#nothing more wonderful than reciprocated gay love

[hag-lad]

👏👏 GET 👏 A 👏 ROOM!!!! 👏👏

[k-s-morgan]

Hey K, have you seen the controversy around Hugh Dancy’s answers to hannigram-related questions at the Fan expo? Some fans are mad saying he’s a Hannigram denier but I’ve been in this fandom for 11 years now and honestly, reading his answers, he’s still saying the same stuff he always did though? So I’m a bit confused as to why people are angry with his answers?

He always acknowledged they loved each other, that it was a romance, but platonic. Also, I think he’s got a very British sense of humor and is sarcastic and ironic a lot and was never really into discussing hannigram as an openly gay romance, but more so because he is a literal guy in the way he communicates. Tons of Brits are like that. Especially actors, they’re not keen on doing fan service or saying what people like to hear. Mads on the other hand, loves enticing the audience and talking about Hannigram the way they want to hear.

All in all, maybe it’s bc some of these people are new to the fandom, but I literally think that this was just Hugh being Hugh and he gave mostly the same responses as he’s done in the past. It’s a mix of his sense of humor and the tone of the fan expo which is light and not necessarily a proper interview where he’d be more serious and give long answers.

Overall, what do you think?

Hi! Yes, I know a lot of people were unhappy with Hugh's responses - I'm not watching the fandom as closely as I used to, but I'm still keeping an eye on it.

I agree with you in that I heard nothing new. In my opinion, the problem lies in the reputation of 'Hannibal' fandom. We're known as a (mostly) cozy place where the biggest M/M ship is canon and actively supported by cast, writers, and the director. They all said so many wonderful things over the years, things that keep being repeated and are taken as a fandom Bible.

That's why people might still be unpleasantly surprised when they hear Hugh's reserved, distant replies, or Mads' weirdly shallow answers, or Bryan's ideas that are all over the place.

The truth is, ten years separate these people from their work. Hugh in particular hasn't even seen S3 as a complete product, at least from what I lasted heard. Besides, they all have been inconsistent even when the show was airing - Hugh has an interesting habit of saying different things depending on what kind of interview he's giving and who he's with. As an example, in the commentary to S3, he agreed with Bryan that Will was jealous of Bedelia and snapping at her because of it, but then later, he said Will disliked Bedelia for basically being a bad person, with jealousy being unrelated to it.

I'll be the first person to admit that some of Hugh's (and others') answers make no sense or contradict the show, but over the years, I got very used to it, to the point where it doesn't faze me any longer.

Hugh thinks it would take Will 7 season to fall in love with Hannibal, even though 7 seasons haven't been in the plans for over a decade (as Bryan has settled on 5 ages ago), and Will's silence to Bedelia's question and his further choices clearly meant to show he reciprocates? Ok. Hugh things Will's feelings for Hannibal are unrelated to his feelings regarding his own darkness? Fine - at least he acknowledged Will is dark because sometimes there are some denials about it. He thinks Will's decision to betray Jack and Alana and get a bunch of innocent people killed has nothing to do with his love for Hannibal? Lol, but all right.

I don't believe S4 will ever happen. Now, if it's announced, and then I keep hearing the stuff I really don't like, I might get worried, but as it is, I just save the things I agree with and ignore the rest :D The show is over, and we are all invited to come up with our own version of Will and Hannibal's future life. I'm also absolutely certain that we, passionate fans, know the show much, much better than people who were involved in it a decade ago. I mean, if I finished writing a fic 2 years ago, then a reader who just read it will probably know it better than I do at this point. It's natural.

Also, during this reunion, so many wonderful things were said, too. About Hannibal inviting Molly 'for dinner' and Will describing him as a 'therapist' to her, Hannibal urging Will to lose at least a dog or two out of the thousand when they are on the run, Will being annoyed by Hannibal's fussy kitchen habits, etc.

Basically, I don't think we heard anything new or bad. Some answers might have been frustrating, but the good still tops the bad, in my opinion - and the bad isn't all that relevant.

[joaniscruzing]

stars between us - ch.6 - h.c

HELLOOOOOOOOOOO before we get into this, i'm letting all of you know that there will only be two more chapters for this! unfortunately, this story does have to come to an end at some point. (i hate that too but don't worry i'm more than open to another series with this cutie) there's still time to be on the taglist for this though!!! comment to be added!

song reccomendation for this chapter: sorry sorry - towa bird

summary: you and hazel talk after your exchange on the bus. you visit her house after school.

contains: angst, kissing, tackling, fluff, fighting, cussing

For the rest of that Sunday, you contemplated just how you were going to fix things with Hazel. You decided to go all out though. At least, if Hazel never wanted to see you again, you could go through it knowing she knew how you felt. You had managed to get her phone number during the weekend, so you texted her, asking to meet about half an hour before school started the next day. Lucky for you, she responded with a simple thumbs-up.

That whole next night, you laid awake, thinking of how you were going to tell Hazel how you felt. You knew you were going to have to prove to her how much you cared for her, and how whatever you had with her was genuine, and not experimental, like she may think. You ended up buying a 10-pack of lighters in her favorite color, so that she could set off her bombs as she wished. You waited in your car the next morning, waiting to see Hazel’s car. At least ten minutes passed, making you wonder if Hazel stood you up.

Almost all hope had been squeezed out of you, as your head was laying on the steering wheel, when you heard a tapping noise on your window.

Hazel.

You motion for her to give you a few seconds, so you could get out of your car, and of course, get the lighters.

“These are for you,” you say, closing the car door behind you. You see a huge smile immediately take up her face, to which she gets rid of mere milliseconds later.

“You said you wanted to talk. This isn’t talking. You really think bomb supplies is going to make me happy?” she huffs out.

“No. Hazel, I thought a lot about yesterday. And I’m here to tell you, I enjoyed it when we were flirting the other night. And I really wanted to kiss you. Because I like you, Hazel. I like you a lot. I like when you ramble about god-knows-what because you feel like you need to say something, and I like when you talk about making bombs. I love it when you smile, because you have the most genuine smile in the world. And I hate that I may have made you feel like I secretly don’t like you, because, really, it’s the opposite.”

“You like me?” Hazel said softly. “You’re not experimenting with me, right.?”

“Hazel. I’m literally gay.” you hold out your arm to show a bracelet with your pride flag on it.

“Oh. Sorry about assuming that about you.” She says, a small chuckle escaping her after.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Hazel.” You pull her in for a hug, to which she reciprocates.

“I think we should just stay friends though. I think, if we started something, it would be the start of the end for us. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.” Your heart drops, but at least you’re talking with Hazel again. And that was all you had wanted. Even if Hazel wouldn’t be more than a friend to you, it really was all you wanted.

“I get that. Don’t even worry about disappointing me.” you reply, strangely with no tears in your eyes.

“I do want to get it straight with you. I do have feelings for you, I think. I just don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

“Hey, I get it. I don’t want to lose you either.”

“You should come over after school today!” Hazel suggests. “Maybe we can make some bombs or something, or we could play a board game, whatever you want.”

“Yeah!” you answer, nodding your head, “I’d love that. More than anything.” The two of you make your way into the school, catching up from the day before, almost as if nothing had happened. The two of you had lunch together, stomachs in pain from laughing so hard.

You never thought you would have this deep of a connection with someone.

You and Hazel went to her house after school, dropping your bags at Hazel’s room. You engaged in a (very intense) game of UNO with her, causing the two of you to scream at each other.

“You little bitch! Making me pick up four again?” Hazel exclaims, flipping you off playfully.

“Well that’s what you get for choosing the color that I had NONE of!” you yelled back. Hazel threw her cards to somewhere in her room and began tackling you as payback. You tried, with all of your might, to get her off of you, eventually being able to pin her down. However, Hazel, with a quick burst of energy she’s able to get again, is able to escape your grip and pin you down again.

“Looks like I won,” Hazel says teasingly, still on top of you.

“Cheater.” You see Hazel’s facial expression change, soften from a huge, elated smile, into a smaller, softer one. Her voice gets lower.

“I think I want to kiss you right now.” You’re in such shock, yet so grateful at the same time.

“Then do it.” you answer quietly. “Kiss me, Haze.” And she does. She bends down and kisses you, sending electricity through your whole body. Your hands hold her waist as the two of you continue kissing. After ten or so seconds, she pulls away.

“I was wrong. I think we can be more than friends.” You sit up, putting your hands on Hazel’s shoulders.

“I think so too. And if we decide otherwise later, I’m more than willing to stay your friend.” The two of you make out for the rest of the night, and nothing more. You and Hazel agree that you both want to save anything more for after your first real date.

To be honest, you wouldn’t care either way.

You felt happier than you had been in a long, long, time.

taglist: @at1nyzen @slaughtercarrie @sophia2414 @canmargesimpson

[eds6ngel]

another idea: reader going over to robin and vickie’s with steve for dinner one night, robin talks to reader about how good reader is for steve, little bonding moment with robin, and reader starts to feel deeper love, then fluff with steve and maybe a reciprocation of feelings? I think that’s it for now, but you don’t have to do any of them! thank you so much for writing the series, its soooo good and I can’t wait for any spin-offs!

hi my love!! i started off with this one as it goes in the order i'd like to tackle my asks in! i changed it up slightly (not too much), so i hope you enjoy!! ♡

warnings: dad!steve. singledad!steve. 90s!au. fem!reader. use of y/n. swearing. kissing. a lil bit of making out. allusions to sex. pet names. food mentions. r is mentioned as unlabeled (so you can assign the label according to your identity!!) r being an ally. fluff. comfort. love confessions!! [2.3k].

full 'when i kissed the teacher' masterlist.

“Babe?” Steve asks you, currently attending to the dishes piled in the sink from your beautiful handmade soup the two of you had for lunch. Alena was currently staying with Jonathan and Nancy, having a sleepover with her friend Ashley, which meant you had the place to yourselves.

“Uh huh?” you reply, not tearing your eyes away from the very intriguing book about the psychology of the human mind.

“You’re accepting, right?”

The question draws you away from the paperback, looking behind you to where Steve was scrubbing away at a green bowl, placing it neatly on the drying rack. “Yeah, I would say I am. Why?” The question seemed out of the blue, almost unordinary for him. It’s not like you had an issue with said question, it was just the timing that was confusing.

“Just… I really hope she doesn’t kill me for this,” Steve mumbles to himself, just loud enough for you to catch the tail end of, “You know Robin, she’s uh… She’s a lesbian, had a girlfriend for nine years. That’s okay with you… right?”

You smile, “Of course it’s okay. It’s more than okay. People can love whoever they want to love.” You were very passionate about this topic. You hadn’t particularly labeled your own sexuality, but you were striving for the ones that didn’t fit into the heteronormative society to have as many rights as you did. You frankly thought it was stupid that they didn’t already, and that as long as relationships are consensual and healthy, anybody of age should be allowed to love and potentially have sex with whoever they wanted.

Steve sighs out, chuckling lightly, “Oh thank God. I was so scared for a second.”

“Babe, if I didn’t support gay people, I shouldn’t even be deserving of your time. Besides… I’ve been to a few protests in my life,” you smirk, quickly looking back down at your book to leave Steve standing there in shock.

“You’ve been to protests?”

“Mhmm,” you hum, “College is a wild ride babe. You end up doing things you never thought you would ever do.”

“Huh… Anyway,” he shakes his running thoughts off, “I was asking because I was wondering if you’d like to go on a double date with them. You know, me and you, Robin and her girlfriend Vickie, that sort of thing?”

“Of course!” you happily agree, “When were you thinking?”

