in the manga anymore I want to at least finish those stories like what they deserve.
Miraculous Ladybug: Love Square. Sooo much love square. All the love square. Only the softest, gentlest, most innocent fluff to cope with the world and all my anxieties, and this stupid show gave me all of that. Plus, there was so much fanfiction to choose from that I was actually able to use tags and warnings to be able to navigate finding things that were safe and not feeling like my options were limited? It was so good to me. I also had never actually watched this show, and was only reading fanfiction of it for... honestly a full year. And when I did actually watch the first 2 seasons... I still didn’t watch the new episodes when they got released, because I much prefer watching the fandom loose their collective mind and getting to play the mystery game of what the hell happened in the show according to the little spoilers and the things people were screaming about. It was fun spectating, and putting it all together. Then reading the fix-it fanfiction and being like “whoa wait, hold up CANON DID WHAT???” ... Honestly I am pretty certain I still haven’t seen at least 10 episodes. But I know everything that happened now! Have I mentioned that I have an insane amount of anxiety of actually watching tv shows on my own? I must have company or else it will never happen. Shout out to Fiona for sitting down and watching Ladybug episodes with me while I screamed into a pillow. And for the record, I did start writing a fanfiction for this one. But I learned my lesson and decided not to post anything until it was finished so I didn’t have to live with the guilt of yet another unfinished story to my name. It was a little mermaid AU, and Adrien is the mermaid princess obviously, while Marinette is a badass pirate. It was fun to outline and write like, 3 chapters but i doubt I will ever actually finish it.
Greek Mythology: Hades/Persephone. Yoooo this is my current thing. I am living for the walking contradiction of the powerful stern Lord of the Underworld falling for a little tiny goddess of Spring... and then finding out the little tiny ray of sunshine is really a complete force of nature to be reckoned with and he just crowned her Queen of the Dead. Beautiful. Poetry. *chefs kiss* Also. I DON”T HAVE TO WATCH ANYTHING. AND ALSO. ITS AN ANCIENT STORY SO LIKE, NO SPOILERS TO NAVIGATE. lol. But honestly this is just a re-awakening of little middle school Becca who was obsessed with the Odyssey and was learning how to throw pottery so that she could actually date her pots, to help out the archaeologists in the future. (honest to god, that one of my main motivations as a little 6th grader making her first pots on wheel) And she was making these super shitty small greek pots and giving them to her English teacher because her English teacher loved the Odessey too. And then Greece had a complete economic collapse and crushed all of baby-Becca’s dreams to get to travel to Greece and see the greek pottery. And she delt with that heartbreak by pretending it didn’t matter and went and found other cool pottery to fall in love with instead. But now its back with a vengeance and once again Becca’s plans to go to Greece got destroyed by yet another economic collapse but this one is just Pandemic style. I am going to get to Greece so help me gods. And yes, I have written fanficiton for this one too, and its honestly like, pretty fleshed out and written down heavily in my notes. I just have to like, type it all out and polish it. But, we will see. I am not allowed to have nice things until I finish the stories that are already posted. :[
Hadestown: Hades and Persephone, love that made the world go round. This gets its own bullet because its a different category because its a Musical even if its also a Greek Myth. And talk about reading all the fanfiction before seeing the source material. But isn’t that the case with most Broadway musicals? LOL. But its okay, I actually went and SAW the musical for this one, and once again, Fiona joined me. I’m starting to wonder if my Fiona is just my fandom anxiety buddy. Also shout out to the Rona for canceling my plans to see it again, not once, but twice now. (I have to go back because I didn’t get to see Amber Gray perform the first time, and hello I am obsessed with Persephone she is my favorite and I really really really just need to hear Amber growl in person okay???) I do have nightmares that she has left the show for good and I will never see her perform Persephone. Like legitimately have had that nightmare multiple times this week. I am just recently trying to navigate the Hadestown fandom on tumblr and still fumbling around with that. No fanfiction for this one yet, but I am making fan-pottery so like. That counts.
Aaaaand you only get 6 fandoms because these are the only 6 that truly matter. Anything else I have been interested in has only been a passing fancy and never one of the true hyperfixations. Also if you got this far and actually read everything, well done, I am impressed. Thanks for taking interest in my ramblings. <3
If I am tagging you its cause I want to play the game, don’t feel pressured if you don’t want to play. <3
@bookloverfio @ruleofexception @wingsofgossamer @claudeng80 @puns-are-funs65 @ourladyoftheundcrground @peachdoxie
#Beccas musings#Becca rambles#Becca does a tag game#and writes a full essay instead#Have some Becca thoughts for anyone interested#I am honestly not sure who would be interested in this but hey#you never know
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Karen Page, Matt Murdock, Foggy Nelson x Reader
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Notes: I wrote this back in 2016 and never bothered to check and post it. I finally did and here it is.
Summary: Reader is part of the avengers team. One problem, her friends have no idea.
Word count: 1471
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You were looking around in the cozy little gift shop. In search for a housewarming gift for your friend Karen, who had invited you ,Foggy and Matt for dinner in her new apartment. You scratched your head and let out a sigh, not knowing what to buy. Picking presents was never your best quality. "Can I help you dear?" The elder lady that owned the shop was now standing next to you. "Yes, please. I am looking for a gift for my friend, she just moved into her new appartment and I thought I should give her something to decorate the place with." The lady smiled kindly "I see, wait here for a moment dear. I think I have something that might interest you." You nod and the lady dissapears in the room in the back of the store for a moment before she returns holding a box. She puts it on the counter and opens the box, taking out a gorgeous lamp in the shape of a flower. "Maybe your friend will like this." You smile brightly while examining the lamp. "I'm sure she will love this. I'll take it.”
After the lady wraps the lamp up, you pay and leave the store.
On your way to Karen's appartment you thought back at what happened earlier today.
Coulson had requested that you joined the avengers on a small mission. Taking down some kind of robots that had gone rogue. Piece of cake for you, considering your powers.
You were fighting your way through them easily, one of them charged at you and with a flick of your wrist the robot was hit by your powers as if it were hit by a truck, crashing into a building.
Everything was going as planned, but as you were fighting one you failed to notice another one behind you. Before you knew what was going on you felt yourself getting thrown to the ground. You struggled under it's metal claws before mjolnir slammed against the robot throwing it off of you. You quickly got on your feet and slammed your hand in it's chest ripping out it's metal heart. You pick mjolnir up and hand it back to Thor. “Thanks buddy.”
He takes the hammer back, after all this time he was still suprised that you could lift it. “You're welcome (y/n). And you lost your mask.” he pointed at your mask laying on the ground.
Damnit. You wore the mask so you could lead a normal life besides being part of the avengers. You quickly picked your mask up and putted it back on. Hoping no civilians had seen your face. You shook the thought away, who would be so close to a life threatening fight ?
You alway wore the mask, only the avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D knew who you were. Not even Karen, Matt or Foggy knew of your secret identity. They only knew you as their shy and quiet friend.
It was hard keeping it a secret for your friends. But you knew telling them would put them in possible danger.
You arrive at the appartment and knock on the door. You quickly wiped some blood away that had dripped from one of the small cuts on your arm. Karen opened the door a wide smile on her face.
“ (y/n) !!! I’m so glad you could make it.” she gave you a bear hug.
“ Of course I came. And I brought you something to help lighten up the place.” You grinned at your own pun.
Karen raised an eyebrow at you “It’s a lamp isn’t it ?”
You nodded with a silly grin on your face.
“Awesome. Come inside Foggy and Matt are already here. They are watching some program about law, pretending to be the lawyers.”
“Oh god.” You followed Karen inside and saw Matt and Foggy sitting in front of the tv.
You looked around you and saw that the apartment was small but very comfy. “Take a seat (y/n). I’ll be back with some snacks in a second.” Karen says and walks into the kitchen.
You take a seat in the small couch next to the big one were Matt and Foggy are sitting.
“Hey (y/n) ! Glad you could make it ! Now you can see me beat Matt in this courtcase.” Foggy pats you on the shoulder.
“ Hi (y/n).” Matt says “ And I’m winning this one Foggy.” Matt says and you all chuckle.
“Alright guys ! Shut that thing off. It’s time to celebrate not work.”.
“Karen’s right, Foggy.” Matt says.
“Alright fine. I’ll shut it off.” Foggy grabs the remote but instead of turning off the TV he accidently switches the channel.
“Oops, my bad.” Foggy studies the remote for a moment trying to locate the off button.
“Hey wait! Look there’s been another attack not far from here!” karen suddenly exclaims.
Your attention quickly snapped back to the TV screen, as did Matt and Foggy’s.
Oh no, it couldn’t be ? Or could it ?
A newsreporter stands in a spot that you reconize, the one were you had been fighting the robots with the others of the team.
“I am now standing right in front of were the attack is taking place. The man who is known as Thor is fighting off what appears to be robots. We will now try to take a closer look.” The newsreporter says.
You can feel your body tense up, you think about trying to convince your friends to turn the Tv off but if the people of Hell’s Kitchen are watching the news as well it would only be a matter of time until they found out the truth. All you could do is hope that they did not see your mask fall off.
“We are now closer to the scene, there seem to be others fighting as well. One of them has a sort of inhuman strength.”. You could see that the reporter was talking about you.
And than the camera zooms in on you using your powers to throw a robot into a wall. Followed by you being attacked and losing your mask. The camera turns away quickly at that and back to the reporter but it was to late. They saw.
You hear glass shattering “Oh my god…” Karen
Karen had dropped the plate she was holding, followed by a silence that filled the room.
“Uhm guys, what’s going on ?” Matt finally says.
Foggy looks at you for a second, than back to the screen. “(y/n).. you don’t happen to have a secret twin that you know of ? ”.
You look at your hands, trying to control your nerves.
“Foggy, what are you talking about ?” matt looks confused
“(y/n) was just on the news.. I..she just ..” karen shakes her head.
“What Karen is trying to say is that (y/n) beat up a bunch of robots this morning while casually hanging out with the god of thunder. And they are now showing it on the news.” Foggy explained.
Matt shook his head “What? That.. you guys must be mistaken. Right, (y/n)?”. You felt your heart race, trying to find a good excuse. But how long could you keep up with lying to your friends ?.
You took a deep breath.
“Listen, I know this must be a shock to you guys. And this isn’t how I wanted you to find out. It is true. I am a part of the Avengers team. And yes, I have powers.”
“Wait, wait ,wait. Do you mean THE Avengers ? As in flying metal suit guy and that ninja lady?” Foggy’s eyes were wide and full of disbelieve.
You nodded. “Yup, that is correct.”.
“So.. what exactly are your powers? Are you like.. really strong.?” Matt asked.
Karen took a step closer “ Can you show us ?” her voice excited.
You couldn’t help but smile at their sudden enthousiasm.
“Uhm, sure.” You leaned forward and grabbed Matt’s hand, it would be easier to make it clear to him too considering he can’t see.
