#obs did not like me tonight

[otakubimbo]

Don't Lose Control

Miguel x F!Reader

Plot w/ porn.

My legally required sex pollen fic as a fanfic writer. @safixiovi requested Miguel so here we are.

You and Miguel are on a mission together and nothing is going right. Your tech is all messed up and now it seems Miguel has gotten sick from something. He felt as if he was losing control of himself.

OB Sticky: I wrote this with one hand in my pants so excuse any grammatical errors and definitely not proofread. Also writing smut make me so embarrassed so if you hate it, don't. <3 Reblogs and Likes welcome, requests are still open.

masterlist

Confusion was written all over your face as you looked at the data on your computer in the universe you and Miguel were in currently. You had been working on tech to detect fluctuations in the multi-verse that could detect where anomalies would appear before they did. It had been doing well for the last few weeks, you were able to detect the appearance of an anomaly in three separate universes. So, the confusion now came with the fact that the monitor was detecting two fluctuations in the universe you were currently in, but nothing was showing up. The two of y’all had separated, you went to check out one of the fluctuations and he went to the other. But nothing, nothing was there in the area that read the fluctuations.

You groan out in the abandoned building that you were in, frustrated at the lack of any appearances.

“It was working so well, what the hell?” You grumble to yourself, typing in code strings into your computer trying to see if you can recalibrate the device that it was connected to get a more accurate reading. As your frustrations grew, your watch started going off for an incoming call. You answer it in hopes that at least on his end there was at least a sighting on his end.

“I’m in a damn field and not a single sight of anything but clouds of pollen.” Miguel’s digital image huffs at you. You groan, rubbing your face in irritation.

“Let’s fucking call it then and find somewhere to stay tonight or whatever.” You say abruptly hanging up on him. He would be able to find you, you knew that, and you didn’t really have the energy to hear his complaints about your tech or whatever he had to say.

Meanwhile, with Miguel.

You really hung up on him, in his face when it was your idea to have the both of you out here testing out your tech. Jess was left in charge while the two of you were gone but still, you had insisted and yet there was nothing here and the two of y’all had been at this investigation all day.  He cursed in Spanish as he coughed from all the pollen he was inhaling. It was everywhere, irritating his throat, eyes, and skin. It wasn’t even that he was frustrated your tech was having what seemed to be issues, it was that you insisted on checking things out separately when he figured the whole reason you wanted him here was to do this mission together, with each other. He had grown accustomed to your presence, to your voice, to your smile. It was all while you were figuring out the mechanics of this new tech of yours. To a certain extent, he was always fond of you, he had found you brilliant, driven, and innovative, one of the few spiders he could tolerate. But things started to change when you came up with the idea for this tech, the glittering in your eyes as you made strides on it. Every new aspect you brought to him, you picked his brain late into the night. The time the two of you spent together increased over the months and he realized that he really enjoyed your company. You brought a certain type of peace to him that he never thought he would get before, he actually started going to sleep more at night because he would make you go to bed which you wouldn’t unless he agreed to also. The two of you had got as close as someone could to Miguel.

Miguel cursed again as he felt his body heating up as he went to the directions you sent him for where the two of you would be spending the night he figured. He assumed he just needed to get whatever was in that field off of him and he would be fine after that. When he found you in the crowded lobby of the hotel, you looked irritated but so damn sexy.

Wait.

Where was his mind going right then? He would have to be blind not to realize that you were attractive. Of course, he acknowledged that about you, almost every spider has mentioned it since the day you joined. But the way you looked right now, drive a man to sin. Your curls were down for once, edges slightly sweated out, your skin held a red tone which made your brown skin glow slightly. It was obvious that you were frustrated with the way your nose crinkled making your nose hoop push up slightly on your face. The way your arms were crossed against your chest pushed your breasts up in a way that had them almost spilling out the top of your tank top, the sight going straight to his dick. His breathing started getting heavy as he gazed at you and then finally caught your eye, having you quickly walk towards him realizing how much of a sway to your hips there is when you walk had him feeling parched.  

“O’Hara, we have a problem” You start as you let out an exasperated breath looking up at him. This is when you notice his appearance, he is red, EXTREMELY RED, looking as if he just took on several baddies right before getting there. 

“Is everything okay?” concern is written all over your face as you gaze up at him, lips slightly parted and all Miguel could think about is what they would look like wrapped around his-----. His thoughts were cut off by you calling his name.

“Yeah, I’m fine, that stupid pollen is just all over me. Irritating” He brushes your concerns off saying a few curses in Spanish.

“Okay, well, they only had one room available because apparently there’s some sort of festival going on and I got the last room that was available at like any hotel.” You say as you shift your bag on your shoulder, which takes Miguel's focus back to your chest. The silver chain around your neck sits right above your cleavage. All he could think about was how high would it bounce if you were to ride his---

Again his thoughts were cut off by your voice.

“Alright, let's just get you to the room so you can get whatever is on you off and I can do some work.” You say as you grab his arm, dragging him to the elevators so you can get to your shared room. You didn’t have any clue what was wrong with Miguel, he never usually seemed so zoned out but you assumed whatever the field he was in was affecting him and his focus. His powers were different than other spiders, so you could figure that it was probably a chemical from their plants that was messing with him. You would have to send it off for some tests to see what it could be.

Once in the room, you tell Miguel to go ahead and use the shower to get himself together after you grab a sample of what was on him to send to Lyla.

“Hey Ly, can you analyze this? It got on Mig and he’s been dazed and out of it ever since we got to the hotel.” You say as you speak to the AI. She gives you a knowing look when you mention a hotel and she hears the sound of a shower in the background. “Don’t start, there’s literally no other rooms anywhere and I don’t want to leave tonight just in case the readings were actually accurate, and two anomalies show up. It wouldn’t be logical to leave just set.”

Lyla knew the way you felt for Miguel, she was there while yall were spending all of that time together. The looks that you took at him when you thought he wasn’t looking, the way you would sigh contently while working in the lab with him, and the way you spoke to him when it was just the two of you. Anyone with eyes could see how attractive that man was but it wasn’t just that which is what made you fall for him. Regardless of the way he could come off, he was kind and caring. He may not show it in the ways that other people did but he had such a big heart and was truly thoughtful of other people. The man would take everything on his shoulders just to make things easier for everyone. You admired him, you adored him, and he made you feel safe and understood and cared for. You really liked him, it didn’t help that he was a walking Adonis. His looks were just the cherry on top for you. Everyone seemed to know your affinity for him, except him. It didn’t help that you were always making excuses for his behavior, Jess would make jokes at your expense all the time about it.

“But the two of you sharing a room it seems?” Lyla giggles coming to sit on your shoulder.

“Cause there wasn’t anything else available” You whisper hiss at her, and she just giggles again “Please just analyze the sample I sent”

“Anything for Miguels other half.” She jokes as she fades away, and you just groan trying to focus back on your readings and tech.

Miguel did not want you that way. You knew that, he would never want you that way. He was a serious man with a hard past that never allowed for the option of romance. The multiverse and stopping anomalies were more than enough to occupy Miguel's mind and heart. You sigh, knowing that your affection will never be returned by him busying yourself with your work while he finishes his shower.

While in the shower, Miguel had already cum two times, and nothing was helping. His mind only filled with you and how you would feel under him, on top of him, how your lips would feel, the noises you would possibly make. It didn’t help that he knew you were just in the next room, he could almost feel you. He needed you badly and he didn’t know why it was so badly. For once, it was as if he lost control of himself. The way he needed to feel you, to hear you, to taste you, to be inside you. Mierda. He came again with just the thought of you in the other room, just the thought of you. It wasn’t enough but it would have to be, he knew you would worry if he took too long in there.

As he exits the bathroom, you notice you hunched over your laptop on the bed, fidgeting with your tech with such a concentration on what you were doing. The image made his dick throb. Fuck. His stuttering as he entered the room, caught your attention from your work. You only glance at him as you continue tinkering.

“Are you feeling any better?” You ask, still typing away.

“Yeah” He lies as he attempts to keep his voice from sounding strained.

“Good. I still sent some samples to Lyla to analyze.” You start before pausing for a second, “Since we don’t know what’s going on I think we should try to both sleep with some comfort tonight just in case we get an alert or something. We have been at this all day, so we need some rest.”

It took Miguel a second for him to realize what you meant by what you said. You meant that the two of you would have to share the bed. Together. Sleep next to each other. Together. Together, in the same bed. Together. He could barely contain himself in the shower, how in the hell was he supposed to contain himself sleeping next to you?

“Can you take a look at this while I take a shower? I can’t find anything that is wrong but I really don’t understand what’s going on.” You say only slightly looking up at him and then back down as you finish typing what you were working on shifting to get up while still trying to work.  

“Yeah sure” He attempts not to look at you as you put your stuff down, trying to finish your coding, distracting yourself from your previous statements, attempting not to think about you and Miguel sharing a bed. You don’t even look at him as you make your way into the bathroom.

The only thing Miguel could think about was you undressing in the bathroom, what you would look like as you caressed your body with a soapy washcloth. Mierda. How was he supposed to sleep next to you tonight?? He felt like he was losing control. You seemed to not be affected by the thought of sharing a bed with him, something about that was making him feel more feral. The image of you sleeping peacefully as he looms over you, starting with pressing his lips to your unexpected jawline, making his way down your body with his mouth. He could imagine your breath hitching as you started to wake up at his actions. Would you whimper as he made his way to your clothed cunt? Would you grip his hair as he teases you by licking you through your panties? Would you beg for him?

Mierda.

He was painfully hard again. What the fuck was he going to do? What the fuck was going on? He needed to calm himself down, he had no clue why he was acting like this. He was mumbling curses in Spanish, not even realizing that you had gotten out of the shower.

“Mig” You call out to him softly; he looks like he is in distress. His head snapped to your voice. Mierda, that damn nickname wasn’t helping him in this situation and neither did the way you looked. It wasn’t like you were wearing anything special or particularly sexy, it was a plain oversized shirt and he could see the peak of shorts underneath. That cute expression of concern that you wore, your gaze gentle on him. You called his name again.

“Are you okay Miguel? Do you think we should go back to headquarters? We can always just send some other spiders out to keep on alert.” You suggest moving towards him. At your movements, it was as if he snapped out of whatever spell was on him.

“No, no it’s fine.” He rebuttals, “The tech is too new to trust with anyone else. I’ll be fine. Let’s just go to bed.”

You nod at him, still worried about him but going to bed was probably the best option for him right now. The two of you get into bed, laying down on opposite sides, and backs towards each other.

Miquel can’t sleep. Every other minute, he's trying to gently ( as gentle as someone his size can be) toss and turn in his discomfort. There was no way he was getting any sleep tonight, especially with the way he could feel your warmth even from the other end of the bed. Unfortunately, his excessive tossing didn’t allow you to sleep either. You were worried about him but you know his stubbornness wouldn’t free him enough to tell you the issue. But at this rate, neither one of you would be able to sleep tonight at this so you conceited and turned over with a sigh to face him. He was lying on his back not realizing that you had woken up, it looked as if he was sweating. Did he have a fever? Was he really sick? You lean up on your elbow, extending your hand out to touch his forehead.

“Miguel you don’t look well.” You speak as your hand reaches out towards him, right before your hand lands he grabs your wrist and looks at you with wild eyes.

“Don’t” He says through gritted teeth.

“Mig, please, what is wrong?” You ask so innocently, while all his thoughts about you aren’t even close to innocent. With you so close now, with that look in your eye, Miguel was losing all of his sanity. Fuck it. Swiftly, with your wrist still in his hand he straddles himself on top of you. Your eyes immediately go wide as you feel your body move, looking up at him, you don’t fight him though.

“I----” He starts, panting above you.

“What Miguel?” You asked breathily, fuck you looked so beautiful beneath him. Your eyes find him and they're red. He looks almost feral.

“ I don’t know how much longer I can control myself” His voice is strained as his grip on your wrist gets a little harder. The way he was looking at you, wasn’t something you expected. The look of unbridled lust in his eyes, you could feel it coming off his body.

Your voice barely above a whisper calls out his name.

“Stop, please. You don’t understand how badly I need to ruin you.” He groans as his head falls to the side of your head, his face burying into your neck breathing in deeply with a growl. Your breath hitches in your throat, unable to think clearly of what is going on in this moment. The stoic and controlled man that you had grown to know just told you he wanted to ruin you and the biggest problem was that you were okay with it. There was a newfound ache between your legs while he was speaking to you and now the ache was growing with the way he was breathing into your neck. Fuck it. You roll your hips into his, feeling his restrained bulge twitch with the impact.

“Then ruin me, Miguel.”

His head shoots up at your words, it was taking all of his self-control at that moment to not rip the clothes you were wearing off. He had to be sure he understood you correctly, he had to be sure you knew how serious he was about ruining you, destroying you, making you his own.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, hermosa.” He strains out, unconsciously pushing his hips into you, you let out a small moan at the sensation and Miguel thought he almost came just from that sound alone.

“I do, I want you. I want you to ruin me, Miguel.” You say, a lustful look in your eyes as he’s still panting above you. He was trying to hold on to his last ounce of self-restraint until you said one word. “Please”

That was all it took before he sank his fangs into your neck. You gasped at the sudden pain until you felt him licking the wound he just created making you moan his name at the sensation. His hands are all over your body as he is kissing and sucking on your neck, moving your legs so that he is in between them to grind himself into you.

“Fuck Miguel” You moan as your hips meet with his, “Kiss me”

He immediately abides by your request, mouth meeting yours in an aggressive lustful kiss. Miguel forces his tongue into your mouth as he presses his body into yours. His claws digging into your plush thighs which had you moaning into his mouth as he explored yours. The both of you breathing heavily as he moves again from your mouth to your jaw to the other side of your neck marking you the same as he did on the other side. After he is pleased with his marks he leans up, gazing down at your chest heaving, your eyes half-lidded as you look up at him. Fuck, he doesn’t even bother lifting your shirt off you as he rips it in the front to expose you to him. The view was better than he imagined, of course, he had seen you in your spidey suit which didn’t leave much to the imagination but this view, actually seeing you bare under him was just too much. He came then and there, not even caring because the next time he came he hoped it would be inside of you, your eyes widened at the guttural moans he made as he came. Without even a moment of shame or embarrassment, his mouth latches onto one of your breaths as he palms the other.

“Wait wait, Miguel did you come?” You attempt to get out during his onslaught on your tits.

“Yes, and I’m going to come again, inside you.” He says as he makes his way down your body to your clothed cunt. He had no shame in his words, as he quickly made shreds of your shorts and underwear, he could live out his fantasies of teasing you at another time. He needed to taste you right now. Before you could even respond to his words, or to the fact that he has ripped all your clothes off Miguel's tongue is lapping at your folds. You can’t help but squirm underneath him, as he’s eating you like a man starved. Fuck was he obsessed with the way you tasted; he knew he was going to have to have this all the time now.  He made out with your clit as your hands dug into his scalp gripping his hair. It was all so overwhelming; you couldn’t even grind yourself against his face as his strong hands held your hips down. You were reaching your peak faster than ever before, you were moaning his name like a chant as you got closer and closer to getting over the edge.

The sound of his name being moaned off your lips was driving him even crazier, his hips pushing into the bed as he starts sucking directly on your clit. He moves one of the hands that was holding your hips down to shove two of his thick long fingers into your clenching waiting hole. It was as if he already knew your body because his fingers automatically found the spot that made your vision blurred. Your body responded on its own as you came, and came hard, squirting all over his face. The squirting caught him off guard, as he pulled his face out of your cunt with a surprised expression.  Oh fuck, he needed to see you do that again, and by the way your walls squeezed his fingers as you did, he knew he needed to see you do it again but on his dick. He freezes himself from the restraint of his own clothing as he comes back to hover over you. You looked so damn beautiful, your lips were puffy from his kiss and he could see the bite marks that he left on you, pupils blown and breath coming back down from your orgasm.  He didn’t give you much time to recover as he grabbed your legs throwing them over his shoulder and pounding into you.

You scream his name as he furiously slams his hips into yours. His hands are under your ass, grip tight as he lifts you slightly to go deeper into you, too deep. The tip of his dick ramming into your cervix with every thrust. You had never been one that could just come from penetration, but the way Miguel was pounding into right now seemed was going to change that. He can feel the way your clamp down on his as the tightness returns back to your stomach. Fuck you were going to come again, you were so sensitive, so sensitive for him. Your nails digging cresent shaped marks into his arms as you come again this time on his dick.

“I’m going to come inside you” He tells you through his thrusts and the aggressive manner in which he said it made you clamp down on him even harder. He spills into you, so much that it starts leaking out as he continues to pound into you. You had assumed once he came again he would stop but he doesn’t, you can still feel how hard he is inside of you as he pumps his cum deeper into you. As the final bursts of his come stop, he pulls out swiftly getting off the bed, grabbing your ankles to drag you to the edge. Flipping your body over and pulling up you on your knees, he shoves your face into the bed as he inserts himself into you again. His pace doesn’t slow down as he ruts into you. It felt like he was even deeper than before. One of his hands moves to your shoulder to pull you back as he slams into you, his other hand moves to your clit to rub hard circles on it stimulating you further.

“Fuck Mig--- im--- im cuming” You scream as you cum again hard, doing exactly what he wanted and squirting. He could feel it all over his hand, making him cum again inside of you. You look back at him as you finish feeling him cum in you, thinking that he must be done. The sight you see behind you makes you know that you weren’t even close to finished. Miguel had his hand that was covered in your squirt up to his face inhaling deeply before he stuck his tongue out licking his fingers. He gets even harder inside you; it doesn’t look like there would be any sleep tonight, he really was going to ruin you.

The next morning you wake up, bruised and sore. Your head was on Miguel's chest and he was snoring peacefully under you. With a groan, you get up as you feel a notification on your gizmo, you had almost completely forgotten that you had requested Lyla to analyze the substance. As you look at the results you feel incredibly embarrassed, mortified. The substance that was on Miguel was some sort of aphrodisiac, so that’s why he was acting that way towards you. As you were getting further into your head about last night events Miguel woke up.

“Your thinking woke me up.” He grumbles as he sits up looking over your shoulder to see what you were looking at.  He reads the results of the substance that was on him and now he understands what you were possibly thinking. You thought he only wanted you because of the aphrodisiac, but with the way he marked you he would have thought you would know that he wanted YOU and you ALONE.

“Hey” He says as he touches your shoulder, you jump back from his touch.

“Hey, yeah so it’s fine you know. We can just forget about everything last night, I know you couldn’t control yourself. Its fine” You ramble on trying to not embarrass yourself further, he gentle grabs your chin as you speak a stark contrast from his behavior last night and some of this morning.  He doesn’t say anything but look into your eyes giving you a soft kiss on the lips.

“It wasn’t just that, I only wanted it to be with you. I only thought about you. Alright?” He says in the most gentle way you have ever seen him speak. A small smile forms on your lips from the reassurance.

“Alright.” You say and he gives you another kiss, a little more aggressive this time. How was this man not tired anymore?! You saw the half-life on the substance he should be done. “Miguel, the effects should have worn off by now.”

“They have,” He says against your mouth. “This is YOUR effect” moving your hand to allow you to feel for yourself how you affect him. Before things could go any further, you get a notification from your new tech and your gizmo that there were two anomalies in this dimension, around the areas that you detected yesterday.

“See, I knew it!” You exclaim as you activate your suit almost forgetting what you were just doing with Miguel. His dick twitches under your hard and you remember what’s going on. “Oh right, uhm this first, and then we can go back to headquarters and I can take care of that for you,” You say with a sultry smile which makes his dick twitch again.

You and Miguel catch both of the anomalies in record time, him being extra careful to avoid the pollen this time. The two of you continue where you left off after you get back to headquarters, immediately both taking your leave which received knowing glances from both Lyla and Jess.

[woso-fan91]

Forever After All (Steph Catley x singer reader)

Steph and reader started dating before both got famous. Let‘s get a sneak peak on a few parts of their story.

2015:

Steph stepped onto the pitch as a Melbourne Victory player for the last time. It was already decided that her next loan step would be Melbourne City. Her eyes scanned the stands before landing on her girlfriend of four years Y/n. She smiled and waved at Steph with a bright smile and Steph waved back. Both of them decided to go out tonight, no matter the outcome of the game just enjoying eachothers presence.

Later that night both Steph and Y/n sat in their booth at their favourite pub enjoying a cold beer with some fries and the jukebox playing softly their song in the background.

Later after their dinner together Y/n took Stephs hand and they walked to Y/n‘s truck. Charmingly Y/n opened Steph the door on the passenger site and let her get in.

Y/n started the truck and drove to the hill where she and Steph kissed for the first time.

After she parked the truck she grabbed the Maglite in the back of the truck taking Steph to an old oaktree cuddling up with her favourite defender.

Steph relaxed into your arms with a content sigh playing with Y/n‘s fingers knowing her scedule will become more hectic once the season starts.

She had no clue how right she was. Sure they lived together but their time alone became sacred.

They got into a routine and Steph felt, that was something that was bothering her girlfriend.

2020

The defender woke up alone in bed and your side of the bed was cold. With a sigh she stood up brushing the wrinkles out of your shirt she usually slept in. Steph usually slept in one of your shirts because they were more comfortable than her own and they smelled like you. She found you in the kitchen drinking tea: ”What are you doing up Baby?“ Surprised Y/n looked up: ”I could ask you the same dear. You need rest after your tough game yesterday.“ Steph stepped between your legs, wrapping her arms around your neck: ”I know but I usually sleep better when you‘re with me.“ You wrapped your arms around Steph‘s waist: „Sorry Love, I couldn‘t sleep properly so I thought getting up would be better than to wake you up.“ The moonlight shone through your kitchen window and danced across Stephs face. You couldn’t help yourself and kissed your girlfriend lovingly, she looked so beautiful in just your shirt, hair up and face void of makeup. It wasn‘t always easy dating a professional footballer who was on the move to England and with your own career kicking off but you knew deep down, that your love was worth everything.