“Well, I’ll have to check with the girls, but since Alena isn’t back until tomorrow evening, I was thinking we could grab lunch somewhere tomorrow afternoon?”

“That sounds great babe! I’m totally down.”

He puts the final dish on the rack, walking up behind you and placing a tender kiss on the crown of your head, “Great, let me just give them a call, see if they’re down too.”

“There’s nothing good on this menu,” Robin whines, “You couldn’t have chosen a better restaurant, Steve?”

The four of you were squeezed into a booth of a small sandwich shop on the outskirts of Hawkins. Steve had his hand on your thigh as he scanned through the menu to the right of you, Robin and Vickie sat opposite.

Steve scoffs, “Just because you’re an extremely fussy eater, Robin. Everyone else here seems to be fine with the menu. The menu’s good, isn’t it, babe?” His question holds a slight waver of uncertainty, his best friend making his insecurities come out.

You take a quick look up at Robin over the top of your menu, smirking away as you pretend to cringe, “Well…”

Steve’s eyes open wide as he thinks he made the biggest mistake of his life, you having to quickly put a reassuring hand on your shoulder to calm him down, “I’m only kidding babe, it’s wonderful.”

“Well, according to someone it isn’t,” he narrows his eyes at Robin, her sticking her tongue out at him. You and Vickie give each other a look, as if you were both mothers parenting your immature children.

The waiter soon comes, Robin ordering a plain chicken sandwich, as suspected, Steve a ham and cheese toastie, Vickie a cheese and salad sandwich, and you deciding on a pulled pork sandwich.

“So,” you begin to start the conversation back up, “I’ve heard the two of you have been together for nine years. That’s incredible!”

Vickie holds Robin’s hand in hers on top of the table, the other leaning against her cheek, “Yeah. Almost at the nine year anniversary. You know, it took Robin two years to ask me out. She had a crush on me since the start of ‘86, took her until the Spring of ‘88 to make a move. We were both just blubbering messes up until that point. She finally asked me out, we had our first date, and then the rest is history I suppose.”

“So, just like me and Steve,” you giggle, Steve squeezing your thigh as he smiles down at you, Robin noticing how in love her best friend looks. “Always the whole mutual pining game, huh?”

“Apparently so. After the earthquake happened here a decade ago, we had to help out at the school for anyone affected,” Vickie explains, “Well, Robin and I got put on making PB&J’s, and I got so rambly and nervous in her presence that I buttered both pieces of bread with peanut butter.”

“Yeah, I was sorting clothes, watching the two of you be all cutesy and shit from across the room.”

Robin lets her mouth hang open, “You were watching that day?”

Steve nods with a grin on his face, “Uh, yeah? My best friend talking to her crush who she wouldn’t shut up about for months? And the two of you laughing and getting along? Of course I was watching.”

Vickie sighs happily, “I’m trying to think of some questions to ask the two of you, but I think we know every detail of your relationship.”

Robin raises her eyebrows with a smirk next to her girlfriend, “Oh yeah. Every goddamn time we saw him. ‘She called me handsome.’ ‘She’s just so pretty.’ ‘What am I supposed to do?’ Over and over again. It was constant reassurance, trying to encourage him to ask you out.”

“Just to let you know though,” Vickie points at you, “We did not encourage him to kiss you and therefore lose your job. We take absolutely no responsibility in that.”

You brush her off with a wave of your hand, “I mean, it didn’t end up so bad in the end. I mean, no insult to Hawkins or anything—”

“Babe,” Steve interrupts you, “We’ve all grown up here. You can insult this place however you like.”

“I don’t like to be rude though honey, you know that!” you laugh as Steve presses a kiss to your cheek, Robin and Vickie giving each other a knowing look, “Okay, fine. Just to preface, I loved the kids I taught, okay? Nothing wrong on their part. Just… some of the teachers were extremely mean in the staff room, some parents were just absolutely awful and the place itself was just… I dunno, something felt off.”

“Yeah, because it’s a piece of shit,” Robin truthfully states, Vickie jabbing her lightly in the ribs, Robin letting out an “Ow!”

You giggle, “Yeah, it kind of is, I guess. At least in comparison to Ernie Pyle. I suppose parents take their kids education a lot more seriously there. The student population is mostly made up of ethnic minorities from disadvantaged backgrounds, so the parents want to give their kids what they never had growing up. Plus, I think it’s around 90% of the teachers already have at least three years of prior teaching experience. It’s one of the reasons they took me on actually.”

“Well, I’m glad you got your happy ending. Perfect relationship and a perfect job,” Vickie points out, “Seems like a total win.”

“Yeah,” you look up at Steve lovingly, “It was.”

You had all enjoyed your meals, no matter how adventurous your selections were. Before you all got ready to leave, Steve excused himself to the bathroom, Robin sipping the final bits of her strawberry milkshake. “I’ve never seen dingus so in love before. I imagine you must get fed up with how much he says it.”

But, that’s the thing: he’d never said it. You weren’t gonna critique him on that, you were happy to take things as slow as possible, but there was that lingering thought in the back of your mind that maybe he wasn’t as in love as you were. And you didn’t want to scare him off by saying those three words if he didn’t feel that confident in the relationship yet.

“Actually, he hasn’t said it yet…” you let out.

“What?”

“Are you kidding?”

The two girls sit there in shock as you shrug it off. “No, you have to be lying,” Robin says, “Dingus has been in love with you since… well, forever!“

“Yeah, my love’s not kidding,” Vickie adds on, “I’m pretty sure he told us after you two did the Christmas Fayre together.”

“Probably even alluded to it before that.” Robin looks you in the eye, “You do love him, don’t you?”

You nod, “Of course I love him, Robin! I just don’t want to say it, and then he doesn’t feel the same—“

“Y/N, I’m telling you,” Vickie interrupts you, “He is 100% definitely in love with you. I know that for a fact. We both do.”

Robin nods, making you lean back in your chair and pinch the bridge of your nose, “Why won’t he say it then?”

“Y/N,” Robin starts, “The first girl Steve ever said ‘I love you’ to was Nancy Wheeler two weeks into their relationship, and they broke up a year later. The second was Alena’s mother who walked out when her daughter was a few months old, leaving Steve alone with a child to raise by himself. I think he’s just scared to say it in case you leave, since that’s all he knows.”

Vickie nods along, “But, if you say it first… I think that he might calm down a little. Realise that you are the one taking initiative.”

“Just say it…” Robin says softly, “What else have you got left to lose?”

But, you could have a lot to lose. What if he was just saying it to Robin and Vickie and doesn’t properly mean it? What if you tell him and he doesn’t reciprocate? You’d lose your whole relationship.

You have no time to think as Steve re-appears, reaching for his denim jacket the other side of you, “Right, we ready to go?”

Robin and Vickie smile at you, giving you a look as they begin to stand, collecting their belongings as the four of you head out the main entrance of the shop.

After bidding farewell to Robin and Vickie, Steve drove you back home, him having to clean the house for when Alena got home, and you having to prepare resources for your class tomorrow.

He pulls up to your apartment complex, leading you to the entrance as always, like the gentlemen he is.

You grab his hand, Steve noticing that it was slightly shaking wrapped around his, “Um… Steve? I just want to say something before you go.”

He simply stares back, you taking it as a sign to continue talking. You let out a breath. It was now or never.

“I understand that you’ve been wanting to take this entire thing slowly, and I get that. But, I just want to reassure you that I am in this for the long run. I love how you treat me, and care for me. I love the dates you take me on, they are so varied. I love how kind, and caring, and slightly stupid you can be sometimes. And I guess what I’m trying to say is that… I love you.”

You can audibly hear how his breath hitches in his throat, your brain instantly taking that as a mistake, “But, don’t feel as if you need to reciprocate or anything, because I don’t want to pressure you into doing that. I just needed to let it out—”

Your rambling is stopped by Steve’s lips crashing into yours. You can’t help but let the slight moan slip from your mouth as he deepens the kiss, your hands wrapped around his shoulders as he cups your cheeks. Before the kiss can escalate, Steve pulls apart from you, leaning his forehead against yours as he whispers back, “I love you too,” a goofy smile gracing his features. “Shit, I was just so scared to say anything in case it made you leave, as that’s what usually happens whenever I say those words—”

It’s now your time to interrupt him with a giggle, “I know baby, Robin kind of told me everything.”

He shakes his head, “God, I hate her. Always revealing secrets about me.”

“Damn,” you huff, “Maybe I should hang out with her more, get more juicy details about you.”

He leans back, raising his eyebrows at you, “Absolutely not. I’ve revealed way too much of my life to her.”

You both laugh, “You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington.”

“I love you too, Y/N L/N,” he replies, leaning in to kiss you once again. You melt into the kiss, Steve swiping his tongue across your lips, asking for permission to which you accept, opening your mouth and letting his tongue slip in, the lingering taste of his sandwich invading your senses. The two of you moan, you pulling back to catch your breath, realising the two of you were technically stood directly next to a busy road. “Amy’s out with her boyfriend today… So, I have the apartment to myself…”

Steve looks down at his watch, before turning his gaze back to you, smirking and seductively replying, “I think we have time.”

i hope you enjoyed!! i will get to the rest of your asks (and everybody else's) tomorrow and during the course of next week!! ♡

taglist: @livsters @bakugouswh0r3 @nix-rose @ihatepeanutss @cats00089 @suitelif3 @clincallyonline17 @crowssixof @starkeylover @eris-rose-86 @frostandflamesfanfic

[f0gman]

Hi *taps mic*

I’m gonna try to debunk the theory I hear often of “maybe batjokes is canon, but it’s only a toxic, twisted, obsessive version of love that Joker is doomed to and Batman has to overcome”

Of course, it’s all up to interpretation and no one’s opinion has the final say, but as a (cough, cough, hopeless romantic) gay guy, I think they have much more than that! I’ll explain.

1. Joker’s love isn’t perversion, but vulnerability

Most are accustomed to seeing the Joker’s infatuation as creepy. While that’s not unreasonable as he’s suggestive and clingy amidst Batman’s discomfort, he doesn’t seem to expect anything to come of it. It’s his way of coping with strong feelings that’ll never be reciprocated; he knows they won’t be acknowledged. 

And he doesn’t seek to violate Bruce, but rather to accept violence as a way to satisfy his needs. Yes, it’s masochistic, but it’s also consensual. He enjoys the feeling of being vulnerable; he sees it not as defeat, but intimacy, and he knows Batman finds some satisfaction in it. If he didn’t, there wouldn’t always be hand-to-hand combat. He could knock him out quickly or shoot him with a tranquilizer, but instead he gives Joker exactly what he wants and receives the same in return.

It's often about stimulation when them: two unlike people with core similarities trying to best each other. Without the dire circumstances (due to Joker's crime) in early Batman content, their fighting was much more like sparring.

Secondly, given that love is not Joker’s choice, admitting his feelings is not a ploy to make him more intimidating or powerful. It’s his weakness. The way Batman treats him directly affects his emotions and everything, really. He’s distraught if Batman’s absent for even a day when he expects him to come.

Plus, in love is one of the most vulnerable things he can be. Pure obsession doesn't demand understanding and empathy out of your enemy. It wouldn’t wonder for decades what made him as broken as you. It wouldn’t long to see him with his defenses down, for once not shutting everything out.

For Batman, it wouldn’t amount to hours upon hours of trying to understand and trying to find out why his enemy is broken, as if there's a missing piece to making him better. It wouldn't care about his humanity.