“Don’t worry. This won’t hurt.” Matt nodded and you placed one of your hands under his and your other head above them. You concentrated a moment and slowly a small flame formed and you made it grow about the size of a football. Your friend’s mouths dropped open as they saw and felt what you were doing.
“That is a very usefull power to keep your hands warm during the winter.” Matt grinned.
You spend the entire night showing of your powers to your friends and talking about all the villians you took down. Being happy that you finally told them about who you were.
#daredevil#karen page#daredevil x reader#foggy nelson#matt murdock x reader#fanfic reader#daredevil imagine
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August 23rd, 2018 CTP Archive
The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on August 23rd, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Pathways: Chronicles of Tuvana by Elaine Tipping.
Featured Comment:
Chat:
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
COMIC TEA PARTY START!
Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing Pathways: Chronicles of Tuvana by Elaine Tipping~! (http://pathways.smackjeeves.com/) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question for participants to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer! If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comic~! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!
QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?
snuffysam
the most recent couple pages are my favorite
"help me!" hides under cape
Kabocha
Ufufufu. Actually I'm really enjoying the current scene and chapter with Atawn trying to escape. Both he and this guard are in for an adventure... Also, the guard is such a good egg. I hope we find out their name soon.
Respheal
The guard is a good friend
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
yeah i loved the cape thing. mostly cause i appreciate any cape that is big enough to hide a whole person
Respheal
I liked finding the people in the cave because that was the first bit where I was really like "Go on....-scoots forward in seat-"
Kabocha
The stakes are super high, too. Like, I'm already super into the adorable scholar character type, so I want to protect him. I'm a little bit surprised how quickly things escalated. (Well, not really)
YES
I wonder what the deal is
http://pathways.smackjeeves.com/comics/2595217/pathways-58/ We know they're considered Gods now, but it's like. ........ All right, so....... how doomed is everyone, and how many survivors are there going to be out of the researchers, not counting Atawn
snuffysam
doomed from the gods or doomed from getting their camps burned?
Kabocha
It's DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM Does it really matter? I mean, Zealots are gonna zealot....
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
unless the zealots arent zealoting and just know more and are trying to save everyone from the scourge that is their spooky gods
TriaElf9
Eee I'm glad people like the cape bit, I'm so happy we hit it before this chat happened ^_^
🎵Tenor🎶
IDK if ill be back in time but wanted to say I love the story and art and I have so many speculations. Love its presentation and eager 4 more
Kabocha
@✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨ ...Good point. That would be a twist XD
"OUR GODS ARE AWFUL, WE WANTED THEM TO REMAIN BURIED AND DEAD"
snuffysam
"nobody leaves" sounds like a fun way to save people
as does setting their tents on fire
Respheal
My first impression is that the Akarna aren't awful? I didn't get that sorta vibe from them.....in what little we've seen
But yeah, zealots gonna zealot
Kabocha
What types of gods command you to light things on fire?!
The best ones
.......or the worst ones, if they're living things
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
well tbf they couldve lit the tents on fire while the scholars were inside
legit that is what i expected when atawn turned the corner
to just have on fire ppl everywhere
>_>
Respheal
Hahaha kinda x'D
That woulda been baaaaaaaaaaad
As if the situation isn't bad enough as it is
Kabocha
you mean they're not planning to do that now?
I mean, they realized Atawn escaped, if he gets caught, he's SUPER dead
and so is the guard, I'm sure
Respheal
.....probably
They certainly don't want this info leaving
Kabocha
Yeahhhhhhh
Respheal
Makes me wonder if they have some more "humane" way of not letting the information leave
Since clearly the books aren't leaving this camp
(Mind wiping? I dunno lol)
Kabocha
What is the magic like in this world, I wonder :3
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i think they mentioned they were gonna lock them up
so just eternal prison
forever
Respheal
Oh
Kabocha
They're going to get tired of feeding them at some point
TriaElf9
Yeah I will note, that big tent was the main research tent, so essentially they burnt all the information that'd been collected
And yeah, they have indeed started the clock on that, where it leads, we'll have to see ^_-
Kabocha
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
TriaElf9
TELL ME ABOUT IT it's very hard to not just blurt it all out AHHHH
Respheal
x'D
It was smart to tell Atawn to just memorize everything though
Kabocha
I'm not at the point in the comic where I can start spouting conspiracy theories. I MUST KNOW MORE
Respheal
Good bit of foresight there
Kabocha
or am I
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
plot twist: everyone just goes home and lives happily ever after, no deaths. and the bad guys pay for the damages.
TriaElf9
I want to know the theories!!
AHAHAH perfect, it's just festivals and parties until the end
Respheal
All I know is I'm in the "An Akarna person joins the party" party
Kabocha
Ahahahaha
The Guard's actually a spy
Respheal
Wakey, wakey, Akarna person, you've overslept by like a thousand years
Kabocha
He's infiltrated the Mikarna, and is looking to get information out about their gods, and the TRUTH about the Akarna's sudden disappearance
The truth being they have a secret magitek that was sealed away -- because they threatened the world. The other countries engaged in a war with them resulting in a pyrrhic victory... and forcing the Akarna underground for millenia...
.................................And they all had cake
TriaElf9
mmmm cake
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
well at least cake denotes a happy ending O_O
Kabocha
That's the terrible Magitek secret the Akarna had. A killer cake recipe.
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
the one cake to rule them all
snuffysam
there's a reason they call it death by chocolate
Kabocha
GASP
TriaElf9
AHAH ^_^
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
aside from the guards since were still on favorite scene i want to mention i really enjoyed the festival montage. it was nice seeing all the activities, and i think the fireworks at the end really tied it all together with some beautiful imagery
Kabocha
A shame they're going to soon be embroiled in an international incident
TriaElf9
Aww, yay! ^_^
eheh
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
well we have to have calm before the storm O_O so ill take what calm i can get
Kabocha
I'm sure there'll be plenty of nice, calm moments
TriaElf9
I actually drew all that after having gone through festival season here, as well as a fireworks festival, so I had a lot of places to draw from for inspiration ^_^
Kabocha
enough for us to get attached to all of the adorable characters
Awww
TriaElf9
OH yes, I want to show the world through down-time as well as the AHHH time ^_^ it can't all be AHHHH or we'd get tired
Kabocha
YES
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i also wanna say i really love that one doublepage where you see the crowd and the wall. i really love that huge sense of scale that makes you go "dang those walls are some marvel of architecture."
Kabocha
The color illustrations for pathways are a treat, too
http://pathways.smackjeeves.com/comics/2534068/chapter-2-the-dig/ Like, even though this is based in what could be a very brown landscape, the reds and greens add such a nice warmth to it, and the cool blues for shading are just pleasant
TriaElf9
Fun fact, that city is actually the smallest of the main cities in Tuvana ^_-
And I'm glad that page came out well, it took foreeeveerrrrrrr
Kabocha
http://pathways.smackjeeves.com/comics/2622607/chpt-3-attack-on-the-camp/ ...To be honest, it took everything in me not to start throwing fire puns when this page came out
Respheal
Do it
Unleash the puns
Kabocha
It's so serious in context, I can't help but make fire jokes
TriaElf9
I love how it was all "yeah, I'm gonna start this comic, it'll be great! I'll just start with....a massive festival... with thousands of people WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i demand fire puns
Respheal
They are both very nice cover pages
Ha! xD
TriaElf9
omh puns are the best
Kabocha
This cover page is HOT -- have you seen it yet?!
TriaElf9
HEHEH
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
beautiful
serious context is even more reason for puns
gotta defuse that tense situation
TriaElf9
so true
Kabocha
The Mikarna really brought the heat!
My passion for this comic cannot be extinguished!
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
but puns aside i do think the chapter covers are really nice. its some immensely beautiful coloring.
TriaElf9
Ah, Miakarna ^_^
but yes, they did bring the heat eheh
aww, thank you! ^////^
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
masterpieces. kabo just gonna have to make a book of puns to story situations
Kabocha
Things are really heating up for the researchers... ....You could say it's... in tents...
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
the holy head guy was like "you need to put the heat on." miakarna set the tents on fire. holy head guy like "I DIDNT MEAN LITERALLY"
Kabocha
PFFFF
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
QUESTION 2. After discovering the supposed Akarna, things go downhill for the scholars at the ruins rather quickly. Do you think that Atawn will manage to escape? If he does, will he actually manage to make it somewhere safe, or will he be pursued and captured eventually anyway? Where will Atawn even go? Why do you think that Miakarna guard is helping Atawn, and will the guard suffer consequences for helping later on? Will Atawn’s records be of use, and if so how? What do you think will happen to the other scholars that Atawn left behind? Lastly, what do you think will be the consequences for the Miakarna regarding their actions? Will they spark a potential war, or will their declaration of the scholars being profane be allowed to stand?
Kabocha
Someone told the Mikarna to light a fire under someone's ass to get all the research disposed of -- they probably weren't meaning literally
TriaElf9
Oh man, all great questions!!!
snuffysam
maybe this whole thing is a misunderstanding. maybe the miakarna are fine with discovering religious secrets, they just don't like holes in the ground.
Kabocha
@snuffysam -- like Trypophobia, just on a large scale?
where there's one hole with people in it, there might be another
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
holes are like graffiti of the earth
cant have hoodlums adding their graffiti
snuffysam
my hope is that atawn and the guard become best buddies and escape to visit taria and friends. and then the gang has a bunch of misadventures in an attempt to quell a brewing holy war.
Kabocha
http://pathways.smackjeeves.com/comics/2610497/pathways-62/ Well, Rykhana'i will probably not take this well. "Oh, yeah, we uh, lost one of your guys, and burnt all their research. No you can't visit them. NO. THEY'RE TOTALLY FINE"(edited)
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
this is assuming they can get word out. which tbh i do think they can
i think atawn will make it
with the guards help
Kabocha
we can hope
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i believe O_O
although i dont think the guard is going to be safe in the long run
Kabocha
Is the guard already raising death flags for you?
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
yes
ankoart
Atawn's gonna escape, but probably be pursued as he tries to tell others about what he's seen. A man on the run! The guard is gonna join him cause he probably knows shady stuff is afoot and feels guilty just standing by and doing nothing. He seems like the thoughtful type, and he probably became a guard to protect and serve others, not deceive them.
