#oh actually i think i read an interview with the writer about that ep around that time and she said some stupid shit i didn't like

[autumnrory]

“time’s up ruined chardee” y’all are letting bad writing ruin ships for you?

[cutegirlmayra]

I know you did a prompt a while ago about Amy having a fan and Sonic told him to basically get lost. So could you do something like that but make the guy feel more entitled to Amy and she owes him her love. And when she rejects him he gets really aggressive so it justifies Sonic being more aggressive in turn? I love how your depict protective Sonic soooo cute!

So, I have MANY jealous and protective Sonamy stories XD Shifting through them, I think you meant this one? (x) For future reference, if any of you lovely Anons want to maybe just... link?... the actual prompt I would be very much appreciative since I have over 900+ lol

(Preview prompt image provided by ArtsyAnnieRose (x) Please support the artist :)b)

As I mentioned when reviewing this Prompt on my youtube --> Pajama Blogs Ep. 1 Prompt Requests (x) Timecode: - 54:21 - I try and not do the same prompt twice, which means I like to rewrite things so that I don’t just keep making the same stories for different requests. So with this one, I’ve thought a lot about how to present it, and I think this will be fun! (Also, side note: I’m not making this cute and parody-like, I’ve changed my mind XD I have the right to do that! lol)

***TRIGGER WARNING***: (now you know it’s gonna get good.) I have subtly littered red flags throughout this story, if you have experienced stalking or manipulation strategies in your life please be aware they will be showing up in this fic. Due to the subtle nature of these traits, please be informed that I am in no way trying to downplay the danger of these situations, but showing that to the main character currently in these situations, her view of them is naïve and she sees no danger. Therefore, the gravity of the situation seems friendly and kind, but in no form am I saying these techniques are alright or acceptable. The ‘stranger’ character in this story is a creep, no matter how ‘charming’ or ‘sweet’ he may be portrayed in the innocent main character’s view. (If I write this correctly, hopefully, that message will be more clearer towards the end of the story.) I encourage any who recognize these toxic behaviors to please question your relationship with that individual and find safe, healthy relationships to pursue/keep instead. Whether your relationship with these kinds of people are platonic, friendship, or romantic in nature--please keep yourselves, families, friends, and other such loved ones safe. I will not be listing or detailing all occurrences of these moments within the story; however, with some psychology basics or google searching, you can find these common red flags or complexed manipulation strategies and how to better identify them.

Prompts are on shutdown! Do not send in any prompt requests at this time. Thank you!

Okay... let’s dive right in.

                                                 DIVE, DIVE, DIVE.

Note: This is another unconventional, more mature-themed story that I- well...

But my hope is that it’s still a story worth telling, so if you choose to, please enjoy.

Prompt:

Upon a rather dark and greying sky, as though the mentions of brief rainfall and storm weren’t apparent, many citizens in this bustling city were making their usual rounds around the mall. Carrying a thin jacket with an umbrella’s strap swinging at her side, Amy light-heartedly mused over a recent magazine’s article on the most eligible men, and read the chatty writer’s remarks on how Sonic The Hedgehog seemed to be away when the interviews for them were called.

She thought that so like Sonic, always away, but secretly just close enough to still keep tabs on what’s going on with the many locations in the world.

Eggman seemed to have a base everywhere, and while things had been pretty quiet as of late, she looked up from her magazine and once again wondered where in the wide, blue world he could be.

Was he bored? Off on another adventure? ... Napping? Eating? Was he eating enough?

She sighed with a dreamy look on her face, lost in her thoughts before a stranger flicked his wrist as he approached her, and a charging wind blasted in her direction. Blowing her back, it swiftly hit against her loosely closed umbrella, since Amy wanted to be prepared for any sudden downpour, and triggered it’s spring to further yank her back.

“Ah!” Amy tried to turn around to catch herself, the strap around her wrist forcing the sudden about-face as she grabbed her umbrella’s long steel pole to try and counter the pull.

“Woah!” the stranger that was passing her from the front suddenly stumbled at the sight and quickly rushed behind her, leaning over and grabbing where her hand was on the open umbrella as the wind suddenly stopped. His hand lingered by her side as though to brace with her and help, before noticing the wind stop and looking dumbfounded at the umbrella.

There was a silence as Amy felt the stranger was almost holding her, and turned to him with blinks, “Heh-heh... umm... Thank you.” her body was bent as she tried to use her heels against the pavement to counter-force the sudden rush of heavy wind, but with it’s immediate halt, she stepped forward and away from the strange, intimate moment to close her umbrella.

He stood more straighter, fixing himself up too before smiling kindly to her, “Does this happen to you often? Sudden, emmmm...” He swirled his palm-facing upwards hands around as he held the long, hummed note. “Bursts of photo-aesthetic air through your hair?”

Amy chuckled lightly, briefly looking back at him before continuing to fix her umbrella, worried it may be broken as the spring wasn’t going down well enough. Realizing it was probably jammed, she blew up some air to her bangs, figuring the worst, “Yeah, real convenient for a photoshoot. Maybe the photographer will settle for a water effect?” she gestured humorously up to the clouds, “All I need is a chair,” she teased, “Thanks again for the help. Really! You came out of nowhere!”

“Much like wind.” He joked back, putting his hands in his pockets, tilting his head to her. “You... wouldn’t mind if I take in the view of that shot, would you?”

“Huh?” she didn’t quite understand what he was making reference to.

He smiled as if realizing she didn’t get it and shook his head, “Nothing, nevermind. I’m clearly wasting your time,” he took out his own umbrella, looked at her a moment, then back to it. His long, brown and heavy jacket then flopped back to his side as he offered her it, “No offense, but I did just meet you. I would offer you my umbrella, but I’m worried I may never see it again. However, I have a solution,” He opened the umbrella and then gestured his hand to a restaurant near him. “So that we’re not strangers anymore, and I can trust you with something so dearly precious to me as an old, fifty cent umbrella I literally picked up from a second-hand store... might I entreat you to a meal?”

Amy smiled, relieved he was being so gentlemanly. “I wouldn’t mind at all!” she cheerily perked up, looking at her umbrella and tossing it in a garbage can. “I’m Amy,” She took his hand, curtseying. “Amy Rose.”

She did notice he was probably older than her, but he did a little bow and she realized she hadn’t notice his real height until his eyes matched her level. He held his eyes with her sights... and she wondered why he was pausing so long, “I know...” He finally whispered out, tilting his umbrella over her head, “You’re pretty famous, you know. Anyone would be lucky to help you out in a pinch. I’m Oscar, I work around here.”

Guiding her into the outdoor restaurant, he sat her at one of the white tables with it’s own umbrella on it and closed his, settling down on the opposite side of her. “Well, then! Do you mind this spot?”

“Oh, it’s my favorite, actually!” Amy chimed, knowing the location very well.

“Really?” He seemed a little less intrigued at that than Amy would have normally supposed someone would, but then after putting his umbrella away, leaned forward as though very attentive and putting his fingers together, his elbows on the wooden round table of white and letting his nose press down against his hands. He had gotten comfortable, and Amy, thinking this was his way of showing interest in what she meant, continued to sweetly respond.

“This is so funny, but I come here almost every Thursday and Friday for the new deals at my favorite store! I usually order the same thing too,... I really love ice cream.” Amy felt a strange new energy at meeting someone for the first time, and continued to feel refresh at this new-found friendship.

“Ice cream? No way! That’s my favorite too!” Oscar parted his fingers as though excited to hear this. “I have a sweet tooth. I know, I know, so silly of a man like me.”

“Oh, no! Not at all!” Amy waved her hands out, “What’s your favorite kind?”

“Well,...” He thought a moment, before smiling back to her and holding a wink, “I have an idea, you tell me yours first. I bet it’s probably very different.”

“I’m a simple girl, Vanilla is mostly my cup of tea. But... whenever I’m feeling adventurous, I go for it! Scoops of Vanilla and Chocolate with some random new flavor of mint or cookie flavored and then I top it with all sorts of stuff!”

He coughed as though shocked, “...That’s literally my favorite too!”

“What!?” Amy was excited to hear this, “I thought I was the only one that eccentric!”

“I know! That’s why I thought your answer would be completely different!” As Oscar continued to review Amy’s interests, he kept nodding along and reaffirming that they shared many similar interest and hobbies before the waiter appeared. “I love to chase certain thrills and excitements. I’m sure, being an adventurer, I figured that may be the reason why you place yourself in such perilous circumstances as well.”

“Your orders, lady? Sir?” The waiter asked, trying to kindly cut in as Oscar pulled out his wallet.

“Strawberry sunday with a hint of vanilla, you?” he looked back to her.

“Ha! That’s my Thursday order!” she giggled into her hand, “Same here, please!”

He shook his head, a little theatrically, “It’s almost like... where have you been all my life?”

“I mean, I know, right!? And you work around here! That’s so weird that I’ve never seen you before... where-”

“Ah, there’s really nothing interesting about me. I’m much more fascinated in the adventures you take. What with your friends always weighing you down and everything.” He basically ignored the waiter as he tried to ask any follow-up questions, and Amy just looked between the two and then smiled politely to the waiter, showing that that was all they were going to have.

“Weighing me down..? Oh no, without Sonic and the others, I couldn’t do anything as big as saving the world! We all need each other, you know?” She happily confirmed before he spoke again, sighing.

“I guess they would have you think that way, huh?” a offhanded comment that made Amy’s eyebrows furrow, but she just continued to speak about the wonderful traits and abilities of her friends, in which case, he kept shaking his head as though she was wrong.

“What?” She finally asked, “You don’t seem to like Sonic, Tails, or Knuckles...”

“I just think you could do with some different friends.” He shrugged, “Some that wouldn’t constantly leave you behind or undergrade your merit.” In that moment, the waiter came back to place down their orders.

“U-undergrade..?” She looked down a moment, “N-no, no one’s holding me back or anything. I choose how I help out, I can’t always keep up with Sonic and the others so-” she stopped a second and shook her head, getting frustrated, “I-I mean, I can go with them whenever I want!” she retorted, and noticing her shift in demeanor, he took some ice cream and then held out his hand.

“Oh no, no, no. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to imply you couldn’t keep up. I meant that you’re invaluable and they don’t treat you as such. But don’t worry, I’m here now, and I’ll show you how a true heroine should be treated. This meal is on me.” he gestured to her ice cream, “After this, I’ll show you some places that you probably haven’t been to before.”

“O-oh... T-That does sounds exciting!”

For a few weeks after that, Amy began to hang out with Oscar frequently. They would text back and forth, and she couldn’t help but smile when he always called her beautiful and made her feel so special. However, although the places they first went to weren’t so bad... he started showing her back alleyways with clubs and other ‘themed’ places that made her slightly uneasy.

She knew he was older than her, but would decline any invitation if he stated, “But I know a guy, he’ll let you in.” and continued to protest and remind him of her age.

That being said, the parks were lovely though!

He would often bring her little gifts and flowers too, stating that the next time she came with him, he’d bring some home-made food and had a habit of patting her head or brushing something off her hair if it landed on her. Though, Amy never noticed the ‘leaf’ that had fallen on her shoulder, or the ‘bug’ that was buzzing around her headband.

He also would usually lead her when they walked and talked, if they came to a corner, he would lightly put his hand to her back, until one time she mentioned his hand went just slightly lower than normal and he apologized profusely.

All was going very well, he even carried her bags and offered to take them home with her, but she insisted she would take the train and that he needn’t worry.

Finally, on a Friday when she was heading down for her sale, texting Oscar, a familiar wind picked up and almost brought up her dress.

“Oh, look out!” Oscar appeared and grabbed her dress, pushing it down. “Phew! Close one, aye?”

“W-where did you come from?” Amy adjusted her dress as he held his hands to the rim of her dress still, but when she looked up at him, he immediately released them.

“I suppose I just naturally come when you need me.” he scratched the back of his head, looking away as though shy. “I don’t know... sometimes, I can’t sit still, I get this feeling like you need me, and lo and behold!” He gestured to her, “You really do need someone looking after you twenty-four seven, huh?” he squatted down to look up at her, then his face turned to concern. “It’s a shame you don’t have anyone to look after you... especially in moments like this.”

“W-what are you talking about? I have Sonic!” Amy placed her Miles-Electric away and gestured for him to stand upright, but instead, he took her hands and placed them on his cheeks, acting cute but a lot younger than he actually was.

“But he didn’t save you, I did~” he whined, squishing her hands to his cheeks and rotating them around as she thought him slightly weird and took them away, pushing him back as he stumbled. “H-hey!”

“Oh, you! Sonic is just the same way! He can’t sit still when he senses someone needs him... hey, that reminds me of my article...” Amy remembered the magazine she was subscribed too, and looked over to see that within his usual trench coat, was a page of that article sticking out. “Ah!” She pointed to it, amazed, “You read ‘Famous Quips’ too!?!”

“Doesn’t everyone?” he seemed to speak quickly, before shoving the magazine back in deeper. “Ehem, kinda a girlie magazine... promise not to tell anyone? I don’t wanna lose my street-cred!”

She laughed, “You are like Sonic! Always acting so cool...” she shook her head and took his arm, what she had started doing since he offered it so many times, and they walked down the street.

He bought anything her eye rested on, which made her beg him to at least let her pay for food, as he mentioned a concert happening at the club he kept trying to get her to go to.

“Come on, you’ll love this band! We adore the same music too! I know a perfect spot in the back where no one will see us and the bouncer is my friend!” his voice was enthusiastic, nudging her every now and then with his elbow as she looked away and rolled her eyes. “You’re not a babe anymore, Amy! You’re gonna end up going to clubs eventually, might as well be with someone you know, right?”

“I don’t know...” Amy looked down,... and he gently stopped walking to look away from her.

“...Do you not trust me?”

“W-what?” Amy let go of his arm, “What do you mean? Of course I do!” she was very hurt by his accusation, “I mean, we’ve hung out so much, I just don’t really think clubbing is my thing...”

“You never want to do what I suggest.” He looked down, “I go to your favorite store with you and help you bargain hunt, I take you around the park... I’m just saying, the one time I want to go and do something, you keep saying no.” he folded his arms, and Amy began to panic that he was really offended by her.

“T-that’s not true, Oscar! I...” she looked away a moment, and he looked back at her.

“...Ah, I can’t stay mad at you.” He pulled her into a hug, holding her there. He took a deep breath, “I’m sorry, hey, let’s go get ice cream and talk about it later, okay? I’ll pay again.”

Her eyes shifted about, not sure what that was all about. “N-no, I’ll pay.” she tried to move away but kept an arm around her and led her on.

“I wouldn’t be considered a man if I let the woman pay!” he insisted, and ended up paying for the meal.

As it got late, he offered to carry her bags home again, and whined in a goofy way when she kept saying it was too late to have guests over, but maybe sometime.

“If you won’t see the concert with me, at least take me to your place sometime. It’s the least you could do for me.” He gave her the bags, then stroked her hair again, “You really shouldn’t be taking the train at night, you never know what sicko might be on it. You’re tough, Amy dear, but you’re still a girl and you know how you’re prone to cause problems.” he laughed, but that stung Amy’s pride a bit.

She held her bags and looked away a moment, “...Is that... how I come off to people?”

“Oh sure!” he then continued to stroke her head, “...You ... didn’t notice?”

“...That I look weak?” Amy shook her head and he instinctively removed his hand.

He held it in the air a moment, before letting it rest on Amy’s head again, as though realizing she wasn’t doing that to make him stop.

“No... the part where I... gave you a new nickname.” He smiled, tenderly and squatted down to her level again, keeping his hand on her head. “Amy dear. I think it’s cute!”

“...O-oh, I mean, I don’t really like how it could appear though.” Amy had a bead of sweat form and he abruptly got up, looking upset.

“Don’t like how it could appear!? What does that mean!?” He snapped.

She flinched at his sudden uproar, as he grabbed a bag from her, “I’ve been wanting to introduce the nickname to you all day! And that’s how you think about it!?” he looked as though he was going to either smash or rip the bag, but just looked furiously away from her, “I thought about it a lot, you know! It was suppose to mean something!”

Amy grew slightly afraid, but not taking this sudden mood-swing again, she opened her mouth to say something.

He interjected and looked dead in her face, “You really don’t trust me, do you, Amy?”

Thinking she didn’t want to hurt him, she shook her head, “I-I never said that!”

“Don’t yell at me,” he looked downhearted suddenly, even though she wasn’t raising her voice that much, not like he was.

“I’m not-”

“You are, and it’s really making me feel like you’re just... you don’t consider me a friend. I told you people usually reject me,... I was vulnerable to you!”

“Oscar, calm down a moment and-”

“You’re the one who’s not ‘calming down’ you can’t do a single thing I want to do! You’re being... selfish!” he flopped the bag down in front of her, startling her as he took off stomps and a hissy-fit.

Not able to process that sudden shift in behavior, Amy was lost to her thoughts and... slowly... proceeded to get the bag and head to the train station.

Numerous texts came flooding in that week as she hadn’t gone back to the plaza and mall, and she kept wondering how he knew she wasn’t there. They had hung out multiple times, maybe he was just expecting another hang out without actually asking this time...

Still, she felt somewhat obliged to text back: Sorry, I’ll see you Friday. This Thursday, I just felt sick.

Oscar: Do you need anything? Send me your address, I’ll bring you medicine and make you some food! I really am sorry if I scared you, I shouldn’t have done that. You’re beautiful and I’m just insecure. You know how I can be, just like you, I get really attached to people and just want to be accepted. I’m really sorry, please don’t not see me again! I promise I’ll get myself under control, we’ll do whatever you want to do this time! Honest!

Amy didn’t text back...

Oscar: The concert is next Friday, I won’t mention it again but... it would be really awesome if we could see Pop Pinkies together... I know it’s my favorite band and our favorite music is what they play so... just think about it at least, alright?

That Friday, Amy was wearing something that made her almost blend in with the crowd. Unlike her usual bubbly skip in the streets, she was hiding beneath her umbrella and coat, as though not wanting to be spotted.

A sudden burst of wind and she panicked, darting behind a corner and putting her umbrella away. “Dumb wind.” she mumbled, looking around to make sure Oscar wasn’t there...

The wind suddenly shifted as she poked her head out, “That’s odd, wind doesn’t usually change direction unless...” she turned and gasped as she saw Sonic, leaning his head towards her and looking confused.

“...Since when did you start taking the back-alley ways? Don’t you know that’s dangerous, Amy?” He blinked, furrowing his brow as he straightened up and folded his arms, “Heh, long time no-”

Amy’s mind was suddenly triggered by something Oscar had said, and she tuned out Sonic completely, her world going dark...

“I just think you could do with some different friends. Some that wouldn’t constantly leave you behind or undergrade your merit.”

“You’re tough, Amy dear, but you’re still a girl and you know how you’re prone to cause problems.“

“Is that... really how I appear to you?” Amy’s voice quaked as she spoke it, “Do I really look weak... even to you?”

Sonic was taken aback by the tears forming in her eyes, and immediately dropped the friendly banter, “Amy? What’s wrong? Weak?” he didn’t know where she got that notion from. “N-no, I-... Amy, is something wrong?” he moved forward to reach for her but pulled away, something Amy wasn’t used to as she really did--for a brief moment--think he was going to place his hand on her head.

Almost as if expecting that, she leaned her head in a strange way and then back, not sure why she did that.

He didn’t notice the action though, but she hugged herself, also remembering that after the light head pats was usually a strong and forceful embrace...

“...Amy?” she hadn’t responded to him, and now, Sonic was noticing a very clear change in Amy.

“N-no, of course you wouldn’t think that... I’m sorry, I really don’t... I don’t want to be around people right now.” she looked away, “I... I made someone feel really bad and I don’t know what to do.”

“Really? What did you do?” Sonic lifted his hand and she immediately looked at it, which made him pause. “...Umm... I was just gesturing... Amy...” His ears bent back, not sure why she looked so squarely at his hand. “Is everything okay?”

She really thought he was offering her hand, but she didn’t want to take it... not this time.

“I made a new friend, and he’s mad at me. I’m worried... if I hurt him again, he’ll really be in a bad emotional state, and it’ll be all my fault.” Amy put her umbrella up and started to walk away from Sonic, “I want to take a new route, I didn’t even want to come out today...”

“...Amy, you don’t control this new friend’s behavior, they do.” Sonic corrected her and walked beside her, focusing heavily on the signs of uncomfortability Amy was showing. “...What happened with this ‘new friend’ of yours?” He directly asked, and Amy relayed to him how she met him, then how he liked all the things she liked and agreed with everything in the beginning, how charming he was before the more time she spent with him, he seemed to change and start acting funny... but not in the good way.

“...He likes everything you like?” Sonic lowered his head a little, honing in on some things Amy briefly mentioned.

“Yeah, isn’t that crazy? He’s a guy but he totally loves sweet things and a popular girl’s magazine I enjoy.” Amy smiled, closing her eyes as though cheering up when thinking about it.

“...And he knew your order before you even made it?” Sonic folded his arms, putting two and two together.

“Yeah...” Amy suddenly slowed down in her steps, her eyes widening.

Sonic closed his eyes, matching her speed as he began to help her focus on the more important parts of her story, “And this... strange wind that passes by here... only comes at you and blows your dress up or opens your umbrella?”

She stopped.

He continued to walk, “And you say he works around here... which means he may have seen you come and go multiple times... and probably watched you ordered and heard what you liked, and saw what you read, and knew about you from the news and press... he disliked your friends and took you places and then entitled himself to being in charge over your Thursday and Friday venues... then, to really top it all off with the icing on the cake and all that jazz... he’s been insisting you go to a adult-themed club with him and throws a tissy-fit when you say no?”

Sonic stopped, his fists had already tightened into such hard balls of fury that he had to take silent deep breaths just to contain himself.

“And worst of all... he’s tried to copy me and put it in your mind that your friends don’t respect you the way we should... isolating you,” He put out a finger, “Grooming and manipulating you... Amy, you should have written this guy the moment he snapped at you... and probably sooner, but I’ll take that as you were just seeing the best sides of him... and not the dirty kind.” he didn’t turn around, but he felt Amy lingering behind him and knew if he said anymore, she may just start crying. “...Where do you think this creep is now?”

“He... He’s not a creep.” Amy lied, feeling in her heart that she just did lie, for Oscar’s sake...

Sonic tsk’ed and turned around, “How can you stand there and defend him!? Do you even know what Grooming is!?”

“...I... I don’t.” she wiped her eyes, “I don’t think I know anything...”

The manipulation had really set in on Amy, she was denying something she knew was true and didn’t know why. She was defending a man who clearly was up to no good, and yet... she cared about him still.

“Sonic... I think... I think I’m sick.” she held her stomach, the realization setting in. “You don’t think... he wanted me to take him to my house to..?”

“He wanted to what!?” Sonic lunged forward, holding his fists back and to his sides as he tried to remain level-headed, pulling away from her. “Amy, you know the truth now, it’s time to end this... ‘friendship’ you two have.”

Amy fell to her knees, “That’ll kill him!”

Sonic immediately looked behind him, Amy almost begging him not to make her do it as Sonic couldn’t stand to see her this broken and twisted up from Oscar’s scheming.

“Amy...” he wanted to say so many things..! But instead, just turned around and held a strong look, “You have to face this... but you won’t be alone.” He offered her his hand, “I won’t leave your side, and I’ll be there the whole way through. You deserve to go out and have fun without someone telling you that it can only be ‘their’ way of fun.” He looked so serious... but she felt a peace wash over her at how she knew his words were never lies or deceits for something devious. His words were for her and her well-being... not once did Sonic ever yell or enforce his way about things at all. He listened to her, even though she knew he must be raging inside at his friend’s predicament... it’s not like she purposefully got herself into this mess.

“You know how you’re prone to cause problems.“

She placed her hands up against her eyes, crying. “Am I... being a burden to my friends, Sonic?”

He immediately scooped her up into a bridal-style hold, “Which store did you want to visit today, Amy? Or do you want to just go home?”

“Please, I want to go home.” Amy held onto him as without a second word, he zoomed off.

The next few days, Sonic instructed that Amy block the number, but text messages seemed to not be the only thing Oscar knew... He called her home number, which surprised both of them, and the phone never stopped ringing.

That next Thursday, Sonic accompanied Amy everywhere she went, and they didn’t spot Oscar anywhere. But come that Friday...

Sonic was carrying some of Amy’s bags, she didn’t look fully recovered from anything, but at least she was wearing brighter colors in her coat she wore that day, and a nice sun hat as Sonic held the umbrella up for her.

He looked a little bored, but kept his eyes peeled when a sudden wind shoved him to the pavement.

“Ah! Sonic!” Amy turned around but was immediately grabbed around the waist, pulled back. “Gah!”

“I can’t believe you let him back into your life!!!”

Amy’s ears rang with Oscar’s voice, before shoving him back and falling down beside Sonic, who quickly shook off the wind blast and spun around to pick up Amy’s things, placing the bags by the store’s window.

“So, this is the wind-manipulator, eh?” Sonic rotated his shoulder out, having landed on it pretty roughly, “Look, I don’t know anything about you, and neither does Amy, really! So either get the hint and quit bothering Amy, or I’ll have to take matters into my own hands!” he hunkered down, getting ready for a fight, but... he also seemed not to be putting on airs or a show.

Sonic... although smiling a bit as he spoke to him, suddenly took a darker and more focused attention on how Oscar was holding himself.

Oscar looked to Amy, not even talking to Sonic, “I told you everything about me... What does that lying Sonic know about you!? I’m the one that’s been with you this whole time while he’s been off, probably with some other girl!”

Amy thought that ridiculous, and seeing him in a new light, she was able to at last come to fact with this pervert in front of her. “You... you were never my friend... were you, Oscar?”

He bit his teeth down, “Is that what he made you think?!”

“No, that’s what he made he realize!” She threw up her hammer and blasted wind at her.

She was forced to slide against the concrete, “I don’t mean to hurt you, Amy dear!” he cried out, “We’ll settle this when he isn’t around!”

“I think you’ve got it backwards, Oz!” Sonic, seeing that his hands controlled the wind, kicked it away from Amy’s direction and then spun in a rotation within the air to punch him down.

He stumbled, as though not used to physical fighting and tumbled all the way over into the street.

