#nothing significant 99% of the time. and it's practically subconscious.

[mielmoto]

good time for a friendly reminder that honey does, indeed, have the magpie brainrot / 'borrower' tic stereotypical of fae in tales. which is to say: trinkets, baubles, and other neat little things may go missing after she visits your abode.

[akihiko-sanada]

BRO, WHY’D YOU LIKE YUKICHIE SO MUCH??

Ok first of all, bro,,, B R O, bro ilysm being able to infodump like this means so much to me for real. And second of all, this is gonna be very bullet point-e since I can't string a coherent sentence together to save my life. LET'S BEGIN:

Tropes and dichotomies

Yukichie has a bunch of romantic tropes, including but not limited to:

-Beautiful and popular genius falls for airhead jock outcast.

-Childhood best friends to lovers.

-Two girls fall in love but one girl's close minded parents (yukikos) disapprove and kick her out so she suddenly moves in with chie (this definitely happened i'm sure of it).

Now the dichotomies:

Fire and ice: I feel like I don't even have to explain why this is romantic so I'm just gonna jump straight into the evidence: Yukiko is the teammate with Agi and Chie is the one with Bufu, one of Yukiko’s themes is called “Snowflakes” and there's also the twin dragons special move.

Sun and moon: Might be a stretch but I really do think that Yukiko is the moon, silent, beautiful and graceful while Chie is the sun, energetic, bright and hot to the touch.

Shadows

Shadow Chie reveals that Chie developed an inferiority complex from constantly comparing herself to Yukiko (not surprising but aw :(), and part of this is her not feeling worthy of Yukiko and her company, bUT MEANWHILE YUKIKO HAS THE OPPOSITE PROBLEM WHERE SHE RELIES TOO MUCH ON CHIE,,, like shadow Yukiko literally says says to Chie “Chies my prince, she's a strong prince, or at least she was”, she hoped and relied on Chie to save her from having to take over the inn and having to stay in Inaba,,,,. ALSO WHEN SHADOW YUKIKO'S HEALTH IS LOW SHE SUMMONS A PRINCE SHADOW WTF, WTF WTF WTF, SHE STRAIGHT UP SUMMONS HER PRINCE, CHIE, WHEN SHE’S MOST VULNERABLE????? HELP???

And speaking of shadows, Chie is pretty calm when it comes to rescuing people from the TV world except for Yukiko, she goes absolutely APESHIT, says "You don't know SHIT about how I feel! Yukiko might DIE from this, for crying out loud! I'm going, and that's that!" before running HEADFIRST INTO A MONSTER INFESTED PALACE WITHOUT A PERSONA OF HER OWN,, TRUE LOVE RIGHT THERE BABY. She also almost single handedly beats up a whole ass police station for even suggesting that Yukiko was involved in the murders.

Color theory

I'm a huge rwby fan so colors is definitely gonna have its own section IFSFNS. Anyways, in color theory, colors that are on opposite sides of the color wheel are considered complementary colors, and guess what the most used example for this? Green and red! Green and red always pop out when they're next to each other, and color is very important in p4 (for various reasons but a big example is how all the students at school wear dull colors except for the investigation team, they're just full on power rangers), so id like to think that making Yukiko’s and Chie’s colors the prime example of complementary colors was something intentional made to remind you of how well they work together.

Also: Chie “wow yukiko red looks really good on you” yukiko, twirling her hair “haha thanks do you mind if i wear it for the rest of my life-”. Also side note I’m 100% sure that Rio’s favourite color is red because it reminds her of Hamuko <3.

Comphet and obliviousness

It's very obvious that like, everyone’s in the investigation team suffers from comphet, especially considering their reaction to Kanji coming out (which is, something), but I'm only gonna talk about yukichies; first of all this whole scene screams of comphet, no one just gushes about their friend THAT much:

Also, Chie disapproves of all of Yukiko's suitors cause she's subconsciously jealous, Chie is 100% a baby lesbian cause shes literally like: “haha im not a lesbian, I just cut my hair short and mostly hang out with guys because then I’ll be more masculine and men like girls so-aw shit”.

