#now i just need to do the final boss and that should be childs play after this lmfao 😭😭😭

[goji-pilled]

I DID IT! PROMISED CONSORT RADAHN BEATEN ON NG+7!!!

[imtryingbuck]

Told you I’ll always come back

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: 4 years ago Y/n was Bucky’s fiancé and the team thought she betrayed them

Word count: 7,772

Warnings: angst. reader can teleport ~sorta~. reader also rolls her eyes like a trillion times. major character death. swearing. pregnancy. small mention of child birth. mention of cheating. tiny mention of sexual assault. mention of Sharon (I really need to get off the sharon-hate train) guns. gunshot wounds. sad all around

Translation: голубица - dove (if wrong please let me know)

Masterlist

When Fury rang her begging asking for her to come back for one final mission, she agreed with a condition, she’d bring her old team with her. Fury accepted.

That had been two weeks ago.

Landing back in New York brought back many memories, some good - some bad and some she wish she couldn’t remember.

“Hi can you take me to Avengers Tower please?” Getting into the cab she tried desperately to calm down her nerves.

The sky was a visual of her emotions.

Dull.

Standing outside the huge impressive building she felt like she was going to be sick. It’s been four years since she was last here.

“Hi I have an appointment with Director Fury at 12” 

“That’s fine, take a seat and I’ll let him know you’ve arrived”

“Thank you” She didn’t listen to Haley the receptionist, choosing to stand instead.

Fury came down not three minutes later with a small smile on his face. “I’ve missed you - no touching I know”

“Let’s get this over with Nick. Sooner the better”

The man knew not to try and annoy her anymore so he lead her to the elevators, going up.

Her stomach squeezed tight at the sight of her former team huddled on one side of the table, with their back to her.

“Take a seat” Fury whispered in her ear.

The moment that they saw her they were already shouting out their protests, she ignored them and listened to Fury by taking a seat to sit in.

“Calm down everyone. Now!” Fury slams his hand on the table causing everyone to fall silent. “Now, Y/n has agreed to help us with a missi-“

“We won’t work with her Fury.” Steve interrupts.

“You have no other option. No one else will or can help other then Y/n”

“We’ll just do it ourselves” Tony shrugs.

“No. This is happening, if none of you can play nice then you’ll be sacked.”

“You can’t sack us” Steve says with a scoff.

“I can and I will. Now Y/n I sent you over the details of what we’re up against, did you read it?”

“Yes”

“Your team, have you briefed them on everything?”

“Yes Fury, and yes they’re happy to help”. She rolls her eyes at Tony who mocks what she had just said.

“You said in the email that you’ve already paired people up from both teams, do you want to share it?” Like her Fury completely ignores Tony’s childish behaviour.

Sliding over a piece of paper towards her former boss and friend she continues to talk “When you see them in training and you don’t agree with my decision feel free to change it-”

“Oh we will do sweetheart”

Once again ignoring Tony “You said that my team will be allowed to stay here, in the tower?”

“Yeah Peppers done your rooms up herself, you should be grateful”

Turning her head towards the man she saw as a father figure not that long ago “When I see her I’ll give her my thanks.” Sighing she addressed the rest “You have a problem with me, so you will take it out on me. Not my team, but me. Do not think for one second that just because of our history together you can treat my guys like shit. They’re good, hardworking fighters. Fury we have two weeks to train for this mission and if I find out my team isn’t being respected or treated fairly I will not hesitate to pull them and myself out, is that understood?”

Fury’s eyebrow raise as he nods “I completely understand Y/n, welcome home”.

“My team will be here tomorrow at 12, I’ll see you then”.

“Don’t you want to know what room you’re going to be in?” Fury asked.

“No, I’m not staying here.”

“Where?”

“Not here. See you tomorrow Fury”.

Making a beeline for the elevator she takes her leave, it’s once she’s outside of the building she gasps for air.

After her shower and nighttime routine she climbs into bed, her head was throbbing but all she was hoping for was a good night sleep.

It didn’t happen.

“Tony splash me with water one more time you’ll regret it!” She laughs.

“What are you going to do huh?”

“I’ll-I’ll smash up all your vinyl albums”

“Okay okay I’ll stop”

•••

“Steve wait up I’ve only got little legs”

“Sorry.”

“Can’t you just carry me?”

“Nope, come on we’re nearly there.”

•••

“Y/n will you marry me?”

“Yes, Bucky I’ll marry you”

•••

“Natty get your bum out of bed”

“Don’t want too”

“Okay, I’ll come and cuddle with you”

“Yess!”

•••

“Y/n it’s an emergency come quick”

“Sam what’s happening?”

“Come!”

She walked in on Tony fast asleep on Bucky’s shoulder.

•••

“Wand I love you, I’m gonna marry you instead of Bucky”

“Y/n/n your drunk”

“I know”

“Why you sad for?”

“I don’t know”

•••

“Bruce turn into Hulk so I can beat him up”

“Why do you want to beat him up?”

“Because… leave me alone”

•••

“Thor guess what?”

“What?”

“Your so beautiful and I hope you so much happiness”

“La-Lady Y/n,give me a hug”

•••

Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of-

Gasping for breath, she sat up in bed. It’s been almost two years since she last had a dream turned nightmare about her former team.

The red numbers on the clock stated it was 4:33 in the morning, laying back down she grabbed the remote and turned on the telly, there was no way she was getting any more sleep now.

Getting to the Tower a little bit earlier, she sat in her car waiting for her team to arrive. An hour later a text message popped up from her colleague and confidant stating they had arrived she got out of her car.

Greeting them all and introducing them to Fury who said to her.

“You could of come inside you know”

“I didn’t want to” Leaving him to sigh in response.

Introductions between both teams were done and it was straight onto business.

“So what powers do you lot have then?” Tony asks.

“None. We’re all human, Marley’s a witch though” Douglas your closest friend replied.

“Oh. So why are you here if you don’t have abilities?”

“We follow Y/n wherever she goes”

“Why? She’s a tra-“

“Tony enough” Fury interrupted. “Now on to business, the organisation going by The Lords have been on our radar for quite some time now, recently they’ve been getting more cocky” Fury turns around to face the screen, image after image of buildings up in flames, innocent people covered in blood, dead bodies littering the streets were shown to them. 

“We need to have them stopped. In just over two weeks they’ve planned to attack a government base, but we’re going to be taking the fight to them.”

“How?” Colleen - the woman who saved Y/n’s life ten years ago - asks.

“We’ve got their location-“

“Why don’t you just get them” Douglas nods his head to the team on the other side of the table “just to drop a bomb on the bad guys?”

“We need them alive so we can question them”

“Okay… but why all this man power?” Marco says.

“What is it with you lot always asking questions” Nat says with an eye roll.

Y/n sighed, looked at Fury “Marco has a point but I already know the answer, so I’ll be the one that fills him in. We should probably start the training, everyone knows what this missio-sorry I need to take this”. Getting up she answers her phone “Hi baby-“

Bucky hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of her from the moment she sat down. Her hair is so much shorter than it used to be, it suits her. A long jagged scar went across her cheek was new, he wondered how it happened. Seeing her sit there hands placed in her lap, her shoulders tensed up and a blank expression on her face makes him conflicted on his emotions towards the woman he was planning on spending the rest of his life with.

His heart tinged with sadness when he saw the small incrusted diamond ring with two small love hearts sitting on her finger, the finger his ring for her use to take up residence.

He wishes he could take her hand in his so he could rub his thumb over her knuckles, just like he use to whenever she was in that position as he knew it meant she was uncomfortable.

But he knew she didn’t have the right to his affection anymore not after she betr-

His thoughts are cut off as she stands, bringing her phone to her ear, greeting the person on the other end of the line with “Hi baby”.

A scowl made its way onto his face. Not that he had any right to do so.

“How are you? And don’t say you’re okay because I know better love” Douglas’s rough Scottish accent comes from next to her.

“I’m… I’ll be fine Doug, the sooner we’re done with this the sooner everything will be okay”

“Yo-you don’t have to do this, me and the team will tak-“

“Don’t. Everything will be fine after I’ve done this Dougie, you and the guys will be fine.”

They sit in silence. Doug didn’t like the plan she was going through with but he’s known her for years and knows she isn’t going to change her mind.

After training with the Avengers Y/n left, despite Fury telling her to stay and have dinner with them. Douglas left straight after the awkwardness of dinner was done, and being the only person who knew where she was staying, he headed straight there.

She brought this house for her and Bucky to live in after they retired, which they both agreed would be just before they married.

The home was beautiful, four bedrooms with two bathrooms, a large living room, kitchen with a pantry off the side of it, dinning room, an office that she had already planned to turn into a man cave for him. Two car garage, backyard was huge with a beautiful willow tree - as soon as she saw it she knew she had to have the house.

Bucky never knew about the house, she wanted to surprise him. It never happened obviously, and with a heavy heart she rented the house out.

The previous renters contract was up a month before she got the phone call from Fury, and there was no way she was going to stay in the tower. So she went to the place she wanted to call home.

“Have you spoke to them?” Doug asked breaking the silence.

“Yeah, driving Fran up the wall”. She laughs causing him to join in.

“She loves them though” He chuckles.

Nodding with a soft smile, “You should get back it’s getting late, I’ll see you tomorrow”

“You’re right” Standing up he pulls her into a hug, kissing her forehead he whispers “Don’t push me away love, not now”

That night she had the same dream as the night before, waking up at the exact same time again.

A week had been and gone, training was going good for both teams; apart for her. None of the Avengers held back, her body throbbed and ached after each session.

Today was the only day where Fury had to step in, seeing Y/n struggle against Wanda’s powers, he had to stop it.

Wanda had Y/n pinned against the wall and slowly dragging her up it, the whole room went quiet. The Avengers moved closer to the redhead whilst Y/n’s team moved closer to her.

“Mar-Marley don’t!” Y/n managed to rasp out to her friend. 

Marley though small was deadly, her powers being similar to that of Wanda’s “She’s crushing your chest!” She shot back.

“I-it’s ok-okay”

“Wanda put her down!” Fury demanded.

“No. She’s a traitor, she betrayed all of us”

“Wanda!” Fury started to get nervous for the woman being pinned to the wall.

When Wanda’s eyes shot towards Marley, Y/n grew scared. She didn’t want either one of them hurting each other. “Marl-Marley stop! T-that’s an or-order!”

“She’s hurting you. And she’s lying!”

“No she isn’t. She’s a traitor” Tony shouted.

“Admit it and I’ll let you go голубица” Wanda smiles.

Even with the pain of her chest being crushed it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the pet name slipping from her former best friends lips.

“Admit. It. Y/n.” Everyone aside from Wanda flinched at the sound of Y/n’s ribs breaking.

Y/n bit the inside of her cheek, hard enough to draw blood. She wasn’t going to give Wanda the satisfaction of seeing or hearing the pain she was going through. She held Wanda gaze, both women refusing to backdown.

“D-Doug…ge-get Marley out of h-here”.

She sees in the corner of her eye Douglas struggling to pull Marley with him. “If the little girl wants to play, let’s do it” Wanda says breaking eye contact with Y/n to look towards Marley.

“No! N-no don’t!”

“Admit it then Y/n, admit to your team that you’re nothing but a liar and a traitor” Wanda screams.

“It wasn’t her!” Fury shouted, taking in a shuddering breath afterwards.

“What?” Steve’s eyes bounce from Y/n to Fury.

“She wasn’t the one who betrayed us.”

“Liar!” Wanda screams again just as she brings Y/n’s body away from the wall, throwing her back into it.

“I’m not lying Maximoff! Now let her go!” Fury shouted.

“Sh-she betrayed u-us!” Y/n’s heart broke at the sight of the tears filling up in Wanda’s eyes.

“She didn’t lass.” Douglas says as he still struggles to gain somewhat of control over Marley. 

The hold on Y/n was released as she drops to the floor gasping for air. Her team run straight over to her as well as Fury who looks over at the other team with disappointment in his eyes.

“I-I’m okay” Y/n mumbles before succumbing to the darkness. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dr Cho asks when she sees Y/n trying to get out of the bed.

“I need to le-leave”

“You’ve just had your breast bone fractured and several ribs broken Y/n. You need to rest”

“I’m leavi-“

“No you’re not love, you need to stay” Douglas speaks from the doorway.

“I-I need to speak to them, it’s six”

“You need rest soldier, come on I’ll even stay with you, it’ll be like old times ay?” He smiled softly at the woman he respected more than anyone.

“Bu-“

“No buts my sweet girl, back in bed now” He gives Helen a nod before climbing into the bed with Y/n. “Get some rest love, I’ve got you”.

The next day Y/n wakes up in an empty hospital bed. Removing the wires from her, she stands up and carefully puts her clothes back on.

She crept out of the room and down the corridor, knowing exactly where she needed to go.

Hearing the raised voices coming from the briefing room, she took in a deep breath before slowly exhaling.

“-your concern Scottie”

“It is when the witch tries to kill my friend”.

“Friend” Bucky scoffs.

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“I see the way you look at her”

“Don’t be stu-“

“Doug stop.” Y/n says as she walks in.

“What are you doing here? Your meant to be resting”

“I’m fine”.

Marco pulls out a chair for her, gesturing for her to sit smiling at the woman who saved his life time after time.

“I’m going to say what I have to say then I’m leaving, don’t worry Nick my team will still help”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be there, can’t exactly back out of a deal now can I?” Fury’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion and Bucky noticed Douglas tensing at her words.

Sighing deeply, she closes her eyes “Sit or stand I don’t care but here’s the truth- I was the one that did betray you. I’m not sorry either”

“Y/n stop lying!” Fury says.

“…fine. It was Sharon.”

“That’s a lie!” Steve shouts.

“No it’s not. You see Steve, she was fucking you but she wanted your best friend. She wanted me out of the way, I didn’t even know that you lot were branding me as a traitor until Hydra found me several months later. Oh and I also killed Sharon”.

The Avengers sit there searching their memories from four years ago, and sure enough everything they were told was by Sharon.

“Wait what do you mean you killed her?” Steve asks.

“I put a round of bullets into her head, she was there with Hydra when they came knocking” She shrugged.

“But th-then that means you didn’t betray us?” Tony wheezes out.

“I’m many things but I’m loyal to a fault”

“I’m so-“

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear any apologies. Not from any of you. Fury I’m gonna go now, I’ll see you on the day of the mission.”

Leaving the room before anyone can say anything she heads back to the house.

*Four years ago.*

The nausea was driving her insane, she was on her way back from a mission with a handful of SHIELD agents who could hear her gagging in the back of the quinjet. Nothing was happening for her though.

“Talk to Cho and see if it’s something you ate or something” Lucas said to her as she came and sat down.

“Yeah I might”

And she did just that, getting off the jet she headed straight to medical bay. Telling Helen all her symptoms the nurse tells her to undo her suit and lay on the bed.

“What the hell is that noise?”

Chuckling “That’s a heartbeat, wait no there’s two. Look-“

“What? How?…What?” She always wanted to be a mum but Bucky thought he couldn’t have children because of what Hydra did to him.

“Two strong hearts, you’re having twins Y/n congratulations darling” Helen beams.

It’s only as she was zipping her suit back up she noticed the small prodding bump. Smiling she walks through the corridors subtly touching her stomach as she goes, reaching the common room she sees her friends - her family.

“Hey, where’s Bucky?” She’s asks.

“He’s in your twos room” Steve says with a smile.

“Okay thanks” Reaching the door to hers and Bucky’s room she didn’t realise that the team had followed her, with a smirk on their faces.

Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of Bucky’s bottom half covered by the quilt moving back and forth and Natasha underneath him with her arms around his neck.

Natasha was the first one to see her, with a smirk playing on her lips she taps Bucky’s shoulder making him look at the doorway. His face completely void of showing any resemblance of emotion.

The team honestly expected Y/n to say anything, something, but not a single word comes from her mouth.

Instead she vanishes into thin air. The only sound for them to hear was her engagement ring clinking off the floor.

*Seven months after.*

Y/n did the most cliche of things, by moving to the middle of nowhere. She had a three bed cottage with acres of land.

It became her sanctuary. The one place she felt at peace, at home.

Most nights she didn’t sleep and if she did she was plagued by the images of Bucky in bed with Natasha. Tossing and turning throughout the night with silent tears streaming down her cheeks, the only thing that she had left in this world was her unborn babies and Roxy the fox that would come to see her every night.

At 8 months pregnant with the twins she was huge. She didn’t know what she was having, nor did she have a scan, which did sadden her. Luckily for her though the pregnancy was going smoothly. 

It was turning ten o’clock at night on a Thursday, she knew something was wrong when Roxy hadn’t showed up. The hairs on her arms stood to attention, Y/n could feel the air changing - becoming toxic.

“Little pig little pig I know you’re in there” A loud rough voice came from outside.

“Whatever you’re selling I’m not buying” She shouted back.

“Not selling anything sweetheart, you’ve got something that belongs to us.” The voice says again causing her to roll her eyes.

Creeping as much as she possibly could with an 8 month pregnancy bump towards the window leaving her to mutter out a quiet ‘fuck’ as she sees the two dozen men outside, armed and ready for a fight. Rolling her eyes once again at the symbol embroidered on their chest of the suits they wore.

Hydra.

She hated that she just couldn’t snap into thin air, more than ever right now. She had tried it a few times - like the time she ventured out in public to go to the store, and she was standing there in the middle of isle three when she had an accident. The most humiliating thing she ever endured. Trying so hard to disappear even as she tried to helped the young woman who worked there clean up her mess.

Even after she left the store without her things she walked as fast as she could to the beat up jeep she had, trying desperately to get it to work, nothing happened.

For weeks after that event she kept trying but always failed. It had only happened once and that was many years ago now, it was when she was shot in the leg. Her emotions were all over the place, she was only fourteen. It hit her that it was because of the twins she couldn-

“Come on Y/n you’ve got no where to run, you’ve got no one to help you, just co-come out”. A new, familiar voice was now heard.

Y/n squinted her eyes thinking of a way to not only protect her babies but the woman who had been her friend for years, the woman who she thought and believed had been abducted by Hydra and was being used to get her.

“Sharon? What are you doing here? Long time no see huh”

“Y/n they promised that they won’t hurt us, just come out”.

‘Think. Think. Oi don’t kick me right now. Come on and think’ repeating softly to herself as she looked around the room. Of course her home was littered with all sorts of weapons and ammunition but she didn’t want to be the first one to shoot just incase Sharon got caught in the crossfire.

“You’ve got five seconds to come out willingly before we start shooting. We don’t need you alive little pig just need that special little thing you stole from Hyd-“

Sharon’s safety wasn’t a priority anymore, not now that Hydra thinks her babies belonged to them. He gets cut off with a bullet in between his eyes.

“Let’s go boys” She shouts as bullets zoomed through the air one straight after the other.

Bullets tore their way all throughout her home, destroying everything she had built for herself and her babies. Holes littering one side of the home.

“No no no not that vas- goddamnit!” She mutters as her favourite vase smashes into tiny little pieces. “Now it’s personal”.

One by one the sound of heavy gunfire became more quieter, until there was only two guns firing.

She grimaces as a bullet skimmed her cheek, she readied herself to shoot again when a bullet was fired.

“Y-Y/n are you hit?” Sharon shouts.

“No, it took you long enough to help out Shaz”

“I’m coming in okay”

Y/n moved away from her position, moving towards the fireplace mantle to pick up a photo of her parents that had been hit when the door came open.

“How did they get you? Are you hurt?” Y/n says with her back to Sharon. “I’ve missed yo-“.

A gun clicking from behind her stopped her words from coming out. Sighing with an eye roll she continues her task of trying to get the glass out of the picture frame. “What are you doing Sharon?”

“What’s so important about you? Why does everyone always want you huh?”

“Hell if I know, nothing special about little ol’ me it’s quite annoying really”.

“What was Simon talking about?” Sharon questions.

“Who the hell is Simon?”

“The leader, the first one you killed”

“Oh him, I’m not sure. Didn’t he tell you when he abducted you?” Y/n could see a glimpse of her friend through the broken glass, gun ever so slightly shaking as her arm starts to tremble.

“They didn’t abduct me, I’ve been working with Hydra for over a three years now.”

It took her by surprise hearing that “Fair enough” is all she says.

“Yep, I told the Avengers that you turned rat and was betraying them and they all believed it”

“Silly twats, aren’t they?” Y/n chuckles.

“Turn around. Slowly and put your hands in the air” Sharon demanded.

“And wave them around like you just don’t care” Y/n sings, as she slowly turned around and raised her hands.

Sharon audibly gasped and stumbled backwards “Yo-you’re pregnant…”

“No shit Sherlock”

“Whose is it?”

“Bucky’s but don’t tell him it’s a secret” She winks.

“You bitch!” The blonde screams “you’ve taken my life!” She starts to pace back and forth, eyes bouncing from the gun to Y/n’s stomach.

“Not yet I haven’t…” Y/n whispers.

“I love him you know! But no he wanted you, you had him and I had to settle for Steve. And now, now you’re having the love of my life’s baby!”

Despite the situation she was in Y/n couldn’t stop the sharp tang in her heart at the sight of the tears gathering in her friends eyes. But just to be a bitch she corrected the blonde “Babies, plural”

“Y-you’re having twins?”

“Yep”

Her throat tightened as she sees Sharon’s finger squeezing on the trigger, both sets of eyes shot straight to the gun as it jams.