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
super death flags
the guard is a profaner O_O
Kabocha
To be honest, I think Atawn's more likely to be injured badly and have to adapt, the guard will be fine long-term.
ankoart
-hugs the guard- don't you touch him
TriaElf9
eats popcorn, grinning
Kabocha
oh no
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
yeah i do get the impression the guard has a kind soul at least and is becoming disillusioned
which good for the guard
Kabocha
I still think the guard's a spy
TriaElf9
WHY CAN'T I DRAW THE COMIC FASTERRRR so many parts to get toooo
Kabocha
AHAHAHAHAHAH
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
someone on the inside should be thinking "maybe its us who are the bad guys"
TriaElf9
"are we the baddies?"
ankoart
Maybe the real baddies are the friends we made along the way
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
LOL the plot twist of the century
Kabocha
http://pathways.smackjeeves.com/comics/2550453/pathways-43/ I dunno, Guard totally knows who the baddies are. They're very observant
OH NO ANKO
@TriaElf9 -- ....how long until we find out the Guard's name
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
in regards to the other scholars i also see death flags over them. like i think for now theyll be locked up. but then ya know, public executions of the profane and all that to set an example
im gonna burst out laughing if the guard's name is "Guard"
Kabocha
As soon as Atawn finds a place to stop and write a letter, there's going to be a newspaper or something: "SCHOLARS FIRED"
TriaElf9
AHAH
Respheal
> FIRED
Why
Why do you do this
TriaElf9
We'll learn more about the guard soon, I've drawn those pages already, it's just a matter of getting to them in the posting schedule ^_-
extra extra, read all about it! ^_^
Kabocha
@TriaElf9 appreciates my awful, awful jokes
ankoart
It's good to have things to look forward to reading soon!
Respheal
The guard seems smart, so I imagine they'll make it out of this alright I don't foresee them following the narrative much though? But that's just my guess
TriaElf9
I'm trying to build a buffer, so I'm like a bunch of pages ahead, so I keep getting surprised when I check the site and we're not there yet lol
Kabocha
Aaaaaaa I know this feeling. XD But that's okay
So, so far, I can group everyone in this comic into two distinct groups: "Adorable Characters I must protect" and "Flamethrowers"
Respheal
Yes xD
TriaElf9
EHEH
ankoart
I get the feeling they're gonna be joining the narrative to stay~
Kabocha
Actually, you know.... Could we call this event the start of a... flame war?
TriaElf9
I think the other question is, how is this all going to affect Atawn really ^_-
AHAHAHAH
Respheal
istg
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i feel the guard will be around for a while at least. the guard will rise to help again O_O
atawn will be fine. no years of therapy needed or anything
Kabocha
Yep
Respheal
Oh yeah I imagine the guard'll be back at some point if we do part ways with them now
TriaElf9
no survivor's guilt or anything NAH
Kabocha
definitely no therapy necessary never
Respheal
Ahahahaha poor Atawn x'D
Kabocha
Y'all should look at the vote incentive
snuffysam
atawn and the guard get captured. the rest of the comic is taria and gang doing something completely different.
Respheal
Wait
Waaaaaaaaaaaait
the person behind Atawn
TriaElf9
Oh yeah, my full cast art reveals a lot lol
Respheal
I rescind my remarks; Guardfriend joins the gang
Kabocha
GuardFriend is even more adorable without the helmet
TriaElf9
tho it takes the context of connecting faces and people eheheh
excelleennnttt ^_^
Kabocha
+10 want to protect score
Respheal
Also I do really love the umbrella idea with that art. So cute!
ankoart
I wanna know more about the dragons. Everyone deserves dragon cuddles.
Kabocha
YES OH GOODNESS
the dragons are freakin' CUTE
Respheal
Shvir is a good noodle friend
TriaElf9
I also wanted to do a pride yukata picture, but I just didn't have time that month, sadly
Kabocha
How large do the dragons grow?
TriaElf9
a full cast of 8 characters turned out to be murder on the hands lol
they vary in size
they can be tiny to massive
Kabocha
Oooh
ankoart
I need one
Alakotila
Just in time for the cute dragon talk!!
TriaElf9
I haven't much gotten into the dragon stuff yet, but a few people picked up on some of it during the first chapter
eyy, dragon talk! welcome! ^_^
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
the dragons were cute but i was curious why all the royalty seemed to have them
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
pant pant pant
Sorry I'm late!
snuffysam
maybe just a popular pet
a popular, expensive pet
Respheal
I suspect there's more to it than that
TriaElf9
more popcorn and grinning
Kabocha
I imagine there's some sort of bonding
ankoart
Yeah they seem like more than just "pets." Companion seems a better word
TriaElf9
Companion is a very good word for it ^_^
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Heehee~
So i see you're the creative mind that made this comic, aren't ya Tria?
ankoart
I'd like to know how they find each other, dragons and their people.
TriaElf9
I am indeed ^_^
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Heehee, pleased to meet ya~
TriaElf9
and I'm having such a hard time not just like spilling all the beaannnssss
Kabocha
Are you cackling like mad?
ankoart
Oh no, all these beans!
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
maybe its both. maybe the dragons are companions...but also expensive pets O_O
TriaElf9
cackling ^_^
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
A 500 dollar pet?
Kabocha
Don't spill the beans, they're needed for setsubun
TriaElf9
very true, gotta keep those oni out
I will drop that size of dragons is actually a plot point, there is a reason to size ^_-(edited)
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
oooh?
Kabocha
Ooooh
Interesting...
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Are you hiding something from us?
Kabocha
............................................................................ HMMMMMMM
Well, yes, that's the point of telling a story :'3
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Ye~
Kabocha
things are hidden from the reader and gradually revealed
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
And I like that there's dragons that are friendly to each other
TriaElf9
it's not a huge thing, really, but there are layers to it ^_^
Respheal
It's definitely just the royal people that have dragon companions, since a merchant recognized them as royalty for having dragon companions
A pact, mayhaps?
ankoart
The bigger the dragon the gayer you become
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Hmm, Ice Candy
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i feel like it must be related to magic somehow. but thats all i got on that one. need to see the dragons more.
Kabocha
It's interesting that royalty is easily able to walk amongst their people. Must be a pretty peaceful country.
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
As a food enthusiast I need to know exactly what kind fo treat it is
Is it like water ice but with bigger chunks of ice?
Kabocha
It'd be a shame if the Mikarna did something....
TriaElf9
Oh Ice Candy is similar to shaved Ice ^_^
snuffysam
might just be a funny way to say sno cone
yup got it in one
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Heehee
I was thinking of having a snow cone earlier lol
TriaElf9
they call it kakigori at festivals here
and it's one of my go to favs, so I had to include it of course eheheh
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
You live in Japan?
TriaElf9
I do! ^_^
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
That's epic! I always wanted to see what living there was like but I'm too afraid to leave my own home XD It's got everything I could want, but I digress
Kabocha
http://i.imgur.com/sZQnzuA.jpg This, I feel, is an accurate representation of the Mikarna. But, y'know, with fire
Respheal
snrk
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
And I love that the dragons share the treats with their masters~
ankoart
Haha, cat reaction posts are always best
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
So many food vendors too at this fair in the first chapter
Respheal
A cat dragon
snuffysam
i feel like fairs generally have a lot of food vendors?
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Yea
though some just serve lots and lots of fast food
and it's usually the same stuff every time
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
tbf in the comic its the harvest festival
TriaElf9
the dragons are very cat for sure ^_^
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
and well
harvest
food is implied in the name O_O
snuffysam
you know what my favorite thing to harvest is?
ice
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
You have a good point there
TriaElf9
It's basically a matsuri
ankoart
lol
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
>harvesting ice
Kabocha
http://pathways.smackjeeves.com/comics/2521877/pathways-8/ EVERYONE MUST ATTEND AND HAVE FUN
TriaElf9
it's a festival to celebrate a time or a thing, but they also have staple foods at these things
Kabocha
actually, Shvir's expression is just Way too cute there
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
like the aforementioned candy ice?
wondering what flavors they have there too
TriaElf9
various Tuvana fruits flavors probably
also, I am that servant, and Taria is deffo people trying to get me to stop working and GO TO THE DARN MATSURI lol
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i feel like being told its a royal order is a gurantee to not have fun. too much pressure. starts running around forcefully laughing saying, "AM I HAVING FUN NOW!?"
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
In the end it's all about the matsuris
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
QUESTION 3. At the beginning of the comic we are introduced to Taria, Dhiren, and Quinel, royalty far detached from the current situation at the ruins. What do you think their overall roles in the story will be? Will they deal with the situation at the ruins personally, have heavy involvement in the political arena regarding the Miakarna, or will they be involved in some other way? Will Dhiren successfully have his ceremony to celebrate the promise of Cova’t with Jorah, or will the situation with Miakarna throw those plans into disarray? Will Quinel’s role at the House of Healing be significant, and do you consider it foreshadowing of something to come? What about Taria? Will her fighting skills come into play, her apparent charity, or something else?
snuffysam
i think they'll be among the first to find out about the tent-burning
TriaElf9
AHH EVEN MORE GOOD QUESTIONS
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
That's our Rebel!
snuffysam
atawn manages to escape and gets word to them somehow
TriaElf9
Given that Taria and Atawn are from the same country, that's a good bet ^_-(edited)
snuffysam
and honestly quinel being a healer could factor in right then and there
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Maybe~
snuffysam
i doubt he'll escape without a scratch
Kabocha
Taria strikes me as an action princess, so she's going to want to be out there to check on things. I wonder if she knows Atawn though?
Yeah, Quinel's going to be very useful... ............."Yeah, we'll dispatch our best healers to help" ...."Everyone's dead."
TriaElf9
I wonder what the state of necromancy-like magic is in Tuvana? ^_-
Kabocha
.................
OH NO
TriaElf9
This could mean everything OR NOTHING
cackles more
Kabocha
They're going to end up pod people! and then there to wage war against their own peoples!
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
quinel for resident necromancer
Kabocha
NO
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Finally, I binged all the way to the end so far!
Respheal
Just need a lot of diamonds.........#dnd(edited)
TriaElf9
We also have 3 more characters to meet ^_-
Kabocha
I object to this! Atawn strikes me as much more likely to approach Necromancy from a scholarly point of view.
TriaElf9
I can't wait for chapter 4 ahhhhhhhh
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
3 more to meet, you say? :3
TriaElf9
so many diamonds
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
quinel's healing will be useful tho. healers are always useful.
Alakotila
hohohoho
TriaElf9
need that revial spell lol
Alakotila
I guess I can't say anything there
Kabocha
OH DEAR
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Made it for the second hour. ^.^
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
hey math~!
Kabocha
ALAKOTILA KNOWS SPOILERS
TriaElf9
woo, welcome! ^_^
OH RIGHT
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
I also like Atawn's water-generating ability
Alakotila
EDITOR IN THE HOUSE
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
also HEY MATH!
TriaElf9
MY EDITOR KNOWS THINGSS
Kabocha
:'3
Respheal
That was handy xD "Oh, no access to water....welp. -generates water-"
Alakotila
that was a whole ton of good questions up there Rebel!
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
speaking of the water-generating ability i was super stoked to see magic used for something practical like that
thank you
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Oh, you're the editor of this here story?
Alakotila
yeah! that was awesome!
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Hmm, so the royalty will probably have to try and calm down the populus when they see all the smoke from the fire.
snuffysam
how far away is the site?
Alakotila
just the copy editor! all fabulousness is created by @TriaElf9 !
Respheal
I imagine the camp is pretty far away
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
There is hydrogen and oxygen in the air, just need the magical bonds.
