#now if only i could start clearing that to do list and have some guilt free time outside of work
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my coworker taught me how to get my school laptop to work at home and almost instantly my access to compass was removed (for unrelated reasons) so like, the continuing pattern of me accessing one helpful bit of teaching and another one disappearing repeats yet again
#im back to paper rolls until the it guy saves my butt#i will say tho in the grand scheme of everything i LOVE having printing access#genuinely life changing stuff#and i discovered the to do app that links with my emails? so that seems useful. it automates so much stuff.#now if only i could start clearing that to do list and have some guilt free time outside of work#god. i am Litchrally drowning in tasks. and all the tasks involve talking to someone bc im a baby that doesn't know how to do her job yet#but at least i don't have to ask someone to print the work off for me. i repeat - life changing stuff.#my post tag
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Why Am I So Hard On Myself? - Timeless ⏳
Breathe and choose. Left to right.
Kinda doing this one on a whim but figured it could help anyone who needs to be heard and have their doubts or feelings validated. You’re not alone. Does it say anything else about you?
TO ENHANCE ACCURACY BEFORE CHOOSING: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out.
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Pile 1 | “no matter how hard i try…”
somehow, something always goes wrong. you always try to salvage what you can, picking up the pieces and trying to make the most of the situation, but maybe the timing is shit, or it isn’t met up to standard. plans ruined, connections gone, opportunities lost. even when all you do is try and try. you might even think “why is this even happening? im only breathing”
small note: while shuffling, it was going pretty nicely then cards started flying out of my hands like fliers on a windy day. it’s a small thing, but to me, it has to do with having constant roadblocks and inconveniences, and that maybe you feel like you’re at your last straw sometimes
you want to be seen for your efforts. at least some acknowledgment that someone knows, sees, and understands that you’re trying. someone to hear you out for once and take you seriously, even if none of what you’d done or contributed has worked before. just acknowledgment would be enough. maybe you’re the only one who recognizes your efforts.
i think you struggle with maintaining career, friendships, or really anything, in general. the foundations laid out might’ve been risky or unstable to begin with so you could question why things don’t last for you. a part of you expects the heartbreak to happen.
it’s crazy bc in this pile, there’s so much…optimism and hope (that might be dying out or feels like it has already) that one day something will work out
your heart isn’t completely closed and you’ll still have it open to accept things, even when you think it shouldn’t. this is what makes you a stronger person. it opens a wide range of doors for you, whether you know it or not. don’t give up.
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Pile 2 | “look out!”
you’re so used to prioritizing others and putting yourself last. bc of this, you could’ve missed out on many things and lost opportunities
you have a big heart and hella good energy — an abundance of it — but for some reason, it’s rarely spent on yourself
you feel like it’s your responsibility, all of it — to run or lead things, as if it’s all in your hands. to take over when things are about to fall apart. who made it your responsibility to carry the burdens of others? what happens then if they don’t reciprocate or return the same generosity?
all of this energy is being redirected to the wrong places when you should be thinking about yourself too. how can you help others when you can’t even help yourself? how about your own dreams and goals? you’re human too, so you need the care and support as well. your energy doesn’t just grow on trees. put yourself high on your own list. make yourself a priority for once. book a spa day and have someone else take over for the day.
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Pile 3 | *whistling*
for this pile, it seems to be more family related, where your pursuits, outlooks, or the way you treat yourself is how you were treated growing up. there’s some connection to pile 2 as well, so there could be some messages in pile 2 for you if it caught your eye
parent(s)/caretakers put a lot of pressure on you with crazy expectations or nitpicking, sometimes maybe even emotional manipulation like guilt tripping
there’s a need to take more charge in your life, especially in the creative and emotional corners of it, and also to create more meaningful and deep connections
some people in this pile might be easily defensive as well too. in this lifetime, you’re gonna learn to put your guard down, bc perhaps you’d grown up feeling trapped and forced into a mold you didn’t belong in
you could struggle with emotional commitment or generally sticking to one thing. there are probably too many things you wanna do or end up trying at least once. relationships might not last too long. there could even be a subconscious fear that you won’t be able to meet someone else’s emotional needs or standards.
you’re very spontaneous and prob get bored easily. also prob struggled academically (ex: having a hard time understand in subjects, sticking to one thing/constantly changing interests or majors, feeling trapped, giving up)
you’re lowkey a perfectionist. perhaps you’re never satisfied bc you grew up with that kind of dissatisfaction on yourself, likely by adults or maybe just things you’d picked up from adolescence
at some point, you might reflect back and feel disappointed in yourself, even if you’d just had the time of your life. it seems like this pile indulges in more superficial activities/substances to fill in the void in that chest
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ending teddy note: hey guys! been a while but here’s a pac for ya!! i think this is a great pac if you don’t have someone to acknowledge the potential issues going on in your life. thank you for taking the time to read this and i really hope you enjoy it! rmr to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. ciao!! :P
i would appreciate the feedback! lemme know what you got or think in the comments or reblogs 🦾
- The Tedster
#daily tarot#tarot advice#tarot blog#tarotblr#tarot reading#free tarot#divination#witchblr#pac tarot#pick a pile#pick a card reading#pick a photo#pick a picture#pick a card#tarot community#tarot#tarot witch#spirituality#spiritual growth
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would it be alright if you were to write a fluff(maybe smut?) hancock x reader who has adhd who's just overwhelmed with quests and doesn't know which one to do first? Lol please and thank you:)
Of the People, For the People
John Hancock x ADHD!GN Reader (FLUFF!!)
CW: reader struggles with their ADHD, John thinks it’s cute, cursing, guilt, restlessness, slight OOC Hancock, slight suggestive themes towards the end, fluff, possible grammatical/spelling errors, briefly proof read
AN: as someone with ADHD this ask actually really hit home. It was half the reason why I could never start games like Fallout and Skyrim in the first place was because there are so many things you can do, the idea alone was overwhelming to me because I knew it’s start and never finish just about everything pushed my way. Then the TV series came o it and all that changed upon the simple acquirement of a hyperfixation on the ghoul and thus my love for fallout was born! 😂 I am still rather new to Fallout games, lore and such so please be gentle if I have gotten anything wrong, I’m still doing my best at learning everything I can to write these well and properly! But I hope I did your ask some justice with this Anon! Hope you all enjoy some more love for our Mayor Hancock. 🥰
Tag-list: @expirednukacola
“Ugh, there’s just too much to doooo” you whined as you plopped down onto his bed in the state house, exhausted and sore all over from setting up not one, not two, but three whole settlements in one day. Of course it wouldn’t be a day out in the commonwealth if you hadn’t run into monstrosities along the way or people along the way to other settlements who needed other things from you. For instance, there was someone who needed saved from thinking they were a synth and returned to their parents, other people who needed help getting their settlements started, people who needed you to kill some super mutants, people who needed you to eliminate some feral ghouls some place else, and after that you couldn’t even remember if you tried. Thank goodness for your Pip-Boy keeping track of these things or else you feared you’d never remember it all. There was just so much that others, especially Preston, were asking of you to do out here that it was beginning to become just a bit too overwhelming to take on all at once. You loved that you could be help for people, so unfortunately you never really paid your own wellbeing any mind until now that it was at such a detriment you could hardly even think straight, much less accurately hit a target or properly even speak to someone without sounding like intelligence was your dump stat. You wanted ever so badly to be that light for people who had seemed to lose hope because it’s what you would want others to do for you if you were in need. You lived and breathed by that golden rule taught to you so long ago. Come to think of it, the only person who you’d done everything for last that you could remember was Hancock, which was actually how you two ended up together.
“Being commander of the Minutemen will do that to ya, sunshine” Hancock teased, leaning against the door frame as he looked at you, tiredly splayed out on his bed in amusement, finding it funny that the commander of such a large militia could be so…well, you. Anyone else would likely be overwhelmed with power to the point of paranoia, or the opposite and let it go to their head and break them of the person they once were, but you were still yourself through everything. He admired the way you wanted to help people, the way you helped the poor and needy in the ways he wished the rich would do, but he could tell it was taking a clear toll on your wellbeing in doing so. He genuinely couldn’t remember the last time you told someone no, or that you flat out just couldn’t help them because he could see that look in your eyes when someone asked you for help. He saw the sympathy, the pain, saw the way you felt so bad knowing that if you didn’t, they likely wouldn’t make it out in the harsh world of the commonwealth. His heart ached for you in that sense, because he remembers a time when he wanted to help everyone in his town that he could, any way he could, hell it was the whole reason he became the mayor of Goodneighbor in the first place. But just like you, he needed someone to make him realize that you can’t do everything, some things just have to play out and fix themselves on their own. “But I think you need to take a break from it for a day or two, give yourself a chance to recoup. You’re working’ yourself to death and I’m startin’ to get worried” he added, walking into the room to join you and he watched you sit up, looking completely defeated and worried at the idea of not helping others or running things for just a day, let alone two but also at the fact that now he was concerned for you. “But they need me, John. If I don’t help them…what would become of them? What kind of leader would I be to just leave them in shambles? I can’t live with the idea of lives lost because of me…” you said with a guilty tone, clearly torn between the idea of helping yourself or helping others, and the sweet innocence of your good natured personality made him smile softly as he closed the door behind him and sat down next to you on his bed.
“Even heros need a vacation, love. Helping people who won’t make it is wonderful, it’s one of the many things I love about you. But people can just as easily be hurt when they’re guided in the wrong direction because the person directing them isn’t taking care of themselves the way they need to. A good leader needs strength sure, but that strength depletes and needs replenished every now and again, and that’s okay” he said, grabbing your hand in his, squeezing it in the hopes to offer you some level of comfort to assure you his words meant no harm, he simply just wanted you to look out for yourself as much as you looked out for others around you. He knew it got through to you when he heard you exhale an audible deep breath you’d been holding in for so long. “I guess, I just…I don’t know. It feels extra difficult for me because I can never stay focused on just one thing. I get started on one project, then someone comes along and I get so side tracked trying to help them that I forget all about where I started! I probably have twenty of these damn missions at least half started before I dropped them for something else entirely. It’s so frustrating and overwhelming because then they all start to pile up, and then I don’t know where to start!” you explained, making him laugh. Who would have ever guessed his big, fearless commander of the Minutemen, partner was easily sidetracked by their ADHD. But he wouldn’t want you any other way. “Yet you completed everything I asked of you with no issue” he pointed out with a smug grin, making you blush at the realization that he noticed that. “Well…yeah. I did it because I liked you and wanted to get closer to you. I was fixated on it because I wanted it to better my chances of being with you, so to me it wasn’t work. It was just doing something that you, someone I care for, asked me to do, so I did it” you admitted bashfully, making him smile at the wholesome reason you gave him. “That’s so fucking cute” Hancock replied as he put his arm around you, pulling you into his side, making you blush even more before covering your face with your hands. “It’s cute until you realize I killed someone for you” you quipped with a grin once you’d moved your hands away to look at him, making him chuckle at your reply. “Made it even” he joked, referring to when Finn tried to haggle you when you first showed up to Goodneighbor. “Fair enough” you responded as you chuckled, but he could still tell that you hadn’t fully come around to the idea yet, something still had its hold on you but at least you started to open up to the idea.
“C’mon, let’s just take the next couple of days to relax. The settlements will be fine, they run pretty well on their own, I’m sure they can survive a day or two without you. Maybe Nick or Codsworth can run ship while you take the time to yourself” he said, making you lean your head against his shoulder as you contemplated it. “Poor Codsworth, I wouldn’t do that to him. He tended to my house for two hundred years despite the absolute state of decay it was in from the explosions, thinking the family would come back any day and it drove him nearly mad. I could only imagine what running settlements would do to him” you said, making him chuckle. “Okay then how ‘bout Nick? He’s traveled with you long enough, he’s a smart guy, I’m sure he could handle it. I’m sure he’d more than understand that you need some time to yourself to get back that good ol’ fighting spirit” he added. “You think so?” You asked skeptically, making him sling his arm around your waist to hold you close and help ease your nerves the best he could. It was times like these that you wished you had the confidence and aloof attitude Hancock had about just about everything. “I know so. Think about it, you set them up, taught them what they know, they already manage pretty well on their own, they got this! Just lay back and relax for a change!” he said, easing your nerves just a little bit more at the idea. For someone who never wanted a leader to be too comfortable, he really wanted you to be, it was strange yet heart warming to see how much he cared about you and wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself. So you finally gave in, maybe a couple of days to relax and do what you wanted to do didn’t sound bad after all. Maybe you could enjoy a couple of drinks one night, or hell, maybe enjoy just sleeping in a bed two nights in a row for a change, give your body a rest from sleeping on the cold hard ground in a sleeping bag. And not have to worry about all the things floating around in your mind that need done. That sounded like heaven to you once you convinced yourself with Hancock’s help that it could really be useful. “Okay, but if I do, I can’t just lay in bed all day. I literally can’t, I’ll go crazy” you said, making him laugh, knowing the way you can’t sit still for more than a few minutes at a time just on the regular while you’re on the go. “We don’t have to, these couple of days are for what you wanna do sunshine. Though I wouldn’t mind it of course if we spent all of it in bed, but staying in bed all day doesn’t necessarily mean *just* sleeping, ya know” he said, his voice slipping into that characteristic deep, gravelly suggestive tone with a mischievous grin painting his thin, irradiated lips as he pulled you into his side, making you laugh. “John!” You said, seemingly flabbergasted at his reply, but truthfully you hadn’t expected anything less from him. “Oh you know I love it when you yell my name, keep doin’ it sunshine” he said flirtatiously with that ever recognizable smirk painted across his face as he crawled on top of you on the bed, littering your face and neck with kisses through a shared fit of laughter. Maybe a little break wouldn’t be so bad after all.
#fallout#fallout x reader#asks#fallout 4 companions#fallout 4#john hancock x reader#john hancock#fluff
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what about me? | ph
part two here!
As Y/N approached the group, her heart sank a little deeper. She had been waiting all day, her phone tightly gripped in her hand as she stared at Pope’s name, willing it to light up. But instead of the buzz she had hoped for, there was only silence. She had told herself to be patient, to understand that he was busy, but after hours of waiting, the disappointment had settled in.