A cold beer's got twelve ounces

A good truck's got maybe three hundred thousand

You only get so much until it's gone

Duracells in a Maglite

A needle drop on a forty-five

Are the kinda things that only last so long

When the new wears off and they get to getting old

Sooner or later, time's gonna take its toll

They say nothing lasts forever

But they ain't seen us together

Or the way the moonlight dances in your eyes

Just a t-shirt in the kitchen

With no make-up and a million

Other things that I could look at my whole life

A love like that makes a man have second thoughts

Maybe some things last forever after all

2023

You and Steph did a year of long distance but with close to 17.000km distance you decided to follow your girlfriend to England. Of course you were scared that Steph would not be happy to have you close again but with the help of Caitlin you decided to bite the bullet and hop on the plane.

You usually lived ob the outskirts of town so the bustling city of London kinda came as a cultural shock. You felt out of place but Caitlin‘s sure hand helped you relax. You were aware that Stephs ex was also in London and both met up regularly. A part of you was bothered by it, knowing how close they both still are but the other, bigger, part of yourself trusted Steph with your life and knew she would never cheat on you. They were still friends after their love fizzled out.

Caitlin drove you to the training facilities and you followed her inside. She guided you to the field where the rest of the Arsenal girls were practicing.

Katie McCabe looked up when she saw her girlfried return with another girl by her side and hollered playfully: ”Oi babe, you cheating on me?“ Caitlin snorted next to you before yelling back: ”Yep, you caught me with my missus.“ Katie laughed and the other girls came closer. Last one coming closer was Steph and when she realized it was you, she dropped her bottle surprised: ”Baby!“ Nervously you scratched your neck and smiled sheepishly: ”Hi…“ Steph stepped closer placing her hands on your cheeks: ”What are you doing here?“ You placed your hands on Stephs hips: ”Surprise?“ und smiled nervously. Steph kissed you infront of her team and you happily kissed her back, picking her up and twirling her around.

Kim cleared her troat: ”Want to introduce us Steph?“ Steph smiled brightly at her teammates: ”This is Y/n, my girlfriend of 12 years.“

Leah and Alessia put 2 and 2 together figuring out who you were: ”Wait, Y/n as in Y/n Y/l/n the country singer?“ Blushing slightly you nodded: ”In the flesh.“ Alessia squealed: ”Oh my god, we‘re such huge fans!“

Later that evening Steph posted a photo of the two of you curled up on her couch with the simple caption: ‚My love is finally home ❤️‘ and tagged you in it. You weren’t sure if it was a hard launch or a soft launch bit you didn’t exactly care either.

FM station on the outskirts

Blue jeans after years of shift work

All fading out like I always knew they would

The strings on this guitar

The first love lost on a young heart

Those things are gonna break after the getting's good

'Cause the new wears off and they get to getting old

Yeah, sooner or later, time's gonna take its toll

They say nothing lasts forever

But they ain't seen us together

Or the way the moonlight dances in your eyes

Just a t-shirt in the kitchen

With no make-up and a million

Other things that I could look at my whole life

A love like that makes a man have second thoughts

Maybe some things last forever after all

They say nothing lasts forever

But they ain't seen us together

Or the way the moonlight dances in your eyes

You settled in nicely in London living with Steph again getting back into spending your time between the studio, writing songs, planning a proposal and spending time with Steph.

Your chance for the proposal came, when you had a huge gig at the O2 Arena in London. Steph and the girls interested got VIP tickets on your insistence and enjoyed their night and the sold out Arena.

You picked up your old guitar, the one that Steph got you for your one year anniversary, and smiled into the crowd: ”Well London, how are you guys doing? Enjoying yourself tonight?“ The crowd cheered loudly and you laughed happily: ”Well, I‘m so happy we’re on the same page here. I got a little surprise for you. You guys know I‘m not a fan of phones during concerts but for this I‘m willing to make an exception. Most of you know I‘m happily taken and very much in love with my girlfriend Stephanie and she is here tonight with some of her friends.“ The crowd cheered for Steph who blushed prettily and you turned to your security: „Guys, can you please help her up her?“ while the staff brought out a chair. As instructed they helped Steph onto the stage and she looked mildly nervous but intrigued what you were up to.

With a smile you took her hand and led her to the chair placed infront of the stool you would sit on. You pressed a tender kiss onto her lips under the roudy cheers of the crowd. Laughing you pulled back: ”Okay, okay, sorry I couldn’t resist. I mean can you blame me? Look at my Missus…“ Steph swatted you playfully: „Thin ice buddy.“ You gave her a crooked smile: „I know but I enjoy living on the edge.“ Steph shakes her head laughing and you decided to get back on track: ”But let me be real now… Baby, we‘ve been together for 12 years now. I watched you thrive on and off the field and I‘m so extremely proud of you. Watching you kick ass at the worldcup in the summer leading your team to such hights I couldn’t help but fall more in love with you every second of every day. We had our ups and downs but we always managed to get through and end up back on top. You‘re my everything Steph and I want to spend my forever with you. The next song kinda puts our relationship to paper and I‘m extremely proud that I wrote this song completely my myself. This is Forever After All.“

When the song finished you took the guitar off and got on one knee infront of Steph: ”I don’t want to do life without you Steph. You made sure I started to believe in a forever kind of love again so I want to ask you something really important: Stephanie-Elise Catly would you do me the honour to become my wife? Will you marry little old me?“

Stephs eyes were brimming with tears: „Fuck yes!“ The laugh that bubbled in your throat was a laughter of facilitation and you took the ring out of the box and put it on her finger. You shared a sweet kiss while you saw the flahes from the cameras: ”Make sure to send me those pictures aye?“ You looked over: ”For the last song I want the Arsenal girls here with us! This is The Angel“

A little look in the future

You were sitting at Stephs hospital bed, holding her hand where her weddingbamd glimmered in the sun. She was weak and you felt it won‘t be long until the Lord called her home first. Deep down you knew that you would soon follow your wife. A lone tear ran down your cheek and you pressed a kiss to the back of her hand: ”Rest love. I know you‘re in pain, just sleep I will be right here. With one last deep breath you knew he took Steph home. Your kids cried out but you smiled despite the tears: ”Kids, look at your mother… she is at peace now and will watch over you guys from above.“ Just as you said that, the sun seemd to get stronger and warmed all your faces and hearts "See, she shows us, that she‘s home. That she‘s fine“

Just a few weeks later, after you made sure that there was nothing to worry about your kids anymore you followed your wife home.

As you arrived you saw your parents laughing with a younger, healthier Steph. You looked down on yorself. The wrinkles were gone and you looked just as young as Steph. With a last look back you heard the voice of your son ”Tell mom hi. We love you so much.“

Your parents pulled you in a hug after all these years apart ”We‘re so proud of you dear. You got a good one there.“ With a bright smile you nodded ”I know. She‘s my Forever After All“

Steph stepped up to you ”Hi Baby. Welcome home, I missed you“ and with that you did what you always did when you still could: Picked the Love of your Forever up, twirled her around and kissed her with all the love you felt.

And I know there'll be that moment

The good Lord calls one of us home and

One won't have the other by their side

But heaven knows that that won't last too long

Maybe some things last forever after all

After all

[bidisasterevankinard]

Tease tidbit Tuesday

I was tagged by @perfectlysunny02 💙

ok, so I should write other fics but this angst idea was born. meet titled(wtf?) fic "He's your forever (sometimes I wish it was me)", where Eddie pines over pregnant Buck who's happily dates Tommy and expects their baby (don't worry Eddie'll be happy eventually too)(More likely this fic is one of the part of mpreg series I plan)

Buck cooks the breakfast in crop top, and Eddie can't stop his eyes and mind wander to the little bump he's showing off with his choice of clothes. Tommy and Chris are still sleeping, so Eddie lets himself this moment of weakness when he knows no one will see him. He doesn't want anyone to catch him ogling his best friend's pregnant body, and precious little bump, that he's sure he can hold in his palm and it will fit pretty snugly. He doesn't need anyone to ask him why he's looking so fiercely. He definitely doesn't want to lie because he knows he won't convince anyone. But the truth is something Eddie will take to the grave with him.

No one will ever find out that he wishes he was staying in his kitchen with pregnant Buck and only Chris still sleeping in the house. No one will ever know he wishes Tommy wasn't so good for Buck and Buck is so in love with him. No one will ever judge him that even though he's incredibly happy for Buck and Tommy and excited to meet his godkid, he wishes it was not baby Kinard, but baby Diaz Buck growing with his body.

But it's not. 

"Can you start setting the table and then wake boys?" Buck asks, not taking his attention from pancakes and Eddie hums in affirmation, readily taking the chance to stop being so miserable pining over a man who was never his. Especially not in the house Buck and Tommy just moved together right before sharing happy news about how soon their family will grow.

"Morning," Tommy's hoarse voice cuts the silence of the kitchen, and Eddie nods and fakes a smile to his friend before Tommy gets all his attention to Buck, kissing him as if he's the most precious thing he has ever seen. He puts his hand on Buck's belly, whispering something to the man. Eddie feels sick how perfectly the bump and Tommy’s palm go together. As puzzle pieces.

Buck smiles and kisses Tommy again, "don't worry, our baby was pretty kind to me tonight. Barely any nausea."

Nodding with a smile, Tommy kisses his birthmark and hugs Buck's waist. Humming the song Eddie doesn't know, Tommy sways them a little as an impromptu slow dance. It makes Buck smile so brightly Eddie wishes he had ever seen that smile at him. He never did. It's Tommy's smiles. His boyfriend puts it on Buck's face. Not him. It never belonged to him. As Buck never did.

Taking deep breaths in and out, Eddie quickly puts the last plate and almost runs to the guest room. He needs a moment to get himself together and trying to get a grumpy sassy teen to wake up is a good way to forget how the man he loves so much has a beautiful morning with his boyfriend. Not with him.

Eddie hears pieces of their conversation coming from the kitchen. He hears talking about possible nursery colors and what renovations they need to do. He hears Buck saying the date and time of his next appointment with OB and Tommy’s the most gentle voice promises to be here for Buck and their baby.

He shakes his head and runs to the bathroom. He needs cold water. He needs some time for himself. To think only about good. About how happy his friends are. Reprimanding himself for being awful to their happiness, Eddie enters the room where Chris still snores peacefully, not knowing what a battle his dad has in his heart.

Np tagging @bewilderedbuckley @wikiangela @hippolotamus @diazsdimples @devirnis @bigfootsmom @bi-buckrights @queerbuck @queerdiaz @watchyourbuck @evanbi-ckley @repressedqueen @racerchix21 @kinrdevan @theotherbuckley @theweewooshow @thatmexisaurusrex @powersuitup @pirrusstuff @saybiwithme @diazheartsbuckley @monsterrae1 @cal-daisies-and-briars @bekkachaos @lavenderleahy @leashybebes and anyone who wants to

[fkmarrycill]

One Shot: A Small Favor

Tommy Shelby x reader

630-ish words (635 in Google Docs, give or take some final edits in Tumblr 🤷🏽‍♀️)

🔞 For implied sex and foreplay

I'm slowly easing back into writing, and this scene was inspired by #16 on this list of smutty prompts. The idea just screamed Tommy to me. Thank you for reading! ❤️

She sets her lipstick on the dressing table and admires her efforts for tonight: hair twisted into a low chignon, lips an enticing shade of deep red, eyes lined for subtle drama. Her black, off-the-shoulder gown skims the dangerous curves of her body, and diamonds sparkle in her ears and on one of her wrists.

There's just one thing marring the sophisticated look she was going for: an angry, purplish bruise on her collarbone. She stares at it in the mirror. It's not large, maybe the size of her fingertip, but it's all she can see now.

He approaches from behind, resting his hands on her shoulders and kissing her neck. “Is something wrong, love?” He traces a finger on one of her ears before gently nipping her earlobe.

“You damn well know the answer to that, Tommy. Look at what you did! I told you, not tonight! Churchill could be there!”

“He loves the arts, as I'm told, and certainly will be in attendance at the opera. And, lucky for me, the only thing that he loves more than arts and this fine country is a bawdy story.” He winks at her reflection and kisses her on the top of her head. “This one tells itself quite clearly, with no need for a single word of elaboration, yeah?”

“You already planned to meet with him, didn't you?”

“I may have offered to buy him a drink during intermission and meet my wife, yes… Did I not mention that?” He murmurs before sliding his hands up her ribcage, skimming her body just below her breasts, before cupping them in his hands over the fabric and grazing his fingers on her nipples.

She lets out a soft moan but quickly recovers. “No, Tommy, you most certainly did not.” She wriggles out of his grasp and heads to her closet, returning shortly to the mirror to arrange a floral-print scarf around her neck. But Tommy's handiwork from their earlier lovemaking refuses to be concealed, peeking out just below the edge of the artfully arranged silk.

She yanks the scarf from her neck and sighs in frustration before balling it up and throwing it at him.

“Oi,” he barks gently, as he often does when mildly scolding their children. He lets the scarf fall to the floor, grabs her hands, and pulls her close. “I won’t apologize for marking you up,” he says with a stern shake of his head. “Everyone should know you’re taken.” His gaze is intense, but there's still the softness of love to it, nothing like the unnerving, steely glare reserved for his enemies. “Everyone, including Churchill, should know you're mine, that Thomas Shelby, OBE, is a man who loves his wife passionately. He's no longer the fucking thug who dirtied his hands with whatever needed to be done, he's an MP who is uniquely capable of meeting the needs of his city, as much as those of his woman.” He adjusts the bowtie of his crisp tuxedo before whispering in her ear, “Now, if you forget about the mark and make polite conversation for a few short minutes, I'd be more than happy to fuck you in the car on the way home. I know you like that, love. I have very, very fond memories, as you do, to prove it. What do you say?”

She scoffs, but the flicker of desire in her eyes does not escape Tommy's notice. She might be a little embarrassed by the evidence of their time alone, but she never objects to feeling completely possessed by him.

“Fine. I'll play along.”

“That's my girl, he says, placing a hand on her lower back to usher her through the bedroom door. “Let's say goodbye to the children and go.”

[charmedreincarnation]

Heyy, I'm new on tumblr, even though I've been reading void blogs and success stories from chrome over the past few months but this is my first time actually getting tumblr. I've asked this to other bloggers but nobody seemed to reply, maybe they're on break but I don't really know since I'm new here. So I tried the secret subject sleep trigger and after it was over I woke up (as the person in the hypnosis directed me to) and laid on my bed absolutely motionless for about 15 minutes, my legs got sore since they were suspended from from the bed (the bed is a bit small) so I folded my legs while keeping my position same, then I remembered that I saw in a video about astral projection that you can visualize you have a rope hanging above you and feel that you're holding onto that rope and pulling yourself, so I did and it felt like I was actually pulling myself up and finally it felt like my legs were pulled up and once it happened, the thing I experienced after this was mind blowing, I WAS BLOWN. My earphones were still attached but there was no audio playing (since the sleep trigger hypnosis had already ended and my internet wasn't on) but I heard music for a very short while and after that I heard the audio which I previously heard in the mind awake body asleep binarual beats audio by phase evolution and some high pitched sounds occasionally, even tho anything wasn't playing. It felt like I was aggressively being pulled up and thrown down and my skin was being stretched vigorously and it also felt like my body was being tensed up and then back to normal and while this was happening I affirmed for the void, affirmations like 'I am in the void state rn' 'I always wake up in the void' 'Why do I always wake up in the void' such and such. After a while of this everything started to calm down so I thought I was in the void but as things started to calm down I could again slowly hear the background noises (like my mother talking and trees rustling) and again I was feeling how I felt when I laid motionless previously and then eventually my mother woke me up (even though I wasn't really asleep this whole time). I'm writing this long asf paragraph to ask you what actually happened when I experienced that because I am absolutely clueless, where I went wrong because I eventually couldn't enter the void and how I can improve or what I can do to succeed the next time (I'll be trying again tonight).

(I've asked this to quite a few bloggers but got no reply and I don't know if they're on break or if my question got sent)

Love youu and have a great day ahead 💕

There is a whole range of sleep states that negate out-of-body experiences and beyond, from MABA to the void and experiences in between like SATs, hypnagogia, sleep paralysis, the trance state, and etc. I can't tell you what was happening because I'm not you, and even if it was happening to me, I can't tell if I would know what was happening even if it was happening to me.

For everyone, it's very much a learning experience; there are still things that happen to me where I need to do research because it's very new! My mindset is just to affirm and hope for the best because even if it's not something you're aware of, it doesn't mean it can't help or you failed.

Just assume every new experience is an opportunity opening and just take it even if you don’t know what it is because there are things that happened to me in 2020 that I now realize, "Oh, I almost shifted. Oh, that was the void state. Oh, I was astral projecting," now in 2024. There’s a lot of potential in the the unknown and in the realm of OBEs it will benefit you to just assume the best and affirm lol I promise it will take you far

[gingerparker]

PULL ON MY THONG

Pairing: College!Peter Parker X Reader

Summary: Peter needs a vacation. So, naturally, he goes to Vegas during his summer break. He's thin on cash and finds a job at a water park! The hot girl behind the bikini bar is a great bonus to his biweekly paycheck.

Warning: Fluff, sexual tension, teasing, slight body worship, drinking (both reader and Peter are 21+)

Word Count: 7158

A/N: let's pretend this wasn't a summer writing challenge... life happened HARD for it to be posted now.. but i hope y'all enjoy anyway ajsjjs DISCLAIMER!! i know the hotel i used here doesn't have a water park but i was too lazy to use a real one sooo it's an invented one!

It's too warm as soon as Peter exits the airport. It's a sticky and dry kind of warmth, no wind of any kind can be felt around him. His small luggage feels like it weighs 5 tons more than it did mere seconds ago and he realizes how stupid it is to have worn dark clothes.

Travellers push past him to find a cab of any kind to get out of the intense heat. Families get into larger Ubers and some are crazy enough to be walking out. Peter is not that determined.

He has to shuffle through the crowd to find a free cab, they are being filled much quicker than he would have thought. Thank god for his faster pace.

Inside the car, he's blasted with cool air, the sweat on his forehead seemingly evaporating.

The drive to his hotel is smooth. He chugs the rest of his water bottle minutes into the ride. Queen's weather didn't prepare him for this.

In only a few minutes he's on the strip. Billboards of all kinds flash around the cab. It's day outside yet he feels blinded by the colourful lights. He sees half-naked men posing with tourists for money as well as showgirls doing the same. He doesn't let his eyes linger too long. The sidewalk is full of people; after all, it's tourist season.

A bright pink flamingo catches his eye, his hotel seemingly calling out to him! Come, Peter! There's some air con in me maybe you could go to my bar or even check out my casin-

"Sir!" he's startled by the harsh voice that calls him, the cab driver.

"Yes?"

"We're here? I've taken you to your hotel" he gestures to the building they are parked next to.

"Oh! How much do I owe you?"

-

"Y/N, I need you to do the night shift today! Bebe is stuck in St-George, you know how horrible the construction traffic is" Your boss, Xiomara, pleads over the phone. "And I can't come in I have an appointment with my OB"

"What about Charlize?" you ask.

Your phone is on speaker on your bed and you're already looking through the clean bikinis you have ready.

"I haven't been able to reach her, please please please!" she sounds so desperate that you laugh a little.

"Should I wear the blue holo set or go for the pink and red tie-dye one?" Mars squeals loudly, her voice cracks through the speaker on your phone.

"Tie-dye!! You're a lifesaver Y/N/N, I owe you"

"No worries babes, nothing exciting was happening with me tonight" You'll just have to reschedule your date with your vibrator for another day.

"I'll buy you breakfast on your next opening shift! Wait, that's tomorrow, oh god you're gonna be so tired. I can still try and reach Char-"

"Mars! Don't worry so much, keep it going and the baby will just shoot right out of you" you laugh as you pack your bag for the evening.

"I mean I wouldn't complain. I'm very much over pregnancy" she sighs and you only hum as an answer.

You both say your goodbyes and you're quickly doing a makeup look to match your uniform for the night.

Deep red lipstick, a thick black liner that frames your eyes just the way you like and a light amount of everything else. It heats up like crazy in the small bar so you don't want to be sweating it off in seconds. The finishing touch is some body shimmer, that's for the extra tips.

You live in a resort-like rental near the Vegas Strip. Your university funds top students from other states to live in these apartments. When you'd been accepted and offered to house you; you couldn't turn it down. Leaving New York was easy enough, your parents were always travelling for their jobs and your friends were leaving for other schools so it was an easy decision.

A big bonus was that it was only 10 minutes away by foot from your job in a hotel's adult pool.

You gathered all your things and made your way out.

Tuesday nights are the slowest nights. The restricted pool access you work in usually has a long cue to be let in but currently, there are only 5 people. 7 if you count the obviously underage girls that nervously fiddle with their fake IDS.

You've only made 50$ in tips so far which is pretty disheartening. Did you waste your best body shimmer for this?

After cleaning the bar for the third time in the last 10 minutes you give up pretending to be busy. Maybe you should make yourself a drink... A nice cranberry, vodka and watermelon purée slushy... You could even try the new bubblegum gin you received...

As you're trying to figure out what to mix the new alcohol with you spot a guy. A hot guy to be precise. He looks lost as he enters the area and pockets his wallet. His eyes are wide and they seem to be full of awe. First time in Vegas probably. His abs are what make your eyes follow him. For such a soft face the body he has is a pleasant surprise, muscles that don't look too bulky and that highlight the fact that he probably takes very good care of himself.

He looks like a Long Island ice tea type of guy, who likes alcohol but doesn't like tasting it all that much. You almost want to whistle at him or do anything to catch his eye.

He'd be a better date than your vibrator that's for sure.

-

It's Peter's fifth day in Las Vegas and he just learned about his hotel's private pool. They only let people 21 years old and older in. All he knew was that there was a small water park, and the kids' screaming could be heard throughout the day.

There are more palm trees to cover up this part of the hotel's grounds, giving more privacy to whatever happens here. There's a large DJ booth elevated at the end of the pool and at least 3 different bars. The DJ obviously pressed shuffle on a Spotify playlist and decided to scroll through his phone. The 3 bartenders he sees look bored out of their minds and are seemingly playing a card game. Only about 20 other guests are enjoying the privacy of this section.

He chooses to go buy himself a drink, there's nothing much to do besides that and swim right now.