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Sometimes mundane is all you need
And nice X3
Kabocha
If you really want it to explode, just break those bonds
TriaElf9
yes, they check me on my very over use of commas and my rambling ahah
Kabocha
and uh ....add a spark
ahahahah
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
lol
TriaElf9
Yeah the camp is pretty far and surrounded mostly by mountains
we'll see more of the land in the next upcoming bit
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Oh Tria, I have a small idea for the sit if you're the one that made/coded it(edited)
Kabocha
Rumors of the scholars' fate may spread like wildfire once Atawn escapes....
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
so i feel like war is for sure brewing and theyll have to try and stop it. cause at the very least i think this current discovery is gonna make the miakarna invade all the ruins which iirc are spread out on all four lands
TriaElf9
and I'm glad you're liking the magic! I'm really proud of the system and can't wait to share more ^_^
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Yea, it's really good magic~!
Kabocha
The Akarna ruled the world with their cake recipes!
Alakotila
CAKE
Kabocha
I mean, they were considered Gods... OF BAKING
TriaElf9
Oh and no, I have loads of help on the site, I'm useless at those things lol
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Lol, alright then
ankoart
Now I wanna make cake
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Cause I thought of suggesting using the arrow keys to navigate through pages
instead of just clicking the page
also
DID SOMEONE SAY CAKE?
TriaElf9
I always want cake, I went out and got cake during last night's typhoon
Kabocha
Ooooh, what kind of cake though
ankoart
-stares at bag full of ingredients to make ace dessert- maybe I'll finally do that this weekend
Respheal
....-wants cake now-
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
I got italian ices during a bad thunderstorm
Alakotila
that's pretty extreme cake getting lol
TriaElf9
I think the arrows do navigate?
snuffysam
this... this is the true power of the Akarna!
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
They take the cake.
TriaElf9
I got strawberry shortcake b/c of course ^_^
Kabocha
I think Justin means using the arrow keys on the keyboard
TriaElf9
ooooh
ankoart
YOU BOUGHT CAKE DURING THE TYPHOON? (Haha I thought about stopping by a conbini actually but I was actually soaked)
Kabocha
That... might be doable...
TriaElf9
I have no idea if SJ has the ability to do that ^_^;;
Respheal
It does, I can link ya
Kabocha
throw it at me
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Back on fave scene, I just wanted to mention I liked the bit near the start where it looked like as the people were meeting back up, so were the dragons. That was just a nice little detail. Hadn't expected different breeds of dragon.
Alakotila
the dragons are wonderful
TriaElf9
oooh I love that bit!
Kabocha
Shvir is like... a noodle cat dragon
TriaElf9
and yes, I wanted to vary dragon types ^_^
Kabocha
also the meeps are great
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
I wonder how many dragon species total exist
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
And in terms of theories, when they first found the door, I wondered if they'd open it and that high priest guy would just be sitting there with a TV. And he'd go, "Well damn, you found my tech man-cave. Now I have to kill you."
Did not expect the frozen gods.
TriaElf9
EHEH
Kabocha
Are they frozen or just... On ice?
TriaElf9
pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Ice see what you did there.
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i expected religion breaking secrets but not frozen gods
Kabocha
It looks vaguely computerized. They need an IT person to come in and take a look before the whole system freezes up
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
for a sec I thought they were mummified
ankoart
They're taking a long nap. I relate to them.
TriaElf9
Also, dragon-wise, so far we've met Tova, Shvir and Var ^_^
snuffysam
the secret is that's where candy ice comes from!
the frozen gods!
ankoart
Ice candy, god flavor
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Interesting that the most important God was at the top, as opposed to at the bottom. Is it really safe up there? Is that also where the power is being generated? (And are they "on ice" in a magical way or a tech one?)
snuffysam
"And are they "on ice" in a magical way or a tech one?" is there really a significant difference?
Kabocha
The ice treats are like soylent green
Respheal
por que no los dos?(edited)
Magitek cryostasis
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Well, this is mostly a magical world, but that area was only recently getting magic, hence the desert. Maybe there's an incompaitiblity... or maybe all the magic was being absorbed by the stasis tubes. So could make a difference for plot.
TriaElf9
oh mannnn I'm loving this AND equally tortured that I can't say anything aHAHAH
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Hmmmm
You're onto something Math
TriaElf9
I'll be dropping more in chapter 4, so look forward to that ^_-
snuffysam
yeah i'm just saying that in this world, it seems like magic has a big impact on technology, and vice versa
TriaElf9
I wish there was a plotting emoticon
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Gotcha.
Maybe the dragons are actually mechanical beings.
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
yeah i feel like its significant that it looks like theyre being preserved by technology in a world where there isnt a lot of technology around or so it seems
TriaElf9
I will say some of the things people have said today are indeed on the right track
now the question is WHICH of the things muhahahah
Alakotila
hmmm yes
where did the tech come from?
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
I wonder that as well
Respheal
Aliens
Alakotila
ALIENS
Kabocha
They're gods because of the tech!
TriaElf9
that's another emoticon we need
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
"What solved the world crisis?" "Aliens."
Kabocha
any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic!
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
The shipping of Atawn and that Guard is the right track, yes? Surely someone already proposed that?
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Always blame it on them
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
The Gods are actually aliens. They crash landed here and decided to seal themselves away from the cavemen until there was a decent enough civilization to rule over.
Alakotila
setting ships sailing is fun
snuffysam
actually i don't think anyone mentioned the atawn x guard ship
Kabocha
They gave people enough to get started, then went into stasis until they could take over
snuffysam
even though it's a pretty good one
TriaElf9
I've gotten some comments on the comic about it, but not here yet
Kabocha
"Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, your world isn't comfortable enough... we'll be back when you make it better..."
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
snuffy: Glad I corrected that oversight then.
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i feel the atawn x guard ship is just obvious is all. they got all them googly eyes going.
Kabocha
Ahahaha, right?
Alakotila
LOL rebel
Kabocha
but more than anything, I want to protect them both
Alakotila
do they
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Rebel: Maybe the Guard has a nice sister he wants to marry off, who knows.
Alakotila
I gotta look closer for the googly eyes
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
"I want a smart guy, but not a guy who's TOO smart. The scholar who dehydrates himself will do nicely."
TriaElf9
AHAHAH
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
no the lol part is to the fact i now cant unpicture them with googly craft eyes glued to their eye lids.
http://www.hobbycraft.co.uk/supplyimages/564756_1000_1_800.jpg
ya know those kind
TriaElf9
dehydration is definitely something to look for in an SO
Alakotila
oh so those kinds
yeah
I can see how that would give the ship away
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
"Stay hydrated!!"
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
"You know where there's some moisture? In mah mouth..."
TriaElf9
PFFT
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
"I have a spell though." "Oh, well fine."
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
thats gonna be the guard's best selling pick up line book
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
In terms of the fact that there's new characters we haven't met - there's four kingdoms who can lay claim to that one area, right? And we've seen two of them...? Maybe there will be counterpoints to Taria. (Or is Dhiren already one?)
Like, they'll have a Summit.
TriaElf9
Dhiren and Quinel are from another kingdom yeah
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
dhiren and quinel are both from kuvar
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
I really want to see the other kingdoms now that you mention it
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
I am SO bad with names.
TriaElf9
The only one we've yet to see is Durhan
lol me too, and I wrote them ahah
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
this is why notes exist
especially when you got a billion fantasy names
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
"There's these four kingdoms, uh... A B C and D."
TriaElf9
I changed the spelling on a few, and I keep getting confused eheh
yuup, I have so many lore notes ehehe
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Do they speak different languages in the different kingdoms, I wonder?
Or is magic the universal langauge?
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
thats a good question
about languages
Kabocha
We can probably safely assume the characters all are fairly well educated
Alakotila
Is there a common tongue?
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
When magic's involved, spelling counts.
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Yes
snuffysam
to be fair, we don't know if the guard is well educated
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Who knows what can happen if you mis-pronounce a certain spell
snuffysam
he may have just been hired to stand there
Kabocha
I dunno, I'm still going with spy theory
TriaElf9
there is at least a common tongue, yes
so far we've seen that and magic
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
snuffy: True, but they probably don't want people who are too dense walking over the scholars.
"This is actually a recipe for biscuits, yes."
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
QUESTION 4. The comic quickly makes it apparent that there are many mysteries afoot regarding the past. In regards to the ruins, what do you think the Miakarna are hiding and why? Did they know about the supposed Akarna there? Are they protecting the land simply because they believe it’s holy? Alternatively, is something else going on? What lengths do you think the Miakarna are willing to go to protect the ruins? Atawn also briefly mentions that magic had not returned to the area the ruins are in. What do you think that means for the past and present day of the story’s world? Of a last note, do you believe the people under the ruins are the Akarna, and if so, what are they doing there?
TriaElf9
SO MANY GOOD QUESTIONS
Kabocha
Qualifications for being a Mikarna guard: -The ability to yell "PROFANER" in at least 3 different languages -Looks good in helmets -OK with bringing the heat(edited)
TriaElf9
EHEHEH
snuffysam
the way the miakarna were acting was like there was a specific thing they didn't want the scholars to find. so i think this was that thing.
TriaElf9
and an almost fanatical devotion to the Akarna
snuffysam
like each day they seemed more worried that the archaeologists were going to find something
Kabocha
The Miakarna probably knew, or had an inkling of what they'd find, just not WHERE and when. And they're hoping to harvest that sweet, sweet cake technology
TriaElf9
hey, cool cake in a desert? priceless
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
snuffy: I got the impression that they didn't know what it was they were even protecting though. Like, they didn't want them to find... something... this is probably it, burn it all.
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Of course
use fire at first resort
Great idea
TriaElf9
people knowing things and straying from their control is BAD
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Yes(edited)
snuffysam
i'd hate to see what the miakarna will use after fire fails to get atawn
Kabocha
OH GOSH
THE AKARNA KNEW... how to make ice cream cake
like the perfect ice cream cake
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Unless the Miakarna are actually under the mental control of the Akarna. Subconsciously or not.
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
im gonna be honest i think its a mix. like the miakarna were told something vague like "this is the final resting place of the akarna" cause there has to be a reason they already considered the land sacred. so they knew theyd find something they either proved that right or wrong. and then ya know, they found pods.
Kabocha
GO HOME EVERYONE WE'VE SOLVED THE CONSPIRACY
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
BY BURNING IT ALL \o/
Kabocha
.............
darnit
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
the miakarna being under the control of the akarna sounds interesting though
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Rebel: Or maybe they were just told that where the magic was weakest was the final resting place or something. Way vague, which is why they don't want anyone until they figure it out themselves.
Alakotila
it does make sense they'd have been told something vague AT LEAST in order to consider it sacred
I wonder if they expected to find what they did
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Arkarna are all telepaths.