“You know when your phone buzzes, it means I’m trying to talk to you, right?” Y/N’s voice was calm, but her eyes held a mix of hurt and frustration. She stopped in front of the group, her eyes searching Pope’s, hoping to find a shred of recognition, of understanding.
Pope turned to her, his face instantly registering the guilt. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he said, his hands rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “We got some new information and I’ve just been running around—”
“Really, Pope?” Her voice cracked slightly, the weight of her disappointment starting to slip through the cracks of her steady composure.
“I know, and I’m sorry. I really am—”Before he could finish, Kie’s voice broke through the tension. “Cmon, Pope!” she called out from the Twinkie, the urgency clear in her tone.
Pope’s eyes flickered between Y/N and his friends, torn between two worlds that seemed to be pulling him apart. “Y/N, I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he pleaded, taking a step closer, his hand reaching for hers. “But right now, I have to go.”
“What about me?” Y/N didn’t move, her hand limp in his as her eyes bore into his, searching for the boy she had fallen in love with. “What’s today, Pope?” she asked quietly, her voice softer now, a trace of vulnerability seeping in.
Pope blinked, confused. “Baby, what do you mean?”
Her heart ached at his cluelessness. “What is today, Pope?” she repeated, her voice firmer this time, the hurt now clear.
Pope glanced over his shoulder as the Twinkie honked impatiently, Kie and JJ waving for him to hurry up. His mind was a mess, filled with maps and plans, the chase of another adventure. "I'm sorry, but I have to go."
Y/N stood frozen, watching as he took a step back, then another, before he broke into a jog toward the van, leaving her standing there alone. Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched the beat-up van pull away, Pope’s figure disappearing into the distance. He was out chasing adventures once more, and she was left behind, again, waiting for him to come back. But this time, the weight of his absence felt different. He wasn’t just missing a casual hangout—he was forgetting them. She was last on his list of priorities once again.
It wasn’t until the van had turned the corner, the echo of the horn fading, that it hit Pope. His heart dropped into his stomach as the realization crashed over him. It was their anniversary.
He cursed under his breath, feeling the heavy pit of guilt that had already begun to form. All day, she had been waiting for him. Not just to hang out, but for a day that meant so much to them. And he had missed it—he had missed her. All because of another adventure. All because he couldn’t balance his world with hers.
Back on the street, Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, a single tear slipping down her cheek as she stared at the place where Pope had been just moments ago. She had been waiting for him—waiting for him to choose her, just this once. She wanted to be enough for him, but every time, it felt like she was competing with his need for something more, something bigger. And she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she would never be enough.
But deep down, she loved him. Even now, with her heart breaking, she loved him with everything she had. And maybe that was why it hurt so much—because she couldn’t stop loving him, even when he kept forgetting the things that mattered.
As Pope rode in the van, his mind racing, he knew he had to make things right. He couldn’t let Y/N slip away. She was his anchor, the one person who grounded him when the world felt like it was spinning too fast. He had taken her for granted, but now he knew, more than ever, that he couldn’t afford to lose her.
His heart pounded as he made a silent promise to himself, to her—he would fix this. He would remind her that she was always the most important part of his world. Even when he was too caught up to see it, Y/N was the one he loved. The one he needed. And he would spend every day proving that to her, starting now.
#pope heyward#pope heyward x reader#obx cast#outer banks#pope heyward x you#pope heyward x y/n#obx#pope heyward prompt#pope heyward fluff#pope heyward fanfiction
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The Windows To My Soul [8]
pairing: OT8 x fem! reader
genre: soulmates, fluff, crack, creeping in angst
warnings: Please read the 'Summary' of this series, all are listed there!
word count: ~3.8k
summary: You make new discoveries about your freshly formed soulmate bonds, something that seems as surreal as the boys' behaviour towards you.
↳ Masterlist ↳ Next chapter ↳ Previous chapter
All rights reserved. Please do not steal, repost or feed my work into AI. Thank you!
The car ride back to their hotel was silent. Correction: I was silent, they talked, but even their voices were more hushed than usual. The emotions inside my chest still whirled, like an aimlessly raging storm that calmed down one second, then became worse in the next one. It was confusing, as if the emotions weren't even my own.
Arriving back into their big living room -this was such a rich hotel, i swear-, I looked around for my backpack and sure enough, it was on the coffee table. Quickly opening and searching through it, I found my phone. Shakily unlocking the screen, my complexion paled rapidly as I noticed the countless calls and messages from my friend.
This was what I had been worried about.
You see, we had this whole trip planned out, wanting to go to several places the three or two of us together -depending if her boyfriend wanted to third wheel-. But then I suddenly disappeared and it was almost time for us, well, for them, to go back home.
I couldn't imagine the worry I’d caused my friend, who I cherished dearly.
With worried, pleading eyes, I looked around for anyone near my vicinity, needing an answer to my question immediately.
"What should I tell everyone?"
It was vague, but they had to have understood. And they seemingly did, if their reactions were anything to go by, their bodies around me close and shifting awkwardly.
"I'm…. Sigh This is such a mess." - I could only agree with Chan as he slid a hand down his face, stretching the skin there in frustration.
Just think about it. I couldn't tell anyone the truth, not yet at the very least, not until JYP made an official statement that SKZ found their soulmate. But saying anything other than the truth would make my friend suspicious; she was rightfully protective of me, and would be able to spot my lies right away. What could I tell her? If I said I was injured, she would postpone her flight just to check up on me. If I said the truth, the company would have my head instead.
Nothing seemed proper, and the boys knew it too.
They all just kept silent, pondering with complicated expressions. It was painful to watch them all silently think, guilt so clear on some of their faces that I could feel it in my soul.
But then my phone vibrated, and we were out of time.
I hesitantly picked it up, holding the device up to my ear with uncertain hands. A shaky hello left my lips, only to be met with silence.
A silence that lasted for a mere second, if that at all.
As if empowered by the gods themselves, my friend started loudly speaking, my poor ear suffering from it. Her words were all over the place, fast and in several languages, my exhausted brain having a hard time keeping up and translating for myself. She went on for a few more minutes, asking more and more questions in a worried tone, not even leaving me a chance to answer them.
So I let her go on, until it was finally silent again.
"Hey, I'm okay now. Listen, you know you can trust me, yeah?" - my quiet voice asked her. "Uhm, yeah, of course. Why? You're scaring me. Tell me, what happened?" "Know that I will tell you and everyone else everything when I can. I am fine, will be fine, don't worry about me. Just please, trust me. I'll tell you when I get the chance, okay? I'll keep in touch, don't worry about that, ye?" "... why does this sound like a goodbye in those shitty bl manhwas?"
A small laughter broke free from my chest at that.
"It isn't, I swear. Now promise me. Please." "... alright. But if you lied, I will not hesitate to print and put up Chan and Jisung pics into your room!" "Jesus christ, no, naur, please, not that, anything but that! Holy fucking shit!”
A loud groan left my lips as I dragged my other hand down my face, unable to resist the urge to lightly slam my head into the table right before me. The furniture gave out a small noise as I collided with it, as if reprimanding me itself.
“Anyway, you two go, have fun on the remainder of your trip, then go home. If anyone asks, tell them I got an irrefusable job offer. I mean, that is half true, so, yea. Anyway, really, have fun, take pics cuz I wanna know. Talk to you later, bye-bye." "Ah, alright, okay. Wait, you're not coming with us?" "Uuuhhh… yeaaa, naah." "What the fuck do you mean yea nah?! What did you get yourself into?" "... just know that I'm okay. We'll meet again someday, don't worry, I'm not kidnapped." - I lightly laughed, knowing that I was, in fact, being actually kidnapped.
"Fine. My threat still stands. If you don't text me frequently, I will also hunt you down with Jisung pics." - she answered after a few beats of thinly stretched silence. "Girl, shush, really, stop with the pics! You're gonna be the death of me!"
She only laughed at that, all the while I cursed her out with probably red cheeks. Eventually, we said our goodbyes, allowing me to let out a big sigh and drop my head onto the table once again.
"Everything good?" - Felix's voice asked from somewhere behind me, reminding me that they were still there.
Oh god they were still there.
Mortified, I twisted my torso around and looked at them.
"You didn't hear what she said, did you?" "Nah, at one point you took the volume down so much we heard no sound coming from your phone." - Jisung answered, confusion clearly seen on his face. "Why?" "Nothing, Seungmin, really, no reason. I mean, yes reason, but none for you. You guys shall never know." "Eeh? C'moooon!" "Puppy eyes don't work on me, Felix!" "Oh I bet it was about her bias." - Changbin butted in, that signature smirk on his face.
My eyes widened as I stared at him, my lips drawing into a thin line as I was just frozen there, becoming a statue of embarrassment.
"Wait, I'm right?"
Chaos ensued, giving me no chance to deny his statement. Even if it wasn't true, the boys would've believed it no matter what, now that the situation had escalated like this. Curse you and your sixth sense, dwaekki.
Even after several minutes of me just silently sitting there, they kept nagging me, no matter what I did. They didn’t stop at all, not even when I turned back around, my back now facing them, my head once again comfortably resting on the cool surface of the table.
Gosh, they didn't let up, did they?
But eventually, they slowly calmed down and left to their rooms, probably to pack their things. They did speak amongst themselves and a bit to me, but I was too drained to catch what words left their mouths. But now their lack of presence gave me some breathing room, to get my brain to work and to focus on those uncomfortable, swirling feelings inside my chest.
It was as if they tightly wrapped themselves around my heart, squeezing it in demand. With each passing second they were becoming significantly brighter, more positive than they had been the past few hours. It confused me, but also tickled my fanfic-lover brain.
I had a sneaking suspicion that not all these emotions were my own, so I focused on one and tried to analyse it.
This one was the most prominent feeling, so obviously not stemming from me. It was too bright and nice for that; just the mere presence of it lifted my depressed spirits.
Tracing it back slowly, step-by-step, imagining the emotion as a ribbon, woven together by endless, bright strings of light. A certain warmth filled up my whole heart, washing over it like a tidal wave and letting it drown inside. My breath got stuck in my throat, even if only for a second, but I couldn’t let it stop me. No, I couldn’t give up so easily, so I focused harder, the strings becoming clearer and the warmth turning nearly scorching. The golden ribbon of light that I fought so hard for to appear led me to a petite form, his aura just like the emotion itself.
It was the sunshine incarnate himself.
Happy that my theory seemed to be correct, I opened my eyes and rested my chin on the table, instead of my forehead. A silent, yet heavy breath left my being, the scorching feeling leaving my lightly scorched form. The room felt hot, but thankfully it was feeling cooler and cooler by each passing second.
"Why so happy, but tired so sudden?"
Oh, I didn't even realise Changbin was still here, his question catching me off-guard. I just shook my head as an answer after sitting up properly -my hood falling down-, facing the man sitting on the couch behind me.
He seemed to let the topic go as he pocketed his phone and slid down next to me, not caring that he was now sitting on hard floorboards, even if carpeted. His expression was uncharacteristically soft, no hint of teasing or anything on his face. I couldn't help but stare at him, not even flinching as his hand gently brushed against my mask, the digit hovering above it, uncertain.
"I told you you're cute under there. No need for mask." - his voice was equally gentle, causing my eyes to widen in surprise.
The man before man wasn’t his usual loud, brash self, all those sharp edges now hidden, allowing me to catch a glimpse at the softness hiding inside. I nearly leaned into his hand, those dark nebulas of his so alluring and gentle that for a moment, just for a single moment, I had forgotten who I was speaking with.
But the moment was gone and I forced myself to look away from him, a task I never had so much trouble with prior to this moment. My head nearly moved on its own, silently denying his claims with the smallest of movements. How couldn't I? Even if I was the most confident person about my own looks, these people all saw me bedridden, in a hospital. Not exactly your prettiest moments in life.
"But you are. I no lie." - he confidently whispered, running a thumb under my eye.
I couldn't help but lightly laugh at that, unable to believe his claims.
"If no believe, then I say it so much you will."
Changbin seemed to have made up his mind, giving my tired self no choice but to silently accept it. He looked proud at that, satisfied as I didn't protest against it. With one final movement, he tucked a stray hair strand behind one of my ears, something on his arm catching my eye.
It was his soulmate tattoo, peeking out from his short sleeve and racing down towards his lower arm.
The ink lines were fine strands, ribbons snaking around his arm, weaving together playfully, always finding the others, even after splitting up countless times. Their surface glistened in the artificial warm light, the black ink sometimes seeming like the night sky, sparkling with stars.
He probably caught me staring, because he lifted his arm into my view, his other hand reaching for mine and holding it there after tucking up my sleeve.
"I know it's scary, but we here for you. Pretty tattoos are proof of our love."
How could he say such a thing so lightly?
I could only look back at him, taking his hand in mine and tracing the shapes over with the gentlest of touches. I didn't know what to do, especially with feelings, never really did. I was bad at them, usually pushing them away and bottling them up, something that never failed to lead to a disaster. So I hoped this, this little action of mine would let him know that I cared.
Because I truly did.
Footsteps were soon heard, several other members joining us in the living room with their luggages.
"Hyung, you can go pack." - Felix said, taking the short male's place next to me.
But only after Changbin sent me the brightest of smiles, causing warmth to take root inside my chest.
"Did Hyung do anything while we were away? Nothing happened?" - the young aussie's voice was warm and gentle, a teasing lilt grappling onto its edges.
I shook my head, watching as Chan made his way to my other side, walking around the couch to get there. He promptly sat down, his eyes set on us with a small smile resting on his face.
God damn it, not the dimples, not my weakness. But next to them was something new, something that I was sure wasn't on Chan before. It was at the edge of his face, running down over his jawbone and neck, disappearing into his shirt.
Thin, matte black lines littered his skin, converging and breaking away, as if a cracked surface. Around them were countless little stars, glinting when the light hit them just right.
It fit him painfully well, his ambitious self always shooting for the stars, despite everything.