“I’ve known Amy much longer and deeper than you have! You’re just some creep who takes advantage of little girls!” Sonic’s fists was shaking, clearly, he didn’t want to just leave it at one blow. “Amy, get behind me!” He gestured out his hand and Amy immediately got up and moved behind him.

“I can... I think I can fight him!” She tried to state, but Sonic looked behind his shoulder and she put her head down. “I... I want to but...”

“...You still care about me, don’t you, Amy dear?”

“Quit calling me that!” Amy threw her arms down, “You used me! You weren’t my friend! I can’t believe I trusted you!”

Sonic turned to the man, “Why are you even answering him, Amy? He’s not talking to you, he’s talking to some Amy Dear girl he’s been building in his mind. You were never anything to him... it was the girl he was crafting that he was interested in.” Sonic slowly walked towards him as the man started to scoot back, clearly not able to fight Sonic The Hedgehog.

“Let’s play a new game...” Sonic suddenly lifted up a device, “Is your real name Warner Windstrom? You’ve got a bounty on your head that the cops are just dying to claim...” he pressed the button as suddenly an alarm went out, and from around the corners, police vehicles blocked his way of escape. “Oh, and that club? A typical place where your old ‘hostages’ claimed they were drugged. Trust me, pal, I’ll personally make sure you don’t get out of jail again.” Sonic let the police start moving in but Warner immediately shoved air beneath him and flew into the sky, shocking everyone as Sonic held up a arm over his eyes and moved back to Amy, shielding her as well.

She was in shock, that kind man she knew was suddenly a criminal and had previously hurt and abused other women... She didn’t know Sonic set this all up, but she probably wouldn’t have let him if she had known.

“I thought we were just gonna talk to him!” she cried out, putting her hand on his shoulder before shaking her head, “I’m defending him again... aren’t I?”

“Amy shouldn’t be with a loser like you, Sonic!” Warner cried out, “You can’t always save her! You can’t always be around to-!”

Before he could finish, a hammer slammed into his gut.

“Nice one, Amy.” Sonic complimented, as Amy stood up beside him.

She didn’t say anything, but judging from the neutral expression... and tears streaming down her eyes...

He just looked back at Warner, “I know this is a lot to take in... but trust me on this one... You’ll be alright.”

Amy summoned another hammer, “Want to give me a lift?”

“Certainly.” Sonic spun into a ball that lifted him up into the wind, then uncurled to reach out for Amy as she jumped, “Hit him hard!” he encouraged as he threw her up the rest of the length.

She pushed her dress down as he extended his arms to her, “Amy, please! You know me! I love-!”

She just growled and let out a piercing war-cry, slamming her hammer down on his face, “I’m not your friend, I’m not your anything, buzz off!!!!”

He slammed to the ground, and as the wind ceased, Sonic landed and caught her immediately, and the two watched as the police immediately took him.

He kept trying to call out to Amy but she didn’t say anything back, just ducking her head into Sonic’s shoulder.

Sonic’s eyes never left Warner’s face... but leaving the scattered bags around, he took her to the park near by and sat her down.

He waited there... as Amy was just frozen in her thoughts... unable to speak.

After some time, she got up and walked to stand beside him, “What about the bags?”

“Not concerned.” Sonic stated, then looked back to her, “You okay?”

“No,” Amy admitted, “You were right. It’s gonna take time... but I wish it would all just go away now.” she placed her hands on the side of her arms, “How... how did you know? When I was telling you about him... how did you know he was no good?”

Sonic tilted his head back and forth, then tapped his head. “When you’ve been around the block a few times... helping justice here and there... you learn a thing or two about red flags, Amy... you don’t have a lot of dating experience--or just knowing bad dudes are like that--in general! I don’t blame you... but I do think that you should be careful who your friends are.”

She scooted closer to him... then tilted her head to his shoulder.

“..Can you help me get better?”

“No,” he lightly tilted his head to hers, “But I can be with you while you figure it out.”

There was a long moment of silence as they held that comforting moment...

“Will I ever be me again?” she asked, her voice cracking slightly.

“...No,” He responded, tenderly, as though a whisper as he looked up at the rain being to slowly drop all around them. “But I can be with you as you learn to accept her.”

Amy closed her eyes, feeling the small drops of rain before it all at once, speedily came down on them.

“...Will you still love me? At the end of it all?”

Silence...

“I already do.”

Rain scattered as Sonic held his eyes straight up into the clouds... the storm in his heart subsiding as Amy cried and her shoulder’s bounced beside him.

[zumpietoo]

Dragging Resumed!!

(but I do have cleaning to do and slept late, so we’ll see how much happens)

Babyman Ted gushes away----I’m moar amused by how they’re all +30lbs and +10/15 years from their profile pics, myself....

But the GG is furious!

Oh good lord, Unshura, it’s fuckin’ Plaiderdale and ALL the writers suck ass....you were just saying as much about Brian a week ago and he’s been around since season ONE....

Are they hacks and even weaker hacks than some of the “better” writers? Sure. Are they dumb AF? Oh yeah....but, make no mistake, RAS sets the stories in motion, they just get assigned bits of dumb filler to “write”.

I’d hardly say either is remotely “seekrit” about anything, dude---plus when they fed shit you liked (or twisted to like), “but Barfie Evan saaaaiddd” was your mantra...TBH, their interviews moar show they don’t have or know a lot----because their info is always wrong and weak...

And actually, no, they aren’t remotely required to “be impartial”---it’s a teevee show, not a courtroom! Plus I thought they didn’t matter, anyway??

And if it’s “unsustainable”? So be it....dude, chill.....your blood pressure!

Umm....I don’t think Barfie Evan IS a “closet VD”, but he does, yes, self insert as Douchie....if anything, moar like Barfie Evan is ALSO downlow teh ghey and desperately wants to suck KokeJ’s D....

None of which I get, cuz Douchie sucks and KokeJ is disgusting....buuuutt....it IS always good for a laugh...

What I find most hilarious in general here....my issues with Barfie Evan are farrrr from his shipping of Barfie/wanting to suck KokeJ’s D, tho....all his shit really, really, REALLY disgustingly objectifies wimmin for the middle aged male gaze (as does RAS, and always has)....so if you want to get upset about something....

Instead, y’all are here sniveling about your ships that you need to accept are ded. Plus, again, then don’t watch.

Dude, the show always sucked.....doesn’t mean I don’t still love it, tho...in fact, while they probably didn’t plan it and it’s largely due to Cole and Erinn, I’m gonna pen a separate piece on how, despite everything, the show actually shook out really, really well...

Also, Barfie Evan already has had his own ep, I believe----the ass shaking was his, no? I will say it’s amusing that his eps seem to feature no or little Jughead---or Jug as a total victim, buuuutt....it’s fully established the writers all despise Cole----which I’m fine with, too

Good lord, dude, it’s ONE TeeVee ep....you’ll survive....and 4 years, plus, again, Jabi is a thing and you need to accept it!

Barfie would never be the main story line, anyway.....the show is about mysteries, not ships, dumbass....

Also, yes, Barfie Evan can’t just turn everybody into ponies in Ponyville....however, Moron is way dumber and moar useless, also haaaaaatttessss BH/Jug, so no cloo why she’s suddenly your bestie? Oh also, seems like she truly doesn’t even know what’s going on/happened in the show...

Oh the humanity, oh the Pee Arr!!! A badly written TeeVee ep!!! It is the tragedy of the age!!! How will they survive? Maybe just don’t watch? Ummm.....they already aren’t---Oh I know STFU!!!

Jabi IS that, tho.....and you already said that, stupid....

Moar noobie sock whining....

Ummm.....no, it would be soooo great if y’all would learn to read and not twist...also, again, Jabi’s solid, dude!

Kettle-bullshit clearly means “hex”, but this does go to her routinely indulging in some verrryyyyy dark fantasy views, like wanting Douchie and TBKGlenn to off each other, etc....

[spaceotter42]

Terri Minsky Talks About Her Finale Decisions

Andi Mack EP Terri Minsky on Legacy, the Series Finale and Movie Possibilities

Photo Courtesy of The Disney Channel

From Paste

Andi Mack is over; long live Andi Mack!

By Alexis Gunderson  |  July 26, 2019  |  5:41pm

If you haven’t caught up with the Andi Mack series finale, turn back!

Well there you have it friends. With Andi’s (Peyton Elizabeth Lee) momentous high school decision, a joyous group singalong to “Born This Way,” and the long-awaited proof that both Buffy (Sophia Wylie) and Marty (Garren Stitt) and Cyrus (Joshua Rush) and TJ (Luke Mullen) like, like like each other, Andi Mack, Disney Channel’s boldest and most groundbreaking original series to date, is officially over.

Having gotten Andi Mack showrunner Terri Minsky on the phone for a long, deeply spoilerific conversation earlier this month, we’ll have a lot more to say about the finale’s wholesome perfection and the series’ parameter-shifting legacy in a moment, but first, let us just say this: Honestly, more series finales should just be one big party.

Get the drama out of the way early! Turn down the lights and turn up the jams! Give a grandma an inflatable T-Rex costume and an open dance floor! Sit a couple of boys down on a romantic fireside bench and let them finally hold hands! Seriously, showrunners—dancey, joyful series finale parties are where it’s at. Don’t sleep on Andi Mack’s excellent example.

If you’ve paid any attention at all to Paste’s previous coverage of Disney Channel’s groundbreaking family dramedy, you’ll know that this isn’t the first time we’ve suggested that more shows should be doing what Andi Mack was doing from Day One. More shows should be exploring the shape of non-traditional family setups. More shows should be letting teens tackle platonic friendships with thoughtful joy. More shows should be making intergenerational family dynamics a focal point of their storytelling. More shows should be letting the specificity of their characters’ full identities—from cultural background to race to sexual orientation to the ability to see crafting treasure where anyone else would see trash—inform their growth. More shows should let teen boys be tender, and more shows should gently call teen boys out when they’re being benignly oblivious to the inner lives of others.

More shows, in short, should just BE Andi Mack. And while its series finale, “We Were Here,” was a disappointment insofar as it officially marked the end of our time with the Good Hair Crew, it was a wild success in showcasing every other thing, big and small, that made Andi Mack so fantastic from the beginning. From the emotional (and actual) growth in Andi’s new-normal family set-up to the core four’s rock-solid friendship to the official blossoming of the puppy love romance between Cyrus and TJ, “We Were Here” found its sense of finality in the same kind of infinite possibility wrought by change upon which the series originally began. Nothing is final, the finale told its fans, except how we care for others.

But enough of our sentimentality. We promised a FULL SPOILER exit interview with series creator Terri Minsky, and we live to serve. Note: The following interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

Paste: Terri! First of all, congratulations on the series! How are you feeling, now that the finale is finally here?

Minsky: Thank you! You know, it’s actually gotten harder as we’ve gotten closer to the finale, because I think I was in some sort of state of—I won’t say denial, but [making] something from start to finish, that’s a first for me in terms of a television show. So originally I was feeling really, really good about it, like I did something. But now […] that I’ve done what I wanted to do, exactly what I wanted to do, and it’s turned out even better than I had imagined, it’s kind of weird to have done it!

Paste: Oh, we can only imagine. That’s not a feeling a lot of people get to have.

Minsky: And now that it’s really over, over, over, I [do] miss it more than I really have at any other point. I just look at the finale and I remember how those kids were so emotional, but how they were able to snap right back into the scene and whatever they were playing and not have that ending feeling about them. By the end they were all just such amazing, professional, incredibly talented people, I just look at them and I think, Oh, I wish I could be THEM when I grow up!

Paste: Same, honestly. To have that kind of emotional maturity at any age, let alone fourteen, fifteen?

Minsky: Incredible. I’m dying to see what they all become, all of them for different reasons.

Paste: What was the process of getting Andi Mack to this specific ending point? Did you have a three-season arc going into the project, or did you even know that three seasons would be where you’d be ending?

Minsky: I would love to say yes, but the truth is, I didn’t. It really was very much a process—the stories that came out of the room, a lot of them were obviously very personal to the writers themselves, and then the actors, what they brought, who they were. Everything was kind of like a plant that grew on its own, developed its own ecosystem.

In terms of when we learned that this would be the series finale, I don’t totally remember, but we were breaking Season Three and looking for our cliffhanger, this is like episode 10 out of 21, when we found out. So it was early enough that it was really great to be able to think, okay, we want to tell these stories, we want to get them in, we want to make sure that they lead to a place where it will conclude. I didn’t want to have people feeling cheated, especially if they’ve been watching the whole time. But it was hard, very, very hard, to know at Episode 10 and not be able to tell anyone. We definitely cried a little in the writers room, but [in terms of organic storytelling], it also made sense.

Paste: When it came to actually writing the finale, how did you approach that? What was the feeling like on set as everything was wrapping up?

Minsky: So, this is the first finale that I’ve written. It was the last episode, I was obviously going to write it, but we were still editing and writing and punching up and shooting all the ones leading up to it, and so it was almost the easiest script I ever wrote, because it was, like… we knew what was going to happen, it was just a matter of at what point, and what were the words going to be. Then I was done, and the writing room was so great about it and very supportive, and then we turned it in, and then there was the table read, and then we were shooting, and I was like WAIT A MINUTE! Wait a minute, this is the FINALE!

Paste: What was the process behind making “Born This Way” the party’s climactic moment?

Minsky: I have to give total credit to Paul Hoen, the director for [the episode], because we knew that we wanted to have the 2.0 party from the first season, we wanted to do a callback to that. So we had the story, but in terms of performing a song, that was all Paul. He’s done so many movies, and so many set pieces, I think he just had it in his head. So he made a list of songs and showed it to me, and the next day he said, we’ve got “Born This Way.” And I was blown away. I still am. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t know how he did it, but we have it, and it was so great, so great.

Paste: Well, and it’s such a recognizable dance party anthem, and so recognizably an LGBTQ pride anthem, that it feels like the perfect finale button to the episode. Like, saying that Cyrus’ coming out arc wasn’t just thrown in to be thrown in, but was developed very intentionally.

Minsky: Oh, it makes me so happy to hear that.

Paste: So we know the show has a very passionate fanbase in general, but when it comes to the Cyrus+TJ storyline, that passion is even more intense.

Minsky: Well, I think a lot of it is the fans reacting to seeing things on a Disney Channel show that they hadn’t seen before. On the one hand, I feel sad that this is the first time, I feel honored that we were the first time, but I also would like nothing more than to not ever again have something like this be such a big to-do. I just want characters to get to be who they are, to not have to explain, apologize, come out. But the fact is, now there’s this audience that’s paying attention, and you want to do right by them. I felt like they were there for us, and I wanted to give them something to thank them for being patient, for sticking around, for hoping, for paying such close attention. I’m just really hoping the finale is… I know it can’t be everything, but I hope it’s going to be something.

Paste: Can you talk a little bit about the process of deciding what that end moment for TJ and Cyrus would be? As both fans of the show and professional critics of serial storytelling, we found the quietness of their big moment to be exactly right, but we know that there will be fans who will still wish there had been more, or who will hold up the kiss between Buffy and Marty as a comparison, wondering why Cyrus and TJ couldn’t have the same thing.

Minsky: I feel like… they’re still in middle school, you know. And I know that people do things in middle school, but I guess I feel like it’s so. much. for, you know, the captain of the basketball team, to hold hands with a boy in the middle of a party. Like, the look on his face? I feel like a kiss, in a way, would have not been realistic to these characters. A lot of that story, a lot of that journey between Cyrus and TJ was subtext, and I think that whatever they were saying to each other, they weren’t actually saying in words. And even that final conversation isn’t explicit. I love that they have that moment reaching for each other and holding hands, in my mind, in the world that we live in, in the story of this relationship, that is a lot.

Paste: Oh, we remember being fourteen! Holding hands felt way more intimate and scary than some kind of awkward first kiss.

Minsky: I think that first physical contact with somebody is so intense. The feeling of their hand and your hand intertwined, how unusual and connected and intense that is. I just felt like this was the story of these characters, that they finally understood what they were saying to each other, and it wasn’t like they had to wonder, is he saying this? or is he thinking this?

In terms of the story, it didn’t need a kiss. Adding a kiss would have been doing it just to do it, to be first, and I didn’t want that. I would love if we were going to go on and have another season or another story, I would love to have the first LGBTQ kiss on Disney.

Paste: Well, at this point, if an Andi Mack movie ever did happen, it seems like the ideal outcome would still be that theirs wouldn’t be the first gay kiss on Disney. Like, the real power of Andi Mack has always been for us the number of doors it has opened to the shows that will come next. Cyrus and TJ walked so characters we have yet to meet could run.

Minsky: Oh, that’s true, yeah! I DON’T want to be the first gay kiss on the Disney Channel, you’re right.

Paste: We’ll come back to the dream scenario of a movie in a minute, but first, are there any stories you got to tell that you’re especially proud of?

Minsky: You know, the funny thing is that from Season One, we had wanted to do a story about that sort of casual racism, that idea of people thinking it’s okay to touch a black girl’s hair because it’s so cool. And we had touched on that in different moments, but then finally here we were in Season Three (Note: episode 3.17, “Arts and Inhumanities”) and it was like, we’re doing it! I’m very happy that we managed to get that in. But I’m also so happy that we did a Bar Mitzvah. I’m thrilled we got to read from the Torah. I love the shiva episode, Cyrus coming out to Jonah over bagels. I’m just so proud of all of it.

But if you want to know the one thing I’m most proud of, it I’m proud we got that cast. When I think back to the beginning of it all, Peyton was eleven. You just don’t know how these things are going to go. So to have it come to life the way that it did, it was just one of those things, like a Black Mirror episode, but a good one? You know, I’ve wanted to do a mother-daughter show for a long, long time, but I guess it took me this long to do it because I had to wait for Peyton Lee to be born!

Paste: Is there anything else you’d like to say about your experience with Andi Mack?

Minsky: It sounds GOOP-y, but it really was a dream experience. Working in television, people are always like, that’s so cool! But it’s really not. It can be hard, there are compromises, you can feel like you’re not doing anything worthwhile, and this was the exact opposite. And when this girl in Kentucky started this Andi Mack Thousand Cranes Project and there were these paper cranes with people saying what the show meant to them… I mean, that was very powerful and meaningful and a gift, and none of it was anything that I could have foreseen, and I’m just so grateful. I’m grateful to the willingness of the cast and to Disney’s support and to fans being so expressive. I’ve never had a job like it before.

Paste: What do you hope audiences will take away from the show?

Minsky: To me, the thing that I felt like I wanted to say to the audience is when Andi says to Jonah, do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we had met when we were older? And he says, someday we will be. And I think, for me in my life, nothing that I thought, “well that’s the end of that story!” turned out to be the end of the story. And I do want people to see those [kids as] people and think of them and wonder where they are, or try to guess what they might be doing.

Paste: Okay, we promised we’d get here—what about an Andi Mack movie? Any thoughts on what that could look like, should every fan’s dream come true?

Minsky: Oh, gosh! I would love to do an Andi Mack movie at some point. I want to get back with those characters, I want to get back with that cast, I want to be back in that world. But as my mother always said, you should leave a party when you’re having fun. And we had so much fun.

All three seasons of Andi Mack are now available to stream on the Disney NOW app.

[bigbookofrescues]

MAN. SO. I wrote a twitter thread like handful of days ago and been chatting a bit about TAG’s future a bit... just yesterday even and I can’t get over the irony the very next day then TAGHQ dropped that tweet. XDDD

Anyhoo, this is edited a bit from my initial string of tweets cause I discovered a few other things of note. XD Apologies it’s SUPER long. lol

SO. TAG's end seems to be approaching... right? OR IS IT? I've seen talk of it being cancelled, but uh... how can something be cancelled that we never had indication would go past 3 seasons? It's just not had (so far) more commissioned. lol

Unless someone's read/heard something (that’s credible!) that I haven't, that's been as far as we knew it was going so far. Series DO end, and given TAG is expensive and time consuming to make (going model/cgi hybrid def made their lives so much harder lol) it wouldn't be surprising at all to me.

There’s also some thought that it’s not continuing due to some amount of failure. But there's no evidence it's failed? It has sold to networks all over the world. ITV bragged the first chunk of S3 eps reached 1.4m people and was #1 kid show across their networks. The second chunk of eps increased to 2.2m! (These all coming from Toy World Magazine UK.) Three different networks bought the show here in Canada even! So the idea it’s failed seems like a stretch to me

So like. Yeah. If this is the end... fair enough imho. lol BUT. No one has really said THIS IS IT. That's what's strange even...

There's a cage-y-ness surrounding it. Everyone has spoken of the end of season 3, but really no one's claimed it to be absolute THE END of the show. In fact, ITV's behavior towards S3 has been downright strange imho.

In 2018, Season 3 started kinda surprisingly soon after the end of S2. Then it suddenly stopped before the mid-way point. It was bizarre at first until an article was uncovered, where a small reference to a new toy deal came to light. Then it did make sense. (Though bit strange new toys being made towards possibly the end of the show, but okay... ...Which is now even STRANGER since found out there’s even MORE toys coming.)

Fast forward to London toy fair, and reps of the toys were saying first the 'property would return in June' and that the final 9 eps had been held back for the toy launch... which was meant to be in the fall. It was a bit confusing until TAG returned even sooner with 9 more eps in May.

So then it seemed like, OKAY, so last 8 will be in Fall with the toy launch. Which would make sense. The toys... the show... before Christmas... sell ALL the toys. Right? ...Wrong apparently. This is where it starts getting kinda really weird. They claim it's scheduling etc.

But why the heck would you not want the series on (Least a couple eps even?) with your new toyline that you'd want to have sell truckloads of for Christmas??? Why the delay into the new year? Which I even questioned would actually happen in January... but now it seems it IS in fact gonna be back in January.

So. WHY? I have 0 knowledge of TV toys selling, so undoubtedly I could be entirely wrong, but my gosh, in terms of common sense? This utterly baffles me. And THEN we now know in Q1 MORE toys are even about to be released. More toys. During or just after the show, allegedly, ends? What???

What exactly is ITV's game plan here??? So that aside, some other small things I've noticed...

A lot thought that interview with both David's had David Graham confirming TAG's end... but uh... pretty sure he was saying they'd wrapped recording the voices for S3 given the Q asked. (Which of course, was done a REALLY long time ago for them when came to the second part of S3. lol)

Then digging a bit cause the Wiki was still reporting Graham said no more eps were being made, apparently a written interview with him was where he was quoted as saying that, but it was rather swiftly edited. No cap exists, unfortunately, to show so. Question is was it David being mistaken or was it an misquote by the site? (Goodness knows these things happen... Many of us older fans I’m sure recall the tiny blurb interview where Kayo’s VA suggested it was JOHN, rather than Alan, who had a thing for Kayo. It was either a slip by Kayo’s VA or a mistake by the article writer. lol) I think it says a lot that, if that DID really happen, it was DELETED rather than it being said.

Then there's an interview with the Fosters at a music event which they seemed to talk a little kinda endish... BUT when asked just after the recording for the finale of S3 if... It was THE END, the end and the reply was 'Certainly not!' and date wise, pretty sure that was after the interview at the music event was recorded. BUT then this was said over a year ago now, so who knows now.

Also in a People interview with Lee Majors he was kinda joking around but said, "If they go for a fourth season, which I hope they do, then maybe my part will have worked,” Majors jokes. “You’ll see how good I was if they don’t get picked up!”

Yeah, a 4th season didn’t seem to be happening when he was interviewed... but also making it apparent there was, at the time, some unknown-ness to TAG's future.

AND THEN there’s the plans for that theme park in Kent that they said they’d have "rides and attractions themed around ITV's Thunderbirds Are Go, and Robozuna" The later is still a fairly new show... but... TAG? It's def TAG they're wanting to use. That's AGAIN super interesting for a show that might be on the cusp of being done and would long be just in reruns by the time this park comes into being? Maybe it's not that weird at all. IDK. (Be awesome if happens!) But my common sense-a-meter is just all... *squints at ITV*

Tl;dr TAG might be over and imho it'll be understandable and doubt any failure. (Like. BTW. Richard Taylor compared making a season of TAG to making 6-7 Coraline's in a row in a year. If that's accurate... W O W. That's nuts, guys.) BUT... I've not seen commit to that's it. DONE.

Which is why my only speculation I'm really trying to present here at all is that I believe there might be some limbo going on... or least there has been. It might well be past tense at this point. There's just so many strange signals around. lol But generally towards the end of a show you see a huge loss of motivation, but we’ve been only seeing more build UP about it. 

Ultimately, we’ll have to see what happens. TAGHQ is being SO specific that it is the ‘conclusion of season 3′ and well, I just posted on my main about ‘The Final Countdown’. (But if someone reading this didn’t see that... go google: final countdown europe lyrics  XD I’m 99.9% sure it’s gonna be a reference to in-show happenings... not the show’s future. XD)

SO YEAH. These have been my observations. (OH and if anyone wants sources to what I've referenced, I'll be happy to provide. :|b )

[sinceileftyoublog]

Dogleg Interview: Buckle Up, Motherfucker

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Earlier this year, Michigan punk four-piece Dogleg released one of the most blistering, endlessly playable debuts of the year in Melee, which, yes, is a Super Smash Bros. game. At this point, much has been written about the band, from their beyond wild live shows to their Pokemon-referencing and video game-playing prowess. Lost in the shuffle is that 2020 was poised to be their year to gain even more of a national following. Released on March 13th, right as the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Melee was supposed to be supported by three cancelled tours--SXSW, an opening slot for Microwave, and an opening slot for Joyce Manor--and an appearance at this year’s cancelled Pitchfork Music Festival. Listening to the songs on the record, you can only imagine how they translate: the jerky momentum of “Bueno”, build-up of “Prom Hell”, gang vocals of “Fox”, clear-vocal anthem of “Wrist”, and odd groove of “Ender”. The band agrees that playing live is what makes them Dogleg: “Our live shows is what made us the forefront of the DIY music scene for as long as we were with such little released music,” bassist Chase Macinski told me over the phone in April.