Also, Inaba is a breeding ground for comphet because it's a rural town in the middle of nowhere in a town where most of the popuñation is old so,,,yeah,,,.Yukiko feels like her only option in life is to take over the Amagi inn and follow in her family's footsteps, which would in turn be like rotting away in Inaba, so I like to think that the Amagi inn is some sort of metaphor for how being yourself is key even though it can disappoint your parents by making you stray from the path they paved for you, but that’s still an important step to take to become a better person and being true to yourself. Now that isn't very different from coming out now is it?

Official art and others

-Yukiko’s and Chie’s designs inspired Tomoe Tachibana and Maria Torres from Trauma Team and they’re hella gay

-Yukiko and Chie are next to each other or side eyeing each other when the other isn't looking in 99% of the official art they're in, I wonder why that is-. Also if  you look through Chie’s gallery 90% of her photos include Yukiko and vice versa.

-Everyone in Inaba knows that Chie and Yukiko are practically dating cause some bullies literally threaten Chie with hurting Yukiko saying stuff like “that precious Yukiko-san of yours” and “So don't you care about what happens to your loved ones” LIKE HELLO???

-Chies social link? oh you mean the yukichie social link right? No but seriously like Chies social link revolves around Yukiko NANFFGGW

-Yukiko’s theme in p4u is “princess Amagi” and shadow Yukiko calls Chie her prince, coincidence? ABSOLUTELY NOT. 

Fun headcanons and random stuff

-Chie definitely short circuited for a full ten seconds when she saw Yukiko in a yukata for the first time

-I'm sure that when the investigation team meets up like 20 years after p4 they'll be like “wait Yukiko you've been living with Chie for years?? did you get married?” Yukiko and Chie who haven't even started dating officially “no?? what are you talking about- WAIT.”

-Yukiko and Chie: *adopt three cats and a dog and call them their children*, also yukichie “we’re just really good friends :)))”

-Yukiko and Chie definitely made out with each other a couple of times using the excuse of “were practising for when we have boyfriends”

In conclusion, yukiko and chie have the type of love where they've known each other for so long and care for each other so deeply and passionately that they don't need to search for a significant other because deep down they've always known they were each others. They've always pictured the other in their life from beginning to end but have yet to put together that they want to be in each others life romantically because of comphet and just, never really seeing each other as an option because they've just always been friends, nothing more nothing less. Thank you for coming to my ted talk I hope I gave you yukichie brainrot <3

[binsofchaos]

99 Additional Bits of Unsolicited Advice

• That thing that made you weird as a kid could you make great as an adult — if you don’t lose it.

• If you have any doubt at all about being able to carry a load in one trip, do yourself a huge favor and make two trips.

• What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. At your funeral people will not recall what you did; they will only remember how you made them feel.

• Recipe for success: under-promise and over-deliver.

• It’s not an apology if it comes with an excuse. It is not a compliment if it comes with a request.

• Jesus, Superman, and Mother Teresa never made art. Only imperfect beings can make art because art begins in what is broken.

• If someone is trying to convince you it’s not a pyramid scheme, it’s a pyramid scheme.

• Learn how to tie a bowline knot. Practice in the dark. With one hand. For the rest of your life you’ll use this knot more times than you would ever believe.

• If something fails where you thought it would fail, that is not a failure.

• Be governed not by the tyranny of the urgent but by the elevation of the important.• Leave a gate behind you the way you first found it.

• The greatest rewards come from working on something that nobody has a name for. If you possibly can, work where there are no words for what you do.

• A balcony or porch needs to be at least 6 feet (2m) deep or it won’t be used.

• Don’t create things to make ; make money so you can create things. The reward for good work is more work.

• In all things — except love — start with the exit strategy. Prepare for the ending. Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

• Train employees well enough they could get another job, but treat them well enough so they never want to.

• Don’t aim to have others like you; aim to have them respect you.

• The foundation of maturity: Just because it’s not your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility.

• A multitude of bad ideas is necessary for one good idea.

• Being wise means having more questions than answers.