Kabocha
The Akarna were the ones who made the desert
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
swings pendulum "You are getting... creeeepy."
snuffysam
*dessert, kabo
TriaElf9
PFFT
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
as a general semi crack, semi serious theory, i think theres gonna be war as the miakarna block the others from the ruins. but then theyll wake up an akarna. and then the akarna will yawn and wage an even bigger war and everyone will have to come together to scream oh shit oh shit the gods want to murder us.
Respheal
Ahahaha I can get behind this theory x'D
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
never trust the pod ppl
Respheal
The pod gods
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
better, even more specific
Kabocha
An ancient empire awakens, bent on reclaiming the world they once dominated. A small group of people, drawn together by a common cause, are determined to stop them. However, they face more than threats from the outside.... I mean, the synopsis of the comic is this....
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
dont trust pod gods
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
^
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Rebel, I can totally see that. Suddenly the Miakarna wave the white flags, "Stop shooting at us, we're under attack from within too."
Respheal
Yuuuuuuuuuuuppppp r.i.p. everyone when the pod gods wake up
TriaElf9
author cackling continuessss
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Unless the Gods decide to use the Miakarna as the instruments to wipe out the other kingdoms.
Kabocha
Does "Mi" have a meaning
because Mi-Akarna
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Mama Mia.
Kabocha
are we following hi-fu-mi here
bc if so, this means they're the third iteration of the Akarna's people... potentially
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
mi actually used to be my because the miakarna are the descendants of their slaves O_O
Kabocha
GASP
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
They're also probably great at dodging magic, if they're spending a lot of time defending a region that doesn't use it.
Kabocha
Bwahahahahahaha
So, basically, we can sum this up as: "They're all doomed"
The Akarna join with their faithful servants,and..............................
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
R.I.P. everyone
Kabocha
TAKE OVER THE WORLD
snuffysam
unless a rag-tag group of friends can stop them!
Respheal
Well if the Miakarna consider the Akarna to be gods, I can't imagine it'll take much to convince them to join in on the conquest
ankoart
Everybody wants to rule the world
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
maybe this will be a technology vs magic war. cause the akarna could be technology wizards instead of regular magic wizards. and the akarna are the reason magic went away.
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
oooh
That'd be epic
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Leaves it up to the cat dragons to save the day.
ankoart
Cat dragons save the day! That would be the best
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
The smallest and cutest fighters
Kabocha
The akarna are all sudo rm -rf /
snuffysam
the entire story is just the akarna trying to remember the admin password
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
"As soon as we thaw out our army, you'll be in trouble."
(Wasn't there an episode of Star Trek Voyager like that?)
(Dragons Teeth or something.)
snuffysam
use a blow drier to thaw out the army
have to go to the store for extension cords because of the size of the room
it's a whole thing
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Unless blow drier runs on magic. Also, they'll have fabulous hair.
Kabocha
Sam -- you know, they probably just have to boot into single user mode
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
"Aim for the heads." "Why aren't they wearing helmets?" "Would you cover up that hair?"
Kabocha
http://pathways.smackjeeves.com/comics/2595215/pathways-56/ "What, you must be mistaken" Clearly they know what's up
Gaslighting before they torch the place
Respheal
I dunno, might be legitimate surprise
TriaElf9
which one which oneeeee ~dances~
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i read it as legit surprise too
Kabocha
....you missed the joke T_T
TriaElf9
OH
OHHHHH YOU
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i saw it O_O i just dont have a witty response to it XD
Kabocha
ahahahaha
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
TriaElf9
sorry I'm getting prepped for critical role lol
Kabocha
It's ok XD
I'm being awful
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Seeing that panel reminds me, did all characters have slightly pointy ears, or no...?
TriaElf9
I HAVE FAILED YOU
it's mixed
Kabocha
IT'S OK, THIS COMIC IS WONDEFUL
TriaElf9
Dhiren and Quinel both have rounded ears
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Gotcha, thanks. I wondered about races at some point there, then forgot.
TriaElf9
so does Vala
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
I guess it's connected to Kingdoms.
TriaElf9
yup, it's just a little detail ^_^
it's actually not a spoiler or anything, it's just a genetic variation in this world
like connected earlobes or detached earlobes
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Nice detail. Actually, really good artwork, given the large setting too.
Kabocha
I'm 100% here for the pointy ears
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
interesting.
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
There's also, like, foreground-background in places.
Kabocha
@TriaElf9 -- now, I have to ask one question before it gets to the end... Is ther ea character we'll get to shout "YOU HAD ONE JOB" at
and will they have a ribbon
TriaElf9
it's more of a "this isn't Earth" tidbits ^_^
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
is there any sort of discrimination caused by the difference in ears or is everyone shrugging about it?
TriaElf9
also I like pointed ears ahaha(edited)
Alakotila
me too
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
The person who made the large cloak, when it fails and Atawn is seen. Had one job.
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Mind of I say one last thing before this chat ends?
TriaElf9
for sure!
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Because this is an incredible read so far with lots of cool (and sometimes cute!) ideas and I love everything about it thus far
TriaElf9
eeee ^////^
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Hope it continues on and we experience a lot more about this world you created
(and long live candy ices!)
TriaElf9
I've been working on this comic for a few years now, building the world, I'm so glad people are liking ittt ^_^
oh it'll keep going for sure ^_^
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Glad to hear!
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Is Tuvana the land or the planet?
TriaElf9
and if we hit the next goal on my patreon, it'll reliably update twice a week
ankoart
Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to chat with us!
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Sweet!
TriaElf9
instead of my 1-2-1-2 pattern I have now
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
yeah the effort put into the world really shows through. its got a lot of those necessary details that really bring the foreignness to fruition.
TriaElf9
it's both
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Gotcha.
TriaElf9
the world is the land is the planet
TriaElf9
Tuvana is what they call the whole thing, and then there are 4 distinct countries
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Helps the aliens out that way.
TriaElf9
heheheheh
hey it does have a dash of sci fi ^_-
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
That's cool~
TriaElf9
I've only had one panel with it I think, but keep an eye on the sky, there are a few cool things there ^_-
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Yeah, definitely didn't expect the pods... I wonder if they're all actually functioning? Oooh, what if they're all just holograms?
"Thank you for opening my pod, this is a recorded message..."
TriaElf9
EHEHE
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
"...to build the thermonuclear device, insert tab A..."
Respheal
Now I'm going back through, looking at all the sky shots lmao
Divulge your secreeeeets(edited)
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
i feel like some of the pods must of failed maybe. at the very least i can hear them waking up and being like "General Lod is okay but General Joe Bob kicked the bucket I'm afraid."
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Always nice to have reasons to go back. Like, even hair has tufts and strands.
Kabocha
AHAHAHAHAHAHHA
TriaElf9
it'll show up more in coming pages
Kabocha
I can't wait to read more
Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨
Same here~
TriaElf9
but the night sky has a little fun thing ^_-
MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑
Rebel: Hope they took out life insurance.
snuffysam
looking forward to more world building!
Kabocha
I want to see more cuties
TriaElf9
oh there will be more cuties for SURE
also more world building
Kabocha
EVERYONE IS ADORABLE NEED ALL OF THEM ALL THE TIME
TriaElf9
chapter 4 we get some world lore AND some cuties
✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨
COMIC TEA PARTY END!
Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Elaine Tipping, as well, for making Pathways: Chronicles of Tuvana and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Elaine Tipping’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!
For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on The J-Man by Jonny Aleksey. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on August 30th from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! @The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey Comic: http://jonnyalekseydrawscomics.com/thelatestpage/
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Game Over....
Epsiode 4
The Plot that was Promised.
Silence. Not a sound could be heard on the air. Jon swung his head around to catch Tormund’s eye and the old wildling raised his bushy, ginger brows.
“Ahh!” They both chimed in unison as it all began to make sense. Jon looked at his feet, now more than a little embarrassed, unable to look his son in the face. “Well, that makes sense! Although…”
“I know…I know; you couldn’t help it! But then all of this,” Torrhen gestured to the frozen vista around him and Drogon followed the arc of his gesture inquisitively. “Well, it’s not canon is it? You are not telling me this is where you imagined you would end up after all they put you through? Jesus, you didn’t even get to take out the Night King after devoting your life to defeating him!” Torrhen made low tutting sounds under his breath. “That must have stung like shit!” Tormund frowned, discomfort writ large on his face whilst Jon hung his head, pursing his lips, his shaggy hair falling forwards to hide his expression.
“It was…a bit…disappointing, yes.”
Despite the sympathetic tone, his son was unrelenting.
“But, didn’t you even stop to question my mother going bat-shit crazy in the space of one episode? I mean, pissed off at Cersei, yes. Fucked off by the Mountain – totally, but she could have destroyed them both in just one triumphant flypast of the Red Keep! But no – she suddenly goes all Rambo and blows the whole bloody place apart! Really? Complete and utter certifiable homicidal madness on the basis of two deep fried Tarly traitors and Varys? And to be fair, she warned him what she would do to him episodes ago. There were a lot of things no one saw coming but that one…you would have had to have both your eyes pushed in by The Mountain not to have seen that one!”
“You weren’t there,” Jon mumbled sullenly, digging a hole in the snow with the toe of his boot. After all, there was nothing else he could say? It was all true. Too true. “We had no choice.” Torrhen raised his fair eyebrows, his face a picture of scepticism.
“So, after you read the script and learned what you had to do, did not one of you have the balls to look the writers in the eye and say ‘Not Today?’”
“I didn’t get any good lines.” Jon mused moodily. “At least, not that good.” He flapped a hand in Tormund’s direction. “He did though.”
“No, but you did get to look good,” Tormund piped up, pulling at his grizzled beard. “I really envied your post-death man-bun era!”Jon’s smile lit up the snow.
“Aww, thanks mate!”Torrhen snorted in utter disgust.
“Jesus guys! What’s wrong with you? Admittedly, it all started so well! All those heart-warming reunions at Winterfell! Well, apart from Sam who for some reason spent a fortnight in the library before he went to see you in the crypt? And he was supposed to be your closest friend?” Jon and Tormund stared back at him nonplussed. “Ok, maybe a fortnight was an exaggeration but you get my point, why wasn’t he out with everyone else when you arrived? Did he not get the Raven? Was the library soundproofed?” Even Drogon nodded in agreement then, which Jon felt was completely surreal. “Everything else was so promising! The swelling music! The call backs to an era when things didn’t move at the speed of light leaving bloody great big plot holes! When it could take a whole series for the Hound and Arya to travel the length of two football fields. A device that was completely abandoned until the Night King took three hours to cross the Godswood which was probably stalling for time whilst Arya found a ladder to jump from. And then…the battle started…”
“I know what you are going to say!” Jon interjected hastily.
“Really?” Torrhen remarked flatly. “Go on then, enlighten me!”
“Nice one!” snorted Tormund, slapping Jon on the back. “Enlighten!”
“Oh how I wish someone had…” sighed Torrhen, rolling his eyes dramatically.