A part of me thinks that Joker wants to believe it’s nothing more than an obsession. It scares him to think of Batman being unmasked—to see his human side. It would break the fantasy where he keeps his feelings...yet he knows they’re obvious and admits to them.

I don’t think he would claim it to be love if it weren’t true. It only awards Batman more homophobic praise when he beats someone who has “no right” to be attracted to him. It doesn’t make Joker more impressive in any way, maybe more repulsive to some, but it won’t further any of his goals.

At the end of the day, he grieves over him. Even while getting everything he wants in a fight, he truly wants Batman to love him. So much so that Harley,  behind her rose-tinted Joker glass knows it.

“He doesn’t love me. He only loves Batman.”

He’s driven crazy by it. But it isn’t love itself that makes him crazy. Joker, like Batman, is broken from trauma, and he finds understanding and excitement in someone else—the only one so far. Even a sense of solace, which is the hardest to come by. If you ask me, Joker being able to love is a human, redeeming quality.

2. Batman’s love isn’t inhumane, but empathetic

Batman is notorious for blocking people out. He’s the “master of fear” and treats his brain as if it’s a steel trap (constantly pushing himself to his limit). The fact is, he’s not sane in the way most people are; his trauma affects every part of him, and he realizes Joker is the same way. He obsesses over why. He wants to know what made him, what can change him, and what their relationship will become.

He sees someone that’s like him, yet Joker defies everything he believes as a person. It’s beyond frustrating and is the exact thing that keeps them trapped in the cycle. He takes his frustrations out in violence because Joker just won’t change.

I imagine the frustration would have started the moment he saw a glimpse at his human side. He saw him as someone just as messed up as he is, yet set apart because of what he does. Worst of all, he knows Joker wants him. At any moment, Bruce could have him, making it that much harder for him to fight and keep his morals. It makes him angrier.

But to end the toxicity, someone has to give.

Batman made this first step in The Killing Joke. He “came out” in a way. Between his denial to loving him and Joker’s fear to change, they were doomed to kill each other off in the end. Both resorted to violence to cope with their attraction and frustration, but acknowledging this was his first step toward ending the cycle. Not only that, but he wants a good relationship with Joker. He isn’t giving up on him, but changing the fight’s trajectory. He offers Joker rehabilitation to bridge the gap between them. Very possibly, that included rehabilitation for himself.

“You don’t need to be alone...we don’t have to kill each other. Let me help you.”

He says, “let me help you”, promising directly that he will stay by Joker’s side. He realizes that he’s likely the only one that can change him. He accepted this when he accepted their relationship, and despite everything Joker’s done, he put him before everyone else. There’d be no other reason to put him above Barbara, Gordon, or anyone in the bat family. If it was only about obsession and some perverted version of love, he wouldn’t have let his guard down to speak to Joker man-to-man. He extends his hand out of empathy.

“Maybe I’ve been there too."

In that moment, both had let their guard down completely; there was a moment of peace and respect between them. Many times, Bruce has been called inhumane or even unhinged for offering this branch, but it isn’t an inhumane thing to have done. He isn’t looking at all the wrongs and horrible things Joker has done and condoning them. He’s seeing past them to the human he is—to the man he once was, to the person he could have been, and what he will become. I think that makes him more human than ever.

The problem is, Joker didn’t trust his promise. He admits to it in his joke:

The point wasn’t that it's impossible to walk across the beam of light; Joker didn’t believe his offer of salvation to be impossible. The punchline was that the friend would turn off his light when he's halfway across. He’s afraid Batman would give up on (or even trick) him before he reached the “promised land”. He saw how effortlessly Batman jumped the gap, and knowing he can’t reach it as easily, he doesn’t dare hope that he’ll hold out for him. Even he is tired of pretending. He goes as far as to apologize.

Of course, this isn’t the only batjokes timeline. My point is to say that despite everything they’ve done to each other, and all the pain they’ve inflicted, there is real, genuine love beneath it. In the end, they’re both human, and they can bring out the humanity in each other. They could become so much more.

Would they overcome their differences enough to be in a relationship? that’s an even longer post. but you bet your ass I think so 👍

[castlebyersafterdark]

honestly, the fact that noah is a sore loser is for me the no.1 byler endgame evidence hahahah

niche i guess unless you actually follow or pay attention to him, so ofc anyone who blindly hates him wouldnt know. but that boy? THAT boy? who gets angry losing some stupid game? is THIS happy with s5? and you think will isn't getting served some freshly squeezed mike wheeler for keepsies for LIFEEEE? bitch, come on. get. real.

😆 (i mean ofc he would still be obliged to do the job but he wouldnt be making such a fuss of it all, if he didnt like it. ya know. kinda like... dont say it... millie)

This is a good point!!! I honestly honestly think that Noah wouldn't do us all dirty like this, going online on his little bedside tiktok chat seshes acknowledging Byler so much and being giddy about it if his baby, his pride and joy William Byers wasn't getting the boy. That would be really weird especially as a young gay guy who understands fandom? Noah "I'm the happiest I've ever been" and the double triple quadruple meaning to that admission. He's gotta be winning this thing!! He's getting the perfect happy ending. He and Finn have said the show ends perfectly, their characters get a happy ending - especially Will. WHAT other ending is fitting for Will to be honest??? Oh, he's alive and the evil is defeated. Yall, that applies to any character.

Will is in love. Will's gotta get his love reciprocated to have a satisfying arc completion, because there's something to root for there. YES - the supernatural, the upside down, Henry's whole deal, and he's got a more major role in that than others... but defeating Vecna and restoring peace to Hawkins is also the goal of every single other main character in the series. There are individual motivations as well for everyone. WHAT is Will's secondary arc? And it's not "oh, he's gonna come out and everyone will accept him." The thing is at this point in the show, not that his coming out story isn't important - but by means of knowing the characters, the most important ones in his life are Joyce and Jonathan and one of those people already accepted him. No one watching thinks for a second Joyce is an emotional roadblock. Who is??? Mike. Accpeting him and reciprocating him. Because Will doesn't believe it. Will doesn't believe he'll have romantic love. But we're to root for him now. So, we're intended to root for Byler.

Our fond little sore loser has nothing to worry about. He's raking in the protagonist love interest payoff glow up. He's excited and thrilled and invested in the story and the cast surrounding him. Not saying it too deeply either but we know what we're implying here with someone not seemingly so into season 5 and the diminished hype. Wonder why...

[tamlinrose]

My Personal Analysis of Aziraphale’s OFFICAL Playlist: A Journey

I have MANY opinions and interpretations of his playlist so bear with me. This playlist takes us through Aziraphale processing his feelings for Crowley in the context of his relationship with heaven and earth, and he ABSOLUTELY comes to a decision by the end of the playlist. I’ve already listened to this playlist like five times so here we go: (Crowleys May come later and I love his songs deeply but Aziraphales is the one who is really going on a journey with his music that we haven’t had a ton of insight into whereas I’m pretty sure everyone within a 100mile radius of Crowley knows he listens to Hozier and why lol)

What a Wonderful World

This song starts us off with insight into Aziraphales feelings about Earth. That makes sense, as he is the principality here and takes genuine joy in creation, the birds, music, food, and sensual pleasures. I think this was an intentional first song as it shows us Aziraphales core of love and intentions to fulfill his job as protector of earth, not just because of his duty as a principality but because it aligns with what he believes his purpose is as an Angel. The song ALSO speaks to his ability to feel love around him

“I see friends shaking hands/ saying’ how do you do? They’re really saying, I love you”

we know that Aziraphale can feel waves of love, and we also know a certain friend he has who probably gives off waves of love while having completely innocuous conversation. It’s pretty clear from the song that Aziraphale is aware of their bond being more than the words they’re saying to eachother, while also considering it just one of his reasons why this is a “wonderful world” I’d say this song is Pre-Armageddon’s during the “arrangement”

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

Oh boy, oh BOY this song. Translated, the main chorus is

“no I regret nothing/ not the good things that have happened/ Nor the bad, it’s all the same to me/ Because my Life, my joy/ today, it begins with you!”

I consider this a just barely post-Armageddon’t song. Aziraphale took stock of all he has to lose: his position in heaven (as tenuous as it was), his earthly comforts, possibly his life and makes a choice to save the world with Crowley for the sake of their relationship, which is a symbol for him of all that’s good in the world. After he’s made this choice and become a traitor to Heaven, he’s not sorry, he rejoices in his choice! Because choosing Crowley is choosing his moral values of protecting love on Earth, and he doesn’t regret relinquishing heaven, which doesn’t believe in that. This song is him celebrating choosing Crowley and the World

Earth Angel (Will you be Mine)

Now that Armageddon’t is out of the way, Aziraphale can actually process his feelings lol. Okay this is SUPER gay of me but because he associates Crowley with the World I think Aziraphale considers Crowley his Angel on Earth. Other than this song being a sappy af love song to Crowley, I also think it points out that although Aziraphale knows they have something more going on, he’s still hesitant to assume Crowleys feelings, and they are still not speaking openly about their connection. The song states

“I Hope And I pray/ that someday/ I’ll be the vision of your happiness”

I think this almost speaks to Aziraphale not seeing his affections as noticed or reciprocated quite yet, in my professional opinion because no one ever chose him in heaven so he can’t fathom it and has a bit of blinders on to the extent of Crowleys care for him.

Because of this I do NOT think they’re starting season 2 with openly acknowledged love. They’re still yearning hardcore

Fly Me to the Moon

More yearning post Armageddon’t lol, If I had a nickel for every time Crowley asked Aziraphale to run away with him to the stars and Aziraphale rejected him I’d have like, what, 20 cents? 25? Nevertheless Aziraphale is swept off his feet emotionally by the offers, although he’d never consider leaving Earth behind, because it’s the crux of his passion. Crowley does not understand his rejection wasn’t a RejectionTM just a notice that if they’re going to fall in love it should be in a place with tea and cakes and books, thank you very much.

“And let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars/ In other words/ Hold my hand”

Feelings

Yeah oh boy, I think this is after a big fight that they’ve been alluding to in the promos for season 2. Whatever it was about, this non-breakup breakup comes with some serious emotions for Aziraphale. Whether or not this comes before or after they’ve had any progress on admitting their feelings (I gotta sick feeling that the first acknowledgement they’re something more from one of them with no good resolution or chance for reciprocation will come out DURING the fight, which will really give them both something to chew on). This song is really just a classic break up song, but don’t lose hope! This is temporary.