The band’s self-titled debut EP--at the time, the band was simply a solo project of lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist Alex Stoitsiadis--was released in 2015. Full-band follow-up Remember Alderaan? (Macinski, drummer Parker Grissom) came out in 2016. In the four years between EP2 and LP1, Dogleg took their time writing what would become Melee but wasted no time debuting unreleased songs as they were finished. It was not just their energy, but their steady stream of new material that garnered the band a growing fan base, local and beyond, and eventually a deal with venerable indie punk label Triple Crown Records. “Fox” and “Kawasaki Backflip” were released as singles last November and February, respectively, and the generated hype garnered them rave reviews from publications like Pitchfork that, 10-20 years ago, probably would have scoffed at them.

Dogleg’s bigger moment--they’ve certainly had plenty of already big ones--may be on hold. Macinski continues his day job as a janitor in Southfield, about 20 minutes northwest of Detroit, while Stoitsiadis has played around with live-streamed acoustic and solo electric sets. While the group approach to writing that allowed the band to flourish when making Remember Alderaan? and Melee may not be possible without a completely reopen Michigan, and while Dogleg won’t be able to feed off of crowds for a bit, I have no doubt they’ll come back when they can with an even greater drive.

Read my interview with Macinski below.

Since I Left You: To what extent can Melee be fully appreciated without the context of the Dogleg live show?

Chase Macinski: I think you get a feeling for it. You understand it. But you still haven’t experienced it. We have been playing these songs for a long time. “Headfirst” for example, we basically had that song written by the time Remember Alderaan? came out in 2016. But we didn’t want to include it on the EP because it was close but not finished. Two weeks later, I’m pretty sure we wrapped it up, and then we were like, “Cool. We have the first song for the new album.” At that point, we thought it was time to make an album. We were playing it ever since it’s been done. As we were writing songs for the album, we were incorporating them into our live shows. A year ago, when the album wasn’t even out, half our set was still this album. Locals who saw us on the most recent tour we got to go on did catch that experience but didn’t get the whole context of the album, you know?

SILY: "Headfirst”, especially, is the most maximal song on the record.

CM: Oh yeah.

SILY: At the same time, when I read reviews of your music that say things like, “Dogleg plays loud,” or “Dogleg has energy,” it seems to leave out the complexity of the arrangements. The stop-starts, the drum fills, the crescendos. There’s a lot going on in the music, beyond it obviously being loud and fast. Can you talk about achieving a balance between raw energy and composition?

CM: We want to build up a lot of tension when we play, and we keep that in mind when we’re writing songs. We definitely try to think of, “What’s really hype? What builds up a lot of energy? What gives us butterflies in our stomach and makes us really jazzed up to hear this or anxious?” For the live shows, since we focus so much on those details, the start-stops and crescendos, it fills itself in pretty easily since we’re all focused on that and on the same page in terms of execution, that it just happens, and on the other side of that, we’re trying to be as energetic and involved and engaging with the music as possible. What we do in theory helps us out in practice, if that makes sense.

SILY: How did you approach the sequencing on Melee?

CM: We took it very seriously. It took us a lot of time to figure out what order the songs should be in. I immediately said we should start the album with “Kawasaki Backflip”, and I got some backlash on that. The other two contenders for the first track were “Fox” and “Prom Hell”. “Prom Hell” had more of an argument than “Fox” did. My attitude was, “‘Kawasaki’ starts off like a roller coaster, and that intro guitar riff is just like, ‘Buckle up, motherfucker.’ Let’s go for a ride.’” I really thought it had that tension immediately out the gate and blasted you with what could be a middle ground for the entire album, where I thought “Prom Hell” didn’t really address or show you what you can fully expect on this. For the first track, you might think something differently. After that, it was a lot of, “Okay, how does one song end and another begin?” We thought a lot about what key songs were in, what note songs ended on, how they ended, what the band was doing, what they sounded like, and then we thought about the same thing for how songs begin. “How does this one start? Does it start full-band, just guitar, drum fill?” We wanted to make sure we weren’t being too repetitive and created a sense of flow that could make one song go into the other. We even incorporated those moments where we were very specific about the time change between “Kawasaki” and “Bueno”. We were very specific about when “Kawasaki” ended and how much time passed between that and for you to hear the drums of “Bueno”. We wanted it to be an exact timing just for enough tension to be built up.

SILY: Were there any considerations to the thematic sequencing of the songs?

CM: No, not really, other than when we wrote “Ender” and decided to call it “Ender”, we knew it would be the last song. Otherwise, there wasn’t thematic sequencing because the lyrical content and the themes through the lyrics throughout the album were Alex’s thing. We write a song, and when the whole band writes the song, it’s an instrumental. Then, Alex comes up with a melody, and we all pitch in with what the lyrics might sound like, and Alex writes all the words. I’ve contributed when he’s got writer’s block and have helped him out a bit there, but for the most part, all of the themes for the lyrics he puts in. 

SILY: There’s a line on “Kawasaki Backflip” that does seem like an appropriate introductory mantra to the record: “We can destroy this together.”

CM: Yeah, I mean, I think that’s a pretty powerful statement as an introductory song on the album. “Kawasaki”’s that “buckle up” song, as well, so the instrumental aspects definitely lead into that idea of “get ready for what you’re about to experience.”

SILY: A song like “Cannonball” is a bit more swaying instead of clearly uptempo. When you go into write as a unit, do those differences occur naturally, or are they forced with any sort of intention?

CM: “Cannonball” I would say occurred naturally because we wrote the song as we were practicing one day. In between songs we were practicing and making noise, I played that main verse riff, that A to C progression. I was just bored, not thinking, and playing my bass, waiting for Alex and Parker to be like, “Okay, let’s play another song.” While I was doing that, Alex was like, “Yo, what’s that?” I was like, “I don’t know, I was just messing around.” We started building on that and took that swaying feeling for what it was, and the lyrics to add to that--I think “Cannonball” was maybe the 4th, maybe 5th song on the album, so we didn’t have any idea what would be on it at that point. We knew it was a Dogleg song.

SILY: On “Ender”, are those actual strings in the outro?

CM: Yes, those are our friends who go to music school in Chicago. We know them from the School of Rock music program we all did when we were in middle school and high school. They were home for summer vacation and had their instruments, and we asked, “Yo, can we record y’alls playing violin”...I forget the other instrument. [Editor’s note: It’s double bass.] Those are actual strings. Honestly, I thought they played the parts so well, I made a comment that, “I don’t think people will think this is real because it sounds so genuine and good.”

SILY: I actually assumed it was a synthesizer.

CM: It’s legit. They’re just really good at playing their instruments. The horns are real as well.

SILY: What’s the story behind the cover art?

CM: The cover art is Alex’s aunt’s artwork. She’s a really great artist, and we’ve used her designs in the past. If you’ve ever seen the dog pack t-shirt, where it’s the bunch of dogs in watercolor--it’s also the artwork of our first EP--she also did that. She just really likes drawing dogs. We’ve never really commissioned something from her--she’s always already made something that we’ve thought is really cool, and then Alex asks her whether we can use it for the band, and she says, “Yeah, sure go ahead.” One day we were playing a show in 2017, way before we had half the songs on the album written, before “Fox” was even an idea. [Alex] was scrolling through his aunt’s Instagram and came across that picture. I saw it out of the corner of my eye and was like, “What is that?” He just goes, “It’s just something my aunt made.” I was like, “That is a fucking phenomenal piece of art. We have to use that for our album artwork.” He was like, “Okay.” He asked, we got permission. We made no edits to it. I don’t know when it was drawn or made, but when I saw it, I immediately knew it was perfect.

SILY: Is she a fan of the band?

CM: Yeah, she likes the band. She thinks it’s really cool.

SILY: Have any of these songs evolved, from the song structure to the performance, as the fans get to know both the recorded and live versions?

CM: We play the songs faster live, that’s for sure. Before we did any recording for the album, we had to decide on a tempo we wanted to play them at for the album. But since the songs were written, it’s just whatever tempo we’re feeling. For Melee, none of the song structures have really changed. But for the Dogleg self-titled EP, a lot of those songs, we play very differently live. Alex did that all by himself, recording, drums, bass, vocals, guitar. When we got incorporated in the band, that’s when we had the ability to put our spin on it. We changed and added those stop-and-go’s, different solos. No major changes to structure, but they feel more like Dogleg songs you’d expect to hear today.

SILY: Have you written anything during quarantine?

CM: Alex has been making some riffs, but we haven’t written any music. Alex says it’s pretty difficult for him at the moment. The songwriting process for every song on Melee and every song on Remember Alderaan? has been a band experience: Someone comes to the table with a riff, melody, one piece of the puzzle, and then the entire band fleshes it out. It’s pretty difficult for us to write music at the moment when we can’t get together.

SILY: Is there anything else next for you? Are you releasing any more music videos?

CM: We have some ideas. Nothing fleshed out yet. The last thing we did was the “Wartortle” video. We also have the Eureka [Records] sessions, which were all filmed before Michigan was put under lock down. We have some guitar play-throughs that will get out eventually, where it’s Alex playing along with the songs.

SILY: Is there anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading during or before quarantine that’s inspired you, comforted you, or caught your attention?

CM: I’ve been listening to a lot of music that I’ve listened to in the past. Once I graduated college and was really active in the temporary jobs I had and on the road, I stopped using Spotify for a long time even though I still had my account. My senior year, my Spotify minutes were huge: You listen to music when you study, do homework, whatever. Once I graduated, I couldn’t listen to music while doing things. A year ago, I was working at a hospital on a research project, and you’re not allowed to listen to music during work. I had like 15% of the music usage I did the previous year. So I’ve been revisiting a lot of old music. I’ve been listening to a band called Colossal. I forget the name of the album--it’s the only one I have in my car. The first track is called “The Dusk of Us” so it’s the first thing that comes to my mind. [Editor’s note: It’s Welcome the Problems.] Phenomenal album, really nice. I’ve listened to that a lot. My roommate has an extra PC, so I’ve been playing a lot of PC games, which I haven’t done in a long time because I don’t have a PC that can keep up. I’ve been playing [Civilization VI] with friends over Discord, which is nice, because I haven’t talked to them in a while. I haven’t really been reading anything, and I’ve been trying to watch movies I’ve been expected to watch for a while. Yesterday I watched The Matrix for the first time. 

Melee by Dogleg

[baskervilleshund]

4,5 years of Gotham in my life♥

Wow my emotions these last days. I’m not much of a text poster on this site but when Gotham ended I really felt I wanted to write this!

Gotham has been a huge part of my life for so long now. 4 years and 7 months since the first episode aired, that’s some time gosh. And so much has happened during this journey! I just wanna mention some memorable things during these years. Like remember the pre-s02x09 excitement?? And other stuffs, ah here we go!

The first trailer made me SO EXCITE, I had wanted more batman villains content for years since I have always found the batman villains squad so interesting and good and unique characters, there is so much to explore here! And so the Gotham trailer came and I just OH MY GOD this is exactly what I want!! And so it started and it was amazing. My first love was Ed, it took him his first scene in ep1 to make me go totally THIS IS MY FAV! More eps went on and I required more Ed content. But then Oswald slowly grew on me kinda out of nowhere like I wasn’t expecting it. And when amazing ep7 aired it just hit down on me from the sky, like it does when I know I got a new obsession/fandom. Oswald’s amazing scenes in ep7 and I went ”Okay this is it, I’M DEEP INTO THIS NOW AND I LOVE IT!”. In exactly THIS↓ scene/moment I basically said those words out loud and realized this is my life now, ugh also one of my fav looks I miss the bangs:

Shortly after ep7 I started shipping Nygmobblepot, since we knew who these characters were and who they will end up being it made SO much sense in this show, they were like the two familiar main villains in kinda the same age and I also loved them both so I mean it was obvious for me. Man in the beginning we were so very few in the shipping Nygmob pond, in the OCEAN of Gobblepot. It was a bit of a struggle sometimes, ppl wrote hate on my Nygmob posts n stuff shrug. And I just didn’t get how not more ppl could see it? It would make more sense if this were new characters like they hadn’t even met but since we knew this is Riddler and Penguin it just was fate for them to cross paths soon enough! We needed Nygmob content! I started making tons of my own AU:s since if the show wouldn’t give us content I would do it.

BUT we had Robin & Cory with us! Reminder that Cory invented the shipname after 5 minutes and Robin & Cory’s amazing twitter activity during s1 especially I will always remember as a fav. Remember when they we’re so into roleplaying Nygmob and spoke how Ed & Os loved each other and all sorts of things. All about going to The Foxglove together and stuff. Ugh it was amazing, I miss their interactions.  

In this very smol pond is when one day my shining star @conscience-killer (aka okimi79)  approached me, with this ♥ ”Sometimes I feel we’re the only Nygmobblepot shippers in the world…well apart from Robin and Cory. We should have a secret handshake or something.”

And man did we get a secret handshake! Gosh MY DEAR OKIMI! That I up til this day since then has spoken with like everyday for 4,5 years, you are amazing ♥ And in that time of so few shippers it felt even more special, to have  someone else out there as obsessed as me. I’m so grateful we found each other at exactly that time and we’ve been through so much on this journey ♥.

When Nygmob in spring finally had their first scene it was so amazing and I have no idea how many times I have watched that scene to this day, and also with that the ship grew a bit yas!!

Let’s jump forward a bit. NYC Comic Con 2015 in fall, one of my fav Robin & Cory cons/interview times! Because the legendary ep 2x9 was soon upon us and OMG remember how excite they were in those interviews!?! And THEN, that fkn night THE episode aired. I couldn’t believe it was real, it was EVERYTHING we had dreamed of!!! SO MUCH NYGMOB CONTENT and so in character and gosh. Man their season 2 relationship is just so beautiful and I love it til this day and 2x9 is forever my favorite episode because it meant EVERYTHING for us shippers and more people also started seeing the connection between Nygmob and so more ppl started to make content and join in!

A time after another shining star came into my life, @constant-sinner (aka (riddlelvr) ♥ This amazing person and artist! And together with her and okimi I am part of the best trash family of three and I can’t believe I’ve been a mom (yet i’m the youngest but i’m fashion fur coat mom okay) to these trash sinners for like 4 years. ♥

Okay but remember all INSANE SMAYLOR CONTENT BEFORE SEASON 3!!? Man that was also one of the best times I had during these years. God they were so excite for their relationship in s3 and WEREN’T WE ALL! And omg Comic Con. I had my fkn header for 3 years soon lol, man that moment I remember seeing the signing booth stream all casual and Robin & Cory goes “Smaaylor!! Nygmobblepot!!! ;))” And I’m just wait WHUT omg. Their press tours with Sean is something I’ll miss even more than the episodes, always such a joy seeing those three together!

And when season 3 started it was just insane. To be honest how their relationship grew in s3 that’s how I expected it to grow after their meeting in s1, it made sense already back then. Ed admiring Oswald and sneaking to his club and Oswald would be a huge part of Ed’s journey to become the Riddler but ah well, I did my best with my AU:s back then!

And then s3 came and Gotham EXPLODED and I had no idea where all million ppl suddenly came from lol. It became huge. But since it still feels kinda close to this day (2,5 yrs though man), my most nostalgic feels will always be over s1-2 so I’m not gonna write so much about the season 3-5 times in this text. My closest to heart milestones is during the first years and now that I’ve seen all episodes I still think season 1 is the best overall, except the lack of Nygmob content ofc ;)

I’ve not just felt love for the show ofc, the show isn’t perfect. There has been serious flaws and bad writing and plot drops. Tbh s4 I just felt so NOPE about? 22 eps of waste…Like Ed’s plot for example like he barley had his own plot what happened? And we also have the q*eerbait Nygmob issue obviously. I have also felt the show has been a bit childish being -helloo- GOTHAM city we’re talking about? I think it would have been much better off with a MA-rating tbh to properly tell certain stories. After s4 though I’m glad in s5 Nygmob finally got some proper screen time being together and in character!! Like that’s how their relationship should have been from beginning of season 4, or season 1 if u ask me lol but ya know!

BUT I LOVE THIS SHOW, the amazing actors and characters and scenery and costumes!! Ed, Oswald, Robin & Cory will ofc always have the most special place in my heart ♥ The Nygmob journey in the show has meant so much to me to follow it from day one and I never knew how much this show would mean to me when I started back in the day.

This show. And not just the show itself but my journey and life around it!!? So much has happened. For one example I had made a bit of gifs before but Gotham really got me into gif making, and it’s been a joy sharing content and my Nygmob AU will always be among my most fun things I’ve done, it was like if they ain’t gonna give us enough content I WILL. It’s a fun way of gif making to manip scenes to create something new! And today I still enjoy making gifs, as you probably know heh. Thanks so much for all nice comments and reblogs through all these years ya’ll!! It warms my heart and I love to read reblog tags! 

I have been at con and got to meet Robin, enjoyed so many interviews and promos, chatted with wonderful people. Every Friday night I have been up in my Europe timezone at 2am to live watch the show, the workdays after has been a bit of a struggle of being tired with going to bed like 5am lol but man it’s been so nice to follow it when it airs!

Watching together with my dearest @conscience-killer and @constant-sinner . Two of the best that happened to me during these years. These two people that I’ve spoken with like everyday for 4 years! Through Gotham finding two of my dearest friends in my life. Watching the show together and screaming, crying, laughing during this journey, about not just the show but EVERYTHING in life. They also are amazing writers and artists ♥ And also helped me endless times with gif caption when my non-native brain trying to write gif captions at 3am after the episode lol. All my love to you both ♥

THANKS TO ALL AMAZING PEOPLE that impacted me over these years. The cast and nice fandom people! My dearest @conscience-killer and @constant-sinner. And I also wanna mention dear @millicentcordelia and @selene-volturo that are amazing ppl that have been here with me since the very beginning of season 1. And they have always been so down to earth even during the stormiest periods of this show’s existence ♥ I’m so glad we’ve shared this LONG journey!

And also hugs to my dear mutual fandom friends that I’ve shared hours of conversations with over the years. Some of us maybe don’t speak as much nowadays and some of us have gone separate ways with new interests but I hope you know who you all are, regardless if we spoke yesterday or 2015. You have made my fandom time a joy!

I’m actually okay with the show ending now you know. Ofc it’s a bit sad but as I said I felt s4 was kinda stomping around in the same spot and even s5 had some fillers like they didn’t have more to do to push the story forward? The last ep was a nice easter egg wrap up for this LONG journey. And I mean shows live on with fan content, and who knows maybe it will return somehow? But it feels good they told us it would end so I was prepared for this and to say ”goodbye”. But it’s not goodbye because content will continue on this site and I’ll continue re-enjoy this show!

This is 4,5 years. In 2 pages, I could prob write 20 but ah, but i felt I got to to summary the most important things for me over these years ♥. This show and stuff that came with it will always be such a big part of my life, ALL LOVE AND HUGS!

[deanky]

Total - Andy Merrill Q&A

Total TV: You did the Space Ghost voice in your original demo for Coast to Coast, right?

Andy Merrill: The pilot, yeah.

What was your Space Ghost voice like?

It was just [in pompous radio announcer voice] "so tell me Denzel, what was it like being at the Oscars?" Kind of stupid. Just a dumb pious voice.

You were not destined to be the voice of Space Ghost obviously.

No, I wasn't, no. I just did this goofy little mock-up to put questions to interview answers from these sound bites of Denzel Washington. To this day I don't think Denzel Washington knows that. I mean we didn't like broadcast it or anything. The [Denzel] footage was from Showbiz Today, I just recorded it from that right before I put the thing together, so that interview could have been with anybody that was on Showbiz Today that day.

Right. Clay said he had a real thing about Zorak from back when he was watching the original show. Did you feel that way with Brak?

No, you know, I didn't even know Brak. I mean, I was familiar with the show and I watched it as a kid in the 70's when it was like Space Ghost Frankenstein Jr. And my brother and I used to watch it all the time, my dad would always watch cartoons with us. But I never like associated myself with the characters. We just threw the Council of Doom together from--there was about a six-part episode, it was like the last of the old Space Ghost made where the Council of Doom got together against Space Ghost. And we took the Council of Doom members, shy of one, that we didn't already have on Coast to Coast, and had them sing the "Twelve Days of Christmas." That's where Brak came from.

Oh really? That was Brak's first-ever . . .

That was the original Brak, that was my first time doing Brak and Lokar. Brak came out of the writers' meetings where we would like read over the script and take different parts. And I always took Brak's part and just said, [in quasi-subdued Brakian scream] "Hi, my name is Brak," and it made us all laugh, so that's kind of how I got to do it. I didn't get paid anything, so it was very cheap. And Lokar we were going to establish as this staunch snobby type person, so we were going to have him just sing out operatically. And so I kind of have some singing background so I sang his voice. And then we reprised the characters in the world premiere Toon In show and then it all escalated from there into Cartoon Planet.

It's kind of cool to have the dichotomy of Lokar the erudite and Brak, who's obviously at the opposite end of the spectrum.

I think it's fun they're just so completely opposite. One is completely devoid of a brain and the other one thinks he's like the smartest being alive, so he uses big words. It's really challenging to do Lokar, just because whenever we write his lines we'll thesaurize, we'll get a thesaurus and we'll like pick like the biggest words and the hardest words to say and like plug them in.

Did you ever expect that Brak would take off to become like a cult hero? He gets the most fan mail.

No, you know, I didn't. And he does.

And I've got to say, Brak is my favorite. I mean I love Zorak too, but Brak is just like. . .

Well, he's just lovable. He's me. [laughs] No--well, basically he is. There's a lot of me in Brak and a lot of little stories that we tell are taken from like personal experiences. Whenever Brak talks about school and stuff like that, a lot of that is real. But it kind of surprised me when we first went to Dragon Con, which is a comic convention here in Atlanta, and we showed the "Twelve Days of Christmas" segment like the first year we were there. And it just surprised me to hear that people were singing along with it and just doing Brak lines and stuff. I just thought that was just kind of weird. And they wanted my autograph and all that stuff.

Do you sign Brak or do you sign Andy Merrill?

I sign Brak a.k.a. Andy Merrill. I took that from Clay. Clay does that too, Zorak a.k.a. Clay Croker, Seymour Croker, or something like that. So it's still kind of weird and I'm kind of used to it now, but just to see all the websites that are out there and stuff like that, it's just crazy. I'm happy that people really, really like the character. I'm really happy about that. So many people, you know, are reaching out.

What I love is he's sort of got like this 4- and 5-year-old consciousness that's just so pure, and I'm sure you get a lot of fan mail from little kids as well.

All ages, pretty much, from little kids to parents. And since we're on at 11:30 Friday nights we have a major college student following and they watch us, you know, religiously. I even did an interview last week where the person brought to my attention that there was a Brak drinking game. I said, Well, I can't endorse that, but that kind of was flying around the Internet too, which is kind of a weird thing. So it's escalated to that point. When you drive people to drink.

Was it the character of Brak that really inspired the move into Cartoon Planet? Or was that going to happen anyway?

No, Brak was going to be a very minimal part of Cartoon Planet. If you see any of the original shows--we kind of changed Brak over about a year's time. He got such a big response we wanted to put more of him in, and I would go into voice sessions and only last 20 minutes because I would just be in there screaming in a monotone at the top of my lungs and then my voice would give out. So he was stupid anyway so we kind of dumbed him up and gave him a lot more vocal range. I can go up and down and all that stuff. I can talk more normally now.

Right, otherwise your throat would never forgive you.

Oh yeah, it's terrible. It was awful. I would be out of it for like a day or two.

Well, I take issue with the fact that Brak is stupid. He's more like an idiot savant I think.

Yeah, Mike [Lazzo] always describes him as an idiot savant. And he was struck dumb, I mean he used to be this evil mastermind, so he's got some form of intelligence in him somewhere that comes out every once in a while. He's kind of like, you know, Jim Ignatowski of Taxi, you know.

Yeah, exactly, that's a good parallel, actually.

Like Jim goes to a party and plays the piano and stops in the middle, saying, I didn't know I could do this, and so that's kind of the parallel. He's stupid, but he's not. And that's part of the drinking game too. Whenever [Brak] says something intelligent, you have to drink. And he's into poetry and Shakespeare and stuff like that though he doesn't know it.

I love when Brak just goes off and starts to riff on stuff. Like when he goes on and on trying to find a highway number that works in "Highway 40 Unplugged," that bonus track on the Cartoon Planet Band EP.

Yeah. I can't remember why . . . we went in just to like record an extra track for the CD, and I just brought in my ukulele and played that. And played this old song, the other bonus track is "Put Your Socks On Mama." I made that up in college for my friend Paula 'cause I used to, over the summer, like send tapes to my really good friends--just goofy things, you know. That's where "Put Your Socks On Mama" came from. It's a song I made up. I'd forgotten about it for years but she, like, put this tape together of goofy stuff that I recorded for her and that song was on it.

Do you think there's ever a chance that the Cartoon Planet Band would make an actual live appearance?

I don't know. I don't know. You know, [writer] Dave [Willis] and I and Ann Susan [Brown] and Stuart [Shacklee] in programming played a street festival last year in May and we didn't sing any Cartoon Planet­type stuff, but we sang like Rolling Stone songs and stuff like that. So we can like put a little band together. But I don't know. We do a few conventions every year, like the Dragon Con and the Comic Con and I thought it might be fun to like get up and do a song or something. But so many people, when they come to like have you sign pictures are always trying to have me sing "Highway 40" or something. I always just kind of shy up on them, feel stupid, 'cause I don't have any music or anything like that. And some of them I can't--I mean it's nice that we have the CD and stuff so I can at least remember the songs 'cause some of these we recorded like two years ago. And you know you record them once and never perform them or anything, so it's like you forget the words and all that stuff.

So you never had an actual musical career before this? You just did like these goofy songs for friends every once in a while?

Yeah, I'd do goofy songs for friends and I always just--my parents were very sad when I left the house for college, just because I was always like making noise and singing and goofing around the house and stuff.

Do you think there was always a Brak inside you, like struggling to get out?

I'm sure my neighbor thinks I'm nuts just because I live alone with my dog and I'm always like talking to my dog or, like, singing stupid songs to make her wag her tail or something like that.

What's your dog's name?

Sage. But I call her Stinky or Dummy or stuff like that.

What kind of dog?

Black lab.

Ooh, nice. I love black labs.

She's funny.

I bet. Do you ever get to the point where you're starting to talk like Brak when you don't mean to talk like Brak? Or can you like turn that on and off? I mean, do you have Brak-ish moments in your normal life?

