#oh and also no worries everything fine
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oh i completely repressed that grief thing huh
#lmao#completely forgot about that#oh and also no worries everything fine#this is just a topic that's come up a few times and i've never actually looked into deeper even though i've been meaning to#buggy thoughts#buggy life
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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day 199
revenge!! a lil outfit swap between destiny and madeline for @meowthefluffy on artfight!
#day 199#year 5#artfight#my ocs#destiny chainsaw#meowthefluffy#REALIZING NOW. AFTER EVERYTHING. THAT I FORGOT DESTINYS HORNS. bro im gonna lose my homestuck cred come on#oh well this is why its good i made destiny a shapeshifter. i can literally always just say she shapeshifted them away.#but also i was rly focusing on her cat features anyway bc they are doing the lil nya pose together#THEY ARE BONDING OVER THE CAT STUFF NOT THE DEMON STUFF. SO ITS FINE ITS FINE THAT I FORGOT MY OWN CHARACTERS DESIGN. DONT EVEN WORRY ABT I
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom
#it's a chain place and ive been on the other side of places like this#(i wasnt an interviewer but i was friends with them)#and there at least people would show up late + in sweats for the interview and they'd get it!#they would show up with 'oh yeah interview today almost forgot' and they'd get it!#meanwhile im having a breakdown trying to do everything right and perfect#making sure i look nice but not too nice bc again its a chain fast food place and i cant try Too Hard#also these pants dont have belt loops and they tend to shift#AND my right hand is swollen from the wasp sting yesterday so im worried its gonna be 'wtf is wrong with you'#but also shouldn't it say something that im here anyway even though i could have rescheduled#but then its like... im not gonna kill myself for this place like i did at mcd and does it give that impression?#or should i have rescheduled bc they'll think it's bad decision making to come anyway with my hand swollen#also worried that i should have parked nearby and come over closer to the time bc am i the freak sitting in the parking lot#but at least im early! but am i too early? but im out here not rushing them. but should i be so they know I Am Interested#not to even mention wtf im gonna say to them to explain my employment gap#and im so paranoid that im gonna go in and say im there for an interview and they're gonna be like ???#bc it was through an automatic text/email thing when i applied#which was how my last job happened but idk. maybe im an idiot and it's all fake so they can point and laugh#and i KNOW thats ridiculous. but that's how it feels rn.#also im worried they'll ask if i want something to eat/drink and i dont know the right answer#like i feel like i should say yes bc what do you mean you wont eat here? but the wrong thing means im taking advantage#and how will i be if im actually working there?#and its all so dumb bc#AGAIN people roll out of bed confident and they're fine. meander their way through and theyre fine. theres no reason to think i wont be#but ANXIETY#its gonna be an out of body experience no matter what and later I'll wonder about all the things i dont remember#if i fucked up or not#and now i have to go in bc it's 7 minutes until my time and i want to be a little early but not too much#fuck#wish me luck#ks talks
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There are so many lines in the Hunger Games AU I love but also THIS TAG: he has to write the girl's name on his hand so he doesnt forget it If you ever expand this I will be sooooo excited. The tone and dark Anakin is just A+++
hunger games au anakin is like the most tunnel vision anakin ever he is like “you are not integral to my love story I don’t even know who you are” he kills like 10 people the first day he’s known as the Betrayer because he makes a bunch of Allies before going into the arena and kills them all
Some guy from district 1 captures the girl from anakin’s district and tries to use her as leverage like “if you take a step closer I’ll slit her throat you wouldn’t risk that would you? Not your love!”
and anakin probably like covered with the blood of other tributes is like (deadpan) “you kill her, you die” (telling a fact not dependent on the implied if but just a statement of events)
and the girl is like no don’t do it he won’t care (telling the truth)
But obviously the other guy has heard so much about their romance that he really thinks he has the upper hand and then anakin takes a step forward, and the guy solves a lot of anakins problems right then and there 😌
Especially when he dies and there’s only a few other players left in the game (you know, 2 days in)
#asks#hunger games au#also the scene where anakin asks obi-wan not to watch his games#and obi-wan is like I’m your mentor I have to watch#and anakin is like just remember everything I do I do for you#andobi-wan thinks the guilt may kill him when he’s watching#but he can’t help but feel happy that anakin is going to come back#because obiwan suffered ok anakin was supposed to be his nice thing#also lol imagine tue district 1 guy like just slightly cuts her throat#and anakin is like oh no my beloved don’t worry#i can’t see you in pain. mercy kill.#and the girl is like I’m fine! barely bleeding#and anakin is like 😌mercy 😌kill#obikin
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damn it feels so good to actually have friends who i feel safe around. like to have friends who im not worried that if they find out that i like "cringe" things they wont judge me. woah!!