I found myself raising a hand towards it, carefully hovering nearby. His smile only softened, placing his head in my hand, startling me. I quickly looked up into his eyes, scared, but I was only met with endless kindness and warmth.
So I focused back on the dark lines, tracing my thumb over them.
It was beautiful.
All their tattoos I had seen so far were. I didn't see myself in them, not understanding how I had a part in creating these beautiful creations, my mind having already denied Jisung’s prior words in the hospital. It just all seemed impossible in my eyes.
As if sensing my thoughts, Chan raised a hand towards my own neck, gently running a finger over the skin resting there.
"You have it too, y'kno'. Pretty, like you are."
I could only make a quiet, confused sound at that, caught by surprise and disbelief.
Did just two 3racha members compliment me in the last few minutes?? Was I somehow transported into a weird dating game?!?
Chan's laughter rang through the air, followed by the others' who were in the room. Right, they were here too, right. Fuck.
"You're so flustered already. Did Bin say something similar?"
I nodded at him, pulling my hand away and facing the table again, a furniture I was starting to take a liking to with how familiar I was becoming with it. Looking at those unchanging lines in the wood was still a much better choice than facing these teasing men.
"Hyung, don't fluster her already, you're gonna scare her off!" - Felix reprimanded the leader, like a mom would her child. "Hey, I was just stating the obvious! As if you wouldn't say something like that to her too!" "Don't try to put the blame on me mate!" "I wasn't, and you kn–"
Before Chan had a chance to finish his sentence, Minho chucked a pillow at them both and amusedly pointed at me.
Me, who was halfway through crawling under the table. Sending a quick glare at him, I quickly slipped under the furniture, laying on my side and facing away from the boys, tugging the hoodie that sat on my head further down, if that was possible. Ah, yes, the sight of the slightly dusty floor and the lower half of the cabinets was much better.
"Hey, Eevee, come out please."
I just made disagreeing hums at Felix's request, feeling my whole face burning up. Even in my current confused and tired state, I was flustered as hell. And no matter how much they tried to coax me out, I didn't budge, no, I instead curled up into a smaller ball, if anything.
Just as one of them changed positions to try and face me, others came into the room, if their loud footsteps were anything to go by.
"Hey, uh… What's going on?" - Jisung's voice rang throughout the place, making me hide into my palms even more.
Minho answered him in korean, something I didn’t understand, besides the amused tone of it all. The betrayal, I bet he outed me. And I was right, as the new arrivals soon started laughing as well, Jisung joining the aussies at the table, while Jeongin and Seungmin sat with the cat. I thought so at least, based on the noises and voices I had heard.
"Come on Eevee, don't hide. If you get this flustered from only this much, you won't last long."
What was that supposed to mean, you lil quokka?!
I just stared at his face with wide eyes through my fingers, only seeing him laugh even harder at my reaction, nearly falling onto his back from the force. He spoke with the others in korean after calming down, their conversation letting me calm myself a bit as well.
I felt like the embodiment of a keyboard smash.
My thoughts and feelings were all over the place, the fact that I apparently felt the others' emotions not helping in the slightest. If I wasn’t in a public place, I would have let out a low whine, my pounding head and hurting joints silently screaming in agreement.
But just as I was calming down and detangling these feelings, a loud dwaekki arrived back into the room. I had no idea what any of the boys saying, but soon enough, the table from above me disappeared. I could merely stare at a very smug and slightly offended Changbean, as he just put the table away and picked me up.
Like, straight up just plucked me from the ground, as if I was a ripe vegetable ready to be harvested.
Acting as if I weighed nothing at all, even though with my height, that was impossible. The man simply moved me around in his arms and sat down facing the others, plopping me into his lap. His arms were around me as I sat there, my legs against my chest, as if it was his silent message towards me: you cannot escape, don’t even try.
"What the fuck just happened?" "She speaks!"
I shot an unamused glare at Felix, immediately shutting him up as he shot his hands up into the air in defence. Changbin just amusedly huffed behind me, his head now firmly placed onto my shoulder, something he couldn’t exactly do when we were standing, thanks to my giraffe-like height.
He seemed content to just hold me there, so I put my own head on top of my knees and watched as the others bickered. I seemed to have become a silent spectator of the group once again, although I didn’t mind it, used to it all. The mere thought of being an active participant of this liveliness exhausted me, making me relax more into the idol’s unbreakable hold. And yet, even with all that, the boys tried to speak in english. I could tell even in my tired state and I appreciated it, but since not all of them were fluent in it, they switched back to korean a lot.
I really had to learn korean or something…
“Right, right, whatcha wanna eat, Eevee?” - Jisung excitedly asked, drawing everyone’s attention to me. “Mh, he’s right. We can order it, so don’t worry, choose anything.” - Chan added in, his hand already fishing out his phone that was tucked away safely into his pocket.
Just as I was about to say that no, I wasn’t feeling hungry -probably from all the stress-, I caught Minho’s glare and my jaw tightly shut itself together. I knew he was the mom of the group, feeding the others being part of his love language, but this was just straight up frightening.
“Minho hyung, stare into her soul longer and she will dig a hole to hide in.” - Seungmin said as he slapped the mentioned cat on the shoulder, annoyance clear in his voice. “But eating important.” “That, I cannot argue with.”
Great, I still had no choice, but at least my soul wasn’t being stared down at.
…
What was I supposed to eat??? As a recovering patient, it had to be something more on the light side, but I wasn’t familiar enough with the japanese kitchen to know which dishes would fit into that category.
“... will you guys eat too?”
They collectively nodded, affirmative answers leaving their lips after a quick glance was shared between them. Changbin lightly squeezed my middle he was still holding onto, the hum that left his throat comfortably tickling my back.
Good, I wouldn’t feel weird and a big burden then, ��making’ them order just for me.
“Do they have something light, like onigiri?” - I asked, my voice sounding way too vulnerable and quiet. “Mhm, good. You’re allowed to eat that as well, so I’m glad you chose this.” - Chan replied with a gentle smile painted onto his lips.
The leader then proceeded to list off the different fillings it could have and made me choose several, just in case. He said if I wouldn’t be able to eat it, they would, so I shouldn’t worry. I appreciated the gesture, really, but me being me, I did just that: worry.
Although I’d realised as I watched them bicker around while ordering, that this particular feeling wasn’t only mine. No, it stemmed from several people, all seeping towards me through the bond, although I wasn’t sure who else it also belonged to. These new, otherworldly powers were still very much fresh to me, after all.
But something else kept nagging at the back of my mind: worry wasn’t the only negative feeling wrapped around my heart. No, there was also excitement, fear, anger, happiness and displeasure, just to name a few that I tried my best to identify. It was truly a cacophony of chaos, a big tangled ball of mess that I just didn’t have the energy to detangle right now, to see what belonged to me and the others.
What I was certain about though was the worry I felt about this displeasure, a feeling that I could easily see stem from those around me as well. And somehow, I understood why they would feel that towards me, a stranger in their life.
My existence was probably the cause of it, someone who was supposedly their soulmate, their perfect other half just appearing out of nowhere in front of them. Most of them seemed to be happy to meet me, but that didn’t mean everyone had to feel that way.
No, some of them probably hated me being there, hated my very existence, hated how I’d met them and how now they had to deal with my useless self.
Next chapter
Taglist: @stayatinykatsy @vampcharxter @linlinaert @yoongibelike @ihrtlix @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @braveangel777 @michelle4eve @5starluvr @palindrome969
If I left you out, feel free to remind me to add you in!
#stray kids#skz#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids x female reader#stray kids x y/n#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fic#skz fanfic#skz fic#skz angst#skz fluff#soulmates#stray kids ot8#skz ot8#ot8 x reader#bang chan x reader#lee know x reader#seo changbin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#han jisung x reader#lee felix x reader#kim seungmin x reader#yang jeongin x reader#x reader
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It All Fell Down | D.P. Part 2
Summary: The fallout costs Damian and Y/N their relationship.
Author's Note: Saw him last night after Smackdown in the last dark match. He went against Jey Uso. 😮💨 so fine.
It All Fell Down Part 1 | Damian Priest List | Main List
"Are you ready for our match tomorrow?" Rhea asked happily. She sat next to you at the hotel bar. The two of you decided to go late that night to avoid people calling her Mami that night.
You sat on the stool fixated on the bartender as he counted money from the register. Your mind so far in space, it was like you were visiting ET in his home land. All you could think about was Damian and the look on his face when you broke up with him. A nudge to your arm brought you back down to Earth.
"You okay? Is it a full moon? I swear between Damian ignoring my texts about us being here and you being a bloody space cadet tonight, it's like I'm stuck in the twilight zone," Rhea complained and took another drink.
"Damian isn't going to come," you whispered. Guilt ate at you, and you bit your lip.
"Why? Is he feeling sick?" Rhea pressed.
You were unsure if you should tell her and leave it up to Damian, but she was your friend too. "We broke up,"
"What? When?" She asked and scrolled through her messages. Rhea wondered if she missed anything in her chats with Damian. Tonight was the only night that something was off.
"About three hours ago," you answered. You frowned and started to cry. The pain was worse than you could have ever thought possible with dating someone for a few weeks. He was with you for everything. It felt like a dream, but now you were living a nightmare.
"What happened?" She asked and rubbed your back. You cleared your throat and told your side of the story.
💜🖤
You first thought about breaking up with Damian the night Finn found out. Continuing the relationship felt like a dig at Finn. The way he looked at the two of you lived in your mind rent-free. Every time you closed your eyes, you can see his hurt face. Damian convinced you that things would get better and decided not to split.
The relationship was going strong until you finally cornered Finn to talk to you. It was in an elevator, and it was a happy chance. He tried to ignore you, but you cornered him. Finally, he let you have all of it.
He didn't appreciate your broken promise to him or Damian for almost letting Finn ask you for another chance. The betrayal of you two sneaking around instead of telling him was brought up. Now, he was upset because you messed with his career. That conversation made you feel worse. You knew what you had to do.
"Break up? Take it easy. Finn will eventually come around to us," the archer of infamy shrugged. His arms crossed over his chest as you sat at the foot of the bed. Your hands rubbed together nervously.
"No, he won't," your voice cracked. "This was all a mistake. I cost us our friendship to Finn,"
"Our relationship is many things, but it is not a mistake," he defended. "Why are you so willing to throw us away for a man having a temper tantrum?"
"I'm not throwing us away, Dam. We are just going back to being friends," you tried to explain. You knew it would be hard to break up with him, but you never expected such a fight. He told you he didn't know if he could just be friends with you.
The argument didn't get much better from there. There was no yelling, but there was a lot of hurt. Finally, he threw his hands in the air and took a few steps back. There was no changing your mind about all of this.
Before he left your hotel room, he turned to look at you. "I love you, Y/N. I just wish that would have been enough for us,"
💜🖤
The air in the bar was thick. Rhea bit her lip and contemplated on what to say next. All this drama had gone on long enough. For the most part, everyone kept it professional, and it was contained between you and Judgment Day.
"It's late. Why don't you get some sleep? I want you to be good for tomorrow. Here, I will help walk you to your room," Rhea offered. You gladly took her up on her offer. She helped get you settled back in and left.
She stood outside your door and grabbed her phone. Finn's name lit up her phone screen. She hit the message button.
"You and I need to talk," the message simply stated. She hit send and waited for his response.
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since your asking for requests i have one from the 2023 list "Just admit it, you have feelings for them." "Only the worst ones." with astarion if you dont only write gale?
I do indeed write for all the companions + Dammon! I just love Gale lol.
My first fic on this blog is this one, a spicy little Astarion piece I wrote back when the game first game out. I originally posted it to ao3 but thought to bring it here.
Anyways, on to the show!
pairing: astarion/reader (m/f)
warnings: none, just some pining lol
word count: 1k
The party grows weary.
You had been traveling through the muddy forest for the better part of the day, clearing the area of any stray cultists. Another cloister of zealots had been your latest find as dusk faded into night. The spellcasters among them were relentless, their spells leaving your party sore, battered, and exhausted. The wounds sustained from their brawlers fester and ooze. You know it’s time to rest soon, you can feel your body practically begging for it after all. You have no choice but to press on, growing more and more desperate to find the way back to camp.
As you continue to trudge through the mud, you find yourself growing irritable. You know this clearing, recognize it after traipsing through it three times. Your legs seem to grow heavier with every step you take, weighed by the mud and the exhaustion beating down on you.
Realistically, you know you should have sought shelter hours ago. You’re too stubborn for your own good, however, and the need to prove yourself to your ragtag group of party members burns a hole through your chest. It churns like a cesspool in your belly, the sick feelings of guilt and fear and inadequacy. You're a good few weeks into your little misadventure and if anything, you feel even less suited to the job so graciously bestowed upon you. You sigh heavily, cursing as your ankle is sucked into deep mud.
“Darling, are you quite sure we’re going the right way?” Astarion’s tone is deceptively soft, but you know better. He’s crouching on a nearby rock, pompously smirking down at you like the smug bastard he can be sometimes. “Why, I think you’ve led us through this filthy little clearing three times now.”
"I know that, Astarion," you spit, leaning down to try and pry your boot free. "I'm doing my best, okay? I'm just as tired as the rest of you."
He regards you for one long, agonizing moment, and then he simply shakes his head, gracefully climbing down from the rock he so proudly perched upon. "What are we to do with you, pet? You're a mess."
"We could help her to start," Karlach interjects, huffing heavily as she finally reaches your position. "Easy, soldier. Don't move too much or you might snap a bone or two."
Astarion glowers at her. It doesn't last long as he's more focused on trying to get to you, all measured steps and careful movements as he traverses through the heavy mud. Last night's rain really did your party no favors, leaving the forest a wet, mucky sludgepit.
"Ugh, this is dreadful," he remarks, scowling as his foot slips. "How people find enjoyment in this astounds me."
"I, for one, think it builds character," Karlach quips, leaning down to help tug at your foot. "What's life without a little mud, aye?"
She proceeds to yank from your ankle and you cry out as the mud seems to thicken, pulling you in further.
"Perhaps we might take a different approach?" you gasp, swatting at her hands. "Sorry, Karlach."