• Compliment people behind their back. It’ll come back to you.

• Most overnight successes — in fact any significant successes — take at least 5 years. Budget your life accordingly.

• You are only as young as the last time you changed your mind.

• Assume anyone asking for your account information for any reason is guilty of scamming you, unless proven innocent. The way to prove innocence is to call them back, or login to your account using numbers or a website that you provide, not them. Don’t release any identifying information while they are contacting you via phone, message or email. You must control the channel.

• Sustained outrage makes you stupid.

• Be strict with yourself and forgiving of others. The reverse is hell for everyone.• Your best response to an insult is “You’re probably right.” Often they are.

• The worst evils in history have always been committed by those who truly believed they were combating evil. Beware of combating evil.

• If you can avoid seeking approval of others, your power is limitless.

• When a child asks an endless string of “why?” questions, the smartest reply is, “I don’t know, what do you think?”

• To be wealthy, accumulate all those things that money can’t buy.

• Be the change you wish to see.

• When brainstorming, improvising, jamming with others, you’ll go much further and deeper if you build upon each contribution with a playful “yes — and” example instead of a deflating “no — but” reply.

• Work to become, not to acquire.

• Don’t loan money to a friend unless you are ready to make it a gift.

• On the way to a grand goal, celebrate the smallest victories as if each one were the final goal. No matter where it ends you are victorious.

• Calm is contagious.

• Even a foolish person can still be right about most things. Most conventional wisdom is true.

• Always cut away from yourself.

• Show me your calendar and I will tell you your priorities. Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you where you’re going.

• When hitchhiking, look like the person you want to pick you up.

• Contemplating the weaknesses of others is easy; contemplating the weaknesses in yourself is hard, but it pays a much higher reward.

• Worth repeating: measure twice, cut once.

• Your passion in life should fit you exactly; but your purpose in life should exceed you. Work for something much larger than yourself.

• If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.• When playing Monopoly, spend all you have to buy, barter, or trade for the Orange properties. Don’t bother with Utilities.

• If you borrow something, try to return it in better shape than you received it. Clean it, sharpen it, fill it up.

• Even in the tropics it gets colder at night than you think. Pack warmly.

• To quiet a crowd or a drunk, just whisper.

• Writing down one thing you are grateful for each day is the cheapest possible therapy ever.

• When someone tells you something is wrong, they’re usually right. When someone tells you how to fix it, they’re usually wrong.

• If you think you saw a mouse, you did. And, if there is one, there are more.

• Money is overrated. Truly new things rarely need an abundance of money. If that was so, billionaires would have a monopoly on inventing new things, and they don’t. Instead almost all breakthroughs are made by those who lack money, because they are forced to rely on their passion, persistence and ingenuity to figure out new ways. Being poor is an advantage in innovation.

• Ignore what others may be thinking of you, because they aren’t.

• Avoid hitting the snooze button. That’s just training you to oversleep.• Always say less than necessary.

• You are given the gift of life in order to discover what your gift *in* life is. You will complete your mission when you figure out what your mission is. This is not a paradox. This is the way.

• Don’t treat people as bad as they are. Treat them as good as you are.

• It is much easier to change how you think by changing your behavior, than it is to change your behavior by changing how you think. Act out the change you  seek.

• You can eat any dessert you want if you take only 3 bites.

• Each time you reach out to people, bring them a blessing; then they’ll be happy to see you when you bring them a problem.

• Bad things can happen fast, but almost all good things happen slowly.

• Don’t worry how or where you begin. As long as you keep moving, your success will be far from where you start.

• When you confront a stuck bolt or screw: righty tighty, lefty loosey.

• If you meet a jerk, overlook them. If you meet jerks everywhere everyday, look deeper into yourself.

• Dance with your hips.

• We are not bodies that temporarily have souls. We are souls that temporarily have bodies.

• You can reduce the annoyance of someone’s stupid belief by increasing your understanding of why they believe it.

• If your goal does not have a schedule, it is a dream.

• All the greatest gains in life — in wealth, relationships, or knowledge —come from the magic of compounding interest — amplifying small steady gains. All you need for abundance is to keep adding 1% more than you subtract on a regular basis.

