#off topic 126

[letustalkaboutlevihan]

6) DOES LEVI HAS FEELINGS FOR HANGE?

When Hange asked Levi to live with her in the forest together, Levi didn't answer and continued to pretend he's unconscious.

When Eren talked to all the Eldians informing them about his plan, Levi got reminded by his goal to kill the Beast Titan so the first thing that came out from his mouth was, 'Where is that piece of shit, Zeke?'

Hange knew that they can't win against Zeke even if they'd fight him together, so she tried to comfort Levi, but her words was cut off when Levi told her, "if we just run away and keep on hiding... what will we have left?" / "What's left... If we run and hide like this..."

Levi (actually) didn't dislike the idea of living together with Hange. He didn't reject her. But they vowed to dedicate their hearts to sacrifice their lives for humanity... He's the captain and she's the commander. The kids still need their guide and help to stop Eren from his plan. When he saw the 'project' Hange was making, he immediately understood that Hange is not the type of a person who can stay still outside the action.

So instead of running away, they both chose to continue fighting and focus on their goals.

How do Levi see Hange? Is she really just a close friend for him?

Levi didn't express his feelings for her through words until chapter 132...

I heard Levi's words here became a hot topic to Japanese fans because Isayama changed the kanji word used for 'love' into a more romantic meaning and Levi was trying to tell Hange here that her love for titans are unrequited, but Hange's love for him is requited. (Yes, he did intend to say that Hange has feelings for him. Which makes me believe more that Hange asking him to live with her in the forest is really a confession.)

If you need more explanation about this, watch this video and this video or read this post. (It's up to you on how you would take it/respond to all the explanations and analysis)

I'm not Japanese, but I don't need to be a Japanese to notice the sadness in Levi's eyes when Hange tried to change the topic.

There's a long pause (six dots) after Hange changed the topic. If we consider the possible thought that Levi (indeed) confessed his feelings for Hange in this chapter, then we can assume that the long pause was because he's hurt... because Hange ignored his confession 💔

To summarize and explain it in more simpler way, this is the possible conclusion for Levihan's relationship.

-Hange confessed to Levi in chapter 126.

-Levi responded to her confession, telling her that her love for him is requited (unlike her undying love for titans) in chapter 132.

-Hange had a long pause after hearing it (probably shock or something). Levi also had a long pause and he got sad/hurt when Hange changed the topic and ignored his confession...

Again, this is just a possible conclusion, and it's up to you whether to believe it or not.

Hiroshi Kamiya, (Levi's va) wrote "aishiteru/I love you" below his signature on Romi Park's (Hange's va) script book. Given that Hange's va is already married, then that "I love you" was possibly meant for Hange, and Hiroshi wrote it on behalf of Levi.

Also, I won't shut up about how beautiful Hange is from Levi's point of view

If Isayama would say that Levi doesn't have any love interest to anyone, then how can he explain this?

Levi stealing glances to Hange in official arts. I think Isayama doesn't need to confirm anything because Levi's eyes already said it all 💚💜

to be continued~ 🥰

(continuation here)

[emilover-1]

Why Mori indirectly killed Oda + Why he led Dazai out of the pm

A very short analysis

Killing Oda was the most logical solution, it was; to kill a lower member or to kill more pm members that possibly were higher rank, it didn’t make sense, and even Dazai in the light novel dark era recognized it:

Dazai glances at the at the muzzle still pointed at his face, following which, he turns back towards the center of the room, standing right in front of Ougai, quietly speaking. “I’ve been thinking. Between the mafia, Mimic, and the Black Special Ops Forces, who is the one manipulating these three organizations? When I realized Ango was a member of the Special Ability Department, I reached a conclusion. That conclusion was that this is the Special Ability Department’s plan. Their motive was to let the mafia and Mimic, two illegal organizations causing the government a headache, to kill each other off. If they were lucky, they would both perish together – I thought this was a playbook written by the Special Ability Department, that this was the real reason behind this war. But I was wrong.” Dazai pauses after these words, looking at Ougai. Ougai smiles, shrugging his shoulders, “I’m listening.” “The person who painted this picture was you, Boss. Using the illegal organization Mimic as a threat, you pulled the Special Ability Department onto the negotiation table. And the pawn in the center of this plan was Ango.” Dazai speaks with half lidded eyes. “Boss, the reason you sent Ango to infiltrate Mimic’s ranks was not to obtain information on Mimic. Because you knew that Ango was a spy from the Special Ability Department from the very beginning. Am I right?” Ougai does not affirm or refute this, only saying, “Huh.” “If you think about it that way, the meaning behind several truths will change accordingly. At the same time Ango passed us insider information on Mimic, he had to pass that information on to the Special Ability Department as well. They are undead ghosts that will not listen to negotiations or compromises, only seeking a battlefield. Such danger cannot be compared to the mafia. If this went on any further, conflict would break out between them and the government agencies. This is what the Special Ability Department thought. The next thing they thought of was to fan the flames of war between Mimic and the Port Mafia, manipulating matters by leaking information to Mimic through Ango. As long as Mimic bites the hook, the mafia has no reason not to fight back. Based on this line of thinking, they instructed Ango to engage in combat – all according to your plan.” “You’re overestimating me, but it’ll still be troublesome for me.” Ougai smiles. “To the mafia, the government agencies are also a demon-like existence, an opponent that cannot be manipulated easily.” “That is why you would come up with such a large scale plan – Because the value of that envelope is worth all that effort.” Dazai points to the black premium envelope beside Mori’s hand.

pages 125 and 126 of the light novel

By what they talk about, its pretty obvious that Dazai recognized it was a logical solution, yet he had got very attached, Dazai has little to no problems in using people, but the problem was that Dazai had got too attached with Oda. Not to mention that getting the envelope was beneficial to the port mafia, it was like getting rid of two birds with a stone or however it is said, and as I've said a lot of times, Mori goes to the option that benefits everyone in Yokohama or at least to the pm.

He is called "The one who fell to the optimal solution" isn't he?

next topic:

Why Mori led Dazai out of the pm

This is more of what I believe but I still wanted to include it

Mori led Dazai out of the pm because of two reasons:

He was afraid Dazai would aspire to take his position as a boss

He wanted Dazai to learn a lesson

It's mentioned that he is afraid of Dazai so we aren't going to talk about this topic right now, but about the lesson topic; Mori wanted Dazai to become more like him in case Dazai were to take the boss position, but Mori didn't thought that Dazai had grown that attached to Oda, and while Dazai did recognize that killing Oda was the most logical solution, he didn't like it, he would have preferred that more members had lost their lives than Oda losing his, and therefore to Mori; Dazai didn't want to learn the lesson.

Thank you for reading

I got the quotes (if it can be considered that) from this pdf, i hope you enjoyed my analysis! its very short but what can we do

[dailyanarchistposts]

Chapter 4: Stifling Air, Burnout, Political Performance

Capitalism, colonialism and heteropatriarchy make us sick. Are our responses healing us? Are our actions generating wellbeing for others? Or are we unintentionally reproducing the kind of relationships that made us sick in the first place?

