#nothing gained
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I'm an author. I write whatever comes into my head. Fanfics. Novels (I've published two). And screenplays. For several years now, I've had a screenplay lying around in my drawers. I sent it to Leigh, with a little (big) very personnal letter.
I don't know why I did it, but if there's even the slightest chance that he'll agree to take part in this project… idk, I'm just going to manifest to make it happen.
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Getting older is strange.
I was born in 1995 (the late 1900s!) and when I was in my teens and early twenties I wanted to have a PERFECT body, a 6 pack, be able to run a half marathon at any given moment, be able to lift my bodyweight, etc... Some part of me thought beauty equated to goodness and attractiveness. I accomplished most of those and more.
But as I've gotten older I've been more comfortable just being as I am and taking things as they come. Knowing that beauty isn't a measure of goodness, someone can be model-esque but have an ugly personality that far far outweighs any possible good that their beauty could bring.
People remember how you made them feel, not necessarily how strong your muscles are/were or how perfect your body was/is. Muscles tend to fade, skin gets wrinkled, hair recedes and gets white- but personalities and the kindness you show others can be continuous and unforgettable.
And thus I just try not to be a jerk.
Still it's strange wistfully looking at the younger-folks with their clear, unwrinkled skin and youthful bodies... and remember what it was like.
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Shape you take when you lay like that Reminds me of a love I've never had If loving's wrong, what's a boy to do? But dammit if you ain't drilled into my skull And they've been tryin' to smooth me out For twenty-seven seasons now For twenty-seven seasons
#The one thing that's taken me a long time to realize is that maybe for someone you want to be in a relationship with you have to#sacrifice and take risks.#life is weird like that.#If you wait for the perfect time you'll be waiting forever.#at the same time IF the right time does present itself#the right time comes too late and then I realize all that could've been#like life teaches us this/a lesson until we learn and stop losing out#VERY often when I wait for the right time#Nothing risked#nothing gained#why am I afraid of rejection even when its likely I won't be rejected?#99% sure the person I'm thinking of doesn't use Tumblr at all#Whenever I like someone I CANNOT help but think they're outta my league
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Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with
#my path of self improvement has been less self righteous and personally gainful#and more just. a lot of embarrassment and pain#like i wouldnt change the path i took to get where i am now but i wouldve chosen to travel that path sooner because omg#nothing hits me like the fear that future me will feel the same way about right now me that right now me feels about past tense me
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if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing
#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate.#you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you#think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth.#then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty#house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive#this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died.#and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first#place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever#given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and#you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's#everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you#have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love#more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me.#real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you.#and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love.#lit#the hunger games#everlark#otp: real or not real?#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#text#tais toi lys#thgpost
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what do you mean they put hlvrai references in tf2 what do you mean valve knows about hlvrai
#SPEAKING COLORS#hlvrai#bro WHAT#i feel like im in a fever dream what do you MEANNNN#‘nothing ventured nothing gained’ I WILL PASS OUT. /nsrs
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I think I might need this again.
Idk if it works, but I may as well try.
You know what they say.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Come on, potato. Do your thing. Please
(Feel free to reblog)
#personal stuff#dougie reblogs#not my post#potato#feel free to reblog#nothing ventured#nothing gained
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“The writers” this and “the writers” that. No! The real problem with Supernatural is the motherfucker who decided to circumcise Cas’ trench coat halfway through the damn show.
#castiel#sadbuttrue#dean winchester#dean x castiel#deancas#sam and dean#sam winchester#supernatural#spn#whyyyy#why#why tho#it looks weird#what the fuck#nothing was gained#castiel supernatural#john winchester hate club#castiels trench coat#i said what i said
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Hi Penny, I’m wondering what is your stance on Game Preservation?