• The greatest breakthroughs are missed because they look like hard work.

• People can’t remember more than 3 points from a speech.

• I have never met a person I admired who did not read more books than I did.

• The greatest teacher is called “doing”.

• Finite games are played to win or lose. Infinite games are played to keep the game going. Seek out infinite games because they yield infinite rewards.

• Everything is hard before it is easy. The day before something is a breakthrough, it’s a stupid idea.

• A problem that can be solved with money is not really a problem.

• When you are stuck, sleep on it. Let your subconscious work for you.

• Your work will be endless, but your time is finite. You cannot limit the work so you must limit your time. Hours are the only thing you can manage.

• To succeed, get other people to pay you; to become wealthy, help other people to succeed.

• Children totally accept — and crave — family rules. “In our family we have a rule for X” is the only excuse a parent needs for setting a family policy. In fact, “I have a rule for X” is the only excuse you need for your own personal policies.

• All guns are loaded.

• Many backward steps are made by standing still.

• This is the best time ever to make something. None of the greatest, coolest creations 20 years from now have been invented yet. You are not late.

• No rain, no rainbow.

• Every person you meet knows an amazing lot about something you know virtually nothing about. Your job is to discover what it is, and it won’t be obvious.

• You don’t marry a person, you marry a family.

• Always give credit, take blame.

• Be frugal in all things, except in your passions splurge.

• When making something, always get a few extras — extra material, extra parts, extra space, extra finishes. The extras serve as backups for mistakes, reduce stress, and fill your inventory for the future. They are the cheapest insurance.

• Something does not need to be perfect to be wonderful. Especially weddings.

• Don’t let your email inbox become your to-do list.

• The best way to untangle a knotty tangle is not to “untie” the knots, but to keep pulling the loops apart wider and wider. Just make the mess as big, loose and open as possible. As you open up the knots they will unravel themselves. Works on cords, strings, hoses, yarns, or electronic cables.

• Be a good ancestor. Do something a future generation will thank you for. A simple thing is to plant a tree.

• To combat an adversary, become their friend.

• Take one simple thing — almost anything — but take it extremely seriously, as if it was the only thing in the world, or maybe the entire world is in it — and by taking it seriously you’ll light up the sky.

• History teaches us that in 100 years from now some of the assumptions you believed will turn out to be wrong. A good question to ask yourself today is “What might I be wrong about?”

• Be nice to your children because they are going to choose your nursing home.

[ncmagroup]

Written by Scott Tousley

If a conversation ends after “So what do you do?” … things can get awkward.At this point, we don’t know what else to say. We stink at small talk. We are shy. We are insecure. We’re introverted. Whatever the reasoning or logic, awkward conversations are, well, awkward. It’s uncomfortable for everyone.

But no one wants to feel awkward. We want to be liked. We want to be charming. We want to be charismatic. But that’s a natural instinct, rooted in our psychological desire to belong, as illustrated in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:

So that brings up the question — what are the psychological habits of the most likable, charismatic, and charming people?

To uncover the trends, we dove deep into research and studies of behavioral psychology. So if you want to transform from awkward and shy, to charming everyone you meet … check out the following tips, validated by countless studies and research.

1. They have positive and negative empathy.

People who possess positive empathy don’t get jealous, they get excited. They are thrilled when:

+ Someone else decides to quit their job and travel in South America for 6 months.

+ Someone else gets their dream promotion (or hired at their dream company).

+ Someone else gets their business acquired for $100 million.

Negative empathy is the ability to comfort others when they’re down. People who possess this trait will:  

– Help someone when their family member gets diagnosed with cancer.

– Support someone when they get fired from their dream company.

– Comfort someone when they break up with their significant other of six years.

Positive and negative empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and genuinely feel what they are feeling — either good or bad.

In fact, we even had a part in our brain dedicated to empathy called the Right Supramarginal Gyrus, that triggers empathetic responses:

We are physiologically and psychologically hardwired to help people (i.e. feel empathetic). The trick is feeling it for both positive and negative events.