—Zainab Amadahy[125]

Puritanism, in whatever expression, is a poisonous germ. On the surface everything may look strong and vigorous; yet the poison works its way persistently, until the entire fabric is doomed.

—Emma Goldman[126]

Toxic contours

There is something that circulates in many radical spaces, movements, and milieus that saps their power from within. It is the pleasure of feeling more radical than others and the worry about not being radical enough; the sad comfort of sorting unfolding events into dead categories; the vigilant apprehension of errors and complicities in oneself and others; the anxious posturing on social media with the highs of being liked and the lows of being ignored; the suspicion and resentment felt in the presence of something new; the way curiosity feels naïve and condescension feels right. We can sense its emergence at certain times, when we feel the need to perform in certain ways, hate the right things, and make the right gestures. Above all, it is hostile to difference, curiosity, openness, and experimentation.

This phenomenon cannot be exhaustively described, because it is always mutating and recirculating. The problem is not simply that people are unaware of it—we think it is common among those touched by radical milieus. As the anarchist researcher and organizer Chris Dixon writes,

Whenever this topic comes up in discussions, I’ve found it quickly evokes head nods and horror stories about takedowns on social media, organizational territorialism, activist social status hierarchies, sectarian posturing, and a general atmosphere of radical self-righteousness.[127]

It can be risky to discuss all this publicly; there is always the chance that one will be cast as a liberal, an oppressor, or a reactionary. For this reason, these conversations are happening between people who already trust each other enough to know that they will not be met with immediate suspicion or attack. Here there is room for questioning and listening, with space for subtlety, nuance, and care that is so often absent when rigid radicalism takes hold. These are some of the questions we have been asking in our research: What is this force? What are its contours, and what are its sources? What triggers it, and what makes it spread? How can it be warded off, and how are people activating other ways of being?

Rigid radicalism is both a fixed way of being and a way of fixing. It fixes in the sense of attempting to repair, seeing emergent movements as inherently flawed. To fix is to see lack everywhere, and treat struggles and projects as broken and insufficient. It also fixes in the sense of fastening or making permanent, converting fluid practices into set ways of being, stagnating their transformative potential. Even though unfolding practices might appear identical to each other from a distance, habits and certainties can take over from what was once experimental and lively. When rigidity and suspicion take over, joy dies out.

This is probably our bleakest chapter, focusing as it does on the contours of rigid radicalism and how it circulates. We want to offer up some ideas about how this all works, but we are not trying to pin it down once and for all. We have been reading about this phenomenon, talking with friends, and interviewing people, and so we hope to contribute to a conversation that we know is ongoing. We want to tell stories about it, not the story. We do not think there is any single cause, or a single response.

In our first attempts at writing about this, and in many of our interviews, we used the concept of “sad militancy” to describe this phenomenon, but we have abandoned the term because it has not worked for some people we talked to. Drawing on Spinoza’s conception of sadness as stagnation, the notion of sad militancy has been circulating for a while, especially in Latin America. Nevertheless, we have noticed that it can easily be interpreted instead as a pathologization or condemnation of depression or sorrow. Furthermore we use the word “radicalism” because we want to avoid creating a dichotomy between two types of militancy. Rigid radicalism is not the “opposite” of joyful militancy; they are two different processes, animated by distinct affects.

It is a bit scary to write about these tendencies. Throughout the process of writing this book, we have come up against the worry that it will be decided we got it wrong: that we are reactionaries, or liberals, or oppressive in some way that we had not anticipated. Someone will reveal that we do not have “good politics,” that the book is too theoretical, or not theoretical enough, or romantic, or full of hippy shit, or naïve, or misleading, or problematic, or liberal, or useless, or, or, or. We will have committed our ridiculous ideas to print, in a permanent humiliation. For us, this fear exposes the durability of rigid radicalism, and how it can trigger paranoia, impose self-censorship and conformity, and encourage a kind of detached self-righteousness.

[weirdplutoprince]

if the 1 month minimal commitment of reading ORV scares you, may I suggest reading ‘Kasane’, a 2 days of extremely addictive reading alternative?

kasane is a story that is insanely hard to put down as you are consistently and repeatedely blown off your mind by the most insane shit you’ve ever heard. it is a drama dressed as an horror dressed as a love letter to performing dressed as the most insane generational trauma you can think of. although it handles heavy topics and i do recommend checking the trigger warnings for overall abuse, physical violence, threats of assault etc it is also insanely good and interesting.

it is a story about soul consuming envy, bitterness, resentment. But its also about joy, love and devotion. The expressions are insane and the story does not cower from the terrifying premise it presents itself with: a terribly ugly girl’s journey through acting as she steal people’s faces with a mysterious lipstick she inherited from her deceased mother.

its 126 chapters long and i do not recommend reading it close to yourd bed time as it IS hard to put down. read kasane. goodbye.

[maerinhearts]

All The BL I Have Read

If you're not interested in BL, scroll away. If you are... well...

Welcome. Hello. My name is Mae. I read a lot of BL in my free time because it's incredibly entertaining and I have a lot of fun. None of my friends read BL and the only one I share this information with is my best friend. Because I have a touch of the 'tism, I have compiled a list of every single BL I have ever read and I would like to share it with you.

ETA: This posted very oddly, and I've tried to fix it several times to no avail. I'm sorry.

Please keep in mind that these are in no particular order.

Let's start with the finished works:

Insecret: 102 Chapters

Again: 60 Chapters

Aporia: 108 Chapters

Dear Door: 163 Chapters

BJ Alex: 96 Chapters

Mad Dog: 51 Chapters

No Love Zone: 70 Chapters

Checkmate: 103 Chapters

Love or Hate: 106 Chapters

The New Recruit: 45 Chapters

Hold Me Safe: 49 Chapters

Love So Pure: 113 Chapters

Fake Romance: 37 Chapters

The Unquenchable Mr. Kim: 65 Chapters

Vanilla Soda Sky: 49 Chapters

The Big Apple: 65 Chapters

Darling For Dessert: 72 Chapters

In My Closet: 116 Chapters

A Life Without You: 65 Chapters

The Words In Your Snare: 82 Chapters

Snake Bite: 30 Chapters

Fuck this story.

A Man of Virtue: 131 Chapters

How To Snag An Alpha (Omegaverse): 106 Chapters

My Way With You: 4 very long chapters

Do you like pain? Same. I sobbed while reading this.

Tell Me You Love Me: 15 Chapters

Don't Build My Hopes Up: 50 Chapters

Love Shuttle (Omegaverse): 98 Chapters

Cherry Blossoms After Winter: 151 Chapters

Easy To Read: 50 Chapters

Solar Eclipse: 86 Chapters

Love In Kitsch: 52 Chapters

Broken Boy: 75 Chapters

Seriously… do you like pain? Because same.

On or Off: 91 Chapters

Assorted Wildness: 65 Chapters

The Sweetest Man: 115 Chapters

Surge Towards You (Omegaverse): 61 Chapters

Sign: 115 Chapters

Do you like angst? Same.

Mayday Mayday Mayday!: 50 Chapters

Do you like red flags? Same.