“Energy saving lighting rigs!” Jon piped up defensively. “We had to consider the environmental effects of making a television series over five continents with a cast and crew of thousands and taking over a decade to do it! What you didn’t see is that by the time the night shoots were done all the bulbs had warmed up and…” Jon’s voice trailed off to a murmur as he realised how stupid he sounded. “You sort of had to be there to see it.”
Torrhen looked distinctly unimpressed and cocked one eyebrow high, affecting a high pitched whining voice which made Tormund grin.
“That was rather the point wasn’t it? You couldn’t. Well, you could because you were there but as for anyone else! Are you sure it wasn’t more like “‘Oh well, budget constraints and all that! All this CGI we committed to in order to pull all you sad sacks in for several years is soooooo expensive! This will only take can six episodes if we hack through the character arcs and keep the dialogue to words of less than two syllables. The fans can imagine the rest; they are good at that. Besides we have no more books to go on which is making it really really hard work and it will be much easier to go and make a million more bucks ruining a Star Wars Franchise!’” Tormund leaned into Jon, whispering, his face worried.
“I didn’t see this guy at the table reads!” Jon shook his head, sadly as Torrhen began his punishing rant once more. Cold facts, hotly spoken. Fire and Ice.
“So who was it?” Tormund and Jon scowled as he asked the question. “Who gave the order to charge? Was it Melisandre, because as soon as she lit all those swords, it was like she had plugged them all into the mains! Talk about Duracell Dothraki! Off they went, charging into the dark and towards what? It was the Khalasar equivalent of driving a free Volvo into a brick wall! Then your sister suddenly learns how to fly and kills the Night King by gliding across the Godswood like some caped superhero, passing a hundred or so wights and all the assembled generals without anyone making any sort of attempt to swat her down! Was she invisible? I know if ‘no one’ is there you can’t see them, but this was pushing the ‘no one’ premise just a tad too far don’t you think? And by the way, exactly what was your brother doing whilst he was letting everyone else die? No doubt he was off bargaining with the old Gods and the New to secure a better ending for his character, maybe one where he asked them if it could be Bran for king. He was certainly no for-king use in the battle!”
Jon and Tormund milled about sheepishly, offering up no defence. How could they? Their lives had been at the mercy of different forces those days. But Torrhen had not finished, and was now striding about, waving his arms around to illustrate his points, his former calm a memory. Jon felt sure that if Drogon had eyebrows he would have raised them in tacit agreement at every declaration of dissatisfaction.
“So Night King, the whole lot, gone! Eight years of build up, plot seeding and misdirection and some weird science fiction scene much earlier on in the series which obviously meant nothing, all eliminated in around ninety minutes and then, what? Yay, none of us have a scratch on us so lets all go down to King’s Landing to kill Cersei! Even though technically at that point there should be only around twenty men left despite the – ahem – script unbelievably insisting that only half of the Dothraki had gone. Well I counted six that survived myself, and a horse, mind you it was very hard to see. Is that why they kept it so dark, so the bleeding gaping plot holes weren’t visible? Or maybe they weren’t dead, they were just pining? Then, here it becomes so bloody hysterical if it wasn’t tragic! Mum, apparently, was in such raptures of joy flying around the skies on Drogon that the reason for going to Dragonstone in the first place completely eluded her. That, and the fact that the Iron Fleet may be waiting for them. That same Iron Fleet that wiped out half of her forces in Season seven? And how the hell she failed to see over a hundred boats ranged up beneath them from twenty miles away until one of them shot a round of bolts into Rhaegal and killed him stone dead I just don’t know. Sudden catastrophic memory loss? And such an excellent shot was Euron that they then failed to hit Drogon on any other attempt even when he was heading right for them! So, they gave up on the dangerous flying thing and attacked the other boats instead! The boats that didn’t pose any threat, whereas bloody great fire breathing dragon did - but of course, spoiler, they needed to keep Drogon alive to torch King’s Landing and use as a plot device to turn my mother mad!” He paused for a second, taking a deep breath before he continued. “Apparently, according to the Dumb and Dumber, she forgot. Forgot about the Iron Fleet. Do we think Cersei forgot anything? Mind you she may well have done as all we saw her do was stare out of the window in an alcoholic stupor!”
“Are you some sort of fucking nerd?” Growled Tormund, his hands on his hips, now clearly irritated by the constant tirade. Yet, Torrhen was not to be stopped. His words came thick and fast now, flowing out of his mouth in an – er – Torrhent…
“No, wait! Hear me out, I have waited years for this! So we have Cersei, Qyburn and the Mountain all standing at a convenient dragon height near an open window – but not one of them gets as much as a blister! Cos its far better to have the madwoman kill thousands of CGI men, women and children than confront the main villains.” He gestured to Drogon, frowning. “Look at him! He wouldn’t harm a fly!” Drogon simpered on cue, tilting his head from one way to another like an attentive puppy. “So instead, we have the Hound, Arya and Jamie (somehow) inside the city all looking to wreak their individual revenges. Or possibly not. Well, at least the Hound did. Every dog has its day, as they say. Jamie, who had blood pouring out of more holes than a colander, and should have been dead, is miraculously directed to Cersei in the map room (no pun intended) and they both are romantically reunited and suffer the ultimate fate. Death by masonry. Arya is easily – too easily – convinced to give up on the last name on her list and after running around forever saving innocents from being crushed to death by leading them off to be burned to a crisp, she meets up with a random horse and rides off. Where? Why? Was this some subliminal reference to ‘Arya Horseface?’ Was the budget constraint soo bad that they meant to send Nymeria in to meet her, but could only afford a pantomime horse? Did they think we wouldn’t notice?” Jon wondered just how long they had been standing there and looked at his wrist pointedly, before remembering he had not worn a watch in twenty odd years and so just sighed heavily. Dany had always liked talking. And later, yelling.
“And then, and then…after all of that and King’s Landing stands in ruins, covered in snow, or ash, or the remnants of the fans disappointment, Mum gives a rousing speech. In two very different languages. Neither of them English but you all understood every single word! Bloody amazing!” He pointed angrily at Jon who was all but squirming. “You didn’t need to fuck your aunt! All three of you got right royally screwed! Mum got killed, you got banished and you…” he grinned at Tormund, “you let the Kingslayer fuck your date and then dump her for his sister. And you say my mother was the mad one...!”
Jon had had enough. It was cold, his furs were heavy and he needed a drink. He crossed his arms across his chest belligerently.
“We couldn’t help it. They offered us free Starbucks…”
“And bacon toasties,” Tormund interjected, “don’t forget them!”
“God yes,” Jon grinned, suddenly heartened, “the catering was top notch!”
“Never mind the bloody food!” Torrhen shouted, furious now. “What are we going to do about it? We can’t let this be how such a legendary tale is left to fester in the annals of history! Think about your careers!” Jon scrunched up his face. Maybe it was about time, he pouted, thoughtfully. And, he did rather fancy breaking out the man-bun once more.
“Ok, Ok, you’ve made your point and stuck us with it,” he reasoned, “admittedly at some length.” He twisted about, looking around, considering, his cloak flapping around him like dark wings. Took a deep breath or two before looking back at Torrhen. “You got an army?”
Torrhen shook his head regretfully leaving them all to look all at each other, perplexed. Even Drogon let out a sympathetic snuffle.
“What happened to the Dothraki left behind at Kings Landing?”
“No idea,” said Tormund. “I don’t suppose we can ask the Unsullied?” Jon pulled a horrified face.
“Surely they will all be dead?” His tone was hopeful. Torrhen shrugged.
“Well, we can forget about The Golden Company…”There was a brief silence before all of them burst out laughing.
“You have to admit,” chuckled Jon, “that scene was bloody hilarious!”
“It was! That guy’s face!” Torrhen snickered, turning to Drogon. “Great fire-breathing there mate! To do you credit, you probably had the best scenes in the whole of the last series! But then you had the advantage of not having a script!” Everyone nodded in considered agreement as Drogon preened. Tormund scowled suddenly. He could be slow at times, unlike the pace of the last series, but something bothered him.
“Hang on a bloody minute! You weren’t there! Neither was I? How come we both know what went on?” Torrhen looked suitably thoughtful for a moment, the sunlight peeping out from behind a cloud and painting the surrounding mountain tops with golden rays. Iceland…sorry…beyond the Wall had never quite looked so stunning.
“Perhaps we saw it in the flames? A message from the Lord of Light?”
“What?” Jon snorted. “Like the ‘Prince that was Promised’”.
“Don’t mock,” Torrhen said sombrely. “Look where we are now! Perhaps this is the ‘Plot that was Promised’!” Jon was thinking hard. It had been a long time since he had had to think hard. It still suited him.
“Ok, let’s think this through. So we have you. Me. Tormund…” there was an accompanying snort and Jon nodded in acknowledgement. “Drogon.” His lips pressed into a thin line as the dragon shook his head in appreciation. Smiling. He was. The bastard was smiling. But Jon shook his head, sadly, his hair falling around him in waves, looking suddenly much darker than it had been at the beginning of this tale. “Gonna be a tough one mate!”
It seemed their mission was doomed before it began and they all stood reflecting in ponderous, if splendidly located, silence. Then, as if on cue, there was a strange rumbling sound, one Jon had heard before. It grew closer. And closer. Now punctuated by faint cries. Yells. Were they whoops?
“Maybe not …” Torrhen grinned slyly, his eyes glinting mischievously.
With that, Drogon raised his head and let out a terrifying roar. One which was answered within seconds. Distantly, by something which echoed his cry. Before Jon could turn, another dragon, one he knew all too well if he hadn’t been told it was dead, swooped around with a further throaty scream, landing on the ground with a crash beside Drogon, who turned somewhat clumsily to greet his brother. In the distance, the rolling thunder became the roar of an oncoming tide and within minutes the figures standing alone in the snow were surrounded by a screaming, jeering Dothraki hoard. Much, much bigger than the one last seen at Winterfell.
“Oh come on!” Jon gasped in utter disbelief, wondering if this was something to do with his wife and part of the best April Fool’s day trick revenge ever, but then he had no idea of the date. “This is bloody ridiculous!”
“You gotta be shitting me in my pants!” cried Tormund at the same time. The air became eerily quiet, apart from the snorting of horses and the various chirrups and growls of Drogon and Rhaegal catching up on news.
“Is it?” Someone said. “As ridiculous as that last episode?” A female voice he knew far too well (see – by this stage he knows an awful lot does Jon Snow – that’s called character development) caused him to turn quickly, so quickly he almost fell over his voluminous cloak. Righting himself, he came face to face with his queen. His love. His aunt. His…woman he murdered amidst a passionate snog.
“No!” One word, incredulous.
“Yes!” One word. Clearly pissed. Jon and Dany stared at each other. She was wearing the same leather effect, warlike costume which she had suddenly pitched up in on the day he had – er – killed her. But there was no sign of the mark of his dagger. Still amazed at what a good special effects team could achieve, he could not think of anything else to say, so he played for time, nodding at the green, amber eyed beast from which she had just dismounted.