“Feelings, like I’ve never lost you/ and feelings like I’ll never have you/ again in my life”

Angel Eyes

Wow, okay so this is definitely the anger/jealousy but still yearning post non-breakup breakup song. This song has more than the me quote that really pulls me, the entire narrative is being jealous and wanting to warn the “new girl” not to get to entranced by a man because he’s not what he seems, while still clearly being head over heels in love yourself. A key phrase:

“Look into his Angel eyes/ you’ll think you’re in paradise/ and one day you’ll find out he wears a disguise/ don’t look too deep in those Angel eyes”

In my professional opinion this song is a secret salty ode to Crowleys beautiful eyes, however the other lyrics make me think Crowley did something Aziraphale sees as a betrayal. Did he sell out Jim, join temporary truce with some demons to do it? Is that why Aziraphales lowkey jealous? Only July 21st can tell. Either way Aziraphale is PISSED (and still in love)

Feeling Good

Oh, OH Aziraphales feeling GOOD. They’ve made up in a BIG way (I would educated guess THIS is precisely the point in season 2 where if there was a kiss, we’d GET one)

Let’s just let the song say it:

“You know how I feel”

This song also emphasizes several earthly delights, birds flying high, sun in the sky, fish in the sea, blossom on a tree. Aziraphale is FINALLY experiencing the full combination of his love for Crowley and Earth in one, and it’s GOOD baby

Also:

“And this Old World/ Is a new world/ And a bold world/ For me”

Does this imply Aziraphale initiated???? I sure hope so

I Will Follow You Into the Dark

Okay shut up shut UP I love this song and it is so them it was already on my PERSONAL ineffable husbands playlist. Just listen to the lyrics:

The chorus:

“If Heaven and hell decide/ that they both are satisfied/ illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs/ if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks/ then I’ll follow you into the dark”

Classic hurt/comfort fic territory. They’re finally together. All is acknowledged. Aziraphale is ready to make action and leap for Crowley. My guess? This is the big confrontation with Heaven and Hell this season, I’d say like we got A Crowley mourning Aziraphales discorporation last season, we’re in for a real doozy of a role reversal this one. I’m ready to cry, out of happiness and hurt

“She told me “son/ fear is the heart of love”/ so I never went back”

Oh, we’re getting into it now. Aziraphale sees and RENOUNCES the love he was taught in heaven, and replaces it with his own love. While he’s been gearing up for this all season, I think this is the moment he gives heaven a piece of his mind (not just Crowley in an Aziraphale suit)

“The Time for sleep is now/ but it’s nothing to cry about/ cause we’ll hold eachother soon”

Oh boy, again, I get the horrible scent of a mutually sacrificial action. I smell choosing some perceived sad and horrible (but not so horrible with eachothe) outcome, I smell my angry screams at @neil-gaiman in the climax of season 2

Spread a Little Happiness

The resolution of the perceived sad and horrible outcome. The PR team knows we’re out here psychoanalyzing this playlist, so this song is purposefully vague. It’s basically “we won’t say anything in particular but try to be optimistic” I see an unexpected MiracleTM consequence of the self sacrifice in the last song that turns the entire scene around, this is our last hurrah, the final moments of the final episode of season 2:

“Even when the darkest clouds are in the sky/ you mustn’t sigh and you mustn’t cry/ spread a little happiness as you go by/ please try”

There will be an unexpected twist, I’m hoping this means they’re saved/ restated in their bodies/ whatever bad thing just happened is undone, or maybe there isn’t and there’s a silver lining:

“I’ve got a creed for every need/ so easy that it must succeed/ I’ll set it down for you to read/ so please, take heed”

Do you sense God? I sense God. Not to say Aziraphale and Crowley are God’s favorite children, but maybe they are, maybe they are.

Finally, remember this playlist spells “INEFFABLE” something’s happening between Aziraphale and Crowley, and it’s already written out in the stars, we just haven’t seen it yet. But Aziraphale certainly is going to learn where his feelings stand with Crowley

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Saw some anons talking about how they noticed Jikook so I thought I would give my perspective too. To be honest I am indifferent to Jungkook I've been for years. I don't hate him. I just don't find myself interested in him. Except when he is with Jimin. Now as someone that has been into BTS since 2014 and biased Jimin for that same time, I always noticed Jikook. It's impossible not to. At first I really hated how JK was so dissmisive of Jimin, placing him last in looks, pushing him and so on. You know. But Jimin always seemed to have a special love for JK regardless and that confused me. I grew up to understand Jimin and his relationship with JK as time passed though. By observing Jimin, I would get a dosage of JK too since these two are always together. Jimin would mention JK all time. Jimin would play with him in every behind the scenes. Jimin would always be touching JK head and taking care of JK. So I was set on "Jimin loves this dude too much", then I started paying attention to JK and his relationship with other members too see if he reciprocated and I came to the conclusion JK does appreciate Jimin in a unique way too. He is someone that is not good with words, he is sensitive but has trouble being open about his feelings towards other members. But record says he has been the most open with Jimin. I think he appreciates Jimin as a hyung that dotes on him and as someone that he clicks with on stage. But I can't see anything romantic feelings from his end or Jimin's end most of the time. I have wondered sometimes if Jimin had a crush on JK at some point. But most of the time I am set on them only being very close friends. Those type of friends you flirt with and things are not awkward because both of you are just so close and so in tune with each other that you know it's safe to do it.

So I don't think your Jikookers anons who were worried about Jikook being too obvious should be worried. Most people pay even less attention to their interactions than me. They don't even have doubts that Jikook is not real.

BTW regardless of my indifference towards JK I was happy to know there is a possibility of them enlisting together. Military time can be tough on anyone they will need all the support they can get.

*

Ask 2:

To me jikook is louder than a pregnant mare in labor. those fruity rainbow cakes can't even look at each other without being weird about it Peach. It blows my mind how people don't see jikook.

*

Ask 3:

Jikook were kind of my introduction to BTS as a whole in a way tbh. Jimin caught my attention first years beforehand but I wasn't ready to go down the rabbit hole like I knew I would so I didn't dive any deeper than him occasionally being pretty on my tl until I saw the hickey and mma/mama(?) black swan performance I was fully doomed from the beginning because it was one of the first things I saw and I'm nosey so immediately I was like "I have got to find out wtf is going on over there" but I wasn't about to be deep in they business without listening to the music cause thats weird to me so I listened to their music and it slapped like I expected and I finally started stanning which made me find out even more about them and nothings swayed my first impression that giving your bro a hickey is gay af

*

Ask 4:

As someone who loved jimin from the very first day I got into bts, I noticed jikook because I noticed Jungkook and jimin interacting but also from watching their content and finding YouTube videos pointing out their interactions more made me realise jikook but once I saw it, I couldn’t not see it anymore

***

(More about how people see and don't see jikook loool)

[ficklecat]

Hi! I really love all your Gai x Kakashi stories, they are very beautiful and you always develop their dynamic very well. 🩷💜

I also wanted to know, what do you think about a fic where Kakashi is totally in love with Gai, but he thinks Gai is very straight, so he thinks he won't reciprocate his feelings, however he later discovers that Gai is not as straight as he thought?

Oh thank you so much anon! Glad to hear you enjoy my fics :3

I've considered a one shot idea very similar to that honestly, but I've yet to write it! However...you've inspired a lil drabble so here ya go ;)

Summer is hard on a man who wears a mask, but that's not why his face is so hot.

The sun is beating down and he's shielding his eyes and he's watching Gai from the bank of the river and he swears, he swears he must be drooling too because there's no way it's that wet beneath his mask and Gai is just. so. hot.

Gai floats on his back in the sun and he’s positively shimmering, glistening like the water’s surface. He’s smiling and Kakashi feels his heart tug him to the water but he waits. He watches a little longer. Always, just out of reach.

“Rival!” Gai calls. “The water is perfect! Come cool off with me!”

But how, when Kakashi’s body feels on fire every time he looks at him? Gai, who never seems to have a clue at how he feels, who’s so very likely to be nothing more to him than his best friend - which is fine, that’s fine, that’s more than fine - but even still. Just one kiss would be enough. One caress. One breath and he’d be able to—

“Kakashi come swim with me!” Gai calls insistently. “You are positively melting over there I just know it!”

“Maa, I’m coming, relax,” Kakashi calls back. He looks around, satisfied the privacy of the spot they picked, and strips down to his underwear. He saves his mask for last, debates on whether he should keep it on to hide his blush, but carefully slides it off. A risk, but he’ll take it. It’s too hot anyway.

He wades into the water and sighs as it cools him, relief fresh and exhilarating as he makes his way to Gai, who is now back stroking down the bend. He comes up just close enough that he’s within reach of him but stops and watches instead, once again. He splashes him a little and Gai roars with laughter when he notices.

“See? Isn’t it lovely?” Gai asks genuinely and god he is just beaming, he’s gorgeous, he’s so very oblivious, he’s everything Kakashi wants, and Kakashi is just seconds from kissing him.

“Rival?”

“Ah. Yeah. Sorry. Just…it’s a little cold.”

“All the more refreshing!” Gai declares and splashes him playfully. Kakashi smirks and they boyishly chase each other around, pushing water towards each other, grazing bare arms and legs. Kakashi knows this is as close as he can get. That’s ok. He can laugh like this and smile and have fun and he can want to kiss him so badly and refrain, and it can be enough. No one makes him feel like this, no one will. He wonders if Gai feels the same in some way, even if it’s not quite what he’s feeling himself. Maybe he’ll ask one day. But not today. It’s too hot today. He’d melt today. He’d combust.

When they’ve had their fill of the river they emerge on the bank, breathless and dripping and giddy. They lay in the grass, drying in the sun, and Kakashi watches Gai as Gai sprawls out, preening, eyes closed.

“This is nice,” Gai says. Kakashi hums and closes his eyes himself now, unable to stare further without wavering in his resolve.

“It is good to be here with you rival,” Gai says. Kakashi smiles, warmed by more than the sun now. Rival is enough, he tells himself.

“It’s good to be here with you too,” he confesses. It’s quiet another moment before Kakashi cracks open an eye to see Gai hovering over him, a droplet falling just in time onto his cheek.

“Gai?”

“Yes!”

“What are you doing?”

“Well, I was thinking, I’d very much like to kiss you, if that’s alright!”

Kakashi blinks.

“What.”

Gai doesn’t waver.

“I said I’d very much like to—“

“I heard what you said.”

Gai grins.

“It’s fine if you do not feel the same!” he says. “But today is a day for seizing the moment! And I think we are both truly experiencing our youthfulness to the fullest! So I wanted to ask you!”

Kakashi is dumbstruck and feels like he’s staring directly at the sun, even with Gai blocking it. It looks like a halo around his wet black hair.

“But you’re…are you…?”

“Would you like me to kiss you, Kakashi?” he says it softer this time, gentler, more earnest. And Kakashi is burning again. He burns and burns and when Gai finally leans in and his lips touch his, when the touch becomes a kiss, when the kiss has hands and tongue and teeth, Kakashi is aflame.

In the summer sun, with Gai’s lips on his, Kakashi blazes. No cooling to be had for the flame, he lets it ignite within him, and swallow him whole.

[hazbincalifornia]

Hazbin Liveblog Episode 8

And the finale!

Oh yeah, I bet you'd like to see Alastor get fucked. /shot For real though, the animation here is so good.

Lilith mentioned again. Hmmmmmmmm.

Angel getting off the pole by flipping around like it's an actual pole is a nice touch.

I like Angel's little hat.

6/10 for going 'but if we don't win' during a pep talk, even if it's followed by something sweet. Cherri's unimpressed look is great though.

Oh, Niffty. I love not dying too, Vaggie. My favorite thing to do.

The animation on Alastor's little head-waggle is fantastic.

Alastor and Niffty moment, eeeee! Mimzy's right, he really is sweet if he actually likes you. He let her put a crown of roaches on his head and just laughed a little.

Oh, Angel is in love in love.

MISS BOMB...

THE CAPTIONS STRAIGHT UP CALL IT 'ROMANTIC MUSIC'

He's doing his best!!!!

Two dicks semi-canon, huh.....

Aaaaaand I'm tearing up at the soft ballad love reprise of More than Anything... love always matters, whether familial, romantic, platonic, or something in between.

And the kiss is lovely, not too quick but moving in at the same time and confident the other reciprocates. That's so sweet.

I never really noticed before, but why do all the exterminators have different horns? You think they'd all match either Adam (as the leader) or Lute (as the general that isn't Adam but is one of 'them'.)

The more intense Lute is, the more I like her.

So all exterminators are women? Wonder how that happened, if Adam decided he just wanted to lead an all-girl army or they were all made off one specific base.

Oh hey, cool outfits from Charlie and Vaggie! I like the Apple symbol on her mask/helmet thing.