Right as he's about to go and disturb the guys playing cards he sees a little hut next to the jacuzzi. It's pure white and only has a sign on the front where it's written "Cheeky Chicks" with a bright pink bikini painted on.

His brows furrow before he steps back to look inside.

His eyes widen and his breath hitches. There stands a girl. A half-naked girl. A very very pretty half-naked girl. A girl that's already looking at him. Peter's knees might just give out under him. A smirk forms on your lips when you realised cute hot chiselled guy noticed you. This is going to be so much fun.

"Hi," you say while leaning forward on your bar a little. The guy's face heats up instantly. Red creeps up his chest and onto his face. Peter is incredibly weak for pretty girls.

"Hi," he manages to breathe out.

"Come over here," you say with a wink. No one can tell you that you aren't good at your job.

Peter nods and makes his way over to her. His steps are quicker than he initially wanted, he did want to look cool and nonchalant. Too late now!

"What's your name?" you ask when he reaches your hut.

"Um... I'm not sure" his brain is screaming the answer at him but all he can hear is "her eyes are up there, her eyes are up there, her eyes ar-"

"Mh that's unfortunate, guess I'll have to stick with sexy stranger" your smirk grows when his tongue comes out to lick his lips.

"Right, um, I'm Peter?"

"You sure about that babes?" his eyes get as wide as saucers, nicknames are appreciated... You make a mental note of this.

"Peter Parker," he says "That's my name" he nods to himself. Probably feeling very proud that he's remembered it. God, he's adorable your practically melting.

"Hi Peter Parker, I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you hot stuff" You lean back to your normal position, he's been working very hard to keep his eyes in respectful eye contact.

"What can I get you, Pete?"

"Huh?"

"You walked up to my bar, don't you want a drink?" you gesture to all the alcohol you have around you.

"Oh! Um what's your favourite?" he looks at the numerous bottles around you.

"Anything turned into a slush" you answer honestly.

"Ok... Something with cherry?" he suggests with a tilt of his head. You nod and get to work.

If you mix your shaker more than usual who could fault you? It keeps his eyes on you as silence settles over. After adding a cherry and coconut slush to the alcohol mix you top it off with maraschino cherries and a bright pink swirly straw.

You hand it over to him, purposefully making contact with his hand. He takes a big sip and your stare falls to his neck. Thick but lean, muscular and so soft looking. He'd look so good with hickeys littered all over it. You could even trail some down, down, down... just under where his swimming trucks start. God, you really need to get off.

"So what do you think, babes?" you ask him as he brings his straw away from his lips. He nods excitedly as a smile spreads on his face. How can you want him to rearrange your insides and bake him a cake all at once?

"It's delicious! I can't even taste the alcohol you put in here" he nods seemingly approvingly and you smile smugly.

"That's how you know it's a dangerous drink" you wink, turning around to quickly put away the things you used to prepare Peter's drink.

"So how much do I owe you?" he takes his wallet out and opens it up with one hand.

Maybe this is your chance to be bold. Get a date out of this incredibly slow day?

"Mh it'll only cost you your phone number" you shrug with a smirk on your face. Peter sputters on the sip he'd taken and flushes from head to toe. He shakes his head quickly and puts down his cup.

"I have to pay you" he goes through the bills he has in his wallet, instantly paling. He counts them again to then meet your eyes anxiously. "Um, any luck this cost under 6$?" he laughs awkwardly taking out the six 1$ bill he had. You cringe and shake your head. Why must you go for the broke cutie? He sighs and shoves the bills into your tip jar.

"I'm sorry, my aunt always tells me to budget better but this trip has got me much shorter on cash than usual..." Peter puts his wallet away, already knowing it's best if leaves as fast as he can.

"How long are you staying in Vegas for?" your question surprises even yourself. You both expect to have him just walk away and forget this interaction happened... but alas you're incredibly weak.

"I don't know really... I bought a one-way ticket so... I'll probably try and get a ticket to leave at the end of summer" which is currently two and a half months away.

"And you already have no cash left??" you gasp. How is that even possible? "Do you have a job? Or a sugar daddy?" you add in a rushed tone, shocked at his quite reckless planning.

"Think I'd look good in a bikini?" he teases. Joking at a time like this? He might just be your soulmate.

"You'd look amazing in a bikini but this is a woman owed and woman run" You sigh dreamily at the thought of Peter in a bikini. New kink unlocked? Or are you just incredibly horny... "Although... one of the lifeguards at the water park quit! Maybe I could get a good word in for you" You start shutting off the lights in your little hut and locking up the coolers and stands around you.

"Now?" Peter exclaims. You ignore his shock and turn back to him. You spot his unfinished slushy and hand it back to him.

"Drink it at least, I'm not doing charity for you not to enjoy it" you tease him before making your way out, locking the side door and hanging up the "Closed" sign.

"Oh and I'm still expecting your phone number"

-

That's how Peter Parker got himself a job at his hotel's water park. The man running it barely asked him what his name was before he was hired. They made sure that he had the right certification for a lifeguard job and the next day he was on the schedule. Well, they wrote him in with a Sharpie and they spelt his name wrong but he had a job!

The kids were... tolerable, the pay was ok and the conditions were bearable. His favourite part, however, is the hottie that always put extra cherries on his alcoholic slushes.

It's been three weeks now since he was able to pay back the first one, and it's also been three weeks since you've exchanged numbers.

You've been texting back and forth like crazy. Just facts about your days when you aren't working at the same time or you even like to have him pick out your bikini. He gets exceptionally shy and takes forever to answer but, surprisingly, he's got impeccable taste. Peter knows it's because of how attracted to you he is. Getting to know you has only deepened how doomed he is, how quickly his feelings have shifted from plain lust.

"So you haven't fucked yet?" Ned's voice is loud out of his phone speaker and it scares the shit out of Peter. He's on his lunch break and it's his weekly bro date with Ned. They have lately been full of your name.

"No, women and men can be friends. You know this" Peter knows full well that he'd ditch the friendship in a heartbeat for something more. He'll keep this act up tho, more gentlemanly... right?

"Not when they obviously wanna bone Pete... You're telling me not even a steamy make-out session?" Peter is glad they decided not to FaceTime because he knows what face Ned would be making right now and he doesn't want to see it.

"No" He wishes. He wishes so badly. Like it's actually starting to concern him how much he just wants you to sit on his lap, put your hands in his hair, maybe pull a little, definitely call him babes like you alw- See? He's going insane.

"That's sad Petey, get a move on! If Y/N is as hot as you say then you can't waste any time!" Ned's voice is so diplomatic it's weird but comforting.

"Oh. My. God. Babes you talk about me?" your chipper voice almost startles Peter off his seat and onto the suspiciously green floors.

Peter looks at you with a terrified expression on his face, like you've caught him mid-murder. Damn, his Peter Tingle for not warning him of your arrival!

"Is that her? Y/N! PETER WANTS TO FU-"

His phone is thrown across the room at record-breaking speed, destroying it. You barely seem surprised.

The silence that takes over the room gives Peter time to look you over. What you're wearing today has to be lingerie... just enough is left to the imagination and it's hypnotising. The way the slightest movement makes you look, the up and down of your chest as you breathe, how you look walking closer to him. Wait, walking closer??

His eyes snap up to meet yours as you walk over to him.

"Take me out tonight" You lean down to his eye level. The eye contact you hold is intense. So much is communicated through facial expressions. Peter's mind repeats your statement over and over, making sure he actually heard the right thing.

"Where?"

"Anywhere near an Apple Store so we can get you a new phone" you wink.

-

Smoking hot date, check.

Carefully picked out outfit, check.

Cute but comfortable makeup, check.

Get Peter a new phone before the date actually starts, check.

You and Peter are now slowly making your way down the Vegas Strip. With the ending goal in mind to find someplace interesting to eat. You walked past many many different restaurants but nothing that made you stop walking.

Peter's hand holds yours loosely, the hot weather unsuitable for real hand-holding. He's wearing a light pink shirt with flamingos and flowers patterned around it, obviously, he hadn't packed a "date shirt" before leaving New York and bought it at his hotel. His legs are barely hidden away by his short jeans short that have numerous rips in them... God you want to bite his thighs.

"You're staring at my legs again" You can hear him smirking through the tone of his voice.

"Oh shut up!" you knock your shoulder onto his arm with a laugh.

"It's fine this most likely compensates for the number of times I've at your boobs... or your ass... or anything really when you have a bikini on" he gestures with his free hand to you. Most likely visualising a bikini on you now.

"Mh, that's true... I'll keep staring then!" you smile proudly winking at him. His face and neck flush pink as he ducks his head. He's so fun to tease always so responsive.

Conversation is easy. It always is. Your personalities mesh together perfectly which makes hanging out with him so fun.

This being more officially a date has put weight on both of your shoulders. Somehow, it's made a sliver of anxiety surround the both of you. It must mean you both want this date to go well; to have many more after.

"Oh! How about hot dogs?" Peter points to a small restaurant to his left.

"Those are probably, like funky hot dogs... I'm down, let's go!" you tug him towards Haute Doggery.

You're both greeted by a woman behind the counter when you walk in. The place is small, with four two-person tables and a high counter along one of the only bare walls. That said it's cosy and inviting so you're immediately excited.

"Wow! A foot-long hog dog??" Peter gasps as he reads the menu. You giggle at his reaction now reading the menu yourself. So many options to choose from... "Want to share two regular-sized speciality ones?"

"Only if we get fries" you nod seriously, now choosing a hot dog to share with him.

"I definitely want to try the mac and cheese one" Peter looks away from the menu to meet your eyes.

"Good choice! I saw we get that one and the breakfast one, I can never say no to hash browns"

Once you receive your order you make your way to one of the tables, ready to absolutely dig in. Peter takes the time to precisely cut in half both hot dogs and gives you your pieces.

"Cheers!" you say knocking your half with his before taking a generous bite of the breakfast delight.

-

"So this is my room!" Peter shuffles inside his hotel room before holding the door open for you.

The room is nothing crazy. One queen bed in. the middle, a dresser with a tv on top of it, grey carpet flooring, pinkish walls, a bathroom and a balcony overlooking the pools and the waterpark.

You make your way over to his freshly made bed: thank you housekeeping. You sit down on it beckoning Peter over to you. He toes off his shoes in a hurry before practically lunging at the spot next to you. Cute.

"Had fun, cutie?" you look at him with seductive eyes and a warm smile. You want him to be putty in your hands.

Peter reacts immediately to the name you call him, blushing and wide-eyed.

"Yeah, you're easy to talk to and really sex- I mean smart. Really smart." his words seem to be tumbling out of his mouth in a panic.

"Babes, calm down!! You can compliment me. Physically too" you smack his chest feeling the firm muscle of his peck.

He only nods as an answer but keeps his eyes locked with yours. You're the one to break the eye contact to glance at his lips. You want to kiss him so bad...

"Can I kiss you?" Peter might be a mind reader.

"Please" is what you answer.

Kissing Peter is immediately addicting. He's so enthusiastic, kisses like his life depends on it. His left hand goes to your back and his right cradles your jaw. Your own move around his body. Gripping his muscles, tangling in his hair, slipping under his shirt. You're having a great time exploring his body.

You bite his bottom lip playfully, tugging it towards you and it makes Peter moan in delight.

"You're so hot, I'm going insane" he mumbles between desperate kisses.

You only hum in answer wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down above you. His body is so warm against yours like he's on fire. You tug off his shirt, to help him cool down is what you tell yourself.

"I know I see you without a shirt more than with one but this is so much sexier" you trail your fingers all. over. him.

Peter turns you onto your side to unzip your romper. His lips never leave yours, the contact staying feverish and fast. It's like he wants to eat you whole. Maybe he does, you'd let him.

The shrill sound of your ringtone startles you, causing you to knock your chin into Peter's nose as you look up.

He groans as you reach to silence the (incredibly rude) device. Unfortunately, your index has other plans and presses the accept call button.

"Y/N?" Xiomara... This can only mean bad news.

"I know you're on a date and I'm so incredibly sorry to be doing this. I just went into labour and you're literally in the hotel somewhere..." Her voice is strained and you breathe out in exasperation.

Peter's head drops into the crook of your neck. His hands don't start roaming, they travel, map your body out. Every single inch of skin he can reach. Inside the romper, your face, legs, arms... Anything and everything.

"I... I don't have a bikini" you manage to say.

"I really don't care what you wear. Actually, you know what I don't care about the bar right now never mind" She hangs up immediately.

"Thank fuck for that" Peter exclaims dragging the rest of your romper off.

You laugh as he readily gets back to what he was doing. His lips on yours, guided your hands into his hair and hips bucking into yours.

Yeah, this is so much better than taking over "Cheeky Chicks" for the evening.

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (04)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, the word "dick" is mentioned a few times lol, jeon jungkook (yes, bc at this point he's annoying even to me), yoongi is a menace, oc is fighting with everybody asdfgjkl girl 🙄, inaccuracies about music making !! and i hope obs readers aren't music majors bc that'd be really embarrassing for me lol, idk i think that's it

rating: PG-15

word count: 16.3k

note: a major thank you to @daechwitatamic for beta-ing this for me and for doing it so fast!!, you are a gem ily jo 🥺🥰 aaaaaand omg yeah! i can't believe the duck is here. he's finally here!!! ah we love to see it hehehehe :') it feels fitting that obs4 is the one to close off 2022 <3

series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Ask your new lover what it's like to be given A real fighting chance before you wish her, "Good riddance,” Did anything ever really count Or was I just a two-year practice round?

Before - NIKI

Ah, the grand opening of Jimin’s own dance studio. It’s been in the works for a while now, ever since he quit his job as an instructor at that fancy academy downtown. 

When you arrive at the venue, the event is already in full swing. You would’ve come sooner, to see Jimin before things get too hectic and more people would want to steal him away to say their congratulations. You could’ve come sooner, had you accepted Jungkook’s offer to drive the both of you here. It’s the less time-consuming option, and one that’s more environmentally conscious, but you didn’t want to be left alone with Jungkook – not after what Namjoon had unintentionally revealed to you – in a space where you couldn’t force him to just talk about work while Jimin went to mingle with his guests, and Taehyung couldn’t get off work any earlier than 6:30.

You have to hand it to Jimin. He really went all out for this. The venue he booked looks amazing, and so much bigger than you expected, but that’s probably to accommodate the shit ton of people he invited tonight. There’s catering, cutesy party favors, and most importantly, an open bar that you absolutely would die for. Bless Jimin and his excessive spending heart.

Although, the photographer that he got for tonight can’t exactly be considered great. He looks young, maybe early 20s and still hasn’t learned how to lose the attitude yet, just walking around with his hefty camera and looking like he has a stick up his ass. He’s definitely being underpaid. Jimin must not have taken this factor into account until he had already exceeded his budget.

“Oh, Jiminie,” you mutter to yourself like a mom whose child just won the school talent show, making a beeline for Jimin and pulling him into a hug, not caring that he’s holding a flute of champagne that could’ve easily spilled onto you. “Jiminie, I’m so proud of you. I know how hard you’ve worked, and you deserve this so much. I love you. You’re going to be amazing.”

Every single syllable that slips from your lips is genuine. You’ve seen how passionate Jimin is, and you know how long this has been a dream of his. In your eyes, he deserves the absolute world and more.

You kiss his cheek to emphasize the meaning behind your words. You’ve never been the sentimental type with your friends except for rare occasions like these. On birthdays, you're not the one to shoot them the first happy birthday! text at 12AM on the dot, nor are you the one to plan surprise parties and go all out on extravagant presents.

You have your own way of showing your friends that you love them without any grand, tacky gestures. You like to think that you’re a good friend, and you hope they think that too.

But… you feel guilty today. You feel guilty for even toying with the idea of not going just because you didn’t want to face Jungkook in a setting that wasn’t the studio. When Taehyung asked if you had gotten the invite and you couldn’t confirm your attendance right away, he looked at you like you were out of your mind. He looked at you like Why wasn’t dropping every single one of your plans not the first thought that comes to mind when you received the text. Because this is Jimin you’re talking about. One of your closest friends. The incredulousness on Taehyung’s face that night made you feel small because really, you were being selfish.

After the breakup, you repeatedly assured Taehyung that he should still be friends with Jungkook, though the petty part of your brain wanted nothing more than to have Taehyung cut off all ties with your ex and tell him to go shove it.

If you weren’t in the picture, they still would’ve bonded the way they did and developed that kind of brotherly connection. Just because you and Taehyung were closer doesn’t mean that he and Jungkook weren’t close. They were close throughout college, and it had nothing to do with the fact that one was your best friend and the other was your boyfriend. That’s why you weren’t particularly fond of making Taehyung lose someone he considered family, even if that man did stomp on your heart to hell and back.

You just had to make it crystal clear to Taehyung – and Jimin by extension – to not put you and Jungkook in the same place ever again.

And that’s exactly what Taehyung and Jimin have been doing these past few years. Birthday parties, nights out and celebratory dinners multiplied by two to keep you and Jungkook separate. It was like you were strangers who never knew each other existed. Different worlds that can’t ever collide. You all got used to this certain arrangement. It works out for everybody: You don’t have to see your ex, and Jimin and Taehyung get to keep their friend. If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

The barrier that you forced between you and him worked, but sadly it did put a strain on Taehyung and Jimin’s wallets. You were always a group of five though, until Hoseok moved abroad the very week before college ended. He didn’t even attend graduation. That summer, you weren’t the only one left heartbroken. Hoseok’s parents had turned a 180 and decided to make him pursue another degree to take over the family business instead of continuing to let him follow his dreams, which have always been music and dancing. When he broke the news, you all gathered around and cried together. You were beyond upset for him; you knew how Hoseok shined the brightest when he got to do what he loved.

Since then, he only comes back a couple of times a year. Every time, you would all try and make the most of it, wanting to relive those college days that you cherished so much. But during each of these visits, there is always something bittersweet that you think you all could feel. Because Hoseok wasn’t a constant in your lives anymore. The five of you were thick as thieves. You were there for each other through every high and every low. It’s somber to think that you will never have that ever again.

Hoseok wasn’t there to personally witness what the breakup did to you, but you were certain that he knew about it. Taehyung and Jimin must have told him at some point. You don’t think you’ve ever had a proper conversation with Hoseok about how your relationship with Jungkook ended. He only visits as seldom as it is. You don’t want to spend every reunion wallowing in misery, or make everything about your baggage when everyone has their own shit to deal with.

“Shit, Y/N, why are you being sappy?” Jimin mutters as he blinks at you, eyes glassy, all shy and adorable when he sniffles. “You’re gonna make me cry.”

It isn’t until then that you notice Jungkook standing next to Jimin, having watched the whole interaction with an identical champagne glass in his hand and a small smile on his face.

“Hi,” he says, even though it has only been a couple of hours since you last saw each other. 

You send him a nod, merely to acknowledge his presence. Taehyung pulls Jimin into a hug of his own too, swaying him from side to side like they’re in their own little world. 

You can feel Jungkook’s gaze on the side of your face but you keep your eyes trained on Taehyung’s back, watching your two friends be dramatic and goofy and happy.

When you deem that they’ve had their fun, you tug Taehyung back by his jacket. “Okay, that’s enough, lovebirds. You’re acting like you don’t see each other every other day. Stop being so clingy.”

“No!” Jimin swats your hand away but lets his friend go regardless. He’s smiling so big that his eyes have turned into narrow slits, pearly whites on full display, cute pinchable cheeks turned rosy from the champagne and euphoria. “Do I look weird? I feel like I look weird. I can’t stop smiling.”

“You don’t look weird,” you say, booping his nose affectionately then ruffling his head of blond hair. “You look perfect.”

Jimin blushes, which makes him even cuter. Then his eyes light up when he spots someone behind you. His hand shoots up to wave the person over to your table as he calls, “Hobi hyung!”

Hobi– what?

You and Taehyung turn around, four eyes flying wide open.

Slapping a hand to Taehyung’s chest, you gasp. “Holy shit. Did you know about this?!”

“No! I’m as shocked as you are!”

Hoseok skips the pleasantries. He just grins brightly and yanks you and Taehyung into him, crushing you two in his hug as he shakes you enthusiastically. When he lets go, he kisses both of your cheeks. He diverts his attention to Jungkook then, yelling out Jaykay! so loudly that people turn to look. He does the same thing to Jungkook as he did to you, enveloping the younger man in a very Hoseok-esque embrace.

“Hobi!” you squeal, completely overjoyed. Taehyung looks about the same as you, the two of you practically bouncing like golden retrievers. “Why didn’t you tell us you were going to be here?”

Hoseok shares a look with Jimin, and they both break out into a fit of giggles. “Obviously I wasn’t going to miss tonight,” he says. “But I’m disappointed in you, Y/N. You should’ve surprised Jimin with me, not the other way around.”

“Wha– Jung Hoseok, you blocked me last month after I sent you that jumpscare video.”

“Oh, right,” he laughs. “In any case, it’s always so good to see all of you simp over me every time I come home.”

“Hobi, I implore you to stop saying ‘simp’ as a grown ass man.”

“Y/N, this grown ass man implores you to stop calling him Hobi.”

It isn’t until now that you start to relax more. Everything feels so much simpler now that Hoseok is here and all of you are together. Catching up with him, you’re always enraptured to hear the stories he has to tell. Even if it’s brief and the bubble has to eventually burst, he never fails to give you that odd sense of peace you’ve been craving since you got older. Hoseok has a way of making time stretch on forever, in a good way. 

At one point, he stops talking, noticing something out of place. “Oh? You two…” he gestures between you and Jungkook, and the conversation seems to end here because even Hoseok doesn’t know what to say or what to ask. Clearly Taehyung and Jimin haven’t been doing a very good job at keeping him up to date. Then things just start getting kinda awkward again.

You feel partly to blame. After all, you’re one of the two people making this weird for everybody.

For most of the night, you manage to avoid talking to Jungkook. It’s not that difficult really, with Taehyung practically gluing himself to your side (per your request) and catching up with Hoseok, Jungkook could hardly get a word in with you.

You pat Taehyung on the cheek. “Thanks for sticking with me,” you tell him.

“Of course,” he says. “And y’know, it’s not like you really gave me a choice.”