She sheepishly pulls away. "Yeah, maybe that was a bit much. Sorry, Soldier."
Astarion scoffs as he settles behind you. You had briefly forgotten his presence so you startle, body going stiff as he presses even closer. You take note of the easy way he crouches, careful of where his feet stand so as to avoid your fate.
"While I do enjoy a good show of brute force," his sly voice in your ear makes your stomach flip, but you hold it together. "A situation such as this calls for finesse. Allow me?"
You nod breathlessly, body stiffening as his hands find purchase at the calf of your trapped leg. He takes his time moving down the expanse of your armor, delicately coming to a stop at the tip of your boot. He is quiet as he begins to work at the clasps, loosening them as much as he possibly can. Once finished, he turns to meet your gaze.
"Do you trust me, pet?"
His eyes are intense, inscrutable, but still you see something sparking to life behind those pretty red irises. So you concede and nod your head, all the while keeping your eyes fixed on his. He takes off his gloves and slowly, so slowly does he wrap his hands around your ankle before he finally slides them under the lip of your boot. His fingers are gentle as they prod at your skin, sure when they wrap around your heel and slowly begin to prise it free from the leather encasing it.
You can't look at him anymore, so you turn your attention back to Karlach. She hums some noncommittal tune, faced away from you both to give you the illusion of privacy. You burn in embarrassment but you know by this point, you should be used to it. This dance you and Astarion move through is a familiar one. You push, he pulls. He pushes, you pull. It's no secret the lines have blurred, not to you, not to the party. You don't know if the pale elf is up to speed, but you do not push it.
Once your foot is free, you thank him quietly. He meets your gaze again, all ruby, undecipherable intensity. You swallow the sickening want that threatens to burn a hole through your chest, choosing to instead pluck your freed boot from his hand. A coy smirk pulls at his lips but you ignore it, still burning, and you simply pull yourself together and continue on the path.
Once you're far enough away, Karlach nudges Astarion.
"Just admit it, fangs," she teases in a singsong voice. "You have feelings for her."
Astarion bristles, scoffing in indignation. If blood ran through his veins, he's sure he'd be flushed pink. He ignores the twisted way his chest aches at the insinuation.
"Perhaps," he muses, glaring at her. "But only the worst kind"
Karlach laughs and sets off after you. It takes him a moment to follow and when he does, he feels that same deep-rooted ache start to throb.
The worst kind indeed, he thinks, resigned.
#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#astarion ancunin x reader#astarion ancunin x tav#baldur's gate 3 x reader#baldur's gate 3#bg3 x reader#bg3#reader insert
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6 Months
I'd just like to preface this SHIT Drabble by saying I'm literally writing in in work so that it doesn't leave my brain. Inspired by my managers friend who literally found out they're 6 months pregnant last week under the same circumstances, praying for you girl. Like all traumatising experiences I like to thing of Pedro handling me in the situation, this one probably made a lot more sense in my head. Let's hope I come back to the to improve it or progress it.
'You’re 6 months pregnant”
You laughed confused, maintaining eye contact with the doctor.
‘No I’m not’
The room immediately became thick with awkwardness.
‘The tes-’
‘Is wrong. I’ve got the implant. No bump. No symptoms’
You listed off all the reasons you couldn’t be pregnant. It was only by chance you had required a trip to the doctors. A holiday was booked with your closest friends for next month. You had only come in to get some anti-anxiety medication for the flight you were so scared of, a blood test was routine before you could get it.
Your doctor’s eyes squinted slightly, trying to figure out how to handle the conversation. You held their gaze refusing to look at anything else, especially Pedro who was beside you completely silent.
‘The results are yours. We can run another one if you would like but you are 6 months pregnant. 6 and a half to be more precise’
Your eyebrows furrowed, the doctor started a spiel you couldn’t quite focus on. They provide you with a few pregnancy tests to use in the bathroom. You leave to do them alone, you haven’t looked at Pedro since the doctor dropped the bombshell that was obviously-
‘Positive’ Both tests displayed strong second lines as you felt the blood drain from your head.
~
Pedro shut your car door as he makes his way to the other side. You haven’t said a word since returning from the bathroom tests in hand. He gets into the driver's side but can’t bring himself to turn on the engine just yet. Your head is completely blank, normally you would spiral but the shock has prolonged that still.
‘Are you ok’
You can barely shake your head, you finally look at him. ‘Are you?’
Deafening silence fills the car. You’ve no idea how much time has passed before Pedro eventually begins the drive home. You’re completely spaced out until you approach your street.
‘I don’t want to go home’
‘Ok baby, where do you want to go’
Pedro reduces his speed dramatically giving you time to think.
‘I think I need to be alone’ You blurt out.
‘Ok’ Pedro maintains his calm demeanour, attempting to regulate the panic he watched creep into your eyes.
‘Is that ok’ A lump appears in your throat.
‘Can you be alone in the house?’
He proposes a safe compromise but you shake your head, your breath catching in your throat.
‘In the car’ Another suggestion.
You shake your head unbuckling your seatbelt before Pedro has reached your home. He calls your name, a gentle warning to not do anything dangerous.
‘I think I just…. I need to….’ You struggle to figure out what you need to do.
‘Breathe with me’ Pedro parked the car and unbuckled himself, twisted towards you he grabs your hands, pecking them before meeting your eye.
‘It’s ok’ He begins. ‘You can be alone but I need you safe, do you want me to take you somewhere?’ You shake your head. ‘Ok baby but I don’t think now would be the best time for you to drive a car, do you want me to leave?’ You shake your head again.
‘I’ll take a walk?’ You suggest, it was a cloudy day making it quite quiet.
‘Ok Cariño, do you have your phone on you?’
You nod, checking your pocket. He kisses you on the cheek, unsatisfied he gently grabs your face planting a lingering kiss on your lips. You rest your forehead on his having a silent conversation. You would clear your head, come back and have the conversation. For now you needed to take in everything. You swallowed your guilt for needing to be alone, wishing that you could instead process this beside Pedro. You leave before you suffocate on the silent questions lingering in the car and make your way down the street wondering how the hell your life had changed so much within the space of an hour.
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal drabble#dad!Pedro passcal#pedro pascal imagine#Pedro pascal x pregnant!reader#pedro pascal x reader
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Hi! I just saw your post about how Bucky’s rule number two should have included him, and I totally agree with everything you said about that. But something that stuck out to me as odd about the whole rules system thing is, it seems more like something a psychiatrist would use to treat someone who didn’t have a good moral compass or some other issue like that? I could be wrong but “don’t do anything illegal” and “don’t hurt anyone” kind of sound more like things they’d say to someone with anger issues/sociopathic tendencies/other conditions with which harm to others and/or deviant behavior is a possibility. The show seems to imply that he was suffering from PTSD though, which doesn’t match up with that? I don’t know, I thought it was weird.
Thanks for the ask nonnie!
I won't pretend to be an expert on therapy methods but your point is solid and I've seen it mentioned a couple of times by people who do have a background in psychology. (As an aside, difficult anger control can be a part of PTSD - unfortunately it's the way a lot of men have been socialised to deal with fear and anxiety - but that's really not the way Bucky's been portrayed.)
Contract setting within psychotherapy is usually a good thing, because it sets clear professional boundaries and also means both the therapist and client have a common list of goals to work towards.
There was this chain of posts before (in case the gif doesn't work) but I agree. Look at the gesture she makes as she says "With your history, the government needs to know that you're not gonna..."
This is such a fundamental misunderstanding (or misconstruction) of his role in Hydra and of the actual nature of his mental health problem. Bucky's history is one of being tortured, mind-wiped and made to obey orders. Neither the Winter Soldier nor Bucky was ever aggressive until he received the commands to be.
This iconic scene of The Soldier sitting placidly in Pierce's kitchen when someone entered the scene unexpectedly, and Pierce had to execute the maid himself. The Soldier did not inflict violence until ordered to. The only time he was aggressive against command was when he had flashbacks to his capture. And in Civil War, Bucky was only ever shown to be "aggressive" when forced to defend his own life (Don't tell me self-defence is now a mental health diagnosis).
From a therapy perspective, you're right - those rules are about curtailing someone's actions, whereas Bucky's problem was more about learning the confidence to make choices. This isn't someone who's going to act out, he's had 70 years of being tortured and conditioned into obeying orders. This is someone who's going to hesitate about committing to a choice, he's going to defer to others as much as he can, and maybe as he grows more confident, he starts making some questionable choices that tends to position his own well-being last because he's been trained to think he's the least important in the equation (and with a unhealthy dose of guilt).
From a narrative perspective, this was intended to reinvent Bucky as a "bad" super soldier, cos "there's never been another Steve Rogers", and paint Bucky as someone who would regularly do illegal and violent things, and is so sarcastic about the rules (because -- that's the least of his problems!)
#tfatws critical#bucky barnes#bucky is a victim not a villain#bucky deserves better#bucky barnes meta#tw: ptsd
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Healing Takes Time Chapter 3
[First] [Prev]
Chosen takes care of himself as promised for the next week. He got out of bed every day no matter how much he wanted to stare at the wall and wallow. He takes showers, wears fresh clothes, and even washes Darks hoodie. While the first few days of eating were hard, mostly snacks he and Dark had lying around, by day four he was starting to make easy meals. It wasn’t much, especially compared to his glory days but it was something.
The house isn’t nearly as filthy, either. The smell of smoke and fire has been scrubbed away and replaced with a faux sense of cleanliness. All the dishes have been cleaned and put away instead of rotting in the sink. The counters have been wiped clear of the dust and grime that had been taking over, and the floors now sparkle with cleanliness.
The only thing that wasn’t completed on his to-do list was to get rid of that virus cannon Dark had built. It was certainly a priority but every time he even got near the damn thing the remnants of grief and guilt took hold of him, the memory of what happened there too great. Phantom pain from the punch that started it all would tingle in his knuckles, and nausea so powerful it brought him to his knees. So instead he blocked it off. Out of sight out of mind. It isn’t perfect but it works for now.
He kinda hopes the kid is proud of him. There's no one else in his life that could be proud of him. And while the steps have been small they have been steps. He should be arriving any minute now. Chosen had been counting down the days, hours, minutes until the kid returned. Until he isn’t alone again.
Chosen waits on the roof of his home looking up at the screen sky. He’s been up here for hours, basically since he woke up, looking out for the kid to wander up to the house. He must get tired after all that walking. Maybe they could watch a movie, wander through the woods, or maybe fly around? It won't be easy since the kid doesn’t know about his powers but Chosen is sure he can carry him. Super strength and all that.
“Choooosen!” The kid’s voice calls out from the distance. Chosen scans the ground for the kid’s bright orange hair in the green grass and smiles at the kid waving from the ground. Chosen leaps off the roof to the field below, the fire shooting out of his hands cushioning his fall. The kid wraps his arms around Chosen and before he knows it he’s returning the gesture.
The kid is warm and smells like citrus. His fingers run through the kid’s soft hair, cradling his head. It had only been a week but he really did miss the kid and being alone in the house was starting to drive him a little crazy. He swore at times he could hear Dark’s voice just down the hall or the familiar buzz of his computers but nothing was ever there.
“Hey Chosen! I missed you too!” The kid says releasing his grip on Chosen. His hand twitches towards the kid’s already missing his warmth but never being able to admit it out loud. But thankfully the kid seems to be a natural mind reader and grasps his hand in his own.
“We are going on an adventure.” He says with a smile.
“Oh yeah?” Chosen replies “What are we doing?”
“You are going to show me around the city!”
“The city? Oh no no no. We are not going there.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m a criminal?”
“So?! Throw on a hoodie, or a hat! Come on big bro!” His eyes are so big and his smile wide. He can’t say no to that little face. Although he really needs to learn how to, can’t let the power go to the kid’s head. But just once wouldn’t hurt. He does need to go into the city anyway.
“Fine. Just this once.” Chosen says with a sigh. “Only because I need to get some groceries.”
“Yes! You’re the best Cho!”
“Yeah, yeah. Lemme grab a few things then we can get going.” Chosen goes back inside leaving the door open for the kid to follow. He goes over to the closet grabbing a jacket with a large hood and beanie and throws them both on. He tucks his long black hair into the gray beanie leaving only the front strands sticking out. It's not an amazing disguise but as long as he keeps his head down, he should be fine.
“Alrighty kid, you ready?” Chosen says tucking his phone and keys into his jacket pocket.
“Yeah! My friend Purple told me all about the city, he used to live there!”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, apparently he had an apartment or something and knows all the fun places.”
“So why aren’t you exploring it with him? Sounds like you got an expert tour guide.”
“Because I wanted to see it with you first!”
Chosen can’t help but roll his eyes at the kid’s sapiness. It was pure and truthful, innocent in the way a kid who has never been truly scorned could be. Chosen wishes he could’ve had that, even for a minute, but it was never in the cards for him.
“Come on kid. Let's go.”
The city is exactly as Chosen remembers it.
Awful.
Too many sticks and noises. People crammed together with barely any space to themselves. Shops with their bright lights and towers that take over the horizon. Cars that made awful noises and people talking far too loud. It was disgusting.
But the kid seems to like it, his eyes are wide taking in every last thing that the city has to offer. His head bounces from building to building, stick to stick, taking in every last thing it has to offer.
“Is it everything you ever dreamed of?” Chosen says nudging the kid.
“It’s so big! I’ve only ever been to small villages and bastions. Even then there were only like 100 piglins there? Maybe 200?”
“Well, there are probably a few thousand sticks here. Maybe even a few hundred thousand.”
“Hundred thousand?!”
“Yeah, lotta potential friends for you,” Chosen says ruffling the kids' hair with a small laugh. The kid giggles in return, shooing Chosen’s hand off of his head. It was mostly a joke but to be honest, the kid seems so friendly and light-hearted, if Dark wasn’t so set on destruction, if he wasn’t ready to end everything, Chosen is sure that he and the kid could’ve been friends.
“So what are we doing first?”
“Well, do you want food? There are few good food carts around here if you’re hungry.”
“Yeah, I kinda skipped breakfast so I could get here on time.”
“Alright then. Food it is.”