Every once in a while. Not too often. I'm always trying to think of where the present Brak voice came from and I just remember my friend Wally and I in high school just going around saying, [in goofy voice] "You be dawg, you be dawg, you're a dopey dawg," and it kind of came from that, but not totally. It just like came back years later, but I don't know. It's such a different voice, I don't really fall into it that much. But there's times when I'm in the car, like listening to Queen or something like that, you know--there's a lot of Queen songs that would be really funny if Brak sang them. I mean it'd be fun to, like, do an album of actual songs, it would be expensive but it'd be fun to like have Lokar and Brak do "Under Pressure." Or something like that. It just would be fun to do certain songs like "Bohemian Rhapsody" or Alanis Morrissette's "You Oughta Know."

That would be outstanding. Another persona that I love of yours is the guy in the goofy Space Ghost suit.

That's the Space Ghost Dancer. You know, we auditioned people for that, I called a number of dance studios around town to audition.

You mean like real actual dancers?

Yeah, to see if anybody was like interested in auditioning to be the dancing Space Ghost. And I had five guys lined up for the audition. Three showed up and did okay. No, actually two showed up, did all right, and then we had all this studio time left and Pete said, "Well, why don't you put the suit on and dance?" I said, "Well are you going to do it?" He said, "Yeah, I'll do it if you do it." So I put it on first and Pete never did put the suit on. But I just got up and danced around and we had that on a tape too. The actual muscular professional dancer in a Space Ghost suit was just too freaky. It's like really a scary thing to see Space Ghost actually dancing nicely. So we showed mine too, which was funny, and then we went in for a two-day shoot and shot a whole bunch of openings and closings

There were some openings we didn't use, like my favorite was really funny, but we couldn't use it for obvious reasons. Space Ghost starts to dance and then grabs his arm and falls over from a heart attack and just lays there dead the rest of the opening. And we couldn't use that. But last year, last May, Dave and I went out with my video camera and I put the suit on and we went out to Stone Mountain Park and ran around and shot some stuff and it was amazing to see how many people cooperate with that. Like, there were these four ladies playing tennis, and we just went up and sheepishly asked them if we could film me playing tennis with them, and I thought they would tell us to hit the road but they signed releases. And we played putt-putt and went to a place just up the street from my apartment, and shot Space Ghost getting his hair cut.

What's going to happen with Cartoon Planet? I know it's been a little bit on hiatus because there's so much emphasis on Coast to Coast, but I mean it's coming back, isn't it?

[hesitantly] I . . . I don't know. I . . . I hope.

Mike Lazzo said it was when I asked him yesterday.

[somewhat incredulously] Really?!

Yeah, he said absolutely, oh yeah, yeah.

[eagerly] You have that on tape?

Yes, I do have it on tape.

[triumphantly] Okay, then we've got him. [laughs] I hope, you know, when we're done doing this deal that we'll do more. I'm hoping. 'Cause I'd like to do more of some of the newer stuff we were doing like "Cooking [with Brak]." We only did like two "Tales of Suspense," which I just thought of, like, at the last session we did. So I'm hoping to take a little vacation in September. Hopefully we'll be done with 26 [Coast to Coast] shows by then.

Do you have the whole arc of how the 26 episodes are going to go?

How they're going to air? No, 'cause that kind of changes all the time, until the last minute.

Right. But I know you do start with "Pilot," and I just actually got a chance to see [the second episode] "Rehearsal." I love the ending where you see that big human hand come down and then you realize that it really is this little tiny miniature set . . .

The set being broken down. That was good, yeah. That's like three-year-old footage. That's cool because that's some of the original footage. The original footage of them tearing down the set, we've had that for years, we've just never had a reason to use it. So it was cool that we could use it.

Who were your favorite cartoon characters as a kid?

Um . . . boy . . . My dad would come down and watch cartoons with us all the time and we would watch Super Friends and Space Ghost. Space Ghost really wasn't my favorite, though. I always liked the Herculoids, and Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle was always my favorite. All those Filmation Tarzan, Batman, Lone Ranger, Zorro cartoons; Fat Albert was big.

So those were all contemporary cartoons that were running at the time?

Um-hm. But Warner Bros., I always liked Sylvester a lot. Sylvester was always my favorite. Even today, it was nice when I was in programming to be able to work with those Warner Bros. cartoons and actually see the birth of those cartoons and how they were developed and stuff like that. I just love, like, the original Sylvesters. There's one that's amazing where Elmer Fudd is trying to sleep and he's outside, like yelling and screaming and singing and stuff. It's just really, really funny.

On Cartoon Network, on the Tex Avery hour, whenever the last one was, they had the original Bugs Bunny episode with Elmer before Bugs really looked like Bugs.

Yeah. That's another thing I'll probably be working on after Space Ghost is finished. We're going to do more Toon Heads where we show the evolution of the characters and also pay tribute to different directors of cartoons, instead of just Tex Avery. I had the idea of doing a Chuck Jones show but that's probably later on in '98.

One reason Cartoon Planet has to come back is we've got to have Brak's Monday Ratings Report again. I really miss that.

Yeah. We were worried about that, actually. Mike was insistent on us doing a ratings report and we kept saying, we can't do that cause there's some FCC rule or something, you can't tell people how you're doing cause that just kind of screws up the rating system or something like that. I don't know exactly the laws or whatever. But Pete thought of this way to do it which is to just make them up.

And turn the charts upside down.

Yeah. Like, "Hey guys, we're not doing very well." Just do it in a vague way, so we're not saying, you know, our ratings suck. They're all just kind of made up. So I don't know what's going to happen [with Cartoon Planet]. I know that probably scares people when I say that. But I'm sure, you know, when these 26 episodes are over, we'll need something to work on. I would like to do more. We would definitely like to do more. It's a fun show to do and it's pretty effortless to write.

Because you don't have to build it around the interview or anything.

Yeah. It's not as easy as it looks, but Pete and I have this good thing going and since we're the characters it's, like, easy for us I guess. I don't know. Some people try and write for Brak. every once in a while we'll catch some scripts on the Internet that people write. And they'll just make Brak stupid.

How many letters do you get a week?

Me? I don't know, maybe . . . Space Ghost gets a lot of letters.

They told me you got the most mail or rather Brak got the most mail.

Brak does, and a lot of them are addressed to Cartoon Planet, but if they're addressed to Brak, they get to me. I'm not good at answering mail because I'm a jerk. I'm not a jerk, but I just, you know, I let mail accumulate. I'm good at--I can answer e-mail. Usually I try to answer mail, but I'm just bad at it. As is everyone probably. [rummaging through some cluttered piles of papers and mail] This is a black hole. I got second place in most messiest offices.

Who got first place?

I think it was [TNT VP of programming] Phil Oppenheim. [rummaging some more] I can't find any pictures. I got a nice postcard of Amish people. [pulls it out] And it's funny, because Ohio's Amish country. I know this area very well. 'Cause a lot of my family grew up in Northern Ohio.

I'm from Northern Ohio, too. And I went to the College of Wooster, which is right in Amish country.

Really? That's like right next to Orville. My grandma lives in Orville, that's where my mom grew up.

And my great-grandma lived in Sugar Creek and that's where my grandma grew up, and my great-aunt and uncle live there and they have the Swiss festival every year and a lot of my family heritage on my mom's side is in Sugar Creek. And there's like some old historic pictures of like my ancestors and stuff like that. So it's like really cool. My dad grew up in Columbus. I grew up totally in Ohio. My parents still live in Ohio. My whole family like lives in Ohio.

Ohio builds good stock. Some great things came out of Ohio, like Chrissie Hynde . . .

. . . and Wayne Newton . . .

. . . and Pere Ubu . . .

. . . and Paul Lynde. [laughs]

Yeah. [laughs] So how did you get to Atlanta? You went to school here or something?

I went to school in Asbury College in Kentucky and my professor had a lot of connections. I, like, freelanced for ABC Sports a couple times and stuff like that through college, and I came down here for the National Association of Broadcasters conference with a group of students. This was, like, a month after I graduated in like March of '90. I came down here and visited CNN and thought, you know, I could work here. So I put in an application and didn't get hired, and just came down here after college and did an internship in sports. It's weird that they took me since I wasn't a student, but I did an internship in CNN Sports. I'm not a sports nut at all, I really hate sports. But it was like an easy internship, and I heard that if you had an internship and did a good job you were pretty much hired into the company. So I did an internship for like a few months and then the Gulf war broke out and there wasn't much to do in sports then. Before I went home, I put an application in at CNN one more time, and I was hired about two or three months later. I think my old roommate helped me out just to get the papers flying around. It was good to have somebody within CNN pushing your name around and stuff. So I got into CNN and I was there for a year and found the job here [at Cartoon Network], like, on the company bulletin board.

It doesn't sound like you were on this straight path of like 'I'm going into animation.'

Yeah, it's like, my mom always would bug me because I always watched too much TV and I never like read books or anything. And my brother and I would always make little recordings on the tape player and I would go out with my friend Wally in high school and make videos and stuff. And at the time I never thought it would amount to anything, till I took broadcasting in college and then it, you know, took me a year and a half to find the job at CNN. I did a lot of crappy work before that, working in a folding and binding factory making sure these machines ran and folded these stupid brochures and stuff. I hated that. I did that for three weeks and I believe I was fired from that job.

You didn't fold and bind correctly?

No. I was told to replace this guy at this one machine and the guy didn't like tell me what to do, he was like well, you just make sure these go in the right way. So I thought I was doing it right, and I guess I screwed up about like 400, 4,000, something like that, brochures. 'Cause they were folded wrong. So the manager brought me in his office--it was a temp job--and he said, "I don't think we're going to need your help anymore." So he signed my little temp form and I left. So you know that just was terrible. But I worked at a pizza place before I worked at CNN. That was like my big job.

Oh, well. I mean, everybody goes through those early jobs.

Which is good. It's a good experience, it's good to go through all that garbage before you get to a point in your life where everything's cool.

What do your parents think now? Do they think that that was time well spent? All those hours in front of the TV?

My mom, you know, doesn't say, I wish you would have read more. My parents have always been really, really supportive of everything I've done. So they've always been, you know, very encouraging. I have a really good family and I talk to them all the time and so they're always really supportive of everything I do.

Do they like the show? Are they fans?

Yeah. Mm hmm. My grandma watches Cartoon Planet.

Really? That's neat.

She was happy that they finally got Cartoon Network in Orrville. And yeah, they watch it all the time and whenever we have new shows I make sure they know. So whenever they see something new they'll call up, you know, laughing and stuff like that.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah, it's nice. My brother doesn't have cable. Well, he has cable, but he has, like, the worst cable company in probably ever, like the cable company in Versailles, Kentucky. They're just terrible, they have like two of every network channel, NBC, ABC, Fox. And like hardly anything else, other than like American Movie Classics. It's just terrible. And my sister doesn't have cable.

But your grandma watches in Orville.

Yeah, and whenever my nephew's at my parents' house, when he was like younger he would always see me dancing on the screen and he'd dance along.

Oh, with the Space Ghost Dancer?

Yeah. [chuckles]

What a great uncle to have. I mean wouldn't you have liked to have had you as an uncle?

Yeah. I did have a couple really great uncles when I was growing up, but yeah. My brother and sister are both married and I'm the middle child so I just feel kind of like, okay, I'm stupid, I'm not married. I was feeling like that for a while, but when they finally had kids, both of them, I thought, well this is great, you know, 'cause I can at least have this.

And that's the best role, uncle. You don't have any of the father responsibilities.

[wistfully] Well, you know, I would at least like a girlfriend. But I like going to toy stores and buying all the cool things that are out there. And I like playing with my nephew and stuff, and my brother just had a child not too long ago, and it'll be cool to see him grow up too. It's just an amazing thing, you know. Just an amazing thing, just kids. I just . . . I like kids, I get along with kids.

I'm not surprised.

You know, once my nephew started to be able to talk, my sister would call me on the phone and she would say, he's got something to tell you. And I'd hear the phone being exchanged and I would hear this [in little-kid -trying-to-be-superhero voice] "I'm Superman." [chuckles] You know, it's just so . . . it made me laugh.

Has he ever given you any material you've used for Brak?

Um, no. He thinks he's Batman. No, not really. I really haven't touched that. We did do one thing with my nephew--we had like a contest or something or other here, not really a contest, it was just kids, send in your picture and we'll put your picture on a ghost or a scary vampire or something, and scare Scooby Doo. Something like that. It was around Halloween. And so when my nephew was pretty much an infant, you know, I had this one picture of him that I like gave to them, this one [shows picture of gnomish newborn]. They put his head on this vampire. [laughs] It was funny.

That's cool. What's your nephew's name?

Schuler.

What a neat name.

My other nephew is James. Schuler is named, I guess, after a family friend. Schuler James, and then there's James Robert. But James is just tiny, tiny. I saw him like a week after he was born, that's the youngest [baby] I've ever seen. I didn't even see Schuler that young, so it's kind of cool to experience, you know, a week-old relative of mine.

Yeah, that is cool. Back to Space Ghost Coast to Coast--do you think there's anything on the show that even those of us who think we are like the hippest aficionados may be missing? Some other level it's working on?

I don't know, I don't think there's anything . . . I mean, there's nothing cerebral about the show. I mean, we're all just a bunch of geeks writing for the show. There isn't much hidden stuff in any of the shows, you know. Cartoon Planet and Coast to Coast get mixed up all the time. I don't understand that, how people mix up those two shows, 'cause they're so different. One is completely written and strict to the script, and the other one, Cartoon Planet, relies more on not just the script but ad libs in the studio and stuff like that.

Right.

But I don't know of any hidden stuff, any deep things.

I sometimes see stuff when I see episodes over again that I didn't catch the first time.

You catch different things when you watch our shows, like more than once, but I think that's the case with a lot of shows, you know. Simpsons, it's more so just because they're able to animate their characters and there's a lot of visual comedy and stuff in The Simpsons that you can see but you don't see it the first time. Here, with us, we're just so limited in animation, it's almost like the opposite. You have to, like, watch it twice to hear certain things for the first time.

[sol1056]

hey im the anon who asked about how you knew the stuff, sorry i wasn't too clear on what. i just read the post explaining EPs and how the behind the scene stuff worked and i wanted to know how you knew all that, like are you involved in the industry? or just a nerd?

gotcha! Well, remember how back in S1/S2, people kept pointing out Hunk could be… awfully nosy? always getting into things, asking questions?

I was over here going, YES HUNK IS MY PEOPLE. 

It’s a hallmark of a certain type of engineer: insatiable curiosity, and never satisfied with only one answer, always sure there’s more to discover. Okay, we’re not all engineers — a lot of us are Russian Lit majors — but the key is our drive to discover. We take apart, put back together, connect dots close and far, turn things around and study them from a new direction. We’re those people who randomly show up in your part of the building, poke our heads in the room and say, “so, what do all y’all do here? what’s this do? hey, what’s that?”

Despite the fact that most of us seem to be (strangely) strong introverts, that doesn’t stop us. We’ve got questions for everyone. We’ll talk to total strangers all day if we’re on the trail of a particularly interesting idea. In a nutshell, we’re utterly shameless.

I did post-production back when NLE was relatively new and the compositing applications required massive nearly-mainframe computing power. I was mostly in the sfx/cg areas, but I weaseled my way into the color suite pretty regularly. I sat in on editing sessions and was a happy lunch-fetching lackey if it got me a chance to watch the compositing team. Any lull meant a chance to chat up directors, cinematographers, producers, etc. I totally took advantage. 

It’s been awhile since I did that – and since then I’ve been a roady, a mental health & substance abuse admin, a doorman, and even owned a bookstore, before going corporate. But for every wacky thing I’ve done, I’ve also kept in touch with people I met. Frex: the friend who got me the post-production job is now an executive producer. Yes, I do call him with questions. He’s used to it. If he doesn’t know an answer, he sends me to someone who does. (Another reason we’ve been friends for so long.) One answer is never sufficient, never a reason to stop there.

Meet one novelist, get introduced to six more, and three of them write for TV. Oh, that’s handy. Should save that contact, could be useful someday. It’s actually rare for someone to say no, come to think of it. idk, as long as I can get access, I can usually get the person to tell me something I can use. 

However, since my actual area of expertise applies across many industries, I’ve worked all kinds of places. A lot of it’s client-facing, and if you think that means I’m not wandering around the client site poking my head into rooms and cheerfully interviewing people on the spot, then you haven’t been paying attention.

Now that I work at a multinational corporation, I have literally thousands of people in my network, including everyone who’s moved on to a new place. You might be surprised how many people are fine with, “hey, I work at X with Y, and Y told me you’d know this.” Of course, everyone has a bias and a view limited to their own experience, so you can’t stop there. You can’t really understand a situation without knowing the agendas of all the players. You gotta ask a bunch of people, make sure you’re getting the most rounded sense of things. 

Not really a hardship for me. It’s kinda the whole point. 

People are people everywhere (outside cultural quirks), and it’s rare I’m ever researching a single person (I’m not an investigative journalist, if you were wondering). Most of the time, I’m looking for the industry-based cultural expectations. As in, “given X and Y, what would someone who does A generally think is a reasonable action, in this situation?”  

The key is to have a believable reason for asking, and being a writer definitely qualifies. “I’m researching for a story, and I have a character who do X. I wanted to know if it’s realistic for them to know Y. Who do you think would be the best person to ask?” I frequently cold-call, and I never ask “is there someone there,” I ask who they think is the best person. A lot of times it ends up being someone that the phone operator knows (personally or by reputation) who’s full of bizarre trivia and enjoys a chance to show it off. (Plus, it’s amazing what you can learn about a person from all the other subtle cues people are unaware they’re telling, when they’re focused on their area of expertise.)

That’s how I ended up interviewing the Director of the DEA about whether a non-US-university degree would satisfy the education requirement. His letter of introduction got me monthly lunches for awhile with the DEA director in my city. (Oh, the stories I heard.) It’s how I learned about sheep subsidies from one of the top execs at the USDA, and that there’s a single surviving Civil War widow still getting a VA pension. Going in person is even more fun. You could wind up talking to one of the very few artists in the world whose speciality is touching up pre-Renaissance books so the repairs aren’t visible. Or the art historian whose job is going through the nation’s attic and identifying century-old fakes. 

I’ve talked to embassy officials from five different countries, NASA biophysicists and astrophysicists, OSHA inspectors, Nobel prize-winning economists, police detectives, celebrity chefs, environmental lawyers, arena-level sound-people, race-car drivers, potters, opera singers, patent examiners, train mechanics, fire marshals, foley artists, and club DJs. I’ve interviewed fashion photographers, farriers, puppeteers, lighting designers, Catholic bishops, bioethicists, rabbis, fighter pilots, public radio personalities, newspaper editors, chemists, club organizers, war correspondents, Episcopalian nuns (yes they exist), textile artists, prison architects, midwives, cabinetmakers, tall ship sailors, haute couture seamstresses, and civil engineers. On and on and on. 

Don’t neglect official avenues, either. The Department of Labor, the International Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners, the Screen Writers’ Guild, the list is nearly endless — any organization, union, or federal/state dept that sets or guides policy. Everyone has a bias, so what people consider normal is sometimes… not. Or they just didn’t know (or saw no need to know, the fools) the reason for A over B. You have to check the rules, because a discrepancy between what you’re told should be done versus what people tell you is actually done… is also useful to know. 

(Labor practices are definitely one of those areas, since federal labor policy is something every company must observe. It’s the law. So when a workplace seems to be violating the law, it raises a lot of interesting questions.) 

And finally, of course, there’s traditional research. Textbooks written by people in an industry can be particularly interesting, especially if it’s a book meant for readers outside that industry (which usually means a lot of firsthand anecdotes to round out the gaps). Popular articles, academic essays, post-mortem white papers, TED talks, interviews. You need to do your basic homework, because there’s no waste of someone’s time quite like asking them a question that’s patently absurd once you get past common assumptions. 

I once explained the plot of a popular SF show to a NASA astrophysicist, and his response was simply, “Every word you used was English, but those words in that order make absolutely no sense at all.” Kind of a dead-end, there. You can’t come at a top-level expert with intro-level questions. 

Since I don’t always know who I’ll stumble over next, being an information sponge means I at least have a whole encyclopedia of analogies. If I can find  common ground (cars and houses are two of the best), I can at least get a basic idea of the person’s meaning. “Oh, so it’s like when you turn the key in the ignition, and the lights don’t come on because the battery is dead?” 

It’s asking the right questions, using an open and friendly approach, and having the right timing. Remember: there is no such thing as unskilled labor; there is only undervalued labor. That is, their time is also valuable, so be brief, open, and sincere. Treat every person as if they’re an authority in something, even if you haven’t figured out what that is. 

The world is a massively complex place, and contains more things than are dreamt of in our philosophies, all of it waiting to be discovered.

Or, the shorter version:

btw: I don’t actually recommend going in person to the Dept of the Interior, though. You’ll get lost. Like, instantly. That place is MASSIVE.

[elizabethrobertajones]

Suddenly I'm getting these psychopath!dean thoughts after reading the new buckleming interview. God help me

I need to preface this with a signal boost of @justanotheridijiton‘s gif request :P

https://justanotheridijiton.tumblr.com/post/179162557389/alright-i-need-me-a-gifmaker-willing-to-make-a

Anyways after that completely irrelevant thing I put here, and, weirdly, an aside that I swear I remember her talking a lot about how Dean was going to be affected by like… tentacles of trauma or something afterwards at SDCC, here’s the interview:

https://tvline.com/2018/10/17/supernatural-spoilers-season-14-big-bad-not-michael/

As for the beloved Winchester trapped inside Michael, if/when Dean is eventually freed, he won’t be as traumatized as one might think by the horrible things the archangel did while sporting his vessel. “Dean’s been contaminated by Cain. He’s a tough guy,” Ross-Leming notes. “His body’s sort of accumulated a lot of, I think, antibodies against evil, so he’ll be OK. He knows how to handle himself, even though he’s been altered. But there is a little bit of a surprise, in terms of this semi-possession, which I can’t tell you about. There’s a little bit of a twist.”

Given that I’m at an all time low for thinking she knows what she’s talking about after watching so many interviews with her in a morbid attempt to learn anything I can about this fascinating and terrible person, I can barely lend any credence to what she says, whether these are points that will be discussed in the show or things that she has thought for herself at random and may or may not be the subtext to her specific chunks of the show and nowhere else :P That lack of faith in this specific writer makes it super hard to engage with the commentary.

She says he’s been contaminated, which is more of a poisoning which would imply ongoing damage that creates ill-effects, and also that he has antibodies, which are positive and good things in the body that are created to protect us from the bad, and would be making the opposite point that instead of him picking up more and more badness to the point that it affects his personality, that his experiences have given him a stronger immunity to lingering corruption and that he will survive relatively intact.

(vaccinate your kids)

Which means she’s literally saying he’s altered, he’s semi-possessed, he’s fine, and that somewhere in that there’s a twist. And this also:

Plus, this ordeal with Michael “doesn’t take as big a toll” on the hunter as, say, his experience in Hell did, the EP reveals, “because there’s something else that’s going to happen that will take a bigger toll on Dean, and he has to pay attention to that.”

reads to me as another instance where she has her focus on what she herself is writing, and not particularly on what the other writers might do. I doubt that in a season where Dean started off possessed, that the other writers will not want to tackle the rich, rich psychology of post-Michael Dean, whether she has thought it was interesting or not. 

I kind of feel like whatever she’s trying to say, the message is that she hasn’t focused on Dean’s post-Michael trauma, is interested in something else, and has written him coming out of it relatively unscathed and focused on something new, which is actually fairly common for Buckleming episodes, to fling us to a new event and not focus on what had been previously traumatising the characters, as they’re kind of terrible at doing deep introspective episodes with the pacing to allow for that :P 

But away from all that… Yeah, I have always liked the whole Mark of Cain destined for Dean stuff from back in season 9/10 and find it really interesting even if it was wearing by the end of season 10, I had a lot of fascination in the character study of Dean, the psychology behind demon!Dean, and all the stuff that was brought out over the seasons of how the Mark affected him, that there was a connection back to Michael and Lucifer, and how it seemed like Cain was the Dean mirror who would have been the more natural Michael!vessel and Abel the Lucifer one and so on. And in 10x14 the interest in Cain decimating the planet because he believed his descendants were inherently killers, and how he identified Dean as a killer. 

Which is a struggle Dean has had for a long time through canon, especially since 2x03 when Gordon showed up to highlight the difference between killing monsters for bloody minded vengeance and pleasure, vs being heroic and making the good calls. And I think why Michael has symbolically ended up with vampires as his choice of monster to play with now, because Dean’s struggle is so tightly wrapped up with vampires, whether it be turning into one, or befriending Benny and clinging to the purity of Purgatory. Which is a state very similar to what Michael identifies in the vampires as a good motivation and something admirable to spread and remove all this dumb human confusion. 

In every way Michael has been designed from the start to be the worst!Dean, all his struggles with being the elder son and dealing with Lucifer. His dialogue especially in 5x22 is anvil heavy to make him a Dean parallel, except showing where he lacks love and compassion and forgiveness, the traits that make Dean show up to Stull to save Sam, while Michael is banished for being terrible, and symbolically was a moment where we could see shunning of how Dean was raised (it was “jacked up” Dean says in 2x03 when he first reflects on how the world wasn’t as black and white as he thought) and all this is blamed on John, or in Michael’s case, on Chuck.

They’re both given the same burdens of killing their brothers, and Michael goes so far as to make that awful spear (which was his reintroduction into the narrative - the toxicity of his choice to kill Lucifer enacted on Cas as an innocent bystander to all this, one of Michael’s former underlings being stabbed by one of Lucifer’s former underlings). Michael has already banished Lucifer to the cage once, and is fully committed to the apocalypse and killing his brother a second time. For all Lucifer’s flaws, I think he would genuinely hesitate to try to kill Michael in all the iterations of these fights, which is how in this fable, that we know at least 4 enactments of JUST in the primary set of Michael vs Lucifer before we get to all their mirrors in Cain & Abel, Gordon and his sister (and Jake from 2x22 and his) etc, and Sam and Dean… Michael kills Lucifer almost every time unless stopped, and many of the worst mirrors do too. Cain asks Dean why he didn’t kill his, as if fully aware of the weight of how every Michael has his Lucifer, and Dean says you never give up on family, ever. Dean has love, and that is why he said yes to Michael.