Your hand that’s still on his cheek goes to pinch it. His cheek is so squishy, it feels like you’re kneading dough. You can’t help but squeeze your fingers a little harder.

“Ah! Okay!” he squeaks out. “Sorry!”

You giggle at his frowny face before giving him another affectionate pat. “Seriously, can you imagine Jungkook seeing me drunk without you to hold me back? That’s one of my worst nightmares.”

Taehyung bites his tongue, remembering the night he had put Jimin on pick up duty and Jungkook had tagged along. Taehyung even recalls the morning after, when he was walking on eggshells around you, trying to figure out if your memory would serve you. When he was positive that it didn’t, he had to thank the heavens for letting him live to see another day.

Because if you ever find out, oh you would kill him. You would knock him to the ground and strangle him with your bare hands. He’s absolutely certain that you would. Knowingly letting your friend’s ex see her absolutely shitfaced and crying over said ex? Now that is heinous.

“Hold this,” Taehyung says now that it’s just the two of you, handing you his glass of whiskey. Hoseok got pulled somewhere so Jimin could introduce him to some of his staff, and Jungkook is… well, you have no idea where he is. “I have to pee.”

“What, now?”

“No, two hours from now. I’m just announcing it in advance,” Taehyung deadpans. “Yes, now!”

“I literally just thanked you.” You glare up at him. He starts to get sassy a couple of drinks in. “I’ll come with you.”

“What, to the men’s bathroom? Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I don’t even see Jungkook anywhere. He’s probably mingling. C’mon, I’ll be gone two minutes, tops, okay?”

“No, no, no, wait–!” Aaand he’s already jogging away. Great.

You sigh, take a sip of Taehyung’s drink and immediately grimace. You really don’t like whiskey. You find an empty table nearby to put the glass down and loiter. To anyone, you must look like you’ve got a bad case of social anxiety, standing alone and fidgeting like that, but no, what you have is Jungkook anxiety. 

As you keep your head down and pull out your phone to make it seem like you actually have something to do instead of waiting for your friend to return from the bathroom, your head bobs gently to the faint music coming from the speakers. Peace lasts for about thirty seconds. You turn to look when someone nudges your shoulder.

“You look beautiful,” Jungkook tells you with a smile that almost blinds you. You have to admit, he’s so handsome tonight, and it’s part of why you’ve been avoiding looking at him since you got here.

You glance down at your outfit. You tend to dress more casually at the studio, but today, you wanted to up the ante a little bit for Jimin. It’s nothing fancy, just a smidge more put-together than what you usually go for. Knee-high boots, a black skirt, a cozy sweater and your favorite winter coat. Actually put on some blush for once  to top it all off.

“I’ve looked like this since the morning.”

“I know,” he says. “I’ve been wanting to say it all day.”

It’s the compliment, the sparkling eyes and the soft, warm smile making your face heat up. You bite the inside of your cheek, urging yourself to snap out of it.

The strategy is to deflect. You practically shove your phone in his face with the Gmail app open, making him squint in reflex at the sudden brightness assaulting his eyes. “So Namjoon just sent me this–”

Jungkook takes a step back and brushes your hand away. “Honestly, if it’s fine with you, can we not talk about work?” he chuckles as he says this. “I just got out of the studio. I’d rather not think about it for a minute.”

So it would appear that deflecting is not a viable option.

“Oh, okay.” You nod slowly, putting your phone back into your bag. You are so awkward, and too sober for this, and desperately need your Taehyung-shaped buffer. “Uhm, so… what now?”

Jungkook gives you a quiet chuckle, trying to go over this as nonchalantly as possible. “Friends can talk about things. I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Your brows furrow slightly as you recall what you told Seokjin before. Friends… Jungkook still doesn’t seem to know the definition of the word. Does he think you meant it? That you were actually friends now? He can’t be that fucking dense, can he? When he came knocking at your door not that long ago, has he forgotten that look in your eyes and the door closing in his face when he uttered this exact word to you?

From the start, Jungkook was never your friend.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to do this at the studio and I didn’t want to do it here, today, Jimin’s big day, but I have to ask. What are you doing?”

He blinks, seemingly confused, and it prompts you to continue.

“What is this? What am I supposed to talk about with you if it’s not work?” you say slowly. “You know I was just saying that to not make things awkward for Seokjin and Namjoon, right?” Too slowly, like he’s stupid and you need to enunciate every syllable. You can’t help it.

Jungkook puts his champagne glass on the table. He looks a little lost, and it’s clear that this is a turn that neither of you expected. See, you think, wishing Taehyung would come back right this second to witness this, This is why I need to drink.

“What happened? I thought we were doing fine.”

He took the words right out your mouth, only a few years too late.

Is he serious? He really is that dense?

Your mouth falls open, trying to gauge if you are actually on the same topic, or if you’re even speaking the same language. It can’t be more painfully obvious that you two have been living completely different realities.

“You happened,” you snap, amazed by the fact that you even have to tell him.

You stop short of saying: Fuck you. You unraveled my life like a hurricane and now I have to be the one to remind you of it? You wanted nothing to do with me the last five years and now you’re trying to get me all to yourself?

You can’t help the next question that slips out either. Blame the small part of you that’s been dying to know this since you found out the news from Namjoon. “Why would you think that we’d be fine? Who do you think I am to you?”

Jungkook’s lips part but he doesn’t say anything for nearly half a minute. His face falls just a tad, and you don’t really know what to make of that. His eyes glimmer under the lights. With what, you can’t know for certain. It must be shame. Is it possible that there’s guilt swimming in those irises? Underneath the surface of those brown eyes, is it too much to ask that there be some regret too?

You think the question nicked him somewhere you can’t see. Call it wishful thinking, but you hope it’s the same place that he has always cut into you.

Bleed. Bleed like you made me bleed.

Finally, he says, “You’re…”

Then, Jimin practically shouts into a mic that he has procured somewhere. Wonderful timing, blondie.

“Can everyone gather at the front for a group photo please? I’m going to hang it on the wall!”

You don’t know if you should be frustrated or grateful for the interruption. That void that you used to fill with anger and resentment is now bubbling with something else. No matter how hard you try to swallow it all down, you know it won’t stop until you overflow, until you’re swallowed whole by that grief again. You feel foolish. Cheap. Hard to love, hard to keep. He meant the world to you but to him, turns out you were merely replaceable.

You turn away from Jungkook in favor of another chaos. In the midst of the grand Park family – Jimin’s many cousins, bubbly nieces and nephews who all want to be in the center of the photo – you get pushed to the side. There’s too many people here. It’ll probably end up looking like one of those company pictures where at least half the people have their eyes closed and the other half look like they can’t wait to get out of there. You don’t know where Taehyung is, if he’s even back from the bathroom. You’re so tired. So drained, all of a sudden. You miss your bed and your comfy pillows and your warm fluffy blanket. You want to sink into it and melt like a piece of marshmallow on hot chocolate.

You stand there awkwardly on the very edge, aware of Jungkook loitering a couple of steps from you as you both wait for people to make up their mind on where to stand. You can tell that the photographer is getting frustrated when he finally steps in to guide the older people when they start looking like buffering Sims. You don’t even know where Jimin and Hoseok are either.

“Okay, is everyone ready?” the photographer asks, his voice unamused as he raises the camera to look through the viewfinder. He doesn’t even wait for any confirmation and just starts counting down. No doubt about it, Jimin is definitely underpaying this guy. “Three, two, o– Wait. You on the left. No, my left. Yes, you, guy in the black coat. Could you stand closer? You’re almost out of the frame.”

Jungkook – “guy in the black coat” – shuffles closer until you can smell his familiar cologne over the overwhelming floral scent radiating off the woman next to you. He moves until the photographer gives his nod of approval, until your arms touch. It makes you nervous, even through the layers of clothes. What was he going to say? What did you want him to say? What could be a good enough answer?

You all smile as the camera clicks a few times. You might’ve had your eyes closed in one of the shots. Seriously, you have to make Jimin show you the picture before he commemorates his wall with it. If you have to be immortalized on a wall next to your ex, then at least you should look good.

Everybody disperses after that; some going to bid Jimin goodbye as they end the night and go home, some returning to their previously established groups to chat some more. You feel like now is probably a good time to leave.

You move to go find Taehyung, but someone stops you. A warm hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you back. You glance at where Jungkook’s skin touches yours, then your eyes flicker up to meet his. They don’t let you move, and neither do the words he says next. His face is softer than you’ve witnessed in a while. No teasing, no bravado. Just honesty.

“You’re someone important to me.”

Oof. Two strikes in one night.

It makes you angry for some reason – his honesty. Because it really looks like he believes it to be true.

This is the last thing you wanted, fighting when you’re supposed to be celebrating Jimin, but you suppose it’s happening. “I can’t tell if you mean it or if you’re just playing with me,” you say.

Jungkook pales a shade as you stare at him with hard eyes.

“I do mean it,” he says. He looks down at your hand, his fingers on your wrist twitching. 

“If that were really the case, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” you tell him. “If I were really important to you, you wouldn’t have screwed me over like that. If I were really important, you wouldn’t be here right now, acting like I’m something you can throw away whenever you feel like it, and pick back up like nothing ever happened. You know, I was starting to be okay. I was starting to get used to it and you just had to come waltzing back into my life. Do you know how important this is to me? That this is my dream I get to live but I’m just trying to survive it and never have to see you again? Why can’t you just– Fuck.”

You choke on the last of it, knowing that if you keep going, you will cry, and your pride won’t let you break down in front of your friends and strangers alike. In front of Jungkook. You count each breath in your head to steady yourself until your lungs feel less like they’re going to burn out of oxygen. 

You’re surprised that you were able to say that without much liquid courage. You’re glad that you’re standing near the corner of the room where nobody is really paying attention to you. Jungkook lets go of your wrist, visibly gulping as he does so. It feels like there’s an entire orchestra in here – people talking, music playing, all echoing around the room – and you suppose you’re thankful for that. He can’t hear your heart screaming over the noises. If you weren’t sure if he was feeling ashamed before, then you’re sure now. He should be ashamed, for everything he put you through. If you could, you would give it back to him ten times worse.

Quietly, Jungkook says, “I’m sorry,” and then nothing else.

You swear you can hear a clock go tick, tock, tick, tock… The passage of time is so palpable, like something you can hold in your hands. Minutes upon minutes, hours upon hours, days upon days - they sit in the palm of your hands but amount to nothing at all. They slip through your fingers again. Nothing is guaranteed, you realize belatedly then, certainly not closure. You’re never going to get it right. He’s always going to blindside you.

And no matter how hard you try to keep him at bay, he’s always going to get under your skin.

Stop slipping. Stop slipping. Stop slipping.

“Huh,” you mutter to yourself, bitterly, confusedly, amusedly, “I thought that would feel better.”

“What?” he asks.

“Hearing you say sorry. Did you know that you never said sorry to me?”

“It’s not– I–” he stutters. How could he possibly object to that? It’s the truth. It’s the absolute and pathetic truth. He leaves the sentence unfinished like the history of the two of you, half written until he decided that he was done with it. Time would not tell the rest, and all you were left with were blank pages that no one could fill. “I’m sorry,” he ends up saying again, as if repeating it would make the words have more gravity. If that is his intention then you suppose he succeeds, because it makes your heart heavier.

“I’m trying to do right by you.”

You consider it for a second. When you turn away, you find Taehyung across the room, already looking at you, though you don’t think he can hear anything from where he’s standing. Your friend has ‘worried’ written all over his face.

“Are you trying to do right by me? Or by you?” you ask, and then something starts to sink in. You spent so much time thinking about it, wondering where everything went wrong. Going around in circles, dwelling, trying to put together puzzle pieces that just won’t fit. That’s time that you can never get back. You’ve always known that at some point, you would have to let it all go. Maybe now is that point. Let go of things that you have no control over. You’re only burning yourself by holding on. Isn’t it better to let it scar than to keep picking at the wound and making it bleed? “Actually, it doesn’t even matter anymore. What’s the point? I’ve come to terms with it. You can do whatever you want to feel better. Just do it by yourself. Don’t use me.”

Jungkook frowns. “I’m not using you.”

You manage to suppress the urge to scoff. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing? Thinking you could come back and sweet talk me and then you’d be absolved just like that?”

“I know you must hate me,” he says. “...for everything.”

“I do.” No fucking shit. “If you know that, then why are you doing this?” Don’t push it, your brain says, but the way he’s staring at the ground, unable to meet your eyes, looking like a puppy you just kicked makes you annoyed. “Did you know that the first time I ever saw you, I hated you?” you ask, making his eyes flit up to yours. “I wish we could’ve left it at that.”

When his face flashes with hurt, you almost feel bad even though you wished for this. His jaw clenches as you walk away, leaving him there by himself.

“Wanna head home?” Taehyung asks before you have to even say anything. He regards you with soft and apologetic eyes, with a gentle hand on your arm and concern still etched onto his features. Taehyung is a warm summer’s breeze compared to the desolate winter that Jungkook has made of you. You answer with a simple nod.

“Wait for me by the car. I’ll say bye to Jimin and be right out,” Taehyung tells you.

“Okay.”

He puts an arm around your shoulder and squeezes you once. “Sorry about that by the way… There was a line for the bathroom.”

Monday comes too soon.

You have to face Jungkook again too soon.

“Unclench your butt.”

You snap your head to the sound of Yoongi’s voice right next to your ear. His tone is teasing, and his face even more so. The man’s got way too much energy for 9 in the morning.

“Excuse me?” you grumble. You’ve been standing outside the studio for almost ten minutes now, letting your nerves eat away at you because you know Jungkook is already here. You saw his car earlier. 

“Your butt,” your friend says. “It’s too clenched.”

“You were looking at my butt?” You give him a disapproving look.

“Only because you look like you’re trying to hold in a shit.” Yoongi shrugs indifferently. “Why are you standing out here anyway?”

Your fingers twitch around the strap of your bag as you try to give him a nonchalant answer. “Trying to manifest the death of capitalism before you interrupted me.”

“Mhmm,” he says, eyeing you suspiciously like a distrusting cat. “Spill. What happened?”

“What happened with what?”

“I know you went to your friend’s thing on Friday. And I know Jungkook was there too. So what happened?”

You debate whether or not you should tell Yoongi. It’s not like you have anything to hide; he already knows about your history anyway. But he’s been the most insufferable toward Jungkook in the short time that he’s been here, and giving him the goss on your little conversation the other day would only give him another reason to be an even bigger menace. You bite your tongue, and put on the most neutral expression you can manage.

“Nothing happened,” you say. “You’re being nosy, Min.”

You push open the door to be greeted by an incredibly cheerful Seokjin and Namjoon. Why is everyone so bubbly on a Monday morning? Have they always been like this, or do you just feel like everything coming out of their mouths is sunshine and rainbows compared to the black cloud hovering over your head?

Seems like you aren’t the only one dreading the new week though. Jungkook visibly stiffens as you enter, completely devoid of that easy-going smile he always greets you with. “Hey,” he tells you.

“Morning,” you reply. To him, to Seokjin, to Namjoon. You take a seat at your usual corner, setting down your bag and pulling out your pen and notebook. 

Seokjin launches into conversation with Yoongi about a basketball game. Apparently there was one last night, but you don’t really care about that. Namjoon doesn’t seem to have much interest in the topic either, choosing to weigh in with an occasional hum here and there to be polite.

Like you, Jungkook is quiet. He knows enough about basketball to hold a conversation but you know it’s never been his favorite thing in the world. Normally though, even if he isn’t particularly knowledgeable in the matter at hand, he would still act like he’s genuinely absorbed in whatever everyone was talking about, just to be friendly and sociable. He was always very good at networking; that’s why people loved him in college. From what you’ve seen, that trait carried over into adulthood as well. 

From the corner of your eye, you could see Jungkook fidget in his chair. He turns his head every once in a while to glance at you, which doesn’t go unnoticed by you, nor Yoongi for that matter. Yoongi nudges your knee with his own, prompting a curious look from you. He leans closer to your ear and lowers his voice so that nobody can hear.

“Jungkook looks like his butt is pretty clenched too.”

Your grip on the pen loosens as you swirl it around absentmindedly, humming to yourself the melody off the page as if it’ll summon words to the sheet, where it’s mostly blank beneath all the squiggly music notes. The men – with the exception of Namjoon; he’s out for the day – gather around, discussing the first demo track. You drown most of it out. Your job here isn’t to wring out the kinks with the technical aspects anyway.

“We could record something for the rough demo today,” Yoongi thinks out loud.

“Today?” Jungkook asks as he arches an eyebrow. “For what track? We don’t have a single thing completely finished yet?”

“Buddy, are you a glass half empty kind of guy?” Yoongi jokes. “From what I see, we have at least four tracks halfway done. That’s enough for us to record.”

The younger man leans back in his chair and crosses his arms in front of his chest, highly annoyed but he still tries to keep a straight face and an even voice. It’s his first big project, and this fucking person is coming in and stepping all over his toes. To Jungkook, Yoongi is just some guy. He has never understood what the hype was about with Agust D, why he has always been a massive media darling and why everybody seems so enamored with him. Seokjin talks about him like Jungkook should feel so privileged to have the opportunity to work with such talent. Namjoon, his own freaking mentor, practically idolizes Yoongi. He almost passed out from glee when he heard that Yoongi would be coming on board. Even when the label was trying to get the rapper to sign with them, Jungkook never got what all the fuss was about.

It’s almost frustrating to watch people around him fawn over Yoongi like he hangs the moon in the sky. If you feel the same way about him, you don’t let it show, but Jungkook can tell that you admire and respect the guy a lot. He just can’t figure out what the deal is between you and Yoongi. Something is there. If not from your side then definitely from Yoongi’s. He seems too protective of you. Taehyung is the same way, and so are Jimin and Hoseok, but with them, Jungkook understands. They’ve been friends with you since forever, and he can’t imagine that your friendship with Yoongi can ever be that special.

“I disagree,” Jungkook asserts. “It’s a waste of time to make a demo now when we’d have to do it all over again later. At this point, all we’ll get is scraps. It wouldn’t help us get anywhere.”

Yoongi glances at Seokjin, who’s been watching but not really contributing, and they both share a look. It makes Jungkook want to get more fired up because he is supposed to be in charge here, but Yoongi is clearly more in tune with what Seokjin wants and how he operates. Jungkook will be the first one to say that he is not the best team player, but at least he tries. It usually works out just fine in the end, once he can get his ego out of the way to actually get something done, but this time it’s proving to be quite the challenge when it seems like Yoongi is constantly trying to hinder him.

“Jungkook, look.” Even the way he says his name is irritating. “I’ve been doing this way longer than you have, buddy. I was a producer before I became a rapper. I think I know what I’m doing here.”

“And I see why you would think this is a good idea, but I’m saying it’s a waste of time and effort to do this when we’ll just have to redo the whole process later. You want a summer release. We don’t have the time, and do we even have enough budget–”

Yoongi tilts his head to one side with an amused smile. “Are you sure this is the right business for you? Should you be in risk assessment instead? Why are you here worrying about budgets and timing? That’s the whole point of doing preliminary demos, to help you see what direction to take and guide the creative process–”

“Okay, okay. Retract the claws, fellas,” Seokjin jumps in this time. “I’m with Yoongi on this one, JK. Take it easy, man.”

Jungkook tongues his cheek and nods begrudgingly. He makes it seem like he’s taking it in stride, tucking his chagrin behind a mask of indifference. Yoongi shrugs with a triumphant grin, clasping his hands together as he gestures both Seokjin and Jungkook to the soundbooth.

“What?” The younger man stares at the other two. “You want me in there too?”

“Yeah, just to test some stuff out. You have a nice voice,” Yoongi admits, and even though he’s being genuine for once, Jungkook still feels like it’s condescending somehow. Anything that comes out of Yoongi’s mouth is patronizing to him. “Couldn’t hurt to see how it would sound like with Jin hyung. Maybe we could even use it later.”

You’ve been trying to keep your head down and shut out all the sounds. Sounds of Jungkook fucking singing. Why did Min Yoongi have to force him into the box?

Back then, you used to tell him that he’s good enough to be a singer. He’d sing you to sleep whenever you were plagued with insomnia, or when you were sick, or just whenever you wanted him to. His voice always soothed you, made you feel warm all over. 

As if ignoring him today wasn’t difficult enough already.

“You’re bleeding.” You hear someone say a while later. 

Your head snaps up to see what’s going on. Somebody’s bleeding? How did that happen? But Seokjin and Jungkook are still in the booth, both looking at the paper that Jungkook is holding, talking to each other about something you can’t catch. You scan the room, brows furrowed, until you see Yoongi looking at you.

“Huh?” He points toward your hands. “You’re bleeding.”

Your eyes follow his line of sight until they land on what he’s staring at. You put the pen on the table and flex your hands. He’s exaggerating, they aren’t bleeding. Well, technically, they are if you count the reddened patches of cracked skin between your knuckles as bleeding. Your hands are just dry because the weather is cold. It happens. Dramatic Yoongi.

You wave him off with a smile. “Eh. It’s fine. I’ll put some lotion on it when I get home,” you lie. You don’t even have any hand cream. You’ve only tried using a dollop of body lotion on your hands once, but you didn’t like how your skin just felt so sticky afterward that it would leave visible prints when you touched your phone screen.

Yoongi shakes his head lightly. “No, you won’t. I’ve noticed that for a few days now.”

You level him with a look. “What are you, the hand police? It’s just dry hands. I’m not gonna die from that.”

“No, you‘re not,” Yoongi agrees, but regardless, he stands up and walks to retrieve his bag from where he left it on the couch. You watch with curiosity as he rummages through it until he pulls out a white tube of something. He crosses the distance to get to where you’re sitting and settles into the chair next to you. He reaches for your hands then, and says, “But do it for my sake. I don’t wanna look at your ugly witch's hands all day.”

“Yoongi!” you hiss, instantly scowling and failing to push him off when his stronger hand grasps one of your own. He pops open the tube and squeezes some of the cream onto your skin. “What are you doing?!”

“Hold still,” he says because you keep squirming. When the sheer weight of your glare on his face makes him look up at you, Yoongi actually glares back at you. Gasp. “Hold still,” he repeats firmly. 