@angry-avaocardo @silly1xxx @gollyimsosoevil
#appreciation post for my besties✨✨#also the tags got reallylong and rambly just me complainign about the ex friend and a quick update so feell free not to read them if you#dont wanna#theres nothing of substance in there lol#ugh god my old friend the one i made the really long post about asking for advice#i probably mentioned this but i never felt safe to talk about things i like with them#oh god i would never be able to show them defrag#and i probably wouldnt even be willing to ramble about like. the arg or smth to them#id be too worried of them making fun of me#but also they had a way of making it so i hung out with them the most even tho i didnt want to#“me and friend are going to the canteen you two wanna come?”#“[with none of my input] no me and Charlie are staying here”#the only person i felt safe talking about my interests to was a friend that i made when trying to move away frrom the toxic one#a friend who they would consistently ask if i was replacing them with and was so fucking jealous of him#in fact that friend is gollyimsoevil yea that guy#hes great he likes gay addison shit so yk bestie#also they were so good at guilt tripping that now i use their guilt tripping tactics on myself to try and get myself to do things lol#and they would make fun of me so often but GOD FORBID I MAKE FUN OF THEM#they were making fun of me to another person a few /years/ ago so i made some snarky comment about them#because i was really upset by them making fun of me#and they brought it up to me like 2 months ago before we cut them off#like dude you mock and make fun of everything i do so much that ive just stopped talking and completely zoned out whenever im around you#and youre holding some snarky remark that i made when we were like 11 /because you were making fun of me/#UGH#oh ye update on that if anyone cares it went fine they seem to have moved on and are just hanging out with different people now#they havent made any attempt to contact any of us but also havent cut us off#i havent cut them off either ive just left it#i catch them giving me and the other two friends who used to be friends with them dirty looks#but i kinda just ignore it#i have like 5 friends my age who are much much much nicer than them
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University ever pushes you so low you have to go buy a couple of beers? /srs/neg
I'm gonna vent in the tags for a moment humor me for once /gen
#No but I'm serious this place is a nightmare /neg#Venting in the tags#humor me for a second. you go to this uni and they promise you a place that will teach you how to become an artist#on both like. morality and skill level. they feed you with bullshit for MONTHS. “oh mistakes are fine! they make you grow!”#or “oh this is a community we work all together there are no discriminations this is a safe place to learn and improve”#and we like. work on this projects - THAT WE ARE NOT PAID TO WORK FOR SO *WE* GET TO PAY FOR ALL THE MATERIALS AND SHIT FOR THEM.#to like “help the community” or whatevrr because “artists are born to inspire others and bring joy” and blah blah blah. BUT. LIKE. THE THING#THE THING IS. NONE OF THESE PROJECTS WILL END UP ON OUR CURRICULUMS. WHAT WE WORK 6-7 YEARS FOR ARE NOT SEEN AS REAL EXPERIENCES.#AS IF WE'VE DONE LITERALLY NOTHING FOR 6-7 YEARS. AND LIKE. THE PROFESSORS ARE SO RACIST AND DISCRIMINATORY AS WELL.#If they don't like you they WON'T EVEN GIVE YOU THE EXAM. BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY TO DEMONSTRATE IF YOU WORKED OR NOT. IT'S UP TO THEM.#THEY DECIDE EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE AS IF WE ARE SOME SORT OF FUCKING COMMUNIST KINDA BULLSHIT WORKERS.#Someone fucks up? *WE* FUCK UP AND EVERYONE PAYS. Someone succeeds? *WE* SUCCEED AND EVERYONE GETS THE CREDITS.#THIS IS ALSO WHY NONE OF THE WORKS WE DO END UP IN OUT CURRICULUM BECAUSE ITS MADE SO THAT *THE UNIVERSITY COURSE* DID IT AND NOT *US*.#IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT AND I CAN'T EVEN GET OUT OF THERE BECAUSE IF I DO MY PARENTS WILL KICK ME OUT CUZ THEY DON'T WANT ME TO BE AN ARTIST#So I'm trying to STUDY for the exams and the “professors” are getting mad at me that I'm not staying 10 HOURS IN THAT MOTHERFUCKING ART LAB.#WORKING AT THEIR NONSENSE PROJECTS THAT WILL NOT END UP IN MY CURRICULUM.#“Oh if you're not willing to put all your efforts for the course this is not the place for you” BITCH I *AM* PUTTING ALL MY EFFORTS!#THIS EXAM IS *LITERALLY* PART OF THE COURSE!! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING BULLSHIT ARGUMENT IS THAT!!!!!#Istg I'm gonna cry I want to kms /NOT SERIOUS#I'm gonna cook dinner. chug my lemon beer. and try to study like a normal person and beg this shit will end soon#Don't worry I'm not going to become an alcoholic I just need something. anything and I'm ABSOLUTELY not gonna start smoking I hate it /srs#tw alchohol mention#alcohol mention#tw smoking mention#smoking mention#vent#tw vent#// mike speaks
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funeral? more like funer-L hahaa. i apolocheese
#my art#meteorblaze art#evere#dnd art#dnd character#cnd#oh funeral session…. my babygirl#also eveys outfit fucking slayed#idgaf#like yeah they experiencedthe horrors but also she looked beautiful so really she won#loke come on babygirl it’s literally fine#stop sobbing crying shitting yourself youre literally besutiful#like yeah you just learned everything you did to fix yourself was worthless#bc there is no miraculous cure for this#but you were still fucking SLAYINGGGGGGGGG#so 🤷♀️#swag ever bbg dont even worry about it
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fuck.