Cherri looking butch and me looking Gay, mayhaps... I also love how Angel tore the middle off his suit and, although I can't quite tell from the style, hotpants. He's going down with his midriff exposed, by god.

Oh hey, Velvette isn't straightening her hair! Probably not worth it if they're laying low where nobody's watching. I love her dress too.

"Let the slaughter begin" I am going to rewatch that a few times. Just for me.

Niffty is definitely helping by stabbing the corpses. I love her.

I just noticed Charlie's in a cute little crown! It looks good on her, subtle but tasteful.

Ponytail Vaggie Fucks. And she WILL be fucking Charlie by the end of the week, I'm s. That's a look meant for eating pussy.

Adam coughing after taking down the shield... he's probably not used to putting in any real effort, just taking down helpless sinners like fish in a barrel.

"First man, next to die" is a banger of a line.

And the Alastor Swear tally is up to three!

"Jazz is for pussies" is nothing next to the first man line. Up your game, man, you're talking to a real wordsmith. Alastor's whole Thing is obnoxiously talking you to death.

I am like 90% sure whoever put in the 'edge-lord' line was snickering to themselves while writing it. He is, but we love him. (Viv's comic joking about how he's an edgy deviantart oc was just going around again the other day.)

I actually wheezed out loud at 'too much fucking red'.

Alastor absolutely pinned it- Adam's coasted for far too long and doesn't have any real, dangerous bite behind his bark. Alastor's probably fucked over dozens of overconfident pricks just like him.

See, 'radio is fucking dead' is a better line! Don't know how much sense it makes for Adam to know to say that since Alastor didn't really introduce himself as the Radio Demon, but still.

Oh. Oh he fucked up.

Alastor swear count is up to four, and the first one that's not carefully calculated.

On one hand: This is Bad. On the other, as a Favorites Getting Fucked Up Enjoyer: This is great.

I love how Velvette and Val seem to be watching Vox freak out over the actual screen.

And a thousand fic-writers cried out in anguish at Vagatha being decanonized. Was that ever canon or just a fanon thing?

You know, it makes perfect sense the fireworks thing from the pilot could be used in combat.

Yeah, you did walk right into that one.

Aaaaa big brother Angel is so good. Poor little eggy.

WAIT, ARE WE.... WAIT IS THE DEATH ACTUALLY GONNA BE PENT OR IS THIS GONNA BE A FAKEOUT? At least he got his kiss.

NOOOOOO

Oh fuck Charlie looks badass, and of course it would be like a magical girl thing.

I love how brutal Lute is- slamming her head violently against the table especially. There's no attempt to make the girl on girl fight 'sexy'.

Oh wait, she has a tail???? I didn't see it at first, but it's a good look on her.

Called Vaggie was going to pull a 'you only get to live because I let you'. Brutal that she lost her arm though, but deserved.

Okay, I actually shrieked out loud with laughter at 'I'm going to fuck you' and it went dead silent and cut to everybody's expressions and Angel has the fucking best smug grin. I sense as soon as I return to twitter at least five people I follow will have that as an icon.

"Wait, what did I say" and it goes right back to fighting. Comedy gold.

Niffty killing him is pitch-fucking-perfect. I never would have seen it coming but I also adore it. Niffty the king-slayer.

The switch between drama and jokes in this episode are really on-point. I do think Adam obliterating Pentious in half a second was... a bit much, though.

Charlie... they were never going to listen.

A reprise of 'happy day in hell' with a theme of 'the show must go on'... that's brilliant. I love Jeremy's voice, it's perfect.

Alastor looks completely fucking unhinged and I'm Looking Intently.

WHAT? WHAT????? Is he like..... replacement Adam now???? Or just proof redemption works?

So.... Lilith masterminding Alastor's deal not proven or disproven, but she did make a deal with Lute somehow to kill Adam. Iiiiiinteresting.

[alyosiuscreightonward]

Dear Diary.

For some bizarre reason I joined this group on the book of faces because it has a bunch of old gay folks who actually remember the late ‘70s and early’80s. For those who don’t know, running wild in them there streets. We all most likely had attend The Church of The Poisoned Mind. “Momma! Did you see him?! Down on his knees!!”

Anyway I was going about my business and then I saw a notification. I clicked on it. Ugh.

Of course it had to do with hooking up with a stranger. Then someone said, “I think the most important thing that we need is to be cared about.”

No shit, Sherlock. Didn’t Dr Joyce Brothers say that on TV once upon a time? Bitch, please. Yeah we all fucking want and need to be cared about Howsomever, do you think about yourself or just wanting something of someone else to care about you and your feelings?

Again, insert face palm emoji here. I’m sorry did I roll my eyes out loud?

Finding the person who has nothing to actually gain from this relationship, that would be a great. For someone to actually care about you, do you reciprocate in kind? Do you put in the work to make a friendship work?

Well here’s a hint: the band is known as The Moments and their one hit wonder is called, “Love on a Two Way Street.” They were simply telling us that love is a game of give and take but give selflessly and expect little or nothing in return.

I have friends from 2nd grade and others with whom I used to work with and we’re still friends because we put in the work. A text. A phone call or even an acknowledgment on social media.

The difference between those people and my people, is are they friends for the road or are they friends of the heart?

I’ve given up a lot of friends because they were more acquaintances than friends. I kept up for a while and then eventually I gave up and moved on. The same goes for your actual family.

I’m still going through some shit but I’m still learning how to take care of myself as I continue to do the work, I find myself doing better with my friends but I still keep my family at arms length and I make sure I don’t tell them everything about myself. “Yo, blank. It’s nacho bizness. Step.”

I’m not gonna tell them I’ve had a another breakdown of sorts. Why should I? They’ve got their shit to deal with and I’m not included. So, I may end up distancing myself from them all but I’m certainly going to give them my best Meryl Streep and make them believe that I care. Little do they know, I could not care any less than I already don’t.

Care about your own self first and foremost then we can talk about how to bring actual people into your life who you can trust and call your friend.

However I’ve been wrong before.

[crimsononiarataki]

He'd still yet to drop the 'bro' word on Ayato during their chat. He always called the other that, or 'Ayato, bro!' but he'd refrained from doing so during their entire exchange thus far. Either it was out of sheer respect, or another reason which would remain to be seen at the moment. He'd listen as the other man spoke, letting out soft hums as he did so, mostly to show he was, in fact, listening to the other as he spoke.

"It ain't so much that I don't think anyone is lookin' for it, and more so, why would anyone look for it? There are far better prospects out there for everyone than some Oni orphan,"

Aside from himself, the Oni didn't have anything he could offer a prospective mate. Sure, he had Mora, and he was strong, capable of protecting himself and others, and he could cook. He was really good at cooking, as could be seen with the dishes that Ayato would know the Yokai had prepared without the aid of Thoma, as they had that 'wild' touch that only someone like the larger male could offer. Even though there was no soy sauce, tofu based anything, or beans in the dishes, everything was flavorful due to the herb and spice mixtures he made and supplied the Kamisato Estate, and his own places with.

"Maybe one day I'll open it up but I'm afraid that if I try the person will leave."

He knew that wasn't always the case but the fear was very real. He would rather guard himself from that pain than admit to anything. Plus, he couldn't think of any reason why the person who he was being drawn to.. would reciprocate those feelings. Though, with how Ayato was talking to him, and touching him? He wondered if there was a chance there. Something... could potentially bloom between them but he was worried. Very much so, even.

"If anyone ever treated ya like a means to an end I might get genuinely mad at 'em. You're worth more than that, much, much more. Ya deserve real, genuine love, not someone who only wants ya for your status, power, and Mora."

He'd agreed with Ayato that the other man should be allowed to pick his partner. Be it man or woman, he didn't think it mattered. Of course, the elders would likely throw a fit should the other man choose another male to partner with, and eventually marry. He knew that gay couples were fairly common in Inazuma, but he was worried that his friend would be mistreated if he opted for another guy. If he was allowed to, he'd protect the other male, simply because he cared.

"I, do... wanna share it just a bit but I'm afraid to, Ayato. What if I confess to someone and they don't feel the same way? Or they just reject me outright? Fears like that are keepin' me from openin' up to the idea of lovin' someone. Because I don't want my heart to shatter into a million pieces. It wouldn't be right of someone to have to deal with that mess should it happen."

Not that he'd ever implicate someone into helping him heal. There was a lot more to his words than what was on the surface, and Ayato would catch those other meanings. The Oni had basically admitted to being in love with someone. Someone who was of a higher station in life than he was more than likely, though it wasn't as if he understood his own worth yet. He knew nothing of his family, or his true heritage. As Ayato pointed out that he had something on his face, he'd take a thumb and move to wipe it off.

"Here?"

If it was jam or jelly, he likely smeared it more than he cleaned it up, but he may grab a small napkin and dab at it afterward if that was the case. Or it was also possible that he simply smeared something on his face whilst trying to 'clean' up what may not actually be there at all.

"Mmm, maybe I would be surprised at who is lookin' but I also wouldn't know how to spot someone who was. I'd probably be more concerned that they were lookin' at someone like me rather than someone who it worthy of their love."

"You underestimate yourself, Itto. Your heart is as vast as the sea, and while you think no one is looking for it, those who are worth your time surely see it," Ayato said, a teasing glimmer in his eyes. "You may think that you’re just doing your duty, but it’s that very sense of duty mixed with your kindness that draws people to you. It's something many of us—myself included—admire."

He could sense the weight behind Itto’s words when he spoke of guarding his heart. Ayato understood the struggles that came with vulnerability, especially when expectations loomed overhead like a storm cloud. But Itto's tenacity, his willingness to help others, shone through. "You may be used to keeping your heart safe, but there’s strength in opening up, even a little,"

When Itto remarked on his lack of suitors, Ayato couldn’t help but chuckle softly. "You’re right; perhaps it's a good thing. I have little interest in those who would see me as a means to an end." His expression turned serious, the warmth in his gaze unwavering. "You deserve to choose love for yourself, just as I hope to. It’s not about politics or power; it’s about connection and mutual respect."

But it was Itto’s next words that caught Ayato off guard—the hint of a deeper sentiment nestled within the way he spoke about caring from a distance. The very notion made something flutter in Ayato's chest, a spark igniting as he considered the implications. "And perhaps," Ayato said, stepping a little closer, "you don’t have to keep it so safe. Maybe you could find a way to share it, even just a little."

Before he realized it, he had reached up, cupping Itto's face gently with his hand, his thumb brushing against the Oni's cheek. Despite the height difference, the gesture felt natural, intimate even. He searched Itto’s eyes, wanting him to understand the weight of his words. "I wouldn’t count you out of the equation just yet, Itto. You have so much more to offer than you realize."

He let his thumb linger for a moment, relishing the warmth radiating from the Oni’s skin. Then, with a feigned nonchalance, he pulled back, a sly smile creeping onto his lips. "Ah, it looks like you had something on your face—just here." He gestured to the spot on his own cheek, mimicking the gesture as if to deflect the seriousness of the moment. Ayato’s laughter was light, but there was a glimmer in his eyes that suggested a deeper truth lay beneath the playful facade. "But really, don’t forget that you are worthy of love, too. You might be surprised at who’s looking." He stepped back, maintaining eye contact, letting the moment settle.

[feastfic]

HI ITS ME AGAIN. THE GAY BOY.

I have this very specific idea and its literally so...

Imaginne Lord x havinga MAJOR crush on you. He just can't stop thinking about you and how small you are compared to him. He tries to keep himself level headed and go about things normaly but he Just Can't.