It all happened so fast, Y/n grabbed the gun and using the handle to smack Sharon in the face, causing the woman to fall on the floor screaming in pain. Y/n walked past her to leave her home when Sharon’s hand wrapped itself around her ankle and pulled her to the ground. Sharon was up first out of the pair and was straddling Y/n back, gripping her hair in a tight vice she raised Y/n’s head before smacking it down. Again and again and again.

Sharon finally gets up kicking Y/n’s side in the process. “I’m going to do the thing I should of done years ago, you ruined my life-“

The blonde gets cut off when Y/n kicks her legs out from underneath her, causing her to fall back down.

“You’re fucking crazy you know that Sharon, Jesus”. Ever so slowly she manages to get up, her hands going to her belly “All this for a man? You’ve really lost your bloody marbles Shaz!”

“It’s Bucky! I love him” Sharon screams.

“Yeah well so did I until I caught him fucking my best friend!” She screamed back.

The pain and confusion flashed over Sharon’s face “No, your lying”

“I’m not. God I wish I was, but nope caught him fucking Natasha”

“He wouldn’t do that to me!”

“You? He was engaged to me, you absolute weirdo. Sharon just stop alright, it’s over I’m done. You want him so badly have at him! I don’t, I don’t want to fight you anymore, so please get up off my floor, stop crying and leave.”

She watches as Sharon picks herself off the ground, who then stops as they both hear that one sound Y/n had been dreading.

Her waters splashing onto the floor.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” She whispers to herself as she looks down at the sight.

With Y/n distracted she didn’t see Sharon standing fully or her running towards her.

The punch to her stomach caused her to stumble backwards, the punch to her cheek that had been sliced open by the bullet from earlier caused her to flinch. The pain in her abdomen intensified as she sees Sharon bending down to grab the gun.

“Told you I was going to end th-“ Sharon says just before she’s cut off with a bullet in between her eyes.

Whether it was because of the pain to her aching body or at the fact she was just made to kill someone she thought was a good friend, her finger wouldn’t stop pulling on the trigger.

Even after the gun kept clicking.

“Stupid bitch you could have just left but no you had to be a cunt” Y/n shouts at the dead body laying in her living room.

Dropping the gun, her hand went in between her thighs, bringing her hand back up her heart dropped at the sight of blood.

Slowly walking to find her phone she dialled the number of the one person she trusted more than anyone in this world.

“Hi love, we’ll b-“

“Doug I-I need you. Babies are comi-“ She cuts herself off when a scream tears its way out.

“We’re on our way!”

“H-hurry.” She says just as she drops the phone as she slides down to the floor.

Doug and Fran arrived as fast as they humanly could. Both of their hearts dropped to the pit of their stomachs when they saw all the bodies lying in her front yard.

Running inside they see the body of a blonde and Y/n, legs open as she births her baby.

“Love we’re here, Doug get towels quickly” Fran’s frantic yet soft voice says.

“I-it’s the second one” and that’s when the ringing of adrenaline fades and was replaced by a cry, when they look to the side they see the tiny body of baby number one.

Neither Fran or Doug moved as they watched their friend deliver her second baby. Neither one of them could wrap their heads around the strength Y/n showed time and time again.

It shouldn’t have surprised them really.

“T-this one’s a girl, what about the other one” Y/n asked, voiced laced with tiredness.

“A boy, he’s a beautiful baby boy” Fran smiles as she picks the still crying baby up, handing him over to his momma.

“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Y/n’s eyes move from her babies to the couple in front of her.

“R-really love? You want to name them after us?” Doug asks with tears in his eyes.

“Of course, you’re their godparents after all”

*two months before Fury rings her*

Y/n makes her way through the busy streets with her head down. She can’t stop the eye roll when she notices the two agents following her.

Slowing her pace she waited for the inevitable to happen.

As the agents got behind her a black van comes skidding past, the sliding door comes open, a sack is placed over her head and she’s pushed in.

“Do you guys want me to act scared or what?”

“Shut up”.

“Feisty”

After a while the van comes to a stop and she’s all but dragged out of it.

When the sack was removed her eyes dart around, rolling her eyes for the hundredth time, she’s in an abandoned warehouse.

“Ah Ross, so good to see you. You know if you wanted to see me so badly you could have just called” She smiles at the man.

“Wanted to surprise you Y/n”

“Oh yeah no I noticed, I was so surprised I didn’t see it coming…notice the sarcasm?”. Her head tilts to the side at the sound of footsteps “Hi Fury”

The man gives her a curt nod “Y/n”

“Wanna tell me why I’m here?”

“We have proof that you weren’t the rat, you can come back to SHIE-“

“Absolutely not. I’m fine in doing what I’m doing now thanks, can I go?”

“Y/n you’re a mercenary-“

“It pays the bills” She shrugs.

Fury shakes his head at Ross when he tries to continue, “You didn’t seem so surprised when he mentioned a rat, why?”

“Bit slow aren’t you? Let me guess the one that betrayed you was…Sharon? Yep I knew, um three years ago? Yeah something like that”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Didn’t think you lot deserved the truth so, can I now go?”

“We need to tell the Aveng-“ 

“No. Don’t, look let’s just keep everyone thinking I turned rat okay? It’s the best for everyone.”

Both men look to each other before slowly nodding. “It’s so great to see you Y/n” Fury says as he tries to pull her into a hug.

Stepping back she puts her hands up “I don’t like being touched nowadays, so no touching but it’s great to see you too Nicky”

“I told you not to call me that. See you” He chuckles and making his exit.

“We need to talk Y/n” Ross sighs once the pair are alone.

“About?”

“Your old team” 

Her heart stops.

“W-what about them?” She knows exactly what it’s about.

Rubbing his hand over his face, he looks at her with sympathetic eyes. “The officials want you all to pay for what happened that night”.

“We was set up Ross! Right from the get go, it was all a fucking set up!”

“I know, Y/n I know. I tried telling them but they won’t listen to me” He speaks earnestly.

“Why aren’t they going after John?”

John Cooper, a name she hasn’t heard or spoke of or thought of for over ten years now. He was Y/n’s handler for a year, he made her go out and find people who was at the top of their game. She didn’t know why but she did as she was told to do, finding the best of the best.

Douglas - best snipper in the army. Helped that he could fight like a beast.

Marco - best hacker she had ever seen, fighter, built like a brick wall (secretly a cuddle bear).

Colleen - she saved Y/n’s life when she had been cornered in a dark alleyway neither her or her attacker saw the knife coming. No brainer.

Marley - a young girl at the time was an experiment Y/n stumbled on, she didn’t have the heart to leave her and when she saw what she was capable of doing, she brought her on board too.

Then there was Hank - the biggest mistake she ever made. He was ruthless and conniving, she thought it would work well in her favour until they all heard screaming and they saw him pinning a seventeen year old Marley to the wall and was trying to shove his hand into the girls trousers. Y/n didn’t hesitate to put a bullet into his skull, catching Marley as she fell.

John said they needed another person but she refused. There was no way she was going to bring another person in, not after what had happened.

Their mission was for them to break into a government base and download all the information off the computers, when they got there, there was dead bodies of workers.

Pulling back Y/n ordered them to leave, the moment they stepped back outside they were surrounded by the military, FBI and even SHIELD. 

That was the night she met both Ross and Fury.

“Y/n he’s dead, died in a Mexican prison seven years ago.”

“Oh…”

“I need you to tell me the locations of all four of them”

Chuckling softly, “that’s not going to happen Ross and you know it.”

“No I know-“

“If I give them me, confess to murdering all those people, tell them l was the only person that did it, will they leave them alone?” She asks desperately.

“But that’s not tr-“

“It doesn’t matter what’s true or not Ross. Will they yes or no?”

Closing his eyes he whispers “yes”.

“Let me make one phone call and I’ll come with you, right here right now”.

“That doesn’t need to happen. I’ll need your help soon, you help and I’ll make sure you get a fair trial”

“My old team walks. Free and clear, no one comes after them and I want it in writing Ross.”

“Deal.”

Shaking hands she walks back over to the van, hopping in “take me back from where you kidnapped me from”.

*Back to the present*

The first thing she did when she got into her car was FaceTime Fran who answered after a few rings.

“Hey”

“Hi, Doug told me what happened you’re supposed to be resting Y/n/n”.

“I’m fine,honestly. Where’s my little terrors?”

Laughing Fran calls for the twins, Y/n couldn’t stop smiling when she heard their feet’s pounding on the floor shouting for her.

“Here, talk to momma - I’ll talk to you after okay missy”.

“Of course. Hi babies”

“Momma” they replied in unison. To see them brought a smile to her lips, her heart ached with the need to hold them in her arms.

“Guess what bubbas!”

“What” Logan asked.

“Momma loves you both, so so much!”

“I wuv you mama” Harlow screams down the phone, making her and Fran laugh.

“Logie aren’t you going to tell me the same?”

“I wuv you momma so so so so so so much” His little face beams.

They were truly the perfect mixture of Y/n and Bucky. Logan had Y/n’s eyes whilst Harlow had Bucky’s, Harlow had her fathers smile and Logan had his mommas. The mannerisms of the pair were the exact same as their parents.

She spoke with them for close to an hour, them telling her all about their fun filled day. Saying goodbye to them pained her, she hated saying them words to her babies. Speaking with Fran for a bit she ended the call and went back to the house.

In dire need of sleep.

The rest of the week passed, Douglas visiting her most days and telling her that the team of superheroes wanted to see her to apologise, nothing was ever said back to him, leaving him hoping that things were different. 

It was the day of the mission, she rang Fran so she could speak to her babies one last time. She left the house and headed back to the tower.

“It’s important that everyone knows exactly what the plan is. Nothing can go wrong”. Fury speaks from the head of the table. “Anyone want to saying anything?”

“Yeah, Y/n I’m so so-“ Wanda tries to say.

“It’s fine. Let’s just get this over and done with, my guys- are you ready?”

“Yes boss” All answer.

“Well, good luck everyone”.

On the quinjet ten minutes later, awkwardness filled the air as both teams sit on opposite sides. No words are spoken other than the pilot saying they were taking off.

Exactly three hours twenty-five minutes and 13 seconds - she timed it - was how long it took for Tony to say something, to be honest she was shocked it took him that long.

“Y/n can we talk?”

“If it’s an apology I don’t want it, it mean’s absolutely nothing to me. If it’s about the mission, then yes we can talk.”

“We need to apologise Y/n/n”

The nickname coming from Sam’s lips make her flinch. “I don’t want it nor need it.”

The quinjet fell silent once again.

That was until Bucky broke it. “I never cheated on you”

Everyone noticed the flash of pain in her eyes, “what?”

“I never slept with Nat, we pretended in order to hurt you, ba-Y/n we believed that you betrayed us”

“Believed Sharon don’t you mean.”

“We-I didn-“

“Awesome.”

“What?”

“I think it’s funny that instead of asking me and oh I don’t know believing me, instead you all believed a desperate blonde who had to settle for the man who still pines after her dead aunt, it’s quite absurd to me really.”

“We didn’t know what to believe Y/n. You’re the one that killed Sharon s-“ Steve speaks and ultimately gets cut off.

“I only killed her because I had no other choice!”

“There’s always a choice” He spat back.

“You’re right. But that night I didn’t have one, I wish it wasn’t but she left me no choice!”

“Why did you do it?”

“Pilot how long do we have long left?” They all look baffled by her change of the subject.

“We’re nearly here Miss”.

“Thanks” turning to look Bucky directly in the eyes “when this is all over Doug can explain it to you, end of discussion.”

The quinjet lowers to the ground and everyone takes their leave, just as Y/n walked past Douglas she slides two things into his pocket before gripping his hand and smiling towards him, he squeezes her hand and leans over to place a kiss to her temple.

Bullets fly freely, smoke fill their lungs, grunts and screams are heard. Pushing forwards they all work as one.

They had only been there for less than an hour before the remaining members of The Lords surrender.

After all the intel was gathered, the prisoners on board, they hear the sound of another jet.

“What the hell?” Tony asks.

The Avengers watch as Y/n gives each of her team a lingering hug - who all apart from Douglas looked confused.

As she gets to Doug hugging him too, she whispers something into his ear that even the two super soldiers couldn’t hear, pulling back they stand to attention and salute one another.

She says nothing as she passes them and up the soldiers who put handcuffs on her.

“What the hell just happen-“ Bucky stumbles out but is cut off when the jet carrying the woman who he was still very much in love with inside exploded.

Marley screams and the sound breaks Douglas’s heart, he grabs the woman who he’s always seen as his daughter in his arms as well as Colleen who falls to her knees. Marco stands there with his dark brown eyes not moving away from the still falling parts of the jet.

The Avengers, they all have silent tears streaming down their cheeks, none of them know what to say or do. They’ve just witnessed the person who at one point they trusted more than anything, the person they all betrayed just die.

Douglas walks past them all with both women in his arms and walks straight up the ramp with Marco following behind.

When everyone’s on board the quinjet they see him sitting in the seat Y/n was occupying.

“The day she walked in on you fucking her best friend she found out she was pregnant. The night she killed Sharon, Hydra had showed up at her home wanting the babies, that scar she has-had on her cheek was from a bullet graze, Sharon tried to kill Y/n - caused her to go into early labour. Y/n killed Sharon because she had no other choice, hell she even gave the blonde bitch an out. When me and my wife got there she was in the middle of delivering her second baby.” He shakes his head sadly “the reason my best friend is dead is because of us” pointing to himself and the other three “she made a decision to leave her babies behind just so we didn’t get given the death penalty”.

Douglas pulls out the items Y/n had put into his pocket, her ring - the one with two love hearts that represented her twins, and her dog tags that also had two smaller tags with the twins names, date of birth engraved on them.

“James, she made me and my wife adopt the twins. She knew exactly what she was going to do when Ross talked to her about their deal, she said it was okay for us to let you see them. But please don’t think for one second that you’ll be able to take them away from us, because pal even if you are a super solider I’ll still kill you.”

Bucky sits there with tears in his eyes, “what’s their names?”

“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Doug tells him with a smile.

“Ca-if it’s okay with you and your wife, can I meet them?”

“You won’t try anything stupid?”

“No, god no of course not!”

“Then yeah that can be arranged.”

For two years Bucky sees the children he didn’t know existed until two years ago.

His heart dropped to his stomach when Douglas took him to the house that Y/n had brought for them to live in after they retired. It became the warm loving home for Douglas, Fran and the kids.

Bucky did retire, the day after he lost the love of his life and met his children for the first time, and not only that but he also brought the house next door.

He formed a great bond with the couple who let him see the kids whenever he wanted - which was now every day since he moved next door.

The bond he had with his children was now unbreakable. Everyday he was reminded of what he lost and lost out of just by looking at their adorable little faces. He loved them so deeply, loving them at its purest form. He wishes more than anything that he could go back in time and redo everything all over again, but since he can’t he continues to make up for lost time.

He’s sat in the living room with the kids, Doug and Fran when a knock comes from the front door, he watches as Doug goes to answer and truly didn’t think anything of it.

“Hi babies” A warm voice says.

“Momma!” The twins scream in unison.

Shooting up from were he was laying on the floor building with the Lego set Steve brought Logan, he watches his kids jump up and run over to Y/n who instantly picks them up.

She’s alive. She’s standing right in front of him. His chest tightens. She’s really here.

“H-how?” He whispers but she hears it.

“You’ve been doing so great with them, I’ve been watching” she smiles.

He walks slowly over to her as she puts the kids down and he doesn’t hesitate or think about it before he smashes his lips to hers.

“I still love you Y/n/n”

“I still love you Bucky”

The kids squeal and jump in circles around their parents as Doug and Fran hold on to each other. 

Y/n pulls away from the man she still loves after everything and picks up her big babies.

“I told you I’ll always come back”

~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[echobx]

Everyone has a Price (part 4) - Rafe × virgin!fem!reader

summary: y/n is angry at Rafe but after a fight that end with them in the sheets, they figure out a way to stop talking past each other and instead start talking with each other

word count: 1.8k

warnings: angsty, miscommunication, verbal fighting, hate/make up sex, smut, p in v (unprotected), oral (fem receiving), riding him, vulnerable moments, fluffy

author's note: hmmm, idk fr this time. the table thing tho...

kinktober masterlist ✘ series masterlist

   When you wake up, you're back in the pool house, and it makes you feel dirty in a way, like he doesn't want you in his bed for more than just sex. The note on your bedside table is an explanation for it, but it doesn't soothe your mind much. 

   “Business meetings all day long. I'm sorry. I'll see you tonight.” It reads before you ball it up and throw it away. You tell yourself that you don't need him anyway. The deal is done. He got what he paid for, and you can forget he exists and quickly leave before he gets back. That's what you should definitely do. 

   The phone ringing drags you back to reality, and when you pick it up, it's none other than Rafe on the other end of the line. 

   “Did you sleep well?” he asks, and you pick at the comforter that is still draped over you. 

   “Did you bring me down here?” you ask, annoyed still. 

   “Yes, I sleep alone, always,” he explains, but it still stings. 

   “I'm going home today. The deal is done,” you say, and he doesn't know if he's heard you correctly.

   “You- You can't go home yet. You still have a few days left here.” 

   “The contract was fulfilled. I don't owe you anything anymore,” you say and hang up the phone. You are aware that his blood is probably boiling right now, but you don't see why you should stay. He didn't mean what he said the night before, he was just drunk on sex, surely. 

   An hour later, you have your things packed and are standing ready to pull your suitcase out of the front door and walk all the way to the airport if you need to, but someone is standing in your way. 

   “Let me leave,” you tell Grayson, but he shakes his head. 

   “Boss said he needs to talk to you before you leave. So, no, I can't let you leave.” 

   “That's illegal. That's kidnapping!” you yell and stomp your feet like a child, but the huge man won't budge. 

   You go to sit on the couch inside, trying to watch a movie to get your mind off how much you hate that Rafe won't let you leave and put a clear-cut on your situation. But he comes by two hours later, storming into the pool house, furious with you, mostly. 

   “What the fuck do you think you're doing?” he snaps, and you shrug, you don't even care to look at him. 

   “We had a deal, but I guess I'm the only one playing by the rules here,” you say, holding your head up high until his hand closes around your throat, and you lose your composure. 

   “Don't make me,” Rafe hisses. He's not hurting you, just holding you in place. 

   “You got what you wanted, now let me leave,” you say, feeling a hot tear run down your face. 

   “What I wanted was a quick fuck, not some spoiled bitch to fumble my fucking brain,” he barks and pulls you up to force a kiss onto your lips. You don't even try to push him off, maybe because you wouldn't manage anyway, but mostly because you don't want to. 

   “Why are you not fighting me? You wanna leave, then fight for it!” he spits in your face. 

   “You're an asshole, you know that? You treat me like I'm a whore!” you finally snap and push him off you. 

   “I didn't sell my body,” Rafe hits back, and you feel like you could slap him. 

   “Yet you bought me. So pick a lane, Rafe. Either you fucking pay me like you always wanted and look at me like I'm nothing more than your sex toy of the week, or you stop this shit and let me make my own decisions!” you scream, and he steps away, pacing the space between the living room and kitchen. 

   “I don't fucking care about the money,” he shakes his head, glancing at you before he continues walking. 

   “Then what do you care about, Rafe?” you scoff. 

   “You're a real bitch, you know. Maybe I should've let one of the others fuck you. Maybe you'd be acting less entitled then,” he spits, and you laugh. 

   “We had a contract. I'm honoring the contract!” 

   “Were you? When you let me do things that are strictly non-negotiable and “never to happen”?” He glares, and you don't know what to say. 

   You opt for the easy way out. “I hate you,” you tell him, getting up to head for the front door, but he catches your arm and pulls you back into his arms. 

   “I’m allowed to hate you too, then,” he hushes before his lips hit yours, and you can't help but kiss him back. His lips are so soft, and he tastes and smells like heaven. 

   Rafe walks you into the bedroom, laying you down on the bed as he continues to kiss you, his hands bunching up the dress you're wearing and pulling your slip down. 

   “Tell me to stop,” he says against your lips, but you can't. You're too overwhelmed with how much you need him inside you at that moment. Your fingers are clumsily opening his belt and jeans, putting your hand into his boxer briefs and pumping him while he tries to wiggle his pants off and pull the boxers down completely. 

   And when he sinks into you, you don't even care about the pain, the sting every thrust causes because having him just for you is worth it. 

   “No one but me- Mine-” Rafe pants as he picks up his pace, fucking you faster and rougher until you soak his cock, but he continues, and you don't know how he does it. 

“Just you,” you pant searching for his lips until he grants you a sloppy kiss, groaning into you as he finishes, painting your clenching walls white. 

   Rafe is breathing heavily as he lies by your side, your head turned to look at him while he's staring at the ceiling. 

   “I don't want you to leave,” he says, still not looking at you. 

   “Why not?” you ask, propping your head up on your head as you fully turn to look at him. 

   “You don't like to get bossed around,” he smiles. “The girls that want me don't give two fucks about what I tell them to do, they just do it and hope to get picked.” 

   “You got low standards,” you chuckle. 

   “And yours are high up in the sky,” he replies, looking at you, and if you didn't know better you’d say he looks almost in love. 

   “I wouldn't be here if they weren't.” 

   “The thought of someone else- Call me a selfish, egotistical asshole, all right,” he huffs a laugh. 

   “I have college, I can't stay forever,” you whisper, reaching out to hold onto his cheek. “It's not like you would actually want me that close, either.” 