Action Step: Take an Emotional Intelligence Quiz.

Emotional intelligence is an incredibly valuable skill, which was found to be the strongest predictor of performance. Research from TalentSmart explains emotional intelligence is responsible for 58% of success in all jobs.

In a nutshell, emotional intelligence is the ability to feel what someone else is feeling. The ability to be empathetic and put yourself in their shoes.

Test your knowledge by taking this free emotional intelligence quiz from the University of Berkeley-California.

2. They are humble.

This quote sums it up perfectly:

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.

– C.S. Lewis   

People who are genuinely enjoyable to be around are humble, not arrogant. They don’t wave awards in people’s faces. They don’t name drop for the sake of sounding important. They don’t toot their own horns. They don’t have an aura of I-am-the-coolest-person-in-the-world.

Of course, it’s healthy to be confident and sustain a high self-esteem. But there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. And the difference is humility.

It separates those enjoyable to be around versus those you can’t stand:

Think of Kanye West — he’s incredibly successful, yet incredibly obnoxious. Now think of Barack Obama — he’s incredibly successful, yet incredibly humble.

Love or hate Kanye West’s music, there is no denying his supreme confidence and arrogance. Agree or disagree with Obama’s policies, there’s no denying his supreme confidence and humility.

There is a fine line … and people who are enjoyable to be around avoid egocentric, self-centered bragging.

Action Step: Observe the patterns of humble people.

One of the easiest ways to practice humility is to observe the patterns of humility of other people. Take this video of Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela meeting:

You see them smile, stare deep into each other’s eyes, touch each other on the shoulder, and nod in as if they’re bowing. They are showing respect and courtesy.

3. They are vulnerable.

Vulnerability is uncertainty. It’s putting yourself out there to risk embarrassment or judgment. That definition can become foggy, so here are a few examples: 

  Vulnerability is approaching a stranger in a coffee shop, asking them on a date.

  Vulnerability is giving a presentation to 195 people, even when you’re scared shitless of public speaking.

  Vulnerability is stating your conflicting opinion when nine out of ten people in a room all believe the same thing. 

Brene Brown, a social psychologist with 10 years of experience of studying vulnerability, gave one of the most watched TED Talks of all time at over 20 million views: 

Let’s be clear — being vulnerable isn’t easy. It’s one of the most emotionally challenging hurdles one can face, overcoming the fear of being judged or criticized.

Yet incredibly likable people aren’t afraid to open up. They aren’t begging for approval from others, so they have no desire to come off as a perfectionist. Furthermore, they realize that those who do appear as perfect may actually be less likable.

When someone appears perfect, we distance ourselves from them. When they appear flawed, we’re attracted to them. This psychological phenomenon is known as The Pratfall Effect:

The Pratfall Effect 

By making a mistake, or admitting to a mistake, we become more likable. Studies prove people connect with those who admit their flaws, versus those who appear as perfect all the time.

By being vulnerable, we prime ourselves for failure. Through failure, we become more likable. Thus, the vulnerability has the power to trigger likability.

Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.

– Sigmund Freud    

Action Step: Do a Stranger Photo Challenge.

So you’re afraid of feeling awkward or vulnerable? Try out this “failure challenge” by the CEO of SumoMe, Noah Kagan:

1. Find a complete stranger to take a picture with you. 2. Have them hold a sign for proof (see sign here). 3. Upload photo.

See more details on this page.

4. They have a sense of humor. 

Watch this 30-second clip:   

Now don’t you just like Old Spice a little bit more?

They’re leveraging a psychological effect called the Peripheral Route to Persuasion. Since it’s a low cognition product (i.e. I don’t think of what deodorant to buy for more than a few seconds), they’re leveraging humor as a “liking cue” to create a subconscious inkling to purchase Old Spice as a quick decision amongst competitors. 

In layman’s terms, that means when I’m walking through CVS searching for the magical slimy stick of chemicals (what is deodorant made of anyway?) and see Old Spice … I can’t help but grabbing it. 