“Yeah!” The kid takes off a bit too fast for Chosen’s taste. He still doesn’t know anything about this world, and the thought of the kid getting hurt on his watch. Chosen takes off after the kid, pulling the edges of his beanie down to shield his face.
“Come on Cho!” He shouts from the edge of the sidewalk. His arms waving in the air to get his attention. Cars wiz past him going almost as fast as Chosen’s heart. Chosen pulls his little brother back onto the sidewalk and to safety.
“Okay, new rule. Stay behind me or right in front of me. Within grabbing distance.”
“Oh, what? Do you not trust me?”
“Nope, not in the slightest,” Chosen says with a laugh. “Next time don’t stand next to the street.”
“Noted.”
The signal across the road turns from red to green allowing the two to cross the street without getting hit by a car. Cursors above, this kid has a steep learning curve ahead of him. It took years for Chosen to even grasp the basics and to be honest he doesn’t have the strongest understanding of it but he’s doing his best. He thinks.
They round the corner to the street full of food carts and long lines. Chosen digs into his pocket grabbing his wallet and some cash.
“Okay, see the dark red man with the cart?” He says pointing to the man pushing his corndogs.
”Yeah?”
“Here’s $6. Go grab us two corn dogs.”
“What?! Didn’t you just say to stay in front of or beside you?! Why can’t you get them?”
“Because I spent my first six years here being a criminal, and now I’m in hiding. And you’ll still be in eyesight. Now go.” Chosen says nudging the kid closer to the cart. The kid rolls his eyes but compiles.
Chosen leans against the nearby wall of one of the skyscrapers of the city. He keeps his head down but his eyes still scan the city and its inhabitants. A few sticks with blue hats and badges pass by but don’t seem to spare Chosen another glance, too busy with whatever their task is. They hang around a telephone pole before moving on.
A poster with the words written in big bold text hangs from the post, and Chosen’s face is right below it. Oh boy. That isn’t good. Chosen tugs the beanie around his ears as he walks over the telephone pole.
WANTED. REPORT ALL SIGHTINGS TO ROCKET CORP. REWARD.
Chosen rips the poster off the staple and shoves it into his hoodie pocket. Rocket corp. Has always been a small thorn in his side but to put his face up on posters? This is starting to become a problem. His fingertips flip back and forth on the edges of the folded poster, his potential doom in his pocket. He’ll have to find and burn all the posters later. Just in case.
“Hey! Chosen!” The kid says from the other side of the street “Mission accomplished! I got us some food!” He waves the corn dogs up in the air with a bright smile on his face. Chosen can’t help but let the infectious smile spread to his face as he crosses the street, forgetting all about the poster in his pocket. He takes both the corn dogs and holds them high above his head where the kid can’t reach them. A playful gesture made all the better by the fact the kid was at least six inches shorter than him.
“Oh, what?! Chosen! Come on!” The kid says jumping up to grab his treat. “Give it back!”
“Gotta say the magic word!”
“May I please have my corn dog?” He says crossing his arms with a little pouty face to complete it. Chosen lowers one of the corn dogs from the air and takes a big bite out of it, a smirk on his face as he chews.
“What?! Chosen! I said ‘Please!’”
“Who said that was the magic word?”
“Come on, Chosen! Give it!” The kid resumes his little jumps, his arms waving around in an attempt to get the delicious snack out of Chosen’s hands.
“You didn’t say the magic word!” Chosen can’t help but laugh, really truly laugh at the kid’s attempts. When was the last time he did that? Truly laugh from the core of his being? It’s been so long that his stomach hurts from just a few seconds of the joyous feeling.
“Would you stop laughing and just give it?”
“Okay, okay. Here.” Chosen hands over the delicious hostage and ruffle the kid's hair, his hand shuffling the orange and green mess.
“Thank you.”
“You are very welcome. Now, come on, let's get out of here. I think there's a farmers market up ahead.”
The two of them walk around the marketplace, each booth catching his attention. Little crafts or hand-made art or trinkets cause his eyes to glisten with this wonder Chosen had never seen before. He knows that this is all new to him, but the ability to stop and appreciate every little thing. Especially the art. He stops and drags Chosen back to the booth to admire every piece the creator made. It takes a while and the booth owners are a bit too chatty for Chosen’s taste but the kid always steps up to talk to them. And even though they never buy anything it does seem to make the vendor's day a bit brighter just by talking about their craft.
“So what else do you want to see?” Chosen asks as they walk out of the market
“What else is there to see?” The kid shrugs
“Well there's the grocery store, the laundromat-”
“Not thaat! Fun stuff!”
“I don’t do ‘fun stuff’ kid, I do boring ‘adult stuff’”
“Oh, what? You’re like what eighteen-nineteen? You should be doing fun stuff!”
“I’m twenty. And the boring adult stuff takes precedence, kid.”
“Boring! You’re boring!” The kid says sticking his tongue out for emphasis. Chosen rolls his eyes and gives the kid a playful shove on the shoulder.
“Okay, smart guy, what do you do for fun?”
“Oh well, Alan has a lot of games on his computer so my friends and I usually go explore those, but Minecraft is our favorite.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah! That’s actually where I met my friends! Oh! Oh! You should meet them! They don’t live too far from here! That’s what we should do next!” The kid grabs Chosen’s arm and takes off not caring about anything just getting to their next destination. Chosen allows himself to be dragged along by the kid half his size and strength to an unknown destination.
Chosen is led through streets and buildings until they get to the more suburban side of the city. No more skyscrapers assaulting the sky, or people crowding the streets, or posters on every post and in every window advertising the next big thing. Instead, children are playing in the street and coloring with chalk on the sidewalk, and parents are on the porch talking amongst each other. Run-down houses made of concrete instead of glass or steel. No yards or space for freedom, just houses crammed next to each other.
The kid runs up to the house at the very end of the block, knocking on the door while bouncing on his heels. His excitement radiating off of him and bombarding Chosen, not that he minded of course. No matter how many times he sees that smile, he’s sure he’ll never get tired of it.
A taller solid orange stick pulls the door open with a soft smile and tired eyes. He looks somehow both exhausted and wide awake at the same time. The faint smell of black tea wafts out the door inviting them both in.
“Hey, Orange! Headed back already?” The man says leaning against the door.
“Not yet! I brought Chosen by to meet you and Purple. Is that okay?”
Chosen stands up a bit straighter as the man looks at him, his smile never dropping as he steps aside.
“Come on in. Do you like tea, Chosen?”
“Oh uh, I’m more of a coffee person, but I’ll never turn down a cup,” Chosen says crossing the threshold. His eyes bounce around the small home trying to take it all in. And look for anything suspicious. Not that he doesn’t trust the kid’s friends, it’s just second nature at this point.
Walls that look freshly painted over and some half-decent furniture by a nice kitchen. Store-bought paintings hung from the walls next to photographs of the orange stick figure and a gold child. Drawings that had no right being in such beautiful frames crowded walls like they belonged there, and not on a fridge or stuffed in a drawer somewhere.
A purple stick who looks about the kid’s age pokes his head around the corner, his eyes wide for a moment, looking between him and the kid, and the older stick like he needs some reassurance. Which, is fair. If a famed terrorist just showed up in Chosen’s house he’d be a bit spooked too.
“Purple, this is my big brother, Chosen. He doesn’t bite. Swear.”
“You said the same thing about Red,” Purple says with a small laugh, stepping out from his little hiding spot. The kid reaches out for Purple, pulling them close before turning back to Chosen.
“Well, Chosen definitely doesn’t. Right, Cho?”
“Uh yeah, no don’t worry kid. My days of ruthlessness and terror are far behind me.”
“Same here.” Purple chuckles.
Uh, what? Chosen looks to the kid for further elaboration, absolutely lost how this fifteen-year-old could have ‘days of terror’. He looks like a completely normal kid, someone Chosen wouldn’t even give a second glance to on the street.
“Oh, um, Purple almost killed Blue and Green when they were ruler of a village and then helped Mango when he went a bit off the rails and tried to destroy Minecraft and us along with it. But we’re all good now.” The kid says all this like he isn’t absolutely crazy.
“I-What?” A normal dad and a teenager, killers, destroyers? Those are words to describe him, not a pair of normal sticks living in the city.
“Purple, didn’t you say you had something to show Orange?” Mango says from the kitchen, “Why don’t you and Orange go to your room and let the grown-ups chat?”
“Oh uh, okay. Come on Orange.”
The kid looks back up at Chosen, worry filling his eyes. Like if he left Chosen would fly off absolutely terrified of the situation.
“Go have fun. Just don’t head home without a proper goodbye, okay?”
“I won’t! Promise! Come on Purple!” The kid drags his friend back to their room leaving Chosen alone with Mango.
Chosen takes a seat at the kitchen table watching Mango grab two mugs from the cupboard. The kettle screeches alerting everyone in the house that the water is ready for tea. Chosen looks back up to the man, really trying to picture him hurting anyone but can’t seem to grasp the image. The man pouring tea, destroying what seems to be an entire dimension and five kids? No way.
“I’m sorry, I’m just a little lost. You’re a suburban dad and they’re a teenager. Why did you-”
“Same reason a famed terrorist is clinging onto a teenage kid,” Mango says cutting him off before placing a cup of hot tea in front of him. “Grief.”
The word was heavy in the air, the truth surrounding it too great to speak upon.
“My son, Gold- there was an accident. And I got angry. And destructive. I imagine you, of all people, can understand that.”
“I do,” Chosen says tracing the edge of the mug with his finger. “Well, what about Purple?”
“Purple, they didn’t have the best childhood and they were trying to please all the wrong people. They did some bad things, really bad things, but they’ve learned. Orange and his friends helped them a lot.”
Chosen looks out to the hallway where the kid and Purple’s voices come from. Yeah, he can understand both of those things. Being so filled with anger and using it for destruction, and pleasing all the wrong people because of a shit childhood? That’s his story alright.
“I saw your wanted posters around town.” Wait what?! Chosen’s head darts up as his hands fly to the piece of paper in his pocket grabbing the thing tight. He almost forgot about those. Chosen does his best to keep a straight face “Don’t worry, I’m not going to turn you in. I think Orange would kill me if I did.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Chosen says tapping the side of the mug with his fingertips.
The bright green light and the shaking of the ground are still fresh in his mind. Dark’s body was so mangled it didn’t even resemble the powerful stick he was fighting just a few minutes ago. All because of an angry, grieving child.
Chosen looks back to the older stick figure. His entire presence is soft, kind, and inviting. Something completely different than what Chosen was used to. He was used to the energetic, rash, and loud of Dark and to an extent the kid. But it was nice. Something he feels like he’s been missing for a long time.
“Can I tell you something?” He says after a long sip of the tea.
“Uh, yeah. Of course.”
“I haven’t-Not even the kid knows. And I can’t tell him! How could I? It would-And I need to tell someone. I can’t keep this a secret for any longer.”
“Chosen, hey, it’s all good,” Mango says, reaching over the table to touch his hand. “You can tell me.”
It’s rough and calloused, but gentle in a way that sends a shiver down his spine. It’s comforting. At least that’s what he thinks the other man is trying to do. Chosen nods and takes a few deep breaths. He can do this.
“Do you remember the big mountain leveling fight that happened a few weeks ago?”
“How could I forget? Purple was terrified. Thought the world was ending.”
“That was the kid. The kid did that.”
“What?”
“Well it was mostly me and Dark in the beginning but the kid? He leveled that mountain. He destroyed all of Dark's bots like it was nothing! It took all of my power to destroy one of them! And he destroyed Dark! He leveled that mountain! And he doesn’t remember it! He has no clue!”
“Orange did that? He was that green light?”
“Mhm. And he doesn’t remember it.”
Chosen watches as the older man leans back in his chair, letting out a sigh of what he thinks to be disbelief. He shakes his head before grabbing his mug and taking a long sip of tea.
“And to think I thought he was giving it his all when we fought,” Mango says finishing the drink. Chosen isn’t really sure what that means but he gives the other man time to process all of this. In all honesty, Chosen isn’t even sure he’s processed all of this. “Are you sure Orange doesn’t know?”
“Positive. He told me he basically blacked out for that entire time. He thinks I saved him and his friends.”
Chosen takes another sip of the warm tea as Mango slides his hands down his face. A perfect encapsulation of how Chosen has felt for the past few weeks.
“Creators above.” Mango finally says
“Exactly what I’ve been saying.” Chosen replies.
“That’s a lot to carry on your shoulders. Are you-are you doing okay?”
Out of all the questions, that's the one Chosen least suspected would come up. How is he doing? How is the infamous Chosen One doing?
“Fine, I guess. A lot better now that the kid is coming to check in with me. I guess I'm a bit lonely. It’s weird being alone. I always think Dark is the other room working on something.”
“Well, if you ever need it, our house is always available to you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You’re important to Orange so you’re important to me.”
Chosen can’t help but smile at the genuine kindness being extended to him. No strings attached. Being kind just for the sake of it. Because he could.
“Thanks.”
“Anytime kid.”
-------
[A03 link]
Oh look at that Chosen and Orange bonding! And Chosen has a friend?! You know what we call that? Growth. Also I need more fics or art of a Mango/Chosen dynamic. Just Mango kinda being someone for Chosen to lean on. PLEASE!!! I don't think chapter 4 will be ready by next Friday, but it defienlty will be ready at the very lastest the Friday after that! Thanks so much for reading!!
#animation vs animator#ava the chosen one#the chosen one#ava mango#Ava king orange#ava purple#ava the second coming#ava tco#ava tsc
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much more context with an episode list below the poll!
more info below by episode (forgive me in advance if i forgot your favorite doctor-evolution episode) (also forgive me for all the mistakes i will immediately see once i hit post but will be unable to fix because we can't edit poll posts):
season one: "i wasn't programmed for any of this!"
"eye of the needle": after kes starts advocating for him, janeway offers him the power to turn himself off, and he asks for a name.
"heroes and demons": he leaves sickbay for the first time and has his first non-medical mission. he's emotionally affected by freya's death at the end.
season two: "before you, i was just a projection of photons held together by forcefields [...] just a profession, not a life."