So it’s that balance that there’s a killer streak in them, that Dean can descend into states of killing for purity, for the mindlessness of it, that he becomes a tool, a blunt little instrument, and finally the Michael Sword, and yet he also has this ultimate power of love that the universe literally turns around and has shifted on its axis multiple times because of, because of all these people, Dean is the one who never gives up on family. So the issue of how murderous Dean is is REALLY REALLY interesting, like how they got him to break in hell, bookending his power of love saving of the world in 5x22, from his worst to his best. And then on it’s “oh you’re torturing again!?” as a sign that Dean is in a bad place. And of course now Michael in Dean is torturing vampires, so this is the absolute culmination of all the darkest parts of the symbolism and themes that make up Dean’s darkest side, and he’s being made to live through all of them right now. 

However, I expect Eugenie to consider maybe like 2 facts from that whole thought process while writing because she’s just so wildly bad at this whole thing… So, yeah. I’d like to see what Meredith does with this instead, by a factor of millions. 

[nctsolar-remade]

Just A Dream – Episode 1: Dream Lab

Description: “Where is… Here?” “A dream.” “What?” I stopped dead in my tracks. “We’re trapped in a dream.” “You’re crazy…” “Look… Believe me or don’t believe me, I’m telling you the truth. We’re trapped inside someone else’s dream.”

Part: Ep.1 Dream Lab Pairing: None Genre: Horror, Mystery, Dystopian Word Count: 15.056 Warnings: Blood, death, decaying bodies Requested: No Song Recommendation: Control (Instrumental) – Halsey A/N: Ah, so here we are. Literally, 5 months later. This is a weird idea that I had after watching the NCTmentary videos that they put out. Honestly, what shady dudes. To be honest, it didn’t really take 5 months to write but I’m literally an expert at procrastination so… But, I have been really excited about writing this AU. I didn’t really expect it to get this long or detailed, and like not to toot my own horn, but this truly is the best piece of fiction I’ve ever written. I really hope you guys enjoy it, and anticipate (the very slow, I’m sure) updates! Anyway, reblogs and likes are always appreciated! Comments too. If you want to let me know what you thought of it, I’d genuinely be over the moon to hear! I really adore having feedback because it helps me be a better writer and it lets me know what’s good and what’s not. So, yeah, definitely let me know how it was and what you liked/didn’t like! Thank you so much for reading this. I hope you enjoy!

Also, special thanks to: Spence (@whiplashlive)!!! Miss Spence really helped me get through this. As you can see, it’s not a short fic, and like I was really disheartened at certain points and I felt like it wasn’t going anywhere but Spence really helped me push through and finish it. Her constant support is honestly the only reason this dumb ass fic is being posted now, rather than even later. So, like, mad thanks Spence! And also thank you to the other’s who proofed this fic for me! You all helped to motivate me as well, so thank you!

The day before the world ended.

 That day is still imprinted in my mind, as clear as ever. It will forever be there, haunting me. I can’t remember how long it’s been since then. So much has happened. Too many hours have passed. I feel like I’ve aged a hundred years over and over again.

 Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe no time has passed at all. Maybe it just happened. The world has just ended, and I am now here, opening my eyes and wondering where in the world I am. Maybe I am here, again, as I have already been so many damn times. Maybe that’s all this is… Maybe it’s just a dream.

 A dream.

 The word alone causes a grim smile to cross my features. After all, that’s the whole reason that I’m here right now. That word is the main reason that we have been trapped in this world… In this hell…

 Regardless of how long we’ve been here, we are here now. And here, is not a good place. I have to find a way to wake up. I have to save them. I have to-

 My eyes fluttered open.

 Asleep. I’d fallen asleep. I blinked several times, my eyes itching with tiredness. What had I just dreamt…? The harder I tried to remember it, the further away it slipped. Frustration was starting to grip at the edges of my confused and groggy brain. Before I could really get anymore worked up, I realized that my face was pressed against a desk. I lifted my cheek off the cool plastic and rubbed my eyes, trying to reduce the fuzziness of my vision. I heard someone speaking loud and clear, and it brought my attention to the front of the room. I was in a lecture hall filled with maybe three hundred students. Right… I was in class. I looked over at the seat next to me. The boy beside me noticed that I’d woken up and smiled.

 He leaned in, and in a soft voice whispered, “You fell asleep Johnny. I felt too guilty to wake you up. Don’t worry about the note though. He didn’t really talk about anything important, but you can still have mine.”

 I nodded, looking back at the front of the room. The prof was now talking about participating in research studies for extra credit. Something that all of us were told to do, as it would help improve our grade. Most of the studies were just regular researching experiences; normal experiments and interviews about a variety of things, like stress or your relationships. However, there were the odd research teams that put together extremely interesting and innovative studies. Those always filled up extremely fast and there were only a few spots for each study.

 “Please remember, these studies help, not only you, but the university and the graduate students who are running them. Anyway, make sure to read the next chapter from the textbook for next class, and that should be all the work that you are required to do this week. Have a good evening everyone.”

 The classroom immediately filled with life; chairs squeaked, people chattered, and there was a scramble to leave the room quickly. I stood up, looking back at the boy beside me.

 “What’s wrong, Johnny?” His eyes shone genuine concern.

“Nothing really.” I shrugged, sliding my laptop into my bag.

“Are you sure? You seem off…” He frowned and halted his own packing.

“Yeah, I’m sure Taeyong. I just had a strange dream.” I smiled at him.

“Oh… I see.”

 We tugged our coats on and donning our bags, we left the room.

 “It’s still snowing.” I pointed out at the glass walls of the science building.

“Damn, let’s hurry back then. Looks cold.” He shivered a little and sighed.

“Yeah, let me just check the bus times.” I nodded, pulling out my phone and scrolling through the upcoming times. “Seems like there’s one in ten minutes. I think we can make it, if we walk fast enough.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He nodded.

 Leaving the building was like entering a totally different world. Inside, it was loud, bustling, and hot. Outside, it was like a wasteland. There was nothing but white. The snow covered every inch of the ground, and it seemed to obliterate all signs of life. Not a single sound could be heard. There was nothing. Our breath turned into pearly-white puffs of air that swirled upwards towards the expansive night sky. It felt so dark and lonely… The silence was what really got to me. It felt like the snow was absorbing all the sounds that you’d normally hear on a university campus.

 Taeyong and I walked towards the bus stop, silently. It felt wrong… Talking… Disrupting the silence didn’t feel right. To this day, I’m still not sure why it made me uncomfortable, but it did.

 “What was your dream about?” He asked, suddenly.

“Oh… I don’t really know… I tried to remember it but, it kinda just… Slipped away?”

“Oh, I see.” He nodded.

“It wasn’t really anything.” I frowned.

“How do you mean?”

“Like, it just seemed like a voice was talking. I think I saw myself talking… But I was alone, and I wasn’t in a room or anything… Just a big, black expanse.”

“That is odd.”

“And what’s even weirder is that it felt so incredibly… Real…”

“Must’ve been one of those dreams.”

“Yeah… And I think I was just talking… About dreams actually.”

“Inception?” He poked me, laughing.

 I couldn’t help myself, I laughed along and nodded. Being around Taeyong was easy. He didn’t expect anything from you, which made it easy to be yourself. Uni was a tough place to be… Everyone expected you to act like an adult even though most of us weren’t really ready for it here. And even though I’d already been here for a few years, Taeyong was my only real friend. We’d met back in our first year when we’d been paired up as roommates. He was seemingly quiet and shy at the time. He kept to himself, avoiding any sort of conversation. I tried to befriend him at the time, but he seemed simply focused on his studies, which I respected. Eventually, he opened up when we finally found some common ground: our similar tastes in music. Now, we were best friends and still roommates.

 I was brought out of my nostalgic thoughts as my shoulder made painful contact with someone else. I stumbled backward slightly and reached for my shoulder, wincing in pain. I looked towards the source of the crash, making eye-contact with a boy who seemed extremely flustered.

 “I am so sorry.” He gasped, eyes flashing apologetically.

Smiling sheepishly, I shook my head, “Nah, I wasn’t looking where I was going. That was my fault, to be honest.”

“I really wasn’t paying attention to where I was going…” He awkwardly bit his lip and smiled.

“We’re both at fault I guess.” I laughed.

“Johnny, we should hurry…” Taeyong said softly. “Crap, right… Sorry, we should get going.” I scratched the back of my neck and the boy nodded.

“Myself as well. Have a good evening, both of you. And again, I’m sorry.”

“You too. And yeah, sorry.”

 We continued walking, I glanced back, wondering if he was still there but… He was gone… I wanted to turn fully and see if he’d actually managed to leave that fast, but Taeyong pulling on my sleeve was enough to keep me going.

 “Do you know who that was?” I asked expecting a no.

“Yeah… He’s in my academic writing class.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah…” He frowned a little, “I think he goes by Ten?”

“Ten?”

“Yeah… I think that’s what it was.”

 Taeyong pointed at the bus stop, which was now in view. I pulled out my phone, double checking the current time. We still had a few minutes.

 “We’ll make it-”

“Johnny, look!”

 Taeyong was staring upwards at the sky in awe. I followed his gaze, my eyes widening and mind going blank. The sky above was still pitch black, but there were hundreds of shooting stars trailing across our field of view.

 “Johnny, let’s go.”

 I shook my head, looking around. Taeyong was a few steps in front of me, looking at me. I looked up, confused. The sky was void of shooting stars, or any stars for that matter. The moon was also missing. All of it was hidden by thick, snow-filled clouds that heavily weighed down on the sky. It left the night sky incredibly dark and quiet… But… Where were the stars? I swear I’d just seen shooting stars.

 “T-Taeyong… Were there just…” I trailed off, I didn’t want to sound crazy.

“What?”

“Never mind.” I shook my head, trying to rid my thoughts of what I’d just seen, or, imagined.

 It must’ve been my overwhelming sleepiness. We walked up to the stop and I leaned against the lamp post, feeling dizzy with confusion. I scrunched my eyes shut and tried to forget what I had just seen. Was I losing it? Or had that really happened? But there was no way… If Taeyong hadn’t seen it… Then…

 I looked up and panic gripped at the bottom of my heart as I couldn’t see Taeyong. I immediately straightened up, glancing around the mostly empty bus stop. Where had he gone?

 “Taeyo-” I was cut off as I saw him standing in the middle of the road.

 What the hell? How did he get there?

 From the left, a car was hurtling down the road. I opened my mouth to yell, but he looked at me and I froze. Something about the look in his eyes was dead… That wasn’t Taeyong… I tried to yell out to him, tried to tell him to move, that he was going to get hurt, but nothing seemed to work. His hollow eyes bore into mine and he mouthed one word.

 “Sorry.”

“TAEYONG!” I gasped out, standing up straight and bewilderedly looking around.

“W-What!?”

 I turned and looked at Taeyong. He was standing where I’d remembered, right beside me. I looked back at the road; cars were travelling along it but there was no one there. My gaze returned to Taeyong and he looked at me, concern laced his eyes and his eyebrows turned down in a frown. I sighed, shakily, and reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. I half expected my hand to phase right through him, but it pressed against him, solidly and I felt my knees buckle a little. What the hell was happening?

 “Johnny… What’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Y-Yeah…” I nodded, feeling a wave of nausea pass over me, “I’ll tell you when we get back home.”

“Alright.” He looked at me unsurely.

“I’m fine.” I mumbled, trying to breathe evenly.

 I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it back and out of my face which, I realized, was sweaty. It was negative twenty with a negative twenty-five wind chill, and I was sweating. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of everything that was currently happening. I took deep, steadying breaths and focused myself on waiting for the bus, which happened to drive up at that moment.

 The doors opened and Taeyong stepped on first, pulling out his I.D. and smiling at the driver, who nodded. I followed suit, pulling out my I.D. and flashing a tired smile at the driver. He nodded at me as well, and I followed Taeyong towards the back doors of the bus, in hopes of collapsing onto a seat and managing to collect my thoughts. Unfortunately, though, there were no seats available. It was usual at this time that the bus would be incredibly crowded as everyone was trying to make it back to their apartments in the evening hours.

 I held onto the railing above me, so as not to crash into anyone when the bus made a particularly violent turn and tried my hardest to take deep breaths and ignore the lead tiredness that was starting to take hold of me. There weren’t too many stops from the school to our apartment, but in this moment, it felt like forever. As I looked out the window, I caught a glimpse of my own reflection; I was pale and clammy, and my hair was sticking to my forehead. Again, I brushed my hair back and took a deep breath.

 “Our stops next.” Taeyong mumbled to me.

 I simply nodded. He pressed the “stop” button, and we both pushed our way towards the door. It was hard to push through a sea of other students, and we were desperately trying to make it before the driver stopped. But, as I was trying to get through the mass, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me backwards.

 “What the hell?!” I gasped out, turning, confused and frustrated.

 A boy with light brown hair and wide eyes stared at me. His mouth fell open and he shook his head. He seemed confused and alarmed all in one, and I was getting slightly impatient at this point. I frowned at the boy, and he immediately went into apology-mode.

 “I am so sorry. I thought you were someone else!” He gasped out.

 Seeing as people were staring at us, I just nodded, sighing and offering a smile.

 “It’s fine. Happens to all of us.”

“Johnny, let’s go.” Taeyong’s voice caught my attention as the bus slowly came to a halt.

 I smiled at the boy again and he nodded, an embarrassed smile on his face, and I turned, following Taeyong off the bus. We stepped back onto the cold streets and looked around the familiar area. Our building loomed in front of us; something seemed daunting about it, but the sleepiness was gnawing so furiously on my mind that I was willing to overlook that.

 We crossed the street and went into the building, only to find that the elevator was “out of order.” Of course, on my longest and weirdest possible day, the elevator somehow found a way to be out of order. The coincidence of it all almost made me laugh, but instead, I just rolled my eyes and trailed behind Taeyong, up the stairs.

 Finally, after twelve flights of stairs, we walked into our room and were greeted by a familiar and friendly site. I threw my own room door open and tossing my bag to the ground, I collapsed upon the softness of my bed, sinking into it and feeling, finally, at peace. Every odd worry and strange thought was immediately wiped from my mind the moment that my head hit the pillow. I could feel sleep already taking over me, and I wanted to go with it. I wanted to fall into a deep sleep; I needed it at this point. But I heard my door being pushed open again.

 “So, you want to talk about what happened when we were walking home?”

“I was just imagining things.” I mumbled quietly.

“Are you sure? You seemed pretty shaken up about it.”

“Y-Yeah… I’m just…. Y’know…” I tried my hardest to form coherent sentences, but I was far beyond the barriers of language and grammar.

“Alright… Obviously, you’re way too sleepy to even put together a sentence so… We should just turn in for the night. You especially. We can talk about it in the morning. Sound good?”

 I made an attempt at a thumbs-up but miserably failed. He laughed softly at the failed attempt, and left my room, shutting the door behind him. I rolled over, knowing I’d regret falling asleep in my clothes but… At this point, I was just too tired to care.

 ***

 I woke up suddenly, bolting upright and staring around my dark room. What had caused my sudden alarm and awakening? I didn’t have a second to contemplate it, as a scream rang out from down the hall. I jumped out of bed and left my room, yanking the front door open. People were running towards the door that led to the stairs, with fear plastered on their faces.

 Confusion and panic swept through me, and I rushed to Taeyong’s door, banging my hand against it as it flew open. He was standing there, his eyes wide and fear clearly present in them. I tried to ask what was wrong, but the fire alarm went off. We quickly rushed to put our shoes on and I thought my questions were answered, but as we ran outside, I realized that the building was not on fire. Rather, just as I had seen earlier, there were shooting stars trailing overhead in the sky, but this time, they seemed to be falling towards the earth, and the result was-

 “Fire…” Taeyong whispered, his normally warm eyes, flushed with fear.

“We should go to campus…” I said, eyes nervously overlooking the flames.

“Yeah… They’ve probably got some system set up…”

 Following the mass of students from the buildings, we rushed our way through the crowd. Every now and then I got glances of people I recognized from our building or from our classes. Everyone looked terrified, several people were glancing up every now and then. The fire seemed to have spread, but away from the main campus. A small feeling of relief rushed through me…

 Everyone seemed to be heading for the closest entrances and because of that, there was a pileup of students waiting to get inside.

 “Why don’t we go through the psych building?” Taeyong whispered, pointing towards another building in the distance. “We can just go through there and get inside a lot quicker.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I nodded, realizing that he and I weren’t wearing jackets, and becoming painfully aware of the cold.

 We slipped away from the crowd and rushed off towards the building in the distance. I could hear his teeth chattering and a pang of guilt rushed through me. He was wearing a t-shirt and some PJ bottoms, while I was still in my sweater from earlier, with an extra shirt underneath, and a pair of jeans. I pulled my sweater off, thanking myself for wearing a long-sleeved shirt, and held it at him. He went to protest, but either the look on my face or his overwhelming coldness must’ve convinced him, and he took it- gratefully. Pulling it on, he seemed a lot warmer and smiled at me.

 As we reached the door, I pulled it open and let him in, following closely behind.

 “Might take us a while to find the opposite side of the building.” He whispered, looking around.

 He was right. The psych building was probably one of the oldest ones on this campus and happened to be extremely maze-like, and mildly terrifying.

 “Well, better start now, or we’ll be in here forever.” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

 He laughed softly and shaking his head, started walking down one of the paths. A few minutes later we hit a crossroad; one path led to a staircase and the other led down a different hall. He looked at me, frustration knitting his eyebrows.

 “What d’you think?”

“Well, if we’re trying to find the connection, and it’s on the upper floors… We should probably head upstairs…?”

“Yeah… Probably safer to go up and then get a view of where we are.”

 We walked up the stairs, the odd silence in the building was beginning to feel really unsettling. The stairs led to another door, which we walked through and led to another long hallway filled with dozens of doors. We started walking down the hall but, one set of doors caught my attention. The doors at the far end of the corridor; it was for one of those bigger lecture halls, but it was always locked with a sign on it reading “under construction.” The only difference this time was, it was slightly ajar.

 “Taeyong, that door is open.”

“What- Oh… Yeah. So?”

“It’s never been open… It’s always been locked… And there’s always been a sign on it saying under construction.”

“Someone must’ve run out in a panic and forgotten to lock it. It happens.”

“Maybe but…” My curiosity was burning, and I moved towards the door.

“Johnny, if it’s actually under construction then it’s not safe in there.”

“Let me just shut it…” I said, ignoring his strained voice.

“Hurry, then…”

 I moved forward, but instead of pulling it shut, I pushed it all the way open. My own gasp was drowned out by the sound of Taeyong swearing. He too seemed shocked at what was on the other side of the door.

 “What the hell?” I breathed out, stepping into the room.

 As I’d assumed, it was a large lecture hall type room. What was missing were the hundreds of seats and tables that students would sit at. Rather, there were several descending staircases that led towards the head of the room. Instead of a stage or platform where a professor would speak, there was some sort of machine. I turned and looked at Taeyong, who was standing a few steps away, eyes widened in fear.

 I looked back, my curiosity was only growing. I walked into the room and started down the stairs. I felt Taeyong grab my hand and pull me to a halt.

 “What?”

“Johnny, no… You don’t even know what that thing is. It could be dangerous.”

 And he was right, but I just needed to know. I needed to figure it out. I didn’t know what was compelling me to go up to it but, I had to figure it out.  

 “It’s fine. I’m not going to touch it. I just want to see.”

“Johnny, please… If we’re caught in here, who knows what they’ll do… We should just get going.”

“I won’t take long. I just want to know what it is.”

“O-Okay… But I’m not going to stay here.”

“Scared?” I smirked at him.

“You wish, you dumb, tall giraffe.” He grumbled and stomped ahead of me.

 I laughed and followed him down the stairs. As we reached the bottom, the machine loomed closer and ominously in front of us. There were four or five bathtub-like structures at the base of it, and in the middle, a control panel. I walked to the weird bathtub structures and looked more closely at them. They seemed to be filled with water, but it was probably some weird chemical that looked like water…

 “Johnny… Come look at this…” Taeyong’s voice wavered.

 I turned and walked towards the direction his voice was coming in, but I couldn’t find him. I looked around the empty hall, a slight panic filling me.

 “Taeyong? If you’re trying to scare me, it’s not funny-”

 I was cut off; the sound of footsteps caught my attention. I whipped around and saw Taeyong standing in front of another person, who was holding a knife to his throat. The man was wearing a mask that covered his entire face, and I could only see his eyes- which were grey and cold. My eyes widened, and I felt myself freeze. I was rooted to the spot, unable to move, speak, or think. Taeyong’s eyes shone in the light, full of fear and confusion.

 “Who are you?” The voice was cold and steely.

 I opened my mouth to answer, but the lump in my throat wasn’t allowing me to. What if I said the wrong thing? Would I lose my best friend? There was so much to risk, and I was pretty sure that not answering the question wasn’t an option. I stared at Taeyong, who shut his eyes and grit his teeth. My heart was sinking. How was this even real? How was this happening?

 “Who are you?” He repeated, tone unwavering.

“W-We’re just students.” I stammered out, my voice meek and soft.

“What are your names?”

“Jo-”

“Hey!”

 The three of us whipped around to see-

 “Ten?” I questioned my eyebrows knitting.

 The smaller boy, who seemed so friendly and meek earlier, stood there holding a gun. It was aimed at the man holding Taeyong at knifepoint. I didn’t think, that after all that had happened today, that anything else could really surprise me but, obviously I stood corrected. I stared at Ten, my head beginning to hurt.

 “Let him go.” Ten’s eyes were narrowed in a dangerous way.

“Looks like you showed up.”

“You’re hunting me, not them. Let him, and the other one, go.” His sweet voice was no longer present; it was as if he was a completely different person.

“There are consequences for running.”

“I ran because it was the only logical thing to do…”

“Saving your skin because you’re too scared?”

“I found a way to leave… Of course, I was going to take it.”

“No one can leave. There are laws.”

“I won’t go back. And you can’t take me. Now, let them go.  I won’t ask again.”

 Taeyong and I exchanged confused glances. I noticed his eyes frantically motion between his captor’s grip on him loosening, and my general direction. I suddenly realized what he was planning, and although it terrified me, it was a better plan than nothing. But just as he went to pull away, the man swiftly moved the knife away from his neck and down to his stomach, plunging it into him, eliciting a loud gasp.

 Taeyong’s eyes went wide, as he fell to his knees. My eyes widened, and I couldn’t find the words. He keeled backwards as the man started to run, but the sound of gunfire echoed through the auditorium and the man crumpled forwards, dead. Ten stood there, eyes dead and emotionless as he held the same position and stared at the body of the stranger.

 I rushed over to Taeyong. Sinking to my knees, I tried to quell the bleeding, but there seemed to be nothing I could do. I pressed my hands over the wound and he looked at me, eyes hollow as if the stars that were usually present in them were winking out. He tried to grasp onto my hand, but his shaky fingers couldn’t muster the strength. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

 “W-We’ll get you help. You’re going to be fine!” I gasped out, finally finding my words.

 He opened his mouth to speak but he just coughed, wincing and groaning in pain. Tears began to well in my eyes and I couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t die. This couldn’t be happening. How was this happening?!

 I turned around helplessly and looked at Ten. His eyes were full of sorrow and he sighed.

 “Call someone! Anyone! What are you doing just standing there?!” I yelled.

“It’s too late… He’s not going to make it.” He said, eyes filled with pity.

“That’s not up for you to decide!” Anger flooded through me.

“I’m sorry…”

“P-Please… He’s my friend… My only friend…” I whispered, tears falling freely, “I can’t lose him… He’s all I have.” I gasped out, shaking.

“J-Johnny…” Taeyong’s feeble voice caught my attention and I turned and looked at him.

 He smiled, weakly and opened his eyes slightly. I couldn’t help the sob that escaped me. I was going to lose my best friend… I was going to lose the only person who had tried to be a part of my life… And it was my fault. All of this was my fault.

 “D-Don’t… Don’t cry…” He gasped out, smiling at me and reaching his hand out to wipe my tears but recoiled instantly as pain rippled across his face.

“D-Don’t move… I’m going to get you help. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“N-No… Too late for me… Just… Don’t cry…” He whispered, eyes fluttering shut.

“No. No! NO! Taeyong, no!” I yelled, my heart racing as panic coursed through me.

 I turned back to Ten who was fiddling with something in his hands. I couldn’t even muster the anger to yell, to scream, to do anything. I felt defeated… How did this happen?

 “Alright, Johnny. When you wake up, remember, you asked for this.”

 I looked back at Ten. He looked tired and frustrated.

 “W-What?”

“I will help you save your friend. But remember, there are consequences. Every action has a reaction.” He looked at me with serious eyes.

“I-I don’t care… I just want to help him…”

“Alright. Hold on, okay?” His voice was noticeably warm.

 My eyes opened suddenly, and I snapped my head up off the desk on which my face was pressed against. My head spun as I'd moved too fast, and I gripped the edge of the desk, feeling an extreme wave of sickness passing over me… I looked around, confused and panicked. As I turned my head to my right, the sight beside me nearly made me pass out from shock, happiness, and confusion.

 Taeyong was sitting there, eyes directed forward at the professor. He looked at me and smiled warmly. I felt my legs lose all feeling and tears well up in my eyes. He noticed my expression and immediately looked concerned. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief flood my system. I looked around again, half expecting it all to fade away as if I were in a hallucination of some sort. But nothing happened. Everything stayed the same…

 Had I really just dreamed all of that? Was all of what I just witnessed a figment of my imagination? It seemed unrealistic and impossible… But somehow, it felt real. The sounds, the feelings, the scents… Those felt real. Not like something I’d ever experienced in a dream before. I stared at Taeyong, who was confusedly looking at me, pure concern lacing his eyes. I shook my head, running my hands through my hair and taking a deep breath. It was a dream. That’s why I was here, now, with him… That’s why he wasn’t…

 I couldn’t even think about it without feeling a sick nausea passing over me again. I shut my eyes and rubbed them, trying to rid myself of the thoughts about what had happened… That had been the most vivid dream I’d ever experienced… I heard the prof speaking up again, and I looked over.