   “I'm sorry for this morning, okay? I should've just let you sleep there, while I take the couch,” he sighs. 

   “Why don't you wanna sleep next to me?” you ask softly, and he shakes his head. 

   “The last time I slept in a bed with anyone next to me, my mom was still with us. I don't- Don't analyze me,” he furrows his brows at you when he sees your wide eyes. 

   “I see, but I don't like that. I feel like I'm the unwelcomed mistress when you do that,” you tell him, and he nods. 

   “We can try it, but I can't promise anything.” 

   You spend the rest of the day cuddling in bed and fucking, although you're sore and should probably rest, and when he falls asleep by your side you tell yourself to not be mad at him when you wake up alone again. 

   The next day he spends with you, going shopping and eating yourselves through the city basically, and for once you aren't reminded that the time you have is limited and about how all of it came to be. At dinner, you refuse to sit so far away from him, feeling lonely with that much table in between you. And when Rafe kisses you, the help leaves the room almost instantly, which comes to your advantage because you hadn't expected to be his dinner that day. 

   Rafe wipes his plate off the table and lays you down on the silky table cloth, his head buried between your legs, licking long stripes up your cunt and gently biting your clit. You're moaning so loud you fear your voice will be gone the next day, but you actually don't mind it. His skilled tongue is pulling one orgasm from you after the other. 

   “So fucking delicious,” Rafe pants, wiping his face clean on the table cloth before picking you up and carrying you upstairs. 

   Maybe you would call it a Honeymoon Phase, but you're still unsure if you're actually falling for him or not. But that is made pretty clear when he makes you straddle him and fuck yourself on his thick cock. 

   “I'll teach you,” he breathes into a kiss, his hands gripping your hips and moving them up and down his impressive length. 

   “That's deep,” you gulp, but keep moving anyway, too drunk on how good he feels inside of you. 

   “You're being such a good girl for me, y/n. My perfect little slut,” he praises you, and you take it to push him to lie down. With your hands perched on his chest, you start bouncing on him, fast and heavy, bringing yourself to an orgasm within minutes. 

   But instead of finishing and pulling out, Rafe pulls out and pushes you to lie down, while he positions himself behind you, sliding into your soppy core while lying down on top of you so you can't move anymore. His thrusts grow sloppy soon after, and he groans, biting your shoulder while coming. 

   “Y/n, please let me be the only one to fuck you,” he begs as you lie there, and you are too fucked out to actually think clearly.

   “Always. Me too. Me too, please,” you murmur into his pillows. 

   “No one but you, ever again. I promise,” Rafe whispers, kissing the bite mark on your shoulder and hearing your soft approving hum. 

   When you wake up, he's still by your side, and you're still in his room. You can't be sure if the deal you had made the night before was legit or not, but you want it to be. 

   You decide to get up and clean yourself a bit, but before you can step away, he grasps for your hand, holding onto your wrist. 

   “Don't leave me, love,” Rafe sounds sexy, half asleep, and you crawl back into bed. “Don't ever leave.” 

   “I won't,” you promise, because even though you shouldn't, you know he'll find a way to make it work if he really wants it. And you would rather give up law than sex with Rafe Cameron.

please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

taglist: @redhead1180 @spideysimpossiblegirl @drwstarkeyy @princessmaybank @kys4-20 @immyowndefender @julczimozart @hoe4sunarin @m2m2m2 @mochimms @itsme-again @maybankslover @th3eternalersi @because-i-like-toxic-men @rafeeekam @carolinaxvz

[supercriminalbean]

Hope you're having a good day/night

I was wondering if I could request Hotch x Male reader, the team get a case that leads back to an old unsolved case of a group of children going missing and start showing up dead at different ages from sever injuries from fighting(?)

Reader is part of the bau but has alot of secrets to hide including being one of the younger children that went missing and managed to escape but not without physical and emotional scars (being forced to play a cruel game of survival of the fittest for the entertainment of the Unsub who streamed the gruesome cruelty)

Maybe the unsub captures reader cause he was the one that got away and the team start to peice together reader was one of the missing kids by how fast reader state of mind went to a primal kill or die (like readers afraid he'll die there and no one will ever find him or know or care so when they do he's relived and breaks down but another part of him think he doesn't deserve it cause of what he's done to survive)

Hotch being there for reader

FIGHT CLUB

Aaron Hotchner x Male!Reader.

Summary: The reader is trying to find the group that ruin his life, but keeping it a secret from his team is differcult when he has to ask them for help.

Warning: Dark fic. Blood, fighting, death, abuse, kidnapping, swearing, drugs, unsub violence, bad eatting habits, bad self care, scars, angst. This whole fic is just dark and strange the ask it self is amazing and may help you know if this is something you can handle. (Any other warnings let me know xx)

Words: 9.4k

A/N: Hiiii! Omg this ask 😍😍 I love you!! I had to split this into a couple different parts due to I'm up to 12k words and got so much more i wanna add to it right now. Next part will be posted next week (hopefully!!) I just couldn't wait to post this. I did change it a little and hope this is what you were after. 🖤🖤 thank you for the request my love.

Part two. Part three. Part four.

Another body has shown up, and if you're right another kid will go missing in just a couple hours a few towns over from the latest body. You know it's just a matter of time as you read the article, one that barely has any information of the latest victim found, another teen boy. While the article prints out you give the detective on the case a call, you know you shouldn't, you should just let this go until your team is called in properly. But hey, there is no harm in asking innocent questions, is there? 

“Hello, this is Detective Rose,” An older man answers.

“Hello Detective, I'm with the FBI, SSA agent (Y/L) from the Bau unit” Your voice comes out sharp as you hold back the emotions swirling in your mind. If this is the group you believe it is, you're going to have to bring your team in, but no way could they know just how long you have been looking for them.

“Oh Agent, how can I help?” The man's voice is filled with confusion.

“I heard you found a body of a teenage boy, I read in the report he was badly injured and a 

John doe, look I think he might be connected to a case I'm working and I need you to send me all the information and photos of this boy you have as soon as you can” You don’t have time to explain to him, nor the patience.

“Case, but there's only one body?” There's a small arrogance laying under his tone as he speaks his next words. “Plus he seems to be a runaway, he doesn’t seem like the type anyone would be after”

“Excuse me” You can’t help but sneer into the phone, anger filling you up. “How dare you, he is a child, someone has to be missing him and even if not he deserves justice, so I figure you better send me what I asked for before I called your boss” Venom seems to drip from your words as your grip the phone like your life depends on it. Silence fills the other end and your patience seems to dry up, opening your mouth to send him another order when he finally speaks up again.

“Of course we don’t need that, files and photos have been sent, reach out again if I —” You hang up before he finishes speaking, you don’t need anything more from him. 

~~~

Sitting on your couch, your mind spinning as you go through the new photos of the crime scene you have received. This is it, this is them, no doubt about it. He fits the victimology, he’s the right age, fit and covered in so many cuts and bruises it’s impossible to see his face. What makes your heart drop the most is the cut on his left forearm, two other previous victims also had it. You know how they got it, hell you got one quite similar to it. Which means you know where they are being kept and where they are going next which means it's time to bring your team in. Grabbing the pile of older files, ones that you have collected over the years, pulling the top few files off the top for the team to see, placing the older ones at the bottom of your to go bag. You can’t let your team know just how long you have been investigating this case. If you do things could unravel and your past could be exposed, the one thing that could never happen, because if it does you might not have a job any more. 

Your phone starts dinging, your alarm going off. Great you pulled another all nighter, something you have been warned against many times in the past month. 

~~~

Hotch has been on your ass a lot lately about looking after yourself, he’s the only one who can tell when you're struggling. Maybe that's why you're having a hard time figuring out how to bring this case to him. You know he’s going to know this isn’t just a regular case for you, you might be good at hiding your personal life and emotions from the team but that doesn’t include Aaron. You're not sure how you grew close to your boss, you two have hangout, outside of work many times, even including getting to know Jack and spending many weekends watching his soccer games, and of course getting ice cream afterwards as a reward. Somehow Aaron managed to get you to join them both for movie nights and your friendship has never been stronger than that night. But then you had to go and ruin it, pulling yourself away from him, when things started feeling real. You started feeling like you belong and not just with him, but with the team you're surrounded by. Belonging somewhere is something you have never felt before and it's terrifying, so you pull away from them all. Space is a good thing plus there were only a few reasons you took this job a few years ago and you need to remember that.

~~~

You're the first one at the office that morning, even beating Hotch to the office for once. You wait at your desk, your desk is different from the others. They all have personal items on their desk, things that make their desk seem more welcoming and comforting. Except yours, its fill of paperwork and a small fake desk plant that Garcia placed there one day that you just didn’t have the heart to move. Aaron arrives not long after you. Aaron stops by the glass door when he spots you, and he’s glad you're facing the other way so he can just watch you for a moment. He can’t help but feel something is wrong, the last few weeks you have been more off than normal. You're someone who keeps to themself and he knows that, maybe that's why he was surprised when you were spending a lot of your time with him and Jack. Not that he minded at all, he loves spending time with you, maybe more than a boss should but he shouldn’t be blamed when it comes to you, you're different. But when he was spending time with you, he managed to figure out your tell, and how you go inside your own mind when things aren’t right. Maybe that's why, even when you started putting more distance between you both, he couldn't help but remind you to get some sleep or remind you to eat, the two things you always seem to forget about. Aaron lets out a small breath, preparing himself for whatever the reason is that you're the first one here. The glass doors open and within a second you're spinning around in your chair, and the first thing Aaron notices is the files in your hands and then the bags underneath your determined eyes.

“Good Morning Hotch” Your voice is full of energy, which he can only put down to the empty coffee cup beside you.

“Morning, you’re here early” Aaron stares at you questionably, raising his eyebrow when you don’t respond.  “Is there a reason why?”

“I need to talk to you, it's important” You jump up quickly, meeting him in the middle of the room.

“Alright, my office then” He bites back a sigh as you nod enthusiastically, climbing up the stairs before him. He can’t help himself but compare you to a puppy, one who uses up all their energy but still refuses to back down when it's time to rest. He’s waiting for you to burn out, it may have been three years with you on the team, but he can’t help but wait for you to break. He doesn’t understand how anyone could keep going at the pace you do without any consequences.

~~~

You both enter his office, Aaron places his bag down before taking a seat at his desk, signalling you to do the same, so you do.

“Okay so I found—” You can’t help but start, holding your own homemade files,your leg bouncing as you speak.

“Stop” Hotch holds his hand up to silence you, dread fills your eyes as you do. “Did you sleep last night?” Accusation dripping from his words, his stern stare digging straight into your sole, making a strange shiver roll down your spine.

“That's not important” The confidence seems to slip by as he stares at you longer, you can’t help but sink in your chair, the uncomfortableness just making you want to run.

“But it is, I need to know my agents are looking after themself” Aaron holds back the proper lectures he wants to give you. Sometimes he wonders how you managed to become a full functioning adult with the way you treat your body, running yourself so low he wonders how you're alive at all.

“I look after myself perfectly fine Aaron” You have to physically bite your tongue to hold back the taunt you want to say instead, but you need him to listen to you instead.

“Do you, because you didn’t sleep last night, and can you even tell me the last time you ate something homemade?” 

“Last night” Smirking cockily at him, you indeed did make something last night so he can suck it.

“It doesn’t count if it was your usual cheese on toast” Aaron smirks as yours slowly disappears. 

“Okay, uncalled for Hotch” Grumbling as you place the files down before crossing your arms. “Look I get it, I need to improve, but I need your help on something much more important, please?” Your mask starts dropping, the fear and doubtfulness visible for just a few seconds, before you pull yourself together again, your face hardening up again.

~~~

“Tell me what this is?” Hotch reaches for the files, the pile alot bigger than he first thought it was.

“Someone is kidnapping teenages all over the country, and just hours surrounded the kidnapping another teenage is found dead a few towns over from the new victim, I have found about seven different cases over the course of 18 months so far, but the dead victims are never the ones from the recent kidnappings, they look older almost like they could have been kidnapped years prior maybe, they all have the same marks all over their body, the victimology is the same” You take a deep breath as Hotch flicks throughs the file. “The ones being taken are either from abusive households or already living on the street, they aim for the ones who are strong but not confident, they seem to find the quiet ones are go after them, but they are quick, they don’t leave much room for the kids to escape, they move fast” Your words seem to run from your mouth, the rush to get out of your mind and into Aarons ear makes you forget to breathe. The urgency is great and he just doesn't understand. 

“You keep saying they” Hotch looks up the files, his boss face activated, his lips pursed together. His eyes burn into you once more, you have to do everything in your power to not physically respond to that call out, unfortunately your body straightens up, your throat clutching. 

“I believe it has to be at least two unsubs if not more, and one of them could possibly be a woman” You take a deeper breath as your heart starts to pace, your mind screaming at you to stop as Aaron's eyes narrow more.

“And why do you think that?”

“Because they're fast, they move around the country, and according to the autopsy the kids are well nutritious, they cause of death is mainly blood lose, or hits to the head, I think—-” You quickly cut yourself off. No you can’t say that, you can’t let that detail out quite yet, he won’t understand, no one will understand not yet. “I think they must be keeping them somewhere safe before they dispose of them” You change the words that almost slip out quickly, but not fast enough for Hotch to not notice. Hotch watches you closely as you grow quiet, waiting for his response. Your leg bouncing as your nails dig into your arms, your eyes begging him to say something, just anything.

“What do you think they are doing to them if they are keeping them for so long then?” His question is innocent enough, but oh lord. Your stomach is now on fire, your eyes darken with anger as you speak.

“Training them to fight each other, fight to the death and then they keep the strong ones for who knows what” Oh but you know, oh you know too well what they are keeping them for and that makes you want to be sick. 

~~~

Silence fills the office as he stares at you, the anger that fills your eyes is something he hasn’t seen before, and he has seen you angry. But this is different, this is almost a murderous glaze in your eyes, something that makes Aaron uncomfortable. 

He knows what he has to do, even if he doesn’t like it. 

“How long have you been investigating this, how did you manage to get all of this information?” His voice is low as he speaks, his words filling with disappointment as he speaks.

“A few months” A lie, you both know that. But Aaron knows better than to question that right now, the can of worms that could open could be too hard to close.

“Why are you just bringing this to me now?” His voice raises, the disappointment sweeping out. “You should of came to me as soon as you saw a pattern forming” 

“I know I should have, but I wanted to see if I was right, maybe see if I could find any clues before bringing the team into a goose chase” You try to reason with him, gulping as if you know what you have to say. “I think I found them, and if I'm right another person was taken last night and I have a feeling that another body will be found near the state line of Nebraska and Wyoming, we need to take this case, we need to save them” A shaky breath leaves you as you lean forward, placing your hands on the desk, your eyes pleading. 

“Aar, please trust me on this” Gulping thickly as you see his eye flash with something unreadable as you say his old nickname, one you haven’t used in months.

“I need to make a few phone calls” He looks away from you as he picks up the phone. Standing up you smile slightly at him, thanking him quietly as you make your way out. 

~~~

The team soon arrives within the hour, where hotch is up in his office on the phone the whole time. Your body is on edge, sipping on your third cup of coffee as your mind runs. The team all stood around, talking and laughing as they usually do. Of course they try to get you to join in, but with one glance at you, they know this morning is not the time to get you to join in with them. It's Dave that talks to you this morning, his eyes couldn’t help but keep drifting to you as the team standing around teasing Reid and his crosswords. 

“Hey kiddo” Dave stands in front of you, pulling you from your mind, and mainly your eyes off Aarons offices.

“Ah, Morning Sir” Forcing a small smile as you do your best to focus on him, and not whatever conversation is going on inside the office right now.

“How many times have I told you Rossi, or Dave is fine? '' He smile’s down at you, hating to see the bags underneath your eyes, or the fresh scratch mask around your wrist. You wear long sleeves half the time, but that doesn’t stop the team from seeing the way your scratch at your arms when you get overwhelmed. 

“Right sorry” Pushing a small chuckle out, as you give him a weak smile. “My bad”

“It's okay, are you doing alright?” Rossi looks down at you worriedly, you weren’t the most talkative but right now you don’t even seem to know how to be your regular self.

“Fine si– Rossi” Your body tenses at the slip up, your eyes flicker back up to Aaron's office.

“Alright, if you ever need to talk kiddo you know I'm around” He smiles at you, one that's full of concern. A part of him wants to reach out, place a hand on your shoulder so you get the message, but he knows it won’t work with you. You don’t react well to physical touch, you jump when someone gets too close. The team remembers the first time Garica tried to give you a hug, you jumped back, hiding behind Morgan who was closest to you in that moment. She touched your shoulders, and you have never moved so fast, your body tensing your hands rolling into fist. You apologised as soon as you calmed down, you gave them no reasoning as to why. But they understood and no one has tried to touch you since, they even became your human shields when random people would try to hug you as a thank you. You were extremely grateful for that, it's been like that for three years now and still no one asks you why and you owe them so much for that.

~~~

Hotch finally emerges from his office after another hour, a sour look plastered across his face, and when you catch his eyes you know why. They found the body. 

“We got a case” Hotch calls out to his team, everyone's head shoots up to him. A deep unnerving tension seems to fill the room due to the seriousness on his face, and the way his eyes never leave yours. The air seems to leave your lungs as you stand up, grabbing your notebook off your desk before following the team into the conference room. Hotch waits by the door as the team walks in, placing his hand up in front of you to stop you. 

“One moment” His voice is low as he speaks, not wishing for the team to overhear.

“We found two bodies, one of them is Jason Ducan” Aaron speaks softly, as he watches your face flicker with recognition at that name. 

“They found a body” You stare up at him, your eyes now empty of emotions, putting them on the backboard as you prepare for this case.

“Jason Ducan, he was my first missing kid when I worked here” Your breathing hitches as fear flashes through your mind, doing your best to keep your poker face on. Do they know where you work, have they been keeping tabs on you for the last three years? Or maybe they never stop keeping tabs on you. 

“He doesn’t fit the profile, he was seven, from a good family. He was too young there is no way they would take someone from a family like that, it would be too difficult” Your mind spins as you speak, your words speeding up, slipping over each other in a hurry. Hotch hates the far away look that creeps into your eyes, almost more than he hates the numbness that dominates inside you. Taking a deep breath, hoping he doesn’t make it worse, Aaron slowly reaches out to you, placing his hand gently on your shoulder. You flinch sharply, your eyes narrowing on his hand, on his familiar touch. Aaron is the only one allowed to touch you, and only at certain times, only when you're ready for it, and normally you welcome his touch. Today is not the day you welcome it, his touch feels like fire, it sends painful memories of your past through your mind. 

“Don’t” Your voice is low and full of danger, a shaky breath follows as he doesnt let go immediately. 

“You need to tell me if this case gets too much, okay” Aaron words hold no judgement as he lets you go and just like he expected you stroll straight past him, anger radiating off you, as you fall into the chair beside Morgan.

~~~

Hotch starts the briefing, grabbing the team's attention with your homemade files. He informs them of everything you had told him that morning, minus your theories. 

“So you made these files?” It was Morgan who asked the question. The one thing that had confused the whole team, because this screamed to them as an off the books case, something Hotch would never do. 

“No I did” You speak up, leaning forward. You almost feel bored as Hotch gives the team the basic information, information you have been sitting on for many years. Everyone's heads turn straight to you, curiosity and surprised looks all over them. The quiet one who normally seems to keep to themself, is investigating a crime alone, and somehow convince Hotch to make it a real case. Oh you could feel the questions and doubt spreading throughout the room, and all you do is smirk at them as you lean forward.

“I didn’t think much of it at first, but something didn’t feel right so once I saw a second body drop in the same way. I started investigating a bit more, but I was always weeks behind, so in my time of hoping for new leads I went back and searched months back trying to find anything” You give them a brief explanation, making sure you don’t make eye contact with anyone, not needing to lose your nerve right now. The room stays quiet, giving you the confidence to keep talking, so taking a deep calming breath you continue. 

“After I got an alert last night of a kid going missing, I knew it was them. Conor Blue, he fits the description that the unsubs go after. He’s between the age of Nine and fourteen, he came from an abusive household and he’s into sports which isn’t always a go to, but something I see they prefer” You speak slower than this morning, remembering to breathe as you do. Hotch might be hard to convince, but making sure the whole team has your back on this case, is something you didn’t think through. You needed their help, because without the team, you can’t get close enough to get rid of them for good.

“How long have you been looking into this?” Emily asks, looking over at you with concern. She can see ghosts in your eyes, and whatever answer you give her, she’s not going to believe you. 

“About four months” Your lie is solided, you know that, you made sure all the files you gave them only look that old. Even if they have older information inside you can say it's from research. 

“He came to me this morning, and I have been on the phone with a few detectives” Aaron glances at you as he says that, your stomach drops. He knows you used your FBI statues to gather information you weren’t supposed to have, opps. “And It seems to be happening all over the country, so we need to make a fast move on this case, two new bodies were discovered this morning” Hotch continues, the team watches you instead of Hotch. They all notice the tense look on your face, the way your eyes darken, your lips tightening as a way to stop yourself from interrupting the boss. Photos pop up on the screen as Hotch keeps speaking, your eyes land on the photos, your stomach twisting. Jason laid in the dirt, his body covered in bruises and blood, a hopeless look in his eyes. But what makes your mind ache is the body laying beside the ten year old boy. A 20 year old guy. He looks strong, someone who you know could only live that long in that place, if they were extremely strong and brave. The marks around his neck send a shiver down your body, your stomach swooshes so much you think you're going to be ill. He’s the only one that ages with that mark, and there is only one guy who would do that. He’s still there, and that's all your fault.