i think all video games are bad
#sorry im being a little mean#a tumblr account with no posts coming in hot with a 'what is ur stance on...' ask out of nowhere drives me to exhaustion though haha#obvs companies should let their games be accessible full stop we literally gain nothing from shoving them into a vault
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#will wood#wee woo#the normal album#nothing could have prevented this#nice one pandora#this one isnt as nice tho pandora haha#i just realized i forgot to change his name to freaky wood#oh well its been posted i deserve just a little treat#edit: i love how this shitpost on my sideblog gained more attention in less than a day than stuff on my main as of writing this#not complaining tho this is my legacy i shall be known for the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 album by 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝖜𝖔𝖔𝖉
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artemis is one of the best characters ever created i think. she likes to feel like a cobb salad when shes having sex. she serves cunt at all hours of the day. shes bisexual. shes jewish. she's always serving a look. she is constantly on psychedelic drugs. she fucks nasty in the dumpster behind wendy's. shes perfect
#iasip#from time to time i think about how artemis transcribed charlies play into a script#with seemingly nothing to gain from it#besides the fact that charlie is her friend and she got to help put on a show#do you think she knew? do you think while writing it all down she figured out what it was actually about#i mean she doesn't deny what everyone is saying about the script but she kind of sides with charlie when he starts bickering with the gang#do you think she felt like the kinder option was to just let him express himself the way he wanted to..#compared to the rest of the gang she's honestly a pretty selfless person#i mean yeah. she'll usually only get into something if it benefits her#but sometimes there's no reason for her to be involved. someone just asked her for help and she showed up
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help siraj rebuild his home! 🇵🇸🏡
speaking to siraj (@siraj2024) earlier today, he told me that he wasn't able to make the trip to a wifi hotspot and promote his campaign yesterday — or continue his tireless updates on the state of things in gaza — because his little boy has contracted a serious infection, one of the many illnesses spreading through the refugee tent camp that the family are stuck in. siraj, his wife, and their two very young children need a safe shelter, now.
support from people on tumblr meant siraj's fundraiser was able to reach its 2nd goal of $20 000 CAD, and now we need to help the abudayeh family reach $30 000 CAD. (siraj hopes to meet this goal by sunday 11/08.) the money will go toward food and medicine, but more importantly toward building supplies that siraj will use to rebuild his home and create a safe shelter for his family.
if you're able to donate, please do. otherwise, please reblog, or else reblog one of siraj's own posts. (by the way, if you're american, your $5 donation is actually nearly $7 CAD. your money goes a LOT further than you guys realise. and any donation helps.)
#i really do need people to spread his campaign if they haven't by the way. siraj has become a friend to many people in my mutuals circle#but i'm worried he's not gaining enough traction outside of it#siraj often points out that there is nowhere safe in gaza right now#but if nothing else please let him get his sweet little boy somewhere with a real roof and clean air. please#p
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Fat boy fall. 🍂
Commissions Prices: Here
#Chugging nothing but chai tea#fat belly#commission#weight gain#patreon#gay gainer#belly#furry commissions#furry#fat furry#gay furry
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- wip -
semirealism my beloved actually
#hina.txt#wip#whenever i get to render realistic skin i gain +200hp#anyway i was just gna do the portrait one but i like this one so much ithink i will do the standing/stretching one Also#looks at clock hm 10:40. maybe i can finish before 3am#3am is always the benchmark fr some reason lmao i am nothing if not a creature of habit#ALSO FRECKLES MEGU IM IN TEARS ON THE FLOOR#bridge piercing megu Also........ik i am not of the pierced!megu persuasion however if anything is going 2 make me reconsider it is This
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❝let me take care of you, baby.❞ ❥︎ collegebf!eren x reader
・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・
synopsis: it was nearing finals, and you avoided your boyfriend— eren—like the plague. and boy, was he was worried for you. your normally cheerful demeanor dwindled to something snarky, something avoidant. all you did nowadays was study till your brain rotted, and it made you a bitter person. he was waiting for the day you'd collapse, and the moment you did, it was worse than he expected. good thing he was there to take care of you. to pamper you because you were his baby.
*contains suggestive content!! advise against reading if you're under 17. minors will be blocked, so please dni if you're one!
key: e/c -> eye color
・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・
hey y'all!! 💌
again, not sure how the whole tumblr thing works. i'm experimenting and trying out writing for fun, so please be kind. i was pretty out of it when i wrote this, so ignore any typos or inconsistencies. also, bear with our y/n. she's crafted this way for a reason.
it's my first time writing a short fic/drabble, and i did this as more of an experiment. i welcome feedback but please be kind with your words. i am just learning and finding out what works for me.
anyways, hope you enjoy lovelies!
best,
~ nene
The past few weeks had been a living hell.
Not because of the finals nearing round the corner, or because of the two hours of sleep you were getting per night; not because of the crude professors who made it their life mission to assign a million projects when the quarter was about to end; not because of your parents who did not give two shits about your mental health.
It was the distance you were maintaining with Eren that made it the hardest.
He was worried for you. You could tell by the way his eyebrows would furrow when you would decline yet another plea to relax, or the way his eyes conceringly flitted to your scrunched posture whenever you'd cuss at yourself, or the way he would gently, tenderly... remove your hands that tended to roughly rake through your hair when anxious.