Anti P.T.: 63 Chapters

Top to Bottom: 56 Chapters

Lucky Paradise: 90 Chapters

DO YOU REALLY LIKE BEING IN PAIN? DO YOU ENJOY SUFFERING? FUCKING SUFFER. THE ENTIRE TIME YOU READ THIS. SUFFER.

Secret Therapy: 39 Chapters

Blind Play: 80 Chapters

My Bias Is Showing?!: 48 Chapters

Lying In A Dream: 66 Chapters

Love Me, Doctor!: 55 Chapters

BL Motel: 155 Chapters

Turn Off The Camera: 99 Chapters

Viewfinder: 89 Chapters

Undercover Partners: 174 Chapters

Siren's Song: 72 Chapters

Lover Boy: 81 Chapters

I know you love pain by now…

Unromantic Romance (Omegaverse): 64 Chapters

The Ordinary Lifestyle of a Universal Guide: 63 Chapters

Shame Application: 60 Chapters

Red Candy: 92 Chapters

Paid: 55 Chapters

If you read this, be nice to my baby Heejae… He a lil dumb… for a good reason, too.

Love For Sale: 93 Chapters

Kiss Me Liar (Omegaverse): 32 Chapters

Fuck everything about this one.

Heat and Run (Omegaverse): 107 Chapters

Gold Gray (Omegaverse): 126 Chapters

At this point, all you know is pain. This one is fucking SAD.

One Roof, Two Strangers: 56 Chapters

Crash Into Me: 48 Chapters

So you really love pain…

This handles some very difficult topics, please tread carefully.

Love Percentage (Omegaverse): 69 Chapters

Melting Into You (Omegaverse): 60 Chapters

My Master, My Jooin (Omegaverse): 64 Chapters

Blood Link (Omega...verse...ish...?): 135 Chapters

Uhmmmmm….???????????? Top is a vampire??? Bottom is a female lycan???? Uhm? He bites the bottom???? And like??? What???

Okay... Now onto stuff that I am currently reading and is still releasing. There will be an asterisk (*) next to works that are currently on hiatus:

Painter of the Night

Low Tide in Twilight (Omegaverse)

Limited Run*

Speak of the Devil

The Pawn's Revenge*

The Pizza Delivery Man and the Gold Palace

Legs That Won't Walk*

I don’t know what’s happening.

Idk why I’m here anymore.

Jinx

Pearl Boy

TREAD. CAREFULLY. I cannot stress this enough.

Opposites Attract

Anemone Theater

The Ghost's Nocturne*

Tread carefully with this one too. The top is a literal demon from the underworld.

Vanilla Taste

Stranger Than Friends

Odd Love (Side stories ongoing)

The Dangerous Convenience Store (Side stories ongoing)

Semantic Error

Liveta*

Steel Under Silk

Love Jinx

Payback

Under The Green Light*

Stay With Me

Honey Trouble (Omegaverse)

Hold Me Tight (Side stories ongoing)

The Hunting Game

Yakuza In Love

I kinda dropped this one, but also kinda didn’t. I need to pick it back up.

It's Just A Dream... Right?!

Trapped In The Dark* (Considering dropping)

Miscreants and Mayhem

Punch Drunk Love

Missing Love: A Married Man

Prepare… to fucking cry your eyes out…This one is so fucking sad. I’ve never cried so much in my life. You can’t even enjoy the smut. Tread so carefully with this. It is not for the weak-hearted.

You Get Me Going

Kill The Lights (Side stories ongoing)

December (Omegaverse)

Love Is An Illusion (Omegaverse) (Side stories ongoing)

Bongchon Bride

XXX Buddy/Perfect Buddy

Hard-Boiled Love

Hard-core BDSM. Tread carefully.

Origin of the Species* (Omegaverse)

Heal, Heal, Heal!

My Suha (Side stories ongoing)

Work Love Balance (On or Off Sequel)

Shutline

Double Trap

Cold Blooded Beast

DROPPED:

No Reason

Even If You Don't Love Me/Love Me Not

And now for my list of must reads (my faves) in no particular order:

Love For Sale

Man of Virtue

Hold Me Tight

Love Or Hate

Missing Love (this one is incredibly hard to read, but so good)

On or Off

The Dangerous Convenience Store

The Pizza Delivery Man and the Gold Palace

The Pawn's Revenge

Sign

In My Closet

Aporia

I want to put Blind Play on that list so bad, but it's so fucked up it's not even funny. I loved it, but the top is a literal murderer. So please keep that in mind before reading.

And so there it is. A list of everything I have read so far. If you ever want to message me and talk about BL, I'm down. If you want the link to any of these, message me and I will send it.

[newlabdakos]

Iguanodon

(temporal range: 126-122 mio. years ago)

[text from the Wikipedia article, see also link above]

Iguanodon (/ɪˈɡwɑːnədɒn/ i-GWAH-nə-don; meaning 'iguana-tooth'), named in 1825, is a genus of iguanodontian dinosaur. While many species found worldwide have been classified in the genus Iguanodon, dating from the Late Jurassic to Early Cretaceous, taxonomic revision in the early 21st century has defined Iguanodon to be based on one well-substantiated species: I. bernissartensis, which lived during the Barremian to early Aptian ages of the Early Cretaceous in Belgium, Germany, England, and Spain, between about 126 and 122 million years ago. Iguanodon was a large, bulky herbivore, measuring up to 9–11 metres (30–36 ft) in length and 4.5 metric tons (5.0 short tons) in body mass. Distinctive features include large thumb spikes, which were possibly used for defense against predators, combined with long prehensile fifth fingers able to forage for food.

The genus was named in 1825 by English geologist Gideon Mantell but discovered by William Harding Bensted, based on fossil specimens found in England and was given the species name I. anglicus. Iguanodon was the second type of dinosaur formally named based on fossil specimens, after Megalosaurus. Together with Megalosaurus and Hylaeosaurus, it was one of the three genera originally used to define Dinosauria. The genus Iguanodon belongs to the larger group Iguanodontia, along with the duck-billed hadrosaurs. The taxonomy of this genus continues to be a topic of study as new species are named or long-standing ones reassigned to other genera. In 1878 new, far more complete remains of Iguanodon were discovered in Belgium and studied by Louis Dollo. These were given the new species I. bernissartensis. In the early 21st century it became understood that the remains referred to as Iguanodon in England belonged to four different species (including I. bernissartensis) that were not closely related to each other, which were subsequently split off into Mantellisaurus, Barilium and Hypselospinus. It was also found that the originally described type species of Iguanodon, I. anglicus was a nomen dubium, and not valid. Thus the name "Iguanodon" became fixed around the well known species based primarily on the Belgian specimens. In 2015, a second valid species, I. galvensis, was named, based on fossils found in the Iberian Peninsula.

Scientific understanding of Iguanodon has evolved over time as new information has been obtained from fossils. The numerous specimens of this genus, including nearly complete skeletons from two well-known bone beds, have allowed researchers to make informed hypotheses regarding many aspects of the living animal, including feeding, movement, and social behaviour. As one of the first scientifically well-known dinosaurs, Iguanodon has occupied a small but notable place in the public's perception of dinosaurs, its artistic representation changing significantly in response to new interpretations of its remains.