~~~

“So (Y/n), any theories?” Rossi the one to ask you, his eyes on the notebook that you're clutching tightly.

“Quite a few” You glance up at Hotch, silently asking for permission to take over, he gives a quick nod and with that it's your turn. “It's a team, I want to say at least two older ones that have been doing this for many, many years, and if anyone has lasted long enough they would train them to join them, using them to find more opposition. They need a good routine of fighters, more opportunity for them to grow” You speak in a matter of fact, your fingers tapping away at the table.

“What makes you think they are fighting each other?” JJ glances at you from the photos.

“Easy, look at them, there is only one way someone can get that many bruises and cuts on them. Also not to mention the autopsy results mention multiple broken bones that have healed, internal bleeding due to multiple blunt force trauma”  Your not sure why but air soon becomes harder to inhale, it feels thick and the room starts heating up. Everyones eyes are on you, but you can’t look at them so you're focusing on the files in front of you instead. “Also look at their hands, they aren’t just defensive wounds, they fit back, also they are strong, it's like they train them. Plus they are well nourished so I guess someone is looking after them, my guess is a women is one of our unsubs” 

“That’s one hell of a theory” Morgan says, his eyes burning into you. His gut is full of distrust when it comes to you with this case, something doesn't seem right.

“I know, but have a look and you will see why I’m right, also this case is nothing like we are use to, I have many theories and most of them are strange but, you can see why” You speak from gritting teeth, your hand now gripping the table in front of you. 

“We are going to Nebraska, wheels up in thirty” Aaron eyes stay on you as you zoom out of the room, dying for some fresh air. 

~~~

“Jupiter wake up” Her viciouses voice fills your ears, as a piercing pain invades your side. A sharp hiss slips through your lips as your eyes shoot open, your body shooting up into a sitting position, pushing the thin blanket to the side. Inside you feel numb, nothing inside you is alive anymore, years of training has made you the perfect soldier. 

“Morning Ma’am” Your voice is emotionless, your eyes are dead as you stand up looking up at her. Keeping your hands behind you, your head slightly bent. 

“We have a new comer, you are to welcome them this morning, I don’t care if they live or die just clean up your mess” Her voice is assertive, a cunning look on her face as she leads you down the hall and past the other trainee soldiers. Some of them are still asleep, most of them without blankets, only winners get comfort items. You stroll past the training room where your fellow soldiers are lifting weights before being allowed to eat. You glance at them a part of you wishing you could join them, but that's not your task this morning. Instead you get to fight, and you get to choose the outcome, oh you do enjoy these fights. You always win, and even better, it doesn’t take much effort. Ma’am leads you to the empty swimming pool, where most fights to the death take place. As you walk over to the edge you spot your opponent, he looks small and extremely frightened, barely a challenge. He’s already got blood over his face as he hides on the corner of the pool, the area where the bloodstains seem to be less. A small chuckle leaves you as you check him out, the thoughts of destroying him winding you up. Licking your lips softly before glancing over at Ma’am waiting for permission to go down.

“Go on, but try and make it fair” She laughs softly, enjoying the murderous gaze in your eyes. In a matter of seconds you're jumping into the pool, smirking darkly as you make your way over to him. The boy looks to be about 14 or 15, a couple years or so younger than you. He looks up at you, a confused and scared look plastered over his face, it grows when you stop a few metres back from him. 

“Y you… you're alive” His whisper is barely audible, but it makes you freeze. That voice, you know that voice, how? 

“Come here, now” You growl at him, gritting your teeth as you stare into his eyes.

“I thought you died (Y/n)” He takes a small step forward staring at you with hope. Oh how wrong that looks for a place like this. 

“That's not my name” You spit at him, a horrible shiver dripping down your spine. 

“Yes it is” He speaks more confidently as he steps closer. “Your name is (Y/n), we used to be friends” That name, why do you know that name, it's wrong, it's so wrong. 

“I don’t know you” You sneer at him, taking a step towards him, dangour radiating off you.

“Yes you do, we used to be best friends, (Y/n) please you have to remember me, its Ryan” He begs you to remember. You freeze, Ryan. You know a Ryan, but he’s younger than him, Ryan was ten last time you saw him. But this can’t be him, because that part of your life is long gone, and who the hell does this guy think he is turning up claiming to be a part of that time. You react quickly with a sharp growl escaping you as you launch yourself on him.

“I don’t know you!” You scream as you grab him by his neck, and punch him repeatedly with your other hand. You're a lot stronger than him, using all your strength to pound into him. You let go of his neck, he falls forward with a gasp, begging you to stop but it falls on deaf ears. You knee him in the stomach as he falls forward, grabbing his hair holding him in place as you let him have it. 

“I don't know you” You scream as your anger explodes. “I don’t know (Y/n)!” You shove him into the wall, his body slides down, so you kick him, as you scream repeatedly. “I don't know Ryan” You keep screaming, blood starts to pile around him, as you lose control. “I don’t know you!”

~~~

“I don’t know you!” A scream invades the quietness of the jet. Everyone's head turns towards the scream full of pain, landing on you. You're asleep at the back of the jet, shaking violently with tears streaming down your face. Aaron is up in a matter of seconds, running quickly towards you. The team stays quiet, letting Hotch take control of this situation. He drops to his knees beside you, small whimpers and cries leaves you as you stay dead asleep. 

“(Y/n), wake up” He places his hand firmly on your arm, giving you a rough shake. But nothing, you stay asleep but your cries get louder. 

(Y/n), open your eyes” Aaron shakes you again sharper and luck is on his side. Your eyes shoot open, breathing heavily as you scan your surroundings. The jet, you're on the jet, with your team. Oh shit your team, everyone is watching you, they stare at you with unreadable emotions on their faces, and you hate it. Soon you let your eyes drop down to the man beside you, fear enters you quickly, yanking away from his touch you straighten up quickly.

“Sir, I’m so sorry sir I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I am extremely sorry sir It won’t happen again” Your words fly out of you with fear, your breathing picking up, your hands shaking uncontrollably as you watch him, waiting for the punishment. 

“It's okay” Aaron gulps, hating the fear you're experiencing, the panic attack that’s consuming you. “You are okay, you are safe here” Aaron speaks calmly, taking the chance to place his hand on yours, he’s grateful you don’t pull back.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep” Your voice grows quiet, your lip quivering as the adrenaline dies down. 

“It's okay you're allowed to fall asleep” Aaron reassures you, his thumb running over the back of your hand smoothly.

“I am?” You look up at him hopeful, your eyes full of tears. You almost seem child-like as you ask that simple question.

“Yes you are, I only woke you because you were having a nightmare” Aaron smiles softly at you, hoping he doesn’t embarrass you as he informs you.

“Oh no” You yank away from his touch, panic filling you. You know you sleep talk occasionally, what the hell did you say?

“We all get them, its okay”

“No.. what did I say?” You stare at him with a look of horror. Aaron's face drops, he knows that look, he’s seen it almost everyday of this job. A look victims have when they open up to much of their past, scared their abusiver will come back for them.

“You didn’t say much” He tries his best to comfort you but he knows that determined look in your eyes. “You said ‘I don't know you’ ” 

A small sigh leaves you as you lean your head back in relief, that's all you said then you are fine, you can recover from that. “Thank you” You force a small smile, before raising your voice, turning to look at your coworkers who all seem to be pretending not to pay attention anymore.

“Sorry for disturbing you”

“You're not disturbing us” Hotch is quick to correct you, hating to think that you would think you're a bother. “If you want to talk about it–”

“No thank you, I’m fine” You interpret him quickly, a sharp glare and turning your back to him is all the dismissal he needs. 

~~~

You're in the SUV with Morgan and Rossi, heading downtown to the morgue. You sat in the back seat, reading through the Jason Ducan files, before sighing loudly and laying your head back. The two men in the front seat share some curious looks before glancing back at you.

“You alright back there” Morgan questions you, a small smile on his face.

“Not at all, this makes no sense at all” rubbing your forehead as the frustration causes another headache. “Why the hell did they take Jason Ducan three years ago he doesn’t fit the profile and they wouldn’t of dumped him like that he would of hide the body better, you would think they know not to show of the bodies we are investigating” You can’t hide the frustration and anger invading you, your hand squeezing into fist and you think back. He was a clue back then yet you were so focused on moving on you didn’t see it, this is bad. 

“Maybe your profile is wrong” Dave shrugs as he speaks, as if it's a casual thing.

“My profile is not wrong!” You snap at him, the anger burning away at your chest.

“I still don’t understand your interest in this case” Derek turns around to face you, a distrustful look in his eyes, one you can’t help but return.

“Well, no one was looking into it, someone has to care. I'm sorry if that irritates you Derek” Glaring deadly at him, as his eyes widen just slightly at your comeback before turning back to the front.

“I was just asking.'' He grumbles before glancing at Dave who is staring at you through the rearview mirror, watching as your face drops as you cross your arms. 

~~~

You are shown the bodies and as the doctor talks you can’t hear her, the words flying over your head as you grab some gloves and start touching the bodies. Three pairs of eyes on you, watching like a hawk as you move like lightning. Your hands travel around the older unnamed victim's neck. The dark unformed bruises with a slight cut you can tell were made with wire, your stomach spinning as you move away from it and down to his feet. 

“His neck wound was made by wire” You state as you kneel down by his feet, anger flooding through you as you see the scars. They are doing it again. “Holy shit” Your words are barely audible, but Morgan catches them, his eyebrow narrowing as he watches you.

“What did you find (Y/l)” Morgan makes his way over to you, spotting fear deep inside your eyes before you quickly mask the emotion once more.

“You need to ring Garcia” You look up at him, gulping thickly. “I think they are recording them” 

“What, how can you tell?” It's Rossi that asks as he walks over, joining you and Morgan at the feet of the victims. 

“Look at this” You show them the bottom of the left foot of the victim, where a big L is cut into along with the name victory which looks like it has been tried to be cut out. 

“Okay” Morgan looks at you puzzled. “How did you get that they recorded them from this?”

“The L, It means they lost, I bet they showed this to the camera to show them that they truly did lose this time” Maybe what you said doesn’t make sense to the profilers, but it's what they do. But they stopped, you know they stopped. You couldn’t find them on the dark web so they had to have stopped but you never relooked when the bodies started dropping again. 

“You can’t know that” Morgan goes to argue with you, a hand on his arm stops him. He turns his head to see Dave shaking his head at him. Morgan stares at him stumped wanting to argue but he can read that look in Dave’s eyes, there is something more going on here. 

“It makes sense, they can earn money this way and also they are sick twisted little fuckers who can find other twisted fuckers to enjoy in on their torment as well” You speak quickly as you pull your phone out, taking photos of his foot. 

“Okay I guess I’ll call Penelope then” Morgan sighs glancing at the dead set look on your face before walking out. You go to move onto Jason Ducan, touching his foot lightly before freezing. You stare at him for a few moments, your body frozen in place. He’s too young, his family loved him. How could they take him from them? It doesn't make sense.

“(Y/n), do you want me to do it?” Dave calls out to you kindly, breaking up your thoughts.

“No I got it” You reply letting out a small breath before pulling back his foot and taking a photo. A small W has been crossed out and replaced with a L, your heart crashing into your stomach as you see it. In a flash you're pulling away and making your way outside for some fresh air.

~~~

You lean against the SUV as you ring Reid, who is driving to see the other body that was discovered last night. 

“Hey (Y/l), You're on speaker phone” You can hear Reid smile through the phone.

“Hey guys, are you at the body yet?” You focus on slowly your racing heart beat as you speak to them, readying yourself to pass on the information.

“Not yet, we are still two and half hours out from the town” Emily response, glancing at the phone as she drives. 

“Okay that's fine, I just have a few things I need you to look at when you get there” Taking a breath as you think back to the cut on Jason's foot. “On his left foot I need you to see if there is anything cut into it, I am sending you a photo of the other two victims' feet okay” You quickly send them the photos.

“Okay I got it” Reid replies after a few moments.

“Oh that's gross” Emily groans.

“That's because you hate feet” Smirking just a little at her reaction.

“It's not my fault they are smelly and gross” She laughs just a little.

“Also you two should be driving through a small town called Cobar, it's a small town with a big population of homeless teenages It might pay to stop and talk to them, see if they have seen anything out of place lately” You take a sharp breath as a strange feeling starts filling you as you think about that place.

“Sure we can do that” Emily nods, her face tightening into a frown. “Hey, um are you okay?” 

“I'm good, why?” Your lips pull into a thin line as you line.

“Because this case seems to be weighing on you alot” She explains, tapping her finger on the steering wheel.

“Nope It's just another case, I gotta go” You quickly hang up before she can ask more questions. Reid and Prentiss share some strange and concerning looks as the phone beeps.

“What is he hiding?” Emily mumbles to herself as she stares out at the road.

~~~

The rest of the day goes by quickly, you three end up meeting up with JJ and Hotch back at the precinct. Rossi and Morgan go and talk with Jason Duncan's parents once they arrive trying to get more information from them. JJ works with other precincts where the other bodies and missing boys have been reported, trying to get all the information she can. You and Hotch work together trying to organise a timeline for the last 12 months, and with all the information you already have some parts are easy to fill in. Until he starts questioning you on the one part you can’t answer. 

“They shouldn’t be here, they should have gone east” Hotch sighs as you both stare at the map laid across the table. 

“I agree but they didn’t” You don’t agree with that, but according to the timeline it makes sense. 

“But do you agree?” Hotch looks up at you, doubt playing across his face. 

“What are you getting at Hotch?” Huffing little as you pick up your coffee, staring back at him.

“You said they would be coming this way, so why would you think that?” There’s his stern look eating at you. Making your stomach sink as you hide the truth from him. The truth is, you know their base is around here. This town is the first thing you remember when you escape but you can’t tell him that, no one can know. 

“I don't know” You lie, and it's a bad one.

“Don’t lie to me” 

“I'm not lying!” You don’t mean to snap at him, but fear and guilt were eating away at you and you can’t contain it anymore.

“Then tell me the truth” His words are sharp and to the point, but his face stays calm, his eyes soft and caring as he stares at you.

“Fine, I had a feeling like this town means something, because look at the pattern here Aaron” Your shoulders tenses up as you lean forward, pointing at the map. “Look, they always avoid this town, and they always avoided leaving bodies in this state until last night so since they did that I decided to take a risk and wait for them to leave us something around here and do you want to know what I’m thinking right now” A smirk slips onto your lips as you speak, a feeling of excitement spreads throughout you as you share your idea.

“You think their base is around here” Aaron finishes your thought, not liking that smirk on your face. 

“Exactly and if they left us this breadcrumb it only means two things, one they are somehow becoming sloppy or two—”

“They know you are investigating them” He finishes your sentence again, dread filling him due to just how close you are to this investigation.

“Not me, but someone yes and we can use that” 

“How?” 

Luckily Aaron's phone rings just before you have to answer that.

“It's Garcia” He glances at you before answering it, placing it on speaker. “Hey Garcia, what do you got?”

“Well boss man, I got good news and some gross news” Penelope's sweet voice floats through the phone. 

“What's the good news Garica?” You straighten up as you hope.

“Well our unnamed victim is Liam Clark, he’s 19 years old and went missing five years ago in florida” Garcia informs you both just as the door to the conference room opens and the rest of the team walks in. 

“Alright, can you send through his family information please” You sigh, leaning backwards in your chair, the stress of the case becoming too much. 

“Will do my love, now are we ready for some more information?” Her voice starts filling with dread as she types aways.

“Hit us with the good stuff baby girl” Morgan speaks up, coming to sit on the edge of the table by the phone.

“Oh I wish it was good news chocolate thunder, but (Y/n) was right.” She sighs as Aaron phones dings. “I found their profile on the dark web and all their live streams have been saved, there are hundreds of them, maybe even closer to a thousand, and they got back many, many years” She takes a deep breath before continuing. “I haven’t looked at them all yet but there are some that are over 25 years old” 

Your heart sinks, your palms becoming sweaty as realisation sits in. Your videos are still up, your team could find out in a matter of seconds what you are. 

“25 years…” Your voice is as quiet as a mouse, your throat tightening up as your team glances over at you. “How did no one see this?” Your voice gets louder, filling with anger as you jump to your feet. 

“They hide their tracks well” Reid speaks up, his eyes focused on you.

“Bullshit, no one can hide their tracks that well!”

“Okay you need to take a breath” Hotch gets up, walking closer to you. Watching the anger firing up inside your eyes.

“No, we need to find these monsters and make them pay, they have hurt and ruined so many innocent people's lives” You spit the words out, your hands squeezing into fist. 

“Is that all?” Morgan questions you, getting up, standing uncomfortably close to you.

“What's that meant to mean!?” Your body is already in defensive mode, locking itself down as Morgan has a determined look inside his own. 

“Well you seem to be hiding something from us and I would like to know what that is?” His questioning is dangerous, he steps closer to you. The rest of the room falls quiet, your eyes burning into his.

“How about, none of your damn business Morgan”

“It is my business when you drag us into it” He huffs back at you. “Just tell us what you're hiding” He steps closer, his breath lingering on your skin.

“Back the fuck up Derek” Your voice is lower, and full of danger. You can feel yourself about to snap and if you do, you don’t think you will be able to stop.

“We barely know you, so why don’t you just tell us what the hell is going on” Derek demands to know “What is wrong with you (Y/n)?” His hand raises up, and before you can process what is happening. Bam. Your fist collides with his mouth and you see red as he stumbles backwards. You follow him, a low growl leaves you as you punch him again, this time aiming for his eyes. He manages to block, trying to hold you back, but you don’t stop trying to get a blow on him. You can hear voices all around you but you can’t hear past the blood rushing in your ears. Soon there are arms wrapping around you from behind, pulling you away from Morgan. You struggle against them trying to break free as you stare daggering at Morgan who is being confronted by three people of your team, you don’t recognize them. Soon there is another person in your way, your body tenses as you see them. They quickly place their hands on your cheeks which make you freeze, the anger vanishing from inside you. Your vision starts easing up and faces start becoming recognizable. The person who is holding your face gently, has beautiful eyes, and a soft smile.

“Your safe (Y/n)” JJ speaks softly, “Just take some breaths” You stare at her, and soon start copying her breathing. Rossi lets you go, moving towards the rest of the team as you calm down.

“Let me go JJ” Your words are as cold as ice, the numb empty look in your eyes being replaced by guilt and anger. 

“Okay” She takes a breath before removing her hands and as soon as she does you bolt out the door.

~~~

You keep running once you get outside, you don’t stop, you can’t, you just can’t. Your mind is spinning and the only way you know how to get it to become quiet again, is to run. So that's what you do, you run. The sun is already set so you enjoy the darkness as you run. You can’t believe you lost it and punch Morgan, but what the hell is he getting at? Now what the hell are you meant to say, what lie are you meant to produce that will cover your ass. You're not sure how long you have been running for, but you're running out of breath when you see a corner store and think oh why not. Checking you have your wallet you head inside grabbing a bottle of water and a pack of cigarettes. Walking back out you open it, throwing the rubbish in the bin before lighting it and taking a long drag. Closing your eyes as you inhale it, it's been a long time since you last smoked and god does it just hit right tonight. Slowly you begin walking back to the precinct, enjoying the nicotine hit. You know you're about halfway to the precinct when you decide to check your phone after feeling it ring a few times. 

Missed phone calls: Aaron Hotchner (6)

Penelope Garcia (3)

You're not sure how many smokes you have consumed already but the pack is way lighter than it used to be. You really should ring them back instead of lighting another one, but oh well you think as you bring one more to your lips. Pulling out the lighter just as a car pulls up beside you, groaning softly as you recognize it. You keep walking, not caring to look at him as he rolls the window down. 

“Get in the car” Hotch yells at you, following you.

“Nope” You go to light the smoke instead when he stops the car and gets out. 

“We are an hour walk from the precinct, get the hell in” Aaron doesn’t bother to hide his anger, holding himself back from grabbing that cigarette from your hand.

“Or what?”

“Or you're fired, and I’ll leave you here” He huffs angrily, seeing you weighing up your options.

“Fine” You take a long drag on your smoke before stomping it out and climbing in.

~~~

The ride back is quiet, as you stare out the window.

“How angry is everyone?” Your voice is quiet and empty. Almost empty because Aaron can detect a small trail of sadness and fear in your words. 

“Morgan winded you up on purpose, he pushed you too far. That wasn’t okay what either of you two did” Hotch ignored your question, because he knew you wouldn’t accept that fact no one is angry. No, everyone is just worried and concerned about you, something you don’t know how to spot or accept when it comes to yourself. He wishes you could just trust the team, trust him enough to let them help. 

“I have a past” You pull yourself closer as you stare out the window, thinking about your next words carefully. 

“You don’t have to tell me” Aaron quickly tells you softly, needing you to know there is no rush.

“And if I do want to tell you?” You glance at him quickly, and for a moment you forget he is your boss and see him in the light of your friend. 

“Then I'm here to listen” He smiles lightly at you. You nod quickly looking back out the window, and then slowly you move your hand towards him, which he happily takes sliding his fingers between yours.

“I was abused growing up, no one cared and nobody knew, I never told anyone” You stare out the window, emotions settling down as you speak. “This case brings back memories I never wanted to relieve back up, I have to find these people so that we can save these kids” Your voice is sweet as you speak, this is a side no one but Aaron ever gets to see.