You huff out a breath in annoyance. You glance at the booth to see if the guys are looking, but Seokjin still appears to be focused on the music sheet. You see and faintly hear him humming, his fingers tapping the air like he’s counting the beats. Jungkook, though… Jungkook is looking.

In the few seconds that your eyes meet his, you can tell that he’s trying to understand whatever the hell he’s watching here. You feel your cheeks heat up and you don’t really know if it’s because of Jungkook’s hard gaze on you or the feeling of Yoongi’s hands on your hands. You quickly turn away, missing the way the man in the booth pokes his tongue into a cheek.

You try to kick Yoongi in the shin but he manages to block your foot with his knee. He tuts at you disapprovingly. You watch him with a petulant frown as he rubs the cream into the back of your hand, between your knuckles, over each of your fingers. It feels expensive, though you would expect nothing less from Min Yoongi. The cream soaks into your skin right away, unlike that body lotion of yours that was obviously not made for this purpose. 

“You’re so overreacting over nothing,” you tell him.

“No, I’m not. Y/N, your hands were starting to look like coconut shavings,” he says casually, still focused on being your self-appointed hand masseuse it seems. “Is he looking?”

“What?”

“Jungkook,” Yoongi clarifies, his eyes darting up to your face for a brief second. “Is he looking?”

You exhale through your nose. “He was,” you say flatly, quite displeased with his shenanigans. “Yoongi, I told you not to do shit like this.”

His movements gradually slow. You don’t think there’s any more product on the surface left to absorb anyway. “I’m not doing this because of Jungkook, I promise,” he says, not pulling away just yet, letting his skin linger on yours. His head is still tilted downward, his gaze seemingly glued to where his thumb is swiping over your fingers. Jungkook used to do this too - absentmindedly playing with your fingers. It’s cute, and you hate to admit that the little things like this make you feel warm. You clench your jaw just once. Maybe it’s a guy’s thing.

For a moment, you actually think that he’s being sincere. About what, you don’t know. Then Yoongi looks up at you, eyes crinkling as he grins. “But pissing him off is definitely a huge plus.”

“You’re insufferable,” you tell Yoongi, rolling your eyes and shoving him away with your now moisturized hands. You gotta be honest, they do look and feel a lot better. Maybe you should pick some lotion up after work. You won’t tell Yoongi this, but you tried the exact one he just used on you a while back, in a store, and it smelled so good that you thought about it for two whole weeks. But when you saw the price tag, you immediately recoiled. It was one of the brands wherein the products were more expensive than the city’s median rent, so no wonder Yoongi would be the one to have something of theirs. Different tax brackets, you think.

Yoongi stumbles a little from your push. When he stands up, he takes one of your hands again, opening your palm and placing the tube there. “Use it every night before bed,” he instructs, like he’s a pharmacist and you’re just someone waiting to pick up their prescription.

“What?” You look at him, so serious and kind of offended. “Yoongi, I am not using your old shit!”

He sighs, wrapping your fingers around the tube so you would hold it there. “I don’t even use hand cream. I got that for you yesterday.”

Jungkook is so done. It’s been such a long week and it’s only the first day of the fucking week. After feeling so utterly helpless around you, losing to Yoongi and then watching Yoongi have his little moment with you right in front of him, Jungkook fully intends to drive straight to Jimin’s and raid his liquor cabinet until he gets a grip and figures out what to do on the you front. Especially since you called him out like that.

Jungkook hasn’t been able to focus in over an hour, after you left to go home, but he’s still cognizant enough to save the bits that he and Seokjin recorded earlier. He has witnessed how pissed Namjoon can get when they lose files due to carelessness, and no matter how level-headed his mentor usually is even in the most stressful of situations, Jungkook absolutely does not want to be on the receiving end of Namjoon’s scoldings when the man lets anger get the best of him.

Jungkook glances at the corner that you usually occupy with your nose buried in your notebook. It’s so empty in here; everyone else has already left. He sits there, heavy with so many realizations all at once. It feels like college all over, only this time, he isn’t just a stupid kid with a crush and a weird way of showing affection. He’s hurting you again. No matter what he does, he just keeps making it worse for you and him.

You were right, and it must’ve taken a lot for you to say what you said to him. It was crazy, and foolish, and most of all cruel for Jungkook to think he could patch things up with a smile. He knew how devastated he left you. Didn’t need to see the mess he made to know how much it fucked you up. Didn’t need anyone to tell him – even though his friends all tried – to know how unbelievably heartless it was to abandon the person who loved him the most. But back then, he believed he was doing the right thing. That’s how he coped with it, by trusting that it was the best decision he could make at the time. 

He still remembers that day like it was merely 24 hours ago.

The obliviousness in your voice when he told you he was coming over to talk and you said you had exciting news to share. The way he had cried in the car on his way over, pulled himself together just long enough to say “I’m breaking up with you,” and watched your eager smile drop. He could practically feel your heart in his open palm, crumbling to nothing as he gave it back to you. Like he was saying “I don’t want it anymore.” He remembers crying again on the drive after.

Everything is different now, but if he could go back, even with the knowledge of the fallout, he would still choose to do the same.

There was no point in telling Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, or just about anyone, why he felt like he had to do it. They would’ve just called him stupid and told you. He’s sure that if you knew then, you would try to reason with him, maybe you would even beg. And if you had begged him to stay, then there was no way he could follow through.

Jungkook locks up the studio and leaves. When he passes Jihyo at the reception, he hears her call his name but he pretends that he doesn’t. He’s too tired for this tonight. He just wants a drink, and he just wants to see you even though you were with him all day. 

Skipping the parking lot for now, Jungkook walks to the nearby store, wanting to bring something over to Jimin’s or else the older man will just grumble at him for coming empty handed. When he rounds the corner, he sees you walking by yourself in the small park across the street. Your hands are shoved in your pockets while you stare up at the starless night. Jungkook thinks you should belong in a painting.

He stands there curiously. If you looked straight ahead, you would see him. But you seem preoccupied with the clouds floating through the dark blue, too lost in thought to notice much. Your hand comes up when something lands on your face. A second later, Jungkook feels something wet and cold against his cheek too. He remembers.

He pulls out his phone, fiddles with it for a minute as he contemplates, and ultimately decides to tap on your name in his contacts. Pressing the device against his ear, he listens to it ring, and watches you fish your own phone from your bag. He takes note of the furrow between your brows, the fleeting clench of your teeth. He almost thinks you wouldn’t pick up, but you do.

“Hello?” you answer uncertainly. 

“Hey,” Jungkook says, “where are you?”

“Uhm…” There’s a pause. He wonders if you would lie. “Just out getting some air. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just… in front of you right now.”

Confusion overtakes your features. When your gaze crosses the street to land on him, you let out a small Oh, and give him a small awkward wave. He ends the call and rushes over, even though he doesn’t know what to say to you. He watches you wince, because you always hated whenever he jaywalked. It makes him smile a little.

“Hi,” you say as Jungkook stands in front of you.

“Hi,” he returns. “Mind if I join you?”

You stare up at him for a few seconds before deciding, “Yeah, sure.”

“What are you still doing here? You left like two hours ago,” he says. You walk together further into the park, where lonely lamp posts dimly light your path.

You shrug. “I went to get dinner and just… I don’t know. Felt like I could use some fresh air.”

“In this weather? It’s snowing.”

You both watch the breath that you huff out. “Well, it didn’t start snowing until you got here.”

The first snow, or just snow in general, is never as romantic as they make it seem in the movies. Sure it’s pretty, and when the ground is covered in a thick blanket of snow, it makes for a good Instagram story. But in reality? Snow is so fucking dirty, and when it starts melting, it is absolute hell for everybody. Your weather app didn’t say that it would snow today, but you should’ve known better than to trust that damn thing.

Jungkook hums, and silence falls over you like the snow, making everything so damp and gross. You hope it stops soon.

When some snowflakes land directly on your cheek, you wipe the moisture away with mild annoyance. “I hate snow,” you grumble, pulling your scarf tighter. If you had known that it would snow, you would’ve worn something with a hood and your sturdier boots.

Jungkook chuckles lightly as he watches you hiss when some snowflakes land on your head, startling your skin with its frost and slowly dampening your hair. “You don’t hate it,” he says. “You just hate it when you’re walking in the snow. I know you.”

The universe doesn’t give you time to dwell on that last comment. The ground beneath you turns slippery as you keep walking. You yelp loudly when your sneaker-clad feet skid on the thin ice sheet that the snow has created. You’re fully prepared for your ass to hit the pavement and consequently bruise in about half an hour, but Jungkook catches you with both hands on your waist, pulling you flush against him so you don’t hit the ground. Unlike you, his shoes have more traction.

Your heart hammers from the suddenness of the last thirty seconds. You can see each heavy breath that leaves your mouth and promptly dissipates into the cold air. You don’t realize that your hands are gripping his shoulders to help steady yourself, as if he doesn’t already have his arms wrapped securely around you, and you realize then that wow, this is the closest he’s been to you in years. It’s unbearable just how much you’ve missed being in his arms.

Just two people on an empty street, tangled up in each other, the falling snow your only audience – you look like you’ve landed yourself right in a romance drama, but in reality, this is anything but that.

You clear your throat and shuffle backward, out of his strong hold, careful not to trip and make a fool of yourself any more than you already have. “Thanks,” you say. “I should head home. It’s getting late.”

Jungkook nods. “Do you want to walk back to the company? I can give you a ride home.”

You consider this. The street is steadily being swallowed up by layers of white, and you don’t doubt that it will only be more difficult to navigate the road by yourself as the night gets darker and colder. Cabs are running more sparsely. It would take you forever to get home, especially in weather that makes you feel like a calf learning to walk for the first time.

“Yeah,” you agree, “sure, okay.”

The walk back to the building’s parking lot is mostly silent, and so is the ride to your apartment. You’ve never felt the first snow on your skin before, having always preferred to stay indoors on nights forecasted to experience snowfall. There’s something so wistful about witnessing the inauguration of winter yourself, how these delicate flowers of ice not only herald the ending of a season and the beginning of a new one, but also signal that another chapter of your life is about to close forever. It prompts you to mull over the last 12 months, to see if you’ve accomplished anything you set out to achieve or if you’ve wasted an entire year of your life. To share a moment like this with Jungkook makes you wonder if the universe is trying to send you a sign.

When the car stops at a red light a few blocks away from your place, you take the time to watch the snowflakes twirling outside the window. They wander in front of you, free yet aimless, like they’re asking if they could come in and seek refuge from the freezing cold. Not knowing warmth would be the thing that kills them. Adrift with the gentle wind until they land on the glass, only to die a mere second later. You break the silence.

“It’s kinda nice now,” you say, eyeing the marshmallow-looking ice that’s starting to pile up all around while you’re sheltered by the warmth of his car.

“See?” Jungkook chuckles. “Told you you only hate snow when you have to walk in it.”

“Hmm.” It’s true. You don’t want to admit it, but he did know you. Knew what drove you and what made you tick. Knew how your brain worked and how your heart moved. Knew that you loved him long before you could say it out loud.

Even when you lied that he doesn’t know you anymore, deep down you’re very well aware that he still does. 

“Can I ask you this one thing, though?” you say calmly, but something must alert him that you aren’t looking to talk about the weather or some other meaningless shit. Jungkook doesn’t give you a verbal answer, nor any other indication that you can go ahead and voice your question. He just looks at you before the light turns green, like he doesn’t really want you to ask anything but he has no other choice but to let you. Like he’s scared of what you might demand from him.

It’s okay. You weren’t asking for permission anyway.

“Did I…” love you enough? Was there a single moment where you thought I didn’t love you? “Back then,” you swallow, keeping your eyes on the snowy streets that turn into ivory blurs as the car starts moving again, “did I ever make you feel like you weren’t enough?”

Your ears don’t pick up on much sound in the infinite pocket of seconds that follows. Not the low hum of the car’s radiator, nor the wind that becomes harsher right outside the window. Just his breathing and the beat of your own heart, drowning in the anticipation of his answer.

What if he says yes? Would it mean that after all this time that you spent blaming him, it’s been your fault all along? Were you the one that drove him away?

“No,” he says, interrupting that voice in your head. “Not once.”

You don’t doubt that he’s telling you the truth, but it doesn’t make you feel better. His tone tells you there’s more than he’s letting on, but it doesn’t matter now. Before Friday night, Taehyung had asked if you would ask Jungkook the question, and after some consideration, you had said no. Maybe if it were a couple of years ago, or even a few months back when you saw him again, you would have said yes. You used to think that if he ever came back for whatever reason, the first thing you would ask him is why. You would confront him, demand an answer, make him walk you through every single thought he had before he decided to ruin your life.

But no answer could change the fact that he did leave. There is no excuse good enough to justify how he left you so completely crushed. Sure, knowing would give you some of the closure that you were desperately seeking at one point, but what if it makes everything worse? What if he left because he was looking for something, something more than you could give? What if he found it, only to realize then that it wasn’t worth leaving you for after all?

Now, at least you know that your efforts were felt. You did the best you could, loved him the best way you knew how. 

The man beside you clears his throat. You only notice now that Jungkook has already pulled up in front of your building. You haven’t spoken much before tonight, not about what happened at Jimin’s party. You weren’t sure how to bring it up, or if you should even bring it up. He seemed like he was trying to avoid the topic too. You had the weekend to relive every moment of that night over and over, and you obviously don’t want to talk about it, but you have to address it sooner or later if you want to move forward in peace. 

“Hey, uhm, about the other night…” you start.

He stiffens a bit, and then sighs. “I know,” he says. “You were right. It’s not fair of me to–”

“I’m sorry,” you cut him off firmly. “Some of the things I said were harsh, and I’m sorry.”

Jungkook looks at you in surprise. His ears must deceive him, because, “Why are you apologizing?”

“I told you. I was harsh and it was uncalled for.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he says, frowning. He twists his body to face you. “I deserved it. You were right to call me out. Don’t backtrack.”

You stare at him with your lips pursed. “Why are you trying to argue right now?”

“Because I deserve your rage. Be mad at me.”

“I am mad at you,” you tell him but there’s no bite. You’re softening, loosening your grip while he’s the only one trying to hold on. “But I don’t want to be anymore.”

“Why not? You should. You have every right.”

“Jungkook, it’s been five years,” you chuckle without much humor, thinking back to what you’ve been doing in the last half a decade. Stalking your ex online, mourning your lost love every time he gets into a new relationship, holding out hope. And for what? What’s the point of it all? It’s not like you and him are going to get back together again. It’s a waste of time, time that you could spend trying to let him go and move on, whether he gives you that closure or not. “I’m tired and I just want to get on with my life. I don’t want to keep being bitter about it. What good will that do?”

His face is so serious all of a sudden, like he wants you to actually scream at him. Curse him out. Anything. “Then what do you want me to do?”

“Don’t feel like you have to make amends, or do anything right by me. Can we just, I don’t know, let the past remain in the past? I don’t want to make our friends feel like they have to act a certain way around me when it comes to you. It’s my problem, not theirs. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable anymore. So please, I’m not asking for anything else. I just want us all to… move forward.”

It’s then that he sees, oh, maybe you do belong in a painting. Sitting right in front of him but you’re so far away. He was once the artist but now, he’s merely a spectator.  “Do you mean that?” he asks quietly.

“Yes, Jungkook. I’m really tired,” you say. “Why would you of all people want to be reminded of what happened?”

He swallows thickly. You can tell that he isn’t too fond of the idea, even if what you’re proposing gives him a way out. It lets him off the hook. But for some reason, he’s hesitant to take it, might be resisting it even. You can’t bring yourself to understand why, but eventually, he says, “Okay. If that’s what you really want.”

He doesn’t put up much of a fight, though it doesn’t exactly sound like an affirmation, but who even cares?

“Right, then,” you mumble, unbuckling your seatbelt and gripping the strap of your bag. “Good night. See you tomorrow.”

He says it back, and lets you go with a strained smile.

Yoongi’s fingers tap on his knees to the beat of the music playing in the background. You were surprised when he called you on a Saturday, asking if you were free, telling you that he had something to say. You didn’t have any plans and Yoongi said he was treating you, and well, you don’t need to be convinced further.

Here you are, in a fancy restaurant, sharing a tiramisu with Min Yoongi. How nice. You thought he’d have better plans than just hanging out with little old you.

“Will you please just tell me now?” you say, looking at him with playful puppy dog eyes. You take another bite of the dessert, and practically have to stifle a moan when the sweetness melts in your mouth. You honestly think you have romantic feelings for this tiramisu. “I’ve been waiting for like two hours.” 

Yoongi swirls the wine in his glass before he brings it to his lips and takes a sip, all the while looking at you, so happy with the treat that you’re supposed to share but he doesn’t even touch. When he sets his glass down, he calls your name, making you glance up. 

“Do you still… y’know… Jungkook?”

You stare at him back, confused. “Do I still I know Jungkook?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Don’t make me spell it out. You’ll just beat me if I say it.”

“Oh, so it’s something annoying then? Then please, keep it to yourself.”

“Okay, then,” he says, smiling so obnoxiously because he knows you’re too curious.

Give it a minute.

“Oh my god, fine,” you give up, drawing out the sentence exasperatedly. “Do I still what Jungkook?”

Yoongi regards your face teasingly. “Do you still have feelings for him?”

Your entire body goes rigid. You don’t even try to hide the way your face falls upon hearing his question. What’s the point? He’ll just see right through you anyway.

“You took me out to dinner just to ask me that?”

He nods. “Yeah, among other things.”

“I mean…” You set down your spoon. No one has ever asked you that before, and it’s not a question that you yourself have considered. Jungkook still affects you, that much is clear. Thinking about your relationship still affects you. Does that mean that you have lingering feelings for him? You’ve yet to solve this, and truth be told, you aren’t sure if you would like the conclusion it leads you to. You give Yoongi a vague answer, because even you yourself don’t know what the truth is. But it doesn’t matter, now that you’ve made the active decision to let it all go. “I’m trying to move on.”

“Hmm.” He doesn’t seem very satisfied with your choice of words. “Do you still hate him then?”

This, you don’t really need to ruminate much on. “I think part of me will always hate him for what he did.” And part of you will always love him in spite of what he did.

Yoongi leans forward with both of his arms on the table, contemplating how he should word this. You deserve flowery words and romantic grand gestures, but alas Yoongi is blunt, and sometimes rough around the edges. He has great timing too. Just as you raise a glass of water to your mouth to soothe your dry throat, he says, “Let me be your revenge dick.”

It makes you choke, sending water down every wrong pipe as you cough harshly. It dribbles down your chin and a few drops plop! onto your light wash jeans. You’re glad it wasn’t wine. You would’ve killed him if he made you stain your newly bought trousers. While you try to hold onto dear life, he has the audacity to fucking laugh. When you kick his shin under the table, he hands you a few napkins. It takes you another minute to calm down.

“What the actual fuck?” you hiss. The little “incident” earns you a few weird looks from people sitting nearby. It’s so embarrassing, but Yoongi is acting like it’s the funniest shit he’s ever seen.

“Let me be your revenge d–”

“I heard you the first time, Jesus Christ. Please don’t say the word “dick” to me ever again. In fact, please stop talking altogether. Please don’t open your mouth ever again.”

He does not abide by your request, opening his stupid mouth again and thus cementing his place as your least favorite person in the entire world right this minute. You lost half your brain cells listening to that one singular sentence. Jesus fucking God. Who in their right mind would utter something like that? And to you, no less? Fuck. Men.

One of these days, you swear you will pop an aneurysm. It’s so ridiculous that it’s not even funny. But Yoongi just keeps talking like you’re asking him to elaborate.

“What I’m saying is… use me.”

“For what?” You’re genuinely so perplexed as to what the point of this conversation is, or where it’s even going. This man has a way of surprising you more and more each day.

“For revenge dicking purposes.”

You do your best to suppress a shudder. Where did that term even come from? “Oh my god, why do you keep saying that? We’re in public! What if someone hears you?!” 

The man sitting across from you grins, showcasing his pearly whites, clearly very amused by your reactions. “You gotta show Jungkook what he’s missing. Make him regret it.”

“Min Yoongi,” you say slowly. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“No. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been this serious,” Yoongi answers. “Let me be your arm candy. I’m very good at that.” You’re very curious about who raised him and how he turned out to be this way. You can’t believe you have to tolerate him sometimes.

You give it another minute before you say, “I’ll have you know that Jungkook and I had a very productive talk. We’re in a much better place now, so your… whatever services won’t be necessary.”

He leans back, eases up, and stares at you thoughtfully. Like he doesn’t really believe you. Like the cogs of his mind are once again turning. “Okay, that’s even better. I don’t have to be the rebound. I can just be your main piece.”

Looking at him pleadingly, you bemoan, “Yoongi, why are you doing this to me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“It absolutely is not obvious!”

“Seriously?”

You cross your arms, raising an annoyed eyebrow at the man. “Listen, I don’t know what kind of people you’re hanging out with, but my friends don’t go around offering to–”

“Because I like you.”

You could practically facepalm. As he stares at you, not even blinking anymore, you reach for the salt shaker on the table to pour some onto your hand. When he opens his mouth to ask what you’re doing, you flick the miniscule white crystals in his direction. 

“Wha–”

“Yoongi, I can’t believe you wasted a whole evening for that lame ass joke.”

“Did you really just…” He throws his head back, laughing in both disbelief and amusement. “Wow. You tell a girl you like her and she throws salt at you. That’s definitely a first for me.”

“It’s not funny. Stop saying that.”

“Stop saying what?”

“Stop saying you like me!”

“But I do like you,” he says, voice softer now. “I’ve always liked you.”

You mentally groan, sucking your teeth before you reach for the salt again. He grabs your wrist before you could hold it up. 

“Quit it and listen to me. I’m serious.”

When you look at Yoongi, he’s wearing an expression you don’t think you’ve often seen, or ever seen before. There’s no trace of that familiar teasing smile that’s almost always on his lips, nor the mischievous glint in his eyes that he usually sports. This side of Yoongi is new to you. This side of Yoongi makes you hold your breath for some reason.

For a second there, you believe what he’s saying.

“Come on. You’re taking this too far.”

“Why do you keep thinking this is a joke? You know I would never do that, Y/N.”