[demigod-shenanigans]

First of all cannot overstate how much I appreciate you always engaging with these posts, it genuinely means a lot.

Also!! I’m a sickfic person (I blame my own health issues lol). I love sick day stuff. This was a delightful to read.

Currently thinking fondly of Leo and Piper getting sick at the same time in Wilderness and both of their first instinct being to play it off/hide it (for Leo because he’s used to not having anyone who cares, for Piper because it just brings back memories of how much her dad would fuss whenever she got sick as a kid and remembering now knowing he’ll be too busy to even drop by/call to check on her is just painful) until they realize they’re both sick. Then they’re just whining at each other about which one of them is to blame (the meteor shower and them sleeping on the roof is probably the reason honestly) and will not be separated anymore.

And due to the whole memory shenanigans they don’t remember it being like that obviously but whenever it happens again at CHB they’re just as unbearable about it. They just don’t know how it started anymore.

Temperature of 126 is even more hilarious to me because I’m European and briefly forgot about Fahrenheit being a thing. Normal body temperature in Celsius is like, 37°C. I cannot begin to imagine how dead you’d be at 126°C (for my fellow Europeans, 126 F is ≈ 52°C. Which is still way too high for regular human body temperatures but not above boiling water temperature LOL). Actually temperature measurement confusion is conceptually potentially usable for a tiny British Thalia fic (either with baby Jason or with Luke and Annabeth) but that’s kind of beside the point, I’m getting off-topic XD

Anyway yeah Leo just runs hotter than most people even when he's healthy and it's worse when he's sick but as much as it freaks Jason out, it's not going to kill Leo. I think Jason has decent training when it comes to dressing injuries due to his training in Camp Jupiter, but that doesn't really translate super well to sick boyfriend care and he's really frustrated about it. Jason is also terrible at cooking which he feels really guilty about especially when Leo isn't feeling well (this also ties into Leo anxiety cooking a lot when Jason is sick I feel like. It's one of Leo's default aspects of sick person care and Jason feels like him being bad at it means he's failing at his job). Leo doesn't really care. Mostly he just wants cuddles. He just wants Jason to be there because there have been so many times in the past when no one was.

Currently being hit with the hilarious image of Piper all but begging Reyna to use speech to text because it's taking her so long to type out the entire movie title (and Reyna will type the entire movie title before hitting search, even if objectively half of it would be more than enough). Cue Reyna taking even longer trying to get speech to text to work because it always gets some part wrong while Piper is halfway between a laugh and a coughing fit the whole time. Also since Reyna sharing her feelings is her whole power, I’m getting the vibes of either Reyna intentionally trying to make herself feel relaxed so she can make Piper feel better or her being very stressed and anxious to the point where it spills over and Piper is like “sit down/come cuddle, I can’t sleep when you’re feeling like that”.

I feel like much like Reyna Jason also isn’t sick. Stupid stubborn hero leader types who are of the opinion that they never need breaks smh. But after the whole “Jason almost died/died and got resurrected”-deal Leo has a lot of anxiety re: Jason’s health and pays a lot of attention to it. Jason sneezes once and good luck getting Leo to let him do anything else for the whole week lmao he’s a fucking nightmare about it. He’s not risking his fragile perpetually concussed boyfriend/husband ever again thank you <3

Jason isn’t used to people taking care of him (he’s the hero and the leader and whatever he’s supposed to be the one making sure everyone else is alright) so he’s not entirely sure how to handle it and at first he feels guilty about how nice it feels to be cared for like that. He gets better about it with time, and it’s nice to be given an excuse to have some actual downtime because Jason is terrible at letting himself have downtime at all.

Reyna is worse than Jason, mostly because he’s got a bit of a head start in the “it’s okay to let other people in and let yourself be comforted”-department because he’s known Leo and Piper longer. She’s also a terminal workaholic. Piper has had to charmspeak her into letting herself take a fucking nap at least once because Reyna was insisting she could totally still go to work despite the fact that she was about to collapse. She’s also 100% more likely to still try and get some work done in bed than Jason is. Piper shakes her head about it and tells her if it’s necessary she will sit there and watch all day to make sure Reyna actually lets herself rest XD

For all of Reyna’s protests she does really like falling asleep with her head in Piper’s lap.

Having another Day, so, you guys know the drill by now. Any headcanons and fluff thoughts appreciated. Some hurt/comfort with emphasis on the comfort would be especially nice right now but I’m not picky. Thank you.

[out-of-context-ah-screenshots]

[queenzufufu]

Aww Lil J, always so thoughtful

[marshmarrows]

Out of Context Quote of the Day

"Really? I went to Ikea, bought a shelf and I was like 'I'm gonna watch Arrested Development while that shelf builds itself.' I had to build the shelf. I did, but Arrested Development."

[mysteriaqueen]

[blinks in terrified poc]

Probably that California hates that place- That he doesn't claim it-

In all seriousness, is this really the thing to be making headcanons about? Because to me, the tone of this post comes off as out of touch and insensitive.

And even in trying to ignore that I don't understand what these picture were supposed to convey outside of "racist white people town in 'progressive' blue state. thoughts?"

I read the text and was like "oooo lemme see if i can come up with something" and then all of that was immediately killed once I saw the flags. And even now as I go back and look at them and try to calm myself down I fail to see what information this was supposed to give.

Like here's my thought process as I look at these:

photo #1 - basic information. I don't see much headcanon material there but it's all good. that's somethin i'd include

photo #2 - picture of the place. cool. it's a desert town. noted.

photo #3 - kid riding back by a confederate flag. what the fuck??? like just what the fuck??? now i'm trying to calm myself out of fight or flight.

photo #4 - white guy holding aforementioned flag. that guy would kill me if he could. in god we trust??? kdajshfksjdhaksjdlhf okay then wow remind me to never go to this place.

photo #5 - white guy getting his hair cut by a white girl with a US flag design cover thing. ...... nothing inherently wrong the the US flag but the vibes are still off and I'm uncomfortable and I don't like this.

photo #6 - white woman on the news. huh. okay. 36k isn't really what we'd call 'viral' these days but whatever

photo #7 - oildale shirt. ew. this is giving texas levels of danger americanism. vibes are off.

photo #8 - a white women and pigs. okay. cool i guess.

photo #9 - some random white guy in a cowboy hat. i have no idea who that is but whatever.

As you may have noticed, my enthusiasm died. After the pics with the flags all I could think was "If I went to this place I'd come back traumatized and/or injured. If I came back at all." I wanted to do a fun headcanon moment but now I'm just sitting here writing up a long ass post about how this was triggering and probably not a good post idea. This entire thing raised my heart rate a good 40bpm than my normal. (126 when my usual is like 75-85)

And maybe I can't see outside of myself but what headcanons are there supposed to be here? I've said this already but even as I continue to look at it I fail to see anything sufficient to make a headcanon about except for the confederate flags.

And if you follow that line of thinking then my next question is why do we want to make headcanons about town with confederate flags? Is nothing sacred?

I know this series is about the news and the real world and this country sucks and it's had it's dark times and yada yada yada but I don't think that gives the fandom the okay to casually ask for headcanons in this way.