“And we will get them and we will get them help” Aaron smiles weakly as he pulls up. “But once this case is over we need to get you some help too, okay?” His thumb slides over your hand as you glance at him. If only he knew that nothing on earth can help you, and at the end of this case you don’t think you will still be on this team.

“Okay” You nod forcing a small smile before pulling away and making your way inside.

~~~

You walk in quietly, followed by Aaron. The team is staring up at the tv, watching some of the latest fights. You freeze as you catch a glance of his face on the screen. You knew he was still there but the look in his eyes is killing you. He's gone, replaced by a murderous robot, his skills are fast and sharp. 

“Ryan” His name slips off your tongue before you can stop it, your body tenses up as you stare at the screen and the way he gets his opponent down in one quick move. Emily pauses it as everyone's head turns to you once more. This time everyone looks at you with concern as they see the tears forming in your eyes, which you quickly push away once you let everyone get a good look.

“You know him?” Reid asks you, tilting his head as he asks you. 

“Um y yeah..” You take a deep breath. “I went to school with him” It's a lie, but you know it's golden. “He went missing when he was around 15 years old, we were best friends then one day he didn't turn up to school and well” You take  a deep breath as Aaron leads you to a chair, your arms shaking just a little. “He was officially determined missing a week later, his parents were absent, they didn’t care for him” That wasn’t a lie, he told you about his parents and how much they hurt him and how they were barely at home. 

“Oh (Y/n)” JJ places her hand softly on the table beside your hand, not touching but showing you she is here for you. You give her a soft smile in response. 

“If he’s been there this whole time it's been twelve years” Twelve years, he is never going to be the same.

“Jesus christ” Morgan groans with regret as he looks at you. “That's what you were hiding?”

“I had a feeling he was there.. I was just hoping I was wrong” Your voice is weak and tiredness is starting to take over. It's been almost 48 hours since you last slept.

“Now we got a lead, tomorrow we get Garcia to look into him but let's call it a night it's late we all need sleep” Hotch states, everyone nodding in agreement including you as you stare at Ryan's face on the screen. That's all your fault.

[campbell-rose]

Hazbin Trailer + Rewrite Spitballing

The Hazbin Trailer omg

I finally watched it and like... it's so bad guys. Honestly, the only people I pity are the animators and the pilot voice actors, and the new actors too. Blake Roman especially, the man is super talented, but trying to fill the massive shoes of Michael is weighing his performance down so bad. Honestly, if Viv wasn't a petty brat, she could've kept Michael and gotten Blake as the singing voice.

Apparently there's a war on Heaven plot? I hope to god not, like that's NOT THE PREMISE. God Viv just cannot stick to her premises, can she? This happened with Zoophobia, initially it seemed like it was going to follow Cameron but slowly lost focus on her. Then Helluva Boss losing the hired assassin plot for the sake of shitty Stolitz drama. Seems redeeming sinners is going to be a side plot which is unfortunate because that was one of the biggest things i wanted from this show. I remember when i used to love Vivziepop and i got so excited for the pilot of Hazbin. Redeeming sinneers, that sounded so cool. It's what got me into demonology and was a big part of my life. Sad to see this happen.

I genuinely hate the stupid trope of heaven, the place that is literally paradise for good people, being bad. Like, i cannot feasibly imagine a universe in which Viv manages to write that in any compelling way. And why is it just ‘heaven bad’??? This could be an interesting story that discusses the nature of good and bad, talks about what makes someone a good person, should people be given redemption if they already blew their chance, is the definition of 'good' wrong? Like, in the hands of competent writers, Hazbin could be an interesting story, like a Walmart Good Place! But no, heaven bad, let's go kill angels that say fuck.

Like, as an example of my above point, let’s look at a familiar face from Helluva Boss, Mrs. Mayberry. 

She killed someone, tried to kill someone, then herself, and is now in hell. But a good question could be raised of if her being in hell is even justified. Yes, she killed a person (and attempted to kill another) which is not a good thing to do. But she killed her husband in a fit of rage after seeing him cheating on her – like actively, red handed, balls deep cheating on her. From what we see of her before her death, she seems like an attentive and caring teacher and wife, she even says herself she was ‘good my entire life’. Her students love her, and literally the reason she kills herself seems to be because she realizes that they saw her literally murder someone. She did choke and throw a child, but that was played for comedy so I'm not counting that against her. She kills herself because she’s so shocked about what she’s done. She’s bitter because she’s in hell.  

Her husband was a cheater and the woman she tried to kill was a murderer and a cannibal, so by that logic, doesn’t her killing a bad person negate the killing? Yes, murder is bad, she should’ve controlled herself, but this was one terrible moment in a lifetime of being good. Like, say someone kills a pedobear, is the person commiting the murder a bad person for killing someone who deserved it? Not that her husband deserved to die for cheating, a good beat down maybe. If a good person kills a bad person, does that make them a bad person too? Or does it come down to intention? Did the good only kill the bad for a selfish reason?

That’s an interesting conundrum (in my opinion). Does she deserve to redeem herself? How would she redeem herself? If I keep thinking on it, i'll ramble, but that's my thinking. Anyway, this made me think about a rewrite that follows this line of thinking.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Charlie being an angel and Vaggie being her Exterminator guard who goes with her to hell to redeem sinners is the best way to make this mess an interesting thing. Like, Charlie is an optimistic angel who thinks the extermination of sinners is inhumane and that the standards of Heaven need changed. Vaggie is literally trained to kill sinners and sees Charlie’s efforts as futile but is assigned to help her anyway. Makes sense why everyone would disrespect Charlie and treat her like an idiot for wanting to redeem sinners, instead of insulting the daughter of FUCKING LUCIFER HIMSELF, they’re laughing at an angel who came down out of nowhere and is acting high and mighty.

Also, Charlie can keep the name Charlie Magne instead of Morningstar because she's no longer Lucifer's daughter. Vaggie is just V. boom, problem solved, i'm a genius.

Have a doodle

[http-tokki]

Youre..its...Dynamight!

~ bakugou katsuki x reader ~ tags/cw: aged up bakugou, anxiety, established realtionships, home business girl boss, cute lil baby dynamight fan meeting his hero. ~ wc: 870

Katsuki was the one who mentioned working from home. He was the one who suggested turning the spare room into your studio and working out of the comfort of your own home.

"It's not like were using it for anything, and I don't plan on filling it with little ones anytime soon." He poked your belly as to emphasise the point.

“Plus, it’ll be good for your anxiety” and despite his flat tone and lack of concern for the space you would be taking up, your heart squeezed at how caring he was. he knew it was tough on you going into work some days, when the anxiety would grip you by the throat and slam you back into bed. The dark shadow of pandemic induced agoraphobia taking over your desire to be in the world of the living, and you felt so guilty taking days off, having a lower income than your boyfriend even though he reminded you every single time you paid of something that he was kind of loaded and didn’t need to struggle through (you could never let him do that, at least not while you weren’t married and ready to be a home maker) so you turned that spare room into your own workspace and after weeks of renovating and redecorating, you were finally open the public, well select few of the public.

You had been open for a while now, your clientele steadily increasing and so did your bank account, but it was the initial surprise of having your clients face drop upon seeing pro hero Dynamight lounging on the couch in his sweats, playing video games. You enjoyed the surprise and shock completely taking over them as they stammered trying to piece the puzzle together.

“You’re- is that - huh?” were the usual string of words that bringing new clients over for a consult is always interesting.

You don’t think Katsuki fully understand the impact he has on people, especially when he’s just lounging around watching tv or emailing companies, all very mundane not pro hero things. (he knows but he doesn’t care. it’s his house why should he change his behaviour for people he’ll see for two seconds) but it was your latest consultation that had you loving your newest work space.

It was a simple consultation, only half an hour to discuss price and appointment times but your client had to bring along her little one due to school being off for holidays. She had given you enough warning, asking if it was okay if her six year old tagged along because her babysitter had flaked and this was the only time she had free. It wasn't an issue for you, offering the little one a hot chocolate and cookies as you and their mother talked.

You hear Katsuki come home halfway through the appointment. He would usually walk into your voice and greet you with a kiss before heading to the shower or his office but you had put up the little sign to signify that you had a client and would be busy for a bit.

The jingle of keys and heavy footfalls of his boot clad feet alert the little one to another visitor. Your eyes flick over to them, hot chocolate clutched tightly in their tiny hands as their head turns to the door and only then do you notice the Dynamight t-shirt. Eyes scanning over the rest of their outfit you clock the socks and shoes and their little backpack in the corner all adorned with your fiancé's face.

"Do they like Dynamight?" you ask the mother quietly, trying not to alert them to the mention of their favourite hero.

"Like?" the mother scoffs. "That's all they talk about. It's Dynamight this, Dynamight that. I've just about had enough of that name." her laugh is soft as she looks over at her child, fondness and slight annoyance lingering in her eyes.

You nod in understanding, biting down on your lip to supress a smile. "You might just hate me for this but-" you turn your head towards the door.

"Baby, can you come in please." you call to Katsuki.

"Angel, I'm too tired so if you want it you're gonna have to- ohh," Katsuki is whining as he walks down the hall but stop his sentence as he spots the kid sitting at the end of your desk.

You watch as little one freezes. Their eyes growing wide and jaw dropping as they see their hero steps into the doorway. You catch Bakugou's gaze, smiling at him before nodding towards the shocked child sitting a few feet from you.

"It's… it's…." their voice is small as they follow Katsuki around the room. "You're Dynamight." they whisper.

"Hi, bud." 'Suki waves and drops into a squat to talk to the little one.

"You're… mum, it's him." they whisper, tiny hands curling in their shirt.

The mother turns to you, eyes wide as she reaches for her phone. "How did you- is he your- how?"

"fiancé ." You laugh softly. "I'm sorry, i should have given you a warning."

She shakes her head, attention now on her fawning child. "You just made me mother of the year."

a/n: cute bakugou content that i never finished from July last year

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 9 - Surprise!

Summary: Why is there a random, grumpy teen in the house?!

Warnings: Swear words

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Wow.

This is a magical day. A once in a lifetime occurrence.

It’s 9AM and Midoriya Izuku is still asleep.

And to make it even better? He doesn’t look like he wants to wake up yet.

Midoriya Izuku will finally have a good sleep today. Oh my gosh, what a day to be alive!

“Good morning, love.” You leave a tiny kiss on the hero’s forehead and his face scrunches; he hides his face into your neck, clearly unimpressed by the sudden daylight, fussing like a child as he pulls you closer and doesn’t let you go even though you really want to wake up and make breakfast because you are starving. “You won’t let me go?” You ask him with a baby voice and Izuku only shakes his head at that, making cute, whiny voices as he snuggles into you. He’s so fucking adorable. “Don’t wanna have pancakes for breakfast then?”

You can see the moment when Izuku starts to seriously contemplate - he stops in his shenanigans and scrunches his face again, deep in thought.

“Cuddles. Pancakes.” Is all he says, half of his body resting on the top of yours at this point.

“You won’t get any of those if you kill me. Izuku, I don’t mean to fat shame you, I know it’s all muscles, but damn, you are heavy.” You giggle as you slowly crawl out from under him. Izuku clearly did not like that; his face is scrunched again and his hold tightens around you but slowly, he lets you go with a massive, dramatic sigh.

“No kiss?” He mumbles again and you can’t help but make a silly, high pitched sound at that. This should be illegal. He’s just way too cute. Goddamn, how did you get so lucky?!

Okay, he can have one kiss. One.

You leave a tiny kiss on Izuku’s lips; Izuku hums at first, still sleepy and sluggish , then suddenly, he deepens the kiss, his hands all over your body, all the sleepiness gone like it wasn’t even there in the first place. Funnily enough, the sudden surge of energy only lasts a few minutes; after a few deep kisses, Izuku flops back on the bed, eyes already half closed.

“Now you go.” He mumbles, looking like a little burrito with all the covers around him.

“Excuse me?” You giggle with an incredulous look on your face; honestly, this guys has lost his fucking mind.

“Pancakes.”

This fucking prick.

“You are such an asshole today, what the hell?” You reprimand but you can’t stop yourself from laughing; this whole shenanigan is so out of character yet somehow it fits the greenhead so much; the neediness, the willfulness, these are all parts of Izuku’s characteristics - he just decided to suppress them in order to be more tolerable because that’s what has been carved into him. Here’s the thing though; everyone is allowed to a bit selfish sometimes. It’s okay to have days when you need more love, more care, it’s okay to have some days when you need someone to take care of you. You just need to find the right person and the right time for these things. Izuku is getting so much better at showing you what he actually wants and it makes you so fucking proud it’s actually unbelievable.

“You love me.” Izuku mutters with a happy smile on his face as he leaves tiny kisses all over your shoulders with his eyes still closed.

“I do. I’ll make you the second best pancakes. I can’t do better than your mom’s, I’m sorry to be a disappointment.”

Izuku’s next answer is almost incoherent, sentences broken and muttered under his nose.

“I love your pancakes. Mum’s are the best though. And her Katsudon. Your soup? First. Curry? Kacchan’s. Steak? Eijirou’s. Medium rare. Shouto’s soba. Yeah.”

“How hungry are you, Izu-Izu?” You giggle to yourself as your fingers play with his tangled, untamed curls.

“Over 9000.” Izuku admits sheepishly then goes back to sleep like nothing had happened.

Well… the boss wants pancakes so he gets pancakes. It’s extremely hard to wake up when he’s back to being a clingy little koala, all warm and smelling like home but today, Izuku is all yours so you’ll have all the time in the world to cuddle him senseless later.

~•🥦•~

… or not.

“You are not Deku.”

There is a teenager in the living room. Who the fuck is this kid and how did he get in here? You have no idea. He kinda looks pissed. Why? You also have no idea.

Is this the right time to get that mop out? Should you chase this kid out of the apartment with it? This is a high security area though, there is no way he could’ve sneaked past that security system without a clearance. Your home alarm didn’t sound either which means the kid has a code for the door. Did Izuku talk about kids before? Not really. The only kid in Izuku’s life by your knowledge is Eri-Chan who lives with his old teacher… and that kid back from his high school days. The one who has a terrible attitude but loves Izuku so much he even asked for the same shoes Izuku wears, out of respect or fanatism, you have no idea.

… there is a red shoe in the entry room and that’s certainly not Izuku’s size.

Oh.

“I’m not. But I live here.” You answer, less freaked out about the situation now that you know who this kid is. “I’m Izuku’s roommate…?”

“You came out of Deku’s room.” The teenager makes a snarky comment and your whole face becomes a tomato. “You have a limited All Might Shirt on which is too big for you.”

This kid is a pain in the ass but he kinda reminds you of Katsuki so you can’t help but smile.

“Okay, Sherlock. I’m Izuku’s girlfriend, Y/N. And you are?”

“Kouta Izumi. Deku didn’t tell me he has a girlfriend. I’m here to play.”

Yup. That’s the kid Izuku told you about.

“Play?”

“The new PlayStation 6. Deku got a prototype, the console isn’t even out yet. He also got the new GTA 6 that will only come out next year. “

Oh, that silly game everyone is obsessed about. It’s a game about a quirkless world and gangsters and stuff. Izuku did tell you that he got some cool stuff from one of his sponsors but none of you had the time to actually try it out yet.

“Okay. Uhm… just make sure to stay quiet, he haven’t slept for a week.” You sigh, a little bit disappointed by the fact that you won’t have the whole day to yourselves but also quite excited about meeting a new person from Izuku’s life.

“Is he okay?” Kouta mumbles with a red face, clearly embarrassed by the fact that he cares.

“Yeah, he’s okay.” You smile fondly. “We went to see his mother yesterday.”

“How is she?” Kouta looks up. “He never talks about his parents because I don’t have any. They both died in a villain attack. He thinks it’s going to make me sad if he talks to me about her but I’m almost an adult now.”

Wow, he just… threw that bomb in there and now you have no idea how to react. Should you say “I’m sorry”? No, he would hate being pitied. This is tough.

“You go to UA?” You point at the little pin on the boy’s backpack sitting by his side, trying to change the topic. “I love the little candy apple keychain too.”

“Uhm… I got the keychain from… a friend.” Kouta’s whole face is as red as a tomato. You can barely conceal your smile. “And yes. Fucking Deku’s fault.”

“Why’s that?”

“I hated heroes when I was a kid.” Kouta admits. “My parents were heroes and they died for a bunch of strangers and left me alone. I loathed everyone who went to a hero school. But then Deku saved me from the same villain who killed my parents. He was only a first year student back then and he almost died for me.” Is talking about deep stuff like they are talking about the weather a hero thing? Asking for a friend here. “I’m only in the support course, though. It’s safe but really helpful to all those idiots killing themselves on the battlefield.”

“That’s… a weird way of putting it but I kinda get it.” You giggle. You like this guy. He’s funny.

“Don’t get me wrong, I still know how to kick an ass. I actually have a temporary license. I took special classes with Aizawa sensei. If they need help, I’ll help. Are you one of those idiots, too?”

“No, I’m… quirkless.” You admit. Kouta looks at you like you just grew two heads. “What?” You giggle. “You look like I just told you I’m an alien.”

“You kinda are?” Kouta smirks. “What do you do then?”

“I draw and people pay me for it.”

“Sick. You did this?” Kouta points at the half-done drawing sitting on the coffee table. It’s a drawing of pro hero Deku and young All Might fighting a villain together. It was commissioned a few days ago, but Izuku liked it so much you have to make a second one because he wants to keep the original.

“Yeah. One day, I want to do my own manga. I’ll eventually start working on it but right now, I’m just happy to help out Izuku around the house and spend all the time I can with him.” You smile to yourself. “I’ll make breakfast, Izuku’s really hungry. Feel free to play that game, tell us how it is!” You make your way towards the kitchen and for your surprise, Kouta follows you and sits down on the counter.

“What are you making?”

“Pancakes.”

Kouta helps you. Without a single word. He doesn’t really know what to do but he mixes everything together, puts plates and cutlery on the table, pours more milk into mixture when you need it, overall, he is extremely helpful. Once the flat starts to smell like pancakes a half asleep Izuku shambles into the kitchen; his chin lands on your shoulder as his hands snake around your waist, absolutely unaware of the second person in the room.

“Good morning, Sweets.” He mumbles into your skin; he leaves tiny, affectionate pecks and it takes you a few seconds to realize that you should probably say something before this escalates.

“Ewww, get a room!” Well, Kouta does it for you, then. His palms are in front of his eyes to save himself from the “terrible” sight. He’s such a kid, honestly.

Izuku jumps off you with a loud, high pitched yelp, his whole face ruddy as he stares at Kouta.

“Kouta-kun, uhm, hello?!” He mumbles first, then as his brain finally catches up with the situation, his eyes light up. “Oh my god, I haven’t seen you for so long, you grew again! You’ll be taller than me one day.”

Okay. Let’s stop here for a second.

A sleepy affectionate Izuku is already way too much for your fragile heart, but fatherly Izuku?

K.O.

Literal KNOCK OUT.

“Oh my god, stop babying me, you old man.” Kotaro grumbles but Izuku doesn’t stop; he pulls the little gremlin to his chest, suffocates him with all the love and while Kouta insist he hates every single second of it, if you look closely there is a tiny smile on his face the whole time.

“Where is your girlfriend?” Izuku teases and fuck, even that sounds like something a father would say to his teenage son.

“I already told you, she’s older than me! We barely see each other anyway! She’s in the hero course!”

“She made you handmade chocolate for Valentine’s. Heart shaped ones.”

“Out of pity! She always acts like I’m 10 years old! It’s fucking annoying! Last time I cut my finger she gave me a kiss on my forehead like I’m a kid. I really hate her sometimes.”

Okay, that’s so fucking cute.

“Is this the same girl who gave you the candy apple keychain?” You decide to join the conversation.

“You got a keychain with candy apples? You know that’s her favorite food, right? That must mean something!” Izuku adds. The poor boy is clearly about to burst from the embarrassment.

“Yeah, bro. She basically claimed you with that keychain. But if you don’t believe me, why don’t you try and ask her to kiss you on your mouth the next time you cut your finger? I’m just saying. You can just make it sound like it’s a joke in case it goes wrong.” You shrug nonchalantly.

“I would listen to her, she’s a professional meddler. I’m quite sure All Might is officially my stepfather now, thanks to Sweet Pea.”

“I think you should go for it.” You add, taking Izuku’s side.

“I think you should keep your eyes on your pancake because it’s burning.” Kouta adds with a shit eating grin; and indeed, there is smoke coming from the forgotten pan behind you.

“Oh, fuck.” You laugh as you try to salvage the poor, half burned pancake.

“You two will be the most annoying parents the world has ever seen.” Kouta rolls his eyes and you both become a stuttering mess after that.

“Wh… no! We… we’ll be really cool! Super chill!” Izuku mutters and you can’t help but laugh.

“Izu, you literally almost killed yourself just because I was sick. Kouta has a point, we’ll be super nosy and annoying. Not like… I thought about that before or anything. Definitely not.”

“W… Well… by the time we… uhm… we decide to have a kid… I’ll change. I’ll be all cool. I’ll be the best father ever!”

This is so awkward but also, so thrilling. Goddamn, even the thought of having a little kid with him makes your ovaries scream.

“Well, I won’t. A mother has all the rights to be nosy when it comes to her child.” You mutter back and the look Izuku gives you makes it really hard to concentrate on the stupid pancakes; his eyes are dazzling and so full of hope, he smiles at you like he’s a kid who just got what he wanted from Santa. You can hear tiny sniffles in the background so you look towards the boy sitting on the counter; His eyes are red but full of fondness as he stares at you two with pure wonder, a tiny smile decorating his face.

“You two remind me of my mom and dad.” He admits. “They always bickered over the silliest things and they looked at each other the same way you did. So fucking stop that and let’s eat, I’m starving.”

Izuku is about to cry so you decide to speak up before he misunderstands the whole situation and starts to blame himself for making Kouta sad.

“Who said you are getting any?” You look at him with a shit eating grin and the offended face he makes at that is downright hilarious.