You pull your hand back to pinch the bridge of your nose. “Because you keep using me to mess with Jungkook even though I’ve asked you multiple times to–”

“Can you not mention his name?” Yoongi straightens in his chair. This is the closest he’s ever come to being annoyed with you. “I’m trying to tell you how I feel and you’re thinking about Jungkook.”

You liked it better when he was cocky about it.

“You can’t possibly be serious right now.”

Yoongi purses his lips, his eyes telling you that he’s irritated with you too, only he’s much better at containing his frustration. You both stare at each other for god knows how long because neither one of you understands what the other is trying to say.

When Yoongi speaks next, his voice is so calm, so low that it makes your spine run cold.

“You were always so oblivious.”

“Oh my god, pick up, pick up, pick up,” you mutter to yourself like a deranged person on the sidewalk, telepathically urging Taehyung to answer the phone before you’ve even called him. His phone filters through your speaker after the third ring. Kim Taehyung, always so quick to answer your calls.

“What’s u–”

“Oh my god, Kim Taehyung, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, you will not believe what just happened,” you rush out in one breath. “Where are you? Are you at home? I’ll come to you. Oh my god!”

“Jesus, did you mix coffee with Red Bull again? Slow down,” Taehyung says. “I’m at Jimin’s now.”

“Oh? Okay.” This is even better. Jimin’s apartment is much closer to the restaurant than Taehyung’s place is. “Is it boys’ night? Nevermind. Doesn’t matter. I’ll come over right now. Be there in 15!”

“What? Wait, Y/N, no, Ju–!”

You hang up before he can say anything else. You bounce on your heels as you flag down a cab, so awfully restless and you just want to tell someone. On the ride over, the driver keeps glancing at you through the rearview mirror every few seconds; your nervous energy must have infected him because you look like you just found out that someone is freaking dying. When you arrive at your destination, you take a deep breath before you hurry up the stairs. Jimin’s building is old and has no elevator, which normally sucks because he lives on the fifth floor and you absolutely despise stairs. But right now, you have so much adrenaline coursing through your veins that five flights feel like a piece of cake.

You have no doubt that the men inside know it’s you from the way you ring his doorbell repeatedly. Jimin opens the door with an exasperated look, to which you pay no mind and just press a quick kiss against his cheek in greeting before you barge into his home in search of Taehyung.

“Kim Taehyung! Where are you? This is an emergency, I need y–!”

When you do find him, however, he isn’t alone. Sitting next to Taehyung on the couch and holding a bottle of beer to his lips, is none other than Jungkook. You all look at each other awkwardly as the words die on your tongue, killing some of the nerves while you bite your lip to keep your mouth shut. Jimin waddles into the living room after he shuts down the door and plops down next to Jungkook. Now there are three pairs of eyes on you.

“Oh, uhm, hi,” you say to Jungkook. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Hi,” he says, and offers you a beer on the table. “Want one?”

What you said to Yoongi at dinner wasn’t exactly untrue. You and Jungkook are kind of in a better place now. In the last few days, since you had your little chat in his car, he’s let up on the crap that he was pulling before. Something still feels off to you though. Feels like his head isn’t really in it, that he’s still doing this for the sake of trying to ease his guilt by going along with what he thinks makes you happy. Whatever. It’s at least a little progress, you suppose.

“No, that’s fine.” You wave Jungkook off before inching closer to Taehyung and pulling him up by the arm. “Uhm, I just needed to talk to Tae and I’ll be on my way!”

You drag your friend into the guest bedroom that Jimin has recently turned into an office, all the while ignoring his shout of “This better be good! Don’t forget to tell me later!” as you shut the door.

You glare at Taehyung. “Okay, why didn’t you tell me that Jungkook was here?”

“I tried to!” He raises his hands in surrender. “You hung up on me. I texted you about it.”

You rummage through your bag for the phone that you so hastily shoved in there before getting into the taxi. The notification on your screen glares back at you.

[21:42] Taebear 🐻: jungkook is here btw. dunno if you’re cool with that

“Right…” you mutter. “My bad.”

“Well?” Taehyung prompts, then his face turns worried as he gives you a once-over. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

You inhale deeply, holding onto his wrists and staring him dead in the eye. Even with the door closed and with Jungkook and Jimin all the way in the living room, you keep your voice low. “I think I just got propositioned.”

Your friend blinks slowly, or rather, he closes his eyes for five whole seconds before he opens them. Taehyung visibly relaxes when he comprehends that you are, in fact, okay and healthy, and that you’re just being overly dramatic.

He pushes your hands away. “Fuck off. I thought something bad happened.”

“Something bad did happen!”

“You are literally the worst person.”

“I’m serious!”

He groans and looks at you like a disappointed parent. “Fine,” he relents, “what happened?”

“I think Yoongi sort of pimped himself out to me today.”

Taehyung opens his mouth, closes it, and does it again a few times. “You can’t just say that and not elaborate.”

“He said he likes me.”

There comes that slow-ass, neverending blink again. Taehyung looks like the meme, like he’s seeing the world in nothing but equations.

“I fail to see how that would be considered pimping oneself out.”

“Well, you have to hear what he said after–”

A mop of fluffy blond hair materializes out of thin air, startling you both. You didn’t even hear him come in. That sneaky little thing. “What are we talking about?” Jimin asks, lowering his volume to match yours. “Why are we whispering?”

“Why are you here?” You look behind him at the door that he left ajar. “Where’s Jungkook?”

“He’s in the living room.”

“By himself?”

“Well, there’s no one else here, so duh.”

You exhale exasperatedly. “Now it’s gonna look like we’re talking about him.”

“Aren’t we?”

“We’re talking about Yoongi,” Taehyung says, casting his eyes to the ground briefly.

“Yoongi?” Jimin asks, glancing between you and Taehyung with a slight frown. “Your Yoongi?”

You raise an eyebrow in question. “What do you mean my Yoongi? There’s only one Yoongi. He’s the Yoongi.”

“Okay. So what’s up with the Yoongi?”

Taehyung turns to his wonder twin with an unamused look. “She’s doing that annoying thing where she gives you a single detail of the story and you have to ask her to keep going every time.”

Blondie makes a face. “Oof, yeah, that’s annoying. Don’t do that.”

You gape at the two of them. “I’m giving you tea and you’re complaining about my storytelling skills?”

You should’ve expected it, should’ve known what was coming the second that question left your mouth. The guys don’t even need to look at each other to be in sync when they echo, “Yes.”

“But seriously,” Jimin says, “what about Yoongi?”

“We went to dinner tonight and he… said he likes me…” you tell him, and physically recoil at the memory. Oh… the horror. “And he said, oh my god I can’t even repeat it without wanting to jump off a bridge, he said to let him be my revenge dick.”

Jimin gasps. Taehyung chokes on his own spit. They both sputter out, “What the fuck?”

“Right?!” you cry, still so fucking mortified by the experience. “I almost died just sitting there. I can’t believe he made me listen to that with my own two ears.”

Taehyung is the first one to turn serious. “What happened after that though?” You don’t know what you would do sometimes if there wasn’t a Kim Taehyung to ground you.

“Well, I came here.”

“So…” he drags out the single word, “you ran away from him?”

Jimin looks at you expectantly too, wearing the same question in his eyes. You frown at them. “What? No. I threw salt on him and told him to stop fucking around and then I lef– Oh my god, I did run away.”

Shit.

Shit.

“Hold up, what the fuck,” Jimin cackles, like this is all just so funny. “You threw salt on him?”

You let out a nervous laugh, and point finger guns at your friends idiotically. “But it’s fine. Because obviously he didn’t mean it.”

“Why would you think he didn’t mean it?” Taehyung asks.

“He’s an annoying little shit sometimes! And,” you keep your volume under control again, “he hates Jungkook. He’s only doing it to piss him off.”

Taehyung purses his lips, regards you with a look you don’t like because you’re trying to sort through this logically, convince yourself that it isn’t real and that Yoongi is just missing April Fool’s day by four whole months. Why is your friend making this more difficult?

“Is it so hard to believe that someone can like you?”

“Yes,” you say seriously, “when that person is Yoongi.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s Yoongi!” You throw your hands up. “He’s not like us.”

“I hate to break it to you, but celebrities aren’t above having crushes.”

You look at Jimin for help, but he just shrugs, choosing silence as the neutral option or maybe staying silent is just his way of agreeing with Taehyung. This isn’t the reaction you expected when you rushed here to give him the goss. Taehyung doesn’t blindly support your every decision or try to rationalize your every move just because he’s your friend. He tells you to your face when you’re being absurd, so you really don’t get why he’s the one being unreasonable right now.

“Oh my god, please,” you say. “Yoongi absolutely does not have a crush on me.”

Jimin chimes in. “Well, he did literally just admit that to you.”

You send him a glare that says, Oh, so now you’re talking?

You turn to Taehyung again. You can’t believe this is happening. Are you two really arguing? About whether or not Yoongi actually likes you? While Jungkook is sitting by himself in another room? You bet nobody has this on their bingo card.

“I told you. He’s just trying to fuck with Jungkook.”

“Why do you keep saying that? Why do you think he’s trying to fuck with Jungkook?” Taehyung challenges.

“Because he’s my friend!” you groan. It’s the most obvious thing in the world, but no one seems to believe that Yoongi is just your friend. “You’re my friend too. But you’re being so fucking annoying now.”

He narrows his eyes at you, as if to prove a point. “Yoongi is that good of a friend that he would go out of his way to mess with someone he hadn’t even met until a couple weeks ago?”

“I– well– maybe!” you stammer, blinking up at him. The height difference is clearly not doing you any good. “He’s a very petty person. And when he isn’t being a little shit, he can be a very good friend.”

Taehyung scoffs, seriously getting on your nerves. It isn’t even any of his business. You just wanted to tell him for the sake of sharing with your best friend, not ask for his opinion on any of it. He doesn’t even know Yoongi, never even met him.

“I know what people are like when they’re in love with you,” Taehyung mutters, eyeing the ground. Jimin makes a noise and nudges his friend in the rib, shaking his head while he does so.

 You, petty little you, want to fire back. “Oh, so Yoongi is in love with me now?”

Taehyung opens his mouth, prepared to continue his assault on your sanity when Jimin has to step in, waving his hands in front of you both. “Alright, that’s enough,” he says. “Why don’t we just call it a night and let’s reconvene when everybody is thinking straight, yeah?”

Taehyung doesn’t even look at you. You try to release your frustrations through a loud exhale, but it doesn’t do much. When all of you venture out into the living room to leave, you remember that Jungkook is still here. He looks at yours and Taehyung’s disgruntled expressions, then at Jimin’s face as he not-so-subtly shakes his head, silently telling him to not ask any questions. Poor guy, this was boys’ night after all. You couldn’t have spent more than 30 minutes in Jimin’s office. He was just quietly drinking his beer and watching TV out here, unaware of everything going on in the room just down the hall. Now everybody seems pissed and the night is spoiled.

You bid Jungkook and Jimin a curt goodnight before you head for the door, saying nothing to Taehyung because he clearly doesn’t deserve any pleasantries after tonight. You end up going home with more questions than answers.

You hate this. You hate it so much.

Now that you’re finally starting to actually coexist with Jungkook – of all people! – the other men in your life have to come for your head?

You haven’t spoken to Taehyung since that night, which was only three days ago, but still. It’s the longest you’ve gone without talking to your best friend. You don’t know what was up his ass, and Jimin has just been telling you to not overthink it, that Taehyung will reach out when he’s calmed down. It makes zero sense to you, because how does your situation affect him in any way? What does he even have to calm down from?

With Yoongi, on the other hand… Well, you’re still convinced that he was just being good old insufferable Yoongi. This is how he has always been – teasing, easy going, and has a good rapport with you. That night was just a fluke. Maybe he had too much to drink and didn’t know when to stop the joke from getting too carried away.

You are not fighting with Yoongi. You are not fighting with Yoongi. You remind yourself of this, so that when you see him in the studio next, everything is okay.

Yoongi arrives some time after lunch and brings everybody coffee. You expect him to be lighthearted as always, which he is, and you expect him to sit next to you as always, which he does. He laughs with Seokjin, chats with Namjoon about the art scene, pokes “friendly” fun at Jungkook every now and then. You two work side by side, bouncing ideas off each other like you normally do. He doesn’t mention the dinner, which makes you feel a whole lot better about that night because see? Everything is fine. If everything is fine with Yoongi then everything is fine with Taehyung too.

Some time around 5pm, Yoongi asks if you should all go out for drinks tonight. He gets shot down by the guys though. Apparently no one is up for after-work drinks on a Tuesday night.

“You’re no fun,” Yoongi grumbles before turning to you with hopeful eyes. “Y/N?” he whines, “Indulge me like you usually do, please?”

“No, thanks,” you decline. You glance up in time to see Jungkook quietly chuckling to himself. “Today is my self-care day.”

“Tuesday is your self-care day?”

“Because tomorrow is Wednesday. I have a pre-Wednesday routine.”

“Did I ever tell you that you’re very weird about Wednesdays?” Seokjin asks.

You hum in thought for a moment before answering him. “You did. And then you told me a really bad dad joke.”

He makes an exasperated Ahh noise as he recalls the very moment, then blasts his booming windshield wiper laugh when he remembers the joke he made. “Hey, that joke was killer!”

“It absolutely was not! The only decent one that I’ve heard from you is–”

“No, no, hey,” Yoongi cuts in, “don’t entertain him and his stupid jokes. Come onnn, you know I hate drinking alone. Go for a drink with me, princess. You used to be my drinking buddy all the time.”

“Uh huh,” you scoff. “And look where drinking with you got me.”

“I allow fraternizing in the workplace as long as I’m still the priority, guys,” Seokjin chirps in. 

“That’s not what I meant,” you say quickly. “No one is fraternizing with anybody!”

Yoongi hums quietly. He drops his volume, just for your ears. “No? Is that your answer then?”

“What?” you whisper. You don’t know why you’re whispering. You just do it because Yoongi is doing it.

“You kinda ran out on me the other night.”

“I didn’t–”

He gives you a look.

“Okay, maybe I did… but only because you were being ridiculous!”

Yoongi licks his lips and tips his head toward the door. He’s the first one to stand up and head out of the room, followed by you half a minute later. You appreciate him wanting some privacy for you two to talk, but you don’t like that this is a conversation that needs privacy. You were all just joking around in there. If this is still a joke, why is he leading you out here?

Walking out the door, you hear Seokjin call after you, “Fraternizing!”

“That is not what’s happening!”

You find Yoongi in the empty breakroom, leaning against a counter.

“You can drop it now, Yoongi,” you say.

“What?” he tilts his head, looking at you curiously. “You still think I’m messing around?”

“Obviously.”

“Why is that?” he asks. “What makes that so hard to believe?”

It’s what Taehyung asked you the other night too.

Because you’re you! is what you almost say. It’s the same answer you gave Taehyung, because, well, do you even need another explanation? You don’t tell him that though, thinking it might offend him somehow. Instead, you throw him a question.

“Okay. Sure. Let’s say that you are serious. What happened? When did you even start liking me? Why are you telling me now?”

Yoongi exhales gently, straightening up to walk closer to where you are. He stops when he’s right in front of you, looking right into your eyes and using the same voice he did that night. “I always liked you. I liked you last year when we first worked together and I like you now. The only difference is then, you weren’t trying to move on,” he says, so unwavering that it makes you stagger.

That… is not what you were expecting. You blink up as he smiles down at you fondly. You feel lightheaded. Maybe even scared, because what if he means it? He sounds too sincere for it to just be all fun and games. You remember the way he held your hand when he made you put on that stupid fancy lotion.

His voice keeps lowering, and you hate that it makes you nervous. Your stomach twists, your heart pounds against your ribs.

“If you’re moving on now, can’t you do it with me?”

Looking back now, were there signs that you should have noticed?

You stand there, processing, not knowing what you should say to him, not really even breathing anymore. Yoongi must interpret your silence as realization, recognition, because he chuckles, again amused by your reaction.

“Yoongi…”

He stops you, though you weren’t going to say anything else. You feel like you could cry. Maybe he sees it in your eyes. Yoongi pats your arm gently, still smiling. “I’ll let you sleep on it, princess.”

When he leaves the room, you keep standing there by yourself. So Taehyung was right? Your friend who has never had a single interaction with Yoongi, who has only heard about him from the stories you shared, could tell that there was something there? That Yoongi had feelings for you all along?

At the dinner, Yoongi said you were always oblivious.

Is it possible that you really had no idea, or did you just force yourself to look the other way?

That night, was he hurt? After you repeatedly dismissed him and eventually walked out?

Oh, Yoongi…

When someone enters the room after you’ve been standing here for what feels like forever, navigating the sea of your own thoughts, you startle to life.

“You okay?” Jungkook asks, eyeing you as he goes to fix himself a cup of coffee.

“Yep, mhmm,” you respond. You try to shove away all of your unraveling emotions. They could wait until later.

You have no idea why you’re still standing here, watching Jungkook make coffee with his back to you, but that’s arguably a better idea right now than to go back to the studio where Yoongi is. 

“You know,” Jungkook starts, pressing the buttons on the fancy coffee machine that you don’t know how to use. “I don’t think it’s very professional. Y’know, Yoongi flirting with you all the time.”

You stare at his broad shoulders with your brows furrowed, already on edge even though you don’t know what he’s referring to.

“What?”

“I don’t think it’s professional,” he repeats. “Yoongi flirting with you all the time.”

“When has Yoongi ever flirted with me?” you ask. It’s meant to sound sarcastic and defensive, hoping he’ll take the hint to back off but really, now that you’ve said it, it’s a question that you yourself would genuinely like the answer to.

“Admit it,” Jungkook says, turning around to face you. “It’s not like he tries to be very subtle about it. All the nicknames, always complimenting you, even when he put his hands all over you the other day right in front of us! There’s no way that you’ve missed the way he looks at you sometimes.”

You blink a few times, not sure if you heard him right. You hope your brief silence gives him a chance to backtrack when he sees how offended you are, but he just stares at you. Jungkook really does have the worst timing, and it doesn’t take long for your anger to overflow. Moving forward together in peace lasted a whole week, huh?

“Even if Yoongi is flirting with me, how is it any of your business?”

“It kinda is my business, though, isn’t it? Considering he does it at my place of work.”

Oh, he’s gotta be kidding. 

“Okay, it’s your place of work,” you hiss. The steam rising from his fresh mug of coffee might as well resemble the cartoon-like smoke churning from the top of your head. Jungkook seems taken aback by your reaction, but honestly, what the hell did he even expect when he said something like that to you? “So you fucking the receptionist must be so professional, right?”

Paling about a hundred shades, he looks like you just poured a bucket of ice cold water over his head. The gulping throat, the parting lips, the guilty eyes and his whole demeanor exuding shock and embarrassment, because Jungkook didn’t know that you knew, let alone foresee that you would throw it in his face. He stands there, dumbfoundedly muttering, “How– Who told you about that?”

You ignore his question. Why does it even matter who told you? If you were less angry, you would be more curious as to how he thought this was going to go. Why would he say something like that out of nowhere? 

He said he deserved your rage? He wanted you to be mad? Fine. Be careful what you wish for.

You feel sick to your stomach and he would come to you and say shit like that. Like Jungkook can dictate anything about your life. Like he has the right to fuck things up and leave when he’s had his fun.

Your sinuses burn when you speak next. “You don’t see me running to you, whining about how Jihyo always looks at me like she wants to gouge my fucking eyes out. How she’s always so nice and bubbly to everyone but then when it’s me, she acts like I ran over her fucking dog.”

Yeah, he definitely wasn’t expecting this reaction.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t–”

“No, just save it. You talk a big game about trying to do right by me and then you go and say shit like this. How many times do I have to tell you? I’m so fucking tired.”

People often say that you should never make decisions when you’re angry. No one wants to end up regretting something they said or did in the heat of the moment. You’ve always thought that this is good advice, and you always try to live by it because you know your temper can get the best of you sometimes.

The keyword here, though, is try.

You run a hand through your hair, feeling infuriated at this point because Jungkook keeps fucking explaining himself, even though he’s the one who started this whole thing. You can’t even properly hear what he’s saying, all of his words going into one ear and out the other. Something about it not meaning anything and ending it with her months ago. 

You take a deep breath and look into his panicked eyes.

“You’re such a fucking hypocrite.”

You think he’s apologizing again, from the way his lips form the words I’m sorry, but your pulse is ringing so loud in your ears that you don’t really catch the sounds. The anger inside of you still simmers despite having spilled over. Your face is so eerily calm that you hope it scares him. When you turn on your heels to leave, you know he’s following you back to the studio. You sit back down beside Yoongi but you don’t meet his eyes. You keep your gaze trained on the open notebook, nursing that anger.

You should’ve known that there’s no moving forward with Jungkook. If anything, he just wants to tie you to the past and never let you leave. Is he that immature, that selfish that even after all this time, after what he did, he can’t stand the idea of you and someone else?

You briefly make eye contact with Jungkook from across the room before you turn to Yoongi, your voice loud enough for everyone to hear.

“On second thought, that drink does sound nice,” you tell him with a smile. “Pick me up at 9?”

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted december 31, 2022]

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

The rose hanbury rumor is completely mainstream now. Idk how it will go away when the sussex stans are continuing to spread it. I don’t really see this going away, especially not with the cholmondeys always attending events. What can Rose do? I know she sent a letter to Stephen Colbert but can she stop Entertainment Tonight from writing about her?

But it’s not really mainstream, though. It’s only “mainstream” when the Sussex Squad talk about it and make it trend on social media.

If you take Sussex Squad out of the equation, no one talks about Rose. She was at the OBE service yesterday, did anyone care? No, because she wasn’t photographed with anyone to make it relevant. But people have their knickers in a twist today over being photographed with Camilla *last week*…because Sussex Squad finally saw the photos. I saw the photos when they were first published and believe me, no one was talking about the affair rumors over the weekend.

It’s exclusively Sussex Squad that talks about it. So once Sussex Squad goes away, Rose will have her peace. And if you think that won’t happen, then you’ve probably been spending too much time in the fandom because the affair rumors barely register in “real life” - and that’s fine if you like it that way but that perception isn’t accurate.