#atlas tag rants#atlas rants#it hurts hurts hurts in this stupid fucking brain#everything would've been fine but I had to do stupid things as usual#and now I'm here wishing i had some healthy way to cope#i was going to throw myself into something social but voice-call breakdowns really aren't my desired outcome#not when the only friend I regularly voice-call with anymore is also having a fucky night#i hurt and i want to do something dramatic but i can't because all the dramatic things are either permanent or have long-term repercussions#and I don't need that right now#THANK FUCKING GOD I HAVE THERAPY TOMORROW#god#I was having a fine night; a little worried about the vc/gaming buddy#but that was about it.#and then#of#course#I had to see something adn have stupid thoughts about it and i just#i don't want to think#i don't want to feel#i want to cry and scream and take my anger/frustration out on something#but i know what that would be for me and I can't#and I just.#HWY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS#WHY CANT I JUST REGULATE NORMALLY#oh fuck things got wooshy#i might be dissociating#when i said I didn't want ot feel i didn't mean in that way oh my god#god fuck this shit#I'm done#I'll be safe but I think I'm going to go find something else to do
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mental illness
#i think. uhm i think and this isn’t good#but i think my recent lows are like. affecting everything including my ocs#a ‘nobody will ever be able to love me’ is also turning into a#‘nobody will ever be able to love my characters’ kinda thing#i have this thing where i just randomly decide nobody likes me out of nowhere and just disappear because i think it’s ‘for the better’#which obviously. this is not true. i know it’s not. but it’s still a thing that just happens sometimes#especially lately my emotions have been all over the place. there’s just a lot of loneliness but then i let myself be lonely because#some part of me still thinks i deserve it#not good! it’s not guys it’s not sooo good#granted ive had a busy last week so naturally i didn’t get to interact with my friends a lot#i forgor where i was going with this#anyways recent worries of me being unlovable have transferred to my ocs#i don’t think they have what it takes to be loved just like i don’t have what it takes to beloved#like father like child kinda thing#oh well it’ll get better some time i’m sure!#i’m confident that this will pass but for now i’ll just have to live through it. which is fine!#dios wisdom#vent#rant#i suppose
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I need to go. Store.
#i need another suit case#and i have to buy formal clothes. for the job that im getting fired from. like i literally only have one or two days left (they still#havnt actually told me the day l o l) but i have to fucking show up in formal clothes so that they can take pictures even though im not even#gonna BE there :(#i wanna get candy for my students too.#and i still need to have lesson plans for my last day.#my new job is live streaming so that should be fun but the set up gives me the hebbie jeebies cajse of past shit so im a little worried.#should be fine though.#im a little shook up. today. im hoping ill feel better.#life is quiet though. its calm.#but i need to pack all my shit up and clean.#my mom is coming in a week or so. she wont be here for Halloween thankfully#i dont know what to do with my self. idk if ive ever been this. awake. before.#usually i watch over the garden wall and make my self some soup or something on my birthday. and just do my best to ignore everything#but its just. its fine. ill be fine nothing js really that bad. it just feels that way.#oh im gonna go find some alter wrote forever ago i think that will help.#i need to go to the store#i miss a person whos never existed#maybe ill actually be able to settle in to my new job#i also want to start taking Mandarin lessons. but i keep forgetting
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so anyway I took another look at the old hatefic which went on pause because the source material is actually unredeemable but I still really stand by all the bits I added and the ocs and the concept overall so here's what I'm thinking:
actually go through and check which lines are mine and which are sourced so I can be sure I'm not plagiarising any phrasing. it's unlikely bc I remember really hating the source writing style and rewriting lots of entire scenes to be less painful to me but I need to be sure
rework some of the characters and setting to actually work for me, which also gives me tons of leeway for the plot stuff too. scrap anyone who isn't an oc and create ocs to replace anyone who's still necessary
figure out what's going on with all the characters who don't take off on a trauma bonding camping trip
figure out what the actual plot is. there's enough foreshadowing I didn't bother to figure out the meaning of that I should be able to do that, especially since I no longer have to be in any way beholden to the source worldbuilding
assess how gay it is and then make it gayer