“Huh?! I mixed the shit out of that batter, didn’t I?! I put plates on the table! Hell, I even touched a raw egg! I hate raw eggs!” Kouta yells but he can’t hide the grin on his face as he says all of that. “Would you let a kid starve, Y/N? That’s not nice! Deku, you heard that shit?! The audacity!” He yells, shamelessly laughing by now.

“Say another bad word and I’ll wash your mouth with soap!” You retort with fake-anger.

“I’ll lick every fork then! Hah! Top that, old hag!”

“Now that’s just evil.” Izuku looks between you two, completely flustered.

“Yeah, he kinda won this round. He can have one pancake.”

“ONE?!”

Izuku only sighs dramatically at that.

“Maybe I’m okay to not have kids for a few more years.”

“Oi! I’m a fucking delight!”

“This is it. I’m getting the soap.” You make your way towards the bathroom while Izuku moves the big stack of pancakes to the table with his eyes completely dead.

“NOOOOOOOO!” Kouta yells and starts running towards Izuku who almost stumbles thanks to him. “Save me, Deku! Your woman is vile!”

“Sweets, stop bullying my boy!” Izuku snorts, finally a bit more alive. “Also, if I can’t eat in the next five minutes I swear to god I’ll die so can we eat now? Please?”

“Anything for you, my darling.” You leave a tiny kiss on Izuku’s forehead, while you wink at the teen. He only rolls his eyes at that.

“Hey, I think you missed.” Izuku points at his pouty lips.

“Oh, silly me.” You leave a tiny kiss on his lips and make your way back to the kitchen to get some condiments, trying your best to hide the shit eating grin as you see Kouta getting flustered as hell.

“I know what you are doing and I don’t like it!” Kouta mumbles as he puts a bunch of pancakes in his plate.

Okay, maybe Kouta is right and you’ll be the most annoying parents the world have ever seen but hell if you are not excited for it.

Not like that’s something you two want in the near future… uhm. Yeah. Definitely not.

End of the chapter. Uhm. Go away.

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato Ramble:

- I know, me and my weird ass ships, I am right?! 😂

- So in this story, Izuku is around 25-26 so it’s like… 9-10 years after the attack on Kouta so he’s around 15-16. Eri is 1-2 years older, I made that one year here for convenience. If Kouta listened to Y/N, I’ll leave that to your imagination except if you guys want an extra with them in the future. 😂 I do wanna make a KiriBaku extra first though because I’m quite sure you guys want to know what the heck is going on in that household.

- I don’t know what else to add I’m dead tired. I hope you liked this chapter though, I wrote it in one sitting lol 😂 honestly, I enjoyed this chapter so much it’s ridiculous.

If you liked this chapter, please don’t forget to leave a lovely comment, like or reblog it! It means a lot! 🥦

TL: @garfieldthomas @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @aei-sedai-moiraine @aymasakusa @katsuari @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @thekookiecorner @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka @shotos-angelic-whore @angelsdemonsmonsters @norvacaine @rei165 @unofficialmuilover @yao-ai @happydragonfrog

[wyvernquill]

I'm rewatching Anastasia and this convo would really fit in your AU

Hob: look, Murphy, I'm just trying to help Murphy: do you really think I'm an Endless, Hob?

Hob: you know I do.

Murphy: then stop bossing me around

I'm sorry, this ask is already over a year old, but I finally got around to writing a scene based on it! (Plus some Murphy&Gil bits I wanted to put in somewhere, anyway.) Hope you enjoy!

[Mild warning for contemplation of one's potential death, and having once lost the will to life - I wouldn't call it suicidal ideation, it doesn't quite go there, but I figured I'd better be safe than sorry.]

Link to Anastasia AU Masterpost!

(Tag list, let me know if you want to be added or taken off: @10moonymhrivertam @martybaker @globglobglobglobob @anonymoustitans @sunshines-fabulous-legs @dreamsofapiratelife @malice-royaume @kcsandmanfan @acedragontype @okilokiwithpurpose @tharkuun @silver-dream89 @i-write-stories-not-sins-bitch)

“Hob.” Murphy interrupts, eyes flashing with frustration.

(Today’s how-to-be-a-Dream-Lord lessons are not going well - not that any of them have, but this one is a particular catastrophe. Gil has already given up on their contrary charge for the evening, and with the way Murphy’s shoulders are up and tension bristles between them, Hob is unlikely to make much more headway tonight.)

“Tell me. Do you truly believe I am him? The Prince of Stories? The Dream King?”

“Yes,” Hob lies, easily, unflinchingly, and with a smile on his face. A good lie has to be treated like the truth, and maybe, one day, it’ll actually turn into one. They’ve been trying so very hard to teach Murphy this, he should know it by now. “Of course.”

“Then, perhaps,” Murphy spits, and despite his feral arrogance, despite the way he holds his head high and squares his slender shoulders, it’s not the regal indignation of a King, but the helpless tantrum of an angry child who’s failing in class. “You ought to finally treat me with the fucking deference an Endless is owed, Hob Gadling!”

(There are tears in his pale-blueish eyes, Hob can see them, can hear the crack in Murphy’s hoarse voice.

Nobody has treated this man with respect in all the years he remembers, that much is obvious. Nobody but his birds. And he knows, they all know, that he’s no prince, that his blood runs red, not blue - runs at all, come to think of it. Endless don’t bleed.

But he wants to be. He wishes he was. Murphy is not Dream of the Endless, but he is ravenous for the spoils of such a role. Desperate to be respected, to be worshipped and revered, desperate to be owed the sort of treatment he has never received.

Hob ought to be ashamed of himself for taking advantage of that helpless hunger for kindness and decency… and he will be. For the rest of his immortal life, he’ll live with the shame of what he did to cheat Death, and still not regret it.)

Hob plasters a smile over his impatience and opens his mouth, gentle, calming words already on the tip of his tongue. Murphy is lonely and frightened and frustrated, that much is obvious. Fine. Hob knew it wouldn’t be easy, to teach their false Dream all he needs to know, and this is not an insurmountable roadblock. If Hob can only reassure him, earn his trust, be his friend, even, it will make everything much easier. Poor thing, lashing out like an injured animal. But Hob can surely coax him into-

Murphy recoils. Flinches back from the admittedly-half-faked warmth, his face, his entire bearing collapsing into itself like a heavy portcullis rattling shut.

“Don’t you dare,” he growls, pointing one of his stick-thin fingers at Hob’s face, “don’t you DARE! I have no need for your false pity, and I want no part of it! I want-” the white of his eyes is bloodshot, and in his terror, in his fury, in his desperation, awash in unshed tears “-I want out. This deal is off. Find some other poor sucker to teach how to play Endless, I won’t do it! I’ve had enough!”

And before Hob can say as much as a single word, Murphy has snatched up his coat and slipped out onto the rainy street, Matthew following - but not after awarding Hob with a colder glare than he would’ve thought a mere raven capable of.

Murphy does not manage to flee very far.

He is in an unfamiliar town, with no money, no valuables besides the clothes on his back that are now slightly finer than he used to be; and the winter is cold and deep and stifling. He gets no further than a handful of streets until he slows halfway across a bridge, shaking with cold more than anger, snowflakes dancing around him. It is a quiet, windless night - and it has always calmed him, to stand underneath the dark sky at night, and know that most of the city lies asleep around him.

Matthew settles on the bridge’s parapet, caws. Hops closer, cocks his head to one side. There is a clear question in his bearing, a what now? glinting in his eyes. Birds are open and honest - unlike humans. Liars and hypocrites all.

“...I do not know, Matthew.” Murphy admits quietly. He has taken the coat, but forgotten the scarf in his haste, so he tugs at his collar, to keep the cold air from trickling down his spine. “I truly don’t.”

He does not have the means to return to London on his own - and at the same time, does not have much desire to do so. He had nothing and no-one there, but for the birds. Pockets can be picked anywhere - he could make a new start in this nameless town.

…if only it weren’t winter.

Murphy shivers, feeling his bones rattle with it. The night is calm, but bitterly cold, and it will not end well for him, sitting in the snow until morning. In the dark of winter, he cannot afford a night without shelter, a day without a sure way to come by some food to keep his strengths up. In London, he would have known where to go. Here, he is helpless.

Damn Hob Gadling, and may Destruction take him! Murphy will have no other choice but to crawl back to him, and hope he’ll be kept on as Endless-impersonator. Hope, because Murphy’s made a right pig’s ear of it so far, slow and clumsy to learn, and outright refusing to play at nobility. He will always be a gutter rat, Murphy knows it. They can’t fashion him into a Dream King, and perhaps this flare of temper will prove to Hob once and for all that there is no point in trying.

There is no point in trying.

Murphy gives up on his collar, and rests his hands on the parapet. Matthew caws, and presses his head against his arm, a far better reassurance than Hob’s false smiles. It comforts Murphy, at least a little. He’s not alone, never alone - no matter how lonely he might feel.

Underneath them, a foreign river flows just fast enough to avoid the freeze. The water does not reflect any stars, but the snow dancing over the surface makes it almost look as if. His own reflection wavers and breaks across the waves.

(Some nights, he dreams of a darkened shore and a sea stretching far past the horizon, black waters that fold up into the night sky, indistinguishable from each other. Of a wooden pier, and galaxies swirling underneath.

Whenever he leans out too far, the reflected eyes he meets are not his own, and he wakes with a scream lodged in his throat.)

Murphy shivers again, and savours the last remnants of his pride, before it, too, will have to be cast into the dirt and abandoned.

“I believe you forgot this, young friend.”

Murphy’s head snaps up.

Dreams and nightmares approach without a whisper, perfectly silent at night if they choose to be. Gilbert is no exception; and if Murphy were to pay attention to anything but his heart racing like a startled hare, he would perhaps be a little distressed by the fact that there are no fresh footprints in the snow beside his own.

But it’s only Gilbert, kind-eyed and not-human, holding out Murphy’s scarf like a peace offering.

Murphy does not take it.

“Did Gadling send you?” he asks, wary.

“Robert informed me what had transpired between you two.” Gilbert admits. “But rest assured, I am here on nobody’s behalf but my own - and, well, yours. Frightfully nippy tonight, wouldn’t you say?”

Murphy does not say. He trusts Gil as little as Hob, perhaps even less. A dream attempting to betray the memory of his master seems hardly like a paragon of virtue, and is perhaps even more suspicious than a deceitful human.

(He does, however, take the scarf now. It’s too cold to be stubborn, and when he winds it around his neck, it smells of sunshine on a summer meadow, warm and comforting.)

“And if you truly wish to leave… dear boy, I won’t stop you.” Murphy does not like the way Gilbert looks at him, as if trying to see someone else beneath his skin. He does not meet Murphy’s eyes, if he can help it. “In fact I would send you off with well-earned compensation for your time, and travel fare. Unless…”

Gil steps up to the parapet beside him.

“...unless I can convince you to stay…?”

“Why would you?” Murphy mutters, instead of why would I, if you’re offering to pay me off? “It should be perfectly obvious that I’ll never pass muster.”

“Ironically,” Gilbert smiles, but only at the man he pretends to see whenever he looks at Murphy, “it is well known among the former denizens of the Dreaming that His Lordship was often prone to very similar bouts of pessimism. I have faith in you, Murphy - and so does Robert Gadling. Please, do not leave. I rather doubt we will succeed without you.”

"You…" Murphy struggles with the words, the sentiment behind them lodging uncomfortably in his throat. "You have great respect, even love, for Dream of the Endless' memory. So why do you pretend? Why try to fool his siblings that I am him?"

For a moment, Gilbert seems ready to insist, as always, that Murphy is, or at least might be - but, to his credit, he does not play Murphy for a fool, in the end. Not this time. Not like Hob always, always does.

"You are quite correct. I loved His Lordship deeply, in a way that could never be understood by anyone but a dream and their creator." Gilbert sighs, his soft meadow-green eyes gazing far into the distance of better days, lined by old grief. "He made me to be the Heart of the Dreaming, and he was the Dreaming, so I knew his heart and self better than any other. The loss, when he… you cannot imagine it, young friend. I thought I would wither away and die. I thought that would be a mercy. To live as a dream in a universe that does not contain Dream of the Endless seemed entirely unthinkable, and to be quite frank, I did not think I would survive longer than a year at most in the Waking."

"I understand," says Murphy, quietly, and he does. He is no stranger to the feeling of being so untethered, only floating along with the end looming over him, death - not Death, no longer, the Endless have been cast from their domains - only biding its time.

(In the first year he can remember, Murphy did not think he would see another, either.)

"And yet, the year passed. And I lived." Gilbert smiles, faintly, taking off his glasses to polish them. "I suspect it was humanity which saved me, for all that they robbed me of my home and Lord, as well. I found… such joy, in this world. In my human form, wandering among them. Calling a few select individuals friends, even. Young Robert's companionship was a particular blessing, and I owe him more than he can ever know."

He sets the glasses back on his nose.

"Lord Morpheus is dead." Says Gilbert. Says it like fact, like something too absolute for the sort of dream-creature born of hypotheticals he is, like an unshakeable truth he has resigned himself to. His voice only barely breaks over the words. "And I shall grieve him for all the rest of my days… but I must live to mourn him. Life goes on, young friend, and we must all move along with it. And, well. I cannot speak for Robert's motivations, but the true reason why I have agreed to this mad scheme…"

Gilbert takes Murphy's freezing hands in his own. His fingertips are not lined quite right, they would not leave prints that look even remotely like those of a human - but aside from that, his grip is warm, avuncular, firm, reassuring.

"I fear that his siblings will not be able to live on without him." Gilbert confesses, quietly. "They are not made to accept change and move on from a loss as monumental as what humanity has wrought upon them. To have you… not him, not entirely, but perhaps enough… it is my most solemn hope that it might give them some form of closure at long last."

"So that's what it is?" Murphy laughs, bitterly. "Charitable concern for the well-being of personifications of abstract concepts!?"

"No." Gilbert corrects mildly. "Love. For my creator's family."

Murphy scoffs. His chest aches with it.

"What you, hmm. What you must understand, about Lord Morpheus…" Gilbert seems to be choosing his words very carefully. "...is that, for all that he was often harsh and commanding, he was so very loving, always. My Lord loved with all his self, even if he would attempt to turn a cold shoulder to the world - and I think you are much like him in temperament, young Murphy.”

Murphy does not acknowledge that. He doesn't think he can.

“He loved his family, and he loved the Dreaming, and all the beings in it. I was his heart, or near as, you must recall, I knew the truth at the core of him.

Memories or not, love as he did, and you will be a credit to his name, and a comfort to all who knew him."

(Murphy does not have it in himself to love like Dream of the Endless did. He already struggles to love at all.

But perhaps, for the sake of the entity whose memory he will dishonour, he can try.)

“So. Will you come back and resume your lessons?” Gil asks, very gently. “You may leave, now or any other time, of course you may. But it would be to your benefit, as well as to that of many others, if you did not.”

“I’ll stay,” Murphy forces out. He could blame the way his hands shake on the cold. “For now.”

“Thank you, dear child. Thank you.” This time, when Gilbert smiles, it very nearly feels like it is directed at him, after all. “Now, let’s get you out of this cold, hm? And Matthew as well.”

Murphy lets Gilbert herd him back to their inn, sits through Hob Gadling’s apology and wonders if it was sincere - he can never tell, with this infuriating man - and continues to learn as much as possible about the life of Dream of the Endless.

But he’s slowly realising, if anything will convince the Endless siblings, then it certainly won’t be the trivia. He’ll have to learn to love like the Lord of Stories, for their deception to have a snowflake’s chance in hell.

(Oh, wonderful. As if this wasn’t difficult enough already…)

[djarinsphere]

The help of a stranger | Din Djarin

Din Djarin x female!reader

Summary: When you need it the most, a stranger is willing to help you out. The stranger becomes someone you love, but could he ever feel the same?

Warnings: mention of abuse (workplace related), canon-typical violence, angst, only partially proof-read

Words: 4.2k

A/N: This took me a while to write, but I hope all of you enjoy it. I love Din in this and I hope you do too! Lemme know what you think :)

Request | Masterlist

The Mandalorian was used to travelling alone. He wasn’t only used to it, he actually preferred it a lot. Whenever someone else was on his ship with him, it was usually a bounty and most of them were dead as soon as they entered his ship. 

But things had been different for quite a while. Since he met the little child next to him, to be precise. Grogu had turned his life around in more ways than one but even simple things like travel had become quite different. He now had a child on board with him at all times and had to care for it while also doing his job to make sure they had enough credits to get through the days. 

It would be a lie if he said he didn’t have any problems arising through this new situation. It was hard to navigate everything at the same time and still be able to do everything just as efficiently as before. That’s why he decided to finally get some help on the front of the kid at least. It was just hard to find someone suitable for that job. Someone that wasn’t going to rob him first chance they got. 

Din didn’t even know where to start with this. He wasn’t going to put an advertisement out that would say “Seeking Nanny for green child”. The thought alone made his cheeks turn red. 

It was a rather lucky incident that eventually lead him to finally find someone that would be able to care for Grogu. 

After securing another bounty on a remote jungle planet, he decided that all the canned and warmed-up food in the Razor Crest wasn’t anything they should eat today. Besides, Grogu seemed to be a lot hungrier these days, so he would allow himself and his little companion to eat something better than whatever he stored on his ship. 

The small cantina was filled with all kinds of people. Din could spot pilots from the New Republic, workers and a few people that kept their faces hidden with cloaks and masks. If he had to guess, he would have guessed that they were smugglers or bounty hunters. But smugglers was more likely.

“You’ll behave this time,” he told the green child that he carried with him. “I don’t want to cause a scene again like last time. You aren’t supposed to eat all the insects you can find.” While he had gotten rather used to Grogu’s strange eating habits, all the people around them didn’t know that the small kid could eat basically anything and that was normal. But Din found himself looking away every now and then when Grogu would put a particularly disgusting insect into his mouth. 

A waitress welcomed them shortly after they stepped through the door. She led them to a table in the back and brought a high chair for Grogu. As soon as the waitress had turned around again, hurrying off towards another table, Grogu grabbed the small salt shaker on the table and started pouring its contents into his mouth. 

Din was looking away in that moment, eyeing a table in the back where  a card game was being played, but pistols were laying on the table, clearly ready to be used. 

You were tired of working in this cantina. Your boss was just ordering you around all day, making you do even more work since the droid he had used before broke down. The work wasn’t the only problem though. It was the constant delay of your payment, the customers that were always treating you like something inferior to them and you could not stand the horrible sanitary conditions in the kitchen. And there wasn’t much possibility to change anything since your boss was always monitoring everyone and if things weren’t done the right way, or the way he wanted them, hell would be let loose. 

Today, you were serving a Mandalorian warrior and a child that looked rather strange. You had never seen his species before, but you adored his huge green ears and his adorable eyes. After bringing them a high chair, you went back behind the counter to get  a datapad ready that would display the menu. With the sleeve of your shirt, you brushed off some dust from the device’s screen, letting out a small sigh. These also needed to be overhauled. It was an old edition and you already had to explain to your boss that some of the datapads didn’t even work properly at this point. A few of them couldn’t be turned on anymore either.

When you made your way back to their table, you saw the Mandalorian looking away from his child that was emptying the salt shaker right into his mouth. “Uh-“ you started, unsure if you would be allowed to do or say something about it, but you doubted that consuming so much salt could be healthy – for anyone. 

You gently tried to take the shaker from the little kid which made his ears drop almost immediately. He looked sad, frustrated and you instantly felt bad. 

By the time you placed the salt back onto the table, the Mandalorian was looking at you. A shiver ran down your spine, in fear. You could feel your throat drying up. This cantina had seen a lot of Mandalorians already and a lot of them had been looking for trouble, oftentimes not even stopping at the staff. It was always a challenge for you to be face to face with masked Mandalorians. Or masked people in general. How were you supposed to tell if they were upset or not? How were you supposed to prevent bigger mishaps?

“I’m sorry, I-“ you started, trying to explain yourself. Maybe it had been an issue that you stopped the child from emptying the entire shaker. What did you know about little green children with huge ears? 

“No, I’m sorry. He has to learn not to touch and eat literally everything,” the stranger interrupted you, taking the salt and pepper shakers further away from the baby. 

Relief washed over you. You weren’t just happy that you didn’t upset him, but also that you didn’t cause a scene and your boss would have another reason to come after you. You were pretty sure that you were on the verge of being fired and while this place was awful, you didn’t really have anywhere else to go and finding work these days was pretty hard. Most people earned their money by hunting bounties for guilds or the New Republic, but you weren’t very skilled with any weapons. You knew how to defend yourself with a blaster in a worst case scenario, but that was about it. 

You cleared your throat eventually, handing the Mandalorian the datapad. “You can find our menu on here. I will be back soon to take your orders,” you smiled friendly, trying to get back to the safety behind the counter. The Mandalorian simply nodded, before you turned away and made your  way back to the counter. You checked the window to the kitchen quickly, not seeing any new meals that needed to be carried to the tables, so you took the time to refill the bottles of blue milk. Lots of them had gone empty since your boss didn’t keep an eye on it and you were busy tending to the customers. 

You were about to close the second refilled bottle when your boss came around the corner, already an angry expression on his face. “Sir-“ you started, but he was quick to interrupt you. “Did I tell you to refill these?” His voice was loud, booming through the cantina as usual. You flinched visibly, immediately placing the bottle down on the counter again. “No, but I figured they might have to be refilled like usual,” you tried to explain yourself, heart beating wildly against your chest. You were frightened, again. You wanted nothing more than to get rid of this job. 

“But I didn’t tell you to do that now!” His voice just got louder. You could feel everyone’s stares on you already, all of that making your hands shake immediately. “I’m sorry, I-“ Your words weren’t more than nervous stammers. 