“Is that really Rhaegal?”
“Uhuh! Surely you know that, if you know nothing else.” He frowned, sulkily.
“I do. But how?” Dany thought for a minute, biting her lower lip seductively.
“Er – what if we say…he wasn’t as badly hurt as it appeared when he got shot through the neck by that scorpion bolt. It looked bad, but it was only a flesh wound. So he managed to swim to the beach at Dragonstone…on the far side of the island opposite where everyone else swam to, except Missandei of course, and where he has been convalescing for many years.” She rolled her eyes upwards as if assessing the quality of her words before giving a satisfied nod. “Then he flew home.”
“That bastard said you were dead!” Tormund snapped, pointing accusingly at Torrhen who raised an eyebrow archly.
“Plot twist?’ After a second, Jon nodded, turning to Tormund.
“I’ll buy it!” Tormund raised his arms outwards in submission.
“Oh, what the fuck!”
“Good!” Dany held out her hand to Torrhen, who muttered under his breath before meekly unfastening the dragon clasp and handing it over.
“Sorry! I only borrowed it!”
“Hmnn,” Dany murmured. “Like you just borrowed Drogon! Next time, ask!” She pinned the clasp back onto her fur coat in a business like fashion, patting it with glee, her dark brows meeting together in an arrowhead as she frowned. “Well then, are we agreed?”
Jon still looked uneasy. Almost out of his comfort zone. He looked around hesitantly.
“Aren’t you supposed to say ‘Shall we begin?’”
Dany grinned. “Like you are supposed to say “You’re my queen?” That did it. He returned her smile ruefully. “I think we can forget all that crap!” They all looked at each other in agreement. “So, men of the north, are our ambitions aligned?”
“Well, that’s a lot more words than ‘shall we begin’, but its worth a try.” Jon admitted grudgingly. “It can’t be any worse than the last attempt surely?”
“Where we all got right royally shit on?” Dany smiled enigmatically. “No. It’s time to put that right. And just as an aside, I do have a stab vest on under this coat! But enough of the past - we will need to re-establish our loyal following. Some have stayed true and were justifiably outraged about what unfolded before their disbelieving eyes…”
“And ears…” Jon’s words were greeted with a mumble of assent.
“But we need something,” she continued thoughtfully, “something to appeal to the disaffected. To put us back where we were around season six.”
They muttered amongst themselves for a while as the amassed Dothraki, getting bored, or getting ready, however you will, took it in turns to try and light their swords.
“What about…Cersei turns up as a Night Queen so she can be killed all over again but this time in a fight to the death with you?” suggested Jon to Dany helpfully.
“That would work. As long as I don’t get killed – again!” she answered pointedly. “Needs to be a long drawn out struggle though, over a couple of seasons?”
“And those White Walker symbols!” Tormund growled. “Perhaps we ought to make something up about that?”
“Good idea. It was some form of ancient cryptic language – warning that those that are dead, again, may not be quite as dead as they thought? Especially if those who are responsible for killing them try to take the throne for themselves.” Drogon snorted suddenly, and Dany turned listening. “Aww, no baby, it doesn’t matter that you melted it! We can make a new one with all the Kingsguard’s armour.” Jon giggled. He had not giggled for a long time. If ever at all.
“Or those they have pissed off and banished might be more pissed off and not so banished as they thought?”
“I’m sure we can think of something.” Torrhen interjected. “Jesus, the original end was so excruciatingly bad, the bar really isn’t set all that high!”
“And this time I get the big woman!” shouted Tormund, “or I’m out!”
“Fine by me.” said Jon, looking over at Torrhen thoughtfully. “Just one thing. Three dragons you said, and discounting those two actual dragons! So, how’s that going to work when we win this thing?” There was a moments silence punctured only by two disgruntled draggony chirrups.
“I’ll take King’s Landing – because I already did!” said Dany firmly. “Torrhen, you can have Dragonstone and Jon…the north?” That seemed to trouble him. After all, he was known for his loyalty to his family, for being as good as his word. For being a true Stark. More Stark than any other Stark ever. Starkly Stark. Which he considered may be a good name for a rapper if all of this failed, again. Maybe Chris Martin had connections he could exploit?
“What about Sansa?” he asked doubtfully.
“What about her?” Dany asked, in a tone of voice that made a certain part of his body freeze.
“Ok!” he shrugged lightly. “It’s her fault I’m here. Done!”
“Finally!” groaned Tormund. “Then I suggest we all celebrate with a meal back at our camp. We don’t have much, some bread, ale and I hope you all like fowl.”
With that, a huge figure dressed all in black pushed his way between the Dothraki horses. A tall, ugly man, his face terribly scarred, his shadow a scar on the pristine snow.
“Did someone mention chicken?” growled the Hound. “I’m in!"
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Sentence Starter Masterlist
Batfamily:
Jason Todd:
“You deserve a world without this”
"Guns? Ha! Last I remember, you had string bean arms!"
“It’s not that funny.”
“I know you liked it when they were hitting on you.” "If you would do it I would like it better" "Wait, what" "What"
"If you're not there when this baby comes, I'm going to take that gun, and shove it so far up your--"
"open it" "can you say please?"
"real smooth, tripping over air"
"Alright guys time to play truth or dare"
"well, that was... interesting"
"where have you been"
“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”
“If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life.”
“After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”
"I know I said I’d get up with the kid in the morning but I’m hoping you can’t tell I’m fake sleeping and hoping you will do it instead"
"It helps that my competition is attractive."
“I’d die for you. Of course, I’d haunt you in the afterlife but really, it’s the thought that counts.”
"I bet I could beat you in wrestling match"
“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”
"Yeah, because fighting crime wearing the colors of a traffic light is soooooo stealthy."
“I met your parents and your mom was flirting with me. "
"I am not jealous, I'm territorial. Jealous is when you what something you can't have, territorial is protecting what is yours."
"Get over here, Jason 'Crush Me With Your Thighs' Todd!"
"ITS PLATINUM!!!"
"Wait, you're not a virgin? do you even stay awake long enough for sex?"
"you can't just go around killing people"
"So tell me: do all vigilantes lurk or is this just a part of your unique charm?"
"Am I really gonna be a father to an actual human being?"
"Put the water balloon down."
“You’re cute when you’re angry.”
Dick Grayson:
“I did a pregnancy test.”
“You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”
"What do you mean I can't stay up until 4 am reading? You've stayed up later risking your life in a ridiculous costume!"
"If you sing that song one more time I will fight you"
“I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
"I swear to god if you don't get off the chandelier right now"
"love first of all if you're wearing that kilt to slag me off for me Irish heritage I'm not one fucking bit impressed and second KILTS ARE FUCKING SCOTTISH ugh but you do look the ride in it , i have to say wait there I'm posting a pic of it this gonna be great craic"
"IVE BEEN STANDING IN THIS SHOP FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS TRYING TO DECIDE BETWEEN SMARTIES OR SKITTLES DONT RUSH ME !"
“What do you want me to do with this?”
"You know you have to worst name ever"
"Where do you run off to every day?"
Tim Drake:
“Is there a problem?” “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”
"No, nothing's wrong, I was just fangirling, carry on."
"You should know by know that if you leave your cape laying around, I don't care if it's for 'superhero business', I'm going to wrap it around myself like a blanket."
“You drowned my makeup in water so I used my key to scratch all of your video game discs.”
"stop it, stop whatever the hell your doing"
'please stop staring at that stupid computer and talk to me'
"You're not meeting my boyfriend, Tim, because I'd like to date him a while before my brother kills him."
“This is your twentieth cup of coffee are you trying to break a world record or something?“
"I found you passed out, face down in a pile of coffee cups, are you ok?"
"You have to be cheating! No one is that good poker!"
"There's nothing wrong with taking a break"
"You should really get out of the house more, I almost attacked you thinking you were a vampire. And no patrol doesn't count, get some sunlight."
Damian Wayne:
“Damn, when did y/n get hot?”
"We’re camping and you think you lost the kid but they’re napping in the tent and I’m not telling you yet so you watch them better next time"
"Damian, are you sure your dad is going to be ok with us sneaking a monkey into the Manor?"
“Before you decide to murder me, let me explain…”
“His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.”
“When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
“Do you ever follow directions?”
"dami ..I can't find my reading glasses have you seen them ?"
"I was trained by the masters of the League of Assassins and Ra's Al Ghul himself I DO NOT SING"
"we are not going to steal someone's dog"
"i'm allowed to be obssesed with you, im your husband"
"Why is there a deer in the mansion."
"I'm better at handling swords than you"
“So that’s why you’re always gone... you’re fighting crime in tights...”
"Wait... are you actually trying to stab me with a spoon?"
"Do I have to?"
"Don't worry beloved my family will love you, if anything I'm worried about them scaring you off"
Batfam:
"Not to point out the elephant in the room, but is that a literal elephant in the room?"
<-------------------------------------------->
CW DC:
Barry Allen:
"Cisco I don't need you to hit on them for me."
"I don't care how much a speedster needs to eat, you touch my food, and we're going to have a problem."
"everyone can tell you lover her, it's obvious"
“im NOT jealous, but he was flirting with you"
"I'm so sorry to disturb you but....I ran out of toilet paper"
Wally West:
"you like her, don't you!"
"I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it"
Oliver Queen:
"are you jerking off or did you just find another book?"
Mon-El:
"Are you really jealous of a dog?"
"Mon-El, stop trying to make me blush, you jerk!"
Winn Schott:
"Winslow Schott, you do *not* get to saw I'm 'crabby' right now. If I seem to be in a bad mood, it's because *someone* decided to drag all the way to the DEO, first thing in the morning before I had a chance to have breakfast, without actually giving me a reason!"
<-------------------------------------------->
DC (Other):
Billy Batson:
"I'll give you your precious hoodie back, if you say the magic word!"
"How hasn't Bruce Wayne adopted you yet?"
"So...what happened EXACTLY?"
"y'know when you sneak around like that to transform you look super shady right?"
"You snuck into my room in the middle of the night to tell me something that could've waited till morning, woke me up by tripping over a small pile of books, and almost broke the most expensive thing I own. Remind me again why I shouldn't immediately call the cops on my best friend?"
<-------------------------------------------->
Young Justice:
Wally West:
"I'd like to remind everyone to refrain from eating my food"
"I think you're just jealous cause you don't have magic powers! Or maybe you don't believe cause your so dependent on your precious science to explain everything!"
"I don't speak science, think you can translate for us non-nerds?"
Bart Allen:
"You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened to him"
"I'm from the past...I knew your cousin"
"We're about to die!"/"Comes with the job!"/”You're not helping!"
"You can't be serious"
"Hey, could you help me go over these case files-...you do not have a shirt on..."
"Who do i look like, Batman?"
"How are you always late?"
"Give me back my book!! You better not spoil it!!!"
