#nothing better than openly weeping in a crowd as the sounds wash over me

[kfedup]

Fun/joy

i procured tickets to go see Peter Gabriel (nosebleed stadium seats) in July and lawn seats at Blossom to see Duran Duran. 

That’s a good start to letting myself have fun and feel joy, yeah? 

Yeah. 

I’ve never seen either of these acts, and Peter Gabriel has been such an important soundtrack to my life for so long. I return to Us and So and The Last Temptation of Christ and Growing Up Live during growth phases. He’s truly a tour guide of the deep. I listened to US the other day for the first time since I moved out - holy fuck it’s 9 years in December. That album hits very different this side of two divorces, let me tell you. 

I’m also toying with driving the two hours to Pittsburgh by myself to see Beyoncé’s Renaissance tour. A $250 nosebleed ticket might be crazy, but this album has been my anchor for the last year. Now that I think about it, it’s been my entry point to joy and fun inside my body and I don’t know why I didn’t think of that during therapy. I’mma listen to it again on the dog walk this morning. This album is pure club. I am transported to The Filmore East gay parties in the early 90s where I danced for two days and nights without ceasing in an ocean of beautiful men who were the very definition of joy expressed with abandon and trust in the middle of a raging war in NYC. 

Maybe this is how I protest the grind that is life on Earth in America. Even if it is furthering capitalism. At least it’s for the sake of art and joy. 

Oh, shit... and two days before Peter Gabriel, I could see Nick Cave at Playhouse Square. And Loreena Mckennitt at the Goodyear in Akron in October. And Atmosphere in Pittsburgh. 

Fuck it, I’m not replacing the sewer line to my house until next year - or maybe I’m selling before I even need to do it. 

This bitch is getting her joy.