“This isn’t the first time you keep messing up. It’s always you that’s causing trouble.” All you had ever done here was try to get everything right. So many employees had already left but you didn’t and now this is what you got for all of it. Not that you could have afforded to leave. But during your time here, you still didn’t want to mess up. 

“Maybe I should finally get rid of you. This is your last shift.” 

You knew the shock was written on your face. An uncomfortable silence spread in the room that had been so loud just a few minutes earlier. Your heart threatened to stop as well. Where were you supposed to go? How were you supposed to survive? You didn’t have many savings, your rent was incredibly high and you had no idea where to find a new job. 

You were left standing in shock when your boss turned around and went back into the kitchen. You gulped, the world around you spinning for a second. Your hand found the counter to support you somehow, trying to prevent your fall. This was horrible. All of this was horrible. 

You made sure to pack everything that belonged to you into your bag when the cantina closed later that evening. It wasn’t much. You had just kept a mug around to fill yourself a drink every now and then. And had left a jacket in the kitchen in case it would get colder than usual. Of course, you wouldn’t miss this place, but you would miss the money you received. How were you supposed to pay the bills now?

Your only hope might be a cleaning job in one of the New Republic office facilities. But you had to get off this planet for that first.

Your thoughts were interrupted though when you saw the Mandalorian standing outside the building, seemingly waiting for you. Was he waiting for you? 

He approached pretty quickly then and you could hear a small sigh leave his lips. “I saw what happened earlier.” Of course he did. Everyone did probably.  

“I think everyone did,” you replied, visibly frustrated at the memory. You didn’t only get fired, you got fired in front of so many people. 

“Probably,” the Mandalorian added, looking around for a moment. He seemed kind of nervous for some reason, putting one of his hands on his hip. “Do you already have an idea of where to go? Job-wise?” 

It was a strange question. From a stranger specifically. Yet you decided to answer it truthfully. “No. I have honestly no idea what I will do now.” Tears were making their way into your eyes, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. How could this get even more embarrassing? You were now even crying in front of a stranger. 

The Mandalorian seemed to be a bit overwhelmed by your reaction, looking around helplessly and almost avoiding your gaze. He seemed to think for an awful long time, a time where you could feel more and more shivers rising up in your body. 

Eventually, he spoke again. “I think I have a job for you. If you want.”

Looking back, it might have been a bit foolish to just follow a bounty hunter you barely knew through the galaxy. But Din Djarin, as you had found out, never mistreated you even once. “The Job” you had been offered consisted of looking after the small child. It wasn’t the easiest job, especially since both Din and Grogu had a habit of getting into trouble quite often and you were the one that had to stick around and stitch them back together or make sure that Grogu didn’t get into too much danger. 

Almost a year had passed since you had left your old home behind and started to find a new one within the Razor Crest. Travelling the galaxy was intriguing and you got to see so many new places. Desert planets, jungle planets… things you couldn’t even imagine before. You had met new species, talked to more people than you probably had your entire life and tried so many new foods that you could barely keep track of them anymore. 

Din was a quiet travel companion but you noticed that with each passing month, he started to open up a bit more. First, your conversations consisted mostly of small talk and what mischief Grogu had been up to again. But then, he slowly started to tell you about some bounties he had done in the past, about planets he had visited and worries he had about your next destination. 

You also dared to open up more, especially about your time as a waitress, about everything that came before he gave you the chance to escape your miserable life back home. Din was a great listener. With time, your conversations got longer, the topics more meaningful and you sound found yourself talking about your biggest fears. Din was open with you about the fact that he was constantly worried about Grogu, that he had no idea how finding a Jedi was going to work out for him. You were honest with him about the fact that you didn’t really have anything but him, the child and your travels together. 

During all these talks, often happening late at night or while the stars were rushing by in hyperspace, you could feel yourself growing more and more fond of the Mandalorian. One night he told you about how he invented a rock game with other foundlings when he was a child, laughter making their way past his helmet. And every laugh left more butterflies in your stomach. Soon enough, you were filled with them, just like the smile was not able to leave your lips anymore. These conversations made you happy, let you feel safe and his voice started to become the most beautiful sound you could hear. And every time he retreated back to his bunk for the night, leaving you on your pile of blankets and pillows, you felt a sting in your chest, like something you loved dearly was gone again. 

With time, it became harder and harder for you to hide your feelings. You knew Din might be oblivious to some advances made by others – you had witnessed that yourself – but he would surely notice that your behaviour changed. Seeing each other every day, it would be inevitable. But you were determined to try your best at hiding whatever was going on inside you. 

Maybe it led to less late night talks, less meals spent together, but you were trying to save yourself from more hurt coming towards you. Not being able to act on your feelings was one thing, but being openly rejected would be another. At least you would be able to have the fantasies in your head. 

Today, you were sitting on the ramp of the Razor Crest, Grogu next to you, playing with his favourite toy – a ball. You watched him with a smile on your face. Din was out buying supplies and you decided to stay back and watch over Grogu here. It was like that a lot of the time. And sometimes Din would come back from a fight, armour dirty and sometimes even mildly injured. 

That was also one of the reasons why you didn’t dare to tell him about you how felt. He was a warrior, strong, brave and able to stand his ground. He had a presence, a strength, you could never match. You weren’t even able to hold your blaster properly sometimes. 

In your head, you imagined Din would like to have a partner, a riduur, that would be able to fight. Mandalorians were warriors and you were neither of these. Getting Din to open up had taken a long time, but learning how to fight for him would take even longer. 

You could only dream about being with him. 

Din was carrying a large bag with supplies when he came back to the Razor Crest. He already saw the two of you from afar and something about the way you played with Grogu, eventually picking him up and placing him in your lap, made his chest feel warm. His entire body started to feel warm, cheeks included. If he wasn’t wearing the helmet, the blush in his face would have betrayed all that was going on inside him. 

You were simply wonderful in his eyes. There was also a certain calmness he felt whenever he saw you with Grogu. You were like a mother to the little green child, but you had also become his calm in a storm. The Razor Crest had never felt like home as much as it did with you in it. 

But how could he ever explain all of this to you? 

A few more weeks passed and as did the stars in hyperspace. They were rushing past you on your way to a new planet, a new location, where Din had located a bounty he was after. You were sitting next to him in the cockpit, watching the different screens and buttons. One day you would finally at least get the courage to ask Din to show you the basics of flying. For now, you didn’t want to seem annoying. Not that he had ever given you the impression that he could be annoyed by you. 

It was just your own doubts. And the fact that you were probably not anything like an ideal travelling companion or partner for him. Other people surely knew how to navigate a ship, get rid of pirates and care for a child. 

“Do you already know what to expect?” You asked eventually, breaking the silence. Din turned his head towards you. You always wondered what eyes were hidden behind that helmet. Behind that dark visor that you couldn’t see past. 

“A bunch of smugglers that settled down in the woods. I’m supposed to bring their leader back to the client,” he explained, hand coming up to fix the armour on his shoulder. There was an urge in your fingertips to help him, but you held back. 

After months of living together, travelling together, you had learned to hold back, even though you wanted nothing more but to finally touch him. Just somehow. Somewhere. 

“Then I will already wish you good luck. I can wait here with Grogu again, if you want.” It was always easier for him to do his job without having Grogu, and now you, around. Not having to watch after a little kid while fighting was definitely a blessing you could get behind. So whenever it worked, you just stayed back on the ship with the little green one. 

Din walked off into the forest as soon as you had landed. You left the ramp open again, but sat down on some tree stumps, letting Grogu play around in the grass. He was surely putting a few bugs into his mouth but as you had learned, it wasn’t harmful to him and he was never not hungry. 

You still kept an eye on him. Din had told you about how important Grogu seemed to be to some people, for his abilities, and that they wouldn’t shy away from getting to him at all costs. You never let him out of your sight at all. 

It seemed to take Din forever. The sun had gone down already, but he hadn’t returned yet and slowly, worries were starting to spread inside you. What if something happened to him? What if he was bleeding out somewhere and couldn’t make it back to the ship? What if he had gotten lost in the woods? So many questions, unanswered. 

With every passing minute, your worries just grew. The worst scenarios started to form in your head. You could almost see Din’s armour in front of you, the shiny beskar covered in blood and dirt. His painful groans echoed in your head without actually being there. Panic was rising inside you. He had never been gone for that long. 

You started to pace around, Grogu sensing your discomfort and sitting on a stump, watching you without much movement. You weren’t sure if you were confident enough in your skills to go looking for him. It had been hours since he had disappeared between the trees and there was no way you would be able to find your own way in those woods. You had no experience navigating anything beside a busy cantina. 

Hope rose inside you as you spotted a figure in the shadows though. Same height as Din, almost the same built. Almost. This person as a lot broader, face covered as well, but with a mask of a different kind. A hood was pulled into their face and your heart almost stopped. This wasn’t Din. Without standing around much longer, you grabbed Grogu, pressed him against your chest and wanted to make a run for the Razor Crest. 

But someone was also standing behind you, blocking the entry into your ship. You gulped, panic filling your body completely. What were you supposed to do? Your hands turned sweaty, but you knew you had to find a solution or else you and Grogu would be damned. You needed to make a move now. The man in front of you just kept coming closer and closer. With every step, he sent another shiver of fear through your body. 

Then you could feel your limbs again and everything in your head was screaming Run!. So you did. You ran into the woods, hearing fast steps behind you, but you were good at running at least. Grogu was hiding his face in your top, the little child shivering as you carried him through the unknown forest. Branches scratched against the exposed skin of your arms, leaving it bloody and red. 

It seemed like an eternity, running and running, and slowly, your lungs were starting to give in. You stumbled, again and again, until you met the hard ground, stone pushing into your hands, sending pain through your arm. Your knees hurt, scrapped open, your legs weak from the running while you were still desperately trying to breathe. 

Then there was the cold metal of a blaster against your head, tears streaming from your eyes. You were really going to die here. And you weren’t able to protect Grogu at all. He would be taken away, Din would come back and find you both gone. If he was still alive. 

“Please-” you started, already expecting the laser to hit you, but it never did. The pain never came, the sound never filled your ears. 

Instead, you heard a dull sound and the cold feeling on your head left. You turned around, looking at the Mandalorian. 

“Din,” you breathed out, more tears coming from your eyes. Relief. You were overcome with relief, the feeling taking control of your entire body. Grogu sat down on the ground as you leaned against a stone, trying to get your breathing even again. But your eyes never left the man in front of you. 

The person that had attacked you laid on the ground, motionless. But Din was staring at you, through the dark visor once more. “Are you alright?” He asked. The trembling of his voice could not be hidden. He was worried, worried sick. 

“Are you alright?” He asked again, sinking down in front of you. His gloved hands cupped your head, the rough leather moving over your cheeks. 

Even though you couldn’t see his face, his body language betrayed him. He was shivering slightly, his breath faster than usual and all calm had left him completely. 

“I’m alright. Just a few scratches,” you nodded, a hand finding its way on top of his. You gave his hand a slight squeeze and for a moment, he seemed to become even more tense. Until he wasn’t anymore. 

A weight fell off his shoulders and his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into him. His armour was hard against you, but you could hear the beating of his heart and for a moment, the pain in your limbs didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered. 

“I was so afraid to lose you. I-” He kept you in his arms, even as he spoke. “I have come to care for you a great deal. There are some feelings I can’t really put into words.” 

He didn’t have to say more. You understood. It filled you with warmth, head to toe, with butterflies in your stomach and a smile on your lips. The pain was something from the past for now. Knowing that Din seemed to feel the same about you was all you had wanted for so long. 

“I was worried about you too. You were gone for so long and… I also don’t want to see you hurt. Ever. I don’t want to walk the galaxy without you.”

Din let out a sigh, his gloved hand moving soothingly over your hair. 

“You will never have to go anywhere without me, cyar’ika. I’m here to protect you.” 

[smallandalmosthonest]

i think part of why last night’s ep felt so weird is because it, to me at least, felt like it came way too late in the season.

excluding the breakup storyline*, and the pregnancy reveal**, these just felt like earlier beats:

athena, flash rob, and the probie(s) had this happened in like, the fourth episode, it would make a lot of sense that athena was injured (as she was JUST in a plane crash), and the seeds of 'flash rob' as a villain could have been planted early, giving athena an adversary. she could have spent half the season showing up in the aftermath of these mass robberies, frustrated that she's being outpaced by some twitch streaming jackass kid! this could have been compounded by the introduction of sparky, who athena's gut says not to trust but who, on paper, is a good kid. imagine if we had weeks of time to see athena "lose" to flash rob while building some degree of trust/warring with her instincts about sparky. think of how satisfying the sting would have been if we'd been waiting for athena to finally be one step ahead of flashy robert! think of how much more impactful sparky shooting an innocent woman in front of her child would be if we'd spent weeks with that character, and had seen athena trying to trust him! this also makes athena's decision to take on more probies a lot weightier: if athena was essentially training/mentoring this kid for months, how does she feel that he nearly killed someone because he lost his temper? then after the hiatus we could explore tonal shifts with athena having a string of new probies, or whatever. but do you see what i mean about the introduction of these things coming the ep before the 8a finale being... a bit late?

brad and gerrard show of hands, does anyone still give a fuck about these two? having gerrard take the hotshots job tied things up in a neat little bow and allowed us to solidly move on from these characters. this felt like a bizarre time to bring them back. we just found out maddie and chimney are accidentally pregnant again! bucktommy just broke up! eddie just shaved his moustache! hen's son nearly died and she only recently got her daughter back! why are we talking about these unlikable old white guys?! anyway. i think they should not have been revisited at all, except maybe to come back lola and norman style, way down the line, so the audience looks back like "oh yeah, those two... i'd almost forgotten about them!" BUT we live in an unjust world. so in that case, i think the issue with brad and gerrard is that they're too tonally different from the rest of the show. gerrard made sense in the begins episodes, when he was a pigheaded bigot representative of the old boys club institution and a foil to the new 118 that we know and love, and brad made sense in the three-part opening because he was a silly one-off character meant to add levity -- except we had levity because gerrard was written and played as a cartoon evil boss instead of a realistically awful person. so now 911 has two old white dudes who are at best good for a chuckle and at worst actively evil. and now gerrard is crying bc he loves his tv land job so much and brad is using start power and money to talk the brass into sanctioning his stalking of bobby nash. and we haven't seen these characters in ages and frankly, we don't care about them. my opinion is that we either need Way Less (end it with that shot of gerrard sipping his latte with his feet up or w/e) or, tragically, Way More. having them be a consistent problem that plagues the 118 would at least allow time for these characters to settle into a tone that sits well within the rest of the show.

it'll be interesting to see how this all pans out, pacing-wise, when we can look at this season in its totality next summer, and when rewatching in one fell swoop without a week between each episode. but at this moment, i don't think i'm alone in thinking that episode was just... skippable? isolated from the events that immediately preceded it? imo 8x07 added indelibly to the current state of s8 episodes feeling siloed within themselves with quick storylines that are introduced and then wrapped up within forty-some minutes.

*this had to happen a) after bucktommy had been together for a respectable amount of time onscreen and b) immediately after the breakup to prevent buck from looking like a crazy person, so i think this was perfectly place in the timeline

**had no material impact on the story thus far, we didn’t even see buck or chim struggling to keep it a secret. we didn’t even see chimney around the firefam, is that his strategy so he doesn’t spill the beans?? to just hide in the bunk room or something??? rip chimney han you would have loved playing keep away with buck’s phone and watching tmz videos of Bobby threatening to beat up a guy

[blueeyesamur-why]

What Are Little Girls Made Of?

“That child would see you and run.”

Master Eiji has several amazing lines as the local Wisdom Dispenser of Blue Eye Samurai, but I think this is the deepest of all.

It doesn’t sound like a dissuasion from Mizu’s quest, but it is.

It’s confirmation that she’s a soulless beast, but it’s a warning instead of an insult.

In the Ronin and the Bride play that parallel’s Mizu’s singular attempt at being happy, in the very moment where Mizu decides to throw away her relationship with Mikkio and her patience for Mama, the ronin puppet murders his child. In the immediate context of episode 5, it’s a literal demonstration of Mizu killing her chance at peace and a future.

Now flash forward to episode 7, on the eve of her quest fulfillment. In pointing out her hollowness, Master Eiji is implying that Mizu once had a soul. Once had an option to turn back. Once had gentleness. Once had patience. Once had teachability in her. Once had innocence.

If her rebirth and reforging of that sword mattered afterwards, why did the conversation still shift towards the content of Mizu’s heart and not her head?

Eiji is making a suggestion that should shatter the viewer—even if Mizu seemingly blew past it completely.

Is Mizu becoming a villain?

On paper, the answer is no. Blue Eye Samurai is commendably great at keeping Mizu amoral for her own benefit, but not unkind.

Narratively, still no, but the feeling that Mizu isn’t a good person should linger.

Fowler spelled it out in the final boss, but that doesn’t count in my eyes. He was taunting her in-story, and making a point about whiteness being genetically destructive out-of-universe.

[By the way, I think BES was doing a great job talking about colonialism until episode 8 which was a little too heavy handed with Fowler’s rancid takes right at his actual brawl with Mizu, but that does not enter into this post.]

If it was just Fowler’s cheekily evil means to an end, to get under Mizu’s skin and into London so he would have the cultural upper hand, Mizu being on a dark path would already be stale as it was uttered in the writers’ room.

Mizu doesn’t want to be associated with innocence, but Eiji insisting that maybe she should be, that maybe she is wrong to abandon happiness, needs to be a red flag to the viewer.

Mizu’s no hero. She’s no samurai. But she is her own unreliable narrator. If who she once was would be afraid of her now, then maybe we would do well to judge Mizu’s actions in England by the same lens as Swordfather judges: with the intent to dissuade her from whatever it is she sees.

[goji-pilled]

I DID IT! PROMISED CONSORT RADAHN BEATEN ON NG+7!!!

[kpop---scenarios]

Lost & Found (4)

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

“Daddy!” Jaehyun screams, running into Baekhyun's arms. Everyday, no matter where you were or who was home first, Baekhyun was the one that Jaehyun was the most excited to see. It made you sad that you needed to leave this house, this life that you had built but Jaehyun was your first priority and you would do anything you needed to keep him safe.

“How was your day buddy?” Baekhyun asks Jaehyun as the three of you walk into the house.

“I had so much fun!” He says. Baekhyun puts him down as you set down your purse.

“Jae, why don't you go play in your room?” You half smile at him. He runs off to his room without a thought.

“What's up?” Baekhyun asks you. “Somethings wrong.”

“San.. he um showed up at the daycare. He tried to take Jaehyun but he wasn't on the list. He told Jae to tell me he'll see me soon. We need to leave.” You sniffle. You could feel the tears pooling in your eyes as Baekhyun looks at you. “I would never ask you to leave your life here but I love you and I want you to be with us, but I don't think we have a choice.” You whisper. You're shaking, trying to figure out what the fuck you're going to do.

“Baby.” Baekhyun starts. “You always have a choice but I'd hope by now you'd realize I'm in it for the long haul. You wanna stay and fight him, I've got your back. If you wanna pack the house up tonight and go somewhere far away I'm in. Whatever makes you feel safest I'm down.” He smiles. Baekhyun holds onto your hands as he looks into your eyes. You want to run, but would that really solve anything?

That night as you tossed and turned in your bed, you had finally made your decision.

You were going to stay put for now, but you didn't want to let San intimidate you anymore. You were stronger than you were when you were with him and you'd never let him get his hands on your son. Unfortunately for you, you severely underestimated the lengths he was willing to go too.

The next day, you were prepared for San to pull something, but nothing came. You went to work, Jaehyun went to daycare and the day went on without a hitch. The next day was the exact same. Your anxiety never calmed, because you knew San and you knew what he was capable of. Which was anything. The next day, Wednesday, the day went by as it usually did, until your phone began to ring. You checked the caller ID and there was the daycare calling. Your stomach sank. Your hand shook as you answered, whispering the hello.

“Hi Y/N.” She says. “I don't mean to worry you, but Jaehyun had a little fall this afternoon. He's okay, he was checked out by the nurse and no concussion or anything like that. But he does have a pretty nasty goose egg on his forehead. I'm so sorry.”

The sigh of relief you let out was unreal. Of course you were upset your child was hurt, but you were just glad it had nothing to do with San.

“Thank you for letting me know. Is he okay? Should I grab him now?” you ask.