[sendpseuds]

WIP Wednesday - You Fucked Yourself Obi-Wan?

So the people have spoken and it looks like we're getting a sequel kids [title, uh, subject to change]. I immediately knew what the catalyst was going to be in this story, and I doubt it will surprise you either.

It's mostly just dialogue at this point, but it's fun, so, enjoy.

[in case you haven't read Go Fuck Yourself Obi-Wan]

Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Quinlan are down to the last hand in a game of sabacc [or something]

“Pay up, Vos.”

“I’m still convinced you’re cheating, Kenobi.”

“You’ve seen me cheat plenty of times. If you can tell me how I’ve cheated, you can have your money back. Otherwise, I’d say this is game over, old friend."

“Yeah yeah, go fuck yourself, Obes. Well, I guess you’ve already done that, huh?”

Long awkward pause

“Quin…”

“Wait. What? What do you mean?”

“Oh shit, you haven’t told him?”

“I never planned to tell anyone, Quinlan.”

“Tell me what?”

“Nothing, Anakin. It’s not important.”

“That’s not fair. Quinlan thinks I should know, you have to tell me.”

“Quin, I think it’s time for you to leave.”

“Don’t you move—“

“Oh, don’t worry, Skywalker, I'm not missing this.”

“Tell me, Obi-Wan.”

“I could tell him for you—”

“Vos, I swear if you do not shut your mouth—“

“Master—“

“Sounds familiar—“

“Oh, for fucks sake—"

“Tell me or I will get it out of him!”

"It won't be difficult."

“Fine!”

Long pause

“I’m sure you remember the little— mixup with Padawan Kenobi?”

“Yeah, of course, I remem— wait—“

“Aw, look at the way his face scrunches up when he’s figured something out—”

“You— you slept with him?”

“Hardly more than masturbation, from a certain point of—“

“I think it was a little more than that, Obes—“

“Would you please—“

“Why did you tell him and not me!?”

"I didn’t tell him! He was delivering something from the council and just went about touching things!”

“I was curious if he asked about me. I knew he would—”

“By the time I realized what he was doing he was in the bedroom. Nosy bastard.”

“Wait— when was this? What— uh— what did you see?"

“Are you asking if I know who else Kenobi is fucking?”

Long pause

“Don’t worry, kid. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“Evidently mine are not.”

“Sorry, Obes, I figured you would have told your boy toy—”

“Anakin is not my—”

“And maybe I like to watch you squirm a little. I’m still hurt you didn’t invite me to join. Fuck, the way I used to throw you around—“

“Yeah okay, it’s time for you to go.”

“Oh come on, I’m just—“

“Now, Vos.”

“Alright, alright. You two have fun tonight.”

“I hope you trip over a cleaning droid.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I really do.”

[she-karev]

Carina’s Baby Shower (Maya x Carina Sweet Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of Two

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy/Station 19

Ship: Maya Bishop x Carina DeLuca

Canon Episode: After Season 20 Episode 10 and After Station 19 Series Finale

AN: Happy Pride guys! I wanted to do baby showers for Carina and Maya when they were both pregnant so watch out for another one shot tonight with Maya as the pregnant woman of honor. Like and reblog below and let me know what you think.

Summary: Carina has a surprise baby shower hosted by Maya at the hospital.

Words: 1953

November 4th, 2023

Carina walks out of an exam room blowing air out as the six-month pregnant belly in front of her feels heavier than she thought it would. She’s been an OB for over 10 years and now she’s finally on the other side of what her patients feel for nine months before she helps them deliver.

All the times she told the women it would be a beautiful journey probably felt like punching her in the face because Carina feels exhausted not to mention bloated and hormonal. Despite all of those feelings there are no words to describe how happy she is to finally be pregnant and have a family with the woman she loves.

Ever since they found out there were pregnant Maya made it her mission to make this the easiest pregnancy for Carina. Every morning, she makes Carina a cup of coffee and insists on only one cup a day. She also packs Carina a nutritious and full lunch for two people and Carina admits that Maya’s cooking skills have improved since they adopted Liam. While she works Maya sends Carina little heart and baby emoji’s that make her heart flutter. And before bed Maya tells the baby in Carina’s belly a story of her day on the job highlighting all the times, she saved the day to Carina’s amusement.

The young OB has to admit that being pampered isn’t as nauseating as she thought it would be. If anything, she wishes she got knocked up in the first place so she can get some of Maya’s special foot massages.

Carina smiles at that as she rubs her belly that is currently being occupied by her and Maya’s daughter. When they found out the sex at the 20-week ultrasound they were happy to hear the baby was healthy also that they would have a little girl of their own. The aunties love their little niece Lucy DeLuca so much and can’t wait to have a little girl to buy pink clothes for.

“Carina.” Her thought train stops in a halt as her sister-in-law, Amber DeLuca, approaches her in her light blue scrubs fit for surgical residents, “I need you on an urgent OB consult let’s move.”

Carina follows Amber who is powerwalking, “Can you slow down? My feet aren’t as quick as they used to be.”

“Sorry.” Amber slows down so she and Carina can walk side by side, “Yeah, I remember my time in the pregnancy seat. Except back then I was one of the only two residents in a rundown program and I was trying to make sure baby interns didn’t kill my patients. It felt like I was walking on a landmine on swollen ankles.”

Carina chuckles, “It feels that way for me too and then you have to deal with patients getting annoyed when you go to the restroom to pee.”

Amber groans, “I know I hate that and most of them are men who don’t have a woman at home, so they don’t get the sacrifices and changes our body makes to accommodate a temporary guest. And the paperwork. Curse the paperwork!”

Carina growls under her breath understanding, “I know! I have to change my will and fill out my maternity leave forms by the end of the month plus the life insurance. How did you get it done while you were an overworked resident?”

“Easy I got Kwan to do it for a chance to scrub in on my lap appy.” Carina gapes at Amber using an intern to fill out her papers, “What? They know intern work is mostly scut, I’m the chief resident and as a resident I have utilize my resources.”

“That is so evil!” Carina says with a smile, “Yet brilliant.”

Amber grins proudly, “If you want as a gift to your baby, I can get Kwan to fill out your papers for you like he did mine.”

Carina wants to say no but the offer is so tempting, “Fine but for my baby that’s it!”

“Of course.”

Carina sees they are still walking down the hall and gets curious on their destination, “Who’s the patient?”

“Oh, she’s a very pregnant lady with many complications.” Amber opens the door to the exam room.

“SURPRISE!”

Carina is taken back by the multiple people in the exam room that is filled with diapers, plushies, baby clothes and many other gifts that you get someone at a baby shower. Maya, Andrew, Warren, Andy, Bailey and Jo are in the center of the crowd smiling with the rest consisting of OB’s and nurses. Carina laughs at the attention and looks at Amber who shrugs with a grin.

“Oh my god! Bambina, I told you I didn’t want anything big at work.” Carina tells Maya with a smile.

Maya smiles, “Yeah but with your hormones I didn’t want to risk upsetting you if I did nothing.”

“And you made a promise with the most type-A woman on the planet so a party where you get stuff so you can be more prepared was a given.” Andy says knowing Maya too well.

Andrew hands a plastic cup to Carina, “Sparkling grape juice for the mom to be.”

“Thank you.” Carina sips the juice and sees the cupcakes on a platter Jo Karev is holding, “Aw you made me cupcakes?”

Jo smiles and holds out the cupcakes over her equally sized pregnant belly, “Yeah their from me and Alex. As a woman who is also pregnant, I know the thing you crave more than ever is red velvet cake. Unless you’re not in which case I can get you another cake your craving right now.”

Carina laughs, “No I love red velvet thank you.”

Andrew grabs a brown floral like cupcake and takes a bite, “Mmm these are pretty good, and you did a good job making it look like a flower.”

“Actually, their vaginas.” Jo explains, causing Andrew to stop midchew and Amber to widen her eyes and look at the pastry.

From the common eye it looks like white, brown and pink flowers on top of red velvet cupcakes. But from a doctor’s point of view, you can discern the flowers as vulvas with pink frosting as the tip.

Carina chuckles, “They are!”

Her brother swallows the cupcake he’s eating despite his discomfort, “Still good a little disturbing but good.”

He hands his half-eaten cupcake to Amber who eats it greedily, “Wow I didn’t think pregnancy made you a master chef Jo.”

Jo chuckles, “Me and Alex were up all night with our anatomy textbooks and baker’s hat.”

Amber chuckles before getting Andrew’s gift that is inside a white bag, “And your brother got you a teething set for ages 0-12 months.” Carina awes at the gift.

“Trust me you’ll thank me for getting you a set.” Andrew tells Carina, “Once they start to teeth that’s when the cuteness ends and reality hits.”

Maya chuckles, “Trust me we already know Liam was a very cranky little boy at three months. And we had to go through seven toys before we found the right one for that stage, so this saves a lot of trips back and forth from the store thanks.”

“And…” Andy goes to the restroom opens the door and wheels out a Mockingbird double stroller with a large teddy bear plush in one seat and a stuffed elephant in the other. The couple look at the gift like its candy, “The whole station pitched in, and we got you guys a new set of wheels for the babies.”

“Aww thank you, tell the others thank you from us.” Carina sniffles and chuckles, “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.”

“I know the hormones make me so imbalanced too.” Jo tells Carina sharing her pain.

“And the interns decided to pitch in and get you a gift too.” Amber motions to Kwan, Millin, Adams, Yasuda and Griffith who grin and wave at Carina and Maya.

Maya raises an eyebrow at the intimidating chief resident, “Did they decide or were they forced by you?”

Amber turns to the inters with a glare causing them all to say, “Decided.”

Maya chuckles and whispers to Andrew, “Wow and people say I’m type-A.”

“Oh, you have no idea.” Andrew whispers back from seeing his wife at work and at home.

Amber smiles and hands a large pink diaper backpack to Maya, “It’s a new diaper bag in case the old one is worn out. There’s already bottles, formula and diapers inside the bag and a few small toys.”

Maya looks inside the bag to confirm with a smile, “Wow I am so glad you’re a scary resident baby surgeons have nightmares about.” The interns chuckled confirming Maya’s comment.

“And my personal gift to you guys…” Amber puts her hand on Benson Kwan’s shoulder facing Carina, “is Kwan.”

Maya looks up from the backpack with surprised wide eyes, “I’m sorry?”

Kwan chuckles uneasily and whispers to Amber, “I don’t like babies.”

“And babies don’t like you.” Amber retorts back and explains to the couple, “I’m giving you guys Kwan so he can fill out all of that annoying paperwork he filled out for me when I was pregnant and cranky.”

Kwan groans, “Can’t you get Adams to do it or Yasuda?”

“They don’t have your penmanship.” The interns snicker at Amber’s comment, “Do this for both of them and I’ll let you scrub in on my next three surgeries.”

At that the interns yell over each other insisting they do it instead to Amber’s annoyance who yells out, “Quiet!”

The interns quiet in fear again with Kwan smiling that he’s not at the receiving end for once.

Kwan asks for clarification, “Do I get to cut?”

“If you don’t annoy me and be your usual self I’ll think about it.”

Kwan turns to the couple of the hour with an eager grin, “I’m at your service Dr. DeLuca and Firefighter Bishop, or is it DeLuca-Bishop? Or is it Bishop-DeLuca?”

“DeLuca-Bishop.” The women confirm with a smile.

“Great just give me your information and I’ll get started on the paperwork.” Kwan tells them causing the women to look at a grinning Amber with gratitude.

“Okay he is by far the best gift.”

Carina nods in agreement with Maya, “Not by far no paperwork is a miracle!”

Jo groans and whispers to Andy who looks amused, “A personal scut monkey, why didn’t I think of that? I just got them flower vagina cupcakes.”

Andy chuckles, “Look on the bright side, maybe she can give him to you at your baby shower.”

Jo gasps, “Your right, god I love having a chief resident for a sister-in-law.”

“So do Maya and Carina.” Andy and Jo clink their glasses and sip the sparkling grape juice.

Ben and Bailey step up next and hand Carina a Medela breast pump bag, “Breast pump for the milk. It’s quick so you can do it in between shifts plus you can carry it everywhere you go. Also, it’s virtually painless that’s most important.”

Carina awes, “Aww thank you both so much really I love this thank you all so much.” Carina sniffles and few stray tears come out causing her to laugh, “And now I’m crying.” The others chuckle too, “Okay what games do we have? I need to stop crying so bring out the games!”

On cue Amber brings out the baby bingo for them to play. While they prep, Maya stands in front of Carina caressing her large belly with a loving grin.

“Ti amo.”

Carina smiles at Maya speaking Italian, “Anch'io ti amo.”

The women share a brief but tender kiss and get back to the baby shower their friends threw for them.

Maya’s Baby Shower Here

[ohgodimafraud]

Incense Coworker Obs (m) by anon73

Hi all I just wrote this on my phone.

Fandom: j/jk (nana/go)

Summary: Nana/mi recounts the events of his last meeting on the forum.

sneezefetishforum.com

>Private Boards

>>Adult Board

>>>Adult Observations, Stories and Artwork

>>>>Observations

Incense Coworker Obs (m) by anon73

Tags: allergy, m

Posting this in the adult board just in case.

Tonight I witnessed something at the late night meeting I was forced to attend.

Some background: my coworker S is annoying and arrogant but more relevantly, he’s prone to sneezing fits and has been for as long as I’ve known him. For those of you who like visuals, he’s in his late twenties, is around 180 cm and at first glance has a lanky build, though he’s rather muscular and well-toned. He is widely considered handsome and has long eyelashes and bright eyes and light hair. His nose is larger than average and is upturned, and it just looks sensitive. He doesn’t get sick often but strong scents will set him off and it’s an open secret that he’s photic.

Presumably, one of the higher-ups at the company had lit incense earlier, and it remained burning in the corner and filling the room with a sharp pine or evergreen-like scent throughout the meeting. It made my nose itch for a few moments and I could only imagine what this was doing to him. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him shamelessly massage the sides of his nose, running the pads of his fingers up and down from the base of his nostrils to the bridge of his nose.

The debriefing started to fade into the background and I had to decide whether to pay attention to what was about to unfurl to enjoy later or on the information that was being shared. And as I tried to decide, he started sniffling, each one sounding more necessary than its predecessor. And then—

“h-hih…hehhh…-ihhdSCHh’iyew!” Sometimes the ends of his sneezes go up in pitch and swell in volume and it drives everyone nuts (including me). It’s unfortunately really hot. He sighed and sneezed again three more times. They were less intentionally dramatic but the hitches in between were especially vocal: “heh!! tSChh’ih! Hhih’tzSCHh! h-hehh…ihtschh!”

One of our coworkers next to him whispered a blessing and sounded somewhat amused. Part of me truly wished it could’ve ended there, even though I knew it was just the beginning, and another part felt bad for him. He might be a pain in the ass, but he was having a public allergy attack in an otherwise formal setting and a quick glimpse revealed that his nose was already taking on a pink tint. I had to remind myself not to stare. I could tell by the way his breathing was becoming more shallow and pronounced that he wasn’t done anyway.

“HEH’SCHhh’iewww!” He sneezed again, and I swear he was dragging it out to be extra long on purpose, perhaps to derail the meeting or perhaps to encourage someone to put out the incense. “Ihhtshh! Ktshh! Ihh’EHSCHhzh! Guh…excuse mbe guys. I think whatever’s burndi’gg is bothering my ndose,” he said. The way his congestion was already audible is still burned into my brain.

Suddenly my pants were too tight, as was my tie, but I did my best to sit in a way that concealed my reaction to it all. The incense was put out and the smell of smoke joined the original scent. I knew immediately without looking that: 1. he had not finished his original allergy attack and 2. this was about to make things worse.

“Do you have a tissue?” he asked our other coworker. She checked her bag and produced a few stray ones. He clapped his hands together and thanked her seriously and one of the higher ups in the company cleared his throat. They all really do not like S. I wouldn’t be surprised if they lit the myrrh incense (that’s what I think it was at least) just to torture him.

He blew his nose as the meeting went on and a few people turned their heads. I tried not to do the same.

“hYSSCH’hyuuh! Hahh’DTZschhiu! IHSHHhh’u!”

I had to memorize how it sounded for later, this took me far too long and half a glass of whiskey for me to attempt to spell it out.

When I glanced over at him, his glasses were hanging off the end of his nose, and the rims of his nostrils were obscured by the sodden wad of tissues he’d kept glued there. I couldn’t keep myself from looking, just tried to react as little as possible like the person next to me. If there weren’t someone sitting between us, I’m not sure that I would’ve been able to make it.

“A’ddy more?” I heard him whisper to our coworker. She had no more tissues, and I honestly felt bad for him. Especially when he sneezed again and tried stifling. It was poorly held back, and I could tell the tissues had outlived their usefulness and could no longer absorb anything.

I quietly offered him the handkerchief from my pocket. And he smiled at me before sneezing directly into it. It wasn’t particularly loud, but it was desperate, as if he’d been holding back until he had something to catch it with. I said bless you under my breath as evenly as possible since he’d been looking at me.

“Thank you [anon73]~” He smiled at me again and I looked away. One of the higher ups called recess and while he left the room, I was unable to leave my spot as I needed a moment.

He didn’t sneeze much more after that, but he did sniffle a lot. The events continued on loop in my head and I figured unless I write it down, I’ll continue to be burdened with it.

[hwang-lucas]

Continuation of WMMAP x Harvest Moon AU (Kinda) from here.

Dialogs with Mrs. Athy

Early morning 1: (Yawn) you're already up...? Good morning~ have some breakfast with us~

Early morning 2: Lucaaaas, where is my chocolate milk! Oh, hello! Have you seen my husband? He must've ran away after stealing my chocos!

Early morning 3: Good morning! Did you sleep well? Always start the day with sweets so you can have a sweet day. What? It's true! Lucas said so!

-

Morning, on her way to her Shop: What a nice weather we have today, I'm sure the flowers must be happy!

Morning, on her off days 1: During leisure time like this, sometimes I remember the people back home...

Morning, on her off days 2: Would you care to have tea with me? This Lippe Tea is best enjoyed with two people 💕

-

Working hours 1: Welcome to Lilian's Flowers! Today's (flowers depending on season) is especially enchanting.

Working hours 2: I'd recommend Tulips or Roses for your special ones, or Chrysanthemums for family. They're not in season? No matter, I always have some in stock. How? Trade secret ❤️

-

(Mrs. Athy will give different comments depending on which kind of Bouquet you requested. She won't give comments if you only buy flower)

Red (Rose/Camellias/Tulips) Bouquet: Dear me! For whom? Can I know? Good luck! Ohmygosh I'll be cheering for you! I need to tell Lucas. Lucas!!

Lily Bouquet: aren't they beautiful? Lily Bouquets are my favorite. They represent innocence, rebirth, and purity... but for me, they remind me of a mother's love.

Pink (Rose/Tulip/Nadeshiko) Bouquet: I'm sure your gratitude will be felt warmly. How about bringing something delicious to add and eat together? Having a family is wonderful.

Lavender Bouquet: I hope the receiver will feel better soon. Here, bring some Lippe Tea. I'm sure they'll feel more at ease.

-

On her way home after work 1: Everyone was so lovely, I'm glad we came here to Bluebell...

On her way home after work 2: What should I make for dinner tonight? Lucas really hates veggies, and that can't be good for him. Hmmm...

On her way home after work 3: Good evening! Are you done with work too? Don't forget to rest and take a breather, say hi to the animals for me💕

On her way home, off days 1: Talking with the village ladies is always fun. Reminds me of my friends back in Ob--my hometown. I wonder how are they doing? I suppose I will not find out.

On her way home, off days 2: Hehe, Daisy said I look like a Princess during class. Am I? I'm just an ordinary florist now.

-

Evening, at home 1: Good evening! Is something the matter? Join us for dinner! More people at the table is always better ✨

Evening, at home 2: At home, Lucas and Nox fights a lot for who gets to sleep on my lap. They can share... I have two laps...

Evening, at home 3: It's late, don't forget to lock up the doors and barns, sleep well with some lavender incense for sweet dreams... Hot chocos are better though!

Evening, at home 4: Lucas made dinner today, he said I looked tired. I wonder what did I do to deserve such a kind husband. He'll clean up and prepare the bath too. I wish I can repay him in some way.

-

Morning, rainy/snowy weather 1: Good morning! The weather is suitable for watering plants. Aah, my back can rest now~

Morning, rainy/snowy weather 2: Oops, this is a bad one. I can't open up shop like this. Well! Back to Archduke Vassilieff Novel I go! ... Don't tell Lucas, okay?

Afternoon, rainy/snowy weather: The aura is so gloomy and dark... I don't like this weather... Lulu? Where are you?

Evening, rainy/snowy weather 1: The only good thing about bad weathers is that I can enjoy hot chocos with marshmallows. Lit up the fireplace and... Aah, cozy... Come join me!

Evening, rainy/snowy weather 2: This is a perfect cuddle weather but my husband is cooped up in his study doing God knows what. Sigh...

[lost-boys-chapter]

I have successfully completed the twok reread!! got through the sanderlanche this afternoon. hoping to get through words of radiance before september as it's the last work month before many a school month meaning my free time is gonna plummet dramatically. anyway

I've not got a bunch to say about the end of this book, considering how much happens. I think most of what we actually learn in twok is resolved in the next few books. but of course who would I be without my rambles?

genuinely one of my favorite moments of this book was when kaladin went around the tower looking for someone in charge and when he couldn't find someone he just looked at one guy and went 'you're promoted.' my man does NOT have the authority and everyone knows it but they're just like. yeah sure why not. kaladin ily.

I do really feel for rlain at this point. not sure I ever really processed how shit his situation was when he revealed himself in (wor or ob?) cus by that point the carapace armor shit has passed but jesus fucking christ someone give that crab therapy. renarin I'm looking at u

KABSAL!! we've been knew by this point that I forgot about him but he was a ghostblood?? mind you not a very good one was he. that was a very cool reveal that I feel like. did actually hit harder in cool points the second time around.

think I'll def begin to enjoy dalinar's pov now again. he's so boring in twok I'm so sorry. but yeah

looking forward to shallan's pov chapters next book. I wasn't really paying attention to Team Scholar the first time around but knowing more of actually what's going on with them now they're like. crazy lore dropping left and right. I wanna see what I can glean from these two now I'm more invested in both their characters and their storylines.