Your breaking point was nearing, and he was holding himself back from embracing you right then and there. He was not one to interfere, but he wanted to take care of you, to ease the burden off your shoulders and reassure you that your studying would amount to great achievements. But he didn't know how to reach you. You were so caught up in your bubble of self-sabotage and pressure that you shut the rest of the world out, including him.
But he didn't want to be "the rest of the world." He would wallow in your bubble too, only if you'd let him in.
"Fucking deratives will be the end of me," he heard you seethe from your position on his gaming chair. The both of you were currently cooped up in his room, with him scrolling through TikTok and occasionally glancing at you while you revised and revised till your eyes were sore.
Eren's roommate flew out, which left the place to himself. He lured you here stating it would be better to study at his place with "no distractions" compared to your apartment with Hitch, who was quite the gossip and hinderance.
As you highlighted yet another section, you felt his eyes raking down your figure.
You were engulfed in his oversized grey hoodie, wearing nothing but a flimsy cotton bra and matching underwear underneath. Your hair was messily thrown up in a bun, a few strands tickling your forehead here and there, to which you frustratedly blew from your periphery. Lilac crescents embedded themselves into your under-eyes, followed with bags entailing sleep deprivation. One bare leg was propped up as you rested your chin on your knee and swung the other absentmindedly.
If you didn't stop studying now, you'd collapse from exhaustion. Three hours had passed by nonstop. You hadn't even drank water.
"Y/n," he called out gently.
You ignored him, but he knew you heard him because of that cute forehead scrunch you just did.
"Y/n," he called, this time a bit louder. Once again, that damn scrunch, but no verbal acknowledgement.
"Y/n!" he tried for the third time. You furrowed your eyebrows, scowling. Your slender finger pressed into your plump lips, a gesture made to silence him.
Leaving his position on the bed, he strided over to you. He got onto his knees and gently took ahold of your meandering hands. The callus of his fingers felt textured against your knuckles.
"Why are you ignoring me, babe?"
"I'm not ignoring you," you replied, trying to refocus your attention on your migraine-inducing Calculus textbook. He tried not to flinch at you shutting him out for the nth time this week.
It hurt him whenever you tried drowning him out like he was a petty distraction.
Because he wasn't to be discarded. He was your boyfriend, and he promised to always be there for you, so why wouldn't you just confide in him?
"I called for you three times, Y/n," he stated calmly. Letting go of one of your hands, he gently drew circles on your knee with the pad of his thumb, hoping it'd soothe your nerves. Goosebumps littered your skin at the gesture.
"Can't you see I'm studying, Ren? I can't talk right now." Overstimulated and tired, you weren't in the mood to converse. In fact, you weren't in the mood to do anything. All you wanted to do was collapse onto your sheets and fall into a hundred-year slumber, but unfortunately, finals exist to give you enough of a reality check.
"You are working so hard, so take a break, please," he pleaded yet again.
He'd beg if it meant you'd prioritize your health. He cared more about you than his ego. That's why he always rebounded with a gentle demeanor, even if you were rude and snarky. He knew your brash attitude wasn't your fault. You just didn't function well under stress.
The unfiltered truth was, you weren't used to the princess treatment Eren offered. As a child, you had gotten used to your parents' nagging. Sleepless nights became routine if it meant you'd score straight A's. It had been like this all throughout high school.
Until you met Eren.
He prioritized you first, always, and taught you to do the same. It was sort of... a culture shock to you, a difficult adjustment. You needed time getting accustomed to this novel way of thinking, and luckily Eren was understanding.
Couldn't say your self-sabotage wasn't eating away at him, though.
"And you need to take a break from badgering me. I'm perfectly fine," you snarked. Your eyes broke contact with his, gaze landing once again on the textbook to your left.
Angling your chair, you turned your body away from him, trying to focus on the task at hand. You couldn't bear to look at him because you knew he was right. If you gave in, you would stop studying. If you stopped studying, you'd catastrophically fail, which could not happen.
With a frustrated sigh, Eren swiftly snagged your textbook and threw it behind him. It collided with the mattress with a large 'thud.' You gasped as he grabbed the edge of your chair, turning it towards him.
"You're not getting that textbook until you eat and drink something," he asserted, a layer of seriousness washing over his green eyes.
"What the hell, Eren? Give it back!" You shrieked.
"You heard the conditions."
"Eren, this is serious. I don't have time to play games right now. Please... give it back."
"Who said I'm playing games, Y/n? The only reason I'm doing this is because you're being negligent towards yourself."
"Okay, well that's my problem. Who are you to interfere?" You countered.