One day, you're helping him patch up from a scuffle he got out pretty battered up of and you accidentally blurt out that you love him and he just. Kisses you. Because FINALLY. AFTER SO LONG of trying to be level headed he knows that you reciprocate it so he takes his chace.

Sorry if this is too long omg. I swear im normal ab him

GWEHE MUTUAL PINING BABYYY I love this idiot so much bro <333

You were everything that he could've wanted in a soul to reap. And it should've been left at that. You should've just been someone he would've loved to play the game of the hunt with. Somehow, though, you'd managed to transcend that for him. He caught himself, time and time again, thinking about you. You were more than just a wonderful toy for him to play with until he tired of this game; you yourself were wonderful.

This was no time for him to be distracted by such things. He had no need for such things like thoughts like those. They'd only impede on his hunt. Yet he still has you haunting his mind, like a soul he'd claimed had somehow, in some way, managed to pervade his head, pestering him incessantly. And of all things for this theoretical soul to taunt him with, it had to pick you. You, you, you. He hated it, and he'd have hated you for how much he thought about you, if only you weren't so...astoundingly remarkable. It stupefied him. How had you managed to do this to him?

How had he managed to be able to come in close contact with you? Now you two met every few days. He'd long forgone trying to take your soul from you, though he still subjects you to his "games" every now and again (he won't ever tell you that they're supremely watered-down versions of what he really does. Something inside him would eat at him if he hurt someone as precious as you.)

Himself, though? Oh, he couldn't care less about what happened to himself. He was virtually unkillable, so what did it matter to him if he emerged from skirmishes tattered and bloody? He'd always be the victor nonetheless. Nothing else was as indestructible as him.

Care not as he did about the aftermath of his battles, he anticipated the aftermath of the aftermath. Initially he'd gone to you out of curiosity; how would you react to seeing him like this? (How the horror, shock and concern on your face was so intoxicating to him.) But he did it to sort out his own thoughts on you. How he felt about you quickly became pinpricks of new and confused emotions to an overwhelming drive. A desire, for you, you, only you.

This time he was more beat up than he'd ever thought he would be. That sorry soul had put up a hell of a fight — and how much he loved a challenge like that! He craved more people who wouldn't just run from him; those who fought back were something he got so incredibly hot for, second only to you.

And speaking of, there you were, just within sight. Just within reach of him. There was no need for him to limp, he was not one to feel or at least acknowledge his pain. And besides, he had something more than just his bloody body to show you this time.

You had known since day one that you were dealing with what could be considered the grim reaper in a demonic hedgehog disguise. But this time when you saw his form approaching you, you saw something between his hands. Glowing in violently bright colors, exuding light upon the Lord's half-closed hands and the bottom of his face. It was almost enough to distract you from his condition.

"What was it this time?" You stood up anxiously, meeting him somewhere in the middle as you stepped towards him.

"That's the thing. Look." And so Lord X lifted his hands to better show you the miniature star in his palms, how it bounced around to and fro in some invisible forcefield, like it were trying to find a means of escape. Its hue ranged from sparking electric green, to angry blood red. X's eyes caught it all, delighted at this spectacle. "You know what this is?" He didn't wait for an answer. "It's a soul from a fighter. Look at how much it tries to break free. So many others would just pace around."

You knew that this was the remains of a departed person, and so your heart painfully twitched at the sight. But it was so interesting all the same; you were sure that nobody else aside from Lord X himself had ever seen a soul in this state. He observed your reaction carefully, his eyes lidded as the soul's light reflected off your own. And then he smiled and crushed the spirit of this nobody between his hands, revelling in the echoing outcry of a person forever lost in an abyssal limbo, and the way you jumped back as you were snapped out of your trance.

Ah, right. You had something else to take care of. Well, someone. "Come on." You take the arm that is the least battered, tugging him into a kneeling position as you reached behind yourself back to where you originally had sat, pulling over a decently sized medkit. You were shaking; you'd done this so many times before with him, but you supposed seeing him destroy a person's fiber of being right in front of you...yeah, that shook you up bad.

X took notice of your shakiness, and the troubled complexion on your face. As much as he'd have loved to watch you so concerned over him, after enough times of this happening he knew that you valued decently tending to him. Which involved steady hands.

You stopped everything as you felt a soft and warm hand brush against one of yours, nearly dropping the stitch thread you were holding. Your breath caught in your throat and you shook your head to try and shake off your tension; but then the Lord's voice was low in your ear, and you felt your eyes sting slightly. He was being gentle with you — and after what he'd just done a few minutes ago you just wondered why.

"Just breathe." He urged you, and you could feel your racing pulse in his hand that held your own. "Get yourself settled first before focusing on me." You tried to listen to him, to do as he said. But the softness of his voice was so different from how he was normally brazen and gruff, that it almost scared you. And you didn't even know why.

Your hand closed around his, and you squeezed your eyes shut and breathed in deep. One minute passed, then two, then three. And finally you let out a sigh that made your shoulders fall; and with it, you'd stopped shaking. You reached for the bandages, and turned to face him.

As you focused on closing and covering his wounds, you were remarkably quiet, avoiding his gaze that so observantly watched you. Noting your lack of conversation; normally you were at least somewhat talkative.

All that came out of you was a soft, exasperated; "I love you, but you gotta stop doing this." It was under your breath, like you didn't want him to hear it. But oh, he did. He did, and he wanted to hear that out of you again so bad.

You thought your heart had sped up again, or that you'd started shaking. So you pulled back, and looked up to X to apologize before realizing that no — this time it was him. He looked utterly delighted, and like he were holding himself back from throwing himself at you. And oh, he was! After a second too, he wasn't able to stop himself from doing just that. His heart was pounding fast and hard against your chest, sending you into the most passionate surprise kiss that you thought you'd ever get. He hardly gave you time to react to anything. He'd waited what had felt like an eternity to hear those words from you; ever since he'd first cursed you for haunting his thoughts he'd wondered what it'd sound like. It was so much better than he could've ever imagined.

You were left nearly gasping for breath when he finally decided to pull himself away from you, your face hot and flush while X barked a laugh out at you. Weren't you just adorable, all blown back because of him. His muzzle was pulled into a wide and toothy grin, as he held your chin underneath a hand to keep your eyes on him.

"I love you too."

[starglow-xx]

hello! may i request headcanons for chuuya having a crush on someone who's dense? like he could ask them out in the most straightforward way possible and it would still go over their head?

yes, yes of course you may!

sorry this took so long! my computer was out of commission for abt a week (or two..??)

but this is also my birthday writing piece for chuuya!! (4/29/21) i even added a small drabble thingy in addition to the hcs for the occasion hehe

from where i am, it is about fifteen minutes past midnight so it’s officially chuuya day here!!

happy birthday chuuya i love you! you deserve the whole world and everyone is willing to fight tooth and nail to ensure your happiness! we love you! 💗💗

anyways, i hope you all enjoy this! i kinda had some writer’s block but it was still a lot of fun to write! there might be some mistakes, but i’ll scan over it again later. reader is gender neutral! have fun!

chuuya having a crush on a dense! reader

nakahara chuuya x gn! reader

im cackling somebody help him

he’s frustrated bc you can’t take a hint or a thousand but he can’t even be mad bc he’s whipped

“look at you all dressed up today, wanna go out later? my treat?”

“oh really? thanks chuuya-san! you’re such a nice friend. i’ll go invite the others right now, i’ll see you later!”

“...”

fast forward to later in the evening and he finds himself at a little restaurant with the black lizard + higuchi and akutagawa

sigh

in unison all of them go, “thank you for the meal chuuya-san!” (except aku and hirotsu are quieter & and gin just a nods hehe)

“no problem” (ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

gin only pats him on the back in sympathy

he spends a lot of time trying to think of ways to make it absolutely and undeniably clear that he has feelings for you

he always fails

“(y/n) i like you”

“i like you too chuuya-san”

“really?”

“mhm”

“t-then will you—”

“you’re a really great friend! and superior too”

“...nevermind”

“oh were you saying something?”

“nah, just forget about it”

tachihara is laughing in the corner of the corridor

dont worry, chuuya made sure to get back at him

chuuya’s been pinning after you for years and frankly, his failed attempts to woo you has lead everyone to the breaking point

and i mean everyone

yes, even aku

hell even dazai

but dazai also thinks it’s funny, so he doesn’t mind all that much

okay bye bye dazai-san this headcanon set isn’t abt you rn

PLEASE EVERYONE FEELS SO BAD FOR HIM

they knew even if he kissed you, you still might not get it

so they decided to help him

super secret mission get chuuya and (y/n) together is a go!

they’re still working on a proper mission name, don’t mind them

they had a super secret strategy meeting!

you can bet your ass that they nearly got nothing done

akutagawa & kaiji weren’t much help, neither was higuchi, mori, or elise

tachihara nearly got killed for a thoughtless comment

“just tell them chuuya-san!”

“i already fucking did you ass!”

gin, hirotsu, and kouyou were the most helpful !!

hirotsu and kouyou both agreed on the idea that chuuya should try courting with bouquets of flowers instead of flat out asking you bc they knew you found them pretty

(even if you don’t identify as a female, flowers are for everyone no matter gender or sexuality! so let’s normalize giving flowers to everyone <33 )

gin didn’t speak but she used cards to communicate

everyone knew that you weren’t stupid (you wouldn’t have survived in the mafia if you were) but they did know that you were only stupid when it came to all this lovey dovey stuff

i mean, if chuuya gave you flowers every so often, there’s no way that you wouldn’t piece it together at some point

right...??

but kouyou assured him that even though you wouldn’t get it right away, you’d appreciate the gestures and that he’ll stand out more

she even said that if someone gave her flowers, she would appreciate it, whether or not she reciprocated their feelings

it takes guts to be so up front with your feelings after all

gin and hirotsu only nodded with her explanation

once again, this only provoked a reaction out of tachihara

“what do you know gin? i get the old man and kouyou-san, they’re grown, but you? what do you know abt courting? or flowers? what are you a girl?”

akutagawa choked on his cough, higuchi on air, and on the other side of yokohoma at the ada, dazai is cackling

yes, dazai somehow placed a listening device onto chuuya’s hat and was listening in

don’t ask how, it’s dazai

“DAZAI GET YOUR BANDAGED ASS OFF THE COUCH AND STOP LAUGHING”

anyways

the next day, chuuya did what was barely discussed and for once, things actually started to look up

until they started look to down again

at first, it actually looked like you understood his intentions after he gave you a bouquet of flowers

literally everyone was leaning against the opposite hallway you two were in and then they got excited !!

especially chuuya !

but then your expression sort of changed...??

and then in their heads they simultaneously went, “oh no”

they knew that expression

it was very familiar when you tended to friend zone chuuya

but boy let me tell you what you said next made them facepalm and or make their jaws drop

“ah, so you really are friend zoning me huh chuuya-san; what a shame, i really did like you”

LEMME TELL YOU WHEN I SAY THAT CHUUYA WAS DISTRESSED I MEAN HE WAS DISTRESSED

you liked him??

him of all people??

he wasn’t complaining, no of course not, but he still couldn’t believe it

but that wasn’t what he was really focusing on right now

what in any form or language did it say he was friend zoning you?!

flower language apparently

chuuya chose to buy the bouquet of yellow roses, pink carnations, and yellow carnations bc he thought you would appreciate the brighter colors, and so that you’d remember them better (because remembering them, meant remembering him)

but ooh boy

altogether, they meant the exact opposite message he wanted to send

someone help him pls

“you see chuuya-san, yellow roses mean friendship, pink carnations mean gratitude, and yellow carnations mean rejection; sooo in a nutshell, these pretty much say ‘thank you for being my friend, but im rejecting you”

no one can tell if tachihara is crying or wheezing

and dazai is having the time of his life

yes, he started listening in on him again

and chuuya is just stunned

like speechless and unmoving stunned

is he just bad at this whole courting/dating thing?? it’s only been one day and of it and somehow he was the one doing the rejecting??