"projections": he hallucinates an existential crisis about whether he's a human or a hologram.
"twisted": the doctor spends time recreationally with the crew on the holodeck for the first time (though it's not clear if he enjoys it).
"lifesigns": he falls in love with vidiian doctor danara pel. at first he says his program is malfunctioning, but later believes his programming is adapting instead. he also records his first personal log.
season three: "i'm footloose and fancy-free."
"the swarm": his program starts to degrade because he has been expanding it for hobbies like opera and friendships with the crew. he says his program should be rebooted so he can serve his "primary responsibility," but kes and the others convince him that his memories are important to keep. (factoid: we learn his maximum runtime was supposed to be 1500 hours.)
"future's end": mobile emitter time!!! and his first time off the ship.
"darkling": he starts editing his own program (and it doesn't go well).
"real life": he creates a holo-family for himself.
according to the stardate mentioned in "latent image" (see season five), the flashback part of that episode happens at the very end of season three.
season four: "i believe i've earned the respect of the crew as an equal."
"revulsion": we meet our first delta quadrant hologram (and it doesn't go well). this is the first time we hear about holograms being subjugated by "organics."
"message in a bottle": the doctor meets the EMH-2 and reveals that at some point he programmed himself a dick and had sex.
"living witness": we learn that the doctor has a backup module who seems to have the same emotions and self-awareness as the doctor himself (which i take to mean that whatever sentience is now in his program can be duplicated by copying).
season five: "we gave him a soul. do we have any right to take it away now?"
"latent image": we learn the doctor had a holo-breakdown (off-screen in late season 3) after his ethical subroutines could not reconcile his decision to save harry's life over another patient's. at the time, they determined that erasing some of his memories was the only way to repair him. at the end of the episode, after the doctor and seven both argue for his individual rights, janeway decides to let him work through his guilt rather than deleting his memories again. assuming this ultimately works after the episode ends, it means that he was able to overcome a critical programming conflict through introspection and social support instead of altering his programming.
season six: "haven't I earned the right to self-determination?"
"tinker, tenor, doctor, spy": the doctor formally complains that his sentience is not being acknowledged and argues that he should be allowed to grow his abilities beyond his role as doctor. he also wants his potential to be evaluated based on his holographic nature rather than humanoid limits ("my program can be expanded indefinitely. i don't have limits!").
"blink of an eye": he lives for three years on the time dilation planet and even has a son ("it's a long story").
"virtuoso": he tries to leave the ship to become an opera star, choosing his passion (and his ego) over his originally programmed purpose.
side note: "fair haven" and "spirit folk" are both in season six, and that's the first time that anyone (including the doctor) seems to consider the concept that regular holodeck characters might also have some kind of feelings, personhood, or right to continued existence (unlike in season three, when in "alter ego" it's both a joke and a problem that harry falls in love with a hologram, or in "real life" when the doctor is fine with b'elanna reprogramming his family without consulting them).
season seven: "the doctor exhibits many of the traits we associate with a person [...] but are these traits real, or is the doctor merely programmed to simulate them?"
"critical care": the doctor violates the hippocratic oath in his programming by harming a patient to save others, and it does not trigger the ethical subroutine breakdown he experienced in season 5.
"body and soul": delta quadrant holograms are in revolt. the doctor experiences humanoid pleasures and enjoys them.
"flesh and blood": he betrays voyager to save the hirogen-programmed holograms and (temporarily) leaves the ship to join them, "because i'm one of you."
"author, author": a federation arbiter decides that he's not legally a person, but is "no ordinary hologram" and has some limited rights.
#polls#star trek voyager#star trek thoughts#deep dives#at some point i might do a follow-up post about when the rest of them think he becomes sentient#because i suspect that answer will be different and perhaps a little depressing#god bless the real hero of this post chakoteya.net for letting me double check all the transcripts
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Very curious about the Legend/Marin/Windfish??? Situation in the incredibles au. Does Marin figure out the hero identity and gets her mind wiped? Does she die??????
There are just so many avenues you can go down and I'd love to hear what you've come up with
Sorry I’ve been sitting on this for a few days anon, it was mostly because I couldn’t quite decide which way to go XD
The big problem is I haven’t totally decided what I’m doing with Marin. I have several ideas, and this fic is one of them, but I’m not sure if I’m going to stick with this particular idea or tweak things or do something entirely different in the end, so this is in with the ambiguously canon works.
Scene from the second movie, hehe.
———
“Why did we drive clear across town to have dinner again?” Legend asked, his arms crossed over his middle as he waited for his brothers to all sit at their table. “Couldn’t we have just stayed home?”
“Yeah, what’s so great about the... the Windfish Eatery?” Wind asked in confusion.
“Ha! Windfish!” Wild laughed, and pointed to the flying whale on the menu. “Look Wind, it’s you!”
“I just thought we’d try somewhere a little different,” Time said as Wind threw a pepper shaker at Wild’s face, making Hyrule sneeze as pepper went flying. “Aren’t you kids sick of drive-in food?”
“I like drive-in food,” Legend muttered, and Time held back a sigh.
His son was still mad that Impa had erased all memory of him from his crush’s mind. Marin had seen Legend in his super hero costume without his mask, and Time had told Impa as a precaution, but selective mind wiping was... not an exact science.
It was now like Marin had never met Legend at all, and Legend was, understandably, rather upset she no longer knew he existed. They’d even had a date planned that she’d entirely forgotten about, and Time felt horribly responsible for the entire thing.
Which was why he’d decided eating dinner at Marin’s family’s restaurant was what they were doing tonight.
He hadn’t fully thought it out, but he had to do something— the guilt was eating him up, and Legend only grew more and more moody. It probably would have been wise of him to call Malon and just admit to her all of the problems their sons were having that he was dealing with, but he’d told her he could handle things while she was away.
So that’s what Time was doing. Handling it.
“Do they serve anything here that doesn’t have mushrooms in it?” Hyrule asked as he looked at the menu, a wrinkle to his brow.
“Try the back,” Twilight suggested, and Hyrule perked up as he saw the list of desserts.
“Since this isn’t drive-in, do we have to have vegetables?” Four asked with a frown, and Time nodded as the same person who’d handed them their menus came by and poured them all some water.
“It does. You don’t have to get peppers, but something green would be preferable,” Time said, and more than one of his sons groaned.
“I wish we could’ve had take-out again,” Wind grumbled.
“I’m sick of take-out, and drive-in,” Twilight said, looking eagerly at the menu. “Look, they have meat that isn’t hamburgers!”
They all began to chatter about hamburgers and junk food and the other items on the menu, but Legend merely put a hand on his cheek and stared out the window with a foul look on his face.
Time sighed to himself as Four asked Legend a question, and Legend took a large sip of water to avoid answering.
“Good evening everyone, may I take your orders?” a musical voice asked, and they Time glanced over to see that Marin herself was their waitress for the evening.
Legend looked up at her, and water spewed out of his nose.
“Ew, gross!” Wind yelped as he dodged the water, and Legend began to cough, cheeks flaming as he tried to stop choking on his drink.
Twilight immediately started thwacking him on the back, and Time grabbed a handful of napkins, drying off the water rapidly spreading across the table.
“Are you okay?” Marin asked in concern, and Legend looked away from her, coughing harshly into his arm.
“Legend, are you okay?" Time repeated, and his son's cheeks darkened even more.
"Fine, nothing to see here," Legend half-growled, still coughing into his arm.
The rest of the boys finished mopping up the water, Marin handing them more napkins, and Legend's coughing finally waned, his cheeks still bright red.
"Would you gentlemen like more water?" Marin asked once the mess was entirely cleaned, and Time cleared his throat.
"That would be nice, thank you. This is my son here," he said, jumping right in as he gestured to Legend. "Who I'm... sure you must know," he said a bit haltingly. "From... school. Since you seem the same age."
"Wow dad, smooth," Twilight whispered, and Time just barely held himself back from giving his son a look. Inwardly though, he was wincing at his own words.
Why couldn't romance ever be easy?
"Oh, hi," Marin said politely, and Legend's face somehow turned even redder.
"His real name is Link, but most of us call him Legend," Wild added helpfully, and Marin blinked over at him.
"Hello Legend," she greeted again, and Legend looked like he wanted to crawl under the table and die.
"Legend," Time prompted, "say hello to—"
"Don't push it, Dad," Legend bit out.
"I'm Wind, I'm his brother!" Wind said with a grin, and leaned across the table to shake Marin's hand. "These guys are the rest of his brothers too. There's a lot of us, and actually all our names are Link because one time mom sneezed when they were filling the birth certificate and—"
"Nice to meet you," Twilight interrupted, kicking Wind under the table.
"Hello," Marin said to the rest of them when they waved. She looked rather confused by the entire encounter, and Time felt the situation getting rapidly out of his control.
"This is good water, it's really refreshing," Four suddenly piped up, eyes a bit purple. "is it spring water?"
"Oh, I think it's tap," Marin said a bit apologetically, but Four just shrugged.
"Well I think it's really good," Four said, and Wind nodded.
"Excellent tap," he said in a posh accent, and clinked his cup with Hyrule's.
That was Legend's last straw.
"Excuse me," he bit out, sliding past his brothers and nearly running from the table, Time's stomach sinking as he disappeared from view.
"Well, nice to meet you," Marin said in the sudden awkward pause, then walked away as another table called for service.
"Where'd Legend go?" Wild asked, leaning across the table.
"Hm. Probably to find a good place to be angry," Twilight said, and Time sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose as a sudden headache throbbed behind his eyes.
Maybe calling Malon wouldn't be the end of the world.
#I have some more... angsty ideas for Marin >:)#but this fit so well I thought it would be funny#this is super goofy though pfff#incredibles au#lu legend#lu marin#legend/marin#marink#writing from the floor#linked universe fanfic#incredibles au fic#also blah blah i don't own the incredibles scene this is based off of don't sue me disney
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Alright, here it is! I wrote a little flashback one-shot about Flint’s first week at Whispering Rock. I’ll probably start working on the Rhombus of Ruin fic soon, but I just wanted to write this little piece since I love the dynamic he has with Sasha and Milla so so much.
Flint’s First Week
“Alright… Thank you… Please get back to me if you find anything.”
I had spent about a half hour making phone call after phone call, trying to get in contact with Flint’s parents. With how tight-knit the psychic community is, I was sure someone had to know him or his family, but it was strange. It was like they didn’t exist.
Though, the boy was an unusual case in general. I wouldn’t have even known he was at camp if he hadn’t snuck into my levitation class. I tried to calmly ask him who he was and where he came from, but he panicked and ran off.
It had been two days since he first started showing up in my class, and Sasha and Morceau had also seen him in their minds, behaving in a similar fashion. He was very skittish, didn’t speak much, and would run away if any of us approached him directly. The only pieces of information any of us were able to get from him was his name, and the fact that he used invisibility to hide himself in the physical world for some reason.
Yet, he was stubborn. He was clearly intimidated by us, and seemed to hold a lot of guilt for coming here without his parents knowing. Still, he continued to sneak into every class, trying to learn everything he possibly could while avoiding our questioning.
Even though his resilience was impressive, he couldn’t stay at Whispering Rock without his parents’ permission. I would either need to get a confirmation from them that he could stay, or get them to come pick him up.
Neither of those options would be possible if I couldn’t reach them at all.
It was getting late, so I had to put my search on hold for a while to round up the children and get them into their cabins for the night.
Sasha and I split up this task, him taking care of the boys while I handled the girls. It could be a bit of a challenge, especially the first couple nights. The kids would either be too excited to sleep, or some would be nervous and homesick. But that’s all in a day’s work for a Psychonaut. Helping people manage their emotions is one of the most important things we do.
I went through my list, and all of the girls were accounted for except for Lili. Thankfully, she wasn’t too far. I found her near a patch of flowers, trying to communicate with them.
“Darling, it’s time for bed. You can practice your herbaphony more in the morning.”
She sighed, standing up and glaring at the flowers.
“I just don’t get why it’s taking so long. My dad said he started talking to plants at my age, so why can’t I?”
“We all learn at a different pace, Lili. I’m sure you’ll get it, but it takes time. Now, get some rest, clear your head, and you can try again tomorrow.”
Lili pouted, begrudgingly following me to the cabin. She truly was her father’s daughter. Always wanting to learn something new.
Once all of the children were in bed, I went over to the boys’ cabin to check on Sasha. I found him sitting on the front steps, a forlorn look on his face as he took a drag on a cigarette.
“Something on your mind, darling?”
He sighed, exhaling a cloud of smoke.
“I’m… not sure how to talk about this.”
I sat down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and smiling.
“Sasha, you know you can tell me anything. We’re partners, after all.”
He blushed, giving me a confused look for a second, only to quickly regain his composure.
“It’s about Flint…”
“Have you gotten in contact with his parents?”
“No, and I’m not sure we can. He’s… He’s not like us, Milla.”
“I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
Sasha paused, trying to figure out how to put it into words. I waited patiently for him to speak, but the period of silence felt way longer than it actually was.
“He’s a borrower.”
That… explained a lot, actually.
Borrowers are common knowledge among psychics, given that we can read minds. It’s a bit of an unspoken rule in the PSI community to leave them alone if you come across them. They aren’t in a place where they feel comfortable interacting with humans, and until they are, the best thing we can do is respect their privacy and boundaries.
But this was a unique case. Flint was a child. A psychic child. A psychic child who was alone, away from his family, and clearly scared. Exceptions had been made before for this exact situation.
“Where is he? We have to find him before he gets hurt!”
“He’s been staying in my lab, but we can’t intervene.”
“Sasha, he’s a child, we have to!”
“No… No, we can’t. Milla, if he finds out that we know about him, he’ll run.”
He did have a point. Flint kept running away even in the mental world. But he also kept coming back. He was determined to learn, even though he was afraid.
“But it seems like he wants to stay here. Maybe if we calmly explain that we aren’t going to hurt him, he’ll stick around to talk things out.”
Sasha sighed.