My point is, this post was triggering and likely should not have been made. And if one was to make a post like this then it should've been handled more delicately and with more thought put into it.

No hate to the person who made this post, but please for the love everything don't just drop confederate flags like it's a chill fandom topic. It's not.

Anyone have any Oildale, California head canons? Photos for reference

[kleinezoe]

1. Levihan in SNK manga and ACNWR

https://tinyurl.com/mangalevihan

manga panels collage

2. Levihan in SNK merch

https://tinyurl.com/levihanmerch

(the link above contains levihan merch without any description. please use 'official', 'merch', 'collaboration', 'aotcollab' or 'aotmerch' tag in the filter bar above to see some descriptions or sources links)

3. Fanart, Doujinshi translations

(please use 'fanart' tag to see some reblogged fanarts in this blog)

Syrant

Abnormal-lovers

Cmdrhn

ms-freakenstein

akaritakutranslations

dhltranslations

4. Crumbs? random info? yeah

SNK manga, isayama, documented interviews

(this might be included fan interpretation. however the topic being discussed is snk original manga)

Levihan chapter 132 commentaries from Taki-san

SNK Hita museum commemorative art for 50k visitors

Bessatsu magazine Isym QnA (Levi & Hanji related)

About Levi's line in chapter 132 ; Masta video

Levihan in chapter 139 draft

Levi's expression w/o bandage in ch 132 + "the pain we feel"

Levihan sketches by isayama

Hanji's lines in ch 126 : IFKK

Chapter 126, 132, 138 parallels (fan theory)

Levihan in chapter 126 and 132 (a fan analysis)

Let's live together

Hange had a crush admired Shadis

Chapter 139 : "the pain that we feel"

Chapter 115 preview : about levi's scar

The person Hange get along best with

Smartpass, anime adaptation, Kodansha

Levihan in SNK final exhibition art

Mike and Hanji potentially supposed to be siblings

Chapter 132 & 126 ranked 1st and 2nd for most wanted chapters to be colored (poll)

Levihan first meeting from No Regret visual novel

About hair-grab scene in S01E09

Hair grab scene - "this was added to show their relationship" ; from artbook

Levihan on character guidebook

Levi and Hanji's omikuji

Hange Zoe the smart beauty ; 美形

CD drama of smartpass Levi&Hanji shelter from the rain (translation)

Levi & Moblit smartpass Shelter from the rain ; additional explanation ; fan commentaries

Hange Zoe closed-up report ; Levi's lines on Hanji's kindness ; additional explanation

Levi refers to Hanji and 104th kids as family

Hange's au interview + her lines on Levi's kindness

Hange's au interview + about bathing

Bessatsu caption on chapter 132 colorized ver : Don't go

Ep 84 End Card Illustration

--------------

Mappa, WIT and Anique merchs

Mappa 10th anniv (Levihan, Eremika, Aruani)

"Put your devoted feeling into heart-shaped ring"

Hanji on Levi's birthday in Braveorder and Anique collab/merch ; anique vid

Anique White Day merch

Spin Off Comic

SNK Junior High

Levihan moments in SNK Junior High manga (1) + add

Levihan moment in SNK Junior High manga (2)

Levihan moment in SNK Junior High manga (3)

Levihan moment in SNK Junior High manga (4)

Levihan moment in SNK Junior High manga (5)

Levihan sketch from Saki Nakagawa-san (mangaka aotjh)

Spoof Titan

Levihan in Spoof Titan Spin off

Collaborations and merches

Game

If Hanji is in the team, Levi's attack increase 3.7 times

S3 beach scene (game version)

"... with Levi it's different, somehow I know it's his presence"

"I don't mind making you some tea" Part 1 ; Part 2

Does that mean Hanji is in trouble? + If you go too deep, you can't get out

"... he was trying to cheer you up, in his own clumsy way"

Hangeki no tsubasa "relentless, matchless duos"

Levi made chocolate for Hans on Valentine day

Brave Order Captain Levi quiz

Brave Order 'Corps gathering'

3 most important men to Hanji, Levi is the closest

Others

(below I listed collaboration and merch which have 'Levihan' vibes, as for other 'Levi & Hanji' merchs I collect them in attached link in point 2 (refer to 2. Levihan in SNK merch))

Levi mentioned Hanji in his roomba collab ; (audio)

Levi ordered shampoo from Reeves company for Hanji

Hanji organized party for Levi's birthday

LINE Clova Levi plans to spend pastime with Hanji

LINE Clova Levi's audio for Hanji's birthday ; translation

Levihan & EMA Kocha Kaden collaboration ; Levi ; Hanji

Sagamiko collab - Levi gifted Hanji titans for their birthday

Kuroneko team behind story on cat merch design ; merch

Oita Hita Travel Sticker (IFKK bg and plane)

Levihan calendar illustration

More crumbles .....

Some levihan panel vibes in Call Your Name official mv

Levihan popularity in jp fandom by fanworks

SNK Ep 83 featured article 'are Levi and Hanji Hiyaku no Tori'? ; Hiyaku no Tori aka Jian Bird ; also ...

How do I name this,... crumbs? 🤔

"He doesn't shine if he's alone" art

Levihan illustration by SNK S4P1 Mushiyo-san

🤫 for fun : Ep 83 sus description synopsis

So, this is what happened when chapter 126 came out ...

Part 1 | Part 2 (collecting)

[marjansmarwani]

let me tell you now

1.8k || ao3

Still reeling from their fight and stung from waiting for a door to open that never did, Carlos declines TK's call. It's only after he learns something that sets him spinning and makes him wonder if he had passed up on the last chance he would ever have to talk to his boyfriend and if they would never have a chance to make this right. --- A (very belated) missing moment from 2x12

I’ve been in such a writing slump lately that I just wanted to finish something, so here is this fic I started last season and then set aside, until this morning. Maybe it was mostly done, but I still finished it so it counts. Many thanks to @moviegeek03 for editing this and @justaswampdemon for listening to me complain constantly. You’re both the best 💕

------

When Carlos’s phone rang and TK’s name appeared on the screen, Carlos declined the call and turned his phone over. Whatever it was that TK had to say he couldn’t handle right now. Thoughts of the way TK had looked at him at the station were still too fresh in his mind, as was the cold dread of waiting for their front door to open last night and it never happening. He was too raw to deal with this now; not here at work. He’d call him back later. 

His actions, unfortunately, did not go unnoticed by his partner, who glanced at him with a raised eyebrow from her adjoining desk. 

“Trouble in paradise?” she asked wryly and he shot her an unimpressed look, causing her to raise up her hands defensively. “Sorry, I just thought you’d have this sorted out by now.” 

“He didn’t come home last night,” Carlos replied tightly, turning away from her to his computer, “so we haven’t had a chance to talk yet.” 

“So ignoring him now is…” 

“Professional,” Carlos supplied brusquely. “I can’t focus on that right now. I’ll talk to him later, when I’m not at work.”

Mitchell seemed like she had an opinion on that but Carlos’s pointed avoidance of eye contact prevented her from pursuing the topic anymore. It worked too, for a while. Until the constant hum of activity around the precinct started to pick up from its usual steady calm to something more frantic. 