“thank you for the flowers chuuya-san, i’ll be going now; i’ll make sure to let this affect our friendship. i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you passed by the not so subtle group of people

“tachihara-kun..?? are you alright?”

just for context, he was leaning his forehead against the wall using his forearm

again, it was hard to tell whether he was crying or wheezing

“i-im okay (y/n)-san...i think c-chuuya-san has it worse than me”

“...okay..?”

BACK TO CHUUYA

he’s still frozen poor baby

but it’s okay bc after like 5 more seconds he’s chasing you down the hallway you were walking in

kouyou, with a knowing smile on her face, ushers everyone away towards the opposite direction

she received some whines (ahem, tachihara and mori) but silenced them by summoning golden demon

but it’s okay

if they run fast enough, they can see what happens through the security cameras

chuuya caught up with you and tried to explain everything but he was exhausted

emotionally, physically (bc since when did you walk that fast??), and generally just tired with the whole situation

he just wanted to call you his; was that too much to ask??

as explosive as he can be, he can be calm and collected too

and he really did try to be that way as he talked with you but it was very difficult at the moment

the dumbfounded and confused look on your face his face twitch with annoyance and his heart started beating faster bc god you were cute

BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT RIGHT NOW

thank goodness after what seemed like years, you finally somewhat understood what happened

you didn’t understand completely but it was something

The two of you stood in the middle of the unusually empty hallway facing each other, you with the bouquet still in hand. It was quiet as you and Chuuya assessed the situation.

You looked at him skeptically and he stared right back you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“...So you do like me Chuuya-san??”

“Yes”

“And you were trying to court me just now, not friend zone me??”

“Yes”

You got most of your questions out of the way, but there was something that you’ve been wondering about for quite a while.

“...So you’re not gay for Dazai-san??”

“Yes, im not wait—GAY FOR DAZAI?? THAT MACKEREL??”

Chuuya did a double take. What in heavens name made it seem like he liked that suicidal maniac?? Why would he choose him if he had you?

Like he would choose him anyways; or ever consider him as a possible romantic partner.

“Oh, so you are?”

“NO! I SAID I LIKED YOU DIDN’T I?”

“Well yeah, but I thought you liked Dazai-san too. As annoying as he is, he can be quite charming—”

He was out of patience at this point (nope definitely not because you were talking about Dazai who told you that?) and just decided to kiss you.

You immediately melted into the kiss and kissed him back with the same amount of love and feeling.

Letting the bouquet fall to the ground, you wrapped you arms around his neck and his put his on your lower back and brought you closer to him. After a few more moments, the two of you broke apart for air.

The two of you, slightly out of breath, leaned your foreheads against each other and just basked in each others presence.

Chuuya looked into your (e/c) eyes and asked you just a little bit above a whisper, “Now do you get my intentions and feeling?”

You blinked at him before breaking out into a grin, “Hmm I’m not sure; do you wanna do that again Chuuya?”

The red head only blinked back at you before rolling his eyes, a smile present on his handsome features, his heart fluttering at you using his name with the honorific.

“Dumbass”

Smiling cheekily at him, you pressed a kiss on his cheek and started dragging him towards the lobby to take a walk around the building perimeter, knowing that the two of you can’t be too far from work.

The way down to the lobby was mostly in comfortable silence until you said something that made Chuuya want to bash his head against the wall.

“You know, you could’ve just told me you liked me Chuuya. It’s not like I would’ve said no.”

Once again, as the rest of the more power mafia members watch from security cameras, it is hard to tell whether Tachihara is crying or wheezing of laughter.

omake !!

The two of you just started making your way around the building when suddenly a very familiar voice came from Chuuya’s prized hat.

“Chuuyaaaa!! It was about time you stopped being a chicken, Chibi!”

Removing his hat from his head, he started yelling at it not knowing exactly where the listening device was planted.

“TEME! HOW DID YOU—”

“And (y/n)! I would congratulate you, but I think I would rather offer you my condolences. Why him?! He’s just a slimy slug. OOH OOH how would you like to join me in a double suicide?! A shame it won’t be a lover’s suicide but it’ll annoy Chuuya so I think it’ll be worth it! ”

“YOU—”

“And please don’t kiss while I’m listening in. You made me lose my appetite! And it was such a shame! I was eating crab using Kunikida-kun’s money! Do you know what you’ve cost me?!”

“DAZAI YOU PIECE OF—”

“Ah! Kunikida-kun is here! I have to go!”

You can hear something is the background that vaguely sounds like, “DAZAI YOU WASTE OF BANDAGES STOP USING MY MONEY”

“DAZAI DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE IM NOT DONE WITH—”

*Click!*

The click sound from the hat revealed that Dazai disconnected.

Chuuya twitched and glared furiously at his signature hat hating that the voice he hated the most came out of it.

“Aww, I didn’t get to talk to Dazai-san”

Chuuya whipped his head towards you, a look of mock (or real) betrayal showing on his features.

You laughed at him before taking the hat out of his hands and placing it on his head.

He shyly looked away before muttering a thanks making you smile wider. Just as the two of you were about to start walking, a small explosion erupted from his hat; it was likely that Dazai made the listening device self destruct.

“DAZAI YOU BASTARDD”

At the Armed Detective Agency, a certain suicidal maniac hid from the wrath of his current partner as he thought about the wrath his old one.

“Hmmm I wonder if Chuuya would finally stop wearing his ugly hats if I blow all of them up...”

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[crybabyddl]

I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO REITERATE SOMETHING

Yes, let’s circle back to the beautiful performance of Edge of Great. More specifically the BODY LANGUAGE, particularly Julie and Luke’s, which I will be analyzing with gifs.

Exhibit A

Jealous Luke looks over at Julie and Reggie vibing

Julie is aware that she’s avoiding Luke, which she is doing so bc she realized her feelings for him thanks to Flynn earlier in the episode.

Since Julie has put the task of ignoring Luke upon herself even though she has no obligation to, she ends up failing her own mission. She sees Luke’s reaction to the lack of her attention.

She literally FREEZES. She’s emotionally worried to confront what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to manifest physically.

Exhibit B

It gets better y’all. After Luke finally has even a crumb of Julie’s attention, he beckons her over with his signature head tilt. This is important bc he did this with his longtime bandmate during the soundcheck of what would’ve been their biggest performance. If he feels comfortable enough using that body language with a girl he’s only known for, what, a week and a half(?) then you know this puppy boy’s got it BAD.

Julie is well aware that Luke is getting jealous. But in classic Julie fashion, she will try to tune it out instead of addressing it. Our wicked beauty doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just deny and avoid than potentially make things awkward, especially when she knows Luke would ask her about it at a later time.

The look on Julie’s face. Her eyes widen and the classic tight-lipped awkward smile is present. She’s literally saying “ok enough of that let’s get back to work doo doo doo” with her face. The way her body SWINGS back into performance mode as she faces the audience again. It may have been a split second, but when you’re deliberately trying to avoid looking into the dreamy (dead) eyes of someone you shouldn’t be crushing on, any amount of time feels too long. Plus, she knows Flynn is watching and doesn’t want her to lecture her (but she does anyway bc Flynn is observant and knows her bestie too well to let any action slip past her).

Exhibit C

Keep in mind; NONE OF THE GUYS KNOW WHY JULIE IS AVOIDING LUKE. Flynn, Alex, and Reggie have noticed the Juke chemistry, but it’s still too soon for them to get past the “we like each other but we’re too clueless to notice that we reciprocate” phase, so even though their respective besties know, they are still denying. Besides, Reg, Alex, and Flynn know better than to keep pestering if they want to keep their kneecaps. In reality they’re both smart enough to tell by this point, but for the sake of the plot and to make everything more adorably frustrating, Flynn has the collective brain cell under lock and key, leaving Juke to be like *dog tilting its head and making that “a-roo?” noise*

Anyway, Reggie notices Luke being snubbed after realizing that his extra dose of Julie time was slightly out of the ordinary. Luke is clearly concerned (look at his eyebrows and how his eyes travel from Reggie, to Julie, then to the audience to trying and get his mind off it and bring his focus back to the main goal; the performance.) If he can’t have the moment of connection with Julie that he so desperately craves, he’s gonna fill that void as best he can by connecting with the audience. >:’)

But Reggie’s trying to help Luke brush it off by conveying his reaction as ‘look at julie coming into her own! i told you she was a star! and you thought you were the lead singer? think again buddy this girl’s got you beat!’

But since Reggie isnt a master at hiding his feelings yet, especially around Luke, —who was able to get under his skin earlier (“girls, am i right?”)—Luke was easily able to see through that and interpreted what Reggie was saying as “look at julie go, she all in the zone. you’re literally making heart eyes at her get a grip you’re slacking lmao” (hence luke’s right eyebrow quirking at reggie like ‘dude seriously gimme a break u know i need attention like tinkerbell’) even though Reggie’s true message was a bit less harsh and more lovingly teasing, but it’s Luke, he sees things through his eyes and at his intensity, regardless of who it’s coming from. (This is one of the reasons why Luke comes off as selfish at times.)

Exhibit D

Poor Lukey boi can’t seem to catch a break today! Not only does Julie ignore him, then has a cute lil (platonic but it’s luke so it still makes him jealous >:P) moment, but now she has the AUDACITY to interact with Alex? The guy who was out learning Ghost 101 with this Willie guy instead of rehearsing with the band? What gives?! What’s he got that your moody ghost bf doesn’t? >:’(

He literally just watches, and even glances back in a way that, to me, screams ‘did i see that right? did i just see what i just saw with my own dreamy (but dead) eyes? say sike rn.’ \_(*_*)_/

Meanwhile, Alex pays no mind. I like to think that Alex is fully aware that Luke is an angry boy rn, but has learned to ignore it, especially this bc literally NOTHING happened. Either that or Alex has no clue and just truly thinks nothing of it and is having too much fun to think about Luke’s moody and childish behavior. Either way, Alex is just straight chilling and we love to see it *^_^*

Notice how Reggie is right there vibing with Julie and Alex. Luke feels a bit betrayed like ‘not you too! i know you were the first to turn on me but i figured since you’re such a golden retriever you’d be loyal and come back to my side!😠🥲’

Also; Luke approaches the rest of the group, wanting to be included in at least SOME of the vibing, but when Julie starts dancing and smiling with her buddy Alex, he backs up like

“you know what? nope. nevermind. not doin’ it.”

and the group’s like “i mean hey it’s your loss, but luke we want you to-”

“no, bc you chose to piss me off right in front of my face so no luke time for any of you! no cuddles, no hugs, no nothing! you made your bed, now lie in it and perish.”

Exhibit E & F: This is where it gets a bit interesting and theorized hehe...

Now we all know that this moment is just fucking ICONIC

WEOWH NEOW NEOW!!! WEOW NEHR NEHR NER-NER-NER NEHR NEHR NEOWHR!!! (wer nehr-nehr-ner-ner-nehr-nehr!!) WUEHNER-NEUHNER-NEHR-NEEOW-NEOWH! DLOOLOODDUH-DOODLAH-HOOBLUEH-NEOWHR-NEUEHR-NEEEEEEUOWRH!!!!