 “Please remember, these studies help, not only you but the university and the graduate students who are running them. Anyway, make sure to read the next chapter from the textbook for next class, and that should be all the work that you are required to do this week. Have a good evening everyone.”

 The hall came to life, as it always would. People began to pack as if it were any other day. Everyone was chattering away, unaware of how I was feeling. Why did all this feel like such major déjà vu? If that had all just been a dream, why had it been so vivid and real…? Why had it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest? Why did the blood on my fingers feel so real?

 “Johnny? What’s wrong?” Taeyong asked, eyebrows furrowed.

 Standing up, I reached out and rested my hand on his shoulder. He looked at me, even more confused than before. I immediately grabbed him into the tightest embrace and tried my hardest to avoid crying right there. Shaking, I pulled away slowly and looked at him. He had the most confused look on his face, but grinned awkwardly at me anyway.

 “T-Thank you?”

“I… I had a bad dream.” I decided that was the safest way to state it.

“Really? ‘Bout what?”

“Well… There was a lot going on but… You… Died.” I looked at him quickly and he immediately started laughing.

“I what?!” He smiled widely at me.

 Although I was annoyed that he found the whole situation funny, I couldn’t help but smile too. Although Taeyong was a worrier, he was also light-hearted, and it was easy to forget your worries around him. He began packing up, but continually asked me to relive my dream to him.

 “I wanna know how I died! Was it heroic? Was I cool and dramatic?” He asked wiggling his eyebrows and giggling, not unlike a child.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed and pushed him slightly, “You’re an idiot, you know that right?”

“Yes. I do. Now tell me!”

“No! You’re going to make fun of me, and it was a serious dream. I was really worried about you. I really thought you’d died.”

“Don’t worry Johnny, I’m never going to die. I’ll always stick around to annoy you.”

“Oh great. Now I wish I hadn’t woken up.”

“Hey!” He pouted and pushed me slightly.

“I’m kidding.” I laughed, smiling at him, but I was reminded of his face covered in blood, and my heart sank again, “It just felt… So real…��

“Like, you’d already seen it once before kind of real, or like… Where it just feels unnaturally and tangibly real?” “The second one… It felt real. It honestly felt like right now. Everything that happened is literally what’s happening here. I had fallen asleep on the desk and then I woke up at the end of class and we left together. But on the way home, we were stopped by a boy, who I’d never met but you knew him, and anyway, we got home… And then there was this shooting star thing that happened, and they were falling to the earth and there was fire, so they were moving students to the main campus… And, we wanted to take a shortcut into the buildings and so we went through the psych building but then I wanted to explore one of the empty halls, and you were against it but then we saw this giant, strange machine so we went in. And when we were looking at it, you got captured by this guy and he held you at knife-point… And anyway… That guy from before, that you knew, showed up and he tried to bargain for your life, but the guy holding you stabbed you, and then the other dude shot him… And you were dying.”

 I looked at Taeyong, who was staring at me with wide eyes. Panic seized me; did he think I was insane? But my qualms were quelled a moment later as he burst into laughter. I sighed, rolled my eyes, and slinging my bag over my shoulder, I started towards the stairs. Still laughing, Taeyong followed suit and chased after me. He caught onto my arm and faked wiping a tear away.

 “You’re so annoying.”

“Not that it didn’t sound like the coolest dream in the history of dreams, but it was slightly unrealistic.”

“In what way?” I asked, laughing along now.

“I wouldn’t be the one to die. That would be you.” He said as seriously as he could muster.

“I was actually worried about you, and that’s all you can say.” I feigned hurt.

“Don’t worry Johnny. If it ever came to that sort of situation, I would protect you.” He winked at me.

“Yeah, I’d love to witness the day that you and those scrawny arms could protect anything.” I snorted.

“Wow, here I am trying to protect you and all you can do is insult me?”

“You deserve it. Making fun of me for being genuinely worried about you.”

“I told you, don’t worry. It was just a dream after all.”

 Although every rational part of me knew he was right, I couldn’t help but feel an inkling of worry. If the dream hadn’t felt so real, I didn’t think I’d be this fixated on it… But it had. It’d been the most real a dream had ever felt. I wasn’t sure I’d ever experienced something like that in my life. How was I supposed to just put it out of mind? Sure, to him, it might’ve been easy. But he hadn’t been the one to witness his best friend’s death- and real or not, that shit was traumatizing. I shivered slightly, trying my hardest to repress the vivid feeling and colour of the blood that had covered my hands.

 Looking around, I realized we’d managed to walk all the way to the bus stop- this time, with no disturbances from anyone. Maybe my subconscious had just made him up. I looked around, and this time, there was no one at the bus stop. There was, however, snow falling even more heavily than in the dream.

 “Odd.” Taeyong mumbled, pulling out his phone and checking the times again.

Leaning over his shoulder, I looked at the times, “There should’ve been one just now,” I mumbled.

“Yeah… I wonder what’s up.”

 From behind us, we heard someone talking loudly. We both turned to look at the source of the voice. My eyes widened when I realized who I was looking at. He had light brown hair and a wide grin. He was talking animatedly into the microphone on a pair of earbuds, and when he noticed us looking, his cheeks flushed, and he lowered his voice. Taeyong simply turned and looked back at the road, checking both directions to see if the bus was coming. I, however, stood there, rooted to the spot. My eyes focused only on the shorter boy, his conversation flying right over my head. That was the boy that’d stopped me on the bus. There was no mistaking it. He was real.

 “Taeyong, do you know who that is?” I leaned over, speaking quietly to him.

He glanced back and shrugged, “No, I’ve never seen him before. Why?”

“No reason…” I shook my head, not wanting to have him laugh at me again.

“You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He said, concern lacing his voice.

“Yeah… I just think that dream took a real toll on me.” I said, laughing weakly.

“Well, hopefully, the bus comes soon. Then we can get home, and you can get the rest that you need.”

“Yeah…”

“Hey, guys!” The familiar voice of the boy startled us both.

 We turned to look at him, and his cheeks were slightly pink; whether it was the weather or his embarrassment, I couldn’t tell. He stood there, nervousness seemed to fill the air, and he wrung his hands out awkwardly as if he couldn’t find the words to tell us what he wanted to say.

 “Hi,” Taeyong said, smiling.

“Sorry, if this is awkward and out of nowhere… But, I was just on the phone with my friend, and he told me the busses have been cancelled due to the snow.”

“Oh shit, really?”

“Yeah, he was also waiting for his bus, but it never showed. And he called the bus station, that’s when they told him that all the lines closed early tonight seeing as the snow started to really come down. I thought I’d just let you guys know… It’s better than just standing here for a few hours.”

“Thanks, we appreciate it.” Taeyong grinned.

“No problem, I’ll see you around then.”

“Yeah, see you.”

 He turned to walk away, but Taeyong immediately called out again.

 “Where do you live?”

“Oh, East Village housing-”

“We live there too!”

“Oh cool! We could walk together.” The boy immediately blushed again, and frantically stuttering said, “Only if you’d want to do that of course. I understand if you wouldn’t want to.”

“Not at all! It’ll be better than walking alone, right?”

“Definitely. Shall we get going then?”

“Sounds good. I’m Taeyong by the way, and this is Johnny.”

“I’m Mark.” He smiled shyly.

“What year are you in?” I asked, finally speaking up.

“First. And you guys?”

“Third year. Both of us.”

“Yeah, I suspected you were both older. Not that you look old!” He panicked again, eyes widening.

“Don’t worry.” Taeyong said while I laughed awkwardly, “We know we look old.”

“Ah, don’t take it that way.” He meekly smiled.

“Don’t worry, we’re not being serious. We’re actually the epitome of youth. Can’t you see?”

“Totally.” He nodded, feigning seriousness.

 We all burst into laughter. All my previous fears melted away; talking and laughing with both Taeyong and Mark made it easy to forget my worries. After all, I’d probably just seen Mark around campus somewhere, and that’s how he’d appeared in my dream so vividly. It was just a dream. Nothing else.

 As we were walking back, out of the corner of my vision, I noticed the psych building. I stopped, looking at it, my curiosity burning desperately within me. I bit my lip, wondering if it was worth the risk. Even though it wasn’t real, even though it had just been a dream, part of me was convinced there was something behind that door. I mean, obviously, my subconscious had forced it into my dreams as a way of conveying that I had the desire to know what was behind it… Right? I frowned, still stuck staring at the building, trying to make a decision.

 “What’s wrong?” Taeyong asked.

“Would you mind if we took a detour?” I asked, my voice sounding strangely unlike me.

“Why? And to where?”

“I want to go see inside the psych building.”

“Johnny if this is about the dream- I promise there is nothing weird in that building. Other than those experiment chambers, there is nothing else in there.”

“I know, I just… I need to make sure. I need to know that what I saw wasn’t real.”

“What’s going on?” Mark’s voice pierced my ears and I looked at him.

“He had a crazy dream and now he’s convinced it was real.” Taeyong sighed.

“Dreams are parallel universes, or at least… That’s what I believe.” Mark said shrugging.

“C’mon it’ll be quick.” I pleaded, looking back at Taeyong.

“I’m with Johnny. We should check it out!” Mark said, seriously.

“You can’t be buying into this!”

“What are you talking about? Dreams are terrifying. Of course, I want to check it out.”

“Oh my god, I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall.” Taeyong said, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Look at it this way, if I’m wrong-”

“Which you are!”

“-then you get to prove it. If I’m right, then we’ll see what I was talking about and then we can leave.”

“But you’re wrong!”

“But you won’t ever know for sure unless you check, right? And once we know for sure that I’m wrong, you can rub it in my face. C’mon… It won’t take me that long. I remember exactly where the room was. Plus, you get to use your favourite phrase: I told you so. You’ve literally got nothing to lose.”

Staring between us for a second, he sighed, “Fine, fine. But don’t think this means I’m on your side.”

 I sighed in relief, smiling at Taeyong, who weakly smiled back. Quickly, I set off at a brisk pace towards the psych building. I pulled out my phone, glancing at the time to make sure that this was occurring at a different time, before the last set of events had taken place. Luckily, we had time to spare. Nevertheless, I kept my speedy pace up, as we rushed into the psych building. We walked down a long and narrow hallway, as we’d done in the dream, and eventually came upon the same staircase. Looking back at them, I nodded and took the stairs two at a time. At the top of the stairs was a door which led to another extremely narrow hallway. The end of the hall had a set of double doors, leading towards what I’d always presumed to be a lecture hall under construction.

 “That’s it.” I pointed.

“You came all this way to look at a lecture hall door?” Taeyong groaned.

“No, I came to see what was on the other side of it.”

“Wouldn’t it be, oh I don’t know… A lecture hall?”

“No, it was something else. Some kind of machine… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Okay, fine. Go open it.”

 Feverishly, I rushed to the door. Gripping the handle, with a sweaty, shaky hand, I pushed in.

 As if being submerged in icy water, I gasped for air. It felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of me. There, in the room, just as it had been before was the same machine, and it was connected to the same five bathtub-like structures, which still appeared to be filled with a substance that bore a great deal of resemblance to water. I stared, unable to figure out how to respond to what I was looking at. And as if it were a perfect repetition of my dream, I heard Taeyong curse loudly. Mark, the only addition to the picture, uttered a soft and awed, “Woah,” all while stepping forward slightly.

 How could this be happening? How was any of this real?!

 “How is that real?” Taeyong’s trembling voice brought me back to the present.

“I don’t know…”

“What the hell is it?”

“I have no clue.” “Well, you dreamed it! And now it’s here? What is going on?!” He sounded panicked.

“I’m not sure…”

“Can we get closer?” Mark asked, stepping into the lecture hall, all caution thrown to the wind.

“No!” Taeyong gasped, pulling him back. “If your dream was anything like the truth, then there is no way I’m letting either of you near that thing. We don’t even know what it is?”

“I’m going to see what it is.” I said, already walking towards it.

 I heard Mark scramble after me, and after a few grumbling sounds, Taeyong gave in and followed as well. I was at the bottom of the stairs before I could even process it; my feet seemed to have gained their own will and control. My mind was a mess of static, confusion, and panic. Nothing and everything seemed real all at the same time. I walked towards what seemed to be the main part of the machine. There was computer built into the base of the machine, and it seemed to be on. I looked at the screen. It was black and there was a blinking cursor. I stared at it, fingers trembling as I reached out for the keyboard.

 “Who the hell are you?!” A voice echoed angrily.

 The three of us turned, panic flowing through me and my heart starting to madly beat. I already knew what was coming. Was I really going to put myself- and my friends- through this again?

 But instead of being the knife-wielding man that had nearly killed my best friend, it was someone else-

 “Ten?!” Taeyong said, confusion layering even more into his voice.

“Taeyong…” He said, a look of sadness flitted across his expression briefly, but it was gone in an instant. He looked around and when he saw me, he frowned. “What are you doing here?”

“I-”

“I would’ve thought you’d learned your lesson. I would’ve thought you’d brushed it off, in the least. You weren’t supposed to come back!”

“It just didn’t seem real… I had to know if it was a dream-”

“It wasn’t!” He yelled.

 I froze.

“S-So… What does that mean?”

“It means I rewound time… It means I broke every law there is, just to save your friend. And now you’re here. And if anyone catches you here, they will hurt you and your friends again. You can’t be here!”

 As he said that, screams started echoing around us.

 “The stars are falling… It’s happening earlier.” He whispered, looking at the watch on his wrist.

“What’s going on? Johnny? Ten? Someone answer me!” Taeyong’s voice was slightly raised, matching his anxious expression.

“Taeyong, I’m so sorry… You guys weren’t meant to be dragged into this.” Ten said, looking even more pained.

“Guys, I think someone’s coming.” Mark spoke up finally.

 He was right. The sounds of yelling came from behind the doors. And it wasn’t the terrified screams of students on campus. Rather, it was the sound of people yelling orders. I could barely make out what was being said, but their calm tones were a dead giveaway that we were in trouble. I looked at Ten, who had his eyes shut tightly, brow furrowed in concentration. I opened my mouth, to speak but his eyes snapped open first. He looked at the three of us, sadness too clearly present in his eyes, and sighed.

 “Alright, we don’t have much of choice at this point.”

“What are you talking about?” Taeyong took a step forward but Ten held up his hand, stopping him.

“Just… Hold on.”

 He walked over to the keyboard that was attached to the monitor, and leaning over, began typing furiously. None of us said anything as we were far too confused and taken back by what was happening. I looked at Taeyong, his eyes held nothing but confusion. Mark seemed to be in the same state, except it was much more evident in his face and actions. He was nervously looking at the doors and ringing his hands. I tried not to show how I was feeling, but it was difficult.

 “Alright. Get in.” Ten said, straightening and pointing to the bathtub structures.

“What?!” Mark yelped.

“If you want to live, get into the pods.”

“Ten… Please tell us what’s going on.” Taeyong put his hands-on Ten’s shoulders and pleaded.

“Taeyong, I’m trying to save your lives. Please… I’ll explain it when we’re somewhere that’s not here. If we wait any longer, we’ll all end up dead. Please. Just trust me.”

“I do.” I said, without thinking.

 Ten looked at me, a sort of gratitude blazed in his eyes. I nodded at him, and he looked back into Taeyong’s eyes. It was the sincerity in his voice that convinced me. I sighed and looked at the pods.

 “I’m trying to save you.” Ten said, desperation entering his voice, “We don’t have a lot of time.”

“O-Okay…” Taeyong said, hands shaking slightly as he took a step back.

 Mark looked even paler than before, as he robotically walked over to one of the pods. We all watched Ten as he rushed over to the machine and pressed a few more keys.

 “I’ve set it on a timer, we need to hurry.” He said and walked over to his own one and got in, lying down and crossing his arms.

 We all followed suit. Cautiously, I stepped into the watery substance. I let out a soft gasp, not expecting it to be warm. Removing my bag and setting it near my feet, I sat down. I gave Taeyong one last reassuring look. Although I didn’t know what our future held, I hoped that at least we’d be safe. He smiled, nervously.

 We both lay back, submerging ourselves in the liquid. It covered almost my entire body, except my face. I shut my eyes, confused and still waiting to wake up as if this was another dream. But nothing happened. I opened my eyes again, and to my surprise, a lid had appeared over the top of the pod. I reached my hand out to touch it, but suddenly I was falling.

 It was like no other experience in my entire life. The feeling of falling without the reassurance of an end. The feeling of my stomach going up as if on a never-ending roller coaster, made my head spin. I felt nauseous and out of breath. The thought of gasping for air entered my mind, but even trying to open my mouth seemed like a dangerous idea, as I was pretty sure at any moment I would throw up.

 But it suddenly stopped. Just like that. The falling stopped as I collided with the hard, solid ground. I lay there, confused and gasping for air, my chest heaving. My face was pressed against something that felt like concrete after the rain. The only feelings that I was aware of were that of my hands and knees which were stinging painfully from the collision, as well as the pounding in my head. The sudden pressure drop made my vision foggy and I was having trouble thinking. Slowly and carefully, I pressed my palms against the ground but hissed in pain as I retracted them immediately. Maybe I had damaged them a lot worse than I’d thought. I lay there, listening. The sounds of water dripping and hitting stones, echoed all around me. Water gently tricked somewhere, not far from me. That, coupled with the extremely hollow, empty droning, made my stomach tighten in anxiety. On top of that, the scents were overpowering. It smelled like wet mould, dirt, and decay. I was already feeling nauseous, but the smell only added to it, causing me to retch slightly. I needed to figure out where I was.  

 Using my forearms and elbows instead, I managed to push myself up off the cold floor. But overwhelming nausea caused me to bend back down. Gasping heavily, my mouth burned with the taste of bile. Finally, managing to push myself up, I turned as I got myself into a seated position, and looked around. It was dark, extremely dark. There was very limited lighting, coming from somewhere, but I couldn’t really tell. It seemed that most of the light was emanating from the vivid, sickeningly, greenish-blue pathway of water. It looked like I was in a sewer. The sudden sound of squeaking and hissing caused me to gasp and look around, but I couldn’t find the source of the sound due to the echoes skewing my perception. I swallowed, hard.

 Trembling slightly, I looked at my hands. They were covered in mud and blood. I grimaced and looked around. The floor which I was upon was wet and covered in dirt and grime. My head felt like it would split in two at any moment and I could barely think. Gritting my teeth and shaking immensely, I pushed myself to stand up. My legs shook as I put my weight on them, and I nearly keeled over right there but I managed to grip onto a wall that was to my right. Something was definitely wrong with my left ankle and putting weight upon was not an option. So, gripping the wall, I pushed myself to stand, and tried taking a shaky step. One by one, I limped closer towards the water. When I’d reached the edge of the platform I was on, I kneeled and looked down into the bright water. It seemed to go on forever. Looking left and right, it swirled off into the different paths and kept going far beyond my line of vision. The water cast an eerie, greenish-blue glow on the walls and on me.

 I wondered whether it was worth sticking my hands in there and washing them off but decided against it. Standing again, I looked around. There was just enough light for me to be able to make out pathways, one to the left and one to the right. I swallowed again, now quite aware of how dry my mouth and throat were.

 It suddenly struck me- Where was Taeyong?! And Mark, and Ten? Much too fast, I looked around again, causing my head to spin as I clutched the wall, feeling the bile rise to my mouth. I spat it out, retching and coughing. My head was pounding even harder if that was possible, and my throat was now burning. I breathed, heavily, and looked up slowly. I had no choice. If they weren’t here, I’d have to find them. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something lying there. Turning, carefully, I saw my bag. A feeling of relief seemed to flood through me. There was something comforting about having your stuff with you when you were completely alone.

 I limped over to it, picking it up and pulled it on. It hung to my right side and with every step I took it swayed, pulling my balance off slightly, but I’d have to get used to managing the extra weight. I looked around again, I had the option to go left or right. I bit my lip, feeling torn; there was no way to know for sure where the others were, or if they were even together. How was I going to find them? Closing my eyes, I listened to the sounds around me, hoping it would help me decide. I heard the same hissing and squeaking coming from somewhere to the right.

 “That’ll have to do.” I whispered, my voice echoing off the walls.

 Walking slowly, still holding onto the wall, I followed the right path. My eyes were finally adjusting to the dark tunnels, and I was finally able to get used to the scent. Walking too had become slightly easier, although the pain was still there, it had begun to dull. I walked and walked and walked, losing track of how long I’d been doing it. I couldn’t tell what was going on, I had no perception of time. All I could do was keep walking, in hopes that eventually I would come across someone or something.

 I’d been following the sounds of, what I could only hope were rats. Their scurrying feet pattering in the water, the sounds of them squeaking loudly in terror and anger as they fought with one another, it all made me feel tightly wound. I sighed, shakily. I was terrified, and I had nothing but my bag to hold onto.

 That’s when the scent hit me; it wasn’t strong but even the smallest whiff caused me to feel ill. It was disgusting. Like rotted, decaying trash, something that was so sickening it made your head spin… That’s what it smelled like. I covered my mouth, continuing to walk. But the scent only got stronger, and with it, the sound of rats became louder and louder. I had a chilling feeling I knew what I was going to encounter, but that didn’t make it any easier.

 I knew what was coming, even before I rounded the corner. The smell was so overpowering that I had to press my face against my sleeve, yet it still somehow permeated the cloth. I turned the corner, dreading what I was about to see, knowing I’d regret it. But I didn’t have much of a choice. As I rounded the corner, and my eyes landed upon it, I stumbled backwards. Unable to stop myself, I crashed, falling backwards and crawled as far as I could, before vomiting violently. I heard more rats gathering, and I knew I’d have to get away from them before they could come near me, but my head was spinning. Trembling even harder than before, I stood again. I felt drained. I looked back over, my stomach ached, and I stared at it…

 A body. A human body… Or what was left of it anyway. From the minimal lighting, you could see the decay… And it wasn’t pretty. Most of the person was missing due to the rats, which were here in great numbers fighting over this source of food. They’d managed to get down to the innards of the person, and from where I was, something that looked suspiciously like intestines were spilling out of them. Yet, mixed in with the blood and guts, I saw several metal parts. I held my breath, feeling sick, and walked around the corpse. My head felt lighter and even more painful than before. What the hell was going on here…?

 As I walked away, I turned to look back every now and again, a feeling of ominous dread hanging over me. How had that person died? Had something killed them? My mind was swirling with questions, but I knew I wouldn’t get answers- at least not until I found Ten.

 From up ahead, I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps. My heart leapt into my throat and ignoring all the pain my body was feeling, I broke into a sprint. The pain in my ankle was searing now, but the adrenaline was fueling me to push forward. As I rounded another corner, relief, happiness, and exhaustion all hit me.

 “Taeyong.” I gasped, my legs feeling weak and shaking even harder.

 The three boys turned around, eyes wide. Taeyong gasped, and even from here I could see the tears filling his eyes. He rushed towards me, embracing me tightly.

 “I thought I’d lost you.” He whispered, gasping.

“Never.” I mumbled, pulling away and smiling at him weakly.

 He seemed to be in the same banged up condition as me. Dirt, grime, and blood covered his face. I touched his cheek, where a gash was bleeding. He shook his head and smiled at me, reassuring me he was okay, but it hurt to see him like this.

 Looking over at Mark and Ten, they too were looking exhausted and dirty. Ten smiled at me and nodded, eyes softening and a seeming relief overtaking him. He looked alright; he had several scratches and bites on him, but nothing too bad. I looked at Mark, who grinned but somehow looked worse than all of us. A cut had appeared above his left eye, which was swollen and bleeding. He had several bite marks on his hands and arms and he seemed to be shaking.

 “We should hurry before the rats smell the blood.” Ten mumbled, looking exhausted.

 I nodded, and Taeyong and I joined them and continued walking. The silence seemed to become strained now that I was there. I was burning with a thousand questions, but I wasn’t sure how to ask them. I didn’t know if Ten even wanted to talk. I, for one, was exhausted and talking seemed like it would take the last bit of energy I had left, out of me.

 “I know you want to ask something so… Ask.” Ten chuckled, wincing slightly, grabbing at his side.

“Are you ok?”

“Are any of us ok?” He asked, smiling coldly.

“Right…” I whispered.

“I’m not mad at you. I was. But I’m not anymore.” He said, glancing sideways at me.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I would’ve had to come back here eventually.”

“Ten… Where is… Here?”

“A dream.”

“What?” I stopped dead in my tracks.

“We’re trapped in a dream.”

“You’re crazy…”

“Look… Believe me or don’t believe me, I’m telling you the truth. We’re trapped inside someone else’s dream. It’s more of a nightmare, to be honest with you but… This is someone else’s subconscious.”

“You’re crazy.” I repeated, even more terrified and taking a step backwards.

“Johnny. I don’t know how to convince you of this. 3 years ago, we were brought here. It was a project that a science company created. The company was known as Science Modern.” “Why does that sound familiar?”

“It should be. There was a huge lawsuit filed against them. It was in the news for ages. They went bankrupt.”

“So… What happened?”

“They tried to create a machine that would allow you to enter a test subject’s dreams. They were actually doing really well. They created the machine, that was the easy part.”

“That’s supposed to be the easy part?”

“They needed live subjects. But with something that could go so wrong, the Board of Ethics would never pass them. Experimenting on people is something that can have serious repercussions. You’re in the psych program, you should know that. Anyway… They were desperate. They needed more money, and they needed results. So, they put out ads for young people. People who wouldn’t necessarily be missed. People who could disappear and no one would question it. Anyway, eventually, they gathered enough people. Most of them were just desperate for money…” There was a distinct pause, but he continued, as if nothing had happened, “And then, they eventually started experimenting.”

“What happened?”

“The first subject died. The process was so taxing on his body, that his heart gave out. Science Modern successfully covered it up, saying he was a boy who was working on another project and had a series of heart defects… No one said another word, after all, it was a science company that was making these claims, and they’d never get their information wrong… They continued testing. The second person managed to last for a few hours, but he too eventually had a heart attack. Science Modern realized that technically live patients weren’t going to cut it. They needed to find someone who was… Alive but not really.”

“Comatose patients…” I whispered, horrified.

“Exactly. They managed to convince a family to sign over their comatose son… And it worked. The boy was barely alive but because he wasn’t technically living, nothing bad seemed to be happening. So, they went with it.”