Validating their logic, in a study conducted by the American Psychological Association, people who were exposed to humorous ads for low-cognition products were vastly more likely to purchase the product. 

But here’s the crazy part — people HATE ads. So if ads alone can make someone smile … surely so can another human. 

Think about it. When is the last time someone you just met cracked a joke and you thought, wow I hate guy/girl. Probably never. 

It seems obvious, but people who are enjoyable to be around genuinely have a great sense of humor.

Action Step: Try the 5-5-5-5 email joke experiment.

Think you’re not funny? Sure you are. Schedule to send 5 emails over 5 days at 5pm, BCCing 5 different people.

1. Go to this subreddit called /r/3amjokes. It’s sorted by the best one-liner jokes of all time.

2. Pick your 5 favorite jokes.

3. Write an email with the question in the subject line and the answer in the body:

4. Schedule an email to send at 5pm, BCCing 5 different people. After downloading HubSpot Sales, just click the clock icon by the send button and choose your time:

5. Repeat this to schedule emails for 5 consecutive days at 5pm. It will take less than 5 minutes.

Because who doesn’t want to get a corny joke in their inbox at 5pm after a stressful day of work?

5. They are present.

How frequently does this happen?

Yet, I’m not one to judge. I’m guilty of this from time to time as well. However, I’ve basically ended my smartphone addiction by keeping my phone on Do Not Disturb 24/7:

When our phones vibrate, we are curious. Who texted us? So we check to find out. As a result, we’re distracted from the face-to-face-conversation. This makes it seemingly impossible to have a productive face-to-face conversation.

Similarly, it’s difficult talking to someone who is completely tuned out of a conversation. A wandering mind is far more difficult to fix than clicking a button on your phone. But just because it’s difficult, doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

I’ve had my fair share of mind-wandering problems, thinking about other things going on in my life during a conversation, but one method I’ve found to help is meditation. And I’m not the first (or last) to preach about the powers of meditation. These successful people also practice meditation:

Mark Benioff (CEO of Salesforce)

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Oprah Winfrey

Tim Ferriss (entrepreneur and author)

Martin Scorsese (film director)

Ray Dalio (hedge-fund manager)

If you’re struggling with being present during conversations, I suggest giving meditation a go.

Action Step: Practice meditation for 10 minutes a day.

Download Headspace, an iPhone and Android app that guides you through the basics of meditation, in 10 minutes per day.

I’ve tried plenty of other applications and methods, but I’ve found nothing better than Headspace to learn the basics and get started. All in just 10 minutes per day. Plus, it’s free.

6. They are genuinely interested in EVERYONE.

When you see this, how does it make you feel?

If you’re like 99% of humans, it makes you smile and say “awwwwww, GIMME THAT DOGGY!!!” 

Why do dogs make us feel this way? Why are they so lovable?

Perhaps because they are genuinely excited to greet EVERYONE. They don’t pick and choose who they are excited to meet for the first time or see for the second time.

Remember how likable people are humble? Well, they’re also not pretentious.

That means they don’t hold a chip on their shoulder when dealing with someone who is “under” them. They are genuinely interested in what EVERYONE has to say. They want to hear their story.

Charisma is not so much getting people to like you as getting people to like themselves when you’re around.

– Robert Brault   

Action Step: Try “The Server Test.”

Ever been to a restaurant and someone is extremely courteous to you, but is impolite to the waitress or waiter?

That’s the server test.

Next time you’re considering a new hire or business partner, take them out to lunch. Then see how they treat the server. It’s a judgment of character outside of the realm of impressing the person above them. It shows they are kind and genuine to all people, not just those who they’re trying to impress.

Hat tip to Jeff Haden for this incredible bit of advice. 

7. They avoid social narcissism. 

Guess what the favorite topic of conversation is a social narcissist? Themselves.

They want to talk about their stories. Their problems. Their successes. Their complaints. Their family. Their friends.

45 minutes later, it’s time to split ways and they haven’t once asked about the other person’s past, present, or future.

Instead of rambling about how amazing (or terrible) their lives are, likable people, ask questions. They dive deep into the minds of the person they’re talking to.