But hear me out– HEAR ME OUT!

What if... now don’t shoot the messenger who just so happens to also be the theorist... but what if...

WHAT IF!!! Luke didn’t!! plan this?!!!

Listen i know you’re probably thinking:

“Well uh Nicole, isn’t that kinda the whole point? It literally wasn’t planned until Charlie realized Madi was gonna be standing on the piano so he suggested the idea for the guitar solo to Kenny.”

And you’re right! But here’s the kicker:

What if Luke THE CHARACTER, just decided to do this as an “Alright that’s it! You wanna be like that? Well what if I just hit you with my super awesome radical totally cool wowza guitar skills & make a moment between us? Huh? What do you think about that? Hmm? HMMM???!!!”

He licks his lips & that to me read** like he was nervous (**read rhyming with bed just to clarify) so that means it could’ve been a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment thing.

In the second gif, you can see that Julie’s head is tilted, as if she’s a bit confused, but she’s also delightfully surprised.

Julie is quick to smile and scrunch her nose at Luke, something she does often. It tells Luke his impulsive action garnered a positive response from his favorite girl. Julie also starts to shake her head, but doesn’t go through the motion in full, which means she’s still a bit nervous to let her guard down. This is probably because she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he will do next. The lopsided smile mixed with the suave, gliding steps towards her probably brought her back to her daydream lol.

Luke’s happy bc Julie’s no longer ignoring him. He smiles like a GOOBER bc this chump is simping HARD for our Julie. So cute! :’)

Exhibit G

And hear me when I offer this:

What if Luke poofed the guys out???

I know, I know. It’s a bold claim to make. But the boys are special, considering they are a threat to Caleb (3 gay-variant himbos vs. a gay magician that could’ve been on broadway but decided to make some sort of deal with a devil so he just entertains capitalists who most likely sold their souls to get into the hgc which i will probably elaborate on in a future theory so dont do that bc im gonna lmao idc we all have big brains) So it’s not too crazy to think that they could share some ghost powers.

We know Caleb transported the guys during You Got Nothing to Lose. And the guys have left a place at the exact same time on more than one occasion.

And you may be thinking “well what if the guys poofed out to give juke a moment alone together?” And to that I say...

Look at Reggie. He isn’t looking back at Alex like “dude let’s give them some space.”

The timing of him turning around, at least to me, makes me think Reggie was surprised by Luke approaching the piano. (But also he lowkey was waiting for Luke to prove him wrong by doing something to get Julie’s attention so Reggie isn’t mad. Neither is Alex but he doesn’t like being told how or WHEN to ghost) Luke doesn’t even give his bandmates a warning eyebrow quirk, a hand signal, nothing. Reggie turns to Alex like ‘dude what is he DOING?’ And before he can even really convey that, they go *POOF*

This man had a plan and he was gonna do it, so he did. Whether it’s the power of love, they stopped performing, or Reggie and Alex actually poofed out, the odds worked in Luke’s favor so he and Julie could have a super special moment, a moment special enough to make an actual living person (Nick) wonder if a “hologram” has a better chance at connecting with Julie than he does.

Again, regardless of who made them poof or how they poofed, they mf poofed so Luke’s a happy hamster. (Idk it just sounded fitting instead of happy camper lol wait what if someone had 3 pet hamsters and named them alex reggie and luke🥺 someone buy some hamsters and let me be their godmother or their aunt and i’ll love them from afar.) Anyway, Luke’s thriving, flourishing, his crops are going to grow in time for the harvest.

You can see Julie lean back as she turns to see Luke. It’s... almost as if... She. Wasn’t. Expecting. Him. To. Be. There..??

Honey badger Luke bc he DGAF <|:) Bitch, it’s Luke mf Patterson and he’s gonna,, GET! IN! YOUR! FAAAACE!!!

You CANNOT tell me he’s not doing the absolute MOST to try and seduce Miss Juliana Mariposa Rose Molina.

Yes I’m making a headcanon that Julie has TWO middle names and that one of them is the spanish word for butterfly and that the other is her mother’s name. Also yes, I believe (i believe that we’re just one dream away from who we’re– oh, that’s not what we’re doing? okay, sorry!) that Juliana is Julie’s full name.

In this house we love and respect Juliana Mariposa (Dahlia)** Rose Molina

**I’m just putting Dahlia there for fun bc I can. :) Whether I’d consider it a possible middle name of hers depends. Anyway I just thought it was a cute thing to add bc it goes along with the other middle names I gave her *^_^* Also, I feel like I made a post giving a bunch of the characters middle names lemme see if I can find it later)

Ok i’m done this took me basically all day from like 10am until 4:08. I obviously took breaks in between, but not long ones...😶

[magniloquent-raven]

i have. MANY thoughts.

He's always known that he's a guy, but he spends the first nineteen years of his life trying to prove to himself that he isn't. He can't be. Despite how much easier his life would be if it was true, how much he wants to believe, he feels more sick to his stomach the closer he gets to convincing himself.

Fucking guys is one of the things that keeps him wondering. It's Neil's voice in his head, telling him all the things that men don't do. Whenever he hooks up with a guy. Whenever he gets wet thinking about being fucked. After he's spent 20 minutes begging to be railed a little harder.

When he's twenty, three cities away from Neil and almost passing, he picks up a girl at a bar for the first time. He eats her out in the back of his car and feels nothing but vague boredom and an ache in his jaw. When he gets home afterwards he tries to jerk off and finds he can't even bear to touch himself.

A few months after that he shaves his legs and puts on makeup for the first time in years. Goes to another bar. Flirts with men. He couldn't bear to look at himself in the mirror for longer than necessary, but he knows he looks good. Objectively. He can't figure out what to do with his hands either. Can't keep his arms close enough to his body to feel the curve of his unbound chest, can't put his hands in his lap and feel the lacy material of a skirt he borrowed. Later that night he makes the guy fuck him from behind, burying his tears in strange, scratchy sheets. It's not a particularly good lay but he still cums grinding back against mediocre dick.

He buys a strap-on. Fucking straight guys is killing him slowly, and he's tired of lying. But the idea of venturing into a gay club terrifies him. He has nothing to offer a gay dude. Nothing he'd want. He has nightmares about being stripped bare and told he isn't just inadequate, he's disgusting. So. A strap. It feels desperate. Like a plea to be loved. Wanted. When he jerks off he thinks about using it on himself and then hates that he had that thought. It sits untouched in his bedside table.

He starts blowing guys he meets in gay bars. Never more than that. Never reciprocated. Months go by and he earns himself a reputation. Bartenders start to recognize him. Men approach him out of the blue, leading with bedroom eyes and crude comments. Billy thinks, somewhere in the back of his brain, that he should probably be offended by the way some of them talk to him, the way so many treat him like a cheap whore, but. He kind of just loves the attention.

It's horrible for his libido, though. He's horny all the time. He rarely risks sticking a hand down his pants while he's on his knees, no matter how badly he wants to, and riding his own pillow while the closed drawer of his nightstand taunts him is becoming maddening.

Being horny makes him stupid. There's this one guy. Pretty, doe-eyed brunet, that he's seen a few times but never spoken to before. He kisses Billy like he means it. Pins him to a wall and lavishes him with attention that makes his knees turn to jello, and his guard along with it. There's a hand down the front of his jeans before his brain can catch up and remind him that's a bad idea. Except the guy just pauses for a second before continuing, exploring with two fingers, never quite delving inside, until Billy's panting and whining in his ear, demanding it. He makes Billy cum three times, his free hand covering Billy's wet, open mouth to muffle the cries. When he's finally relented, withdrawing his glistening fingers, Billy starts to come back to himself, inch by inch, and then all at once, the reality of the situation crashes down on him like a brick to the head. When people found out he was good with his tongue it got around so quickly. He can't have this spread around too. It scares him. And fear makes him angry. Thoughtless. He ends up breaking the guy's nose and threatening him to keep his mouth shut before running back home with a sour taste in his mouth.

It's almost two years before he's able to put himself back out there. He's settled a little since then. He got tired of hating himself. Hitting a new low made him hope he was finally at rock bottom, and he didn't want to know what subterranean might look like. So he started reaching for the sun again. He did it once, when he got himself together enough to admit he needed to get away from Neil, needed to be somewhere he could reinvent himself. And now...It's a lot harder to dig himself out of a pit he threw himself into. Less simple than just moving away and buying some compression tanks.

There's a support group he started going to. He made friends. Real friends, for once. People who understand. It's easier to know which way is up when he's got someone to point him in the right direction.

And he gets a boyfriend. A friend of a friend he made through his support group. Eddie is the first person to ever be fucked by that dildo Billy bought. He's more than willing, and honestly it's more fun than Billy thought it would be. He never really considered what it would be like, beyond thinking that it was a thing he should want. And the thing is. Seeing Eddie so enthusiastic, so carefree about his desires, it makes Billy think. Maybe he can have that too. Maybe he can want this from Eddie without it making him. Less.

It's been so long Billy almost forgot how much he likes being fucked. Or maybe it was just never this good. It was never someone he loves, someone he trusts, never with his shirt off, his boyfriend's hands tracing shiny pink scars, smiling mouth kissing his stubbly jaw.

He's fucking insatiable after that. If he has the time to be riding dick, he will be. He's too busy cumming his brains out and getting lost in Eddie's big gooey love eyes to think about all the reasons he used to be ashamed of wanting this.

For a few weeks, at least. Then. He accidentally catches sight of his reflection while Eddie's balls deep inside him. They moved the dresser recently, and the big mirror above it. He turns his head, and doesn't expect to see himself splayed out on their bed, on his back, holding his thighs open for Eddie, with such desperation in how he meets every thrust, and it just. He doesn't like having that sprung on him. It kills his burgeoning orgasm, twists his guts around shame he thought he'd buried for good. Eddie notices him shut down, and stops, and suddenly there's nothing to distract Billy from how he's feeling. Which. Is not fun.

The conversation sucks. Billy's difficult, and snappy, and Eddie flounders a little. It'll take Billy months to admit it was also necessary. It's a good thing they talked. It helped.

Especially because it happens more than once, Billy needing to stop in the middle of sex because something set him off. Sometimes it's debilitating for days. Other times it's just a blip. But it helps that Eddie knows what the problem is.

Eddie comes up with an idea. He asks if they can try something. Makes sure Billy is super sure he's okay with it. Tells him he can tap out at any time. Billy is extremely NOT sure, but he pretends not to be worried. He doesn't want to feel like a coward. So he agrees.

They have sex in front of the mirror. On purpose. Eddie sits Billy between his thighs, pants off, chest-to-back, and makes him watch. Tells Billy to focus as he fucks him, first with his fingers, slow and teasing, one hand gripping his chin to keep his eyes facing forward and the other between his legs. Then when Billy's comfortable enough, when he's dripping and squirming and his gaze has gone heavy-lidded, roaming up and down his own body, then he gets to sit on Eddie's cock.

And Eddie tells him how fucking good he looks. Does he have any idea how difficult it is not to cum immediately when Billy makes that face the second he puts his dick inside? Is that not the hottest thing he's ever seen? He's so ridiculously gorgeous Eddie still has a hard time believing he's real.

It's a strange thing, seeing himself cum. Somehow both out-of-body and more in his own body than he's ever been. Eddie's not far behind him.

It's not a fix, like moving away wasn't, therapy wasn't, getting a boyfriend wasn't. It just helps. Having Eddie guide him like that, telling him there's nothing shameful about the way he looks until he almost believes it. It's easier than trying to get there himself.

Thoughts on bottom trans!Billy?