“That’s disgusting…”

“It gets worse… They realized that they needed people who were willing to go into the person’s subconscious. But because they had a limited number of scientists, who weren’t expendable, they needed civilians. At least until the method was perfected.”

“Holy shit…”

“Yup… The remaining people who’d signed up? They sent them into the comatose patient’s subconscious, along with guards who were basically robots, not knowing if they could get the people out or if they would die… And it worked. They managed to put people into the dreams, people were freely able to explore and act on their own volition within someone else’s mind… But the major downside was that they couldn’t leave. These young people, including children, were trapped inside someone’s mind. Anyway… Someone in Science Modern suddenly grew a conscience and decided to rat out the whole operation. Most of the members and scientists fled and changed their identities, but the CEO was sued. The public never found out what he was sued for but… The company ended up going bankrupt.”

“So… You’re…”

“Yeah. I’m one of the people who signed up.” His voice broke slightly as did my heart.

“All of the people here are young. We’ve been trapped for what feels like forever. There’s no concept of time here. Everyone just exists. And it doesn’t help that the mind of this boy is obviously very troubled… I told you, this world isn’t safe. These aren’t dreams of someone who hasn’t suffered a trauma… This boy is very ill… And what’s worse is that those AI guards have evolved their own conscience… They believe they’re doing the right thing, keeping us here. Them, mixed with the monsters that live in this boy’s mind… Well, it’s safe to say that this is about surviving. The remaining victims, we grouped together and formed a sort of resistance. We called ourselves Neo Culture Technology… As an oppose to Science Modern… It feels cheesy to say it now but, it helps us stay close and feel united. It feels like we’re really fighting for something.”  

“But, how’d you escape?”

“I found one of the scientist’s workbooks. Must’ve been mistakenly sent in at some point. Well, he had notes on maybe a successful way to evacuate the survivors from here. But nothing was solid yet. I decided I didn’t have much of a choice. I had to see if any of his plans were solid. The method was basically to rework the machine that Science Modern had created and make a gateway out. One of the boys actually managed to build one, but I wasn’t about to send a bunch of terrified and innocent people through it… So, I decided I’d go through. If it worked, I’d find a way to get back and help the others come through.”

“What if it didn’t…?”

“If not, I’d die… But that would be a better fate than what I was living in…”

 He looked weary and regretful. I placed a hand on his shoulder and shaking his head, as if trying to rid thoughts from his mind, he smiled at me weakly.

 “Anyway, it worked. I found myself in the real world, in the middle of nowhere. I walked for days trying to find someone or a sign of life. I ended up hitching rides with strangers until I found out about your school.”

“The university?”

“I heard rumours that the machine had been moved there, under tight security. So, I made my way there. I blended in, went to classes, tried my best to seem like I was part of the student life. And then I found the machine. But… I didn’t know how to activate it or if I’d even end up in the same world I had started in. I couldn’t be sure of anything… So, I had to test the machine. Unfortunately, on one of these days, Taeyong happened to walk into the room.” He smiled wryly.

I looked at Taeyong who shrugged, “Ten already told us what happened but… I don’t really recall any of this.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t…  I had to rewind time…”

“But how-” “The AI guards have capabilities to rewind time. Since they’re artificial intelligence, and because it’s a dream world, there are no set consequences for them- for the living, it was a different case… They would often rewind time when someone died and force them to relive it. It’s their method of torture… And fun…” He shivered involuntarily but continued, “I got into a tight spot with one of them. I killed it and managed to take it apart. I found the component that allowed them to rewind time and removed it. We used a lot of the parts I’d found from it to make the escape pod… Anyway, I hung onto the complex and it came in use… But, in the real world, it had obvious consequences. The falling stars? That’s my fault. When I rewound real time, it became extremely clear that the world wasn’t used to spinning in reverse and that it caused massive shifts in real time… Things that weren’t meant to happen for another hundred years would occur much faster. That’s why I was so hesitant to rewind time when Taeyong died… I knew something else would happen and I was already responsible for one mistake, I wasn’t sure if I could handle two… But you looked so upset.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Thank you for doing it…” I whispered, looking at my shoes, “I don’t understand… If you could rewind time, couldn’t you go back far enough to before the whole situation happened?”

He chuckled and shook his head, “They only rewind for a few hours, if you’re lucky. Most are only meant for a few minutes… It wouldn’t work. And now the component I had is dead. It was pretty low in power when I first got it and using it to rewind in hours must’ve taken a real toll…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’d rather see Taeyong living too. So, we’re now here again. But, the good thing is, I can send you three through when we get back to our base camp. We’re almost there now.”

“What-”

“You three shouldn’t be here in the first place. So, when we get back to the base camp, I’ll send you through. The rest of us will shortly join you, I promise.”

“What about those people who were chasing you?”

“Those were the AI guards. Almost seemed human, didn’t they? They’re built like humans… Flesh, blood, bone… But they’re made of parts like a machine. They have their own mind and can make connections… They’re smart, but we’re smarter. We’ve managed for as long as we have so…”

 I was about to ask him another question when he pointed. We all followed his gaze and hand and looked to see a door. He smiled brightly and sighed.

 “This is it. Shield your eyes okay?”

“What?”

 He walked towards the door and pushed against it. As it opened, blinding light poured in. All three of us ducked our heads downwards, wincing and gasping. Ten, shielding his eyes, took a step forward and breathed deeply. Fresh air hit my lungs and I gasped. It was overwhelming. I looked up, slowly moving my hand away from in front of my eyes, to see a forest expanding largely in front of us. My mouth fell open, and I glanced at Taeyong and Mark who also seemed perplexed.

 “It’s a dream, boys… It’s never what you think.” Ten said, stepping out into the evening glow of the setting sun.

 Taeyong and Mark followed, with me closely behind. As I put my foot down on the fresh earth, and the scent of the evening reached my nose, I felt pain and emotion overwhelm me. The sounds of birds twittering in the glow of the sun, a river rushing downstream, and even the small critters squeaking loudly all seemed so foreign. My eyes, still adjusting to the sudden brightness, picked up little dots of colour scurrying around in the golden light. Trees, taller than I’d ever seen in my entire life, reached towards the sky, branched out and created a dappled light texture that fell upon my skin. I breathed in; the smell of rain and dirt and life all consumed me as I stood there. Ten looked at me, a sad smile gracing his lips.

 “It seems beautiful, right? The boy whose head we’re in… He was a painter. He used to sit and watch these scenes for hours. Very talented boy.”

“How do you know?”

“He was my friend.” Ten said, blinking suddenly, and looking down, avoiding eye-contact.

“Your friend?”

“Yeah… Best friend actually… He stuck with me through some tough stuff. And uh… He was in an accident and that’s when the coma happened and now… This…” Ten’s eyes glazed over slightly.

 I wanted to comfort him, but… I didn’t know what to say.

 “Ten, I’m sorry…”

“It sucks, dude, but… You move through it. You learn from it.”

“That’s brave.”

“Maybe.” He sighed, “Anyway, we should hurry. Sun’s setting… That’s when it becomes less beautiful.”

 We followed along behind him, looking around in awe at the world around us. It was beautiful. Absolutely every detail seemed real. Ten’s speech still had me reeling. It was difficult to digest it, but I had to. I couldn’t really tell what was real anymore and what wasn’t. But everything here… All of it seemed to be real. It felt so incredibly real.

 “There.” Ten’s voice suddenly rang out.

 He pointed to a tree. But it wasn’t an ordinary tree. It had three platforms that ran up its trunk. Each platform had cabin-like structures. There were stairs that led to each level, and even from here, you could see people walking along the levels.

 Mouth open, I looked at Taeyong and Mark, who also seemed very awestruck. Ten saw our expressions and laughed.

 “It looks good right…? This is our current hideout. We have several for any time we have to move suddenly.”

“You built this?” Mark asked.

“No. Fourteen people is not enough to do something like this… The boy in the coma… This is his doing.”

“Fourteen?”

“There’s fourteen of us…” Ten said, smiling sadly, “That’s all that remains.”

“How many did you start with?”

“There used to be fifty subjects. Most of them died from the monsters in here, some of them were caught by the AI guards. Others just went missing. Now it’s the fourteen of us left.”

“That’s horrible.” Taeyong said, in a soft voice.

“That’s life…” Ten sighed and began walking forward.

 He waved his hand upward and jumped up and down. Several people noticed and began to wave back, but, I’m assuming, from seeing us, they immediately froze and began talking to each other. Ten simply kept walking forward. I looked at the other two and nervously smiled.

 “They don’t look very happy to see us.” I mumbled softly, so Ten wouldn’t hear.

“They’re probably just being cautious. This world seems dangerous.” Taeyong said.

“How did you guys end up getting hurt?” I asked, staring at their injuries.

“When I crashed, I guess,” Mark said softly, “I landed in the middle of a rat nest. There were so many… I ended up running into a wall trying to get away from them and got cut on a rock that was poking out.” He pointed to the cut above his eye. “And well, the swollen part was because I ran into the wall.” He winced.

“And you?” I asked nodding to the cut on Taeyong’s cheek.

“Ten had a blade on him… I ran into it.” He laughed sheepishly.

“Idiot…” I chuckled.

“That’s me.” Taeyong grinned and shook his head, “Where were you?” “Quite far from you guys… I think… I couldn’t really tell how much time had passed.”

“Yeah, it was difficult for us as well. By the time I’d found Taeyong it’d felt like hours had already passed.”

“You guys were also split up?”

“Yeah… But, Ten seemed to find me relatively fast.” Mark said, shrugging.

“He probably knew his way around down there.” I looked at the smaller boy up front.

“Probably-”

“Guys, c’mon!” Ten turned around a bright smile on his face.

 We had reached the base of the tree and another boy was standing there waiting. He had a giant smile on his face, dimples showing deeply on cheeks. He seemed to have a gentle air about him like he was patient and kind. He had messy, dark blonde hair, with dark, but kind eyes. When Ten was within arm’s length, he threw himself onto the other boy, hugging him tightly. The boy laughed and hugged him back, and I could see tears welling in his eyes.

 “You’re back.” He said in a soft, yet deep voice.

“Did you doubt it?” Ten said smiling brightly.

“Never.”

“Guys, this is Jaehyun.” Ten said, introducing us.

“And you’ve brought… Friends?”

“It’s a long story… They’re from the real world.”

“Why would you bring people back?” He asked, panic suddenly rising in his voice.

“Well, it’s not a big deal. We can send them back. Jaehyun, we can go home now.” Ten said, grabbing hold of his hand excitedly.

“Ten…” Jaehyun’s eyes widened and he sighed.

“Wh-What happened?”

“The AIs… They found it and seized it.”

“N-No… No way…”

“We tried to stop them, but we couldn’t. They almost killed Renjun in the process. I had to make a choice.” Jaehyun’s eyes were begging for forgiveness as his voice broke slightly.

“I understand.” Ten said, smiling, “You did the right thing, Jaehyun. Don’t look so worried.”

“I’m so sorry…” He sighed, looking at us.

Turning, Ten sighed and looked at us, “Looks like you’ll be here a little longer than I expected. I’m sorry but, until I can get that machine back… You’ll have to stay with us.”

 I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. The entire world had been thrown upside down in a matter of a few hours, and I couldn’t even find the words to express what I was feeling. Exhaustion, confusion, absolute fear? Nothing seemed to capture all that I was feeling. I just nodded, knowing my voice would betray me and show the fear I was feeling.

 “As long as you remain with us, nothing will happen to you. I promise.” Ten said, eyes locked with ours.

“I believe you.” Taeyong said softly, smiling sadly.

“Thank you…” Mark nodded.

“I’m sorry this had to happen, but we’ll gladly stay with you if you let us.” Taeyong added.

“Of course.” Ten said, smiling, “Jaehyun, this is Johnny, Taeyong, and Mark.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” He said, nodding.

“Jaehyun is good at keep track of everything.” Ten said.

“Are you the leader?” Mark asked, looking at Jaehyun.

“Oh no. We don’t really have a leader. No one’s stepped up to the job. We just function.”

“A leader would be nice, but no one has the skills.” Ten said, sighing.

 We all began to walk up the stairs. With every step we took, my legs began to feel more and more like lead. I had no energy left to ask them where we were going, all I could do was follow.

 “We’re taking you to the infirmary.” Jaehyun said, looking back at us.

“Thank god.” Mark laughed, the exhaustion starting to show on his face.

“You’ve been through a lot it seems.” He said, smiling gently at us.

“Not as much as you.” I said without really thinking, but he stopped in his tracks, staring at me.

“That’s very kind of you.” He said, tilting his head and letting out a soft hum.

“Y-You’re welcome.” I said slightly flustered.

 We kept walking up the steps, and at the third and final platform, we walked off onto it. I noticed that no one seemed to be around. It was eerily quiet, except for the sound of the surrounding wilderness. The sun had finally set by this point, and the inky blue sky was starting to glow with stars that were showing themselves. I was in awe, staring upwards at the sky- it was beautiful.

 “This is it.” Ten said, leading us into a cabin.

 It was well furnished- with things you wouldn’t expect to be in a forest. At the end of the room, a monitor screen was hooked up to a boy who lay on a bed, with a ventilator over his mouth. I stared at him, confused. The boy had rounded features and light brown hair, he seemed to be a little younger than me, but there was something about him. His features seemed expressionless.

 “Isn’t this the forest?” Mark asked, staring.

“I told you, it’s a dream… Things don’t have to make sense.” Ten said, softly.

“That’s-”

 Ten looked at me and nodded before I could finish. He walked towards the bed and I followed. I stared at him and a sort of sadness filled me. I glanced sideways at Ten, wondering how he was. He had a fond look in his eyes and glanced at me. He smiled and sighed.

 “Yeah… This is him.”

“How is he here?”

“Don’t ask me… There are some things that even I don’t really understand. All I know is this is really his body.”

“Ten… I have a question.”

“Hm?”

“If he gets hurt-”

“We’ll probably die.”

“Right…”

“If his brain is damaged any more in any way… This world will cease to exist. Brain activity doesn’t occur in coma patients but… Some of them can dream, which scientists still don’t know how to explain. There was once when his ventilator got loose, and he wasn’t getting oxygen… The world literally began crumbling all around us. It was a close call.”

“That’s terrifying.”

“It was… But, that’s not why I take care of him. But it is another incentive to make sure he stays safe, but…” He trailed off, lost in thought.

“Will he ever wake up?”

“Maybe. I really hope so… When we find a way out, he can be brought to a real doctor.” Ten said, looking at me, tears present in his eyes, “They’ll know what to do… And even if they don’t, he’ll get the proper care he deserves.”

“You said he was your best friend.”

“He is my best friend. He’s still there… I know he is.”

“What’s his name?”

“Kun.”

“Guys, you should get some rest.” Jaehyun’s voice brought me back to the present.

 I nodded, suddenly extremely aware again of the tiredness and pain I was feeling.

 “You should probably wash up first. Get those cuts cleaned as well.” Jaehyun commented.

“Probably.” Taeyong yawned.

 Wistfully, I looked at the clean beds and nodded. Cleaning up now would be a good idea. A hot shower to clean all the blood and dirt and grim off me sounded heavenly. Jaehyun led us towards the back of the medical cabin, where there were showers. He opened a cupboard, getting out three towels and handing them to us. He also found some extra clothes: three plain, white shirts and three brown shorts, in sizes as best as he could match to us.

 “After you’ve showered, you should definitely get some well-deserved rest.”

“Thank you, for showing us all this kindness.” Taeyong said.

“Thank you for getting Ten back to us safely.” Jaehyun’s eyes softened and he nodded to us, “I hope you sleep well.” He turned and nodded to Ten then left the room.

“Get showered. Then rest. You’ll have plenty of time to explore later.”

“Thank you again, Ten.” I said, sighing.

“Not a problem.”

 We all got into the individual showers and began washing ourselves off. The hot water hit my back and I swear I could’ve fallen asleep right there. The cuts on my hands and knees stung but I knew they were being cleaned so I could bear with it. When I finally felt clean, I grabbed the towel and dried myself off, then wrapping it around my waist, walked out of the shower and pulled the fresh clothes on. It felt so good to be clean and washed.

 I walked over to the beds and saw Mark and Taeyong already fast asleep. Although I was tired, I wanted to smell the clean air again, so I walked out of the cabin and to the edge of the platform, leaning against the railing that was there. The wind rustled my hair, and I realized that rain was falling gently. I looked at the sky, the stars were faded by a thin veil of clouds that blurred them. The sound of rain pattering against the leaves, while crickets chirped away, and owls hooted every now and then, although foreign and strange to me, was extremely comforting. I felt calm and peaceful for the first time since I’d woken up in the psych classroom…

 It was almost laughable. How far away that felt now… How very odd and strange to think that just a few hours ago my biggest concern was my grade…

 I let out a short laugh, sadness beginning to overwhelm me. What if I was never able to go home again? What if this is how we had to live forever? What if we’d spend the rest of our lives running? All of it would be my fault. I’d gotten Taeyong and Mark into this mess too… I gripped the railing tighter, ignoring the sharp stings of pain I felt in my hands, frustration and confusion pulsing through me. Was this even real?

 I felt a hand on my back, and I turned my head to see Ten.

 “Oh… Hey.” I said, quietly.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“I just wanted to listen…” I nodded outwards.

“Yeah, I get that… It’s beautiful to just listen to the world.”

“Yeah…”

“But, that’s not all, is it? Something’s bothering you.”

“I just… I feel so stupid. If it hadn’t been for me, Mark and Taeyong wouldn’t be here.”

“Trust me, Johnny… Guilt can kill a person. You’re better off accepting their forgiveness. They would never hold this against you.” He rested his forearms against the railing and leaned forward slightly.

“How do I just forgive myself?”

“You won’t… Not for a long time. I think you have to find it in yourself. You have to learn that… It’s okay to make mistakes and that we’re all going to make them. Sometimes, our mistakes make us better people.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“You’d be kidding yourself if you thought there wasn’t one person in the world who didn’t have regrets… Or guilt…” His voice heavy.

“You seem to have a lot knowledge, for a kid that is.” I smiled, nudging him gently.

“Just cause you’re an old man, doesn’t mean we all are.” He said, grinning slightly.

A secondary feeling of guilt washed over me, “I’m sorry… For what happened today.”

“I told you. I forgive you. I would’ve had to come back anyway. Truth is Johnny, I was scared to come back. I was scared that more of my friends might’ve died… The people here, this group we’ve formed, they’re like family to me. Without them, I’d be nothing. The thought that any single one of them could’ve died… It terrifies me.”

“That makes you a good friend.”

“Some would say that makes me foolish.”

“Not me.”

“Then that would make you foolish.” He grinned.

“Who said I wasn’t.” I smiled back.

 He turned and looked at me, eyes shining in the darkness. He looked like he wanted to say something important, so I faced him as well.

 “I want to ask you something.”

“Go ahead.”

“You have all the choice in the world, if you three want to leave tomorrow morning, you’re more than welcome. However, I… I really do think all of us could benefit if you decided to stay. We’d have more people and you’d have a safe place to stay.

“I’m sure the boys feel the same way. I know I do.”

“Then… Don’t just stay… Become part of the group.” As an afterthought, he said, “You’d all make great additions.”

“Become part of Neo… Uh, what was it?”

“Neo Culture Technology.” Ten said, smiling.

“You really sure you want us? What about the rest of your group.”

“It’s a resistance, Johnny. We’re fighting the injustice we’ve experienced. No matter what, we’ll always accept those who are willing to fight. Those willing to try.”

“I can’t speak on behalf of Taeyong and Mark, but… I’ll join.”

“Good.”

 Ten stuck his hand out and I stared at him for a second. He smiled, and I smiled back. I gripped his hand tightly and shook it. As we let go, he sighed gently.

 “Welcome to Neo Culture Technology, Johnny.”

“Glad to be here…”

“You should get some sleep.” He said, patting my back, “I’m gonna head to my room. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

 As Ten walked away, I looked back out at the scene in front of me. If this was what life chose to give me, then I would take it and work with it. There was no saying what Taeyong and Mark would do, although deep down I knew they would stay, I, for sure, was going to stay and fight for as long as I was needed. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. Opening my eyes again and staring out at the horizon, I smiled slightly.

 “NCT, huh?”

[jordan202]

Hi Jordan, how are u? Did u watch premiere? Although who knows what’s coming down the road for Omelia we should be happy with what we got last night, they are so great together! So, Teddy didn’t take the job? But she will be regular? Hm... Where do u think that is going? Also KMK said on twitter and in an interview when asked who does he think Owen will choose, that he might not get a choice. What do u think of that (once u see the eps)? I have a theory but will wait for urs before I share mine.

hey :) I am doing well, how are you doing?

I confess I still haven't watched the entire premiere (not because I haven't wanted to, I simply haven't had the time to sit down for an hour and a half to watch the whole thing) and thats the main reason why I haven't commented on that yet but I have received so many lovely asks from you lovely people that I thought I should at least comment on what I have seen. I did however watch all the Omelia scenes (which is something I really don't like doing, spoiling myself, but it was Omelia and I couldn't resist it after being bombarded with spoilers), so that’s why I feel I can comment on those.

I agree with you that the drama will come at some point for Omelia, but you know, I am glad they are kind of giving them a break and letting them be for a while. :)  We have had such an unfair balance of good to bad moments for Omelia lately (much more rough stuff in the last batch of episodes than the sweet stuff we got on seasons 11 and 12) so it’s good seeing them have a chance to shine and at least enjoy life for a bit. Life is full of ups and downs, not just downs, so having characters miserable all the time is kind of unrelatable.  And watching scenes such as the ones we saw on episodes 1 and 2 really put me in the vibe I have been missing for so long! :) 

About Teddy: yeah, she didn't take the job but to be honest I didn't expect her to. I haven't been reading much about whats going on BTS but a very good friend of mine has mentioned in several occasions that KR doesn't seem to be doing a lot of filming on set and to be fair, I think they are going to drag this “Teddy has yet to tell Owen about the pregnancy” drama for a while (I think that based on what we know is coming for Maggie - she is gonna have a hard time keeping this secret that she’s learned through a medical confession, so I am assuming she will watch Owen and Amelia building this amazing thing together while unable to say anything and that’s gonna eat her alive. Because let’s just be honest, Owen has the right to know). So I wasn't expecting them to keep her around much, I actually had a feeling from the start that they would bring her in to tell the audience about the current condition but not really make Owen and Amelia aware yet. That gives the show the opportunity to explore some of Omelia’s past and present and really solidify what’s going on between them, make them closer, more attached... only to drop the bomb at the most blissful moment.

We all know Grey’s. Its how they operate (no pun intended). There is a crescendo, expectation, you come to a point where you think “oh this is great, FINALLY things are working out!” and then they take it down by crashing it to the ground. Sometimes literally. And the narrative goes on in this roller coaster kind of rhythm, where they are bringing characters to a high and low periodically. So, I think for now Omelia will enjoy their break (and we will surely enjoy watching that :D) but I wouldn't be surprised if they had Teddy confessing the “Yo I am pushing 55 but I got knocked up on the first time we had sex even though you have been trying to plant your seed in every women you’ve met since you were like 19 and that has never worked before but for some reason it has worked perfectly with me!” to Owen in the winter finale, just to torture us with another hiatus of an unresolved situation.

I really don't think they are solving this quickly. I mean, I know KV and friends have seriously turned the pace last time around (we went from a very dragged and depressive/deep season 13 to a very fast paced, shallow season 14) but I think (or at least hope) that from now on the show would find more balance. So yeah, if I had to bet, I’d bet on Teddy not breaking the news anytime soon. That keeps expectation, torture us (and Maggie) because we see Amelia and Owen building something while knowing there is a huge bomb coming their way, drags the story for a lot of episodes and gives the writers the chance to rebuild Omelia (not making a reference to Owen’s speech on 11x22 about building themselves to be destroyed again over and over but yeah, I am lol)

I haven't read KMK’s twitter about the statement you quoted, but I would assume there is no choice to be made because clearly he’s already chosen. I mean, Teddy reappeared out of nowhere and while one could expect Owen to be puzzled by the sudden reappearance and try to go after her, at least to make amends regarding their friendship, he didn’t even bother digging a little deeper. Instead, he was focused on Amelia and when she said she’d understand if he went after Teddy in the case he had feelings for her, Owen’s reaction was to kiss Amelia and reinforce he wants them to be steady and serious and have strings. So I really don't think the show could fit a “Owen and Teddy love each other and wanna be together” scenario, especially after the many ways Owen has proved Teddy was absolutely right about assuming the things he said to her were completely untrue. So I am guessing the drama won’t come in that shape but rather something entirely. What exactly, there are many possibilities. 

There is also the point of: does Teddy really want to be with Owen? After everything he’s done, said and showed to her? I don’t think that’s any woman’s dream, being with a guy who obviously doesn't love her (at least not in a romantic sense), who clearly has feelings for another woman (and by another woman I mean a very adorable, very sassy brunette neurosurgeon) simply because she is carrying his child. Allegedly. Hahahaha. let's leave it at that for now. But seriously, Teddy might not want to be with Owen anymore. Especially after everything she’s witnessed and the painful bucket of ice cold water she has received upon seeing Omelia living together, as a couple. So I think in there lies the question of Owen having a choice too. Because he can’t choose Teddy if she doesn’t present herself as a choice (ffs Teddy, don’t. You’re already looking pathetic enough).

So these are my two cents on what you’ve asked, sorry that these two cents look more like ten cents, I have written a lot. But you said you have a theory too and be more than welcome to share it, I will post it here on the blog and I am sure people will enjoy reading that as well :) . Have a good week and thanks for the message!

