#nothing I am matters

[queen0fm0nsterz]

I will never not be amused by the endless irony of AM and how he, a machine with nothing but hatred and envy for the humans who created him, was so loved by his Harlan Ellison (the original author of the story, AKA his real life creator) that he HAD to voice him in every single installment of IHNMAIMS possible, not letting anyone else take him.

The very thing AM hates most is the one that gives him life and keeps him alive outside of the narrative. In a way, it's similar to how he keeps the five humans alive in the story, but at the same time it's the opposite spectrum of it: the burning hatred of the machine versus the boundless love of the artist.

[the-old-man-has-the-phonebox]

X

It’s not like I’d be missed, y’know? Like, there’s only one person here I’m actually in contact with off of this site.

No one in my classes have noticed I’m gone. The only people who’ve noticed I’m even gone is the bursar because I have a late payment.

My family would be relieved, too. Finally the big disabled, burdenous piece of shit is gone.

I could vanish tomorrow and everyone would be none the wiser. And the few who would be either wouldn’t care or would move on.

It’s not like I’d get Van Gogh-ed. My art will fade into oblivion. It’s already started to.

It’s not like there’d be any sort of memorial. No one on campus knew me. And it’s been made clear that if I go, my family will not be wasting money on a funeral.

I will finally be forgotten like I deserve to be, but instead of witnessing it before my very eyes while alive, I will finally be unable to care.

[lovertm]

pins by dannybrito

[petrichara]

Trying to remember the last time I played hide and seek. The last time I said hi to everyone on the street or saw the girls I spent every day of six years with. The last time my dad picked me up, or my mum brushed my hair. When was the last time I dressed without consideration? There is so much to think about now. I remember falling on the grass at school and making stories with the clouds. Hanging upside down from the swing and realising how big the world was. I wonder on the path of growing when we stop feeling big. I am taller now, smaller still.

[autisticrosewilson]

While we're on the topic of De-aging AU's I wanna talk about Jason and Damian if Jason was 14 again real quick.

Do you guys think that Damian looks at this version of Jason, so different from the version he knows, nothing like the person he was told Jason was, and feels uncomfortably seen?

Damian was always told that Jason died because he was reckless, because he disobeyed orders, he was fired as Robin and he got himself killed. A cautionary tale, not a threat to his position. He dismisses Jason because Bruce does, because Dick does, because sometimes even Babs and Alfred do.

That's not the kid that he's looking at now. This Jason is happy, and smart, and full of love that has not yet soured into grief. He hangs on Bruce's every word, trains until his hands bleed and his body gives out to perfect the moves Bruce teaches him. He looks at Bruce with stars in his eyes and he calls him dad.

And Damian can't help but think, that this is the perfect Robin. The perfect son. And if Jason - sweet, loving, strong, Jason - can be fired, can die and have his room locked away and his pictures torn down, can have his last memory as Robin be as A Good Soldier, how could the rest of them ever compete? What could Damian do to stand a chance?

Jason will never grow out of the shadow of Robin, like the rest of them did. As long as Bruce, and Dick, and Babs, and Alfred look at him and see a dead kid who came back wrong, he will never get to be anything else. He will not get to be looked at through who he is now without the shadow of a dead boy looming over him.

And the worst part? Jason is exactly the same person he was back then. Bitter, sure, angry, justifiably, but he is still the boy with too much love in his heart and righteous fury festering in his gut. He is exactly the same boy who threw himself in front of an explosion to save his mother.

(The lines between the mother that betrayed him and the father that disgraced him are so very blurred. Fire or blade or crowbars or fists it does not matter. It ends the same way it always does because Jason Todd always dies, in every universe, in every timeline, Jason dies and crawls out only to be killed again and again and again.)

[blueskittlesart]

I FINALLY DID IT

[accirax]

(Whit did, in fact, gaf, but he wasn't about to let anyone know that.)

[marisatomay]

I don’t know how this election is going to shake out but I personally think that it’s a long term mistake for the Dems to campaign on how “we actually agree with Rs and we’re welcoming these deeply unpopular people like the Cheneys into the fold but you should still vote for us because we’re better people” rather than campaigning on their very popular policies which have won them every midterm since Trump was elected, the presidency in 2020, and countless special elections

[turtleblogatlast]

Been thinking about how Donnie and Leo’s insecurities juxtapose each other.

Donnie is insecure about his place in the family, but confident in who he is outside of it.

Leo is secure about being a part of the family, but thinks he’s nothing outside of it.

I think it’s a very interesting comparison that reflects their respective personalities, Donnie’s “Will all I have to offer be enough?” versus Leo’s “Do I even have anything else to offer?”

[chalkrub]

so i got through to the top 300 for the pokemon tcg contest. i'm feeling normal about it........feeling very normal and sane. which is why i also drew this in ms paint

[tapakah0]

Eh, almost forgot ;~;; Commission for sweet @celestialrose3 ;;~;;; Thank you so much *bows*

[vaguely-concerned]

on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.

all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)

in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.

[chappellrroan]

life when you stop caring about fandom discourses

[bugboybuck]

as someone who has literally never enjoyed mpreg i am actually having a great time rn and i think it is bc nothing has felt real since the breakup ep being so absurd. like frankly im finding it easier to believe a cis man could get pregnant and also continue being an active firefighter While pregnant than i find it to believe tommy was abbys ex and THAT was nonsense i had to see play out on screen with my own eyes, so all of a sudden my lifelong difficulty with suspending disbelief is gone. embrace absurdity. i think they should have twins

[kabloomed]

[lilacerull0]

that kindled her, she lighted up

Lila's love for learning and Lila's love for people in her life are identical and come from the same place. This is rather unusual and she is consistently transformed into something either less or more than human for it. She is made out to be less than human when her love for people more closely resembles love one might have for an idea or a book or a city. She is made out to be more than human when her love for learning more closely resembles love for a person in its intensity, dedication and passion. Both of these things inspire a fascination that turns sour in others who in return want to make this part of Lila dissappear. It's only with Enzo that she gets to be this way, not only without having it be a bad thing, but also having it be something that she can share and enjoy in the presence of the other.