"Hey, I'm not trying to be your mom or anything. As your boyfriend, I care about you. It's just a glass of water and a snack, Y/n. Do it for yourself. You deserve a break."
You started panicking. An uneasy feeling sprawled up your stomach as your hands got clammy. "No! You don't understand."
"Then enlighten me, babe. I'm right here."
Rolling your eyes, you stood up from the chair, trying not to cringe at the weird noise emitted from the leather upon loss of contact with your skin. You reached forward to grab your textbook off the mattress, but Eren was faster. He took ahold of your wrist and lowered it.
You grunted in frustration. "I—I need to study, Ren. Badly. My career and future depend on it. These are hard subjects. I need hours and hours of studying to ace these exams. You don't get it."
He doesn't reply, continuing to look at you sternly and not budging. Your nerves were skyrocketing. What was his deal? This wasn't the time to be testing your patience. Plus, if he really cared, he'd understand your desperation.
"Okay, whatever sick fun you're trying to derive out of this isn't cool," you deadpanned.
You tried pulling your wrist out of his grip, but he required little to no effort to keep you at bay, simply planting his feet further into the ground when you tried shoving him. Your e/c-eyed stare pierced him like daggers, but his resolve was impenetrable.
God, what a stubborn fuck.
You continued wriggling and squirming to no avail. Your bottom lip began trembling. Liquid pooled at your lashline, threatening to moisten your cheeks with its salty trail.
You broke.
Sniffling, you shoved him repeatedly in the chest. "I hate you. I hate this. I fucking hate college and hate my parents and hate finals and hate this fucked up system that does nothing but capitalize on our stress and hate motherfucking Calculus and professor Ackerman and—"
Moist lips enclosed your own, trapping them tantalizingly. The kiss was brief and sweet. He used it as a way to tranquilize you, gently trapping both of your wrists with his one hand.
"Shh, just let me take care of you, baby," he rasped as he tenderly interlocked his arms under your legs, lifting and placing you on the bed. The mattress felt soft against your spine.
If pamper had a textbook definition, Eren's face would definitely appear in the margin.
#eren jaeger#eren yeager#eren x reader#aot x reader#aot smut#this is my first fic so i don't rlly expect it to gain that much traction lol but here goes nothing#eren#aot#eren x reader smut#eren jaeger x reader#eren yeager x reader#anime x reader#attack on titan#attack on titan fic#attack on titan fics#eren fics#eren x reader fics#eren x reader fic#eren x reader fic recs#eren recs#eren x reader recs#bf! eren x reader#jaeger#yeager#planet of the titans ☄️#the flame; eren
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trying to be ok with myself again
#omg kiera no one cares#AAAAAAAAAAAA BODY CHANGES ARE EVIL AAAAAAAAAAA#anyway you cant really see the stretch marks one thing at a time#little bit of weight gain HAS NOTHING ON ME NO NO NO NO#my stuff
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All the jokes about Ken and horses are good but I just wanna say it's such a good parallel to how actual young men get swept into misogyny and the patriarchy.
Like they're told to believe it means men get to be cool and manly and have this power but with that comes extremely rigid commands of what they can be as a man and a cycle of self hatred for never matching those gender roles perfectly. Patriarchy tells men that if they just do exactly what is expected of them, then they get all the "cool stuff" that comes with. That doesn't work though when there's only a small group that actually gets that power, but men will keep trying to fit into those roles in hopes that they can.
In the end there are no horses or the myth men are told, it's just endless cycles of self hatred and ingroup fighting.
#barbie#barbie movie#barbie spoilers#ig#ive got a lot more on how barbie looks at feminism and the patriarchy cause god they did it#not to say there isnt faults such as very little conversation about intersectionality#but i can also understand the impossible task of talking about EVERYTHING in one movie#not everyone will be happy and thats fine#anyway i think something barbie did really well is fight this battle of both wanting so deeply to love (romantically or not) men but also#not dismissing the fact its mens job to solve their problems themselves#that even if women need to be the front runners of breaking the patriarchy men cannot rely on them to solve their own problems completely#also just god im so glad this wasnt a girl boss slay movie#women deserve respect and love and life regardless of accomplishment#we should not have to be ceos and presidents and world problem solvers to gain equality#i can also understand if nonbinary people feel left out/disconnected from the movie#but as always gender abolition and acknowledging the gender binary (ie the one societially impossed) go hand and hand 👍#just incase cause idfk terfs dni the barbie movie is not for you#barbie literally states constantly that her gender has nothing to do with (non existent) genitals so f off
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