“We can’t take that risk. I’m not sure how he got here, but he likely stowed away with one of the campers. If he runs, he has no way of getting home. He’ll be alone, at the mercy of nature itself, not to mention the psitanium-affected wildlife.”
“But we have to do something. Does he know how to survive on his own? Can’t we at least leave resources out for him?”
“I suppose there’s no harm in that, but we’ll have to be subtle about it. There’s no telling how he’d react if he found out.”
I didn’t like keeping this a secret. Flint clearly wanted to make a name for himself as a psychic, otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered coming to Whispering Rock. But if he wanted that to happen, he would have to tell us the truth eventually.
I was worried that the longer we kept pretending we didn’t know his secret, the more upset he would feel when the truth got out.
“We can’t do this forever. He’s going to find out at some point. I agree that we shouldn’t confront him directly, and he should tell us on his own terms when he’s ready, but until then, we need to do everything in our power to make sure he knows that he’s safe and welcome here. Otherwise… he could end up running off regardless.”
Sasha nodded, taking another long drag as he was lost in thought.
“Then that’s our best course of action. Help him from a distance, and offer whatever guidance he seeks when he drops into our classes.”
“In that case, we should probably tell Ford and Morceau.”
He winced at the mention of the coach’s name.
“Do we HAVE to tell Morry? You know how he is…”
He adorably pouted in protest, as if that would do anything other than make me wanna kiss him.
“He’s… eccentric, sure. But he’s a professional, darling. He would never harm a student.”
With that in mind, we arranged a meeting in Ford’s sanctuary, and we all agreed to help Flint however we could, whether it was leaving out resources for him, or taking the time to help him adjust in the mental world.
The next day, when he appeared in my levitation class again, he cautiously approached me.
“Um… Agent Vodello? Can I… stay after class and do a one-on-one lesson? I don’t really like having the other kids watch me.”
That was probably the most he’d spoken to me since he arrived, so that was a good sign.
“Of course, darling! I know it can be hard to adjust in a new place with new people, so if you think this will help you get more comfortable here, then we can give it a try!”
“Thank you. Also… I’m sorry I keep running away. This is all so new to me, and I just don’t wanna mess up.”
I smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. His eyes widened in disbelief. This must have been strange for him. Even though his projection was in human form in the mental world, he was still very aware that he was a borrower, and this kind of interaction could never happen in the physical world.
“Messing up is how we learn, Flint. It can be scary, but you have to keep trying. Figure out what works and what doesn’t, and move forward from there.”
He nodded, smiling for the first time since I met him.
“You’re right. I’ll keep trying. And one day… I’ll be a Psychonaut!”
“I’m sure you will. But you’ve still got some growing to do.”
He chuckled.
“You have no idea.”
I had to stifle a laugh. It was clear he was feeling better if he was already joking about his situation. Of course, I couldn’t let him know I got the joke.
For the rest of that first week, the other counselors and I met up every night after the campers went to sleep to discuss Flint’s progress.
Our efforts to guide and encourage him were proving effective, and he was already starting to show a lot of potential. Small as he was, he had a powerful mind. Even Morceau seemed impressed with him, which was rare for him to admit.
At the end of the week, I went with Sasha to his lab after our nightly meeting, since he had been working on something and he wanted to show me. When we got there, we were met with the sight of Flint, fast asleep on the workbench.
I had to do a double take. I knew he was tiny, but this was my first time seeing him in person.
Sasha slowly approached the workbench, looking concerned.
“What is he doing out here?” He whispered.
I walked over to stand beside Sasha, and then, I noticed that Flint had fallen asleep on an opened issue of True Psychic Tales. Specifically, it was one about the two of us.
“I think he was just doing some late night reading. Maybe he wanted to get to know us better?”
“Well, he’s not gonna accomplish much from reading that. They’re heavily exaggerated.”
“Aww, let him have fun, darling. He deserves it.”
Flint seemed to be at ease, considering how sound asleep he was. I was worried he would hear us and wake up, but that wasn’t an issue. Still, I couldn’t imagine it was very comfortable sleeping on a comic book.
Sasha thought the same, and used his Telekinesis to move Flint into his bed, which he had made out of a matchbox and pieces of cloth. We could only hope he wouldn’t notice we moved him when he woke up, but he had to have been so tired that it would be easy for him to believe that he simply didn’t remember going to bed.
“How long do you think it will be until he fully trusts us?”
“It’s hard to say. But we’ll just have to be here for him until then. However long it takes.”
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My problem with the BL industry -part 1-
Where do we draw the line?
I want to start this by saying I myself have been a BL fan for many years, I just want to share my thoughts on the issues cultivated by this industry in the eyes of a queer man. I want to focus on the sexualization of “toxic” more so abusive relationships that are portrayed. Because the manwha Jinx is one of the most popular BLs at the moment and it fits as an example of my point, I’ll be speaking a little bit about it.
What was the purpose of the BL genre? Well for women it was a media that served as escapism since most mature media was very much male oriented. Women could not feel connected to the characters portrayed only to please men’s disturbing fantasies. Between the impossible body standards and the clear lack of regard for the woman autonomy it isn’t a surprise that women felt quite disconnected from 18+ media. That’s when an adult genre came to fruition, 18+ media for women by women but no woman was portrayed in these stories in fact the main focus was relationships between 2 men. The disconnect from societal pressures helped woman enjoy 18+ content without feeling guilt or disgust. But how a genre created to disconnect toxic attributes in media became just that but for another demographic? Now the people on the other end of this discomfort are queer people, not only gay men. Romanticizing dangerous power dynamics, dubious consent, sexualizing toxic stereotypes,infantilization ect. The list goes on of all real life issues that the queer community deal with but are nothing but entertainment within this genre.
Not all BLs are bad! Im very aware since again I am quite the fan of some but this is more me criticizing the industry per se. The problem is that toxicity sells, what companies want is to sell and that opens the doors for people to make more toxicity for whatever their reasons. All that moves us to where we are today were we have one the most popular current themes being Stockholm syndrome and how it is hot. I’ve been seeing myself how I have been dropping more series than I have finished, I kept getting hit with more and more of this toxic clichés. It was like I was playing bingo and hoping I didn’t win, I would get so excited for stories that did the bare minimum and yet those were hard to find which has made my current experience quite exhausting. Of course I’m no longer the teen who would let anything pass because “hot characters” and even more hot scenes but now as an adult that just doesn’t cut it anymore. Showing toxic situations in media on its own is not the problem but it is the context in which they are shown, these are not cautionary tales but “love stories” the intent is for you to root for those characters. Not only is the relationships an issue but the way they portray queer people overall, the disrespect for bisexual people, trans people and lesbians in some of these stories is quite appalling since these are suppose to be queer stories. I think this says a lot about the industry and some of the artists involved, before it could maybe be used as an excuse the lack of knowledge but to me that no longer holds in the age of the internet.
Now I’ll like to mention one of the stories I’ve personally been a little tired of seeing, Jinx. I was quite interested in the manwha when it was announced, as I’ve mentioned before I’m all about the visuals and seeing the improvement of the artist was endearing. I’m aware the BL is still ongoing but I have read BJ Alex which can add a little context on how the artist manages their stories. This is not a personal diss on the artist or those who are reading the story, I just think with all these kinds of popular stories we gotta ask ourselves, Where do we draw the line? Jinx is your typical story of the protagonist being someone that went thru trauma and has to spent their whole life trying to pay some insane debt, then comes the romantic interest being a famous rich person with an unchecked personality disorder that takes advantage of the power dynamic and uses the protagonist to his convenience. It is quite an overdone premise and in this story we see it as a black listed physical therapist and a famous athlete, the protagonist Dan appears to act like an Angel while Jaekyung keeps bullying him and using him for other acts. The story so far has been quite literally only this, and you see in the comments people hoping for a redemption arc for Jaekyung, at some point in this story readers have to realize that a good ending would be Dan leaving this situation but unfortunately I don’t have much hope for that. Jinx is not the only story doing this but it is one of the most popular at the moment, we also have stories like Painter Of The Night which is literally the love story between a kidnapper and his victim.
BL is a genre that can be enjoyed by anyone yet it seems like lately it can become queer stories but not for queer people but more so toxic fantasies put onto another group of people that also have to fight for their own respect. It’s perfectly fine to enjoy good ol 18+ media that is morally grey or maybe somewhat toxic but when an industry gains so much money on portraying real issues as unserious fantasies so continuously, I think it’s time we ask ourselves as the readers; When is it too much? When does it get disrespectful to the people it’s portraying? Where do we draw the line?
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@joelthedetective continue from here
Joel looks at him, a somber look on his face. Did this guy realize just what the entity was that was following him? This thing was danger to everyone around him and he knew if he didn't find a way to stop it in time it was going to get another victim. It got Rose and now it was after him.
Joel takes a deep breath and lets it out. He could only hope this person wasn't a figment of his imagination. It was hard to trust his own mind, not after him starting to see things that weren't actually happening in real time.
"Death is inevitable, that's obvious, but if there's a way to stop something from getting what it wants.. without harming anyone else I am willing to do anything."
Thanatos was all around him. He wished himself personally that reminder was untrue, that he could find some obvious escape in one way or another, but if he managed to escape personally rontal fight with Thanatos, he wouldn't be spared to perceive him all around. He wouldn't be spared to be scared of other people life, wouldn't be spared to seeing people die around him --- if himself managed to standing within that survivor position. There had been an absence of reaction when he noticed obscurity of Joel face. Only determination towards Thanatos had once more escaped his lips. Only anger towards Thanatos had been admitted. Only an clear allergy to Thanatos had been exposed. A long time ago, when he was new inside that 'situation' when he perceived his class dying meanwhile he was searching to understand what going on, he would have been affected by that gaze, would have complained for his circumstances, would have been feeling hopeless and as he did once, embraced by an unstoppable anxiety … Nevertheless, as an survivor, he hadn't been spared, and wasn't something to complain compared to one of his friends. When Thanatos manner to presenting his face was from appareances of future androids deciding to kill his friend before he became important in the future, where killing these things were impossible for an human. When he became connected with couple of entities loving slaughter people.
When he couldn't rest for have constant pressure of Hypnos ---
Thanatos, in some manner, was escapable. A place could be switched, and Thanatos will finding himself offended to realizing, by doing such game endlessly, there will be no soul to collect anymore --- not the ones he was supposed to collect and failed to get the first time. Hypnos, on the other hand … If he didn't sleep, he would die. He preferred an invisible arm wrestling match with Hypnos, living eternally in fear of ending up paralyzed one day, of remaining stuck in dreams that would project premonitions, of never possibly waking up one day than living every second in perpetual fear of dying. He had been given the undesirable fate of a seer. It was because he had survived that he had been given this light of such a future. Was it better to risk being killed every second ? Was it better to be emotionally crushed by continually seeing people around him die ? There was no way John would pass on his Thanatos thing since he already had it personally. However, he couldn't risk Joel adding himself to his list. He had a growing glint of determination in his eyes, unable to swallow a scoff at her first sentence. ❝ Death is preventable. ❞ It was undeniably harsh towards Thanatos, but his anger towards Death had taken on immense proportions. ❝ I should have died a long time ago, and personally, I still live with guilt of having saved everyone from death at the time that caused this mass fury of Death. ❞ For his great displeasure, he was a seer. The more he fought Thanatos, the more he felt his presence, and could predict his moves --- where he didn't want to think about how Hypnos would make him regret this advantage. Even if he didn't want to, he could possibly know what was likely to happen … a cartridge he dreaded to have. ❝ Death follows a list. You can make it pass one person, and continue in such a way that there is no one left to collect. From what I understand though, this thing creates its own personal list, creating an indefinite chain where knowing the origin won't break anything … and arranging to feed itself. ❞ He noticed calmly towards him.
#joelthedetective#ic :: alex browning#verse tbt.#alex vc: 'i survived but at what cost ? '#long post /#i missed that survivor boy who receive ressurection <3
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12. You could be my luck even if the sky is falling down
Masterlist - Previously - Next
Chapter soundtrack: Safe and Sound - Capital Cities
Julia woke up early the next morning, too excited at the prospect to spend a whole day with her family. It had been so long. Sure, it would not be just her family as the Verstappens would join them but it was a detail. She was so happy when Louis said that he would come, something she had never thought he would, especially since it would be a loud place despite having privatized the whole thing for the day. WHen she asked Louis if he was sure he would like to come, he had told her that he wanted to see Ethan more. That he wanted to be a good brother to Julia and try to be a friend to Ethan. He didn’t know how and he didn’t really find a tutorial on the internet on how to make friends but Julia was his favorite person on this planet and he wanted to make an effort. For her. And Julia had almost cried. A mix of feeling her heart swell at his words, and a pang of guilt that she hated.
She expected to be the only one awake at this hour but her mom had beaten her to it. The usually neat and clean living-room was filled with red and yellow flags that Julia was quick to recognise, caps, t shirts and other accessories belonging to her dad ack when he was racing. Soon, Lyanna came back from the kitchen, wearing a full red outfit in clear support of her husband. Julia noticed her top with the name and number of her dad and laughed slightly. Her mom had always been Charles’ number one supporter.
“You go all in, for today.” commented Julia.
“It’s been so long since I’ve had the occasion to cheer on your dad. I missed it.”
“You know, you should come to one or two races. We are soon starting the European ones. I’m sure dad would love to have you there. And I do too.”
“I’ll be in Monaco, as I do every year. For other ones… I can’t leave your brother alone.”
“Maybe Louis could come?”
“You know how it would be, Ju’. The noise, the crowd… it would be too overwhelming. And he is not that interested in racing.”
“You should let him decide by himself. And I’m not so sure he would say no… Maybe if Ethan manages to befriend him, Louis would go.”
“That would be funny. Do you know how many times your dad asked Louis if he wanted to come with him on race tracks and Louis said no? And there would come around Ethan and Louis would agree. I can’t even imagine how your dad would feel.”
“Yeah, another reason to add on his list of ‘why Ethan is bad for Julia’.” She sighed as her mom served her a cup of tea.
“Your dad loves to tease you but he likes Ethan. He always liked him, it won’t change now that you guys are dating.”