Carlos glance up from his desk curiously, sharing a bewildered look with Mitchell as people began to move with urgency around the room. “Matthews,” he called to one of the officers passing by, “what’s going on?”

“There was an explosion at one of the AFD Stations,” he called as he walked by, heading out to his cruiser. 

Carlos froze as the words registered, “Which station?” he asked, dread seeping in. But even as he asked, he already knew the answer. 

“The 126,” Matthews shouted over his shoulder before he disappeared out the door. 

Carlos could feel Mitchell’s eyes on him but all he could focus on was the oppressive fear pressing down on him. He went to stand from his seat but his partner was there in the next moment, pushing him back into it. 

“We weren’t called to the scene,” she reminded him. “There’s nothing for us to do right now.” 

“It’s the 126, Mitch,” he objected, voice shaking. “TK…” 

“I know,” she responded gently. “But we can’t go there and you know that. Not yet, at least. Besides…” 

She trailed off but Carlos could fill in the blanks of the words she wasn’t willing to say: he was too involved. If anyone had been hurt — if he had been hurt — Carlos couldn’t be there as an officer. They were his closest friends. TK was his partner. There was too much at stake for him to stay detached and professional. 

And there was too much fear pounding in his heart to allow him to focus on anything else. 

“What if…” he started before swallowing and trying again, “The last thing we did was fight, Mitch. What if I never have a chance to make that right?” 

What if the worst had happened and he never got to remind TK how much he loved him, is what he was really thinking and judging by the pained look on his partner’s face, she knew. 

“Don’t go borrowing trouble, Reyes,” she said instead. “You don’t know until you know.” 

He nodded and she gave him a tight smile before stepping back from his chair. “I’ll go see what I can find out,” she offered, already turning in the direction of their Captain’s office, “are you going to be okay here?” 

Carlos nodded, but stood from his chair. “I’m going to go out back,” he told her, “get some air and make some calls.” 

Plus he could feel the eyes of some of the others on him as word spread. If he was going to get bad news, he wasn’t about to do it with an audience. 

Mitchell nodded and patted his arm before walking away. Carlos retrieved his phone from his desk and followed suit, slipping through the back door into the parking lot and the late May heat. He slumped against the wall as the door swung shut behind him, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath, willing his heart rate to slow. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Not just in general, but the fact that it was happening now, after that fight. 

After they had walked away from each other hurting and uncertain; after they had spent a night apart in stony silence. They had been dating for just over a year now and in all that time, this was the longest they had ever gone without talking. 

Carlos hated the thought that there was a chance that this silence could be permanent. 

He opened his eyes and glanced down at his phone, feeling yet another stab at regret at the knowledge that he had ignored TK’s call. He pushed aside the thought that it may have been their last chance to talk and swallowed down the bile that accompanied it. But then a moment later he felt a jolt go through him as he noticed a notification: 1 new voicemail. 

He nearly dropped his phone in his haste to open it and his heart nearly skipped when he noticed that it was from TK. He began to play it and as he raised his phone to his ear with shaking hands, he closed his eyes again in relief as the warm and familiar sound of TK’s voice greeted him.  

“Hey, Carlos,” he began. “Listen, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but no matter how angry you are, I didn’t want you to worry in case you heard. There was an explosion at the firehouse, but we’re all fine. Everyone made it out in time. So if you hear about it, I’m fine. I promise.” 

There was a pause in which Carlos took a deep breath and sagged against the wall in relief. TK was okay. For a moment he had let himself imagine the worst and to know he had been wrong felt like a thousand pounds being lifted off his shoulder. He was about to exit his voicemail and call TK himself when his voice sounded in his ear again. The message wasn’t done, apparently. 

“And, well I’d rather have this conversation with you and not your voicemail,” TK said, “but I’m sorry, Carlos. I’m so fucking sorry. You don’t have to accept that because I know I hurt you, but I really am so sorry. So um, yeah. I’m okay, and I’m sorry. That’s basically it. I’ll talk to you soon, I hope? I love you.”  

The voicemail ended, but Carlos’s world started spinning again. He let out a breathless laugh and shifted so he could see his phone again, and made a call. 

The ringing seemed to last an eternity but eventually it ended and the most wonderful sound Carlos had ever heard took its place, “Carlos?” 

“Hey, babe,” Carlos replied, a smile spreading across his face at the absolute, irrefutable proof that TK was really okay, “I just heard about the explosion, and listened to your message. Is everyone really okay?” 

“Yes,” TK assured him, “we really are. Miraculously.” 

“Whatever happened?” 

“We don’t quite know ourselves, but apparently our dad’s hatched a scheme. You should call yours, I’m sure he’ll have more answers than any of the rest of us.” 

“Oh, I will,” Carlos assured him. “But right now I just want to see you. My shift is over in an hour,” he told him. “I can come by the station.” He cringed a section later as he remembered there really wasn’t much of a station to go to right now. “Um,” he added awkwardly, but he was cut off by TK’s laugh. 

“Yeah,” TK agreed, his voice heavy even as amusement lingered. “It’s going to take some getting used to. But I’m sure dad will have it up and running again in no time. But it sounds like I’m going to be tied up with questions and statements for a while. Can I meet you at home, later?” 

The last part was said with uncertainty and it made Carlos grimace. “It’s your home too,” he reminded him firmly. “Of course you can. I want you there, always.” 

“Thank you,” TK replied softly, and Carlos made a noise of agreement before they lapsed into silence. “Carlos?” TK said again and at his hum in response, he pressed on, “I’m so sorry, for everything.” 

“I know,” Carlos reminded him, “you already said that in your voicemail.” 

“Still,” TK insisted, “you deserve to hear it again, because I mean it. I never should have done that, no matter how upset I was. And if you can never forgive me, I understand.” 

“I do forgive you,” Carlos replied with certainty “Because I know it will never happen again.” 

And he did know that, because he knew TK. His boyfriend wasn’t someone who made mistakes twice, especially not when the remorse was so obvious in his voice. “Besides,” he added, “we were put into an impossible situation. I don’t think either of us can really be held accountable for how we acted.” 

“Still,” TK insisted, but Carlos cut him off.

“Apology accepted, babe, I promise. I’ll see you at home as soon as you can get away, try not to get stuck in another explosion in the meantime.” 

TK laughed and Carlos savored the sound that he had worried he would never get to hear again, “I’ll do my best,” he assured him. Carlos could practically see the fondly exasperated look the other man was likely wearing and was filled with an indescribable warmth.

 “TK?” he added before he went to end the call. 

“Yes?” 

“I love you,” he said simply. 

He knew TK knew that, but after everything, he wasn’t going to pass up on any opportunity to say it.  

“I love you too, Carlos,” TK replied softly. “I’ll see you at home.” 

And with that, the call was over and Carlos was once again left alone in the parking lot behind the station. TK was okay, and so were they. Carlos straightened up, pulling himself off the wall and checking the time. There was less than an hour left of his shift. Then he would be going home to wait for TK. Maybe he would make dinner, maybe they would watch a movie. Maybe they would go to bed early and simply enjoy each other’s company. All he knew for certain was that he hadn’t lost TK today and he was going to savor every moment he had with him tonight. 