“It's up to you, he's okay, he has been asking for you though.” She answers.

“I'll come pick him up. Thank you for the call. See you soon.” You say, hanging up the phone before gathering your belongings. You quickly explain the situation to your boss and she of course has no issues with you leaving. You drove to the daycare and Jaehyun immediately ran into your arms, breaking down into tears.

“Oh my baby.” You coo. “should we go get some ice cream to help you feel better?” You ask. Jaehyun backs away from you, a giant smile on his face as he nods his head. You grab his hand and walk out to the car with your son.

A little bit later you're sitting on the bench, eating your ice cream as Jaehyun plays at the park. You're on the phone with Baekhyun while Jaehyun runs around the playground, and you're explaining to Baekhyun what happened to Jaehyun today, when your stomach drops. You see San walking up to Jaehyun on the other side of the swings.

“San is here, I gotta go.” You yell, hanging up the phone, dropping your ice cream and running to your son.

“Jaehyun, baby, let's go.” You say, picking him up. You glare at San as you turn to walk away and to your surprise San doesn't say anything or call after you. When you got home, Baekhyun was already standing on the driveway at home, waiting for the two of you. He quickly picks up Jaehyun, kissing his face all over, giving him all the sympathy for his head. You walk into the house listening to the giggling coming from your two favorite guys in the entire world. You had an early dinner and spent some time playing outside in the backyard until it was time to get ready for bed.

In the morning, the three of you woke up and Jaehyun would not leave your side. He wouldn't let you go to the bathroom on your own, get dressed, make breakfast. He cried at your feet when you talked to Baekhyun about work. You hated seeing him like this, so for today only, you called out of work so the two of you could have a mommy and son day. You both gave a kiss and a hug to Baekhyun, waving to him as he left for work and as the two of you were going to watch some cartoons, there's a few rapid knocks at the door. You keep Jaehyun in your arms as you answer the door.

“Good morning, my name is Jennie and I'm from Child Protective Services.” The lady says. Your eyes go wide.

“Excuse me?” You say. You're baffled, why the fuck would CPS be at your front door?

“We received a phone call from a concerned citizen yesterday about your son.” She says, motioning to Jaehyun. “We take these calls very seriously and have choice but to conduct an interview and do a home visit.”

“What did this concerned citizen say?” You ask. You already fucking knew who it was. You knew who was low enough to do this to you.

“Come on in, take a look around. I've got nothing to hide.” You say.

Jennie and two others walk into your home and begin searching around. She asks you a few questions about your home life, and then asks about Jaehyun's head.

“He fell at daycare yesterday.” You sigh. “They were playing outside, he tripped and fell, and hit his head on the edge of the slide.”

“So this wasn't you?” She asks.

You scoff. “Of course not. I would never hurt my son.”

She nods her head, writing in her book again.

“Well, I honestly don't see anything wrong here, there's no evidence of abuse or neglect here. I will have to confirm with the daycare about his head and it is standard protocol that there will be another surprise visit in the next month or so.” she explains.

“Of course. We've got nothing to hide here.” You smile.

“From the moment I walked in here I knew this was a bogus call. He sounded very angry on the phone and as you know, we have to make sure regardless.” she tells you.

“I completely understand. I appreciate your concern for my son but he is very very loved here.” You smile.

“You all have a great day and I'm very sorry about this.” She says as she and the two other men leave your house. You were going to fucking kill San.

You put Jaehyun down, and grab your phone to call Baekhyun.

“Hey babe.” He says, after the first ring.

“You'll never guess who was just fucking here.” You yell.

“San?” Baekhyun asks, you can feel his anger through the door.

“CP fucking S.”

“What the hell was CPS doing there?” He asks.

“They got a call from an anonymous citizen. Anonymous my fucking ass. I know it was him.”

“Who else could it have been?” He sighs. “What are you going to do?”

“I'm going to talk to him. Me and him, one on one. I'm going to take Jae to daycare and I'll pick him up a bit. Don't worry. I'll call you later. I love you.” You say, hanging up the phone.

“Come on buddy, let's go. Mommy has to talk to someone today.”

A little while later you're driving away from the daycare still fuming as you think about what San had done. That was one of the lowest things that man could have ever done. You drove and drove until you needed gas, and then you realized you had no idea where he lived. You didn't know where he worked, you honestly knew nothing about him right now. You pulled over into a gas station and went inside to pay for your gas and grab a drink. On your way out, you're staring at your car and it looks..funny. Slanted almost. As you get closer you realize that not one, not two but three of your tires are slashed.

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” You scream. If someone was in front of you, you would have beat the shit out of them.

“Hey! Y/N? Are you okay?” You hear from behind you. You turn around, and lucky for you, none other than San stands there, looking..worried.

“Did you fucking do this?” You spit, pointing to your car.

“What?” He asks, looking down to where you were pointing. “Your tires? No? Come on, Y/N you really think I would?’

“Yeah I really fucking do.” You snap. “Why the hell are you here?”

“I'm getting gas? It's a gas station.” He chuckles.

He wasn't wrong.

“Whatever. I need to call a tow truck.” You murmur, grabbing your phone. Before you can dial your phone begins to ring, a number you didn't recognize.

“Hello?” You answer.

“Is this L/N Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“This is doctor Kim from the hospital, we have a Mr. Byun Baekhyun here. He was in a very serious car accident and we need you to get here as soon as possible. He needs surgery but his emergency contact needs to sign.” He explains. Panic sets in. Your tires, you couldn't get there.

“A car crash? Surgery?” You cry. “I'll be right there.” You say, hanging up and trying to figure out the fastest way there. You glance at the time, 4:00pm. Your friends were all still at work, who could you call?

“Is everything okay?” San asks.

“Baekhyun was in an accident. I need to get to the hospital.” You say, tears welling in your eyes.

“I'll take you.” San offers. He puts his hands up as if to surrender. “I swear I'll drop you off at the front entrance and that's it.”

You hated that you didn't have a faster choice. You reluctantly agreed, following him to his car. You climb in, twiddling your thumbs as he pulls out of the gas station. You really hoped Baekhyun was okay.

BAEKHYUN POV

He sat in his car, thumbs tapping on the steering wheel as he sang along to his favorite songs on the radio. He glanced at the clock and groaned. 6:00pm, he hated when he was late going home, seeing you and Jaehyun was the best part of his day everyday.

His phone ringing startled him, until he realized it was you calling him.

“Hi baby.” He answers, smiling at just the thought of you.

“I can't do this anymore, Baekhyun.” You say. He frowns.

“Do what, love?” He asks.

“This. Us. I don't want to be with you anymore.”

“Y/N..” he starts.

“Don't.” You stop him. “I don't love you. I want to be with San. He's Jaehyun's dad and I want to be a family. A real family. He deserves to have his real parents raise him.”

“Y/N.” He says. “I am his dad. What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?”

“Stop it. You're not. You never will be. We're done. Don't contact me ever again.” You say, hanging up the call.

Baekhyun sits there, stuck in traffic, wondering what the fuck is going on. Just as he was about to try and call you, his phone rings.

“Y/N?” He answers.

“Hi, Mr. Byun. This is Renee from the daycare. It's been a little over an hour since we closed and Y/N still hasn't picked up Jaehyun and we can't get a hold of her..”

What the fuck was going on?

[yuseirra]

Onk spoilers*****

I had people contact me about 159 and GUYS...you have to trust this guy who Ai's loved with all her heart. Think about the songs...he doesn't regard his own life very high. He'd do ANYTHING, he'd lie with all his might, he's a liar... If that means he can bring her back. That's what he's trying to do and Aqua is there trying to prevent him from doing so.

Hehe more in the read more: I will have to see the actual chapter in full but here's what I think from what I picked up:

And it really DOES seem like.. Kamiki didn't play a part in Ai's murder. It REALLY was nino and ryosuke and they were the ones who collaborated. This means, Kamiki really could have just had the address slip out by pure mistake and that had a butterfly effect, making him feel guilty about everything. I honestly wouldn't take it any other way if I were to ship Ai and him together and I'd been drawing things all along with that as the basis. He's just like Aqua who's trapped in guilt for things he isn't so responsible for.

Yesterday I wrote a soft, tender and melancholic post as an analysis and what I picked up today (I honestly still have no clear idea of what the heck is going on lol, I could vaguely make out the words people tell me-I may be missing out BIG chunks and I NEED to see the facial expressions and stuff) made me burst out laughing, it's ridiculous and hilarious, even.. But it does make sense if it's this way.

The fact that Ai wants to HELP him and how Aqua mentions he has to HELP him now all connects so nicely together. I think there IS a reason why there were scenes where Kamiki called himself a liar as a child. He's still lying, but this time, as the bad guy who deserves to die because he doesn't want anyone to worry or care about him at all. He's really good at it in a meta sense, I bet people are going wild anticipating him as the true villian and the final boss but think about it, what is there for him to even lie about?? The lie, I think, is the fact that he told Aqua he's a psychopathic murderer who tried to scare Ai for having dumped him, leading to her death. He didn't do any of it, and only said those because he wanted to be avenged.. He can't forgive himself for having caused Ai to be attacked even if it's not really his fault. He doesn't want his children to feel bad about getting back at him for it. Aqua's saying he's insane for lying about stuff like this for this reason to his OWN SON.

Aqua should not approach Kamiki like this if he's the guy that's hurt Ai. He's weirdly lenient with him. And he says he's going to help him. You can't "help" a terrible murderer, especially the one that's killed your lovely mother.

As someone who's been drawing the hikaai ship w passion, I have a responsibility to grab kamiki by the collar and kick his butt really strong if he turns out to be a maniac 😊 no worries. But I don't think it's going to be that way, actually. He's lying in desperation because he's found Ai really loved him back; he can really cross lines now if it means she'll live. He wants to die in her place, that's what I'm guessing. He's really similar to aqua in some aspects. He's okay about being regarded as a terrible person as long as he can protect the ones he loves.

This is perfect in my opinion. If it goes in the direction I anticipate, it makes full sense. There must be some way to exchange a life for another. Kamiki wants to go through with it for Ai but Ai stops him with the help of her children even beyond death.

And you know what? I was beginning to think wait.. Did nino and ryosuke date? After the latest chapter but I didn' t write that because there was no solid basis but like, that turned out to be true,

I'm... Starting to get really confident about character analyses when it comes to this comic, everything escalates SO FAST and I can't predict what actions they take, but I feel like I can sense what kind of emotions they have when they do something.

So if this isn't it, I'll be. Then I'll actually feel more relaxed since I'll be able to watch without getting so attached to what they will be feeling, it'd be unpredictable for me and I'll just watch it for pure entertainment, there won't be any more analysis I make that will...be right.

I'll still be glad I've read this even if it ends up like that, though, it's made me think about a lot of things. I really come to love Ai so much as a character, and from what I see, everything will be as she wishes in the story of onk in the very end. I'd like to see it happen and I will root for it!

[oh-my-may]

I'm still alive omg!

Lots of irl things happening atm, BUT I managed to play through Penacony 2.2 (stretched over 3 days, no less)

Woah. Just ... woah. So much happening, so many characters interacting, so much lore, IT WAS GOING ON FOREVER but I loved it nonetheless. Of course they had to make the finale of Penacony long and epic.

FIRST OF ALL I KNEW IT! I TOLD Y'ALL!!! Literally in my post about 2.1 I talked about how Misha definitely has some close connection to Mikhail/the Watchmaker. I suspected him to be a child of his or something but the actual thing was close enough, I guess. My sweet boy. I love him. Mikhail being a Nameless was so cool. I'm really glad we're finally getting more lore and info about Akivili and previous Nameless, but I feel this was only the beginning.

I'm still madly in love with Sunday and Acheron. Robin is such a cutie too. I'm not gonna pull for her because I need my savings for Mr. Boothill and then Jade but I'll try and pull for her on a rerun. Sway to My Beat in Cosmos is such a banger. Caught myself constantly singing "riiise into my wooorld" (ofc much worse than the one and only lol)

On the topic of Boothill... my god. Love him. The way they can't make him swear so they just make him say??? Whatever??? Whose idea was that 💀 mother loving instead of mother fucking?? What the fork?? Wubbaboo?? I would die for this man. He looks so hot too. Again I have to say that HSR never misses with male character design. THEY'RE ALL SO PRETTY.

On the topic of pretty men... SUNDAY. My little radicalized bird man. I cackled when Sparkle called him chicken boy. She's just a hater, love her for that. Serious question... is he straight up dead now? I have only played the main quest so far so in case it'a mentioned somewhere in game don't spoil me but if it's not... tell me will I get to see him as a playable character... pls...

The whole thing with Ena the Order was so interesting to see. The fact that they made Order so similar to Harmony... AEON LORE. Love it. Resurrecting an Aeon is possible, you say? Kind of? The way they make Sunday'a motives understandable... he's just a boy

So I had the feeling that facing the boss Dominicus was a bit too easy the first time around. Wdym he has only one phase. I should have known there was more to it. Nevertheless loved to see IL and Jing Yuan cameo. They slayed (literally)

But then the eerie feeling I got when Black Swan talked to us on the Express... the way she makes us question everything that happened... GENIUS. I did kind of get flashbacks to Sumeru act II. The line between dream and reality, who is dreaming, what happens outside of the dream, the repetition of events... not critiquing or hating, but the concepts were just similar to me and I liked it :) Penacony just put a different twist to it.

The final fight was still very cool. The several toughness bars to break is really interesting, and the fact that you get a shield value the more bars you break. Also the Astral Ecpress literally crashing into Sunday??? I barely realized what I had just watched ghe first time around. Idk why, but the concept is hilarious to me. And the question remains... is Sunday dead now??? What about Robin?? Are they both dead??

Aventurine isn't dead either?? What about the present that Sparkle gave out to several people? What was it and what did it do? Is there smth I don't remember about that rn? Did I miss it? Also if Robin didn't actually die, how come we saw her body? If she just got transported to Dreamflux Reef, then there wouldn't have been a body, right? ALSO is Firefly dead too? She didn't make an appearance throughout the second part after we see her leave and she talked abput the way that the script said she would die 3 times in Penacony... I'm so eternally confused. It's part of the reason I think there's still gonna be more in the next patch... They're not gonna give us playable Firefly without at least a Story Quest for her, right? And Jade, too? She had one appearance in a throwback during the story, the Trailblazer hasn't interacted with her in person yet so the IPC probably hasn't finished their business with Penacony yet?

And since I mentioned Trailblazer... HARMONY MC??? LOOKS SO GOOD? LOVE THE MOVES?? THE HAT? The Significance of it had me 😭😭 my MC obsession ks back y'all. He looks so good. Caelus ily. The silly little dance with Clockie 😭 Can't wait to build him, I heard Harmony MC is really good.

I also briefly have to mention my girl Acheron. So they've literally just casually confirmed that she's Raiden Mai? I actually don't know what Bosenmori means or it's significance BUT RAIDEN MEI. And her whole flashback with Tiernan... I had my suspicions about his identity but the reveal was interesting, anyway. I've got the feeling this is not the last we've seen of Acheron. I never played HI3rd far enough to fully understand Raiden Mei's story, but I'm really intrigued with the whole thing. How come her and Welt exist in noth universes, how did they end up in HSR and what's their motive?

One thing I'm also still hung up on is the Annihilation Gang... no more mention of them? We don't get any real eyplanation as to why Acheron killed Duke Inferno? No little animation of the scene? I'm guessing it's gonna play a role later? The reason they talked about it is probably to tell us that Acheron was dangerous but like... idk what to think of it. No question the other members of the Gang are gonna appear later and maybe then we'll get more background? But if they don't play a large role in Penacony, why introduce them to the players prior to it in such a grand way?

Anyway, I judt have lots of questions still but no doubt the game is gonna answer them when the time is right... I had a really good time playing the quest, went through a whole lot of emotions during it, fell in love with even mlre characters... the new maps are GIGANTIC and look so cool and let me just say rhe music was so so epic too. Can't wait for the OST for this to get released.

I also wanna mention here (outside of discusaions about the story) is that having a fully leveled Acheron with pretty decent relics paired with a tank Aventurine feels like playing the game on easy mode. Nothing can penetrate a fully def stacked Aventurine, and Acheron's damage is straight up insane. Gonna take a while before I get tired of using them. They helped me clear basically all Stage V of every SU World I hadn't done yet... legends.

Now we wait for Boothill... The grip that Hunt characters have on me is unbelievable. Meta wise I know I should invest in Harmony characters... Ruan Mei or Robin but... HAVE YOU SEEN BOOTHILL? HAVE YOU???

Alright, that's it for now. Really excited to dive into exploration and events and quests of the new maps. Might post a little about it.. or maybe not. I still have to tell you about my thoughts on the Arlecchino quest and Remuria exploration, I began a post about that and never got around to finishing it.

As always, have some cool screenshots from the story!

[doctorlombax]

An Observation on Murder Drones and the Current Landscape of Stories with Female Leads

I’m guessing most of you have probably heard of the terms ‘girl-boss’ and ‘girl-power’ within the last decade or so. I see it a lot with action-based shows that center around a woman as a main character. The idea being that in the past most of our female characters were relegated to one-dimensional and helpless love interests for male leads. Now entertainment companies are realizing that women want to see themselves as the heroes of the story, so they went ahead and… over corrected.

What do I mean by this? I mean now we get shows about heroic women who and kick and punch and beat the boys around them in anything from pool to knife throwing. The lesson that writers should have learned from the past is “hey, let’s balance the skills and flaws of our girl and boy characters”. What they did instead was “okay, we will subvert the trope by having the girl take the guy’s place, and vice versa. She’s the hero and he’s the damsel. Audiences will love it!” Well I don’t. In fact I find it to be miraculously annoying (achievement unlocked: shade thrown).

For one thing, it makes the love story boring. Why would a powerful, kickass woman keep dragging around a guy that always messes up and needs to be rescued? What does he bring to the table? I don’t see the appeal because the writers are too afraid to put in a scene where she actually has to lean on him for assistance, because tHeN shE WouLd be WEAk and ThAt’s MiSOgYny.

And it’s not just about the fact that it makes the ships annoying. Even more to the point, as a woman I find it patronizing. Have you ever watched an adult play a game with a kid, and the kid trounces the adult (because of course the adult will let the kid win) and everybody is cheering the kid on and clapping? It’s sweet and cute when that happens because the person is a child. Not so much when it happens because the person is a girl.

Whenever I see these ‘girl-boss’ and ‘girl-power’ characters who never need to be rescued, always save themselves, and triumph in the face of every hurdle, it feels like the writers are saying to me “You go, Girl. Don’t worry- we’d never give this woman character flaws. That’s like taking feminism out behind the shed and shooting it. We would never bruise your delicate ego by having her be anything less than perfect!”

In the immortal words of Uzi: Bite me.

Speaking of Uzi, let’s get to talking about Murder Drones. I had heard about the show before, but only ended up watching it recently (which was lucky for me, just a couple weeks after the finale aired). For those who aren’t familiar, Murder Drones is an independent animation project on Youtube with 8 episodes, each with a runtime between 20 and 30 minutes. Quick spoiler-free synopsis: Uzi is a teenage worker drone living in a dystopia where her kind are fighting murder bots. She has a confrontation with one of the murder bots which sets off a chain reaction of events that leads her on a hero’s journey.

Uzi is every middle schooler’s edgy emo self-inset character. She’s filled with angst, has daddy-issues, and comes with a tragic backstory that is slowly revealed throughout the series. On the surface, she appears to be the exact kind of character I was complaining about disliking. Not only is she a child prodigy (built a weapon that can injure the murder drones, who up until then were believed to be indestructible) but she’s also far braver than any of the adults around her. And (SPOILER ALERT) she had a demonic form based on powers she inherited from her mother, as well as regeneration and telekinesis abilities (I bet some of you are thinking I made up those last two for giggles).

But she does not fall into ‘girl-boss’ territory. She also has moments of genuine weakness that she does not overcome by herself. She relies on luck, and has to lean on the people around her, specifically N most of the time. This is shocking because N is her male partner in the show. I know many writers of these kinds of girl-power shows balk at the idea of the main girl character being saved by her love interest, but there you have it. Uzi also has a ‘dark-night-of-the-soul’ moment where she needs her mother to pull her out. This is not some invincible character, she is flawed and needs support from those around her.

Now let’s talk a little more about N. On the surface, N appears to be your standard bumbling male-sidekick. He’s goofy, he makes mistakes, and tends to go along with whatever Uzi decides they should be doing at the moment. That being said, the writers clearly weren’t afraid to give him moments of depth and competence. He is silly, but he chooses to be kind in a world that has been incredibly cruel. He can also be protective, and is shown to have good instincts in a fight. N does drink his respect women juice, but it’s not that ultra-processed, high-fructose ‘all-women-are-queens’ garbage. He treats the women around him like people (worth noting that aside from N and Khan, all significant characters of the show are women and girls). He’s kind to them whenever he can be, but he also calls them out when they’re wrong. And when he has to fight them, he doesn’t hold back. He gave Tessa multiple chances to see reason. When she made it clear she wasn’t going to change her mind about killing Uzi, he did not hesitate to cut off her head #ActualFeminism.

I just find it so ironic how a story that touts itself as a cringy, self-indulgent and having ‘Mary-Sue energy’ ended up having one of the most well-balanced dynamics between their female lead and her male deuteragonist counterpart that I’ve seen in recent years. Thanks, Murder Drones.

P.S. Just in case there’s any confusion around my use of the word female, this post and blog are 100% trans inclusive. Terfs don’t even touch this post.