Julia drank her tea in one gulp, avoiding her mother’s glance. She felt the liquid burning her tongue and throat and almost spitted it out. Her mom was too busy preparing everything to notice her daughter’s pain as she took out some cardboards and felt tips from a cupboard.
“Do you want to make some to cheer Ethan and your dad?”
“Mom… I’m not four anymore.” complained Julia.
“Come on, it will be fun!”
Julia rolled her eyes and was thankful when she saw Louis' silhouette emerging in the kitchen, his brown hair all over the place and his eyes behind his glasses barely open. He high fived his sister as usual. It was their own way to say good morning to each other, and let his mom kiss his cheek before taking place on the kitchen stool. Lyanna was quick to serve him his breakfast as he was looking at the mess on the kitchen counter.
“Do you wanna make supportive cardboards for dad and Ethan?” asked Julia.
He shrugged but actually took a pen and a cardboard before silently starting to draw some lines that Julia quickly recognised as a helmet. As she thought Louis was about to aim for the red color, she was surprised to see him take the navy blue and color his drawing.
“I bet Ethan will love it.” she said.
“I watched some videos of him. Did you know that he had the belgian flag and the netherland one on it? He said because this way he always has a piece of his dad with him when he is racing and it gives him strength.”
Julia didn’t know. She never really paid attention to Ethan’s helmet and she didn’t feel like pretending she knew about it.
“Did you watch a lot of videos about Ethan?”
“Some. It helped me to make a list of questions I can ask him and topics we can talk about, so I don’t feel weird. It’s doctor Rinaldi who told me that it could help me, especially in situations where I could feel anxious.”
“I’m sure Ethan will be happy to see you supporting him. It will help him beat dad, you’ll see. You’ll be his lucky charm.”
“Who will be a lucky charm?” asked Charles, entering the room, all ready to race.
He had a bright smile on his face and Julia could see the glimpse of excitement he always had in his eyes whenever he was about to be near a racing track.
“I’ll support Ethan.” Louis simply explained.
“I’m wounded, Louis. Deeply. How dare you betray me like that?” feigned Charles, a hand on his heart.
“You are fine. And I’ve never really supported you, so you can’t feel betrayed.” stated Louis making Julia laugh.
“Yeah, that’s true, munchkin. And you are right, Ethan will need every little bit of support he can get because I won’t go easy on him.”
“The opposite would have been surprising.” told Julia, nibbling on a lemon cake.
“What about you? Who are you supporting?” asked Lyanna.
“Whoever will be in front at the first corner.” joked Julia, standing up and leaving the kitchen to prepare herself.
They finally arrived on the karting track where the Verstappens were already there. Ethan was already in his racing suit and was sitting on a picnic table, on his own, playing on his phone. As her family was making its way in the building after saying hello to Ethan, Julia stayed behind and sat next to him.
“How do you feel?”
“Good. I didn’t go back to the penthouse after yesterday. I didn’t want to see anyone. Or to speak to my dad. Didn’t even say anything to him this morning when they arrived. I don’t want to end up saying something that I will regret and I don’t want to fuck up my race and give him a reason to criticize me again.”
“Max didn’t really criticize you… I do think he just wants what’s best for you and he just doesn’t know how to show it.”
“Yeah he does a pretty bad job. But I don’t want to think about it. Do you want to see something?”
“Depends…” she said suspiciously.
Ethan scrolled down on his phone before showing her a picture. It was the cactus, proudly sitting next to a little replica of his helmet on his bedside table. Julia laughed. She found that as weird as it was adorable.They talked for a bit about how Ethan was going to manage the race and if he was anxious. He was not, he was excited and determined to win. That would be something he would brag about for a long time. Soon, Louis came to them a bit shy.
“Hey… dad is ready. He is waiting for you.”
“Let’s go then.” said Ethan.
“Ethan, hey? I just want to wish you good luck.” said Louis, avoiding Ethan’s gaze.
“Thank you, buddy. It means a lot. I’m sure it will make a difference on the track!”
Louis smiled at him and they all headed to the track. Max and his wife were talking to her mom, laughing together. Julia and Louis joined them as Ethan was making his way to Charles that was already in his kart, ready to go. It didn’t take long for Charles to take the lead as Ethan was trying his best to catch up to him. Julia found that funny. She couldn’t help but think that it would be a nice bruise to Ethan’s ego but she didn’t really want to hear her dad bragging about it all day long. So when Ethan was about to be overlapped by her dad, she started to scream his name as loud as she could to support him. But still, Ethan was pretty pissed off when he crossed the line almost a minute after Charles who was still in the kart but had taken his helmet off.
“Well, I have to admit it was fun,” said Charles.
“Fun wouldn’t be the word I would use to describe it. Humiliating would be much more fitting.”
“Maybe Max can join us for another round, what do you think?”
Ethan tensed up. Sure he would love to race against his dad but he didn’t want him to have another reason to say how he needed to work on his trajectories. But he didn’t have much time to explain it to Charles as he was slowly driving to the grandstands to talk to Max.
“Hey, Verstappen? A little race to remind us of the good times? You’re up for it?”
Max looked to Ethan who had still his visor on and was not moving.
“I don’t want to give Ethan another reason to hate me.”
“I’m sure he would love that actually. He just wants to bond with you. With his dad. Drop the World Champion act for a race, would you.”
Max looked at Charles and then to Louis who was busy talking with Julia who was explaining something to him.
“If you want to make this race a bonding moment between father and son, maybe Louis could join us as well.”
“Louis doesn’t like karting. I don’t want to force him.”
But Max didn’t really care and walked to the brother and sister.
“Louis? Would you like to try karting later? Julia, you are welcome too.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never tried it. I don’t know how it works.” replied Louis.
“Ethan could show you! I’m sure he would like it.” said Julia. “It could be a team race. You could be with dad and Ethan could be with his dad? What do you think?”
“I’ll think about it.” replied Louis but Julia saw a spark that was not there a few minutes ago, as if being treated like a normal teenage boy was something he was not expecting to happen.
It took a while before Max joined them and this time the race was not as easy for Charles. He was busy trying to defend against Max who had not forgotten anything about being ruthless on tracks but their little fight allowed Ethan to not get distanced easily. It was his time to prove to his dad that he was underestimating him. As Charles managed to put a little distance with his rival, Ethan was now battling against his dad and didn't hesitate to bump into him. It was a petty move from him, he had to admit, but it cost his dad his trajectory and allowed Ethan to put a few meters between them. And Ethan was so happy to cross the line before his dad that seeing Charles winning once again didn’t bother him much. As Ethan took his helmet off, his dad came next to him.
“That was an ugly stunt you pulled out there but well done.”
“You would have done the same thing.”
“Yeah, it’s true. But I had fun. What do you think about making it a new habit? Everytime you come back home we take one hour to ourselves to go karting together.”
“I would actually love that.”
In the meantime Louis was trying to make her mom let him try racing to which Lya was worried. After all, he still had his ankle in a cast and Lya was scared he would get hurt even more.
“I just want to try normal stuff and have fun like a normal boy, mom! I don’t care if it hurts after. I just want to try.”
“Louis… I just want you to be sure. You hate feeling trapped, you will have seatbelts on and a helmet. And it will be loud. You can’t have your noise canceling headphones, darling.”explained Lya.
“I know and maybe it will be just a one time only but, I want to try. Please, mom.”
Lyanna sighed and looked at Julia in the hope that she would pick her side. The brunette just shook her head in order to make her mom understand that it was something she would not interfere in. Finally, seeing her son so excited and genuinely happy to participate in something, Lyanna abdicated and let Louis go to Ethan who proceeded to explain everything to him. Next to her mom, Julia was observing the scene. They were cute. Louis seemed to really like Ethan and it was one of the first times that she was seeing Ethan smiling so carefreely. He looked younger and Julia found herself thinking he was really cute when he was not serious or behaving like an arrogant prick. She liked this version of him and she wished she would see it more often. As Ethan was helping set Louis up, he looked over to her and winked at her as he gave her a slight thumbs up to tell her that all was well.
Of course, the race was different, slower as no one wanted Louis to feel humiliated. Ethan ever slowed down enough to let Louis overtake him and at the end, Louis snatched the third position, in front of Ethan but behind his dad. As Louis was trying to leave the car, Ethan went up to him to help him.
“Hey, buddy! That was a nice race, right? You were good.”
“You let me overtake you.”Ethan could hear the anger in his voice.
“I mean… I wanted you to have fun, not to be last.”
“I don’t like that. I want to win fair and square, I don’t want to be helped or to be advantaged or to be treated like a kid. That’s not nice.”
Ethan could see him struggling to get out of the kart. He offered him his hand to help him get out of it, to which Louis refused, saying that he would be fine by himself. On the other side of the room, Lyanna was helping a very struggling Charles get out of the car, without trying to get noticed.
“My back… fuck it hurts.” he complained.
“Told you, honey. You are not twenty anymore. That was a stupid idea.”
“But it was worth it. I won, and I had a very nice moment on track with Louis. So I don’t care about the pain. Could you maybe give me a nice massage tonight, you know to ease the pain? And maybe a few kisses would help.”
“Just a few?” teased Lyanna.
Soon everyone was out of the building and ready to leave. Ethan was chatting with Louis who was, no doubt about it, telling him anecdotes about silly things. If it could be boring for most people, it was not for Ethan. He liked Louis and Louis liked him. Not once did he mention that he was autistic or asked questions about it. And it felt good for the teenager that, for the first time in a long time, felt like he was not treated differently, that he belonged somewhere. Julia joined them after helping her mom by putting all the cardboards and flags in the trunk of the car. They were laughing so much that she was scared to interrupt, but the warm smile of Ethan and his hand offered to her made her relax. She took it as he pulled her against him and her head found naturally against his chest as he draped an arm around her shoulders.
“Can Ethan come eat at home? I don’t want him to leave and I want to show him my comic books collection, he says he wanted to see it. Right, Ethan?”
“Well, I don’t want you to feel forced to do anything… maybe you are tired and I would understand if you wanted to go back to your place to rest.”
“I would like to spend more time with you both, actually. And with your parents as well. You dined at mine, it’s only fair that I dine at yours. But I don’t want to intrude.”
“You won’t. My mom will love it.”
And indeed Lyanna was over the moon when Julia asked her if Ethan could come for dinner, and to her surprise, Charles was happy too. Ethan was a little scared, he had to admit, at the idea of dining to Julia’s parents. All of that was making the lie all too real and he understood Julia better when she had told him that Louis could never know the truth about them. He was a nice kid, full of life and so intelligent. And he never stopped praising Julia. It was like she was holding the sun, the moon and the stars for him. He was looking up to her so much. Ethan found it sweet and it made him regret a little to be an only child. He would have loved to have someone like Louis alongside him. And deep down, he made the promise to himself that no matter what would happen between him and Julia, he would always have a place for Louis in his life.
As Lyanna was preparing dinner, helped by Julia, Louis almost took Ethan by the sleeve to show him his room and his comic books. Nothing could have prepared Ethan for what he saw, with all the books that were there, Louis could easily open a bookstores or a library. Louis carefully explained how everything was organized and what books he preferred and why, it could have lasted hours if Julia had not come to interrupt them and as Ethan was walking away, Louis made him promise to come back soon so he could show him what he had not the occasion to.
“Louis adores you. I’ve never seen him open up so easily to someone.”
“It’s not hard to love him.” shrugged Ethan as they were taking place around the table.
The dinner went well, full of laughs and for once, Louis didn’t put his headphones on and participate in the conversation that revolved mainly around Ethan, before moving to Ethan and Julia.
“Do you still have Julia’s bite mark from preschool?” asked Lyanna.
“I do, actually. Your daughter left her mark on me. I was hers from the very beginning. It just took us twenty years to admit it and find our ways to each other.”
“It has to be like that sometimes. It’s all about timing. The right time at the right place. It just nice to see her so happy around you.”
“Mom…” complained Julia.
“It’s true. I’ve never seen you smile that big and that much. You’ve always been so closed off, not letting people come near you. So focused on your studies and career. It’s your biggest strength but also your biggest weakness. I’m just happy you let someone like Ethan get through you.”
“Don’t think it was easy, Mrs Leclerc…”
“Call me Lyanna, Ethan please.”
“Lyanna, right. Julia knows what she wants and doesn’t settle for less than what she deserves. As she should, by the way. I just had to prove to her that I was what she needed.”
“That’s very arrogant of you to say.” replied Julia.
“You will learn that the Leclerc women are hard to get, Ethan. Her mom was the same. But once you have them, they change your life for the better, right love?” said Charles, looking tenderly at his wife.
“I’m just so happy for you darling. You have no idea.”
Julia could see her mom almost crying and it was like a reality check of the pain that she would inevitably cause her, whether she would learn the truth or not. Julia faked a smile and excused herself. Ethan noticed the subtle change in her attitude and stood up as well, following her to the garden.
“Julia? What’s wrong? Did I say something that I wasn’t supposed to?”
“No, you didn’t. It’s just that… When did it become so easy to lie to them? The more we talk, the bigger the hole we are digging for ourselves becomes. It will end up in a mess Ethan. If the truth comes out, it will destroy everything. My parents, your parents, our careers, our friends, Louis… oh gosh Louis. He loves you so much, he is already so attached to you. I can’t do that. He can’t know. Never, you hear me. Never. I…” tears were falling down her face and her breathing was erratic.
“Julia… hey. Look at me. He won’t know. I don’t want him to know either, I like this kid, okay?”
“I hate that. I hate this situation. I thought it would be harmless, that it would only be a little lie, but now everyone is involved and we are both too deep into it. I’ve never imagined that faking a relationship with you would make me feel like that…”
“Faking? You are not really in love with my sister?”
From behind a bush, Louis appeared, his mouth agape and tears rolling down his face and Julia felt her heart shattered in a million pieces.
Author's note: Well, well, well... it seems like the secret is out...What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.
Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.
Taglist:
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#writing#fiction#charles leclerc#f1 fanfic#max vertsappen#charles leclerc fanfic#max verstappen fanfic#f1 story#f1 fic#f1 x oc
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