Nothing was going to pull them apart, not if he had anything to say about it. 

[ms-scarletwings]

My last two braincells staring at this discourse hot plate I’ve avoided touching for this long like

And ah….

Fuck it. Someone is going to ask me sooner or later or start over-assuming a world of stuff and I’d rather be on the record than not about the elephant in the room if we get to that point. It’s a question I care to try answering genuinely.

So, I wasn’t really an active participant in the larger “fandom” back when fanbase culture, especially on tumblr, was memorably a whole different ballgame. If anything, I just remember being in high school and seeing this ship actually held up as so omnipresent and near rabidly supported among same-aged fans that it makes the current popularity of it feel almost niche by comparison.

Note I said feel, because lord knows I don’t have any actual backing on this besides a personal anecdote. Someone mentioned a valid point about how people who invest a lot of energy into character shipping generally calmed the hell down relative to what it looked like in the early 2010s and I have to agree with that perspective. But I’m also rambling really off-topic now.

I don’t Ship ZaDR and in fact I actually could be counted in that crowd of strong dislikers of it. Like 7/10 times I’m a personal cringer and those 3/10 times is probs under special circumstances. I just know a lot of it squicks me out for the hopefully obvious reasons unless you tweak ages and get way into OOC range. Most of the kind of ZaDR content that would gross me tf out is, I remind myself all the time, usually from pretty young fans who just don’t understand the gap is there and how steep it is in canon. It’s not just a numbers technicality. Zim being roughly 16 in Irk years does not translate to his equivalence to a 16 Earth-year old human anymore than we can say a 6 year old… idk, kobold is developmentally level to a 6 old human child. (For non DnD fans, Kobolds are full egg-laying adults at that age even though they can live to be around 120).

Dib is a human tween, and Zim is not just at the maturity rate for his species, he’s got over an earth century of military training/service and a little fry cooking on his resume. He went through the same underground educational class with The current Tallests. Zim, Skoodge, Red, and Purple are all from the same-aged generation of Irken stock. It’s sometimes easy to forget that when Zim’s a uniquely petite, whimsical creature and the characters he spends the most time interacting with are literal middle schoolers. Imagine shipping Red with Dib instead and you might realize we really let the height, mannerisms, and voice shape a lot of perception here. Or hey, maybe that’s just my take.

I can’t make any definitive comment on the dozens of iterations of ZaDR that are changing canon factors around since A. I don’t go looking for and researching any of that out of a personal disinterest. B. Something something, idk. Eat, Drink, and be Merry, and C. It’s flatly easier and I have more to say about the show as it exists because that’s the material I have on hand to speak for. I’m not here for high school tier media literacy and moralizing shit-flinging over imaginary scenarios about imaginary people either, just continuing a Fan to Fans dialogue on the matter.

So, as best as I can manage to be both some pretend outside observer and also in a position to agree with ZaDR hate, these are the main points I believe driving the most disapproval of this ship (as perceived on face value)

• ZaDR is a ship between characters which are unquestionably considered to be an adult and child by the canon setting.

Zim, is around 16 in Irk Years, 126-150+ something or older in Earth years, and “we have no actual idea” in equivalent human years, but definitely past that of cultural and physical adult maturity. There’s no real if, ands, or buts about that reality of the show and I think this is the single thing most driving the modern push against the ship or at least the vitriolic intensity behind that push. The fact that it’s remembered as a children’s cartoon makes anything that remotely smells like a pedophilla-adjacent topic, even if/when that smell comes from kneejerk assumptions or rumors, does to shipping discourse what mishandled gasoline does to an open bonfire. Predictably and reliably. And that is something that’s been ticking up in many other fandoms right now, just so happening to also include this one.

• ZaDR taken literally is very arguably incomprehensible outside of an OOC or AU context.

And this is the kind of thing I would otherwise love to have some fervent and good faith in-depth conversations with other fans about and elaborate on if they want to contest that, but as far as I have seen, most ZaDR shippers don’t to any degree of aggressiveness that antis try to characterize of them (appealing again to limited experience). And that’s something respectable in its own right if I’m making a correct observation. Like as far as I know these characters it's borderline a stretch already to conclude that Irkens, which are uniformly asexual cyborgs, will readily bond and affectionate in a way comparable to human romantic love.

• Jhonen Vasquez openly doesn’t like ZaDR.

Not that it matters to my opinion or that there’s any prescriptive weight to his stance, but I’d wager it’s probably from some combination of the above two points. Though, those who hate the ship enough to devote entire websites or blogs to fill their time up maintaining a crusade with probably point to Vasquez’s input here more like a post-hoc justification rather than an original motivation. But it gets brought up enough that I found it worth keeping in mind in understanding the crowd.

• A possible contrarian sentiment against what can be viewed as a recent trend of every canon hero/villain rivalry becoming an etl within common fanon. Maybe also a contrarian sentiment against romantically shipping every fictional duo with a speck of chemistry by default when a friendship interpretation is no less valid.

This idea I’m kind of just speculating about instead of reporting on. Maybe also projecting…Was just kind of a gut hunch that I can understand, even if I’d still find it more than anything else on the table to be a trivial reason to be downright destructive or confrontational about broad fandom engagement. It’s also a point not remotely unique to IZ pairings. I’d feel the same way if I saw people shipping Doofensmirtz and Perry the Platypus, or, SpongeBob and squidward in a “Problematics discussion aside, this just feels like a random bandwagon because someone could” sense. I really wouldn’t be hasty to assume this is homophia based, as I have seen some people suggest, because it’s actually a complaint I see way more often from queer aromantics and asexuals (who I emphasize with, being on the grey spectrum) than straight people, but that could also be the selection bias of my circles talking. When I actually was poking a nose around the web and getting through puberty in early 2010s America, ZaDR shipping was something I associated more with the same straight girls who were borderline obnoxiously obsessed with mlm relationships (anyone else remember the hayday of the Yaoi fangirl trope?) than actual LGBT+ people trying to find representation.

But yeah I just really don’t enjoy ZaDR myself and I do sometimes get annoyed at how it’s basically the most popular and well known ship within IZ as a community. But it’s also kind of fascinating as like, a phenomenon? The entire radioactive shitstorm surrounding and watching it gain over a decade of internet history (god I feel old now) and most of all I just find it very intimidating to be both so everywhere yet at the same time so freaking gd in range of some loud hornet nests.

So in the anyway, idk, I hope that was an honest, somewhat solid contribution to the conversation here, at risk of alienating some of you if my tone came across wrong 👉👈

Btw if there’s any false impression I really hope I did not send out above all, it is any ambiguity or hypocrisy around the pro-ship stance in my intro. Just because I find iterations of ZaDR disgustang and not aligned with my view of the canon doesn’t mean any terminally online antiship/pp nonsense claims me as an ally or promoter of it, capeesh?

i know its probably not my place to ask, but im genuinely curious why so many people absolutely hate zadr? like i got the message that people didnt like zadr but i never got the reason why, yknow?

[bluenet13]

A Friend's Always Got Your Back

Ao3 - ff.net

"Without TK- I wasn't sure if… You know."