Not surface-level, small talk questions such as where are you from? Or what do you do? Or how about that weather today?

But they dive deep, asking open-ended questions, uncovering the emotions and motivations of people. They ask questions that will make the other person feel good — or ask themselves questions. They ask open-ended questions. They ask why. They show genuine interest.

Action Step: Ask open-ended questions.

Getting stuck in a conversation? Or it feels like a dead end? Try asking open-ended questions. As soon as you learn a little about someone, ask:

  How did you do it?

  Why did you do it?

  What did you struggle with most?

  What was the most valuable lesson you learned from that?

You’ll be surprised how far a conversation can go when the “yes/no” questions are avoided.

8. They are generous and altruistic.

According to Adam Grant, the youngest-tenured and highest-rated professor at Wharton School of Business, there are three types of people:

1. The Taker

2. The Matcher

3. The Giver

  The Taker is an egoist. They tend to get more than they give. They believe the world is a competitive, dog-eat-dog world. As a result, they put their needs before everyone else. This strategy works for short-term gain … but it’s nearly impossible to sustain.

The Matcher is someone who seeks a balance between giving and taking. They seek fairness and equality. If they put too much into a relationship, without getting anything in return, they’ll eventually give up. They believe in even exchanges and trading favors.

The Giver is altruistic. It’s a rare breed of human who doesn’t look for anything in return. Whereas Takers are focused on receiving all of time and Matchers are focused on receiving at least some of the time … Givers don’t even think about it.

By giving and giving and giving … you also increase your chances of receiving value in return:

It’s incredible how far you’ll go by being generous and altruistic, putting everyone else’s needs before your own. 

Hiten Shah, CEO of KissMetrics, is the epitome of a giver. He even boasts an inspiring Zig Ziglar quote on his Twitter homepage:

From the man who started two wildly incredibly successful software companies (Kissmetrics and Crazy Egg) … I’d take that advice to heart. 

Action Step: Be honest with yourself … 

Ask yourself the following:

When I’m helping someone, do I expect a favor in return?

If you answered yes, you may be a Taker or a Matcher. If you answered no, you may be a Giver. Honestly, consider the power of giving without expectations. You’ll be surprised how far it will take you.

9. They reciprocate praise (and take blame). 

When a likable person is praised for their work, they typically have a response like this: 

Thank you so much! However, I’d like to emphasize that this was a team effort. I played only one small role in hitting this goal. Jen, Sam, Mike, and Kelsey … you were all crucial to making this happen. And we wouldn’t have done it without you.

In other words, they give credit where credit is due. When they’re recognized for a success, they shift the praise toward everyone else. They give praise and empower people without expecting anything in return.

Conversely, when the shit hits the fan, they aren’t afraid to take the blame.

A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit.

– John Maxwell   

In fact, that’s what HubSpot Sales growth marketer, Anum Hussain, did when a $500,000 project went downhill very, very quickly. 

She immediately took the blame for the mistake. As a result, everyone forgave her, which actually strengthened her relationships. This psychological effect is known as The Pratfall Effect, which we touched on earlier.

Action Step: Adopt The Pratfall Effect.

Was a project screwed up that you had a part in? Or did you directly screw it up? Follow the step-by-step process highlighted in this piece about The Pratfall Effect:

1. Admit your mistakes

2. Fix your mistakes immediately

3. Send a post-mortem analysis on what went wrong … and how to prevent it in the future

Read more about how Anum Hussain admitted the failure of a botched $500K project, which actually strengthened her relationships.

Summary: 9 Habits of Insanely Likable and Charismatic People

As a quick summary, here are the 9 habits of insanely charming and charismatic people: 

1. They are empathetic

2. They are humble

3. They are vulnerable

4. They have a sense of humor

5. They are present

6. They are genuinely interested in EVERYONE

7. They avoid social narcissism

8. They are generous and altruistic

9. They reciprocate praise (and take blame)

  Go to our website:   www.ncmalliance.com

How to Be Charismatic: The 9 Habits of Insanely Likable People Written by Scott Tousley If a conversation ends after “So what do you do?”