I think wit is suspicious. but I love him. his epilogues are great. I fear his goals will be beyond all of our understanding until it's too late xxx

also the more I reread the more I buy into the city-shattering/continent shattering theory I've seen around. totally forgot about that vision that dalinar has where kholinar shatters. given it was the first one he had I suspect it might be an end-of-book event in kowt. but who knows Brandon's mind is unknowable!!

I've definitely been thinking a lot about the death rattles too. a couple of main thoughts:

does anyone else think the 'I hold the suckling child in my hands....and know that all who live wish me to let the blade slip....and with it gain us breath to draw' one leads into 'so the night will reign, for the choice of honor is life?' it definitely sounds like they're both referring to child champion theory. which I do hate as a theory but I see it.

I think the 'I'm standing over the body of a brother. I'm weeping. is that his blood or mine? what have we done?' one is usually agreed to be about gavilar but I think it's about kaladin and moash. I won't b elaborating.

also the 'I raise my hand. the storm responds' one could so be about dalinar if he becomes a fused. like he loses the battle but still retains some bondsmith powers and now uses them for ✨️evil✨️ or something. who knows.

anyway that's all for now, hopefully about 40% of it is coherent. will be reading the new preview chapters after work tonight or tomorrow but I'm hyped for them !!

[faofinn]

8. Persistent Fever

Part 1 | Part 2

With the drain in, Finn’s obs came up to a more acceptable level, the sedation they’d given him helping to keep him settled whilst they did it. With that sorted, they’d let Fao clean and even close the cuts to his head, talking softly to his brother as he did it all. He knew they’d bent the rules for him to let him do that, but he appreciated it. It certainly helped Finn out, and the nurse commented that he’d not been that settled or content. 

They’d got him a place on ICU, and soon enough he was taken up there. Fao followed wearily, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Finn was still very sick, that much was obvious. He knew ICU was the best place for him, but it was still worrying. Nobody wanted their brother in intensive care. Fao was worried about his seizures, too, but they said Steve would see him whilst he was admitted to try and control them. 

His fever was the most worrying, seeming to not get any better even with all of their treatments. It would take time, but for the moment, it was less than ideal. 

Steve appeared after a while, Finn’s case perplexing him. The discussion he'd had with the ED hadn't shed any more light on it, but the scans hadn't shown anything he was too concerned with. Of course there was the matter of his infection, the antibiotics he'd already been on apparently having done nothing. The chest drain was a necessary evil, but Steve couldn't help the worry about it and his seizures. Finn wouldn't be conscious, of course, but it wouldn't be pleasant for him to pull it out. 

Fao had settled at Finn’s bedside, exhausted from a long night and not a lot of sleep. He’d ended up resting his head on the bedrails, just to close his eyes for five minutes. At least he’d still be close to Finn, able to settle him if needed, or speak to the staff if they needed anything. 

Steve sighed as he saw the brothers, reminded of their first meeting so many years ago. He cleared his throat gently. "Knock knock."

Fao lifted his head, hair falling in his eyes. “Oh, Steve. Sorry, wasn’t asleep, I swear.”

"You don't need to apologise." He said with a smile. "You deserve the rest. How are you getting on?"

“Ah, y’know. Glad he’s got a bed now.”

"Yeah, of course."

“He’s settled now, at least.”

"He's had some sedation, hasn't he?'

Fao nodded. “And he’s finally stopped fighting it.”

"Bless him. I'd got a bed organised for him for the morning, your mum had said he was starting to struggle with absences and the paracetamol wasn't helping with his fever."

“When she called me tonight I assumed it was the big seizure we’ve all seen coming, but of course he had to be different.”

"Of course, it is finn, after all."

“Never a dull moment.” Fao said drily. 

"That's very true."

“I suppose he couldn’t let me have all the fun.”

"You and Harrison caused enough stress, I don’t need him joining in, and I bet She and Fred don't either." Steve managed to joke. 

“How is Harrison?” He asked. “Haven’t spoken to him in a little while.”

Steve's smile grew forced. "He's getting there. He's struggling a little with everything, but you know what that’s like."

“All too well. I’ll text him.” Fao said. “I’m guessing you’ve come to see Finn, I’ll stop distracting you.”

"Came to see both of you." He said softly. "There's not much neuro-wise I can do at the moment."

“Both of us? I hope I don’t need a neurosurgeon.” Fao joked weakly. 

"I'm not on the market for more patients." Steve joked back. 

“Good.” He murmured. “I’m good with my head intact, thanks.”

"Though I'm sure Sheila would be surprised to find you did have a brain." He teased, moving to Finn’s side. "Finn? Just Steve, you're okay."

Finn gave a groan, taking a moment to manage to open his eyes. He finally focused on Steve, gave a grunt in acknowledgement, and then rested his head back down. 

Fao reached across to squeeze Finn’s hand. “Steve’s checking up on you, eh?”

"It's a stupid question, I know, but how are you feeling?"

Finn made a noise, his voice muffled by the mask. "Tired."

Fao huffed a laugh. “You and me both, kid.”

"I don't blame either of you."Steve said. "Aside from tired? Any pain?"

"No." Finn shook his head. "Fuzzy."

"Like before seizure fuzzy, or after fuzzy?"

That was too much effort. "Both."

Fao couldn’t help but smile. “Always helpful, Finn.”

"How many have you had now?" Steve murmured, looking through the notes. "Right, I'll ask them to keep an eye on it, I'll change the lorazepam to immediately if he does. What's the valproate doing? Hmm, I'll add that too, his other levels are good, that's fine."

Steve trailed off, making a few notes before returning his attention back to the brothers. "Right, a bit of a plan for you two. They're gonna keep the sedation going anyway, make that a bit more comfortable for you, Finn. I'll increase your normal meds, the new one we're trying, and that should help keep them away. If you do have a seizure, we've got that management plan in place and ready. I've written you up for more pain relief too, so just ask. You don't have to wait until if you have a seizure." 

It was too much for Finn to pay attention, but he nodded all the same. "'Kay."

“Thank you, Steve.” Fao said, taking it all in. 

"Is there anything else you need from me? Or want me to do?" He asked gently. 

“No, no.” Fao murmured. “Other than tell the staff I’m a doctor that works here, none of them recognise me.” He couldn’t help the little laugh. “And obviously just keep looking after Finn.”

"I saw you'd managed to sort his lacs out, you did a good job." Steve said. "I'll make sure to let them know."

“They were great in ED.”

"I'm glad." He gave him a genuine smile. "I'll pop back later, see how the two of you are getting on."

“Thanks, means a lot.”

He hesitated before he left. "Hars wouldn't mind a text, and you're always welcome at ours."

“I’ll text him. Gotta keep myself entertained whilst sleeping beauty gets his rest.”

"Of course." He laughed. "Take care."

“And you.” Fao murmured, turning his attention back to Finn. 

Finn gave a grunt in acknowledgement that Steve had left, already mainly asleep. He struggled to get comfortable, tossing his head in frustration. 

“Here, let me help.” Fao said, standing up to fuss with Finn’s pillows. 

He caught Fao's eye as he helped, frustrated and tired and feeling rubbish. Fao fixed the problem though, and that earned a sigh in content, one thing less to complain about. 

With the pillows fixed, Fao moved to stroke through Finn’s hair, leaning over the bed to press a kiss to his forehead. He was still absolutely burning up, despite everything they’d done, and his hair was damp with sweat. He wasn’t quite as aggressive and delirious as he had been, but he certainly wasn’t well, and it seemed like everything they were doing wasn’t doing enough. 

Biting his lip, he sat back down, worry churning in his stomach. He kept his hand in Finn’s once he was settled, lifting it to press a kiss to his knuckles. 

“Love you, Finn. Don’t do anything stupid, please. Let’s get rid of this fever, it’s not doing you any good at all.”

[jeonqkooks]

for the obs drabbles... the first time in their relationship that jk felt jealous 👀

our beloved summer; a drabble

“What was that?” you demand, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“What?” Jungkook asks, like he doesn’t know exactly what you’re talking about. He swings his legs casually from his seat on top of your work desk, dangerous close to your second favorite mug that you brought to the library. If his hand shot up, the ceramic would definitely fall to the ground, shattering to pieces along with your sanity. You would probably kill him if it happened.

“You were so rude to Minho!”

“Was I?” He scrunches his nose and looks upward, making a face that’s just mocking you. “I don’t think I was.”

“Yes, you were,” you deadpan, glaring at him, serious as hell. “It was not cool. You were so mean the entire night. You practically shoved him out the door the second his shift was over.”

Minho is a new library assistant who just started 3 weeks ago. You don’t really have much in common with him, nor do you have any shared classes, so there’s not a lot to talk about when your shifts overlap. But he’s a nice guy and a comforting presence to be around.

Not tonight though, because Jungkook has been loitering around the library till now even after his classes ended at 3PM and your evening shift didn’t start until 6. He was very insistent that he be around today, even when you told him to just go home and call it a day.

“Jeon.”

“I told you not to call me that anymore.” He squints at you but you hold your ground. You don’t know what’s gotten into him today, nor why he bothered to stick around when he was going to act like this. He made sure to kiss you every time Minho so much as turned in your direction, even though you made him promise to cool it with the PDA. Jungkook was childish and rude and deserved to be smacked over the head. You could tell that Minho was so uncomfortable the whole time he was here.

“And I told you not to be an ass to my friend, but it seems like we can’t all get what we want.”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Oh? A couple of weeks ago, he was just “Minho the new guy” but now he’s your friend?”

Honestly? No. You think he’s probably an acquaintance at best, but if Jungkook wants to be a brat, then two can play at game. You’re nothing if not petty.

This probably shouldn’t be how you deal with real life problems, though.

“You heard me,” you say. “He’s my friend because he doesn’t embarrass me in front of other people.”

Jungkook chuckles humorlessly and hops off the desk. It only takes you a couple of long strides to walk toward where you’re standing, by one of the shelves with your little cart of books. He bypasses the cart to stand right in front of you, towering over your frame. You should be finishing up to go home, but instead you're here entertaining his temper tantrum.

You try to push him out of the way but he doesn't budge. "Move. I need to stack these."

Jungkook ignores you. "Did you know that your friend was going to ask you out tonight?"

"What?" you scoff. "Stop talking shit and admit that you were an ass for no reason, Jeon."

"Stop calling me th– Oh my god." He inhales sharply, visibly irritated. He pinches the bridge of his like you are the one supposed to be scolded here. The gall. "I'm serious. I heard him and his friends in the cafe. Said he thinks you're pretty and smart. And funny! Which we all know is an overstatement because you can be dry as fuck sometimes–"

You stare at him as he rambles on about your other traits that Minho found charming. Seems like Jungkook's ears really got a workout from all that eavesdropping. You watch the slight furrow between his brows and the pout on his lips as he talks like he's lecturing you, all annoyed and immature and most of all–

Hm?

Hmm.

Ah, so you see what this is. You should've seen right through him when he sent Minho that first dagger glare.

You bite back a smile.

"And you know what he said after that? He said you look like you would– Why are you looking at me like that?"

You narrow your eyes at him with a smirk and pat him on the cheek. "So you're jealous."

Jungkook's mouth falls open in shock like you just insulted his entire family. "Jealous? Of Minho? That guy?" he gasps.

"Mhmm. I can't believe I didn't realize that."

"You didn't realize shit because it's not true!"

"Then why were you mad at Minho?" you challenge.

Jungkook glares at you again. Deep down (maybe he doesn't even need to reach that deep) he knows you've got all figured out, but he won't admit it that easily. After all, he's the most stubborn person he knows.

"Because he should know where his place is," he says simply, then mutters under his breath something that you catch. "The balls to ask out someone who's got a boyfriend..."

"One, that sounds awfully like jealousy to me. And two, who says I have a boyfriend?"

Jungkook stares at you, so unimpressed that it's kinda funny. "Are you serious?"

You raise a hand over your chest. "As serious as a heart attack."

"Then what the fuck am I?"

You hum to yourself, pretending to be in thought. The look on his face tells you he's so goddamn frustrated right now. See? You can be pretty annoying too. It's fun to tease him. It's a lot less fun when you realize that you'd have to apologize for Jungkook's behavior the next time you see Minho, but that's a problem for later.

"I can name a lot of things that you are. A dumbass, a sore loser, not my boyfriend–"

"Y/N."

"What?" you ask, innocently batting your eyelashes at him. "I don't remember us having any conversation about the B word and G word."

"Fine. Then we're having that conversation right now. Be my girlfriend."

You scrunch your nose. "No, thanks. I'll pass."

You take advantage of Jungkook's momentary dumbfounded state to push him to the side so you can push the book cart to the next aisle. He stumbles a little and has to hold on to the shelve to regain his balance, but he catches up to you pretty quickly.

"Y/N!"

You keep moving though, humming a tune to yourself. It's driving him positively nuts and you're just relishing in it.

"Gotta work for the title, bud."

His footsteps stop, and this makes you stop too. When you turn around to see what he's doing, you find a blank look on his face. Before you can even raise an eyebrow in question, Jungkook's long legs are already taking three strides to get to you. His broad chest pins you against the bookshelf before you even know what's happening.

"Wha–"

Then his mouth is on yours.

One of his hands cups your face as he kisses you hard. You whimper in surprise, but your hands are already reaching for his waist, up his chest, around the back his neck and into his hair, where your fingers weave through the soft locks, tugging on them, making him groan against your lips.

You allow Jungkook to slip his tongue inside your mouth, eager to feel him closer. The butterflies go batshit insane, erupting in your belly, sending tingles from your head to your toes. His lips feel so nice that you can't help but press yourself further against his body. He alternates between soft and slow, hard and fast, and it's so goddamn addicting that you just want to keep chasing that feeling forever. Something in your chest somersaults.

It isn't until Jungkook pulls away that you realize you're in desperate need of air. You bite your bottom lip, trapped in a daze, staring at the smirk on his lips.

"Have I earned it?" he asks.

"Huh?"

His hand caresses your jaw. He leans closer again to let his mouth brush against yours and whoops, there they go again. The goddamn butterflies.

"Have I earned the title? Your boyfriend?"

You blink stupidly until you take in enough oxygen for your brain to work. Your fingers tighten on his hair as you say, "Kiss me like that again and I might reconsider."

Jungkook rolls his eyes but complies anyway.

No one even remembers who the fuck Minho is anymore.

[leiawritesstories]

It Was Supposed To Be Cute!!!

Part 2 to IS THAT A BABY?!......aaaaand a fill for the "proposal that ends up in the emergency room" prompt sent to @rowaelinprompts because I cannot resist. Mostly fluff except for the...incident 😈

Word count: ~1.5k

Warnings: language, pregnancy scares, emergency room

Enjoy!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Fireheart." Closing the apartment door behind him, Rowan dropped his backpack on the low shelf and crossed into the living room, stooping down by the couch to kiss Aelin's visible bump. "Hi, baby."

Aelin graced him with a sleepy smile. "Hi, buzzard."

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, pressing the back of one hand to her forehead, the med student in him worrying since he saw her taking a nap at six p.m.

"We're fine," she reassured him, taking his hand off her forehead and lacing it with hers atop her bump. "Your child is taking all my energy, and I needed to recharge."

"Okay." Calmed by her assurance, he helped her up enough to slide onto the couch behind her, his legs splayed around her hips, and cradle her in his warm embrace, his arms around her bump. She'd been almost fourteen weeks when they'd accidentally discovered her pregnancy in practical lab, and the OB she was seeing had reassured her over and over again that baby was perfectly healthy, the little one just hadn't made their appearance known yet.

Apparently, baby had taken that reassurance as their cue to appear almost overnight.

Aelin had gone to her sixteen-week ultrasound alone, still barely even showing, and less than a week later, she was sporting a definite baby bump. Rowan couldn't keep his hands or his eyes off of her when she began showing--the man was a complete and total sap, and she fell in love with him all over again watching him kneel in front of her and whisper to their baby.

Now, she was seven and a half months, and baby had decided that their new favorite hobby was making Mama either sleepy or hungry. "At least it's not nausea," Aelin often joked, laughing with her boyfriend when baby woke her up at two in the morning demanding one craving or another.

"What do you want for dinner?" Rowan mumbled into Aelin's hair.

She huffed a short breath. "Are you talking to the baby?"

"Of course," he chuckled. "We both know the little one is controlling your appetite now, love."

"Too bad she got your tastes," she sighed.

He raised a brow. "She?"

"Mother's intuition," Aelin grinned. "I know it's a girl."

"We'll see," he laughed, stroking her hair. "What do my girls want for dinner, then?"

"You," she smirked.

He coughed, sitting up and shifting her away from his lap. "Fireheart."

She giggled. "Mmm, we want pasta tonight. Help me up, Ro, I gotta pee."

Rowan watched his girlfriend slowly walk to the bathroom, grinning like the old sap he very much was before shaking himself out of the reverie and going into the kitchen. Aelin wanted pasta, so he'd make her some pasta.

Then he'd take her out for their nightly walk, go down to their favorite spot by the river, get down on one knee, and pour out his heart.

He was fucking terrified.

~

Aelin was a little grumpy as they went for their walk, blaming it on the way baby had made her eat a whole bowl of pasta and then given her indigestion. "I thought we wanted pasta, little one," she grumbled, rubbing circles against her bump.

Rowan rested one hand against the small of her back. "We're just going down to the river, love, and then you can sit down."

"Okay," she agreed, "but don't expect me to walk like a normal person. Your demon spawn is making that impossible."

He snorted a laugh. "My demon spawn?"

"S'what they're being right now," she sighed. "I don't know, maybe walking a little and watching the sunset will help. You like sunsets, don't you, baby?"

As if in affirmation, baby kicked, and Aelin's stomach settled a little. "I'll be damned," she sighed, "is that all you wanted?" She rolled her eyes at Rowan. "You did this to me, buzzard."

"And I'd do it all over again." He kissed her. "Maybe without the surprise part, though."

She grinned up at him and tucked herself into his side as they strolled down to the river.

When they reached their spot, a weathered wooden bench under a small stand of trees by the river's edge, Aelin loosed a huge sigh of relief as she sat down, stretching her legs out in front of her. "Gods, for wanting to go on a walk, you're sure discontented, little one."

Rowan sat by her side, stroking her bump. "Hey, why don't we let Mama rest, yeah? You've taken all her energy today, and Dad wants to enjoy the evening with her."

"You're an old sap, buzz--oof."

He was instantly kneeling in front of her, eyes wide. "What? Did something happen? Are you alright?!"

She exhaled slowly, pressing her thumbs into her hips. "Just a little round ligament pain, the doctor told me it was fairly common."

"Okay," Rowan breathed, his heartbeat calming. "Shit, that scared me."

Aelin traced her thumb along his cheekbones. "I'm okay, buzzard. I'm okay."

He leaned against her bump for a moment before standing up and brushing off his pants and turning out to face the river, taking a deep, steadying breath. You can do this, Whitethorn. You know you can.

"Ro?" Aelin's voice floated into his ears. "You with me?"

He turned back around to her, a soft little smile playing on his face. "I am. And..." Slowly, he lowered himself to one knee. "And I want to be with you forever, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, my Fireheart." Tears sprang into her beautiful eyes as she clamped one hand to her mouth in shock. "Will you marry me, Aelin?"

"Rowan," she breathed, disbelief and joy written all over her expression, "I--shit!" Her face morphing into pain, she doubled over, arms wrapping protectively around her bump.

"Shit!" Rowan yelped, shoving the ring he held back into his pocket and lunging for Aelin. "Shit shit shit, Fireheart, are you okay?"

She breathed deeply and shakily. "Ro, I'm gonna stay right here. Go back to the apartment and get the--ow, shit!--car. We're going to the emergency room."

"I'll be right back," Rowan promised, kissing her forehead before sprinting up the street. They lived only a short walk from the riverfront, so he reached the building in only a few minutes, sprinted into the garage, leapt into his car, and took half a moment to breathe before driving down to the riverfront to find Aelin still on the bench, still with her arms wrapped around her middle.

"I'm here," he panted, leaving the engine running as he jumped out and helped Aelin up off the bench and over to the car. "You're gonna be okay, Ae. You're gonna be okay."

"Just drive," she whispered, her eyes shut and her face tight in fear.

They got to the emergency room within twenty minutes. Rowan helped Aelin out and walked slowly and carefully with her across the parking lot and into the ER. "How bad is it?" he murmured.

She whooshed out a breath. "It's come a few times, nothing regular, just...pain. Like I might be having contractions but...I'm only seven and a half months, Ro, it's too early!" She clutched his hand, her eyes wide and terrified.

"Shh, we're here, it's gonna be okay," he promised, squeezing her hands as he led her up to the desk.

"A--Aelin Galathynius," Aelin said to the receptionist. "I think I'm--ow, gods--having contractions."

In a blur of rushed moments, she was lying down in a hospital bed, a nurse checking her for signs of labor. She tried to control her breathing, gripping onto Rowan like he was her lifeline.

"I'll be back with Dr. Smith soon," the nurse said calmly, disposing of her gloves and washing her hands. "You aren't in labor, Miss Galathynius, it's just Braxton Hicks. The doctor will tell you how to work with that." And she left.

Aelin's breath whooshed out in a giant huff. "It's not labor," she repeated, her body relaxing. "It's not labor."

"Gods," Rowan breathed, dropping down into the chair by the side of the bed. "Scared the hell out of me, that did."

She poked her bump, frowning a little. "Little one, you ruined your dad's proposal! It was supposed to be cute!"

"It...definitely wasn't what I'd envisioned," Rowan laughed, laying his hand atop hers on her bump.

She turned her head to smile at him. "I never even got to answer."

He linked his fingers with hers. "I can always recreate the scene, my love."

Tears pooled in her eyes. "That isn't necessary, Ro. I love you with everything I am, and yes, yes I will marry you." She sniffled, flicking a stray tear off her cheek. "Hell yes."

His rumbling laugh filled up the whole room. "I love you so godsdamn much, Fireheart."

"We love you more," she whispered, half-crying. "We love you more."

~~~

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