"You're my friend too, Carlos," Nancy assured, understanding the meaning behind Carlos' broken words. "Not because of TK, but because of you. And I'm sure the rest of the 126 would agree. You're one of us."

Carlos nodded this time, his words failing him in this unfamiliar, fragile state. But he took a breath and pushed through. "I've never broken up with seven people at the same time. But that's what this feels like."

---

After learning of the break-up, Nancy pays Carlos a visit.

Nancy knocked on the door and shuffled on the spot as she waited. She was sure this was the right thing to do but she was still a little nervous. Luckily she didn't have to question her decision for long since the door opened almost immediately.

"Nancy, hi," Carlos greeted, trying to sound nonchalant but unable to hide his surprise.

"Hey, Carlos." Nancy took in his appearance and felt like she was intruding on a personal moment. His curls were wild and messy, like he had run his fingers through them a lot, and he was wearing sweats and a gray t-shirt. It was what she assumed TK's Carlos was like, domestic on an off-shift morning, laidback and unconcerned, and not at all like she was used to seeing the typically pristine officer.

"TK's not here," Carlos said. He stuffed his hands in his pants pockets and stood there blinking sluggishly at her.

"No, I know." Nancy took in Carlos' tired demeanor and the bags under his eyes. It was obvious her partner wasn't the only one hurting. "He's at my house. Nursing one hell of a headache and probably regretting his life choices, but -"

"Is he okay? Did he get hurt?" Carlos cut her off, his voice shaking.

"He's alright," she assured him. "But that's not why I'm here. How are you, Carlos?"

"Me? I'm fine," Carlos said defensively, and for a moment she wondered if he was about to shut the door in her face, but he only stepped back and vaguely motioned inside. "Want to come in?"

Nancy nodded and handed him the pastry box she'd been carrying. "I brought breakfast."

Carlos hummed his thanks and walked to the kitchen. He stayed quiet as he busied himself, grabbing plates and starting the coffee machine.

Nancy sat on a stool at the kitchen counter while Carlos worked. She had been to Carlos' home enough times to know the space was always immaculate, but today there were dirty plates and glasses in the sink, empty takeout boxes on the dining table, and an unmade bed in the room she could see deeper in the apartment.

"Thank you for bringing this," Carlos said. He set a cinnamon roll on a plate and passed it to Nancy then cut a quarter of one and set it on a plate for himself. He poured coffee in two mugs and sat on a stool next to Nancy.

"Not hungry?" Nancy asked, brows pinched in worry.

"Not really." Carlos shrugged and took a tentative bite. "It's really good." Despite his words he didn't seem too interested.

"So, how are you, really?" Nancy asked after a moment of quiet.

Carlos paused mid bite. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

Nancy rolled her eyes and took another bite. "Don't play dumb with me, Reyes. You know why I'm here. TK told me you guys broke up."

"Oh," Carlos breathed out and in between the two letters his demeanor crumbled.

"What happened?" Nancy wondered.

"TK didn't tell you?" Carlos asked, sounding interested in the conversation for the first time.

"No." Nancy took a sip of her coffee and waited to see if Carlos would explain.

"So, what happened to TK?" Carlos shifted uncomfortably and changed the topic, much to Nancy's disappointment. "You said he's nursing a headache. Did he," he cut himself off, swallowed hard, "He didn't, right?"

"No," Nancy said quickly, wanting to ease that specific concern. "Bar fight." Nancy frowned when he didn't react and added, "You don't seem surprised."

"No," Carlos said simply, "I guess I'm not." He shrugged and looked down, using his fork to play with the pastry on his plate.

"Not the first time?" Nancy asked. That made sense; only experience and one too many fights could have kept TK from ending up on a stretcher last night.

"Not my story to tell." That answer alone was enough for concern, especially coupled with last night's events. So, Nancy made a mental note to keep an eye on TK for the foreseeable future.

Nancy nodded and they fell into silence. Quietly, they finished their cinnamon rolls and drank their coffee and only when the silence had become oppressive did Nancy talk again. "I answered all your questions, so now it's your turn. How are you doing?"

Carlos inhaled, released it out slowly. He ran a hand down his face, then his fingers through his curls, tugging at the end in frustration before walking to the sink under the pretense of doing the dishes. It was only when his back was to Nancy that he finally answered, "What do you want me to say, Nance? That I'm not doing well? That I haven't slept soundly in days? That I miss him?"

Nancy walked to Carlos and hugged him. He tensed at first, then relaxed and sank into her arms, clearly in need of comfort. "I'm sorry," Nancy whispered, wishing she could say more. Wishing she could do more.

"Want to tell me what happened?" she asked when Carlos pulled back.

Carlos shook his head and said nothing as he went back to washing the dishes.

"Anything I can do to help?" Nancy tried, wishing her healing skills extended to a broken heart.

He shook his head again, but this time turned around to look at her. "This. Just this. Thank you for stopping by, for checking on me. Now that," he stumbled through his words, "Without TK- I wasn't sure if… You know."

"You're my friend too, Carlos," Nancy assured, understanding the meaning behind Carlos' broken words. "Not because of TK, but because of you. And I'm sure the rest of the 126 would agree. You're one of us."

Carlos nodded this time, his words failing him in this unfamiliar, fragile state. But he took a breath and pushed through. "I've never broken up with seven people at the same time. But that's what this feels like." He laughed and looked down, embarrassed.

Nancy's eyes softened. It was hard when your life was so intertwined with a partner that you no longer knew where one of you ended and the other began. She assumed he had other friends, maybe even some on the force, but his life had become so tied up with TK's that he was basically part of the 126 in everything but job title.

She checked her watch. "I have a shift so I have to head out." She fixed him with a hard look as she stood. "I don't know what went wrong between you guys. Clearly neither of you want to talk about it. But I really hope you can fix whatever it was." She reached over and gave his arm a squeeze. "Don't give up on each other."

Carlos nodded but didn't respond and she turned toward the door. "Can you call me if anything else happens to him?" he asked, the words quick as if he had been trying to hold them back but they'd come out anyway.

Nancy nodded, pleased. "You can call him too, you know."

"I can, but he will probably not answer," Carlos said, a trace of bitterness in his tone.

"Okay," Nancy acknowledged. She walked to the door and Carlos followed. "I expect to see you at my apartment at the next 126 hangs." When he opened his mouth to protest, she glared at him and said, "No excuses, Reyes. You're stuck with us now."

Carlos couldn't help but smile, grateful beyond words to still be considered a friend. "I'll be there," he promised.

"Don't forget Andrea's taquitos," Nancy threw over her shoulder. She chuckled at his startled look and said, more seriously this time, "And call if you need anything. No matter when or time of day. I'm here for you."

Carlos' choked up thank you was the last thing she heard as she stepped inside the elevator and pressed the button to the lobby.

Nancy hadn't known what to expect from her visit to Carlos' place. What she found there didn't exactly set her nerves at ease and now she doesn't only have to worry about one idiot paramedic but also a stubborn cop. But at least she knows for sure that her friends are still in love and if they need a little push in the right direction she's happy to be the one to shove them off a cliff if that would get them back together.