#don't worry I can't actually dedicate time to this until after I finish dealing with everything else#this is lower priority than going on forever or Jane Eyre Monster Hunter or gay summertime or even rewriting haven#it's lower priority than finishing rewriting ourselves and immortality for sure and screwball gods might take priority too#and divine justice#and also I need to finish reading and commenting on tori's library ghost murder book which I can't remember the title of atm#so like. this won't be soon. I am. letting it stew in my brain while I'm thinking of it though#in case a plot rises fully formed from the goop#as one does#it's fine I know none of you are like. on tenterhooks waiting for this#oh underworld summer that's what else is definitely higher in priority#and also the Kinyarwanda-English reference book although I guess that's going to be a long ongoing process for a while#I'd say that spores and symbioses is also more important but let's be honest will I ever get to that#OH GODS I FORGOT ABOUT ALICE AND KINGSLEY that's also up there#convenient highwayman might be on indefinite hold though so that's something#gods I really do just pile these on huh#if I ever get it together and write all these novels it's over for you bitches
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hi all, i’m sorry to say this is my last post here on tumblr. i’ll be leaving my blog up for people to read my fics and see my art and stuff, but this is goodbye. to all my mutuals, friends and followers, thank you so much for everything. everything i’ve experienced on here really means a lot to me and i’m sending my love to you all!
💌🍒
#and pls don’t worry im doing fine!!!#just ready to leave this chapter of my life!#if anyone wants to talk longer you can dm your discord user!#thank u again for everything my lovies 🩷❤️🩷❤️#oh!#also still gonna read all the soft smut fics that were recommended to me ^^ i’ve got them all queued up to boost!!!!
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ok another thing about writing fanfic, it’s so crazy prewriting a recovery fic.
Because like right now I’m about eight chapters ahead of where I’m posting, that way I have a good edit buffer in case I accidentally write myself into a plot hole or something. I think it’s a good strategy, really helps me personally with both motivation and pacing.
But it’s also so weird because I’ll write a chapter, then go back to edit the next one to post and look at my characters and it’s like OH. OH. I forgot this was where you were. I forgot just how far you’ve come in eight chapters. I forgot just how broken you were. I promise there’s light. You’re not all the way there yet, but you’ll make it. You will. There’s still hope, I promise.
#I mean you’ve still got a long way to go even from where I am in writing but STILL#there is progress#it also makes the comments more fun#I keep having to check that I’ve posted the right chapters because DANG my readers keep noticing where I’m going with this thing#there’s still a few things they’ve missed though and oh HO I’m excited for them to realize there’s still a Plot going on in the background#anyways#fanfiction#fanfic#writing#writing fanfic#x men#xmen fanfic#yes this is Weapon by Name again#there’s like four people on this site that are reading this fic i think#so I’m hi y’all if you see this just don’t worry about what’s happening in the fic#everything’s definitely fine
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..
#god im so sorry for vènting so damn much there is something so wrong with my head right now#every bit of positive attention ive gotten recently or even just attention in general sometimes has made me want to shed my skin#and on top of that there are Things in my head and i am worried it may be ********* but im too frightened to do any sort of research into i#but also hooo boy do i feel like im faking because like jet come on thats a trauma thing. you just kinda got yelled at SHUT UP YOURE FINE#and thats probably the biggest thing fucking me up right now because like im probably wrong but what if im right. dear fuck what then.#ànd also im scared to talk about it with anyone that does experience ********* because i feel so shitty insinuating that i went through#something like that when i know damn well i didnt#like oh wow you had a weird childhood ok jet get fucked everyones got a weird childhood#anyway. i need to like#talk to a stranger with ********* so im not so grossly embarrassed maybe#fuck#also lìke i just wanna stop talking to everyone but i started a zine and i cant abandon that and its upsetting me#like i need to fade into nothingness but i cant right now :/#anyway . desr lord why am i like this. what is inside me. what is going on.#delete later#jet maybe you need to get hit real hard by a car and that will do a hard reset and everything will be ok#vent#ALSO MY PARTNER IS GŔADUATING AND I CANT FUCKING BE THERE.#was litèrally sobbing over that this morning. i am so proud of them and they look so happy but also i cant be there#all i want is to hug them and congŕatulate them in person and give them a big bouquet of flowers but NO.#anyway. UGH.
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