"YOU CAN SING?!?!?!?!"
"You look good in yellow"
"I promise to tell you where your snacks went, if you promise not to get mad."
“are you sure about this”
"please don’t make me say it"
<-------------------------------------------->
Marvel:
The Avengers:
"oops they saw it, well surprise I guess!"
Peter Parker:
"Don't be such a nerd Parker, we need to keep this professional and intimidating."
"You're that Bug Boy Jamison keeps talking about"
"You're an arachnophobe?"
“You're gonna get me killed!"
"I dare you to kiss him."
"Explain your powers to me again"
"Could you just get me down from here?!"
"These aren't even quips! They're just bad puns!"
"I cannot believe you of all people got us detention! I always thought it would be me."
"There's no such thing as bad publicity!"
"So, what's up with BugBoy over there?"
Steve Rogers:
"When were you planning to let me know what happened?!"
<-------------------------------------------->
Voltron:
Shiro:
“I’m like 20% sure this plan will work. The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly it’s a really solid plan.”
“You’re so determined to protect yourself and your feelings, but what about me?”
“How is my wife more badass than me?”
"i lost our baby"
“Are you hitting on me?”
"...Why did you throw confetti in my face?"
Lance:
“I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”
"Please tell me you aren't washing a metal, mechanical, slightly magical lion with soap and water?"
“How did you even get that there?“
Keith:
"How in the world did I get you to like me back?"
“I thought it was a good idea at the time, but it now occurs to me that I was horribly wrong.”
“Oh my god! You’re in love with them!” "No, Dumb-ass I'm in love with you"
"I can't believe you talked me into this."
"Keith, I love you, you know I do, but *please* tell me you didn't actually jump out of an airlock to get your lion."
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
<-------------------------------------------->
Criminal Minds:
Spencer Reid:
"i need you to breath in and out with me, this anxiety attack will pass, i......"
"I don't care what you think you know, Spence, I'm *not* ticklish!"
"God, I hate profilers! You can never keep a secret from one."
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Meghan Markle has gone from being a breath of fresh air for the Royals to the wicked witch - The Sun
New Post has been published on https://harryandmeghan.xyz/meghan-markle-has-gone-from-being-a-breath-of-fresh-air-for-the-royals-to-the-wicked-witch-the-sun/
Meghan Markle has gone from being a breath of fresh air for the Royals to the wicked witch - The Sun
WHEN Meghan Markle moved from the set of a little-known television show to the pink and golden world of the Royal Family, everyone seemed to be very happy.
She went out once while not wearing tights and many people jumped up and down with glee, saying this was a radical departure for the royals.
Splash News
Where Meghan Markle’s smile was said to light up a room – it’s now often described a sneer
Meghan Markle joins Prince Harry for annual Boxing Day shoot quashing rumours she’d banned him from royal tradition
Then she turned up at a party wearing burgundy nail polish. And everyone who noticed immediately fainted with joy.
“Yes!” they squeaked. “She is someone the Royal Family needs — a black, American, Roman Catholic divorcee with bare legs, racy fingernails and healthy views on feminism!”
There was even a suggestion that if you looked carefully on the internet, you could find a picture of her wearing no top. Brilliant.
But then, after about seven minutes, everyone suddenly decided she’s actually a witch.
Splash News
The country literally stood still when Meghan and Prince Harry wed back in May
PA
These days, there are always those willing to have a pop at beautiful women, writes Jeremy Clarkson
First came news she’d complained about the smell in the church where she was married.
And that she’d gone out in public with a price tag still attached to her frock.
And that she was bossing Prince Harry about and having arguments with her sister-in-law.
When a couple of members of her staff announced they were leaving, everyone knew for sure this was because she is a terrible woman who sits in her kitchen every night hitting puppies over the head with a shovel.
Getty – Pool
The gloom was lifted – briefly – when Meghan and Harry announced that they were having a baby
Meghan Markle laughs and says she is ‘very pregnant’ during visit to Royal Variety care home
And all the time, we had her ridiculous father cropping up on every TV show to say he loves her and is so sad he wasn’t at the wedding and even more unhappy that she never responds to his texts.
Which, translated from media-speak, means: “I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! And can I have a bit of money, please?”
At this rate, it won’t be long before she is stripped and forced to walk naked through the streets of York while people with skin diseases chant “Shame!” and throw excrement at her.
I can’t understand why this is happening. You don’t know her. I don’t know her.
Getty Images – Getty
Ultimately, there is little evidence that Meghan and Kate Middleton are at odds with each other
Kate Middleton says she’s very excited for Meghan and Harry’s baby
So why have we all suddenly decided she should be mocked and pilloried for every little thing she ever does?
When all is said and done, she is just a very pretty girl who’s married a former Army officer who will never, ever be king.
As a result, she will have less impact on your life than your postman’s wife.
You don’t hate her. So why on earth should you hate Meghan?
Getty – Contributor
Beautiful actress Meghan is now finding out how difficult stepping into the British royal family can be
Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton brush off ‘rift’ rumours as they arrive side-by-side for Christmas Day service
It’s ridiculous, cruel and heartless — and unless she proves me wrong by going around at night urinating on homeless people, it needs to stop.
Santa’s Z-listers
Anyone who’s been paying any kind of attention over the last few days will have noticed that every single celebrity is currently on a sun-kissed beach with their bikini bottoms shoved halfway up their a**e.
I don’t get this. Christmas, New Year’s Eve and the “festive gooch” – as my son calls it – in between is a brilliant time to be at home.
BackGrid
Can’t think why celebs like Lauryn Goodman would rather sun themselves at Christmas than stay her in the cold and rain
Long, lazy days in front of the television, great food and endless trips to the pub, all garnished with a veneer of friends and family. It’s brilliant.
And I suppose if you think about it, it’s even better when you know that when you go to the supermarket, you’re not going to bump into a reality TV “star”. Because, like Lauryn Goodman, they’re all in Barbados.
What Price a new face?
BackGrid
Some might say that ‘broke’ Katie Price has got a lot of cheek
Katie Price chats to the camera as surgeon operates on her face in exclusive video
Katie Price has decided the best way to deal with her money worries and the possibility she might lose her driving licence is to . . . drum roll . . . have a face lift.
I fear this may be a mistake because in my experience, anyone who has their face moved about by a surgeon always looks worse afterwards.
What’s she done? Looked at a picture of Barry Manilow and thought, ‘Yes, that’s worked a treat’?
Penguin plan in a pickle
Over the last few years, the fish that used to swim about off the coast of southern Africa have all decided to move further south.
This has meant the number of fish-eating penguins on local beaches has fallen from more than a million to just 15,000.
E+ – Getty
Penguins appear more interested in the fish than the photo opportunities in southern Africa
Penguin chick abandoned by its mum in David Attenborough’s new BBC wildlife show Dynasties
Needless to say, local eco-mentals have decided they can address this – so they’ve built decoy penguins and are bombarding the beaches with lots of penguin squawking and squeaking.
It’s hoped real penguins will be fooled into thinking there’s a huge colony there and will come back. Where, because there are no fish, they will starve to death.
You’ve got to admire the ecos for their efforts. But sometimes you can’t help thinking the world would be a better place if they just left it alone.
Fracking ban due a shake-up
As we know, there is enough gas under the hills of Lancashire to keep everyone in Britain warm for about 1,000 years.
There is also the technology to get it out.
AP:Associated Press
In the UK, fracking is on shaky ground (if you’ll pardon the pun), writes Jeremy Clarkson
Geophysicist Heather Savage on geological connections between fracking and earthquakes
And there’s good reason, too. Because if we are producing our own gas, we aren’t reliant on Russia for supplies.
However, the fracking industry is held back by legislation saying if they cause an earthquake measuring 0.5 on the Richter scale, they must suspend all operations for the next two days. And if you want to know what an earthquake measuring 0.5 feels like, it’s simple.
Find a hardback dictionary. And drop it on the floor.
Slur’s a Brigitte too far
AFP
Mrs Macron, pictured with the French President, has come under fire for standing next to a homophobic man, writes Jeremy Clarkson
Emmanuel Macron kisses his then teacher Brigitte Trogneux who became his wife
The president of France’s wife, Brigitte Macron, is in trouble with the nation’s gays after posing for a picture with a man who is known to be rabidly homophobic.
So Mrs Macron doesn’t like gay men. Really?
Any sign of a bacon butty?
A pub manager who put up a sign in his window saying “NO VEGANS” has been slammed by vegetable enthusiasts who have climbed on to the discrimination bandwagon, saying it’s a hate crime.
No it isn’t. If you choose to spend your life eating seeds and licking rocks for moisture, you are obviously mad.
Getty – Contributor
It turns out vegetarians do have the strength to climb on the hate crime bandwagon
And no pub manager wants a raving lunatic rampaging around in the saloon.
I have a sign on my front door saying: “NO COLD-CALLERS.”
Yes, this means I’m discriminating against door-to-door salesman.
But I really don’t fancy heaving myself out of my armchair every night to be faced with a gurning imbecile who wants to sell me a rug.
Any port in a storm
I’m delighted to say that at no point over Christmas did my family bring up the subject of Brexit.
Reuters
Few were droning on about Brexit when they became stranded at Gatwick Airport
Gatwick airport chaos: ‘Drone killer’ used to fight ISIS shown in action in an army training exercise video
This is because we were all far too busy talking about the two days of chaos at Gatwick Airport.
And we all decided that by far the most likely scenario is there were no drones at all.
It was just a lot of people in high-visibility jackets saying, “I’ve just seen another one,” so they could have a day off work to do a bit of extra Christmas shopping.
Almighty is out of favour
Getty Images – Getty
You have to be sure people who seek power don’t have a God complex
Oh dear. It seems only 29 per cent of British people believe in God.
That seems very low . . . until you remember that only 27 per cent believe in Jeremy Corbyn.
Comment
THE SUN SAYS
EU citizens who have built lives in the UK must be welcomed – not threatened
Comment
BRENDAN O’NEILL
Sajid Javid is politician with guts — who stands by his words and beliefs
Comment
LEN MCKINSTRY
Will ANYONE rid us of the grotesque stealth tax of parking in a hospital?
Comment
THE SUN SAYS
Brussels have realised they’re forced to plug the gap if we leave with No Deal
Comment
THE SUN SAYS
Exercise is a more effective obesity cure than experts meddling with calories
Comment
QUENTIN LETTS
How UK will prosper after Brexit as countdown is to boom day not to doomsday
Not such a cunning plan
Worrying news from the front line. It seems Britain’s ports are seeing a huge rise in the number of clean, untraceable guns coming into the country.
Getty – Contributor
People are being shot, but let’s make sure this little chap is not harmed
This is obviously something the police must take very seriously.
But sadly, they were told this week that if Labour gets into power, they should use all their resources to catch people fox-hunting.
Sometimes you just want to give up.
Source: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/8077312/meghan-markle-wicked-witch-controversy-jeremy-clarkson/
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