[alicequinn]

juliawickeer replied to your post: Did you read that interview that Sera and John...

i really hope there’s a turn around next season, because the more the season progressed the more it became clear even when they were well-intentioned, the writers didn’t know what to do with characters like alice, penny (who i actually think died because of that reason), kady and josh (which was even acknowledged in an ep)

oh yeah. they completely put alice and kady in weird holding positions to focus on the rest of the cast and their storylines. like, i still enjoy what they did this season and they certainly didn’t ruin the characters for me, but alice and kady were almost out of focus for most of the season? they’d get big moments or episodes and then disappear for long stretches with only brief scenes to explain how they are currently doing or feeling.

my biggest guess with alice is that they wanted to leave room for alice to betray the group and for the audience to constantly be wondering what she’s going to do. so they just... didn’t dive too deep with her a lot of the time. which is a frustrating decision given that alice was/is in an incredibly unique situation. kady? i have no idea what they were doing with her. which sucks. i think it’s a consequence of julia being pulled in a different direction than her and penny disappearing which took away her two biggest scene partners. they really default to using her to further julia or penny’s plots and without them, her presence on the show definitely suffered.

i still CANNOT believe they didn’t show us what is up with penny in the underworld. they really obviously wrote themselves into a corner that was too exciting and fun (“be the penny” is a phenomenal episode, i can’t lie) to pass up. so then they had to figure out wtf to do to keep arjun on the show, but they didn’t have any time left to explain anything because they had to, ya know, wrap up that whole quest thing.

josh, at least, we have a better explanation for? sera and john said in an interview that they learned they only had his actor for a few number of episodes this season so the “we forgot about josh” storyline was born from that limitation. 

idk, i need to rewatch the season, but i’m not sure how i feel about it yet. because it was maybe their best in terms of episodes, but, as a cohesive narrative/arc, i feel like it might be a little weak? but then like... margo, fen, and julia had the best season of their goddamn lives and that is so beyond important to me.

[yournair92]

EP FANFIC UPDATE

Since there seems to be some issue with WordPress as well, sharing the fic here . It is kinda long. Flashbacks are written in italicized font. Hope you like it, reviews are always welcome. COMPLICATED : CHAPTER 1 Portia scrolled through her playlist on YouTube, as she waited in her office-which was part of her residence- for her PA to report back to her with the schedule of her coming month. She had to do a lot of press the next month to promote the new movie she was starring in. She had to do a few interviews here in London and a few in US. She had asked her PA to finalize the schedule after getting in touch with the Promotions -In -Charge for the movie.

She finally selected the video she had been searching for and hit Play.

The video( some three years old):

A scene from a sitcom plays out:

“Because what, Nelle?” asked a woman in her twenties,with long blonde hair.

“Because…because I am in love with you goddammit!! answered another woman, older and with short hair.”

The scene cuts out into a TV studio where the two characters from the sitcom are seated with two other ladies who are the anchors.

“Well what we just saw was an epic scene from season two of the famous sitcom ‘Roommates’, and we have with us in the studio today, Portia de Rossi who plays Megan and Ellen de Generes who essays the role of Nelle,” said Hooda as she introduced the guests. Ellen and Portia smiled.

“ I remember that scene, that was one emotional episode for a sitcom. How was it during shooting?, Portia?” Kathy asked.

“ Yeah, it was an emotional episode, but it wasn’t really high on emotion while shooting. I mean this woman here,” she said pointing to Ellen, “can make you break character in the most emotional moments . I mean she has this mesmerizing pair of blue eyes and you think it would be really easy to just naturally fall into it and just say all those romantic emotional dialogues. But just when you are saying your dialogues and trying to make it look emotional, she will always bring up this naughty smile of her from around the corner of her mouth, and you lose it, you are bursting out laughing and the director is glaring at you. I think we have more tapes of our bloopers rather than of the actual sitcom.” she added.

“You don’t make it any easier for me either, you try to break my character as well,” Ellen added.

“That is me trying to get back at you,” Portia answered.

“ So what’s going on between you two? You know there are rumors that you are dating” asked Kathy, to Portia.

“Oh come on, not at 6 am in the morning,” complained Portia. She continued,“ everywhere we have been, they have asked us this question and I am like is there nothing else we can talk about? Ellen and me are really good friends and that’s all, we share a lot of similar interests, but that’s all there is to it, there is no romantic angle to it.”

Portia and Ellen were promoting the sitcom that they were together in, on various talk shows across the country and today they were doing a morning show, TODAY and were being interviewed by Kathy and Hooda.

Ellen who was sitting next to Portia added,“ I know that we have been clicked together on various occasions, and I do not deny that we hang out together, we do, a lot. But the reason behind it is everyone else on the cast and crew, are either in a relationship or are family people, so every chance at a break from the shooting schedule they are off to meet their family or their boyfriend or girlfriend, leaving the two of us. Initially it was more like she is from Australia and new to this place, so I kind of showed her around LA, but now I am stuck with her,” she said, making a face.

Everybody laughed- the audience, Kathy and Hooda, Portia stuck out her tongue.

“No, seriously, I mean, just this last weekend Portia wanted to go horse riding and guess who on the cast was sore and walked awkward during promotions tour, the next week…ME!! Me and her together as a couple!! No way.I mean she is already in a relationship with that jar of Vegemite that she carries around everywhere,"Ellen added.

Portia shook her head and smirked as everyone else in the studio continued laughing!

The video ended. Portia looked around at the table in front and her eyes landed on a photograph of both of them with the horses, it was clicked years ago, the day Ellen had just mentioned on the show.

Were they just friends? Portia wondered.

Portia was pulled out of her thoughts by the knock on her door, It was Brad, her PA. He handed over the schedule to Portia and sat down in the chair in front of her. Portia looked through the schedule, the London ones were fine. The ones in US were a bit hectic, a few shows in New York and then in L.A. Her eyes skimmed through the list of talk shows and suddenly came to a halt at one.

She will be meeting her after so long.

Did Ellen know that they would be meeting? She didn’t mention anything on the email, but then that was like a week ago. It’s going to be weird and what’s more she has to fly back to London the very next day to be able to attend the premier, Portia thought.

So many years later, but for such a short time,Portia wondered oblivious to the fact that she had said it out loud.

"What? Anything wrong with the schedule?” Brad asked.

“Huh…nothing…no, it’s fine. Thanks Brad,” Portia said, managing a smile.

Los Angeles (Present) Ellen was busy in her office, accompanied by Mary, Andy and Ed. They were going through the list of guests for the coming month that had been approved by the network executives and discussing possible segments that could be included. The day time talk show was into it’s first season and they were doing pretty good so far in terms of rating. The entire team was putting in all their efforts to make it a hit talk show. They had regular meetings and planned well in advance. Ellen was so grateful to her staff to see them all working so hard.

“Hey…we have Portia de Rossi on next month..” Mary stated, being the first one to go through the list. She read real fast. Ellen’s eyes shot up “What?"she exclaimed. "Oh yeah…man, she’s beautiful” exclaimed Andy as he finally reached the page with Portia’s name.

Ellen’s eyes caught the name as well. She tried to shift her focus to something else, when Ed added, “ Didn’t you do the sitcom 'Roommates’ with her?” “Yeah, I did” Ellen answered. “Hmm… then, you know her well I guess, see if you have some backstage photos with her of that time that we can show during the show? That would be nice.” Ellen nodded her head. “ Excuse me, but I just need to get some coffee. I will go over to Starbucks and grab one, you guys need anything?” Ellen said after a little while. “ Don’t wait up for me, I will catch up with you.” She added. The others nodded their head.

Ellen walked out of the office. She passed a few studio stages on the way and the one where they used to tape 'Roommates’ was one of them. They were taping some new show there these days, but the stage always reminded her of her sitcom days, having a fun time every single day, with Portia. Portia, Ellen sighed wondering why every time she thought about her, it made her heart beat faster and why did she think about her every time! And now she was going to be on the show and Ellen did not know how to react. A part of her was happy to be meeting her and a part of it was nervous. There were a lot of things unsaid and it was easier to keep it that way when your only way of keeping in touch was via e-mail, but when you meet in person, it’s a different story. Ellen reached Starbucks and ordered her coffee. She sat down on a chair outside, with her mind still wandering among her memories; she thought it was better to take a break rather than seeming lost in her office while working. From the table she sat down at, the 'Roommates’ stage was still visible and Ellen thought of her first day there.

At a studio stage, LA,(about four years ago): “Hello Ellen! Arriving before time as usual!!!” remarked John as Ellen stepped into the studio stage. “Hi John, how have you been?” Ellen replied, giving him a hug. “I have been good. Waiting for others to arrive, so that we can proceed with the table read .Come on, I will show you around the set till then.” John was the director of the sitcom, he was also one of the writers and producers of the show. He had known Ellen since her stand up days and had suggested her to audition for this role. The role meant a lot to Ellen, especially since it marked her return on TV after coming out as a gay person publicly, on national television, two years ago. TV had come a long way since then, there was a bit more of acceptance, though there was still some amount of discrimination. But the fact that they were now doing a sitcom based on a lesbian lead and her roommate who also happened to be bisexual was a big deal and Ellen wanted to be a part of it because at some level she felt it would bring to light the fact that people from the LGBTQ community are just like any random human being. “I don’t think you have met any one of the cast yet, have you?” John asked. “ Well, Jen and Jeremy I know, I mean we are friends. I have also met Louise and Robert earlier. But I don’t know this Portia de Rossi.” Ellen replied. “ Oh yeah, she is kind of new, I mean she has done a couple of movies in London. She is a gem of a person. She is smart but she still has that innocence in her. You will get along with her well. You better do, I mean the chemistry between your characters is what this show is banking upon.” John said. Ellen nodded her head. A few members of the technical crew were around the stage. It was built like a replica of an apartment with two bedrooms, a living room which had a kitchen to one end and a balcony. A few minutes later, as Ellen and John stood talking to each other, someone called out from behind, “John, is that you?” John turned around and so did Ellen. “Hey, Portia!” John exclaimed as he recognized the source of the voice. Standing in front of them, a few steps away and now walking towards them was a woman in her late twenties, tall and slim with long blonde hair, a smile on her face and hazel green eyes, holding a bag in her hand. “Did I mention that she is drop dead gorgeous?” “No, you did not,” Ellen replied grinning.

“ Portia, this is Ellen. Ellen , Portia,” John said as he  introduced them to each other.

“hi, ” Ellen said as she hugged Portia.

“Hi, I am a huge fan, I mean I have seen your previous sitcom and I am so much in awe of you since you took the decision of coming out in public, it was a really bold step.” Portia said, sounding excited and nervous at the same time.

“Thanks, at least someone thinks it was a good step.” Ellen said, giving a wink as John laughed.

“ OMG! your eyes they are really so blue, have always found them so beautiful” Portia exclaimed.

“ About my eyes, don’t look at them much, people say they forget to think straight when they look into them” Ellen said and winked as John laughed, Portia blushed.

That was how they had first met, on sets of the sitcom, co-stars to the best of friends in three years, and now after having not  seen each other for more than a year, they would meet again.

Ellen took out her phone, thinking of sending Portia an email about her visit to the show. The past one year they had been in touch through email only.

[theseventhhex]

Alexina Interview

Alexina

Photo by Bree Hart

Soaring between genres whilst maintaining an addictive pop appeal and wistful atmosphere, multi­-instrumentalist and thoroughly gifted Alexina indulges her every musical impulse with prominent promise. Combining relatable lyrics with powerful catchy choruses, beguiling vocals and on-point production, Alexina has arrived equipped with many skilful facets. Pushing the envelope by playing by her own rules, this young and progressive songwriter has an ever-present and self-confident energy alongside a wide variety of inspirations that inform her songs… We talk to Alexina about living in London, being influenced by literature and Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3…

TSH: You’re currently in the midst of writing one song a day for the next ten days. What made you settle on this direction?

Alexina: Well, I’m set to be in the studio with Rob Brinkmann for the next few weeks. He’s who I do all of my songwriting and production with and beforehand I thought it would be a good idea to challenge myself in this way. After all, I feel like I’ve grown as a writer and I shouldn’t be relying on people to write songs anymore.

TSH: What intentions do you mainly outline in terms of production?

Alexina: The amazing thing about working with Rob Brinkmann is that he has an incredibly organic way of looking at production. A lot of my EP is synth heavy in terms of sounds but we’ve used a lot of organic instruments as well, there’s a real blend of the two. For instance, we record real drums on an iPhone and then put in processed drums or we’ll record guitar, then distort the guitar and put it through a synth pedal. There’s a real hash mash of different sounds, but every sound is there for a reason.

TSH: What’s at the core of your recent musical expressions?

Alexina: I’m very reactionary writer; something has to hit me to write about it. The bulk of the work that I’m working on now is written about a pretty intense breakup I had about a year ago. The poor guy is still being used as a source of inspiration, ha! But yeah, everything is written from a very personal point of view. Also, I try to discuss things relating to women of my age and the impact of society too - how fucking tough it can be living in London and working at the same time.

TSH: How do your London surroundings impact your music?

Alexina: Living in one of the most expensive cities in the world and trying to be creative at the same time is incredibly difficult. You end up using so much energy only to have just about enough time to be in the studio, but you’ve got to pay rent too. I can’t help but look at my friends around me who aren’t artists and how they make money and constantly strive ahead in terms of their careers. The comparison between yourself and others can be very stark. I sometimes feel like I’m living in a very microscopic environment. I actually grew up in the countryside and in London I get caught up working too much or going out too much. It’s not the best place to be, but there is still so much going on that I draw upon for my artistry.

TSH: Your name of course stems from the Scottish female warrior. How often do you channel your inner Alexina?

Alexina: Whenever I need to feel liberated, ha! The name makes me feel empowered, that’s why I try to write lyrics about real things that are going on. So much music nowadays has no substance to the lyrics and I want to write about stuff that people are going through and that they can relate to.

TSH: What was the process like in fleshing out ‘Partying on My Own’?

Alexina: I wrote this song two months into my breakup with a guy named Paul Usher. We worked in this tiny little studio that had no windows and we were there for two days. I liked working with him but we just couldn’t get anything out - nothing was sticking. Anyhow, I played what I had to Rob Brinkmann and he was so impressed. He told me to rewrite parts of the song and we eventually got it to sound just right. It was written initially in an angsty way and it then turned into this massively powerful song.

TSH: Your track ‘Silent Kill’ was also featured on the Terminal soundtrack starring Margot Robbie...

Alexina: That was crazy! I think the most exciting thing about that song was that I wrote it in four hours. For that song I was given a brief about writing a track for a movie with a slightly 70s and dark feel - almost like a Bond-esque track. This was the first time ever that I’d written a brief to song which I really liked the arrangements on. I’m so proud of it. Oh, and going to the premiere was really cool too.

TSH: Books are also a source of inspiration for you...

Alexina: I’m a massive reader. If I’m lacking in inspiration in terms of fleshing out an idea that I have, I’ll definitely draw on a book that I’ve read. I feel like I’m more of a writer than an artist. Literature is another part of being a musician that gets me so excited. I love how certain authors arrange words with unique combinations; I want to do the same with my music...

TSH: Much like Roald Dahl did with his books...

Alexina: Yes! He is one of my favourite authors of all time. I love his adult short stories like Switch Bitch and Kiss Kiss. They use the same kind of imagination and magic as his kids books but in a very dark and twisted way. I love the dark side of Roald Dahl - the way he can make people feel so uncomfortable and create such a unique feeling.

TSH: And you’re also going to publish a book for children inspired by your dog...

Alexina: Yes, it’s in the middle of being written. It’s really sad because my poor dog got put down a few weeks ago and I really miss him. He’s the only dog we’ve ever had and he’s inspired this children’s series about dog stories. It’s fictional and I kind of twisted the plot. I’ve imagined that he was this young puppy that comes from a spoilt house in London and gets adopted by this really lovely old farmer couple in Scotland. So it’s about an urban dog adapting to the countryside, being spoilt and thinking he knows it all.

TSH: Speaking of the countryside, is the Scottish countryside your go to place to unwind and find clarity?

Alexina: Yeah, definitely. For me coming back to Scotland is like my therapy. I’m more in love with Scotland than anywhere else in the world - it’s so special and it can truly break your heart in the most amazing way.

TSH: Have you managed to revisit and play Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 recently?

Alexina: Haha! You know it’s so gutting because that’s a PlayStation 2 game and I’ve got a PS4. I suppose I can maybe download it? I remember back in the day having my tonsils out and I managed to complete the whole series of Pro Skater 3. I was so good at it!

TSH: What sort of preferences do you have in mind for future music?

Alexina: I have always had incredibly big dreams about what I want from being a musician. My main goal right now is just to be able to travel the world and play shows. I fucking love performing and if I can be touring and seeing parts of the world whilst making a little bit of money from music then I’ll be the happiest girl in the world.

Alexina - “Partying On My Own”

Cool Together - Single

[sinceileftyoublog]

Guided By Voices Interview: A Conversation with Doug Gillard

Robert Pollard (left) and Doug Gillard (right); Guided By Voices perform “I Am A Tree” at SPACE in Evanston

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Journeyman Doug Gillard has been in Guided By Voices for 10 years, over 2 stints, for 12 official LP’s and other releases that no casual fan could keep track of. So, apart from Robert Pollard himself, I could think of no better person to analyze the creative process behind their recent crop of records, including two so far this year, Zeppelin Over China and EP compilation Warp and Woof, and a third coming, Sweating the Plague. More than ever, GBV seems to be a democracy, and not just because each member has gotten his turn at writing a few songs. From my conversation with Gillard over the phone last month from his home in Queens, I got the sense that as long as Pollard doesn’t have a clear idea for the song, he not only welcomes but relies on the others to help him complete it, even if he was the original writer. As for Gillard, he provides the backbone of the songs, something you don’t really notice but would if his contributions weren’t there, especially the horns and strings that supply dramatic flair or emotional weight. At any given live show, he’s the heart and soul of the band, whether doing backup vocals on the set mainstay that he wrote “I Am A Tree” or dishing Pete Townshend-esque riffs on the band’s Who worship.

Read our conversation below, edited for length and clarity, wherein Gillard also talks about his favorite new GBV songs, upcoming band-related news, and other projects he’s recently worked on or is working on.

Since I Left You: You’ve said Zeppelin Over China is unlike anything the band has done before. What makes it unique within the GBV discography?

Doug Gillard: I think it’s just a little warmer and has a little more orchestration and is probably the most diverse record.

SILY: A song like “The Hearing Department” is certainly hazier than your average propulsive GBV track.

DG: Yeah, Bob wanted sort of a rumba beat for that in his notes. Sometimes he has notes. Some songs he doesn’t. When we do the music, a lot of times, we just have freedom to take a song somewhere we’re feeling at the time of recording. Other times, he has sort of a vision. It’s a mixed bag, which is great. We like doing both. On that one, given that beat and the chords, it sort of reminded me of an early Fleetwood Mac song--Peter Green-era Fleetwood Mac.

SILY: On “Cobbler Ditches”, does he reference “Motor Away”?

DG: I think so, yeah.

SILY: You guys have so many songs, but having listened to a lot of them, I’ve never really picked that out before, where he’s referenced a previous song by title. It had to happen one of these days.

DG: I think it’s happened in the past, but I can’t be sure. There’s been a lot of records.

SILY: On this one, you did a lot of string and horn arrangements. That’s most notable on the singles and the ones you were playing before the album was out: “The Rally Boys” and “You Own the Night”. Where else did you add them in?

DG: They’re all over the record--“Vertiginous Rafts”, the last song on the record. Really, there are little parts of strings and horns on a lot of the songs on here. Sometimes, the strings are in the version of a Mellotron, but mostly, they’re not. Sometimes, they’re really subtle, too, added just to add a little bit of atmosphere.

SILY: Who plays them?

DG: I play them. I have an orchestra program, a MIDI program administered through a keyboard. There’s piano on there--key-related things.

SILY: I’ve seen how you adapted the first two live. Is it the same approach with the others? Are you even playing them?

DG: We will be playing more songs from the record. But when we play stuff live, we just kind of rock it out. I’m not concerned whether parts on the record aren’t in the song live. I really like seeing bands that play songs on the record different from how the record sounds.

SILY: Bob has said in past concerts that you’re the most instrumentally capable version of GBV ever even though the fans want the mistakes. But you achieve the balance between the record and live well. You still retain that rawness.

DG: Yeah, I think that’s true. Sometimes, I’ll try to play some of the string lines live on guitar if there’s room. I was doing that with “See My Field”. But it’s only because I hear them. I don’t have to play them. It wasn’t a request--just something I thought I would do.

SILY: Were the last songs you wrote for GBV the ones from “August By Cake” [Ed note: “Goodbye Note” and “Deflect/Project”]?

DG: No, there have been some B-sides to singles that band members have written that have come out. They haven’t been digitized, necessarily. They were vinyl-only and sold out quickly. One was called “Red Nose Speedway”...What was the other one called? I wrote one with Mark Shue. Kevin March wrote one that ended up on the B-side of a single and so did Bobby Bare.

SILY: You don’t play them live, do you?

DG: No, that’s correct.

SILY: Have you done the string and horn arrangements on other GBV albums before?

DG: Yeah. All the stuff that’s come out so far I have done a little bit, but on August By Cake really not much at all...some keyboards, maybe a string line here or there. How Do You Spell Heaven, a little bit. [Engineer] Travis [Harrison] did some string lines on August By Cake. And I did some arrangements on an ESP Ohio record which came out before August By Cake, which was Travis, myself, Mark Shue, and Bob.

SILY: Now that you’re back in the band, as of 2016, is “I Am A Tree” going to be in the set list for as long as you’re in the band?

DG: [laughs] I’m not sure. I would say probably so, but you can never be sure. There are a lot of songs in the can that Bob likes to rotate in and out of the set list. 

SILY: How does he or the band decide upon the set list on a night by night basis?

DG: Bob will have a master list that he re-sequences for every show. We’ll have a basic list for every tour, give or take some. Sometimes, he’ll get a whim or an epiphany and put something in mid-tour, which is always fine. But the sequence is different every night.

SILY: Do you have a favorite song on Zeppelin Over China or Warp and Woof?

DG: Wow...there are a lot of songs to choose from on both of those, and they’re all so damn good. Zeppelin Over China, I really don’t know what a favorite would be. Let’s see...looking at the list here...I really like “Where Have You Been All My Life” or maybe “Wrong Turn On” or “Jam Warsong”. There’s a ton, though. They all kind of have different purposes, different sounds. Warp and Woof, there are a lot of great little songs on there. I say little because they’re shorter. About two minutes or so. I think one of my favorites is “Angelic Weirdness”.

SILY: The two that are called out in terms of your contributions are the first and the final track, especially in terms of unique recording process. Didn’t you record “Bury the Mouse” in the van?

DG: Yeah, except for the drums. The drums were done first. We already had those, and we finished it on tour in the van. 

SILY: And “End it With Light” was at a soundcheck?

DG: Yeah, I did guitars at the soundcheck on that one. “Cool Jewels and Aprons” is another favorite from Warp and Woof. Oh, I forgot, the last song on 100 Dougs is mine. The instrumental. If you don’t have that actual EP, I can’t remember what sequence it’s in on Warp and Woof, but it’s called “It Will Never Be Simple”.

SILY: The third record you’re putting out this year is no longer called “Rise of the Ants,” right?

DG: That’s correct. It’s going to be called Sweating the Plague.

SILY: Are you able to talk a little about that one, whether your specific contributions, songwriting, and arrangements, or the feel for it in general?

DG: To me, there are similarities to Zeppelin Over China. There’s a little more hard rock on it, a little more of a 70′s rock feel to the songs, some “guitarmonies.” But there are some really nice ballads. It has the four ps that Bob talks about. [Ed note: pop, punk, prog, and psych] Lots of punk on it.

SILY: It’s been described as a little proggy.

DG: For sure. There are a couple prog songs.

SILY: Are there any more records on the horizon for you guys?

DG: There are some reissues this year because of album anniversaries. 

SILY: Bee Thousand?!?

DG: No. There’s always an anniversary of some album. Later this year, it’s the 20th anniversary of the release of Kid Marine, Robert Pollard solo, and of Speak Kindly of Your Volunteer Fire Department, which is a record I did with Bob. It was released under the name Robert Pollard and Doug Gillard, but it was the 4th one in the Fading Captain series of his records coming out around then. That has “Pop Zeus” on it and some other songs. That’s been remastered and it should be reissued in August. There may be a Cash Rivers collection coming out. I’m not sure about when that will be released.

SILY: You’re going to Europe for the first time in decades. Are you excited to play Primavera and the UK?

DG: Very much so, yeah.

SILY: When was the last time you were there with GBV?

DG: 2003, I’d say. We did a European tour and UK tour there.

SILY: Was that for Earthquake Glue?

DG: I believe so. It was either Universal Truths or Earthquake Glue. I think it was Earthquake Glue. I’ve been there a lot since with Nada Surf. I’m really excited to play there with Guided By Voices.

SILY: You contributed to the most recent Neko Case record. How did that experience come about?

DG: Neko had always liked my playing. When she was assembling songs for this record, she gave me a call, I went down to Tuscon, and I played a lot of tracks. I learned the songs. It was great.

SILY: I never realized that you were on The Hold Steady’s Stay Positive, too. I was looking at your credits and was like, “Woah, all these albums I’ve loved over the years!”

DG: Oh, yeah. I was friends with those guys at the time they were making that. I think I had just moved to New York, and they invited me to their session. Tad [Kubler] had me play the recurring riff on “Sequestered in Memphis”. That sort of Stones-y riff. That’s the only song I’m on, I think, but that was fun. They’re really good guys.

SILY: Any plans to come back to Chicago soon?

DG: I’m sure we will. We’re always around Chicago at least a couple times a year. Nothing that I know of just yet, but I’m positive something will happen in that area.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading that’s caught your attention?

DG: I listen to a lot of podcasts. Mark Riley from the BBC does a Bowie podcast, The A to Z of David Bowie. I’ve been listening to a lot of that. I’ve been checking out stuff here and there.

SILY: I don’t have anything else to ask you--is there anything I didn’t ask about you want to say?

DG: Let’s see...not sure. I’m producing a band called The Bye Bye Blackbirds. They’re a guitar pop band from the Bay Area. They’ve definitely been around for a while. They have ex-members of Game Theory, The Mr. T Experience. My friend Bradley [Skaught] is the songwriter of the band. He writes some good songs.

SILY: Anything else not GBV in your realm coming up?

DG: Not really too much. GBV’s been planning a busy year with recording and shows and tours coming up, so I’ve been kind of leaving things open for that. It will be busy playing shows for sure. Really nothing else right now.

SILY: Thanks again for your time, I really appreciate it. Congrats on the releases, and looking forward to hearing the next one!

DG: For sure!